The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 15: Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Xander ran into the medical bay, looking around.  He was seeing things he didn't want to see.  He loved orgies but really!  Eww!  He grabbed a scanner and ran it over the nearest couple.  He got growled at so he walked out and down to the regular lab.  "Atlantis, what is this?" he asked as he walked.

"I do not know, Xander."

"Do you know the cause?"

"I believe the cause of the mating is in Botany.  There seems to be spores in the air."

Xander looked up.  "Can you identify the plant?"

"No I cannot."

"Nila, can you identify the plant that's causing the rutting?" he called.

"Yes, I can.  It is widely known for such problems.  It is in my database, Xander," she said over the speaker nearest to him.

It came up on the scanner and he grinned.  "Cool.  How do we stop it?"

"I do not know," Nila admitted.  "Short of removing all the spores, this behavior will continue."

Xander walked into Botany, finding the damned plant easily enough.  He locked a case over it, pulled over a post it to put a note on it, then taped it down and sent it off magically.  "Okay, that'll help," he decided.  "What if we vent the air from the city?  Will that help?"

"You would have to vacuum the air," Atlantis offered.  "The effects are widespread."

"What about the people on the mainland?" Nila asked.

Xander considered it.  "Are they in the path of the wind for the next few days?"

"I believe they would be tomorrow," Atlantis told him.  They both materialized once he got into Radek's lab.  He bowed to both of them and they bowed back.  "It is not hard to do, but I would suggest we vent it into the sea instead."

Xander read over the plant's peculiar nature again, nodding.  "Can we do that without hurting anyone?"

"Yes," Nila said.  "The system is in place on both of us to vent harmful atmosphere in case of chemical accident or other harmful gasses being released into the air."

"How long... four days?" he asked Nila.  That's what the file said and he was thinking this sounded vaguely familiar.

"That is usually how long it takes.  The spores' biological imperative makes sure that the people who they attach to do roll around on the ground and leave biological deposits in the form of sweat and semen to nourish it."

"I get that."  He considered it.  "Okay.  Atlantis, where does the infirmary stock all the tylenol, aspirin, and advil?"

"It is in the second storage closet, which is presently clear of people."

"The muscle rub?"

"The same closet, on a lower shelf.  I can move them out for you if you wish."

"Please."  He looked at Nila.  "Can you do the venting while she's doing that?"

"That would mean a level of interaction that Doctor McKay did not want me to use yet," she said, wavering her image to another one.  "The gate just activated and I believe there is a call."

Xander rushed out to the gate room, jogging up the stairs, transferring the call to Chuck's station.  He was presently under the desk with himself.  "Yes, sir," he said.

"Harris, where's everyone else?" he asked.  "Another fun day?"

"We had an unfortunate plant spore problem start earlier, sir."

"Are they passed out, son?"

"No, sir, they're screwing," he said bluntly.  "According to Nila's database, the plant does this every six months to reproduce itself.  In humans it creates a mating urge to reproduce so their spores get little biological deposits to help it after we've rolled them all onto the ground."

Landry winced.  "How long has this been going on?"

"Nila started to giggle about..."  He checked the time.  "Under an hour ago.  I asked her why, she told me about all the mating going on.  I've got plans in place to vacuum the air like we had a chemical release so we can send the majority of the spores into the water."

"Good!  Are you sending the plant to us?"

"No, sir, you don't have a good containment system if you wanted to keep it alive.  Nothing that would allow you to feed and water it."  Landry moaned.  "Fortunately, since I set it up myself, I know that Torchwood 4 does.  I sent it there to Dawn.  With instructions to put it into the quarantine system and what it does."

"Why them?  They're not cleared for classified material."

"Sir, Jack's traveled like I have and I'm pretty sure he's run into it before.  When I was traveling, the Doctor pulled me out of a marketplace quickly after mentioning a plant going off.  I saw a few people falling down to oral sex right then and there.  Jack was with us at that point so I'm pretty sure he knew since he was smirking and took in a big lung-full before going back into the Tardis."

"I see.  They're still not...."

"I trust Jack to protect people more than I trust anyone, sir.  He's protected the people for a very long time."

"I understand that."

"Plus they did have the necessary containment system, which the base didn't.  Once you have one set up I'm sure he'll be handing it over."

"I'll call to make sure in a few minutes.  Anything else on this plant?"  Xander sent the file to him.  "That does look nasty."

"Sir, if you wanted to make the program money, you can make an herbal viagra that's better than anything in the system presently," he said dryly.  "Even the people who can't have sex are having sex.  I saw the Marine that was so scarred from an explosion that he doesn't work anymore and has no feeling down there, screwing a nurse."

"Oh, dear."

"Exactly.  Plus, hey, if it affects Jack, he won't really mind," he said dryly.

"What other plans do you have?"

"Tylenol, muscle rub, reminding them not to use it as a lube.  The normal things I'd do after an orgy.  The shrinks can deal with any aftermath but the file doesn't say that it makes you take non-consensual action.  It does say that it promotes fertility actually."  Landry shuddered.  "So I don't know, sir.  Do you have any other suggestions?"

"Is it really that bad?"  Xander hit a few keys and typed in a command to log the cameras from the mess hall into the feed.  Landry's face went bright red.  "Cancel that."  Xander did that.  "Walter, did he cancel that feed to us and Midway?" he called.

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you."

"There's three massive orgies going on, sir.  There, the infirmary, and the atrium by Botany.  I'll figure it out, I always do, but if the ships are coming, don't let them dock."

"I'll call them, you send out a note as well.  They should be on your end."  Xander nodded.  "Then make sure no one gets too injured."

"I'll do what I can, sir.  Do we have condoms?"

"You should yes."

"Then I'll put them out in bowls and prompt the usage."

"Good.  I'll get with Harkness later on once I make sure we have a containment system set up."

Xander shook his head.  "They were talking about when Morticia and Gomez end up spawning and that they didn't have one set up that would allow them to feed and water the plants.  Just to quarantine it away from everyone like a new power source."

"I'll arrange that then.  Let Sheppard give me a report when he's done."

"Probably six days until they get fully back to normal.  The file said it took the Ancients four but we're all a bit wound from the combat up here."

"Good point.  Do you see anything that might be raise review forms?"

Xander went into the office, coming back a minute later.  "I see about eight done, maybe nine, one's sticky.  I see a few that have to be done."

"That's fine.  Have him send those with his blunt report about this."  Xander made that note and held it up to the camera, earning a smile.  "Good job.  Get hold of the Apollo."


"Unfortunately, yes."  Colonel Ellis was not going to be amused.  Things like this would drive the man nuts.

"Yes, sir.  Thank you for calling, sir.  Have a better day and take something for the headache I can see throbbing."  He hung up and pulled out his magical, mystical cellphone while the gate shut down and cycled through the self check.  "Dawnie, me.  Did you get the plant?"  He grinned.  "Good.  No, it's already done that today.  Get it into quarantine, call Jack, then let Landry call him to tell him when they can handle it."  He beamed.  "Good girl.  Love and miss you too, sprout."  He hung up and put out a call to the ship.  It was a bit wide and he winced but he couldn't get it narrowed down.  "How in the hell do I do this?" he asked it.

"Blue button, sir, then the two green buttons, select the ship with the mouse," the tolerant sounding answer came back.  "Unless it has to be private."

"Just to you guys."  Xander did that.  "Still reading me, Apollo?"

"Yes, sir."

"I need Ellis please?  This is Atlantis and we have a biological contaminant floating around right now."

Atlantis shimmered into view.  "I can do the venting now, Xander."

"Will it hurt anyone?  Anyone in the way that'll be deprived?"

"No.  No one is in a critical or sealed area that could be overly affected."

"Then please vent it, Atlantis."

"Harris, what are you doing?" Colonel Ellis demanded.

"There's a plant that vomited spores into the air that's ...."  He read off a technical name.  "Look that up.  We have that problem all over base due to the plant."

Ellis groaned but apparently did it because he swore.  "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I just had a talk with Landry too.  I'm about the only one not affected."  Chuck moaned.  "Rest, Chuck.  I've got tylenol and stuff sitting out for you guys when you need it."  He looked back at the system, finding the video was on.  "There you are," he said with a smirk.  "How do I send the video feed?"

"I've already plugged in and I'm disgusted."

"The plant..."  He sent that file to him.

"I see it's unavoidable," he sighed after reading it.  "How long?"

"Spores last for four days, I just vented the city into the water to get most of them.  Six days at the most to be back to their chipper selves."

"All right," he decided.  "Need medical support?"

"Tylenol, muscle rubs, make soup," he said bluntly.

Ellis snickered.  "Yeah, that's a good idea too, kid."

"Been in a few myself over the years, Colonel.  Watch our asses for us?"

"Gladly.  We'll be above and waiting on Sheppard or someone to regain sense.  By the way, we have Woolsey."

"Do you really want to infect him with this?"

"No.  He'd be horrified.  Why aren't you affected?"

Xander shifted.  "Biological and DNA contamination."

"I heard about that.  It's keeping you from succumbing?"

"It's making it react slower at the very least.  Though I can withstand a queen Gou'ald.  This is basically the same level.  So yeah, I'm a bit hit but I'll be hiding the last few days of mine."

"What about..." he started.

Xander held up a hand.  "If I get volunteers, go me," he said bluntly.  "If not, I know how to handle it.  I'm a big boy, Ellis."

"Okay.  Keep us informed."

"Can do."  He hung up and looked at the two images.  "Is that hung up?"  Atlantis finished cutting the feed and he grinned.  "Wonderful."  He took his scanner off, taking into the caf.   He laid out sandwich stuff on the cold trays, turning off the burnt stuff in the ovens.   He checked everything else, it was out too.  Nila pointed at one so he turned off the dishwasher too.  "Okay.  That'll do."  He considered what else he could do.  "Condoms and lube?"

"I did pull it out and put it in various locations," Nila said proudly.

"Thank you for thinking of that.  Atlantis, is there a totally unused room that we can turn into a swimming pool?  It could help a lot."

She ran over her schematic then nodded.  "Room B-13."

"That's the bomb room," he said, considering it.  "High doorway, sunken floor.  The quarantine room?"

"There's no pipes into there," she said.

"Okay, let's move everything out of the bomb room?  Or do I need to go do it?"

"I can," she promised, doing that for him.  "It's going up the hall into the storage room."

"Some padding is left," Nila told her.

"That was already there, Nila."

"Is it waterproof?" Xander asked.  She nodded.  "There's nothing left?  Not tools, nothing else?"


"Okay, flood it to make it into a lounging pool and heat it to just below body temperature please."  They both smiled and did that for him.  Xander walked out, going to the first area, in the other side of the mess.  "Guys, there's a pool in the basement," he called, moving the condoms closer to people.  "Plus we have food set out for you when you're tired."  A few grunted at that.

Nila 'wrote' a message on the wall, getting a nod from Atlantis for that thought.  "That is very reasonable," Atlantis told her.

"Thank you," she answered, smiling back.

"Good job," Xander praised.  He walked off, going to tell the others.  "Guys, food in the mess to make sandwiches and the bomb room has a pool now," he told them.  He got a few who were panting up and found the tylenol bottles to hand over.  The female smiled and took two.  "Food in the mess, pool in the bomb room."

"Sure," she said weakly.  "Why aren't you affected?"

"I'll get hit later."  She nodded so he walked groups down there, bringing down a tray of meats, cheeses, and breads for them.  Plus bottles of water.  He got a few more down there, smiling when one kissed him.  "Hi to you too."  He let them into the room, smiling when they slid down the padding into the water.  There were steps but this would help a lot.  "Atlantis, bathrooms down here?"

"Six," she promised, making them light up.

"Good.  Referee down here, make sure no one drowns.  Let me help the others."  They nodded and one took each end of the pool to watch over the frail humans.  Xander went up to the atrium by Botany, sighing.  "Hi, guys.  I've got food, tylenol, muscle rub, and a warm pool set up."  They groaned but let him hand them stuff and walk them down there.

Radek pushed him against a wall, kissing him hard.  "What is this?" he asked in Czech.

"This is the pretty plant with the star-shaped flowers, Radek.  It's a spore."  He took another kiss with a smile.  "Go rest.  You need to rest."


"You can have me later.  Go rest in the pool for me."  Radek nodded, helping another few people down there.  Xander went to break up John.  The Marines were skinny dipping in another pool that had been set up by the city.  The gym had hopefully been cleared of everything.  He saw the weapons cabinet and waded in to check it, carrying it out after he ripped it off the wall.  Everything else was gone and the floor had been sunk down by about five feet.  Enough to stand up in for most people.

He led more people in there and it was better.  He put in trays of food, water, tylenol, muscle rub, and condoms with lube on a shelf the city had created next to the door.  "Guys, food," he called with a point.  "Condoms, food, water, tylenol."  A few went to get what they needed and he left to search out the others.  Poor Chuck got taken to the second room since it wasn't full.  The other military guys went into the gym.  They probably played a bit rougher than the scientists.  Xander took a break to eat something and have some water.

"Okay, ladies, can we find any stragglers not in there and not in their rooms?"  A map was sent to the scanner and he went to check on them.  He put food in the rooms with people going at it.  Then he went to collapse in his own bed.  He was tired now.  Armand was having fun in his bathtub.  Nila was having her own fun in her city, he could hear that.  "My laptop," he moaned.  It was beamed in.  "Thank you, ladies.  Tell me if I have to handle anything."  They sent virtual pats to the scanner and he went limp again.

Radek stumbled in with Lorne, walking over to the bed.  "You left."

"You guys needed privacy."

Radek snorted and leaned down to kiss him.  "You would wear this out better than anyone, Xander."  Evan got his other side.  "Do you mind if we take your help?"

"I'd love to help you two."  They beamed and he put the scanner on the free pillow then let them do whatever they wanted to him.  Or whatever they wanted him to do to them.  Radek was a pushy bottom as it turned out.  Evan had a slightly kinky side.  It was all good though.


Xander woke up from a nice rest, looking at the two with him.  Then at the man at the foot of his bed.  "Rodney?"

"She's going to complain that you flooded the bomb disposal room."

"We needed it."

"We did," he said, rubbing a hand through his hair.  "I....  How long?"

"Four days for the spores but I vented it into the water so it wouldn't hit the mainland too.  You guys should be back to normal in six."  Radek was teasing his stomach, making him smile at him.  "Awake?"

"Quite.  Rodney, why are you asking?"

"He's not as affected."

"He is," Evan moaned.  "He got hit more slowly due to the merpeople DNA stuff."

"Damn it," he complained.  Xander grinned.  He sighed, looking at them.  "I ...I can't find anyone."

John walked in and looked at him.  "Xander?"

"Six days at the most, John.  Four days to kill the spores."

"Okay.  Thanks for the pools and the food.  Most of us can almost think now."  He looked at them.  "You guys look very pretty together."

Evan smirked at Radek.  "I am jealous," Radek said firmly.  "But this is not normal and will not happen again.  Right?"

Xander kissed him.  "Not without knowledge and consent, Radek."

"Then so be it.  Is a shame that we won't use the whole bed."  He shifted over.  Rodney climbed on and John got the other side with a smirk.  "Ladies are not jumping on you?" Radek asked him.

"No, it's making me think really bad thoughts about babies."

"It says it does that," Xander admitted.  "That's why I put out condoms."

"Good idea."  He took a kiss and they all fell together.  Mouths of sin.  Fingers of doom.  Asses that inspired creation fantasies.  They were probably loud enough to be heard up on the ship in orbit but oh well.  The scanner beeped and Xander panted, looking at it.  "Atlantis, is it a problem?"

"Mr. Woolsey did beam down but has been taken by the spores," she admitted.  "I have pointed the way to the current playing areas and he is involved.  Ellis did not want to send him but did so at his insistence."

"Yay him.  It'll make him happier," he said dryly, cracking the others up.  "Thank you."

"You are welcome."  She turned herself off.  She and Nila agreed, they didn't want to see anything that the humans were getting up to this time.  They were watching each pool area.  Atlantis also had a link back to the infirmary so she could move more necessary things out when they ran out.


Dawn called the SUV.  "I have you on speaker, Dawn.  What's wrong?" Jack asked.  He was driving toward a problem.  As usual.  With Ianto beside him logging into the system and Gwen in the back dealing with the police.

"Xander just sent you a screwing plant from the city.  He said it vomited spores a bit ago, you knew about them because of some marketplace.  I've put it in quarantine like the note said and he said when he called.  He said Landry will be calling sometime soon."

"Can you send us a picture of it?" Jack asked.

"Maybe," she admitted, hitting a few keys.  "I'm getting 'blocked access'."

"I'm trying to get in, Dawn," Ianto said.  "Let me."  He logged in again and let Jack see the image.  "Do we know it?"

"Yes, I do," he said with a smirk.  "It's a procreation flower as some people called it.  It makes you want to find the most fertile woman and screw her into the nearest surface.  Xander sent it from the city?"

"Yes," Dawn said over the speaker.  "His penmanship was a bit shaky too."

"I don't doubt it.  The Doctor kept him from being affected the last time we ran into it."  He turned a corner sharply.  "Keep it in that quarantine unit, even though it's already mated and sent out spores.  Just in case some hung onto the leaves.  I'll call Landry in a bit to talk to him, and to get Xander out of trouble for sending it to us.  Though I have seen that pretty little flower all but destroy some civilizations where there weren't enough women."

"What if they're gay?" she asked.  "Like firmly gay."

"I've seen guys who couldn't get it up do so with this.  That is the herbal viagra of the universe," he said bluntly.  "So if you're feeling affected, go ahead and steal a few things from my bottom desk drawer and hit the bathroom.  We'll be back in hopefully an hour."

"Nothing on my end yet," Dawn said, sounding miserable.  "Maybe it's just me though."  She hung up.

Jack shook his head.  "Log me into the SG phones, Ianto."  He nodded that it was up.  "This is Jack Harkness of Torchwood 4.  Please connect me with General Landry."  Hold music came on and he was connected to someone who sounded upset.  "General, I'm sure you've heard that Xander sent that damn plant to me for safety reasons."

"What sort of containment system do you have over there?" he asked.

"We have a variety due to the things we deal with.  Including one with waldos and an entry port for water and things.  Also, Xander knew that putting it on your base was probably the worst idea unless you wanted to be doing what his city is probably doing."

"I hadn't thought about that."

"Around the office, we don't much care," Jack said dryly.  "Dawn has it in quarantine for you.  Let us know when you're ready for it and we can give you coordinates to beam to for picking it up."

"I can agree with that.  Are you sure it'll be safe?"

"We've hid many alien things in the past, General."  He turned another corner and muttered at traffic as he went around something.  The general laughed at what he had said.  "I've also seen that thing start wars because it creates a procreation urge, not just a mating urge."

"I saw that in the file he sent me.  I'll talk to you within a week to get that from you, Harkness.  Be safe and I'm sure he'll want to hear from Dawn soon."

"That's wonderful.  She just sent him an email yesterday gushing about this new boy who thinks she's exotic because she's American."

"Wonderful," he said blandly.  "I have daughters."

"She's not a bad one to have," Jack told him.  "A bit fussy.  She even kisses injuries."  He slammed on the brakes.  "Talk to you in a week, General."  He hung up and they rushed toward the scene to handle it.


Xander walked down to the infirmary the next day, grabbing a few pills of tylenol and a few bottles of water, going to hand them over to his guests.  They were all exhausted and ready to nap it off.  He made them take them and went to check on things.  Not that Xander didn't feel like limping but he could handle this.  He ran into Woolsey muttering and almost walking, taking him to the food line.  Woolsey fell on the food and made himself a double layer sandwich.  "I told them not to let you down yet," he told him.

"I heard, but it's my people.  I should be here, Harris."  He looked around, shuddering at the screwing going on.  He took a bottle of water too.  "How long?"

"Four days to kill the spores, six to probably be fully out of it.  We have pools set up if you'd like."

"No, I think I'll visit our closet," he admitted, going to do that and then hide in his suite.

Xander walked around with food, making sure everyone got something, even if they were in the middle of something.  He put more in the pool areas, smiling when the people fell on them.  He noticed the condoms were getting low and called the ship.  "Colonel Ellis?"

"Yes, Harris?  Problems?"

"Some.  We're starting to run out of muscle rub, condoms, and advil.  Do you guys have any in our shipment?"

"We don't have condoms I'm sure," he said blandly.  "Why do you guys?"

"Alien VD and the IOA said that they'd rather we had porn than alien VD."

"Oh, that memo," he said, grimacing.  "I saw that."

"We have a closet," he said dryly.  "None?"

"No, not in the manifests.  Tylenol we have some of in the infirmary.  Let me ask them.  Hold on."  He put him on hold.  Xander smiled when Evan walked up to where he was.

"Let me get some supplies," he said, taking a kiss.

"Gladly."  He looked him over, smoothing a hand down his back.  "You've been slacking in PT," he teased.

"It'll be okay.  It's not like I can't spar."  Evan beamed at that.  "Do you like watching it?"

"You look very hot doing it, Xander."  He took another kiss.

Ellis cleared his throat.  "I don't need to hear that, even under the influence of alien plant spores, gentlemen.  The infirmary has a few things, they're sending them down, Harris."

"Thank you.  See you soon for unloading."  He hung up and went to grab the few boxes, carrying them with his help to the infirmary.  He got trapped to a desk and smiled, letting Evan have him then and there.  "Evan!" he moaned.  Yeah, that man was an artist in more ways than one.  His mouth....  He heard the alarm and groaned.  Evan groaned too.  "Atlantis, what is it?"


"Shit!"  Evan laughed, sucking harder to get him off faster.  "Okay.  I'm clear headed.  Evan?"

"Not even close, Xander."

Xander beamed.  "Come watch me be brilliant in the chair?"

"Of course."  They walked that way and found John already in there and Rodney hooking up the second chair.  "Will it work?" he asked McKay.

"It has to.  It did earlier."  He looked at them.  "Xander, are you clear headed?"

"Yes.  Evan's not."

"Major, sit in the second chair.  Xander, can you...." he waved a hand at John's lap.

"Maybe," he said coyly.

John pulled him closer to kiss.  "Please, Xander?  You're amazing and I know I respect you for more than this."  Xander nodded, falling to his knees on the footrest while the chair tipped John back for him.  "Oh, god, yes," he moaned when Xander sucked him down.  "Evan, take the drones on the west side.  I'll take the others and the cannon.  We'll support the Apollo."

"Yes, Colonel."  He panted but Rodney came over to kiss him so he could concentrate better.  He heard John get off and whimpered.  But Xander came over, naked, to sit in his lap.  Xander undid his belt and pulled him out then sat down on him.  "Oh, pretty, Xander."

"Make sure they don't come get me," he whispered in his ear.

"They'd better not."   He and John worked well together, backing each other's plans up.  Xander slowly wiggled on him and it was more than he needed.  He was going to explode soon.  Xander kissed him and he let go finally, exploding two of the drones next to the ships.  It worked and they weren't expecting it.

"Pretty," John promised.  One dart made it through and he shot it down with the cannon, moaning into Rodney's hand job.  "That's not bad, McKay."

"It's not like you're my usual type," he said.  John pulled him down to kiss him.  "What did I do to deserve this?" he asked, smiling some.

"I'd never fuck someone I can't kiss."  He pulled him down, using the tilt of the chair to help him.  Evan let out another groan and Xander kissed him, getting off his lap.  "You two are pretty together but Xander needs a haircut, Evan."

"I'll deal with that soon, sir."  He checked then shut down the shields and let the chair turn off.  It didn't sit up because John wanted it tipped back.  Rodney was going to be begging to see the universe a whole different way soon.  He walked him off, taking him back up to their room.  Radek was pouting so Xander climbed up him to make him happier.  Yeah, that was good.


Evan woke up from a desperately needed nap clear headed for a change.  He blinked, looking at the warm, comforting body between him and Radek.  Radek blinked at him and shrugged slightly on his free side.  Xander shifted some and Evan grabbed the lube, working to prepare him.  Xander needed to know it wasn't just this that had them coming to him.  Xander woke up, grunting in displeasure because he was tired.  "Shh," Evan said in his ear.

"Again?" he asked quietly.

"No, not the spores," Radek assured him, taking a kiss.  The boy stared at him.  "We came to you because we wanted to.  We were both that much in our right minds."  He took another one and Evan teased the poor boy.  "We would be honored to have you when you needed and wanted us to, Xander.   With the military we cannot make it official, but whenever you or we need it?"

Xander sniffled.  "I could like that."  He hugged Radek then turned to hug Lorne.  Which let Radek do wicked things with his fingers.  "I'm probably still stretched, Radek."

"Hush.  I'm having fun."

Xander beamed back at him then wiggled to his knees so he could tease Evan's chest.  Radek growled a tiny bit but it allowed him to play more.  Xander was moaning now and then as he teased all the spots he had found on Evan's chest over the past few days.  He nearly gagged when Radek pulled his fingers suddenly and slid into place, gripping him tightly.  He looked back with a grin.  "Are you being the naughty scientist?"

"Yes, I am."  He thrust in and Xander moaned, moving down to tease Evan some more.  He leaned down, kissing across Xander's shoulderblade.  "Tease him mercilessly, Xander," he whispered.  "I want to see you make him whine for more.  So much so that he's willing to push me out of the way."  Xander moaned, shifting so he could suck on Evan.  Evan clearly liked that, he arched into his mouth and made needy noises.  "That is very pretty."  Someone pounded on the door.  Evan locked it for them.  Then sent the command to seal it until they were done.  The person went away after a few minutes of trying.

Xander pulled back from blowing him to kiss him.  "You're very protective of me and I like that."  He kissed him again, moaning into it because Radek had done something wicked.  Evan wiggled to get into position underneath him so they could rub against each other.  The boy let himself go over pretty fast and it was nice.  They all got off and cuddled.  This was going to be the best part of their time on Atlantis for them.

Xander was finally relaxed, down off his spore high as well, and lazily tracing figures on their chests.  "Atlantis, who was that knocking?" he called.

"That was Colonel Mitchell, Xander."

"I'll find him in a bit."

"He is in the mess."

"Tell him to make sure people ate."

"He is making soup."

"Even better.  Thank you."  He snuggled in better and they let him drift off for a while.

Someone came up and rang the bell.  "Not yet," Evan called quietly.

John got let in anyway.  Being the military commander and the strongest ATA carrier had some advantages.  "Did I imagine a space battle while we were down?"  He looked more in control, like he had bathed, and done his hair.  Basically a bit sweaty still but mostly normal.


"Huh.  Okay then."  He smiled.  "Not like I mind, Rodney doesn't mind as long as you don't hurt him.  Faith doesn't mind.  Ronon doesn't mind.  Some of the other guys might but yay them."  They both smirked at him and Xander purred in his sleep, stretching back against Radek's body while one leg went over Evan's leg.  "Anything I should know?"

"I think the Apollo is waiting," Evan admitted.  "I remembering hearing him and Atlantis telling us Woolsey was back."

"Good deal.  Be safe, show up later if he's better."  He left, locking the door behind himself.  He went down to the caf to check.  Cameron was in the kitchen.  "Need an apron?" he teased with a smirk.

"Probably should before I have to do laundry."  John showed them how they did soup up there, getting a nod for it.  "I saw Woolsey.  He snuck in for food without looking at anyone."

"Yay.  Anything else going on?"

"Two pools.  He flooded the gym and the bomb disposal room.  The weapons were on your desk."

"Thanks.  I'll get that cleaned up if someone doesn't shriek at him."

"I needed that warm soak," Cam said impatiently.  "Cause damn I'm sore."  John grinned and nodded at that sentiment.  "Did I imagine a space battle?"

"I checked on Radek, Lorne, and Xander.  Evan said no, we didn't imagine it."

"Wonderful."  He let it finish warming up and put soup out in serving size bowls.  People came over sniffling.  "Soup," he called over the intercom.  "Eat before you pass out, people."  He served the rest who came in while John got the system to empty the dishwasher.  They left the soup there for any stragglers and went to check on everything else.  They found Ellis in the gate room.  "Ellis," they said in unison.

"I know it said the spores died in four days, I figured our docs could help with the clean up if necessary."

"Please," John agreed.  "I have no idea where Keller is."

"She is in the soaking pool in the gym," Atlantis told him.  "Most of her staff as well."

"Thank you, Atlantis.  You were wonderful while we were incapacitated."

"You are welcome."

Ellis stared.  "She's that reactive?"

"Her and Nila both."

"Is Nila that little addition someone built?" he guessed.

"The prototype city, yes," Cam said.  "O'Neill and Landry said it goes to SG-1 when she comes back to earth.  Once they fix some retrofitting problems with the structure and put on weapons for her own safety, plus a bathroom."

"Sure," he said, nodding some.  "I thought we couldn't find her."

"Xander took Caldwell and McKay," John said.  He yawned.  "Ow."  He rubbed his jaw.  "Sorry if we screwed up that battle I thought I had hallucinated."

"No, you and whoever did a good enough job, Sheppard."  He smirked.  "Let me help clean it up."

"Ellis, we're going to go on the Vegas rule on this situation," John said bluntly.  "What happens due to plant spores, stays a memory that makes you grin stupidly at odd times."

"Agreed.  I'm damn glad I don't have to cart the thing back to earth."

"Where is it?" Cam asked.


"Figures, they would have the containment system," John decided.   "Let's start rounding up personnel.  Thankfully we had some condoms on hand," he sighed as he walked off.

"I saw a note on your desk," Cam admitted.  John went in to look and groaned.  "What?"

"Landry wanted a blunt report about what happened."

"Well, how blunt do you want to make it?" Cam asked.  "A socially acceptable version and then the truth?"

"Maybe."  He walked off, taking Ellis to the infirmary.  Some people were still affected and the doctors were putting them in closed off cubicles.  "Let's get them to their rooms," he decided.  They smiled at him.  "Or the pools."

"We've taken those over for the people who're sore," one doctor told him.  "It was a good idea.  I'll send back a requisition for the used pain relievers, muscle rub, and condoms as well, Colonel."

"Thank you.  Do we have the morning after pill for those who might want it?" he asked.

"A few doses but it only works for 72 hours after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy, the sooner the better.  This...incident did last longer.  If it is wanted, I'll dispense it on an as-needed basis."

"Thank you.   Let me find some other moving people to help get them to their rooms."  She nodded and he went to search.  He found Ronon and Teyla staring in horror at the gym.  "It was necessary and the things were all moved.  The weapons case is on my desk."

Teyla smiled.  "That is excellent news and probably very handy."

"It helped when you're sore," John agreed.  "We've got to move the still affected back to their rooms."  A nurse turned her head to look at him.  "The Apollo is here and her docs have it, people.  Don't worry about it.  Soup in the mess.  Mitchell made it."  She smiled and went back to lounging.  Between them they got the cum-scented, -depleted, and -covered back to their quarters for now.  The rest wandered toward food when told or the pools to soak out the pain from over used and stressed body entrances or exits.  They found Chuck, the gate tech, in a room with a lot of Marines and he was looking like the pack's bitch so John got him out and to his quarters, sitting him in the bathroom and turning on the shower for him since all he could do was whimper.  Then he went to get the others out to their own rooms.


John looked at the mass of people later that night.  "Do you want to know what caused it?" he asked.  A few didn't nod but most did.  "Who remembers the pretty silver, star shaped flower that Botany found?"  Most everyone groaned.  "It's safely in quarantine on earth.  It does it every six months.  We have the file if anyone wants to look at it."  He looked around.  "The main base and the Apollo do know," he admitted.  "They've agreed we were overcome, could not do anything about it, and are going on the Vegas principle.  What happens while spored stays while spored."  Everyone relaxed.  "There are extra medical personnel if anyone, especially women, want to check on things," he said delicately.  "I'm sure we'll all glad that the condoms made their way to us as well.  I know most of the women are on birth control but we'd miss you guys."  They smiled back.  "For now, the pools will stay up for one more day.  All weekly PT is canceled but not range time."

Ellis snorted.  "You're excusing PT?" he asked dryly.

John looked at him.  "Ellis, I, personally, had sex seventy-eight times in four days.  I did so much cardio work this week it's not funny."  Ellis went pink and ducked his head.  "I think that probably holds true for everyone on base.  If they want to go for a run or something, they can do that."  He looked at the group, smiling.  "For now, clean up the areas.  We'll be pumping the pools at dawn on Saturday."

"That's tomorrow," someone called.

"Okay then Sunday," he decided.  He shrugged and checked his watch.  "Everyone make sure you're physically able for duty by Sunday, please remember to eat something since some of us probably only had a sandwich or two.  Who put out sandwiches and the condoms?" he asked Ellis.

"Harris.  He called us, took the call from Landry, and had the plant moved too."

"I figured he had the plant moved."  He nodded.  "Any questions or remarks?"

"What happens if someone does get knocked up, sir," one female Marine said.

"The usual rules apply to you and you can deal with the issue or not," he said honestly.  "I know that's putting the burden of choice on the women.  Sorry."

"It's one we've had all along," another said.

"There are limited amounts of morning after pill packs," John offered.  "I know most of you are on something to help you with that issue anyway."  She nodded at that.  "So I'd see a doc."

"I can do that.  Any other orders?"

"Eat something.  Be fit for duty by Sunday at dawn.  Back to schedule then."  They all nodded and left.  He looked at Ellis.  "Thank you for the good timing."

"Not a problem.  I'll beam down stuff mid-morning on Sunday so you guys have time to make sure everyone on duty is fit."  He walked off grinning.

"Colonel Ellis," one of the women in Botany said, jogging up to him.  "We found seventeen seedlings of that plant in the lab."  He gave her a horrified look.  "They'll need to go back to earth for testing, sir."

"Put them in a containment system?"

"We don't have one you can feed them in.  They're too young to do that to you though."


"Mostly.  They hopefully don't have any spores on them."

"Fine.  They're going in stasis then."

"I can handle that.  Sunday?"

"Please."  She beamed and walked off.  He grumbled but went back to his ship.  It was more sane up there.  Before he beamed he saw Harris walking up the hall in tight jeans and no shirt, plus barefoot.  He groaned.  He looked like an oversexed godling today in the hallway light.

Xander walked in and looked at him.  "Hey."

"Thanks for the weapons."

"It was stuck to the wall so they hadn't moved it.  It shouldn't need dried out though."

"Good.  You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Radek and Evan are both in the mess.  We're pulling together a big table so come eat."

"I am."  He came down to join him.  "Shoes?  Shirt?"

"Shoes I'm working on."  He held them up then dropped them and put the slippers on.  The shirt was nowhere to be seen.  John gave him a pointed look.  Xander turned and even John had to hiss at his back.  It was a mess of scratches.  "Sorry.  Can't."

"Get that cleaned?"

"I have.  It's got bandages on it.  Just hurts like a bitch."

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"Actually, I think most of them were from ...him."

"Yeah, I have a few of those.  He needs to do his nails," he agreed quietly.  They walked into the mess together.  He paused by a table with Kissen's team.  "Faith, are you okay?"

"I had a hell of a ride then locked my happy ass in my room," she said bluntly.  "Before I got too screwed."

He smiled.  "That's fine then."  He patted her on the shoulder.  "Let me know if you see any problems."  She nodded, eating a bite of dinner.  "O'Neill?"

"I'm fine," Jon said.  "Did I hear the alarm?"

"Yeah, we were almost attacked.  It was fairly surreal and I thought I was hallucinating."

Jon nodded once.  "Good job, sir."  He smirked.  "Xander, did you get attacked by a beaver or something?"

"Nails," he said with a small shrug.  He grinned before going to get dinner and heading for their expanded table.  He sat down in the space between Radek and Evan.  Evan looked at his back and winced.  "It's cool," he said quietly.  "You have very short nails.  Radek too."

Radek moaned.  "A few are probably mine since they're bite marks," he said quietly.

Xander grinned.  "Those I don't mind as long as I don't change or get possessed by you."  Radek grinned back, relaxing again.  "So, Ronon, did you hide?"

"With every bone in my body," he said.  "It still wasn't enough."

Teyla coughed.  "The plant?"

"Gone," Xander told her.

"Good!  I do not want to think about that on the mainland."

"According to the plant's file, many places like to have them.  It doesn't just encourage the screwing that went on, but it creates a biological response to find the most fertile female and have her."

"Oh!"  Her eyes went wide.  "So it's meant to increase a population?"  Xander nodded with a slight grin.  "Oh, dear."

"Teyla, go to the infirmary if you're not on birth control," Xander said quietly.  "Now.  We have medicine to keep you from getting pregnant hopefully."  She went to do that.  He dug in.  Rodney came over, wincing at Xander's back.  He sat down in his usual spot.  John got his.  Armand waddled in and climbed up to snuggle his hairy friend.

"Hi, Armand," Ronon said, petting him gently.  "Were you okay?"

"I remember hearing him splashing in a tub," Evan said quietly.

Ronon looked at them.  "Good.  It's about time."  Radek gave him a dirty look.  "You too."  He went back to playing with the dragon.  Cameron, Daniel, and Vala came over to join them.  Teyla came back and took a pill as soon as she sat down.  Ronon looked at Vala.  "It was meant to make people bear children."

"I'm on something since the last time I gave birth," she said bluntly.  "I don't want to have another Adria."  Xander stood up and gave her a hug across the table then sat down again.  "Thank you, Xander."

"You're welcome.  It sucks when your kids go bad."  He grinned at her.  "The pool's still up."

"I plan on enjoying it later," she promised him.  "Where did the spores float to?"

"I had the city vent it into the water," Xander told her.  "Like we had a chemical gas leak."

John stood up.  "People, no swimming in the ocean until we're sure the spores are all gone.  It got vented into the water," he announced.  A few people shuddered but everyone nodded.  "Make sure it's well known."  He sat down.  "Thank you for that warning, Xander."

"Sorry, John."

"It's okay.  Really.  You did a great job handling the emergency."

Cam nodded.  "You did everything we would have."  Xander beamed at them for that.  "Even making sure people ate.  That was killer and needed very much."  He patted him on the arm.  "That really does look painful," he said, nodding at his back.

Xander shrugged.  "I've had more scratches than this from fights, Cam."

Daniel leaned over to look then winced.  "I'm so glad that's not my fault."

"I've had worse," Xander said with a slight grin.  "Even if someone does need a manicure."

Rodney stuffed his mouth.  He knew he had longish nails right now.  So most of them were probably his fault.

Vala swallowed her current bite and looked at Xander.  "So, will any of them be dreaming of how you made them scream later?" she asked Xander.

"No, I stayed out of the way.  I didn't want to ruin them for people with normal stamina, ya know?"

Rodney choked.  He glared at Xander but managed to get his airway clear and wiped off the tears that came out.  "Really, Xander."

"I heard from Anya," Vala said with a smile.  "She was still moaning about losing your tongue and the orgasms you gave her.  I had to have her explain that to me.  I thought they were mythical."

"No, not hardly.  That time in the brothel I was teaching them tricks to bring one faster or how to fake one if their client was running out of steam."  The other guys gaped in horror at him.  "What, guys?"

"How?" Radek asked.

"Better oral sex.  It's a wonderful thing," Xander said with a grin.  Cam gave him a dirty look.  "It's helpful."

"It was," he agreed.

"And for other things," Xander assured him.

"I guess.  You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Cam, I'm fine.  You're a wonderful big brother though."  He gave him a short hug around Radek.  "Quit worrying.  Anyone with me now respects me for who I am, idiot parts and all."

"They'd better.  I will beat their asses if they try to use you," he assured him.  The ones at the table who reacted he smiled at.  He liked Evan and Radek.  Yeah, they'd do Xander good.

Xander smiled.  "It's cool, Cam."

"If you're sure."  He stuffed his mouth, looking at Vala.  "Did you hide too?"

She shook her head.  "I had quite a lot of fun.  I learned whole new things that can be done.  Again, something I thought was only done in stories."

Daniel coughed.  "Not hardly but not everyone is that kinky either, Vala."  He stuffed his mouth.

She smiled.  "Sometimes a bit is fine with me.  Especially that tongue thing."  Teyla moaned, ducking her head, shaking it.  "Sorry, didn't get any?"

"That is not something my people do," she told her.  "Or talk about openly."

Vala smiled.  "I'm happily blunt."

"Yes, you are," Teyla agreed.  "You and Xander both."

Xander shrugged.  "Sometimes it's so good you gotta talk about it."  He grinned.  "Especially when you have that 'it was good' glow about you and you're limping."

"No bragging," John ordered.  "Even if you do look like a debauched sex god right now."

Xander grinned at that compliment.  He glanced at Evan then at Radek, who were both looking down but happy with that compliment to their skills.

Woolsey walked in and over to them.  He stared at Xander.  "Thank you for handling that emergency," he said quietly.  "I erased the interior surveillance tapes of the battle."  He walked off, trying not to blush.

"From what I remember, probably a good idea," John admitted quietly.  He winced a bit but stuffed his mouth.

"What I remember was fantastic," Evan admitted.  Rodney blushed.  "Your memories of hooking in the second chair?"

"Quite...pleasant and decent.  I'd much prefer that sort of thing when my mind wasn't clouded like I had taken drugs."

Xander sighed.  "Don't remind me of that week, please?"

They all stared at him.  "Really?" Cam asked with an evil smirk.

"It was the eighties, guys.  Clubbing in the eighties."  They all moaned.  "But yeah."

"Safety stuff?" Evan asked.

"Fully taken care of," Xander assured him.  "Pre epidemic."

"Thank god," he muttered.  "How bad?"

"Let's see.  Coke made me a bit more mellow.  Not bouncy but I did get a paranoid stretch later on.  Hash gave me the giggles and the munchies and so did pot.  Really bad munchies.  I nearly went cannibal when we didn't have any chocolate for a bit until the people I was with got some.  I got kitty flipped once."  They all stared at him.  "X and ketamine.  That wasn't really my intention but someone had nicely crushed it up and put it into the enema.  I was freaked for hours and thankfully didn't have access to weapons."

"Who were you with?" Evan demanded.

"Raves.  Goth kids at a rave.  I was feeling lonely so I hung."  He shrugged.  "It was a learning experience.  Which is what I wanted."

"Goth kids in the eighties?" Rodney asked.

"They're a bit different than new millennia goths but yeah, there were some.  They were more metal goths.  I learned a *whole* lot about heavy metal that week too."  He grinned. "It really was the learning experience.  And a lot of sex.  Though I flipped out at one point and activated the blippy to get out of there while absolutely smashed on scotch and LSD ice cubes."  He shook his head, eating another bite.

John stared at him.  "Is there anything you haven't done?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know yet.  Someone would have to tell me that it existed so I could see."

"Good point I guess," he decided.  "You're not that wild now, right?"

"No.  That was early in the trip, and I was lonely.  I made bad decisions," he said dryly, smiling at his friends.  "But I did learn a lot about myself."

"Clearly," Evan agreed.  "No more after that?"

"Some strange fume things in Athens to help me get in touch with my inner philosopher.  They insisted.  While I was eating."  He shrugged it off.  "Things like that.  Drugged wine a few times.  Octi was bad about that when he thought I'd be...busy."

"Doing?" John asked.

"Anything but worshiping him," he said dryly.  He ate another bite.

"Can we murder your ex's?" Radek asked quietly.

"As long as they show up here and they're done with their timeline," he said with a grin.  "If you pull a Bill and Ted, then you have to make sure they were nearly dead anyway."

"I'll consider that," he muttered.  "Bill and Ted?"

"You've never seen Bill and Ted?" he asked with a grin.  "Cam?"

"I don't have it in my collection but I know someone who does and can send the thing up in the next shipment."

"Too much time," he said, considering it.

"No blipping.  You're not fully recovered," John ordered firmly.

"Yes, Big Brother John."

Cam laughed.  "I thought it was only me."

"No, it's not just you," he assured him.  "That's Mean Uncle Rodney over there," he said with a fork point before stabbing something and eating it.  "Thank god we have meat tonight."

"Plenty of people probably need the less drinkable protein," Vala quipped, making the men besides Xander choke.

Xander shrugged.  "There's not all that much protein in it that can be absorbed by the body," he told her.  Rodney gave him a horrified look while he choked.  "I said that once and got a lecture," he defended.  "Nearly spanked too."

"The Doctor?" Vala asked.

"No.  He would've given me funny looks again.  He thinks I'm worse than Jack sometimes about that stuff."  He shrugged and ate another bite.  He wouldn't mention that it was a good source of iron according to his ex.  They needed their food too much tonight.

Nila appeared next to Xander.  "Xander, I just ejected two very rude people who did not get introduced to me when they walked into my city."

"Grunts or otherwise?" John asked.

"Soldiers I believe by their uniforms, John.  They wear different patches so I don't know where they serve."

"Can you beam them up here or should I go fish them out?" he asked.

"I can beam them.  Will you be chastising them?"

"Greatly.  They should know better."  She beamed at him and brought the two up.  "Thank you, Nila, and I'll make sure everyone remembers."  She bowed and left.  He glared at them.  "Oh, you're Apollo crew," he said grimly.

"John, I can feel the spores from here," Xander said.

John got up.  "Get me seconds on meat and potatoes please."  He hauled them off to his office to yell at them and then at Ellis for letting them.  He made it very clear about how to treat Nila and then handed them over with the remark that they had been in spore infested water.  Ellis groaned but took them off to deal with them himself.  They could screw in locked quarters.  John came out, running into Woolsey.  "Nila does not like certain people," he said calmly.  "You have to be polite, you have to be introduced, and she has a very high fondness of Xander and his gathered friends."

"I saw her but I didn't feel well enough to go out there.  That's the prototype city?"

"Yes, she's Nila.  She has a very sentient AI.  She's more human than some of the people we've met on other planets.  She's also been alone for a very long time."

"I can understand that.  Who is going to be handling her?"

"Right now, Xander and Daniel are decoding her database and when she goes to earth she'll be SG-1's responsibility.  She's already met them and likes them, especially Vala."

"Wonderful," he agreed.  "Is touring her allowed?"

"Be polite, introduce yourself, do not bring female scientists.  She hates them since her main creator's wife cheated on him on her decks.  Nila?"  She appeared, wavering into another image.  "This Richard Woolsey.  He's from the IOA and he's fairly decent.  He's the civilian head of Atlantis at this time."  She bowed to him and he bowed back, smiling at her.  "He wanted to know if you could do a tour with him early tomorrow?  Since it's so late and you don't have a whole lot of lights right now?"

"That would be most acceptable.  Will Xander be back then?  I miss him and Daniel."

"I think he's strong enough to come out tomorrow, yes.  He's unspored so he should be fine."

She beamed.  "Thank you, John.  I'll gladly lead him on a tour tomorrow."  She faded out.

Atlantis faded in.  "We do need Xander to decode some of our more private journals as well," she said quietly.  "I do not feel jealousy so he can work on them from her if he wishes."

"I'll tell him those are open to him now," John said with a smile and a bow.  "Thank you, Atlantis."

"You are most welcome.  The last few in the pools are going to their rooms."

"Remind them of diner and let them go.  We'll let the people who are still sore soak tomorrow then drain it at dawn on Sunday."

"I can do that," she promised with a smile.  "Did it help?  Xander said it would."

"It helped a whole lot.  A lot of us are sore because we're not in relationships right now."

"I noticed that.  If I find a room that may do, I'll mention it."  She disappeared.

John smirked at Woolsey.  "Nila considers Atlantis her child and Xander too.  Jon and I are considered family of Atlantis.  Xander is Nila's family so his friends are mostly her family as well."

"Understood.  Does earth know?"

"O'Neill and Landry know.  The IOA is very busy with all those new outposts," he said with an evil smirk.

"I understand perfectly."

"One of the watchers on the council showed up here.  Xander nearly spaced him."

"I heard."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Let me put my tray up and go rest some more."

"You can use the pools too, Woolsey."

"No thank you.  I know what went on in them.  I have a shower."

"Okay."  He went back to dinner, finding his plate and glass both refilled.  He grinned.  "Thanks, guys.  Woolsey's going to be touring Nila tomorrow, and she's missed you, Xander."

"I'll be out there first thing," he promised with a grin.

"Atlantis said she doesn't feel jealousy so you can work on the private journals out there too."

"Gladly," Daniel agreed, smiling at him.   "Thank you."

"She'll see if we can find a soaking pool room once those are back to normal."

"I'd love a real pool," Ronon said.  "That one was nice to soak in.  Even if I did have to watch some people in odd combinations doing things I never would've thought of with my wife."

"Humans have many ideas I never thought of either," Vala told him.

"Do not even mention the anime," Cam ordered before she could go on.

"I like anime," Xander pouted.  "You never have to worry about if they're clean, if they have fake parts, or if they're cute."

Evan shook his head.  "I'm not joining in this conversation."

Radek cleared his throat.  "Many of us in the scientists watch anime.  They were very appreciative you got them some for the closet."

"Always happy to help," he quipped back with a grin.

"It was disturbing to listen to them talk about them for *weeks* on end," Rodney pointed out then ate his last bite of food.  "And please don't tell them if you have more.  Especially not the exotic stuff.  I think half the botany department saw one of the tentacle ones."

"Trying to eat here," Cam complained.  "I get enough of that from Vala.  Thank you."  He stuffed his mouth and went to get seconds.

Radek and Rodney shared a smirk.  "Are there more tame ones?" Rodney asked.  "Since I don't indulge in that proclivity."

"Many.  Including some that are just fun."

"I have Excel Saga," Xander said with a grin.  "No porn but mental crack."

Rodney cackled.  "Next movie time, we're doing that."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Finish up.  Let's all get some rest so we can start work again tomorrow.  If we can move," he said, looking at Radek.

"I move just fine."  He heard Xander's mumbled 'yes you do' into his water and patted him on the arm.  "Let me cream that for you?  Your back looks nasty still."

Xander smiled.  "We can go play games afterward.  Evan?"

"Not tonight, guys.  I've got overnight shift tomorrow and I need a nap."  He smiled.  Xander gave him a shoulder-to-shoulder nudge.  "But I agree, have Radek put something on those.  They look bad."  He ruffled the kid's hair and got up to toss out his trash then went to get some sleep.  Xander was cuddly, warm, and wiggled.  He kept waking up at the wiggling.

Radek finished up and so did Xander.  "We'll be playing indecent games with crap music."

"Rap music," Vala corrected.

"I was correct the first time," he assured her, earning a laugh and a smile.  He walked off with Xander, taking him to the infirmary.  "Did you give him anything to put on those later?"

"I have liquid bandage on it," Xander told him patiently.

The doctor looked then got a small tube of cream.  "Use that.  Some woman on base has claws."

Xander looked at her nails then grinned.  "Manicures aren't all that needed.  Marine chicks, ya know?"  She blushed and walked off giggling since she was one of those.  He walked Radek off.  "So, just Grand Theft tonight?"

"We'll see what might get played."  He smirked once they were in the transporter.  Armand showed up right after them.  "Did we forget you?"

Xander picked him up with a groan.  "I thought you were going to worship Ronon's hair tonight, Armand."  He got nuzzled.  "Sure, we'll cuddle while Radek puts that stinky stuff on me."  Armand meeped at Radek, who let him sniff the cream.  Then he settled back in.  They took the second transporter and then up the flight of stairs after a glance in the office.  It was still okay.  Xander's room smelled like a brothel so he opened the windows for a bit.  Armand went to stare out one while Xander laid down on his stomach once the bed was changed.  Radek gently rubbed the cream on, earning a few moans and one quiet 'ow'.

"I will make sure his nails stay trimmed," Radek promised.

"Not like he usually gets to grope me, Radek."

"I know."  He kissed the back of his neck.  "I am sorry for my own contributions."

Xander grinned.  "I'm not."  Radek laughed, spanking him lightly.  Xander sat up and took another kiss.  "Want to play a game or *play a game*?" he asked with a teasing grin.

"Let us relax tonight.  I'm feeling disquieted by the spores."  Xander gave him a cuddle and it was nice.  They settled against the headboard to play a game and it was even better.  They fell asleep during it, Xander on his shoulder.

Armand looked over and carefully climbed in between them.  He loved the Radek friend.  He wanted to cuddle them both.  He also carefully removed the clicky things that they had been playing with.  No biting the cords this time because Daddy pouted.  They hit the footboard when he tossed them so that was good.  Xander shifted and Armand got trapped under his arm but against Radek's chest.  Right where he wanted to be!


Daniel walked into John's office the next morning.  "I couldn't get Xander or Radek up.  It looks like they fell asleep playing video games," he said quietly.

"I know.  They've done that before and none of us mind."

"I don't mind or care really but someone will probably try to say something.  They did in the past, John."

"I heard.  Those three play games all the time and I'm sure it's happened before."  He smiled.  "It's okay, Daniel.  We're not all that intolerant up here.  The wraith eat those ones faster."


"Sorry."  He smirked.  "Want to take Woolsey on his tour?"

"Sure."  He went to get him and take him out to Nila.  "Good morning, Nila."

"Good morning, Daniel.  Is Xander up yet?"

"No, he's still napping.  He's got Armand as a pillow right now."  She looked up there and smiled.  "He'll be down in about an hour probably.  He's got a game that's been going all night it looks like."

"That's very cute."  She followed them around, explaining things.  She was thrilled that Rodney was going to be putting a bathroom on her.  Woolsey just nodded and smiled at most of it.  He agreed a bathroom was a good idea too so he was clearly kind at the very least.

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