Issues of Issues.

"Fuck me!" was shouted throughout the apartment building.

Jensen leaned out of his apartment, looking up the stairs.  "If you're certain you want to try gay sex, I'll ask Xander to see if he'll make sure it's fun for you.  Or call Roque to see how he likes it if you guys got stress relief."

"Hell no, I wouldn't let Roque fuck me," Clay complained.  He leaned over the banister.  "Find someone to replace Rice.  He tried to give Xander to someone."

"Huh.  That sucks," Jensen agreed.  "I'll email Xander."  He went to do that so he got the whole story.  That was a good reason for Clay wanting to be fucked to get the bad news out of his head.


Xander looked up from his reading in the airport lounge while waiting to board.  "One of us needs to learn how to fly, Wade."

Wade looked at him.  "I can fly helicopters.  Pooch can too, and light aircraft."

Xander showed him the article on the subsonic private jet.  "It'd be handy and we wouldn't have to rent one."

Wade shook his head.  "That's an expensive toy and you'd never get enough use out of it."

"I would.  We could zip off for a weekend away from the nagging people."  He grinned.

"We'll see about it when we get home but with your hormones, being backed up at all would cause you too much distraction, kid."  Xander considered that.  "I'll consider upping my skills though."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "And if your next boyfriend is any good I'll tell him where to get some too."  Xander hugged him and sat back to read more on that nice quiet, supersonic executive jet.  Wade looked around at the others waiting to board.  They were nicely occupied, though a few were grinning subtly at him.  "Speaking of?" he asked quietly.

"Jensen said he's talked a friend into coming over?"

"That's nice.  Will he be able to help?"

"I hope so."  He looked up.  "It'd be nice."

"It would, before we all get kidnaped."

"We will not."  Wade pointed.  Xander huffed and created a breeze toward those people with guns.  They didn't look official.  One started to scratch.  Another slowly pouted.  Then the airport officials spotted them and Xander cut off the breeze.  The airport officers didn't need hormoned today.  The Xander-snatching group could be used for their fun and games later.  Once they were on the plane, Wade tapped out a message to Horatio to check and see if Xander was able to take flying lessons.  He didn't know enough about being a ghs to know if that was even possible.


Speed looked at Horatio's phone.  Horatio was testifying so Speed was holding it.  "Flying lessons?  Well I guess it'd help them get away," he muttered, texting one back to Wade.  Then he put the phone into his pocket.  Horatio was always on call so he had to have his phone somewhere nearby and on.  He wondered how they'd be handling Xander's hormones on the rest of the trip, since even they had heard about Xander's traveling companion freaking out and trying to hand him to someone while taking things from him.

Though it was nice that Turkey's officials hadn't said anything about Xander's pets in the bags when the idiot Rice had opened one and nearly gotten his face ripped off by Ramses.


Xander was now having a bad day.  He had been in Greece.  This cave was not in Greece.  It wasn't technically on the same continent even if they were connected.  The captors were trying to get him to call home so they could demand a ransom.  Xander blinked at them then responded to their Arabic in a demon language, which made them very confused.  He tried another one, clearly not theirs.  They were getting frustrated and Xander was enjoying it. 

Messing with his captors' heads was one of the most fun things about being kidnaped.  The beating, cutting, and sometimes torturing wasn't all that fun and he'd like to avoid that but these ones were going to offer to 'fix' him so he was straight for more money.  Xander heard something outside the cave and let out a fangirl squeal.  "Yo, in here," he called in English.  "Before I kill them."  The hostage takers looked that way and Xander kicked the nearest one, managing to grab a knife.  He magiced his way out of the chair he was tied to and cut two of them before the others responded.

Soldiers ran in and started to shoot people.  Xander stabbed the one that was trying to grab him.  He looked at the soldiers.  "Hands up," the soldier yelled.

"Dude, I'm the captive," Xander said dryly.  "My wallet's over there," he said with a point.  One moved to check it.  He looked at the knife then at the body he had gotten it off of.  "Next time, keep your weapons sharper, dude.  It's pathetic when you kidnap someone."  He dropped it on the chair and shrugged.  "I was in Greece.  My bodyguard has got to be throwing a damn fit."

"Okay," the soldier in the lead said once he had seen the license.  "Let's go outside?"

"Gladly."  He walked out with them after putting his wallet in his pocket.  "Did anyone see my phone?  I thought I had it on me."  They shook their heads.  "Huh."  He grimaced.  "Anyone got a phone?  I can call a buddy to call my bodyguard.  I don't have his number memorized again."  One handed over their satellite phone.  Xander dialed a familiar number, putting it on speaker.  "Jensen, tell Wade I'm okay.  The idiot hostage takers weren't that mean.  They never got the family's numbers to call and ask for three mil for me safe and sound or five with me fixed and straight again," he said dryly.

"Where are you?" Jensen's voice asked.  "That's clearly a satellite phone by the background noise."

"Bogfuckistan.  The backwoods of Bogfuckistan," Xander said, looking around.  "The cave district of the backwoods of Bogfuckistand I think."

One of the soldiers was trying hard not to laugh.  "Close," he admitted.

"Can you maybe get Wade to come pick me up today?"

"I've already heard from him and he said if he had to take out each and every single gay-hating terrorist he'd be doing that later.  Do you have your DPP necklace?"

"No.  I can't feel anything around here either."  The soldiers were giving him odd looks so he torched the bodies in the cave with a shrug.  "Thanks, Jensen."  He handed the phone back with a grin.  "He was one of you guys only Army."

"Sure," the lead soldier said.  "Sir, should we make sure he gets somewhere?"

"Let me text Wade.  It'll take me a second, Sergeant?"

"Yes, sir, Master Sergeant Hines."

"I'll make sure that the higher ups hear that your team did a good job rescuing Xander.  A few of them owe us majorly for screwing up our spec ops missions."  The soldiers shuddered.  "Xander, Wade's already found you and he'll be there in a minute.  With your DPP necklace and phone since they left it.  Do you need anything sent?"

"I had my wallet with me," Xander said.  "Thanks, Jensen."

"Welcome, Xander.  Have you met up with Toby yet?"

"Toby's napping.  A lot.  Sorry?"

"No, it's not a problem.  We'll figure it out.  Be safe and behave."  He hung up and started to beat his head on the wall he was sitting next to.

Clay leaned in.  "Where is he?"

"As he called it, the backwoods cave district of Bogfuckistan.  Not that I disagree with that name but we need to thank Master Sergeant Hines' team."

"I can put that out."  He walked off shaking his head.  Better Wade than them.


Wade appeared a few minutes later, looking at Xander.  "Guys, back away.  I'm going to have him solve this problem," Wade said, staring at his boss.

"I tried earlier.  They herbed me with something when they knocked me out," Xander said.  "I'm sorry!"

"They're going to be!"

"Well, they're kinda ashes," Xander said.  "Stay, guys. I've got a hormone problem I have to fix."  They all looked confused.  Xander walked further off and let it rip.   He strolled back a few minutes later.  Wade got to shoot a few people who came out to try to get Xander for their own uses.  "Huh."  He nodded and smiled at the team.  "Thanks, guys.  Have a better day."

"You too, sir," one said with a nod.

Xander grinned.  "We're just weird like that sometimes."

"Only you," Wade said sarcastically.  "Some of us are normal commandos.  Let's go, kid."  Xander nodded and bounded off after him.  They transferred to the DPP plane and then back to Greece.  Wade walked him off muttering about a rent-a-dick service for him.  Xander slunk off to talk to Toby since he was awake again.  Toby was a great help.  Wade went to have a drink while he looked for a new escort for Xander.  He really needed to get the boy a real lover.  One with some stamina.  Or maybe he'd have Jensen kidnaped since he could handle Xander's hormones all by himself.  Clay wouldn't complain too much if it'd keep the kid safer.


Xander smiled at the native guide that was flirting with him.  It was nice to have happen.  Even if Wade was groaning.  He wasn't sure why Wade was groaning but it was a pretty sound he was making.  Xander and his guide toured the rest of the ruins.  Where he pounced Xander and it was nice.

Wade tipped the guy when he came back, staring at him.  "No more working," he said quietly.  The guide nodded.  Wade rolled his eyes and walked over to Xander.  "We done?"

"Nearly."  He was looking at some writing.  "I think it's ancient graffiti since it says that someone was sucking Odin's cock for his own pleasure."

"Could be," he agreed.  He walked the kid off.  "Did no one teach you how to spot a pro?" he asked quietly.

"No.  He was?"  He looked confused.

"Yeah, he was," he said dryly.  "I paid him already." 

Xander sighed but nodded.  "I guess it had to happen.  It was nice that he flirted.  No one flirts with me even when I'm in the club."

"Uh-huh.  Well, he was.  So from now on, flirt but don't pay to play."

"Sorry, Wade."

"Not a problem.  Just be aware of it."

"It was still nice to be flirted with."  Xander pouted some on his way back to the tour bus.

Wade looked up.  "Why me?" he asked.  He grabbed Xander and pointed.  He had spotted someone teleporting in.

Xander looked around then walked over to smile at his God.  "Lord Strife."

"Xander."  He smirked at him.  "Naughty.  In Athena's old temple too.  She's throwin' a fit!"

"I didn't realize that he was working."

"Fine."  He waved at Wade and took Xander with him.  There was a lunch meeting with the various chaos gods and Xander would do just fine being their serving boy.  It was a lot of status for Strife that Xander was his with how much chaos he created.  Xander blushed when they appeared.  Strife smirked at him.  "We're having a lunch meetin' and needed a wine boy."

Xander blushed harder.  "I'm not really wine boy material but I can definitely help serve and feed."  The gods all got happy with that thought.  Strife changed Xander's khaki pants into a pair of leather chaps and no shirt or shoes.  The hair got braided to the bottom of his skull and the rest left loose.  The gods really liked that look and Xander was more than happy to be their serving boy.  Even when Ares showed up to glare at Strife for it.  Xander blinked up at him from feeding a South American chaos god something tasty.  "He asked, Lord Ares, and our tour was done for the day."  He wiped off the God's mouth and moved to hand him the glass of wine.

Ares groaned and nodded.  "Athena's still throwing a fit."

"I had no idea he wanted paid.  It was nice being flirted with."  Xander pouted.  "No one ever flirts with me anymore because apparently I'm too scary to flirt with."

"Not by a long shot," Ares said.  He let the chaos gods get in one more fondle and took Xander to apologize to Athena, who accepted it when the boy pouted about not knowing he wanted paid.  Then he handed him back to Wade after changing the clothes back to what they should be.  Though Wade gave the chaps a very confused look.  Ares glared at him.  "Chaos god luncheon."

"They must love him for all the work he gives them," Wade quipped.  Xander hit him on the arm with a scowl.  "You do."

"I do not."

"Bullshit."  He pointed.  "Boytoy?"  Xander went that way to introduce himself.  That one was quickly worn out because he was pathetic.  Wade sent up a prayer to Aphrodite himself asking for her to send someone for Xander to travel with before he had to rescue him *again*.


Cupid looked up at the plea for help then at his mother.  "Do we know anyone who can keep up with Xander?"

"I'm not certain *I* could keep up with Xanny," she said dryly.  "He's had a few dry patches in there with guys who couldn't keep up."  Strife appeared looking amused.  "How did your meeting of pouting go?"

"I pulled Xan'er up to be our serving boy," he said with a smug grin.  "He did a great job feeding us each bite and then some wine.  The others were kinda jealous."  He beamed then pounced Cupid.  "He said as long as it doesn't interfere with his tour, he wouldn't mind doing it again."

Cupid smirked.  "Wade begged to have someone who can handle him."


"Is working," Aphrodite sighed.  "Pity though.  It's really hot and a bit bondagy."  She wandered off thinking about how hot the bondagy Xander was with Jensen.

Cupid and Strife shook their heads then Cupid got to prove he was the best wine boy ever created so Strife wouldn't want to go snatch Xander again.


Xander's foreman for his half-owned construction company called.  "Xander, I need to know if we want to participate in a Habitat project to get more handicap friendly housing.  It'd be a total volunteer job."

Xander considered it for a second.  "I like Habitat.  We donate time to it each year."

"This would be beyond what we've already done.  They think we can design a good, safe home for them."

"I probably can if you guys can't."  He had itchy mental things in the back of his mind that he wanted to draw out.  "Tell them yes and I'll send over some rough ideas later?"

"Thanks, Xander."  He hung up.

Xander smiled at his escort when he came out to see what he was doing.  This one wasn't too bad but was still a bit tired most of the time.  "My construction people got asked to help on a new Habitat push."

"Congratulations.  That's wonderful news.  What sort?  Energy efficient and pricy?"

"No.  Handicap accessible.   There's not a lot of it in Miami."  He settled in to draw some ideas.  "Wade, I need some common sense and internet help," he called when he got stuck.

Wade came out of his room, the dogs and Hubert following him since they had been napping on his bed.  "Why?"

"Habitat project."

"That's a nice thing for the construction guys."  He liked the construction guys.  They had done a good job fixing his house after that little bomb incident.  He looked.  "You can buy chair lift systems."

"What about ones that might need to go down a hall if it's not totally reasonable?"

"You can usually widen a hall, Xander.  Though it's not a bad idea for bigger rooms in some places.  Like that marble house we saw last week?  The upstairs hallway could use a connector between the two staircases."

Xander nodded.  "I was thinking about bathroom issues."

"They make walk-in tubs and roll in showers."

"What if you want a tub with all the spa stuff?"  Xander showed him his idea for a motorized lift seat.  "Then to the transfer bench and wheelchair?"  Wade nodded.   He settled in to see what was already available.  Xander drew out plans for bedrooms with a roll-up platform next to the bed so you could have a huge, high sided bed and not have to switch.  Plus a roll in shower with a good bit of seating all around and a hand-held shower unit on an adjustable pole.  "How many bedrooms?"

"I'd say three to four, so at least three baths," Wade said absently.  "That's a good size.  It can be scaled up if they have more kids."  Xander nodded, adding that in.  "Stairs?"

"Three whole stairs and a platform lift for wheelchairs."  He showed him how it was built into the stairs so the stairs themselves lifted and saved space on the wall.  "Large living area.  The upraised section gives them a bit of a storage area as well."  Wade nodded.  Xander worked on a less fancy design because Habitat didn't really use granite anything or fancy tiles.  Then he sent it over with what Wade had found to round out his designs.  Xander beamed at him.  "Thanks, Wade."

"What else is on their demented plans?"

"There's a three thousand foot house that has a single bedroom."  Wade shook his head quickly.  "Great bedroom.  A lot of other areas.  A few hobby rooms for the old owners individual interests.  One has ships in bottles all over it.  Another's a sewing room.  Huge entertaining areas.  Just no bedrooms.  So we changed the roofline a bit and added in the second story overtop of the other areas."  He found the pictures and showed him.  "That two-story part is the bedroom.  One level's the closet and huge bathroom, there's a powder room in the bedroom, which is the second level of it.  The hobby rooms are all on the single level part near the bedroom.   The living room and kitchen take up almost fifteen hundred feet of the space."

"That's clearly for someone who likes to shop a lot and has no kids," Wade said dryly.  "Why did the company get that one?"

"Someone gave it to me and refused to take it back," Xander admitted.  "The husband had been widowed by his wife and wanted me, even though I've never met him.  They were her hobby rooms.  So he gave it to me and then disappeared.  We have no idea if he's alive or not.  That happened last year."  Wade groaned and shook his head.  "I asked a lawyer who gave me information and agreed that we could change it to sell it.  That new second level will have three other bedrooms, two baths when we expand the powder room and turn that into a regular bedroom, and the downstairs is being turned into a regular walk-in closet and big master bedroom."

"That sounds nice," Wade admitted.  "Lawn?"

"Patio stones.  No grass out back.  Some in the front."

Wade shook his head.  "Clearly taste specific."  Xander nodded.  "Are you going to sell it during the reno work so the new owners can pick out their own fixtures?"

"We're hoping to."

"Well, at least Miami has plenty of executives."  Xander grinned.  "And others who like to entertain."  Xander nodded.  "What about the things he left?"

"They're in a long-term storage place."

"Good idea."  He looked at the staring dragon, petting him.  "Stare at your human, Hubert.  He feeds you."  Xander got up to get the plate of stuff he had ordered for the dragon, which he hadn't touched, and put it down in front of him.  Wade moved it and Hubert got to enjoy it now.  Xander rolled his eyes, going to the bathroom.  Wade smirked at the dragon.  "He's going to feel unloved."   The dogs ran in to play with the daddy when Hubert nudged one under the tail.  Wade shook his head, looking at the escort.  Who was looking amused.  "The pets are very spoiled.  You should see the ferrets.  He got them little outfits and things."  He got up and left, going to check on the others in the tour group.  They were off doing a tour of the local sites, which Xander hadn't wanted to see.

The escort leaned back, watching Xander play with the dogs.  He was gathering strength for the later pouncing he'd get in.


Sam smiled when the little heathens that had been adopted by the families ran toward him.  He wouldn't wonder why Toby had makeup on his face, or where he had gotten it, or why he was wearing a tutu and raccoon slippers.  Mellie looked adorable in her tiara - which actually belonged to Wade the cannibal flying monkey - and a long blue shirt that was probably one of Xander's geek t-shirts.

"Help?" Mellie asked, grinning at him.

"Help you do what?"  Toby was dancing around chanting 'help' too.  "What do you two need help with?"  Toby held up something.  Sam grinned and nodded.  "Sure, we can dress the ferrets up."  He took them inside, finding the outfits for the other ferrets.  He settled in to show them how to put the little harem outfits on the wiggly bodies and let them run off.

Dean came down the stairs, watching the little blue-clad white ferret run across the living room.  "What the hell?" he demanded.  "Sammy, did you lose your mind?"

Toby pouted at him.  "Help?" he pouted.

Dean stared at him.  "Animals don't need clothes, Toby.  That's why they have fur."  Toby pouted but Sam gave him one of the ferrets to pet and he was happier.  Mellie got the other three onto the large combined footstool and they liked it.  Dean watched the two blue and two pink clad ferrets then looked at his brother.  "Really?"

"They wanted to."  Sam smiled and took video of the kids playing with the ferrets.  He sent it with a note saying that the kids decided they wanted to play dress-up too.  He sent it to Xander's email.  Dean walked off shaking his head.  Sam took pictures for the parents too.  Adam sent back a 'get my son out of the tutu before I get there' order.  "Hey, Toby, your daddy wants you to dress up in something else.  He said the tutu doesn't go with your hair.  Go pick something else to dress up pretty in?" 

Toby beamed and ran off.  His little slippers squeaked each time he took a step, which was probably why he liked them.  He came back in a harem dancer outfit over his clothes.  "Are you a ferret?" Sam asked, smiling as he adjusted the shirt for him.  Toby beamed and nodded, running back to play with the ferrets again.  Sam took a picture of that one to send to Wade for Xander.  Dean came back from the kitchen then looked at Sam.  "Who gave them the harem outfits?"

"Xander bought them for the ferrets back when they moved here.  They wore them to the housewarming from what he told me."  Sam grinned.

"No, his."

"No idea where they got the dress up trunk," Sam admitted.  "I haven't been able to leave them to check."

"Okay," Dean decided, going to see which demon had left what this time.  As it turned out, it was a former demon.  "Anya left it," he called.

Sam sent that to Wade as well.  Adam stomped in through the kitchen.  "He picked something else.  He said he's a ferret too," Sam said with a smile.

Adam looked at his precious son. He went to the bathroom to throw a fit his son wouldn't need to hear.  When he was calm he came back and helped get his son out of the outfit and then the ferrets.  He also helped Mellie out of hers.  "Who bought you two dress up outfits?"

"Anya," Sam said with a grin.  "Dean found that."

"I see."  He picked up the kids, taking Mellie to drop her off at her house on Speed's orders.  He could talk to Anya later.  Possibly with a sword if he could make sure he got there before his spouse yelled her to death.

Sam and Dean grinned at each other and got the ferrets put away again.  It wasn't as much fun for them without Hubert there to wrangle them.


Wade looked at the picture he had gotten sent.  "Xander, you have mail from Sam."

Xander got into his email on his phone, cackling at the video.  Wade showed him the picture Sam had sent.  "Awww, he wants to be a ferret."  He showed him the video.

Wade looked at the reason for the dress up horrendousness then walked off calling his girlfriend.  Clearly, she was going mental without the sex.

Xander grinned, sending a message back to Sam.  He bounced over to show the other GHS with them on the tour.  They all cooed over it.  "That's Mellie, who is Horatio and Speed's daughter, and Toby, who is Adam and Ray's."

"Aww," one of the guys on the security team said with a grin.  "I wonder if Adam's gotten Ray an outfit like that yet."  One of the members hit him on the arm but was smiling at him.  He grinned back.  "It'd look nice in his hair."

"Maybe," she agreed.

Xander sent back another message and they walked off to see this new museum.  Wade was chewing on Anya in the alley so he could catch up.  Wade came back.  "The flying monkey ate the remote after putting the tv on PBS and she got the bad idea from that.  I told her how to find a replacement one."  He shook his head.

Xander grinned.  "At least it was meant to help the kids."

"Whatever.  Still mental of her, kid."


Wade handed Xander his phone, already on speaker.  "It's Michael."  He walked off.  By the way Michael sounded, he might not want to know.

"What's up?" Xander asked, looking at the phone.

"I know I owe you a good bit from a few different poker games but can I get a tiny bit of help?" the former spy asked.

"You sound shitloads like there's been a new gang war with spies involved in Miami," Xander said, grimacing a bit.  He might have to cut his trip short if there was a problem that big.

"I wish.  It'd be easier than admitting that the people I used to work for were dumb."

"What did they do this time?  Another attempt to get all us GHS into the government's protections?"

"They did?" Michael asked.

"That's why I went to DC last time.  If it's not that, what happened?"

"You know Fi, right?"

"Yeah, casually, the same way I do you and Sam and your mom.  Why?"

"Our former bosses decided to reactivate her for a mission and gave her some sort of shot that basically has her smelling a lot like you on a backed up day."

"Oh, shit!" Xander shouted.  "Are your bosses that big of dumbasses?"

"Apparently," Michael agreed.  "Do you know anything on that shot?"

"Shot?" Wade asked from where he was sitting.

"The 'make a new GHS' shot that one overlord wannabe Faust was working on," Xander said.  "I know Horatio and Speed were flying out today but Sam has the herb mixture that can help her weed it out.  Why did they pick her?"

"They figured she'd know how to handle it easier because she had seen you handling yours," Michael said.

"Can we shoot them for you?" Wade offered.

"Don't tempt me, Wade.  Please.  I'm about to shoot them.  Sam went on a swearing fit when she got back and looked very spooked."

"Did they kidnap her already?" Xander asked.

"Not totally sure.  She's not really talking about it."

"Get the herby mix from Sam, the testing kit too.  Sam's good at giving the beginning lectures.  Then tell Clay and them?"

"I can do that.  Any idea how long it acts?"

"As far as I know he was looking to activate that gene in whoever he picked to bear the burden of it," Xander admitted.  "That was all that overlord stuff that got Jensen, Cougar, and I sent to Central America."

"Okay, I remember that.  Would Sam or anyone have anything on the shot itself?"


"I can talk to Greg."

"Tell Gibbs, let him help you chew on someone.  He's probably bored," Wade quipped, shaking his head.  "At least it wasn't Sam getting it."

"No, Sam Axe would make a horrible GHS," Michael said dryly but you could tell he was happy about that.  "I'll get with them today.  Thanks, Xander."

"If she needs to, she can use the special pool at my house," Xander offered.  "There's not that many ways to wear out hormones."

"I'll let her know.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Let's go to Xander's," he said.  He called Dean's phone.  "Are you guys home?   Please.  At least your brother and Clay if you can."  He hung up and walked Fiona out of his mother's house.  He and Sam were both extra armed today.   They did not want an incident like Xander had all too often.  They drove over to Xander's house, finding Clay getting out of the team's SUV.  "Thank you."

Clay looked at them.  Then he sniffed.  "I didn't know one of you was a latent GHS, guys."

"A shot," Fiona said.  "Our bosses decided I could handle it since I knew how Xander did his."

"I'm going to kill them," Clay said.  "Let's get you tested.  Sammy, get Fiona a newbie kit," he called as he walked them inside.  Sam got one from the office and the testing kit was already set up.  She tested out at a higher than average four.  "Backed up too.  You are blessed," he said sarcastically.

"That's not what I'd call it," Fiona said.

"Well, first thing's first," Sam said.  "Herbs?"  He handed her some tea.   She grimaced but drank it.  "That'll help you sweat out some of the backlog.  Second, you've got to wear that out, Fiona."  He smiled slightly.  "Want to borrow the special pool?"

"What special pool?" Michael asked.

Sam led them down there.  The three former agents all stared.  Clay nearly blushed.  "Xander said it's a direct copy of the one at Cupid's temple where he trained," Sam said, grinning at her.  "Or I can let you into Xander's toybox."

"Um...."  She looked then around.  "That's just...really weird."

"Only one good way to wear out hormones," Clay quipped.  "There's a free, shielded room down here too."  He pointed.  They let her handle it on her own and went back upstairs.  "How?" he asked the former spy and SEAL.

"Our bosses," Michael said.  "Some sort of shot."

"Yeah, Faust had one made," Sam complained.  He called DC.  "Hi, Gibbs.  I needed Greg really badly.  Is he too busy?"  He grimaced.  "No, someone gave one of our retired spy society down here Faust's shot on purpose."  He heard him repeat that to Tony, who told him what it was.  "Thanks.  Yeah, I can have Jensen get into that.  Thanks, Gibbs.  Here."  He hung up.  "Greg's in quarantine today because they had to move a trial due to death threats."

Clay called Jensen.  "Hack Greg's computer for information on Faust's shot."  He hung up.  Sam got into one of Xander's laptops to get into his email and sent Jensen one.   Jensen sent over the file he found and let Sam print it off.

Michael and Sam Axe read it, then shuddered pretty much in unison.  "So how long?"

"If it wears out?" Sam said.  "I don't think anyone's ever tested it."

Clay took the information file to read, grimacing.  "Great," he muttered.  "And it's in science geek."

Sam called the lab.  "Can we have a bit of science translating help?" he asked with a smile.  "Thanks, Calleigh.  Sure, we can show up in about an hour."  He hung up.  "She's got lunch then."  The guys all nodded.  Fiona came up out of the special, magical basement blushing.  Sam smiled.  "That's the file on the shot.  Calleigh's agreed to translate it into human words instead of science stuff."

"That'll help."  She read it.  "Never tested."  She called Jensen and walked off talking to him to see if there were other files.  There weren't many that their bosses were keeping.  She came back.  "I'm the test subject."

"Too bad we can't treat them like a warlord in the Middle East," Clay muttered.  He rubbed his forehead.  "Fiona, you have to wear that out.  Soon.  The longer you're backed up, the more likely it is we'll have to save you."

"I know.  I'm going home after we talk to Calleigh."

"Good.  However.  Borrow if you need to," he said, staring at her.  "Or there's the GHS brothel." 

Sam got the name and number from the newbie packet.  "There's also this place that has a special discount for the group," he offered with a smile.  "It's a really exclusive, high priced toy store.  Not scummy in the least.  Adam can get you a Society ID so you can get in easily.  He can get you signed up for the upcoming convention too."

"I'll consider that."  She looked at her friends then at Clay.  "Can we go there now?"

"Sure.  I'll brief the team later so we can hopefully deal with whoever had this horrible idea."  He followed them out.  Sam Winchester stayed at the house.  Calleigh took one sniff of Fiona and slumped, shaking her head.  She knew about the shot's properties, had looked at it in case someone had hit Horatio with it.  So she got to go over all the 'why' answers that Fiona might need.  Clay told Jensen why and he started to call around to see if they could handle the idiot in charge that had made this terrible mistake.  Before they did it to someone else.


Gibbs hung up and looked at his second-in-command.  Tony shrugged.  He had told the head of the retrieval teams so he was aware it was around again.  "We had it confiscated and destroyed, boss."

"I know."  He looked around.  Greg was still in seclusion thanks to the judge and the death threat.  They were waiting in a hotel room for him to get done for the day.  "Know anyone who can stop that idiocy fast?"

"Two or three reporters."  He called one and walked into the bathroom to talk to her.  He knew he couldn't leave the hotel room.  He was backed up because he had been without his Greg-lovin' for a week now.  Greg was backed up as well.  The judge was making allowances for it but it had still been a week.  Tony also called their contact in the FBI, Fornell.  He *really* was going to have a happy day chewing on someone for that.


Three hours later, the President walked into the head of the CIA's office, staring at his minion.  "Are some of your people stupid?" he asked.

"Sometimes.  Who did what now?"  He handed over the report he had gotten.  His minion squeezed his eyes shut then shook his head.  "I did not order that."

"I don't care!  Fix it!  Before they decide to dose more agents and we're overrun with rescuing them.  Bad enough they decided to test it on one that got burned.  Or that I had to hear it from a reporter instead of you after you had fixed it!"  He left again.

The head of the CIA called the person responsible.  "Come justify why I'm going to have you tortured."  He hung up and made mental plans.  Maybe that idiot needed some...retraining time.  When the guy didn't show up he sent his bodyguarding agents after him to fetch.  He got dragged back babbling he was sorry and would never do whatever it was again.  "Too late for that since the president heard from a *reporter* that my people were screwing up!" he shouted.  He flung the report at him.  "Justify your stupidity so I have some reason to keep the president from having his mutt feast on my balls for dinner tonight."

He looked then at his boss.  "This is why I'm in trouble?"  His boss slapped him very hard and knocked him down.  "Sorry!  It was helpful though!"

"Send him to retrain at one of the overseas prisons," he ordered his guards.  They shipped him off within an hour for some training time.  The head of the CIA took some advil, made a call he didn't want to make to apologize, and then went to tell the president that he had eliminated the problem by having him tortured overseas.  He might just escape with all his parts.  Maybe.  The president got really paranoid and huffy about GHS things and his dog had eaten more than one set of human balls over this sort of thing.

Not even J. Edgar Hoover would've approved of this method of information gathering and he had a secret sex police that gathered information for him.


Xander hung up with his contact later that night, looking over at Wade.  He switched to an older demon language he knew Anya had taught her boyfriend.  "There's more than that one idiot who thought it was a good idea."  Wade glared at him.  "Including a few who picked some pretty Special Forces people to be injected.  Two SEALs, two Rangers.  One Special Ops Air Force guy and he had a team of Marines he was considering."  Wade shuddered.  "The president is not pleased.  I'm told he walked up to that guy and ordered his guards to shoot him in the back so he was paralyzed but could still be useful if necessary."

"Good!" Wade agreed in English.  The rest of the tour group looked at him.

Xander cleared his throat.  "Remember hearing about that shot?"  They all nodded.  "Someone decided to test that out on an agent and had further ideas beyond that.  It's being stopped."

Horatio looked up then at him.  "Tell me that your patron saint is playing a practical joke?"


"Is he high?" Speed asked.

"I think he's ignoring it before he has to go hurt someone over it."

Horatio nodded.  "That's not a bad idea."

"Fi got the stuff from Sam and Clay."  He grinned.

"Fi... as in Fiona?" Speed demanded.  Xander nodded.  So did Wade.  "Fuck," he said in Spanish, making Mellie wiggle and grin at him.  "I know, someone's teaching you Spanish at poker games."

"I haven't had her at a poker game," Xander defended.  "I had her at the tree house."

Speed nodded.  "We know," Horatio assured him.  He handed his daughter some more peaches, which she adored.  At home she wouldn't eat them but here she was inhaling them.  "It is a stopped plan?"

"The president stopped it."  The other GHS on the trip relaxed at that news.  "Clay also said that Frank disappeared for a few hours and came back hellishly sick.  Jensen quipped and asked if they had made him pregnant."  Horatio shuddered.  "But he's okay now.  Alexx helped him detox and all that good stuff."

"What did they give him?" Speed asked.

"No idea," Xander admitted.

"We'll call Frank later and brag about how good Mellie has been and how pretty it is," Horatio decided.  His husband smiled at him.  One of the other members was giving him a strange look.  "Frank is a detective we work with back at the lab."

"Oh!  So someone snatched him?"  Horatio and Speed both nodded.  "That sucks, Horatio."

"It does," he agreed.  "We'll make sure he's fine later."  He looked down at Xander.  "Any other news from home?"

"Not yet."

"No one could pay me enough to join the retrieval team to go after the ones they had plans for," Wade quipped.

"He pays you?" Speed snarked back.

"I do," Xander agreed.  "Anya made me."  Horatio snorted but smiled.

"I make a very nice ten grand a month," Wade said happily.  He smirked at the baby, who was giving him an evil look.  "Some day you can turn into an assistant like your cousin wants to be too."

"Ray might like that," Speed said.

"I got him an interview with someone who has a lesser assistant spot open," Xander said with a grin.  "Someone connected to the poker circuit on the legit side."

"Thank you.  I hope he gets it," Horatio said.  "I know he's been angsting about not being able to find a job quickly."

"We talked."  He grinned at Mellie, waving at her.  She squealed and waved back.  "I saw you when you played dress up the other day."

"Anya got her butt chewed for sending the kids that and makeup," Wade told Speed.

"Thanks.  Adam might appreciate that since his son ended up in the tutu and makeup."  He grinned at his daughter.  "You make a good geek, daughter.  Some day you'll take Jensen's geek crown without the military training he has."

"If that's what she wants to do," Horatio agreed.  "She might want to follow us into the lab, Timmy."

"Maybe," he agreed.  "I'd have to show her how much hell it is on your nerves before I'd let her start training though."

"I believe she'll learn watching us as she grows up."

"Maybe."  He fed her some of the pasta dish he was having.  She gummed it and grabbed some more from his plate to gum on with her peaches.

Xander grinned.  "We taught her good food habits."

"Yes, we have," Horatio agreed.

"Pepe?" she asked, holding up a slice.

"Peach," Horatio corrected.  "Say the whole word, sweetheart."


"Peach," Xander repeated.

"Pe'ch!"  She smiled at him.

"Good job."  He handed over some of his.  She looked.  His were cooked.  They had stuff on them.  She tasted it and moaned, digging in to inhale his brulee'd peaches.  "Yeah, some day I'll teach you and little Mister Messy at home how to cook.  Then you can stun your daddies and a future boyfriend or girlfriend."

"Between you and Speed she might just become a chef," Wade said.  Speed grinned at him for that compliment.  Xander did too. Mellie was staring at him.  "I don't give in to begging kids or puppies, Amelia."  Mellie pouted at him and pointed at his dessert.  "No, mine.  I deserve it for not taking out the idiot wannabe drug lord who wanted Xander earlier."  Xander stole a berry from the top.  "Xander!"

"You don't like raspberries and it's only the decoration, Wade."  He let her have it.  She sucked on it and grimaced but wanted more.  Horatio got her some of her own.  That made her a happy toddler.

Wade ate his dessert before she could beg for it again.  Xander gave in too easily to begging.  He'd have to toughen the kid up on that problem.


Aphrodite was pissed off.  Some *man* who wanted to be in control of a huge country hated her areas.  He had disrespected birth control, which had been a brilliant idea of hers with Athena's help.  He had disrespected women's desires, their bodies, and their minds.  She was not going to put up with that.  She searched.  Usually she'd have Xander write something nasty about them in the papers.  Since he was in Greece she couldn't.  But....  She found a few who were like her priestesses in Miami and went to talk to them.


The wannabe gang member who was proving his stupidity/manhood/desire to join the gang snuck the two huffy, wiggling things into the hotel where the upcoming talk with the ones who wanted to be president would be taking place.  He got them into the elevator with the help of one of the kitchen staff who was a member of the gang.  He gave him a look for the bandage on his hand.  "Hershey bar," he hissed before getting on the elevator.  "I forgot at first."  He pushed the button and went up to the floor where the conference room was.  The chocolate was staring to wear off.  He snuck the goats into the room and then fled.  He did not want caught there.  His rep would be worse if he was caught there.

One of the reporters looked and gave them an odd look.  "Who has goats that are nearly as tall as a full grown man?"

One of the police guards in the room scowled.  "I've heard something about them but I'm not sure what."  He called his boss to make sure he didn't need animal control.  One of them was growling a bit.  The other was walking toward the stage sniffing everyone.

One of the wannabe nominees looked confused at the beast.  "Who put goats in here?  And who raises mutantly big goats in Miami anyway?"

The police guard hung up.  "Sir," he started.

He was too late.

The goat bit the wanna be nominee on the hand when the guy reached out to pet his ear.  Then the screaming started.  The other ran up at the scent of blood to get his own meal.  He took a chunk out of another's thigh.

One of the contenders had a Secret Service guard.  He was pulling his gun.  The officer stopped him.  "They're diplomatic presents," he said firmly.  "The crime lab knows how to subdue them.  Clear the room.  Get him help."

"It's rabid!" the agent shouted back.

"No, they're anyvores, they eat anything and everything they can get in their mouths.  They've eaten some of the guys that work on the farm where they live!  The only thing that subdues them is chocolate."

"I have some," one reporter said, tossing it from her spot standing on her chair.  The second goat snapped it out of mid-air and soon started to coo and sway happily.  "What are those?"

"Diplomatic presents," the officer said.  A few more officers and detectives came in.  "Detective Tripp, Detective Kowalski, we have no idea how they got here."

Ray just nodded.  "I'll ask the poker circuit later, guys."  He snapped his fingers.  The goats stared at him.  The undrugged one rushed at him.  They both hated him for some reason.  He tossed the candybar at it when it was a few feet away.  It got happy on the chocolate.  "Muzzle?"  The officers got them muzzled and led down to the prisoner transport van they were borrowing.

The Secret Service guard stepped up.  "Do they carry any known diseases, Detective?"

Ray looked at him.  "No, they're just cranky.  Go to Dade General.  They know the goats there."  The agent grimaced but nodded.  Ray looked at the screaming and crying nominee then at the agent again.  "I could make a political statement but I don't need the unpaid vacation."  He followed the officers and Frank out, who was shaking his head.  "Sorry."

"I nearly said something and my wife wants to beat him with a frying pan anyway."  The Mayor and city government were rushing in to see what had happened.  "One of the gang kids stole Harris's goats," he told them when they rushed past them.  The Mayor stopped him so he looked at him.  "We're not sure why yet but one of them stole them for his initiation into his wanted gang.  We got a head's up about five minutes before the officer called in."

"How bad is the damage?" the Mayor asked.

"One guy's hand's missing a good chunk," Ray quipped with a grin.  "One's got a missing bit of thigh.  Could've been a lot worse."

"Yes, it could have been.  Where is Harris?"

"Greece this week," Frank said with a grin.  "We'll find out which gang kid did it and why, Mayor."

"Please.  Let me know as soon as you do."  He let him go and went in to start some damage control.  The politicians were huffing.  "A local resident was given a breeding pair as a diplomatic gift," he told one of the reporters he knew and liked.  "Detective Tripp said that they were stolen from his farm, which has many warnings that the goats will eat anything they can catch, by a gang initiate."

She snickered.  "That was his gang initiation?  Instead of shooting someone?"

"Apparently.  Harris once said that the people who gave them to him use them as a test of manhood.  You walk into an enclosure with only a knife and come out living as a man."

"I can see why," one of the politicians complained.  "Are we sure they're not rabid?"

One of the Selectmen for the City Council shook his head.  "I've seen them after they partially ate a drunk person who came over to pet them during a nighttime stroll."

"I've seen them pounce on a squirrel," another said.  "And then hum happily like it was the best thing ever."

"Harris and Tripp said that the only thing that calms them down is chocolate," the Mayor agreed.  "Apparently it works better on them than it does on my wife."  A few of the reporters laughed.  "Let's get him to Dade General, people.  I know he'll need stitches and possibly a tetanus shot."  The Secret Service guard nodded, calling that in.  That hand looked very bad and they were still missing his thumb.  They didn't want to know where it was.  They probably couldn't recover it in time for it to be reattached.

"Where is the owner?" one of the reporters asked.

"Greece.  He's on a world tour."  The Mayor smiled.  "He'll be back next year right before Mardi Gras."  A few realized who that was and smiled back.  The politicians moved to make statements against the goats and gang kids.

One reporter smiled.  "I've heard a few former military people think that they're tougher than some Marines," she quipped happily.  "I've heard one of their caretakers wanted to send them to his brother in Afghanistan."

The politician in the lead looked at her.  "That's incredibly mean."

She shrugged.  "It might save lives in the long run to let the goats eat the Taliban."

"Still too mean.  The US military doesn't rely on goats to do their killing for them."  He turned away from her and went back to his statement.  The reporters shared a secretive smirk and then at the Mayor, who was still smiling.  It hadn't been a fatality this time, which was very nice.


Ray hung up from talking to Horatio and Speed once he had gotten home from taking the goats back to the farm.  "Mine?" Toby asked, staring at him.  "Me?"

"You know Mellie's not home," he told his son.

"Meme!" he shouted.  Then he pouted at his daddy.

"I can't go grab her from another country, Toby.  You can talk to her tomorrow.  She's in bed and you should be too."  He ran off.  Ray huffed but chased him.

Adam caught him, cuddling him.  "Why are you escaping this time?"

"Meme!  Mine!" he shouted.

"Modulate your tone," Adam ordered.  Pouty Toby face came back.  "Ray, grab the encyclopedia."  It got handed over.  Adam flipped to the map and pointed.  "We are here.  Mellie is here," he said with another point.

"Mine!" Toby said more firmly, scowling now.  "Mine mine mine!"

"You can talk to her tomorrow," Ray said.

"I think he's tired," Adam agreed, getting up to put him down for a nap.

"No!" Toby wailed, wiggling and trying to get free before being put into the crib.  "No!"  The dog came running in and barked at them.  "Help!"

"You, quit," Adam ordered.  Toby started to wail.  The dog started to bark louder.  "That is enough!" he shouted.  The dog stopped and stared.  The baby was still crying.  "Toby, you need a nap," he said more calmly.  He put him down and then walked off.  "I believe I'm going to get some air.  Before I start to scream and rant."

The dog started to bark wildly and they hurried back in there, expecting Toby to be trying to get free of his crib.  Instead, there was no baby.  "Scale," Ray said.

Adam looked then called Sam Winchester to get them a DPP detective.  One showed up before he finished asking him to summon one.  "What took our son?"  He hung up.

"One of the wish demons.  He's with his best friend and favorite uncle.  Which means he'll need his passport."

"He don't have one," Ray said.

"Oh, dear."

Xander texted Ray a simple 'I have Toby' message.  Ray sent one back.  Ray slumped, showing his husband.  "That could help the whine fest."

"Hopefully."  He scowled.  "Can I talk to the one that decided to be helpful?"

"No.  D'Hoffryn's already used his horns on her.  A few of them watch over their former coworker's child to make sure nothing happens to him.  The new one over lost childhoods took him so she didn't have to hear him scream."  The detective disappeared.

Xander sent a message a minute later saying he'd bring Toby back that night, their time, so they could get some rest and he was now napping on Mellie so he had calmed down.  And that Wade was freaked out.

Adam and Ray shared a look.  Ray walked off calling Xander to talk to him.  Adam went into the backyard to calm his temper down.  Perhaps he should encourage Xander to destroy more demon realms.  That way such a thing could never happen again.


A few minutes earlier, Xander looked around at the feeling of the demonic magic.  That's why he was shocked when he felt the pat to his leg and a tear-streaked face staring up at him.  "Toby?"  He picked him up to cuddle.  "What are you doing here?"  There was a note pinned to his shirt so he handed it to Wade while he checked him over.

"Said he was throwing such a fit, Halfrek's successor sent him to calm him down."  Wade looked at the baby then at Horatio.  "Apparently he wanted his mini me there."

"They are very close," Horatio agreed.  "Good afternoon, Toby."  Toby grinned and waved.  Mellie squealed and waved back, getting a squeal and a wave from him.  "I know you two like each other.  Be less loud for a few minutes."  Xander took Mellie to sit her on his lap too.  That ended the squealing across the table and they cuddled instead.

"Awww," Speed said, taking a picture.  "Xander, text Adam or Ray."  Xander did that while the kids cuddled and fell asleep on each other.

"I'll get him back tonight."  They all nodded.  The others in the tour group cooed over the babies.  They were adorable.  Xander grinned at them.  "I'm the best spoiling uncle ever."

"You are," Speed agreed.  "Though we're still going to have a talk about that excessive play village and tree house."

Xander stuck his tongue out then smirked.  "I'm doing her prom and wedding gown too."

"Hopefully she'll be smart and want to have something simple and quiet," Horatio said, staring him down.

"If that's what she wants.  Steve has a savings account just for that and one for Toby too.  Until there's more kids in the family, it's spoiling them, the dogs, and Wade."

"Don't give Anya any ideas, Xander," Wade complained.  "It's bad enough she gave them a trunk full of dress up clothes."

"I think it's a really neat idea," Xander told him.

"It was, but Adam was not amused at his son in the tutu," Wade reminded him.

Xander shrugged.  "There's male ballet dancers.  If that's what Toby wants to be when he grows up, so be it.  Ray will learn to appreciate the ballet if that's what his baby boy loves."

"He will," Horatio agreed.  "The same as if she ended up doing art we didn't like we'd learn."

Speed nodded.  "Thankfully she's not really artistic.  She doesn't even like to fingerpaint."

Xander and Wade looked at him and shook their heads.  "She found the stash of bath-time fingerpaint and got Ramses when we were at home last time."  Wade showed him a picture.  It had Xander colored on too so Wade kept it to embarrass him.

Horatio smiled and passed it on to his husband, who grinned.  "Napping?" he asked Xander, who grinned and nodded.  "Fine."

The manager came over.  "Does the other child need a booster seat?" he asked Xander.

Xander smiled at the very obvious half-demon.  He was a light fuschia color and humans weren't that pink.  "He was throwing a fit.  Halfrek's successor sent him to calm him down.  I'm his favorite uncle."

"I saw.  Is he all right?"  Xander shifted to show them snoring on each other.  "Aww.  Thank you, Lord Xander," he whispered.

"It's not a problem."  He grinned.  "Let me get them back to the hotel room."

"We're going on that tour you begged to go on," Wade reminded him.

"We can rent a stroller or carry him," Xander said.  "Mellie can go back to her 'rents."  Wade nodded.  Mellie was carefully handed down to Horatio, who put her in the backpack system they had.  Xander rented a stroller on the way out of the hotel and they went on their trip.  When Toby woke up he was pouty that Mellie was somewhere else but Xander made up for Mellie and so did the dogs when they got back to the hotel.  Xander flopped down and took Toby out of the stroller, letting him wander around after the dogs.  "There's a lot of signs of turmoil," he said quietly.

"It's quiet right now.  There's been some economic protests," Wade said.  "We'll be fine, Xander.  The security team discussed all that before we even got here."  Xander nodded, relaxing again.  Toby wandered back to stare at him.  "What?"  Toby pointed and grunted.  "Speak, not grunt.  You're not the flying monkey, kid."


"Sure," Xander agreed, getting him one from the fruit dish and peeling it for him.  Toby smiled, sitting down to inhale his snack.  He loved fruit.  The dogs didn't so that was nice and they were more than happy to lounge around and be petted.  Toby finally fell asleep, because at home it was his bedtime.  Xander took him home to his house because he had the portal set up there already and it was easier to hit.  Adam was waiting.  "Just had a banana and fell asleep.  Changed an hour ago," he said quietly.  He handed him over.

"Thank you."

"It's not a problem.  He got some Mellie napping time and pouted a bit that they didn't get much play time but he got some with the dogs.  We saw the Parthenon and other ancient buildings."  He smiled.

"Good.  Thank you, Xander."

"Not a problem."  He stepped back and closed the portal.  Wade had taken the stroller to hand back in.  Xander flopped down to play with his dogs.  They were enjoying all the traveling and the playing.  His 'escort' not so much.  He just laid around and napped so he had the energy to handle Xander.  Thankfully he'd be changing when they went to their next stop.  He wanted someone to travel with him and talk to him, not just sex him up.


Jensen got the bad news personally this time.  He stared at the video chat request, clicking on it.  "What's wrong, Wade, and why are you in an ER?"  He was clearly on his phone.

Wade winced as he moved.  "Stupid jackass that wanted Xander decided I was in his way and tried to blow us up."

"Are you both all right?"

"He's fine and he got the guy in a way that the locals begged to make him stop stabbing him," Wade said, smiling.  "I was so proud of the kid."

"How injured are you?" Jensen asked.  "CLAY!"  He looked at the screen again.  Clay stomped in.

"I'm mostly all right.  I have a broken leg.  My knee's screwed up.  The docs want me on bedrest for two weeks at the least.  They're talking about a knee replacement."

Clay nodded.  "Okay.  His escort?"

"Leaving once we leave Greece."

"Damn it," Clay muttered.

Jensen looked up at his boss.  "Remember, Xander's not allowed to travel without him or someone like him," he said quietly.

"I remember.  How long?" he asked Wade.

"We leave tomorrow."

"Let me call the guys in charge," Clay said, walking off.

"Where are you going to recover at?" Jensen asked.  "I can make you plane reservations."

"I can go to the house in Italy.  They'll be there in a few days.  Or I can come home and let Anya nag me."

Jensen called her.  "It's Jensen.  Wade's got a broken leg, Anya.  Do you want him to come home?"  He listened.  "Okay."  He hung up.  "She said go to Italy."  Wade smirked at him.  "She said she can't fuss over anyone but she'll pop over with your namesake."

"If she must.  Xander might be not like the monkey," Wade said dryly.

"Probably."  He looked at things.  "You guys are going to Italy?"  Wade nodded.  "Okay, travel with them.  I've got a ride set up to get you up there."  Wade nodded again and hung up.  Jensen got up to grab his phone and called someone.  "It's Jensen.  Wade broke his leg thanks to someone trying to bomb him to get Xander.  No, Xander stabbed them a whole lot, Tony.  Wade said the locals begged him to stop and he was proud of him for it so it was clearly messy."

Pooch leaned in.  "What happened?"

"Someone tried to bomb Wade."

"Great!" he said bitterly.  He walked off to talk to Clay.  "Who are we calling to get the kid backup?" he asked.

"Still figuring that out."

"Let me know.  Jolene wants some warning."

"I'll try."  Clay went back to talking to the head of the retrieval teams.


Xander glared at the person walking up to him.  It was a member of the group's security team.  "I'm not a happy camper."

"I know.  How's Wade doing?"

"He's a bit high on the pain killers for his leg."  He petted the dog next to him.  Ramses was hovering near the daddy while Hershey and Kiss were off being walked.  Ramses went on alert and stared off to the side.  Xander looked then sighed.  "Down, Ramses," he said quietly.  "It's an evil thing but Daddy can kill it."  The dog sat and still looked very alert.  Xander looked at the member of the security team.  "Did anyone talk to Clay about *why* I have to travel with Wade?  Why I'm *mandated* to have him with me?" he asked quietly.

"No, we haven't," he said.  He walked off calling Clay, which was busy.  He called Pooch to ask.  Pooch had an idea but couldn't tell him.  He handed the phone to Clay though and Clay told him.  "Great," he said in response, being sarcastic.  "How are we handling it beyond letting Ramses growl at the guy who wanted a kiss from Xander?"  He looked over.  "Xander, stab him if he's a problem."

"He's not yet."  He stared at the demon, who backed off and bowed then left.  He got up and came over, taking the leashes back.  "Thanks."

"We don't want you anywhere alone," Sheila, the female on the guard team, reminded him.

"Did you know why?" that guard asked.

"Slightly."  She looked at Xander.

"Jensen and them are figuring things out."  Xander looked at the dogs.  "Let's go inside, kids."  They followed the daddy.

The guards shared a look and Sheila went to watch over Xander.  His 'escort' was falling down on the job in the most major way.

The others got the rest of the team together to talk about this new problem.  They had no idea who Clay would send in Wade's place.


Xander came off the plane the next day.  Wade had said if he tried to help him he was going to be stabbed so he was just getting out of the way.  Wade got helped down by the stewardess, who had fussed over him the whole trip.  He had stared down her shirt mostly but put up with it.  Xander spotted someone watching.  The guy was wearing leather pants and a fairly tight t-shirt.  Boots.  Sunglasses.  Spiky blond hair.  Xander strolled over with a smirk.  "Are you Jensen's evil twin?" he teased.

"Only some days."  Jensen lowered his sunglasses.  "I'm your new personal assistant."

"Ooooh."  Xander grinned.  Jensen grinned back.  The dogs came rushing down and barked, getting petted by Jensen.  The Customs people glared at him.  Xander showed them the papers.  "Who let you guys out?"

"Sir, we must quarantine...." one of the Customs people said in English.  One of the guards presented papers and said something quietly in Italian.  The guard nodded.  "My apologies," he said in English.  "We do have exceptions for guard and service animals."

Xander smiled.  "Thank you.  They're all fully K-9 trained."  He handed over his papers.  Jensen had already gotten his stamped.  The group got rearranged.  Wade got taken to his car for the trip to the house.

"Have a good rest," Jensen quipped with a wave and a smirk.  "We'll be up there in four days."

"I'll try to be better by then," Wade grumped.

Xander looked at Jensen.  "Didn't Clay say you guys aren't my personal retrieval team?" he teased.

"Yup but it was him or me and he didn't think he could follow you around all the museums."  They walked off together.  The guard team was staring.  He grinned and wiggled his fingers at them.  "Hi, guys."

"Jensen, why are you here?" Sheila asked.

"I'm Xander's assistant until Wade's better."  The group of them whined.

"We're adorable together.  We go everywhere in Miami," Xander quipped.  The dogs got into their car.  Jensen got in with him.   The others got into their cars and went to the hotel.  They had a whole month in Italy, in three cities and a weekend at Xander's house.  They'd handle it and hopefully Jensen could help Xander be a bit more stable.

So when everyone heard Xander squealing they just shrugged it off.  Jensen squealing got the same treatment.  Yeah, they were cute together.


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