NC-17, Xander/Lupin (herm, m/m, and m/f)
Meet Lupin the... Fifth?
Ishi looked at the kitsune bouncing around his legs, patting him on the head to stop him from moving. "What's going on now? Another baby being born?"
"No, there's a convention!" he whined. "Can we go?"
"You'd have to ask your parents, the same as I would," Ishi pointed out gently. The young kitsune ran into the palace, only slowing down when he got near the official parts. Ishi went to find his father and his Uncle Xander, who still didn't remember everything, but most of it. "I was just told there's a convention coming up."
Goemon looked at his son, then nodded once. "You may go. Register yourself and your uncle."
"Yes, father. Thank you." He grinned. "Allowance?"
"Use my credit card," he sighed, turning to look at Xander, who was bouncing slightly, but he looked confused. "I still say Lupin's not trying hard enough if he can't cure the rest of it," he told him.
Xander shrugged. "It hasn't happened yet. We're talking costumes and things?"
Ishi smirked at him. "You have the most massive store of costumes of anyone ever met, Uncle Xander. You really do have to go."
"Sure," he agreed happily. "Will they mind the whole silver haired thing?"
"Of course not," Ishi sighed, pulling him along. He ran into Jigen in the hallway. "We're going to the next convention. He'll need his cards and Father said Uncle Lupin had to try harder to free the last few memories." Jigen gave him a long look, then took Xander from him and walked away. "What?"
"Quit taking language lessons from Arsene," Jigen called back. He pushed Xander into their suite, letting Lupin catch him. "There's a con."
"Really?" he asked smugly. "Then we should go."
"Goemon said Ishi could too," Xander assured him. "Am I going as someone?"
"Can I go?" Arsene shouted from her room.
"Only if you suddenly become a good little girl," Jigen called back. She walked out, pout already in place. "Like I thought, it's not possible."
"Bastard," she spat with a glare. "I've been good all week! My classes are doing wonderfully and I'm doing good in my classes on the other subjects too. I should be allowed a treat. Especially if Ishi's going or else all the girls will just mob him and hang all over him without someone to defend his panties and honor."
Lupin the Third looked at his heir then shook his head. "That's not convincing enough, daughter. Try again later." He looked at Xander and pulled him down into his lap with a light chuckle. "What should you go as this time?"
"I still don't remember all that stuff," Xander complained. "I'd feel phoney."
"You're not. You're a die-hard fan, Xander," Jigen assured him. "You've got so many costumes you're watched to see who you're coming as this time. I'm voting for one of the mice ones just in case someone notices his present age."
"If you think so," Xander said quietly, staring up at him. "Why does everyone think Lupin can work some miracle on the rest of my memories?"
"Because I've managed to remove scar tissue in the past with sex," Lupin whispered in his ear. "I've been trying but you haven't been in that special place in a while, Xan. Maybe it's because you're not female at the moment. That time you started out female and transferred over." He stroked the hard stomach, making his young lover moan. "Daughter, bedroom."
"Oh, please!" she sighed, stomping out of the suite. She looked at the guard coming her way. "Daddy and Daddy Xander are trying to finish unblocking his memory again so he can go to the convention. Interrupt, please."
The fox spirit blushed and his ear tips went up. "I probably shouldn't but I do have a message for them. Do you think they'd mind?"
"Nope. Dads, message!" Arsene called, strolling off. She'd get to go to that convention one way or another. She found the Lord of the Kitsune in his meditation garden and sat down next to him until he shoved her away. "There's a convention coming and I can't go."
"So take your class," he suggested.
"Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek and headed off, wiping off the shed fur that had stuck to her lips. She walked into her classroom and found a few of her students using it to study the books she had told them to read. "All right, we've got a small dilemma. There's a fandom convention coming and I want to go. My parents are complaining. That means that you guys all have to beg and plead them for me to take you, even if you don't want to go. You can always duck out at the last minute."
"So it's a subterfuge," the female between the three males said, smirking at her. "I like that."
"Thanks, your dad suggested it," she said with a shrug. "I'm stymied at the moment. I need a grand new theft."
"Can we watch you during the convention?" one of the boys asked. "If we're really careful?"
"Only if you work on your invisibility stuff. You still come out of it randomly and you need to have more control."
"Sure," he agreed happily. The students got together, discussing how to implement the study plans.
Arsene picked up her textbook and went back to her room to read ahead. Even she had found some things she didn't know, and the section on teasing a sleeping lover was really fascinating.
Lupin led his lover into the convention area and promptly lost sight of Ishi and his daughter, the little brat who had made it impossible for them to come alone. He sighed and went to the check-in desk. "Lupin, two rooms?" he asked. "One's a suite for two kids and *please* block the porn. My daughter will try to watch it otherwise."
The woman behind the counter looked from him to Xander and back. "And this child?"
"He's a legal adult, he just doesn't look like it," Lupin said impatiently. "Really, he is. Want to see his ID?" She shook her head and took his credit card to check them in. He took all the key cards and the credit card back. "Thanks." He walked Xander over to Misty's desk. "Hey. I finally found him and he didn't remember me."
"We heard," she said with a grin. He looked confused. "Jonas told us."
"Oh." He nodded. "As you can see, the chemicals also seemed to have deaged him too."
"I had noticed he was looking a bit...young. Is he legal?" Lupin scowled at her so she laughed. "Never mind. I'm sure you live somewhere where it's not a problem. I have your registrations here and Ishi and Arsene have already run past and snatched theirs. No costumes?"
"He's got two or three upstairs," Lupin admitted. "Including one of the mice and his school girl outfit." She gasped and he smirked. "Trade secret, but maybe it'll help." He shrugged and pinned Xander's badge to his chest. "Where is Paul and is everyone else in yet?"
"Teddy's not coming this time. He and his wife are having a divorce problem so he can't leave the area. She keeps trying to take off with his daughter, yet he can't bring her here to protect her and have some fun. The judge thinks we're obsessed too." Lupin snickered. "So he won't be here. As far as I know, Jonas and Paul have already hooked up and so have most of the others. I haven't seen Jerry yet, but I'm sure he's around somewhere. Ask Vicious, he'd know, he was chatting with someone who I thought was him earlier."
"Thanks, love. Consider us here, if not fully all there." He walked Xander inside and everyone they knew stared at them. "You mean you didn't hear about his memories? We're finishing the shakedown."
A man dressed as Vicious walked over and tipped Xander's face up. He checked behind his ears, then looked at Lupin. "Okay, I give. How? It's not makeup and it's not surgery."
"It was the chemicals that fucked his mind," Lupin said bitterly. "He's nearly fully back, but he doesn't seem to remember you guys and your poker games yet."
Vicious smirked. "Nice one. Come on, Xander, let me reintroduce you, I'm sure you can remember some of us." He walked him off, taking him to Jonas. "So I owe you ten Euros," he said with a shrug.
Jonas hugged Xander as hard as he could. "From Rupert, not the vampire Ripper. He wanted me to spank you for making Rupert worry." He grinned. "Still not remembering everything?"
"It's like some fuzzy shadow most of the time. Sometimes I get some pictures and others I don't. Arsene!" Both of them looked at him. "Do not do that to him! You don't know where he's been!"
"Dad, this is Uncle Ray," she said patiently. "I know where he's been, he's been with Great-Gramps Zenigata."
"That's my girl," Lupin said proudly as he came over to pat Ray on the back. "Why didn't you catch her?" Ray looked up from his comic and blinked a few times. "Never mind, Ray."
"Hey, you're back. Zenny's been goin' nuts looking for you guys. Where have you been?"
"With the ...." Little Arsene started.
"With some friends who have been helping with Xander's memories," Lupin said, kicking her on the ankle. "We're back for a bit then we're going back into hiding since Pops is so worried about Xan's apparent age."
"Oh, no, he thinks he can rehabilitate him now into a good guy," he said smugly. "Hey, Xan?" Xander looked at him and grinned, so he might remember him somewhat. "Do you wanna go to the police academy with me next month? Zenny, Dawn, and I all think it'd be great for you."
"Touch him and I'm capping you myself," Little Lupin growled. "My man!"
Her father looked down at her. "I thought you had given up on that delusion, daughter. He's *mine*. Not yours, not Jigen's. Mine. All mine." Ray cackled. "She decided to freak everyone out by saying that since Xander looked so young I could give him up and give him to her."
Ray shuddered. "Eww! Arsene!"
"Ray, comic," the dealer said gently. "Please don't wrinkle it." He paid for it and took another copy too to keep in mint condition. "Thanks." She smiled at Arsene. "Think about sharing a boyfriend with your family, dear. It's particularly nasty."
"I'd share with Melissa and Ishi if we had similar tastes, but Lotus wants someone nice, soft, gentle, and sweet, like Auntie Bix does." She skipped on to look at the other things.
"We ran out of her drugs," Lupin shared lightly, going back to his man's side before someone could start lying to him. "Hey, Ray, don't tell him, okay? I don't want him to get too hopeful." He grabbed Xander and pulled him closer. "There, much better. I feel more protective now."
"That's good, get your hand out of my waistband while there's kids around," Xander said firmly.
"I can see what you mean about him not being back fully," Paul, the one who sold zines for his cousin, said grimly. "Usually you'd about tonsil molest him in front of us, Xan."
Xander shrugged. "Sorry, I'm not used to that yet."
"Which is why we're here," Lupin said smoothly. "Let me walk him around. We'll be back soon. Fortunately I had all his comics collected and sent to his librarian and had her fees paid automatically," he said lightly. "Now all we have to do is make him remember all this insanity." He walked Xander on. "Stop if something seems familiar."
Xander leaned closer. "Are they my lovers?"
"No, dear, they're your friends. They don't care what you do as long as you don't involve them, but they're your friends."
"Oh, okay." He nodded and walked along smiling and happy with his mate. He stopped at one table to look at the anime titles, then frowned and looked at Lupin. "I know Japanese?"
Lupin nodded. "You're fluent in it."
"Oh. Cool I guess. Must make it easier to do without the dubbing." He picked up some stuff, letting Lupin pay for it for him. He had said he was going to.
Lupin was starting to get frustrated. He had finally found the kids when they had come whining for dinner. So they had been fed and tucked into their room, with Ishi promising to keep Arsene off the tv as long as he possibly could. Now he was alone with Xander, who still wasn't remembering much more. He seemed to remember Teddy, but the big, hairy guy was pretty hard to forget. He didn't remember any of the rest of the convention stuff they had shared or even that he had done alone. He had one last option to go with. He looked at his lover. "Xander, do you trust me?" Xander shrugged. "Okay, normally, do you trust me?"
"I guess. Do I?"
"Well, you said you can't ever trust anyone fully but you trust me not to hurt you most of the time. Can I do something that may jog some memories of another timeline? That may be the key to getting you back." Xander shifted uncomfortably. "I promise, it won't hurt, it'll just be really weird."
"I seem to be used to weird," he offered.
"Then close your eyes." He grabbed the choker he had stolen off Xander's dresser before they had left France and walked over to him, concentrating on Sylvia's form. He knew it by heart - the feel, the scent, the softness of her skin, and how she always understood him. He put all that to the front of his mind as he clipped the choker on his boy, making him squeak. Then he pulled Xander up and put him in front of the mirror. "Do you recognize her?"
"Of course I do!" she said, swatting at him. "What the hell are you doing, Lupin?"
"The other side of you is ...." He paused. She looked her normal age. "Huh. The Xander half of you is younger, without his memories, and he can't even remember convention stuff other than Teddy." Her mouth fell open. "I was hoping that being you for a few minutes or more might help that. Besides, I missed you sometimes. He won't ever wear the choker again."
She gave him a long hug. "I understand. Let's see if I can jog myself free." She moved away from him, sitting on the bed. "It could be fear. Have you spooked him?"
"Well, your timeline died and all the kids came here, but that was a while ago," he admitted. "He kept going on and on about how I never respected him as Xander, but only as you, which I got perfectly," he said at her dirty look. "I don't have a problem with his decision but I do have a problem with him repressing or being repressed that way. When we rescued him, he didn't even know he had kids."
"Hmm." She concentrated on her inner self, like Ethan had shown her so very long ago, and found the blockage after a few hours. "Eww."
"We took out the chemical part of it," he assured her. "They detoxed him so fully he even lost his buildup of caffeine in his system."
"We are the same person."
"Then why can you remember and he can't? And for that matter, why is he sixteen and you're thirty-one?"
She opened her eyes to look at him. "Hold on, he's sixteen?" He nodded. "How?"
"Ethan's deaging potion. We finally got some made in this timeline and Xander was fed some."
"How old was I?"
"Just about to turn thirty-two."
"So I deaged...." She groaned and shook her head. "Janus!" she growled. She felt a tingle and sighed. "Yeah, he had some help in deaging him so far. Not the memory block though." She went back to it, finding that spot and another one again. The second spot needed some healing. It looked like a bruise and it felt like a bruise so she put some small bit of power against it, whispering a healing spell. That spot healed but the other seemed to glow brighter. "There are days when I wish I was Logan," she complained. "Self-healing seems pretty neat most of the time."
"Yeah, but he never aged either," Lupin pointed out. "I wouldn't mind Xander being eighteen, but he looks fourteen."
"Yeah, I did, until seventeen," Sylvia agreed. She tested that second sore spot, wincing when it flashed back against her. "What the hell are you?" she muttered. She sighed and stood up, then looked up. "Yo, a little bit of help here from a wish demon?" A small female appeared, looking scared. "Thanks. What is the thing that's making me forget everything? Can I wish that knowledge?" She nodded. "Then I wish I knew why my male side couldn't remember things and how to fix it."
The wish demon smiled. "Done." She smiled shyly at Lupin then disappeared with a small wave.
"Hmm, her will be done," Sylvia said as she sat down again. "Oh." She fixed it quickly, unraveling the knot that the chemicals had made in her mind. It was like the memories had been tangled like chains in a jewelry box. As soon as the knot unraveled the real reason popped forward and again a healing spell helped that sore spot a lot. She finally opened her eyes and looked at him. "Undo me. I'll have a headache. I hope I can see you again. You were fun," she said with a grin.
He kissed her, taking off the necklace in the middle of it. He pulled back to look at his lover, noticing his eyes didn't hold that glint of innocent wonder anymore. "Xander?" he asked softly. "Are you back?"
Xander looked at him. "I hate you."
Lupin grabbed him to hug him. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to make it all better," he vowed, holding him so he couldn't stomp out of the room. "Please don't be mad. I missed you."
"I'm sure you did, but I'm having troubles with that thing called moving."
"Fine, I'll let you go, as long as you don't leave the room." He let him go and stepped back. "Is it all back?"
"More of it, mostly bad stuff," he said bitterly. "Why did we fight last?"
"Because I was a stupid asshole."
"Because I didn't understand you the way you needed. Or are you talking about Goemon's thing? 'Cause he's apologized out the ass."
"No, not his. I had started to wonder over the last few days too," Xander admitted, pulling his feet up in front of him. "The last fight we had was over you never respecting me, Lupin, or don't you remember that fight in the woods?"
"Which was because I didn't understand you," he pointed out. "I'm sorry, I do respect you, Xan. I always have, I'm sorry I didn't say it."
Xander shrugged. "Not the point, Lupin. I'm remembering that we fought. Nothing else."
"Oh, no, I apologized," he said firmly, glaring at him. "How dare you not remember that you forgave me."
Xander grimaced and lay back on the bed, getting comfortable. "Let me sleep on it. Where are you sleeping?"
"There's another bedroom in case we got more of the kids, or Bix, or I had to sleep over there," he said, sounding dejected as he trudged away.
Xander frowned at his back. "You do pitiful better than anyone I've ever met. Get your skinny, scrawny butt back here." Lupin turned and took a running leap to land beside him, curling up around him. "No cuddling, Lupin, not until I'm sure of some things."
"You let me cuddle for the last few days."
"Yeah, and then I figured out how bad it was between us."
"It's not bad, Xan. It was a momentary thing. I've learned my lesson and I'm an asshole." He gave him a small grin. "I'm a walking hole with legs attacked and really good hair. That's all I am."
"Mmm." He let Lupin cuddle again, getting comfortable first. He felt the tired body next to him not even react and looked down at him. "You're not hard."
"I hate this, Xander. I hate you not knowing things and I hate it when you're upset with me. If you want I can thinking happier thoughts and get it back up."
"No, be honest, that's what I want." Xander curled up on his chest again. "You had to use the choker?" he complained.
"She had all the memories, and she was the right age."
"Shit." He paused. "Well, I always knew we were separate in there somehow."
"Apparently you were right," Lupin quipped, stroking the tense back. "Relax, I promised I wasn't going to do anything to you that you didn't want." Xander sat up, staring down at him. "What?"
"Where's my Lupin the Third?"
"You can't be my Lupin. Mine isn't that tender or sweet."
"Hey, I've got my moments," he defended. "Usually because you cause them!" He scowled at his younger lover. "I could be ravishing you right now but I decided that you needed to be handled gently until you regained your full memories, even if I did proposition you a few times."
"Oh." He laid back down then sat back up. "Why?"
"Because I love you enough to quit fucking other people unless it's for a job? I even gave up on Sylvia because of you, Xander. She can't compare to you. I like the original."
"The original had problems and issues."
"I realize that," Lupin agreed calmly. Now he had a new idea. "Can I, um, maybe have Xander back? With his memories?"
"You're not *my* Xander, Xan. I want *my* Xander. My Xander, who is also Lavelle, which is who you are." Xander looked stunned. "Aren't you?"
"Yeah, I guess I am," he admitted. "Then why...." He slowly shook his head. "I don't understand."
"The chemicals did strange things and the stress of our daughter was a bit more. You've only snapped a bit." He went back to stroking his back. "So can I have Xan back now?"
"Yeah, but it'll have to be in the morning. I think we need to have a conference in here." He laid down again, getting comfortable. "Thanks, Lupin."
"Not a problem, as long as I get him back." He smiled as the young man zoned out again. Now that they knew that the memories had been pushed into the places where he had constructed Sylvia and Lavelle, they could get them back.
Lupin woke up to a long-missed feeling, someone was licking his cock and making him wet and slippery enough for further fun. He felt a finger playing with him and smiled before opening his eyes. "Xan," he moaned, clutching the dark hair. She was in Melody form and he was loving this treatment. "You didn't have to switch. I wanted you back, the others didn't have to come back."
"I'm trying it out," he said between licks. "I remember most of it now. Now shh and let me play, Arsene."
"Yes, love, play all you want." He moved some of her hair so he could watch her. She was younger as well. He arched up when she nipped him, hissing. "No fair."
"You don't like?" she teased.
"No, I did," he admitted, letting her go back to whatever she wanted to do. She finally let his rear passage go and got to her knees, showing that she wasn't quite Melody, she had a dick attached to her nubile young body. "Oh, Xander!" he moaned, arching up into the warm mouth. "More?"
Xander pulled off to look at him, smiling slightly. "Of course you are. You'll be giving me everything I need," he reported. "We decided that Janus was correct, but that you're not going to be getting off for a *very* long time and there will be a massive condom between us."
"Let me play," he pleaded, pulling her up to attach himself to the warm body he had missed so much. He did like women so much better. He liked this form quite a lot, even though it was halfway inbetween. Hopefully that trick with the building orgasms would work for this body too. "Why not silver hair?"
"I hate my hair," she said with a shrug.
"I don't. I like your silver hair. It's always soft," he murmured against her skin. The body changed and he caught the hands. "Take it off, Xan? I want to have a female you later if you want to go that way. I want the real you for right now."
"You want the real me?" Lupin grinned and nodded. "All of it?"
"Scars, silver hair, and wacky nature," he agreed earnestly. "Even the confused parts. I want you to be whole and together." He licked across the soft lips. "Please?" Xander released the choker and put it beside him on the bed, waiting while Lupin took his fill of his male form. "Are you back?" he whispered as he moved down to taunt a nipple. "All I want is you."
"I'm back," he gasped, arching up into the teasing mouth. "Arsene!"
"Shh, babe. Let me play." He switched sides, moving across the wiggling body. His fingers tweaked and rolled the nipple he had just prepared for his attentions, while his thigh was gently parting the paler thighs below him. He left off the teasing of the nipples to move backwards as soon as Xander quit reacting so strongly, heading back to play with the wiggling stomach. He had spent a great deal of time mapping out each and every sensitive spot on the boy's body and his stomach was one of the most sensitive he had ever seen. He had a few spots that made him arch up and swear. He had a few that would make him get hard, or harder, whenever bitten. Those he headed for first, then the others, which made him chuckle as Xander reacted beautifully. He licked a newly bitten spot and looked up at him. "I am the maestro of your body, Xander. I enjoy playing your instrument." He moved backwards, playing with the harder instrument sitting there. He started slowly and softly, working it gently with just his fingertips while he watched Xander respond. His lover didn't disappoint, he begged and pleaded long before Lupin was ready for him to give up and come. He smirked at his lover as he leaned down to lick across the head. Xander whimpered for his pleasure and he decided he liked that.
He went farther down on him, making Xander grab the sheets in both hands and squeeze his eyes shut. Lupin's chuckle carried through the delicate flesh and Xander came from that alone. Lupin licked his lips as he pulled back, moving up to kiss him again. He gently put the choker back on Xander, turning him back into Sylvia. She was his age this time and he felt dirty for a moment, until he remembered that she wasn't really that young. He spent some time kissing her, letting her come back down, then he went back to the series to start over again, only this time his tongue was used for much more pleasurable pursuits. He liked licking girls more he decided. Xander lay there spread out for his benefit and he enjoyed it all, sending her crashing through her first mini-orgasm. She clenched around his tongue, begging and pleading for more attention, more of him in her, but he only added a few fingers and moved up slightly to play with her clit. She squealed and pushed it into his mouth, writhing above him on the bed, chanting and pleading for more. "Shh, you'll get it all," he promised. "Not too loud though, or Ishi might come to save you."
"I'd kill him," she growled, flipping him over so his head was trapped under her body. "Lick, now, more." He chuckled and smiled as he went back to what he had been doing. She whimpered and grabbed the headboard, then decided he should be tormented and that she wanted to suck on something, not just be his sex toy. She turned, going down on him like she was starving. He moaned into her, making her moan and work him harder. Lupin's tongue stabbed into her and she pushed back, trying her best to make her lover come finally. Anything just to finish herself off this time. She started to reach a finger down but he sucked on it instead of letting it play with her, which robbed her of most of her stimulus. She gave up and decided to roll off him, letting him have her however he wanted once his mouth latched on again. She felt the tightening begin in her stomach and clutched his legs, panting into him as he brought her over the edge again, and a second time quickly thereafter. She was in that nice place now, the one where nothing mattered but that big one at the end. She'd do anything to get it. She even climbed on top of him and broke herself in again to get it before he could stop her. It was a bit of a pain, but she didn't care, it was filling her so much more!
Lupin gently thrust into her, trying to slow her desperate thrusts. He played with her clit, bringing her over again so she's slow down again, then he got her underneath him, going back to what he liked to do best. He liked doing this to her body. She shivered and shook beneath him like a junkie for his touch. Her nipples were ripe for his teasing lips, her stomach was perfectly flat. Her lower half was wet and pulsing around him. He had to control himself from going over too soon. He wanted to finish breaking all those memories free from her and that would take a lot of effort since he didn't have Jigen to help him this time. She squealed and clutched at him as he withdrew, going back to licking her for now. He could hold off his own pleasure until she was brainless, then send her crashing into the last orgasm, then switch her back. She had one last one with a full-body shiver and a loud scream of pleasure, so he unhooked her and moved behind her.
He had been stretching her while he had finished her off orally, and now he slid into the easy hole, making his Xander toy moan and push back against him as he filled the cavity to the best of his abilities. He did wish he had a cockring, another one might be possible if he could have found one for Xander to put on, but he'd do with what he had. His lover was limp in his arms and nearly purring now. He finished his baby off with slow, gentle, long strokes into his tired body, making him have one last, spunkless, come while Lupin flooded all of his into him. Xander passed out underneath him. Lupin laid there and stroked his stomach gently, curled up against his back until his little one could wake up and hopefully be all right. Someone knocked on the door so he grabbed his robe and strolled over there, letting the weariness slow him down only a bit. He found hotel security on the other side. "He's over age."
"Are you sure?"
Lupin got Xander's wallet, pulling out his ID for them. "See? Consensual sex. He's passed out."
"A guy made that much noise?" the guard asked in awe. Lupin smirked and lounged against the door to hold himself upright. He was really tired now. "Fine. Try to keep it down please. There's kids on this floor."
"I tried my best to keep him quiet. We'll try to be more discreet in the future. Thanks though. It's nice that you guys don't hesitate to barge in."
"We almost did, but then we found out who had rented the room," he said, giving Lupin a long look. "We didn't want shot."
Lupin smirked. "Good idea. Xander has in the past." He took the ID back and gently closed the door, going back to nap off his own exhaustion. Doing that to Xander gave him the most urgent need for a nap. He stopped to clean himself up and grab a warm washcloth, getting Xander clean so they could nap together.
Lupin woke up to someone kissing him. He smiled and opened his eyes, finding Xander leaning above him. "Morning." He pulled him down to kiss him again. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine. I could use a soak, but we need to get back down there. There were things I wanted that I didn't get."
Lupin smirked at him. "Fully back?" Xander nodded. "So it worked?"
"Quite a lot." He kissed him gently then pulled back and sat up with a wince. "Damn, my butt is not used to this anymore."
"It will become used to it again," Lupin promised. "But if you want, you can have a long, hot bath."
"Maybe later. I had to shove Arsene out of the room already. She's convinced that we're missing all the early morning stuff."
"We are." Lupin sat up and kissed him again. "Are you all right?"
"Definitely," Xander agreed with a lascivious grin. "What should I go as today?"
"Something I can tease you as, Xan. I want to tease you."
"You keep sending me these looks that do that."
Lupin gave him a long kiss. "Put on some clothes that I can make you regret putting on. I want to tease you downstairs so everyone knows you're back to normal."
"Hmm. No mice?"
"No, nothing that massive. Though I did bring one of them. Put on some leather pants for me? Let the kids do the costumes this time? There's another one next month and we'll go in costume if you want."
"Hmm. Won't we be doing something?"
"Nope. Arsene's class is nearly finished. You're back to yourself. Why would we need to stay up there?"
"Because I doubt Sarah will let go of her bestest buddy's tail anytime soon?"
"So they'll visit. It'll help her a lot." He kissed him again. "Tight t-shirt and leather pants, Xander."
"Yes, Lupin," he moaned.
"That's the sounds I like to hear," he teased, giving him a little nudge. "Finish cleaning up."
"I need my choker."
"Hmm. Wanna go as a schoolgirl?"
"That would confuse some people," Xander pointed out gently, taking the choker and going into the bathroom to take a full bath. His lower half needed it, it was a bit sore. He came out and worked his way into the skin-tight leather pants Lupin had laid out for him and the dress shirt. "Decided against the t-shirt?"
"I figured you might want to have something that would cover the bulge now and then," Lupin said as he put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt of his own. He got to relax at these too. No dress clothes, not even a jacket or tie in sight. He slid into his sneakers and followed Xander down to pick up the kids. Ishi was chastising Arsene over her rudeness yet again. "She'll never learn," he pointed out. "Her rude little nature will keep her from being a great thief because none of her marks will ever want to be around her." He steered Ishi out of the room by his arm, and the boy stopped to stare at his uncle. "Yes, I dressed him," he sighed.
"He looks damn hot," Ishi muttered. "I'll never get that girls' attention with him there."
"Kid, we'd only try to scare her, and this way she'd know that 'hot' ran in the family," Xander promised. Ishi grinned at him and Xander beamed back. "Whaddya know, Janus helped unravel most of them. As far as I know I have all of them back."
"With as noisy as you two were, I'm not surprised," Arsene said.
Her father pushed her back into the room and closed the door in her face. "When you've figured out how to be more like your sister and polite, you can come down to brunch. Until then, you're grounded." He walked his two guys downstairs, letting Ishi go before they got there so he wouldn't be embarrassed. They came off the elevator and into a large, furry back. "Teddy, you made it," he said happily, giving the guy a hug. "Xander's fully back now."
"Wow." He waved at Xander. "You're sure?"
"Sure I'm sure," Xander agreed. "You were the one I couldn't forget anyway." He smirked at him. "You know I wanna brush you someday."
Teddy snickered, shaking his head. "Sorry, Xan, only if you do it however you do and become a girl. I only like girls. Though, in that outfit, you do look tasty."
"I'm teasing my man," he stage-whispered. "Think it'll work."
"I do," he said in appreciation. "Where's the other one?"
"In our room," Ishi offered. "She was being rude again. Tried to interrupt them and everything." They got out of the way of the elevator and looked around. "Are we lined up for the brunch?"
"No, some kids decided to have a mock-saber fight in the middle of the lobby. We're watching them hack at each other."
Ishi rolled his eyes. "My age or my uncle's?"
"I'm staying out of it until I go a few rounds with your dad, just to make sure I didn't lose those memories totally," Xander assured him. "A sword feels like it'd feel odd to me." Someone nudged him and handed him a sword, so he tested it. "It's off balance, and it's heavier than I remember."
"That's because you had built up your muscles before, Xander. You'll have to work over those again," Lupin promised. "That stuff that changed you took some of the muscles you had built up along with the calluses. If you want, I'm not gonna let you in the field until you've gone through everything with Goemon again."
"I've been working out with him," he admitted. He tried a simple swing and something was still off. He felt confined. He checked his neck, then found an extra necklace, which came off. The one covering the marks was put back on and the other one came off. His silver hair came out and he suddenly felt like he was free. He tried another swing and it was much like it always had been, only still a bit heavy. "That was keeping me from doing anything," he said, moving forward with Ishi. They watched the kids and Xander shook his head 'tsk'ing quietly. "Bad form for the one in the black."
"The red one isn't going to collapse, is he?" Ishi asked.
"Possibly," Xander agreed, leaning on his shoulder. "Hey, um, guys, do you want a quick sword lesson? It's much the same." They stopped to gape at him and he wiggled his fingers. "Hey."
"Shit, you're Lavelle," one of the boys said. "Someone said they'd did something funny to your age."
Xander nodded. "They were trying to take my memories and it did it." He looked at Ishi. "My scars aren't out, right?"
"Only the one on your cheek. You've always seemed to have that from my memories." Xander traced it. "Yeah, that one."
"Yeah, it won't hide." He looked at the kids again. "Let me introduce my protégé and partial student, Geomon Ishikawa the Fourteenth." Ishi bowed shortly. "He'd like to spar with one of you, but we've got to correct a few things. You," he said, pointing at the boy in red, "lean into your blows way too much. Your body is an extension of the sword, but it's also the anchor holding it from going too far. You lean and you overswing. You," he said, pointing at the boy in black, "keep tripping over your feet when you retreat. Want help?"
"Show us," the one in red offered. Xander traded weapons with him so he wasn't using live steel against Ishi, and Ishi faced off against him. "Episode Two?"
"Only if I get to be Yoda," Ishi said with a grin. "You can improvise." He rushed and Xander blocked, striking back. The crowd gaped as they went at it, jockeying back and forth for position. In the end, 'Yoda' fell to a surprise blow to his knees and had to scramble out of the way while Xander smirked at him and blocked his killing blow to get him in a headlock and give him a noogie. "I give!" he shouted, struggling to get away. "You've got pointy knuckles!"
"Thanks," Xander said, letting him go. He bowed to the crowd and tossed the fake sabers back to the kids, who looked stunned. "Lessons, guys, it's easy enough. I learned in about two years."
"Yeah, and most of it off your anime videos," Ishi snorted. He pulled the kid in red closer. "Okay, do this," he said, swinging his saber before handing it over, then correcting the kid's stance.
Xander looked at the other one. "Most of that is probably your age. You're supposed to be uncoordinated at your age," he said quietly. "Take up fencing or a version of martial arts and it'll get you past that." The kid looked at him oddly. "Seriously. I did. It helped me tons and I was fighting nearly every day by that time."
"Yeah, and tripping, and falling, and being the bait," Jonas said dryly. "You two were excellent."
"That's because his father trained me and we're both training him," Xander said wisely, smirking at him. "How is Ripper?"
"Tired of England. Said there's no one good enough to eat over there anymore. Ethan sent him to play in the US." He shrugged. "Ethan did send a 'hello' and a hug if you wanted one from him. He's a bit....busy at the moment with his educating of Rupert."
"Wow," the boy said, blinking at him. "You're a Watcher?"
Jonas smiled and nodded. "I am. I'm over some of the training actually. Did you want to talk about that?" The boy gave him an adoring look. "Now, remember, you've got to learn how to fight anyway and Lavelle is one of the best people to tell you how to do that."
"Fencing with Judo," Xander told him. "That's about how I started, Judo."
"Are you a Watcher?" the other boy asked.
Xander shook his head, holding out his hand. "Xander Harris, formerly from Sunnydale." The boy gave him a worshipful look. "Like I said, find one that suits you and learn the hell out of it. Most vampires only like to brawl and it'll help your concentration and balance. Then get Jonas to sign you up for training."
"Yes, sir, thank you, sir. Scotty, Jonas is a Watcher!" he said happily.
"Oh, fuck me!" he said excitedly, coming over to talk to him, pulling him away. Some of the others followed to chat with him.
Xander chuckled. "It's a lot of laundry with nasty substances," he told one frowning person. "It really is." He walked back to Lupin's side, smirking at him. "Hey. Didn't you promise me food for breaking me free this morning?"
"I did," Lupin agreed, walking him over to the buffet table. "I see Ishi's already picked up an admirer."
"He's a cute little boy. The girls like that."
"He's also sensitive, honest, straight, and strong, they like that even more," Teddy pointed out as he joined them. "I suppose you're fully back to normal?"
"It's amazing, Lupin made my whole brain shudder and most of it broke loose," he said with a smug grin. "How's the daughter?"
"Not good. I can't find her. I can't find her mother either. I was kinda hoping I could ask you to ask around, Xan."
"Not a problem," he promised. "Let me grab some food and we'll go talk. Let's see what Uncle Lavelle can help you with," he said with a small grin. "Lupin, babe?"
"Of course I'll help," he snorted. "People like that annoy the hell out of me." He felt someone hug him and looked down. "Arsene, didn't I ground you?"
"I'm sorry, father," she said, giving him a big, wet eyed look. "I didn't mean to be that mean or naughty with you guys, and I'm sorry for my rudeness. I didn't want to hurt you guys." She switched her hug to her other father. "Please, may I help?"
"Sure, kid, three thieves are even better than two," Teddy promised, giving her a smile. "Remember, you can only be rude in your own home, and only when it doesn't annoy others. Otherwise they leave you and do other things."
"Yes, Uncle Teddy." She hugged him too. "Let's eat and figure it out. I've got my laptop in my backpack." She pointed back at her teddybear backpack. It was the one she always carried on any jobs she pulled. "Do you think we'll have to rescue her?"
"Possibly," Xander admitted, finishing his plate up. They found a table in a corner, one that didn't have a good view so it had been left empty, and sat down to help the poor guy. No one should have their kid stolen by their former lover. It was so very wrong.
Ishi knocked on the door of the apartment, grinning at her. "I'm here to do a welfare check for your father," he told the young woman. "He sent me and Lavelle after you."
"Uncle Xander is here?" she asked pitifully. "Really?" Ishi nodded and pointed outside. She looked and squealed. "Oh, it is Uncle Xander!" She hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. "You're so great. I'm feeling like the princess trapped in the tower."
"Well, come along, Rapunzel, we'll let you down your hair and to the Judge's courtroom. Your parents are in front of him again over your mother taking you."
"But she had custody."
"Yes, but it wasn't for six weeks straight and she wasn't to bring you out of the city," Ishi reminded her. "Your father was nearly in tears last night when he came to Lavelle for help." He waited while she packed her clothes and then walked her out to the sportscar, looking around as they got inside. Then they sped off. It was only a few hours back, but they needed to hurry and Xander could probably cut that down by half. Ishi handed over his cellphone. "Press '4' until it dials," he advised. "It goes right to Lupin's phone."
She did so and put the phone against her ear. Xander closed the windows and she gave him a light smile. "Daddy, Uncle Xander is really young."
Teddy laughed and relaxed. "Yes, he is, but I trust those two. Remember to put on your seatbelt, young lady. I love you and we'll be waiting on you. Sure. You can have pizza tonight and those two can tell you all about the convention. Love you too, see you soon." He hung up and handed the phone back to Arsene. "Thanks, dear."
"Welcome," she said calmly, looking at the confused judge. "I do believe that your orders were to not take the girl out of the city and to hand her back and forth. We've had to enforce those recently," she said coolly.
The judge gaped at her. "Who are you, young lady?"
"Arsene Lupin the Fourth. My cohort, Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth just freed her from the apartment her mother had stuffed her in all the way in Germany. We have an uncle driving her back at the moment. She's been gone now for six weeks."
The judge looked at Teddy. "You called in a thief?"
"Who better to steal something so precious as my daughter?" he asked simply. "I trust Lavelle with my life. He'd never hurt my daughter and the Goemons are known for being honorable to the point of breaking under it. She's fine....now." He glared at his soon-to-be ex. "My daughter requested to come live with me. Not with you," he reminded her.
"You're warping her!" she shouted back. "You're turning her into something like that thing! You know thieves?" He nodded. "Stealing now?"
He shook his head. "No. Lavelle is a convention buddy," he said quietly. "He's always been very nice to me. I didn't even have to pay him, all I had to do was ask. He's this one's father and stepfather to the others. He's a parent, he understands."
"The last time one of us was taken by anyone, daddy went off," Arsene assured her. "Daddy Xander nearly destroyed a whole crime family to get me back. He's a parent who protects other's kids. Going against other bad guys is one thing, going against innocents is another and my family has never been about that. Don't believe me, I can call the ICPO if you want."
"No," she sneered. "Who'd believe you?"
She looked at the bailiff. "Would you please do a warrant's hunt for me?" she asked politely, smiling at him. "I believe it's time I pulled up some credentials other than my birthright."
The bailiff looked confused but called down to the warrant's office and then looked at her in alarm as they pulled up a few of them. He looked at the judge. "She's wanted on six counts of robbery, one of them at a convention last year." Teddy smacked her across the back of the head.
"Ow! I didn't hurt anyone, they only fell asleep. The jewels were too pretty to resist and they weren't fandom related in the least."
"Still," he said, frowning at her. "You should know better, Arsene."
"Yes, sir," she sighed, slumping down again. She gave the judge a smirk just like her father's. "Sorry, it does run in the family. We chose to support him as fellow parents and children who've had the other taken away from us at times. One kidnaped child will understand another one. Only a parent would understand the pain of losing a child to kidnaping. Fortunately, he knew who took his. My twin's going to fix the other sort for a living. See, it's all about choices. We chose to help Teddy with his problems. His ex chose to take their daughter to Germany and keep her locked in an apartment there while trying to brainwash her. In this case, her choices made her the bad guy for at least two people and that deserved our attention."
The judge scowled. "Still, people like you should be stopped."
She cackled. "Many, many people have tried," she said condescendingly. "I'm sure at least one of them will be showing up soon. He goes to the cons to track Daddy Xander too."
"Inspector Kowalski is a member of my close personal friends," Teddy agreed, "and if he hadn't had to leave for Turkey suddenly I might have gone to him with this problem. That way it would have been settled within the law. Desperate times call for desperate measures however and Lavelle was there. My daughter is more than precious enough a treasure to warrant their attention. My only concern is that my daughter may pick up that whole bad- boy phase when she's with them and hit on Ishi."
"Ishi wouldn't know what to do with a flirting girl anyway," Arsene assured him. "His dad's the same way. His ex always had to make all the moves, unless she found out she was stuffed up. Then you'd better believe she got the full force of all his attention and we could only wonder why she couldn't walk, sit, or lean."
"Young lady!" the judge said, looking and sounding shocked.
She shrugged. "Sorry, but we all lived together. All I know is that they made a lot of noise and she couldn't move very well after he got done celebrating." She shrugged. "Who knows what else went on? My parents keep taking away the porn channels each time I try to get them." She smirked at him. "My parents try so *hard* to control me and this is good behavior."
The judge scowled at her. "Perhaps some old-fashioned correction is needed."
"The last time anyone paddled my butt, I had just tried to stop a car by jumping on the hood of it. That was Uncle Goemon though. I'm hard to teach some things."
"She's also presently grounded, which is why she's here instead of helping take my daughter back," Teddy said, rolling his eyes. "It seems her nature has upset her fathers again."
"She's exactly like her father," the bailiff noted. "Just like that biography said he was like. His former nanny wrote one; I did a paper on it in school. He was looking up skirts at nine."
"I'm nine and I don't really like women. But then again, I don't really see the appeal of boys yet either." She grinned at him. "I think humans are fascinating creatures and the mating instinct is less studied than any other part of their behavior. So I like to watch."
Teddy blushed. "Arsene, I have duct tape in the car," he warned.
"Sorry, Uncle Teddy."
"Thank you," the judge said. He looked at Teddy. "There are how many parents?"
"Four," he said after quickly counting them up in his head. "And one absent ex-wife. She's the mother to the Goemon clan's children."
"Ah." He nodded. "Fujiko Mine I do know. You are quite a lot like her, young lady."
"Take that back!" she shouted, jumping up. "I'm nothing like that psychotic whore!"
The judge blinked. "Excuse me?"
"I'm not!" she insisted. "I can treat people better, she only saw them as marks. I like some people quite a lot! For that matter, I'm not going to screw over my crew for something pretty! I was trained better than that, thank you. I'm not a whore, nor am I delusional, nor am I one who will intentionally hurt my future lovers for shits and giggles. Nor am I one who will ignore my future children screaming for attention the way she did. Take it back!"
"Fine, I'm sorry, I meant your language skills," he said mildly. "I'm sorry to have insulted you, Arsene."
"Thank you," she said stiffly as she sat down again, glaring at him. "I hope she fucking well dies soon if it matters. That would free Uncle G to find a *real* woman to date, one which would be a real mother to the horde that Daddy isn't."
"You could always turn her in," the judge suggested.
Arsene smirked. "She's six weeks postpartum, still bleeding, still kinda chunky in places, and she's still slower than us. I'm sure she'll get caught without having any thieves to back her up. I know my family won't." He nodded, looking at the parents. She pulled out her phone and dialed her father's. "Daddy. Are they doing okay?" She listened to the update and smiled. "Thanks. No, the judge just told me I was exactly like the demented bitch." She grimaced. "I do not!" She rolled her eyes with a snort. "Thank you, father. No, we'll be here." She hung up. "They've just crossed the border and they're speeding this way. The border guards nearly questioned them but the girl told them they were her rescuers so they were let across and you should be getting a call soon from one of the ICPO's people," she told the bailiff. She looked behind her as the door opened. "Hey, Uncle Ray. We're rescuing Uncle Teddy's little girl from the evil bitch queen over there."
He looked down at her. "I heard." He looked at the judge, then at Teddy. "I would have come back, man."
"Ray, your job's more important and this is keeping them from pulling anything today," Teddy said with a shrug. "I wasn't going to pull you away from that."
"It's not a problem, man. Anytime, and I mean that." He looked down at Arsene. "You do realize that I can arrest you?"
"And do what? Send me to Juvie, where I'll gather a new gang, teach them better tricks, and find out what use girls are good for?" she snorted, smirking at him. "Do you think you'd keep me? All my fathers have taught me how to get away." She sat up a little straighter at his frown. "Oh, tell Auntie Dawn that the scar-tissue cure worked on Daddy's memories. We think he's got them all back now."
"Good. I'll tell her," he agreed, grabbing her. "We'll be right back."
"No, please, have her," the judge assured him, waving him away. "Let the father have her cellphone in case something happens."
Arsene pulled it out and tossed it to him. "Here. I'll want it back, give it to daddy or mail it to the 'found' addy on the back," she said with a grin as she was dragged away. She waited until they were outside to kick him on the shin and then slug him good, knocking him down. "Don't grab me that way! I don't like boys and you're an icky boy on top of that because you're a cop!"
"Arsene Lupin the Fourth," Zenigata growled. "How pleasant to meet you in the light."
She looked up at him, tapping her foot. "We have met in the past, Uncle Zenny. Really."
"Yes, but you didn't have any warrants then, dear." He grabbed her. "And with you, your father will come."
She kissed him on the tip of his nose. "It won't be *my* father, Great-Gramps, it'll be Daddy Lavelle who'll come for me. He may take a few hours, but he'll be the one coming for me. If Daddy Jigen and Uncle G don't," she said pointedly, staring over his shoulder. He looked and she got him in the groin, sliding away when he dropped her. She punched Ray again, pressing a small tube to his skin and breaking it. Then she skipped off happily as if nothing had happened. "Remember, I'm only like this for business. The rest is a pleasure," she said with a little bow. Then she headed outside. She could trust Teddy to get her phone back to her. A cab was quickly gotten and she instructed him to take her to a mall, where she could get another one and go to a bus stop, and then take a bus to their hotel. "Daddy, I'm home," she called as she walked in.
"I left you with Teddy to protect him, Arsene, not to get into trouble, or to nearly get arrested because you were showing off," he growled.
"Gee, dad, I don't think the judge would have listened to me otherwise."
"That's not the point! You risked yourself horribly!"
"Dad, chill, or I'm going to go back to the mall and hit a jewelry store and come back in an hour or so after the prozac has worked." She scowled back at him when he glared. "It was necessary to help him! He wasn't listening to a little girl and we both know that."
"That's because he's not supposed to listen to little girls, Arsene. You took a lot of risks and they were all stupid. The adults had it."
"Of course you did, but the judge was yelling at Uncle Teddy for calling on you guys for help."
"He's a judge, he's supposed to do that!"
"He was going to take custody away from him, I could see it in his face, father. Now shut up!" He flinched, stepping back. "I did what I had to do to protect her and him keeping her. The fact that I got Great-Gramps in the groin and knocked Ray out using one of the vials isn't a factor in that. I got away."
"Great-Gramps?" he asked dryly, breaking his bad mood.
"Well, if he's your Pops and he's Daddy Xander's Gramps, then wouldn't he be my Great- Gramps?"
"No, Gramps should be fine," he assured her, rolling his eyes. "You still took a lot of risks."
"Yay! It got the job done in the most efficient manner. Uncle Teddy will keep his little girl. Uncle Xan and Ishi are coming back with her right now. Gramps and Uncle Ray are out of the picture for now. I came here in a way that not even Uncle Ray's former running buddy from Chicago could easily track me. I may not want to test my theories about being able to get out of a juvenile facility, but I'm pretty sure I can if necessary. It may take me a few weeks, but I'm sure I can do it."
"You're nine, I don't want you to have to worry about such things yet," he reminded her. "No more stealing until you're sixteen. Otherwise I'm going to start drugging you again."
"Fine, daddy, no more stealing until I'm sixteen. By then most of the warrants will have expired." She rolled her eyes as she sat down. "Have you figured out where I'm going to school yet?"
"You're all going to the same one. We've got literature back at the house. The others are on their way back down since all of your class but one passed their final exam with me and he'll be able to retake it. It was the excitement so he'll be taking it with the kitsune teacher who's just stolen something to make his reputation."
"Cool. I learned a lot teaching them. Their books had a lot of things I hadn't thought of yet."
"Which is why you're still learning," her father reminded her. "Which is why I don't want you risking yourself until you're sixteen. I also don't want you in the position to have to kill until at least then. I won't have you turn into Dawn, where it's all a big game to you."
"I know it's not a game, dad. I've never considered it a game, or at least not since I regained sense as a five-year-old. I promise I won't steal until I'm sixteen. But that doesn't mean I won't tell some of your guys to get me things," she said quickly at his look. "Or do the occasional shoplifting to keep in practice."
"That's fine," he agreed gently, giving her a hug. "Now, help me finish packing and we'll leave here. We're heading back to the hideout in Greece."
"Cool! Are you guys gonna rent a boat?"
He gave her a long look. "Even if we do, it's going to be adults only part of the time. You and the other kids will stay with Bix or Marcus."
"Yes, dad," she sighed, rolling her eyes again. "Can I get scuba lessons?"
"Sure. It'd be my pleasure to teach you," he beamed.
"You're the bestest father," she grinned back. "You teach me all sorts of stuff." She gave him a hug and helped him pack up the room, sending for a bellhop. "Why did you blush when I mentioned a boat, dad?"
He blushed again. "Something that happened in the other timeline," he noted. "A big changing point for us."
"Oh." She nodded. "Got some on there?" He frowned at her. "Never mind, I don't need to know. Even though seeing loving parents makes me want to love more."
"Not until you're at least sixteen," he growled.
"Fine," she agreed quickly, dropping it. She wouldn't get away with that. Her fathers would kill her if she tried before then, and Ishi would scowl at her again. "Hey, dad, are you hoping one of us hooks up with Ishi?"
"Daughter, the thought of you and Ishi hooking up and having kids was enough to make your father Jigen drink so much he passed out," he assured her. "Not to mention me, Marcus, and Xander doing the same. Only Bix thought you'd be cute together. She also said that she'd be married before the child came, or that she'd pick the first man and make him marry her."
She looked up and shook her head. "Do you see what I put up with, Janus?"
"Keep it up, I'll send you to a Catholic school," he said happily, smiling at her. "Nuns and all."
"Yeah, 'cause I'm sure I can be kicked out within a day."
"Not from some of them," he assured her. He walked out with the rest of their things, following their bags down to the lobby to check out. He turned in their keys and then went to the car he had rented. Valets were so nice, they had even put a few bugs into it for him. He quickly tossed them off a bridge on the way out of town, wishing the cops good luck finding them.
Xander handed Teddy his daughter with a grin. "She was very good. She didn't flirt, didn't ask a lot of questions about Ishi's training, and she was more than happy to simply talk costumes." He nodded at the judge. "Sir." He turned and skipped back down the stairs. Ishi had turned in the car for them and had gotten them a new one with the fake IDs he had made for him. The kid had even shifted over so he could drive. "Okay, let's head out of town taking the second bridge over the river," he ordered. Ishi pulled away carefully. "You can go a bit faster, Ishi man."
"Fine," he agreed, speeding up to match the frantic pace of Parisian traffic. He was doing really well. "Those driving lessons Uncle Jigen gave me in Rome really helped out."
"Rome is the ultimate city of insane drivers," Xander agreed. "Next he'll be taking Marcus down there." They shared a laugh. "Okay, bridge," he pointed. The kid cut off two cars but he made the exit and put them onto the other bank of the city, heading out of town. The airport was that way and it would be easiest to catch a small plane out from there. Xander groaned, noticing the lights. "Ishi, cops."
"Should I punch it or stop?"
"Stop. We don't need a chase today." Ishi carefully pulled over and turned off the car.
The officer walked up beside them, frowning at them. "How old are you?"
"Eighteen," he said with a credible California accent, pulling out his wallet and registration. "I'm sorry, was I going fast?" He handed the ID over.
The cop looked at it, then at him. "This is an American one."
"We're on holiday after graduating school, before college," Xander said, leaning closer so he could be seen. "We weren't aware we needed an international one. We're on our way out of town actually. We're going to Russia next. Will we need one there?"
The cop handed it back. "Probably, but I can let you go with a warning this time," he said. "Keep it under the speed limits, kids. Also, learn what a turn signal is. You're a bit dangerous."
"Sorry, sir. I'm much more careful at home with my old clunker, but this rental car is *tons* faster," Ishi explained, looking a bit pitiful. "Thank you, sir. I've really enjoyed my stay in Paris." He grinned as he stuffed his license away. "Can I go? We'll miss our flight."
"Go," he said grudgingly. The kid started the car and took off again, letting him watch as he carefully merged into traffic, using his lights this time, and sped off again. He shook his head, going back to the car. He picked up the radio. "Dispatch, how old is Goemon the fourteenth again? I just caught him driving. He's heading for the airport." He didn't want to deal with those two unless he had full body armor, and hopefully a suit of real armor over it.
"He's eleven," Dawn's voice reported. "He's driving? Stupid asshole Jigen."
"Yes, ma'am," he said respectfully. "And the silver haired one was with him. He's doing really well, just forgot his blinkers." He got into the car. "Should I chase?"
"No, I'm routing our special team to the airport to catch them," she reported. "Good job." The radio went dead.
In the office, Dawn put her feet up on the desk and called her husband. "Hey, me. Ishi was just driving Lavelle to the airport." She smirked at the confused sounding grunt. "Yup, Ishi. So the asshole taught him how to drive already." She smirked at his rant. "Airport, dear. Go to the airport. I'm sure the Lupins are leaving too." She hung up and looked down at her ankles. "Why are you swollen? I haven't eaten that many peanuts today."
Ishi looked out the window of the plane as it taxied out to the runway. "Hey, look, there's a cop chasing that other plane," he said, letting his uncle look.
Xander glanced out there and grinned. "I knew that person was odd." He leaned back, getting comfortable. "I knew it was a good expenditure of energy to help him get home to his family."
"You're insane," Ishi said conversationally. "That must be why your man likes you so much." Xander smirked at him. "Okay, both of them, but I still say the other likes you because you're so damn good."
"Hmm. I'm not ruling it out," he said in a sated, calm voice. That light nerve pill the dealer at the airport had let him have had been very good for his nerves. "I'm sure he'll be having fun with me tonight, once we meet up again." He smiled at the stewardess, who was doing one last check of the seats. "How long before we take off?"
"Maybe another four minutes. The plane ahead of us was stopped by the police," she offered. She checked Ishi's seat then moved on to buckle herself in. "The man in first class who looks too young to be legal has a pill in his system," she told the fellow stewardesses. "He's much too calm."
"Then he won't give us any problems," the other said with a smile and a wink. He was so adorable! White hair at his age made him seem so exotic. Plus, they were both so polite, much nicer than the usual fliers who only saw them as high-altitude waitresses. Maybe they'd have to make sure both boys were thoroughly broken in by the time they landed in Greece.
Lupin watched his daughter hunting for something, frowning at the words she was crooning. He shook his head a few times and looked at Jigen and Goemon, both of whom looked stunned. So it wasn't just him having hallucinations. That was a good thing to know.
"Here, Lupin the Fifth," she called softly. "Come on, little one. Come to mommy. Mommy wants to cuddle you so much and we'll be going to see Auntie Savannah. You know she always has some milk for you."
"Um, daughter?" Lupin asked carefully, wondering if she had snapped. He looked at Goemon. "She's too young to have kids, right? We'd have noticed that?" Goemon nodded quickly. "Thanks." He looked at his daughter again, noticing she had picked something up. "Daughter? Lupin the *Fifth*?"
She grinned at him. "It's not like that, dad." She walked over to let him see the thing in her hands. "This is my baby. I'd never have real kids, they're all insane," she snorted. "Come on, you precious little thief. Let's get back to the house. Yes, we will, and Auntie Savannah will pour you such a good treat and give you such lovies," she cooed, stuffing the baby ferret in her pocket. "Aren't we ready yet?"
"Nearly," Jigen said, coughing a few times. "Arsene. No furry things."
"It's hard to travel with pets," Arsene agreed, sticking up for their sanity. His daughter with a ferret? Should they start calling her a beastmaster now and buy her a leather loincloth? No, if they did that, she'd wear it. "You have to plan ahead and our life isn't really full of that opportunity."
"Only if someone finds him," she pointed out. She smirked at him. "Leave me alone, dad, or I will have kids some day."
He quickly gave her a gentle hug and left it at that. That was a thought worse than sleeping with Zenigata. He looked at the other adults, who all nodded quickly to show that they agreed with him and his decision.
Fortunately Ishi and Xander came off the plane, Ishi bright red and Xander smirking lazily at them. "Can we go?" Ishi whispered to his uncle. "Please, now? Before the stews try to have me in the bathroom again?"
Lupin led the group out of the airport, and since she was in the lead, she got to sit wherever she wanted in the car. She looked at Ishi, who was curled up against his father's side. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, just escaping the stewardess who thought I was so cute and polite, so she wanted to break me in." His father scowled. "I explained that I was taken and under a vow to my woman and that I couldn't dream of it. She kissed me on the cheek and said men like me were rare so my girl was lucky."
"Thanks, Ishi, I feel the same way," Arsene assured him happily.
He glared at her. "I'm not yours, Lupin. Get over it already."
"Enough," Xander said patiently. He looked at Jigen, who had his usual shotgun seat. "The stewardesses were very nice about it, and took a gentle 'no' quite happily. They were very impressed with Ishi's self control since she had her breasts in his face."
Jigen looked back at Ishi. "Don't worry, we've got liquor back at the house." Goemon kicked his seat, making him grin at him. "He's at the age to wonder."
"I am, but I don't want it to be in an airplane bathroom," Ishi complained. "A nice hotel possibly, but not in an airplane."
"Go, Lupin," Xander said quietly.
"No," Xander snorted. "Wanna taste me and check?"
"No, I trust you," Lupin offered, starting the car. "Daughter, show him our grandchild."
She pulled out her baby as the roof went up, since it was starting to rain, and let her dad see it. Xander squealed as he petted the little thing. "Lupin the Fifth, this is the Daddy Xander. He'll love you whole lots, just like I do. Daddy, this is the only grandchild you'd better be expecting from my butt."
"They don't come out of your butt," Ishi said patiently.
"I know that, thank you. I did watch that same special you did, Ishi." Her baby was taken from her hand by Jigen, who looked at the beast up close. "May I please have my baby back, Uncle Jigen?"
"Only if you suddenly turn into a good little girl. Only they get pets," he pointed out, letting Xander put the ferret into his pocket. "If you suddenly turn good then we'll give it back."
"Hey, I can always have a real one in another four years," she pointed out dryly.
"And we'd support you and offer all sorts of advice while *you* raised it," Xander said happily, patting her on the back. "He won't be hurt in my pocket."
"Fine," she pouted. "He's my baby! It's not like I play with dolls, or the other girls."
"If I should catch you trying to feel up Lotus, I'll kill you," Goemon reminded her.
"Eww. I'm not gay! I like boys quite a lot, I simply can't find a current use for them. Give me back my son or else, father."
"Only if you suddenly learn manners," Jigen reminded her.
She growled and started to pull a weapon but Ishi stopped her before it got out of the holster. "Mine!"
"I think she's just snapped. Let her have the ferret back," Ishi said impatiently. "Before I have to throw her out of the car for pulling a weapon."
"Pat her down first," Goemon suggested.
"She can't shoot us, kiddo, we haven't gotten a trust fund set up for her yet and her birth certificates are locked in the safe, plus they'd ask her mother and her mother probably doesn't remember having her." He looked in the mirror at his daughter. "Which means that you'd be living with whoever was left, which might be Fujiko with how good of a shot you're not." He looked at the road again, avoiding a cart with hay as he sped past it and the donkey pulling it. He tooted the horn happily. "Guys, convent school?"
"I'd have to corrupt all the nuns," Arsene said dryly, smirking at him. "My child?" Xander handed him back. "Thank you." She stroked the soft fur, nuzzling the soft baby gently. "You are so adorable. Yes, the mommy will definitely kill for you. Yes she will," she cooed. "You're more than worth it to the mommy since you're the only kid I'll ever have, unless I want to drive my parents insane."
Xander laughed. "I'm sure it wouldn't do that. After all, we survived you, dear."
"Yes, but I'd be teaching my child," she reminded him smugly. "Each and every little thing I've ever wanted to do and didn't would come out without parents there to monitor his or her behavior."
Lupin pulled over and looked back at her. "If you tried that, we would take the child from you," he said, staring her down. "And then we'd make sure that you spent the rest of your life in a little white padded room in a very pretty jacket with buckles. After all, you're close enough to psychotic to justify it now. Now, either you will behave or you will be sorry. I haven't even *begun* to put my imagination to work on your behavior. Do we have a clear understanding?"
"You know, one of the kitsune's visitors were elves," Xander said casually. "Very Tolkeinish elves."
Goemon looked at him. "That would get us invaded."
"Prissy people in tights don't scare me, father," she said patiently.
"Honey, prissy people in tights with a superiority complex that Goemon could have, magnified by six or seven hundred percent, in an exclusionist society with a lot of rules about honor and proper conduct. A whole race of people who make Goemon look like a five-year-old you on a sugar rush, when he's meditating. And that's the average. I'm sure I can ask my buddy to ask them to find us a nanny just for you," he said, pinching her on the cheek with a smirk. "One who'll follow you everywhere. One who'll teach you all the greatest womanly arts, like dancing and sewing." She shuddered. "One who'll focus solely on you and your baby there, to make you into one of them - a stiff, very strong, elfish woman."
She let out a quiet whimper. "Please don't, daddy. Please?" She gave him a pitiful look. "I swear, I vow it on thieves honor, that I will try harder to behave. I swear I will, just please don't get me an elven nanny!" She started to cry, hugging him.
"I doubt she'd follow us out on jobs," Jigen pointed out dryly. "So we'd either have to send her to another hideout and visit, or go back on long-term vacation."
Lupin shuddered. "Xander, that's too evil a thought for this family. Are you sure you're not a Luthor in disguise?"
"Quite," he said smugly, patting Arsene on the back. Her baby squealed so he picked it up and put it on Ishi's lap. "Here, pet the grandchild." He continued to soothe her. "Do we have an understanding, Arsene?"
"Yes, daddy," she said weakly. "I'll try to do better. I really will." She gave him a long, wet eyed look. "I'm so sorry. Sometimes the fun gets out of hand."
He gave her a gentle hug. "I understand. Next time learn to think first." He looked at Lupin. "You're keeping me off the beach and from getting a tan." Lupin chuckled as he started the car, getting them back onto the road. "You know, the elves are fantastic climbers and archers," he noted. "It wouldn't be such a bad idea."
"No, Xander," everyone in the car said, meaning it as well.
Later that night, Dawn looked up as Ray walked into the office and slammed the door. "I've got part of an email for you."
"From?" he asked, leaning against the front of his desk.
"Xander. He said the idea that you were mumbling during the convention was more than worth it and he thanks you because it worked. An elven nanny for Arsene, alone, was a good idea and it seems to have worked wonders on her behavior. Also, he sent Zenny a picture of Arsene Lupin the Fifth, the only child she plans on having," she said with a smirk.
"She's not old enough to get pregnant yet!" he said angrily. She turned on her monitor and let him see the picture. He burst out in giggles.
"I think was her father's idea as well. From what we were told, in the airport. Oh, and the stewardesses hit on Ishi and Xander to give them some in the bathroom on the flight."
"Is Ishi all right?"
"Oh, yeah, he was very polite when he turned them down. They were really impressed with the little samurai." She smirked. "You missed another fight demonstration. Someone mailed you a copy of it, in Lupin's handwriting."
"Yeah, Teddy said I missed it," he sighed, picking up the package from the desk and opening it to put it into the VCR. He watched the obvious security camera footage with a smirk. Those kids were great. "Ishi does a great Yoda," he noted.
She laughed, then suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth and ran to be sick.
"That is why your husband is presently drunk," he called after her. He went back to watching his tape, smirking at the kids as they pounced Jonas. He rewound it when his teammates came in. "Hey, guys. We've got Ishi pulling a Yoda and Xander being Goemon on tape if you wanted to watch it. It's from the con."
Vecchio, Fraser, and Myron Banks all sat down to watch the tape. "Where's Dawnie?" Ray Vecchio asked.
"Gettin' sick. Her husband is in for one hell of a surprise. Think we should get her a test?"
"I dropped one off in the women's bathroom on the way in," Myron said with a grin for him. "They're good."
"The sad thing is, Xan's a gunman, not a sword guy. That's his fun."
"Plus the costumes," Fraser noted. "Didn't you say one was technical, Ray?"
"I did," Ray K said happily. "He's been doing Biker Mice with robotics in the tails." Myron gaped at him, an awestruck look on his face. "So far we've seen Vinnie and Throttle."
"Hell," Myron agreed. "Yeah, he is one of them." He shook his head and went back to watching. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, look on Dawnie's monitor. Arsene has chosen her successor. It's a picture of Lupin the Fifth."
Myron canceled the screensaver and then burst out in giggles. "I'm sure the ferret suits their lifestyle very well," Fraser noted calmly, smiling a bit. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, I was mumbling that an elf should be a good thing to switch to next year and he took it as an idea to get that one calmed down. He threatened Arsene with an elven nanny if she didn't straighten up. He said it worked," he said smugly.
"They exist?" Ray Vecchio asked bitterly.
"As far as Xander assumed, I'm guessin' so," he agreed smugly. "Seems to have calmed down Lupin the Fourth. Between that and her kid, maybe we'll see a normal little girl."
Dawn walked in and glared at them. "Where is my mother-fucking asshole of a husband?"
"The bar up the street with a few of the guys," Fraser said primly, frowning at her.
"Thank you. He and I need to have a knock-down, drag it out into the street sorta fight."
"Then the test was positive?" Myron asked dryly, smirking at her. She glared at him and he flinched. "Don't worry 'bout it, Dawnie, he loves kids."
"I don't think we need more!" she said hysterically. She went to find her husband, stunning the guys in the bar as she walked in, with her badge on her waist. "Husband!" she snapped. He gave her a sheepish look. "You couldn't tell me?"
"Well, no, I was hoping it wasn't what I was thinking," he offered gently, sounding almost hopeful.
"I'm fucking well pregnant! How much worse can it get?"
"It could be Lupin's," one smartass in the corner said with a smirk for her.
"Honey, it'd probably be Lavelle's not his," she retorted, making him fall off his chair. She looked at her spouse again, who looked stunned. "It was a long time ago," she defended. "So not the point however. I'm knocked up. I can't help you on chases and things. Hello, bad things that could make the world end for some of us."
"It won't," he promised, pulling her closer to hold her until she calmed down. "I always loved you when you were pregnant," he whispered in her ear, earning a swat. "You were pretty and glowing. I loved to tease you. Don't you remember?" She swatted him again but it was weaker; he had done that in that other timeline each and every time. "Plus, I'll get paternity leave and the kids'll help you a lot," he promised, smiling at her. "Drive me home so we can celebrate?"
"Oh, no. Not a chance. I saw what Fujiko looked like when Goemon decided to celebrate the last one. You're not doing that to me." She backed away from him, so he pounced and kissed her as best he could, making her melt against his chest. "Fine, but I don't want to get whiplash from my head hitting the walls." The other cops laughed. "I got pictures from Lavelle. Arsene's found an heir. Lupin the Fifth is quite adorable, in a manner of speaking." Zenigata didn't even hear her, he was busy nibbling on her neck. "Fine, you can celebrate, but you can't do it here."
"Drive him home," the bartender suggested.
"I rode my bike." She waved off his keys. "He'll get 'em tomorrow." She walked her mate out to her bike, getting him onto the back so he could rub against her while the whole- body vibrator rode them home. After they had made it past all the kids and into their room, the door was firmly locked and the kids were kept away from the celebration.
Later that night, Zenigata sat up in bed and stared at his wife.
"Again?" she moaned. "You wore me out, Zenny."
"Lupin the *Fifth*?" he demanded. "She's eight."
"Nine then. She's much too young to have anything like that happen! Did her father kill the bastard or do I have to? Because I will. People like that make me ill, no matter how bad the future mother is!"
She sat up and kissed him to stop the tirade. "She was yanking their chains, Zenny. It's a ferret. A baby ferret."
He scowled. "A ferret?"
She nodded, smirking at him. "And Lupin had a sudden flash of horror when he heard her calling for him."
"I would too. That's a horrible thought. The world would end if there were three of them alive at the same time." He kissed her gently. "Thank you, Dawn," he said as soon as he had to breathe. He laid a gentle hand on her stomach. "This one will surely catch their grandkids."
She swatted his hand. "Behave. Our kids won't have to be cops. I'll expect one to have my grace and skills."
He smirked. "Of course. They're good skills for cops." He kissed her again, pulling her back under the covers with him. "We'll even let Benny teach it tracking and Ray how to dress. I might even let Myron and the other one take it to the conventions with him." He made his wife squeal with one covered hand and he smirked at her. "Too bad it's already happened. If not, you would be by tomorrow morning."
"I'm not a baby machine."
"Of course you're not, you're just an excellent mother," he soothed as he entered her. "You look wonderful while you're pregnant. Even when you're pasty and pale from the morning sickness." He worked himself in and out of her body, making her clutch at his arms. "Calm down, I've got the stamina of a much younger man now," he assured her with a wink. "There's nothing that's going to stop me before the sun comes up."
She moaned and arched up against his body. "More, Zenny!"
"Coming, dear," he assured her happily. He loved his wife this way.
To Part 36