Not Always In Our Plans.
Olivia looked around the park with her daddy's cousin/her uncle, which
confused her but he had the nice voice like her daddy did so of course
they were related somehow. "Oooh," she said, starting to dance and
point. "Pony! Pony!" she started to chant, getting louder
and louder each time.
George cleared his throat. "No need to shout, Olivia. We can
go have a pony ride." She beamed at him. "You know, at home
Grandma has a few of them. They're really lazy right now because
they don't have anyone little to give rides to." He got her into
line, and she waited patiently for a nearly-three-year-old. He was
impressed with how the two were raising her. He and his cousins,
especially her father, would've already been in trouble and threatened
with losing the rides. He paid the fee and helped her into the
saddle. "Now, hold on here," he said with a point. "And
squeeze your knees together so you don't move." He walked beside
her. She was beaming and a bit wiggly but she'd learn
better. When it was done she leapt at him, making him catch
her. "We'll see if there's more pony rides around,
princess." He smiled and took her to play.
"Hi, Officer," she called, waving at him and smiling. "Good boy you."
He smirked at her. "Good morning, Miss Rosenburg."
"I'm her uncle," he said firmly.
"We know. Those of us who watch Harris know you're her father's
cousin." He grinned. "Have fun playing, Olivia."
"You have good day too," she chirped. "Pony?" she asked with a point.
"No, I'm a bit big for pony rides." He grinned and walked on.
Her uncle looked at her. "It was a good idea to give him a happy
idea for the day." She kissed him on the cheek then wiggled down
and ran over to help a young tree that was feeling sad. "Not in
public," he hissed, pulling her away. "No magic in public, young
She pouted. "But it's sad and it needed a hug." A few watching parents laughed. "I get hugs when I'm sad."
"Yes you do." He took her to the playground and let her
loose. He got a whole hour before something strange happened,
which was about normal when he watched Olivia by himself. A demon
with two kids paused and stared at her. He watched her.
"They'd never care as long as you're peaceful," he said quietly.
She smiled and let the mostly human looking kids run and play too.
Olivia was the only kid out there and she didn't care. They were
new friends to her. The mother sat on the next bench. He
grinned. "I'm her cousin George."
"It's good she has family during this trying time. Though Tara does a good job making her look girlish."
"She's very concerned how pretty she is." The mother giggled and
shook her head. He watched. The kids were doing good.
One slipped and Olivia gave him a hug and kissed his booboo better then
went back to playing. "What was that about?" he muttered, staring
"She's got a small healing gift. I've seen her do it with Tara's
papercuts at the library." She smiled at him. "She's a very
kind and loving little girl."
"She is, yeah." He considered that. Healing was a better
thing than magic in his mind but still not something she should do in
public probably. He heard her squeal Sam's name and waved at
him. He strolled over carrying a bag. "Out at work?" he
"No. Laundry." He rolled his eyes. "We had a super-goo
shooting thing show up at the poker hall last night to eat his intended
for cheating." The demon mother giggled. Sam grinned at
her. "Xander's washer is good but commercial ones are
stronger." He sat down. "She good today?"
"She went into girlish glee at the ponies. We got her a
ride." Sam grinned at that. "She tried to hug a sad tree and
kissed one of them's booboos better."
"When the idiot law firm tried to take over the daycare to get her, they
had her in a corner all day for kissing some of the other kids in
there. Which is when Xander threw an absolute fit about Wolfram
and Hart trying for her again."
"Who're they?" he asked.
"The evil ones' law firm," the mother said.
"They're known to cause problems for power," Sam agreed. "Xander
about called out a hunt on them for daring to come near Olivia."
The mother beamed. "Not that we disagreed. If they didn't
have a lot of people with soul contracts we'd be very happy to
help." Olivia ran over to hand him her sweater then ran
back. "It's good they managed to put her in a thicker shirt.
Earlier she wanted one of her tanktops because Dean had the heat up
while he worked on something."
Her uncle shook his head. "She's adorable."
Sam grinned at him. "One of Peter's friends showed up to ask
Xander questions about the poker circuit's weapons pipeline. She
scowled at him the whole polite, nice talk. He just wanted to know
how they were using goats to smuggle them and things. When Peter
asked her why she was scowling at his friend, she said he might make her
or her Uncle Xander unpretty and that was bad of him." He
snickered, shaking his head. "We're considering it an infection by
Buffy before Willow gave birth since she dances like the girls on MTV
"She certainly didn't get that from Daniel," he agreed.
"Or Willow according to Tara. Xander said it had to come from
Buffy because she nearly even had him booty popping at one point in
time." The demon mother cackled. "Dean and I figured it
helped with club hunts." She nodded, going to use the park
restroom. He watched, seeing a few evil looks from mothers around
them. "Her people are perfectly harmless," he noted just loudly
enough. "And if you tried to hurt her for being a decent mother,
I'd have to step in." One stared at him and they all decided to
stomp off and complain that demons were using the playground. Sam
relaxed. "Anyway." He grinned when the mother came
out. "If they try shit, I'll help to make sure you and your kids
are all right."
"Thank you, Mr. Winchester."
"Not a problem. Did you see that Xander's writing kid's books?"
"I hadn't." She settled in to look that up on her phone. She giggled, smiling at him. "That's sweet!"
"Olivia needed stuff explained." He grinned back at the officer
stomping their way. "The kids and mom are perfectly harmless."
"Who's the other one?" the officer asked. Olivia looked over. "Oh, it's you. Doesn't Harris not want...."
"Only the harmful ones like the law firm," Sam said firmly. "These
are nice, peaceful, decent other dimensional natives who are enjoying
"That's fine then. Nothing left on there? Not to be rude but one of them was complaining about slime residue."
Sam looked back at them. "No, Dean shot that the other night for
hitting on him. Their slime's poisonous to us after an intense
high." The officer shuddered. He looked at the other
mothers. "Really, there's a majority of demons that just
*are*. They're not evil, don't try takeover bids, don't hurt or
eat people, none of that. It's the twenty percent that does those
things that give the rest a bad name." He whistled and
waved. Olivia and one of the kids came over. He pointed at
one's daughter. "What grade are you in?"
"First," she chirped. Her mother gave her a bad look.
"I'm betting this little guy is in kindergarten?" he asked. He
beamed and nodded. His smile showed a missing tooth.
He looked at her. "He's not a mean type." She came over to
talk to him about kindergarten. She missed all the fun stuff in
there. He babbled back and they went to play together. Sam
smiled at the mother. "See, a lot aren't mean. If they are,
that's why there's guys like my family and Xander. A lot of them
aren't ever going to be evil. They're just like you only their
realm or dimension made them grow up looking different. Like
The mother huffed. "Her father was nearly eaten by a vampire the other night."
"Vampires aren't really demons. They're infected by one but
they're mobile corpses so they're like zombies with a working
brain." She shuddered. He shrugged. "It is.
Though, where was he? I'll let Faith and Kinella know." She
named the restaurant and he texted it to them. "Kinella said that
she got a few down there last night. There's apparently a pack
that got forced away from one of the colleges by Faith thinning them
down." He grinned at her. "They'll go take another look
"Thank you. They don't have any residue or anything?"
"No. You know how you tell the ones that sling slime and have
residue? They mostly don't have noses." The mothers all
stared at him.
The demon mother thought about it. "I only know one species
without a nose that's actually not evil," she realized. "They have
eye stalks and little hairs on them to detect scent. They tend to
work in the sewers to help find pockets of building methane."
"Dean owes a kitten to one of them," Sam said with a grin. "He
wins against everyone but him." Olivia's uncle shook his
head. "The poker circuit is very peaceful and nice people for the
most part. Plus a really good source of information when bad
things move into town."
Olivia bounced over, kissing Sam on the cheek then grinned at the other
kids. "You can come play. I don't bite most of the
time." They ran over to play too. She kissed Sam on the
cheek again. "Ice cream?" she begged, batting her big eyes at him.
He kissed her on the nose with a grin. "No. That's not
cute." He grinned brighter. "Try that one on Dad, it works
on him." She cackled and ran off. He shook his head,
grinning at the parents. "She's so got Dad wrapped around her
fingers. He's claimed her as a grandchild and is teaching her
Latin." The officer and demon mother snickered. "He bought
her a foam staff and a nerf crossbow system so now she uses it to ambush
him in the mornings."
"Is that good for her?" her uncle asked.
"Yeah. Very good for her. And she quit chasing the
cats. Peter helps her with her baby golf set so she has a better
swing than Xander - the cats love to chase the balls. Xander had
to replace the plastic sword because she was pretending to be Xena and
broke it on the porch railing up to the pool."
"She's too little," the demon mother said.
Sam nodded. "For right now it's all play but with the last move by
Wolfram and Hart, he and Dad are getting hyper protective.
Especially since some former agents showed up to try to menace Tara and
Olivia about Peter. I'm told they did eventually find someone to
change them back from iguanas." He looked at the worried looking
uncle. "We want her to subtly have an idea if something should
happen. She can't always tell muggers 'bad you' and yell at
them. She's got a few bullies in daycare pouting because she
picked back and Tara had to talk to her about that. She's a normal
girl for the most part. But like anyone with security
He nodded. "That's a point ta consider. Is that why Xander won't let me take her to Daniel's Ma's house?"
"That and it's in Ireland," he said dryly. "She's too little for
that. He's also worried that she'll try something and try to keep
her like all those stories in the press."
"I can see Auntie doing something like that," he admitted. "I'm trying to talk them into coming for a visit."
"Xander said he'd help make arrangements. Olivia, don't you dare,"
he called. She paused, staring at the stray dog. "Remember,
stray dogs can hurt you. You don't know if it's injured or
sick." He got up and walked over, sitting beside where she was
standing. "Officer, can you get someone to pick it up? It's a
bit thin but doesn't look too sick." He called that in. He
sat Olivia in his lap so she couldn't shift any closer. "It's all
right, puppy. We're good. You're okay," he said calmly and
quietly. The dog whined. He stood Olivia up. "Go to
your uncle." She ran back to him. Sam shifted closer,
holding out a hand. "Sniff?" The dog growled. "Okay,
or not." He shifted closer again, letting the dog sniff at
him. "Good dog. Very good dog."
"Mr. Winchester," the officer ordered.
"I'm not. Just trying to keep it calm." He stared at it and
it looked away. "Good dog. Very good dog." Someone
came up behind the dog and he nodded. "Just stay a bit calm, it's
all good," he crooned. The dog snapped at the ASPCA worker but she
got him in one of the ropes-on-a-staff-things they used. "He
growled when I held out a hand for him to sniff."
"He's probably been abandoned. Nice catch, sir." Sam grinned
as he stood up and walked back to the playground. "C'mon, pup,
we'll get you some food." She fed it a treat and it was
happier. Still growling. "Maybe you'll need
quarantine." She walked it off, taking it back to her truck.
Olivia looked over. "It sick, has booboos," she called. "Kiss booboos better?" she asked her uncles.
"They have vets to do that for animals," Sam assured her with a
smile. "They'll help his booboos." She nodded and got a hug
then went back to playing.
"Aww," one of the human mothers sighed. "She kisses booboos better?"
"All the time." Sam grinned. "Dean got himself making her a
salad and she fussed over the cut the whole time until it stopped
bleeding. When he fell in the shower because she snuck in and
squealed at him, she fussed at him until he was better. She picked
pretty things for him, made him read to her, cuddled and patted him,
then when he was allowed out of bed she showed him their morning
stretches. He's so spoiled by her."
"She snuck into your brother's bathroom?" her uncle asked.
"They were just out of the pool and this was last summer. Xander
had her in his room after cleaning her up so he could shower and she
couldn't get into trouble. She did her little trick on the
doorknob and went to sneak up on Dean. He slipped in the shower at
Her uncle shook his head. "That's not proper."
"When she can open the doorknobs, even the locked ones, that becomes a
bit moot," Sam said dryly. "Beyond that, frosted shower
doors. Then again she's always fussed over Dean. Just like
the kitty that adopted Dean does."
Her uncle shook his head. "Was she trying to peek?"
"I think she was more going to encourage him to hurry up since he had said the magic 'zoo' word."
"Ah." He nodded. "That's something a little kid does
then." She panted as she ran over. He let her have his
bottle of water, watching her gulp it then go back to play. "Why
is she so tired?"
Sam stared at her. "Olivia, who has the booboo?" he called.
She pointed. That mother gasped and ran over. "Show her
where?" She touched something and the mother choked down a sob,
hugging her before taking her kid off. He waved her over and she
came to get a hug. "Nice job, but tell us before you do
anything. That could hurt you. If we know we can help.
All right?" She nodded, kissing him on the tip of his nose
again. "Good girl. Remember, you have to tell us." She
nodded and ran back. "She's so going to the doc's tomorrow," he
said, texting Tara.
"She was healing something?" the officer asked quietly.
Sam nodded, staring at her. "Yeah, I think she was trying to."
"That's one special little girl."
Sam grinned. "It had to come from Daniel since Willow's a pouty
thing." He smiled and left them alone. The mothers were
calmed down and Olivia was happier again. Sam looked at the
worried uncle. "Babies with magic often do things like that.
We've all talked to her about not doing it in public. Sometimes
though she's got great empathy and feels that it's necessary. When
she's older she'll learn to be more subtle. Usually when Dad's around
she'll check on him before she does anything."
He nodded. "I like that. Getting her notice for that...."
Sam smiled and shook his head. "Most everyone knows she's
magically active and Tara has had her helping with some plants.
Like in the rose garden the other day."
"I saw that on tv," the demon mother agreed. "Frankly, most
magically active children would do something like that. It's
usually how you find out that they have the gift. Tara's teaching
her when and how to use it subtly and for good things."
He nodded. "My whole family's wary of the magic stuff but it's good that she's being a good girl with it."
Sam gave him a shoulder nudge. "Even Tara sometimes slips and does
it in public. Usually to heal a plant that needs it."
He grinned. "That's sweet of her, yeah." Olivia came
over. "Let me get you some more water. You stay here with
your Uncle Sam for two minutes." She nodded, letting him walk off
to get her some more water from a vender cart. He brought back two
bottles. She drank one and went back to playing.
Sam stared at her. "Olivia, let's go potty," he called. She
pouted. "You can come right back but you should probably go potty
soon. Remember, being in dirty diapers makes you less
pretty." She ran for the bathroom. He looked at the uncle,
who looked scared. "We're used to it." Sam went to
help her and got her cleaned up then back out there. She was happy
and it was good. Sam sat down again. "She's slowly learning
the potty training stuff."
One of the mothers looked over. "Bribes."
"We tried that. It didn't work at all. Unless we buy her a new book each time she uses it."
Her uncle stared at her. "She's already got half a library full."
"Actually, most of them are library books and the rest we weed out every
six months with her help so they can go to other kids in the library."
He grinned. "Tara's very socially responsible."
"It helped with the clothes stuff too because someone taught her what
Sak's was," Xander said as he walked up to them. "I got a call
from the pound. The dog has rabies."
"She wanted to heal it," Sam said, looking up at him.
"That's what they said." They shared a look. "And I got a
call about her picking out a pea-sized bone tumor?" Sam
nodded. "We'll talk about telling the adults about that instead of
wearing herself out." He went to break her concentration and make
her squeal. He said something in her ear, making her give up the
magic and play for a bit longer. He flopped down on the grass
beside Sam. "When you're tired, we'll go practice putting so the
cats can chase the golf balls." She ran over with a squeal to
pounce her other uncle, who smiled and let her have the water to drink
and her sweater. They went home to do that. With a stop for
some fruit since they were out at home.
"She eats strawberries?" her uncle asked.
"Yeah, most fruits. She doesn't like star fruit or papayas at the
moment," Sam said with a grin. "Plus she adores salads and most
veggies. She doesn't like squash or white potatoes. She
hasn't figured out the other types are still potatoes too."
"The only time she eats white potatoes is in the occasional bit of fries
I bake for her or the rare trip to the fast food place because I need
to grocery shop," Xander said. "She eats anything you put in front
of her for the most part. What she doesn't like John taught us
how to camouflage."
Sam nodded. "He's still making veggie meatballs for her and Xander."
Xander nodded. "They still taste strange too."
Daniel's cousin shook his head. "Most kids hate vegetables."
"She's learned how to plant her girl food and help it grow. Since
she loves plants, she loves to eat plants like her Auntie Tara," Xander
said with a shrug.
Sam cackled. "I can't believe that Tara taught her that way."
"I can. It's how she keeps trying to talk me into eating more
vegetables. I tend toward fruit." They went home and Olivia
got her golf set. Xander got his putter and a few balls.
They both worked on their putts, which meant the cats had things to
chase after. That pleased her greatly. She cackled at the
kitties, trying to rescue the balls so she could hit them again.
"Take the soccer ball up to the pool," Dean ordered when she nearly
brained him. She got that and her uncle, taking them both up
there. He relaxed. Xander grinned at him. "Trying to
"Yup." He grinned. "I thought golf was boring until I met him." He tried another putt. "Hell."
"Use the middle of the putter, not the end," Sam suggested. Xander
nodded and shifted, trying it that way. That worked a bit
better. Still not great. "Maybe you need a new putter."
"Maybe I need to finally learn geometry," Xander quipped.
"Is it supposed to have that bend near the end?" Dean asked. Xander nodded. "And in the handle?"
"No." He held it up to check. "You're right, it's not
straight. Must've been that tree demon," he muttered. "I'll
have to see if it can be straightened." He went to look that up
online. "Crap, have to buy a new one," he complained. "And
the idiot judge still has my account locked."
"Why?" Dean asked, looking at Sam.
"One of the drool society died and left me shit so he had the Treasury
inspect my accounts to make sure I wasn't evil." He came out of
the office. "They're supposed to be done by Wednesday." He
got something to drink and came back.
"Is the hunting going to be a problem?" Sam asked.
"No. The ATF has a file that lists me as being able to find things
for apocalypse battles but it also lists that Beckett has direct
oversight with O'Neill. They did question the other wills and if I
had caused them to commit suicide so I had him look up the file on that
curse since it was noted by the FBI. He was not amused." He
sipped his water. Olivia came running in being chased by her
uncle. The Winchesters and Xander watched her run squealing up the
stairs. "Does that mean it's nap time?" he called.
"Hell no!" Olivia called back, making Dean choke.
"Grounded," Xander called. "You and Dean both."
"You're not my mommy," Dean quipped.
Xander stared at him. "You taught her to swear, you'd better
unteach her to swear before Tara hears and paddles your ass." Dean
winced and went up to talk to her about swearing like a real
Sam looked up there at Dean's yelp. "Did she spank you?" he called.
"Yes, and then I got put in the corner like Dad did." He came down
the stairs and suddenly felt the urge to go stand in the corner.
Xander went up to stop that immediately. He scowled and she quit,
backing down. "Bed." She sniffled. "You know better
than to magic people for bad reasons. Your uncle can hang out
until you get up from your nap too." He pointed. She ran
crying into her room but got into bed and covered herself up.
Xander removed the cats and closed the door, looking at him.
"Punitive naps usually last about thirty minutes." That got a nod
and they went back downstairs. Dean was out of his corner shaking
his head. "Did we teach her not to swear or should you go back in
your corner?" he asked dryly.
"No, I told her swearing like that was bad and only big people could do
it," he assured him. "I have the feeling Tara would spank really
"Probably," Xander agreed. He heard the shot that made the glass
break and the bullet paused in midair. Then Xander glared at the
man, making him scream. "Sam, please," he said quietly. Sam
glanced at him but went to the elevator so he could get the idiot off
the building, calling officers for help on the way.
"Dude, I thought that was Tara and Willow stuff," Dean said bluntly.
"It is," Xander sighed, sitting down. "It comes with the hellmouth
taint but I've had that happen twice since the visions started."
"Sammy got other powers from the demon that gave him his. Could be that they're in the same brain area."
"Could be," Xander said, making himself relax. They heard sirens
and there was no way that guy was moving. He was slowly growing
into the roof over there. Xander looked at the bullet and it
fell. He got up to get something to drink. "Anyone want some
"No, I think I need something stronger," Daniel's cousin admitted.
Xander shook his head. "None in the house. Sorry.
Drunk parents, dude." He sipped his milk, sitting down to pet his
cats. "She'll be up soon. Stay long enough for that."
He nodded, making himself calm down. "That has to be the other
"Probably," Dean agreed. "Or an agent who hates you and Peter being together."
Xander looked at him. "Don't help," he mouthed. Dean nodded
he could do that. Xander sipped more of his milk. Sam let an
officer up. He pointed. "Bullet." The officer
gathered it. "The other owner that's caused so many problems?"
"Yup," Sam said, giving him a hug around the head as he walked past
him. "He's very sorry." He flopped down on the small few
inches of couch Dean being stretched out left him. He looked
around. "She napping?"
"Punitive one," Xander agreed. The officer looked at him.
"She decided Dean needed to stand in the corner and tried to *make* him
stand in the corner."
The officer grinned. "She's an adorable little girl, Harris. How many problems have you had with him?"
"Just him and his buddy. They both own shut-down factories that
are now making drugs with illegal immigrants. I've turned them in a
number of times, generally when they try something to get me to
leave. I'm sorry about him growing into the roof." He took
"No, it's good," he promised. "You guys all right otherwise?"
Xander looked then pointed. "Is he one of yours?"
The officer called that in to the others and they ran up to stop that idiot. "No, he's not." He stared at him.
"I'm so going to end them if that's an agent of some sort," Xander muttered.
"As they're calling it, the drool patrol, sir."
Xander snorted. "Let me talk to him." He walked out with the
officer, going over there. He scowled. "I'm going to fuck
your life up like you have *no* clue!" he shouted. The man
flinched. "First one takes a shot at me and then you try it?"
"No, Xander. I'd never want to hurt you. If Peter was there I
was going to shoot him." Xander hit him. He moaned, using
his tongue to test the cut on his lip. "He's...."
"Don't hit him again," the senior officer ordered.
Xander stared at him. "You just made me go back into apocalypse
mode. Happy?" The man gave him a scared look. Xander
stared back. "I'd so suggest you confess so they can find you a
"I can do that," he agreed, stepping back. "You know I'd never hurt you or Olivia, Xander."
"Do you think seeing someone she likes shot won't hurt her?" he asked.
"Do you honestly think I wouldn't have destroyed you and others if you had managed it?"
"Oh," he said weakly, trying to back further away. "I'm going to
go confess now. Really." Xander growled. "Yeah, like
right now." He dove for the car and let himself be locked
in. "Can I go see Beckett or her minions? They'll make sure I
find a deep enough hole."
"I'm not sure the center of the earth would be deep enough," one of the
officer said. "It wouldn't be if it was me." He looked at
Harris. "Call your boyfriend to make sure he's all right?"
"Oh hell no we'd never shoot him in DC!" the drool patrol member
complained. "Cash would kill us in some strange, non-gun using
Xander stared at him. "Not if I got there first."
He whimpered. "Sure," he said weakly. "Yeah. Can we go
see Beckett now?" The officer driving nodded and took him off.
Xander looked at the other officers. "I'm going to go calm
down. If he presses assault charges for me hitting him, so be
it." He walked off. When he got into the warehouse he called
Lorne's number. Max had put it into his phone. "There was
an idiot drool patrol member who said that if he shot Peter in DC, you'd
destroy him harder than I would. Probably without using a
gun. I pointed out you'd have to beat me to them. Beckett,"
he said dryly. "And the one that just shot into the house.
No, the other factory owner. No, right now I'm looking at the
warehouse." He smirked at something that appeared.
"Aww, General Jack's stuff just sent another one." He hung up and
called his phone. "It's Xander. Apparently your room is full since
I have a glowy, battery looking thing that just appeared in the main
room." He hung up and went upstairs. Olivia was up and pouty
but cuddling her uncle. He stared at her. "Are you going to
do it again?" She shook her head and gave him a hug.
"You're usually a good girl, Olivia. Follow the rules we set down
and you only have naps when you're tired." He kissed her on the
head. "Play quietly while I clean up the mess."
"Already did," Dean said.
The house phone rang and the answering machine picked it up.
"Xander," Max London's voice asked. "What idiot person shot at
you? Lorne's throwing a fit like your niece would and we'd like to
know if he's on a list somewhere. If so, please have someone let
He picked it up. "The shot came from the other factory
owner. The idiot drool patrol member is going to Beckett.
Because I've reached my point of 'I'll be damned, let's stop that
apocalypse'." He hung up and got some more milk.
"Xander, the emergency stash of Kaluha is in the cabinet beside your
head," Sam offered. "So's the blender to make milkshakes."
Xander nodded, getting that down. Olivia came running over to
help. She carefully brought hers out to her other uncle so he
could help her with it. Xander gave himself a slightly alcoholic
one and sat down to sip. Olivia's uncle smiled at him for
it. "It's been a shitty day," he admitted. "I do this so
rarely it's not funny."
"I know, Xander." He tasted it and looked at him. "Peanut butter?"
"She likes peanut butter ice cream," Dean said with a small shrug.
"I'm surprised she didn't want the mint chocolate chip one."
"Huh. Most kids like vanilla and chocolate."
"She eats what we eat," Xander reminded him. "She's never really
gotten kid food outside of canned fruit cocktail. She likes that
for breakfast so I buy the low sugar kind."
He nodded. "That makes sense. She's very well behaved."
"Peter's been working on her manners." He grinned before taking
another sip. "He said girls have to have more manners so they can
later train their boyfriends and kids." Dean burst out giggling,
nodding that was true.
"Yeah, girls should have manners and boys at least *some*." He
smiled at her. "You're very well mannered and you'll make a great
Ma some year," he assured her.
"Not before she's thirty," Sam and Xander ordered.
"Dad would shit bricks and make her regret it," Sam told Xander.
"He'd have to get in line," Xander assured him. "Hell, even Tara
would be impressed with that one." He took another drink.
Both slayers and John came off the elevator. "Hey."
"You good?" Faith asked, seeing the hole in the door. "That's gonna suck to replace."
"Especially with the accounts locked," Xander agreed. He finished
his milk shake and got up to make another without alcohol.
"Please." Kinella followed to pick out her ice cream. "We don't have them in Fez usually."
"That's because milk goes bad faster in the heat," he said with a grin
for her. She nudged him. He made hers then his own.
"No, I'm good." She looked at John, who was examining the
door. "What happened?" Xander pointed across the street as
he sipped. "Oh." She nodded. "The sprout okay?"
"She was taking a nap for *making* Dean stand in the corner."
John looked over. "At least she learns not to do it again. Though he probably needed paddled more than that."
"Shut up," Olivia ordered with a scowl. "My Dean!"
"Corner," Xander said with a point. She huffed but went to stand
in it. "Then quit acting up before you get to miss dinner for
another nap." She pouted but stayed there quietly. She knew
what she was supposed to do. Even when her auntie and the puppy
came in. The puppy sniffed her and she looked back then petted
it. "Time's up," Xander decided. She got down to play with
"At least her terrible twos are only lasting a few weeks," Tara said
dryly. "Factory owner?" He nodded. "Huh." She
kissed him on the head. "What am I making for dinner?"
"Order," Xander said. "Unless you want steaks."
She looked then ordered pizzas. Olivia got her golf set and putted
some balls around for the pets to follow, even if one did land in
Kinella's lap. She moved it before the puppy could pounce
her. Olivia beamed at her and chased it to bat it around some
Daniel's cousin shook his head. "She's mostly a very good girl,"
he said with a smile for Xander. "Auntie will be very happy with
"Let me know when you finally talk them into coming over. Because I don't go to England for another year."
"I can do that." He left, going back to his place to call his aunt
and talk to her about Olivia. She still hated the magic stuff but
it was good that they were teaching her how to use it right.
"Does she have a passport?" Tara asked.
"Yeah, I got her one once we got the custody papers because we still had
to go into Canada that trip," Xander said. "She went to Spain to
see Sister Rosemary with me too."
"Huh. Okay." She smiled. "The account thing?"
"I'm hoping it's nearly solved," he said dryly. "Though he did let
me load a prepaid debit card." She nodded at that. Olivia
came over to get some of his shake. He let her and she went back
to playing with the dog. Xander relaxed. Beckett came off
the elevator staring at him. "Is he hiding?"
"He begged to go under the jail."
"He was going to shoot Peter if he was up here. In front of
Olivia." Tara winced and shook her head. "It's probably a
She smiled at him. "He said he was. Who hit him?" Xander waved a hand. "In custody or out?"
"He was in cuffs. I stopped at the single one. He dove
into the car the next time he tempted me into hitting him."
He finished his shake and put the glass down.
"Goes in sink," Olivia reminded him. Tara snickered, taking that in there so she'd quit nagging.
"I told the officer if he pressed charges we'd deal with it."
"No, there was a question about if the officers had."
"No, I was losing my temper," he admitted.
She smiled. "I understand perfectly well why you did,
Xander." She looked over there. "If that's another one I'm
going to kill them myself."
Xander looked over. "That's Underdog Man."
She rolled her eyes and went to get him and his 'bat grappling hook'
system. "Couldn't come up with an original superhero?" she
snorted. "Boys like Xander need creativity. That's why he'd
never date you." She decided to twist the knife further because he
was so dumb it was making her head hurt. "Look at how creative
Shank is. He's written a book that'll become a movie soon.
He's got a second book being written. He's supposed to be good
with weapons. Hell, he even taught Xander golf. Clearly not a
stereotype you can live up to." She put the despondent former spy
into the backseat of her car and got in to drive him to the
station. She handed him to Esposito on her way to the coffee
machine. "Spandex Boy there was trying to be Batman to impress
"Can't be original, huh," Detective Ryan quipped with an evil smirk for
him. "That means you're definitely not worthy of Xander.
You'd probably stunt his muses' growth so he'd have to quit writing."
Esposito took pity on the guy since he was nearly crying. "At
least he found someone decent with skills who can keep up with him since
there were so many that tried." He called up the old booking
slips. "Anything like your address changed since the last time we
saw you in your tacky spandex underwear?"
"No," he said, looking down. Maybe he had to restrategize his plan on how to win and woo Xander.
"Don't even think about it," Beckett said as she walked out with coffee. "He'd never dump Peter for you or anyone."
The former spy huffed but stayed quiet through everything so he could
think in his cell faster. He really needed better plans, more
creative plans, to woo Xander. And Olivia of course. She had to
come to love him or Xander would just push him aside.
Xander walked off the elevator the next morning running into someone who
looked very familiar, though his version was back in DC for some sort
of meeting. "Uncle Shank said to stay inside today. There's a
threat against you."
"That's not that unusual," Xander said. "You really do look just like your uncle."
"That's because he's my uncle," he said with a grin. He smiled at Olivia. "Does she have to go to daycare?"
"Probably, yeah. It's good for her and I have interviews today."
Mickey winced. "Well.... We'll figure that part out.
I'm going with you because three spies have decided if they can't have
you Uncle Shank definitely can't. He had to kill two that broke
into his place last night."
Xander frowned. "How did they break in? His place had almost no access. And no one knew where he lived."
"They tried to capture Agent Philips too. They managed him for an
hour and got some truth serum into him before he got rescued by some
nice demons who owed you poker debts." Xander smirked at that,
sending a text message. He got Olivia into her booster seat and
got into the car. "You know this isn't something that usually
"Someone in Madrid decided that since it was usually the nastier sort
that was drawn to me and I knew weapons I'd be a perfect underworld or
former spy spouse." Mickey chuckled, pulling into traffic.
"He didn't win so he spread that around to his associates, who took it
as a challenge and then got snared somehow by my muses or brains or
something. It's like I'm the mega hot fudge sundae of the wanted
"Thankfully I was always a good boy and agent."
Xander grinned. "If you weren't and Peter hadn't told me about you I would've shot you by now."
Mickey smirked. "You'll do good with my uncle. He's got that
same sort of mean streak. Which way is the daycare?" Xander
gave him the address and he drove them there. Then they went back
to the apartment to work out how to deal with the interviews.
Xander had already called Peter from the shower and while
changing. So that was nice. Mickey looked in the 'research'
cabinet and nodded at what he saw. "Nice collection."
Xander grinned. "Yes, it is." He beamed and held up a
hand. "I need to grab something from the warehouse." He went
down there, finding a goat tethered. "Aww, baby, did no one feed
you?" He called upstairs and had Mickey liberate the lettuce from
the fridge. It'd have to do for a bit. He fed the goat and
went looking for what he needed. Mickey stared from the doorway
because the warehouse was creepy.
"Why did someone send you a goat?"
"It's a courier goat." He grinned. "Something on it must be
worse than usual but I'm too pretty to disarm it at the moment."
He called someone and they came rushing over. They had animal
healing skills. They found that one of the bombs had been tripped
accidentally and Xander shut it off. The goat got freed of all the
little weapons, which Xander put in his pocket and backpack. He
patted the demon on the head. "Take her home?" He nodded,
taking her with him. "Tell him because that one was running, he's
in trouble if he didn't know."
"Thank you." They left, Xander taking the bomb to Beckett.
The officers in there stared at him. "It showed up in the
warehouse running. It's disarmed, guys. Really. I'd
never walk a live one in here." He went up there and put it in
front of Rick. "You describe bombs funny. Have a research
"Where did you get it?" Detective Ryan quipped.
"On a goat. The warehouse summoned it because it had accidentally
been running in transit." He grinned and walked off. "Have
fun with that. The goat's free of all his little boxes and back
with his master."
"Uh-huh," Beckett said. "Where's the rest it was probably
carrying, Xander?" Xander sighed but handed over the few in his
pockets. "Thank you." He beamed and walked off.
Mickey looked back, shaking his head. "He's my uncle. One of
the idiots decided if they can't have him, my uncle can't. So I'm
guarding him today for interviews." He grinned. "Robert
would be so pleased since we don't have a case right now." He got
into the elevator.
"That's the guy that works with the Equalizer, right?" Esposito
hissed. Beckett nodded. "I thought Peter looked familiar."
"We ran into him right after we started to work together, bro," Ryan told him. "He was off hunting a stupid idiot."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot that case since the State Department wanted
it." He shook his head and called someone. "Harris's
warehouse got sent a bomb he disarmed and gave to Castle as a research
resource. On Beckett's desk." He hung up.
"Twenty. He's across town."
"Sure. As long as it won't explode." She looked it over. "It's a complicated little thing."
"It is," Rick agreed. He took a picture and sent it to his contact
in Homeland Security with a note about where it had come from. He
got back an 'I know'.
"So, you're his boyfriend," the reporter said, smiling at Mickey.
"Nephew of. I'm playing a faithful bodyguard type today as a favor to him."
Xander shrugged. "The idiot that started it this time was the same
guy that broke in wearing Underdog's costume and singing his theme
song," he said dryly. "Last night he was using a Bat-grappling
hook system when Beckett got him."
She walked off cackling. "Peter is so much better for you, Xander."
"Yup, and he even taught me to like golf."
"You need to find a better course that's easier."
"That one's nice," Xander admitted. "All but those two holes. I'm told they're redoing them this winter."
"Less sadistic or more?" Mickey quipped.
"I'm hoping less. Beyond that the rest want you to be members."
"True. Though there's a new one in town, northern edge, and it's
supposed to be decent enough. They also have an indoor driving
range for blowing off stress."
"I"ll have to find that," Xander decided. The makeup person got
finished with his hair that refused to do anything today. "It
decided I need to look like a Potter or a Sheppard," he quipped,
cracking her up.
"You did look good with Sheppard on that signing trip," she assured
him. "There were a lot of pouty girls that hoped you two weren't
"John's way too smart for me." He got done and released.
"Thank you, my dear." She walked them out. Mickey got a spot
to wait. Xander got put out on the stage but it was an interview
room with two chairs this time because it was going to be a longer one.
Mickey stayed out of the way and watched for dangerous people who wanted
what his uncle had. The one that did showed up with a knife and
before he could move, Xander had stood up and pulled out
something. The guy paused, staring at the tiny box. Which
grew. Then the guy started to sweat and back up.
"No, I'm really sorry. Wrong guy, Harris. Really!" he said,
nodding quickly, still walking backward. "I thought you were
someone else entirely. Damn I'm stupid." He kept
going. Mickey got him down and handcuffed before he got too much
Xander sighed and shrank the box, putting it into his pocket.
"Someone delivered it to me earlier for the next apocalypse. I
haven't visited the warehouse yet." Mickey took the bag and walked
off again. "My boyfriend's nephew. He's being very
The reporter smiled and nodded. "He seems like a nice guy. Is he single?"
"I haven't asked. I don't know too many straight, single women."
"Yes but I'm not looking," Mickey called.
"Pity. I know a few officers who are looking for a good, strong
boyfriend." She smiled at Xander and they got back to the
Mickey shook his head because somewhere Robert was spluttering his tea or his uncle was cackling about all this.
Beckett came off the elevator. "Do I need to get a warrant?"
"Major uprising next week and all but two are in the warehouse, Kate."
She stared at him. "I didn't get told that."
He looked up from his reading. "We just got back from there.
And I'm so proud because Olivia petted the weapons and told them they
were beautiful." He beamed.
She huffed. "Bag." He pointed. She looked, finding only two. "Why not these two?"
"Broken. I need to do some soldering work."
She confiscated them anyway. "Which poker debt was it?"
"It was off the goat that appeared in the warehouse because that bomb
was running." He grinned at her. "Don't I usually turn most
"Yes but you've been in a foul temper since Peter went back to DC."
"No, I had fun while calling him earlier from the shower."
"I don't want to know," she complained. She shook her head and
walked off. She could check with the probable dealer to make sure
how many the goat had been carrying. After she swatted him for
doing it again.
Xander got back to reading, shaking his head. Sometimes Beckett
and Castle really needed to finally work things out so they'd both be
less grumpy. Maybe he'd work up a plan with Olivia to help them
get together sooner.
Xander had practiced with Olivia for days for this. He let her get
on the elevator herself and pushed the button. She beamed because
they were being sneaky and she was making people happy. She got
off the elevator and ran over to hug her favorite uncles. "Because
you deserve pretty." She handed him a flower. She went to
the others to do that too. She smiled at her Auntie Kate and
handed her a special one. "You deserve pretty." She handed
one to her Uncle Rick. "You deserve pretty too." She beamed
and ran off, letting the officer there push the button when she couldn't
reach it. "Fank you!"
"Olivia, who brought you in?" Rick called.
"Uncle Xander talkie."
"Tell him we said thanks, kiddo," Esposito said with a grin.
He and his partner had gotten nice simple purplish roses. Beckett
had a yellow and maroon rose. "She picked you out one that
matched her favorite dress," he teased with a grin.
Beckett smiled back. "It's a beautiful flower." She got
something to put it in. Rick's was green. "What does your
Ryan read his. "Olivia said everyone deserves something pretty to make them happier." Esposito nodded his did too.
"Mine says 'men who are green should wear green more often' and to take
my daughter out to lunch later." He put it into his pocket with a
"Mine says 'a beautiful woman deserves a flower that reminds her of that
magical time between sunrise and the end of night when dreams can be
wished on safely'." She leaned the card against the cup with the
flower. "Flattery will not get him the artillery back." The
detectives snickered but they knew it had been trying to make Castle
jealous. That's why his rose was green and had a little green-eyed
cherub on the front.
Apparently they had lost the bet on whether or not Xander knew
subtlety. That had nearly bordered on smooth. Especially
with the way Castle was staring at her flower.
Olivia pounced the man outside their building. "Got you!" she shouted.
"Olivia, get off the nice detective," Xander called. "We don't know him that well."
"Oops." She grinned. "Hi!"
"Hi," he said with a smile back. "Mr. Harris, I'm Detective Robbins, IAB."
"Not like I'm one of you."
"You walked a bomb in?"
"It appeared in the warehouse. I had disarmed it. I'd never
walk a working one into the station." He put down the bags and
went back for more. Olivia pressed the keys on the keypad while he
swiped his passcard. She carried the bags carefully in to sit in
front of the elevator. She didn't know how to keep the door open
for very long yet.
"We know Detective Beckett and you have an arrangement for the
apocalypse needs we have." Xander nodded, putting down more
bags. He went back for the rest. Then the cab could
leave. "Why didn't you hand over the rest?"
"Because that day was screwed up," he admitted. "My boyfriend's
nephew had to show up to help us protect ourselves thanks to a guy who
wanted to date me that I wouldn't touch. One of them actually
tried to stab me during an interview."
"I saw that," he admitted. "Which is what made us wonder."
"We went to the warehouse after all the interviews, when I deemed it
safer to be less armed. Beckett came up to scowl at me when we got
home and took the two things I had kept out to repair."
"Oh. So she didn't know?"
"No and frankly I needed it that day. Between that interview and
three others there was another attack by something paid to kill me so
Peter would be bereft of my affection as it said."
The detective grimaced. "Wanna be poet?"
"Apparently." He shrugged. "Anyway....." He saw
someone stomping his way. "Olivia, stay inside. It's bad
people." They activated a gas grenade next to them. Xander
hit him. "You brought it near my niece, you fucking moron!"
Olivia was screaming, he could hear her. "Get her inside. In
the living room there's a bathroom with my patrol med kit." The
officer took her up there to get her out of harm's way and to wash the
gas off her. Xander kicked the guy's ass the way he should have
the first time he but he had been told to be polite. He was pulled
off by two officers. "Olivia's upstairs. Whatever gas he
set off hit her." They ran up to help her. Xander got put
against the building for now. One of the paramedics was trying to
check him over but he kept brushing them off.
"Let yourself be examined," a firm voice ordered.
"I"m fine." He took Olivia to hug. "Baby, are you all right?" She sniffled and hugged him.
"You can both go," the paramedic said. "You've got some burns as well."
"Kid, I'll put the groceries in your house," the IAB detective
said. Xander nodded, letting the paramedics take them both.
He looked at the other guy. "You look like...."
"He's my uncle." He took the bags up to put things up then went to
the hospital, with a long, rant filled phone call on the way.
They already had Olivia in a bed with burn cream and damp bandages
overtop of the burns. Xander was hovering and holding her hand,
talking quietly to her. "Is she all right?" Xander flinched
and reached for a weapon. "Calm down." He moved into
sight. "Just calm down." Xander relaxed and nodded.
"Is she going to be okay? Uncle Shank was livid when I called."
"Yeah, they said it won't scar, just be really nasty and sore for a few days."
"Good, now let's get you treated. I'll stay with Olivia. And
there's Beckett and Castle," he said, spotting them and waving them
in. "We'll stay with Olivia. Between the three of us, no
one's getting near her." Xander swallowed but went to the
bathroom. Castle walked him out to the nurses. They had
called Beckett so the boy would let them treat him as well. He
relaxed against the wall. "Uncle Peter's livid," he said.
She smiled. "He called." Mickey smirked back. "It's a
good thing I spent some time in Russia as an exchange student."
Mickey laughed. Olivia fussed so she petted her hair. "Shh,
Olivia. I'm here, Uncle Rick's outside with your Uncle Xander, and
Uncle Peter's nephew Mickey is here to help us watch over you."
She looked at him. "Who?"
"One of the two guys across the street."
"I thought they were both in jail."
"Apparently not." Xander came in and he put him into a chair for
now. Xander relaxed and cuddled Olivia. "I'll stay until
Uncle Peter gets up here," he said calmly and quietly.
"Can you go guard the warehouse instead?" he asked. He looked at
him. "There's too many dangerous things in there. They might
try to blow it up or something."
"I can do that." He patted him on the back, watching him
hiss. He looked. "Bad bruising, kid." He left, going
to do him that favor. Knowing what he had found when he looked up
the warehouse, he didn't want that thing to explode either. He
also called Tara to tell her. He wasn't sure if anyone had yet or
"I'll be Goddess damned if that mother fucker hurts my niece again,"
Tara growled as she hung up and stomped off. Her boss was giving
her worried looks. "One of the two people that's been plaguing
Xander about the warehouse gas attacked him and Olivia." She
grabbed her jacket and stomped out.
Her boss sighed. "It's nice there was no breeze this time," she
decided. The other librarian nodded. "I'm hoping the baby's
all right. She's a wonderfully sweet girl who adores books."
"I'm sure she'll be fine. Tara probably knows some healing spells or something."
"Probably." She cleaned up the small mess of index cards Tara had
dropped when the phone call started. Fortunately the library was
nearly empty today so no one had heard that unladylike outburst.
Tara came off the elevator at the hospital and a nurse got in her way. "Ma'am, are you glowing due to radiation?"
"No, I'm a bit upset," she admitted calmly. "I'm sorry if I'm scaring people."
"I need to make sure you won't hurt anyone."
"Olivia's my niece, she's like my little girl!"
She pointed. "They're in there. We moved in a cot for her
uncle since he had some burns as well." Tara nodded, going to
sniffle and cry on Olivia. Rick got her calmed down eventually and
Olivia helped by patting her for feeling bad. Within two hours,
three more sets of visitors showed up. One very snarling brunette
young woman in leather pants and a sleeveless t-shirt who was wearing
combat boots. One older, scruffy man with dirty jeans and t-shirt
that she made go clean up first. And two brothers in much the same
state as their father who also had to go clean up first. The room
was full but no one was going to get any of them to go home.
Around midnight another man, this one quiet, clean, looking calm and in
control, walked off the elevator. She stared at him. "You
were here earlier."
"Was my nephew," he said quietly. "My boyfriend?" She
pointed. He went in there, nodding at the others who were mostly
drowsing. He hugged Olivia. "You will be fine. Is like
a sunburn." She sniffled and nodded, cuddling him to cry
on. Xander woke up to that and moved to help him. Peter held
him as well. Xander relaxed and let him handle things for
him. Beckett got the Winchesters slotted to the apartment for
now. They could come back tomorrow. Olivia could probably
get out then. Xander too. She looked at Peter, who nodded he
was staying. She said goodnight to the baby and promised she'd be
back in the morning. To try to rest. The baby kissed her
blindly and let her go with Uncle Rick. Tara got brought home by
John, letting her cry about all that.
Peter kissed Xander on the temple. "Climb in beside her.
I'll make sure you don't pull anything out and it will soothe you
both." Xander nodded and let himself be helped up there.
Olivia went to sleep. Xander went to sleep. Peter sat up and
watched over them, seething that the justice system had failed.
It would not happen again if he had his way. And he would have his
The judge looked at the case file he had been presented for
arraignment. "It looks like a chemical gas attack, Mr.
Lyons?" That was not what he was expecting when the bailiff said
'assault with a deadly weapon'.
"Yes, Your Honor, and the man is on probation from one incident against
that man, on bail for another a few weeks back, and now used a chemical
gas grenade his pet drug makers made for him on a young man and a
not-quite-three-year-old girl. Personally, the citizens of this
city want him under the jail with no hope of seeing daylight ever
The judge looked at him. "Are there indications that we'd have to take security precautions in the jail?"
"Yes, Your Honor. The guards last night had to put him in solitary
for his own safety after the second attempted attack happened.
Both were 'you're a sick bastard to attack a kid with a chemical weapon'
sort." He looked at the papers. "Beyond that, he's awaiting
trial on two other cases from what I'm seeing." He handed that to
"Does your client have any sort of excuse for how stupid he is?" he asked the defense attorney.
"He vehemently opposes the owner of that building being there,
sir. He and another building owner have both allegedly attacked
"They've both been convicted of it," the prosecutor stated. "That means it's not alleged anymore."
Beckett stood up. "Your Honor, the other one in this duo of
stupidity was remanded to the demonic courts upon their asking for him,"
she stated. "That warehouse has been there since the eighteen
hundreds. It's always had a guardian. The last one was
psychotic and left it to Mr. Harris to guard. I don't really care
that they don't like that the warehouse has been there longer than the
factories they ran into the ground and then started to use to make
The judge stared at her. "Detective...."
"Ah, I see. And that would be that Mr. Harris." She nodded. "How are they?"
"Both have chemical burns. Olivia's going to be fine they
think. No lasting damage or harm to her eyes. He's hoping
for the same since he waited until she was settled and he had backup to
"He doesn't need them anyway," the idiot spouted off with a sneer. "He writes crappy *fantasy* books."
She stared at him. "Which is why he makes more than your factory ever
did. So if he can't write any more, he can sue you." She
smiled. He slumped down. She looked at the judge
again. "We've already stopped and warned the demonic element in
this city that are usually peaceful and relatively decent at being New
Yorkers to not attack them. There was going to be one. The
young and stupid among them may still. They said they'd try to
The judge nodded. "I wasn't going to give him bail anyway,
Detective. Not with him awaiting two other trials. I will
order him put into solitary confinement or other suitably safe
arrangements." He banged his gavel. "That one is remanded to
the state's custody. Did he want to enter a plea at this time?"
"Fine." He marked that down. The man was led off complaining
about demons. At least until he started to scream and wail.
The bailiff walked out then back in shaking his head. "The slayer
Faith just ran into him in the hallway and didn't touch him."
"If he's that scared of strong women no wonder he turned to drugs." The prosecutor snickered. "Thank you."
"No, sir, thank you." He walked off talking to Beckett about their
injuries. She could get Xander to agree to turn over the medical
records without a judicial order. He checked on the other
one. He had been sentenced to twenty years in a jail that was
underwater on a demon realm with carnivorous fish. He wasn't going
to get out early.
Xander woke up and started to rub his eyes but Peter stopped him. "Do not, will make it more sore," he said quietly.
"I thought you showed up in a dream," he murmured.
"No, I'm real." He kissed him on the temple. "You however
have a fever." He got the nurse in, letting her check him
over. Xander shifted. "Olivia is with Tara. She got
lesser exposure by being inside for most of it and getting it washed off
immediately." Xander slumped.
"We were waiting on a bed to come open to move you to your own room,"
the nurse said. "Let me check on that." She went back to the
desk to call. She came back with a wheelchair. "All right,
let's get you up to your own room." She and Peter helped him into
the chair and they wheeled him off. "Your niece was adorable and
made sure that the burns wouldn't make her less pretty."
Xander grinned a tiny bit, it hurt to smile more. "She's very
concerned about her prettiness level. I'm not sure how we managed
The nurse smiled. "Some girls are like that but yours is also
smart, protective, and mothering. I wish more children on my unit
were nice like she was." She turned him over. "His niece got
released about an hour ago. This is his boyfriend."
"Who has her?" Xander asked Peter, turning his head to look at him even though the bandages meant he couldn't see.
"Tara does at your apartment with all three Winchesters. Castle is
checking on her today as well." Xander nodded. He looked at
the nurse. "They'll show up later."
"That's fine." She got him settled and let them fuss at each
other. Peter settled in to read to him. That was sweet.
"It's not fair that I can't pounce you for that," Xander teased.
"You can pounce when you are healed. Before then, let me put you
to sleep with boring parts I cannot fix." Xander yawned but
nodded, letting him do that. Xander was nearly woken up when
Doctor Lam stormed in but Peter glared at her. "Hush."
She glared back. "Boyfriend?" He smirked and nodded.
"I've heard about you from General Jack." She checked Xander over,
using a different cream. "This is stuff we found off-world that
works wonders on burns of all kinds and helps heal cuts faster without a
scar," she said in Xander's ear. He moaned but shifted.
"Shh. Nurse, can I look at his eyes?"
"He has an eye exam later, Doctor Lam. They said to leave it on until then because they put special drops in his eyes."
"That's fine. I've seen worse cases heal without scars." She
looked at Peter, who merely crossed his legs. "Good." She
smiled. "I like the boy. He's very nice and polite, so if
you screw him or his niece up I'll be killing you myself." She
made notes in his chart and left her card so she could be updated.
The nurse smiled and she left.
"How did he know someone at the SGC?" the nurse asked.
"He moved next to General O'Neill once. Doctor Lam fixed his broken rib that had caused problems."
"Awwww. That's very sweet of her." She left to make that
note as well. He had some really good doctors on his case.
Plus a stubborn boyfriend with a hot accent who was in fussing
mode. It was sweet to watch.
Xander looked at his eye doctor. "So... am I going to be able to
see the computer I'm typing on again?" he asked finally when the silence
in the exam room got too heavy to not break.
"You'll have some irritation and it looks like you've probably need some
reading glasses for a while." He pulled back. "You'll have
eye drops for about six weeks to help with the inflamation.
Whoever created that stuff was stupid on a galactic scale."
"They've been making drugs with illegal immigrants they've been keeping hostage," Xander admitted quietly. "Six weeks?"
"My niece Olivia?"
"Hers got washed out very quickly so there's some puffiness and redness
but it'll go down within days. Where you protected her and beat
the crap out of him from what I heard, and then refused treatment until
she was safe, it lasted longer on you." Xander nodded he realized
that. "Most parents would do that though." He looked up from
writing his prescription. "Once the inflamation is down, you can
go looking for a stylish pair of reading glasses. Also, she's
about old enough to get hers checked too."
"I planned on it before September. That way she gets into the
habit of knowing she's going to the eye doctor and getting shots."
He smiled. "That is a good thing, yes." He handed over the
slip of paper. "Get it filled on your way home tomorrow."
"No, I'm told they were worried about something in your blood."
"Oooh. That might be a problem. I'll ask." The doctor
smiled and got the nurse to take him back up to his room. Once
they were in the elevator alone looked back at her. "I have
medical records that are sealed by order of the government," he said
quietly. "Specifically blood work."
She nodded she had heard. "Doctor Lam ordered some to be run and
forgotten about." She pushed him off into their unit. "She
was worried about your liver function for some reason."
"I've been a good boy. It must be where John made me eat too many vegetables."
"Winchester. Olivia's been adopted as an honorary
granddaughter." He grinned. "He even got her a foam staff
she likes to beat on him with."
"Awww." She got him settled into his bed. Peter showed up
with a take-out box, which she sighed at. "We should make him eat
"Is nutritious and chocolate," he offered. "It will make him feel
better. Has protein from nuts." He let her see the
cake. She moaned and made a note that he had dinner. Peter
handed him the box and plastic fork. Xander beamed at him.
"How are they?"
"Eye drops for six weeks." He handed Peter the prescription.
"Then he said I should probably look at reading glasses."
"There are some pretty ones that Olivia would like."
"I doubt I'll wear pink, even for her." He ate a bite. "How is she?"
"John has her calmed down. They are coming later." He looked
out in the hallway, finding a sneaking, crawling thing. He
cleared his throat loudly, pointing at the baby. The nurse looked
over the desk, coming over to pick it up and give it an odd look.
Fortunately a father came looking for her a few minutes later.
Peter settled in his seat again. "She is worried but they told her
you needed to rest tonight."
Xander nodded. "I think I get out tomorrow." He ate another bite. "This almost makes it better."
"When you get home, we will sit and read to the baby. That will make you feel most better."
Xander grinned. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"Is what parents do. I would if she were mine. Unfortunately
he cannot get out so I cannot finish the beating you started. He
is much too protected." Xander nodded with a grimace but ate
another bite. He put it aside. Peter smiled and opened a
book. It helped him rest. It helped Peter calm down.
Xander slid down on the bed and listened for now. It meant his
eyes quit aching from the light because he could close them. He
felt someone climb up him and hugged them. "Hi, 'Liv. Uncle
Xander's just fine."
"Is not Olivia. Is crawling one from earlier. Is her father
missing her again?" he called. The nurse came in and sighed,
taking the baby with her. She shut that room's door. "She
knew you needed hug."
"I do probably look a bit pitiful."
Peter kissed him. "Not much. Mostly like bad sunburn with
allergies." Xander grinned and let him read to him some more,
nibbling on his cake by the fingerful. It was nice. Even
when Olivia got there and climbed up to cuddle him. Then he read
to both of them. John came in a few minutes later. "Did she
get on elevator without you?"
"Yes. I was asking which room he was in. She heard and took
off for the elevator. She pushed the right button I guess."
He sat on the foot of the bed. "She's been worried all day but she
knows you're fine. Right, Olivia?"
"You hush," she ordered, snuggling in better. She crooned and
patted him like he did her. Her uncle smiled and cuddled her
Doctor Lam walked in and smiled. "Aww."
"Olivia, let's get him a soda," John ordered.
"No. I stay here," she said, clinging. She looked at the woman. "Who you?"
"I'm Doctor Lam, Olivia. I took care of your uncle when he was
sick a few years back. Back before you came to live with
him." She petted her hair down. "You're very good at taking
care of them, sweetheart. I'm very proud of how good you are at
it." Olivia smiled and kissed her uncle's cheek. "Xander,
"Mermaid or magic?"
"Probably magical damage. I didn't check it last time beyond
making sure the illness didn't hurt it any." Xander sighed but
nodded. "It looks like you haven't went down much from the last
time your regular doctor checked it."
"That's good," Peter said. "What caused that?"
"A certain magic addicted witch when I tried to stop her world-ending
suicide attempt," Xander said. "I felt like a baby Potter."
"Ow," John said, rubbing his own side. Peter nodded he agreed.
She smiled at Xander. "The rest isn't bad, but isn't great.
It's still there. You being sick made it go up some but I'm fairly
certain it'll go back down." He nodded, blinking at her.
She applied the eye drops for him, handing him a tissue. He sighed
in pleasure. Olivia giggled and hugged him. "Six times a
day starting tomorrow." She patted him on the head "Right
now, make sure you don't get more sick."
"Good boy." She smiled at Peter. Then at John. "I'll let Philips and the general know."
"You're welcome." She left, making some notes that didn't say much
but would allude for those who knew about his sealed medical
records. Then she went back to base so she could relax.
Olivia looked at the box of cake then her uncle, picking up the fork to
feed him a bite. "You eat. Need food to be strong.
Need chocolate to be happy."
Xander grinned at her. "You're so smart."
She beamed back and fed him another bite. The two silly adults
smiled at her for it but that was being a big boy she supposed.
Her other uncles did. Her uncle yawned so she put the fork back
down and laid down again to cuddle him, staring at her Uncle Peter since
he had the book. "Bedtime story?" she asked when he didn't catch
He grinned back. "Of course I can read you both a bedtime
story." He went back to reading. When Olivia was snoring and
Xander was halfway to the same state, John picked up Olivia.
Peter smiled. "I will be here until he comes home," he said
"Thank you. Your nephew's a really nice kid by the
way." He carried Olivia down to his truck so he could take
her home and put her into her bed.
Peter put his feet up on the edge of the bed, watching his boyfriend nap
while checking his weapons. The nurses weren't watching so no one
would have a fit. He wasn't sure someone else wouldn't try.
Though he had been...mean to a few of them so they wouldn't be coming
back. Xander shifted and winced, waking himself up. Peter
put up his gun and leaned over to stroke over his hair. "Rest," he
said quietly. "I am watching."
Xander yawned. "I always feel safe around you," he said
quietly. "That's why I was able to fall asleep with strange people
in the house that first day."
Peter smiled. "I am very bad but not for you." Xander
grinned back. He yawned and let himself drift off again.
Peter relaxed back in his chair. A nurse peeked in and he nodded
"Does he need guarded?" Peter nodded. "We do have security."
"I am former agent."
"Oh. Then you'd probably do it better." Peter smirked and
nodded. "Fine. Get your feet off the bed please." He
did that. "Thank you." She walked off.
Peter made sure he was comfortable and able to see all the way up the
hallway to the elevator. He did not want any surprises from those
who wanted what he had. Those ones really needed to learn manners
more than Olivia did.
Olivia looked around the daycare, blinking at the strange noise.
She was only in here so they could get her uncle home without her help -
her aunt had told her that. So why was someone crying? She
got up and looked in the hallway but Missy, her room's monitor, pulled
her back and shut the door. "Crying," she said with a point and a
"There's adults to handle that."
"So?" Missy pointed so she huffed and went back to her book.
Missy went to check on things, closing the door behind her.
Olivia got up and listened then opened the door with a touch of magic,
looking out in the hallway. She scowled and closed the little kids
in the room. She stomped to the mean person that was bad.
She knew he was bad. She glared at him. "Uncle be mad!" she
announced. "He be very mad!"
"He needs my help to feel better," he told her with a smile. She
kicked him on the ankle. "Hey! Usually you're more polite."
"That's because you stupid," she assured him.
He laughed. "You really do sound like your mother and Aunt Buffy
sometimes, Olivia." She growled and he squealed as he changed to a
"Little piggy cried 'wee wee wee' all the way home," she quoted then cackled and ran off.
"Olivia," Missy called, following her. They had to have a talk
right then about her magic. Even if he was bad, she shouldn't
change people. It was really hard to change them back.
She also called Tara.
Tara hung up with a sigh, looking at her aunt. "Olivia just
changed someone that was wanting to take her from the daycare into a
piglet. She quoted the little piggy song." She rubbed her
forehead. "I've got to talk to her." She got up. "I'll
talk to you later, Aunt. Let me help the coven member at her
daycare." She walked off shaking her head.
Missy looked at Tara when she was let into the room. "She glared
when he said she was just like her Aunt Buffy and mother. That was
right after she called him stupid."
"Which one was it, Olivia?"
"Bad idiot." Tara stared at her. She shrugged and shrank
down some. "Just know he's bad! Uncle keeps him away from
"I will be too but you still can't change people," Tara said.
She looked down. "Sorry?"
"You're grounded so yes you will be." Tara sighed, looking at the
piglet in the corner. She concentrated. "Change him back."
"He still bad!"
"I'll beat him if he tries anything," Tara assured her. "Change
him back." Olivia huffed but did that. She looked at the
man. "Well, she's right, you are bad." He stared at her,
starting to sniffle. "Try it," she growled. The man sat
down. It was disorienting when you suddenly changed back into a
human. Tara called someone. "Detective Ryan? It's
Tara." She sighed. "Gustav showed up at Olivia's
daycare. He's no longer a piglet..... Was he trying to get
her out?" she asked Missy. Who nodded. "Yes, he was,
Detective Ryan. Please? Thank you. No, I'm going to be
talking with Olivia about when you're supposed to change people, like
when they're actually kidnaping you. Thank you."
She hung up. "He'll send down Detective Esposito in a few
moments." She pulled Olivia over and made her stand in front of
her, making her look at her. "If they're touching you, hurting
you, or trying to take you, then you change them. Not because
they're threatening. That is an adult job and you're at least
fifteen years from that. Probably more if your uncle gets his
Olivia nodded, looking down again. "I won't change anyone again
unless they're being bad to someone instead of talking about it."
Tara hugged her. "Thank you, Olivia. That's a good way to do
it." Olivia nodded, cuddling. "C'mon, I'm not at work today
so I'll bring you with me." Olivia nodded, running off to get her
bag and jacket. Tara looked at Missy. "Is everyone else all
"She locked the other kids in the room," she said. "She's very protective and a good girl, Tara. We love Olivia."
Tara smiled. "She does us proud with how protective she is."
She smiled when Olivia came back. "Some day when I have a baby, I
want her and you to get along very well."
"Then you've decided?" Missy asked.
She sighed but nodded. "Mostly yes. I'm not sure about other
things like who I'd ask to donate or if I want something frozen."
She stood up. "I was talking with my aunt. We'll take her
lunch." She signed Olivia out, letting her hug the other
workers. Then they took a cab to her aunt's shop. It was
good for Olivia to meet other witches, even if her aunt was a judgmental
pain in the butt at times. She scowled at Olivia but Tara shook
her head. "He was trying to remove her from daycare and she knows
that she's only supposed to do it if they're hurting someone or trying
to take her."
"That's more reasonable," her aunt decided. "She's very young."
"She's been active since she was about six months old." She picked
Olivia up to cuddle her. "Her mother used to pop around all the
time while pregnant so she's always been very active."
"I can understand that." She led them back to the office, smiling
at the bag of croissants that her niece pulled out of her bag.
Olivia walked around looking at all the books. She looked at Tara
and pointed. She knew that book.
"That's not our copy so it doesn't talk like your daddy."
Her aunt stared at her. "You go ahead if it makes you feel better,
dear. That way I can see how you do things." Olivia beamed
at her and pulled down the book to hug. She opened it and it read
to her. She smiled at her niece. "She's stronger than you."
Tara smiled. "That's why we're so strong about teaching her
boundaries. So she knows when she should and shouldn't use
it. Plus I'm teaching her a lot about plants."
"That's wonderful and an area you've always excelled in." She smiled at the girl. "Anything to limit her?"
"We have a few small ones in henna on her lower back that we go over
every few weeks to keep down the hellmouth taint her mother sucked up
when she went to reminisce while pregnant. When we first got her,
she was so full of multiple forms of magic. John and I weeded it
"That's always wise." She smiled at the girl, who was listening to
the book and pointing at the words she knew. "She's incredibly
bright as well."
Tara smiled. "She loves books. She's already reading very tiny words. Xander's even written her some books."
"I saw one of those." She gave Olivia a croissant but the girl put
it beside her and nibbled, making sure she licked her fingers clean and
wiped them on her skirt before turning the page. "She's
very careful with the books." Tara smiled. "You've done a
good job with her."
"Xander's done an excellent job with her. He has her more often
than I do because he has more time to spend with her. I get her
about three nights a week and two of those are my days off. Plus
I'm over a lot."
"That's good. The boy turned out better than I thought." She
smiled. The girl was reading back to the book. It was
adorable. Tara showed her the video Xander had sent of John
talking to her about gardens. Her aunt grinned at that. It
was a nice, peaceful meeting for a change.
Tara sat down next to Sam on the porch at Xander's. "Can you find
something for me?" she asked quietly, looking at her hands.
"Of course. What did you need to find?"
She blushed and looked at him. "A sperm bank that's focused on the supernatural community?" she whispered.
He hugged her. "The only one I know doesn't really screen out the
bad guys but I'll look." She grinned, still blushing. "Give
me a day to look." He pulled over his laptop to start a good
search for her. That one wasn't going to be good enough for Tara's
future kid. She went back inside. He grinned, expanding his
search overseas as well. England might have one with the upswing
of those who wanted to be Druids.
Xander blinked from his spot on the couch being fussed over by Olivia. "When do I get someone new to fuss over with her?"
"I'm looking at frozen daddy options. Sam's looking to see if there's one for witches."
"You could just pop Sammy into bed," Dean offered from his seat.
She blushed and shook her head quickly. "Or just have him do it
into a cup so your doc can insert it. Less fun but if that's how
you wanna go."
"If he wanted to be the daddy to your future kid, I wouldn't mind," John
told her. "We like you. You're a good witch.
You know about hunters and hunting. You'd never keep us from the
baby." She shook her head with a smile. "Or you can have
"Dean's snipped," Dean noted.
"Or Xander," John offered.
"Infertile," Xander said. "Mermaid taint made sure."
John shook his head. "You guys were damn insane out there."
She giggled and nodded. Sam came in to show her the place he had
found. Nothing too great but it seemed decent. "Do they
screen for evil bastards, Sammy?" John asked.
"No, none of them do. This one does sort by type of magic they use."
She looked over the samples they showing limited information on.
Mostly they had how many samples in these different magics. She
stared. "I don't like how many chaos sorts they have."
"It's not like it can warp the seed in the other freezers," Xander teased.
She looked at him. "Olivia, swat him for the bad thought
please?" Olivia swatted him but grinned at him for it. She
was helping him put in his eye drops.
Peter came off the elevator with a bag. He smiled at Xander and
Olivia. He was feeling strange and he wasn't sure why. He
put the bag in the refrigerator and picked up Olivia, smiling at
her. "Is going to rain. Go pick up the toys outside?"
She wiggled down and went to do that. He smiled at Tara. "He
"I know. You and Olivia take good care of him. Should I take her home with me tonight?"
"No!" Olivia shouted. "Stay here!"
"That way your uncle could rest," John told her.
"So? I fuss!" she ordered.
"You do it very well," Xander promised. He looked at Peter, who
could only smile. "How about you fuss tonight? And then
tomorrow Auntie Tara gets you through Sunday since that's your usual day
with her? And she can take all the Winchesters for a night too
because Grandpa's snoring is keeping me up." John looked pissed
but Sam and Dean blushed.
"Yeah, we can give you two an uninterrupted night," Dean said
quietly. John stared at him. "Dad, wouldn't you have wanted a
night *alone* with Mom?"
"Oh!" He nodded. "Sorry, kid."
"Most of the time I don't mind but I want a night where I can cuddle and
be babied. And maybe have sex on the couch again."
John blushed bright red and nodded. "I can do that. I was
married once and wanted the same thing. That's why we have Sammy."
"Dad!" Sam complained. "TMI."
"Very TMI," Dean agreed. "Though I remember a little old lady up
the street that had cats...." He shook his head quickly.
"She was your babysitter," John agreed. "Mary and I always tried
to go out once a week even if it was just for a few hours on a picnic in
a park. It kept her happy and it let her tell me things that
weren't nagging about tossing my socks into her basket or leaving dirty
Sam grinned. "I did that a lot with Jess, especially during the
bad weeks of college. That way we could destress and forget that
books existed for a few hours. We usually went to the club
"I can't comment. I've had a serious one but she hated to go
out." Dean shifted. "Hey, Olivia, can I have a cuddle?"
She looked at his lap. "Would make kitty wife move." John
snickered, shaking his head. She came over to pet the cat
and hug him without climbing into his lap. That kitty might bat at
her with her claws out if she tried to move her from Dean's lap.
Sam caught her and cuddled her. "Fuss now," she complained.
Sam smiled at her. "You have a few hours and I needed Olivia cuddles."
"When you're with me you can help me figure out how to have my own baby," Tara said.
Olivia gaped at her then squealed and pounced her to cuddle. "Baby
sister!" She patted her tummy. "Baby sister soon?"
"I'm trying to pick the daddy then we'll work on giving you a baby
sister." She smiled. "So I need help picking out the daddy."
Olivia stared at her then at Dean. "Kitty wife would mind."
Dean snickered but nodded. "So take Uncle Sam!" she decided,
beaming at him.
"None of us would mind if he wanted to be the daddy," John assured her. "You'd still be my granddaughter too."
Olivia grinned at him. Then at Sam. "Make baby now!"
"No, we can't do it today," Sam said. "We need to do things
first." Olivia pouted. "Besides, I have to be alone with
Auntie Tara to help her with the baby thing. And we might need a
doctor first too."
"Ooooh. Shots?" she asked Tara.
"No, just a check up." Olivia cuddled her. It was making her
feel better about her decision, even if she felt a bit guilty about
wanting a baby of her own. Later that night she tapped on Sam's
bedroom door and walked in when he said she could. She sat on the
bed. "I'm not sure if I can do...." She sighed, looking at
him. "With a frozen one there's no one *there*, Sam."
He grinned. "I get that. There'd be no nagging about 'it was
good enough for my boys' or no need to worry about starting something
with someone and the daddy feeling like he was in the way. I'm
totally leaving that choice up to you, Tara. If you want me to do
it, I'll gladly go to your doc." She grinned, blushing some.
"I'll also be there whenever I'm nearby to take some of the baby care
duties and all that. So would Dean probably. He's been
jonsing for a nephew for years even if he doesn't say it. Family's
very important to a Winchester."
She nodded. "I'm still trying to decide."
He kissed her on the cheek. "It's all good, no matter which way
you decide." She smiled at him and left to go home. His
father walked in. "She does have a point. A baby from a
frozen sample would mean that she'd have a baby of just her own.
No one else to tell her how to do things, get into arguments with over
things, nothing like that. With her past she'd probably want that
so that she could have someone that was just there for *her*."
John considered it. "I can understand that. She'd have
Xander to help her co-parent." Sam nodded. "Though it could
open her up to more nagging from her aunt. Pregnant women are
fragile and that woman is rabid to having Tara back on the pacifist side
of the craft."
"The last time Xander had to pick up something there, he and Dean went because her aunt's coven tried to wish him harm."
"I wonder if that's what's keeping the thing with the Treasury going."
"Xander filed papers to get them to leave him alone. Against his lawyer's wishes but he did."
"It figures. I'd have asked the drool patrol."
"No, then they'd want something and the one he did ask was horrified
that he'd ask for that sort of help and not want to be his."
"Oh." He nodded. "I guess that makes sense. We can do a hotel room tomorrow."
"Tara has the other suite free, Dad. Plus the couches." He
nodded at that and went back to his own room to think. Sam
snuggled into his bed to think as well. Dean's cat hopped up to
get some petting then left to go back to her human. With the way
things were looking maybe they should start thinking about finding a
place nearby more often. They appreciated Xander but he and Peter
needed more time alone. It was hard to get your woo on when the
house was full of people who woke up at the first moan.
Xander followed the summons' instructions, going to the Treasury
office. He held up the letter when the receptionist looked at
him. She typed in what she needed from it and he went to take a
seat. He had a thick file with him. Mostly of court
transcripts. When an agent came out to greet him he got a funny
look. "One of the assholes who used to run a meth making operation
across the street decided that I was evil again and tried to gas attack
myself and my niece. Which is one reason why I need it unlocked,
to pay the medical bills."
The agent blinked at him. "There was a question about why you didn't protest."
"I did protest. All but one." He held up the file. "I
submitted these before and apparently someone decided to toss them
out." The agent glared. Xander stared at him. "I've
seen tougher teenagers. I'm not really in a good mood. The
only one I didn't protest the judge told me that if I had, it would've
opened a challenge for a group that wanted a house that had been used
for sacrificial killings. No one wanted them to get it but they
had a good challenge lined up if I opened up that can of worms."
"Oh." He led him back to his office, looking over that
paperwork. "What did cause this...mass extinction? My boss
"Willow Rosenburg when she was pregnant with Olivia. She's never
liked the ones who're drawn to me. A few she changed into
something, those she accidentally wished would die off and leave me
alone. The wish demon decided the gifting part was nice." He
"Where is she?"
"Stuck on another plane at the moment. That's why I have my niece."
"Oh," he said, going to talk to his boss. "Court transcripts that
were supposedly submitted before?" The boss pointed at the trash
can. "Sir, we have no reason to hold this account closed.
He's also suing us."
"Then burn them before you toss them," he said with a smirk.
Xander walked up behind him. "I was wondering which clan you were
from. Huh, you're fully human. That's almost
shocking." The man gave him a horrified look. Xander
smiled. "You're screwing with me for some other reason than being a
"Sir," the agent complained.
Xander smiled at him. "Yay. Like I said, I need it for the
medical bills thanks to the meth making mother fuckers across the street
that gas attacked myself and my nearly three-year-old niece because we
The boss blinked. "What case is this?" he demanded.
"Harris." The agent got the full file for him and brought it back. "The judge is being an asshole."
"The judge is actually a half-demon and his brother owes me a lot of
kittens," Xander admitted, leaning in the doorway. "He thinks it's
keeping his brother in the circuit but I've never pushed for him to pay
me." He shrugged. "I'm peaceful to all demons and half
demons that aren't screwing with me or trying to end humanity.
They all know that. He's just being a bitch."
"Language," the boss ordered.
"Frankly, sir, I'm in pain, I'm overdue for my eyedrops, I ache like
shit, and if I didn't have to do this today, because I was summoned, I'd
be at home with my boyfriend helping me rest. I've only been out
of the hospital for a day now." The boss groaned. He signed
off. "When can I have it back so I can pay off the hospital?"
"Within a week." He handed him the paperwork. "That lawsuit to unblock it?" the agent asked with a smile.
"When I get mine I'll take it off. Because I know there's others
who are idiots in other offices who might interrupt." He grinned
and took the papers. "I had to get away from one of them the last time I
was in DC. By the way, Bill Myers, down there, is not only
laundering money, he's doing it for some drug dealers and a weapons
dealer I know. The weapons dealer suggested I go to him about this
problem." The boss smiled and made notes about that. "Thank
you." He walked off. He took a cab to the bank, who copied
that into the file. Then to his lawyer's. He was happy to
have that information. Then Xander went home to grab his eye drops
and put them in.
Peter looked at him. "You smell like agency offices."
"Treasury over my accounts." He took a kiss and grinned.
"They're going to unblock it sometime. And when they do I'll
remove that lawsuit to unblock it." He got something to
drink. "Want something since I'm in here?"
"No. I'm good." He watched as Xander came out and laid down. "Head still hurt?"
"Just my eyes and my lungs."
"They did not say you had lung infection."
"I don't. I coughed for about thirty minutes though." He
sipped some of his water and put it down beside him on the floor.
"You look upset."
"I was talking to Cash about something and he made strange accusation."
"If you want, we can go kick his ass."
"No. Besides, you should not fly. Pressure changes could
hurt your eyes." Xander nodded that was true. Peter was
sulking. Cash had said something very strange to him and he had
denied it. He was still denying it. Xander picked up a book
and read out loud, making him smile. "I need bedtime story?"
"It made me feel better. I figured it might make you feel better,"
Xander said quietly, looking at him. "Or, you know, we could do
the girl talking thing. Olivia would be proud of us if we did."
Peter snickered. "She would, especially if we dressed up while
doing it." Xander grinned and nodded. He considered
it. "Cash decided I was in love."
Xander tipped his head to the side. "Okay. I can say I'm
edging on that myself." Peter smiled. "But you're the one
that may have complications if you move in or something."
Peter nodded. "True. Many of them do not want to mess with you."
"There's days I wish that would spread," he said dryly. "Not literally wish but well...."
"I understand. There's many that I would like the same gift to
spread to." He shifted. "What should we do about this?"
"Well, there's two options. One of them being that we have to move
to DC and find a new coven to watch over Olivia. Or you could
move up here."
"You would wish me to move in?"
"I didn't figure you'd want to run to Vegas tonight," he said
dryly. "That would definitely mean Olivia having to
shop." He sipped his water and put it back down, shooing the cat
away from it. "My water. You have kitty bowls."
Peter smiled. "True. Olivia would have to get a very pretty
dress for that." Xander nodded. "Tara as well." Xander
grinned. "Might even get Winchesters out of jeans."
"Maybe," Xander agreed. "We'd also have to time it so it wasn't
when they're having that battle for a titled position next week.
That way they don't think we're there to step in."
"Yeah, some heirs are going to fight to the death to see who takes over
the clan. They've rented out somewhere, are putting it up on their
version of pay-per-view. Told the locals, who called Tara.
She told them what that meant and why it was important to let
them. Including an all out civil war within the clan." Peter
nodded at that. "It's going to be brutal. They've been
training for years to kill each other. They've all got to have at
least four kids by then. One's iffy because he only has three and
one on the way. If he's not there, the winner can kill him so he
doesn't challenge him when the fourth is born."
"Sounds like some people I know." He shifted again.
Xander grinned. "Do you have the wiggles?"
"Quite." He got up and came over, making Xander sit up so he could
rest on his thigh instead. It felt like a good time to get closer
to him. "What do you want?"
"I don't care. If we have a more planned wedding someone will ultimately put it in a paper somewhere."
Peter nodded. "Is true."
"Which would mean pictures."
Xander sat up to kiss him. "So I guess I'll leave that to you
since you have scary people who make you hide sometimes," he said
quietly. He laid back down. "Did I send my tux to the
cleaner for Banned Authors?" Peter nodded, smiling and stroking
over his stomach for him. It rumbled back to show it liked
"Agents make many people's stomachs upset." He heard the buzzer
for the doorway intercom, sighing. He got up. "What?" he
"Is this where Mr. Alexander Harris lives?" the male voice asked.
"He is not feeling well."
"Sir, Homeland Security."
"Oh, fuck," Xander muttered. "I didn't threaten anyone."
Peter let them up, staring at them as they got off the elevator. "He is resting."
"I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding," he said with a smile.
Xander looked at him. "I didn't threaten anyone. And usually
I see Agent Philips over my former dates. So who're you?"
"Agent Michael Tyler," he said, flashing his ID.
Peter took it to look at. "Is fake," he said bluntly. "Wrong
writing around edges." He looked at him. The guy pulled a
gun. Peter got him before Xander could move off the couch.
"Huh, they are not good in the least. In my day, agents were
tougher," he told the unconscious man. He called someone.
"Come get fake agent for me before I kill over him pulling a gun on my
intended." He hung up. And called someone else. "My
nephew will have present for you in form of fake agent who is
wimp." He hung up and sat down, letting Xander have his water with
"It's nice not being the most protective in my relationship." He grinned and kissed him. "Thank you."
"You are most welcome." Mickey came off the elevator. "I knew you made copy of the card."
"I did. Sorry, kid."
Xander waved a hand. "Beckett has one too."
"I used hers." He grinned. "Who was he?" Peter pointed
at the credentials he had dropped. He looked at the ID.
"That's a really bad fake," he decided. He hauled him up and down
to his car. He went back up there. "Someone else coming for
him?" Peter nodded. "Decent." He left, smiling because
his uncle looked good cuddling his boyfriend. It was almost sweet
in a way.
He took the idiot not-an-agent-of-that-agency to see who he really
was. There were only a few people his uncle would've called to
come clean up this piece of trash so he called the most likely on the
way. "Uncle Shank probably called you," he said in greeting.
"No, I don't recognize him right off. Going to my play
area. Thanks, Lorne." He hung up. He also turned up
the radio to cover up the groaning in the backseat. "Agents were
tougher in my uncle's and my time in the service. Really we were."
Paula accepted the package the courier handed her, signing the
slip. The courier accepted the tip and left. She opened the
envelope and stared. She knew that paperwork. This was...
well, it may not be a great sign but it might be a really good one and
just what Xander needed to finish settling him down. "Huh," she
said, calling Rick. "Did Xander or Peter say anything to you about
doing something official soon?" She listened to his confused
"No, I have the prenup I had someone draw up for him in my hand,
signed." She hung up on his spluttering, calling Peter's
phone. Xander might ignore her at the moment. Peter always
answered. "Peter, are you all right with that agreement? I
can have a better one drawn up." She listened. Then she
smiled. "That's great news. No, I won't tell any
reporters. Thank you and have a good day." She hung up and
filed that after making sure it was notarized. It was. She
decided to get up and make a photocopy to send to their lawyer, just in
case something was needed.
Yes, very interesting indeed.
Rick hung up and looked at his phone then at the three detectives he
worked with. "Xander sent Paula the prenup she had drawn up for
him," he said quietly.
Beckett's pen paused mid-stroke and she looked at him. "What?"
"Apparently Peter's not as nervous about his former job now." He smiled.
"Huh." She smiled back. "Those two are one strong couple. I wonder if he was telling anyone."
"Probably not at the moment. They're probably planning it. I don't take Peter as the sort to run to Vegas."
"It's legal in this state," Esposito noted. "Just barely."
"Waiting period," Ryan reminded him. "Forty-eight hour."
"That got shot down," Beckett said. "If you're using the Justice
of the Peace you can get your license and then marry that same
day." They stared at each other. Rick was texting
someone. "Alexis or your mother?"
"Xander wondering if we should have a good group dinner soon." He
got back a 'we're not announcing it and not even Olivia knows'. He
laughed. "They haven't told anyone. Xander said not even
"She's seriously going to want to shop for that," Ryan said with a
grin. Esposito chuckled but nodded. "Also, I have heard that
Tara's seeing a fertility specialist." He smiled at them.
"So we'll have someone else for Xander to fuss over soon."
"Aww," Rick said with a grin. "She's been trying to decide for
over a year now. It's good that she's finally decided to have
one." He put his phone away before he was tempted to tell anyone
the big news. His phone rang a bit later. He read.
Then he grinned. "Xander's message of 'damn it, need three
witnesses' is cute."
"You would," Beckett agreed. Rick looked at her. She shrugged. "Sure. Guys?"
"Court," they said in unison, then sighed.
"I can go," Rick decided. "Kate?" She nodded and they left
together. They met up with John Winchester, who was looking
confused. "You didn't know why?" Rick teased.
Beckett got them to the right office and they found Xander pacing.
Peter was calm. Rick got Xander calmed down and she sat next to
Peter. "You good?"
"I am actually fine," he admitted. "Is cute watching Xander fuss
though." She snickered. "He is worried Olivia will pout at
"Probably but you can always do a reaffirming ceremony later on," she reminded him. "Which would let her be pretty."
"She would adore that plus the cake." He nodded at John.
Who turned to look at Xander. "You're doing it this way?" he demanded.
Xander stared at him. "Yeah, that way people don't hound Peter, like his former bosses and the press."
"Oh, I didn't think about that." Xander patted him on the arm and
went back to pacing. "Sit, kid. It's normal to be nervous."
"Something's going to happen. It always does at any major Scoobie event."
"Will not," Peter noted. "I am here and they are all scared of
me." Xander grinned at him. "Only bad thing will be Tara and
Olivia pouting at us."
"They can pick up a cake for a family dinner tomorrow," Xander
said. He looked at Rick and Kate, who nodded they'd be
there. Then at John, who patted him on the back. Peter
texted Tara to pick up a cake from a certain place the next day for a
group dinner. Then he put up his phone because it was time.
He grinned at his bouncy young thing. "You do not want to be
Xander snorted. "I'm many things but not a prince, Peter. Nor do I need the poofy dress."
Peter grinned. "Would look silly on you."
"I don't have the chest for it. I need more definition to have man boobs."
"Quite true." The assistant to the Justice of the Peace was
giggling. They were led in. He handed over the forms.
The Justice looked them over and nodded, then at the witnesses. He
had them sign it and did the short ceremony. It was official and
the couple kissed. Then they fled before someone told a reporter.
Kate and Rick smiled at their backs, with John behind them. "It was sweet," she decided.
"Very sweet," Rick agreed, looking at her.
"You could go back in there," John suggested as he walked around
them. They both scowled at him. He smirked. "Even
Olivia wants to see you two together, guys." He walked off, going
to where he parked his truck.
"She has great taste in what's beautiful and deadly when necessary,"
Rick admitted, smiling at his wanted one. She swatted him before
walking off. He followed.
Tara walked up to Kate the next day and hugged her. "Congratulations," she said with a happy smile.
"Happy you!" Olivia agreed, hugging her too. She ran over to hug Rick. "Happy you and good boy!"
He smiled at her. "Thank you. What did I earn that for?"
"For getting married," Tara said.
"Um, no, we were witnesses," Kate said. Tara showed her the paper. "Huh. Castle."
"Wasn't my doing," he said.
Tara looked at them. "Then... Xander!" she complained.
Olivia stared at her. "Your Uncle Xander got married," she told
Olivia gaped in awe. She liked to watch wedding shows to see all the pretty dresses. "We have dress," she said.
"In a year or so when they do it somewhere other than an office," Rick
said. He called Paula. "Why didn't you call me?" She
hung up on him. He looked up the number for the NY Times and
called them. He read off the name of the reporter, getting her
desk phone. "This is Rick Castle. Detective Beckett and I
did not get married yesterday. We were there as witnesses to
someone else's wedding. Please do retract it, yes." He hung
up and sighed. "Olivia, when they decide to do it like on the tv,
I'll let Mother and Alexis take you and your aunt shopping."
Olivia cheered and bounced around.
Tara smiled. "We might have to start writing books ourselves to be
able to afford that trip." Rick grinned at her. "Is that
why I need to pick up the gooey chocolate cake?" Rick nodded with a
grin. "Okay. I'll get a really big one for the extended
group." She took Olivia off, letting her babble about
dresses. Olivia loved pretty dresses.
"They're going to retract it?" Beckett asked.
"Yes. She said she would after making sure we weren't in the
files." Beckett nodded and sat down. Rick tapped out a
message to his mother, who said it was a shame he hadn't taken the
hint. "Mother," he complained quietly.
Beckett looked then wrote her back before handing the phone back. She got back to work.
Rick smiled at the sent message. He put his phone up and got into what he needed to do as well.
The bartender at Lorne's bar accepted the small package from the delivery truck, smiling at the driver. "Thanks."
"Not a problem." He left, going back on his route.
He looked at the tag. It was to him instead of to the boss.
He shifted it some. It wasn't heavy but it wasn't moving. He
carefully checked and opened it, smiling at the cake in there.
"Huh." He took the card off the inside top of the box. //You
were the one that introduced me to this insanity I can call my
own.// "Awww." He sniffed the cake to make sure it wasn't
poisoned then put it into the fridge. He'd eat it for dinner
later. Max London, the boss's partner, strolled in looking
"Not really. Just been a very long night." She sat down. "Did he ever make it back?"
"It's not like he sleeps here, Max."
"I guess that's a good point. Is there anything we should hear going on?"
"I think there's some news the boss might like to hear but I have no
idea." She nodded and wandered off texting him. "Must've
been a very bad case." Lorne walked in the back door so he handed
over the note. "Max was here and she looked like she was too tired
to care if she was mugged."
"She probably is. We had a good, long run after someone last
night." He read the note and blinked. "Huh." He looked
at his bartender, who showed him the cake. "Interesting."
He took it to sniff. "Not poisoned." He handed it back and
called New York, getting a suspiciously American sounding grunt when
whoever picked up the phone. "Xander, is there something you and
Peter would like to tell us?" he asked. He winced at the
gunshot. "Okay," he said. "Peter? Cake?" he asked when
he picked up the phone. "Yeah, that saved you having to help
Olivia shop for sure. No, just making sure you didn't poison
him. Need help? Underdog.... I don't need to
know. Have a good honeymoon, Peter." He hung up.
His bartender was snickering. "Xander shot whoever answered the
phone." He walked off smiling but shaking his head.
"That was so cute of him." He settled in to nibble through a piece
of his cake. It was excellent cake. Peter had good taste in
sweet things. And sweet boyfriends.
Xander looked at the officer he opened the door for. "I have no
idea why someone broke into my house to answer my phone.
Thankfully my aim was off and I only got him in the knee." They
groaned and went up there. Peter was making breakfast.
Xander took a kiss.
"Hey, where's mine," the idiot on the floor complained. Xander
glared at him. "But..." Peter said something in Russian,
making the guy start to wail and rant. "You bastard! I'll
get you for that! He should've been mine!"
"I *so* would've killed your ass," Xander said dryly. "Then taken all your stuff for a shopping trip with Olivia."
"Ow. That would hurt my wallet," he complained. "She's turning into Buffy."
"We're working on it," Xander said. "Guys, can I clean up his mess soon?"
"Sure, Harris. Why is he ranting?"
Xander smirked. "Because I found someone better than all the ones on the drool patrol."
"Aww," they said. They got the guy cuffed and down to the car so they could take him to the ER.
Xander got the stuff to clean up the guy's blood then they had breakfast
and some smutty couch sex. Sometimes it was nice not having the
Beckett walked into a holy mess the next morning. Her first case
of the week had gotten her up at six am for a multiple body call.
She stared around the room. She knew a lot of them. She had
arrested the greater majority of the room at one time or another.
She stared. Most of them had guns in their hands. Everyone
in the room had been shot. "Any survivors?" she asked first
"Barely and almost, Detective. He said they'd never be complete
without him and clearly they weren't worthy. He died on the way to
the hospital." He handed over the statement his partner had taken
in the ambulance.
She read it and handed it to Esposito, who was next in. He nodded
once and sighed. "This is a charming wedding present for those
"It is," she said. "But rather disgusting." He nodded.
Castle and Ryan showed up together. Esposito handed over the
"Should we tell them?" Rick asked. "That way nothing ambushes them?"
Beckett shook her head. "Tomorrow. When we know what
happened." Lanie, their ME, walked in and paused. She got
handed the note. She huffed. Beckett smiled at her.
"At least it might be an easy case."
"Maybe. I'll still get bothered by people who want to look at
their brains." She walked over. "Let's start with the ones
on the outer edges."
"Start with the table," Rick said. "Two are still holding guns
that can fall." She nodded because she didn't want to accidentally
get shot too and got her people to do that, letting the detectives make
the guns safe so they could be bagged up.
Beckett saw the notes on the table. There was a stack of them and a
few individual ones in front of bodies. "We have....
paperwork. That was so sweet of them."
Rick looked then shook his head. "Xander's going to throw a fit
like Olivia does when she can't read or shop." Ryan snorted,
shaking his head.
"I think they did too," Esposito said, pointing at a fist-sized hole in a wall and a few kick marks.
"It's sad when arms dealers throw Olivia fits," Beckett decided.
"Criminals used to be much tougher." The others gave her odd
looks. "Can you imagines someone in Capone's organization doing
this? Or even the mob families of the seventies?"
"Nope," Esposito admitted. "Though maybe their files will lead us back to other scum that needs to be put away."
"I'm betting we'll be seeing Agent Philips within an hour," Rick shot back.
"Sucker bet," Beckett taunted. They carefully bagged all the
notes. She glanced through them. Yup, Xander and Peter would
Mickey walked off the elevator that afternoon, staring at his uncle, who
was casually writing something on his laptop while Xander napped.
"You couldn't *tell* me?" he demanded. "I had to hear from your
other nephew, who's still a priest by the way?"
"Was spontaneous and I blame Cash," Peter said, not looking up but he
was smiling. "He was the one that told me I was in love."
Mickey moaned. "Mom's going to throw a fit."
"Your mother will survive, the same as your brother will." He looked up. "Did you really mind?"
"No," he snorted, staring at his uncle. "I like Xander. He's
a nice guy. He's like a nicer version of you at times. He's
very protective, very good with his niece, and I'd hate to tangle with
the boy. By the way, you might want to ask Beckett or someone for a
head's up," he said more quietly. "Today. Before the bad
shock hits." He got up and walked off. "Don't let them
decide it was me. I'm actually dating someone decent enough and
she'd get upset." He left, going to talk to Robert. He was a
bit confused, but then again he never thought his uncle would settle
down. Robert let him into his apartment and went back to his reading the
paper. "You might want to put it and the tea down."
Robert did that, staring at him. "Is the world ending?"
"Possibly. That story in the Times? It wasn't Beckett and
Castle. They were witnesses at Xander and Uncle Peter's quickie
Robert looked at his tea then at his helper. "Did you manage to drug me?"
"I thought I might've drugged myself at first. He said Lorne Cash
was responsible, that he had pointed out he was in love."
"Interesting." He sipped his tea. "I wish them every happiness."
"I'm sure they will be since some of the pouty things who thought Xander was perfect for them shot each other last night."
Robert put down his tea again before he choked or spilled it. "How many?"
"Many. I heard rumors of up to ten. And for some reason a cackling Homeland agent."
"Interesting. Can you get me names? That way I can pass that along to others?"
"Sure." He went to bug Beckett while Robert doctored some tea with
rum. He wanted a drink too but he was too bouncy and didn't want
to impose on anyone. Beckett saw him get off the elevator and
stared. "My boss wanted to know if he could pass on a list of
"Philips has it."
"He'd never share with the smaller covert agencies."
"Cash has it."
"I can get it from him." He grinned. "I heard rumors of up to ten?"
"Twenty-six. There were two of them. Brooklyn called when
theirs had a note saying all the wills and letters had to come to me to
He winced. "Damn. No wonder I heard Philips was cackling."
"I wondered when they all turned so soft and cuddly," she admitted. "The older Families wouldn't have let that happen."
"The Russian mob either," he agreed with a grin. "Does Olivia know?"
"We told her and Tara this morning. She's already planning to find a pretty dress."
"Figures." He sighed. "Twenty-six?"
"So far. The list was about thirty long before."
He shook his head quickly. "Thanks." He left, calling Robert
on the way to the bar. "Twenty-six. There was another instance in
Brooklyn. Cash has it." He hung up. When he got to
the former agents bar, he got a bottle and went to get drunk in a back
corner. If he had been just a bit more tough, he might've tried
for Xander too and probably gotten mushy and soft like the others
had. After his third drink he saw all the curious looks from the
other former agents. "Someone call Cash and get the list of those
who died last night."
Someone called his bar, which got the note passed on. What they got back earned a bar-wide toast.
Mickey had another drink too. Because that was insane.
Beckett showed up early for the group dinner. "Xander, Peter, can
we talk?" she asked. She had a folder in her hand and a sealed bag
as well. Xander nodded, taking her and Peter into the
office. The Winchesters, Olivia, and Tara were in the living room
listening to Olivia talk about pretty dresses. She looked at
them. "First, what rumors have you heard?"
"Not many," Peter admitted. "Neither of us have checked email
today." He sat down because this looked like a serious
discussion. "Is there problem?"
Xander stared at her. He recognized that look from before. "Which one was it?"
"Many of them." She opened the folder and handed it over.
Peter shifted so he could see it. "As it turned out three
scenes. One from the second survived and went to hunt down a few
others so they couldn't cause you problems."
Xander sighed, sounding unhappy. "Damn it."
Peter looked. "Usually he is faster," he said with a point.
"He had a broken hand. He fired left-handed. Which is why
that guy survived long enough for most of the trip to the ER."
Peter nodded. "I have no idea why this happened."
"Me either," Xander admitted. He barely saw John flinch and reach
for a gun from his peripheral vision so he walked out there.
"Hey," he said. "What's up? John, relax. This is the
vengeance demon over scorned boyfriends."
"At least I'll never need to come about you," he said, looking Peter up
and down. He smiled at Xander. "It was a wedding present,
delayed wish sort of thing." Beckett came out to stare at
him. "Willow, again. While pregnant like last time.
She said she wished Xander would get with someone fertile who could make
sure that there were many little Xander's in the future.
D'Hoffryn himself granted it and delayed it." Peter gave him an
odd look. "You're technically fertile, you'd never do more than
talk to Xander about adopting later children. Or Tara's if
something happened to her." Peter nodded slowly.
He grinned. "Therefore you fit. The demon that prompted
Willow to make that wish didn't have that in mind and had prompted some
of the drool patrol. Not all of them but a few of them.
Which is how he talked them into that easing of later burdens." He
grinned at Beckett. "That was his 'you're worthless for what I
need in minions' fit. So D'Hoffryn used the wish to stop that
one's power grabbing attempt and killed that demon for being an
"Language," Olivia ordered with a scowl.
"Sorry, sweetie." He smiled at her. "You look very pretty today."
"Of course I am." She stared at him. "You're a demon, I know
you are." He nodded, going to his demon face. She stared at
"I'm a vengeance demon. I come when people wish." Olivia's
eyes went wide and she looked at Sam, who had said that word recently
during a story. "No, not his. Someone else who wished your
Uncle could find someone great to marry." He smirked at the
kid. "Anya's *so* cackling. She has to do penance and all
that she was cackling so hard." He grinned at Peter. "You'd
better never make him call me about you. I won't be as nice as I
was when he cursed Anya." He disappeared.
Xander looked at Beckett. "That explains why they seemed so soft to me," she decided.
"How many?" Dean asked with a wince.
"Thirty-four total." Even Tara winced at that. "So...."
"I have no idea," Xander admitted. "Or how you'd prove it."
"No, they killed each other. None was a suicide." Xander
sighed, sitting down. "But they all left you letters and things."
"I don't want their crap. It'd mean more problems from the people in the Treasury."
"They still haven't unlocked things," Tara admitted.
"I told them it was unlocked or I wasn't going to drop the suit."
"Well, now we have things they have not touched," Peter said
dryly. Olivia hugged him. He smiled at her. "You are
very pretty today."
"When I get to be pretty in 'spensive dress?"
"Next year sometime perhaps."
She nodded, twirling around and dancing over to Sam, who she hugged. "When I get baby sister?"
"Oh." She pouted at Kate. "I should have baby sister sooner."
"It takes nearly a year for a baby to be born once it's made," Kate told her. "Maybe next year for preschool."
"Dirt." She pouted at Tara, who hugged her.
"We're having a family dinner in a few minutes," Xander told her.
"Have Tara make you pretty for that." Olivia squealed all the way
to her closet. Tara gave her a minute then followed. By then
Olivia would've decided what to wear.
"I'll make that note into the file," Beckett said, handing Xander the sealed bag. "Some are letters."
They sat together to read them over. "Is good they are already
dead or else I would have to be possessive," Peter said after the first
Xander kissed him on the cheek. "There's probably some left you
can be possessive on." He grinned. Peter smirked back.
"Eww," Dean complained. "Mush."
"Oatmeal good for you," Olivia called from upstairs. John cracked
up, followed by Beckett. She came downstairs in an outfit she
adored. "Tv says is good for heart and things." She kissed
Dean on the chin and grinned at him. "Big hearts mean good girls
like you." She bounced off to pet Tara's puppy.
"Olivia, that doesn't match," Xander said.
She looked at herself then at him. "Does. Is a dress."
He shook his head. "It looks like one of the shirts that Paula used to make me change out of."
"She does look like one of your old shirts," Tara agreed as she came down.
Olivia beamed at that compliment. "See, matches," she told her
silly uncle. "Do," she made kissy noises. "More mush is good
for Dean so he gets good girls who like his strong heart." She
went back to playing.
John had taken film of that. He sent it to Bobby with the
explanation of this is why Olivia was like his granddaughter. "You
could use some more stamina, son," John quipped with an evil
grin. "Maybe some gym time too. Women like fit boys."
"I'm not a boy anymore," Dean shot back. "I'm nearly thirty, Dad."
"Women still like guys who are in shape," Beckett teased with a smirk. "You haven't been hunting as much recently."
He rolled his eyes. "No, I've gotten plenty of working out done. Thanks though. Know any easy, hot chicks?"
"Many," she said. "They'd all want to keep you though."
"Pity." Detectives Esposito and Ryan came off the elevator. Then Paula came up in the next elevator with Mickey.
"Everyone, is my nephew Mickey," Peter announced with a point. "I have another one who is priest."
"Really?" Xander asked, looking at him. Peter smiled and
nodded. "Cool. Once I meet him I can start going to him for
holy water." Peter grinned at that.
"Let me tell him first," Mickey said. "He's a bit...straight."
"A lot of priests are," Xander agreed. "That's why so many send me death threats."
"He's an Orthodox priest."
"I've only gotten a death threat from one of them," he admitted, considering it.
Peter gave him a squeeze. "They will not come near you." He
went back to reading. "Looks like next apocalypse battle will have
"I still have oversight," Beckett assured him. Rick, his mother, and daughter showed up next. "We found out why."
Olivia walked over and leaned in close to her aunt. "Mommy is a
stupid head," she hissed. Then she ran off to pounce her uncles.
Beckett smiled, looking at Tara, who was close enough to hear. "I've never said that."
"What?" Xander asked.
"She said sometimes her mommy was a stupid head."
"Sometimes everyone has days like that," Xander agreed, looking at
Olivia. "Every human does. Yours gets you grounded."
"Is Mommy grounded?"
"No, not exactly. She just can't get home. She's more
lost. Like a lost doggy but there's no pound for lost witches."
"Oh." She nodded and shrugged. "It'll be okay. Daddy
will rescue her like on the doggy movie." She smiled at
Peter. "Daddy will think you're cute too." She ran over to
pounce her detective uncles and Rick, giving them all hugs. "I get
to wear pretty dress."
"Yes you sure will," Detective Ryan agreed with a smile. "Xander, is this a date-free event?"
"Call your woman. As long as she doesn't throw a fit because I'm so adorable," Xander said with a grin.
"She's one of those who was praying you'd finally find someone sane," he
shot back. He pulled out his phone but Olivia took it and let him
dial then she walked off babbling with that auntie about pretty dresses
and cake, because there had to be cake when you dressed up so
pretty. Detective Ryan followed her trying to get his phone back.
"You're not a teenager, get off the phone," Xander called after a
minute. Peter was snickering. So was John. "That's
what she did from my room each time she called you, yes," Xander told
John. "Then Dean would call me."
Olivia blew a kiss and handed the phone back with a grin. "She
coming. She get pretty for you too. She said she'd talk
about the baby sister thing I wanted from everyone." She bounded
off again. Alexis caught her and sat her down to read to her.
Detective Ryan listened to his girlfriend. "Xander said it was fine. I have no clue where she got that idea."
"She decided if Tara has one it'll be a sibling too," Dean called.
"Yeah, that could be," he decided. He said something mushy and
hung up. Olivia looked over at him. "Let Alexis read to
you. She has to get in practice for her boyfriend. Since it
helped Xander calm down he might need it some day."
Alexis giggled. "I doubt that but if he turns as tough as Xander we'll go to the gym together."
"At least you didn't say she'd be reading to my grandchildren," Rick complained.
"Some year far in the future," Alexis quipped.
"Then maybe yours can be a boy and date 'Liv," Tara joked with a grin for her buddy.
"No," Rick said, shaking his head. "There'll be a huge age gap between them." Tara giggled, leaning on Martha's arm.
"If we time it right we can have four generations in the same
house. If Grandmother lives long enough we might even have five,"
Rick looked at her then at his mother. "What did you feed her for lunch? Was it drugged?"
"I didn't think so but you never know. I'm sure it will be at least a decade, dear."
"It had better be," Rick agreed.
"Then you could take one of those 'three generations of family women' pictures," Esposito teased with a grin.
"Only if you get me in drag," Rick shot back. "Though I do look
very nice it's not something I want immortalized in pictures."
"I'm very glad I didn't have to have this talk," Beckett complained.
Xander shrugged. "Me either."
Peter poked him. "Your parents would have complained."
"My parents wouldn't have noticed it if *I* came home pregnant, Peter. Much less if I had one with someone else."
"I wonder what Willow would've done if you had," Tara said, looking up.
"Depends. Early on, she would've complained and 'poor baby'd me to
death. Promising to fix it and all that. Later on she
would've said that was just my sort of luck. Probably blamed me
for screwing up someone's spell. Once she started to get addicted,
she might not have noticed until I was seriously showing."
Tara nodded. "I can see that, yeah." She sighed.
"She's going to squeal if I have one and she gets back before it's
born. I did over hers."
"I'm sure Buffy has over Willow's stomach a few times." Tara
nodded she probably had. Faith and Kinella came off the
elevator. Xander looked at Peter, who smiled at him.
"Everyone." They all stared at him. "There's a reason for
the family gathering."
Faith looked at him. "You're clearly stating something," she said. "He looks comfy, X."
"He is very comfy." He grinned. "So's the ring when and if we find one."
Faith blinked a few times. "Excuse me? Ring?" Xander
smirked and nodded. "Huh." She looked at Kinella, who looked
fairly stunned. "You don't have a problem, right?" she asked
"No. I've never had a problem with gay people. Especially
after some of the ones Xander used to date." She hugged him.
"Congratulations. When's the wedding?"
Faith cackled. "Dodged the shopping bullet again?" she taunted. "No pretty dress shopping?"
"I wear pretty dress next year," Olivia assured her with a grin. "It takes time to shop."
"It sure does," Alexis agreed. "Congrats, guys. I'm hoping that's why the paper said that Dad and Kate married."
"They and John were our witnesses."
Peter nodded. "Was strange to see that. I almost wondered if someone had done some hidden paperwork."
"Don't tempt them," Kate said. "A few are pushing very
hard." She gave Xander a pointed look, getting a grin back.
It had taken her all day to realize why Castle had gotten a green
rose. She had lost money to her minions that Xander did actually
know what subtle action was. Hell, Esposito had to give her a
Xander grinned at her. "Olivia thought you'd like the sunrise rose."
"I did. It's very pretty." She smiled at the baby, who grinned at her. "You're usually a very good girl."
"You should," she said, making another kissy noise. "Him."
She pointed at Rick. "That way I could have another baby sister."
"You know, Tara could have a boy," Sam teased. "Then it'd be a brother."
She gave him a strange look. "What's a brother?"
"A boy that's younger than you that's related to you," John said. "Like Sammy is Dean's little brother."
"Oh." She nodded, looking at Sam.
"You'll make a fantastic big sister," Sam assured her with a
smile. She grinned back and got another book for Alexis to read,
which made Peter blush for some reason.
She grinned at him. "The not-you book." He nodded it was.
"I wondered why he was writing kids books," Esposito said with a grin.
"There was nothing to let her understand about disguises. Each
time Peter came in looking different she ran to call John from my
bedroom." Xander looked at Peter. "Are you going to keep
"Am not sure."
"Do more," Olivia made a kissing noise. "So Dean have more mush and get better girls."
Peter kissed Xander. "There, that should be enough."
"I'm not ready for more than a kitty wife," Dean joked. "She's much less demanding than a girlfriend."
"She can't cuddle like a girlfriend," Tara teased.
"Anytime I need pity cuddles, I have Olivia," Dean joked back with a grin.
"Some day she'll have a boyfriend too," Alexis teased with a mean smirk. "Then what'll you do?"
"Hopefully by then he'll have someone," John said. "Maybe even with grandchildren."
"She's going to wait until she's thirty to date? I'm sure no one would really mind," Dean said.
"I meant grandchildren for me, Dean, not for you. Though.... depending on how bad the kids are....."
"Hell no! There's no teenage spawning in this family. You
didn't let me or Sammy, I'd never let mine or Sammy's." Sam
cracked up. Olivia looked so confused so Dean grinned at
her. "We're talking about when you become a mommy, 'Liv."
Olivia shook her head quickly. "No, then I'd have to get lost or be grounded." She went back to helping Alexis read.
"Not all mommies do," Tara assured her. "I won't be."
"You not do it for long but if you don't then Uncle Xander will have to
go 'nap six or nine so I can decide which one I like best. You'd
only be lost for a weekend though because you're smart."
"I just had a mental thought of me answering the phone as 'Xander's home for orphaned witches'," Xander quipped.
"That's not quite how you get cousins," Rick said.
Olivia looked confused. "What's a cousin?"
Xander picked up a crayon and some paper, drawing quickly. "When a
daddy or mommy have brothers and sisters, then they have babies, those
are cousins." He used the crayon to point. "See, daddy's
brother or sister, or mommy's brother or sister, has babies and that
makes them your cousins."
"Do I have cousins?" she asked.
"You have a ton of them but they're all in Ireland with your daddy's mommy."
"We should go see if they're pretty like I am since Uncle said that I'm pretty like daddy."
Xander grinned. "We're visiting next year when I have to sign
books over there." She beamed and got back to reading with Alexis.
"How long has she been speaking in mostly complete sentences?" Rick asked.
"Since she was two," Xander said, giving him a look. "It was like
her thing with crawling. Her mother would want her to be little
"Missy say playing dumb is making me less smart and smart is pretty."
"It's a very good point that smart women get the better men," Rick's
mother, Martha, said with a smile for the baby. "Some day you'll
find a very nice young man to date."
"Then you can do mushy things," Esposito said with a grin for her.
"That's too long," she said, shaking her head. "Dean's heart will
be too weak to have girl beyond kitty wife. Then grandpa no have
grandkids. We need more mush now to save him. You two can do
Detective Ryan giggled. "No, I have a girlfriend. I'll do mushy stuff with her when she gets here."
Olivia smiled at him. "Good you." She looked at Kate.
"No, I don't have anyone to be mushy with," she said. "It takes a lot of work to find the right one to be mushy with."
"You need help with your cabinet or warehouse to keep scary ones away?" Olivia asked her with a grin. "I help."
"You're very helpful but I don't need a research cabinet or a warehouse
to scare them away." She grinned at her. "If I need to scare
one away, I can do it myself."
"And if she can't, I can," Detective Ryan said, going to answer the beep of the panel so his girlfriend could join them.
Olivia ran over to hug her. "When do you get to wear the pretty dress?"
"I get to wear mine next month."
Olivia stared at Xander. "I need one by then."
"We're only going as friends; you can wear a normal dress because we're
only watching," Xander told her. Olivia pouted. "That's her
wedding and she put her family into it. We're friends, not family,
so we can only watch."
"Oh. Okay. So I get something pretty but not 'spensive?"
"You already have one," Tara assured her. "It's in my
closet." Olivia beamed at her and walked her 'auntie' over to sit
next to Tara so they could talk about the pretty dresses.
Xander looked at Peter. "It's nice they donated to her closet fund."
Peter poked him but he was snickering. "Is, yes. And apocalypse closet."
"I still have oversight," Beckett said smugly.
"But we get to pet the weapons first, right?" Olivia chirped then spun
around a few times. "Weapons are *pretty* and shiny like jewelry."
"Oh, no. You're too young for real jewelry," Xander said.
Olivia pouted at him. "You and Auntie Tara can talk about earrings
but you get fake jewelry until you're at least twelve."
"Of course. No one would give a girl that young diamonds," Martha, Rick's mother, joked.
Rick nodded. "We sent them back. They sent them to Beckett as a peace offering."
"I heard," Xander complained. "I nearly had a fit." Martha's
mouth flopped open. "Sapphires." He grinned.
"Fortunately," Peter said, waving the packet of letters and wills. "They will not do so again."
Dean shook his head quickly. "That's insane, guys."
"Dude, the higher ups on the local demon council sent her a tiara for her birthday," Xander told him.
"Real?" Sam asked with a wince.
"They said they confiscated it and it'd look better on Olivia than it
would on someone's wife," Tara said with a grin. "It's in a
special box so she can look but not touch it."
Daniel's cousin George came off the elevator. "Sorry I'm
late." Olivia squealed as she ran over to hug him. "Hi,
Olivia." He picked her up to cuddle. "So why the family
dinner?" He spotted someone he didn't know. "George,
Daniel's cousin," he said, holding out a hand.
"Mickey, Peter's nephew." He grinned. "It's big news."
He nodded at the couple. "That wasn't Beckett and Castle getting
married as reported in the paper."
He gaped, staring at them. "You two ran off and got hitched?"
"City Hall isn't exactly running off," Xander said with a grin.
"But otherwise, yeah." He beamed. "We're apparently planning
on renewing it sometime in the next few years so Olivia can do the
expensive shopping she wants to do."
George shook his head with a moan. "Olivia, you have plenty of things to be pretty in."
She stared at him like was crazy. "Special times call for special
prettiness. Like parties." She got down and went to look at
her Uncle Kevin's girlfriend's ring again. "Very shiny," she said
with a grin. "Fits well."
"Thanks, kiddo. It's good to know I did good," Kevin joked.
Olivia looked at her uncle. "Yours?"
"We haven't decided yet," Xander said dryly.
"No. That's something only we can decide together, dear."
"Oh. Okay." She huffed but she had to accept it.
"Married people things," she told that 'auntie' and her Aunt Tara.
Tara smiled and nodded. "Definitely married people things.
Is she coming home with me tonight?" Xander leered at Peter, who
smirked back. "I'll take that as a yes." She hugged
Olivia. "Let's get food ready." She nodded and they grabbed
everything from the fridge. Xander had ordered earlier and it only
needed to be heated up. All the cats but Dean's were put up
upstairs. She'd pee on something if they cooped her up
anywhere. She was presently on her human's shoulder purring at
him. The puppy was nicely napping in the sauna, where he had
decided was his spot. Xander had even put a puppy bed in there for
him. Tara glared when the cat sniffed at the food. "Don't
even think about it or I'm spanking your human."
Dean moved away from the food areas. "That might hurt," he teased her with a grin.
"Your kitty wife is very possessive," Sam agreed.
John shook his head. "No cats in the Impala."
"She helped me change the oil the other day," Dean said. "She got a box in the backseat and she liked it a lot."
Xander was snickering. "John, at least his wife doesn't throw things all over the car."
"Still no. No cats, supernatural or otherwise, in the Impala unless you're taking them to be uncursed."
"How they get to vet vet's then?" Olivia asked him. "Kitty wife needs shots like I do."
John smiled. "They can take a cab."
She waved a hand. "'Spensive and not pretty. No need when
have car or your truck." She bounced back to help with the food,
sneaking a bite of green pepper from the veggie tray. "We plant
"We can, yes." Tara smiled down at her. "We have a whole lot
of veggies we can plant. We'll try all new ones so we can find
things we both like." Olivia beamed and nodded, snatching a carrot
to walk off nibbling. She climbed up her uncle/cousin and hugged
He smiled. "Am I a tree now?"
She nodded. "But not a sad tree. You get hugs for being a good boy."
"Thanks, Olivia." He cuddled her. "Xander, I won't tell my
aunt about this," he said quietly. Xander nodded he understood
why. "Thanks." He grinned. "It's good that this one's
not insane like the others."
"Yes it is," Beckett said with a smile for him. "Peter's a lot
nicer than anyone I expected him to settle down with." George
smiled and got Olivia another piece of vegetable for her nibbling
pleasure. The others got their own dinners and sat down to talk to
Peter, threaten him subtly if he hurt Xander, and in Faith's case prove
she was tougher by arm wrestling him - which nearly broke his
arm. She smirked at him and he nodded slightly back. Beckett
looked over. "You two need to find an indoor golf center for the
"Mickey found one," Xander said with a grin. "A driving range and
an indoor seven-hole course." Peter grinned at his nephew.
"Golf's weird but if you like it so much it must be a good date," Mickey
quipped. They all laughed but Olivia got her golf set out so she
could show them how nice it was. Even in a dress. Though
she'd never expect her uncles to golf in a dress. They wouldn't
look half as pretty as she did in one. She'd have to keep that in
mind when they were shopping for the pretty, expensive dress for the
wedding. Her uncle had to have a pretty, sparklie one that made
him look pretty for her Uncle Peter. His could be found by the
others he knew. She'd help of course. She had to make sure
his friends wouldn't make them any less pretty than they usually
You never knew when someone would make you unpretty on purpose because they were mean.
to next story
back to writer index