Note: an idea in here from Neverwill. The trip club was his idea.
Xander looked at the various options. "We have to fix the pool in Denver."
Wade, who had known Xander for almost two years now, was getting a bad feeling. "You can't build a water park." He went back to his magazine reading. Xander had the new _Military Ordinance_ magazine.
"Yes I can."
"No you can't. You'd have to let others in to use it."
Xander considered it. "Next door? I do own that pesky four acres from that poker debt." Wade gave him an odd look. "It'd be good for the city."
"I want Larabee's opinion on that idea. Beyond that, I've already hired someone to come out to fix the pool." Xander grinned at him. "No hugging, Xander."
"Fine." He called him. "Hi, Vin. I was calling Chris. Wade said I had to get his permission to turn that four acres I won in the poker game into a water park. Yeah, like slides and a huge pond and things. Maybe a river ride....." He listened. "Exactly." He grinned. "Vin said it's not a bad idea. They don't have one locally as far as he knows."
"Uh-huh. That means running a business, Xander. Including dealing with employees, health department regulations, all that."
"I can hire someone to run it, Wade." He listened to Vin. "That's what he wanted, yeah. Thanks, Vin." He hung up. "He'll tell Chris and have him email."
"That's fine. Yours is bouncing though." Xander got up to get into it so he could clear it out. Wade shook his head. The kid was so backed up again. Apparently Wolfe had overtime too. Finally the hormone stink started to make him react. "C'mon, we'll go to the GHS brothel." Xander pouted. "It's clear that nothing happened last night," he said sarcastically. Xander shrugged. "So let's go."
"Yup, so we can do that then you can look over your new workshop." Xander nodded, letting Wade drive even. So he knew he was backed up. Wade rolled his eyes where Xander couldn't see. Because then he'd pout too. Once his boss was suitably entertained, Wade called Wolfe to make sure he was going to be making it home that night. If not, Wade was going to hide from the hormones tomorrow. Xander wandered out a few hours later looking comfortable and smiling. "Workshop?" Wade suggested.
"That'll work." He took him home and let him wander in to sleep on the couch. Wade checked the workshop area. It was done as far as he could see. He had supplies waiting. He went back into the house to watch some tv.
"We need to start working on rooms for the kids."
Wade gave him an odd look. "What?"
"Rooms for the kids. Plus maybe a treehouse out at the farm." He considered it.
"Are you going to do one of those yuppie, spoiling the kid sort of rooms?" Wade asked.
"Yup," Xander quipped with a grin. "I'm thinking castle. It's good for boys or girls. It'll grow with them. It can have built in play areas." He mentally sketched things out. "I need to see what I can get online. Jensen sent me some pictures of fantasy beds so I could see the Millennium Falcon bed someone made."
"I doubt you could turn your heavy antique bed into one," Wade quipped.
"No for a hidey hole or one of the backup houses, Wade," he sighed. Wade snorted, shaking his head. "I'll show you the one I was thinking about." Xander picked up his laptop to find that email message. "That."
He looked then at the kid. "So it could be a set of bunkbeds or it could just be one bed and a play area?"
Xander nodded, starting to sketch out ideas for that. "See, castle bed, castle walls with things like shelves and places for toys. We can pad the upper level for the play area/second bed level. I can't find that particular one on their site but I'm sure it'll be easy enough to redo." Wade just nodded slowly. Xander grinned. "We can paint it nicely with animals like they have the few rabbits. Maybe make them protective charms. A huge rug."
"You realize the kids can't walk yet, right?"
"Yup." He grinned. "It'll be fine."
"They're going to scream," Wade corrected. "Speed and Horatio hate you spoiling the kids. Adam wouldn't let you either. Beyond that, which room are you taking up?"
"The empty one on the right." He grinned. "With the balcony." He called both sets of parents on a shared conference call. "I'm setting up a room for the kids."
"No you're not," Ray ordered.
"Yes I am. It's my house and they stay over enough to need their own room. It'll be a castle theme, so appropriate for girls or boys. Have play areas, a huge bed with an option for a second one, and plenty of shelves. And I'm working on a treehouse at the farm."
Speed coughed. "They're not old enough to need that yet," Speed complained lightly.
"So?" Xander said dryly. "By the time they are it'll be ready for them. That way they have a safe place to play. The farm's protected. I'll be sure to put in things in case they get scared. Plus plenty of places to roam, play, make believe, and all that stuff."
"Xander, you know we hate it when you spoil the kids," Ray said firmly.
Xander snorted. "Unless I'm adopting some, yours are as close as I'm getting. What else am I going to do with the money I have? And beyond that, I'm making damn sure the kids have things I never did." He hung up on them. "Fine, the castle room's going to be grand." Wade just nodded. Xander showed him the ideas. "We can do most of that with paint and a few shelves. Maybe some plywood. So I can build most of those. The bed.... I'd need a template and some measurements for the bed."
"How would you change sheets on that bed? It's totally enclosed."
"The same way I do with mine? Climb in to do the far side?"
"Good point. Let's see what sort of plans you can find."
Xander nodded, petting the dogs while he typed one-handed at jensen. He could find anything online. Xander was even thinking about a higher walkway so the kids could stare out two levels of the windows. And maybe even a rope swing. The ceiling was nearly nine feet in there. More than enough room.
Wade watched this conflict in the making. It was going to turn into an inter-family war. Which was one of his small pleasures in life.
Ray hung up and scowled at Don. "Your boy's being an asshole."
Don stared at him. "What did he do?"
"He's making the kids some sort of fantasy tree house and room at the house."
"Good. It'll give him something to wear himself out on until we work things out." Ray gaped, then got up and huffed off.
Frank shook his head. "How big can it be?"
"He's back in Xander plan land probably." Frank shuddered. "Looks like that empty room we have is no longer empty." Speed stomped out. "What theme did he pick?" he joked.
"Well, knights, princesses.... weapons, honor, that stuff," Don decided.
"Very Xander," Frank agreed.
"We'd like him to quit spoiling the kids," Speed complained.
"Then I'd get him to adopt a few," Frank quipped back. "That might lessen it some."
Speed huffed. "We need to scale back his expectations."
"You know his trouble buddies," Don reminded him. "Talk to them."
Speed nodded, walking off calling Jensen. Jensen sent back an email address since he was on his smartphone. Speed looked at the castle picture in that spread, tipping his head to the side. "That's not horrible. Not too spoiling." He went to show Ray. "This is what he's thinking for the bedroom."
Ray snatched the phone to look and grimaced. "Still too fancy for a kid of mine. I want my kid to be a normal kid."
"He will be," Horatio reminded him, smiling at the picture. "I was thinking she might like a princess room when she's older." Speed gave him a dirty look. "Most girls do like the princess things, even if they don't like Disney. He could probably include shelves for toys or books. That has that upper level as a second bed or a play area. A slide, a set of stairs."
"You can't change the bed," Ray complained.
"You can probably open the front or something," Speed pointed out. "He can put lights in there for a nightlight or a reading area. That empty room upstairs has the balcony."
"The kids are still too young and don't need it," Ray told him.
Horatio patted him on the shoulder. "Whether or not we like it, Xander is one of their favorite uncles and he will spoil them. If we want to limit how much he spoils them, then we should set limits, not say no." Ray grimaced, walking off calling his lover again.
Apparently Adam wasn't going to agree with him by the look on Ray's face.
Adam walked into the house with the baby, who Xander stole to snuggle while he napped. "What were we planning?" Wade showed him the picture. "That's not too bad." He sat down. "Xander?" He got a hum back. "Took him to the brothel?" Adam asked more quietly, getting a nod and a smirk from Wade. "Good. He probably needed it." He patted Xander on the leg until he got blinked at. "There shall be nothing in that room that requires adult supervision. Which means no upper tier walkway or anything like that." Xander shrugged but nodded. "And you'll have to do something about the balcony to make it much safer."
"We're going to drape it with bug netting, like Ryan does his."
"That won't prevent them from climbing up onto the railing and falling."
"A screen door?"
"That would be more acceptable as long as it locked." He smiled. "What's this I hear about a treehouse?" Xander smirked. "Do not spoil him too much, Xander. We want Toby and Mellie to be normal children and not spoiled, whining things like the children in your economic class tend to be. Remember, their parents are normals, though one of us is exceptional."
"Coming to my house is a treat but the treehouse is going out at the farm."
"That's handy and you can expand a bit out there." Xander nodded. "No overt spoiling." Xander stuck his tongue out and cuddled the baby more. "We'll see about that one when they're old enough to use it."
"Treehouse, tent, playhouse?"
"That may be a nice combination, depending on how its done. We'll see since it'll be at least a year before they're ready for it."
"It'll take me that long to plan it out and grow the trees stronger," Xander said.
"Even better." He stared at him. "Are you making the bed frame?"
"I looked on that place's website and didn't see that exact bed," Wade told him. "Apparently it was custom made."
Xander shrugged. "I can do it."
"They can do it faster and cheaper, without having to pause for your hormones," Wade countered. Xander considered it then nodded. "So we'll let them do it while you paint?"
"I paint sucky pictures."
"There's a few in the poker circle who do a nice job," Adam said. Xander grinned and nodded. "Nothing too ornate. Ray's very worried that Toby will end up one of those spoiled brats. Or cling to you more than us."
"You're his daddies, he's being paranoid for no reason. Coming here is a special treat."
"Yes it is," Adam agreed. "But Ray has always been a bit frantic about such things."
"That's because Ray spent way too long undercover," Xander shot back.
"Also true." He smirked. "Also, whatever protections you have on that bed, do not let them be something like the squirrel's picture popping out to attack an intruder. I wouldn't want my son to see a rabid squirrel."
"I'd let it stay at passive, blocking sort of protections, not attacking ones."
"Even better." He held out his hands. "Toby?" Toby smiled and waved then snuggled in. "He does seem to be attached to you," Adam said dryly.
"He knows I cuddle and read to him," Xander quipped. "He'll want to go home later."
"Good." He settled in once he found a children's book. Toby crawled over Xander to get daddy to read to him. He smiled. "Thank you, son." He settled him in his lap to read. Someone pounded so Wade went to answer the door, coming back with Mellie. Toby squealed at his buddy and waved, getting one back. "Something happen?"
"Yeah, the daycare she was in got raided by some crackhead." He handed her to Xander, who got a cuddle but she went to the book reader. Wade smirked. "I guess they'll cuddle later."
"That's fine," Xander said through a yawn. "Tell Speed?"
"I can do that." He escaped the domestic, cute, fluffy feeling in the living room to call from the office. "Speed, Wade. We have Mellie. One of the poker circuit brought her. No, not at a game. Her daycare had crackheads. Being read to by Adam." He hung up and went to make him and Adam a snack. Toby looked then stared at him. "You're too little to eat those." He handed him a few banana chips he had gotten from the bag. Toby and Mellie both happily sucked on them.
Adam looked then at Xander. "The naturalists shop?" Xander hummed and nodded. Adam stole one to nibble on then some of his popcorn, going back to reading. When he was done the kids went up to cuddle the uncle until the dogs woke up. Kiss and Ramses would make sure the kids woke up when they did so they could play. Hershey would whine at them until they woke up but Kiss would do a tongue attack until they woke up while Ramses nudged with his nose.
Wade shook his head. He knew Xander was in bad mind planning land so he had to be ready for it. There was no telling what he'd think about next time.
Jensen looked at the bulletin board for the American GHS society. "I don't know why we don't have a travel club," he muttered as he typed in, being a member of the retrieval team meant that he had to provide some sense. "Clay!" he bellowed. They had a new neighbor but they could ignore it. Clay walked in a minute later. "Xander asked if the society has a travel club."
Clay blinked a few times. "He's not allowed to travel without commandos of some sort or another."
"He was thinking a ghs and their keeper or guards." He showed him the entry.
"I like how he said Wade was complaining about Tibet," he said dryly. "I would too."
"If they do form one, who'd have to go? One of us? Wade?"
"Wade for Xander definitely. I don't know. I'll talk to Paul and Soshar since he's technically in charge still." He went to his place to call him. "Soshar, Clay. Fast question since I can hear the kid whining for something. Xander suggested a GHS travel club." He heard the shudder and moan. "Would the retrieval teams have to send a member? Would it be like conventions? Or would they have to hire their own protection? Please do. Yeah, on the bulletin board. Jensen found it. Thanks, man." He hung up and went to shower off that nasty thought. Before it took root and grew in his skin.
It was a disaster in the making. Especially where Xander was suggesting they go.
"Hell no you can't go to Tibet," Wade said when Xander answered the phone. "There's no way I'd let you go to China. Not even with a troop of commandos and special ops people."
"Tibet's next to China," Xander said, sounding tired.
"It's being held by China. They like to arrest people for no reason. They don't particularly like gay men either. I don't want to have to break you out of a Chinese jail, Xander."
"I was thinking about catching up with Oz and he's over there."
"He can come to India. If you get to go."
Xander huffed. "The other GHS Xander liked it a lot."
"Great. We'd still have to take a whole troop with us."
"Okay, and the problem with that is?" Xander asked. "I have time. You have time. Others in the society can join in for a week or a weekend or whatever they want to do. It'll be like a traveling club full of people who understand our special needs."
"True," Wade said, sounding cautious. "But you'd still have to travel with more guards. You're not allowed out of the country without me or some commando."
"I'd bring you anyway," Xander pointed out. "And Anya if you wanted us to." Wade snorted. "You could hire a few more guards to help if we needed to. I can't spend all of this year's poker winnings in the next decade. It'll be good and fun and I'd get to *travel*, Wade."
"I get that, kid. I'll talk with Clay and Adam. For now, don't get your hopes up. It might take longer to set things up than you want. We have to be *real* conscious about your safety. We'll talk to a travel agency tomorrow about great places to visit, including the ones that other Xander told you he liked."
"Cool! We can visit the house in Italy?"
"Probably, yeah. And Mexico. If the group's small enough we can all stay there. Give us some time to make some plans and security precautions. Okay?"
"Yup. Thank you for not putting the idea down."
"It's not a bad idea. You're going to be around for a long time. You should get to know this planet before some alien steals your hair," he said dryly then hung up. He called Soshar, getting a pissy wife. "Is Soshar in, Melinda? Wade, Xander's assistant. Yeah, about the traveling idea. Thank you." He waited and Soshar took the phone, one of his kids babbling at it.
"I've gotten through to him about him needing more security than just me. He's thinking of places based on what another Xander he met liked when he traveled. Plus his house in Italy, Canada, and Mexico probably. I've talked him out of Tibet to check on Oz." He smirked. "No, it was another GHS Xander in another realm," he said dryly.
"They held a convention of Xander's. Bad guy Xanders, CSI Xanders, one who was the president. A thief and gunman Xander. There were two other GHS Xanders there. That's why he's doing jewelry work now. That's what he was thinking, we could hire someone. Yeah, I know you need more retrieval team members. It'd be a good test to hire from them.
"Most of the time they'd get to know Xander and like the goofy kid the same way I did. Sure, I'm having him talk to a travel agent tomorrow or so. We'll work on security arrangements with Clay. Between him and the guy doing property management in Denver.... Yeah, that house. No, the security company's boss ran from the IRS and the guards fled. And one tried to attack him. Exactly. So we'll deal with it. Thanks. Sure, a week's fine, Soshar. No, he was happy I didn't shoot him down directly. Yup, they broke up. I don't know. Sure. A week. We'll have dinner. I'll make reservations." He hung up and went to find some aspirin. "Anya, Xander's thinking about traveling."
She gave him an odd look. "He's always wanted to travel. That's why he went on the two road trips."
"No, I'm talking international travel."
"Oh." She grimaced and shook her head. "Have fun. Can you unlock my vibrators before you go?"
"It'll be a while before everything's planned. I'll think about it though." She pouted. He smirked. "It'll be more than a week." She sulked. "He said you can come with us," he said patiently. "We'll be going to India at the least. He wants to meet up with Oz."
She shook her head. "I've been all over this world, Wade."
"So have I but the kid wants to go and that's my job. Hopefully we won't end up in one of the armpits of the universe again. I've seen enough of those."
"I can agree with that," she sighed. "I answered a lot of calls in those areas. Don't forget his passport."
"I think he has one." He shot off an email to Jensen from his phone and sat down to relax and let Anya pamper him.
She teased his neck. "Can you unlock my vibrators anyway? I didn't get anything while you were gone."
He gave her a long stare. "Liar. I saw the new ones."
"It's my allowance."
He spanked her lightly, earning a moan. "I can cut you off again."
"Then I'd definitely have to disappoint you, Wade."
He shuddered and moved away from her. "You sounded like Max."
"Sorry." She wiggled closer, trapping him against the arm of the couch. "It's like you're tired of sex with me. Should I go learn new dirty things?"
"I think you know plenty of things that get me hot," he said dryly. She squealed and got up to dance for him, which he did like. It was very relaxing and she even stripped during it.
Horatio took the file from Clay. "Which one of Xander's contacts is it this time?"
"If that piece of shit is on his contact list, I'd be shocked," Clay told him. "Xander has better taste than that guy."
Horatio flipped it open, humming in displeasure. "Where?"
"Low rent for someone like him."
"Probably not here for long," Clay warned.
Horatio looked at him. "I'll have someone make sure of his room reservation." Clay smirked back. "Is there other family news? You don't look pleased." He shifted to be able to look around them better then back at the other man.
"Xander suggested a traveling club for GHS."
"I know he'd like to do more traveling."
Clay looked at him. "It might be a nightmare, Horatio."
"Possibly but he does have Wade."
"Who's been fighting with Anya. And she doesn't want to travel."
"I see. Then we'd hear her complaining more." Clay nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. He and I have talked, because I had no idea they had left him there for three days." Clay smirked. "Though he's still a bit upset with me he'll forgive me for Mellie's sake he said."
"That's probably a great thing. Though Wade's still getting virtual hives from the kids according to Jensen."
"I can understand why." He smiled. "You might warn Jensen, and possibly Cougar or Pooch, that Xander is working on a play house set for the farm. We'd like him to make it reasonably non-spoiling but I believe I've already lost that battle."
"Probably, yeah. Since he was asking Jensen what sort of buildings and playhouses the kids would want."
"Could be," Clay quipped with an evil smirk for him. "Suck it up. Even we get spoiled. He sent over groceries the other day."
"I think that was him cleaning out his pantry."
"That's what Jolene thought too but she has no idea what half that stuff is. Also, how is Wolfe doing?"
"He's exhausted," Horatio admitted more quietly. "And I know he didn't wear Xander out last night. I've already gotten a complaining text from Wade."
"I'll send Jensen over. Somehow he managed to keep him down during that trip."
"Danger can push it down."
"Xander had to be so soaked with it during that off-realm part of the trip, Pooch said he nearly scratched himself skinless. And while in LA he got him fully unblocked."
"Interesting. If they want, I know Xander has him on his play list and considers him a great friend."
"They're like twins," Clay said sarcastically. "But I won't let my goofy tech support kid grow his hair out." Horatio smirked at him. "Anyway, the traveling club is looking like a tour group that you can join for a week at a time if you want. He's suggested some pretty odd places. Wade told him no on Tibet. Which I'm happy about."
"I didn't know Xander liked monasteries that much."
"Oz is there."
"That's a good reason but perhaps he can come out to meet with him."
"Rumor has another immortal snapped and is after him."
"That would be Duncan from what we've been told," Horatio complained. "The same one that attacked them in New York."
"Huh. Well, I'll get a dossier on him. Or Adam would probably know?"
"I believe that's the one he keeps calling a boy scout."
"Oh, him. Charming." He nodded at the woman strolling their way. "Ma'am," he said when she paused.
She stared at him. "Colonel Clay."
"Do I know you?" he asked, sounding tired.
"No, and I'm very thankful for it. That would have made my immortal years excruciatingly hard." Clay snickered and nodded. "Is Methos around?"
"At home probably." He called him. "There's a pretty brunette immortal here who wanted to know if you were home, Methos." He winced at the yelling. "I'll tell Horatio that Ray'll be late." He hung up. "He and Ray were enjoying some quiet moments while Xander has his son."
"He has a son?" she demanded, looking confused. "Since when?"
"Since a friend of the group's gave birth about eight months ago," Horatio told her.
Horatio stared at her. "You look familiar. I've seen you on a wanted poster?"
"Perhaps," she admitted with a charming smile. "But I'm mostly a good girl. I was doing a favor for Xander."
"If you're Amanda and you have that cursed choker, keep it away from Jensen."
"That's not a problem. I tried it on and horrified myself greatly." Clay cackled, nodding. "I take it you know why?"
"I've met Lavelle for a few minutes."
"Ah, yes. I heard that story." She handed over her bag. "I believe that should be in safe keeping, including the discs in there. Where might the old man be?"
"He's probably still at home with Ray trying to calm him down." He wrote down the address for her, getting a smile and her walking off. He checked, the necklace bag was in there. There were four thin CD cases and a lipstick. "I don't want to know why she gave us lipstick."
"I might like those discs though," Horatio said. "I conveniently brought my mobile crime lab hummer with me as well."
"Horatio, people take bets about whether or not you let Speed sleep in the house or make him sleep in your hummer," Clay said dryly, staring at him.
Horatio smirked. "No, we have a delightful room. I'd never let him sleep in the hummer. It has cameras." Clay snorted but they walked over to it to test that lipstick and run the discs. What they saw was bad but interesting. "I did not know Wade was that evil."
"Apparently he's slightly reformed," Clay said. "But yeah, we ran into him on assignment before. He also said the Canadian government sent him to some dominatrix training center to learn how to torture before they gave him to Max."
"That's ...disturbing," Horatio said. Clay nodded. "I do hope he'd never think about that here."
"Xander would kill him."
"True. Which is a nice reason to let Xander keep holding his leash I suppose." He ran the other discs, all but the one that said 'single use only' on the sticker. That he took back to the lab to run and have it saved down in other ways. Again, some very...interesting information that was turning his stomach. Jensen came down to get copies for everyone. "Where is the necklace?"
"In Jolene's safety deposit box." Jensen grinned. "He had Cougar try it on to make sure it was the right one. Cougar's now drunk." Horatio smirked and nodded, understanding that urge. "But he was pretty." He showed him the picture he had secretly taken. "It compensates for beards and everything."
"Remember, if you put it on someone you have to take it off them."
"I will but I see no need to do that experiment myself."
"Yeah, me either. I'd miss my dick." He bounced out once he had the information.
Horatio shook his head but smiled. "They are like twins sometimes." He went to tell Speed that people were wondering if he had to sleep in the hummer again. It always...amused Speed when they thought that. It gave him some very wicked ideas, which Horatio would hopefully benefit from.
Adam opened the door, staring at her. "You got it?"
"Yes and then I made the mistake of trying it on and horrifying myself." She shook her head as she walked in. "I'll never wonder again." He laughed. "Hi, Ray."
"'Manda," he said with a sleepy nod.
She smiled. "Did I interrupt your wake up?" she teased. "I can come back after lunch."
"First day off in weeks," he told her. "Who has Toby?"
"Toby and his protective mutt are with his uncle today," Adam told him. She gave him a funny look. "We had a familiar show up for our son."
"Ooooh," she said with a wince. "A real one?" Adam nodded. "Poor kid."
"He's fine," Ray assured her before finishing his coffee. Adam got him some more and the bag of candy. He grinned as he made it his special way. "If you're taking my man, make him swear some more so I get nookie later."
"I'll try not to horrify him that much." He smirked, heading back to bed with his coffee.
Adam shook his head. "How's the insane one? And Richie?"
"Mac's off again. He's after Oz."
"Oz is in Tibet."
"Crap. He's headed to India."
"I'll have to make sure that Xander's latest insane plan doesn't cross his path." He sat down. "How are things otherwise? I talked to Joe yesterday and let Toby babble at him."
"He told me he had talked to a baby, but not that it was yours."
Adam smirked. "I would've sent you an announcement but you closed your bar." She nodded, sitting down and getting comfortable. At least until someone outside shot at something. Then Adam got up and opened th door. "I'm telling Xander!" he shouted. The idiot children sped off. He called dispatch and Horatio directly. Then he sat back down again.
"Xander has that sort of attention?" she asked.
"He does play poker with a great number of the underground and former agents we have locally," he said dryly. "They all seem to respect him for his hair." She giggled. "I find that threat usually works."
"Probably, yeah." She smirked at him. "Have you heard there's people pushing that it's gathering time again?"
"Yes," he complained. "They're still wrong."
"Yes, but sometimes you have to thin the herd a bit."
Adam texted Xander's phone. He got back a response from Wade's phone. "Wade said three have come for Xander and he's handled it very quickly and quietly. It's nice he didn't tell the rest of us that."
"Isn't he a berserker like Oz?"
"Yes." He looked at her. "He also tends to take his challenges with his iPod when he's backed up." She laughed. "It keeps him from being too distracted. We did set down the rule that he has to take them with a witness just in case they have to stop him."
"That's a good idea," she agreed. "I'm sure the others hate it."
"Until they hear why. That does seem to cut them down," he said sarcastically, making her giggle. "So, how is your Nick toy?"
"Worried that Xander will take our son. Or spoil him too much."
"I'm sure he'll get it at the right level. Xander seems to have sense from what little I've talked to him."
"You two talked?" Adam asked.
"He appeared in Seacouver to find me one night and we sat down to talk. Stunned Joe to no end."
"That's because he's not supposed to be out alone," he told her.
"Joe was mostly stunned that demons came in to listen to him play the blues." She smiled when he groaned. "We were fine for the hour-long chat. He even told me about his other self and the convention."
"That's an idea that tends to warp brains all around Miami."
"Yes, mine too. Oh, Duncan's still insane if I forgot earlier. I had to knock him out when Xander showed up."
"That doesn't surprise me after their last run-in." He rolled his eyes. "Xander pouted for days that he didn't get to kill Connor."
"He sneered at Duncan when he woke up. One of the demons poisoned him so he went back out. I'm about to consider electroshock for him."
"I have a wonderful car battery," he offered with a smile.
She smirked back. "Don't tempt me." He laughed and nodded. The door opened and the baby crawled in with the dog behind him. Then the door was closed. "Who?" she asked with a point.
He looked at the note pinned to his son's shirt. "Wade." He picked him up and took the note off to read it. "Xander had to take a challenge from someone stupid. The other sitters are all out of town so he'll try to repossess him later." He kissed his son on the head then turned him around. "Toby, this is Amanda."
She smiled and wiggled her fingers, getting a smile and a wave back. "You're very smart, Toby. Ray name him?"
"Yes." He smirked. "He's very bright. His uncle helps by taking him to poker circuit events, cultural events, and to the spa." She cackled. He looked at his son. "Your other father is napping. Want to go rest with him?" The baby blinked at him. He got up and took the baby in to Ray. Toby let out a loud squeal and wiggled until he got put onto the bed so he could pounce the other daddy. Ray snuffled him and pulled him to cuddle. Adam went back to the living room, flopping down. "He's in my room, mutt." The dog went to check his food bowl. He barked at it for daring to be empty and eating his food. Adam sighed, getting up to feed him. "Did Xander's mutts tire you out that much?" he complained. He could hear Amanda giggling. He went back out there once he had some water. "Ray thinks the mutt thinks his bowl eats his food on him."
"Dogs are a bit weird. I didn't expect you to have something that... hairy."
"I did not pick the dog. The dog picked the son." He saluted her with the bottle of water. Ray yelped. "Xander had a challenge. All the other sitters were gone."
"Dog, I'd fucking run!" Ray shouted. It ran out to hide under the couch. The couch rocked because it was still a hairy collie cross and huge. He came out to the door. "He decided my ass was food." He went back to bed. Toby was snoring just like his other father did. It was adorable. He recorded it on his phone and used it as a ringtone. Then he went back to sleep.
Adam shook his head, gulping his water. Amanda was curled up laughing. "Miami never closes as Horatio says." She had to run to find the bathroom.
Xander came back from the challenge, which had run from him. "Wade, any new news?"
"The pool out there is fixed and you still can't put in a water park. There's one a few miles from Denver." Xander pouted. "Tough, kid." He smirked. "It'll take a while to get that traveling group set up."
"I was thinking it'd be nice to go sooner."
"We can do a trial with a cruise," Wade offered. "With just us and whoever wants to come along. That way we can see any problems with little chance of failure. Of course, someone would have to feed the dogs for about five days."
"We could take the Winchesters."
"True, you could," he agreed. "There's a few shorter ones." Xander nodded. "Who would watch the dogs?"
"I don't know." He petted the mutts sleeping around him. "I love you guys." Wade smirked at him. "I do, until I can adopt they're the kids."
"I get that."
"Anyway," he sighed. He looked at the dogs then at him. "Has Don said anything...." He pointed at Hershey and Kiss. Wade shook his head. "Not to anyone?"
"Not that I've heard. You got custody of the kids in the split."
"I guess. Not that I'd let him have them. They'd never get walked or played with." Hershey lifted her head so he petted her again. "Sleep, Hershey. We'll play later." She put her head back down, staring at the kitchen.
Wade looked in there. "He's not being mean," he told the poker contact. One of the younger Mala Noche. He looked at Xander. "If Wolfe doesn't come, he can watch them."
"Then I'd have to deal with the hormones myself." He grinned at the kid. "I'm thinking about a bit of traveling."
"It's supposed to be good for someone," the gang kid said. "Herbert's back in town and he's still pissed off that you stopped his people when they robbed you."
"Then they shouldn't have robbed me," Xander said bluntly.
"When was this?" Wade asked, looking confused.
"After the LA convention and apocalypse battle," Xander quipped. "I came home to find the house mostly cleaned out of everything electronic, all my hairpins, all that. I accidentally found the guards for the housing development being held hostage when I broke in to show how pissed off I was." He looked at the kid. "You can quote me."
He smirked. "We have. He's still mad."
"The offer for him to fuck my sword stands. Not my special one but I have a few *lovely*, *long* swords, especially in the double-sided blade sort, that he can use to screw himself."
"One of the Bloods mentioned that offer again and Herbert nearly shot him."
Xander smirked. "Give you a ride back, Petey?"
"Sure," he decided. Xander and the dogs took him out to the SUV. Wade followed with a moan, shaking his head. When they got there, a lot of the kids were staring at his SUV. He got out and let the kid, dogs, and Wade out. Xander grabbed something from the trunk and walked inside, putting the sword on the table in front of the supposed gang leader. "I'd suggest this length. It's nicely wide and yet long enough to be fun." He stared at him. "Stealing from me is always a bad idea." He smiled sweetly.
"We don't fight with swords," he sneered, pulling his gun. Xander had the sword at his throat and was cutting him before it cleared the holster. "Um.... Harris, you're not like that."
Xander leaned down. "Didn't you see St. Louis? The general had my hair cut but thankfully I fixed it after losing my temper on his people." He stared at him. "Grow the fuck up. They brought it on themselves by robbing me." He moved the sword. "Anything else you want to whine about?" The man growled and threw a punch. Xander moved and then smacked him with the sword. The man hit the floor, staring at him. Xander stared at him. "I know tougher sex demons than you. Why your people follow you I'm not sure. Do you have to pay them much or is it all favor based?" He walked off. The guy shot at him and hit his hip but Xander threw something at him, making him scream. "Wade, do you know anyone who screams as much as him?"
"No," he said, checking the wound. Already healing. "You don't even scream like that when you're having sex with someone. Anya doesn't even scream that loud, not even when she was in labor." He grabbed the thick hairpin, wiping it off on the guy's shirt before handing it back. He heard the whispered comments and smirked at one. "Each time he has to heal, the tumor grows."
"Red told us when he came to see how many people we've driven away from him," one of the upper people in the room quipped. Xander gave him an odd look. "He came to a poker game. We suggested a few new trouble buddies too, Xander."
"That'd be cool. I'm thinking about some traveling." He grinned. "That might raise Wade's babble tolerance level." A few snickered, shaking their heads. "I need to babble about what I'm seeing. Not like I'm a quiet sort."
"I'm going to have you arrested!" that wimp said loudly.
Xander stared at him and shrugged. "Yay? You sent me a death threat last week, Herbert. Grow the fuck up. Your people brought it on themselves. For that matter, if I go to jail for a few days, I'll hormone them all because I won't have a way to get rid of them." Everyone in there shuddered and a few texted others. Xander smirked. "I might even talk some of the guys into playing board games or something with me. Or maybe I'll find some new guards." They gaped and he smirked. "Wade said he's overworked sometimes. So does Anya. She's complained a lot that helping me takes him away from her sexing him up."
"Kid!" Wade complained.
Xander shrugged. "She was more blunt, I was trying for polite, Wade."
"Is that rumor that you used to date Anya true?" one of the younger guys asked and got swatted by the people at his table.
Xander nodded. "Anya and I dated when I was in Sunnydale, before my roadtrip that took me to New York. We broke up because I wasn't sure I could be totally faithful on my roadtrip. I thought about marrying that woman." Wade gave him an odd look. "I did."
"She hinted at me once. To stop that rumor, no he didn't give her to me. We didn't realize it until that one guy tried to take Jensen thinking he was like the kid." Xander smirked at him. "Which is why I let them take lessons together."
"I've got to find a new one."
"She's getting a bit hippy," Wade admitted. Xander punched him on the arm. "I don't care, you know I don't care, but she is not getting the same amount of exercise."
Xander looked at him. "Isn't that your fault?"
"Could be," he admitted dryly with a smirk. "Which is why she's been complaining to you."
"Yup." An officer walked in and stared at him then sighed. "One of the people responsible for my break-in a few years ago wanted to take the advice to fuck a sword because he's still whining about it."
"Good to know, Harris. Have you talked to anyone in the 3rd?"
"No, I haven't recently. Should I?"
"One of their people is getting married soon."
"I'll pop in on that captain and see if they need anything. I keep getting told to feed the rest of you guys by the commissioner." The officer grinned. Xander patted him on the arm. "Let me go do that. Thank you for letting me know." He walked off, Wade following. The dogs quit sitting and followed them back to the car.
"Harris, what sort of dog is Ramses?" one of the females yelled.
"Pharaoh hound," he called back. "The others are labs."
"I want a dog like that one," she told her boyfriend. "He's smart, cute, doesn't shed that much, and is tiny enough for our lease but he's fierce in protecting his hair and the kids."
Her boyfriend looked at her. "You need protection?"
"No, but you did about four months ago," she said dryly. His mouth fell open. She stared at him. "This baby will be protected from *everyone*. So can he have a dog?" she finished with a smile.
"You're pregnant?" he demanded.
"Hmm, yeah. Four months now. Found out earlier when I kept getting sick for no reason. And you thought it was the nachos," she said sarcastically.
He swallowed. "Sure, I'll get you a nice mutt like Ramses."
The officer gave him an odd look. "He brings the dogs to play poker?"
"Sometimes," she admitted with a grin. "He was training Ramses in how to sniff drugs a few times." That just got a nod. "The other two get bomb sniffing."
"Good!" the officer decided and walked off shaking his head.
Speed walked into the house that night, handing over the sword. "You forgot to pick up his sex toy of choice." Xander grinned at him. "Not a bad choice. Nice width, nice length. Horatio said quit being mean to the stupid people in the circuit though. That was too evil and people have been asking all afternoon if that tumor came back."
"It was only a small shot to my hip, Speed. I didn't die and that's the only thing that makes it grow."
"No, they thought it was already grown, Xander. Apparently you looked a bit...evil." He walked off looking happier.
Xander looked at the dogs and shrugged. "I don't know." They put their heads back down after some ear pets. Xander got up to cook. Ryan was due in soon if he didn't do overtime.
He really needed to find a real boyfriend again.
One who didn't work overtime.
One that knew about money stuff for when Steve confused him.
One that wanted a ton of sex.
Clay was the last one at the scheduled dinner meeting, sitting down at the table in the nice restaurant. He gave Wade a pointed look then at the back table then back at Wade.
"I know," Wade said dryly. "They said we can use here to talk securely because his son owes Xander a few mil. Xander said it'd pay back a few hundred thou."
"Ah," he said with a nod. "The ones in Denver that I got told he had a problem with?"
Wade snorted. "Their overlording person got *real* pissed off that they tried to own a long-haired, gay concubine sort. They've now decided they can flirt and not own."
"Good," Soshar agreed. He shook his head. "What's good here, Wade?"
"Anya likes their vegetarian lasagna. The rest is pretty good but the steak is kind of...spicy."
"Sure," he decided. They ordered salads and wine, then settled in to go over the ideas for the traveling.
"I know six different commandos that are retiring," Clay offered. "There's probably some that they know and Jimmy Hellar suggested some from England's forces."
Soshar nodded. "We've gotten a few suggestions from the British society. They've been watching the set team approach and like it a lot, especially from the Australian society members. They've had a few problems recently."
Wade nodded he had heard. Clay too. Xander strolled in and sat down, waving at someone with a smile. "Aren't you at home tonight?"
"I would be but Ryan's presently yelling at the officers that tried to break in thinking that my new workshop was a drug making lab. He told me to go somewhere safe since one tried to plant evidence until Ramses bit 'im."
"Jensen's at his sister's," Clay said. Xander nodded. "That's fine. We're talking about security needs for your traveling idea."
"Well, there's two easy ways to do it. We either travel with a few, which I wouldn't mind. It'd be safer and they'd know the people the whole trip so they could make plans ahead for needs. Or we'd have to lean on the ones in that native area."
"Some don't have a full team," Soshar said. "The first is more practical." Xander nodded. "But if only you and Wade are going...."
Xander handed over a possible itinerary. "I worked with a local travel agency, who the local group does work with for convention travel plans, to figure out would work easiest for it. We haven't made any concrete scheduling plans but that's the standard flight times from various places and here, common costs about this time of year and in the off-season, plus when that is. It's got a good plan of how long we should probably need in each place to sightsee and all that. Those are the good hotels that they'd recommend."
The trio of former commandos looked it over, Clay nodding. "Nice hotels. I've been in a few. Not always the most upper class places but good and they all have security."
"If we use the second schedule we hit most of the off-season areas except South America. We're there during the late fall, which is still a tourist time."
"The fun of those places is being there during the tourist times," Xander pointed out. "I also pointed out that Carnival and Mardi Gras is something that everyone should see once in their lives."
"That's true," Clay agreed. "I don't remember how much fun I had the last time I went to Mardi Gras thanks to Jensen and Roque. Though I like the third schedule better. Not as crowded. Mostly pet friendly places?"
"I'm not leaving my dogs for a year. I know I can't be the only one that travels with pets."
"Good point," Clay agreed. "You can sneak the pets through customs in a bag." Xander nodded. "Are the Winchesters going?"
"That's some extra security and extra risk both," Soshar said, considering it. "Depending on how many are going to a few areas, you can stay in your houses there." Xander nodded. "You'll be in a few areas during their version of conventions."
"That was part of that one's timing."
Wade nodded. "I'll hide in my room if they're anything like the US ones."
"The European one is a bit louder and a bit more of a party," Soshar admitted. "The Asian one is a lot more quiet and subdued. A few more classes and less shopping trips. No shopping area. The one in South America is a lot of stress for the last few years because of some problems and a few disappearing thanks to the cartels."
"We've dealt with a few of those," Clay said dryly. "A few have wanted Marion and thought that her husband's bosses had given her over."
Wade snorted. "I had a talk with one myself."
Xander snorted and waved a hand. "*I* had a talk with two of my own when they showed up. They were *not* happy campers." Soshar and Clay gave him an odd look. "Drove up, got out of the car while I was working on Hershey and Kiss's training, told me to get in the car, my new *owner* was waiting. He was not happy when the ambulance had to pick him up for the new hole in his dick." The waiter gave him a horrified look. "I'm not ownable, even if that person thought I was."
"I can understand that but the ministers having a meeting are scowling," the waiter said quietly.
Xander smiled and waved at one. "I'm doing some traveling."
"Good," one of them said with a smile. "Hopefully you'll find a nice temple or church on your travels."
"I'd still have boyfriends." They all sighed and shook their heads. Xander looked at the waiter and smiled. "Can I have some ice water and a steak salad?"
"Yes, Mr. Harris."
Xander grinned. "Thank you, Jacob. How's your studies going?"
"Pretty decent this month." He smiled and walked off. The chef came out and kissed Xander hard then went back to the kitchen.
Xander smiled. "I helped him decide what to study."
"You're very good to the younger members of the local poker circuit," Clay said with a smile for the young guy. Xander grinned. "Which schedule did you like the best?"
"I liked the second for the length but the third hit more points. The first was a good, general one and we worked from there."
Soshar looked them over. "There's only six spots that aren't on the third one."
"We tried to keep the third one under a year," Xander told him.
"You can always go to the other ones in a few years," Wade said. "All the ones on the third are the sort that could be stopped or destroyed." Xander nodded he knew that. The waiter brought their salads and drinks then left. Xander handed him all the radishes but that was fine he supposed. "Did Anya nag about my diet?" he joked dryly.
"No but I don't want to fart all night," he said with a grin. "Ryan and the dogs run from me." Clay tried not to snicker but he wasn't going to manage it.
Soshar was laughing but shaking his head. "My wife does the same thing," he assured him. "Are you handling it okay with just Ryan?"
"No," Wade said before stuffing his mouth.
"I'm ...okay but a bit backed up," Xander said more quietly.
Soshar nodded. "We'll figure it out and you can date while you're traveling."
"They need to ask one of us who can do background checks for permission," Clay told him.
"Because I have to keep weeding out anyone who is a bit less than good," Wade said dryly before eating another bite. Xander gave him an odd look. "Two more arms dealers asked you out and I've said no."
"I told one no," Clay said. "So did Horatio."
"Philippe DeSantos?" Xander guessed. They nodded. "He always said if I broke up with my boys he wanted to take me out for a wild night on the town. That I could always use more fun."
"Yeah but there's a good chance he'd try to keep you," Clay said. "Plus he sells you crappy things that're weak."
Xander shrugged. "He did get me a few of my favorite things."
"No," Wade ordered. Xander shrugged. "Thank you."
"I need someone long term that wants *me* not just my hair."
"Yes you do," Soshar agreed. "If we could get you to date Jensen I'd think it'd help."
Clay looked at him. "I wouldn't mind but we do still have to work out of town and that would suck for them."
"True," Xander agreed. "Which is why I don't do more than sneak attack him." He smirked. "I got him in the gym."
"We all heard the shriek and giggling," Clay assured him, patting him on the hand. "You woke Jolene up. Nearly scared her into labor."
Xander grinned. "He bit me."
Soshar shook his head but he was smiling. He did adore Xander. He was a nice guy who was a bit goofy but took care of those around him. They dug in and went back to the plans. Xander agreed that they could do it again in another few years. It was good that Xander was being reasonable.
Clay walked into the meeting room a few weeks later, nodding at the people. "Morning."
"Colonel," one said with a smirk. She was the only female in the room. "Some reason you got us called here?"
"Yup, private security for people who actually *need* our skills." He smirked. "And if you survive and want, there's a chance of being hired on permanently after that." He handed one a stack of folders. "That's on the group, the planned route, the reason why is on the last page. That's one's suitors file of who asked him out recently." He sat on the table in the front of the group, watching them read the briefing materials.
"At this point, there's no way we'll tell you anything about singular members," he said at the first gasp. "But there's over three thousand in the US. There's more than a singular one going on the trip," he said when he saw someone had gotten to that schedule. "It's open to other members in the US and outside the US. Three of those spots are also conventions in other countries."
The lone female stared at him. "Serious?" she demanded.
Clay smirked and nodded. "My losers are the Miami retrieval team. The one organizing this trip spoils us rotten and is teaching Jensen and Cougar how to use swords."
"I know about sword users," one of the guys said, shifting some.
"He's got a special style and needs people to work out with him," he said, staring at him. "For a few different reasons." That got a simple nod. "That actually gives you a leg up since he wants to visit Paris."
"Harris?" he mouthed. Clay smirked and nodded. "Damn," he said out loud.
"We love the kid. He's a spoiling goofball who has contacts in some of the strangest places. He's even got Jensen up on a horse."
The female shook her head. "They need our sort of security?"
"In the last six months, my team has hit twelve countries, six of them more than once. One of them six different times over one person; not that one, another member. We couldn't kill him before but this last time we made sure he got the point." She whimpered. He gave her a smug look. "Yeah." He shifted. "The higher ups are also looking at this as a way to test for future job offers for the society."
"Okay," she decided. "That's insane."
"We've served with someone in the group," one of the guys in the back said. Clay nodded. "Is he okay?"
"Presently at home after we got him out of the hellhole of pink fluffiness they had him holed up in." That guy whimpered, shaking his head muttering. "Pink pillows, feather boas decorating the ceiling line. Light pink wallpaper that had clown hats according to Jensen, who had to look. Fluffy feather bed with rose and cream bedspread and a stack of pillows with ruffles." The guy gagged. "He broke his hands and one foot trying to get out."
"I'd have burned that place down," that guy said.
"Pooch kindly handed him a lighter and Jensen gave over a bottle of beer. It was a pretty bonfire. This guy is worse than he ever was. That one's on the lower side of half."
"That's bad." He looked at the list of suitors and burst out laughing. "Why are there arms dealers?"
"He owns some. He's allowed because it keeps people from taking him," Clay said bluntly. "Also, small caveat. Remember that Max situation?" They all nodded. "He fixed it. Someone sent Wade and Roque back to life and he's ...tamed Wade. Wade doesn't hardly torture anyone, only kills the kid's bad wanters. He and his girlfriend occasionally summon succuba to torture together." They all gave him an odd look. "Honestly. Wade was *giggling* at something the kid did the other day. Outright giggling. High pitched, stitch in the side giggling. He's *tamed* Wade into his assistant. We all worried when Wade decided to stalk him because he had Max killed. Roque too. The kid even found Roque a girlfriend who enjoys his knives. They go hunting demons together."
"The psychotic mother fucker has a girlfriend?" the female asked. "I thought he did unwilling sheep or goats."
"He originally bought her for her debt but she's a former vengeance demon so she enjoys torturing succuba with him." He grinned. "She complains a lot that Wade cut her down to sex three times a day."
"Jeez," she said, shuddering. "It's good that there's even someone out there for *Wade*. Means I should be able to find a date some day."
"Introduce yourself to Xander but fair warning, he's got more stamina than Jensen on pixie sticks and mountain dew. He's worn out a few people."
"Okay," she decided. "Is he gay?"
"Bi but his former friends were all bitches. One's in jail for trying to hack and steal over a hundred mil."
"Huh," she said, blinking a few times. "So we'd be security to keep people off this guy and whoever else signed up?" Clay nodded. "It's a year-long trip."
"Pay's good," Clay told them. "Paid up-front. Rooms are provided, food allowance is given. Souvenirs if you want some are all on your own but it's not like you'll use all your food allowance probably. The kid wants to go native for some of it, see the sights, all that."
"Is there a reason beyond this group that he needs our sort of help?" another one asked.
"Classified beyond the President's knowledge," Clay said bluntly, staring at him. That got a nod. "That, he knows a lot of arms dealers, he plays poker with the underground in Miami - and the retired agents, people want him beyond all belief and will do anything to get him. That thing in St. Louis? The general had his hair cut. That was him with the sword." That got a mass nod.
"So it's part protection, part letting him babble at you, sometimes you'll be filling in if Wade has to go back to Miami. Doing security for everyone else that wants to come along. He's made it a fairly inexpensive trip for the others so they can join in for however long. I'll be honest, you people were picked because you've served in some of those areas. You're highly rated. We expect you to do the professional thing and even if he babbles at you too much, not sell him to someone who wants him," he finished dryly. "Because then Jensen will kill you. He nearly killed the kid's exes for being assholes."
"So we'd be protection, keeping him out of trouble if he wants to go to native areas, all that," the female said. Clay nodded. "He really needs someone of our caliber?" Clay pulled out Jensen's phone and beamed a file to the screen in there. They read it and gave him horrified looks. "Okay, so he does need it," she said. Clay smirked and nodded. "Your team?"
"We have ten others in Miami and two that Jensen is taking today to track down so we can rescue them. We're going out again tonight probably." He shifted again. "The society needs about two more teams worth. They're looking at you guys after the trip, some Brit Para people possibly. There's positions in most of the groups around the world."
She nodded. "How many are women?"
"About a third of the whole society are women. That may be that they're not identified because they're having theirs worn out. There's also been a brainiac version instead of hormone version identified but they're figuring out how to handle that issue."
"Jensen?" she quipped with a grin. He nodded. She gaped.
"That brings up the first rule of the group. You do not talk about them. Because people like my team have to go find them if you do."
"Got that," they agreed.
"The main one going does like to handle things on his own. He was at the invasion in LA if you guys saw that." A few nodded. "That was him with some of his weapons."
"The hair guy," she said. Clay nodded. "Huh. He looked cute."
"He's very cute. He's got four ferrets, three dogs, and eight horses. He'll sneak the dogs, which are in training for bombs and drugs, and the ferrets using something he found off realm."
"Realm?" she asked. Clay nodded. "Common destination?"
"Not really. Sometimes they go for a long trip. Not this time though. He's only been taken there a few times against his will. He took some training on one of them. I can also tell you to keep anyone pushing their faith away from him. He'll point out demons. Or he'll giggle madly and counter them with their own book. He's pagan if it matters." They all shrugged. "Good. So you guys can handle this?" They all nodded.
"I'm not certain he needs someone of our capabilities," one said.
Clay nodded. "Yes, he does." He beamed another file and they watched. "That was last week." She slowly raised her hand then put it down when the fight finished with a bang. "That was on his home ground. With people who respect him enough to be scared to death of him and his temper. That was a few who didn't want to pay him what they owed him from a few poker games. The local lab is on very good terms with him but...." He smirked. "They threw a massive fit that someone had attacked him that way. Then at him for fighting back in that manner." He smirked.
"Sure," she said, nodding some. "I can arrange that." She looked at the others then at him again. "Is that the worst?"
"Outside apocalypse battles? Maybe. He never tells us. We have to hear from others. We heard about that one when a friend in the former agent community down there told Jensen. Then the police officers we know started to call to complain. The kid, of course, brought in fluffy pastries later that day that he had made at home."
The group snickered.
"Jensen picked you guys after considering who he could turn his best friend over to for a year."
"Is Cougar pouting about that?" one of the guys that had worked with the team asked.
"Cougar's another friend. The kid's teaching him swords too. They do the monthly weapons inventory together usually. The kid finds strange weapons among his contacts so Cougar gets to play with laser weapons and all sorts of weird things." He put up a picture of Pooch's son Junior with his stick-on braid. "The kid's idea." Most giggled. "He's a spoiling goofball who's a very good cook. Even Roque pigs out when the kid cooks." That got a few nods too. "Another hobby is more recent. He's learning how to make jewelry and cast glass things."
"Are we talking about all of us at once?" she asked.
Clay shrugged. "I'm seeing who's interested and then we'd work that out." That got a nod. "The one in Italy, depending on how many are there then, may be staying at his house. The one in Mexico as well." The door opened and Jensen leaned in. "We find 'em?"
"Both of them. They're conveniently near each other, within a day's travel. So's a hospital just in case. Guys, if you screw up and Xander gets hurt, I will make you fucking suffer in a way only I can," he said with a smile for the group. "Got it?" They all nodded. "Good." He smirked. "We're gearing up right now. Pooch packed for you." He withdrew and let the door shut.
Clay looked at them. "Adam and Soshar, the technical head of the retrieval teams and the guy in charge of the American Society, will be right in. Talk for a few." He left. Jensen took his phone back to write Xander and then they were off.
Soshar walked in and smiled. "Morning."
"Soshar Reynolds," one said with a smirk. "I didn't realize you had went private."
"Many years ago after accidentally retrieving one of the society members out of France while on assignment." He leaned against the front table. "Adam will be in after he's done being nagged by his lover and son." He grinned. "So, how do you like what causes my gray hairs?" That got a moan. "Honestly, the one who planned all this, he's a good kid. Most of the time he'll save himself. He's blown up quite a few places that have housed him when he didn't want to be there. He makes our job a lot easier. He'll also step in if he hears that there's a captive member nearby. He has in the past and paid for some of the more quiet teams to help retrieve some of them when we were overrun." Adam walked in. "This is the American GHS president, Adam."
"Good morning." He put his bag on the table and looked at them. "Really, you'll be more necessary to keep people off the other members but sometimes even Wade gets distracted too long or Xander's instincts get the better of him," he said calmly. "The whole group is going in under a travel society, not our society, to keep the stress and dangers down."
"They've made good plans," Soshar agreed. "The one guy has started with reasonable plans, let us guide him toward ones that will work best. He's actually a decent battle strategist at times, when he's not backed up."
Adam nodded. "We were wary of the idea but he's made plans for security and safe travel plus made no mention of the group and society itself to keep down the danger even farther. You would be just-in-case as he put it."
"Mostly for the other members, or if he runs into a demonic battle," Soshar agreed.
"Most of those areas are demon safe or neutral," Adam said with a small smirk. "I made sure." That got a grin back from his head of security. "He's presently planning some grandiose room for the children in the family group and a play area at the farm."
"How difficult is this job really?" the lone female asked.
Soshar snorted. "Before we had teams for each major gathering area, my team was on the road all but seven days most years. Those were not major holidays. We did less traveling when we were on call for the military and CIA." That got a nod. "Now, with the major teams for each gathering area, I'm at home because my wife wants me there to take care of our kids, and they're on the road for about thirty weeks a year average." A few shuddered. "The American branch of the society is hiring three full teams. One just for New York's."
"I've heard rumors about an agent in DC?" she asked.
"We don't talk about other members," Adam said firmly. "Beyond that, Gibbs hates it when he's asked to go retrieve one of us somewhere foreign. He tends to smack them harder than he does Sanders." She smirked at him for that. "A few years back, as an example, Xander was playing poker in Miami and won four dirty bombs and a nuclear warhead that was in testing supposedly. He stole the fifth one they had and drove up to DC to hand them to Gibbs on the way to a convention. Which was when the FBI decided to start sending people to conventions to help us protect ourselves."
"Between him and a few terrorists who have wanted the one in DC as a toy?" Soshar said with a smirk for the group. "Yeah, Gibbs hates it when we ask him for favors."
"How much stress do we anticipate on this trip?" one of the guys in the back asked.
"I'm hoping very little," Adam said. "However, the one planning it has the highest levels we've ever recorded." The guy shuddered. "And he conveniently is single right now so we're hoping to find him an escort with a lot of stamina. If you know of someone....." They all nodded and smirked.
"Jimmy Hellar," one said.
"We know he's in Miami," Adam said dryly. He crossed his arms over his chest. "He's followed this young one around a few times to see what sort of trouble he gets into. He's highly amused by him but has not even thought about dating him."
That got a nod from one. "My brother's ATF."
"Xander has a house in Denver and has visited it twice now," Soshar said with a grin. "He and Larabee's team are liaising when he's out there."
"As a general question and to settle a bet, is there one in the Denver ATF office?" she asked.
"Not that we're aware of and Xander is very good at picking them out," Adam said.
"Damn, I lost a hundred bucks," she muttered. A few others nodded as well.
"If you're talking about the finely dressed one, Xander said he's special in other ways. Though the pooka that's living out there right now seems to appreciate him quite a lot," Adam said dryly.
"Pooka?" she asked, looking confused.
Soshar waved a hand. "Now and then a unicorn from somewhere Xander visited shows up to play with his dogs and Adam or Horatio's kids. Standish told it where an all-girls Catholic school was so it could get more petting in." She burst out laughing. "So yes, he gets on well enough with them. He can probably handle other agents."
"I'll ask my brother if he wants introduced," she decided. "Guns?"
"Xander has found a few bottomless bags," Soshar told him. "We have a few that fit people for special rescues."
"He'll be using one to sneak his pets," Adam said. That just got a nod. He pulled one out of his bag and tossed it back to one. They dug into it and managed to get most of their head and one arm in. The others took it to look over. "If it rips, anything in it is gone. Xander has a few that now lead back to his bed instead of the void or a demonic mafia controlled realm."
"He's got a full emergency kit in his," Soshar assured them. "Including a jeep that expands."
"I do like that jeep," Adam admitted. "Quite nice really." The others stared at him so he grinned. "Something the engineer that he pays came up with."
"Why does he pay an engineer?" she asked.
"To keep him off the market. It's saved him from being given to the highest bidder."
"That's really nice of him," another said.
"He has a chemist for the same reason," Soshar admitted. "We like that group. They do some really neat stuff."
One raised his hand. "Does he really need someone with my skills?"
Soshar nodded. "Yes. And I can't tell you why, it's classified. I picked you and Mikey on purpose for this group." That got a nod. "Mostly because of Spain." The guy stared at him hard. The other quirked an eyebrow up. "With the list of places he plans to go, those sort of contacts will help a lot, guys. The rest of you, outside Sheena, were picked for your skills, your reps, and being able to shrug off anything weird. She's picked because she's about the only female commando I've ever worked with who lives up to my standards and we may need a female guard for someone coming along. Plus it'll help Xander get over the issues his former bitchy friends caused him."
"By the way, if Dean's there, he flirts," Adam told her.
"If he's cute I might tumble him a time or two." Adam showed her a picture. "Very cute." They smirked at each other. "I can see why I was picked. I don't know too many females with the training either. Most of them wouldn't be able to handle anything too weird."
Soshar nodded. "Now and then Xander gets demonic suitors. He likes to destroy them. He's actually destroyed whole realms getting away from some of them." A few snickered. "Honestly," Soshar agreed. "That's one reason why he has weapons." Hubert twinkled into being with a tiny demon, who then disappeared before he could be grabbed. "Damn it," he muttered, calling someone. "We have Hubert?" he asked. He listened and winced. "Is someone going after him? Sure. The horse he was riding? And tell me he didn't have one of the kids?" he asked, looking at Adam.
"Ray has a twisted knee so he's at home with both of the tots," he said calmly, picking up Hubert to pet. "This is Hubert, Xander's baby dragon." The whole group stared at it and a few waved, getting tail waves back. Soshar hung up. "He was riding and what happened?"
"Someone snatched him to help protect their daughter from the one who wanted to marry her by force. The horse is fine, made it back to the farm. Hubert is considered a bad omen in their culture so they sent him off. The tiny thing was apparently a DPP intern." Soshar started to growl. "Xander would never want anyone to be forced into something like that. So I'm assuming he's destroying somewhere else." He looked at the group. "Sometimes these things happen. That's why we want extra security, beyond any keepers or guards going."
Xander appeared with his head down. "Damn it, I have blood in my hair," he muttered, looking at some that was loose over his shoulder. Hubert roared so he took him to snuggle. "You were very helpful, Hubert. Thank you, baby dragon." He sighed and sat between the two older people, cuddling his dragon. "Hi, sorry to interrupt," he told them. "The DPP officer that stopped me from ripping her family apart for the second time decided I needed to calm down."
"Is she all right?" Soshar asked.
"Yeah. I decimated the clan that was trying to capture her and her family complained so I destroyed some of them too and took her into my official House for the Council seat. She's now my official housekeeper." He smirked. "That way she can choose her own."
"That's a wiser choice," Adam said, giving him a short pat on the arm.
"Why do people want you so much?" one of the guys in the back asked.
Xander got up and walked back there, holding out some of his hair. "Sniff." He did and moaned. Xander nodded. "I'm a walking, talking, fighting, cooking, crocheting, jewelry making pheromone factory. Many people want me as their purr kitty at night. Or under their desks." He went back to the table and sat on it. "Are these the guys going on the trip?"
"These are the ones it's being offered to," Soshar told him.
"Hi," he said with a smile and a wave. "If I start writing smut, would you guys like to edit for me when we're bored during rainstorms or being inside for too long?"
"Sure," Sheena said with a grin. "I'm up for smut usually." Xander beamed at her. "Is the schedule finalized?"
"Where is finalized. The start date is still open so we'd start there and move whatever we missed back to the end," Xander told her. They all nodded. "I'm hoping we can definitely be gone by June when it gets so very hot in Miami. This year's supposed to be next to hell for heat." He looked at Adam. "Greg heard nasty rumors about the lab board's people and our lab," he said quietly. "They're talking full out shut down and try to destroy."
"I'll have someone give me that information for them." He petted the dragon. "We'll see what's going on."
"They're hating Horatio again. From what Greg heard, the new head guy is very anti-having-a-husband. He's another right wing, women should stay home and have babies, gay men should be burned at the stake sort. The only one he likes is Delko and he thought he was going to hell for being a playboy and Catholic."
Adam sent that message to someone else. "I'll let Horatio know so he can head some of it off."
"I'm sure he can. If not, perhaps the traveling group will be larger," Soshar quipped.
"Mellie is a bit young to be traveling the world," Adam said sarcastically, looking at Xander.
"No she's not. Neither is Toby." He smirked back. Hubert yawned and crawled over Xander's shoulder to lay around Adam's, earning a tired sounding sigh. "Hubert, he's tired from taking care of Toby. Let him rest." He took him back carefully and sat on the table again. "So, guys, can we count on you to guard my pretty and wanted butt?" Most of them nodded.
Soshar smiled. "Why don't you head home?" Xander nodded, going out with the dragon to get the blood out of his hair. "You'll find him in some of the damndest places," he quipped.
"He was at The Bazaar," Sheena said. Adam nodded. "I remember hearing he belly danced."
"He's since taken lessons to learn more of that art," Adam said with a smug grin. "Then taught my mate and others." She shivered. "Including Wade's girlfriend."
"I still can't see him being a spoiling boyfriend sort," she complained.
"He's not," Soshar assured her with a grin of his own. "Tolerant sometimes. He doesn't spoil her, doesn't let her shop all that often, keeps her on a pretty tight leash for teasing issues. Xander said if he treats her wrong he's going to kill Wade since Xander used to date her a few years earlier." She whimpered. "Seriously, I'm not sure which is more warped of Anya and Wade. She's even made him disgusted with some of her past job fun and games."
"Anya was complaining that they never got to torture succuba anymore," Adam quipped. "That Wade was becoming too housebound and less fun."
"Is she coming?" one of the guys asked. They shook their heads.
"She said she's been all over this world granting wishes to angry women, she doesn't want to travel," Soshar assured them.
The same tiny demon showed up with the two children holding onto his hands. "Here, demon who took them is very sorry," he said, letting them go. "Does not want to go after Xander even if they thought the parents would enjoy coming to him. He releases them because someone told him Xander would destroy him for touching them." He disappeared.
Adam growled but picked up the kids to check over. "I don't think it's Xander they have to worry about." Soshar took them to put on the table so Adam could text his lover. "Ray is at home and snarling." He looked at Toby. "Your father is most upset with that idiot demon." Toby smiled and waved at the group, getting a few back. "Mine and Lieutenant Caine's children."
"Not to be nosy but the little girly girl there has a nose I've wanted to hit a few times," Sheena said.
"She is Roque's," Soshar assured her. "He let the Lieutenant adopt her."
"Awww. I thought Clay castrated him long ago."
"No, he's dating Xander's bitchy friend that's not in jail." She snickered. He patted Toby on the head. "Toby, you're being very good. Thank you." The baby smirked at him. "You're also apparently turning into your Daddy Adam?"
"Quite," Adam said with a smug look. That got a few more snickers. "I won't rule out a similar scene when you're traveling. One of them took Amelia before and Xander retrieved her."
"Let's get them home with you and I'll do interviews," Soshar said. Adam nodded, taking the babies with him. He grinned. "It's not usually as insane as today has been. Now and then though...." They all nodded and got down to asking security professional questions about what sort of patrols, weapons, and needs they'd have to meet.
That night, most of the potential guards found their way to bars that held their type in Miami. A few had decided to drink themselves into forgetting the subject matter. That was too weird for them. They mostly descended on two bars but got sent from one to the other one by the bartender when they asked questions because the bartender didn't want to piss off Xander. Which was an interesting thought to have. Sheena made it there first and sat down, staring at a guy she had once tried to kill. Well, more than once but he kept living through it somehow. "Got asked earlier about security for an upcoming trip," she said bluntly.
He smirked and nodded. "We heard Harris was going out of town to travel for about a year. There's people all over Miami that're hurrying to pay him what they owe." A few more sat down. "I don't know the kid that well," Jimmy Hellar admitted. "I've followed him around a few times. Kid's really kind of strange and yet helpful and forceful in his own way."
One of the guys coughed. "Does he really *need* our sort of help?"
Hellar nodded quickly. "Hell yes." They all sighed. "There's been times Wade and Clay's team together wasn't enough to help the kid. Though it's nice that Wade's only slightly psychotic now."
"It's the fudge," someone called from the back room. "He stuffed Wade full of his special fudge and it made him realize that being a bit nicer got him more fun with less blood."
Jimmy glared back there. "I see Clay's team is back already."
"That was Pooch?" Sheena asked. Jimmy nodded. "Ey, Pooch?" she called. He came out, staring at them. "Honestly?"
"The kid's a wreck half the time when he's backed up, and he will be because he's presently single." A few pointed at Jimmy.
Jimmy shook his head quickly. "I couldn't wear him out. I'm mortal and know my limits. Fortunately danger keeps it down so you guys didn't get plastered by it on the way back from Nicaragua."
"Actually, Jensen helped him keep it down. And the less said about that trip, the better." He went back to his game and came out with his cash. He sat down. "Yeah, the kid will need it and if more join him, they'll need it more than Xander will because he'll try to guard them too if something happens. We adore the kid like some cousin. Jolene thinks he's goofy and sweet. He spoiled our son and upcoming kid with tons of new clothes when he got bored. Helped Jolene paint and change the light fixture. Helped Jensen's sister decorate too."
"Nicaragua?" one of the guys asked.
"You heard about the wannabe world puppet masters?" Pooch asked dryly. They all nodded. "They were playing with Xander to see who would survive and come out on top. So he destroyed them all, including Faust."
"I heard something about Speedle helping here in Miami during it," Jimmy said.
Pooch stared at him. "We heard about the flying monkey too. Clay nearly drank himself to death about that."
Wade walked past the table. "I mailed three of those to people I adore," he quipped with an evil smirk. "My former trainer cackled for *weeks*. Nearly died from it too. He thinks it's a great pet."
"Aren't you supposed to be stopping Xander?" Pooch demanded.
"Nope. Anya wanted to go shoe shopping so she's giving him Buffy flashbacks. Since I don't think she needs more shoes.... She's going to try to make him pay for it." He went into the back room. "We're leaving Miami in a week for a three-day cruise," he noted loudly. "Xander said to pay him so he can afford souvenirs after taking Anya shopping." A few people groaned and pulled out wallets to pay the local debt book keeper. A few paid Wade what they owed him too. "Thank you. This way I can stand being trapped on a ship with Xander for three days." He went into another room.
"He really did warp the psychotic mother fucker," Sheena said in awe.
"Wade stalked Xander around town until he volunteered to be his assistant," Pooch said dryly, giving her an odd look. "Roque too. Xander sent him to fuck the evil out of the slayer in LA. Wade volunteered to keep Xander out of more trouble. He thought Xander was going to someday turn into a nicer version of Max. Until he heard about hormones and demons." He smirked. "Did they tell you about that tumor?" They all nodded. "The last time it was too big, Xander tortured Wade and Anya by taking them to Disney." He gave them an evil smirk. "Wade lasted a day."
Jimmy shuddered. "A few years back he would've bombed them within minutes."
"Between the nympho Anya wearing him out and Xander wearing him out needing to do things to wear himself out.... He's calmed down a bit."
"Does Xander wear himself out with Wade *that* way?" one of the guys asked.
"Not that I'm aware of."
"Hell no!" Wade called. "I'm still mostly mortal and normal. I don't want to die that way. That's why I cut Anya's down to three a day." The others laughed. He came to the doorway. "Tell your idiot colonel that his psychic twin in Iran's military got the fuck off present and was happily blown up." He went back to his own card game.
Pooch shook his head, texting that exact message to Clay. "Clay said he didn't know who you were talking about," he called.
"That one colonel of their special ops assassination program," Jimmy said. Pooch texted that. "We heard he got killed earlier. It's good he wanted Xander too."
Pooch shook his head. "The list of people that would like a Xander of their own is frightening. Jolene nearly gave herself fits over that entire list."
"Wasn't there that guy that was making life-like robots?" one of the new commandos asked.
"Yeah, he apparently wanted Xander too. Left him his island of functioning metallic people, a cloning lab, and orders for them to keep him there," Pooch said dryly. "He sold it to someone he knows who runs a resort in Vegas." He sipped his light beer. "We found them in some of the strangest places thanks to them letting us know."
"We heard," Jimmy assured him with a smug look. "Including that one test involving Sanders."
"I met Sanders the last time he was down. He and Xander used to be trouble buddies. Which I can see because he's like the lab version of Jensen." The others snickered. "By the way, he and DiNozzo are joining you for three of the weeks total, Gibbs willing." That got a shiver from Sheena and the others all whimpered. "They're good together."
"Good," she complained. "So they really do get into trouble?"
Pooch nodded. "We'll be out of town again later on this week probably. Stick around for a few days to watch the kid work. Wade's going to be busy with Anya issues probably so he won't be able to stop them. With him collecting poker debts, people are going to try to get out of some of them quickly and easily by shooting him."
"I'll kill them," Wade called.
"I know you would. Let them watch Xander for a bit so they get used to his style." He rolled his eyes. "It freaks even the Pooch out having to deal with Wade when he's being *nice*." He went back to his own game again. Jolene had told him to go away for a few hours because he was hovering.
The commandos talked with others in the room that had met and knew Xander. What they heard was confusing but interesting. Much more interesting than their usual guarding jobs.
Clay looked up from sunning himself on the rooftop deck of their building. It had taken two days for this meeting to show up. Clay was really impressed it had lasted that long. They had real potential as retrieval team members. "You thought I was kidding?" he asked the guy staring at him.
"I thought you were exaggerating," he corrected. "Maybe some sort of communicable form of it from Jensen." He sat down with a sigh. "How did he come back to life? Who was the guy in black leather?"
"He's immortal until someone takes off his head," he said quietly after glancing around. That just got a nod. "There's about two thousand of them in the world." That got another nod. "Guy in leather have messy hair or a beard? And did they remove the tumor?"
"Yes and beard."
"Ares," he said, taking a sip. "Xander, Ryan Wolfe, and Lieutenant Caine got snatched to the realm where they're living because Caine's a redhead and they're very rare there. They took Xander and Wolfe to keep as slaves. When Xander got them free with Ryan's help, they went to take some training at the temple."
That got another nod. "He's bouncy, a bit shrill," he said, seeing the wince behind the sunglasses. "He was swerving earlier."
"He's damn backed up again." He looked around. "Jensen!" He popped up out of the pool. "Xander's swerving and he's gotten to the point of shrill."
"Crap," he said, getting out and pulling on a t-shirt. "I'll go help him."
"Thank you. Ares removed the damn tumor already."
Jensen gave him a look. "He said next time he's dragging us to Disney with some charity kids." He beamed before disappearing.
"Fat fucking chance of that," Clay complained. "I'd have shot him."
The other commando coughed. "He needs more than you picked out."
"Wade can usually keep some sort of leash on him in public," he said dryly. "You're there for the other members and to back any problems down." He smirked. "It's probably going to be some easy traveling."
"You hope," he snorted. "Wade's seriously going to end them?"
"Probably if they're not in jail. Usually Horatio likes to arrest them while they're still babbling about how he came back to life."
"Yeah, I nearly did too." He stood up. "Sheena saw too and she's still freaking out. Xander came over to walk her off and talk her down."
Clay nodded. "That's fine. He's good at it since all he had before were female friends." They shared a look. "We kept it at areas that have minor troubles. He had wanted to go visit someone studying in Tibet and to Bangalore."
The commando nodded. "Thank you for that bit of common sense." The guy in black leather appeared and he fought the urge to go to his knees. "So you're a God of War?" he quipped.
Ares smirked and nodded. "Yes, I am. I trained my braindead student very well."
"Xander's not braindead," Clay complained mildly.
"I meant Wolfe." Clay smirked. "If they're going, Jensen's going with Xander."
"That's going to be really hard on our team."
Ares huffed. "Damn it."
"Yup. Gotta have Jensen to help us protect all the other GHS. Cougar too." He finished his beer. "Or else I'd have already suggested it."
"So, that tumor, do we have to worry about you showing up to remove it every time he does something dumb and dies?" the commando asked.
Ares nodded. "Because he scares the crap out of us when he's fully backed up. The first time, it sent the whole lab into an orgy when Apollo removed it."
Clay nodded. "Last time you guys were over a mile from the farm and the horses still got hit. Though that was worse than his first one probably." Ares nodded. "How large this time?" he asked dryly.
"Wade should've killed six or seven others," he complained. "Find him someone, Colonel."
"If I knew someone who'd bend him over night and day, I'd have already introduced them," Clay pointed out. "Ask Adam?"
"Not a bad idea." He disappeared.
Clay pointed at the empty spot. "Xander's an anchor for them. It's like being a high priest to three of them. Him, Strife, and Cupid."
"Yeah, I can see why," he decided, walking off shaking his head. He had a migraine now. One the size of a long haired, hormoned, goofball.
Clay got another beer and came back to relax in the sun again. At least they now knew how bad Xander could get. Maybe he'd take them to Disney instead. There was one in Asia and Europe.
Wade walked into the bar that night, taking off his sunglasses. "You'd better all hope that everyone who shot Xander is in jail," he announced. "I'm not amused." A few laughed. The ones responsible ran. Which meant he got to track and have some fun. Horatio had said he could have fun as long as they were handed over in living, talking, and begging condition.
"I wonder if Xander trained him to track like one of the dogs?" a female teased.
Her boyfriend looked at her. "I think the Canadian army or whatever did."
"He's Canadian? They're supposed to be more polite," she said.
"Yeah but their special forces are still mean. He will shoot you." She shrugged and went back to teasing him like a proper card girl should.
The head of the poker hall called the others to warn them. Apparently someone had told Wade when they had all tried to hide it from him. He needed to find out who and send them out of Miami before Xander heard.
Horatio smiled at the nice present waiting in his office the next morning. "Did you all walk in here?" he asked sarcastically.
"Caine!" a male voice shouted.
Horatio stepped backward into the hallway, looking at his boss. "Yes, sir?"
"What is going on?"
"These nice people didn't want to pay their poker debts so tried to kill someone." He smirked. "I assured someone they could help save the department money by finding them for us as long as they were in good shape when they were turned over." He let him see the people on his floor. "They're all able to speak, walk on their own I hope, and confess."
"I do not like our poker circuit," he growled.
Horatio looked at him. "You'd rather they were out causing street gang related violence?"
"Or that they were playing somewhere less regulated and got into fights about their debts? Leaving us with multiple bodies?"
"Even the drug dealers have to play by rules, Chief," Speed said as he walked up behind them. "For pissing us off that way, I'm sending another flying monkey." A few started to cry. "You just *had* to shoot someone, didn't you?" They all whined. "If you had told him 'hey, I need a few days' he probably would've understood. Instead *we* had to tell Wade because he wasn't." A few started to really cry. "Good!" He walked off. "Xander said he didn't tell Wade because he wanted to handle it."
One of them looked at Horatio. "I'd rather be tortured by Wade than let Xander handle *anything*," he begged. "Please? I'll spill everything I've ever known! Please, Red?"
"Definitely. You're in police custody now. Xander cannot get you in jail." He smirked. They whined and nodded. "Now, who needs medical attention?" One guy shifted and nodded. "Why? I told Wade no broken bones."
"I wrecked my stolen car," he muttered. "It broke in the crash. He told me Anya's tougher than I am, Red."
"I'm sure she was with her history. After all, she was originally a Viking." They all whined. "Quit." That got it stopped. "Speed, can you get Alexx? One had a car crash with his stolen car."
"Already coming up with Tripp and the others, H."
"Thank you." He smiled at his boss. "It's not often I have to ask for favors but these ones could have went to ground somewhere no police officer could find them. Having their own sort find them works well and it let Wade remember he was Special Forces."
"Yes, he was Canadian Special Forces," Horatio said dryly. "Or as Colonel Clay on the retrieval team calls him, a psychotic, torturing bastard for Canada." Alexx and the detectives came up. "These ones decided not to pay poker debts. Alexx, one had a crash in his stolen car."
She snorted. "Serves him right for trying to shoot Xander." She walked in there to check them over. "Wade has a very delicate touch."
"The man's a master of pain, Anya said so," one whined.
She smirked. "So's she. She used to punish stupid men who cheat."
"At least he found himself a woman just like him," one mumbled, looking down. "He was mean to us, Miss Alexx. He was really mean and I didn't shoot Xander, but he decided I was a stupid fuck and said I deserved to be here for trying to rob his house." He pouted at her. "I was only going to jack their tv."
"He has to do something when Anya's tired," Horatio said dryly. The guy shuddered. "At least he didn't come after you like Xander did when that group did the same to his house."
The guy looked at him. "Herbert's still hiding."
Frank nodded. "Very good idea for him." He separated them out for her. That one got booked first and questioned about what had went on. One officer brilliantly came up to ask Horatio if Xander was bringing them lunch today so everyone decided to confess. They could piss off Wade and die, but Xander would make it a very bad death. He was meaner than Wade. They all knew it came with the hair.
Xander sighed as he walked into the gang poker place, getting everyone staring at him. "People, I'm not the mean one in my family. Really. Don't be scared of me unless you're hurting kids or my pets, screwing with me, try to kill me, or kill someone in the family. It's mean to make them think I'm meaner than Wade is. Wade is pouting because of that and Wade being pouty means that Anya's pouty and I have to calm them both down." A few shuddered. "Okay? Please? I'm not the mean guy here." He walked off shaking his head. Wade had eaten all his macadamia nut brittle while pouting on the couch. Wade had even let Mellie pat him on the arm and coo at him he was so pouty.
It was freaking Xander out.
The gang members had something new to talk about. They had no idea that Xander was pouty or that Wade could pout. Clearly something was not happy in their family. Someone even went to offer to threesome with Anya and Wade to cheer him up. Xander...they all knew he needed new *friends* so a few went to offer to him as well because he was so backed up.
Sheena walked Xander up to Clay, handing him over. "I believe he's yours."
"In Miami we usually hand him to Horatio unless he's in real trouble, then we give him to Wade," he told her. "What did he do?"
"He made a whole bunch of gang kids pouty. A few were looking like they were going to kill their fellow members so I got him out of there."
Xander shrugged. "I went to tell them to quit making Wade pouty because they think I'm meaner than Wade is. They're wrong, but for some reason they think I am." He shrugged. "A few were sniffing my hair on purpose. I think I'm the new street drug." He walked off. "Jensen, can I have some help getting the knots out of my hair?" he called as he walked. "I found one I can't get undone because I can't see it. It's underneath."
"Jensen, help him with the problem that created the gang kids using him as E," Clay ordered.
"Yup, I can do that too." He slammed his door once Xander was inside.
Clay looked at her with a smug look. "He'll try to get into less trouble on the trip."
"Are we going on the cruise with him?"
"I think we picked four people to go as a test run."
She nodded. "Okay." She walked off. "Let me go pack for this long trip."
"Have fun with it. He'll be going to see everything he can."
She looked at him. "Is the tough thing in the sweater vest going?"
"Part of it."
"Huh." She sighed. "We'll find him a companion." She walked off calling all her contacts. She had to know someone who liked gay sex.
Clay smirked and went to listen at Jensen's door. Xander was moaning so that was good. Because even he could smell the kid out in the hallway. "No wonder the gang kids were using him to get high," he muttered as he went to check on Pooch. He found Jolene panting. "Hey," he said, helping her up since she was trying to stand. "Is it time?" She nodded, gripping his arm. "It's time!" he shouted. Jensen and Xander came running in, taking Jolene down to the SUV. Xander drove, Jensen got her calmed down. Clay found Pooch and brought him, while Cougar took the baby. Cougar didn't want to see Jolene in labor so he'd babysit. Clay could help him with that later since he didn't want to witness the birth either.
Jensen walked into the ER. "She's in labor. Her husband's coming."
"Is she registered to give birth here, sir?" the receptionist asked calmly. She nodded, panting through another one. "Let's get her to that desk." She got him a wheelchair for her, letting Xander wheel her to the desk she gave directions to.
Xander helped her into the bed once they admitted her and got her settled while Jensen fussed, got her some ice chips, and started to call around to find Pooch. "Calm down!" she snapped. "It's not like I'm the only one to ever do this!"
Jensen pouted at her. "Last time we had to sneak your boy into the hospital."
"This time he won't have to come in through a window." She sighed and winced, gripping Xander's arm.
"I heal," he said, trying to stay calm. "Claw me all you want, Jolene." He called someone. "It's Xander. We're desperately seeking Pooch. His wife's in labor at General. Thank you, Fu." He hung up and watched the nurse that came in. "Why do you have a needle?" he demanded.
"To break her water."
"It already broke in her apartment," Jensen said. The nurse glared. "Ma'am, I'm Special Forces. She's the wife of one of my unit." The nurse shuddered. He grinned. "We're going to be here for the *whole* thing." She walked off in a huff. He looked at her then at Xander. "Who'd be mad at Pooch for breeding again?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "We'll protect her."
"No one's going to hurt me or the baby," she said firmly.
Xander and Jensen stared at her then shrugged. "We're overprotective boobs, you knew that already," Jensen reminded her. She laughed but ended up curling around her stomach.
"Anya had less pain," Xander said, moving to rub her stomach a bit for her. She squeaked but relaxed.
"I think that was because Anya enjoys some pain more," Jensen told him.
"Could be, yeah."
She shook her head when the nurse walked in with another one. "They're like little brothers in many ways."
The other nurse smiled. "That's always helpful. Boys, you threaten my people and I'll kick you out."
Jensen looked at her. "Why did she need a needle when her water already broke? Don't most women get to the hospital afterward?" Pooch ran in and around the nurses. "Hi, Daddy."
"I'm not your father or I'd smack you around," Pooch assured him. "Xander, what are you doing?"
"Easing some of the pain. She's in more pain than Anya was."
"Oh, okay. Nurses, I'm sorry if they acted like idiots."
"No, they just made a point that no one was to threaten your wife, sir."
He grinned. "Good, because I'd hate to kill someone today. My newest son would be horrified."
The senior nurse laughed. "Probably, yes. So would we when we had to clean up the mess. Your doctor is on his way in, ma'am. We called him. Do you need pain killers? And we need to check your dilation." Xander got out of her way. "Thank you." She put on a glove and adjusted the sheet so she could feel underneath it. "You're nearly there. Pain killer?"
"Please," she panted, gripping her husband's arm. Xander took her free hand. The nurse smiled and got her some, which would help calm down those scary men. She didn't know military people could have long hair but he was clearly the scary calm sort.
Horatio walked into Jolene's room, taking off his sunglasses. "How did someone trying to take a nurse hostage to get drugs transfer up here, boys?"
Xander shrugged. "He ran off the elevator with a knife, Horatio. I just disarmed him."
"I see." He stared at him and then at Pooch, who was possibly in trouble. "And the other three?"
"All I knew was they came off the elevator with guns and my wife had just screamed for me because she was starting to push. I let them have one so I could come help her."
Horatio nodded. "Thankfully they weren't going to press charges. The first...." Pooch pointed at Xander, who shrugged. "He said you're mean."
"For some reason people were thinking I was meaner than Wade. He pouted all morning, Horatio."
"I'm sure he did, Xander." He stared at them, then shook his head. "We'll figure it out later. How is the baby? I'd bring Mellie in to meet him but she has the sniffles."
"He's fine," Jolene said with a smile. "Is my pookie in trouble?"
"Probably not." She smiled at him. He looked at the baby. "You are very tiny but I know you'll grow out of everything you own, just like Mellie has." Jolene laughed.
"I got her some new pants and tops," Xander told him with a grin.
"Thank you, Xander." The nurse came in to check on them. "Are there more problems?" She pulled a gun. Xander threw a hairpin and got her in the arm, making her shriek and drop the gun. "Apparently there are."
Jensen stomped her in the middle of the chest, making her shout in pain. "You're threatening Pooch's son. That means I get to play with you." He smirked. "Are you fun?" She tried to get away. "Oh, no! You get to stay and play!"
"Jensen," Horatio warned. "Since I'm here I have to arrest her."
"Fine," he muttered.
"Thank you." He called it in and hauled her up to cuff her. Xander picked up the gun with a washcloth for him. "Thank you as well." He walked her downstairs with the gun. The officers were nice to her. "The commando visiting the newborn stomped on her chest."
"Yes, sir. That bleeding spot?"
"Mr. Harris threw a hairpin." That got a shudder from the driver. "She threatened the new mother with a gun."
"Sure, he's protective that way," the officers decided, taking her to the station.
Horatio went back upstairs, finding Xander cooing at the baby. "Why don't you go make her something nice for dinner?" he suggested.
"They have a mommy and daddy special dinner," Jensen said with a grin. "But I can go babysit Junior." Pooch nodded. "Xander?"
"Sure. I'm super babysitter guy." He grinned and handed him to Jolene. "He's making the sucky face." They fled so she could feed him however. They didn't want to see breastfeeding.
Pooch settled in next to her to help once Horatio had followed the boys. "Some day even Jensen will calm down."
She giggled. "You hope."
"It might take centuries but he will some year."
She kissed him. "You hope," she repeated.
Xander walked into Fu's with a manic grin. "People, the Second Son of Pooch has been born." A few clapped. "Eight pounds, three ounces, twenty-two inches long. Already loving the daddy and mommy. So I'm babysitting with Jensen in case someone else wants to say I'm mean." He looked at one. "Wade is meaner. I don't torture people."
He nodded. "You do but you're more subtle, Xander." He grinned. "Sometimes you being bouncy is a great torture."
Xander shrugged. "Not my fault I'm bouncy." He grinned. "And whoever tried to cut some of my hair earlier, you're not allowed to use me as a new street drug. I'd hate to have to kill people who wanted to capture me so I could scent more things." That got a few whimpers. He walked off. He was grabbing dinner for him, Jensen, and Junior.
"We could make tons," one said, looking at one of the dealers.
"He'd never allow it," he said, going back to his card game. "If you're like the two who do it with things like his stolen t-shirts, he'll end up destroying them soon."
Fu shook his head. "That's a dangerous drug to huff."
The captain over the Vice squad walked up to Speedle. "We have an issue and I know you know the cause."
"What issue?" He put down his lunch of tea and chips.
"We found stuff in a raid that stinks like Harris when he's backed up."
"Xander said that he caught a few kids earlier huffing his hair."
The captain nodded at that. "Is he selling it?"
"No. What was it on?"
"He's probably missing some then." He called a few people and put it on speaker. "I'm with the captain over Vice, people. Someone got hold of some of Xander's sweated on t-shirts and is using it as a street drug?"
The captain nodded, sitting next to him. "They're treating it like a huffed inhalant."
Horatio made a humming noise. "Xander complained that he couldn't find a few of his workout t-shirts recently."
Wade cleared his throat. "It got started by someone at a rave. Xander was there getting down with Jensen and the kid ended up tangled in his hair by accident. He spread what it was and how good it was. A few have tried to trim the ends of his hair for him and things. I've growled at most of them."
"I heard through a few contacts and confiscated some," Clay admitted. "Has anyone told Xander?"
"Not that I'm aware of but he could know," Wade admitted.
"What do I do with them?" the captain asked.
"Burn them," Horatio said bluntly. "In case there's DNA that can be traced."
"All right. We know this one has contacts in LA and New York."
"As do we," Horatio assured him. "We'll let them know."
"Thank you, Caine and whoever. It's a bit disturbing in some ways."
"Makes you feel giddy and stupid," Speed said. "Or it does him when he's backed up."
"I've been hearing rumors that he's going out of town?" the captain asked.
"We're finalizing a year-long trip for him," Speed said. "We're doing a security test run with a three day cruise next week."
"All right. We'll keep an ear out in case the idiots pick up more action like they do when Caine's out sick." He walked off shaking his head.
"I'll tell the kid," Wade said.
"No, don't you dare. He'll go stop them and make them more scared of him than you again," Speed ordered.
"I can make sure he doesn't," Wade said sarcastically. He hung up.
"I'll search my contacts for who has the greater stashes," Clay said. He hung up too. He called someone. "Xander and Caine are both freaked out that the club kids are sniffing him like he's a happy drug. No, Xander doesn't know how widespread it is. Wade's telling him today and we're all hoping he can calm him down before he leaves the house. Caine said give it to him, no harm no foul, but if it's found by Vice you're toast." He hung up and told the others on the team so they could be aware of it.
Don Epps, out in LA's FBI office, answered his phone. "Epps." He listened. "Seriously?" He snorted, shaking his head and taking notes. "Thanks, Speedle. I'll make sure the locals know and stop it. Yeah, we have a few here who could be used that way." He hung up and went to his boss. Who just shuddered in horror. So Don went to talk to the local Vice departments and the ATF, just in case. They often ran into drugs on busts.
The next morning, Chris Larabee came in to find a briefing sheet. He read it and rolled his eyes, handing it to Buck. "Someone stole the kid's shirts and sold them as drugs."
"Sniffing his hair was enough to make me stupid for hours," he muttered. He read it over and went to hand it to their DEA contact. The guy knew about GHS because he was a GHS member. "Hey." He looked up from his paperwork. "Someone stole some clothes." He handed it over.
The guy read it and nodded. "They've used Adam like that in the past. I've had two capture me to try to keep me for that reason." He handed it back. "How widespread?"
"This got spread from LA's FBI office."
"One of our convention and liaison officers in the FBI is out there, Don Epps. He's a team leader in LA's office. He knows Harris pretty well."
"That's good to know."
"I'll make note on the bulletin boards. It happens every few years. It's just that the poor guy is always backed up because he doesn't have what he needs right now."
"We heard he's going to be doing some traveling."
The DEA agent grinned. "He's got a year-long traveling group set up. We're free to join whenever we want to, for however long we want to. He's made it cheap for us."
"Security?" Buck asked quietly.
"Yeah, they hired some extra for the society. That way they can make new teams from the ones that survive."
"Good. I guess." The other agent smirked and nodded. "Thanks." He went to tell Chris that interesting news. "The kid has started a traveling group within the society. Making it cheap for them to travel with him and his increased security."
"Good!" Chris said firmly. "I'd hate to see him traveling the world with just Wade."
"The guy in DEA said it happens every few years."
"Even better. It won't be a huge shock for anyone."
"He thinks this came from their liaison officer in the LA FBI office. A guy named Epps."
"Worked with him once. He's uptight but good. Was fugitive recovery."
"Even better." He settled into a chair. "Question. Are we on for the convention this year?"
"That I don't know," he admitted. He called the kid to see where it was. If it was near Denver they might have to help. Adam called him back an hour later and told him where it was and that they weren't obligated but they did accept liaison officers to handle things like kidnapings locally. He hooked him up with Epps to talk about that subject. Other members beyond Xander got given weapons now and then so they needed a safe person to confiscate those at times.
Ezra Standish walked up to the door and took a deep breath before knocking. A man peeked out. "Agent Standish, ATF and new liaison officer," he said quietly. The man let him in. Ezra glanced around the hallway. "Adam said that you had a present that you needed to turn over?"
"Our local liaison officer had a fit," he said quietly, looking apologetic.
"It happens sometimes. Some of you get worse presents and some get mild things. Though that agent isn't one I personally can stand to sit in the same room with." The guy smiled. "I've met Mr. Harris; he's got a backup house near my office in Denver."
"Ah, so you know about the present giving ones."
"Quite well. Though it did cause a few upset stomachs we're more than prepared to handle such matters if you need us to." He handed over his card and Chris's card. "My team leader. Our whole team is his liaison."
"Thank you. It's this way." Ezra followed, looking over the weapon that had been sent. "I have no idea why they sent it to me."
Ezra looked at the tags inside the case then at him. "Who is Mozzy?"
"Oh, damn it, that's my daughter." He hurried up to her room.
Ezra followed more sedately, taking her finger while they were shouting to do the blood test. He held up the piece of gauze.
"That's orange.... Damn it, I was hoping it had missed you kids," he sighed, sitting on his daughter's bed to stare at her.
"What?" she asked. "And who's he?"
"ATF Agent Standish," he said with a smile. "One of the liaison agents for the society." She gaped, looking at her father, who nodded. "The ...weapon he got sent had a card to you in the case." She sat down beside her father.
"We need to test my son," he said, looking at his daughter.
"Mom's going to freak out," she said quietly.
"It cannot be much worse than one mother that knew her son was a level four and then decided he should become a monk once she moved to Brazil," Ezra offered.
"No, Mom won't go that far," she said. "Why did it get sent to me?"
"Perhaps your age?" Ezra suggested.
"You're in the prime age to start getting offers. How would they know though?"
"If they knew about you they'd naturally watch any of your offspring," Ezra said quietly.
"We need to move," she decided. Her father nodded. "Are there safer areas?"
Ezra pulled out his PDA to get into some information. "These are the more major areas with strong retrieval teams and officers or agents who liaison. Denver only has the backup house for a level ten so far. Texas, as a state, hired a retrieval team." The father smirked. "All former Rangers and agents." He let them see it. They talked about it while Ezra got the weapon confiscated and locked in his car. He came back to talk to them about security precautions as well. He also called the local liaison officer to let him know that he had the weapon in his custody. Since he sounded drunk he'd be talking to Adam about him. When the mother got home, they talked to her about what had been found out. Ezra got them some protection from the local office until they could disappear to a safer area. Then he helped them make plans.
Chris looked up when Epps walked into his office with a few others. "Good." He handed over the letter from Ezra. "He's staying to watch them because he found hints that whoever sent that weapon to the kid was watching."
Epps grimaced. "We knew a few of the liaison officers weren't too happy to be chosen."
"Ezra called him a drunken slob who laughed when the guy got sent that nice case."
The other agents settled in to talk about how to work getting some of them without protection to better areas if they needed to. Chris knew Xander had a safehouse in town in case the farm got raided. He told them where it was in case they needed to use it to move someone. Xander had already agreed. Epps called Soshar to get him into it too. That way the officials in charge of the security for the society knew what they had set up to help them.
They finished the meeting before lunch so Chris took them out for steaks and handed Epps a sealed envelope. "A certain one's travel plans."
Epps read it, nodding. "That's a good idea. Security?"
"Colonel Clay arranged for some in his former job to do it."
"Even better." They had a good lunch and went back to talk about convention needs for the next one. It was in Chicago this upcoming time. They had lost three liaison officers to retirement or firings. So they'd need some of Chris's more open minded people to show up. JD and Buck would blush themselves to death but Josiah was a nice, calm, effective sort. Chris could show up to help scowl at the usual breaking in attempt. Ezra could go shopping with them so it'd be easier to hide them. Nathan would be horrified probably so they'd leave him at home to mind the office. Chris agreed that Nathan would probably cringe at the chocolate for breakfast thing they usually had. Best to leave the uptight at home for now. At least until they got used to the society.
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