Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Partners, Teams, and Slayers.
"Gentlemen," the president said over the speaker. "We have approximately 73 dragons left on this plane. What are we doing with them?" he demanded.
"Is there any reason to keep them alive?" one of the guys on the other end of the phone conference asked.
Danny glared at the phone. "Besides the fact that some of them showed more intelligence than some of the people who've applied for federal service?" Danny asked dryly. The president coughed. "I had one the other day who could barely tie his shoes but he wanted to kill things. We did a background and had him arrested on the warrant he had. My suggestion would be zoos."
"Zoos?" the other man demanded. "Where?"
"Major metropolitan areas?" Danny suggested dryly. "Maybe a breeding pair to China since they're all but a national symbol? Maybe a pair to Japan?"
"Speaking as someone who's guarding their present preserve, they eat a ton of food daily," one woman said.
"So do whales and elephants. If I had the budget the National Zoo has, all my people would be driving individual cars and we'd have another plane."
"That's not a bad point," the president admitted.
"And really, even if you kill them, not like you can sell the meat or anything like that, sir. Even the companies who use horses for dog food wouldn't buy their meat. All that leaves is a huge bonfire and you'll have protesters and PETA people screaming about it."
"They did get one of their friends in Congress to put forward a motion to put them on the endangered species list," the female DNR representative said.
"Then that seems the least harmful way to dealing with the issue," Danny told her. "Some may fuss because some species of them eat meat, but they're not particularly mentally wound well in my opinion."
"What about your unicorns?"
"I'm not going to put up with forty pouty slayers here, another three in LA, and the rest in Cleveland if we would put them into a zoo. They're pets. One even snuck into the infirmary to sleep with some of our injured people a few weeks back." The president did snicker at that. "The girls and Agent Harris built them a great, open area barn and a little fenced in area so they had their own space we wouldn't fertilize or put things on. Beyond that, they're apparently sentient. They do answer yes/no questions when the right ones are asked, depending on if they like whoever's asking. Shocked the local sheriff nearly to death when one answered the question he was asking an agent." He leaned back and clasped his hands on his stomach. "Make dragons goodwill gifts to some of the countries that might like them, sir."
"I might do that. What about a nature preserve?"
"There's not enough nature for them to go back to unless they're going to Africa," the DNR Rep said dryly.
"Good to know. Can we tell breeding pairs?"
"Not fully. I can tell which ones are male and female but we have no idea if they mate for life like wolves and other mammals do or not. Right now, I'm going on the assumption that the one that keeps eating the most is getting fatter because she's pregnant. She's a herbivore type though so not that big of a problem. We only have about a dozen meat eaters. Not that big of a problem really."
"That's excellent news," the Homeland director said sarcastically. "How long do we think they'll live?"
"Probably longer than we will," she admitted. "Then again, zoos are used to those sort of issues. Sea tortoises live to be over two hundred in captivity."
"Fine, I'll talk to the other heads of state, see if they'd like some and if they can take a few off our hands. How many species are we looking at?"
"At least four distinct kinds. As for individual breeds? Could be as many as twelve. No idea yet, sir."
"Daniel, anything in your library?"
"I'll ask Thomas. Give me a second." He put them on hold and called down there. "Thomas, Daniel Jackson. One of the DNR people wanted to know if we had anything on different breeds of the dragons? Yeah, like American versus Asian or whatever. We do?" He smiled. "How clinical?" He nodded once. "I'll suggest that. Thanks. Please, just in case." He hung up and switched back to the conference. "We do but it's a mythology book written around 500 BCE."
"It could help. Thank you."
"Welcome. Email me an address so we can make a copy and send it."
"I can do that."
"How did we get that book?" the President asked.
"The Watchers' library in the Caribbean had it, sir. It came with the others, including the stranger books."
"Coming from you, that might be a bad sign," the DNR rep joked.
"Oh, I don't know. We have the only example of smut written in Linear B." She cackled at that. "Honestly. I was translating it for their head librarian and it was smut." He smiled at Thomas when he walked in. "It's on CD already?"
"Including illustrations. We can send this copy to her. Sam copied off the original."
"That'll work," she agreed. "I'll email him an address in a few minutes. Thank you."
"It's not a problem. That's why we're putting them on DVD," Thomas assured her. He looked at Daniel. "I *do* have the right to swat those who eat in my library?"
"Unless they have a good reason and it doesn't go beyond swatting, I don't see a problem if Wesley doesn't."
He smirked. "Thank you, Doctor Jackson." He left, going to swat Sam until he quit nibbling while he studied.
"He sounds good," the president said.
"He's very good. He was over the Caribbean library and had already started to put books on DVDs and CDs. We're over two-sixth's done right now. That'll make it a lot easier to share with the major metropolitan offices that're being set up in Miami, New York, and LA. Plus our people when they're on the road."
"Good idea," he praised. "Have you ever picked an assistant director, Daniel?"
"I have Tony, sir."
"That's not how it works, son. This would keep DiNozzo and Harris from having to run things if you're off on assignment like the last time. Who was the guy he was having dinner with anyway?"
"David Hodges, the local trace tech on CSI Sanders' shift. He's been helping Abby with some of the research so Xander was trying to recruit him full time. He was most amused at the thought he had bagged Xander. Nearly rolled around on the floor from what I heard."
The president snorted. "Find an AD, Jackson. Set up an admin that can go on even if O'Neill gets you killed working with him on something special."
"Yes, sir. You know, we are fighting about one of his guys."
"I heard," he said dryly. "A lot. Even from that pair of people."
"They do good work here. If they want to leave their current project, we'd love to have them."
"If you can get them and Jack to agree, Daniel." He cleared his throat. "I think that's about all, people. Have a good day. Stay on, Daniel. You had a budget issue."
"Yes, sir," he sighed. The others hung up. "I did?"
"A small one. Backpay for Harris?"
"I discovered an oversight. Neither group he works for paid him. We're still nagging Giles over that."
"I see. What do you think sending some of them to Alpha site?"
Daniel cackled. "I'd want to be there when you told Jack that idea, sir. I really would. In a corner, out of the way, but I want to be there."
"Vid conference us in," he said. "Mine's broken."
Daniel dialed, getting Jack's assistant. "The president wants him. I've got him on video since his is down."
"We're having a slight issue, Doctor Jackson."
"Tell Anise she's not allowed to get a bigger boob job," he said dryly. The president cackled at that, shaking his head. The assistant gave him a horrified look. "It'll only take about ten. Tell him if it's too bad, I'm sending him Xander."
"I can do that. Give me a moment, Doctor Jackson." He put him on hold and went to find his boss. "Sir, Doctor Jackson and the President are on the vid link. He said if this situation is too bad, he's sending you help in the form of Agent Harris and to deny her the right to more plastic surgery for her endowments."
Jack looked at him. "That's a bad mental image. Don't do that to me." He went back to his office, taking it off hold. "You have bad timing. What's wrong now? More mercy missions?"
Daniel pointed at the other screen. "His is broken and we were just conferenced."
"Jack, what would you think about sending some of the remaining dragons to another planet? Is there one that could sustain them?"
Jack gave him an odd look. "Sir, are you high?" he asked calmly. "If so, I'm going to forget this talk ever happened." He hung up and walked off shaking his head. Sam Carter caught him so he gave her a dirty look. "The president wanted to know about sending some of the smoking bags of scales to other worlds. He had Danny call. Danny said if we're having issues he's sending us Xander Harris and someone should not get Anise more plastic surgery to give her bigger boobs. Which one of those would you like to deal with, Captain?"
"D, none of the above, sir. Because I still have sanity."
"Yay you. Go to Atlantis. That'll fix that oversight since all the crap we saw on our team didn't."
"Yes, sir. I heard they could use some help." She went to pack and help. McKay would drive her nuts but oh well.
Jack went to tell Sam's father Jacob, who was a host to a Tok'ra named Selmak the joke the president had made. "Jacob." He looked up and smiled. "The president made a joke. He wanted to send some of the scaly things off world."
Jacob burst out laughing. "That is a good one!" He walked off laughing to find his daughter. Anise huffed behind him but he wasn't in the mood for her either.
Jack stopped him on the way. "Danny said to not let her back here if she's back for more plastic surgery," he said quietly, getting a louder laugh. "And if it's that big of a problem he's lending us Harris."
"I don't think we need him. You're usually good enough." He gave him a pat on the arm and walked past his friend, going to find his daughter and share the joke. That was funny.
Daniel looked around his staff area. "Guys." They all looked at him, Danny Messer putting someone on hold. "A few things. The dragons are going to zoos." That got some smiles. "The president wants me to name an assistant director so we don't overwork Tony or Xander. Xander, you're never allowed to go on vacation with Sam or Dean ever again. So if we know a good AD candidate, let me know." He walked off again. "Have a better day."
"Sure," Xander called, waving a hand weakly. "We need an assistant director?"
"Maybe someone to handle things while he's gone in case we got another mass issue," Tony said.
"Could be helpful in case you go back there again."
"Not my fault," Tony quipped. "They liked me."
"Maybe. I'm not sure why you stayed though."
"Thomas is looking into it with Wesley. Reports?" Xander groaned and tossed his over, letting Tony catch it. "Gee, thanks."
He looked at the front page. "Typos?"
Xander grimaced. "It has so many demon words I can't spell check it."
"I'll proof it and hand it back," Tony promised, doing that for him. Then he tossed it back so he could correct it. Danny Messer hung up with whoever he had been talking to. "Case?"
"Wonderful cases," Danny said dryly. "Don and I were asked to a negotiation to keep things fair and even."
"Take Mac," Tony said. "He needs the experience." That got a nod and Danny went to tell Mac. "I guess the AD will be doing that stuff."
"Let's hope he's an english major with a sense of humor then," Xander said dryly, cracking a few of the guys up. "I suck at this."
"You do not," Tony said firmly. "You're better now than you were your first week."
"That's not saying much, Tony."
"It is too. Quit fussing."
"Yes, Tony." He sighed and got back to work, finding a few demon names he had misspelled too. Yup, his week was winning the sucking stakes already.
Later that night, Danny bowed to the demon who had called for help. "You sent for me?" he asked in the demon's language. The demon babbled and he had to hold up a hand. "I'm still learning, Pack Leader. Please, slow down and use simple words?"
The demon smiled and nodded, bowing at Mac, only a bit less and said something to Danny about him, pointing at him. "I'm his partner, Mac Taylor," he said in English. "I'll be learning your language soon I'm sure."
The demon looked at Danny and babbled something and to Danny it sounded right so he nodded. "Yeah, we work together and he's on my team." The demon beamed and led them into the meeting room, telling the others they were still learning the native language but they would help them all they could and call in someone if they didn't understand. "We can call Wesley or Xander if we need a better translation," Danny promised. They all nodded and got down to negotiating hunting territories.
They didn't eat or harm humans so having DCIS there was a good ploy to keep things civil and keep one of the other packs from killing them for the best hunting areas. Someone tried anyway and Mac was there with his gun, Danny right behind him. The two demons bursting in with machine guns were instantly sorry until they died. Danny held up a gun. "Where did they get these?" Danny asked in their language. They all gave him odd looks. "Xander's team handles gun cases. I need to know if we already know about them." Their pack leader shook his head slowly. "Then I will want to look into him, make sure he sells legitimately and not to gangs, not to thugs, and not to terrorists."
The demon bowed his head, nodding at the table. "I will tell you," he promised.
"Thank you." He sat down and looked at Mac. "Sit. The mothers of the clans will gather them for us so they're prepared as warriors should be." The pack leaders smiled at that and two females came in to wail and moan while they gathered their demons to be taken away. He looked at the others. "I'm sorry they had plans that were not in accordance with peaceful relations," he said formally. The demons all smiled. "I'm also sorry if I mangled that."
The local pack leader waved it off. "It was a good translation." He looked at the map again, pointing at an area then at that pack leader's embarrassed look. "You take that one. You don't have as many to feed now."
"We have the hatcheries."
"Are they active?" Mac asked. The demons all nodded slowly. "Then why not put them on neutral territory and all of you guard them together in teams made up of each pack represented?"
The pack leaders looked at each other then nodded, giving the hatcheries a good area to be rested in. It was quickly agreed that their second best guards would be going now and then they'd hold contests for the right to serve. It was a good idea from the humans. Which was surprising since they didn't lay eggs.
John stopped Dawn from going to bed that night. "We should talk, young lady."
"What did I do this time?"
He stared her down then walked her off to somewhere the other girls couldn't overhear. "You're fairly mature and I've noticed you've set your sights pretty high recently."
"I've actually got a short list of men I'd like to be mine in a semi-permanent way but I'm not ready for that yet. I haven't even dated a normal boy. How will I know that I'm not going to freak out and become obsessive or clingy? Or that I'm just bad in bed?" She smirked, patting him on the arm. "Let me see how I am at dating first and finish finding myself then I'll work on attracting a mate worthy of my beauty, grace, and intelligence."
"And if he wants you to be a bit more pure?"
"None of my choice are that picky, John. Really. And hey, once I start dating, I might find I like something different than I think. I don't know yet but all my men are trophy worthy and I need to practice hunting before I bag me an elk that I'll stuff and mount."
He smirked at that analogy. "That's not a bad plan. You might make it a bit less obvious though."
She snorted. "Who said I was being obvious?"
"You were staring a lot at Wesley earlier."
"No, I was listening and thinking in that general direction. Wesley's too old for me."
John leaned down a bit to get into her face. "I know where you came from, Dawn Summers," he said quietly.
She smirked. "I may partially be a centuries old artifact of immense power that helped kickstart civilization but I'm also seventeen, John. When it's time, I'll announce that I'm hunting in my own unique way. Like Xander would want me to." He nodded at that. "Speaking of, how's the daughter?"
"She caught a cold but she's fine."
"Good." She strolled off. "Have a better night."
"You too. Anna's back in bed."
"I saw earlier. I gave her my science textbook when she asked for it." She waved. "Night."
"Night," he called back.
Dean came out of the shadows. "How high is she going to reach?"
"I don't know. I think one of you is on her list. I know she used to crush on Xander but now they're family more than anything else." Dean snorted, shaking his head. "She and Sammy might be good together."
"She drives him nuts now and then."
"Your mother did the same thing to me," John admitted, shaking his head. "When we first got together, she was a lot more wild than I was. Drove me nuts watching her flirt to make me jealous." Dean gaped at him. He nodded. "Mary could be like that sometimes."
"I never thought Mom could flirt with anyone."
John smiled. "She was good at it. That's how she bagged me." He walked off, going to do a bed check. Brenda got handed a roll of toilet paper since she was sneezing but she just smiled weakly and blew her nose. He went to check on Annabelle, taking the textbook from her since she was asleep. The older girls got shooed to bed. "You have school tomorrow." They groaned but quit playing whatever online game they were doing and headed up to their rooms. The one fourteen-year-old girl that had come from Iraq put down her languages book. "You should ask Sammy, Daniel, or one of the Watchers if you're interested in languages. Daniel speaks about twenty-six of them."
She smiled. "I may do that. We do have college funds?"
"You do. Wesley and Xander made sure of it," he promised. "They're in a special fund. Giles doesn't know where it is and that's the problem he had with that one girl starting school recently. It's been fixed."
She nodded. "Thank you, John." She headed up to her room, going to think about that. It was a good skill to have and there were a lot of demon languages. Someone always needed translators. She probably couldn't be like Doctor Jackson since he had been a prodigy but she could be good at it.
John heard giggling so he went to knock on Kim and Amber's door to make them quit and go to sleep. "You two have classes tomorrow too."
"Yes, John," they called back, still giggling.
"Sleep, ladies. Sometime soon or be quieter." He walked off shaking his head but smiling. They were cute together. Very cute together.
Xander looked up as Danny and Mac came back the next day, talking to their friends about their last case. He heard a strange word and looked over. "Repeat that please?"
"That's the word they used for partners."
"No, that's the word they use for husband." Mac went pale. "Say it like they said it."
Danny repeated that and his answer that Mac was his partner, he worked on his team. "They were very nice about it."
Don Flack groaned. "That's a bad thing?"
"Could be," Xander admitted. "Let me call Connor, see if some of his contacts can unkink that issue quickly. Before it's a well-known fact." He called him. "Hey, Crissy, it's Xander. I need you and Connor to do some damage control. Messer and Taylor were negotiating with the.... Yeah, that situation. No, Taylor's not his husband. Flack would be that close, not Taylor." He winced. "Really?" He groaned. "Sure, let them know if you can, but be subtle. He tried to tell them he was on their team. I know, it can get them attacked, thanks, Crissy. Sure, tell me whatever comes of it." He hung up and leaned back to look at that trio. "Bad news first. They threw you a wedding party." Danny moaned and slumped. "Good news is that they'll accept you have two mates because they're like that. You can have one for work and one for pleasure."
Flack snorted. "Not cute."
Xander shook his head. "They threw a demon bar network-wide party that someone here was gay and married. Since we weren't announcing it or celebrating it."
"So everyone thinks I took Mac as my husband?"
"Yes. And the knowledge that you're in a relationship, because they all thought you and Flack were together years ago when he first showed up, means that Mac's your second husband, but you need to be seen with Flack pronto."
"We'll go clubbing tonight," Danny said, giving Don a look.
"Works for me," Don agreed. "Sorry, Mac."
"Not a problem. I've heard this happens when you're unfamiliar with the language."
"I'm at the first year level," Danny defended. "So's Xander."
"I am," Xander agreed. "It'll work itself out. Go celebrate the real relationship and Mac can be seen as your work husband." They nodded, going to let the boss know while Xander got back to work. Crissy called a few hours later to update him. He smiled as he took notes, handing them over to Danny by turning them into a paper airplane.
Daniel walked out, looking at the guys. "Don't feel bad. That's how I got Sha're." He got some coffee and walked off again. "What do we need in an AD?"
"An english major with a sense of humor is my suggestion," Xander called. "Someone who can handle contract issues too."
"That reminds me, I have to see who has one coming up," Daniel muttered, going back to his office. What he found was amusing. He headed down to the infirmary, watching House throw a fit at Chase. "This is probably a bad time for this," he said, interrupting the fit. House looked at him. "Weren't you supposed to find your replacement before you left?"
House moaned. "Shit."
"Basically." He grinned at Chase. "I was checking contract dates and yours ends in a month, guys."
"I'll start the hunt tonight," House said.
"Or ...." Daniel pressed.
"We can't leave them without anyone," Chase said.
House gave him a dirty look. "Is that a statement of intent?"
"I'm not sure yet. I was going to wait and see what's going on with our friends."
"George might eat Cameron." He walked back into the office and slammed the door shut.
Daniel winced. "Sorry."
"Not a problem. He's been in a foul mood all day since our friends are coming out later today." He checked his watch. "Let me head that way to pick them up." He winked and went to check out a sedan from the motor pool, heading to the airport.
Daniel leaned into the office. "So, what do we really need in a doctor?"
"Me," he admitted, looking up. "Someone who can deal with strange cases and trauma cases."
"If we had to, we can do you like we do with our profiler. Have you on call for us."
"That might not be so bad. Let me look for people who can handle the other stuff. Shoo. Go."
"Chase just left."
"He'll make it in plenty of time I'm sure," he said dryly. "Shoo."
"Going." He left, going back to his office to check the other contracts. He pulled out standard ones for the ones that had run out, going to drop copies off on desks. Speed moaned at his. "Yours runs out next week. Ryan's already ran out."
"Crap," he said, reading it over and signing it. He handed it back. "Wolfe's in the field in town. That witch came back doing bad things. Dawn called him," he said at the amused look Xander gave him.
"Because she was going to swat the girl into a wall and embed her if Ryan didn't come chastise her like the little bitch she was," Speed said dryly. "That's a direct quote. He took H so they could have lunch with Alexx."
"Have fun with that," Xander said dryly. "She's a selfish little brat."
"We heard," Speed assured him.
Xander looked at the contract then at him. "I make that much?"
Daniel looked then nodded. "Yes, you do, whenever you cash them." Xander pulled out his paystub and held it up. "Okay, that's an oversight. Why was I paying you as one of the maintenance guys?"
"Maybe because I did so much of it?" Xander teased.
"I'll fix that this payday, Xander." He went to check his payroll records and fix that. In the comment section he noted that the original pay rate had been in under the wrong code. The system accepted it and listed him as an agent but a flag came up saying he didn't have the right security codes. Daniel did that paperwork, which did annoy him. The system wouldn't accept it. He called his boss in Homeland. "Sir, do you have about ten minutes?" He leaned back to listen to him complain. "No, I had a small budgetary oversight. Someone set Agent Harris' payrate at that of a maintenance guy. I fixed that and a flag came up about his security rating. I did try that. The system won't take it." He listened to him get into it.
The boss growled at it. "I don't know why but Xander's already pretty aware of a lot of classified materials. After all, he helped bring down the Initiative. His friend Willow is a hacker." He nodded, checking something. "The payrate got switched back too." The head of Homeland looked at that. "Really?" He smirked. "I'll handle that, sir, if you could fix it?" He nodded. "Thank you." He hung up and called out there. "Buffy, are you in sight of Willow? Because whatever she's doing is screwing with Xander's security rating and his payrate. He's been dropped about thirty thousand a year thanks to her meddling and they do know it's her."
She screamed at Willow, starting on a good rant. Willow tried to defend herself but it wasn't going to work this time. Buffy was in a mood and Willow was making them all look bad. "What was she trying to do?" he asked over the yelling. Buffy huffed and told him. "Uh-huh. Okay." He nodded once at the coming in of Giles to tell them to stop it. Buffy told him why and he moaned then yelled at Willow himself. "That's a nice change. Tell him Xander's still not being paid by the Council. Then have them call me back later to tell me it was fixed." He hung up. "Xander, Willow was trying to fix her security rating and screwed up yours," he called.
"Of course she did," Xander called back. "Because we've been friends forever." He walked the contract in and looked at the system then got into it and fixed a few things. When he was done it was fixed. He locked it. Then he grinned at Daniel. "I've had enough."
"You gave yourself a security rank raise?" he asked dryly.
"I deserve the raise with as much classified stuff I run into. By the way, we need to bring Gibbs on my new case. It's classified military weapons leaks." He walked off. "They still might not let me into the lab."
"Do what you can."
"Not unless absolutely necessary. You know that," Daniel reminded him. Xander giggled, heading out to find Gibbs. Daniel shook his head, reloading his profile. It was fixed. He had kept the security rating. He looked at Willow's and fixed hers down where it should be. A bit lower than Xander's was when he joined the agency. Then he locked that one the same way Xander had. His boss called. "Sir, I talked to the hacker's best friend, who was screaming at her." He smiled. "No, I let Xander fool with the system and he locked it. Hopefully that will fix it. No, he said he had to. He's got classified military weapons being leaked as his current case, sir. Exactly. Actually, I think he said he was going to bring Gibbs this time. Just in case. No, not that sort of just in case, sir. Thank you." He hung up and reloaded it. Still there. He called Cleveland. "Take her computer from her, Buffy. Tell her she's grounded until the agents come for her." He hung up on Buffy screaming at that. Pity. She shouldn't be hacking anyone.
Xander found Gibbs going over demonology with Sam. "I've got to borrow him for a few days for a case, guys."
"Need the girls too?" Sam asked.
"Classified military weapons," Xander told him.
Gibbs gave him a horrified look. "Leaked?"
"Bought. Leaked somewhere. Not sure where yet. I'm still working on that but one of the arms dealers I've dealt with in the past just emailed me that he got offered a classified military weapon in testing. The guy wants to stay legit and does hunter's weapons so I'm letting him stay free for now as long as he turns in the worst things coming out or if anyone's looking for real artillery."
"That makes sense," Gibbs agreed, standing up. "When are we going?"
"We're going to Cleveland. Later this afternoon probably. Shouldn't take more than a few days at the most, I hope." He walked off. He had a bad feeling about this case. Not a world ending, needed artillery one, but a 'he'd do something stupid' one. He went back to talk to Daniel. "I have a bad feeling but not an oh shit, hand me the grenade launcher type."
Daniel looked up. "Is it because it's Cleveland?"
"Could be," Xander admitted. "Could also be that I'll end up having to do something. I'm not sure yet."
"Try very hard to play within the rules, Xander. You know them."
"I know. I also know that with having to do that and the dragon thing, I've gotten a bit too much attention."
"True. Train someone to go on gun cases with you."
"We don't have anyone."
"I do know guns," Taylor called.
"This leads into artillery," Xander called.
"That I don't know as much about."
"I do," Tony called.
"Good, you can keep me in line since we're going to Cleveland. Gibbs is coming too since it's classified military weapons."
"Look respectable," Tony ordered. "No messy t-shirts this time, Xander."
"I know," he sighed, going to pack decent clothes. Tony went to do the same. They came back to go over what they had. Then they left.
Gibbs walked into the store, looking at the mess. "Is this normal?"
"No," Xander said, pulling his gun, walking back toward the back of the store. "Hajid?" he called. "It's Xander!" Someone came out of the back and he pulled his gun up. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Sir, Cleveland PD, put it down," he snapped back.
"DCIS," Xander countered, pulling out his ID. His gun lowered. "The owner of the shop called me because he got offered classified weapons."
The cop gave him an odd look. "The guy's a demon?"
Xander looked. "That's not Hajid. That's his son-in-law, who is human. Where's the greenish guy with the scaley back fin?"
"Um.... We only see him, sir."
Xander sighed and went into the office, tapping in the vault code key. "He supplies the Council," he said at the odd look. He found his daughter cowering in there and hauled her up. "Heja, it's Xander," he said quietly, making her look up at him.
"Xander!" she said, flinging herself at him. "Someone came after Father and they shot my mate."
"I know. The CPD are here. Who was it?"
"I don't know. I don't know where Father is."
"Did you get him that special bracelet?" She sniffled and went to check his desk, finding it gone. She turned on the computer monitor and found the note someone had written. "Xander!" she squealed. He came over to look, letting Tony handle the cop. He nodded as he read. "What do I do?"
"Go to your mother's clan. Have her shelter you for now. Tell them why." She gave him a horrified look. "They could come after your father's clan if they know about them," he said calmly.
"I cannot. It's a breach."
Xander pointed at the phone. "Call, let me talk to them." The cop and Tony came in so he pointed at the monitor. "I'm getting her a safe hiding spot." He listened to the gruff voice. "This is Xander Harris in on a DCIS case. Hajid was just taken, Heja's husband was just killed. If they're going after his clan, she needs a safer spot to hide. I know. That's what she said as well. She's a widow now though." He nodded. "We're working on finding her father. What if they come after his clan? The note they left said they were." He nodded. "Can she come visit her mother for a few days? That wouldn't be against the rules, would it?"
He smiled. "Her mother should hear from her what happened. I can have her escorted. Where to?" He pulled out some paper and wrote on it. "I can ask one of the girls to. Thank you." He hung up and used his cell to call Caridad. "It's Xander. I need one of the girls to escort a young woman to safety with her mother. It's a DCIS case and her husband was killed. At Hajid's shop. Thanks, Caridad. That'd be great actually." He hung up. "Caridad is coming to take you to visit your mother." She relaxed. "Now, tell Tony what happened this morning so he can translate?" She nodded, taking him off to tell him with the cop. He looked at Gibbs. "He has a GPS monitor on him but I'm not sure what his code is."
"We can get it off the computer," Tony called. He came over to do that, opening a new screen. They got it and wrote it down, letting Xander and Gibbs translate it on the map on the wall she showed them. Then they went back to helping her.
Caridad showed up and Xander went out to get her let in. "She's escorting the witness to safety, guys," he said, holding up his badge. They all blinked. "You guys weren't here when we showed up. Hey, Officer, are these your people?"
He looked. "Yes, sir."
"That's fine." He walked Caridad inside, letting Heja hug her. "Her father called to tell me he got offered classified weapons." Caridad nodded. "She's *visiting* her mother to let her hear the bad news in person." He handed over the note. "She goes there."
"I can do that, Xander. Thank you." She walked the young lady off. "If they come after me, I get to beat them up. It'll be good for me since I didn't get to spank Willow earlier for hacking Xander's records in Homeland Security's computer," she said in the girls' native language, getting a laugh and a nod. "Come on. It's a short cab ride." She took her to get a cab.
Xander looked at the officer coming in. "I've respected the crime scene."
"Good. Who are you?"
"Harris, that's DiNozzo, DCIS." The man moaned. "Gibbs is ISC personnel but former NCIS since the victim's father-in-law called me about someone offering him classified military weapons."
"Charming. Is the victim a demon?"
"No. He married into the clan. We've already gotten a statement from his wife and I sent her off to safety since whoever did it took her father." That got a nod.
"Looks like we're sharing a case," Tony told them. "Though, not like the FBI shares. We're only here about the weapons and if you guys can't make it stick sine he's from a demon clan, we can."
"Good to know, sir."
"DiNozzo. Senior agent, DCIS."
"They sent out the heavy hitters."
Xander grinned. "I get sent on all the weapons cases."
"Ah." He nodded and they got to work on the scene while the agents looked in the desk. The CSI looked up. "Is this a legitimate weapons dealer in your world?"
Xander nodded. "He sells to hunters and keeps his nose clean. Anything too bad he warns us about so we leave him alone."
"Good to know. Hunters?"
"There's still demon hunters," Tony told him with a small grin. "Sometimes they do things the slayers can't."
"Even better. Who walked the victim's wife off? The line guard said she was female."
"One of the slayers," Xander told him.
He sighed. "So we're going to run into them?"
"Slayers are meant to hunt and take down the things threatening people," Xander told him. "DCIS takes down those things that are cases, not vampires, not sudden attacks. We handle it if demons start it, or if humans do." That got a slow nod. "We're the ones keeping the border between the two worlds solid."
"I can understand that. So the girls hunt the spur of the moment or the bad problems and you guys handle the big things?" Tony nodded. "And this other person?"
"A watcher in training," he admitted. "Nineteen years at NCIS, another twenty as a Marine."
"Ah! Wow, that's a high level to hit for new hires."
"We prefer someone with some experience in hunting," Xander told him. "Either a history or training as a hunter or training as an officer or agent. That way they understand why we have to do it and the methods that work best. Gibbs is overqualified but the girls love him for being grumpy."
The CSI smiled and nodded. "That's good to know." He found something like a scale. "Is this reasonable for this location?"
Tony came over to look, squatting down. "No. His clan's demons have a blue/green, closer to green, color on their scales and a back fin."
"I've seen him. He's a nice guy. Always buys bagels at the corner shop every Friday," the CSI said.
Xander nodded. "That's Hejid."
"Then this blue one isn't their species?"
"No, and we have the charts with us once you have the chemical analysis to tell us what sort it is," Xander told him.
The CSI smiled. "I heard your lab people worked on that."
"Abby works her little heart out on that," Xander agreed. "Along with a lot of our CSIs helping her." That got a nod and they got done, heading back to the office to go over the evidence while Xander went to talk to a few of the other dealers he knew in town. Buffy came to help him since she didn't know who to go to for weapons. Xander gave her an odd look when she showed up. "Hey."
"Hey. Giles said I had to find out who we buy weapons from."
"That's fine." He pointed. "This is Hejid's brother, Raul. He's a very nice demon. Hejid does a lot more esoteric weapons. Raul does more standard crossbows and things." She smiled at that, coming over to look. He looked at him. "I suggested his daughter go to visit her mother to tell her she was a widow and why since the threat said they might come after your clan," he said quietly.
"I understand why. It's a good reason. They agreed with it." He leaned on the counter. "Do we have any idea?"
"The local CSI are working under Tony's careful watch. Gibbs is also here. Do you know who was offering the weapon?"
"No. I wish I did. I know he doesn't leave notes like that and he didn't leave a letter for you. He would have if he had known they might come."
"I understand. Thank you, Raul. Is there anyone I should ask?"
"Not off the top of my head. He was seeing someone regularly but I think it's a therapist."
Buffy looked at him. "You guys use therapists?"
He nodded. "The stress of the family and business even gets to our kind."
"Wow. That's pretty cool." He smiled so she grinned. "We should talk to them."
"The base shrink is open to you guys too," Xander reminded her.
"Good point." She smiled and bopped him on the arm. "When do I get to do more than say hi to Gibbs?"
"Call him. He's local. Maybe after the case he'll pop around."
"Sure. Thanks, Xander."
"Welcome. Did you guys hear anything?"
"No. I was on patrol last night and I didn't hear a thing." She pouted. "They'd usually brag."
"I have the feeling whoever's got the weapon he wanted heard he had called," he admitted. "Okay, let me go talk to a few others in the clan."
Raul smiled. "I'll warn them you're coming. Give Agent Messer our clan's blessings on his new relationship."
"I will, but Mac's more working his way in slowly. He and Flack have been together for a while."
"Many demon clans do accept dual spouses. Flack has his heart but it was clear Taylor held him steady and tended to be a bit dominant with him."
Xander giggled. "Now and then he tries really hard. He even tried to out-macho me." The demon laughed at that. "New guy syndrome. But I can like Mac. So we're seeing. They're giving it a trial." That got a nod and a bright smile. "I'll pass that on though." They shook hands and he left, Buffy following him. He called the base. "Danny, I was told to pass on congratulations for your trial relationship with Mac because it was clear he held you steady and you were wearing down his dominant issues. That most clans would respect a second relationship." He smiled. "From one of the arms dealers. Tell Jackson my source was taken and his son-in-law was dead when we got here." He nodded. "Good. Thanks." He hung up and went to talk to a few other sources he had within the clan and the other dealer clans in town. Buffy followed to meet them. She needed to know who to shop with. They all agreed that was fine and let her browse while they talked to him. She wasn't being nosy, just overprotective like usual. They all knew that about her.
Xander walked into the lab with Buffy behind him. "Mom, I grew a shadow," he said when he ran into Tony.
He looked behind him. "Hi, Buffy."
"I wanted to see if I could talk to Gibbs sometime soon."
"Sure. He's in the break room," he said with a point. She went that way. "Find anything from the other dealer clans?"
"The person who offered it to him is a halfling and not one of the dealer clans. He's a half water demon working in the lab. They didn't know his name or if he was the direct access or not. They knew he had come up to make the offer, and they thought it was because Hejid would deal better with another demon."
"Okay," Tony agreed. "Which lab?" He handed that note over. "Interesting. Can we get their lists?"
"I called and got laughed at," he sighed.
"Gibbs won't be."
"No, he won't be. Which is why I brought him."
"Good point." He went to hand it to Gibbs. "The lab it's coming out of. We know it's a half-demon, but otherwise we don't have a clue." He handed over the note.
Gibbs looked then nodded. "I can do that." He settled in to call over there. "This is Gibbs, yes, formerly Special Agent Gibbs. I'm helping DCIS since it was reported that a demonic arms dealer was offered a classified military weapon from your lab. So far, no one's totally sure of the source, Margaret. We do know a half-demon from your lab was doing the offering. Harris is one of us. Yes, he is. Yes, the one on TV with the dragons." He rolled his eyes. "Please. Because the dealer they were offering to is gone and one of his clan was killed. If you do know. DiNozzo, what type of demon?"
"Half water demon of some sort."
"Half water demon. Thank you. Cleveland, at the lab. Send it to DiNozzo at DCIS in email format. He can get it here. Thank you, Margaret. We might be local and we'll see about dinner." He smiled. "That'll work. I'll let you know." He hung up and looked at him. "Give her twenty to get into personnel records."
"That's fine, boss. Thanks." He walked off. "Xander, we're getting personnel records."
"That's cool. Anything else good?"
"The scale came back to a Forenth. He was in there buying a shotgun the other day." Xander gave him an odd look. "I know, that's strange to me too. I don't know why. They're generally peaceful and don't eat meat. I'm hoping they have a rat problem."
"Hey, Buffy?" She came out of the break room with Gibbs behind her. "Take him down and see why a Forenth was buying a shotgun?"
"Which one are they?"
"Big, blue, hairy scales," Tony told her.
"Peaceful, non meat eaters," Xander added. "Like the thing Clem had the crush on."
"Oh, them. Sure." She nodded and Gibbs followed her. This way she'd get to see what he was like in the field. Only the best for the slayers after all.
Xander and Tony went to bother the CSI they were working with. They got an odd look when Tony explained some of the results better but Xander's quip of 'I'm grunt support' made him smile. Maybe he should have Abby or Speed teach him something about the lab work? Nah, that'd mean homework and he sucked at homework.
Buffy looked over at Gibbs. He was looking casually alert but every inch of his body was tense. "Relax. These guys are usually harmless," she told him. "They're the pawn shop owners of the demon world. I find a lot of great stuff with their clans and they tend to respect slayers."
"And if not?"
"Then I'm a slayer," she said dryly, giving him a look. He snorted back. "What?"
"Weapons? A plan going in?"
"If it goes south, we get out of there with as little damage to ourselves as possible." She walked in and smiled. "Hi, guys." They all glared at her. "Do not start." One muttered. She crossed her arms over her chest, tapping a foot. That one wilted. "Xander's in on a DCIS case and he had a question. He sent me since he and the Tony hottie are stuck in the lab." They all snickered at that. "They are."
"Harris, in a lab?" one snorted.
"Yes, and remember, Dawn had to get the nice CSI out of him about a year after he joined," she said smugly. They all stared. She nodded. "He was doing a case in Miami and sucked up Speedle at the same time he hired Ryan apparently. Dawn sneezed him out and up a new body." They all gave her an awed look. "No telling what he learned from him. Though, less ugly shirts so that's nice." She smiled. "The dead dealer demon earlier? Xander caught one of you guys buying a shotgun and he wanted to make sure it wasn't going to turn into a case since he knows you guys are usually harmless." She looked at the one who shifted. "That's Gibbs, he's a new Watcher trainee. He's also a Marine and a former agent himself. At least until his director went wacky. He used to boss the Tony hottie around."
"You're the one he got the head smacks from," one told him. Gibbs nodded, looking amused. "Good job with him. He could be as bad as Harris." He looked at Buffy. "Is Harris having visions?"
She frowned. "He's a seer? I thought that was bleedover from Sammy during the dream thingies the bastard demon gave them."
"Nope," that demon told her. "And by the way, there's another player."
"That we figured. Is the Homeland guy with the new plan or the old one?" They all shrugged. "We'll figure it out. If I have to, I'll send Rona to go nag someone." She waved a hand and grinned. "Now, shotgun?"
The demon said something then cleared his throat. "Rat problem, dear. Don't worry about it."
"You shot your ex-wife?" Gibbs asked. The demon stared in awe. "Sam made me learn it." He moved forward. "No divorce?"
"She was sleeping with my son. I got both of them."
"Do we have to call Xander?" she asked him.
"No, she's gone and my son's been shipped off to marry something less than decent and unholy so he figures out how stupid he was," the father admitted.
"Her clan's not going to press charges. We told them why and they said he was very restrained," the clan leader told her.
She nodded. "I'll let him know. Warn us, guys. Please?" They all nodded at that. "Any idea on Xander's case about who shot the dealer clan's member?" They all stared.
"Hejid's son-in-law was shot in their store earlier. His wife's visiting her mother since her father's still missing," Gibbs told them.
The clan leader stood up. "The half water demon in the lab offered them a weapon from a friend of theirs. He was a go-between. We don't know what type yet but Hejid was seen out on the High Cliffs Road area earlier."
Buffy beamed. "Alive?"
He nodded. "When my daughter paused to ask him if he wanted a ride."
"I'll let Xander know." She called him. "It's me. One of the demons here said they saw the dealer demon out on High Cliffs Road earlier." She beamed. "Thanks. Oh, and the weapon came from a friend of the half water demon." She hung up and looked at him. "He said thank you. He likes Hejid."
"He should with some of the things he used to buy from him," the clan leader said. He smiled. "Want to see our newest slimy ones?"
"Babies?" she asked with a grin. He nodded, leading her to see them. The two in the playpen cooed up at her. "Aww, adorable little slimy things. I'd pick you up but Annabelle can't get your sort of slime out of shirts." Gibbs handed over his overshirt. "Thanks, Gibbs." She put it on then picked up the baby to hold. "Aww, aren't you so adorable!" she cooed. It reached for her nose. "I know you don't have one of those but I need it to breathe, sweetie." She kissed it on the head and picked up the pouting one, making it smile back. "So cute!" The baby beamed at her so she put it back. "Good job. They're adorable!" She punched the leader on the arm. "Anything the girls should hear?"
"Not yet. Though you might ask Harris to look in on the bastard rat demon clans. They're massing."
"Shouldn't that be our job?" she asked.
"They plan to take down the power grid so they can feed."
"We'll play poker for that one," she decided, making them laugh. "Thanks, guys." She walked out, handing Gibbs back his shirt. He had done pretty good. A bit uptight but he was used to expecting an attack. She punched him on the arm too, making him rub the newly sore spot. "You did good, Gibbs. Want to go back to the house for now?"
"You guys are crowded in. Xander said I could have a motel room."
"The girls will want to meet you." She pouted a bit. "Plus we can offer dinner and Giles not being nosy."
"Let me call in."
She waved a hand. "Let me." She called Xander back. "It's me. Yes it's important. I'm taking Gibbs home for dinner and the nice demons said that the rat demon clans were massing to take out the power grid. They thought it was your sort of case since they were going to do it so they could nibble. And they had adorable babies!" She beamed. "I can do that. Thanks, Xander." She put her arm through his and walked him off. "Fortunately we don't live that far away. Most slayers can't drive."
"I'll be teaching my girls," he told her.
She shrugged. "Plenty of us would use the car to hit the demons, Gibbs. I only pay attention to the sidewalks and the driver's ed instructor was not happy."
"We'll make sure they can do both," he promised. He was smiling in spite of his good intentions. The girl was nice enough he guessed. A bit strange. A bit of an airhead. They got back to the slayers house and the girls pounced to tell Buffy reports and babble at him. He had to hold up a hand. "One at a time to me, girls. I can't understand you." They all pouted but went slower this time. He got dragged off to the kitchen but that was fine. The others were going over scouting reports. He nodded politely at Giles. "Mr. Giles."
"Which one are you again?"
"Gibbs. Watcher in Training."
"Oh, yes. Wesley told me." He shook his hand. "They're excited so I'd hide from the babbling going on."
"It means they're happy," Gibbs countered. Xander walked in the back door and nodded for him to come on. "We heading to DC already?"
"The rat demons for the night. Buffy, need two girls to go after the rat demons with us," he called. She bounced back and brought two others with her. "Thanks, dear. Giles, I'll have them home at a sane hour." They walked out together. "Ladies, Gibbs is a Watcher. Listen to him. This is a DCIS case so that means slaying only when necessary. You're here to help us subdue and make sure we can arrest them."
"Yes, Xander," they all sighed, shaking their heads.
Gibbs looked at them. "That is the way the judicial system works." They all nodded. "Done this before?"
"Yup," two of the girls agreed. "We were in Miami."
Xander grinned. "Less hard than that. Do we have an official complaint?"
"Um, verbal but not written?" Buffy said hesitantly. "I didn't even think to get them to write one out, Xander."
"It should be enough. I called our judge and he said it was. If not, you girls can have it unless someone writes out a complaint." They beamed and bounced off with him. The rental SUV was a bit crowded but it happened.
Giles looked up as Buffy and the girls came back. "No Gibbs?"
"He's showering. Like we will be. Did you know rat demons exploded with wood?" Buffy complained. She went up to shower. "I'll eat in a few minutes, Giles." The other girls nodded as they trudged to their showers too.
Giles smiled at their backs. "Did they arrest very many?"
"Over two hundred rat demons were going to rush a power plant. Sixty gave up, forty went to attack," Rona told him, leaning around the doorway again. "The rest got scared of Xander and begged. Not even us, him." He nodded at that. "So we're nasty from the forty. And there's a guy at the door, Giles." She went back to her trudge to the shower.
Giles went to answer the door. "Yes? May I help you?" he asked.
"Rupert Giles?" He nodded. "I'm your landlord, son. I came to make sure nothing too bad has happened recently."
"A few holes but we've found someone to fix them," he promised, letting him inside. Wesley had mentioned the man had shown up a few times to inspect the property. "Girls, the landlord's here," he shouted. A few squeaked and went to hide. "Sorry, they're being teenage girls."
"They can do that." He looked at the messy living room. "They can't clean up?"
Giles looked then sighed. "I told them to earlier."
Buffy came bouncing down the stairs. "Hi, Mr. Edwards. Caridad!" She came jogging down the stairs putting on a shirt. "Cute," she said dryly.
"I was changing for patrol. Hi, Mr. Edwards." She gave him a hug. "Yes, they're being slobs today but we've all told them to do their chores. The two causing problems are about to be sent back to base if they're not going to behave. I promise we'll have it fixed."
He smiled. "I know you will, Caridad. You're a good helper." He patted her on the cheek. "You called about the foundation cracking?"
"Out back," she said, leading him to show him that and the basement. "I'm worried it'll start a bit of seeping. I called Xander to ask since he had worked construction and he said it could. I didn't want it to damage things."
"No, that's a good thing," he promised. "Stopping a problem early costs less." He looked inside then at her. "The slime on the wall?" he asked quietly.
"Probably the ones who just came in. They're cleaning this Sunday even if I have to get Faith back here to make sure." He smiled at that. "How do we fix this?"
"This one should just need resealed." He patted her on the back. "I'll send someone to do that. Any other repairs I should do?"
"No, the rest is our fault. Well, except for a bedroom door and that was her fault really. She was throwing a fit and slammed it." He nodded at that. "So we'll fix it." He nodded, smiling at her. "When is he coming so we can have someone here to deal with it beyond Mr. Giles?"
"I'll call and let you girls know."
"Sure." She led him back to his car. "You got the rent check all right? It's the first month it got sent automatically."
"I did," he agreed happily. "It's nice. That way Wesley's not too distracted to send it." She beamed at that. "You're a good girl, Caridad." He got into his car and headed off to call his handyman about that problem.
She bounced inside. "He's having someone come to fix the crack in the foundation wall. Also, he said to clean the place." She glared at Buffy and pointed. "He did notice." She groaned, going to get a sponge. "Don't make me call Faith back for a cleaning spree," she shouted. "The landlord said we're pigs." The girls all groaned and got to work cleaning things.
"Faith made them do chores?" Giles asked. "That doesn't sound like her."
"Faith got tired of stepping on magazines and nearly took a crossbow to some of the younger girls who were being slobs," she told him. "After the first time, it stopped." He just nodded and went back to the kitchen. "Anything left from dinner, Mr. Giles?"
"Yes but the three girls who were out get first pick, Caridad."
Buffy went to do that. The other two too. There wasn't enough so Buffy used her allowance to call out for pizza. That made all the girls happy and the cleaning went better once music got turned on. Giles shook his head. Perhaps he should start assigning chores again. He walked past the board and found a chores schedule already up. Done in Caridad's precise handwriting so he smiled at her.
"Someone has to."
"Good point. Thank you, Caridad."
"Welcome, Mr. Giles. Have you tried looking at commercial real estate?"
"I have. Nothing of the size we might someday need has come up."
"You know, that one building up the street is open," Buffy said, pushing back her hair while she scrubbed off the slime. "Remember, we're going to have a few girls here, not a ton of girls, Giles."
"True." He patted her on the head. "I do want area for growth."
"Which you can have," she agreed. "Just buy another lot and build on." She smirked. "The Heaven's Bell school is open too." He went to look that up. She smiled at Caridad, who smirked back. It was really cramped here. This would get them somewhere larger once it was fixed for their unique needs. She called Xander to look that one over and he faxed back a report an hour later. "Oops. Giles, Xander said it has some severe structural issues," she called. She walked it into the office. "I had him do a drive by." She gave him a hug around the neck. "He made a suggestion though." He looked. Then he looked up that school. It was nice looking. "See, big enough for us but they're growing too much."
He nodded. "I can see that." He smiled at her. "If it's in use it shouldn't need too much fixing. Though it has no on-site housing."
"That can be a fixing thing. Like the dorms, Giles."
"Good point, Buffy." He gave her a pat. "All clean?"
"No," she moaned, going back to it. Caridad handed her a spray bottle. "What's this?"
"The slime eater Anna uses to pretreat laundry." Buffy tested a spot. It worked but the wall changed colors so they sighed and went back to bleach and a sponge. It was nasty work but slayers had to clean up goo plenty of times. It was part of the calling.
Xander found the half demon they were looking for nearly as soon as they walked into the lab in DC. As a matter of fact he spotted him and the demon took off running. "Make me shoot you near chemicals. Watch my rep grow," Xander called after him. The demon skidded to a halt and looked around fearfully then back at him. "Come here. Now." The demon moaned but walked back there. The guard came running so he pulled his ID. "DCIS. I need to ask this one a few questions. Do we have a private room I can use?"
"Um." He looked at the ID then at him. "DCIS?"
"We handled the dragons," he said dryly. "And the LA invasion."
"Oh! Them. Why do you need him? Is he doing bad things to the funny looking people?"
"Yup." The guard sneered at him. Tony strolled in with Gibbs behind him and the lab's manager behind them. "I think this is him. He took off running."
"Cool," Tony said with a smirk. The demon moaned. "Let's go talk." They walked him off to the office. The guard had to stay outside but that was fine with them. "If it was you, we know you were an intermediary. You might want to sing like a canary to save yourself going down for the murder."
"Murder?" he asked.
"Murder of Hejid's son-in-law. Kidnaping of him. Putting an explosive device on him." The demon shuddered. "You, not you?"
"I had nothing to do with that. One of the humans wanted to sell him something. They said he'd deal better with a half-demon. It was an extra five hundred on my small paycheck," he defended, backing up. "Please, man, I've got family!"
"Your records say you're single," Xander told him. The demon swallowed.
Tony looked at his PDA. "It does. With no dependents." He looked up. "You have family?"
"I've got a mother!"
Xander called someone. "We think we have the link. He claims he has family. Him." He listened. Then he nodded. "Thanks." He hung up and put his phone back. "He has one cousin that has been expelled from the clan. As he has been. His family is a schnauzer and gambling debts." Tony smirked at him. "I always talk to the clan leader when it's a single member situation. We want the humans. If so, you're only an accessory to weapons trafficking. Which is ten years in jail. If not, you're going to go down for accessory to kidnaping, terrorist activities by planting the bomb, murder for hire, and weapons trafficking."
The man spluttered but nodded. "Greg and Randy from this lab are working with Reginald from DynaSys."
"I know them," the lab manager told them. "I can have them called up here."
"Please," Tony agreed with a smile. "Thank you for cooperating."
"Doing this openly means our lab gets a bad reputation. I don't like that." She called the two she had and called over to the other lab to talk to their people. That one would be brought over after his boss talked to him. While they were waiting two Homeland Security agents walked in. Tony looked over. "Are you involved in this case as well?" she asked.
"We need to talk to our fellow agents, see if we're charge of the prisoners or they are." They walked them into the hall, ignoring Xander totally. "What's going on?"
"A few of the guys here tried to sell a classified weapon to a dealer demon who runs a gun shop we know about. They killed his son-in-law, kidnaped him, put a bomb on him, and then made him walk home."
The agents nodded once, then smirked. "Want us to take them so you can get out of town sooner? Gibbs is going to spot you soon."
"Considering he was inside and he's a Watcher now?" Xander suggested dryly. They glared at him. "What?"
"We don't like you," one told him.
"Do I give a damn?" He shrugged. "Yay you." He smiled sweetly. "Step off, boys." They stepped back. "I don't care what rumors are going around now. I never have. You can work with us or not. The same boss signs our paychecks."
"There's no way you'd pass into Homeland," the other of them sneered.
Xander looked at his ID then held it up and pointed at a line. "DCIS is under Homeland." They all stared at him. "We've been around since the year the president got assassinated by a demon. It was a slow move to a full agency but that was us too." They stepped back. "For that matter, I've been there longer than Jackson and DiNozzo have. I'm the one who helped the base get help with the former watchers went rogue and tried to kill them all. Before then the sheriff hadn't known there was a problem. So jump off it. I don't care what my rep says."
"It says you're a loose cannon and dangerous."
"Only if you're hurting innocents," Xander said. "I earned my rep, guys. You go after the little kids and you get my foot up your ass. Now, is there anything else?"
"Just get out of DC."
"Unfortunately, the job calls. If you don't like it, yay you. Take it up with your supervisor." They stomped off. He looked at Tony. "Why do we put up with them?"
"It's easier to let them vent. They and FBI agents have god syndrome sometimes." He found his phone and dialed a number. "Doctor Hertzberg, Tony DiNozzo. Can you please pass a message back to your TA? Yes, that one. Tell her some of her daddy's people were here threatening and keeping DCIS from doing our job. They don't like us being in the same department so apparently we're all bad to them. Also tell her they're lucky I didn't break bad and make Homeland have to hire. We're not pleased. Thank you." He hung up with a smirk. "The AD at Homeland's daughter is a TA with a teacher I know of." They walked back inside to go back to their questioning. They got a few odd looks but he shrugged it off. "They're having spoiled brats days."
"It happens to all agencies now and then when you're a monolith of inefficiency," Gibbs noted dryly. "Called to leave a message for the TA?"
"Yup. It's the safest way. Hey, maybe they'll move us out of Homeland so we don't have to argue about the budget anymore." He cuffed their suspects and they started to sing and rant about the people who had gotten them the weapon. They picked them up too. Their jails were going to get really full soon. Xander had them read their rights as they walked off. Tony promised to get his bag for him since they were going back by portal. He wanted to talk to someone higher up in person. They parted ways and Tony went to Homeland's block-long building. His badge got him in and an interview pretty quickly. The head guy gave him an embarrassed look. "I take it you heard?"
"I did. They're on dog detail."
"Good. They're damn lucky I didn't react with them getting in my face and ignoring Xander."
"I know, DiNozzo. Is this a courtesy call?"
"Well, we did just arrest ten people involved in selling classified weapons," he said dryly, giving him a look. He got a groan back. "Humans and one half demon."
"We might want to take them to a regular jail once your judge is done with them."
"They confessed very well," Tony assured him. "They're kinda scared of our jail." He smirked. "Anyway. We don't like them. I don't care if they don't like Xander or his rep for doing whatever he has to so innocents and slayers are protected."
The guy sighed, shaking his head. "They don't like your whole agency and having it under us is causing problems."
"Then move us and give us a better budget, sir."
The head of Homeland gave him an odd look. "Where would it be put?"
Tony shrugged. "I don't know. The FBI has their own category. You guys have yours. We can have our own budget category. It would mean others couldn't try to steal our budget."
"True. I'll talk to the president about that. Having some oversight is good for you."
"Some, but then again we've had hints that the director who stole those files did it to appease a demon he made a deal with." The man moaned. "And that there's a new power player behind things but he's being more subtle. Probably guiding the rumors."
"Since he stole Sam Winchester and Xander's file....." He let it trail off.
"Why? I know Winchester is special in a few ways."
"Harris is too. Hurting either one is a sure way to get every single slayer in your face too."
"I can see that." He rubbed his nose with a finger then looked at him. "I'll talk with him about that. There's plenty of agents who're not liking having you guys under Homeland. None of them want to do your job, but they don't like the thought of you being necessary."
"And yet last night we kept a huge clan of rat demons from plunging Cleveland into the dark so they could have a buffet, sir."
He winced. "We didn't even hear about that."
"We did when Xander sent Buffy to talk to a demon about why he bought a shotgun."
The head of Homeland shook his head. "Let me talk to the president, see what we can do, DiNozzo. How are you liking it?"
"I like the job, sir. Though, an AD?"
"You should have someone stable."
"Yeah, but unless they're a free-thinking english major, they're going to be pretty bored. All they'd have to do is proofread reports. Coordinate where teams are. I made sure we're not paperwork intensive."
"Good job with that, DiNozzo. What about your doctors?"
"Daniel reminded House he had forgotten to get a replacement and his contract's up in a month. I'm not sure yet."
"Okay. That makes sense. Let me talk to the president tonight. Are you heading home?"
"We are. Gibbs came with us as a watcher in case we needed his help with the weapons lab. He got some field watching experience last night too. Said he had no idea the girls were that bouncy and hyper." The head of Homeland Security snickered at that. "Honestly. Speaking of, the next Congressional inauguration. Should we plan on deploying a few people as well?"
"Yes. Hell yes. You and Harris caught an invisible one last time."
"She's still in the jail too." He smirked. "Let us know by the beginning of January, sir."
"I can do that. Any idea on who's winning the new seat on the Intelligence committee?"
"If I knew that, we'd worry less. The other guy's deathly afraid of us and wants to cut us out."
"How many deals has he made?"
"No clue, sir. Ask a slayer." He smirked and walked off.
The head of Homeland thought about that. "He goes to a skin doctor. We can have him take a full body scan of him to look for marks." He called his assistant to send someone to get that if it was already available or to have him do one so they could look. The doctor wouldn't want someone who had demonic markings as a patient anyway.
Daniel looked up as Tony followed his note to come see him. "What did you say?"
"The truth. They hate us being in Homeland. They don't like dealing with us. The ones who tried to threaten Xander nearly got my foot up their ass."
"Xander came home and pouted until Gibbs reminded him that sort of response meant you were doing a good job." He sighed, looking at him. "The good news is that we're getting all our budget at once."
Tony grinned. "That is good news."
"Very. All the payroll systems and all that have been fixed. It also added in three new forms I have to do monthly."
"So let the AD English major you need do them."
Daniel smirked at him. "English major?"
"He can proofread reports for us."
Daniel snickered. "I could like that. Messer has this bad habit of typos in his conclusion." He shook his head. "All right. I'll look for someone like that. One who can handle the agency."
"Ask Horatio. He hires pretty well." He winked. "Any other traumas or bad things?"
"Not yet. What about Xander's bad feeling?"
"It was probably the agents who wanted us to leave. If I hadn't stepped in like I did, he would've beaten them senseless, Danny."
"I know. He hates that." He shrugged. "Anything else I should hear?"
"Xander still needs an assistant."
"We're working on making him see that he has three of them." Tony nodded. "I'm going to nudge John into reminding him of that fact. Anything else come of it?"
"I casually reminded him that it was the one he replaced that had stolen records and who they stole, pointing out doing anything against them would mean all the slayers got in their face. He's having the front runner on the other side of the intelligence committee race checked for demonic taint since he's so vocal about hating us. Not like they want to do our job."
"Good point. Thanks, Tony."
"Welcome, boss." He smirked and walked off. "Xander, reports?"
"Already on your desk and proofread this time," he said dryly.
"Wonderful!" He read it over, added it to his, printed them both out and handed them to Daniel to hand on.
Gibbs walked out to where John was sitting, sitting next to him. "Hey."
"Hey. How were the girls? You came home really tired so I thought I'd leave off the nosy questions."
"They were good but I have never seen such bouncy warriors."
John laughed. "They can be. What was it?"
"Rat demons. Trying to create a dark buffet."
"Ah. Those things are nasty and they spew."
"As the girls found out."
John laughed. "Even better."
"We know Harris is doing too much for his own good?"
"Yup. We're about to have a talk about who has what duties. Technically, Dean and Sam are his assistants. Xander's never quite realized what an assistant does."
"I don't think the kid's ever had any help with anything."
"He said Willow used to cheat for him on homework now and then."
"Ah." He nodded. "Wonderful." They shared a look. "Giles is an asshole."
"We knew that."
"He didn't go with his slayer?"
"Giles is a research guy, like Wesley. Wesley eventually grew up and learned how to hunt with the girls and Angel. Angel made a big dent in that when they worked together. Now he's better."
"Thomas isn't that uptight."
"No. I don't think anyone has a broomstick the size of Giles' up their ass." Gibbs snickered. "He does. You can't tell me otherwise. He never wanted to be a watcher. He actually rebelled all the way to black magic at one time, then he came back after it went too far."
"Yup." He gave him a shoulder nudge. "It could be a lot worse."
"Could be the invasion getting ready to happen."
"Yeah, that's worse. How often do those things happen?"
"Any real apocalypses seem to happen in the spring with a rare fall one. The dragons or Miami was our one this year."
"Good. Now what?"
"Now? Now, Wes and Sammy are trying to find next year's so we can train the girls for it and get them ready. DCIS goes on the same as always. We make Xander see he's duplicating work." He shrugged. "We figure out if we can stand whoever's going to take House and Chase's places here."
Gibbs looked at him. "I doubt we could."
John snickered. "Their friend Foreman? Nice guy. Very uptight. The unicorns made him cry and run off. Even more uptight than McKay, Jethro." That got an evil smirk. "Cameron and Cuddy both stared in horror then went to hide in the infirmary with the others. Cuddy screamed and ranted when Binky came in to mug Chase for sugar treats."
Gibbs burst out laughing. "So maybe we'll have good docs for a while."
"I don't like House but he's good at what he does." He stood up. "I should get back to the language lesson. It came in handy."
"I'm sure it did." He smirked. "They still suck at our age."
"They do." He went to learn something from the young pup Sam or Wes. They were so young!
John went back to working on making new bullets. Someone had to around there.
to part 16