Olivia was in the library with Tara for a short time. Daycare had
been cut short by an inspection. The inspectors hadn't wanted to
cut it short but they found a problem with the water lines that the city
had supposedly fixed. Namely that they had switched the water and
sewer lines. So they were fixing it that day - the inspector had
called his contacts and the press to let them know so they were working
overtime without much complaint. Olivia was in the magazines,
looking for the pretty dress ones. She found one with the pretty
white dresses and carried it back to the desk to sit in her corner and
look at pictures. She found one she thought would look nice on her
uncle and held it up. "This one?" she asked.
Tara looked down at her. "What?" she asked, smiling at her niece.
"This one for Uncle Xander."
Tara looked. "No, he doesn't need a dress, dear. I promise
he doesn't." Her coworker was giving them a funny look. Tara
smiled back. "She wants him to be pretty for when he and Peter do
"Oh," her fellow librarian said with a nod and a smile. "Dear,
boys don't wear dresses. Even your uncle. He'd need a nice
suit or a tuxedo. That's what boys wear instead of pretty
"Oh." She blinked a few times, looking at the picture. "He'd
look better in this one." She let her see it. "It's
sparkly, it's not going to make him need bigger boobies, and it'd make
his butt look nice like they say on tv."
Tara kept herself from giggling. "We'll talk to Xander about that
but I'm pretty sure he'd like to have a suit that would make Peter
"Drool, yuck," Olivia complained. "Too many drool but are bad
guys. Uncle Peter has to not drool so he's not bad. Like
Missy says, the only good droolers are baby droolers." She sat
back down to look through the magazine. "Do I get dress like this
one?" she asked, frowning at it. "It's not pretty."
"No. We'll get you something that'll make you look very pretty and
sweet." Olivia beamed and went back to her window shopping.
Tara and her coworker shared a look. Tara smiled. Her
coworker went to dust the shelves and laugh herself silly. Olivia
held up a picture and she looked. "That would look good on Alexis,
not on you or me."
"Shoot. When does she need a pretty dress?"
"Not for years yet. Her dad's working on her scary research
cabinet." Olivia beamed and ran off to get one of the gun
magazines, bringing it back to pick out stuff for her favorite sitter's
scary cabinet. They had a lot of great ideas and a few were even
decorated so they weren't so bland.
Tara picked up the first magazine but Olivia snatched it to flip through
with the other one. She kept comparing guns to the dresses so
apparently she was picking out an arsenal for Xander to wear on his
special day too. She loved Olivia, no matter how strange she was.
Olivia crawled up into John's lap that night with the magazines.
She had taken some of the free bookmarks to mark the ones she liked
best. She opened to that one and the guns she liked with it.
"These go together for the wedding," she told him, looking up at him
with a grin.
He stared at them then at her. "I don't think you need a wedding dress yet, Olivia."
"For Uncle Xander," she sighed, giving him a dirty look. "See,
guns go nicely with dress. Could be hidden since have pockets to
reach in through. Crown thingy is sharp and pointy. And this
gun would make pretty decoration since it's so pretty."
John looked and nodded. "That is a nicely decorated gun,
yes." Peter and Xander were staring at them from ends of the
couch. "Go show your uncles."
She took them over there carefully so she didn't lose her place, then climbed up between them to tell them her ideas.
"Lorne's partner could use that," Peter decided. "Might look nice
on her." Olivia beamed. "But Xander is not a girl so he can
wear suit." She changed pages and pointed at one. "No, I do
not need pretty dress either. We can wear suits." Olivia
pouted. "You can help us pick them out so we do not look bad
against each other."
She beamed. "Of course I help, silly. That way your friends not
make you unpretty on purpose." She patted him on the hand.
"Does she need dress?"
"I do not know. I will ask." She beamed and put back in the
bookmarks, laying the magazines on the table so she could get something
to nibble on. "Dinner is in an hour."
"Hungry," she pouted.
"One piece of fruit or one veggie," Xander said.
"Thank you." She found what she wanted after some digging and
settled in on the porch. She came back in to get the dress book,
taking it out to Dean. It had one that would look good on him or
Uncle Sammy. It even had green bits to match their eyes.
"Here, for when need more than kitty wife."
Dean looked at the pretty dress. It had green leaves embroidered
on it. "It's very pretty for my future non-kitty wife." She
stared at him. "Boys don't usually wear dresses, 'Liv. Even
the really pretty, expensive ones for special things."
"Poo. That's not letting them be pretty." She sat on his lap to go
over why the dress would look good on him. Including that it
would highlight what little boobies he had. Sam heard and walked
off to go down to the warehouse instead of commenting. "I'll show
him later." She went back to it. Dean looked very confused
but that was okay. Some day a good girl would make him pretty and
less confused. The kitty wife would learn to share him.
Inside John had to go to the bathroom to cackle. She was such a smartass without meaning to be. He loved Olivia.
Xander smiled at the reporter there to interview him for the newest book. "Hi."
"Alexian," she said, shaking his hand with a smile. "I see Olivia's been shopping?" she teased.
He looked at the dress magazines and sighed, shaking his head.
"She's decided I need to wear a pretty dress if I do something with my
guy." He grinned and found the one she had pointed out. "She
picked this one out for me and picked out some nice weapons to wear
"Awww." She looked at it then at him. "That would actually flatter your figure."
He flipped. "She decided Sam and Dean could share this one. It'd go nicely with their shotguns."
She looked and smiled. "They would. She has nice
taste." She grinned at him. "Does that mean that we'll hear
announcements? I know that there was a mistaken rumor that Rick
Castle got married."
"No, he was a witness that day." He grinned. "Ask Peter when
you interview him." They set up and Olivia came out to help him
fix his hair then went back to playing with the educational system they
had gotten her. "Daycare's water issue."
"I saw that story." She settled in to go over things with
him. He was always so easy to interview, even if he did hint and
tease a few times. Then Olivia came out, she had even changed into
something nice and brushed her hair, with the catalogs. She
interrupted to give her opinion on which dresses would look best and to
get the reporter's opinion on it. She smiled and helped her.
It was charming of the little girl. Xander groaned a bit but he
finally got her to put them up and come back so he could braid her hair
since they were going to the park in a while. She smiled at
him. "A wedding dress and weapons?"
"In case bad guys who drool too much show up," Olivia agreed, coming
back with a hair thing and a comb. She smiled. "Everyone
needs to have a good scary cabinet or warehouse of stuff to drive off
the ones that drool. Drooling is bad unless you're teething."
The reporter smiled and nodded. "That's very true, Olivia.
Boys should not drool on pretty girls." Olivia beamed at
her. Peter came down the stairs and took her to do her hair.
She looked at Xander. "Is there news that she's hinting at?"
Xander grinned. "Ask Peter."
"Peter? Dear, is she hinting at something upcoming?"
Peter looked at her. "Perhaps."
She pouted. "It's no fair I don't get to hear."
"When we announce it, we'll go through you. Pending someone leaking it," Xander promised.
She grinned. "Thank you, Alexian. Have a good day in the park with the baby."
"Her daddy's cousin is showing up to take her out. He gets about a day a week with her."
"That's sweet of him." She shook his hand and they packed up,
going back to the station. Her producer her loved Olivia's helpful
input. They called Paula about it. Paula talked to Xander,
who sighed but said they could show it he guessed.
Paula showed up the next morning. "Olivia has her own Twitter feed."
"That's funny, she can't type yet," Xander quipped, staring at her.
"Whoever started it thought it was adorable that you needed a research
cabinet or a warehouse to keep the drooling ones off you."
"It certainly helps," Peter said, sipping his coffee.
"Definitely," Xander agreed. "Should I pout that she's more popular than I am?"
"Not quite yet," she admitted. "Close though. They posted other videos of her wisdom."
Xander found his laptop and found her feed, watching the videos.
He groaned, shaking his head. "They should ask some of the people
in the daycare." He shut down his laptop and walked off.
Peter smiled. "She is very wise and smart."
"She is, yes. Someone wanted to know if they could interview her."
"No," Xander called from upstairs.
"Okay, I'll tell them you said that." She walked off
smiling. Olivia was her favorite baby. Even Alexis hadn't
been that cute.
Peter listened to Xander bang his head on something hard. "It will
be fine and people will forget her," he called, taking a sip of his
coffee. When it kept going on, he went up to stop him and take his
mind off all that.
Rick sat down beside Beckett's desk, handing over his phone pulled up to
a page. She read it, tipping her head to the side. "That's
"It is. She's the new hot thing to follow on Twitter."
Beckett changed videos, staring at the next one. "Huh." When
she went back to the feed, there was a new comment from the
daycare. Or supposedly from the daycare. "It's good that
she's promoting reading, even though she admitted potty training is
hard." She handed it back and shook her head quickly. "Is
"Peter said he's banging his head on a closet door."
"I would be too."
"He's refused to let her do interviews."
She smiled. "Good!"
"No one has any idea who started it for her."
Esposito came in and tossed his notebook on the desk, heading for the
coffeepot. "There's no one there that knows anything.
Including their names most of the time."
"Olivia's got a huge following on Twitter," Rick called after him.
Esposito walked out to stare at him. "What?" Rick grinned as
he showed him. He groaned. "Xander's got to be banging his
head on something." He went back to getting his cup of
caffeine. When he came back he sat down and sent an email to
Xander to make sure he knew about it.
Xander sat down to log in and type out a message. He counted to make sure it would fit the 140 character limit.
Alexian Harris says:
//I would like to talk to the person who started this. Olivia
can't type and is 2. We don't want her harmed. Please email
Peter looked over his shoulder. "That is polite and good
reason." He took a kiss then went to make a snack for them.
"How long are you going to wait before you escalate it?"
"Today. If I haven't heard something by tonight I'm going to ask
politely in the press." He smiled. "That's a very dangerous
thing to start at her age."
"It is. Especially with those who might hurt her to get back at you or for an apocalypse."
Xander nodded. "Definitely. Then I'd start to kill
people." He went to figure out what he was wearing and who to talk
Peter shook his head. Xander had an easy relationship with a few
reporters. It was something he'd never be able to do.
Clearly Xander had learned much from Rick.
Xander smiled at the reporter. "Do we have any idea on that feed?" he asked her.
"I know a tiny bit."
"I really do want to talk to this person. With how young Olivia
is, this is dangerous. People could stalk her or hurt her.
I'd never want to have to kill someone for hurting Olivia. I will
but I'd hate myself for a few minutes. Especially since someone
tried to get into her daycare today to take her picture."
The reporter winced. "A reporter?"
"No. A blogger." He smirked. "They got arrested.
Quickly. I'd like to thank the NYPD for acting long before I got
called about it."
"I'm glad they could stop that. It is dangerous for someone her age."
"Yes, it is. Especially if I find someone stalking her." He
grinned. She shivered. "So I'm going to ask politely.
I'd like to *politely* talk to whoever started that to make sure that he
wants to protect her the same way I do. So that no one wants to
stalk her, hurt her, or anything else. I don't want to be mean to
them. I don't want to sue them, nothing like that. Though,
if they get Olivia hurt...." He hummed. "I'm going to lose
it. I'm honest about that."
"You're very protective of Olivia. A lot of people like that," she said, smiling at him.
He grinned back. "I'm a good overprotective boob of an uncle." She
giggled and nodded. "But she's sweet and special. I want to
protect her from all this. That's why you guys hardly ever see
her anymore. I want her to grow up normal."
"I can understand that." Her assistant brought out an email and
then left. She read it. "The person who's doing the feed
wrote back that you need to butt out."
Xander smiled at the camera. "Either he and I talk or I'm going to
go from polite to sue in nanoseconds. Rodney taught me that
definition so I'm pretty sure I have it down pat now." He smiled
at her again. "I don't care if he's having fun with it. As
long as whoever is going to be as protective of Olivia as I am."
"I can fully understand that," she said. She patted him on the hand. "I hope you two can work that out."
"So do I. I want Olivia to do great things some year. I want
to send her to a great college, watch her get a PhD or two, and so
something great for humanity."
"You don't want her to hunt?"
"We'll be telling her how to protect herself but no I don't want her to
hunt. Her hunting means that something horrible happened around
her and I'd hate that."
She nodded. "I understand. You don't want anything traumatic to happen like what happened to the Winchesters."
"Exactly." The assistant brought back another email. He read
it and nodded. "I'd still like to talk to him. Even via
email. I'm only concerned about her security. And I thank
you for helping me," Xander told her.
She smiled. "Olivia's adorable and I hope that my future daughters
are like her." Xander beamed. She shifted closer.
"I've heard rumors about you and your boyfriend?"
Xander grinned. "I promised Andrelina that story when it
happens." He winked but grinned. "But I can see that there's
possibility of pictures soon. Banned authors is coming up."
She blinked. "Or there's a possibility of a new movie..."
She squealed and beamed. "Soon probably."
He nodded. Paula texted him and he looked then at her, showing her
the email. She gaped. He grinned. "Plus Peter's first
book is being turned into one too. He said you did a good job
with his first on-air interview."
She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind." She winked and the
producer cut. "Seriously?" Xander leaned over to hiss in her
ear. Her mouth flopped open. He grinned. "Wow."
"They finally came to an agreement that he could be himself during interviews."
"And that agents wouldn't show up to try to kill him or me again."
He grinned. "Of course, I wrote him into something but I was
*real* subtle." He winked. "There's a contest on my site to
see if you can find him. If you can you get an autographed set of
everything." He strolled off. "If they contact you again,
send them my way."
"Of course, Alexian. Thank you."
"Welcome." He grinned. "She got it because she was there
when Olivia was planning my dress." He went to go home and see if
that person had written yet. He had, which was a good thing.
Especially since a few people had made stalker-like statements about
Olivia. He was all about not getting his ass kicked by Xander and
Peter, and also not getting sued for encouraging someone to stalk a
baby. Xander looked at Peter. "What's on tomorrow's
"Hiring her a bodyguard?" Peter guessed. Xander nodded, handing
over the laptop. He growled. "I have friends who can trace
"By law, we can't do anything unless they make specific moves toward
her. If they do, then I'm going to let you stop me." He
Peter nodded. "I would want my own part of the beating."
They shared a kiss then he typed in something under his author
name. It reminded a few of them that Olivia was not-yet three and
had highly overprotective family members. One of them signed off
immediately. The others toned down their discussion.
The phone rang and Xander answered it. "What?"
"Xander, I'm on with the Twitter people. Do you want it shut down?"
"The person who runs it agreed that we needed to protect her."
"Have you seen what's been said recently?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah." He sent a message to the guy, who agreed he could
start it under a better name. "He said he'll start it under a
better name and watch it," Xander told her.
"Done," she said then hung up.
A few minutes later the feed was shut down with a large message saying
that the messages constituted a threat to a child. Peter sighed
and nodded. Xander grinned back. He found an innocuous video
of Olivia spazzing out and sent that over. It made her look like a
The guy got a new one set up within minutes and had it monitored a lot
more closely. The first one that put up a comment that was
questionable got removed immediately. They got reported by what he
said. That made the overprotective uncle and his highly
protective spouse much happier. They even sent over the garden
video. That got a lot of cute comments and they happily said that
Xander had sent it over.
Xander put his laptop aside and looked around. "It's quiet without her fussing over us."
"It is," Peter agreed. "She will be back in the morning. I
had plans of us going to dinner." Xander beamed and got up to
shower and change. Peter checked his watch. They could
easily make the reservations. Xander came down in a suit that
looked very good on him. Peter went to change into something very
nice as well. Then they went to dinner and made it a game to avoid
all the cameras. That was great fun to them.
Paula walked up to where the guys were in the park, staring at the girl
reading between them. With two officers growling at someone.
"I'm very proud that you let the NYPD officers handle it, boys."
She smiled. "Thank you for being authors for a few days."
Xander grinned back. "Olivia said it'd make me dirty and there's cameras."
"Obviously." She smiled at Olivia. "How is your writing going?"
"Just behind potty training," Xander said dryly.
She smiled. "It'll happen." She patted the baby on the head. "You missed an interview?"
"No, I called her. I told her why and she said it was fine.
We talked about the new book. We talked about Peter, and she
thought he is very cute. She agreed with Olivia about the dress
choice." Paula rolled her eyes and shook her head. The guy
crying between the officers sneered at him. Xander glared.
"I don't have an interview and the cameras are gone, dude. Plus,
there's Dean." He pointed with a grin.
"Dean!" Olivia called with a smile and a wave. "Hi!"
"Hi, 'Liv," he called, waving back. He paused to get a drink.
"Ohmygod, you're Dean Winchester!" a female voice yelled and he had to duck being pounced.
"I may be but no pouncing. Especially not in front of
Olivia. Dad would be *so* pissed off." He walked off.
He got about twelve steps and then he got pounced for real from
behind. There were more than a few this time and they were all
cooing, playing with his hair, and feeling him up. "Hey!" he
Olivia stomped over there with her fiercest scowl. "You leave my
Uncle Dean alone before I whip your asses," she said firmly, hands on
her hips. She was tapping a foot. "Get off him, now!
Before Grandpa helps me spank you!" One giggled. The
officers helped pull them off him.
"Don't make me come over there," Xander called. They tried to
flee. "Olivia, come get a drink." She escorted Dean back,
patting his hand with a 'poor baby, they won't pounce you again' on the
Dean grinned at her. "Thanks, Olivia."
"You're welcome. You need *good* girls, not ones who should be in
corner until they wear clothes that don't hang out butts. You're
not pretty like that!" She sat down with a huff and took her juice
to sip from.
Dean sat down to drink his water too. Sam nearly got just as
mobbed but Tara was with them and she wind-gusted them away. John
followed but he was armed so they ran. Dean looked at them.
"I need mine," he told his father.
"Ooooh, he likes guns!" a female voice squealed. "We have to make him like good girls! Before Alexian claims him."
"I've got one of my own already," Xander called impatiently. "Shut
up and please leave Dean alone? Before Olivia has to lose her
temper?" They got escorted off. Xander sighed, looking at
his niece. "I have no idea."
"They stupid heads," she told him. "Clearly stupid heads and want
to be mommies so they can be lost like mine is. That way Grandpa
has babies to raise."
"I'd never accept someone like that marrying the boys, Olivia," John
said. He sat down. "What happened?" He pointed at the
guy in cuffs.
"He tried to pounce Olivia." Xander sipped his juice. "They got him for me."
"Good!" Sam said, glaring at him. The guy crawled after the
officers. They came back to get him before he could escape.
Sam smiled and waved. "Thanks, guys. We hate having to go
scary over her." They smiled back.
Olivia patted him on the cheek, making Sam look at her. "If you
get too scary, you'll only get bad girls who drool. Then you'll
need a warehouse."
Sam grinned and hugged her. "I'll borrow Xander's since he doesn't need his anymore."
"We can share," Peter agreed. "I only had a drawer before but most of the drooling ones avoided me because of golf."
Xander snickered. "Yet you made golf hot, Peter. They clearly underestimated how hot you are with a club."
Peter smirked at him. "We have that event tonight."
"I know." His phone rang with a message so he looked at it.
"Paula said that the Treasury finally released one of my accounts.
That's awfully nice of them." He wrote back about the
others. They finally left, Xander pausing to pick up their suits
for the banned books event. Olivia nagged John into getting them
stuff with fruit for lunch and then they went home to help Xander and
Peter get pretty for later. Olivia loved that and the three
Winchesters babysitting tonight made her happy too. Dean's kitty
wife was mean when he wasn't there.
Peter walked the sleepy man back into the house, steering him away from
the couch and up the stairs. He carefully got Xander undressed
then did his own, climbing in next to him. Xander purred and
nuzzled. "Why is bed wet?" He got up and looked.
"Dean?" he called.
"It wasn't her. Olivia climbed in to read her bedtime story to
herself because she was pouty that Dad wouldn't read to her. She
had a bottle of water. Sorry." He came to the
doorway. "Didn't realize she had spilled it."
"That is fine." He got Xander up and onto his chair in there,
which usually only held shoes or him when he was putting them on, then
changed the bed and flipped the mattress. That helped and then
they got to go back to bed. Xander nuzzled and crawled as close as
he could. Peter looked at him. This was a new form of
cuddling. He heard the sneeze and mentally groaned.
Xander got cuddly when he got sick. He would have to make sure
that Xander got better faster. Being this cuddled would hamper him
if something like another break-in happened. He shifted and
rolled behind Xander, holding him. Xander moaned in pleasure and
that worked well. So they had worked that out easily. He
fell asleep with Xander snoring.
Olivia snuck into her uncles' room, staring at them. She sighed
then went running for Sam. He'd know what to do. "Unclie
sick," she said, waking him up by poking him. "Unclie sick."
Sam blinked at her. "What sort of sick?"
"He snore so he sick."
Sam pulled her up to hug her. "We'll make sure he gets some
medicine." She nodded, cuddling him. "It's really
early," he said after a glance at his clock. "Why are you up?"
"Not sleep. Kitty woke me."
"Ah." He got up to help her check on the cats. The litter
boxes got cleaned even though they were mostly clean. The food
bowl was empty so that's why they had woken their feeding slaves.
Olivia curled up on a chair to go back to sleep. Sam covered her
with a throw blanket, smiling at the cuteness. Then he looked at
the cabinets. No cold medicine. John came down giving him a
dirty look. "The cats woke her. She said Xander's sick
enough to snore."
"He sounded a bit hoarse yesterday." He started a pot of
coffee. "Does he have anything this week?" Peter came down
the stairs. "Does he have medicine?" Peter shook his head,
making some tea to bring upstairs. "I'll run out and get some."
"He said he doesn't take it," Peter said.
"Tough. He can't be sick for that long." He took some coffee
with him to the big chain store up the road. He came back with
two different types of medicine, handing them to Peter since he was
making breakfast. John got more coffee and checked on Olivia.
"Let her sleep," Peter said. "The cats woke her up three times last night."
"Their food bowls were empty," Sam said. Peter smiled. Peter
carried the breakfast up there. Sam made his and his father's
breakfast. Dean came stumbling down the stairs with his cat
following him. The cat pounced Olivia and curled up in the warm
She swatted her. "Move. My warm spot!" She cuddled up
again when Dean moved the cat. The cat snuggled in and Olivia went
back to sleep. John got the ear thermometer to use on her.
She swatted at him but he grimaced. "Not sick," she ordered.
John looked at her. "Bull. You're running a fever."
"But daycare," she whined.
"Go curl up with your uncle and we'll get you some medicine. You
can probably go tomorrow if you're better." She pouted but carried
the cat and blanket up there. Xander let her curl up next to
him. John found the baby tylenol for her. He carried up the
big kid medicine too. Peter dosed them both and let them nap
together. John smiled slightly at the other man. "It's the first
sickness and the first fight that shows how strong your marriage
is." Peter nodded he understood that. "Thankfully it's
"I hope it does not get worse."
"We all hope so. Olivia's going to be pouty and miserable."
"She is not one I'm worried about."
"Good point. I've never seen Xander when he was sick.
Usually it's his 'I'm fine' thing and he hides. Dean did tell me
that he'll hide from Tara fussing over him."
"Thankfully Olivia cannot fuss as much." He went up to write in
the bedroom. Xander was curled around Olivia using her as a teddy
bear. Peter smiled, going down to type in the living room
instead. The cats came over to help but that was them being cats
he supposed. "Xander is in bed." The cats didn't care.
Dean took them up there and they decided to cuddle up with the cuddly,
sick things. Peter wrote Paula to warn her he was sick. She wrote
back advice for taking care of Xander without making him hide. He
smiled at the advice. At least Xander wouldn't be able to hide
from him. He heard the panel buzz and stared at it before getting
up to answer it. "What?"
"That's real friendly," a male voice said. "Is my uncle there?"
"I will be right down, nephew." He hung up. "Is the other
nephew." He went down to talk to him. "Baby and Xander are
sick," he said. "How are you, Nicholas?"
His other nephew looked him over. "I'm not sure."
"Why are you not sure?"
"If I'm mad."
"I did not tell Mickey first either."
"He at least got to meet your intended first. Though I'm not sure
if I'm mad that you got married to a guy. It's not exactly good
with my beliefs."
Peter shrugged. "Does not matter to me."
His nephew nodded. "Good. That means it's not just a cover or something."
"I would never go that far for a cover." He stared at him. "I am not shallow. Neither is he."
"I've heard of him. Are you staying retired? Because I know he jumps into things."
"We are both like National Guard. I have been for years."
His nephew nodded. "How sick is he?"
"We are hoping it is a cold. Both are snoring and pouty."
"Oh." He shifted then looked at his uncle again. "When are you going to introduce him to us?"
"Next week. I had planned dinner with your mother."
"She told me. That's how I found out about this when I asked
Mickey why we were having a family dinner. He reminded me of the
rumors I had heard."
"We are keeping this quiet. That way no one tries something.
Because we know there are idiots. One group keeps burning his
likeness every few months."
"I understand that. There's a few priests I work with who are
idiots like that." He stared at him. "I never considered you
with a guy."
Peter shrugged. "Is good for me." He smiled. "He is very good to me."
"That's good. I'd hate to try to kick his ass with Mickey's
help." Peter grinned. "Are you bringing the baby? Mom
would coo over her."
"Olivia would like more people to help her be pretty." His nephew
smiled. "It will be good." His nephew smiled. Xander
came out of the door and looked at him. "Xander, this is my other
nephew, Father Nicholas Kostmayer. This is Xander."
He held out a hand. "Welcome to the family."
Xander grinned. "Thanks." He shook it. "I'm sorry I'm sick."
"It's all right. We all get colds and stuff." He smiled at
his uncle. "You still should've told me instead of letting Mickey
"Mickey had seen a lot of him. I thought it better to tell you that way."
Xander yawned, putting his head on Peter's shoulder. "It was kind
of fast and out of the blue or we could've met sooner." He yawned
again. "Do you play golf too? You can join us at the driving
"That might be nice." He smiled. "You should go back to bed."
Xander nodded. "Olivia kicked me out." Peter laughed,
smiling at him. "I'm going to nap on the couch. Nice to meet
you." He went back inside.
Peter smiled at his nephew. "He is very unique and very sweet."
"He seems like it." He smiled. "I'll tell Mom why since Mickey didn't."
"I expected him to."
"I think he ran from it." He smiled and shifted, looking around. "Who's that?"
"Reporter," Peter admitted. "They are a fact of life when you have best selling book."
His nephew looked at him. "I heard. Mom squealed."
Peter grinned. "Good job, Uncle. He seems nice." He
batted him on the arm. "Should we expect news about wanting more
kids some year?"
"I leave that to him. He has Olivia. Tara is thinking of having one."
"That's good. Let me make Mom squeal." He walked off
happier. Xander seemed a lot nicer than he did in the news when he
had to handle things. His mother was waiting when he got
home. She was standing in the doorway waiting on him. She
didn't look pleased either. "It's a family dinner to announce they
went to City Hall." He stayed out of grabbing range. His
mother would shake him. She was making squeaky noises. He
grinned. "I met Xander for a minute. He has a cold.
Uncle Peter said he'd bring Olivia too." His mother was still
making squeaky noises. This was a bad sign. He might need
Mickey to save him. Then she stomped off. He went
inside. Mickey was on the couch. "You didn't tell her?"
"I didn't want shaken."
She came back from the kitchen, staring at them. "He *married* that author boy?"
"Uncle Peter's book is being made into a movie," Mickey said. She
stared at him. He smiled. "They met when they went to Lorne
Cash's bar in DC during an author thing. They introduced him to
She sipped her coffee. "The little girl you see him with?"
"His niece Olivia. He and Tara share custody," Mickey said,
smiling at her. "She's adorable. She's a tough little thing
who likes to ambush people with her nerf crossbow, but it has to not
make her less pretty."
She almost smiled at that. "She always looks adorable."
Mickey got into his smartphone and showed her the Twitter feed.
"Is he throwing a fit?"
"They had to shut the first one," Mickey said. "A few went stalker
sounding." She grimaced but sat down to watch the videos it
linked to. She giggled at the dress one. "She's a great
little girl. She's charming, doesn't fuss, doesn't do picky eating
things. Loves vegetables."
"That's nearly amazing." She switched videos, snickering at the vegetable one. "She seems sweet."
"She has the same cold her uncle does," Nicholas said. Mickey
smirked at him. "Xander came down and cuddled up to Uncle Peter's
side, rested his head on his shoulder. I almost gagged."
"It's good that he doesn't try to out-tough it." His mother looked up. "He probably does the same thing I do."
"Probably," she agreed. "I always hated it when you did it."
She went back to watching. She was an adorable niece.
"She's Rosenburg's daughter but Xander and Tara are sharing custody since they're off-realm."
"Huh." She nodded, going back to it. When it rang she handed
it back to her son and went to make more coffee. The brothers
shared a grin. It was good their mother had accepted it and calmed
Xander looked up as his doctor walked into the exam room with a scowl. "I thought it was a cold."
"It appears to be a minor lung infection. I don't know from what."
"Daycare?" Olivia asked.
"Could be," she admitted, smiling at the little girl. She patted
her on the head. "It doesn't look like a foreign substance."
"From the gas attack?" Xander asked quietly.
"That's also possible. I looked over the notes on that. It's
possible that's why you're sicker than her but it's lasted a while."
"I remember coughing a lot."
She nodded. "The x-rays didn't show any damage then and the new
ones don't either. Just some inflamation. So I'm going to
put you both on something mild for it." Xander nodded. "Can
she take pills?"
"It's harder to get her to swallow them than it is to get the cats to take one."
"Okay, so liquid," she decided. "Yours too, Xander?" He
grinned and shrugged a bit. She smiled. "Also, I saw the
update to your records." She looked at him. "Does he know?"
"That there is something."
"Good to know. I haven't seen Agent Philips in here huffing about
things so I thought I should ask in case something happens."
Xander nodded. "He knows that there's some results that got locked
up beyond tight. He knows that there's something bad in my
blood. He doesn't know details."
"That's fine. He's your spouse, that's reasonable." She
wrote out the prescriptions and handed them over. "Come back in a
week." She handed them both lollipops. They grinned at
her. "Other than that, she's due a shot."
"Right before the start of school, Doc. That way she gets used to
going to the doc for shots right before school starts." He
unwrapped his and sucked on it.
"That's a good policy and she's not behind on them." She made that
note. "Make that appointment today as well." He
nodded. "Good boy. Get that filled. Make sure you guys
don't need shots for the upcoming signing things."
"That's next year."
"We'll look at the updated international shot schedule then." She
smiled. "She's good though." Xander nodded with a
grin. "I'm glad it's a happy marriage."
"Me too." They let her go and made their follow ups then went to
the pharmacy. They even picked up treats for putting up with them
when they're sick. The assorted hard candy jar was a good choice
for the family's tastes. The pharmacist gave them an odd look
about it being for liquid antibiotics but Xander shrugged. "I
can't swallow pills and she won't."
"Pills are bad for you," Olivia said. "They make you stupid and stupid isn't pretty."
The pharmacist smiled and nodded. "That's very true, dear."
He filled it and checked them out so they could pay for their treats
too. Then they went home.
Dean looked at the large jar of treats, grinning at them. "Thanks,
guys." He moved the cats from it. "They got treats."
Peter came out to get some, taking a kiss when Xander offered it. "Not a cold?"
"She thinks it's a lung infection. Some swelling without anything eating it."
"Gas?" Dean asked between bites.
"Could be. Not sure."
Dean nodded once. "They really need to die in jail."
Xander smirked. "The earlier ones that they were on bail for went
off yesterday. They got found guilty and sentenced to ten
years. That leaves the next one for the gas attack."
"So we're not going to see him again, hopefully," John decided, taking
the can of treats from his oldest son. He sat down and let Olivia
climb into his lap. "Medicine?" Xander checked, handing him
hers. He took his own. She took hers but grimaced and then
had to go back to her lollipop. The bottles went into the
refrigerator, on different shelves so they couldn't get mixed up.
He sat down to nibble on the treats himself, handing it to Peter when he
walked behind him. Peter smiled and got some to nibble on,
handing Xander his laptop. Xander grinned, getting into his
email. He also put up an update on his page about being a bit sick
with a cold. He put up a hint of what he was doing. Then he
laid down to rest. He still felt like crap.
"Paula would like to see something today," Peter said quietly.
Xander groaned but sat back up so he could email something to her.
Then he laid back down. Peter grinned. "You had some
"I had two whole chapters she hasn't seen as far as I know." His
email beeped so he looked at it. "The guy running Olivia's twitter
feed said that he's had to block someone twice now."
"Bad?" Sam asked, coming over to get some of the treats.
"Could be. He said he's turned them in to the Twitter people for
abuse." He wrote back and put his laptop aside. "The daycare
has not liked the feed. They somehow got some footage of her
nagging one of the other girls about not wanting her hair
brushed." John grinned, he had seen that.
"It needed it. Knots hurt," Olivia assured him.
"They do, yes," Peter agreed with a smile. He got back to his own
book. Xander was well ahead of where he needed to be, as usual, so
he could finish napping the infection off. He did take some more
of the treat and let the Winchesters have the rest.
A detective walked up to Beckett's desk, not finding her. "Is
Detective Beckett not here?" he asked the two watching detectives.
"Court," Esposito said. "We're her partners. Is there a problem?"
"Something got turned in to us about a possible pedophile but the file on the child said to talk to her."
"Someone's stalking Olivia Rosenburg," Ryan said, staring at him.
The detective nodded. "They had to close the first twitter feed
because of that sort. Is he local?"
"Very." He handed over the file he had. "Who is she?"
"The niece of Alexian Harris," Esposito said, earning a wince.
"She's a good little girl, very sweet. They just decided she was
cute after that one interview."
"I agree. I saw one of the videos they posted." He grinned. "Is she in daycare?"
"She's been sick for the last few days so they're at home," Esposito
said, taking the file from his partner. "Hmm. I haven't seen
anything about him. Are you SVU?"
"Let me get someone I know." He called. "It's Detective Ryan
in Homicide. I need someone from your people here to talk about a
file Internet Crimes brought us." He smiled. "That'll work,
thank you." He hung up. "Give him ten minutes to refill his
coffee then he'll come over." That got a nod. They sat down
to talk about the threats to Olivia that they knew of. Agent
Philips walked in and blatantly stole the file. "We've got someone
Philips looked at him. "We don't want Harris to overreact."
"They've both got a cold or something," Esposito said, leaning back in his chair.
"Good!" He handed it back. "Any idea who this person
is?" The other detective gave him that information. He
nodded. "Not on his drool patrol list or any of them that I
know." He looked him up. "No, nothing on anything in
"You're not with SVU?" the other detective asked.
"No." He smirked. "I used arrest most of her uncle's dates for being evil."
"That's good," he decided. The SVU detective came in. "Someone turned this in to me."
He took it to look over, nodding. "Why does she have a twitter
feed?" Detective Ryan showed him one of the videos. He
smiled. "Her uncle or whoever doesn't mind?"
"He had the first one shut down until the person who does that feed made
sure that no one could hurt her," Ryan said. "We all love
Olivia. She's a great little girl."
He nodded. "She seems like it." He walked off reading. "Anything else I should know?"
"It's not someone who is known to the family as far as I know," Agent Philips said.
"Xander would destroy anyone who came near the baby," Esposito said.
"I'd expect that and his...friend to remind him he wanted part," Philips said.
Ryan grinned. "That wasn't Beckett and Castle getting married," he said quietly.
Philips sighed. "At least he's not evil. It's a great thing I
suppose." The detectives grinned and nodded. "I'll see what
we're doing about briefing him about things." He walked off
shaking his head.
The two detectives smiled at each other then the Internet Crimes detective. "Things are always handled around Xander."
He nodded. "That's good." He walked off shaking his head.
Xander was watching the entertainment station when they profiled
arresting someone over Olivia. "I'm going to fuck someone up," he
"Olivia needs to tape something about making them go stand in the
corner," Sam joked. He got Olivia in the office to tell her that
she needed to tape something. She was all for it because it meant
she got to change. She came back down and sat down,
grinning. "No, you need to make them sorry for being
mean." She nodded and scowled, letting him tape the 'stand in the
corner' speech. Dean walked in and whispered in her ear. She
scowled harder and ordered it. Sam grinned and uploaded
that. A lot of people cackled that she was so fierce. It was well
liked by the followers. Xander and Peter were shaking their heads
but the boys were having fun with this.
Willow sighed, coming out of her meditation. "Xander and Tara still have her with the Winchesters watching over them."
Daniel looked at her. "I'm sure my cousin's there. The
Winchesters would make sure she's safe no matter what happens around
Xander. Even if he's dating."
"There was someone there I didn't recognize," she said, staring at her
husband. "He had a cute accent. Olivia sounded
sniffly. They were talking about her being online."
"She's a smart girl," he soothed, helping her up so he could rub her
stomach. "She'll be fine, Willow. Xander has it and Tara
would step in if not."
She nodded. "I know. I'm just worried. She's my little girl."
"I know. She's mine too." He stared at her. "Buffy's vision beside the point, she's not going to be harmed."
"I'm just worried. Her vision showed that Olivia wouldn't want to
stay with us." She was tearing up. "She's our daughter."
"It could be *years* before we get back. Which means Xander and
Tara would've raised her for most of her life. She might not
really remember us."
"Of course she does."
"It's been over a year there and nearly three here," he reminded
her. "If we get back before she's five it'll help that." She
huffed off. He sighed and followed to calm her down. He
found her and Buffy staring at the new headstone they had to put up
recently. "Did you see anyone in your vision with Xander?" he
"Yeah, I saw Xander marrying some guy." She looked at
Willow. "You checked in?" Willow nodded. "Was there a
light haired Russian guy?"
"A light haired guy, I didn't hear him talk," Willow said quietly. "Was he good?"
"As far as I could tell from the vision. Tara and John Winchester
were both sniffly. Olivia seemed happy with him. Dean and
Sam were standing up for Xander. So apparently they all liked
"So not evil," she said weakly. "I'm not sure how Olivia would
deal with that." He scowled. "I'm not sure if we talked to
her about that or if Tara's dating again."
"I'm sure Xander could explain boy-loving to her," Buffy
said. "He's good at writing things so maybe he wrote a
"Maybe," Willow sighed. She slumped down, rubbing her stomach. "What if she doesn't want to stay with us?"
"She's a smart, sensitive little girl," Daniel reminded her.
"We'll work it out." Willow nodded. "If we ever get
home." Willow grunted but got up and went to work on that.
Buffy smiled weakly at him. "How're you?"
"I'm okay," she said. "I'll be okay." He nodded, walking off
again. She needed time to work through her thoughts and
emotions. Daniel checked on their son. He was napping
peacefully at the moment. He had his mother's earth sense so
anytime something big was going on he screamed. It was good to see
him at peace again. Now if only the thing that had taken the rest
of the LA team sent them back. He could use backup from Fred and
Xander woke up panting, looking around. "Vision?" Sam asked from his seat typing something online.
"Yeah. Willow and them are going to show up during the
wedding." Sam looked at him. "Olivia's going to run to them
and then back. Then it flipped to a few weeks later and Olivia got
lost blipping back to us."
Sam nodded. "Okay, we can work on that." He sent a message to someone. "How many kids did she have?"
"Two and she miscarried one."
"That's dark magic," Sam said quietly. Xander stared at him.
"There's a way to power raise but it's one of the darkest of dark
magics." Xander nodded, snuggling back into his nest of pillows
and blankets on the couch. "Peter and Olivia are picking up
"That's fine." He blinked, yawning. "I'm more worried about her blipping back."
"That's going to hurt her," he agreed. "We'll talk to her about
traveling stuff when it gets closer to time." Xander yawned again
and drifted back off. Sam sent a text message to his father and
Peter. Best to be warned in case.
John glanced at his phone then back at Tara and her coven members.
She gave him a curious look so he showed her. She gaped then
huffed and nodded. "We'll talk to her."
"We need to. That's dangerous."
"It would be," he said. "How would she...."
Tara groaned, shaking her head. "It's a sacrificial magic
raising," she said quietly. "I'd slay her myself if she did
it." The rest of the coven looked at them. "Xander had a
vision of Willow and them showing up during his wedding and Willow
"We'll beat her ourselves," the head of the coven assured her.
"That is foul magic." They nodded. "If so, we'll help guard
the baby. It's a necessary thing to get them back but not that
"They're still on the same plane," John said. "They've shown up a few times doing something like a spirit walk."
They nodded, working on that problem. They could feel them now but
it looked like some were missing. John called someone in the
poker circuit. He got up and walked off talking about that
group. Something had to be done. Soon.
D'Hoffryn woke up panting, looking around. "That may not
happen." He got up and went to talk to the demon lords over a
certain plane. "Someone heard you are holding hostages," he said
in greeting. They glared at him. "It will cause a war to
start. Harris will bring a war to you to free them. He will
bring everything out of the warehouse to do so. His heirs over the
warehouse will help. It will breach all the agreements. It
will also let those that want to wake the God-King Illyria have a
chance. She will agree with Harris and finish what he didn't get
to destroy. It will teach Olivia Rosenburg of war and hunting."
"We do not want to see her hunt or Illyria reappear," one of them
said. The other demons nodded and looked at their realms.
D'Hoffryn pointed out which one it was. They checked and agreed
that it was a bad idea to keep them. Wesley, Fred, and Gunn were
not going to be able to handle things. They sent a word to the
demons who had them. They were going to kill them. Then
Xander showed up. He sneezed on them, which unknowingly spread a
disease they had no protection against, and then killed the one trying
to kill Gunn. The other demons banished them back to the LA
D'Hoffryn nodded his thanks and left. He went to LA to check on
them. "It is good that they did not want to see what war you would
bring," he said to Xander.
"I saw the prophecy about Olivia hunting," he said, sneezing
again. D'Hoffryn grimaced and disappeared. "Thank
you." He stared at them. "Guys, let's get back to New
York. We'll get you to a good healer," he said quietly. Fred
sniffled. He hugged her. "You're all right. You're
back." She nodded, hugging him. "C'mon, Olivia will want to
fuss." He texted a contact who could get them back to New
York. They landed in a public park. Xander looked
around. "Brooklyn?" He sighed and flagged down a cab while
texting John. "These guys need to hit Forrest Square," he said as
they got in. The cab driver gave them a dirty look but he got a
double take. Xander smirked. "This is part of the LA team."
"Yes, sir." He took them off. Harris even tipped, which he
appreciated. He called someone to let them know something had
happened so they could watch.
Xander walked them into the healer's office. "They were being held hostage."
The healer stared at them. "Only them?"
"So far," Xander agreed. He turned and sneezed. "Sorry."
She stared at him. "Did you do that on a demon realm?" He
nodded slightly. "Oh, dear. That's going to cause a
plague. Most aren't immune to colds." She called someone
while getting them some help. That got healers onto whichever
realm had them.
"Sorry," Xander said quietly.
"No, they probably deserved it." She checked Wesley over.
"You'll need some work on that back problem." He nodded
once. She got them worked over and then sent them to a human
ER. Xander followed after paying her. She smiled at her
bosses. "Harris sneezed while rescuing three of the LA team."
"We'll be on alert for their upcoming problems." She walked off to make some calls of her own.
Xander called a few people. "It's Harris." He sneezed
again. "Tell them I'm sorry if someone innocent gets my cold."
"I can do that," a female voice said. "Why did you call?"
"I helped rescue three of the LA team. Gunn, Fred, and Wesley."
"Oh, my," she breathed. "Are they all right?"
"Overnight observation." He sneezed again. "I'm told that my
sneezing is really bad so please apologize for any innocents?"
"I shall. Which hospital?"
"The ones at Forrest Square got them sent to St. Vincents."
"I will send someone to debrief them, Xander. Stay calm.
Take something for the cold." She hung up and ran to the City
Council's chamber. "Three of the LA team are at St.
Vincent's." They stared at her. "Harris called. He did
say to apologize for spreading his cold to whatever realm."
"I heard that D'Hoffryn intervened."
"There's that prophecy about Olivia hunting," she reminded them.
The head of the Council nodded. "They're in observation."
"We can go talk to them, see what happened," the head of the Council
agreed. She got up and walked off with her assistant. She
found Xander and John Winchester guarding them. "Harris, you
should be in bed babying that cold," she said, patting him on the
head. She walked into Wesley's room. "Hunter Wesley."
"Lady of the Council," he said with a head-nod.
She smiled. "I'm head of the local Council. We wanted an
account of what happened." Her assistant pulled a chair over for
her and she sat. "There are many worried about what Rosenburg will
do to retrieve themselves."
He swallowed and nodded. "When we were taken, we were split
off. Angel disappeared in a flash of light. We have no idea
where he or Spike are. Spike wasn't there when we landed. We
managed to get off the first realm to a second one, hoping for Pylea or
something mild like that. We ended up wherever we were saved
from." Her assistant got him some water to sip, making him
smile. "Thank you." He looked at her. "It wasn't a
polite confinement by any means but Xander got us from there."
She nodded. "As we have heard."
"Who has Olivia?" he asked.
"Xander and Tara both watch her. He has most of her
custody." Wesley smiled and sipped his water. "I'm sure you
will be seeing that one soon."
"Tomorrow," Xander said from the hallway.
She smiled out there then at him. "You are safe."
"I'm glad. The others?"
"Are still there as far as we know." He sighed but nodded. She
stood up. "We will talk tomorrow to get a full debrief?"
"Yes, of course."
"Good. We will tell our counterparts in LA as well. They
have guarded the building. Though I'm told the Council took all of
He nodded. "That doesn't surprise me any. I expected to see one of them."
"They were recently raided," she said. "Someone got quite upset
with them." She walked out to talk to the others. They would
guard them as well as Harris and Winchester. That way Harris
could go home and quit spreading his germs around.
Olivia walked up to the three people waiting in the antechamber of the
Council's meeting area. "Unclie said you guys deserved Oreos," she
said with a smile. She stared at Gunn looking confused. "Do
I know you?"
"You used to. We worked with your Mommy," Fred said.
"Oh!" She beamed and smiled. "Good yous then." She
gave them the cookies and a hug. "Did Daddy find you?"
"No, we got separated from your parents," Wesley said, smiling at
her. "I'm sure they're working on coming home soon." She
beamed. "Why are you wandering around by yourself?"
Olivia cleared her throat and clearly tried to imitate her uncle.
"No touching Olivia or I destroy everyone." She giggled and
grinned at the nearest demon.
"Yes he would. If he didn't, one of the Winchesters would."
"Then they're watching out for her?" Wesley asked.
"Definitely. The whole family really." He smiled. "He considers Olivia like a grandchild."
"Even though I did see that prophecy that said she'd better never *have*
to hunt," John said as he joined them. He picked up Olivia,
looking at her. "Did you lose Aunt Tara again?"
"She's talking to someone about my future baby sister." She grinned. "So I let her have privacy."
"That's very nice of you." He kissed her on the head. "Go
talk to the nursery person. They have plants that they can't
fix." She wiggled down and ran to find them. The demon
watching showed her where it was. There were tons of sad
plants! Clearly work for her. John smiled. "She's
picked up on Tara's herbal skills. She's a very bright little girl."
"I'd say she is," Gunn agreed, nibbling on a cookie. "Xander sent us cookies?"
"Xander got his ass put back in bed by his husband." They all
gaped. He smirked. "Peter's around here somewhere."
"I was watching mural that moves," Peter admitted from up the
hallway. He came into view. "Xander is napping off cold
"Ah," they said and nodded. John snickered.
"Guys, this is Peter Yurchenko, Xander's spouse. He's also now a writer, retired from the more dangerous things."
Peter smiled and nodded. "We agreed being the National Guard was a
good job. Raising Olivia was most important unless world is
Tara walked out and hugged him then the three missing team members, then
John. John stared at her, smiling. "Did someone do a happy
"I go in for my first attempt tomorrow." He hugged her back. She grinned at them. "I've got baby envy."
"Olivia is sweet enough to encourage that," Peter said her with a smile. "She nearly did in my nephew Mickey."
One of the demons in the antechamber with them grimaced. "Your
nephew is Mickey Kostmayer?" he asked. Peter smirked and
nodded. "He's like a more sour version of Xander."
"They share traits but Mickey makes me proud," Peter said. He
stared at him. "If you run into him on the job, then you deserved
"Probably, yeah." He shook his head quickly. "Our landlord
was doing dirty things to try to force us out. One of the human
neighbors called his boss." Peter nodded. "At least he
didn't flinch about us." Xander stomped in. "Ah!" he shouted
and pointed. "You're sick. A lot of us can't get colds or
Xander stared at him. "You take flu shots, you're immune. I'm not going near the egg nursery and I got called."
Peter tested his forehead then kissed it. "You need chocolate milk
and more rest." Xander grinned at him. Olivia came running
out to pounce him and babble about the plants. Xander and Peter
let her and then hugged her. She babbled at Tara too, getting
cuddled and Tara came to help her. The group was let into the
Xander looked at Fred, grinning. "Did she remember you guys?"
"Almost," Gunn said quietly.
Xander nodded. "She knows her daddy. She still makes books
read in his voice. She thinks that Willow is lost like a lost dog
movie." They smiled at him. "She thinks all mommies have to
get lost for a few hours at the least. Tara will maybe go for a
weekend then come back."
"She wanted us to give her siblings as well," Peter said.
"She thinks the new baby will make us want one more," Xander agreed.
"I like the little one we have at the moment. Perhaps when she is in school we will talk?"
Xander grinned and nodded. "Maybe when she's ten. That way she can babysit sometimes and it's good birth control."
Peter smiled. "Babies can be, yes. I'm sure I can find many
retired ones who might want to spawn by then." Xander laughed.
"If so, we'll make sure his future offspring doesn't bounce like he does
on chocolate," the head of the Council said. They grinned at
her. Olivia came running in with Tara behind her. "Thank you
for helping the plants, Olivia."
"You're welcome." She beamed. "Plants have to be happy to be healthy."
"Yes they do." She smiled at the three hunters. "What do you
know of what happened? We have the LA Council's report on the
"We know who did it," Tara said. "And they're very sorry."
"Mostly of the dead variety," Xander added.
Tara nodded with a smile for them. "The young watcher that started
it off got sent out to a bad area. He didn't survive long.
The witches were punished by the coven themselves, who have been angry
that they couldn't undo it."
"It took them six months to be able to connect with Willow to check on them," Xander said.
"We were split off within minutes of us getting there," Wesley said,
nibbling on a cookie. "The original realm we landed on was bad and
we managed to get off it by pooling our energy. It let us summon a
wish demon who allowed us to wish ourselves onto another plane.
We were hoping for Pylea and asked for it."
"Hmm. I have a report from D'Hoffryn that says that one is locked
off from placing people there. Or else he might have allowed
it." She looked at Fred. Who slumped. Gunn patted her
on the back. "Not because of what you went through there."
"There's a group of ancient demons that want to use you to resurrect
their God-King demon," Xander said, grinning at her. "You'd be her
"Eww." Fred took Olivia to cuddle. "I used to walk the
floors with you all the time, young lady. You were cranky
sometimes at night."
Olivia stared at her. "Thank you." Fred smiled and hugged
her. Olivia hugged back. "Are they staying here?" she asked.
"Up to them," Xander said.
"Is LA covered?" Wesley asked.
"Most of Gunn's people are still there. John's sent a few hunters
that way more often. Anything huge and we handle it before it gets
that way hopefully."
"There hasn't been anything too huge since the invasion," John
said. "The hunters out there have been keeping track and there's
been a few bigger names appear but most were on a holy pilgrimage to the
"Which still seems odd," Tara said.
"There's a historical remembrance of the Old Ones trapped in the Deeper
Well," the head of the council said. They all nodded. "It
should not come to a battle."
"That'd be appreciated," John Winchester said dryly. Peter laughed
and nodded. "I don't even want to imagine that battle."
"Explosives," Xander said slowly and clearly. "No more problem."
"Your illness is making you mean," one of the Council said.
"Opening the hellmouth would make me meaner," Xander quipped back.
"There is an elite guard troop guarding it." The head of the
Council smiled. "We do see a lot less of the stupid sort here in
New York since the invasion and the hunters becoming known."
"Most of them think that Tara will become scary," one of the guards said.
"I'm not that scary," Tara said.
"If you're scary and you know it clap your hands," Olivia sang.
Peter laughed and cuddled her. The others were trying not to
laugh. "Dean would be very mad if it upset his kitty wife."
"Is she changed?" Wesley asked John.
"No. One of my cats adopted Dean and nags him like his wife
would," Xander said. "She hovers over him, claws people that won't
let her near him. If she hasn't seen him for days she'll meow
frantically when she does and he'd better have room in his lap for her."
"Cats still aren't allowed in the Impala," John said.
"Talk to your sons about that," Xander reminded him. "I hardly ever ride in the Impala myself."
"Good point." They went over what had happened and what everyone
knew about where the rest of the group was - minus the vampires.
No one was sure where they were. Olivia put in something now and
then which made everyone give Xander pointed looks. Xander just
grinned back. Her gifts were nicely muted and being trained so
that was kind of them. At one point Wesley said something in her
ear and she pulled the magic back from the table so it'd quit
shaking. Xander gave him a look. Wesley stared back.
"She knows the bugs underneath it are bad," Xander said. "One came
out of the warehouse and we had a stomping contest to kill it."
One of the guards looked and killed the bugs. "She's right, those
are harmful, especially to humans." He smiled at the baby.
"Thank you. Next time tell us and we'll kill them for you.
You're too little to stomp most bugs hard enough to kill them."
"Okay." She smiled at Xander, who petted her. "I'm a good
girl." She stole one of Fred's oreos with a grin and a kiss on the
cheek for her.
"Let's go play with the plants," John said. She bounced out with him.
"There's days you can forget she is her mother's daughter outside the hair," one of the members of the Council said.
Tara smiled. "One of her favorite dresses looks like one of Xander's old shirts."
They smiled. "You're doing an amazing job with her," the head of
the Council said. "She's growing into a smart, sensitive young woman
with a bright future."
Xander nodded. "Especially with the school I picked out for her."
Wesley looked at him. "What if Willow and Daniel come back?"
"They know they're off realm," Xander told him. "There's a waiting
list and she's on for her kindergarten year as long as she can pass the
tests. Which means she'll have to write soon. If that
happens, we'll wean her back onto them and the school has a list of ones
like them in LA."
"That's good." He smiled. "I know they'd probably want her back with them immediately."
Xander stared at him. "Time's running faster there, Wes.
She's got at least one siblings." Fred winced at that. "She
was pregnant the last time any of us saw her. So we've got whole
other issues to tell her about first."
"Good point. Is there an easy way to wean her back?"
"No," Xander said, shaking his head. "It's going to hurt like hell
all around." That got a nod from Fred. "We'll be as gentle
as we can and explain everything that we can to her."
"Daniel wouldn't be mean," Gunn said quietly.
"That's what I'm hoping. That and he gives Willow some sense along
with the baby making seed." Fred snickered, shaking her head.
"It might help," Tara agreed. She looked at Xander. "Your vision?"
"If that happens, we'll figure it out."
She nodded, handing the Council a copy of it. The head of the
Council grimaced and nodded, handing it to her assistant. "If so,
we'd give them consideration for the dark magic." She looked at
Xander. "Is that an absolute date?"
"No. It could be anytime. Though we're not planning that
yet," he sighed, looking at Peter. "Mostly because Olivia's still
considering which dresses we should wear."
"I would look fantastic but is too fussy for my style," Peter said. Xander grinned at him.
Tara shook her head. "She's picked out one for Alexis, one for
Martha. One for Kate and Rick to each wear." Xander
and Peter laughed. "She has good taste but I think Kate decided it
was a bit fussy too, and she'd have to carry too many weapons."
"With the way Olivia sees it, she doesn't much need her scary research cabinet anymore," Xander quipped.
Tara giggled. "No, she's settled on one so all the evil droolers are leaving her alone now."
"I'm sensing the helping hand of his past dates?" Wesley asked her. Tara smiled and nodded. "Is it more sane now?"
"The wish demon that was using most of them as minions to be able to
handle myself and Tara's influence decided they were too idiotic to be
minions anymore and had them kill each other after Peter and I married."
"Ah." Wesley nodded. "Interesting. Like the wish?" Tara nodded. "Oh, dear."
"Time delayed wish by Willow while pregnant," Tara sighed. "D'Hoffryn used it to take out his power making move."
"Wonderful." He stared at Peter.
"Was not fated or anything. He ran into my friend's bar to get
away from stalkers." He smiled. "I proved I am badder than
all of them and made him like golf."
"Good. I'm glad it's a happy union," Wesley said with a smile. "Is
it generally known?" Xander shook his head. "Then we'll not
talk about it in public." Olivia ran back with John following
her, and Sam following them. "Good morning, Sam."
"Morning, Wes, Fred, Gunn." He hugged Fred, getting one
back. He grinned at her. "I checked on the group of guardian
demons and hunters that've been using the hotel. They're all
ready whenever you want to go back. No one used your rooms.
Wesley, they couldn't protect any of the books from the Council but they
are being sent back. I talked to the local one and he called to
tell them you're back. Your father's still around somewhere and
would like a call." Xander shook his head. "They said he
"Not unless they pulled him back from the dead. Wes's father was in that demon summoning that I heard about."
"Huh," Sam said. "So we'll figure that out I guess." Wesley
smiled. "Gunn, I talked with one of the girls from the gang that
moved out here to be NYPD. She's sniffling on Beckett but said
welcome back and she'd hug you later."
"That's good." He grinned. "They all right?"
"Mostly. A few have gotten injured. There's been a few that
left for a more normal life and two new ones that got admitted."
Gunn nodded at that. "I've got my laptop if you want to video call
"Thanks, Sam." He shook his hand, looking at his cohorts.
"Xander, when are you going to be back in LA again so we can get some
"Not for months. I'm not due a signing out there until the
writer's convention, which is in four months." They all
nodded. "But yeah, she's coming with me." He grinned at
Peter. Who nodded that was fine. "They can babysit too."
"Is always a nice thing." He smiled back.
"Grody, newlywed mushiness," Kinella said as she walked in. They smirked at her. "I can't babysit, guys."
"We know," Xander said. "Guys, this is Kinella, who was called
when the Council attacked Faith. I take it Faith's sleeping in
"I don't think anyone told her."
Xander took a picture of Wesley and sent it to Faith's phone.
"That'll get her up." He grinned at Wes. "If you guys want
babysitting time, I'm all for it. She needs to get to know you
guys again. That way, when and if it happens, she'll have people
she knows and trusts in LA."
Fred beamed and bounced some. "I love Olivia."
"Olivia can read now," Sam told her. "Little words. We're
still working on potty training though." He looked at the
couple. "Someone on the twitter feed suggested we try bribes
"She's more wrapped up in what she's doing so she doesn't realize,"
Xander said. "She wants out of diapers like we want her out of
them. She just...forgets. We've about got her on a
schedule. I'm going to ask the doc next time."
"She has a twitter feed?" Wesley asked.
"Yeah," Xander said with a grimace. "She interrupted an interview
to get the reporter's idea on what dress I should wear for the wedding,
with which guns, and someone found it adorable. He's very sure
he's going to protect her so no one stalks her or anything."
"That's charming," Wesley said. Sam grinned and pulled out his
phone to show him. All three of the LA team snickered at the
garden one. "She is adorable."
The head of the Council shook her head. "Olivia has always been an
engaging and cute little child." Xander and Tara both smiled at
that compliment. "Are you three going back to LA soon?"
"Sometime soon," Gunn agreed.
"Until then, I have that semi-apartment set up in the warehouse they can bum," Xander said. "The house is full."
Sam looked at him. "Dean was thinking we needed our own place up here."
"That means we'd have to split custody of the kitty wife," Xander shot back with a grin.
"He knows." He smirked at Tara. "Tomorrow?" She
nodded. "I hope it works, Tara. An easy conception of
Xander's future spoiled minion." She giggled, batting him on the
"How long has it been?" Fred asked quietly.
"Olivia's third birthday is in four days," Xander said. "You guys
are all invited. We're having it in the park." They smiled
and nodded. "Daniel's cousin is making sure everything is perfect
for her. Without it being too girly. She doesn't like
"Those dresses are heavy," Tara said.
Xander grinned. Now he knew where that came from. "Two years to the school countdown."
"We have to work on her writing next year." She pushed her hair
back. "Did the Council need more from them?" They all
nodded. "Then let me track down Olivia. Before she wears
herself out on the plants." She and Sam walked off. The
others settled in to talk and Xander offered suggestions and solutions
for the current problems. Gunn was usually common sense man of the
group but he was still too shaken to bring it out.
Later that night, Wesley came off the elevator at the house. "Why
do you have technological things in there? Are they that sort of
"It mostly comes from General O'Neill's project." He
grinned. "They do some freaky stuff bordering on magic. What
showed up this time?"
"There's a good sized room full of blinking things." Xander sent
that text message to him. "Does he have to come often?"
"Yup. The warehouse considers his whole project strange and
dangerous." He grinned. "They find a lot of their things in
"What happened to that carousel?"
"It's protective of children so I had it moved near the hunter that
started that apocalypse by being possessed." He beamed at his
buddy. "He's watching to make sure they can help any kids it's
"Oh, my." He nodded. "That seems reasonable, yes." He shook his head quickly. "I'm sure he's thrilled."
"He's John's buddy."
"Ah." He nodded with a sigh. "Winifred said she found a
freezer full of things with moss and tentacles that wanted to nibble on
"That showed up recently," Sam said, coming in from the porch.
"Apparently it was infested with something and the warehouse just
snatched the whole fridge."
"Interesting." He went back down there. They had a bit of
money handed to them by Xander for dinner. They could go up and
browse the fridge he was sure but Xander hardly ever had food in the
house. They didn't want to take Olivia's dinner from her.
They were arguing the merits of pizza versus mexican when Olivia and
Tara came down. Olivia was carefully carrying something like a
baking dish by the carrier's handle. Tara had a picnic basket.
"Here, you eat. Good for you," she told them, smiling at
Fred. "Veggies are always good for you." She took the
basket. "Plates and stuff." She kissed each one on the cheek
then bounced off.
"She helped me cook it. No, we're not playing in the warehouse
tonight," Tara said. She came bounding back and they smiled but
went back upstairs.
Wesley uncovered the dish. "Nice vegetables and cheese with ham
pieces." They dug out the plates and things, settling in to eat.
"Tara and Xander have done a better job than I would've expected," Fred
said quietly. The guys stared at her. "You know how Xander
was when he was in LA. I expected her to be a miniature whirlwind
like he was."
"A child will make you settle down and set new priorities," Wesley said.
"The rest could be Tara's influence," Gunn said.
"Tara said that he has majority custody because he has the more open
schedule." She ate a bite. "She tipped in too much garlic
powder but otherwise that's really good." They went back to it.
A man appeared in a flash of light. "We really have to set the
warehouse so it leaves my project alone," he complained. He saw
the three staring people. "Good, you're back. I can get the two
people I loaned to LA back to Atlantis." He walked off shaking his
head. "It'll seem sane by what they've dealt with."
"What has happened in LA?" Fred called. "Xander hasn't been keeping careful track for us."
"I'll send the file to you, Winifred."
"Thank you, General." Gunn stared at her. "That's General O'Neill. His people helped during the invasion."
"Oh." He nodded. "That's cool." He dug in again. "No one's mentioned Connor."
"He came back yesterday after destroying the demon plane he was on,"
O'Neill called. "They handed him to Sam Carter and begged her to
keep him." He came out with a padded case that was obviously heavy
to carry. "He's already back in LA. The kid doesn't know?"
"Not that we've heard," Wesley said. "Is he all right?"
"So far." He went upstairs. "Xander, Connor came back
yesterday." Xander grinned at him. He stared at Peter.
"I heard about you. There's a highly overprotective colonel and a
mega-brain scientist that are going to kill you if you hurt the kid."
"I know of Doctor McKay. I got him out of lab in Russia once."
O'Neill grinned. "Good. Kid, the next big thing?"
"No one's telling me anything. The only vision I've had was Willow going
super dark magic to get them back. The last one I had I put up on
the prophecy website but it's in about five years. Another demon
queen being pulled onto this realm to destroy us all. Though if
they get Fred then there's every chance they'll use her to do it
"I'll keep that in mind." He went back downstairs. "Pryce, any idea on how to block my project from the warehouse?"
"Not a one. The book on it doesn't have that in the index. I'll read it over for Xander."
"Thank you." He went to pick up a few other things and got beamed
back. A few more trips and all their stuff was back on the
base. "They're looking to see if they can block the warehouse for
Sam Carter grimaced. "I still don't believe a huge warehouse keeps
stealing things." He got her sent there. Fred took her to
show her the room the general had gone to. She whimpered at the
whole thing. "This isn't right! It's impossible by science."
"Magic is just science on a different spectrum. In the quantum
spectrum." She smiled at the confused scientist. "Sometimes
things just *are* and don't need an explanation. Like light.
You accept the various rays and radiation levels it puts out but you
don't need to study what light *is*."
"I guess." She sighed and walked off shaking her head. She
got beamed back to the mountain so she could head right to the infirmary
for her new migraine. The doctors stared at her when she walked
in. "There *is* a mystically expanded warehouse that protects
everyone by stealing things that are dangerous." The head doctor
gave her a sedative and let her lay down. Why hadn't McKay ranted
about that when he had seen it? Did he know something about magic
that she didn't? Did he maybe figure out how the two interacted
and the rules that govern magic? If so maybe it'd save her having
to figure it out so she stayed sane.
The head of the LA Demon Council nodded politely at the man that had just appeared in a flash of light. "Destroyer."
Connor grunted and grimaced. "I take it I'm back in LA?" The councilor nodded. "The others?"
"Were sent to Harris in New York. They're due back in a few days."
"All of them?"
"Gunn, Wesley, and Winifred."
Connor nodded once. "That's fine. It'll be quiet without
Willow's magic doing weird things and Daniel chastising her for
it." He looked around again. "How long was I gone?"
"Over a year."
A demon appeared, staring at Connor. "We will take you to the
others. LA is presently quiet and they need to finish figuring
things out." He nodded at the councilor and took him to Xander's
"Connor," John said with a smile and a nod. "Welcome back."
Olivia stared at him. "I know you. You used to go 'grr' and chase me around."
Connor smiled. "You thought it was a great game," he said.
She smiled. "I do it to the cats sometimes." She hugged him. "Welcome back. Were you with Daddy?"
"No. Unfortunately not."
The demon nodded at John. "I know the others would need to sort
things out with him. Where is Harris so he can report it?"
"Napping," John said, pointing outside. "His cold is making his head hurt so he decided to nap on the porch."
"He's being silly and doesn't want me to fuss," Olivia said. "He's being a dumb butt."
Connor smirked. "I've heard your mother call your dad that when he was being annoying."
"I wondered where she got that and stupid head from," John said.
"We'll tell Xander. Thank you for bringing him to us."
"You're most welcome." He disappeared.
"Xander, Connor's back," John called.
No answer so she snuck out there then back in grinning. "Uncle
Xander nap. Uncle Peter not fuss enough so he got sick."
"What is Xander dating this time?" Connor asked John.
"He's a very nice former agent and they quietly married recently."
Connor let his mouth close after a moment of being open. "Not evil? Not dangerous? Not deadly?"
"When he wants to be I guess." He smiled. "Peter treats him very well and loves Olivia like his own."
"Huh. Who would've thought that Xander would end up with someone
nice." He shook his head quickly. Olivia hugged him and he
hugged her back. "You're the one that taught me cuddling was good
"Wow. I'm amazing and pretty," Olivia quipped, cracking the two older guys up. "Should I tell the others?"
"Please," John agreed. She got the swipe card and went down
there. She had to jump to get the card in but that was fine.
She was little. She opened the door and stared around.
"Uncles!" she shouted. Fred walked out from between shelves.
She grinned. "'Nother uncle is here. He used to go grr and
chase me. That's why I do it to the cats."
"Connor's here," she called, coming out with Olivia. She hugged her. "Thank you, princess."
"Didn't want to get lost like mommy is. Then I'd have to have baby
and Uncle Xander not ready for grandbabies yet. Or grandpa."
"Not all mommies get lost," Fred said as they came off the elevator. "Just yours. It makes Willow more special."
"Nah-uh. News says mommies get lost all the time." She beamed at John. "I yelled for them."
"Good job. Get the grapes." She ran to get them and came out
to nibble and look at the book Uncle Sam had gotten her on how to write
your letters. She was tracing them with her finger for now.
It looked interesting and then she could talk to those people that
liked her online. They apparently knew she was smart and pretty so
they must be nice and smart.
Fred smiled at the book. "She'll have a lot of fun in school."
"We hope so," John agreed. "Xander's napping outside." The
guys came off the elevator. Gunn was damp. "Pond?"
"Yup. Fell in." He shrugged. "It happens."
"It's too big, I get lost down there and I'm not ready to make Grandpa have grandbabies yet," Olivia said.
John looked at her. "Even if you got lost you're still too young to have babies so don't worry about that."
She stuck her tongue out and grinned. "Someday I'll have to tell Uncle Sam's wife how mommies get lost too."
"Hopefully some year soon. Or Dean's."
She shook her head. "Kitty wife is too jealous right now."
She went back to her tracing and looking at words. She loved
words. It was great her aunt and uncle both worked with words all
Connor looked at them. "You guys look like hell."
"Gee, thanks," Gunn shot back but he was smiling. Fred pulled
Connor up to hug him. He got passed to Wes then Gunn. "How
"Dusty now. They kept wanting me to lose my temper." They
sat down to talk. John was helping Olivia. Someone new came
off the elevator.
"Hi, Unclie Mickey," Olivia called, waving at him and going back to her book. "Uncle nap and snore."
"That's fine. Someone Treasury stopped Uncle Peter," he told
John. Who nodded once. "They wanted to do something about
these new ones so he's going to be late taking them to talk to
Beckett. Though it might not help. He might just shoot them
Olivia smiled and looked up. "If Uncle Peter is that pissed off,
I'll have to do something to help him. I might even turn into
Mommy." John started to growl. She smiled sweetly. He
pointed and she huffed but went to stand in the corner. "I'd not
need spanked or to get losted."
"That's not why your parents disappeared," John said firmly.
Xander woke himself up and walked in, finding her in the corner.
He looked at John. "She vowed to become her mother if someone
"No, for those we have enforced naps." He glared and pointed. She huffed but went up to take one.
"She just said ...." Fred started.
Xander held up a hand. "She's still trying to figure out why her
parents got sent away," he said. "I asked and was told that was a
normal kid thing to figure out. She's too young to understand that
some idiot was jealous and did it for that reason." He went to
get some juice and batted Connor on the head. "Did you get that
artillery I sent?"
"Yup." He grinned. "It helped a lot."
"Figured it would. I can hear you singing to the cats,
Olivia. I said punitive nap!" Her room door slammed.
He shook his head and sipped his juice. "We'll talk to her again
"She looked up like she was talking to a higher being," John said.
Xander checked his ceiling in case there had been a sudden painting
applied up there then at him. "Whichever of you has been teaching
Olivia bad habits about how you call demons, I'm coming up there, cold
and all!" he shouted.
"No thank you," a female voice said back. "We'd hate that. Thank you anyway, Guardian."
"No more warping Olivia," Xander growled.
"Of course not."
"Thank you kindly."
"You're welcome, even if you do sound like a Mountie on tv."
"Sure, make me write Mounties as demon hunters," he quipped. The
slight haze on the ceiling shuddered. Xander and John both threw
holy water on it, making her shriek and leave.
"Let me go talk to one of us in the Treasury," she said as she faded out.
"Olivia can tell demons," Xander told the LA group. "Thanks for
that blessing, Wes." He walked off, going back outside.
"Connor, if you had anything left, you can put it back into the poker
"No, I used all the stuff you won in the kitten poker game and gave to
the off-world arms dealers. They're real happy that their
revolution got won, overthrown again, and now the scholars are in
charge. Thankfully I didn't get sold as a concubine like most of
the other warriors on that plane were."
"That might suck but it might depend on how good in bed they were,"
Xander quipped, getting back into his nest of blankets. He got out
and shut the porch door then went back to sleep.
John shook his head quickly. "Damn it, I did not want those
thoughts. Though, there are Mounties who know about demons I'm
Mickey looked up at the ceiling then at him. "How long has that
been there?" They all shrugged. "Huh. Okay. I'm
going to go have a headache. Night, all." He left, rubbing
his forehead all the way to the car. So this is what an aneurism
felt like when it burst. Maybe he should cab instead. Just
in case he did pass out. He sent a text message to his uncle, just
to warn him there had been a demonic entity on his living room ceiling
for at least a few hours.
Peter looked at his phone then called in a favor someone owed him.
"Please fix idiots in charge for him before I must," he said
quietly. "I know that is where it starts and I am about to have
old style discussion with said being. No, still sneezing.
Was napping on porch earlier to cool fever. He insisted when I
tried to argue." He smiled as he listened. "Please.
Thank you. No, apparently there was something on the ceiling and
Olivia caught it then told others. Mickey did. Thank
you." He hung up. He looked at the staring agent.
"Cash will do me generous favor since I did not kill him for picking on
me last month."
Beckett and Philips smiled at him for that. "I'm sure that would make Xander feel better," she agreed.
"I hope so. This cold is getting out of hand again." He sat
back down. "Beyond that, why would same judge that hates him take
"Because he hates him," Philips said. "We can't get that out of his bench."
"I can." He smiled. He texted someone else. A few
minutes later he got one back saying that the favor was canceled and the
judge would not be harmed. He put his phone up. "There,
someone will discuss with him why he hates Xander."
"Who?" Philips asked.
Peter smiled. "His brother-in-law. The one that owes all those poker debts that pissed the judge off."
"Oh." He nodded. "That might help, yes. Especially with another possible battle next month."
"My former overseers seem to think there is one coming up in Siberia
next year. They decided to leave us alone so they can talk Xander
into coming to help."
Philips shook his head. "I don't want him in Russia. The
State Department either. They don't really want him to go back to
Germany or Central or South America."
"I have heard there is reason. I have heard it was something like a
case Cash and I were at odds over while working," Peter said.
Philips nodded once. "Something about the Sepia Project."
He looked that up and grimaced. "Not quite. Though my boss
said I can't tell you and Xander can't either." He looked at
him. "He thinks you might turn evil."
"Not to what is mine. It would help me protect him better. Especially on overseas signing trips."
"You're going with him?" Beckett asked.
"Would be nice honeymoon and I can show him some places I liked."
He smiled. "Plus back him up when we go see Olivia's paternal
"That could yes," she decided. She was playing with her pen.
"It means he wouldn't have to have a bodyguard." Philips shook
his head, staring at her oddly. She smirked. "He's very
"No. Homeland Security's doctrine of Xander Harris says that he
must be accompanied by someone with at least Special Forces experience
each time he leaves the US. All trip plans, internal and external,
are to be filed with me so I can make sure the local office is standing
by in case he is attacked," Philips told her. "The boss wrote it
out formally and put it in the handbook, Beckett. He made a short
list of others who could use the same treatment. There's seven
that are under the Xander Doctrine right now."
Peter snickered. "Cash said he had seen that and giggled himself
sick one night. Had to explain it to London a few times until she
got it but his new boss said he added a name."
"They named it the Xander Doctrine?" Esposito said from his desk.
"Yes. It's in there next to the Natasha one, for when we're seduced by female spies wanting information."
Beckett shook her head quickly to clear it. "He's a cartoon fan?"
"Apparently," Philips agreed. "The FBI was given the different
Doctrines in case they wanted to add them. The Xander one is
classified and only Epps in LA got it. He took it to one of their
higher ups so they're all warned as well. They'll call us."
Peter smiled. "Should worry more since we heard rumors that someone wanted to make Sam the next Xander."
"He's already a seer, a warrior, and knows how to use weapons the same
way Harris does, though I'm not sure about swords or his battle axe,"
Beckett said. "What other way are they going to make him
Xander?" Peter shrugged. "I'll have Faith listen for that."
"Kinella told me."
"Damn." She called Faith to ask her. Then she called John to
warn him. "Faith and Kinella are hearing rumors that someone
wants to steal Sam to infect him with Xander's blood so they can have a
second source of the chaos in case it's needed." She hung up on
the new swearing. "John's not a happy former Marine."
"If so, we'll add him to the list," Philips complained. He texted
that to his supervisor, who sent back that they needed to find Sam and
protect him. "Any idea where he is?"
"At one of the college's libraries," Beckett said. She texted him
to call her now. He did and she handed over the phone. She looked
at Peter. "Don't threat people like judges," she said quietly.
"I am not. Though is an election year." He smiled. "For someone who could appoint new head of Treasury as well."
"It is," she agreed. Peter's phone rang and he looked then texted back. "Good?"
"No. Someone higher up is being bribed by his tentacle master."
Philips looked at him. "Don't say that. I don't want to know
who in the upper reaches of the government made a demonic deal."
"The list of who didn't is probably shorter," Esposito said. Ryan walked in with a suit bag. "It fitted?"
"Yeah. The last little bit is fitted." He hung it up and sat
down to stare at it. "I still look like a dork in a tux."
"A lot of guys do," Beckett said. "Almost no one but her is going to look at you anyway."
"Good point." He looked at the meeting. "Treasury trying
again? I saw one signing in when I walked past the desk."
She nodded. They came off the elevator a few minutes later and the
guys studiously got back to their paperwork. Philips was still
talking to Sam.
Beckett looked at the agent. "Yes?"
"Detective Beckett, there's been some indication that a case that is on
my desk at Treasury is also on yours," he said with a smile.
"No, I don't have a case that involves counterfeiting or anything."
"Unless you count your illegal locking of accounts," Peter said. "Then perhaps."
"Are you a detective or agent?"
"Spouse." He smirked. "And former agent, yes."
"Also, do be aware that if persecution by the people who are tentacle
toys continues, I will gladly move to Canada or England with my husband
and our niece. Which would take all his money with us."
Peter smirked and held up a card. "Our present lawyer. We
recently switched. You need to talk to him about such." The
man took it and winced. Peter smiled. "He is friend of mine
from former agent days."
"Oh," he said quietly. "Um... I didn't know Mr. Harris was married."
"Oh. The government doesn't really recognize...."
"And Xander could easily make a nice home anywhere in Europe for us. Might even move warehouse."
"No!" a demon said, appearing. "You can't really move the entire
warehouse, Peter. Though there's two in Europe so they can
switch if you want. One's in Leningrad." Peter gave her a
funny look. "Seriously." She looked at the agent.
"Aww... Who is your master's master, boy? He's marked
you." The agent stiffened. "It's so sweet that our people
are all over your agency." She smiled.
"They are making Xander mad by continuing to keep his money," Peter
said. "It means that baby can not see her grandparents next year
and Xander must pay medical bills soon."
"Of course he should."
"We unlocked it," the Treasury agent said.
"No, you unlocked *one*," Beckett said. "I checked for him."
The agent muttered and pulled out his phone to walk off talking to
The demon smiled at Peter. "Are you guys accepting wedding presents yet?"
"Must ask him. I have no idea what you do with them."
"Hmm. I would but he's still sick and most demons can catch his
cold; it'll run through us like the black plague did your people."
Beckett winced. "We have no idea why he's still sick. We
might have to prompt Tara into looking into it." She looked at
Peter. "If you move him, he has to turn the warehouse over to
someone who can handle it and then we can see if he'd like to take over
one of the others. Only one has a current true master." She
Beckett called Tara. "Check Xander for magical reasons why he's
still sick please." She hung up and rubbed her forehead. "I
wonder how many in Treasury are vowed."
Philips hung up. "Winchester said eight higher ups. They promised their staff."
"Aww, like Wolfram and Hart tried with us," she said meanly.
"Actually he thinks it may be them again," Philips said. "So we're
going to look into them. They're clearly not good for the
US." He walked off happier. It meant he got to destroy an
evil thing. It would make his month.
Peter shook his head. "I hope such things are solved soon.
Xander needs less stress. Before battles his muses go weird."
"Weirder? Or really strange? We've seen some bad things from his muses."
"He should see what happened when he got written into a Star Trek story a few months before they met," Ryan reminded her.
"Don't remind me," she ordered.
Peter looked at them then shook his head. "Why was he in Star Trek?"
"Someone did some of that online stuff and wrote him in," Esposito asked. "Ask him."
"I will when I feed him next dose of medicine." He got up and went
home to check on his husband. The Treasury could fix itself
without his input. He hoped.
The detectives got back to work. The Treasury guy could come back
in a while to discover that Xander wasn't the enemy, like everyone else
in the government.
Agent Philips looked at his boss's regional supervisor. "Sir, the Xander Doctrine needs to be amended."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because Harris has married."
"Is this one evil?"
He stared at him. "Is that a yes or a no?"
"Not as far as I can tell. I have character references from agents
he knew and worked with and against." He handed over the
statements he had gotten through Lorne Cash. "Also, there's the
discussion of if his husband can tell him why they need a bodyguard on
He considered them. "He sounds decent."
"Shank isn't a bad man," he admitted. "I've talked to him a few
times. He's very protective and possessive. Xander went
gushy that Peter had gotten someone that broke in instead of letting him
do it. Also, Harris has a massive cold so he's been babying him."
"Do we think that's something else?"
"No clue. They'll look."
"Good." He considered it. "Have someone like Lam or his
current doctor, one who knows, do a full blood workup. He can see
that as long as we're sure he wouldn't harm his new husband for that."
"I can do that. Also, they're keeping the marriage quiet right now."
"That's fine. I don't think I'll talk to a reporter about it," he said dryly.
"Thank you, sir. Did you see the last one?" He nodded once. "I've warned him."
"Thank you. Let me know if his name goes on the list."
Philips nodded and left. "Nineteen former agents swore he was a
decent being. That's better than anything the boy's dated in the
past," he decided.
Doctor Lam appeared, looking at Xander. "You're still sick?"
He nodded, looking miserable. "Agent Philips wanted me to do a
full blood workup." She stared at him. "And see if this was
something like the demon plague they tried to infect you with."
"Please? I've been on antibiotics because my doc thought it was a lung infection. Olivia got over hers."
"Okay. Let me use one of our neat little scanners." He moved
the blankets and let her scan him. What she saw amused her.
"Someone did some bad magic and this is your body fighting it."
She called Tara. "Someone did something to him. No, not like
that bone. Thank you." She hung up. "She'll do a
protection and finish it later."
John Winchester came out to work one around his chair. Suddenly
Xander looked and felt better. "What was it this time?"
"Curse of misfortune according to the scanner. McKay got into it
again." They shared a look. "Also, I have to draw blood."
"Can't the little scanner thingy do it?" Xander asked. "Peter just got back and he's upstairs."
"Peter?" John called. He came down the stairs. "Olivia still
napping?" Peter nodded. "Have you met Doctor Lam yet?"
"Briefly," he said, shaking her hand.
"Agent Philips said I was to run some blood work to check the current
contaminants in it." She chose that option on the scanner and read
it. She looked it over then handed it to him.
Peter read what was on it. "How do I page down?" She did
that for him. On the third page was the results that made his
spine tingle. "No wonder you must have bodyguard and is sealed so
strongly," he muttered. He paged down one last time and looked at
his spouse, who shrugged. "How?"
"Fell into a tomb once. Once they stuck a bone shard into an open cut," Xander said quietly.
"You have a new one," she said, reading that part over. "Varakt?"
"That's a demon flu," John said. He went to get a book to show
her. She read it and got a needle sent to her. She stuck him
in the arm and then patted him on the head. "Juice?"
"Lots and lots of juice once that curse is undone." She smiled at
Peter. "I hope you two are going to be very happy together."
"I do as well. How many know?"
"Myself, his local doctor, there's some sealed files from when they
tried to make him spread that demon plague. Epps has a copy
because he has to listen on the west coast."
"Good!" Xander pouted. "Is a good reason to protect you as
well." He kissed him on the head. "Fever is back I
see." She checked him again and wrote out a new medicine for Peter
to have filled. Then she went back to the base. He handed
that to John and stared at his mate once the porch doors were
closed. "Now that I know...." He sat down on the foot of the
chaise Xander was lounging in. "It does not change things."
"It is not a problem. Was very wise to lock it away from
everyone. Especially with some who wanted to own you." He
patted him on the foot. "Soon you will feel better and we will
celebrate by going to dinner." Xander grinned and nodded.
"She has plenty of babysitters."
"I like that she does." He winked and smiled. "We should plan for bodyguard for foreign signing trip next summer."
"I was going to see if the guys that got me the last one could do it again."
"That might be nice, yes. If not, I will see who is bored among
others like myself and Lorne." He took a kiss. "Rest."
Xander nodded, snuggling in again. Peter looked at the marks then
at him. "Why?"
"Curse of misfortune apparently."
"Maybe. Not real sure."
"Huh." He texted Tara while he got his laptop then went out to
write next to him. It was a pretty fall day. "Are we
decorating for the holidays?"
"I don't know," Xander admitted. "I haven't really. Last
year I barely had Olivia and we weren't really in the mood to
decorate. Plus with her multi-religion thing going on I don't
think Daniel did either." He scanned the rooftops around them then
looked at his mate again. "Did you want to?"
"I try to at least have glass of eggnog, maybe a small tree. Do you do Christmas?"
"I usually did it on Solstice since that's when the girls did because of
Willow and Tara. Last year she opened presents on Solstice.
I'm betting you do it like the Russian Orthodox church on January
6th?" He nodded. "So we can incorporate that." He
grinned. "Tara takes her to the coven for the Solstice
event. I went with them. If you want we can go to your
nephew's church for theirs."
"That would please him." He smiled. "We will figure that out
closer. As long as you get better." Xander snuggled back in
and Peter settled in to write.
Xander looked at his phone when it beeped but he wasn't unsnuggling to
answer it since it was a text message from Beckett. If it was that
important she'd call. He was exhausted and whatever was in that
shot was making him floaty-headed. So it was clearly time for a
nap. He'd deal with the dancing thoughts of christmas trees,
ornaments, and trains later.
Tara walked into her aunt's shop with three senior members of her
coven. They were there in case Tara lost her temper in a permanent
manner. She stared at her aunt. "What did I tell you about
leaving Xander alone?" she asked quietly. Her aunt started to
sneer. "The Goddess is both gentle and fierce. She's also
got her protectors. Every coven has a protector. He is
mine's protector." Her aunt took a step back. Probably
because Tara's hair was starting to blow gently in the breeze that had
just popped up. Or maybe it was because she was starting to
glow. "Those of us who do Her will in the real sense, with the
healing and the protecting, know that. Clearly, someone hasn't
read the Rede recently. The three times rule is vicious when you
wish someone harm."
"I'm not sure if his recent successes are because of that wish of
misfortune or not," one of the elder members said. "If so, it
proves that things go rather oddly around him. If misfortune is
meant to find you a true, real mate, find you monetary success at your
chosen career, and make sure that all your exes are demoned into
shooting each other... Well, I might not mind that myself."
Tara's aunt's coven started to come down from upstairs. "No, you
ladies stay. Unless you were involved in that curse?" Most
of them backed up shaking their heads.
Tara smiled at them. "She decided to curse Xander again. I'm a bit ticked off."
"We can tell. You glow like a power plant, dear," one of that coven said.
Tara smiled. "It's the strength of will I found in
Sunnydale." She looked at her aunt again. "We should have a
"He's probably the father of your spawn," she sneered. "That child will never be accepted by the Goddess."
"First, he's infertile thanks to being hit with mermaid essence," Tara
said dryly. "Secondly, I'm not pregnant yet. I put off the
appointment for my first insertion. Oh, and I went with a frozen
sample, not his. He's like my brother and that's too icky for
me. Now, Sam perhaps. He's offered." She smiled at her
aunt. "My mother would be so very upset with you." Her aunt
was really looking scared now. "Perhaps I should pull a Willow
and call her back to talk to you?" Her aunt shook her head.
"Are you certain?" She moved closer. "It's not all that
hard. With how pissed I am now, she might even be fully brought
"That's definitely one way to get Xander some fussing over," one of
Tara's coven said. "Dear, let us elder ladies talk."
Tara looked at her. Tara's aunt tried to hit her. Tara
turned and punched her.
"No one hits me," Tara said a bit too calmly. "I've found myself. No one will ever hit me again."
Xander appeared with a concussive force. A few shelves tipped over
and a display table went flying. "Wow, Willow's spell to protect
you is strong." He blew his nose. Tara smiled at him.
"Ah, that reason. Damn glad I wasn't in the bath yet." He
stared at her. "There's ways of dealing with witches turning
toward evil." She shifted back, shaking her head. "Oh, yeah,
there is. By the way, ladies of the coven of idiots?" He
looked at them, noting the sneering. "You do remember that the
Goddess has more than one form, right? She's not just maternal,
nurturing, and over the Earth? That she's also over earthquakes,
hurricanes, tornados? That she usually had a warrioress
aspect?" They backed down.
"Why did you come, dear?" one of Tara's coven asked. "You look like you feel miserable."
"I have a cold." He looked at her. "Willow put a spell
around Tara to summon me or someone to help her if she was ever in
physical danger she couldn't handle."
"Oh, I can handle it," Tara assured him. "If she had actually hit
me, she'd be very sorry." She looked at her coven. "My
temper is climbing."
"I believe that's why it's so breezy in here," one of her coven agreed.
Tara looked up and sighed, muting it. "Sorry." She came to check over Xander. "That cold is miserable."
"I'm going to use the sauna tomorrow if it's not better." He
grinned. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly. She nodded.
"I can stay and whip ass."
"No, this is a witch thing."
He kissed her on the forehead. "You tell me if you need me.
Sweating from starting a burning pile of witch is still sweating."
She smiled and swatted him on the arm. He got a cab and went
home. Peter was probably confused since he was drawing him a bath.
Tara looked at the head of her coven, shrugging some. "Willow
always thought I needed protected. It's only happened once before
and the demon that scared me begged. She totally joined that demon
convent because of it."
The older woman giggled. "Xander in a rage can do that to normal
folk too." Someone else walked in and she stared. "Did
Willow's protection summon you too?"
"No, I'm here about the curse," Sam said. He looked at the
witches. "We are the only hunters in New York outside the
slayers. Burning the bad ones is our duty. Frankly, Dean and
I locked Dad in a closet and I had Olivia distract Dean so I had this
duty. That way they wouldn't." He walked in and looked at
Tara, kissing her on the forehead. "You missed some strands when
you did your hair." She swatted him too. He grinned.
"Bad witches are bad witches, no matter what."
"It's possible she's possessed."
"No, it's not." He patted her. Then he nerve pinched
her. "Tara doesn't need this sort of trauma on her soul.
It's too pure to dirty that way." The coven was staring at
him. "Witches who cause harm are dealt with by hunters if other
"We can, dear," the elder witch assured him.
He kissed her on the forehead as well. "We'll see." She
shivered but looked at the witch trying to get away from them. Sam
stared at her. "You might want to end the one that's making the
cold linger as well. After all, that would expose more people to
Xander's blood. Since some unkind higher demon tried to make
Xander spread a demon plague by infecting him.... Well, I'm sure
that him being sick isn't raising that *too* much." Tara's aunt
ran to stop that one.
"I'd suggest if there were others, they be stopped too," Sam told the
rest of that coven. A few went to do that. He looked at
Tara's coven, smiling at them. "We do like how well you guys help
us protect this city. You're very good and we know we can trust
you guys. Even when Dad's paranoid about those who make deals for
their powers." He looked around then pointed. "There's a
bigger one of those in the Warehouse Xander guards. We thought it
was like the carbonite scene from Star Wars."
The witches of Tara's coven looked then nodded. "It probably does
the same purpose," one decided. "That's just a mouse that was
"Xander guards what?" one of the other coven demanded.
Sam grinned. "Xander inherited the warehouse. If something
happens to him, it goes to Dean and me." A few were almost crying
at that news. "You thought he only lived overtop of it?"
"He does?" one asked.
Sam grinned and nodded. "He built a wonderful house up
there. We've been staying at his place, and sometimes with Tara to
give him and his guy some privacy." Fred and Gunn walked in
together. "Hey, guys. No Connor?"
"Connor's growling at the possessed mice that showed up to play with his
hair," Fred said with a smile. She smiled at the others. "Yes,
some of us are back." Two went running. "Aww, it's nice you
knew about that."
"We'll find out for you, Winifred. Do calm down," one chided
gently. Sam grinned at her. "Let us clean up the deplorable
manners, ladies." They waded in to clean up the problems, arrest
that witch so they could hold a multi-coven talk about her. The only
work they left running was a healing spell. It looked like they
had been working on it for a while and they'd never want to hurt an
innocent who wasn't involved in this situation. Sam and the two LA
team members helped them clean things up and take the witch in custody
back to their meeting house.
Paula walked up to where Xander was getting fast food for breakfast. "Did you escape?"
"Eating on the way back home. Everyone else is off doing
something." He looked at her before taking a bite. "So I
guess you heard, huh?"
"I did. If that's a curse of misfortune, I'd hate to see one of
good luck." She sat down. "I'm sure you're expecting to hear
something like I'm dropping you but I'm not." Xander
relaxed. She stared at him. "Was it active when we switched
over?" He shrugged. "I'll ask Sam. It really was a
very good decision for me. As was taking you in." She
ruffled his hair. Xander finished relaxing and then sneezed into
the cheap napkins. "Get that fixed. You have an interview
"I am. I'm actually a lot better." She nodded. "So we can't trace anything harmful professionally to it?"
"I think anything harmful you've handled. Like that mother."
She rolled her eyes. "Maybe it held back a few movie
offers." He smiled. "It does make you more money to take
"One of Tara's coven told her about the mystical kingdom of
Tiffany's. She wants to go on a great quest to visit it and see
how pretty they are." He ate another bite.
"Thankfully that's a big word she can't read yet." She patted him on the hand.
"Or else I'd have to do only best sellers for years," he agreed.
She smiled. "Thank you for making me feel better, Paula."
"You're welcome, Xander. Now, you're actually behind?"
"I've been miserable for over three weeks."
"I know. Her birthday party?"
"Oooh." She winced. "After your interview?"
"Yeah. I think I rescheduled that for ten in the morning because
of her party. Octavia thought it was sweet and cleared it with
"Even better." She smiled. "Get me something soon. All I've gotten are smutty fantasy novels."
"No, I gave you that one prince thing."
She stared at him. "That was really smutty, Xander."
"Not that one. The other one."
"What other one?"
"I sent it a few weeks ago by courier."
"Dig up the slip." She got up and went back to the office to
see if she could find it. It was bad that a whole novel had went
missing. Someone might leak it to the press or something.
Xander texted her the receipt number as soon as he found it. She
called the courier company and they told her what it said. She
went to talk to that person. They didn't work for her, or for her
last company. They weren't even publishers. They were former
factory owners as it turned out. Wonderful!
Thankfully Xander still had a copy on his home system.
The End, for now.
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