Future Needs Being Planned.

Wade looked at the note he had gotten, grimacing.  "Well, that's not a good idea," he decided.  Xander let out an inquisitive grunt since he was reading up on a new technique next to him.  "Paul Whittaker wants to take you out to dinner."

Xander looked up, giving him a confused look.  "Already?"


"I'm not the most socially capable person," he said quietly.

"Whittaker is the sort to chew with his mouth open anyway."

Xander shrugged.  "Will it harm anything?"

"Him when I kill him for trying to keep you."

Xander grinned.  "You look so macho when you're all overprotective and stuff."  Speed cackled from his seat with Mellie.  So did Dean from his.  He shrugged.  "It'll piss people off."

"Go," Speed said with a grin for him.  "Maybe you'll find someone that'll make you happier."  Wade shook his head quickly.  "If not, it's a damn fast wakeup call for those two."

"Did he write you himself?" Xander asked.

"No.  Clay did.  Apparently the guy asked his permission first."  They shared a look.  "He's out here though."

Xander considered it then shrugged.  "Dinner won't hurt anything but I'm not going any farther than that and maybe a stroll in the park."  He went back to his reading.  "I need wooed properly this time, without presents."  The two that had appeared disappeared again.  He shook his head.  "Good but not supernatural," he called.  "The only demon I could've dated was Vesvold because he respected me."  Something in the kitchen twanged but the oven quit smelling like brownies and muffins.  Xander shook his head.

Sam got up to go look.  "Blueberry.  Thank you but I'm not interested in dating either."  They disappeared.  "Thanks."  He went back to the living room after getting himself and Xander a drink.  "You haven't in hours."

Xander grinned.  "You're a good, fussy friend, Sam.  Much better than girls."  Sam smirked but stole Mellie so he could cuddle her.

Speed looked over.  "Some day you can adopt some of your own."

"Some year," Sam agreed with a grin for her.  "Maybe you'll help me pick one out to raise. That way we can make sure you're friends.  You'll make a lot of friends.  I did after Dean taught me how."

"Aw, Sammy!" Dean complained.  Mellie smiled at him so he reached over and stole her.  "We'll make sure you're not a dork like Sammy is, Mellie."  Xander snickered.  "Or him sometimes.  He can teach you how to shop and stuff and we'll teach you how to beat up on the boys that'll want to date you."

"Please do," Speed agreed.

The ghost of John Winchester faded in again.  "Who's little girl?"  Speed smirked and waved a hand.  "She's cute."

"Thank you.  We adopted."  He held up his hands but Mellie smiled and waved.  "That's very advanced, Mellie.  Who taught you to wave?" Speed asked.  Xander waved a hand. She squealed and did it back so he grinned and waved at her.  Kiss pounced Dean to lap him.

"Dog!" he complained, moving her.  "You're getting hefty, Kiss.  Lay down."  She laid down next to Dean to stare at the baby, who cooed, babbled, and petted her.  "I know, she's a greedy little puppy, Mellie.  You make a good puppy friend too."  He patted her on the back, getting a belch.  "Thanks, really."

John looked at Speed then at Xander then back at Speed.  "You're letting him warp her?"

Xander growled something, going incorporeal, and attacked John with the sword that he wore in his hair.  "Most gay men don't like to hurt kids!" he shouted.  "You mother fucking bigoted ass!  I don't see how your boys ended up so great when you're such a problem."  John was dodging the sword but he got in a few blows, which Xander kindly gave back.

Dean and Sam sighed, staring at each other.  Sam shrugged.  "Dad can take care of himself.  Xander, when you're done beating him teach me that spell so we can have a talk?"

"Yup, sure can," Xander quipped.  John faded out.  Xander came back to normal and glared at the spot.  "And stay the fuck out!  I don't need your sort of stress today."  He went to get the book, handing it to Sam.  "Richard found it, thought it might be handy during hostage times so no one can touch me."

"That's not a bad idea.  They can't molest you like that," Speed agreed.  He pulled Xander down to hug him.  "You're a great overprotective adopted son."  Xander grinned.  "Do you have stuff for a date?"

"Jensen is sending stuff by UPS," Wade sighed.  "A box with clothes, some toys, and all that stuff."  They nodded at that.  "I'm sure he packed more than jeans."

"We need to look at the barn soon," Xander told him.  "The unicorn needs a stall and it'll get cool soon so Shells will need one to rest in too."

"We can do that," he agreed.  "I found the feed store online."  Xander hugged him.  "Xander!" he complained.

"Shut up, Wade.  You hug very nicely."  He gave him a pointed look.  "You're the one who volunteered for the job."

"I didn't know hugging was part of it."

Xander smirked.  "If you're really a good boy you can help me go to the gun show in Cabria next month."  Wade moaned and Xander smirked.  "And look at the swords too."  He settled in to go back to reading.

Wade shook his head.  "Which gun show are we going to?" he asked, looking them up.


"So we're not going to the artillery one?" he guessed.

"Not going to the assassins one."

"Oh, okay."  He made note of that and reservations for them.  He had wanted to go anyway.   He got an email from Anya, pouting of course.  "She said guns are a metaphor for gay sex," he complained.

"Some guys do consider their dicks like their guns," Sam admitted.  "But not all of us."  Dean nodded.

"Some of us just like guns," Dean agreed.  "Gay sex we do when it's needed."  He stared at Xander, who shook his head and shrugged.  "Have we let the dogs out recently?"

"Outside time," Xander said.  The dogs ran that way, Ramses jumping the porch gate.  Sam got up to let the other two out.  They peed and Hershey did more then came back inside.  "Nice job," he praised, petting them.  They laid down and settled in to watch the baby.  Dean let her down and she crawled over to hug Kiss.  Kiss barked, lapped her, and sucked up the attention.

"Greedy," Speed complained.  The others just smirked.


Xander was found riding a horse the next morning.  "When did we get him?" Dean asked dryly.

"He was in the garden nibbling on the bushes."  He got down.  "He's not a demonic present.  There's no magic around him."

"Huh," Sam said as he came out.  "Where is the barn?"  Xander pointed so they went to look.  Sam came back with the letter.  "Human suitor."

"The gate should've alerted us," Wade complained, going to look at it.

Xander petted the horse and let it graze for now.  "No clue," he told the watching people, including the ghost.  He looked at the letter.  "It jumps?"

"It does jump in the woods since he said he knew you liked to do that."

"Huh."  He let him go.  "Shells, who left the horse?" he called, spotting him.

"Some human, Xander."  He looked over, tipping his head back some.  "He's cute."

Xander grinned.  "You should see my horse Pride.  And Furry.  Furry's got a really soft, fluffy coat and Pride's *huge* for his breed."  He grinned.  "And the warmares are a bit spoiled."  Shells laughed but led the horse off to nibble on some better grass.


Xander walked into the ATF office, looking at Vin.  "Who's he?" he asked, holding up the letter.

Vin took it to look up.  "Arms dealer.  Why?"  He read the note.  "He gave you a horse?"

"He's a pretty horse.  Very mahogany and he can jump apparently.  Do I know this arms dealer?"

"No mention of ever being near you before," Vin said, checking to make sure.  He shook his head.  "That's weird."

"Yeah," Xander sighed.  "Wade's back in Miami for a few days.  So's Speed and Mellie.  I've got the boys."  That got a smile and a nod.  "And I have a date later so Dean's going to be paranoid.  Thank you."  He took the letter back, going to draft a nice return note.  Wade had to return to Miami to handle something about Max's former holdings.  And make Anya quit pouting.  Speed had to go back to work.  So they'd handle it.  He went back to the house and found the gate guards back.  "Hi, guys," he said as he pulled up.

"Who're you?" one demanded.

Xander looked at the other one.  "Morning, Xander.  We're getting the horses already?"

"No.  Shells has been grazing here.  He's mystical.  The other one apparently someone snuck in.  Are there more than those two and occasionally the unicorn?"

"Unicorn?" the second guard snorted.  Xander pointed.  They looked and an involuntary 'aww' came out.  "That is," he decided.  He opened the gate.  "We only have the two as far as I know."

"Cool.  Thanks, guys.  We're figuring out why someone gave me a horse.  I like the horse.  He's nice, but I have no idea why the guy gave him to me since I don't know him."  He drove through once the gate was opened and parked, getting out to head inside.  He texted that name to Clay, who sent back he was an evil shit and if Xander dated him could he also shoot him.  Xander faxed Jensen the letter on the horse.  Jensen texted he'd talk with him but to keep it because the guy would shoot it if he didn't want it.

"Okay," Xander decided.  He went to check what Jensen had sent him, finding something to wear on his date.  Dean had already laid out the GPS bugged hair sticks and hair band.  Just in case.  Xander went out to get stuff for the horses and came back to figure this new one out.  He was well gaited, he liked to romp and play.  He followed commands well.

Sam was leaning on the fence that led to the practice paddock.  "You should take the formal lessons for the horse events, Xander."


"The horse events are not only jumping in the woods but in a ring and dressage, which is formal movement and training."

Xander shrugged.  "I've never seen that."

"We can look some up online when you get back."  Xander beamed and nodded, moving the new horse through his paces.  He was a smooth ride.  Not like Furry, who tended to be a bit jerky when he trotted.  He got a good canter going around the paddock and it was nice too.  He finally got them settled down and rubbed the horse down for the day, letting him go graze in the barn field.  With Shells as it happened.  And the unicorn who was nibbling hungrily.  Xander got more food sent out for them and checked the barn then went in to shower and let Sam show him what he meant.  He had an hour before he had to be dressed for his dinner.


Xander came home from his date frowning but it wasn't a mad frown, it was a confused frown.  Dean stared at him.  "He treated me like I'm fragile.  He even kissed my hand."

"You do that for girls," Dean said.  "Did he expect you to be one?"

"I don't know."  He flopped down.  "He talked about his investment business but I told him I had no idea how that worked.  I have a very good financial guy who I adore like family.  He smiled about that.  I told him I liked the horses and I'm working on jewelry making stuff.  He thought that was neat I think.  He looked kinda pleased and yet amused?"  Dean nodded, letting him think.  "He was very polite.  I think Wade warned him if he wasn't he was going to play with his intestines or something."

"Could be."

Xander sighed.  "I don't know what to think.  The last time I went on a date it was with Cordelia.  Anya didn't like to date because it was a waste of sex time, which was limited because of all the hours I pulled.  Don or Danny sometimes took me out to dinner but I almost had to suggest it or start to feel like Peg Bundy again."  Sam grinned at that.  "I did!"

"I know you did.  I can't imagine you in the shoes."

Xander shook his head.  "Me either."  He sighed and pulled Dean closer to cuddle.  "Where's the dogs?"

"Hogging your bed," Dean said dryly.  Xander gave a nice cuddle and didn't expect him to cuddle back.  "Are you two going out again?"

"I don't know.  He didn't ask to make any plans."

"Then we'll see what happens.  Maybe Chris and them know someone decent you could take to dinner."

"Maybe."  He slowly fell asleep against Dean's shoulder.

Dean grinned down at the first snore, shaking his head.  Once Xander was more fully out he laid him down and went to get a snack.  Xander would wake up in a few hours probably, when he got chilly.  For now though, he and Sammy needed to have a talk.  It was clear Xander's medicine for the thorn was no longer keeping down his hormones.  He found Sam explaining things to their dad and sat beside him.  Sam stole a nacho and finished up what 'GHS' meant.  Dean looked at him.  "Did you mention anything about the immie stuff?" he asked.

"Yeah, earlier.  He was real confused but apparently we were both found, kinda.  You were found and I was switched."  Dean nodded once, eating a chip.  "Xander?"

"Asleep on the couch."  He ate another loaded chip and chewed then swallowed.  "The guy kissed his hand, talked about his business interests, treated him very politely.  Xander's a bit confused.  He hasn't dated since high school.  They didn't make more plans but you never know."

"That's probably a good first one," Sam decided.  "Even if he was treated a bit...delicately."  He looked at Dean.  "We need him to practice tomorrow.  He hasn't all week."

"We can spar."  He ate another chip.  "How's Mom?" he asked.

"Good," John said.  "A bit worried about you two."

"Why?" Sam asked, smiling some.

"She thinks it's a bit weird."

"Weird is relative," Sam said dryly.  "Xander's treated us like family this whole time he's been working on our training, Dad.  We love Xander.  Not in that lovey-love way but we like him like family most of the time and sometimes a bit more."

"It's easy to like Xander like that," Dean agreed.  "He's the one I got that blessed axe from."  He ate another bite.  Sam stole another one to nibble.  "He taught us to ride too."

John nodded.  "I saw him on the horse."

"It's a very practical skill sometimes.  He's even went off-realm to travel," Dean said with a smirk.  "Usually with Ryan and their warmares."

John gave him an odd look.  "Like knights and that stuff?"

"That sort of realm.  He got a baby dragon on one," Sam said, pointing at him.

"I saw the lizard and wondered," John said, staring at it.  "It's a dragon?"  Hubert steamed at him and snorted, putting his head back down.  "Huh."  He shrugged.  "Okay.  He does magic?"

"Yes, Dad, and it's innate, he didn't ask for any special powers," Dean said.

"That's not what we've seen before."

"Yeah but there's other witches that don't," Sam said.  "His former friend Rosenburg never asked for her powers, they just manifested one day."

"I've met a few of those," he admitted.  "Mostly they were earth-witches, hippie sorts."  They both nodded.  "Is she?"

"On the slayer's team," Dean said, eating another chip.

"Huh."  He grimaced.  "Who's that tall black guy who sometimes hangs around?"

"Roque.  He used to be on the same team as the retrieval team in Miami," Sam said with a grin.  "But after all that went down he decided to save his own ass.  So they've had a lot of fights and they're letting him hang around now and then but not really back to liking him as a friend."

"I've seen teams be torn apart before," John sighed.  He sat down closer to the ground.  "What are your two's plans for when your training's done?"

"More training," Dean said.  "We're going to be in the last ten left."

John nodded.  "Are you going back to hunting?"

"We do hunt.  We hunt a lot of things in Florida," Sam assured him.  "And around here we handled something the other night."

"We've never stopped hunting and won't until they can prove we've died," Dean said, finishing off his snack.  He put the plate aside.  Hubert gave him a dirty look.  "I'll take it back in when I go."  The dragon huffed but settled down.  "Xander's napping on the couch, Hubert."  Hubert got up and went to cuddle with him.  Dean and Sam shared a look then looked at their father.  "Lay off Xander, Dad," he said quietly.  "He doesn't need this stress.  His relationship is in serious hell right now."

"His boys have had problems on and off but this time it got to the point of even we got pissed," Sam agreed.  "Xander's my age, Dad."

"He is?  He looks younger."

"He is," Dean agreed.  "He's spent the last few years with Danny and Don but they've had their last chance twice and blown it."

"I can understand that.  What about his...hormones or whatever now?"

Dean shrugged.  "I've had to fill in before when we were both taken to a demon realm.  If I have to again I will."  He heard a scream and hopped up, running for the house.  He found one of the guards in there screaming and holding the bitten spot.  "Good boy, Hubert."  He checked, Xander was unconscious, not asleep.  "Sammy, get someone."

"That thing's evil!" the guard shouted.

Dean slugged him.  "Shut up.  Hubert's protective."  He stared down at him.  "What did you do to Xander?"

"Boys like him deserve what they get," he sneered.

Sam came out to hit him too.  "Ten minutes."

"Cool," Dean said, pulling his gun when the guy tried to move.  That made him freeze.  "Go let them in the gate."  Sam nodded, heading out to do that.  "We should talk, huh?  Because I want to know what you meant by that."

"Son," John said, floating in through the kitchen.

"Shut up, Dad.  Hubert bit him because he was trying to hurt Xander."

"Kick his butt then," John said.  "Don't kill him though."

Dean shrugged.  "He's the one deciding that."  He heard sirens and looked.  "Upstairs, Hubert.  Go rinse your mouth out."  He waddled to Wade's bedroom to do that.  Sam walked an officer in.  "He said, and I quote, 'boys like him deserve what they get'."

The officer nodded.  "That sounds like he meant to hurt him," he agreed.  "Can you put that up?  And do you have a concealed carry permit?"

"For Florida and Kansas.  We're on vacation," Dean admitted, pulling those out once his gun was back up.

The other officer was checking Xander.  "We can get him to an ER."

Dean shook his head.  "Xander will not go to any doctors that he has not met, does not know, and can trust."

"Why?" that officer asked.

"Ever hear of a support group called GHS?" Sam asked.  One stiffened and stared at him.  "That's one of Xander's local guard team."

"Oh, dear," he said, straightening up.  "That explains a lot about his hair."

"He had a date earlier," Dean said dryly.  "Which is why he doesn't like docs.  There's some in the family and we can call on them."  That got a nod and they made out the report once the guy was in cuffs.

"What caused the bite?" the first officer asked.

"Hubert," Sam said.  Hubert waddled back out and climbed up on Xander's chest, steaming at them.

"What is it?" the second officer asked.

"Baby dragon.  He's very protective but he loves the family, and likes to play with the dogs and the ferrets," Dean said.  "Speaking of, Dad, go check on the dogs?"  John floated off to do that.  "Usually  the furry mooches would've been down here growling.  They're being K-9 trained."

John floated back.  "Snoring, breath smells funny but they don't look sick."

"So just drugged," Sam said.  "Should we take them to the vets?"

"I've never owned a dog," John said dryly.

Dean went up to check, coming back down.  "They should be able to sleep it off.  It smells like the stuff they used the last time to put the ferrets down for a nap to trim their claws."

"That herbal stuff?" Sam asked.  Dean nodded.  Sam smelled Xander's breath.  "Smells like the time that one poker buddy drugged him with the pain killers."  Xander moaned and swatted at him.  "Shh, it's just us, Xander," he soothed, patting over his hair.  "There was a bad guy."  Xander growled.  "The nice officers already have him."

"Cook?" he mumbled.

"No, you can do that later."  Xander nodded, shifting to hold Hubert better.

"Does anyone know about him?" the officer who knew what GHS was asked quietly.

"We have an ATF team that knows," Dean said with a grin.  "They're real nice and that's because Xander likes weapons.  His assistant is back in Miami right now.  He'll be back in a few days and I'll have him go back over the security staffing."

The officers nodded, letting them sign the forms so they could arrest the guy.  Dean walked out to make sure the gate was closed.  No other guard.  So he called up and settled in down there for now.  Sammy could watch over Xander.  His father floated out to keep him company, which was nice enough.  They had a lot to talk about.


Wade looked over at his phone, pausing mid-stroke with Anya.  "What now?" she complained.

He read the message.  "It's from Sam.  One of the guards out in Denver decided to drug the dogs, drug Xander, and tried to hurt him."

She moaned.  "So you have to go back?"

"I'll need to do better background checks," he said, kissing her and getting back to it.  He could call out there once she was worn out.  Once she was napping he went to his office to get to work on that.  Sam had snapped his picture.  He also noted that the other guard was gone.  Which pissed Wade off severely.  That company had been good.  He called their number to see what was going on but it was out of service.

"Damn it," he muttered.  He got in touch with another one that was a lot more touchy and had more prior service members.  It was run by someone who hated him.  "Before you hang up, listen to me.  I'm not working for Max.  I'm working for a guy with a hormone problem that draws gun dealers."  He leaned back to listen to the complaining.  "Yeah, Harris.  No, his house in Denver, not the one in Miami."

He forwarded the report to him.  "Exactly.  Pets?  Dogs, dragon, ferrets, Winchesters.  Sometimes Clay's team."  He smirked.  "Horses.  A pooka, sometimes a baby unicorn."  He smirked.  "Yeah, I'm serious.  He does things like that.  Ten, yup."  He made notes.  "That's what we had set up but apparently they went out of business without warning.  Right now the house is being guarded by two of his students.  Sword fighting and demon hunting actually.  Yes, those sort."

He forwarded the current report to him.  "I'll be there in two days.  I have no idea.  They have made contact with Team Seven out there.  That's his local liaison about his weapons stash."  He made a note.  "Cheaper than they were charging.  Has to be able to handle weird things.  Has to be able to handle bouncy, hyper people, and suitors.  Please."

He rolled his neck to pop it.  "I can meet you there in two days but until then Standish knows him pretty well.  Larabee got the full disclosure briefing.  He could use one beyond me sometimes but he's got some backup from some of Clay's team.  Here in Miami.  Exactly.  No, Denver's a backup and vacation house.  Right now he's using it to hide from the pains in my ass he's dating who don't seem to appreciate him.  We can do that.  Thank you."  He hung up and wrote an email back and then one to Jensen, who'd probably be up and online anyway.  Geeks were like that.  He got up to get dinner and went back to wake Anya up for another round.  It was a good thing to have waiting on him.


Chris Larabee's morning in the office was interrupted by a man he knew tolerably well looking very prosperous and unhappy.  "Who did what now?" he sighed.

"I got asked by a mother fucker from Canada to provide security at a local's ranch."

"What happened at the kid's place last night?" Chris yelled.  JD brought in the report and left.  He read it and groaned, handing it over.  "That company we cleared?"

"The owner fled the IRS."

"Charming," Chris muttered.  "And?"

"That one's hopefully still in jail."  He handed it back, staring at his older friend and former coworker.  "What do you know about the kid?  I know a lot of rumors.  Some say that he's legit, some don't."

Chris snorted.  "He has a poker habit when he's bored.  He plays with dealers and those sort so he can bankrupt them."  The other guy laughed.  "He has an apocalypse closet that's watched over very carefully in Miami.  He's got friends who're legit and not legit.  The reason he came out here is because he went to rescue some friends and turned the idiots who did it over to some poker buddies until NCIS could deal with them."

"That about matches with what I heard."  He considered it.  "We like to only work with legit people.  Not the business guys who will end up in jail or anyone too crime family leaning."

Chris shook his head.  "He'd only do it by accident."

"That's good."  He shifted his weight.  "Does he need someone like us?"  Chris nodded quickly.  "We're sure?"  He handed over the dossier he had gotten from the Miami office.  The guy read it and shook his head a few times.  "He needs someone."

"He does," Chris agreed.

"He's borderline for my people though."  He looked at him.  "Private security?  I know the bastard that's his assistant has to work privately because no one would hire and keep Wade."

"Wade's calmed down some since Max died.  And Xander did that," Chris said with a smirk.  "Had some hellhounds tear him apart when Max tried to get him."

"Strange and weird but handy I guess."  He considered it.  "Can he go private?"

"For bodyguards, yes, for gate security?" Chris asked.

"Good point.  For that there's a great company and they won't care if he's local or not."  He dug out a card and handed it over.  "Have him get another bodyguard like Wade.  Clay can advise him as well since the bastard mentioned he knew him."

"Clay didn't want someone who could change his allegiance," Ezra said from the doorway.  "Jensen and I talked last night about that matter.  Xander's main helper now has his own place.  The house is secure and no one in Miami would touch him.  He knows he has to travel with Wade or someone just as skilled."  He sipped his coffee.  "Down there, he lives in a gated community so he doesn't have to worry about gate guards.  He does take in students, like the Winchesters, on occasion."

"Related to John?" the other guy asked.

Ezra smirked.  "His sons.  He's floating around to nag them apparently."  He finished his Starbucks and threw out the cup.  "Up here, he's set up a full family compound, including barn space and garden space.  He should be mostly self sufficient, fully so if the group goes vegetarian."  That got another nod.  "He's not used to having someone like a regular bodyguard.  He drives his own sports car or his huge SUV.  He goes out to play poker by himself.  He shops, usually followed by someone.  Though no one down there would dream of harming the boy outside of those who don't want to pay him."

"How does Wade do it?"

"Down there, he and his girlfriend have a house a bit away.  Up here they have one on the edge of the property."  Ezra smirked.  "He doesn't like children and there's now two in the family."  He shifted his position to cross his arms over his chest.  "He also has a financial manager that comes and goes as wanted.  He basically is an adopter sort."

The guy nodded.  "I can see that. Any other problems like Wade?"

"Roque does occasionally show up.  He's dating some of Xander's former friends."

"He can mostly handle things himself," Chris said.  "But he has to have security at the farm.  We found two bombs thanks to someone local that was scared Xander would shove him out of the local poker circuit."

"There will be a crew to repair the damage the one bomb did to the pool area," Ezra told him.  "He'll have help in the barn, the garden area, and the tree and lawn service."

"If Wade's doing his job right, he'd clear them."

Chris nodded.  "He's already cleared most of them but we'll still need property guards because people really like the boy."

"Including the arms dealer he went out with the other night," Ezra said dryly.

"He went out with a bank guy," JD called.  "The weapons dealer left him the new horse."

 "I stand corrected," Ezra said dryly.

The other guy shook his head.  "How would he handle having someone closer?"

"They'd be adopted," Ezra said bluntly.  "They'd have to be.  There's a few others who know him tolerably well.  Including Sanders on Gibbs team at NCIS, DC.  He and Anthony DiNozzo know each other tolerably well as well.  Greg and Xander were trouble buddies I believe they called it."

"I know Gibbs.  I can ask him.  I'll see what I can work up.  What about right now?"

"He's awake by now, the dogs are being scent trained," Chris said.  "His dragon's apparently vicious when he wants to be but loves his ferrets."

"Wade said he'd be back in three days," Xander said as he walked around Ezra.  Dean was behind him.  He held up a bag.  "Donuts?  I was going to come get a recommendation to replace the asshole who tried to rape me last night."

Chris stared at him.  "He claimed he was going to beat you."

"He's a fucking lair," Dean said dryly.  "You don't drug someone to beat them."


Xander sat down with a sigh.  "I need property guards.  I'm not used to regular bodyguards.  I may have money but I'm very much a former construction worker," he told the guy.  "Who occasionally jumps into fights and apocalypse battles out in LA.  There's convention security that they might have to help on because Wade's usually found shuddering in a corner by the end of the first night.  My friends in Miami usually go with me but part of that was my two...might be ex's.  Plus most of the lab I've spoiled rotten for years."  He looked at Chris then at the guy.  "If you know him, ask Clay, he'll give you a realistic view of what I need and what I'd probably freak out at having.  Half the time I don't even lock my doors in Miami because no one would touch my stuff."

He nodded.  "I get that," he agreed.  "I can gladly ask Clay.  My former team worked with his a few times."

Xander grinned.  "I adore Clay's team like strange, uptight family members.  Even if Cougar does want to confiscate all my weapons."

"He's a lot like Jensen only he's more weapons oriented," Dean told him.  "He barely does any computer stuff and anytime he has a problem he calls in some poker debts to get his computers fixed."

The other guy smirked.  "I met Jensen twice, guys.  I can definitely suggest someone to do property guarding.  I can suggest another commando to be hired privately for property management.  That would be on-site staff to head the security detail and handle any problems like damage, having to hire people, things like that."  Xander squealed and hugged him.  He patted him and helped him back into his seat.  "I know a few guys I'd trust to do that for my own kids.  I'll talk to them.  How high on the scale are you?  Because I recognized the squeal."

"Ten," Dean said quietly.  "All the way up there and then some sometimes."

He nodded.  "I'll factor that in.  Relationship?"

Xander shrugged.  "They decided locking me in a sub-realm we have on the house in Miami was a good idea after I went to rescue some people.  I spent a few days there.  There's been some...tension because they do a lot of overtime.  They don't tend to do things like go out to dinner very often.  I've locked them out of the bedroom when they forgot anniversaries.  Repeatedly."  He grimaced.  "It's like sometimes I'm the kitchen table and sometimes I'm the pet, but rarely I'm the boyfriend."

"I get that," he agreed.

"We've all done the 'maybe you should take a long look' talk with his boyfriends," Dean told him.  "I've smacked Danny upside the head a few times.  Even Steve has and Steve's not in the bosom of the family.  He's like a cousin."

The guy nodded.  "I can definitely arrange that."

"I have a few other vacation, or escape, properties," Xander said quietly.  Ezra gave him a pointed look.  "They didn't tell you?"  Chris shook his head.  "I have one in Mexico, one in Canada, and one in Italy.  Same sort of family compound layout."

"Good," Ezra decided.  Xander grinned and pulled out pictures.  "I saw that one recently."  He tapped the picture.  "Let me check with someone."  He went to make a call and came back with notes.  "Someone tried to claim the house as theirs but the locals knew better and moved them out.  Wade has called thanks to the security company's alarms telling him they broke in."

"I talked to the local officers about that being a family vacation compound," Xander admitted.

"Good plan," Chris said, looking at the pictures.  "That's pretty and on a lake."

"We have a small one past the barn," Xander said with a grin.  "It's part of the farm vs house line."

Chris handed it back with a nod.  "That's not unreasonable."  He looked at him.  "Can you get me those names this week?"

"I can get 'em to you by tomorrow, Chris."  Larabee smiled.  "Mr. Harris, I hope you work out that stuff.  I've given him an idea for the property company and I'll make sure they know Wade's changed."

"If Wade wants to torture something that badly, he and Anya call up a succuba," Xander said with a shrug.  "I even promised not to take them to Disney ever again."

The guy burst out laughing.  "You took Wade?  Big, torturing Wade?  To Disney?"

"He has this brain tumor that grows whenever he's in bad health," Dean said.  "Just an inch or so at a time.  Whenever it gets too large it makes him do evil shit and become the slinky, evil thing.  We keep good track of when it's growing because we don't want tortured either."  Xander swatted him.  "You do!"

"It's not my fault and it only happens when I've had a really bad incident."

"Thankfully," Ezra said dryly.  Xander grinned at him.

"If you see him looking like a rent boy, it's time to remove it," Dean said.  Xander swatted him again.  "You do.  Everyone down there knows if you're wearing the ultra tight jeans you're backed up like that."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "I wear jeans most of the time, Dean."

"I believe those were tighter," Ezra said dryly.  "I got sent pictures in warning."

"Whatever," Chris said.  "Argue about this on your own time."  The other guy laughed.  "Would just one be able to handle all the others?"

"Probably, yeah.  Plus it'd be a bit of extra security help when necessary."

"How much would we have to disclose about me?" Xander asked.  He looked at Chris.

"They don't need to know anything like what Sanders found," he said firmly.  "They can protect you without it."  Xander nodded.  His former coworker gave him an odd look.  "Something else that means he's not allowed to travel without Wade or someone similarly trained."

"In general, like DiNozzo got?" he asked.  Xander nodded.  "Good to know and you won't have to tell them that.  Not unless it becomes pertinent for why someone's trying to get into the house."

Xander grinned and nodded.  "Would they want to live on the property?  I can put up a small house area for them."

"They can live off-property or on.  On would be safer," he told him.

"Then shouldn't there be one on each?" Dean asked.

"That's an option that would be the safest.  You could actually get one head one and have him hire one caretaker for each.  Then they could oversee the guards on the fence."

"Only Italy and here have guards right now," Xander admitted.  "I was looking at down there and for in Canada because they have some strange restrictions."

"We can get you help with that."  He dug out another card.  "These guys do international, traveling bodyguards, which you may need some day, and they'd be the best people to ask about security companies in those areas."  He handed it to Chris as well.  "Started by a former Mossad agent."

"Willow's Jewish, kinda, and I never had a problem with that.  She's kinda Wicca now and screwed up."

"Speaking of, she's still in town.  She tried to pounce us when we were getting you guys donuts," Dean told Chris.  "She still insists that they're friends."

"The woman is a wreck," Chris muttered.  "I can scowl at her."

"Can I paddle her?" Xander asked.

"Sure," he agreed.  "As long as she doesn't press assault charges."

"Okay."  He looked at Dean, who nodded.  "We need to make sure she hasn't hacked the house too."

"Yeah, could be a good idea," Dean agreed.  "Especially after last time."  Xander nodded.  "The bank?"

"I emailed Steve that we had run into her.  No idea if Steve's checked his email since he's back browbeating his brother."

Dean pulled out his phone to call him.  "Steve?  Jim, I need to talk to Steve.  Because Xander ran into the girl who hacked his bank accounts before here in Denver."  It got handed over.  "Steve, Dean.  Here in Denver.  Yup, Willow of the menacing red hair.  Insisting that they're friends again too."

"She keeps trying to pounce me to hug me," Xander said.

Dean repeated that.  "Exactly.  So can you?  Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "He hasn't logged onto his system in three days, let him check."

"If she touched my shit, I'm chopping her into tiny witch pieces," Xander said bluntly.  "The more she steals the smaller they're going to be."

Dean patted him on the back. "I agree.  And then we'll set the remains on fire.  Because you're supposed to burn witches."  Xander beamed at him.

"You two are awfully bloodthirsty today," Josiah said from the doorway.

Xander's phone rang with a text message.  "We have to go to the local Treasury office, guys.  Where is it?"

"Downstairs on two," Chris said.

"Let me call," Josiah said, going to do that.

"How much?" Chris sighed.

"She emptied two of my accounts.  Not the huger ones but well over six mil."  He tapped out another message to Steve and then one to someone else.  Roque sent back a 'I'll beat her ass' promise.  He got up.  "Let me know?" he asked Chris.

"Gladly.  Give us a day or so."  Xander nodded, following Dean and Josiah down there.  Chris shuddered.  "Now and then he can turn scary."

"Clearly," the other guy said.  "Give me a day for those names."  He left.


Xander smiled at the agent.  "Ready?"  He nodded.  Xander summoned her.  She appeared and squealed until he punched her.  "That's for stealing from me, bitch.  These nice agents have convinced me not to chop you into pieces or let Dean burn you at the stake."

"You shouldn't have those!" she shouted.  "They're using you, Xander!"  Dean stopped him from hitting her again.  She sneered.  "You're going to hell!"  Dean didn't stop Xander that time.

"You first.  Clearly something went wrong somewhere in your brain.  At least mine's my hormones.  Yours... is apparently just spoiled cells."  She got up with a shriek and threw a fireball at him, which he caught and absorbed.  He stared at her.   "Shut up, Willow.  Just go the fuck away and never come near me again."

"But... they're still using you!  They're treating you like you're property!" she shouted as an agent moved closer.

"And I send it back.  Or if I can't I sell that shit."

"I'm wondering if this is because you're better at fighting than she'll ever be," Dean said quietly.

"No, she's been on a kick to make me feel useless since high school.  Back then they thought I was *normal*."

"Well, if you were I'm sure your time training at the Temple of Ares cured that," Dean quipped.  Xander nodded.  Willow shrieked when the cuffs went on her.  Dean sneered.  "He's so much more than you'll ever be.  He's well trained, well taught, teaches well, does for the community.  He protects people still.  You're...pretty damn worthless from where I'm standing."  Someone walked in.  "Fornell and Gibbs," he said with a nod.

"We have extra charges," Fornell said.  "His assistant had us do a forensic computer audit.  We found more hacking from her, cameras again, all sorts of things."

"Pity she didn't learn after Miami," Xander sighed.  "They gave her a second chance.  Fuck Sunnydale.  The whole town can sink.  It'd save lives anyway."

Gibbs looked at him.  "She tried to turn you into the ATF again too."

"Did they laugh?" Dean asked.

"They told her some uncomfortable truths, including that she's a wanted felon," Gibbs said dryly.  "She didn't just do it to you, kid, and you need to talk to Ellison today."

"We knew about six mil was missing," Xander said dryly.

"Closer to a hundred now," Fornell said quietly.  Xander hit her again.  "We can't find it."

"Ask Jensen?" Dean suggested.

"He's on a mission."

"Fuck it," Xander said.  "There's only a few places it could be."  He called someone.  "It's Xander.  Where did she put it?  And if you say anywhere but an account with her name on it I'm going to kill whoever helped her.  Yeah, including that one."  He listened and nodded, handing it to Gibbs.  "Dean, phone please?"  He handed it over.  Xander dialed a number from memory.  Not like he had changed it.

"Good, you're in.  Yes, it's me, and I'm sitting here staring at the little lying, thieving bitch Willow.  Well, gee, Giles, I'd give me my money back then since it's in an account in yours and Buffy's name.  Oh, and about thirty mil went to the Council as a *donation*.  No, but the Treasury knows, the FBI  knows, and I'm feeling a bit pissed off.  Today, Giles.  Of course I have more than that, and hey, I can go collect poker debts to make that up.  It doesn't mean I'm going to forgive this time."  He handed the phone to Gibbs.  "He doesn't think there's a problem."

"I wonder if she whammied him again," Dean said, looking at her.  He pulled out a pen and got her arm exposed to draw on it, making her shriek as the ballpoint pen scratched the inside of her arm.  She glowed for a minute then it faded and she started to cry.  "That'll make sure she doesn't have any magic because it just drained it back to the source."

Xander looked at himself.  "And I'm glowing.  Huh."  He glared at her.  "Get right with the Goddess, Willow.  Because there's a shitstorm coming to bury your ass."  He walked off.  "I'm going home to work on my forge.  Before I finish losing my temper and chop her into pieces."

"Yup," Dean agreed, taking his phone back.  "Yell if you need directions, Gibbs, or ask Larabee."  He followed.  Xander was visibly putting out a wave of pissed off energy.  "Xander, killing plants," he warned in the elevator.  Xander made himself calm down.  "Thanks, dude."

"Welcome."  They got out and Dean got in to drive.  Xander tended to be dangerous when he drove while pissed off. The cops here in Denver weren't used to it yet.  They'd try to arrest him for it.  Besides, a pickup and Xander just didn't match in Dean's mind.


Gibbs showed up at dinner, with Wade behind him.  "We have all but what went to the Council," he reported.

Wade snorted.  "Jensen got that back."  He looked at the kid.  "She's in prison.  No one's bailing her out.  Not even her parents."

"Her parents might but probably not.  That'd give their books bad publicity."  He ate a bite.  "Can we stop people who'd pluck her out of there to use her?" he asked.

"She's not good enough for that," Wade said.  Xander nodded.  "So, I heard meeting rumors?"

"The guy you said you called was talking to Chris when we went in to talk to him," Dean said.  "There's some left, guys."

"Ate on the plane," Wade said.

"I had a burger on the way out.  I didn't figure he'd feel like cooking," Gibbs told him.  He looked at the kid.  "Greg ripped them a new one."

Xander nodded.  "I can see that happening myself."  He stuffed his mouth before he sighed.  "I have no idea what's going on," he said once his mouth was clear.

"Do a temporary break-up," Wade ordered.  "That'll give them room to think and stuff."

Xander considered it.  "They can have the safe house."

"Which one?" Dean asked.

Xander wrote out an address.  "That's close to the station," he said, handing it to Wade.  "They can have that one.  I'll switch the title over.  Or else you're going to have to find people who can move my bed without hurting it."

"Okay," Wade agreed.  "After six months they might figure their shit out."  Xander nodded, going back to eating.

"It's never easy to get what amounts to a divorce," Gibbs said.

"That's right.  Sometimes relationships end, Xander.  That's why there's divorce," Dean agreed.  Xander nodded.  "It won't hurt them or the group you've built around yourself."

"Clay told Danny he should be more grown up by now," Wade said dryly.  "So did Speed.  Toby won't cuddle them."  Xander shook his head, stuffing his mouth again.  "We'll figure it out."

"I know.  It just sucks ass right now."

"Sometimes," Wade agreed.  He patted him on the head.  "Finish dinner.  Your horses are wandering in the flower garden."  Xander got up to go put them back into the barn.  Dean smirked at him.  "You finish up too.  Where's Sam?"

"Talking to someone in Colorado Springs right now," Dean said.  He ate a bite and swallowed it.  "The security guy had Sam pre-clear and pre-interview.  That way they wouldn't be exposed to Xander's hormones before they knew what the job entailed.  We're looking at a property manager for on-site dealing with things and he'd get someone to deal with the other houses."

"I thought about that but the security company was going to be able to do most of that.  Too bad he screwed the IRS."

Gibbs nodded.  "Badly.  He didn't pay any business taxes, no personal income taxes, and didn't pay his guys' withholdings."  He grabbed an apple to eat, nodding at it.  "Here?"

"Out by the side gate," Dean said with a grin.  "I helped Xander pick some.  Half still went to the three horse beings."

"Shells is pretty nice," Wade admitted.  "The unicorn reminds me of Kiss."  Dean snickered but nodded.  "They napping?"

"Last time we knew they were on the porch."  They looked.  They were bouncing around Xander, letting him toss their ball to fetch on the way back.  "Maybe they'll sleep tonight.  Last nigh they were in and out all night."  They watched Ramses take off to bark at someone coming around the garage.  The other two followed, barking just as much.

Wade walked out there.  "Xander, who's the visitor?" he asked, hand on his gun.

Xander looked then shrugged.  "I think he's related to Vin maybe."

"I am," the man called.  "Is he here?"

"Town, long case today," Wade noted.  That got a nod so he called.  "We have a relative of yours here at the farm.  Looks craploads like you, Tanner, that's how.  Sure."  He hung up.  "He's still at the office."

"Thank you."  He left, smiling at the dogs.  "You're good."

Xander looked at him, shrugging a bit.  "No clue."

"Me either."  He walked him and the dogs back inside.  "Go lay down."

"But I'm hungry," Xander pouted.  Wade pinched him but got a grin back.  "Thanks, Wade."

"Not a problem, Xander.  Sit and eat before they think you're too skinny and kidnap you to fuss over you."

"It might be nice to have someone to fuss over me but not that way."  He sat down to finish his dinner.  They went into the living room to lounge, talk, and let Xander read.

Gibbs looked at the book.  "I thought you were working with metal?"

"I plan on doing some cast glass work too.  Not that different," Xander said with a grin.

"He's going to have a melting oven in Miami," Wade told him.  "One spot for metal, one for glass."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "They've taken down the sick trees and measured the new open spot to put down the floors but haven't gotten farther than that due to some bad weather."

Xander nodded.  "That's fine.  Patrick's guys are doing it and he's probably heard we're having fights."  His phone rang and he looked at it then handed it to Dean.

"Yup?" Dean answered.  "Hey, Horatio.  Bragging on his workshop area."  He listened.  "We think it'd be good if they had a trial separation too, yeah."  Xander stared at him.  "Danny wanted to know if you wanted them to move out."

"At least out of the bedroom," Xander said quietly.

"We're giving them the house by the 31st Precinct," Wade said.  He took the phone and walked off talking to Horatio.  By the time he came back Xander was a bit more pouty.  "I got enough of that from Anya," Wade said, handing the phone back.  "They agreed it was a good idea.  They're still apologizing to Horatio."

"I think that's the wrong person to apologize to," Gibbs said.  "I smacked them upside the head, kid."  Xander gave him a small grin.  "Sanders lost his temper and screamed in the park.  Then DiNozzo lost his a bit and growled."

"I...  They locked me in the side house for three days," Xander told him.

"I would've killed 'em," Wade said bluntly.  "Not permanently but I would've made sure they died at least once for that.  If I had known, I would've."

"Me too," Dean agreed.

Gibbs nodded.  "That's not how you help anyone calm down."

"When we were having to come back from Central America, they didn't even think about cleaning out the ferret cages or feeding Hubert," Xander said.  Dean grimaced.  "They expected Dean and Sam to do it."

Dean sighed.  "We were out of town on a hunt."

"It shouldn't matter, they're not your pets, they're *our* pets," Xander assured him.

"True, you're great to the pets," Dean said.  Xander nodded, staring at the ferrets.  "There's times they act like trophy husbands," he told Gibbs.  "And sometimes they act like overworked husbands.  How's Ryan doing?"

Wade grimaced.  "Wondering if the new horse is coming out too."

"We can't really leave him here if we're in Miami," Xander said quietly.  "Is it really hard to fly them?"

"No.  There's special services and planes.  We can even fly back on the same one."

Dean nodded.  "The only reason our car's here is because the demon that sent us made sure."

Xander grinned at him.  "You're a good fussy friend when I need one, Dean."  Dean smirked back.  His phone beeped so Wade handed it back.  "Hi, Steve."  He listened to him.  "That's good news.  So what're we doing?"  He listened.  "No, I'm transferring the title on that one to Danny and Don.  Was I going to sell that one?"  His frown cleared up.  "That's fine, pick another one they'd like then please.  Tonight?  That'll work probably.  Thanks, Steve.  We'll be going home soon.  Yes, with the new horse."  He grinned at Wade.  "Wade said there's a special plane."  He listened, nodding.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Steve.  Yup, for probably two days?" he asked Wade, who nodded.  "Wade said about two days.  Thanks, Steve."  He handed it to him.  "Steve's making plans and that house has an offer on it."

Dean texted that to Horatio and that they'd have a different one within an hour or so from Steve.  He let Xander rest against his arm.  Sam walked in smiling.  "He left you dinner in the fridge."

"That's fine."  He came out to look at Xander.  "I like that guy.  He gives off slightly insane vibes like Cougar and his people do but he's good.  I showed him a picture of the unicorn and he said it's not the strangest thing he's seen.  He doesn't mind horses.  He's got a bed in town he can transfer to until you can put him a cottage somewhere and he has some buddies who can manage the other properties.

"I told him about your people staying in Italy to make sure the generals don't try something else.  He agreed it was safer that way.  He understands you need safety and security, but he also knows that the family is vast and sometimes loud.  He doesn't mind that.  And he's one of us."  Xander beamed.  "I asked, he used to work with the Major's people."

"Even better," Xander agreed quietly, hugging him.  "When do I get to meet him?"

"He signed on and said he understood why you didn't meet him when I told him about GHS and the idiocy of some of the present givers who drop things without warning."  Xander beamed.  He handed the contract to Wade.

Wade nodded.  "I cleared him already.  He's good and uptight about things.  He can definitely handle it if someone tries to invade, including the weapons.  If he can't, he's got a whole project he can recruit from that runs a high risk of injury discharge or burn out."

"I'd like that," Xander agreed.  "I'm told they do things like we would've back in Sunnydale or I'd do now."

"Yup, from what I've heard, that's putting it mildly.  Their general is just like you."  He went back to talking to Steve.  Steve made plans for them to travel with the horse and pets.  He looked at Gibbs.  "Are you flying back with us?"

"Yes, because those generals are now very interested in recruiting Xander."

"You can point out I'm fairly openly and loudly gay," Xander said dryly.  "And I squeal."

"I have.  Some of the covert ones are insane."

Xander grinned.  "During the convention of Xanders I met one who was a ballistics tech and dating Tony."  Gibbs whimpered, shaking his head muttering 'no' over and over.  "The new director, after Sheppard got outed, moved your team to Miami because you guys got on well with Horatio."

Gibbs stared at him oddly.  "Less politics," Dean quipped.

"That's a good point," Gibbs said dryly.  "Sanders would like to surf.  DiNozzo would like the beach and Spring Break."

"Hell, even I like Spring Break," Wade muttered.  Steve laughed and said he did too.  Wade finished up and hung up, tossing him his phone back.  "All set for two days at noon.  We'll have to get the horse there so he's rented a trailer for tomorrow and the next day."  Xander nodded.  "That way you can work on any issues he might have."

"That's cool.  Thanks, Wade."

"No hugging, Xander."

"Yes, dear."

"Convention of Xanders?" Dean asked.

"Lavelle," Wade sighed, sitting down.  Dean nodded he'd heard about him from Xander.

"There's a few other worlds with Xanders like me," Xander said with a grin.  Gibbs moaned and shuddered.  "One's dating Oz for some reason.  There's one where I got deaged in New York, at the brothel, so they evacuated me to your family.  I got reraised as a Winchester.  In and out of time to help that go faster.  We all went to train in the dance and the temples."  He beamed.  "He was dating you two."  Dean shivered.  "They live in Colorado Springs in their world."

"Wow," Sam said, blinking a few times.  "Huh.  Dad would've freaked out."

"Little bit but a DPP person told him why after I got handed over and the demon fled.  Then he went to talk to Adam."  He grinned.  "In the one where I'm with Oz, Adam and Ray hung out with us all the time and I was designing some clothes.  He's the one I learned the forge work from.  He also wrote some really great books.  Lavelle got other Xanders into it so I saw the me who's a fantasy novelist.  I saw one where I'm President of the US."  Gibbs choked, going to the bathroom to calm down.

"Interestingly enough, his guard teams are Chris's and Gibbs's.  He was dating Ezra.  There's one that Willow and Giles turned into a sividia to protect Sunnydale.  He married the not-fully-evil Sam because his blood taint meant that Xander couldn't hurt him.  They were kinda fated.  He had all sorts of ideas about wing foreplay."  He grinned.  "There's one where Willow wanted to *bond* so she did a cross-realms scrying."

"But that would have the possibility of linking them," Sam said, blinking hard.

Xander nodded.  "A lot.  He had the full memories of eight Xanders and another five in a minor way.  He went CSI too.  So did a few others."  He bounced a bit.  "President Xander had went to Africa after Sunnydale had a final apocalypse.  He hunted missing but called slayers for a long time.  He learned a lot.  So did the twin Xanders.  They were CSI and owned an artillery design firm.  They did their internship for ballistics under Abby and one's a profiler too.  Riley Finn tried to make them move everyone to here in Denver so Larabee could control them and then end up taking them out because he wouldn't put up with them.  They were working in Mac's lab in New York.  So was one of the other ones."

Gibbs came out.  "How many Xanders were there?"

"Three hundred and three."  He beamed.  "We're holding it yearly now."

"If there's a final apocalypse on their worlds, and they're forced to evacuate, they're coming to Lavelle's world or here," Wade quipped.

"I liked the idea of Laevlle's retirement option."  He looked at the brothers.  "He owned a small island and set it up as a paradise for retiring thieves.  He built an apartment complex and kept pros on staff, paid and all, treated like regular employees with the right of refusal if they didn't feel like it that way, and a huge house for his family.  Beaches, jungles, a river on the island.  Some water falls.  Training areas.  Places for everyone to tinker.  That way he knew his boys couldn't be too stupid when they strayed.  His little girl with Jigen was trying to rope Vecchio, Ray's friend in Chicago."

"Do we have that necklace?" Wade asked.

"I asked Amanda to get it for me.  She hasn't quite gotten it yet."

"Why?" Gibbs asked.  Xander pulled out his phone and got into the pictures, showing him a few.  He nodded slowly.  "They're handsome and she's pretty."

"That's all Lavelle in that choker.  Plus Janus laid a fertility spell on his version.  He had his own kids."  Gibbs looked horrified.  Dean was shuddering and curling up some.  Xander grinned.  "He said if his boys pissed him off permanently he was going to come hit on Clay."  He grinned.  "So we're going to be hiding the one here.  I told Amanda why and she agreed it was a good idea.  Even if it would be handy sometimes."  He sat down with his phone beside him again.

"Since Lavelle is Xander in that world," Wade said dryly.  "It's going somewhere he can't be tempted to use it too."

"Thank you, God!" Sam said loudly.  "I can't even imagine!"

"Gunn had a son in his world and he locked Lavelle in it first so he had to learn how to use it."  He grinned.  "He had to learn all sorts of girl arts."

Dean moaned, holding his own dick.  "That's just wrong, dude."

"Which is why we're hiding it," Wade assured him.

"We can help," Sam offered.  "Talk to some hunters."

"They'd want to destroy it and it's a magical artifact," Xander told him.  "I'm not going to do more than try it on for a minute then put it into the box."

"Clay heard and threatened to make Jensen learn how to use it for missions."

"Jensen would be more warped, not less," Dean complained.

Wade shrugged but grinned.  "Anya said she wanted to try it to see what being a guy was like."

"So hey, got plans for your next anniversary?" Xander joked.

"Possibly she does, yeah."  He shook his head and went to get a drink, handing Xander a bottle of water on his way back to his seat.

"Lavelle said the bad guy that put him in it to make him quit complaining that he had kidnaped him off a beach while on vacation made him unable to stand up.  It doesn't hurt but it's freaky to suddenly be female with K-cups."  Sam choked, but Dean was still cupping his dick.  "Lavelle said he got all sorts of mean ideas."

"Yeah, I would too," Dean assured him.   "And then I'd have thrown the damn thing in the ocean."

"Then someone hapless would've found it," Gibbs said.

"Point.  Destroying it?"

"It let him have a family, Dean," Xander said more quietly.

"Still freaky."

"Yeah but it let him have the twins and then the later twins and then baby Alex.  It finally bagged him people who could keep up and help protect him.  Who mostly loved him.  He even got them sucked into anime festivals.  The Martian Mouse me was really happy that he was still going in mouse costume.  And he had such cute baby mice!" he cooed.  "And his bike's very hot."

"If you start dating a six foot tall talking mouse we'll know why," Sam quipped.  Xander grinned at him.

"If he does, I'd wonder how he wasn't sweltering in Miami," Gibbs said, shaking his head to clear that image.

Xander grinned.  "Throttle's very soft.  And slightly kinky.  He complained that they had broken their bed again.  Apparently he wasn't left the family bed or it never made it out of Sunnydale."

"That thing weighs a ton," Wade reminded him.  "Even if it is comfortable to nap on."  Xander grinned.  "I almost expected one here."

"There's a huge ancient bed I bought for the house in Canada and one in Italy."

"I guess that works."  He patted him on the back.  "I know they were running self defense workshops there."

"We need to spar tomorrow anyway," Dean said.  "Xander hasn't all week."  Wade nodded so they went to the salle to do that.  Xander was bouncy, it'd help him sleep.  Dean and Sam too.  Plus maybe their father could quit nagging for a bit.  "Wooden swords?"

"Sure," Xander agreed, taking his.  They set up to attack Xander and it was better.  Xander was clearly slacking but it was great.  Even if Xander did trip over his feet once.  He still beat him and Sam.

John faded in and pointed.  "Is that really considered fighting?"

"It's one that almost no one can fully counter," Wade said dryly.

"But he's *dancing*."

"That too," Wade said dryly.  "You should see the full things."  John gave him an odd look but faded out to go watch some more.

"That's mean," Gibbs said quietly.  "Let me get to bed.  I'll see you at breakfast."

"That's fine."  Wade yawned and got up to hit his own bunk.  The dragon plopped himself down with him so it was fine.  The dogs whined.  "He's sparring, dogs.  Give him an hour."  They barked and went to watch from the porch.  He looked at the dragon.  "They're spoiled."  Hubert snorted some steam and curled up better.  Wade smirked, letting himself fall asleep with the warm bundle of scales that was pretending to be a heating pad.

John was watching and winced when he saw Dean finally snap and slam Xander into a wall to kiss him.  "Boys?" he asked.  Sam banished him.  He sighed and had to take it for a bit.  He'd watch over them later.  And then talk to his oldest son about how he wasn't really supposed to sleep with his teacher.  Even if he was broadcasting so much that a ghost was feeling urges he shouldn't be able to.  Of course, his wife came to take his mind off things for him.  That was the greatest thing about her.


Buck Wilmington walked into the store, taking off his sunglasses to smile at the cashier.  "Someone here asked me to come meet them?"  The cashier pointed so he went into the back.  He paused.  He knew the guy tied to the chair.  "What did you do?" he demanded.

The guy behind the desk smiled.  "Nothing yet.  We'd like to keep it that way, Agent Wilmington."  He looked at Xander then at him.  "He was nearly taken by someone who really wanted a chat.  Some of the locals in the poker circuit decided that would be a bad way to end his vacation out here so we rescued him but then three more came in.  We left him tied up when we disposed of them so no one else would get a bright idea and he couldn't get hurt helping."  He reached over to undo the knot.  "He's all yours."

"It was not my fault," Xander told him.

Buck stared at him.  "Who was it?"  The shopkeeper just smiled.  "We could arrest them for attempted kidnaping."

"I doubt their people would enjoy that and it'd get them killed for trying to keep a gay man.  You know how the mafia hates gay men."

"That's their problem," Xander muttered.  "They never have any problem playing poker with me."

"True, but that would be wanting you as a concubine and that's what the higher ups would hate.   So for now.... go with the nice agent?"

Xander nodded.  "Thank you for trying to protect me."  He shook his hand with a grin.  "I look forward to coming back and bankrupting a lot of this circuit too."

The man smiled back.  "I'm sure you will, Xander.  Have Wade or someone give us a bit of warning.  That way we can route you to a better game than the one you were invited to by the one that tried to take you first."  Xander nodded and followed Buck out.  The shopkeeper sighed, leaning back.  Buck came back to stare at him.  "I had them taken to their superiors."

"Fine.  Can we have names at least?"

"No.  The poker circuit isn't like that," he chided with a smile.  "Even down in Miami he can only tell on someone if they don't meet payment deadlines and he has to give them a warning."

Buck nodded.  "That makes sense.  Thank you for protecting him."  He walked back out to his truck.  "Need medical?"

"No, I'm pretty good."  He was checking his wrists.  The small cuff burns were healing.  Buck stared at them oddly.  Xander grinned.  "It's very handy."

"I'd say."  He drove him off.  "We can have someone come pick you up."

"We're leaving in an hour."

"We're on the way to the airport, Xander."  He called.  "Big dog, me.  Got Xander.  Some of the poker circuit kept him from being taken.  I can get him there, yeah.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Wade called and said you're leaving from a closer airport."

"We're moving the new horse back."

"That's good.  He'd be lonely out here without someone to play with him."  He drove him there and handed him over to Wade after a short report on what happened.  Wade nodded and checked him over then let the kid get onto the plane.  Buck watched them take off and sighed in relief.  They were all hyper alert when Xander was in town but it wasn't as bad as they had expected.  Even with the Rosenburg issue.  Hopefully next time would be even more smooth.  He went to report that they were gone.  Then he had some great candy in relief.  Even if Ezra will smack him for stealing from his drawer.


Xander smiled at his farm manager, showing him the letter.  "That's interesting," he said dryly.  Dean was helping offload the horse, who was happy to be back on the ground.  "He's good looking.  Fixed?"

"No," Xander said.  "Not yet."

"If you're going to show him, they'd expect him not to be a gelding."

Xander nodded.  "Just don't let him near the girls if they're in heat?"

"I can do that."  He took the reins, looking him over.  "You're a good looking horse.  You'll like the farm and Furry will fuss and bitch but you'll handle it."

"He's very calm," Xander said with a smile.

"Even better."  He grinned.  "Go home, boss."

"I'm heading there.  Thanks."  He petted him on the nose.  "I'll be out tomorrow so we can ride.  Get settled in tonight."  He walked off to the SUV someone had driven over.  Wade made him get into the back and got in to drive.  "Okay," he said with a small shrug.  He found Clay in the back with the Winchesters.  "Hi."  He grinned.  "Problems?"

"Very few.  Danny and Don are yelling at each other and pouting by turns.  Horatio's told them to figure it out and then come talk to you.  He wanted to talk to you tonight with Speed and Mellie.  So you can order or make dinner, either way."  Xander nodded.  "The ferrets are all right, I already checked.  Jensen was bouncy so I made him go grocery shopping for you with Jolene.  She finally found that basement and she blushed bright red."  Xander grinned.  "New horse?"  Xander handed over the letter.  Clay read it and nodded.  "I saw the copy you faxed Jensen.  He's going to leave you alone at the moment.  There's a Sicilian in town that wants to talk to you?"

Dean snorted.  "One of them tried to take him so the poker circuit out there helped save him."

"And a second time from others," Sam quipped.

"He's hopefully going to apologize then," Clay decided.  "The former agents in town are all very sorry they took the quarth asshole's side of that matter and a few are looking forward to seeing you date."

"I'm taking that kinda slowly.  I haven't been on a real date since high school with Cordy outside that one dinner in Denver."

"That's reasonable," Clay agreed.  "There's a few who've asked mine and Horatio's permission.  Horatio's turned down all but one.  I let two of them ask you.  They've sent emails asking.  All three are former agents.  Clean backgrounds."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "How're we going to handle the family stuff?  Are you still going to spoil the labs?"

"Yeah, I probably will, but I won't be in to eat with them.  I can't handle that anymore."

"I would've went during their last bout," Clay said honestly.  "Then again I don't usually get that involved."  He stared at him.  "You'll work it out.  Wade does a background check on anyone you date, just in case."  Xander nodded he could accept that restriction.  "Horatio did want to apologize.  He had thought the boys had gotten you free that night."

"It..."  He sighed.  "It hurts a lot."

"I thought you did a good job with what your special skills are," Clay said firmly.  "The whole team agreed you did a great job and Jensen thought you should've shot them more. We like it when you do most of your own saving, Xander.  It's good for everyone, including you."  He stared at him.  "As for the hormone stuff....  Ryan wanted to pounce and cuddle, his words."  He stared at him.

"I like Ryan.  He never treated me that way."

"He said if he had heard about that before or when it happened he would've challenged them both.  So you've got Wolfe staying with you most of the time.  He's even cut down his hours."  He smirked.  "You can still borrow Jensen and Cougar when you need to."  Xander nodded.  "Jolene went into high squeal mode over some of the stuff you've made.  She thought the ring you made Anya was wonderful."  Xander beamed.

"Your workshop is under construction by the way," Clay added.  Xander nodded.  "Good."  They pulled into the neighborhood.  Wade paused at the gate to pick up the mail and then pulled into the house.  Clay let the dogs get out first to water things.  Xander followed with the cage of ferrets.  Their cage got checked then they got put in.  "We did not watch them pack," he told Xander.  Wade slipped out to go home so he could check on his pouty thing.

"That's fine.  They're not Rosenburgs."

"Her mother's tried to contact you but Jensen told her the truth - her daughter was a using bitch.  She wanted to see Amelia but Horatio discouraged her and why.  She apparently was horrified she was biracial."

"Her mother's funny that way but not always.  Her father's quiet but the firm 'there's only one right way' sort."

"Is she out?" Sam asked.

"No.  She's still in Federal custody.  Steve's due down tomorrow.  Your security guy up there has been handed your suitor file of who usually shows up the most often.  We also told him about Sandburg.  He said that's fine.  He came out to pet Shells and the unicorn amazed him but otherwise it's fine.  That girls school he hangs out built him a little shelter whenever he's with them."  Xander grinned.  "Toby's pouting because no dogs have lapped him in days outside of his.  So expect that trio tonight too."

Xander hugged him.  "Thank you, Clay."

"Welcome, Xander, but quit hugging?"

"No!"  He grinned.  "I need hugs."

"Hug Dean and Sam.  They're good boys."

"Their father complains a lot when I hug them."  Ryan strolled in.  "Hi, Ry."

"Xander."  He pulled him over to cuddle.  "I missed you."  Xander sniffled but nodded, giving him a squeeze.  He looked at him.  "I've got stuff in the spare closet."  He smirked.  "Horatio, Speed, and Mellie are all coming over.  Ray was sulking about having to work late tonight so Adam and Toby may be over."  Xander nodded, going to the kitchen.  "I'll be back after my shift, which ends at seven."  He took a kiss.  "I have tomorrow off so we can look at the new horse too."  Xander grinned and nodded.  He took another kiss.  "I'll see you for a late dinner."  He went back to work.

Clay sat down at the bar in there, watching Xander move around his kitchen.  Jensen and Cougar showed up with Pooch, Jolene, and the baby following them.  Adam and Toby showed up.  Toby squealed at the uncle then at the dogs.  He got down to crawl after them.  Mellie too when Speed showed up with her and Horatio.  Kiss was more than happy to play with the babies.  Clay watched how the boy handled it.  He was slowly forgiving Horatio and the others were calmer and helping.  Now all they had to do was help him find someone better to him and make sure him dating didn't destroy Miami.  Because that was asking for chaos.


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