Note:  I did not see the episode _The 11th Doctor_.  Sorry.  While the events are included as much as I could go back and add in, it's not how it happened there.  Also, most sex scenes in this story were left up to the reader's imagination so whatever pairings you like could happen however you wanted. <G>.  Happy Reading.

The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey.

In Wales, a young man accepts the small package and few pieces of junk mail from the post man with a smile and a head nod.  He looks at the mail before tossing it, but the package was addressed to him.  He knew he hadn't ordered anything, and he certainly wouldn't have had it sent to him at work.  He carefully checked it over before opening the wrapping paper.  Inside was a note on top of a smallish box.  He opened the note.

Dear Mr. Jones.

I do believe this blippy dohickey belongs to one of your coworkers.  Please assure him that the being who took it from him cannot and will not be able to steal it from him again.  Also, tell him to quit staring at the rollerblading sluts and he wouldn't get jumped the next time.

Ianto gave the letter a strange look.  That was definitely not what he was expecting.

He kept reading.

You can also tell the ass that I had the broken wrist strap fixed.  I also had that limitation fixed so now it works for up to three people - the certain being who had blocked it realized that blocking it again would leave me somewhere he didn't want to deal with.  By the way, you might let him know that it takes an impression from the wearer whenever it's used.  Like our modern police cars have cameras running during traffic stops, and probably for the same reason.  I've cleared his from there.  I've cleared mine from there so he doesn't get psychic bleedover the way I did when the demon gave it to me after we trapped it trying to kill others with some supposed death ray it contains (which it doesn't, but it's very handy when you don't goof up and accidentally hit the wrong button).

You should also tell the ass to treat you better.  You're not his secretary to tempt into chasing him around his desk, Mr. Jones, unless you want to be.  You're worth more than your cuteness in your suits or your coffee making God-like fingers.  If he doesn't appreciate you, I know a few dozen people who would.  You can also remind him that being alone to save pain is dumb.  Life is pain.  Otherwise we wouldn't have proof we're alive.  Even by denying yourself that expression of life, you die a bit more each day.  Oh, before I forget, tell him even in the wrong time zone he is aging, just very slowly.  Probably around the rate of a day every two or three years.

On a more personal note, tell him his friend the Doctor said hi and said to tell him he was a major fuckup for getting mugged.  Donna said the same, but that he was adorable.  I told her he couldn't be as cute as I am and she agreed. <G>  Also, if that snarky doctor friend of yours wants to come to the US, does he like boys?  If so, does he like oral sex?  Because he's my type to put it bluntly and fairly handsome.  A bit smart.  Hellishly better than all the women in my life right now as well.  Just an offer if he'd like to take me up on it.  I'll be moving soon but it shouldn't be that hard to find me.

Do be well and smack him upside the head.  At his age, he should be able to ignore the braless, bouncy rollerblade sluts in booty shorts.  Really, don't they have stripclubs in his time zone?

Much affection and please don't panic.  I'm not going to out your program.  I've worked on a similar problem in the past that's not really related.  Do have a good day.  Xander.

Ianto folded the letter and reached for the door lock button but someone came in.  "Do you know the train and bus schedules, young man?" she asked, sounding faintly Norwegian.

"Yes, ma'am."  They did front the main office by pretending to be a tourist help office.  He dug out the schedules and handed them over with a smile.  "This one goes by most of the big commercial hotels and restaurants."  She beamed at him.  "There's the one up to the castle as well."

"Thank you, young man.  Cardiff is full of such polite, cute young men."  She walked out with, waving them at her waiting friends.

He waited until he was sure she was gone to push the button and head down to the main office.  "Team meeting," he called as he walked in.  "It's highly important."

"You're nearly panicking," Jack teased with a smile.  "Are we under attack?"

"No, but I was told to slap you around because you got mugged."  Jack glared at him.  Ianto walked into the meeting room, smiling at the others.  "Owen, this nice young man wanted to hit on you if you'd go to the US."  He tossed Jack the box once he was sitting down.  "Missing something perhaps?"

"I got knocked out," he complained, pulling out his time jumping wristband.  "How did you get it?"

"The man who got it off the being that knocked you down said it won't be able to do it again and a man of your age should be able to ignore the braless, booty shorts wearing rollerblade sluts as he called them," he said in his normally genteel voice.

"How did he know what knocked me out?"

"He said it takes an imprint, like with a cruiser's video camera."  He handed over the note.

"We need to retcon him," Owen said.

"It says he's not going to out us, that he's doing something similar," Jack told him.  He reread the letter.  "I treat you very well," he complained.

"Apparently he has higher standards," he said dryly.  "When did it go missing?"

"Earlier today."  He groaned, shaking his head.  "He probably set it off by accident."

"Apparently."  He stared at his boss.  "Do we send Owen to take one for the team since he seemed to want to get to know him better?"

"Retcon might not work if he was gone for a while," Jack admitted, looking at Owen.  "He did proposition you."  He put the letter in his shirt pocket.  "How did it get here?"

"Post."  He handed over the wrapping.  "Sent from the states."

"So that probably took a good week," Toshiko said.

Gwen nodded.  "Probably closer to two.  I had a penpal in New York when I was in primary school.  It took nine days for her to get anything from me."

"We need to find out what he did, and what he's using it for," Jack said.  "This is too dangerous to get out.  And if we see Donna, tell her she's wrong, he can't be cuter than I am."

"What do we know about him?" Toshiko asked.

"He signed his first name, Xander," Ianto said.  "Otherwise I have no idea."

"Could he be with UNIT?" Owen asked.

"If he's doing something similar and he's in the States, wouldn't he have to be with them?" Gwen asked.

"No, there's been a few rogue, semi-legal groups through the years."  He grimaced.  "We know he, now or before, had some electronics knowledge.  He said he fixed what the Doctor did to jam it.  If I could get hold of him or Donna, I'd ask," he complained.

"I'll see if Martha Jones knows him," Ianto said.  He went back upstairs to call her.  Jack was not in a good mood thanks to being mugged and the butt nibbling in that letter.

"Owen, if we find him, and he can be retcon'd, I'll let you administer it since he wanted to flirt with you," Jack said.

"That's fine.  I can flirt and dope him then walk off even if he is a bagger."  He went back to his desk.  Gwen and Toshiko worked to find the boy at their own desks.  Jack went upstairs to see if Martha had given over any information.  "Well?"

"She said hello and giggled madly."

"That's probably a bad sign," he sighed.  "How old was he?"

"Twenty-one.  He's from Southern California, and how did a demon manage to knock you out?"

Jack stiffened.  "Demons?"  He nodded.  "Oh, shit!"  He hurried back to the Hub.  He had access to some sealed files thanks to bribing someone in UNIT.  He typed in the passcode and did a name search then sent the enclosed picture to Miss Jones.  She nearly purred back.  Her email sounded very smug and did note that he was immune to retcon.  "Fuck!"

"Now?" Toshiko teased with a smile.  "In here with all the cameras?"

"I think he found him because that wasn't a happy sounding suggestion," Owen said dryly.  "Who is the mystery man?"

"An ass."  He let them read the file.  Plus the newly added note at the bottom that apparently the Initiative's profiler was a moron who had gotten half of his file inaccurate.  They all groaned.  "Martha said he's immune to Retcon.  Sorry, Owen."

"He's not a bagger," he said dryly.  "What're we doing about him?"

"I don't know."  The email beeped with a new message.  It was from Martha.

The Doctor got up to answer his cellphone.  He was not happy to be woken up this time.  He said to, bluntly, leave the boy the bloody hell alone.  Before his next bit of bad luck destroyed the universe.  Or saved it.  He wasn't sure which it might be.  Remembering Xander, it's not that far fetched.  He said he'd see you sometime in the future, Jack, and to please not meet with Xander.

He managed to keep you two apart when you guys were traveling because the one time it almost happened, the boy had told the Doctor what was going on and he decided he didn't need the paradox.  Even now.  We're going to be sending someone to recruit him into a program that we don't work with, and absolutely hate, but could use him desperately since apparently he's had a gift for languages and sucking up spectral resonances.  Damn kid walked into a cemetery once and we nearly spent a week getting all them out of him.  He kept wanting one of the former children's dolls.  Even the Doctor wanted to give him a hug for it.

Anyway, I called him and he was most happy you got it today before you *needed* it for something.  He said the spectral imager was in the band, not the main body.  He also said it was fairly easy to unblock.  Only needed a jumper wire.  The Doctor will have to work harder next time to block it on you apparently.  You might tell someone that if they need the Sword of Gadrius again, he's got it in his room.  His newly former girlfriend wailed and moaned while we were talking.  She's a former vengeance demon.  Hates you because no one wants to curse you for being a bastard and dumping them.

He sends his love, asks that if you're going to send someone to retcon or recon him, to please make it Owen because he fancies him, and to treat Ianto better.  A man like that should be worshiped for more than his coffee-making skills or how he looks in a suit.  That if you didn't watch out, he might steal them both from you if they wanted.  He also said to tell you Spike is not Captain Hart, just the bastard offspring from when he loitered too long.

Anyway, have a better day, Jack.
Martha Jones.

"Vengeance demons?" Gwen asked.  "They're real?"

"Fairly rare," Jack said grimly.  "More open about two centuries ago."  He groaned.  That was not good!  "Toshiko, see if you can find the spectral imager, let's see if it has a backup in it."  She took the wristband to carefully examine and scan.  He looked at Owen.  "I still might send you."  He walked off pouting.  Mentally he was swearing.  This was horrible!  If the kid got possessed by his spectral image, then there was no telling what the kid knew.  Or how this would change the timeline.  Though, the Doctor having taken a personal interest in him was probably the best sign that the kid wasn't going to screw up too many things.  He hoped.  Especially not with his memories!  Though he wondered how deep they went when they scanned him.  He looked up from his sulking when Ianto walked in.  "New information?"

"Martha sent you a private message.  Toshiko told me to tell you that."  Jack opened it and put in the password, read it, and burst out laughing.  "Good news?"

"Slightly better."  He closed it and looked at him.  "Can we find anything else out on him?"

"His town is horrible.  It's got a very high death rate.  The police department there suspect him of many things but can't seem to find any proof.  Though I'm not sure if that's because they don't seem to ever solve anything."

"Really?"  Ianto pulled up the information he had found.  "I know that town.  No, that's not what's going on.  Hold on, Xander?"  He typed in something and groaned.  "Little fucker," he muttered under his breath.

"You do know him?"

"Heard of him and his team.  He's backup on the team actually."  He leaned back.  "I'll let Martha recruit him."  He sent her a message about it.  She sent back a smirk.  "Good!  Though I still want to know what he did.  Toshiko, anything?" he called.

"Yes.  Quite a lot.  It's eighty percent done downloading."  He went down to confiscate that file so she wouldn't see any of his more personal memories if they were in there.  This was going to be amusing if his reputation had been right.  Probably a bit tragic but Ianto wanted to see so he wouldn't mind him at least leaning closely.

"He's right you know," he said quietly.  "Pain is how you tell you're alive, just like every other emotion."  He started the replay, tipping his head to the side.  "He doesn't look that old."

"He's not."  They watched.  Jack didn't want to admit it but the kid was like a mini him sometimes.  "Languages, huh?"

"From what it caught he already knew a number of ancient ones.  Why?"

"Research."  He pulled up another file.  "A secret society in England.  He works with one of their people."

Ianto read it over.  "I've run into these cranks before.  They tried to recruit me."

"They're not cranks, just assholes," Jack said bluntly.  "He worked with one of the girls."

"Oh, dear."

"Oh, yeah.  There's a *perfect* program for him to be part of too.  They could use those skills and his military skills too."  He smiled.  "I'm sure he'll have a lot of fun."

"Probably not."

"He'll have a whole base to irritate."

"Then perhaps if he's anything like Owen."  He walked off shaking his head.

Jack sat back to rewatch it.  The kid had *horrible* luck but it was funny in too many points.  Plus he never knew Donna had a birthmark.


Xander looked up at the man who came up to him that night on patrol.  "What?  And you do know it's not real wise to be sneaking up on people at night?  They think you're trying to mug them."

"You know who I am?"

"I got warned someone was going to be coming to recruit me heavily."

"Here I am," he said smugly.  "Doctor Daniel Jackson."

"Xander Harris, but you knew that."  He shook his hand.  "First, gotta say, military things are going to be bad for me.  I'm very bi, very open, and I don't hide it for anyone.  I also don't really respect the military after their little farce of a group that had been here."

"That wasn't us.  We're doing the same sort of important work you are."

"Yeah," he said dryly, throwing a stake and hitting the running vampire Buffy was chasing.

"How did you do that!" she demanded.

"Possession."  She growled and stomped off when he pointed at their 'guest'.  He looked at him again.  "I'm not going to hide who and what I am for anyone.  I won't tell anyone anything.  Mostly because I don't want to hear them complain and bitch."

"You're twenty-one.  How did you learn so many languages?"


"Beyond that?  I'm told there's a story?"

"I managed to rescue a blippy dohicky from someone who had mugged a time traveler."

"Oh, no," he moaned, taking off his glasses to stare at him.  "Please tell me you didn't create a paradox?"

"Hell no!  I know better than that.  I'm a sci-fi fan," he said dryly.  He glanced around then at him.  "I did do a lot of talking to some very smart people trying to figure out how I had accidentally set it off.  And how to get back here to be nagged by my friends."

Daniel nodded.  "How many languages did you speak before then?"

"One.  Giles said less than that since I'm from here and speak my age.  Reading, I read about five thanks to our research."

"Why?  I've read the files but it didn't mention that."

"Yeah, they were kinda idiots about some things.  Do you know what the Watchers Council is?"

"Vaguely and what I heard disgusts me."

"One's here."

"Oh, damn," he muttered.  "Okay."  He looked at the boy, who looked very amused.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Yeah, the demon behind you seems to think you smell good.  She's in heat though."

Daniel looked at her.  "I will zat you," he told her.  She pouted and sniffed at Xander before walking off to pounce Willow since she smelled nice.  He looked at the boy.  "Is it always like that?"

"Sometimes.  Sometimes it's an apocalypse."  He smiled at his friends returning.  "I cleared it already."

"How?" Giles asked.  "And who is this?"

"This is Doctor Jackson.  He wants me to go build things for his project.  Apparently my skills came highly recommended."

"How did you clear the problem?"

"Not that hard since I was kinda talking to one of your brethren at the time."

"Were they here?" Buffy demanded.

"No.  Remember that blue thing that gave me the wristband and told me it was a horrible thing?"

"Yes.  Did you nearly destroy us all with it?" she demanded.

"No.  Not in the least.  It was a blippy dohickey."  She groaned.  "I got someone to help me clear it."  He smiled.  "But now I do know more things about some subjects.  Including architecture."

"Whatever," she sighed.  "Are you going to be more freaky again?"

Xander stared at her.  "Why would it matter to you?" he shot back.  "Not like you pay attention to things or you'd realize that you were flashing nipple."  She looked and blushed, fixing it.  He looked at Giles, who was staring at him.  "What?"

"That was uncalled for."

"Really?  How many languages did I read by graduation, Giles?"

"English I would assume."

"Has it escaped your attention that we researched in the same books you did and they're mostly in Latin, Greek, and some are in Sumerian?  Including the one from last week that I was quoting out of?  The same as I did the last time that thing showed up?"  Giles looked horrified.  "Yeah, had to find a translation dictionary," he said dryly.  "Thank God for Amazon."

"What does the rainforest have to do with it?" Giles demanded.

Daniel coughed.  "It's a very large online mega-store that started out as a bookstore.  It has one of the largest catalogs in the world."

"Oh.  I don't use those dratted machines."

"I fully understand.  I prefer handwriting out my translations.  Xander, can we speak in private or should you not deal with the thing behind you?"

Xander looked then at him and shrugged.  "He's staring at Buffy's breasts again.  Right, Spike?"

"Yeah.  Nicely see-through there, Smuffy."  She stomped off in a huff.  He looked at Daniel.  "Wanker."

Xander looked at him.  "Non-Initiative, military, linguist wanker, Spike, get it right."

"Eggheads," he complained, shuddering as he walked off.  He could blackmail Willow with the way the demon was trying to hump her.

Xander looked at Daniel.  "Looks like we're pretty alone since Giles is in 'oh dear god' land again.  There's no way in hell the military would take me, Doctor Jackson.  I'm no longer willing to bend my personality.  If I feel like flirting, I do.  Men or women."  Giles squeaked and went pale.  Xander stared at him.  "What?  I'm not allowed to be bi since Willow's gay?" he sneered.  Giles huffed off too.  "Good!"  He looked at Daniel again.  "Even if I could help, and I have heard underground rumors about you before I got hold of the blippy dohickey, they'd never accept me."

"We're a pretty open program on that circumstance," he offered.  "We know we have a few openly gay officers who're in committed things."

"I'm no longer dating my former fiancee," he said dryly.  "That means I will probably be flirting with the fine man and woman flesh you guys have.  I doubt you guys are that open."

"You can't hold it in during work hours?"

"I believe in work *hours* unless there's a necessity.  One of the major rules is that we take time to enjoy ourselves before we burn out."

"I can understand that," he agreed.  "Though it does seem that you've burned some bridges tonight."

"No, I just got fed up with being treated like a zeppo."  Willow stomped over.  "Good, go give Giles a sensitivity lecture."

"Why?' she demanded.

"Because he decided to be horrified that I'm bi."

She snorted.  "No you're not!"

"Yeah, I am."  He smiled and pulled up his t-shirt to show off a small tattoo.  "My last one."  She gaped then shook her head.  He smirked and nodded.  He let his t-shirt fall.  "Yeah, I am, and I'm tired of hiding things.  If you want to be horrified, I don't care."  She burst out crying.  "Oh, no!  Not going to work.  Spike!"  He came over.  "Give her to Tara.  Let her sob on her girlfriend."

"A bit callus," he taunted with an evil smirk.

"Yeah, because I'm tired of being treated like we treat you."  Spike growled.  Xander stared him down.  "Haven't they?"

"True," he admitted.  "At least you treat me like I could break bad."

"I know you can. You're manipulative enough to get a minion to do it for you," he said dryly.  "She's in shock because I've had boyfriends."

"Could tell that.  You reappeared smelling like sperm," he said grimly.

"Greek bathhouse," Xander said dryly.  Spike shuddered, walking the witch off.

"Old Greece or later Greece?" Daniel asked.

"Later.  Athens for the fifth time, but spread out over a few decades."

"Learn anything else?" he asked with a smile.

"Some.  Had a lot of very interesting talks.  I even finally learned math.  It only took three thousand years," he said dryly.

"Come with me.  Meet the general at least.  Jack's my former team leader.  You'll be able to tell him everything and he'll be able to see if you can fit into the program, even if you do flirt in the office."

Xander looked around.  Then he shrugged.  "Fine.  If I don't, are you going to have Miller over there trying to hide pounce me and put me in cuffs?"

"He's not our doing.  UNIT sent him."

"UNIT's a bunch of fuckheads," he said quietly.

"What blippy dohickey did you get hold of?  A tardis?"

Xander smiled.  "I met him.  Really interesting guy who moped sometimes.  Though I can understand it.  It sucks to be him."  They walked off.  "Miller, if I had wanted to make people panic, I would've kept it," he called.

"Don't even threaten, Harris," Miller complained, coming out of his hiding spot.

Xander smirked at him.  "If I hadn't been such a geek, we'd be living in the United Empire of Xander.  Being the concubine of Caesar can be that way."  Graham Miller lost all color in his face.  "Good thing I'm a sci-fi geek, huh?"  He nodded quickly.  "Like I said, if I had wanted to do something, I would have.  Since you guys had *no* realistic idea who I am or what I'm like, even with your idiot profiler, well.... oh well.  I didn't have to give it back to him."

"He called our doctor and nearly gave her a heart attack."

"I heard Martha was there.  She's a nice lady with a bit of steel when you piss her off.  The Doc said Rose was the same way.  Donna was fun though."  Graham whimpered.  "Now, go be a good soldier *somewhere* *else*.  Threaten me, watch me do something stupid that'll make you guys wish you were dead."

"You don't have magic," he complained.

"I always have, Graham.  Willow blocked it for me.  It was very nice of her, don't you think?"  He smiled sweetly.  Graham took a step back.  "I spent *years* studying it.  I even finally learned the purpose of a simile."  Graham turned and ran.  "Tell Riley I said to stay there," he called after him.  "I haven't had twinkies in a while."

Daniel coughed.  "You don't like him?"

"I hated his former project and he's got a way to earn his way back to the level of human."  They walked off again.  Buffy had changed shirts because they ran into her.  "I just made Graham Miller flee," he told her as they walked past her.  "He's scared that I haven't had any sugary goodness in days."

"Who else did you scare?" she asked snidely.

"Willow and Giles because apparently me being bi is more wrong than our lesbian friends," he said, making her growl.  "Don't believe me?  She burst out crying.  He walked off stunned stupid."

"I don't care what you sleep with."

"Good.  Then you can have Anya since she decided she didn't like me being smart now.  She decided me actually learning the math I should've learned in school was bad."

Buffy snorted.  "How long did it take you?"

"Years.  The same as the magic stuff did."  He stared at her.  "The nice mage I ran into took all sorts of Willow spells off me where she blocked it."  She groaned.  "Giles was horrified I actually did research when we were researching.  So I'm tired.  How about you?"

"I need popcorn," she decided.  "Any other good news?"

"Yeah, the demon in heat tried for Willow's butt crack."

She let out a small smile.  "That had to be cute."  She walked off.  "How many more tonight?"

"Six.  Restview."

"Thanks for remembering.  You going to talk to him?"

"Yeah.  They sent Graham to arrest me if I didn't.  UNIT is really pissy."

She snorted.  "The Council calls them pussies."  She shrugged and walked off.  "Have some sugar to improve your mood, Xander."

"Sure, you go extricate Anya from my apartment?"

"I can do that."  She went to do that instead of patrolling.  It'd be more fun anyway.  Plus she'd learn a lot more of what was wrong with Xander from her.

Xander smirked at him.  "Yeah, we're like that as a group."

"I've met others."  He led him to the local IHOP, sitting him down next to Jack.  "Jack, this is Mr. Harris.  Xander, this is General Jack O'Neill."

"I've heard of you," he said, holding out a hand.  "I'm still flamingly bi, hit on people, and have a smartass gene that I'm not willing to give up."

Jack shook his hand.  "I don't care as long as we don't catch you."

"Gay bashing?" he asked bluntly.  "Uncomfy coworkers?  I seem to have inherited the spectral image's libido and he's hornier than I was at sixteen."

Jack coughed but nodded.  "Make it more subtle than in the hallway.  Make sure you pick your targets; people who might be receptive or who absolutely need it to be loosened up.  What do you know about Ancient?"

"Which version?"

Jack stared at him.  "There's more than one version?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, the Greek pantheon used a slightly different version.  Local words and things."

"That may be those words we weren't sure of," Daniel said to Jack.

"Could be," Jack agreed.   "What have you heard about us?"

"More than enough to respect the unit but I still don't trust the military after the Initiative crap."

"I don't blame you," Jack admitted.  "Especially not with what their notes had on you."

"Yeah, all wrong even then."

"I figured it wasn't very good since they never talked to your girlfriend."  He leaned his elbows on the table.  "I can offer you a job that'll drive you insane."

"They might need me for apocalypses."

"They might," Jack agreed.  "But I can exchange you for two or three grunts who had to retire due to lesser injuries and burn out."

"They'll have the same thing here."

"Maybe but it'd give her occasional backup and for the really bad things."

Xander considered it.  "You'd have to talk to her about that.  We're wary of new people."

"I would be too," Daniel agreed.  "How many languages do you read now?"

"Something like thirty-five.  I think."  He shrugged.  "Full immersion was a bitch when you don't know how to ask where the porta-potty is."

"I can definitely relate," Daniel admitted with a small smile.  "Think you can get free of your job?"

"Relatively easily.  The boss's wife works here.  Hey, Gladys?"  She looked up then came over to refill their coffee cups.  "These nice guys want me to come work on their out-sourced construction crew for base housing."

"Wow.  That's a great job, Xander.  Does it pay better?"

He looked at Jack.  "Relatively.  It's based on military pay grades, ma'am.  At the least he'd make E-5 pay."

"Would Anya like that?" she asked him.

He shrugged.  "She decided to fuss that I've been learning something."

"Shoot, Xander.  I knew she was freaky."

"Yup.  She even threw out my hohos."

She gave him a hug around the head.  "I know you like your chocolate, sugar.  You guys eating or just sipping?"

"Probably just sipping," Xander admitted with a smile.  "Payday's tomorrow."

She laughed.  "Want me to tell my boy?"

Xander looked at Daniel, who smiled.  "Give him a head's up I'll probably be taking it."

She nodded.  "I can do that."  She dropped a kiss on his hair and strolled off.  "Let me know if you boys want food."

"Yes, ma'am," Xander agreed.  He looked at them.  "UNIT's coming if I don't?" he guessed, speaking quietly.

"Most likely you'd be helping Martha," Daniel sighed, staring at him.

"I liked Martha, she's sweet, but she won't let me flirt.  It sucks.  Anya's loud and blunt.  Apparently bluntness is contagious," Xander quipped.

Jack smiled.  "You'll fit in well.  Half the people on our base are sarcastic and smartasses."  Xander beamed at him for that.  "What?"

"His type," Daniel told him.  Xander nodded.  "So?"

"Pay me better than an E-5 so I can afford the sudden desire for new books?"

"You'll have on-base housing," Daniel offered.  "That saves you a lot of money."

"If I could have six weeks I'd have money but I'd need a lot of bookcases," Xander said dryly.

"Danny's office is *filled* with books leaning in piles that should fall on top of him," Jack said with a smile.

"Why would you need six weeks?" Daniel asked, ignoring the slight to his office.

"I have a few souvenirs stashed around some places.  Getting it moved back will take that long."

"Please don't suddenly 'find' pristine artifacts," Daniel moaned.

"I'd never sell them.  Maybe the coin collection but nothing like my books.  Or the lounging couch I picked up in Athens.  Or the togas from Rome.  Or the oil from Rome," he admitted.  "I need to get some of that remade."  Daniel stared at him.  He smiled.  "I decided I'd rather remember, Doctor Jackson."

"Warehouses full?" he guessed.

"Small storage areas.  The magic time was one of the first places I blipped into by accident and he nearly freaked out from my native energy signature."  He flicked a hand in the air.  "All this."

"I know there's a good bit of energy built up around here," Jack said.  "Weapons?"

"Some.  I like weapons.  Swords pretty.  Though I am more fond of battle axes."

"Hear anything about ours, kid?" Jack asked.

"Yes, and confiscated one from something using it on a someone.  It's local."

"Wonderful."  He smiled.  "Bring it with you."

"I can do that.  I need Spike to get me a passport."

"You need a legal one," Daniel corrected.

Xander stared at him.  "I'm only paid up until the end of next month.  It'll take too long and I only need mine updated to the new standard."

Daniel stared at him.  "They'll catch that."

"No they won't.  That's what minor fascinations are for.  That's how three assassins get through customs without being caught all the time."

"I want names," Jack ordered.  Xander took his pen and wrote them on a napkin.  "Thank you.  Any way to tell?"

"Yeah, use a magic dampening system since they all go through Seattle.  Willow can help with that."  He smiled.

"You're so getting a nice little office without any windows, kid."

"Cool.  Will you mind my scaley friend?"

"Iguana?" Jack guessed.

"Baby dragon."  He beamed.  "His species isn't invented yet."

"Yeah," he said dryly, nodding slightly.  "We'll have to see."

"Okay."  He beamed.  "Cool.  So I can go gather my stuff, pack here?  Go...."

"We'll pick you up in Denver in eight weeks?  How big of a truck will you need?  We can help you find a decent apartment off base if you want."

"I've got three u-store it bays.  Small ones.  My couch is going in my office one way or another.  I can manage it in the office.  So just a medium U-Haul?"

"I can do that," he decided.  "Having it shipped work?  We do that for foreign science geeks."

Xander considered it.  "Yeah, probably.  I can arrange that with whoever.  Because a few have shielded areas and my scaley baby will pout if I don't get him soon."

"Sure," Jack agreed.  "And if you give us too much trouble, you're going to Atlantis."

Xander nodded.  "Cool!"  He beamed.  "Armand will love it.  He loves water."

Jack moaned, shaking his head.  "Keep him out of trouble, out of any ally's way, and don't let him bother anyone else, kid."

"I won't."

"Good!"  He smiled.  "Need anything in particular for your office?"

"I can find the stuff to do the expansion spell."

"Fine."  He nodded.  "Will it bother anything like hallway cameras?"


"Even better."

"If it works that well I might ask for a small one so I can put in more bookcases," Daniel said with a smile.

"That'll be fine," Xander agreed.  "I'll get enough for three just in case someone else gets jealous."

"Wonderful.  So.... what's left to discuss?"

"Anya.  I did dump her, well she dumped me because I had suddenly learned things, but she'll try to track me down sometime I'm sure.  I'd like to remain friends."

"We don't mind but if she gets annoying we reserve the right to zat her," Jack said bluntly.

"Sure.  I'm sure she might like that.  Being a former demon can be that way.  I can come back if Buffy needs me?"

"Yup.  If we can get you here in time."

Xander smiled.  "That may never be a problem."

"Don't you dare," Jack ordered.  "We've had enough problems with parallel worlds and quantum mirrors."

"Ewww.  No, not my thing."

"Good!"  He stared at him.  "With permission only."

"Yes, General."

"Thank you, kid.  Now, anything else?"  Xander shook his head.  "Good.  Go sleep, go pack, we'll have paperwork for you to do when you get back."

"I can do that."  He drained his coffee, leaving a nice tip.  "Tell him I liked working for him, Gladys, and I'll pick up my last check tomorrow."

"I sure will.  Be safe, Xander."   He winked then walked out.  She pulled out her cellphone to call her husband.  He'd pout but oh well.

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