The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 14: A Debating Family.
 
 
 
 

John Sheppard looked up when Chuck squeaked, walking out of his office to look at the same display he was.  He tapped his comm.  "McKay, is that you?  If it's not, I'm going to scramble jumpers immediately."

"We deserve chocolate," Xander called back.  "A lot of chocolate."

"I'll have some done for dinner, Harris."  He grinned, patting Chuck on the back.  "Are they going to dock?  Where do I need to clear?"

"Nila says the east pier with the new power supply is her dock and she'll be very gentle with the new power supply until I can move it somewhere more shielded," Rodney said.  "And I agree, we deserve chocolate.  And a long bathroom break."

"I'll keep that in mind," he agreed patiently.  He went down to wait on them to land.  The ship landed itself, because none of them, even Caldwell, could land something that ungainly that delicately.  He walked over and jumped down to walk onto the city for the first time.  "Good afternoon, Nila, and welcome to the Pegasus galaxy," he said quietly.

An image wavered in front of him.  "Thank you for bringing me back to my child."

"I'm Colonel Sheppard, I'm in charge of Atlantis's military people.  I protect you and them."  The image wavered again, almost seeming to bow.  "Can I have my people to check on them?  They deserve a good dinner."

"They do.  They are heading for the bathroom I believe you humans call it."

John smiled.  "We'll come look around tonight then."

"That is reasonable.  Let me power down fully."

"Please do, but do whatever Doctor McKay told you to do in regards to the databases and things."

"I already have."

"Excellent.  I'll see you in a few hours with Xander."

"As you wish."  She faded out.

He climbed back onto the pier with the help of a Marine and a rope, heading for the nearest bathrooms.  "Guys?" he called as he walked in.  "Is there a problem with hers?"

"They never built one," Rodney called from his stall.

"Peeing into space, very surreal," Xander agreed.

Caldwell moaned.  "They're insane, Sheppard."

"I knew that already.  Thanks for the warning.  Once you guys are done, have a shower, and a meal in my office, we'll talk about what you found out and then inform the main base."

"Got it," they called.

John walked out, smiling at the marines staring at the new, smaller city.  "That is Nila.  She's the prototype for Atlantis.  Xander and Daniel were looking for her."  They smiled and wandered off.  "For now, let's leave her off limits until we can do a bit of exploring.  Post guards so the scientists don't do something dumb."

"Yes, sir," a few said, going to guard it so they could get a good look.

John went up to his office.  The three of them showed up damp from showers, in generic clothes from Supply that still had creases, and with huge trays. "Did we forget food?"

"McKay thought to bring about seventeen power bars," Caldwell said.  "I agree with the kid.  They're gross."

"They do when nothing else is around," Rodney said.  "Though I'm glad it's not liver night.  Even though I'd probably eat it today."  He dug in, moaning.  "Flavor."

"Much flavor," Xander agreed.

John waited until they had inhaled most of the food on their trays.  "Okay, let's talk," he decided.  They all looked at him.  "Good job."

"Thank you but peeing into space while you're moving is very strange," Xander told him.  Rodney moaned and Caldwell shook his head.  "It is!"

"It was," Caldwell agreed.  "Also she wouldn't fly if he wasn't in the chair.  Asleep was fine but he had to be in the chair."

"Good to know.  Is Atlantis going to have that problem?"  Xander nodded.  "For sure?"

"Probably.  I asked and she said that was a safety feature."

"Excellent to know."  He made that note.  "Anything else of note?"

"The AI's are merged but separate.  It's like MPD," Rodney told him.  "They all know the same thing but they'll change now and then.  They all like you to be polite and clear when you ask things.  Some of them will not respond to none ATA carriers," Rodney told him.

"Okay," John agreed.  "Their database?"

"I've downloaded it and the AI to Xander's computer since I thought to grab it from the lab.  It has a lot of construction notes.  Also, she has a set of stored ZPM's on it."  John smiled at that.  "Third, she's a bit...fussy.  They were clearly using her as a living lab.  That's why there's no bathrooms or food areas.  Or botany."

"What areas do we have?"

"Building," Xander said.  "It looked like  a few chemistry labs?"

Rodney nodded.  He pulled the computer out of his bag, turning it on to show him the schematics.  "This is very interesting," John said, smiling at them.  "Great job, guys."

"Thank you," Xander agreed.

"We did tell her not to merge the two AI's," Rodney said.  "I wasn't sure if hers were a bit virused or could corrupt ours.  I did get a good bit of it settled into english and now know what the problem is with the bottom tower."  John smiled at that.  "Otherwise," he sighed, looking at Xander.  "She has a crush."

"She's much nicer than the usual women who like me."

"I'm happy to hear that," John assured them.  "Anything else I should report?"

"Yeah, she likes Daniel.  Rodney had a talk about Sam Carter and Nila told him not to bring her onto the city.  She has a thing against female scientists.  Apparently one screwed up something."

"Okay," John said, taking that note down.  "Rodney, you and Radek?"

"Definitely.  We'll introduce her to Miko.  She might like her since she's good, quiet, and not bouncy."

"Please do.  Caldwell, anything you noticed?"

"She's a compact little ship.  Could use some updating and renovations.  Could definitely use a caf and a bathroom or six.  She has a stargate, but she's got no ramp up to it.  It looks like they moved heavier materials through it onto a lift or something."  John nodded, making that note as well.  "We couldn't do much exploring."

"We can take video of her to send back," Xander offered.

"I can definitely help you guys do that," John agreed.   He smiled.  "They're going to be ecstatic."

"She will throw someone off a pier," Caldwell noted.  "Rodney got a bit rude from hunger and nearly got ejected one night.  Xander had to beg her to quit trying to buck him off."

"I'll keep that in mind," he agreed.  "I'll make sure everyone who goes knows that they're to be absolutely polite.  Xander, Armand has been living with Ronon."

"I saw him and he snubbed me but he cooed at my damp hair.  He's waiting and looking at the new city."

"Wonderful.  Let's get a video camera and then we'll go explore."  They got up and took their trays back to the cafeteria, Xander and Rodney getting something to nibble on the way.

Xander picked up Armand, sharing his popcorn with him.  The little dragon was happy with that.  They paused at the joining area.  One marine was in the water.  "Nila, I'm sure he was just anxious to see how pretty you are," he called.

"He does not have permission yet," she said.  She appeared.

"Okay.  Can we come on with John?  He's like me.  You met him earlier."

"Of course.  Please come back."

Xander hopped down, letting Armand sniff.  "This is Armand, he's my baby dragon."

"He is adorable," Nila said after scanning him.  "Is he supposed to have a bent scale under his tail?"

"No," Xander said, looking.  He wiggled it and took that part off, earning a pouty, hurt look.  "Sorry but that'll catch and rip out, Armand.  You know I want you to not be in pain."  He kissed him on the head, carrying him around.  John followed with a camera.

"Nila, can I join them?" Jon asked.  "This is Ronon, he's from Sateda, which was a local planet, and this is Radek, he's Rodney McKay's second-in-command."

"And you are?" she asked.

"Jon O'Neill."

"You feel like an Asgard, Jon O'Neill."

"One cloned me from the general over this project."

"Interesting.  Yes, you may come but that thing behind you may not.  I do not like their type."

Jon looked back at Teyla.  "Her?"

"Yes."

"What don't you like about her?" Ronon asked.

"She is female."

"Okay, we can deal with that problem," Jon agreed.  "Teyla?"

"I do not mind.  There must have been something horrible to make her hate women."  She bowed to the image that popped up where they could see.  "I will respect your privacy, Nila."

She stared at her.  "Do you like her, Xander?"

"She's a very close friend, Nila, and she only wants to explore.  She's a guardian of her people, not a scientist."

"Then I will allow it this once or I will throw her off if she is not nice."

"Thank you," Teyla said, smiling at her.  "I would never mean any disrespect to any city of the ancients."  They climbed down and walked on to join the others.  John was taking a lot of film.  Jon started his own in the control area.  Xander grinned and pointed so he went to look at other things.

"Rodney, I was thinking," Xander said, petting Armand's stomach for him.  "Can we send a signal to any possible leftover earth outposts, having them send a locating signal to the ships?"

"We probably could," he admitted.  "I have no idea how we would do that."

"What frequency is this ship on?" Nila asked.  Caldwell dug out his comm piece, letting her scan it.  "I can send that order once contact with earth is made."

"We'll be contacting them through the stargate in about an hour," John told her.  "Thank you for that help."

"It is no problem.  Why are you filming my insides?"

"So the other people on the project can see how amazing you are," Xander told her.  The AI smiled at him before disappearing.

Both Johns looked at him.  "You're very sweet," John Sheppard told him, getting a shy grin back.  They finished taping and he went to the main control area.  He nodded at Chuck.  "Dial Midway, tell them we're sending through information.  I need a direct link."

"Yes, sir."  He did that.  "General Landry is coming," he said, putting it on the bigger screen.  Rodney uploaded the file and Nila sent her command as well.  "Sir," he said, saluting when he came into view.

"Colonel Sheppard, is it an emergency?"

"Sir, if you'll look in your system, we just sent you the first film taken from Nila's insides."

"Excuse me?"

"She's presently off our east pier.  She is very nice, very helpful, very sweet, but does not like females for some reason, especially not scientists.  McKay thinks that she had a bad run in with one during construction or testing.  She does have multiple artificial intelligences melded together, though they will switch form now and then.  She does not like non-ATA carriers on her but has decided that Radek is very nice as well."

"How did she get there?"

"They went back to find her when Caldwell said that they couldn't find it from space due to the heavy radiation on that planet."  Caldwell nodded from his seat.  "I authorized Xander to take Colonel Caldwell and Doctor McKay back with him.  They flew the ship back and it is now parked off our east pier."

"That's amazing and I thought I ordered it to be retrieved from space."

"She won't fly without an ATA carrier in the chair," Caldwell told him.  "We had some interesting pauses when Xander had to use the bathroom, sir.  It was very odd."

"I see."  He got into the video then smirked at him.  "I would like to see her."

"We're here, sir, but she does like ATA carriers."

"I'll bring O'Neill with me.  What is going on, Walter?"

"Sir, Colonel Ellis said that they are receiving signals from various places down here."

"Yes, those are the other labs and/or outposts left on the planet," Rodney said with a smile.  "We asked and Nila sent that command so they could be found."

"That's...absolutely amazing," Landry decided.  "Good job, Atlantis team.  We'll be there in a few days.  Anything we should be aware of?"

"They deserve chocolate, sir.  They really do."

"Agreed.  We'll bring some up."  He hung up and John had the gate shut down on his end.  He called Jack.  "Get here now."  He hung up, looking over the film again.  Jack got beamed into his office.  "They found Nila, Ellis is compiling a list of where all the labs and outposts down here are."

"Excuse me?"

Landry called the ship.  "Colonel Ellis, I want a list of all those nice outposts that Nila found for us.  ASAP."

"Beaming down to you now, sir."

"Thank you."  He hung up and let him see the film.  "We can't send Carter.  She reacts poorly to females," he said quietly.

"I heard her talking to Teyla," he agreed.   He went back over it again until Ellis stomped in.  "How many labs or outposts?" he asked after waving off the salute.

"Seventeen, sir."

"Any problematic?"

"Mostly allies, one that's pretty neutral to us.  One in Africa."  He handed over the list.  "How did they do that?"

"They asked nicely for the prototype city to send them that command," Landry told him dryly.  "Sheppard said the trio deserves chocolate."

"They deserve medals as well," he agreed.  He nodded.  "Okay, me, have Lam join us to check out the infirmary on it.  I'll get her cleared."  Landry nodded.  "There's no bathrooms."

"Caldwell said peeing off into space while moving was very odd," he said dryly.  "They had ration bars."

"That's good to know," Jack said dryly.  "Didn't we order it found from space?"

"Apparently it had some native radiation so it was hard to find.  Sheppard made him take McKay and Caldwell."

"Interesting.  We'll go and I'll get them each a good box of candy."

"McKay's allergic to citrus."

"I'll keep that in mind."  He looked at the list Ellis had for him.  "Very interesting.  Did they register what they were?"

"They sounded off, sir.  We have two more outposts and a few more labs."

"Good.  One's in Boston harbor?"  Ellis nodded.  "Okay.  Tell the IOA about this, not Nila for now," Jack ordered.  "Let Woolsey tell them when he gets off vacation.  By then we should know a great deal about her."  He handed the list over.  "Good job to them and you.  I'll be back in two days to go up with you, Hank."  He got beamed back to his office.

Landry smiled.  "This'll be an interesting time."

"Very.  Glad I'm in space.  There's going to be some screaming, preaching, and bitching, sir."  He left, going back to his ship after a quick stop in the on-base store.  He needed a bit of chocolate himself.  And toffee.

***

In Boston, a pair of brothers stared at the harbor when lights from underwater started to blink.  "Holy fucking God," one breathed.  When the other didn't smack him on the head with a reminder not to use God's name in vain, he looked at his twin.  "You alive?"

He nodded, crossing himself.  "I'm not sure what that is but I think it's something huger than Angels appearing."

"Aye."  They walked off smoking.  They didn't want to be caught anywhere near there when officials showed up.  Because someone would call about the water suddenly lighting up that way.   They went to church to pray that it wasn't armageddon.

***

Jack walked through the stargate, tossing McKay his box of chocolates.  "Citrus free, doesn't have a citrus warning on the back."  Rodney smiled at that.  "Where's the kid?"

"Fussing at Armand's scales in the group shower.  He's got some shedding and scratching so he's giving him a bath."

"He can't do that in his room?" Landry asked as he joined Jack.

"No.  Armand's refusing to go down to lap sized at the moment."  He sniffed.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  Jack headed that way.  "Kid, introduce us to your new friend?"  Armand meeped at him so he petted his nose.  "We need him, are you nearly clean?"  Armand yawned and wrapped around his father's side.  "Armand, you can have him later."

"I'm nearly done," Xander promised quietly.  He finished the last bit of scrubbing and Armand yawned, shrinking again.  "Want to go see Nila?"  Armand got up and waddled out, letting him shut off the showers.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem," Landry assured him.  "All pets need a bath sometime, kid."  They walked out and they paused to look at the smaller construct.  "Nila, may we board?" he called.

"Who are you?" she asked.  She appeared in front of them, changing forms.  "A child."

"I'm Jack O'Neill."

"Jon told us about you.  He told us why he smelled of the Asgard."

"Yup, that's me.  This is General Landry.  He and I head over this project and the others.  He heads over the main base if you got information on that."

"I have.  Welcome aboard.  Hello, Armand.  You look very nice."  The dragon meeped and purred at her.  They all hopped down and walked inside.  "I can provide a ladder if it would help," she offered.

Jack grinned at her.  "I might take you up on that on the way up."

"You're welcome."

"Thank you."  He let her lead the way to the control room where Radek was working.  He nudged Xander and handed him his box of candy, getting a hug back.  "You deserve it, kiddo."  He came over to talk to Radek while Hank looked around.  "How's it going?"

"She is amazing but they really did test various methods of construction on her."  He smiled up at the general.  "She is easily fixed if there are problems beyond a few lights."

"Does that mean you can put in a bathroom?" Xander asked, opening his candy and inhaling a piece with a moan.

Nila's AI reappeared to stare at him.  "Are you ill, Xander?  The ancients never made that noise around me.  I am unsure of how to process it."

"It's pleasure," he promised with a smile.  "Pure pleasure.  Jack got me very good chocolates."

"I see.  Pleasure?"  He nodded so she scanned him and nodded.  "I will put such noises in that category.  A few of the scientists Radek brought have done the same but they do not answer when I ask."

"They're too involved to realize anyone else is there," he promised.  She beamed.  "Thank you for asking, Nila.  It's very good that you watch out for me."

"Someone must beyond Evan and Radek."  She faded out again.

Jack smiled at him.  "She's sweet."

"She's very sweet."  He ate another piece, letting Radek have one.  "Since you found the plumbing."

Radek took one with a smile.  "Thank you, Xander."  He ate it and moaned.  "Oh, so good, General.  Thank you."  He finished it and got back to work.

Evan strolled in and saluted, getting waved off by Jack.  "Sir, did you need a tour guide?"

"Please," he agreed.  "She's obviously amazing."  Evan nodded and led him off, collecting the other general on the way.

Xander got down to helping Radek.  Evan came back to get his own sweet and walked off smiling again.  They all clapped as one of the scientists got ejected into the water.  "I told you not to be rude," Xander called.  "Next time, use manners!  We're guests!"

Radek patted him on the shoulder.  "It is good you learned manners even though your parents were horrid."

"Willow's mom made sure I learned them."

Radek smiled.  "She did a good job on that."  Xander grinned back and they got back to looking at the wiring she had.

***

Jack looked at John Sheppard.  "Good reason to deviate from orders," he said quietly.  John nodded at that.  "I know you never got told directly so I'm going to say it's a good job, reward them, and let you learn all you want.  Sam's presently in Boston in the one there."

Xander leaned in.  "Is there any indication that ATA carriers come heavier around the outposts?  I was wondering about that.  Maybe some sort of energy warping that unlocks the possibility more often?"

"Not that we've seen but I'll have someone look at that, Xander.  Though, I'm guessing yours would be the other sort of warping?"

"Probably.  Doctor Keller said I showed a few different genetic anomalies she thought might be merpeople related but she wasn't sure."  He left them alone.  "And I don't want a medal!"

"Fine."  He smiled at John.  "That's something to consider."

"It is.  Is Carter upset?"

"No, she's got a new boyfriend.  She'd rather stay down there."  He sipped his coffee, waiting on Landry to come in.  "So, good news?" he asked.

"Very good news.  Good job, Sheppard.  Even though I said not to."

"Sir, I never got that order," he said honestly.

"Caldwell did."

"He did not share that with me, sir."

"Fine.  I can't blame them."  He sat down.  "When is Woolsey due back?"

"About a week."

"Wonderful."

"The IOA?"

"Is very content with the new outposts that we won't let them enter yet," Landry said with a smirk.  "Citing that there's the possibility of long dead germs or traps."

"In one case we were right," Jack admitted.   "Sam set it off and then swore for an hour at the AI."

"ATA carrier related?"

"Genetic to the maker only."

"Is she all right?"

"Fine," Jack assured him with a smile.   "Swearing but fine."  He kicked back.  "So, how are things otherwise?"

"No attacks this week.  Rodney made sure the shields will go over Nila.  Xander's had a happy week.  He, Lorne, and Radek Zalenka have a video game playing society going."

"He bought you guys one," Landry said dryly.  "It's on the next ship out."  John beamed at that.  "He thinks you guys will break his tv probably."

"He doesn't want us to steal it from him or have to listen to the people who had to carry it down the stairs from the bedroom he has above his office."

Jack snickered.  "I saw his tv.  Don't blame them."  He smirked at John.  "How's things otherwise?"

"Excellent.  The Genii like Xander.  We ran into a few who only asked about him recently.  I wasn't sure if they were looking to steal him or not but they were decent at the time.  No wraith cullings that we've heard recently.  Not since the last time they tried to attack us."

"Good.  How is the second chair going?"

"Actually, I think Rodney was all-but done on that.  McKay to my office," he called over the comm.  He came trotting in.  "Co-pilot chair for ours?"

"It needs to be hooked in, tested, and then it's done.  It has the same sensors, logs into the main chair's output, and is focused solely on the display and drones."

"Will it rob the primary chair of function?" Jack asked.

"Not that I've seen."

"Good.  I know it was needed the last time I was in one.  That cannon the kid found?"

"It now does have a power supply set up properly.  We tested it, it's working."

"Even better," John agreed.  "Anything else we found up there?"

"A few new drones that needed to be stored after minor finishing work.  They were carried down to the drone maintenance area and put in there."

"Anything big we should hear about?" Jack asked.

"Two things and I think Carter is going to run into it."  He pulled it up on his laptop, letting them see it. "That looks like the one in Boston."

"It does," Jack agreed.  "She said that's the maker of that lab.  Copy that for me."  Rodney did that and handed the papers over after they printed.  "Thank you.  Anything else you can think of?"

"I pity the ones going to Africa.  It was their botany area."  He left.

John shook his head.  "Glad I'm up here, sirs."

"Us too," Jack admitted.  "I can't see too many of our people who can handle the wraith threat."

"Xander wanted to biobomb them."

"I don't blame him," Landry admitted.  He took that paper to look over.  "Mitchell wanted to come up for a bit, see if they could help against the wraith."

"I don't mind Cam, sir.  He's a good soldier and a decent guy.  Plus he'll make people quit fussing so much."  He looked out in the command center.  "What?"

"Sir, Daedalus said it's nearly here," Chuck called.  "For some reason two Marines started to argue about it and made Major Lorne stop them by smacking them on the head.  Then one scientist burst out crying and ran from the room."

"Which one?" he sighed.  "And who said what to her?"

"No clue, sir."

"Where?"

"Bathrooms."  He pointed.  Jack waved him off so he went to find out.

John came back twenty minutes  later.  "Doctor Keller is going to ask that we arrange to get a new tertiary head of botany since she's pregnant."

"Granted," Landry agreed.  "I can send one up in the next trip."

"Please don't send up someone who'll set off McKay's allergies on purpose or who'll make him scream at them?" John asked quietly.  "I shipped one back for that last trip because they decided McKay was standing in their way."

"That's something that I say 'fuck 'em' about and let them go to court martial," Jack assured him.

"Thank you, general."

"Any personnel you think you could use?" Landry asked.  "Since we're on the subject."

"I could use someone who had farming experience.  A few places are having some tired ground problems.  It's creating lags in our trade situations and food shortages for them."

"I can make sure the botanist coming up does or give them an assistant."

"Thank you, sir."

"Not a problem.  That makes us good and humane people," Jack assured him.  "Anything else?"

"We need our armory reevaluated and restocked?  If I get SG-1 for a bit, I won't need a new team but otherwise I could use one sometime in the near future.  We've had a few very serious injuries that got people sent home.  Thankfully no deaths."

"I've seen those," Landry promised.  "We can do that, son."  John smiled.  "Anything else?"

"Don't send us any of Doctor Jackson's linguists?  Please?  I don't want to see if Xander picked up anything from McKay's mouth."

"Are they...." Jack asked, waving a hand.

"No.   He's still Mean Uncle Rodney to him.  The same as I'm a big brother.  I know Xander has a biting wit at times and I know he has a temper.  With what we've heard about the other linguists, I don't want to encourage him to use them together and make someone cry again."

"Again?" Landry asked.

"One of the chemists tried to pick on him."

"Serious?" Jack asked.  "Since you're avoiding it?"

"A bit of gay bashing, a bit of pagan religion bashing, mixed with an insult to his intelligence.  Xander basically cut him down and made him stomp off crying.  He started a bit slow but it took about three sentences and ended with a promise to burn him at a stake if he ever tried that again so they could roast marshmallows to his screams."

"Sounds like the kid," Jack said dryly.

"Jon tried to help but Xander made him very sorry.  I believe he's transferring back to somewhere people aren't sexual beings."

"Half the soldiers on base get more ass than I did when I was married," Jack told him.  "Mitchell is in that group."

"Xander does miss Vala, sir."

"Granted," Landry said.  "She's been pouting too."

John grinned.

Jon leaned in.  "Xander wanted me to run in, pounce you, and squeal 'daddy'," he said dryly.  "And he won't share his chocolates."

Jack laughed, shaking his head.  "There's more pudding on the ship."

"Sweet."

"No liver either."

"Woolsey liked liver," John said dryly.  "Xander threatened to turn him into a cow if he made him eat liver one more time this year."

"I threatened to have him teach McKay magic so he could do it," Jon told him.  "Lorne agreed with me."  He walked off.  "Thanks, Dad."

"Welcome," Jack called, smiling and shaking his head.  "Xander has been good to the mini me."

"He has lightened him up," Landry agreed.

"Yeah, he has."  He smiled at John.  "The kids giving you any fits?"

"Sirs, if you try to take Xander from Atlantis, we'll have a riot," he said, looking totally serious.  Both generals smiled at that.  "We love Xander, even when he's pouty at his dragon, even when his plants are mean to him because they're trying to breed.  The new city having a crush and all, we want Xander.  For that matter, we'll gladly keep Mitchell, Vala probably, and Jackson too if you'll let us."

"Hell no," Jack said.  "Vala maybe.  SG-1 stays on earth."

"Fine.  We could use another good team though."

"You can borrow, you can't confiscate," Jack told him.

"Sure.  We'll put them in the tower by Xander.  That way Vala and he can gush over things."

"With your luck, she'll bring up more smut," Landry told him.

"The IOA sent me an email," he said, pulling it up on his computer and printing it out to hand it over with a smile.

Landry glared at him.  "Not cute, Sheppard."

"They are our oversight committee, sir."

Landry handed it to O'Neill, who read and snickered, putting it into his pocket.  "I'll have Vala work on that."

"Have Woolsey work on that, sir.  He's a bit tense too probably."

"I know he's got a stick up his ass, Sheppard, but that's just evil of you to make him go find your marines porn," Jack said with a grin.  "You might get victorian stuff where no one gets any."

"Harris introduced Vala to anime smut," Landry told him.  "She's been taunting Mitchell about hermaphrodites with tentacles."

Jack burst out cackling, shaking his head.  "What did Teal'c do?"

"Asked her to please introduce him if she ever met one because he was curious how they came to be."

"Yeah, me too," John sighed, shaking his head.  "Poor Radek's going to be blushing for days then."

"So that's who?" Jack asked casually.

"As far as I know, they've formed a good friendship that does involve all night marathons of video games and junk food.  Xander is the queen of somehow getting cheetos," he finished dryly.  "He's even hooked some vegetarian scientists on them."

"They're cheese and puffed wheat.  Unless they're the sort that don't eat cheese?" Jack asked.  John nodded.  Jack snickered.  "Good job."

"McKay has trained Armand to steal hostess products for him so he doesn't have to leave the lab.  He's even gotten the tentacle plant to love him.  She won't try to eat him anymore."

Jack shook his head.  "Then Atlantis is very good for him.  We brought him up some more work in case he's bored."

"The same linguists down there that don't want to work?" John guessed.

"Yup," Landry agreed.  "We're now missing a few more.  Can he do Sanskrit?"  John nodded.  "Good!  We need some of it done."

"If you brought it, I can get him back here."

"Please," Landry said, pulling out a CD carrier.

"Harris to my office for more work being piled on you," he called.  Xander came jogging in and nearly panted at them, beaming.

"Sanskrit?" Landry asked.

"Okay!"  He took it and jogged off.

John looked after him.  "No more pixie sticks!" he yelled.  "At all!  All day, Xander!"

"Yes, Big Brother John!" came back from up the hallway.

"Sparring!" he called.  He looked at them and smiled.  "I'll wear that out of him yet."  He tapped his comm earpiece.  "McKay, get your little elf helper to go steal Xander's pixie stick collection for the day please.   He's smiling while jogging."  He hung up.  Jack was snickering quietly.  Landry was smiling but shaking his head.  Yeah, Atlantis did that to some people.  "You know, he got people to put up a wish list for gear," he offered.  "It's in the cafeteria."

"Saw that, little chance of the surfboard or the wave runner unless someone buys it and talks Caldwell into carting it up here," Jack said with a smirk.

"I'll let them know that by amending the heading."  He walked off.  "Let me go wear him out sparring."

"I'd like to see that," Jack decided and both generals followed.  "Mini me, sparring," he called.

"Twenty minutes.  Kinda gotta hike."

Ronon strolled in next with Xander under his arm.  "He was bouncing."

"Pixie sticks," John told him.  "I had McKay steal them."

"Good!"  He shuddered.  "They don't even taste that good."  He let Xander go.  "Stretch."

"Yes, Ronon.  I'll kick your ass again today."  He beamed and took off his shirt and then his shoes, stretching against a wall.  He saw a flicker and smiled.  "Hi, Nila.  We're going to be sparring for a bit.  Want to watch?"

"If I may," she offered.  She seemed to look over his shoulder.  "Like fight practice?"  He nodded.  "That's very interesting."  The others warmed up until Jon came in and stripped off his shirt so he could warm up too.  She saw John taking out sticks to toss them at Ronon and himself a pair.  Jon got another and Xander got a staff.  It was his weaker weapon and he'd have to work harder.  Since he had so much sugar, it'd do him good.

Xander pouted but John only smirked.  "Fine."  He spun it around.  "Get me the other one?  This one's weighted like a broom handle."  That one was taken by the gym guard and the other one tossed over.  Xander nodded and stretched using it then attacked.  John managed to get him off and Ronon deflected another hit.  Jon piled on and it was on.

Jack watched, hands clenched.  "Jon looks good," he said quietly to Landry.

"He does.   It's clear he's been working out too.  I doubt you ever had muscles like that."

"Oh, jeez," Jon complained, glaring at them.  "Eww."  He ducked a blow at his head and got Xander on the leg since he was behind and beside him.  Xander kicked back and got him then got the other two.  They all came back to do it again.

Rodney sighed from the doorway.  "Must you really do this every few days when I need him to do other things?" he complained.

"Yes," Ronon called.  "We must."

"Fine, give me O'Neill and I won't shoot you three.  Thereby proving I'm the better man."

Jon ducked a blow, laughing his ass off.  "Sure, McKay.  You'll win that round."  He grabbed his shirt and shoes, following him off to sit in the chair on Nila for him to do a program update.

The other three kept going, hoping to wear out Xander's sugar rush.  Ronon finally landed on his butt after having his feet swept out from under him again.  "This isn't sugar, is it?" he asked, staring at the boy.

"No, this is celibacy," he said with a cheesy grin.  "Because my wrists are sore!"  John walked off shaking his head, taking the towel someone threw at him to wipe off the sweat.  Xander bounced over to get his own, taking the weapons to wipe down and put up while Ronon made himself get up groaning.  "Too much energy makes Xander's magic go strange too."

"Don't remind me," Landry called.  "Can't you fix that?  I mean, that closet full of stuff?"

"Sore.  Wrists.  I've been trying, General."  He walked off putting on his t-shirt again and carrying his shoes.  He went back to Nila and listened to her praise the sparring to Jon.

Jon came out of the chair room, staring at him.  "Do you need me to switch teams, bend you over something?" he asked quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "As charming as that offer is, Jon, you're not really my type all that much and I need someone who wants more than to cure the bounciness.  I need someone who wants *me*."

"I know but playing might help, right?"

"Maybe but I'm tired of playing."

He leaned down to get closer to Xander's ear.  "Then maybe you should flirt more with your video game team."  He walked off.

"They won't," he pouted.  He picked a nice corner to work on the new translations from.  It was comfortable, in the sun but not directly, and had a nice breeze thanks to the open nature of the city.

Evan looked up from helping Radek.  "There's more than a few guys around," he said quietly.  "Even if just playing would help."

"It's not the same.  They don't cuddle and stuff."

"I have," Radek pointed out.

"You give great cuddle, Radek, but sometimes...you gotta have more than the cuddle.  You know?"

Radek blushed and nodded.  "Definitely.  I know that very well."  Xander looked at him.  He subtly shrugged but grinned back.  "There are those of us who do know.  More than a few on base.  Most of whom are not scared of your temper with a sword."

"I like axes better," he admitted, grinning some.  "So, would you maybe like to come ...play a game later?"

"I could enjoy that," he agreed.  He smiled and got back to work.  "Nlia, what is that file you just sent me?" he asked.

She appeared, smiling at him.  "My creator's wife had many moments on me before I banned women."

He got into it and paused.  "Really?"  He looked up.  "Was that before the ascension idea?"

"Yes, a few years before.  She was one of the last to embrace it."

Xander looked.  "That's not her husband, is it?"

"No, it is not.  Her ways made my creator sad."

"I understand why you don't want female scientists on you now," Radek said patting the stair he was on.  She beamed and faded out.  He looked at Xander.  "You are still sweaty."

"In a manly way or in a gross way?"

Radek looked.  "Shower before dinner."

"I can do that."  He went back to his translating.  "You know, there was a time when I was blipped that I forgot English.  I had to relearn it.  Doc was not happy that I had been that assimilated at one point.  I did slowly get back to it, just had to be reminded basically, but I was speaking four different languages mixed when he found me the first time."

Radek stared at him.  "That is much too long to be on your own," he said.

"I know.  He was good about reminding me to use English.  Though he did speak a few of those languages himself so he caught a lot of words, especially when I banged into something and got a bruise.  He laughed whenever I started to swear and especially when I called him the child of a mountain goat and a codfish."

Radek grinned.  "It sounds like you had good times with him."

"Often.  But he needs someone who gets the more philosophical stuff.  Jack does that and they fit together better."  He shrugged, getting back to work.  "Nila," he called.  She appeared, wavering some.  "Do you have any records on The Doctor?  I know he visited
Atlantis once but I couldn't find those records."

"They are in personal records," she admitted, unlocking those and sending a command at Atlantis to release those records to him as well.

He beamed.  "Thank you."

"You are welcome, Xander."  She faded out again.  She was listening to the generals talking about if they were going to keep her with Atlantis and let Xander be in charge of her.  When they started to go in another direction she locked them in the room and shut off the lights on them.  One of them complained so she dropped the temperature as well.  She would not have that.

Xander got the call to come to the office and sighed, getting up to head that way.  He walked into the gate area and paused, rushing up the stairs.  "Nila!" he complained.  "You can't hurt them!"

"They were going to bring me back to earth without Atlantis.  She is my child."

"I know that but they wanted to see you around an outpost, see if you could integrate and if it could help you any more than being here did."

"That is not what was said."

"They're generals, they give orders.  Now let them go!"

"They were going to take you away from me."

Xander sighed, looking at her projection.  "Even if they put someone else in charge of you, I'd still be there.  I'm the best translator they have."  She let them go and let the systems she had confiscated go as well.  "I'm not leaving right now.  Okay?"  She bowed and left.  He looked at the generals.  "She's been alone a long time.  You tend to latch onto people after something like that, make sure that they don't leave you too," he said quietly.

"I saw that in your history, kid.  We were going to put Ellis in charge of her."

"I'd have to keep count of how many times she'd throw him in the water," Xander said dryly.  "Ellis won't even think about her being sentient."

"True," Jack agreed, blowing into his hands.  Chuck got them some space blankets to wrap themselves in.  "I'd say she was just as possessive as some of your other women and nearly as dangerous."

"You tried to take her first friend in centuries away," Xander pointed out.  "That's something that would make anyone fight, Jack."  He walked off.  He went back out there because it kept her calm.

John came jogging up the stairs.  "Are you both all right?"

"We're fine.  We were thinking about who to put in charge of Nila in case we move her back to earth.  She didn't like those ideas," Landry said.

"Xander's going to be clung to until she forms other bonds," John agreed.  "Chuck, go start my coffee maker."  He did that and brought them cups a few minutes later.  "Please don't say Ellis.  He won't even respect her as an entity."

"That's what the kid said," Jack admitted, sipping his coffee.  "She's a lot like his ex's."

"She is very protective of him," he agreed.  "Do you two need the infirmary?"

"No, we'll be fine," Landry promised.  He looked at Jack.  "SG-1?"

"I think that'd be a good solution.  She likes Daniel already."  He finished his coffee, walking out to the new city.  "Nila, may we come talk?"  She nodded so they walked onboard her.  "We had wanted to bring you to earth for a bit to see if you could interface with the outposts and if it would give us more ideas about things."

"I understand that, it is logical," she agreed.

"We know that you like Xander, and we like Xander.  He's happy to have you here with him."  She nodded at that, hands clasped in front of her.  "But, if he's up here, we need him up here decoding and translating things.  So, if and when you come to earth, because we do have future plans of moving Atlantis as well, would Daniel Jackson's team do for you?  I know none are ATA carriers, we'd give them one for the trip."

"I did like Daniel Jackson.  He seemed a lot like Xander," she admitted.

"We'd let you be introduced to them, get used to them," Landry promised.  "His team leader's name is Cam Mitchell.  He's a pilot and a lot like John Sheppard is."  She smiled at that.  "So can we introduce you?  Because if we do move Atlantis and you back to earth we might need to put weapons on you.  This would give Cam the better weapons platform."

"I would like to meet him."

John hopped down, smiling at her.  "They'll be up later tonight.  They called, General.  The IOA is sending them."

"They heard?"

"No, they want Carter out of the Boston lab and forced orders."  He handed over the note that had been sent.  "Carter's threatened to lock them out of the Boston lab and she has definitely locked the weapons capability so no one but her can authorize them.  She gave them a short list by the note but she didn't say who."

"That works well with our plans," Landry decided.  "Would that work for you, Nila?  I know Xander is like your bear."

"What sort of bear?  I do not understand that comment," she said.  "Most bears are dangerous and Xander is only dangerous when threatened."

John pulled up the information on his hand-held, letting her scan it.  "A teddy bear.  A comforting thing to hold onto.  We know you've been alone for a long time, Nila, and Xander's had that in his own past.  We agree that you can have as much time with Xander as you want while you're up here, but sometimes we will need him for missions.  Even the Genii like him."

She considered it.  "I do consider him comforting and of my family," she decided.  They all smiled.  "I will meet with these new people.  Daniel Jackson did ask many questions that were good."

Xander walked over, smiling at her.  "You're doing wonderful rebuilding your family, Nila."  She beamed at him.  "You'll love them.  I adopted Cam as family with their team."

"Then I would like to meet them."  She bowed and disappeared.

Xander beamed.  "Cam's being given to Nila as commander?"

"He is," Landry agreed.  "We do want to fix the systems here and make her able to protect herself in a fight if it comes to it."

"Rodney's already working on that," Xander promised.  "She has some odd places where the structures don't mesh well.  We had to pause on the way here so Rodney could put some pieces back together because they were shaking apart.  Caldwell started to pray."

"I can understand that," Jack agreed.  "Do you think she'll like Vala?"

"I think Vala will tickle her for years asking questions."

"Good.  I want plans soon to retrofit them.  The Boston lab is now shut down by order of the IOA."

"They're fucking puss suckers," Xander said dryly.

"Literal or figurative, Xander?" Nila asked.

"Figurative.  They're human, not demon related.  Some of the ones that made the Slayer  Born are on that council though."

She reappeared.  "Those sorts are not welcome on my decks," she told the generals.

Xander grinned.  "I fought with a slayer.  Helped her a lot."

"I noticed the inter-realm opening radiation you hold, Xander."

"Faith to Nila," he called.  She came out, looking down at her.  "C'mon."  She came down.  "Nila, have you met Faith yet?"

She scanned her and beamed.  "A slayer born!"

"You know about us?" she asked, giving her an odd look.

"I was on earth still when your kind were created.  The ones who did so... Xander's word for them is more useful than others I have seen.  Bastards."

"Yeah, they were," she agreed, grinning at her.  "Buffy would love talking to you."

"We did have to summon the First Slayer to help us take down the Initiative," Xander told her.  "Sineya was not happy."

"I can agree with that," Faith said.  "Can we talk about this, Nila?"

"Yes, we can talk.  I like you.  Like Xander I will adopt you as family.  You, him, Radek, Evan, and the one tiny scientist that is quiet.  I like her even though she is female."

"What about Rodney McKay?" Landry asked.

"My child has adopted him and needs him.  I will let him heal me and then my family will have me."  She faded out.

"That's really cool," Faith said, beaming at Xander.  He beamed back and showed her around.

"Not a huge problem after all," Jack said with a smirk at Hank.

Landry smiled back.  "No, not really.  Let me go call them up sooner."  They went back to the control room to send Walter that message.  Unfortunately when they came, they came with an IOA member who wanted to know what was going on up here.  He warned Harris, who could tell the others.  Nila camouflaged herself.  "Welcome, SG-1.  Harris is going to be here in a minute."

"That's fine, sir," Cam said, nodding at him.  "He insisted."

Xander strolled in shirtless and without shoes.  "It's a good thing I was warming up to spar."  He hugged them and stared at the IOA guy.  "So, are you going to follow Traver's orders and try to kill me?"

"No, Harris, I won't.  What are you doing here?"

"I'm a linguist.  What do you think I'm doing up here?"

"We were not told that."

"Huh, that's odd since I made another of you have screaming nightmares for trying me," he said dryly.  "And do remind Travers that just like that feather pillow, I can send other things into his lap."  He smiled sweetly.

"Yes, he decided you were too dangerous to cross when the note pointing out you had explosives experience to add to that teleporting trick was read."

"Good!"  He looked at them.  "You guys are getting rooms in my tower."  He hugged Vala again.  "Let's get you guys settled in so we can talk?"

"We wanted to know how the new outposts were found."

"Rodney McKay found a subroutine command that got sent through with another message."

He blinked.  "You don't have to call him by his title?"

"No, usually I call him a friend," he said dryly.  "I work very well with both Doctors McKay and Zelenka."

"Oh.  Well, I suppose they have tempers and you're used to Summers' temper," he said weakly.

Rodney glared from his spot in the command center.  "No, I appreciate him for his skills, including his combat skills and his language skills.  Do not push me today."  He backed down at that.  He also sent a message to Faith to stay hidden for a bit.  He hated Watchers.  Ever since he had seen Xander's memories of them, he loathed the whole organization.

"So, how is Buffy?  She hasn't answered my last email yet," Xander asked.

"She's fine as far as we know.  Things have slowed back down again.   I was also sent to search the database for any mentions of slayers."

"I haven't decoded anything on them yet," he lied.  "If I do, I'll send it on."

He stared at him.  "We don't like you, Harris.  Why would we trust you?"

Xander threw a dagger at him, pinning him to the gate.  "Because I don't like you either," he said bluntly.  "And yeah, I'm able to out your whole group.  Secret society and all."  He smirked meanly.  "Anything I find like that I'd send to Rupert Giles.  Ask him."

"I see."  He let someone get him free.  "I can have you removed."

"I can set off the self destruct," Xander said dryly.  He smiled again.  "So....."

"Oh.  The city...."  Xander shut down the lights in their area.  "You're an ATA carrier," he sighed.  Xander turned the lights back on.  "I see, and the city has adopted you?"

"The city likes all ATA carriers," Jon said as he walked in.  "Hey, guys.  Let's get you to your rooms."  He gave Cam a pointed look.

"Sure.  Xander, please, no destroying him.  They'd make you clean up the floor."

"Fine.  Not like I have a sword or an axe on me."  The council member gave him a horrified look.

"Yes, that battle was him," Jon told him.  The guy backed up.  "As for slayers listed in the database, there's a small bit but he'd clear it with Landry and send it to one he trusted and liked."

"Especially since we had to summon and then deal with the essence of the First Slayer.  Sineya was not a happy camper."  The guy whined.  Xander just stared at him.  "It's how Buffy beat ADAM."

"We were not told of that."

"Then ask Giles."

"I shall when I get back."  He nodded.  "Are you satisfied being up here?"

"Yeah.  They gave me the choice of here or UNIT."  He shrugged.  "I like it up here.  The ocean, the sunlight, the interesting peoples."

"Very well.  I will leave you alone.  I would like to have those notes as well."

"Talk to Landry.  I send anything to him first."

"That's is the way it's supposed to be," he decided.  He saw someone and gasped.  "Lehane?"

Xander looked at her.  "Weren't you supposed to be out of sight?"

"Nila beamed me over.  She said you needed backup, boytoy."

Xander shrugged.  "We came to an understanding."

"Well, you are known as one of the badasses of three galaxies," she said dryly, coming over to stand beside him.  "Yeah, I'm up here now.  O'Neill had me sprung.  Turns out I'm a kick ass pilot, can sense wraith, and I'm needed up here."

"What about your calling?" he demanded.

"B's got that for now and right now they need me up here to make sure the wraith don't get near earth.  Isn't that more important?"

"I suppose.  I'll have to report this."  Xander pulled another dagger.  "She'll be needed once Summers falls."

"Ya know, there's others who do the job," Xander pointed out.  "And yeah, there's another slayer called.  Because you gated," Xander said.  She looked stunned.  He beamed.   "I don't think that they got it right that you wormholing wouldn't call another."

"Oh," the watcher said.  "But none of our girls...."

"None of your girls last," Xander pointed out.  "It probably went to a potential that got dead within a few hours because her watcher was sending her out like she had already been called."  He went pale.  "And then it went to one that you didn't find."

"Vision?" Faith guessed.

"Yup.  Her name's Sarana.  She's a lot like Caridad.  From the same area.  I'm sorry about Caridad though."  He looked at the watcher again.  "So, yeah, and I've already sent Buffy that email because I had it weeks ago.  Joyce is going to offer her a spot and all that."  He looked at Faith.  "She did apologize," he said quietly.

"I heard.  I don't blame her.  We were all sorts of screwed up back then, every one of us."  He gave her a hug.  She pushed him off but was giving him a fond look.  "Goofball."

The watcher moaned.  "Fine, I will let that be known."

Xander looked at him.  "Probably too late."

"I realize that now.  I'll talk with Rupert in the next week to see if you've sent him anything."  He looked at the generals.  "May I go?"

"Sure," Xander said, looking at them.  He smirked and cast a compulsion before he left.  Then he grinned at the generals.  "He won't be able to tell about Faith.  Or me, or anything he finds from this project."  He looked at her.  "Have you met Mitchell and them yet?"

"Slightly."

"Cool."  He led her off to go reintroduce her to them and talk to them.  Then he took them out to meet Nila.

Jack looked at Landry.  "Well."

"He's a lot like that.  I've seen him send one into a panic attack."

"Good!  I don't like the watchers."  He walked off.

"We could out them," McKay offered.

"Yeah, maybe," Jack agreed.  "If it wouldn't endanger girls like Buffy, Faith, and the new one."

"Then we'll have to check with her," Rodney decided.  He went out to Nila.

Xander walked them down there.  "Nila, you remember Daniel, right?"

She appeared.  "I do.  Welcome back, Daniel.  Is that your proper method of naming?"

"Daniel is my first name and you can use it," he promised with a smile.  "This is Cam Mitchell and Vala Mal Doran.  Teal'c didn't want to come up this time.  He's a Jaffa that helped us bring down the Gou'ald empire.  He led the Jaffa rebellion."

She wavered, looking them over.  "None of them are children."

"If we have to, we'll send Evan with them," Xander told her.

"That would take him away from you, Xander," she protested.

He shrugged.  "We're buddies and it's fine, Nila.  I know you'll protect my friends."

"Yes I will."  She let them on.

Vala looked around.  "This is amazing."

"Thank you, Vala."  Vala smiled at her.  "You smile like Xander, I like you."

"I like you as well.  It's nice to have a female I can talk to.  Sam Carter doesn't do girlish things."

"I do not like female scientists.  They are not good to me."

Vala patted a nearby wall.  "I've never been scientific a day in my life."  Nila beamed at that and disappeared.  She let the two kids take them on the tour and it was fascinating.  Atlantis was wondrous but this was simply charming and it was simpler, so it didn't make her think bad thoughts about the ancients or heavy thoughts about her own people's pasts.  It was simple but elegant.  "What about where Rodney was saying they needed new structural support?"

"I'm not sure how we'd do that," Xander admitted.  "Can we gate them or beam them to a ship and bring up?"

"I haven't worked out the logistics yet," Rodney admitted from his spot.  "We do need a lot of welding done though."  He looked up.  "I hear congratulation are in order, Mitchell."

Cam looked at them, then at Xander.  "What?"

"She needs someone in charge of her," he said with a smile.  "A military head, a chief science officer, someone who can help get the right information out of her, and someone to talk to."

"Really?" he asked.

"Pretty sure," Xander admitted.

"Huh."

"She'll be back on earth eventually and they want her to interact with many of the outposts and labs."

"Some of them are not built to interact with me or Atlantis," Nila told them.  She reappeared.  "The child Jack assured me that I could meet and learn to like whoever was put in charge of me in the human sense.  I do like you and your team.  They are... I think the word is nice and decent?"

"Those are good words but we're also experienced in combat," Daniel told her.

"We'll be making sure she can protect herself," Rodney assured him.  "Even if she doesn't end up in space fighting.  We're talking about those options later," he told the image.

She beamed and changed to the one that liked Rodney better.  "I think it is thrilling but scary.  I know the city can."

"Some day you'll be able to defend yourself," he promised.  She smiled at him and faded out.

"What about the Ori?" Vala asked.

Xander shrugged.  "We'll keep doing that as needed, Vala.   Like some of us fight against those ultra Christian sects on earth."

"I saw some of their shows," she admitted.  "It reminded me much of the Ori."

"Yeah, it can," he admitted.  He shrugged.  "It's cool and it'll be a while before you guys will have her back on earth.  Or Atlantis."

"So this is what's after SG-1?" Cam decided.

"No, this is SG-1," Jack said as he walked up to them.  "We can hope we won't have enemies forever."

"I do too," Cam agreed.

"We've all said that within ten years we'd have to retire from fighting due to injuries," Daniel reminded him.

"Good point.  So this is the final job of SG-1?"

"Yes," Jack said with a smile.  "Eventually.  It'll take at least a year to retrofit her."

"Huh.  Then we'll be science heavy."

"If you're on earth and not cloaked, you'll have people trying to pilgrimage or destroy the city for what it represents," Xander told him.  "Plus, setting it up now means that the UN can't butt in and neither can the IOA.  Nila's too sentient to give to someone that'll see her like a big machine.  That's why we turned down Ellis."

"I get that," Cam agreed.  "She's clearly very sensitive."  He shrugged.  "I can see watching over the city.  Then whenever you need us you can call us back."

"Exactly," Jack agreed.  "It'll let Sam do a lot of investigating that the IOA can't really take over."

"Being given them did rankle," Rodney agreed from his spot.

"That's a word I haven't heard used in a while," Xander teased.

Rodney looked at him.  "Don't make me spank you, Xander.  Why are you still shirtless?"

"I was going to spar."

"Then take Mitchell and go spar."  Xander nodded, dragging him off so they could do that.  Ronon and Teyla were giving lessons again.  Vala trailed along because she wanted to watch.  Shirtless, sweaty, panting men?  Yeah, that was up her alleyway of dirty thoughts.

Jack shook his head at Daniel.  "You think?"

"I'm pretty sure but I'm not sure if she'll accept Sam, Jack."

"I think it'll be fine."  Radek came in.  "The wife of her main creator was cheating on him.  Carter is not like that."

"No, she's not," Jack agreed.  "Sam can't keep a date without them getting killed."

"We'll introduce them and see if they can get along," Rodney promised.  "If Nila doesn't like her, there's an ejection system."  Radek smirked at him.  "I'll ask her to send you too, Radek."

"She likes me.  I ask good questions and do more than poke at her."

"I talk to her all the time."  He got back to work, shaking his head.  Nila shifted the plates under both of them and they had their laptops stolen by a beam before they got thrown off.

Daniel smiled.  "Thank you, Nila.  They both needed the swim I'm sure."

"They both need to do things that would make them happier than work.  Neither one has even eaten today," she said primly.  "Then they should go do other happy making things.  Maybe even with Xander since he is bouncy again."

Jack blushed, walking off shaking his head.  "I'll suggest that to the kid when he's done sparring."

"If you wish, I can," she offered.

"Sure, go ahead," Daniel said with a smile.  He went to help those two back onto the pier.  "She said you two haven't eaten lunch yet, and you need to do things to make you happier for a bit, including making Xander unbouncy."

Rodney's mouth flopped open.  "I'm not...." he started in a screech.

Radek patted him on the back.  "Has been a while for you.  Yes?"  He walked off smugly.  He knew how good Xander was at rubbing out cramps and helping him have happy, calm thoughts.  He found Evan cackling and looked at him.  "What has happened?"

"Nila interrupted the sparring match to tell Xander that you and McKay were bouncy like he had been so he should cure it to make you both do something other than work.  Faith cackled her ass off against Vala's shoulder while Xander shrugged and said if you guys wanted to, all you had to do was ask him and he'd consider it."

"Hmm, was nice," he admitted quietly.  He went in there.  "Xander, she threw us and my back is sore."

"I'll work on the backrub after this, Radek."

"Thank you."  Cam stared at him.  "He does give excellent massages."

"Daniel said that," he admitted.  He ducked a flying thing, looking at Armand.  "Hi, Armand, are you helping the sparring?"  The dragon meeped happily.  "Let us finish then you can cuddle."  Xander quit giggling and they got back to it.  Radek saved Armand, sitting by the women to pet him.  Faith scratched his head when it popped over his shoulder.  Vala cooed at him and petted him too, earning a purr from the dragon.

Vala sighed.  "That is a sight to behold."

Faith nodded.  "Definitely one I like seeing."  The guys all shot smirks at them.  "Sweaty is a good look on you guys.  Whole lots of muscles too."

"Yes there are," Vala agreed.  "Why didn't I hit on Xander when he was on base?" she sighed.

"Don't know but boytoy needs more friends than ex's or even casual things."  She shrugged.  "He was damn good, even that first time."  She petted the dragon again.  Vala reached for him but ended up petting Radek instead.  He gave her a pointed look.  "Doc, you're just as fierce as the dragon is and just as needy of petting," Faith told him.  He blushed but let the dragon go play with the girls.  He noticed all the others who had come in to watch.  Including the doctor.  Yes, the women on base had a fine appreciation of that sight.  Jon walked in and sighed, taking off his shirt to join in.  "Wow, mini him there has muscles too," Faith said.

"I wonder if his original one does," Vala said.  "He's much too young for me.  I'd break him."

Faith grinned.  "I doubt that.  He looks sturdy."

"Should see us all in shorts," Xander quipped, cracking the ladies up.  Even Armand snuffled at that.  He tossed Jon his weapon and got his usual sticks.  They groaned but John Sheppard got called in to help even it out.  Xander grinned at Ronon.  "They're watching your butt."

"Not mine.  Yours and Jon's perhaps.  You're both young and feisty."  He ducked a blow by Cam and then one of John's but got John back and Jon got Cam.

"Guys, not leaving me any," Xander complained.  So they attacked him.  Yeah, this was a good match.  The horny women were just a plus in his book.  They got him pinned this time using teamwork and he grinned.  "Awww..."  Jon covered his mouth before he could make a smart quip about them being on top of him.  John and Ronon laughed but Cam helped him up.  "Good job, guys."

The women hooted and clapped.  Someone took a picture and Faith looked back at her.  "What are you doing?"

"Making a Men of Atlantis calendar; this is December's because it's a present," she said with a smirk before running away.

John sighed, shaking his head.  "We'll stop that one somehow."  He looked the others over.  "Injuries?"  They all shrugged.  "Doctor Keller?  Before I get chewed a new one?"

She came over.  "O'Neill, that only needs a bandaid.  You too, Sheppard.  Report to have them cleaned up."  They stomped off.  "Mitchell," she said, looking him over.  "I want to scan that bruise on your calf in case it might clot and cause a problem."  He grumbled but he knew an order.  She looked over Ronon and Xander.  "Why is it you two take so much damage in sparring?"

"Because we can ignore it?" Xander guessed, looking at Ronon.

"True," he agreed.  "I can ignore minor cuts if I have to during a fight.  It's how I was trained."

"Uh-huh.  Report for stitches."  They trudged off together after cleaning and putting up the weapons.  "Teyla, can you please find them something they can't really kill each other with?" she asked as she followed them.  She grabbed them both by the ear when they tried to divert to another area.  "You can shower after we clean you up.  We can even put on the pretty waterproof bandages for you."  They groaned but had to follow where their ears led.  It was really painful otherwise.

Vala looked at Faith, grinning.  "I want one of those calendars."

"Me too," she admitted.  She let Armand wiggle his way down so he could follow the daddy.

"Radek, who was she?" Vala asked, smiling sweetly at him.  "I've got orange candy you can have if you help us get one."

"Do not open those when McKay is even in the room.  He is highly allergic," he instructed.  "Even the hint of it on your fingers could send him to death."

Vala pouted.  "I can understand that.  All citrus?"  He nodded.  "Then I'll keep that in my room and make sure I wash everything very well.  I have those cookie sticks with the chocolate in the center that sound french."

He smiled.  "Xander has his own stash, ladies."

"So who was she then?" Faith asked.

"Doctor Greenburg in psychology.  She's the most junior member of that area."  They smiled at him.  "Make sure I am not one.  I am pretty, but not that pretty and I would hate to know that they snuck naughty pictures of me."  He got up and went back to work.

Faith and Vala giggled, going to find that woman and get a calendar off her.  She wanted the orange chocolates and promised to keep them away from McKay and everyone else.  She gave them computer copies for their laptops and printed copies as well.  They went to hang them up in their rooms.  It was only stapled but that was fine with them.  It started in the current month and went for two years.  Lots of cute guys in tight t-shirts, camo's, and shorts.  Or while sparring, showering, and lounging in the sun.   Even one from the soccer game and Evan from the video game day.

***

Jon looked at Sheppard.  "You know she's been selling copies."

"She claims it's helping morale," he said dryly.  "I've already ordered her to eat her spoils and to not distribute any more of them."

"Am I more worried that she got a picture of Ronon showering outside?" Jon asked.

"Really?"

"I caught a look at Vala's.   She was showing Danny."  He smirked evilly.  "A few other shower pictures too."

"Hmm."  He went to find Faith.  "I want to see your copy."

"Why?" she complained.

"She didn't get consent and there's shower pictures?"

"Two or three," she hedged.  "C'mon, Colonel.  Not like you guys mind being drooled over."

He smirked, shaking his head.  "Only at my consent, Faith.  Let me see it."  She sighed and gave him her laptop.  He moved through it, sighing in displeasure.  "I don't know how she got into the showers."

Rodney rolled over to look then grimaced.  "Digital camera it looks like from the picture quality.  It's not a capture from a live stream."  He stared at it.  "Am I in there?"

"Who'd want to stare at you?" one of the other scientists asked dryly.  "You're noisy and you wear baggy things."

"Twice," John said, letting him see those.  Rodney spluttered at one.  He was clearly overseeing something from above it, had his arms crossed over his chest, his most superior smirk on, and a t-shirt and pants.

"I do not remember anyone taking my picture that day," he complained.

"They've been trading since that outdoor shower picture of Ronon was taken during a mission and she's never been off-world," John told him.

"We really should stop that underground before it gets out of hand."

Faith grinned.  "Jealous you only got two pictures?"

"Insulted that they didn't ask," he shot back.  "The same as you would be, young lady."

She shrugged.  "I let people admire all they want.  It's touching they don't get to do."

"I'd rather have people focused on things instead of drooling over their pictures during meetings," John told her.  He smiled and handed it back.  "Consider it a very limited edition.  You might also warn Xander that he's in there three times."

"Only three?" the other scientist said, grimacing.  "Pity."

"One of him swimming, one of him on the pier that almost looked posed, and then one group one of the sparring session the other day," Faith told her.

"Hmm, sweaty and wet.  Pretty?"  Faith let her see and she nodded.  "Very pretty.  I see one of Carson when he was in after-hours clothes.  McKay for *some* unknown reason."

"All that PT does do a body good," Faith assured her with a smirk.  "He's got abs now."

She shook her head.  "Not my thing.  Younger and cuter, not noisy and arrogant."

"I can throw you in the ocean," Rodney offered.

"You do and you'll have to finish this yourself."

He looked then at her.  "I'd have to anyway since your mind is clearly deficient due to the smut running through it today.  You're wiring backwards."  She huffed off.  He rolled his eyes.  "Dumb.  Simply stupid."  He took the laptop to look at the other pictures.  A few of Jon.  A few of Cam that had to be new or from Vala.  An older one of Daniel in a head scarf and a sleeveless t-shirt that was very tight.  One of O'Neill in dress blues.  He looked at John.  "Do you look like that in yours?"

"Only younger and less distinguished, yeah."

Faith sighed.  "Maybe we should add other pictures then."

"Fat.  Chance," John said dryly.  "No more underground of pictures."

"Fine.  Spoil a girl's solo fun."

He patted her on the back of the head.  "I'm picky about how I let drool on me, Faith, the same as you should be."

She looked at him.  "No one here drools on me."

Rodney snorted. "Then you haven't seen the female version of this mental smut, have you," he said with a smirk at her.  She stared at him.

"There is?" John asked.

"Yes, put out by the same smutty mind I'm afraid."  He found Radek's laptop and got into that file.  "He filed a formal complaint about her doing that to you and others."

Faith took it to look over the images.  Hell, she had one closeup from when she was on a pier, letting the wind blow her hair around, that made her look stunning.  Even if it was in black and white.  "When did they take this?"

John shrugged.  "How often do you watch sunrise on the pier?"

"Good point."  She kept going and found another one of her sparring and one of her in her leather pants and Atlantis leather jacket before a mission.  A few of others.  "Teyla's going to be pissed."

"She knew and was upset, but told her to stop it," Rodney admitted.

She kept going, finding one of a semi-naked Xander, which made her squeak.  "Yeah, I don't think he's on the female's calendar."  She handed it back.

John looked.  "He's very well built."

Rodney nodded.  "Quite, and I have no problem with him and Radek or him and Lorne.  They're making Xander more content and I can only consider that a good thing."

"Me too," John assured him.  "Faith?"

"Hey, if he wants to be a boy lovin' guy, so be it."

"Actually he's bi and he's not flirting as much as he used to," John admitted with a grin.

"Yeah, that's freakiness I don't want to hear about," she admitted.  She left them alone while going to talk to the person who had done the calendars.  She didn't mind owning one but tell her if she was in one!  And share the profits!

***

Nila led Xander to a room he was familiar with.  "What's wrong in here, Nila?"

"There is not enough strength to her signal, Xander.  It is wrong that my child cannot talk back when you talk to her most of the time."

Xander nodded, letting Nila show him what she wanted done.  Rodney came running in.  "What the hell are you doing!" he shouted.

"Freeing my child so she can answer you," Nila told him.

He glared.  "We are short on power, Nila."

"We have enough if we divert from the lamps in botany that they don't need to use," Xander offered.  "Because they have sunlight.  They don't need sunlamps for most things."  Rodney stared at him.  "They don't!" he defended.  "They have a whole lot of sunlight and mirrors to tip more into it."

"They do?"

Xander nodded, pulling that up to free those by turning off the stupid lamps and putting the energy toward the mirror controls and toward Atlantis's projection system.  "A few projectors are reading down too."  He kept going, finding a few other wastes of power.  Like six empty rooms somehow had a power drain for some reason.  "Are we using them to recharge something?"

Rodney looked.  "They're not supposed to be.  I'll yell at them later."  He reconfigured what Xander was freeing up and a few other things that had bothered him.  "Why are we using a freezer setting on one room on the west pier?"

"Botany has a few ice plants."

He groaned.  "Are they huge?"

"No but they wanted the room anyway."

"I'll be screaming about that as well," he decided and got them a different room started.  Then he called Radek to take a few people and fix projection nubs.  Including Xander.  Xander pouted.  "Go.  It's your project."

"I can wire."  He got an idea and did something else with a grin.  "Radek told me he was looking over something the idiot ponytail was doing but it had wrong math.  He fixed it the other night when he couldn't sleep."

Rodney stared at it then at him.  "Showing off?" he asked dryly.  "You supposedly can't do those sort of things, Xander."

"Bite me but don't tell anyone," he muttered.  He fixed a few other things and smirked as he fixed the drain off the ZPM for 'sleep cycle' that hadn't been turned off.  "Do we have any active cryo chambers outside of the one for Beckett?"

"Just that one, why?"

"We've supposedly got ten active."

Rodney shifted to look, turning off any that didn't have an actual body in it.  Beckett's failed for a nanosecond then restarted and it was listed as working better.  "Thank you.  I'll be checking on that too."  He gave Xander a push toward Miko when she came in.  "Take him to check those projection nubs."

"Yes, Rodney."  She led him off.  "What were you doing?"

"What Radek taught me while he was working on it."

"Oh.  Kavanagh's flawed power program."

He nodded.  "Yup, the idiot ponytail."  She giggled, swatting him on the arm.  They went to rewire the projection nubs no matter who gave them odd looks.  It let Atlantis start to come out better.  Which they'd probably like, even if she did fixate on Xander too.  Nila was very nice and having an image to talk to was nicer.

Back in the room, Rodney was muttering to himself about idiot future scientists that he had to give more tests to.  Apparently Xander had skimped on telling him some things he knew how to do in an emergency.  That was not going to be allowed to keep going on.

***

Radek cornered Xander, staring at him.  "You implemented my program?" he asked quietly.

"Yup."

"It was still theoretical."

"We had a lot of wasted energy anyway, like the freezer room for Botany and their sun lamps when they had focusing mirrors."

"Hmm."  He gave him a pat.  "Rodney is pacing and swearing about you doing so without his authority."

"We need to find out who had been using things to recharge things."

"We will.  The list?"  Xander handed it over with a sheepish grin.  "We'll start with the containment chambers so we can check on Carson."  He walked him down there.  It was well away from Rodney's temper.  He hoped.  Xander didn't deserve that yelling.  Plus he could tell Xander about Carson.  He had been an amazing person and someone who would have mother henned Xander until he gave in and simply pouted.

Three hours later John looked at the staff on his base.  "Does anyone recognize these?" he asked, holding up the chargers for batteries, shavers, radios, and all manner of things.  "We seem to have found them in some strange areas they shouldn't have been.  We can't be sure they didn't decide to become sentient and move themselves but we thought we'd check first," he said sarcastically.

One raised her hand slowly.  "That goes to my razor, sir; it exceeds my limit because my room's on the poor energy side but I love my room.  So I was using a plug in the room next to mine."

"We can up that," Rodney said, glaring at her.  "Doing things like that throws our energy projections out of whack and we have no idea what's taking up so much energy.  Also, the people who so *cleverly* plugged into the cryovac units?  You're in deep shit if I have to fix them during an emergency so they can be used to save someone important's life.  You nearly got Beckett's unit shut down as well."  They all flinched at that.  "That one, you're due for a long discussion on how and why you did it for mere rechargeable batteries.  We now have specified areas, people.  Even we have to use them if we're in a lower energy tower.  Even me."  They backed away, they could tell he was pissed off.  "So, give, who did it?  Before I ask and get it in living video."

"We don't have video there," someone said.  "We all tried to check on Carson when he was put in there."

"Atlantis, who did it?" he called.  She put up video and he smirked as those people tried to hide.  Ronon swatted four of them into the open.  The leader sank down and was not a happy camper to be outed.  "Good, thank you.  Did we miss any?"

"Two from my tower.  I have them in the hallway but they're good things like doorbells," Xander offered.

"You regulate your own power usage, Xander, even with your tv.  We all realized you're not sucking off the main power base and I will be looking at your version of the generator to see how."  He looked at those four and his scientists.  "I'd run to the office and hope like hell Sheppard gets you first," he ordered.

"I have the right to spank if you're endangering the city," John said dryly.  "Come get your shit and consider this a write-up, people.  Xander, we're going to be checking yours for power drain.  McKay?"

"I already did.  He uses less than one lab's worth for his office and room.  That's within standard limits with his computers and those things."  John nodded.  "Plus he supplements his own."  He walked up there to yell at others.  The rest of them got their chargers and slunk off.

Atlantis appeared in the control room.  "They did not look happy," she said quietly.

Rodney smirked.  "They knew they were doing wrong by being morons.  They deserve to get yelled at for it."

"I suppose that is true."  She left, going to talk to Nila and Nila's new family.  She liked her brother Xander.  He was sweet to them.

John shut them in his office so they could both yell at them.  That sort of fixing was not allowed, especially not when so much of the city really needed fixed.  Recharging your MP3 player was not more important than the cryogenic storage units.

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