My Life?

Xander looked at the front of the main hideout in awe.  "Wow.  I live here?"  Lupin nodded, opening the door.  "Why?"

"Because I live here and you came to be our student," Lupin reminded him, walking him inside.  Marcus had split off to grab the kids while they had went for dinner, so the kids were waiting on them.  "Remember what we said about the kids?  Well, they're here and waiting on you.  You don't have to panic or anything, they'll only want hugs."

"Sure.  I like hugs," Xander agreed, following him into the house.  He stopped to pet a cat that was sitting on top of a priceless vase, then headed on so Jigen could get his cat off there behind their backs.  They walked into the family room and he paused.  "Wow, there's a lot of you," Xander said, looking at Lupin.  "There's a whole lot of them."

"We're taking over the world, dad," Melissa said with a wicked grin.  "You said so."  She got up and gave him a long hug.  "I missed you."

"Thanks, kiddo.  I probably would have missed you too," he noted, patting her on the head.  "You're mine?"

"They're all yours to some degree or another," Jigen said, coming in with his cat on his shoulder.  Lupin gave him an odd look.  "She insisted."  He looked at the other kids.  "He won't break if you hug him."  They ran and grabbed Xander, bringing him to the floor to hug him.

"Wow, you guys are really strong," Xander praised, finally getting free when the cartoons came back on.  He stood up again, looking at Lupin.  "Where's my room?  Maybe it'll help me remember.  That's how it works on tv."

"It's upstairs.  Goemon?"  Goemon walked to the doorway. "Can you put Xander in his room?"

"Of course."  Goemon led the boy upstairs.  "There are a few odd things in there.  If you have any questions, you only have to ask."

"Sure.  Thanks, man."  He gave him a pat on the arm as he walked inside, looking around.  His first stop was his closet, frowning at the women's clothes.  "I'm married?"  He looked around, there was no signs of a wife.  No perfume/makeup/tampons/pictures/stray shoes or anything that might hint to a wife or a girlfriend.  Then again, that big guy had said that Arsene was his boyfriend.  "I like to wear women's clothes?" he asked himself, looking really confused now.

Downstairs, Lupin was listening to the kids as they chatted about Xander in the other room.  He could just barely see them through the open door.

"You know, he's only eight years old than us now," his beloved daughter said.  "And he's really pretty.  I wouldn't mind having him if daddy can't have him back."

Melissa gave her an odd look. "Lupin, don't get off on my father!" she said, looking disgusted. "That's nasty!  You wouldn't like it if I did it to your dad."

"Well, no, but my dad's not young and hot.  Xander is."

"He's still your uncle," her father called.  "Do not say that in front of the others, Arsene."

"Yes, daddy," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "But he is!"

"Ick!  Ickickickickickickickickickickickickickickick!" Melissa shouted, holding her fingers in her ears.  "Daddy!  Make her stop it!" she cried.  "She's being gross and nasty again!"

Jigen walked in from the other direction, giving her a hug.  "Arsene," he said with a glare.  "What did you do this time?"

"I simply said that Xander was only eight years older than us and he was young and pretty now.  That I wouldn't mind dating him myself if you and daddy didn't because he was too young."

"Arsene, that would be incest," Ishi said firmly.  "He is still our parent, even if he doesn't remember us as such."  He scowled at her, making her duck her head.  "Do you often have such thoughts about your other family members?"

She shuddered.  "Eww.  No!"

"Then don't start on that one.  He is still our father," Ishi said firmly.  He got up. "I'm going to clean my ears now," he muttered as he walked past Jigen.  He found his father and scowled at him.  "Your accusation has now infected Arsene, are you happy?" he asked as he walked past him.

Goemon went into the room where Lupin was sitting.  "My son just accused me of giving your daughter ideas?"

"My beloved daughter said that since Xander was only eight years older than her now, she wouldn't mind being his girlfriend if we didn't want him."

Goemon shuddered.  "That is sickening.  Arsene!"

"Sorry, Uncle G," she called.  "I didn't mean to give everyone nightmares."

"Well, you did," her father called back.  "Besides, he's mine and you can't have him.  I won't be sharing, ever, daughter."

"Yes, daddy," she sighed.

"It proves she is your daughter," Goemon pointed out.  "You both have similar tastes in lovers."

Lupin glared at him, then slowly shook his head.  "Goemon, go away.  Before you give *me* nightmares."

Jigen looked into their room.  "When I said your kid would be the bunion on the asshole of humanity, I didn't mean for her to get a start with the family, man."  He looked at Arsene.  "You can only think such thoughts if you think them about your Uncle Goemon too," he ordered.

She looked up at him.  "Well, he does wear the ancient buttfloss," she pointed out.  "His loincloth is really wedged up in there by the way he walks sometimes.  And hey, if he can keep a woman like Fujiko busy, then I'm sure he could easily teach me whatever I needed to learn in that arena too."

Goemon walked in, eyes wide.  "No," he said slowly and clearly.  "It will not happen!  You will behave or we will be sending you to a doctor to find out what is wrong with you."  He stomped off.

"Nice one, kid.  Makes me proud," Lupin called, going back to his reading.

"Thanks, dad.  What are you going to do since you can't lay Uncle Xander for the next two years without Zenigata instantly showing up to arrest you?  He said he would be by the way."  She smirked up at her Uncle Jigen.  "I think you're cute too, but you're not the playful sort I think I'd like."

Jigen reached for the nearest phone and dialed a long distance number.  "Fihad, man, could you please call in a psychotic drug for little Lupin the Fourth and one for me?  Please?  And possibly some sedatives for Goemon."  He handed over the phone at the laughing.  "Tell him what you said," he said as he walked away.  "Tell him I'm heading for the pharmacy too."

"Tell him to come up and look at your Uncle Xander while he's at it," Lupin suggested.

"Uncle Fihad?  Hi.  Nope, this is little Lupin the Fourth.  Yes, daddy did spawn," she said patiently.  "No, I simply said that since Uncle Xander was now sixteen again that he was more than cute enough for me to date...."


Xander looked up as his door opened, waving at the woman standing there.  "Hi.  I guess you're someone else I'm supposed to remember?"  She nodded, walking in and closing the door.  "Then who are you?"


"Oh.  It must be *your* clothes in my closet.  Hiding them until after you have the baby?"

She grimaced. "No, they're yours," she told him. "What are you playing at, Xander?  Amnesia isn't like that."

He frowned at her.  "Do I like you usually?"

A young man who looked a lot like the guy who ran around in the kimono walked in and grabbed the older woman.  "She apologizes.  The pregnancy has hurt her mentally and she's not supposed to be wandering around."  He walked her back to her room and shoved her inside, slamming the door again.  He went to tell on himself, but knew he was right in doing that.  It was up to him to protect his uncle since his 'sisters' weren't.   Fortunately the Ritalin was working very well on Arsene.  He still had to look up that other disease the doctor had told her she had, Turret's syndrome.  "Uncle Jigen," he said as he walked into the study and found him there.  "I've locked the mother in her room again.  She was picking on Xander."

"Thanks, kid."  He grinned at him.  "You okay?"

"So far. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you and Xan are really close and I know it's got to be bothering you."  He sat up, making the cat move, even though it gave him a dirty look and huffed off.  "Sorry, but the kid needs me."

Ishi snickered.  "I bet ten years ago you would have killed someone for suggesting this scene."

"Probably true," Jigen agreed.  "No ducking the issue.  You okay?"

"So far," he said again, shrugging.  "He'll come back, I know he will.  If he can make it through hell and raising Arsene, he can easily regain his memories.  Until then, I can lean on Marcus and my father."

"Good kid."  He gave him a short hug.  "Now, isn't it time for bed?"

"Yeah, I guess," Ishi admitted, heading back up to his room.  He stopped to listen at his mother's door, hearing the long pants and something squealing as she squeezed it.  He frowned and went to his father's new room, knocking lightly since he should be up.  No answer so he looked inside.  His father was passed out on his bed.  He went to check on his Uncle Lupin, finding him also asleep.  "Uncle?" he called quietly.  Lupin launched a pillow at him.  "Fine."  He left, heading back downstairs.

"Ishi, I said bed," Jigen warned.

"Mother's panting, grunting, and squeezing something so hard it's squeaking," he offered.

"Shit!  Go wake up your father."

"I think he took a sedative and Uncle Lupin won't wake up either."

"Fine.  Go wake up Bix and Marcus.  I'll check on your mother."  He hurried up the stairs.  They had been dreading this moment.  He had almost hoped it had happened while they had been in the US, but no, not Fujiko.  She never had convenient timing.  He knocked before walking in, helping her stand upright again.

"What the fuck are you doing!" she screamed.  "Get off me!"

"Quit, now," he warned calmly.  "Are you in labor?"  She nodded, giving him a disgusted look. "Then lay down for a bit.  We'll get this done."  He helped her onto the bed and into a comfortable spot.  "Has your water broke?"

"A while ago," she admitted.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't know what the hell it was!" she shouted, grabbing his hand.  "Ow!  Owowowowowow!"

"Calm down.  Women do this all the time," he said as soothingly as he could.  "LUPIN!"

"Yes, Uncle?" Arsene shouted back.

"Get your father up, she's in labor!"

"Then call a fucking ambulance," she shouted back.  "Don't torture the woman by making her have it here!"  She went to pounce her father, dodging the other pillow missile.  "Daddy, the baby's coming!" she shouted as she bounced up and down on his stomach.  "Come on, you've got to get up or Uncle Jigen will have to deliver it!  Come on, dad!"  He swatted at her so she narrowed her eyes.  "You mother-fucking, slimy assed, gay little thief, get your ass up!" she said in her best Zenigata.

"Aw, Pops, didn't know you cared," he mumbled.

"Father!  The baby's coming!" she shouted.  "Uncle Jigen's going to have to deliver it!"

"Tell UPS to drop it," he said, giving her a light shove.

"Oh, fucking hell!  Bastard, get your vampire pale, stupid ass out of that bed!" she shouted.  He yawned and blinked at her a few times. "Aunt Fujiko's having the baby, father," she said impatiently. "Don't you think someone should save her from Uncle Jigen cutting her open from the neck down?"

"Shit!  Go get up Goemon!" he said, rushing out of the bed, ignoring the fact that he only had on his boxers.

She rolled her eyes.  "Why me, God?"  She went to do the same to her other uncle, starting by pouncing him.  He caught her in mid-leap.  "Your son's about to be born," she said when he blinked at her, her hair falling down around her face.  "Can you let me go?  You're making all the gas move and it'll come out really badly this time."

He set her onto the floor and got out of bed, heading down there in only his loincloth.

"That's it, I'm buying you all pajamas for the holidays!" she shouted.  She stomped to the nearest phone in her father's room, calling the doctor up the street.  "Hi, sir, it's Lupin's daughter.  Auntie Fujiko is in labor and my dad and uncles are stupid fucks at the moment.  They're running around in their underwear not having a clue.  Can you come birth the baby for them so she isn't killed?"  She grinned.  "Thanks.  I'll turn off the security system for you."  She hung up and went to the top of the stairs.  "Bertina, the doctor's coming, let him in!" she called down to the housekeeper.

"Yes, ma'am," was answered back.  "Is it time?"

"Oh, yeah, and the parents have no sense of modesty.  I hope like hell my future boyfriends are built like them."  The housekeeper gave her a funny look.  "Did you think boxers and a loincloth hide that much?"

"Well, no, but I try very hard not to look.  It's not polite, dear."

Arsene grinned. "Think about who you just said that to," she said with a smirk.

"Good point.  Try anyway, they are your parents, little one."  She turned on the monitor, letting him through the gates when his car pulled up.  "Oh, dear.  Arsene, can you tell your father the Don over Paris is here to see him?"

"Put him in the family room, he can wait," she said.  "I'll put on clothes so he's not embarrassed."  She walked back to the bedroom, sticking her head inside.  "Guys, the doctor's on the way and so is Paris' Don.  He's going in the family room."  Everyone looked at her.  "Never mind, I'll take care of this.  The doctor is on the way," she said patiently, going to wake up Ishi.  He had done this before.  "Yo!" she said as she opened his door, making him jump and cover up his nude body. "I don't want to know.  I don't need to know.  Your mother's in labor and they need some common fucking sense.  Plus some clothes."  She closed his door, shaking her head a few times before going to get dressed.  She came out as the doctor ran in with Ishi behind him.  "Thank you."  She headed down the stairs, smiling at the nice man who had given her a teddybear once. "Hi. You have really bad timing, sir.  Fujiko's in labor."  He gaped at her.  "What?"

"Who are you?"

She walked in and held out her hand. "Arsene Lupin the Fourth."

His eyes widened and he shook her hand.  "Well.  The rumors are true."  She nodded, sitting across from him.  "Are you much like your father?"

"More or less.  At the moment, I'm more clothed than he is because of the impending birth.  He and Uncle Goemon are both running around in their underwear."

He chuckled, smiling at her. "I'm sure it's simply panic, young lady.  How old are you?"

"I'll be nine in another few weeks. 'Lis?  Lotus?  Needed down here!" she yelled.  She looked at him again.  "This way you can meet the next generation, minus one.  Ishi's upstairs with his mother since he got to deliver Alex.  He's about the only one with sense right now."  He laughed again, eyes closing.  "So, what did you come up about tonight?  Are you normally one who keeps vampires' hours?"

"No, dear, but some disturbing things have just reached my ear and I had to come talk to your father in person.  Do you think it'll take very long?"  She nodded.  "Why?"

"Because she's not screaming yet."

"Ah."  He guessed that was a good enough gauge at the moment. He smiled as a dark- haired young woman walked in with another yawning as she walked in behind her.  "Hello.  Which of you is which?"

"I'm Lotus," the first one said, shaking his hand.  "Goemon's second child.  This is Melissa Jigen."  She sat down beside Arsene. "It's a good thing you got up Ishi.  Your father's dancing around upstairs like he's standing on hot coals and Melissa's isn't much better.  Mine is moaning at the moment, holding her hand and kissing the back of it.  Ishi and the doctor are doing everything."

"I kind of figured with the way I had to wake up the paternal unit."  She glanced upstairs, then at Lotus.  "Maybe one of us should check on Uncle Xander."

"Going," Melissa said, hurrying up there to do that.  She ran into her father in the hallway, getting stopped by him. "The Don over Paris is downstairs, daddy, and Arsene sent me up to look in on Daddy."

"Sure.  Go for it," he said, heading down the stairs.  He walked into the family room.  "Don," he said respectfully. "Something we can do for you?"

"Actually, I've heard some very strong rumors recently and I had to come up and check on them before some of the other Dons got upset and came up to attack you.  Fortunately, this wonderful young woman is quite helpful."

"Only sometimes," Jigen muttered, cracking Arsene up. "Go back to bed, girls.  The baby won't be born until in the morning.  They might even have to take her to the hospital."  They nodded and left to eavesdrop.  "Rumors?" he asked as he took Arsene's seat.

"About them.  About Lavelle actually being underage.  Things of that nature."

Jigen looked at the man and sighed. "It's complicated.  And odd.  How much did you need to know to keep them off our backs?"

"We heard that Lavelle went to London and they ran there.  That he had been hiding them?"

"Or something like that," Jigen agreed dryly.   "They were protectively away from us before then."

They stared at each other and the Don finally nodded. "All right, I can let that go at that.  How old is Lavelle?"

"Thirty-two in another seven months," Jigen admitted.

"I saw your pictures from the airport."

Jigen rubbed his chin, then leaned forward once his beard smoothed back in place.  "Yeah, well, someone had just kidnaped Lavelle and used something experimental on him.  He does look younger, especially since they dyed his hair.  He's still in his thirties."

"I see."  The Don looked him over.  "You look younger as well."

"It's where I can't smoke."

"And the reason Lupin looks fifteen years younger?"

"Man, you'd better take that up with Lupin.  I can't tell."  Jigen shrugged.  "It's a family secret and I can't tell, man, I'm sorry."

"I understand.  I didn't expect you to give me easy answers and I don't expect Lupin to give them to me either.  I do expect to hear some truth however."

"If I told you the truth, you'd lock me in the nuthatch," Jigen told him.

"Interesting.  How odd?"

"Like Cairo, only worse," Lupin said as he walked in, finally in a bathrobe.  "What's up?"

"Zenigata has let it be known that Lavelle is underaged?"

Lupin winced as he sat down.  "No, not quite.  Well, technically, but not.  He's thirty one, but he's in the body of a sixteen-year-old."

The Don looked at him, then sighed.  "The real reason?"



Lupin nodded.  "Magic.  Someone kidnaped him and used something on him that deaged him.  We were having the same thing made for us.  It can only be used once but we need it to keep up with the kids."

"Magic is real?"

"Have you seen Dawn's recent stuff?" Jigen asked.  He nodded quickly.  "Ever wonder how she suddenly appears and disappears?"  He shook his head.  "You might want to start."

"Should I be drunk for this conversation?" he asked blandly.

"Hey, if it helps," Lupin said with a shrug.  "I nearly did, but then again I've run into it before.  Cairo was as close as I ever came before our long vacation a few years ago, and then I found real magic doing something on my own.  It was kinda funny, the Imperial dragon likes me."  He shrugged.  "Who knows why."

The Don got up and went searching for a drink, taking it from Jigen's hand.  "Thank you, I need this more."

"Yeah, probably.  Fujiko isn't allowing herself to be moved.  She wants us to kill her here."

"Are you going to?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Jigen pointed out.  "She's not my wife, I would have killed her before now."  He strolled off, going to get himself another drink.  He really did need a drink, he had seen Fujiko when he had checked her over.  That was bad enough, but he had been caught staring as she stretched out.  Goemon had to break the hideous sight and he had nearly cried in relief.  Then again, Goemon had given him one of those 'I understand' looks so maybe he felt the same way.  Good thing Ishi and the doc knew what they were doing.


Fujiko looked down at her son, then rolled onto her side.  "He's not mine."

"If you feel that way, that's fine," Goemon agreed, taking his son from the doctor.  "I'll be in my room if you need him."  He walked away, taking his sons back to his room.  Ishi had been quite helpful and he deserved to hold his baby brother.  "Come, sit," he ordered.  Ishi sat next to him, stealing the baby to hold.  "Are you upset?"

"No, and Lotus won't be either, Father.  She wanted to do a posthumous c-section if you remember back a few weeks."  He stroked the dirty head.  "You need a bath, young man."  He looked at his father.  "Was I this nasty?"

"Definitely," he said dryly.  "And slimier if I remember right.  Or perhaps that was other bodily fluids.  Lupin won't want to buy a new mattress but he'll need one."

"All babies come out icky, makes me sure I never want one," Ishi said dryly.  "At least you weren't as bloody as Alex. You'll like her, she's cuddly, little guy.  What's his name?"

"Not a clue," Goemon admitted.

"Father, that's a name that the other children will surely pick on," Ishi said dryly, grinning at him as soon as his father broke into laughs.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Enter and worship at the baby's toes!  Especially if you're bringing a few damp cloths."

"Well, I'm not, but I wanted to see the baby," Xander said as he peeked in.  "Can I?"  Ishi nodded, letting him hold the baby.  "Wow.  You're kinda nasty," he said with a grin.  Then he suddenly frowned and shook his head.  "Odd."  He went back to examining the baby.  "How are you, precious?  Hmm?  Do you have a name yet?  You need a name, we can't keep calling you nasty butt, no we can't," he cooed, rubbing noses with the baby.  "You need a bath.  Yes, you do, you need a bath," he said happily, bringing the baby into the bathroom to run him a bath in the sink.  "Not the greatest first bath place, but it'll do.  Your first one, you can go to Rome and bathe the baby in the fountains down there.  There are supposed to be whole lots of them.  Or maybe in the ocean, yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked as he splashed the delicate skin with water.  "Can someone get me a washcloth?"

Ishi slid off the bed and grabbed one for him, watching as the baby was bathed.  "For not remembering doing that in the past, you're very good," Ishi noted.

"I have done this in the past," Xander said bitterly.  "He didn't stay with us though."  He turned the baby over and went over his back, making the baby coo and wiggle.  "Yeah, you're a good boy, Jona....little guy.  Yes, you are."

Ishi gave him a hug.  "It's all right.  It was probably better for him to be taken away."

Xander looked at him.  "You have no idea."

"I know.  But I know some and it's enough to make me want to hurt your parents.  He's trying to suck on the bar of soap."  Xander moved the baby and cleaned off his mouth, then handed him over to get dry.  "Was he your brother?"


"Oh.  I'm sorry, Xander."  The older boy shrugged.  "If you want, you can tell me sometime while we're working out.  I don't mind in the least.  It makes me know that you're not perfect and great."  He kissed him on the forehead and brought the baby back, letting the doctor in.  "We just bathed him."

"I noticed he's not got afterbirth on him anymore," the doctor agreed, checking him over.  He did the weight and measurement stuff, then wrote it down on the birth certificate.  That got handed to Goemon while the baby was handed back to Ishi.  "You're very good, young man.  Have you considered being a doctor?  Or even an herb healer if you wanted to go with some of the old ways."

"I hadn't, but I'm sure some of my training will be of that," Ishi admitted, looking at his father.

"If that is what you wish to be, then be that," he agreed.

Ishi shrugged. "I'll think about it, but that's nasty."

The doctor chuckled. "Surgery is worse.  Intestines are not pleasant to play with."  He patted Ishi on the shoulder. "You're a very good big brother.  Did you need anything else?"

"Only if you wanted to look in on Sierra's and Alex's stuffy noses," Goemon offered.  "They should be fine."

"Why not.  I'm already here," he agreed happily.  Runny noses were normal kid things, he saw a lot of them probably.  He left them with a prescription for Alex and allergy medicine for Sierra, then left to go back to bed.

Goemon smiled at his son.  "Go back to bed, son.  Sleep in tomorrow, you and Xander both deserve it."  He left, taking the baby downstairs.  "You'll need a new mattress."

"Birth is often messy," the Don agreed, slightly tipsy now.  He looked at the baby.  "Wow. You're a baby Goemon."

"Yes he is," Goemon agreed as he sat down, crossing his feet in front of him.  He was still only wearing a loincloth and didn't care at the moment.  He would care when he got chilly or one of the other children awoke.  "We never did figure out a name."

"I don't know, Goemon.  What do you want to call him?"

Goemon shrugged.  "I don't know.  I know he was supposed to be...."  He trailed off and looked at the other man with them, then at Lupin.  "Am I interrupting?"

"No, he's come up to verify some rumors.  He heard about the kids and Lavelle's wonderful anti-aging thing he's got going on.  Zenigata's going to bust us as soon as there's any sign that we're sleeping with him before he's eighteen."

"As he should.  Lavelle is now a boy, Lupin.  You must take that into account."  He looked down at his son.  "What will you be when you grow up?"  The baby yawned and made sucking faces.  "Ah, you're hungry."  He started to get up but Bix brought in a bottle, blushing hard when she saw him. "Sorry," he mumbled with a blush of his own.  He tested it before sticking it in the open mouth, stopping any protest.  "Do not worry.  I know it's not the same as the mother would feed you but it is good enough.  At least for now."

"She can't, Goemon."

"I know.  It is sad, but perhaps for the best."  He patted the round stomach.  "You drink, son. You need it to grow as large as I am."  Bix squeaked and ran off with a glowing blush.  "What?"

"Um, Goemon, you're peeking out of the loincloth," Lupin pointed out.  "I think you embarrassed her to no end."  Goemon adjusted himself, then hit him really hard on the arm. "Ow!"  He scowled at him.  "Grumpy asshole.  Just wait until you're a grandfather!"

"You're more likely to have that happen first," Goemon retorted meanly.  "After all, your daughter is *exactly* like you, including in what you find attractive."  Lupin blanched and Goemon smirked at him.  "I feel better now for some reason."

Paris' Don laughed.  "You're so bad."  He wiggled his fingers at the baby.  "How are you?"

"Apparently he's comfortable," Goemon offered.  He shrugged lightly.  "He seems to like me and I'm happy about that.  Ishi was always a very calm child and Lotus adored her time in my arms.  As does my son Kenji."

"Goemon, you have four kids?"  Goemon nodded.  "Why?  Or better yet, how?"

"That's part of that long story," Lupin offered.  "Have another drink, it might be necessary."

The other man wisely poured himself another drink and gulped half of it.  "Shoot me, I'm ready."


Xander woke up with a scream from his nightmare, but he held it inside.  He sat up and curled around himself, staring out his window.  "What the hell have I done?" he whispered.

Someone knocked on the door and walked in.  "I was up," Ishi explained, coming in to sit beside him.  "What was it?"

"I was destroying a city," Xander said weakly, not quite making it a question.  He knew that somehow it was real.  He had magic?

"You were protecting us kids.  Those people wanted to kill us."  Xander stared at him.  "Seriously.  You've done more than destroy buildings to protect us, Uncle Xander."

"I...."  He shook his head.  "I don't understand I guess.  I'm a demon hunter?"

"And an assassin, and a thief, and many things," Ishi agreed.  "You started to seriously hunt demons after being saved from them."  He moved the t-shirt aside, tracing a scar he knew was there.  "After you got these."  Xander traced over the same spot, frowning down at his body.  "The necklace hiding them is the tiger's eye."

Xander fumbled with the catch but it finally did come undone.  He looked at his bare arms and started to whimper. "No!"

Ishi grabbed his chin, making him look at him.  "You were saved, now you save others," he said firmly.  "You take out bad people who need to be removed and you save people from the higher demons.  There is no shame and no dishonor in that.  You do what you must to survive."

"I like it?" Xander asked pitifully. "How can I like that?"

"Because sometimes it's easier than being a good guy.  You've often said you're a black knight now, Uncle Xander.  We count on you to protect us.  Let's face it, sometimes Uncle Lupin and Uncle Jigen forget we're around.  You never forget us.  Not from the moment we're born until now.  You came back from Hell a changed man, and you found a new place.  You came to terms with your duties and your destiny.  For right now, we'll let you rediscover that stuff.  But know if you need it, we are here."

Xander nodded, leaning over to give him a hug.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome, Uncle.  Any other questions?"

"Why do I have girls' clothes in my closet?"

"Ah."  Ishi grinned.  "You have in your possession a choker of immense power.  It changes gender.  You don't much wear it anymore, but you are a stunning personality changer.  As proven at the conventions you introduced me to last year."

"You mean I am a geek?"

Ishi stood up, heaving his uncle with him.  "Come on.  It's time you remembered your things.  This room has pitiful little of your personality in it."  He walked him down to the storage rooms Lupin was keeping Xander's things in, flipping on the lights.  "These are all yours.  What hasn't been put into storage that is."

Xander moved forward, looking at the detailed descriptions on each box's label.  Genre, title, which comic numbers, and approximate worth of the box.  He moved onto the back boxes, looking at the labels on them. "Hey, anime."  He grinned back at his friend.  "I like those conventions, right?"

"You routinely go as Inuyasha."

"Wow.  I can pull that off?"

"So well that you've got the record for most costume contests won in a row," Ishi assured him.  "Your kimono collection is in another room.  It's in a fireproof room."

"Why aren't these?"

"Because we only had one and putting them all in there was asking for trouble," Ishi said with a shrug.  "These aren't your collector's editions or your 'perfect' copies.  Those are kept in a special warehouse and taken care of by a librarian."  He waved a hand.  "Come on, we'll go walk around.  You always were up and wandering each night."  They walked out and ran into Jigen.  "He remembered Geneva."

"Ah."  Jigen nodded.  "It's okay, you're not usually like that, Xan."

Xander gave him a helpless look.  "Are you sure?  I seemed pretty pleased with myself."

"That's for not hurting any innocents," Jigen offered.  "Come on, I'll walk around with you.  Lupin's snoring is reverbing through the rooms."  He looked at Ishi.  "I could have sworn you had a bedtime."

"Oh, whine, Uncle Jigen. We both know that I'm not the sort to sleep all night."  He yawned, shaking his head quickly.  "Aberration."

"Sure it is," Jigen said dryly.  "Bed, Ishi, before we handcuff you to it and make you stay there all day tomorrow with the girls taking care of you."

"You'd make them hold a vessel while I peed into it?" Ishi asked, raising an eyebrow just like his father could. "Are you hoping one of them breaks their focus on me?  Because I must say that I'll probably never date one of those children."

"Damn, there's a scary thought.  You and Arsene having a kids," Jigen mumbled, taking Xander outside to sit on the patio set.  "You okay so far?"

"Pretty good," Xander admitted.  "I'm still really confused."

"Eh.  This life is confusing enough for those who live it.  Coming into it again this way isn't going to help you any, but we know you can get through all this stuff."  He patted Xander on the hand and then leaned back to light up a cigarette.  "Ah," he sighed in pleasure.  "Like how you don't know how long I've been waiting to finish a whole one of these, you won't know other things either.  For that matter, there are things that you'd usually put up with that we're looking forward to seeing you deal with, like little Arsene's mouth."

"Does she have an overbite?"

"No, she's got a sewer for a mind at her age and blurts out shit like you wouldn't believe," Jigen shared.  He winked at him.  "It'll be okay, Xan.  I promise.  We'll get you through this and celebrate your eighteenth birthday really heavily."  The younger man blushed.  "None of that.  From what you've told us in the past, you've had men by now."

"Well, yeah," Xander admitted sheepishly.  "But the guy said that he didn't want to know and he would shoot me if I even thought about that."

"Good thing he's dead," Jigen said dryly.  Xander gave him a horrified look as he shifted away slightly.  "We like your fertile, smutty mind, Xander.  It helps us plan things and makes things go easier.  Anyone who takes that from you, or us, needs to be punished.  They had no right to experiment on you that way."

"Experiment?" Xander asked.  "I thought he was protecting us on Giles' orders."

"Nah," Jigen said, taking another long suck on his cigarette.  "He was Army.  They wanted to breed some super soldiers and you've always seemed super in the past so they picked you and Buffy. I'm not sure about the Willow thing, but I do know that you and Buffy were both tampered with mentally.  That's why you can't remember things."  He took another suck, looking down at the thing between his fingers.  He was three-quarters done!  He took another good few puffs then sighed and put it out.  "Finally," he said in relief.

"Why couldn't you smoke?  Did those commercials get to you?"

"No.  Fujiko hit me with a shot of some new drug that makes you allergic to nicotine.  I had a four pack a day habit then."  Xander winced.  "Exactly.  I have an allergy shot in case I start to react, it's in the kitchen, in the drawer to the right of the sink."  He resettled himself.  "Right now, we've got people looking to see if what he did to you can be undone.  Things like the dye, well, we're going to have to wait it out I think."

"He dyed my hair?"

"It's silver now, Xan.  I noticed Ishi showed you your scars, it came with them."

"Oh."  He looked down at himself.  "I look horrible.  Why would anyone touch me with these?"

"Because those of us who like you don't mind," Jigen offered.  "We usually have to order you to take off the necklace to prove it, but we don't mind."

"You mean I wear it all the time?"  Jigen nodded quickly.  "Oh."  He pulled it out of his pocket and put it back on, feeling the magic take hold.  "I guess it's better that way anyway."

"We wouldn't care one way or the other, neither would the kids. You're hiding them from the casual observer and things.  Plus you do have helpful relations with some nature spirits and things so the necklace makes sure you won't hurt them."

"I do?"

"You do," Jigen agreed.  "The Kitsune in particular."

"You rang?" a bored voice said from behind Jigen.

Jigen glanced back.  "Hey.  Lupin apologizes.  He was frantic."  He shifted again.  "Xander, this is your trouble buddy."

"Wow," Xander said, staring at the fox spirit.  "You're kinda neat."

"Thank you," he said with a grin.  He looked his friend over, touching him on the hand.  "It will wear off.  He's already getting some leakage and the chemicals will wear off.  To get there faster you might want to have him detox or whatever, but it will end shortly.  As for the black, expect it to slide off soon.  Dyes never stay in that sort of hair."  He shrugged, grinning at Xander again.  "Then you can be yourself and pounce Arsene again."

"My daughter?"

"Is Lupin the Fourth; you're the self-proclaimed and acknowledged love monkey of Lupin the Third," Jigen said dryly.

"Though, Lupin the Fourth did say that if you were too young for her father, she wouldn't mind taking you in as her boyfriend," the kitsune offered.

Xander shuddered.  "Eww!  I changed her diapers, probably."

"Oh, many more times than her father did," the kitsune lord agreed.   "They called you the mommy because you did so much of the child care, even with a nanny."

"But why did they do this to me?"

"Because," the kitsune lord sighed.  "You're very special Xander.  You've trained very hard to get to be very good.  They thought it was a genetic advantage so they wanted you to pass that onto your children.  Come."  He backed away and Xander got up to follow him.  "I'm going to do something shocking."  Xander nodded.  The fox spirit rushed him with a perfect throat strike.  Xander blocked it automatically, then stared at his hand in shock.  "That's part of the reason.  Also how you've killed so many demons in the past.  Plus your inexhaustible supply of other personalities from anime and comics."  He shrugged. "It helps in the life."  He walked Xander back to the table.  "You may be Jigen's apprentice, but you are a student of all of them and Goemon adores you because you frustrate him to no end by learning things off anime and hiding it from him."  He patted him on the hand even as he looked over at Jigen.  "We understand a panicking lover, but he nearly killed someone on the other side of the portal and we can't allow that.  He should think of us as Gods to worship, not other thieves to boss around. He wouldn't do that in a holy place, would he?"

"Janus talks to him all the time from someone's statue," Jigen said with a shrug.  "He never seems to pray."

The kitsune muttered something about interfering Gods under his breath, making Xander laugh.  "Exactly.  Janus is the most interfering God in the universe.  Because of him you change genders and had children.  I'm supposing he likes the kids?"

"Arsene's a devout worshiper."

"That explains a lot," the kitsune noted dryly.  He rolled his eyes then looked at Xander again.  "You have an 'I'll pray if you leave me alone' deal going with him the last I knew."  Xander was staring at him, mouth open, not moving.  "Oh, dear, I just broke through some of them," he said with a wicked grin.  "Have fun, Jigen."

"Hey!" Jigen complained as he was left alone to deal with this.  Xander stared at him and whimpered.  "They weren't planned."

"They couldn't have been!"  He stood up, mouth still open, hurt look on his face. "I'm really the mother to some of them?"

"All but Arsene, Sierra, and Goemon's kids," Jigen said quietly.  "You've taken them in and become their mother, Xan, and they all love you because of it.  Sit."  Xander flopped back down, letting out another sub-vocal whimper.  "You're hardly ever in the choker anymore and you refuse to have sex in it.  That's stopped that problem cold, Xan.  It won't happen again."

"It had better not!"  Xander sat up suddenly.  "When did I miscarry?"

"You haven't."

"I have. I just saw it."

"Nope."   Jigen shook his head. "Not that we know of anyway."  He shrugged.  "Sometimes you go off on your own but you've never said that you did.  You keep a diary upstairs and there is the Chronicle you were working on.  Marcus has it at the moment to check for accuracy and spelling mistakes.  You might want to read that."

Xander nodded, standing up again.  "Thanks, Jigen."

"Welcome, kid.  We still love you, even though you are stubborn, won't bottom for us, and get cranky with us for suggesting it.  I have no idea how Lupin's gonna wait until you're eighteen again."

Xander looked at him.  "Both of you?" Jigen nodded.  "Oh.  Wow.  I guess anyway."  He shrugged and headed inside shaking his head.  His life was odd, really, really odd.  Not even Oz could say his life was normal and not remark on it.  He'd have to find him to make sure he survived Sunnydale.  He found his daughter on the stairs.  "Why are you up?"

"Making a bottle," Lotus said with a yawn.  "Night, Uncle Xander."  She walked past him into the kitchen to grab the spare can of formula.  They had run out upstairs.

Jigen came in and took it from her, carrying her back up the stairs, then coming back down to fix a few of them for the night.  Three kids needing them would be more than enough.  "Maybe he's still lactating?" he muttered.

Xander snuck into his daughter's room, plucking her statue off her dresser and taking it back to his room.  He put it on his desk and stared at it.  "Okay, so I guess I do like you somewhat.  I'm also guessing that I'm your doing?"  The statue's heads shook.  "Wow, you can move."

"And speak," the frowning head noted, looking at him.  "Only to those we like."

"And you like me," he said flatly.

"We protect you now," the other head told him.  It grinned up at him, then leered.  "You are quite something else, young man.  We adore all your innate qualities, including the ones that draw trouble and how well you wear out certain houses of pleasure."

"I do?"

"Yes," the heads said in unison.

"Huh."  He grimaced, then shook his head to clear it.  "Can you undo some of this?  I know it's not fully magic, but I don't like not knowing myself.  I feel like an imposter and I know I'm going to have a panic attack or something when I go down to do targets, however we do them here."

"Hmm.  We might," the frowning head offered.

"For a fee of course."

Xander nodded with a sigh coming out.  "Of course.  What sort?"

"That you do climb into bed with Arsene.  The older one," the smiling head assured him.  "Our beloved future has quite a few shocks in store for her but you are not one.  No matter what she thinks."

Xander shrugged.  "If I'm a slut, why would I have a problem with having him?"

"Your age?" the frowning head suggested.

"Won't that get him into trouble?"

"Well, it could, but it will shake the memories free faster," the smiling head offered.  "He can do things to you that make you want to rip out scar tissue and die in his arms.  Have him do something like that and...."   Lupin walked in and picked up the heads, then tossed it out the window.  "Hey!" it shouted as it flew off.

Lupin gave Xander a hug. "I'd never presume, Xan.  You're very young and I don't want to hurt you."

"But if it helps...."

"It might, but you're underaged and Pops will be getting us for that."  He kissed him on the top of the head.  "Even if you jump me, we'd both be in trouble for it because he will know.  He always does."  He gave him a long hug, then slowly let him go.  "We'll figure out how to get you to the age of eighteen."

"Easy, you move to a country where the minimum age is lower and where you won't get killed for being with a man," Goemon said from the doorway.  "Where is my son?"

"Jigen sent him to bed," Xander said with a shrug.  "Where would he normally be?"

"In the gym," Goemon said quietly, glancing behind him.  "I heard him muttering.  What did Jigen do or say this time?"

"Jigen said if he didn't go back to bed, he'd tie him to his bed and make the girls take care of him.  Ishi said something about only if he wanted him to break his control with them or something and Jigen got this horrified look in his eyes.  Something about an Ishi and Arsene baby."

Lupin and Goemon looked at each other, then shuddered and shook their heads.  "We'd stop that one," Lupin promised, giving Xander a pat on the back.

"Jigen shuddered too," Xander said with a grin, feeling comfortable for the first time since he had been rescued.  "Jigen explained some stuff to me and the kitsune came to talk to me for a bit.  He said you should worship him, Lupin."

Lupin gave him a long look.  "In some ways, I kinda do.  In some ways, I really don't.  Having a tail, or more than one, would make me look funny."  He smirked at Xander's laugh and Goemon's long look at his backside.  "Don't you think?"

"I think you need drugs.  I've thought so now for years.  I'm simply more sure now," Goemon assured him.  His son let out a loud wail so he headed down to get him before he could wake up Bix or Marcus.  "Hush, son, I am coming," he called.  His son broke out into sniffling as soon as he heard that.  He was loved.  He walked in and grabbed his son to look at him, and his nose wrinkled.  "Eww, son," he said dryly, taking him to change him before the smelly stuff could mutate.

Lupin looked at Xander.  "It's not a bad idea.  You like traveling."

"I do," Xander agreed.  "I've always wanted to do some."

"Well, we do.  Before the kids we did at least eight countries a year, but mostly in Europe and Japan."

"Hmm."  Xander gave him a hesitant kiss, then leaned more weight into Lupin's body, letting himself get deeper into it.  "Okay, so I like guys," he said as he pulled back, with his eyes still closed.  He opened them at the warm chuckle, launching himself back at the hard, thin body, glueing himself to Lupin's lips again. "More?" he moaned.

Lupin did the hardest thing in his life.  He pulled back.  "Xan, if I try, you'll only get in trouble.  Dawn will turn you in."

"Who's Dawn?"

"Buffy's little sister."

"She has a sister?"

"Long story," he promised, giving him a hug.  "I want, but I can't, not yet.  I respect you, Xan."  Xander sniffled and squeezed him.  "Ow.  You're really strong."  He kissed him on the cheek.  "Sleep."

"I got up because I had nightmares."

"Then I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."  Lupin laid down beside him, on top of the covers because he wasn't a saint, didn't have Goemon's control, or even Jigen's control, and he knew that Xander wouldn't stop him.  He wouldn't ruin his relationship with Xander for a quick blow off.  He wouldn't.  Not if he could help it anyway.  He stroked the dark hair, watching as the younger man slept.  Once he heard the first content snore he slipped from the bed and went to pounce Jigen.  Someone had to take care of this hardon before he died from it.  It was already sucking all the blood from his brain; otherwise he wouldn't be considering Goemon's suggestion to move somewhere else for a bit.  "Ishi and Arsene?"

"He suggested it," Jigen said with a shrug, putting down his book.  "What's wrong?"

"I just got kissed," he admitted, strolling in and kissing Jigen as hard as he could.

"So I can see.  I'm still not your bitch, Lupin."

"Jigen, unless we take Goemon up on his suggestion to move to a lower age-limit country that doesn't have a 'death on sight to gays' policy, we're both fucked if we don't help each other out.  Besides, who always has your back, buddy?" he asked with a grin as he slid down next to his friend.  "Who's your best friend ever?"


"Yeah, but I was first," Lupin pouted.  "I thought I let you know I still wanted to be there."

"You are," Jigen promised, patting him on the arm.  "I'm still not sleeping with you."

"Not even a quick blow?" Jigen gave him an odd look from beneath his nightcap.  "I'd reciprocate."

"Yes, you would," Jigen said firmly.  "First."

"Hey, I'm good with that," Lupin promised, sliding down the harder body.

"Promise me you won't think about the kids, Fujiko, or Xander?" Jigen asked.

"Two of the three," Lupin promised with a grin.  "If I don't think about Xander, then I might have to blow too soon."  He moved the nightshirt out of his way and went to work on his bestest friend ever.  Jigen deserved this sort of attention.  "This should be holiday bonuses," he murmured.

"I want to see you convince Goemon of that one," Jigen said with a smirk down at him.

"Hey, if he'd take me up on it," Lupin said with a shrug.  He went back to what he had been doing, getting Jigen good and hard so he could get some of his own when he suddenly paused and moved them both into the classic 69 position.


Lupin strolled into his office the next morning, looking at everyone.  "Morning.  Are we having a meeting?"  Goemon shook his head, letting his son nap on his shoulder in place of his sword, which was with his first son.  "Then why are we crowded in my office?"

"Talking about Xander," Jigen admitted, sucking down another cigarette from a safe distance away from the tender baby lungs.  "So, boss, what're we gonna do about him?"

"Work on getting his memories back.  What did the kitsune say?"

"That it was chemical and that it was breaking down," Jigen offered.  "Janus?"

"To have a moment like when we popped the scar tissue," Lupin said as he settled himself behind his desk, putting his feet up.  "As an added note, Jigen gave me a suggestion last night for the holiday bonuses I give you guys.  We were thinking a good night of sex.  That okay with you guys?"

"I would have to decline," Goemon said firmly, glaring at him.  "Don't make me get my son to kill you."

Lupin smirked at him. "That's so cute, Daddy Goemon.  Is your son the big protector now?"

"No, but he has my sword," Goemon said bitterly.  "Or else you would already be dead."

Marcus fought his blush.  "I'm afraid that wouldn't work for me either, Lupin.  I'm afraid my lovers would get a bit peeved at me."

"You actually think the vampire will mind?" Jigen asked.

"I'm not sleeping with Ripper," Marcus snorted.  "Rupert, Ethan, and two others.  I know Ethan won't care but I'm afraid the other three probably would.  They can be quite...proper about such things."  He looked at Lupin again.  "How should we instigate him regaining his memories?"

Goemon looked at Marcus.  "Stringing people along like that is not honorable, Marcus," he scolded.  "I have taught you better than that."

"I'm not, they know about each other, but they all expressed an interest in not having any more added to the lists," Marcus assured him.  "I would never dream of hiding something like that.  When you do, you inevitably end up in the hospital.  Unless you're Lupin the Third, or possibly the Fourth."

"And the First," Lupin added for good measure.  "Grandad could string girls along like you wouldn't believe.  He's the reason we have all the hidden passages in the house."  He glanced at Jigen with a grin.  "Looks like it's just us and Xan who're getting bonuses this year," he decided happily.

"Only if you find a way for him to suddenly age two years," Jigen pointed out.  "We should get him some new IDs soon, Lupin.  He'll need 'em.  He can't go on his old ones.  There's no way he passes for thirty-one.  He barely passes for sixteen."

"We'll work on that once his hair's back to normal, and get his license renewed," Lupin agreed.  "Make sure he's got driving lessons scheduled as well.  Take Marc with you too.  He could use them."

"I do perfectly fine," Marcus complained.

"Goemon can out-walk your driving," Jigen snorted, finishing his cigarette.  "It finally broke," he announced. "Where are we heading?"

"The Caribbean?" Goemon suggested.

A very young kitsune appeared dragging his blanket and holding his teddy ...human, climbing into Lupin's lap to nap on him.  "Fank you," he said around his thumb.  He fell asleep on him, very comfortable under his blankie.

Lupin looked down at the kid, stunned beyond belief.  "Who put you up to this, little guy?"  The baby didn't answer him so he sighed and looked at the others, seeing the smirk. "Do not start," he warned.  "They like me because I'm such a great thief."

"It's probably because you smell like Xander," Jigen taunted.  He pushed the intercom button.  "Bix, come to the office?" he called.  He let it go and leaned back to watch Lupin.  Bix stuck her head in so Jigen pointed.  "He wandered in and curled up on him, thanking him quite politely."

"Well," she sighed, shaking her head.  "Young one?"  He batted at the nasty voice.  "Kori?"

"Twit!" he ordered imperiously.

"I remember Ishi doing that," Goemon said fondly, patting his youngest son on the back.

"Me too," Lupin agreed dryly.  "Can you take him?"  She shook her head.  "Why not?"

"Because he's got his claws in your shirt and if I try he'll claw you badly.  It'll upset him too badly if he hurts you, Lupin.  Sorry.  Goemon, want me to take him?"

"No, he's fine," Goemon assured her. "He's drooling on me at the moment and sucking on my shoulder."

"His thumb is probably what he needs."  She walked in and stuck the thumb into his mouth, making him one happy future samurai.  She walked over to look at the baby fox spirit.  "Kori?"

"Twit!" he ordered, batting at her again.  He snuggled in harder, his muzzle finding its way between the dress shirt's buttons.  "Mine!  No share!"

Bix smirked at Lupin, then shrugged.  "I don't want to hurt him, Lupin.  I'm sorry."  She jogged out, heading to grab Sarah, Alex, Kenji, and Fred.  "Come on, let's go outside," she said happily.  The toddlers all gathered around so she could lead them outside via the hidden portals.  There weren't any stairs on them so it was safer, and the slide was a lot of fun.

They sat there in silence, staring at the babies, until Lupin felt the most urgent call of nature he had felt since he had been a child.  "Crap," he muttered.  He nudged the baby gently.  "Hey, Kori, I have to get up.  Can you sit with Jigen until I get back?" he asked gently.

"Not love me?" the baby fox spirit sniffled, looking up at him with impossibly big eyes.

Lupin hugged him. "I do so love you, but I have to go to the bathroom and unlike the baby Goemon's holding, I don't wear diapers so I have to get up. Can you sit with him?"

"He not comfy, he skinny," the baby said firmly, giving him a slight frown.  "You comfy."

"I'm skinny too."

"You have comfy spots," the fox spirit insisted.  "Love you."

"I love you too, little guy."  He gave him a light hug.  "Why don't you talk to the new baby for a few minutes so I can go to the bathroom."  He stood up and put the baby, his blanket, and his friend next to Goemon.  "There, I'll be right back and then you can go back to hugging me."

"Okay," he said, watching him leave.  Then he looked at the baby.  "No mommy to do that?"  Goemon shook his head.  "Poor thing.  My mommy busy right now, but I loves her."  He gently stroked the baby's mostly bald head.  "He not furry."

"Most humans aren't," Goemon instructed.

The baby gave him a 'duh' look. "I know that.  I'm not that little," he pouted.

"We didn't think you were," Jigen explained.  "But we didn't know what sort of funny things you had been told by the bigger, mean kids."

"Oh."  Kori sucked his thumb, then went back to petting the baby with the wet hand.  "He little."

"He is, he's only a few days old," Goemon said gently.

"He should be in baby pouch then."  He stood up and scrunched up his face, then suddenly disappeared.  He came back a minute later with a big, furry mass, looking quite pleased with himself. "Here, he can borrow mine."  He helped the baby into the furry pouch, then helped Goemon into it.  "It feel like the mommy, even same color as mine."

"It's very pretty, thank you, Kori," Jigen praised, getting up to pat him on the back.  "You're a very good boy."

"Fank you," he said happily, hugging him around the stomach.  "Wow, you are comfy."

"Only sometimes, kid.  I can hear the other kids playing outside.  Wanna go play with them?"

"No fanks.  Me not want Lotus mad at me."

"She won't be," Goemon promised.  "She was only mad at a few of the adults but you have nothing to worry about from her.  She's usually quite nice."

He considered it before shaking his head.  "No fanks, me not want to play, me want cuddles."  He leaned against Goemon side.  "He not back yet?"

"I can hear him in the hall, he's telling Lotus something," Jigen offered.  He sat down closer.  "Want me to take him, Goemon?"  Goemon shook his head.  "I haven't gotten to."

"He's got my hair," he explained.

"Ah."  Jigen got up again to free his friend, taking the baby from him to hold.  His usual slouch made his chest just the most perfect baby resting place. "There, you nap there," he soothed, patting him on the back to keep him calm.  "Goemon, did you check on the bi...the mother?" he corrected quickly.

"She left last night," Goemon sighed, putting an arm around the baby fox's shoulders to pull him closer.  "She came to my room before I could go in to check on her.  She said she was going to Switzerland to cry on someone more sympathetic.  I tried to stop her but she had her heart set on taking off the baby weight the easy way."

"Sorry, man, I knew you had hopes," Jigen said quietly.  Goemon shrugged slightly then relaxed again.  "Man, did Lupin drink a few gallons of tea?"

"I hear Xander so he probably stopped to greet him," Goemon suggested with a small smirk.  Lupin walked in with Xander, and repossessed his lap buddy, sitting down with him in one of the more comfortable chairs next to Jigen.  "Good morning, Xander, did you spend the rest of the night better?"

"I still had odd dreams," Xander admitted, coming in to sit next to Lupin, looking down at the obvious baby.  "Hi," he said softly.  "Do I know you too?"  The baby shook his head solemnly.  "Then I'm Xander.  What's your name?" he asked with a small grin. "You look pretty neat."

"I'm Kori," he said quietly, slowly shifting over until Lupin handed him over.  "No want me?"

"I think Xander wanted a hug from you too, then you can come back if you don't like him," Lupin promised, grinning at him.

Xander hugged the baby and from the look on his face more memories were coming free.  "I did this a lot, huh?" he asked quietly, settling in with the baby.

"Yup, sure did," Jigen agreed.  "That's why all the kids called you the mommy."

Goemon looked at him.  "You were the most caring step-parent to all our children, Xander, they would be much worse if not for you."

"Wow."  Xander looked down at the sleepy baby.  "I think he's got a small fever.  Unless they're supposed to be that warm?"

"No, I don't think so," Lupin admitted, testing the edge of an ear.  A small paw batted at his hand.  "It's this or the thermometer that goes up the butt, kiddo."  He looked at Jigen.  "Warm ears."

"Hey, Lotus?" Jigen called.  She opened the door, with Arsene right behind her.  "We need the kitsune, could you tell Bix to call them?  Kori has a fever."

She walked in and tested the side of the baby's muzzle, then gave him a light kiss on the head.  "I can do that," she promised.  She went to call them herself, tuning in the mirror the Lord of the Kitsune had given her.  "Hey," she told the guard.  "We've got another escapee down here and he's got a small fever.  It's worrying Xander and Lupin sick," she said quietly.

"Do you know his name?"

"Jigen called him Kori."

"Ah, we were wondering."

"Is it contagious?" she asked.  "We do have infants.  My baby brother was finally born."

"No, it shouldn't be.  He's got sleeping fever."

"He was all-but asleep," she agreed.  "Cool compress?"

"That should be fine.  Just let him sleep for right now.  It's part of growing up for us," the guard advised.  "I'll tell the healers."  The mirror went dark and he went to the main hall, interrupting the screaming people.  "One of the escapees has sleeping sickness, Lord?"  He waved a hand, nodding grandly.  "He's on Lupin's lap using him as a pillow.  Lotus said he's running a small fever.  Lotus said that she's getting him a cool compress and that her baby brother was finally born."

"Excellent," he agreed.  "Anything else?"

"So far no one's reported the other one, but I do still suggest we look at that Ethan person's house.  He is close enough to the envoy to have his taint all over that place."

"Good point.  I'll go personally.  It'll save me from the complaining."  He stood up to the shocked looks.  "Next time, don't wake me up to do something that you could have done," he scolded.  "Even I get to sleep in some mornings."  He strolled off, going to gather a healer and send him to Lupin's house before going to Ethan's.  He found the missing ones curled up in the prayer room on the pillows.  "Such naughty kits," he cooed, picking them up and taking them back.  The last one resisted so he took him alone, teleporting him back to the infirmary since he was so warm.  "Here, they were on the mortal plane."

"The mortal plane?  With sleeping sickness?  What's next, we'll find out it's transmuted to humans?  Or demons?"

"Could Xander get it?" the head kitsune asked worriedly.  "He's in a bit of a delicate position right now."

"No," the healer said, frowning at him.  "It is not catchable by any other species but ours, Lord."

"Oh, that's good.  Because Xander is in bad shape."  He shrugged and went back to his throne room, finding everyone gone.  "Good!" he said happily.  "I can go back to sleep!"  He skipped off back to his bedroom, stripping as he walked through the doorway and heading back to his warm bed partner and the sheets they had been keeping warm for him.


The healer walked into the study, frowning at the baby.  "Poor thing," he soothed, moving the cool compress to test the baby's fur.  "Yes, you are a bit warm but nothing critical.   Someone was quite worried about you."  He looked at Jigen, noticing what the baby was lying in.  "I remember that pouch, she was quite proud of it."

"He got it for the baby," Jigen offered.

"I'm not surprised, Kori is a loving little kit."  He looked at the baby again, then at the person holding him. "What the hell happened to you!" he snapped.  "Who did that?  You let someone hurt him like that?" he demanded of Lupin.

"No," Lupin said bitterly.  "They took him and did it.  There was no 'let' involved, thank you.  We want the old Xander back as much as you do.  Especially if he was just a few years older."

"I'm sorry they deaged me so much but it's not my fault," Xander said defensively.  He gave the baby a squeeze.

"We know that," Lupin soothed, stroking his arm.  "If you had asked for this, I would have kicked your ass, but we know you didn't ask for this, Xan.  We just want you better.  The age thing will be cured fast enough and we'll deal until then.  Even if I do have blue balls for the next two years."  He saw the healer's confused look.  "He's presently sixteen, two years under the age of consent in most of the world."

"Except in Iran, where girls can be married at eight and boys at thirteen," Jigen reminded him.

"Yeah, except for there and some other places," Lupin agreed.  He looked at the doorway, then at Jigen.  "That's a punishment."

"It is," Jigen agreed.  "Political marriages are a great one."

The healer rolled his eyes.  "She does it to get attention, gentlemen, give her some.  Hug her each and every time she does it and then give her a time-out."  He picked up the baby.  "Come, Xander, now."

"Yes, sir," he sighed, following him back to the portal.  He was pushed through and followed the gentle shoves to his back, shrugging at the curious foxes staring at them.  "He said so.  I can't fight him, you know that."

"Father's asleep, can I take a message?" the Lord's elder son asked dryly, staring at them.  "You, meek?"

"Only with him, he pinches," Xander defended. "Plus he took the baby from me."

"Here," the healer said, handing the baby back to him.  "The baby has sleeping sickness and Xander is quite ill due to some chemicals that were pumped into his body against his will.  I'm bringing him back to detoxify him.  Do you think your father will mind?"

"Wake me again and I'll cut off your head," the Lord called sourly, the magic making his voice appear all over the castle while he was still snuggled up to the warm chest.

"Yes, sir," the healer said with a grin for the son.  "That's fine, correct?"

"Sure, why not.  Go get the rest of them too.  All but Lupin."

"He'll pout," Xander warned.

"He may, but he's only allowed up here if he's gotten special dispensation and I can't give it.  As you heard, my father is quite the grouch right now.  His man is not happy."  He twiddled his fingers then walked away.  "Have fun being a pillow."

"Sure, I like kids apparently," Xander agreed, following the healer.  He stopped to look at the other babies.  "Oooh, what's wrong?" he cooed, patting one that was staring at the ceiling.  "Can't you sleep?  Does the mean old doctor need to read you a bedtime story?"

"We can let the nannies do that," one healer said, staring at him. "Humans, again?"

"The Envoy Xander has been poisoned by someone," his healer said, taking Xander back to his private work space. "Ignore him, he's a pain," he muttered as he sat the duo on his work table, taking the baby to lay with the others.  "Here, this one has a small fever and is at the sleeping stage now."  He went back to Xander's side, forcing him to lie down, then knocking him out.  This was hard on a body but it would need to be done.  One of his coworkers came in, giving him an odd look.  "The Lord was correct, the memory suppression is chemical and it is wearing off, and if it wears off wrong then he'll try to run and Lupin will get pissed and come after us again because he thinks we'll be aiding him," he explained.

"Oh.  I was wondering if you needed the blue mix or the green one."

"The nasty yellow one actually.  He'll need a full cellular level detox, and then we've got to look at someone for his aging problems.  Somehow they managed to deage him to sixteen."

"Ow.  Poor lovers."  She went to the medicine cabinet to retrieve the potion for him, bringing it back.  "Here you go.  Have fun with him.  That's all there was in the cabinet so someone will have to brew some more."

"Then I'll need to send the list to someone down there," he said thoughtfully.  "Can you send in a messenger?"

"Of course."  She wandered off to do that, getting one of the guards just in case.  The mortal realm was dangerous after all.  "The human healer needs a messenger," she told her personal favorite.  "I believe you'll be heading down to a chaos sorcerer's house."

"Oh, no, what this time?" he moaned, heading to get sucked into the new message.  "Yes, sir?" he asked as he walked in.  "Is the envoy all right?"

"Someone poisoned his brain with chemicals to erase his memories and alter his personality.  We're detoxing him.  Take that yellow potion in the small vial, the one I poured out, and the card under it, to Ethan Rayne and tell him he's making the potion for Xander please."

"Of course, sir.  I'll be back."

"Don't worry about it until the potion is done, he has a few hours our time."

"Yes, Lord."  He took everything, disappearing to the portals, then taking one down to England. They didn't upset the fairies but putting a portal anywhere near Stonehenge, but Xander was nice enough to give them permission to put one at his houses.  He heard a fearful squeak and grinned at the woman standing there in the maid's costume.  "Don't worry, it's a portal to come and go.  I won't be back for days," he soothed.  He disappeared again, going invisible so he could rush across the countryside.  He stepped into the kitchen and looked around.

Rupert was reading at the table and he knew without looking up what was in the doorway.  "He's still in bed."

"We need him to brew a potion for Xander," the fox spirit said as he became visible.  "It's to help clear the chemicals out of his mind."

Rupert looked up.  "Your kind have a cure for that?"

"The healer is removing all foreign chemicals from his body."

Rupert nodded once and got up to get a soda from the fridge, handing it over.  "You'll need that as soon as it's done.  Trust me," he assured at the confused look.  "Ethan!  Visitor!" he yelled, going back to his book.  "That's enough warning, go get him up if you want."

"Thank you."  He trotted up the stairs, finding the chaos sorcerer mumbling into the damp pillow beside his head.  He put everything down and smirked, then decided to act like a kit.  He pounced, making the human shriek and jump up to get away from him.  "Good, you're up," he said, flipping back his forelock.  "The healer needs you to brew something for Xander.  I have a sample of the detoxification formula and the formula itself.  Did you need anything else?" he asked, sounding quite professional.

Ethan blinked at the smug, four-foot tall bastard.  "Are you Arsene?" he asked finally.

The kitsune guard cracked up.  "No, she's not one of us, but she does many of us proud.  Said if her father didn't want Xander she'd take him."

Ethan shuddered.  "Eww!"  He shook his head quickly.  "You brought a soda?"

"Your bodyslave gave it to me, he thought I'd need it to give to the Envoy.  Can you or can you not brew this?"

"Of course I bloody well can," he said, snatching the formula and vial from his hands.  He stepped off the bed so he could go down to his workarea.  "What does this do?"

"It's drunk and then takes all foreign chemicals out of your body."

Ethan paused to look at him. "Take the soda to Xander," he advised calmly.  "Feed it to him as soon as he wakes up.  Otherwise you may have *hours* of him being hyper."  He continued on, pulling down his favorite cauldron since it was clean.  "Is it corrosive or will it react to pewter?"  The guard gave him a clueless look.  "Fine, can you open some sort of speaking system?  Since I doubt I can call you lot on the phone."

"Oh, yeah, sure," he agreed, changing the mirror on the wall to the one in the main throneroom, where all of them had to start.  "He's brewing for a healer and needs to be transferred to them."

"Fine," the other guard sighed, transferring him over.  "Stupid humans."

"Lotus should be coming soon," the guard on the mortal realm said with a smirk.  He loved that little girl, she was so cute.


"What is wrong this time!" the guard commander demanded.

"The guard sent as a messenger said that Lotus was coming back up," he said miserably.  "Permission to be used as an archery target instead, sir?"

"Denied," he snapped.  "Do your job and shut your muzzle."  He looked at the other one, who saluted.  "Where are you?"

"Doing messenger duty for the healers," Ethan said calmly.  "We really do need to talk to one of them before I can start this.  It will depend on what I brew this in."  The portal was changed over.  "Your superior?"

"Over training.  That one was nearly eaten by Lotus the last time.  Her tree did not like him."  He waved at the healer, then at Ethan.  "He had questions."

"I need to know if pewter is an acceptable substance to brew in or should it be pure silver?"

"It's not truly corrosive expect to human bodies," he admitted.  "Then it eats anything that is unnatural."

"So probably silver would be better if aluminum wasn't better yet," Ethan muttered, putting up his favorite one for his third-favorite cauldron.  "I can do that.  How much?"

"Please double that if it's no trouble, Sorcerer Rayne.  We like to keep some in store and we'll need a second dose for Xander in approximately three days your time."

"Lupin let him go that long?"

"He's been brought up because he pounced the guard and made him," he said dryly.  "He and the children are all here at the moment, with Bix keeping the others in line."  He smirked at the guard.  "Feel thankful, the one who took your spot on the line is their official guide."  The kitsune shuddered so the healer winked.  "Thank you for running that errand for me."

"Oh, no, thank you, sir," he said earnestly.  "I love Lotus, but Arsene is not one I want to tangle with again.  Last time I did, she plucked some fur from my tail."  He glanced at Ethan, then at the healer again.  "He accused me of being her," he said happily.  "I'll leave this tuned."  He muted the picture, turning it gray, and watched as Ethan chopped.

"Go do something meaningful to yourself," Ethan said, making a shooing motion with one hand.  "I can't work with people staring at me."

"Fine, sorcerer.  Thank you for doing this chore for us."

"It's bad enough Janus decided to help the aging thing," he muttered. "I didn't get to help at all."

"Are you sure it was all him?"  The kitsune decided to check out something it had heard about from the children.  "Tele," he said, staring at the box.  "How do you work?"  He looked around and then zapped it with a bit of magic, turning it on.  He sat down to stare at it, turning his head to the side.  "Why would you watch that?  It's supposed to be personal."

Rupert walked in.  "Ah, you unblocked the porn station."  He found the remote and handed it over.  "Change channels with that."  He walked away shaking his head.  "Ethan, he did what you've been trying to do."

"Thank him for me and tape the next one please," Ethan called back.

"Do I sound like the slutty little vampire bastard you fuck on occasion?" Rupert snorted.  "Put in a tape yourself."

Ethan looked at the knife in his hand, then at the doorway, eyes narrowed.  He looked at the statue he kept in there, but the heads were shaking.  "Please?" he hissed.  "Just one non-killing one?"

The frowning face looked at him.  "Then we'd lose him."

"Not if I tied him down and fucked him senseless afterwards, pointing out that he was driving me insane."

"Fine," the smiling head sighed.  "One non-fatal one.  That is all."

"Of course, thank you, Lord."  He bowed deeply.  "Let me go correct your lesser priest before I truly do slip my mental fetters."  He stalked Rupert and took the knife, grabbing him to pull back against his chest.  "Keep it up," he growled.  "I do have permission to teach you however I see fit, Rupert.  You will become a proper sacrifice to Janus while tied to my altar, on your back, with your bloody hole screamingly open and begging for mercy and future pleasure."  He made a little slice on the bottom of the other man's chin.  "Our blood does please the Lord and my future insanity will make you the high priest."  He stomped off, going to give the knife at the altar.  "Thank you, Lord Janus.  If I may do it again, just instruct me so," he said flippantly.  "I needed that release."  He went back to his potion making.  He was quite good at it after all.

In the kitchen, Rupert was holding a papertowel to his chin, staring at the wall in horror.  "What have I gotten myself into?" he muttered. "Why am I here?"

Marcus appeared and pounced Rupert, clapping the ancient manacles around his wrist.  "You are here to please the high priest, the same as I am," he purred in his ear.  "Now you shall."  He drug him into the altar room, chaining him beside it.  "Thank you for the summons, Lord Janus.  May I pleasure him for your viewing pleasure?"

"Marcus!" Rupert said in shock.  "He can't hear you."

Janus' heads looked at Rupert, then at Marcus.  "Please, but turn him a bit this way so we can see him do it better," he requested, then the smiling head smirked at Rupert for good measure.  "So sure we're not real?"

Rupert whimpered, going limp in his bonds.  "You speak!"

"He does to Arsene as well," Marcus said proudly.  "Xander and I have given him a new priestess for his future pleasures."  He cut the clothes off Rupert's body, tossing them carelessly into the hallway, then he stripped himself.  "How best should I pleasure you, Lord?"

"Oh, just go for it however," the smiling head said.

The frowning head looked at them.  "Put him across the altar, young one.  That way we can have a good view of how our lesser priest gives us offerings from his body for our pleasure."  Marcus carefully cleaned off the altar, spreading a new layer of herbs on it before slamming Rupert onto it face down and mounting him with a feral growl.  "Hmm, I like that," the head said, starting to look a bit more pleased.

"I can't see, move," the other head complained.

Marcus lifted up the statue and put it on the back of Rupert's shoulders, letting the heads face him if they both turned to look.  "How's that, Lord?"

"Quite nice," the smiling head admitted.  "Harder, my young stud."  Marcus sped up, making Rupert howl and grip the altar as his pleasure flowed out of him.   "Already done?  Where is the famous stamina you used to show?" that head said sadly.

"I'm nowhere near ready to let him go, Lord.  Perhaps your High Priest should allow himself a short break for your pleasure as well?" he asked as he continued to work himself inside the limp body.  "Remember, Rupert, we are all here at the whim and pleasure of Lord Janus.  Were there some way we could get him out of that statue for a bit, I'm sure he would love for us to worship him fully.  I hear Lord Priapus has nothing on him."

Rupert moaned and grabbed on, staying still.  He knew Ethan and Marcus would both chastise him if he let the statue fall off his body.  It wasn't like he minded this, but Ethan was still going to pay later.  Marcus always gave him good ideas for pissing off his lover.

The kitsune guard walked in and bowed to the statue.  "Lord Chaos, many greetings from my own Lord and Master.  May I serve you in any way while I am waiting on the potion for the Envoy?"

Janus smirked at him.  "If you so wish," the smiling head said smugly.  "Rupert won't mind, he likes such things."

"Lord," Rupert pleaded.

Marcus patted him on the back.  "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be quite gentle.  The kistune are not beastly creatures after all."  He finished and slumped for a moment before pulling out and going to lie on the pile of pillows, waving a hand at the used body.  "Have at him for Janus' pleasure," he offered.  "He has offered his body and soul up to the Lord and this is how he chooses to have him pay his prayers."

The kitsune stripped and stepped up, sliding inside the warm body.  "Hmm, lack of fur is odd," he noted, going as fast as his lithe, strong hips could.  Rupert was moaning and groaning around him, clamping him as hard as he could.  "Would that I could please him in your name, Lord Janus, I would do so.  How should I do him?"

"No, you're doing just fine," he said happily, winking at him from the frowning head.  "My poor little priest is quite the servant.  I should test this sometime, when he has doubts of my patronage and pleasure in his life."  Rupert whimpered but he clamped harder around the invader, making the kitsune speed up.  "Good boy, Rupert.  You please me with your service today.  I wish I could have you myself, but my people will do for now.  Perhaps tonight while you sleep Morpheus will help me be with you myself."

Rupert whimpered and wiggled but the kitsune was quite skillful and he knew just what he needed to get off, and kept him from doing so. "Please," he croaked. "I want to offer an offering for my Lord and Master."

"Good pet," Ethan said as he walked in, already naked.  The kistune gave him an awed look.  "Engorgement charm.  Rupert hates it when I enhance myself."  The kitsune got out of his way and Ethan slid inside, making Rupert howl.  "Yes, that is more pleasurable for our Lord," he said smugly, going as hard as he dared.  The top of the altar wasn't hitched down at the moment and he didn't want his statue to fall off in the violence of their mating.  Janus laughed and cheered him on, liking this quite a lot.  Rupert was enjoying it as well, you could tell by his body being so loose and how he was begging and pleading for more.  So Ethan expanded himself some more and Rupert moaned, trying hard to get more into him.


Arsene was drug into the throne room by one of the guards, who handed the succubus envoy the pretty diamond chain that he had woven in his hair the night before.  "What?" she defended.

"You got caught?" the Lord asked, looking down at her.


The guard scowled at his boss, then at the little girl.  "We had heard the envoy wondering where it was so we searched the first logical place, sire."

"Which is totally illegal.  There are certain legal procedures that must be followed before a legal search is performed, including a search warrant," Arsene defended, crossing her arms.  The guard's fur started to stand on end so she subtly shifted away from him while the head of the kitsune laughed. "Don't you have legal search procedures?"

"Yes, we do," he agreed between guffaws.  "You should see your face," he told the guard.

"Sire!  She is a danger to our way of life!" he shouted, pointing at the little girl.  "We should not put up with this.  She should be put in our cells!"

"That may be, but she is the one who is teaching our young their traditional lessons in how to be a thief, she and her father," the Lord said, calming himself.  "Thank you, I needed that laugh, Arsene.  It really is not polite to steal from your hosts, unless you enter their homes under false pretenses, and that takes from your honor, dear.  Now, why did you do that?"

"I was showing my class," she sniffed.  She glanced at the demonic envoy then back at him.  "A few of them are quite good at it, but a few have no idea what 'sneak silently' means yet."

"That's fine.  Give back everything you've stolen, young lady.  I know you have one of my silver combs and that was a diplomatic gift."

"Sure, he's already confiscated that," she said, flicking her fingers at the guard.  "Can I go back to my class?  They're doing pretty good considering how young they are."

"Go," he said tolerantly.  He looked at the guard and sighed.  "We do not have anyone who can teach the traditional lessons on how to steal and loot, Orinii.  We must allow those who are best at it to do their lessons and that family is the best.  Plus, our young and the younger of us who still do work will have to work with them in the future.  They are the future of crime in the mortal realm.  Do you want us to be at odds with them?  Or would you rather weather the small inconveniences.  I'm sure the demonic envoy doesn't mind being the practice for the children's lessons?"  The succubus shook his head quickly, smothering his smile of pleasure.  The kids were quite wonderful.

"Besides, Orinii, I remember you when you were that age.  You needed a patient teacher to teach you how to sneak as well.  You had one and the next generation deserves the same.  They are very patient teachers and it does leave the future envoy in our possession for many lessons in how to be among us and not cause problems.  Plus," he added happily, "it means that most of us don't have to go hunting the kits who don't want to deal with us, they're all with Bix and Xander."  The guard scowled.  "Would you rather you teach those lessons?" he asked patiently.  The guard shook his head quickly. "Surely you can't protest their necessity?"  The guard shuddered.  "Then why begrudge them the best that there presently is.  They've helped their replacement get his fame and fortune started, plus we can teach the children more about honor.  Do learn to get along at least.  By the time you mate, we will have a fully human envoy all the time with Sarah.  You must get used to them.  Yu is not that bad either," he offered.  "He adores you."

"He does, but he is still human."

The Lord rolled his eyes.  "They're just unfurry Kitsune, Orinii.  Do get over it.  This speciest attitude is causing a rift.  You and the others will have to learn to get along.  Next year we have been offered the chance of a diplomatic visit from the Imperial Dragon.  Would you begrudge your people allies who would defend them to the death?  Because I do know that even Lupin the Third will do so because his mate will ask it of him and he will help his mate in all things.  He has stuck up for us in the past."

"Fine," the guard said bitterly. "I still believe that one of us should be doing that."

"One will," the incubus noted calmly.  "Once he is practiced enough to know all the tricks of the trade.  Give it ten years and he'll be teaching the young readily.  For now, there is nothing that can be done.  There are no kitsune with the experience of even little Alex and Fred."  He shrugged.  "Besides, they do liven things up around here.  I've seen some of the young kitsune following along as Goemon teaches his children, especially Ishi.  I've seen the arms masters going against Jigen and Xander now that he's regaining his memories.  The children will be formidable allies."  He smirked. "Besides, there is no inbreeding going on.  Your race is still pure, but not against outsiders coming in to learn from your magnificence.  The demonic court is much more stiff and formal with all the unwritten rules, but it's also bloodthirsty and annoying most of the time since I've learned what a real court is like."  He flinched as a touch of flame touched his skin.  "I believe my own Lord heard me.  Perhaps I should bring the Envoy down for his birthday present," he said darkly, glaring at the floor.  "Do quit now, thank you."  The fire stopped and he looked at the kitsune again.  "If I do leave, my student will be taking over."  He walked off, going to put his braiding rope away.  He walked through his doorway and found himself in hell.  "You called?" he asked the child on the throne.  "I am doing as I'm supposed to, being diplomatic."

The child waved the portal away.  "I take no offense.  There is a fine tradition of moving up by eating or killing your betters by ripping them to shreds," the Lord of Hell noted.  "They are a much calmer and more regal court.  What I have a problem with is that Lavelle is among them."  He leaned forward.  "Tell me what has happened," he ordered.

The incubus came forward, sitting at his feet.  "My Lord, a stupid human did take him prisoner after stealing the youth potion the Sorcerer Rayne was making for himself and Lavelle's mates.  They did use it on Lavelle, which made him sixteen for some reason, and then did addle his brains with chemicals to try and learn his secrets.  He came out not knowing he had children, who they were, or who his mates were.  They have been working on it but some fine details are still missing."

"And his marks?"

"Lord, he does not appear unclothed and uncloaked in front of me," the incubus pointed out gently.  "It would not be proper.  Though I have heard rumors that one maid did see one of them, but she was able to fight it off because he didn't want to hurt her and he actively fought the compulsion it placed on her mind.  He got her to the healers immediately and it saved her sanity and her ability to make decisions.  Otherwise, I fear he is as he was, but he is younger.  They all are, but the Envoy is much younger.  I believe the reason he was accepted up there was because the kitsune would have no problems if Lavelle's mates wanted to have relations with him, even though he may technically be underaged.  I know no other facts, Lord."

"Still, that was more than I had known," the Lord of Hell murmured, stroking the incubus on the cheek.  "You have done well, my servant.  How may I reward you?"

"May I have one as my own, Lord?" he pleaded. "I have found a student and he is worthy of the title, but I fear he needs a better trainer than I and I would adore having a secretary to chase around."

Satan smiled and patted him on the cheek again, letting his fingertips linger as he pulled them away. "I will allow such as long as you are gentle with them and you do not keep such good news from me in the future," he promised.  "Is the one who hurt him dead?"

"He is according to Lupin, Master."  He looked down at his lap, then back up at him. "Lupin claims the one known as Jigen did shoot him in the groin, just above his manhood, and then did let him bleed to death from the vein spurting out."  The Devil smirked and leaned back so the incubus leaned against his calf.  "I wish I could have seen him, Lord, but I have not.  Perhaps he is down here?"

"He is, and I had seen what he did to the boy.  Give Lupin the Third this message, servant.  Tell him that the problem Xander is having is partially because the man was trying to force himself on the boy to prove his own worth.  He did not want a gay man to succeed where he was lacking.  Also let him know that our deal stands."

"Yes, Lord, are there other messages?"

"No, slave.  Go."

"Yes, Master."  He stood up and kissed him on the forehead, then bowed and left.  He looked at his student as he reappeared.  "I have arranged for you to have advanced studies in sexual relations, they can answer all those questions you have about alternative sexual practices.  Go now."  The incubus-in-training bowed and hurried back through the portal.  A new demon walked through and bowed at his feet, forehead to his toes.  "Good. Are you my reward?"

"Yes, sire," he whispered.  "I am your reward."

"Up."  The servant stood and looked at his chest.  "In my eyes.  You may do so while I am in a pleasant mood.  You are to be my secretary and my assistant as well as my toy."  He tipped the human's face up to look into his eyes.  "Which had you?"  A word was whispered.  "Hmm.  He doesn't usually train."

"He was the one I got when I summoned," the boy whispered, licking his lips.  "I do appreciate the opportunity to move up in the hierarchy of consorts, Master.  How may I serve you?"

"First, you may make a neater mess of my desk and my appointment book.  Then I will test what that one has been teaching you."  The boy nodded and went to the desk to start on his first task.  "Naked, my pet.  In here you are to be unclothed so I may watch your body as you move."

The consort-wannabe took off his clothes and stood for his inspection.  "Do I measure up, Lord?"

The incubus looked at the long cock, then nodded.  "Even if you can't use it, I can teach you easily enough.  Get to work.  Remember, no coming unless I order it."

"Yes, Master."

"Good, pet."  He went to lie on the bed so he could pleasure himself while he watched his new pet.  He was quite handsome and very well built.  It would be an honor to finish his education using his own necessities as a guide.  After all, succuba had to have sex at least twice a day to stay healthy.  "Xander would have made a good one of us," he whispered, continuing to stroke himself.  He noticed his pet looking and smirked at him. "Do you like what you see?"   The young man nodded, licking his lips again.  "Then come pleasure me before going back to your task."  The boy walked over and dove onto him mouth-first to pleasure him until his new Master couldn't take any more.  "Good boy," he praised, patting the dark head.  "How old are you?"

"Twenty, Master.  Am I too old?"

"No, pet, not at all.  I do not appreciate those who are too young, as most of my kind don't.  You are just fine and more than what I needed.  Go back to the desk."  The new pet did so without a protest, knowing he would be punished.  He was already well on his way to perfect training.  He'd have to tell the trainer how well he had done with the human.


On the other side of the palace, Lupin the Third was sneaking into a room and locking the door tightly against his favorite child.  He might love his daughter but she was not stealing his man.  There were many thing he would share with her, but Xander was not on that list.  He paused to look at his love in the moonlight, smirking at the tight little body. His babe was a babe.  He snuck closer to the bed and leaned down to kiss him gently awake. It was only fitting for such a prince.


To Part 35
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