Pouty Boys.

Xander looked at the email he had gotten from his Greggy buddy, smiling a bit.  "That's a nice list."  He found links to various picture sites so he could see what they looked like.  Most of them looked fairly nice.  One of the agents wandering around his island came in, giving him an odd look for the picture he was looking at.  "How heavy are those?"

"Those are illegal to own, Mr. Harris," he said patiently.

Xander looked at him.  "Horatio confiscated my weapons.  That's what got us kidnaped the last time."  The agent gave him a horrified look.  "I'll hide them to make sure no one else can use them but the family but I'm going to have a few higher weapons just in case I need them for my safety and security.   Even if I do have to create a situation where I start my own country."  He stared at him and the agent backed off, heading to call his boss and let him know what had been said.  Xander went back to browsing.  His head was throbbing but nothing was going to take the pain away this time.  Even if he couldn't whine at the agents, he didn't feel like whining at anyone.  He felt like hell.  He leaned back, sending back a simple 'thank you, I'll look into them to see if I want them' email.  He got one from Danny telling him to come home.  It wasn't fair that they couldn't baby him.  He wrote him a longer one.  Greg forwarded him the email that Horatio and Mac had sent Gibbs, making him frown and write Horatio back.  "I don't know that many weapons people, guys," he muttered as he typed.  "Otherwise I'd have more toys."  The lead agent stomped in and he waved.  "What?"

"You had weapons?  Real weapons?"

Xander squinted at him since he was standing in some light.  "Go ask Horatio.  It was keeping my GHS ass safe."  The agent snarled and pulled out cuffs.  "Try it and find your ass in the ocean.  I am *not* in a happy mood with the backlash I have because I had to save our asses this time.  I'm *so* going to nag Horatio for taking my weapons since it meant we were seen as weak enough to take again.  If you must know things, call him.  He's still in LA.  Want the number to the Hyperion?"  The agent huffed and stomped off to call his boss.  He sent Greg the number at the Hyperion for whichever agent would want it.   That way someone without a headache could nag Horatio for him.


Greg looked at his newest email.  "For some reason, Xander thinks someone will want to get hold of Horatio while he's in LA.  He sent the number to the Hyperion with a small mutter about huffing agents."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Send it to me, Sanders."  He forwarded it and Gibbs called someone.  "It's Gibbs," he said in greeting.  "Harris is pissing off your agents.  I have their number if they need to get hold of Caine while he's in LA."  He looked at it then read it off.  "That's the Hyperion, where everyone's hiding until they can get back tomorrow."  He hung up, shaking his head.  "Any idea what started that problem?"

Greg sent the question to Xander, who sent back a short description.  "One of the agents caught him looking at the weapons I found him and protested.  He told them to blow him basically and to ask Horatio why."

McGee typed in something, handing over a small piece of paper he wrote a number on.  "Agent Ferngully's number, boss.  That way Horatio can call him directly to get that straightened out before Mr. Harris has to pull something that makes the agents drooling slaves after him?"

"No, that's my ploy," Tony said dryly as he came down the stairs.  "Why would Xander be doing that?"  Greg let him see the current email and he snorted.  "Xander could probably declare that island a separate nation at the moment.  That would let him have as many weapons as he wanted.  Plus the *other room* in his house."

Greg snickered.  "That could be shut up suddenly."

"Yeah, but a warehouse could have a fire too," Tony pointed out, sitting down.  "Does anyone else wonder how Miami's doing and if they're feeling bored?"

"No, they're not," Greg promised. "I wrote Ray.  The Xander Society of Poker Buddies is *pissed* at the people who took Xander this time.  Ready to start a battle pissed.  Miami vs. LA style pissed.  It's going to make the rapper wars look puny since three of his poker buddies are international assassins and another one's a multi-national cartel lord.  Not to mention the other gang members, the two or three semi-legit people who're recently retired, Sonny Sassone and a few other notable New York thugs, and the only Canadian mobster on record."

Gibbs stared at him.  "Is he still playing poker?"

"Caine made himself very clear.  He walked into one of the games, took off his sunglasses, looked right at Sonny then at the others and told them Xander was no longer allowed to play poker because they had been mean to Xander.  Even though the Mala Noches liked Xander enough to not take him out unless the contract was very high, and the General's empire was now in very bad shape thanks to screwing with Xander and the Noches, Xander was going to have to withdraw until such a time as they could play nicely with him again.  Sonny apparently snarked something and Horatio glared then told one of the other guys to tell him why.  The other guy reported it very well, he was an undercover agent actually and gave a precise report.  Sonny decided Xander was scarier than any gay man he'd ever met and most of the thugs he knew too.  He'd respect that and try to keep the trouble down around Xander before Xander had to handle something else.  Caine told him that's why he was there instead of Xander then slid back on his sunglasses, told them to keep Miami from turning into a warzone or a Xander present givers zone, then left.  Later that night I heard six different people who wanted to take Xander were handed over mysteriously by the black van method at the station when they were shoved out of a moving black van then it sped off."  He grinned sweetly.  "Horatio laughed when he said that last part."

Tony shook his head.  "I'm *so* damn glad I'm not a level ten."

"You and me both," Greg reminded him.

McGee took the simple course.  He looked up and thanked God neither of them were level nines or tens.

"Welcome," Aphrodite called, appearing in the middle of the row.  She smirked at him.  "Level tens are my baby boy's special presents to the world."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "You're so adorable!" she cooed.  She looked at Greg.  "He's about to beat the agents.  Ares and Strife went to throw them in the ocean for him."  She smirked at Gibbs.  "Don't worry, sweetie, I don't show up often unless you're one of my favorite couples."

"I knew I was cute but you like us that much?" Greg teased.

She laughed.  "You're not bad.  Not fully true love but not bad.  You're a good match together and very warmth inducing.  Hephie had to change the stones in my chain thong because of you two."  She winked at Tony, who blushed.  She laughed at Gibbs' look too.  "Now, we should work on you."

"No thanks.  Tried that a few times.  Had enough."

"Who is *that*?" the new director shouted from the walkway.

Aphrodite looked up and wiggled her fingers, then winked.  "Love goddess.  You?  I'm trying to find someone good for this studly pookie."  She patted Gibbs on the head.  Then she disappeared.

The director stared at him.  "What the hell, Gibbs!"

"She's a friend of Xander's, sir," Greg called.  "She came to set him up."

"Well keep her out of the building!" he shouted, going back to his office.

Strife appeared but only to them, shaking his head.  "She's gonna make him have a stroke soon."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Yes, run. It's a good strategy.  Especially if you see the crossbow with the heart on the end of it.  Run like hell and cover your ass."  He disappeared again.  "Xander's fine.  The agents are begging Ares prettily."

"Well, he is big and buff," Tony quipped, making McGee glare at him.  "He is!"

"I didn't need that thought, Tony.  Thank you anyway!"

"Welcome," Greg said happily.

McGee got up and went for coffee before he said something else.

Gibbs looked at them.  "Go wear it out, boys," he ordered calmly.  "Before she comes back to watch."  They went to borrow Abby's office for that.  She never minded and liked to watch them wear those things out.  He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes so he could take a short nap.  He needed a nap after watching her in that outfit of hers.  He hadn't known women could shave that much of themselves.  His ex-wives hadn't.


Xander pouted at Ares later that afternoon.  "Where am I going to get more weapons this time?"

"I've got a few contacts," he said, giving him a look.  "No pouting at me, Xander.  Your boys would hate it if I cured it for you."

"Thankfully the backlash is keeping it down," he complained, resting against his side.  "Can I have the pretty, big weapons?"

"Sure."  He patted him on the shoulder, shaking his head when the young man fell asleep against his side.  "It's not wearing it out, Xander."  He sent him back to his bed and got up, going to shoo the agents off the island.  He was tired of them.  He cleared his throat from the doorway of the office.  "Gentlemen.  Aren't you done yet?"

"No, we're still considering if we need to remove the machines for the safety of the world.  That way he can't make level ten babies," one said smartly.

Ares turned him into a goat.  "He's infertile.  A good ten percent of GHS are infertile, even with cloning."  They all moaned.  "Let me rephrase my earlier statement.  You're done."  They nodded, going back to the plane.  "Don't forget your goat."

"Can you maybe change him back?" Agent Ferngully asked politely.  "He's clearly a sheep instead of a goat, sir."

Ares laughed.  "I like that.  His boss will be able to change him back."

"Thank you, sir."  He walked the goat out with them.  The other agents gave him an odd look.  "Lord Ares said he'd be changed back by our boss."  He tied him to the back seat in the plane while the pilot got them ready for takeoff, shaking his head.


Gibbs looked at the agent sitting across from him the next morning; he and Fornell were having coffee to talk about a situation that had come up when Agent Ferngully walked over a ...goat.  "What is that?"

"Lord Ares turned him into this when he questioned him, Agent Gibbs.  He said his boss could change him back but it's apparently not our direct boss.  He told me to try Fornell because he thinks he might've known him."

Fornell looked at the goat then at him.  "What makes you think I'd want him back if he was stupid enough to piss off a god?"

"He has four children and a wife, sir.  I'm sure she'd like to divorce him legally since he's that stupid and he was cheating on her.  Then someone could change him back for all we care.  He even tried to arrest Mr. Harris when he said he used to have weapons but Lieutenant Caine confiscated them, thus getting them kidnaped again."

"We heard," Fornell assured him.  He smacked the goat on the head and it changed back.  "Go clean out your desk," he ordered.  "I will not have people stupid enough to piss off a God on my payroll."  He whimpered but let the other agent drive him back.  "Think I could send that one to Miami?" he asked Gibbs, who was snickering quietly.

"I think you guys should have a small office that deals with GHS matters," he shot back.  "Kidnapings, international issues, terrorists who give DiNozzo diamonds.  Sounds like it's your people's jobs."

"Don't remind me.  Did we get them?"

"We did," he said happily.  "Sanders was not impressed and told him so during interrogation.  Nearly made him cry that two GHS were together instead of being the proper pets they should be.  He offered them both a spot but Greg had to be drug out before he struck him.  McGee gave him some very good reasons about why dealing with two GHS was horrible.  That did make him cry.  He confessed as long as we didn't tell his kind that he broke down."

"Sure, I won't tell them," Fornell said with an evil smirk.

"I didn't and that was my promise.  Telling you isn't telling a terrorist."  He gave him a look.  "Anything new we've heard?"

"Nope.  How long have GHS been annoying the world?"

"The group formed in the sixteen hundreds according to Ducky."  He let out a small sigh.  "Back then it was favored concubine penpals."

"Now they're more free to not be owned so they don't have the same sort of trouble," he decided.  Gibbs nodded.  "Are there other level tens?"

"They live in fortresses with guards and multiple lovers.  The one that vexes my team now and then only has two lovers and two backups.  Most of them have four full-time and then helpers from the guards."  Fornell moaned.  "Plus he leaves the house and most of them don't.  He's easily bored."

"Poor Miami."

"Miami's pretty safe for him," Gibbs said dryly.  "Apparently his former poker buddies are keeping it safe enough for him.  Caine said so."  Fornell burst out laughing at that.  "Ever seen a convention?"

"Not yet.  I'm told I'm taking some very liberal agents to the next one."

"They have a room that's nothing but a huge cuddle pile according to DiNozzo."  That got a shudder.  "Some shopping, dinners, panels for different topics.  DiNozzo runs self- defense for the group.  He's one of the very few officers."

"Is Caine?" he asked quietly, glancing around.  Gibbs nodded a fraction of an inch.  "You're sure?"  He nodded that same fraction of an inch.  "He doesn't seem it."

"Silk suits?" he countered.  "Pampered and spoiled by his department?"

"Never mind.  That makes a lot more sense.  Does he have a keeper?"  Gibbs smirked but nodded.  "In the same lab?"  He nodded again. "Delko?"



"They're basically the parent figures over that whole group down there.  They've got a few in the detectives, a few in the labs, and Wolfe, who's a priest of Ares."

Fornell shuddered.  "So he carries around a sword and ram armor?"

"No, he's tattooed for that part.  Sword I heard he does carry in his hummer and one in his locker as well.  Plus Harris uses a sword form of self-defense training so they all play with swords down there with him.  Keeps them in good shape according to DiNozzo and Sanders.  They learned that strange dancing, sword fighting, self-defense thing Harris learned.  Keeps them in great shape."

"Don't let it become the newest hollywood fad," Fornell ordered.

"Apparently only they can do it."

"Even better.  Have any clue how to stop it for your boys?"

"Get more of them into DC.  It doesn't happen that often to Harris because he's surrounded by others.  Here they stand out more."

"A blue light in a room full of blue and white lights doesn't stand out but a blue light in a room full of white lights does," Fornell summarized.  Gibbs nodded.  "Any way to encourage more to move here?"

Tony walked over and sat down.  "There's a few who're coming in with the new senators."  He stared at them.  "Talking about us in public is not a good idea, boss."

"We made sure no one could hear," Gibbs pointed out.

Tony pointed at one guy.  "He's got a distance hearing set, boss."  Gibbs glared and the guy pulled out a badge.  "Yay, we have one too."  The man came over to show his.  Tony looked at him.  "Which one are you after?"

"We're protecting your ass, Agent DiNozzo.  We heard you were recently wanted by a terrorist."

"Yeah, he wanted to acquire us.  McGee told him how horrible that would be so he broke."  The man moaned.  "The boss handles that for us.  Any threats you hear, please give to him?"

"Of course, Agent DiNozzo."  Tony stared at him so he smirked.  "I used to help a level three."

"Ah.  So you do know?"  He nodded.  "Good, we like the idea to make a single unit of the FBI deal with us."  He blinked his big green eyes at him.  "You?"

"I can see the benefits, especially those of us who used to be keepers," he said dryly, walking off.  "I'll gather the files I have, sir."

"Thank you."  He looked at them.  "Greg and I were having breakfast in the car listening to you two."  He smiled at them.  "Quit.  Before you have to go to somewhere to rescue one of us.  If it happens again we're quitting and moving to Xander's island."  He stood up and went to get a refill of his coffee.

"No I'm not.  The cable's great but I'd be bored," Greg called from the car.  "Maybe half the year."  He put his window back up.

Fornell shook his head quickly.  "They're going to drive you insane, Jethro."

"DiNozzo was already trying that.  Hasn't succeeded yet."  He glared at Tony when he strolled off.  "Aren't you supposed to be at your desk?"

"Aphrodite came back to talk to Abby.  The director ended up humping his filing cabinet and computer monitor after he broke the screen to get a hole.  The whole office has the day off but is on-call."  He went back to the car and got in to drive the special SUV off.

Fornell watched the truck go.  "That thing is massive."

"Harris gave it to them as a happy getting together present," Gibbs said dryly.  "Has two gas tanks, regular seats in the back since Harris' has limo style seats.  It has emergency compartments.  It has a very good engine.   It has backing up and undercarriage cameras.  It's got a good security system.  It's bulletproof up to fifty caliber shells.  I want them driving that instead of either of their cars.  It's safer."

"Gas guzzler?"

"Definitely but yay.  We even take it for out-of-city calls now."  He finished his coffee.  "It was an expensive toy but a good one."

"We might have to get the more normal version if we do end up setting up that unit."  He got up and went to talk to his boss once he had a refill.  "Sir," he said when he walked into his office.  "Your secretary was gone.  Do you have a few?"

"Of course, Agent Fornell.  What's wrong?  Did they turn that one boy back?"

"Yes, sir, and I fired him for being stupid enough to mouth off to a God."  That got a nod.  "Plus I was told he was cheating on his wife."  He sipped his coffee, noticing how relaxed he was.  "You know about the current GHS problems in DC?"  He nodded slowly.  "It was suggested by a few different sources that we start a unit of agents who can deal with them.  Preferably ones who've dealt with one in the past but they'd get to handle the kidnaping, presents, terrorists, weapons, and all that stuff that seems to go with being a higher level member."

"It's not a bad idea.  Miami could definitely use it."

"Caine has most of them scared and with so many I'm told that the problems are less."

"That's an interesting point.  Can we get more to move to DC if that is true?"

"DiNozzo said a few senators are moving in with theirs soon."

"Ah.  That's always a good thing then."  He considered it, leaning back in his chair.  "I think we can do that.  Do you know anyone who used to handle one?"  He wrote down a name.  "Which agency?"

"ATF.  He was listening to us this morning.  DiNozzo nearly bit us for talking at an empty coffee shop.  He said he had dealt with a level three in the past."

"So he'd know," he decided.  "I'll see what I can do.  It'd be a multi-task project with a very small pool of problems."

"You could almost make it a very loose unit, sir.  A few in the various offices?"

"That I can see.  Specialized training?"

"The website has an address for their national head.  Ask him, sir.  He might even know some other agents who have been broken up with or who're presently in the agency.  I know at least one of my guys has a lower level at home."

"Good.  I'll do that.  Good suggestion, Fornell."  He nodded and left so he let his secretary out from under his desk.  "That's not a bad idea."

"I know one of my brother's frat brothers used to date DiNozzo way back when but he went dom and they don't like that."

"That's fine.  Have someone pull me a good range of files to pick them."  She nodded, going to do that.  He leaned back to enjoy his afterglow and think about the idea.  He did log onto the website to send an email to the national head.  It would make his people more secure, he shouldn't mind that much.  Not like they'd be asking for membership lists.  They had already stolen DiNozzo's membership directory for the year to make sure no others were in DC.


Horatio answered his phone. "We're in the airport," he reported.  He blinked.  "I don't know, Adam.  What was suggested?"  He snickered as the email was read to him.  "That would help Paul definitely."  He snickered at the complaint going on.  "Well, yes, but it could still help them and us.  Maybe be able to head off kidnapings in this country?  Perhaps arrest some of the sick people who keep sending us stuff?  Maybe they'll make it so it's only training that kicks in when something happens."

"Tony said his directory was stolen," Don reminded him.  "Gibbs handed it back."

"Don said that Gibbs stole Tony's directory at one point to see if he had more to protect in DC."  He laughed at the suggestion he'd have five more in the new year from new senators.  "That's fine, Adam.  We'll talk about it when we get back."  He hung up and got into the screening line.  Mac was in the lead and of course they beeped on him.  "We're police officers out of Miami," Horatio told him.  "Him, her, me, those two, and that one," he said, pointing at all of them.  They were pulled out to be hand wanded instead.  The machine would pick up any gunpowder residue on them.  Their bags got scanned and they were left to go to the boarding area.  Where Danny got picked for a secondary bag check but he only sighed and let them check.  The chocolates got an odd look but nothing more was said.

It'd be an uneventful flight, they hoped.


Xander woke up needy and wanting, pouting at the ceiling since nothing was around.  He got up to look around but no sex toys either.  He didn't feel too bad.  Maybe he could make the portal back to his house?  No, he tried and the headache started.  That did not go well with the GHS urges.  So instead he went to call his pilot and take a shower.  He came out when he heard a plane coming in to land.  The rented pilot nodded at him. "Thank you," he said quietly.  "A peaceful ride so I can nap off the headache?"  That got a nod and the pilot went back to the cockpit so they could take off and go back to Miami.  Xander tipped his chair back, settling in for the few hours they'd take.  It was a smooth ride.


Horatio came off the plane and into his boss's welcoming party.  "Sir," he said.

"Horatio."  He shook his hand. "Mac.  Thank you for trying to save them."

"It's what I do, sir.  They're friends.  Are the labs all right?"

"They're fine, boys.  Come on.  We got sent word that Xander left his island and is coming home as well."  Danny and Don jogged toward the private plane terminal.  "Anxious?"

"They are his lovers," Horatio reminded him. "Guys, Xander's coming in too."  They nodded, heading that way once they had their bags.  Plus Danny and Don's bags.  Their boss walked with them.  "Was there a problem?" he asked quietly.

"I want to know your plans for his weapons."

"A sealed, alarmed, protected warehouse," Horatio told him.  "We have no idea what we're getting him yet."

"That's fine.  I do want to be kept in the loop."

"Of course.  His gun locker is already a good size."  That got a nod.  "Did someone find them?"

"I had Tripp look it up, Horatio."  That got a small smile.  "He nearly had a heart attack when he did a property search."

"More than the house and the farm?"

"The old house is still owned by him."

"It's for sale but hasn't been taken yet," Horatio admitted.   "Did he own either of the warehouses?"

"He owns one warehouse and it is protected but it looks like a present depository."

Horatio whimpered.  "Artwork?"

"That too, Horatio."  He patted him on the arm.  "He has the information for you tomorrow.  I only expect you to check in today."

"Thank you, sir.  Sorry it took us so long to get back."

"You can't help filled flights, Horatio."  He smirked a tiny bit.  "Did you get the suggestion to train FBI agents in each office in how to deal with your sort?"

"I did and Adam's not sure it's a good idea.  It could lead to us being more open, which would cause problems."

"That's one thing to consider.  Though I believe someone's managed to get membership directories each year for the past three when his wife brought hers back to the Philadelphia office."

Horatio shook his head, sighing a bit.  "Most of us lock those up."

"All level tens and nines are sent separately to people in law enforcement?"  Horatio nodded.  "That's probably a very good idea."

"We do tend to run into them," he agreed.  "We'll talk about that at the next convention, sir."

"That's fine, Horatio.  It'd be like special training by what their director wants.  A few agents in each office.  After all, Agent DiNozzo nearly got presents from a terrorist."

"That's why he's an agent, sir."

"Good point.  Do you think they don't know Mr. Harris?"

Horatio looked at him.  "With his former poker buddies?  I'm sure they do.  I'm also sure they got the point that trying for Xander pisses us all off."  They caught up with the others.  "Boys, Xander apparently has a present warehouse Frank found?"

Don looked at him and nodded.  "Not just his.  It's mostly not presents but one of the upper GHS just died and left him some stuff.  So he rented somewhere."

"Bought," the Chief corrected.

"He said rented.  I'll have to spank for that," Danny said dryly.  Don gave him a fond look.  "He shouldn't lie."

"Maybe it's a different place," Stella pointed out.

"We'll be finding that out too," Danny assured her happily.

"Frank did, boys, and Stella.  When he found that one he went to feed your pets and check the files in the office.  He found a lot of information."  Mac and Horatio both shook their heads.  "Is he playing poker again?"

"No, sir, he's just being naughty," Danny assured him.  "We'll handle it tonight."

"Don't be too hard on him.  He's probably a bit bored, boys."

"We've been trying to get him new hobbies," Don promised.  "He's just started to learn leather work."

"Yes, I heard rumors about the new thong Speedle got."  Speed nodded.  He pointed.  "That's probably him."  They turned and he left.   They could talk to their own problematic boy later on.  After they made sure he was all right and fussed over him a few times.  He did call Frank's desk to let him know they were back so he could go over for dinner or something.  It'd make it easier on his favorite headaches.


Xander came off the plane, shaking the pilot's hand.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, sir."

Xander slid on his sunglasses and walked inside, letting the customs people take his bag and passport.   He had found a copy down there in the office.  That was nice of his former desirer.  He got passed through and came out to the rest of his family.  "You didn't all have to come pick me up."

"We only got back a half-hour ago.  We waited," Danny said, pulling him in for a hug.  "You good?"

"Headache, otherwise fine."  He grinned.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," he promised.  "Fred fussed in your place while we healed the minor scratches and stuff."  Xander nodded, resting his head on his shoulder.  "C'mon, we should go home and eat."

"I'm too tired to cook."

"We'll order," Don promised, taking him for his own cuddles.  Xander smiled at him.  "C'mon.  Frank's been feeding the pets."  They nodded, walking out together.

A messenger came running over to the group.  "Lieutenant Caine?"  Horatio raised a hand slightly so the envelope was handed over.  "Here you go, sir.  It was left for you yesterday so you could get home."  He nodded and Don tipped the boy, letting him run off again.

Horatio opened the envelope, smiling at the simple message.  "Frank drove Xander's SUV over, boys.  It's in short term and he included the parking fee too."  They nodded, heading that way.  It was the only vehicle that could fit all of them with the limo-style backseat.  Horatio slid in to drive.  He had driven it before.  It was a very comfortable, easy ride.  Even if it did  have the turning radius of a small tank.  Stretch Range Rovers and Hummers both had the turning radius of a small tank so he was used to it.  He made sure they were all settled, then backed out slowly, watching the rear bumper camera.  He put it in drive and went forward.  The toll taker had to reach up to get the fee but he smiled at her.  "Thank you."  He drove off, heading for Xander's house.  He even called Frank on the way.  "Did you feed and water our ferrets as well, Frank?  We are driving home.  That's fine.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He's been checking on Ray Junior.  He's been feeding all the pets for the last few days," he called into the back area.  He checked the mirror.  Xander was on Don's lap with Danny stroking his back.  The others were stretched out.  He smiled, going back to the road.  Speed took his hand to hold.  "At least we did get a day off," he said quietly.

"We did.  The shopping was fun."  He smirked a bit.  He pointed in the mirror.  "Lights."

Horatio checked then pulled over, rolling down his window.  "Yes, Officer?"

"Sir, is this vehicle legal?" he asked.

"Yes, Officer, it is," Horatio said.  He pulled out the proper forms, showing it to him.  "I noticed the license plate was on."

"It is, sir.  Doesn't mean it's street legal."  He looked it over.  "Shouldn't you have a chauffeur's license for something this big?"

"It's a personal vehicle, not commercial," Speed said.  "The owner's resting in the back."

"Really?  Are we perhaps bothering him, sir?  This vehicle is on a watch list because the owner is ...bothered now and then."

Horatio looked at him over the edge of his sunglasses.   "No, we're not, Officer.  Why would myself, half my lab, half of Detective Taylor's lab, and his lovers be bothering him?"  The officer gave him an odd look.

"We're just getting back from a kidnaping.  We're tired," Speed told him.  "You're making Horatio cranky.  That's always a bad idea since he's the head of the felony crime lab, kid."  The officer snickered.  "Honestly."  He called someone, putting the phone on the hands-free set Xander had in the car.  "Sir, please talk to the officer who just pulled us over?"

"Son, this is Chief Williams."

"Sir," he said, snapping closer to attention.

"They're not taking Mr. Harris.  These are the ones who guard him and who the boy spoils.  I'm sure Mr. Harris has a headache from his recent kidnaping and is in the back.  Yes?"

"I'm tired," Xander complained.  "I have backlash from saving our asses."  He crawled forward, giving the officer a mean look.  "You said mean things about my hair too.  Go away."  He took the papers back and reached over Horatio to put the window up then went back to his snuggling.  It was making his head hurt less.

Horatio smiled, putting the privacy window up before rolling down his again.  "He's got a headache."

"Fine, sir.  I will be checking into your story."

"You're zealous, we like that," Speed said.  "Annoying us probably isn't that wise but it's good you're determined.  Take the detective's exam, kid."  He hung up on the Chief and let Horatio roll them on.  "This is kinda tank like," he said quietly.

"If it wasn't a personal car, we'd all have to up our licenses to drive it.  I checked, we don't have to as long as it doesn't work."  That got a nod.   He pulled off the highway onto their exit and headed down into traffic.  A few of the drivers gave him interested looks.

Speed looked at one then at him.  "They're jealous," he teased.

"They probably think it  uses too much gas," he joked back.  He called Frank.  "Should we pick you up?"  He snickered at the answer of 'getting a snack on my way there'.  "If you're sure, Frank."  He hung up and kept going.  He turned toward the more exclusive neighborhoods and the sneers started to come out.  "I should turn up the radio and thump a few of the boys and girls off the road."

Xander put down the privacy screen and reached up to flip a switch, making the exterior lights come on.  Then he looked at Horatio.  "I had her tricked a bit more recently," he said with a wicked grin.  "Undercarriage lights and roof ones that beam down to tint the sides."  He smirked at Speed.  "What did you guys do on your day off?"

"Shopped so we had something to wear today.  You okay?"

"Headache.   Need worn out.  The usual."  That got a nod.  "What are we ordering for dinner?"

"Depends, what do we have in the house for ready cash?" Don asked.

"Um, you emptied the safe again," Xander said, giving him a look.

"Hit the ATM, Horatio?" Don called.

"I doubt it'll fit inside," he complained.

Xander pointed.  "Go there, I'll hit it."  Horatio pulled in beside it and let Xander get out of the back to get into the ATM with the card he kept for such problems.  It did have a low overhang.  He got money and came back, waving at the officer following them.  He climbed in and shut the door, handing Don the money.  "There, get dinner."  That got a nod.  "Done, Horatio."

"It's reading as the door's open."  Don closed it again and the light went off so he drove on.  It was a powerful feeling driving this thing.  He pulled into their community's gates, getting a nod from the guards.  The driveway's gate was already open so he pulled in and parked in the garage, getting everyone out and inside.

"Daddy's home!" Xander called.  The dogs and Hubert came running to play with him.  "Daddy missed you boys.  Yes he did," he cooed, settling in the kitchen to play with them.  They barked and went to play with the others when they were done with him.

Danny pulled Xander up off the floor with a groan, taking him into the bedroom to play with him for a few minutes.  He kicked the door shut for some privacy but otherwise his boy's ass was his.  He skimmed him out of his pants, checking him.  "No lube?" he teased.

"Not even a sex toy down there," he pouted.

"We can fix that," he promised.  He found their last bottle of lube and got what they needed out of the drawer.  He slicked his boy up and slid inside, making him moan as he grabbed onto one of the uprights on the bed.  He rode him hard, making him get off.  "That's my boy."  He came and slid out, putting the plug in instead. "There you go, Xander."  Xander smiled.  "Feel better?"


"You can pounce Don later."  Xander nodded, letting him cuddle.  "Good boy.  Now, go tell Don what you want for dinner."  Xander bounced out to do that once he had on pants again.  Danny cleaned himself up, tossing out the empty bottle.  He walked out to the living room.  "Anyone have any lube in their room?  We're out."

"Not that I know of," Ryan said from his seat.  "Need a run to the porn store?"

"Yup," Don agreed.  Xander gave him a naughty look.  He spanked him gently.  "Behave."  Xander shook his head.  "We'll go later, Xander.  Even to the one you like since it's more naughty."  Xander beamed at him.

"Are we going home tonight?" Speed asked Horatio.

"We probably should check in with Ray."

Ryan coughed.  "He's on his way over with dinner."  That got a nod.  "Go ahead, Don."  He nodded, going to take the corvette and Xander to pick up the necessary things, plus some new toys.  They found their wallets and ID's in the seat so Xander went to hand them out then came back so they could head off.  Ryan grinned at Horatio.  "I checked in already.  It was quiet while we were gone.  Sheldon and Calleigh ran things.  Only one homicide, a hit and run.  His lab solved it and then they went for pizza since it was teenager love rage."

"She stole my boy?" Danny asked.

"No, he's cheating on me, I'll show him," Ryan told him.  That got a nod.  "Apparently he was cheating a lot.  Her, the football team, the girl's soccer team, a few teachers.  He was only charging a few of them."  Horatio shook his head.  "He had a nice college fund.  That's what his mother said he was doing."  Speed shook his head.  That was even worse.   "His father wanted her charged with murder one for keeping his son from going to college.  Said she was selfish."

"His son being a pro didn't bother him?" Stella asked.

"He said it was the only way his son was going to college.  Sheldon pointed out there were special programs for people who didn't have the money.  He gave him an offended look and said he'd never take charity."  Everyone moaned and shook their heads at that.

Frank walked in from the kitchen with Ray Junior.  "Told them about the gigolo buying it?"

"Yup."  He grinned.  "Hey, Ray."

"Hi, Ryan."  He handed out food.  "Don and Xander?"

"Out of gay sex stuff," Danny told him.  "They'll be home soon."   That got a giggle and their food being put aside.  Danny paid him back and got a nod of thanks for it.  Then they settled in to eat.  "So, Frank, what's going on?"

"Warehouses?" he said dryly.

"Um, yeah, a higher level GHS died and gave him stuff," Danny told him.  "Said that way he'd learn to appreciate some of the finer things in life."

"That explains why it looked like a museum," he said dryly.  "The gun locker is still sealed up.  No new entries since Xander took you in, Horatio.  The other one he owns...."

"He owns somewhere else?" Danny asked.  Frank handed over the file he had carried in.  "Huh.  He did take suggestions.  He bought into a spa."  He flipped the page, nodding slowly.  "That's a good idea too."  Speed looked over his arm then snickered.  "Helpful."

"Very.  Ray, there's a GHS college scholarship now."  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "The  Adam M. Smith award for talented and gifted members and their offspring."

"Twenty grand," Danny offered. "That's a good start at most state schools."

"I've got a good college fund," Ray assured them.  "Mom made sure of it."  He ate a bite of dinner.  "The spa's run down.  They're renovating.  I know he's renting rooms on the cruise ship right now.  Only two or three.  The priestess living there is running that for him while she's going to school.   I also know that he's got a few stores where he owns the shop but they're renting it from him.  Places he likes that were up for sale."  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "What?   You guys nagged about his future income."  He ate another bite.  "Oh, and a second warehouse but it's not secure yet.  He was planning that for next year to move the weapons to.  He didn't like his babies being that open.  That's why he was doing the magical hiding."

Horatio took the file to look at then went to get the others out of the office.  He and Danny both knew how Xander filed when they weren't supposed to find things. The hidden areas got checked first, and of course Danny found it in one of them.  They brought it back out for group looking over.  Don and Xander came back giggling with a few bags.  "I want to visit that spa, Xander."

"Who got into my stuff this time?" he demanded, scowling at them.

"We went looking for more warehouses," Frank said dryly, giving him a look.  "They should spank you."

"No, they shouldn't."

"It's in your new identity?" Frank asked.

"No, it's in my second one so I'm not linked."  He smirked before grabbing the file and putting it back in the office.  "Steve suggested it since you guys nag so often."  He went into the bedroom to pounce Don.  Don got him calmed down and snuggly after having him.  It was much better than having to think about that stuff.

Danny shook his head.  "We should ask Steve."

"Probably," Ray agreed.

"Or you," Speed said dryly.  "Since you're his assistant."

Ray smirked at him.  "But I'm being bribed to not talk about it."

"Uh-huh.  With?" Speed asked.

Ray snickered.  "If I tell you it's not blackmail, huh?"

"Caught you with your panties down?" Frank suggested.

"No.  I only have the one girlfriend, Frank."  He grinned.  "She's all I need.  After all, I'm only a level four."  Frank shook his head at that.  Horatio patted his hair.  "Nothing too bad, Uncle H."

"What is it, Ray?" he asked calmly.  "We do not want you to follow in certain bad footsteps."

"He taught me to play poker."

"You're going for him?" Speed asked.  Ray beamed and nodded.  They all groaned.

"Still with thugs?" Danny asked.

"Sometimes.  Last week he had to go instead of me because someone wasn't paying me."

"You get what sort of percentage?" Danny asked dryly.

"Thirty percent of what I win.  Which is why my college fund rocks at the moment."  That got a nod.  "Plus I go around with Xander when he's bored."

They all shook their heads.

Don strolled out like he was The Man.  "He's napping."  He took his food and sat down at Danny's feet, getting comfortable so he could eat.  "Been thinking.  Xander's still writing.  Do we realize this?"  They all whimpered.  "I'm going to push him to write porn for real instead of just the convention friends."

"As long as no one comes looking for the author," Horatio warned.

"Nah, shouldn't," Don assured him.  "Hasn't happened yet."  He ate a bite and chewed slowly.  "I checked the place he posts it online.  He's gotten some good reviews.  He's got tons of stuff up there we haven't seen yet."  Danny moaned.   "One's really long too.  Got some great reviews.  I'm thinkin' that should be his first one to send in.  We got a few books so he could see publishers while we were in the shop.  He liked that idea."  That got some nods.  "It'll give him a good outlet for some of his urges."

"Plus something to do now and then," Ray agreed.

"True," Don agreed, grinning at him.  "You did look good in the Armani the other week, Ray."

"Thanks, Don.  Xander, the same as your new one was."

"Saw that," he said with a grin.  Danny gave him a look.  "You have a new one too."

"I noticed my closet was so tight I couldn't put up the laundry last time.  We should look."

"We should," Don agreed.  "It's all nice stuff."  He looked at Ray again.  "How big's your closet?"

"I protest that kids my age don't wear suits and things very often.  So Uncle H gets a few and Uncle Speed got a few for nice dinners out and court."

Speed gave him an odd look.  "I did?"  Ray nodded.  "When?"

"They came back from the tailor yesterday; I hung them up."

Speed shook his head.  "I needed new suits?"

"No, he said you needed to get off your ass and take Uncle H out on more dates so you two could be cute again because you were both too stressed.  That's why he got you something nice to wear."  He grinned a bit.  "He got Uncle H a new suit for the date he's prompting too."

"Any other plans for the date?" Frank asked.

"Don't know.  Have to ask him.  Xander?"  Xander wobbled out and snuggled into Don's side, taking a bite of his dinner.  Frank handed him his box, getting a grunt back.  "Did you plan their date?"

Xander blinked at Speed.  "Don't make me sponsor another regional convention for you two."  Horatio snickered at that.  "Really.  Though you can go visit the spa I leant money to in New York if you wanted to.  Horatio liked it last time."

"We'll see," Speed told him.

"Convention's in New York this year," Danny reminded them.

"I'm so sorry for my former city," Stella said, finishing her dinner.  She relaxed.  "Nice choices, guys."  They grinned at her.  "Who's going to the convention this time?"

"I am," Xander said, grinning over Don's shoulder at her.  "I'm going to the new spa and everything."

"What new spa?" Mac asked.

"It's one he leant some start-up costs to," Horatio said, scraping the bottom of his box to eat the last bite then he tossed the box into the trash.  "They do a lot of sensory deprivation so you have to focus on the enjoyment of what's going on.  I wasn't too sure about it at first but it was a good treat."  Xander beamed at him.  "I still have the passes I need to use."  Xander went back to snuggling.

"Like blacklights and neon tubes so they can work?" Frank asked.

"They have a room that does that," Xander agreed.  "The one I got for Horatio had him in padded cuffs and a blindfold, plus any music he wanted between treats."

"It was very soothing after I got used to it," Horatio agreed.  "It made me focus on my body.  They were very good about checking the padded cuffs.  I had enough room that I could get out of one side if I needed to.  They talked to me, were telling me things about themselves to make me feel at ease.  They do a few agents, officers, and kidnaped GHS now and then so they knew I'd be wary and made sure I was always comfortable.  That body scrub was excellent, Xander."  The boy grinned.  "Are you going?"

"Yup.  I'll be going this year.  If my boys can't go I'll make sure I'll be staying inside the hotel or with groups of others.  Greggy's going even if Tony can't."

"That's fine," Danny agreed.  "We don't mind you and Greg."  He stroked over his hair.  "You're sweaty?  Don was good."

Xander nodded.  "Very good."

"Thanks, guys," Don said happily.  He finished his dinner and made Xander eat his.  Even if he did  have to feed him now and then.  "Need spoiled?"  Xander nodded.  "We can do that this weekend if you want."  Xander beamed before digging in.  Adam and Ray stomped in.  "Morning."

"Not really," Ray said dryly.  He swatted Xander on the head.  "Feds wrote to us."

"Not my fault a terrorist wanted Tony," he defended.  He even pouted.

"No, it wasn't," Adam sighed, sitting down in the free chair.  "The FBI has decided to go with their plan to have one or two agents trained in each field office where we tend to congregate.  That way they're trained in how to deal with GHS emergency situations.  Like that one almost starting an orgy at a coffee house because he was so backed up he was leaking even when he was unhappy or Anthony's newest admirer from the terrorist community.  They have asked the society for help.  I referred the request to the board.  They weren't unhappy and suggested not every office needed one, just certain offices.  If the GHS in those other areas needed help they could call in support.  Since it has gotten through their system wonderfully."

"Greg said the General who was testing the cyborgs wants to make sure none of us ever join the service again," Xander told him.  "Especially since that one chased him around a research base with a sex toy ordering him to drop his pants so she could take care of his surge."  He ate another bite.  "I'm surprised they didn't have one before.  Since maybe the sixties or seventies."

"They've had a few agents who knew and dealt with it but with DiNozzo being in DC and New York having a new level nine that just got broken in two days ago, then went on a surge to beat yours," Ray said, "it got spread around.  Plus the cyborg thing."  That got a nod.

"They could give you guys your own country and it'd become the shopping mecca of the world, but you could protect yourselves," Ryan teased.  "Everyone checked when they come in to make sure they're not going to steal a resident.  All planes going out checked."

"I told the dweeb that tried to arrest me if he didn't leave me alone I was going to make the island my own country and store all the weapons I needed down there," Xander said dryly.  "We'd need more room for all of the members of GHS though."

"That would be one hedonistic vacation spot," Don said thoughtfully.  "It'd be the spa, food, and shopping capitol of the universe."

Xander nodded.  "But we'd need somewhere the size of at least Nevada to give us all the room we needed to roam and the varied environments of California so those of us who wanted snow could ski safely and things.  They could give us California if they wanted to."  He grinned at Adam, who had groaned.  "What?"

"Bad thought, Xander."

"Sorry.  I tried."

"I know you tried.  Try harder to be a good boy," Horatio ordered.  Xander just grinned at him too.  "We'd be a very liberal, tolerant country," he said, making Speed groan.  "Gay marriages welcome, trios welcome.  Anything but kidnaping and rape basically, and legalized drugs within certain limits.  You couldn't go over so many a week."

Adam looked at him.  "There's a few members who would hate that."

"Yes but plenty of members smoke pot now and then for their own weakening.  Nothing hard, like cocaine, but I can see minor amounts of pot with a firm limit every week.  A nice pharmacy tracking system?"

"That could help," Adam agreed.  "If we ever get  our own planet, we'll know how to set it up."

"Like Ares said, he already has people for when they show up," Discord called.

"Good to know," Xander said, looking up.  "They're not coming for me, right?"

"No, Xander."

"Thank you, Discord.  Want some stuff off the orchard?"

"No thanks.  Some of that black fruit wine though."  She appeared and he went to get her a bottle, kissing her on the cheek before handing it over. "Thanks."  She disappeared.

Xander sat back down.  "It's good that they're not coming for me."

"Very," Don said dryly, giving him a look.

"Or mine," Ray agreed, looking at his boyfriend Adam.

"I do try to keep myself out of harm's way," he said dryly.

"Yes you do try," Ryan agreed.  "Thanks for letting me handle that brat the other day.  Needed the exercise."  Xander looked over at him.  "We were out getting breakfast at the same place.  She pinged me and  not him.  She got huffy when I wouldn't take her head in the middle of a crowded coffee shop.  Pulled a sword and everything.  I walked off laughing at her.  She threw a holy fit in the parking lot.  Spoiled princess of an immie."

"Daddy had too much money?" Don asked.


"Ah."  He stroked over Xander's hair, getting it tipped for him.  "Did you braid it?"

"While asleep."

"I can tell."  He got handed the brush by Ray Junior, giving a grin for it.  "Thanks."  He got it undone and brushed through it.  "It's growing.  We should ask Horatio to trim the ends again."

Horatio leaned over to pick up a strand to look at.  "It's not split.  If he doesn't mind it's fine to stay for now."  He let it go and leaned back again.

His nephew gave him an odd look.  "You play with Xander's hair too?"

"I'm the only one he trusts to cut it."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "I'm not growing my hair out that far."

"Me either.  I had princess hair and I looked dumb."  Speed swatted him.  "I did."

"You did," Speed agreed.  "I thought you wanted to forget having princess hair that feathered back just right."

"I do.  Simply telling the nephew it was possible."  He looked at Ray.  "No going past your shoulders until you're out of the house, Raymond."

"Yes, Uncle H.  Mom would freak."

"I know this neat hair growing spell," Xander offered.  "We could grow it out like mine, take a picture for your parents, then have it trimmed better again."  He grinned sweetly.  "Then she'd quit ignoring you."

"She is?" Horatio asked.

"Hasn't written back from my last email yet,"  Ray admitted.  "The neighbor said he's seen her and she's fine but she hasn't written in three weeks."

"Ah.  I'll have to nag her," Horatio said.  "She hasn't written me in nearly a month I think."  He smiled at Ray.  "You're better off up here anyway, Ray."

"I know."  He looked at Xander again.  "What were you working on that you wouldn't let me see?"

"Their date if they didn't smarten up and go out for some couple time."

"Can I see the plans?" Speed asked.

"No, then they couldn't be your birthday present."  He grinned sweetly.  "Then I'll have to go shopping to find you something else."

Speed shuddered.  "No going out alone, Xander."

"I'm fairly safe in Miami.  Horatio threatened all my poker buddies to make sure they weren't going to hurt me.  Ray's generally liked by all the poker buddies too.  They think they can corrupt him into being a normal guy instead of like me.  That's why I sent him to them."  Horatio gave him a look.  "Or uptight, like they think you are."

"I do not like that plan, Xander," Horatio said.

"But I get to watch over his shoulder so he knows which moves to make.  It lets me have some fun."

"You don't need that sort of fun," Frank reminded him.  "Last time nearly got you killed by the General."

"He's dead now and the Mala Noches still think I'm an okay guy.  They like Ray too.  Don't like Horatio at all but they do like Ray.  They think he's honorable and could understand them."

"I can most of the time," Ray agreed.  "Plus Jorge's a pretty good card shark.  He was teaching me how to deal funny the other night."  Horatio gave him a look.  "What?"

"He's on bail?"

"No, they decided he wasn't that violent so they let him out on early release."

"One year served out of ten for killing a drug dealer," Speed said.  "I love our system."

Ray Kowalski looked over.  "It was protested.  We did go protest on your behalf.  The judge hates you two and said he wasn't really violent, it had been a contract.  Better to give it to someone who'd do it again for bad reasons, like a serial person."  Horatio shook his head.  "The head guy's already trying to get her off the bench."

"Good," Ray agreed.  "Though, Jorge said hi, Xander."

"That's fine.  How is he?"

"Doing good.  His woman's still pure for him.  He thinks she's having a son soon to prove what a man he is.  The other Noches are looking at him like he's a young God."  He shrugged.  "He said it's all good, come play with him sometime soon.  That way he can win back the two grand he still owes you."

"We'll see if I can do that."

"NO!" everyone but Ray and Xander shouted.

"Xander, we're going to run another scan on that tumor," Horatio said blandly.  "Would you mind?"

"It hasn't grown.  I don't have headaches from it yet."

"We'd rather get it when it's small," Danny said.  "Less backed up stuff coming out at removal."  Xander shrugged.  "Good.  We'll ask Alexx ta do it in the morning."  He kissed him on the head.  "Need to wash that mess tonight."

"I know.  I will."  He got up to stretch.  "Let me shower off the sweaty stuff Don caused.  I'll be right back."  He went to do that.  It took him a good half an hour to do his hair alone but the rest went faster.  He came out to find Frank, Ryan, Eric, Ray, Adam, and Stella had went home.  "Are we all staying tonight?"

"Yup," Mac agreed.  "Horatio and Speed can head home with their nephew.  They have a good alarm system."

"I have a good alarm system," Xander complained.  "I never remember the code for it but I have one."  He grinned.  "We've got to find a code I can remember."

"Codes that aren't related to anything are safer," Don reminded him.

"But if it's not related I don't remember it."

"We'll figure something out," Danny promised.  He pulled him down, taking the brush to do his hair for him.  "No detangler?"

"No, we're out."

"We'll get you some tomorrow," Don said.  He looked back at him.  "You know, I checked your online stuff."  Xander blushed.  "It's good.  Real good, Xander.  Have you thought about submitting something longer to the porn stores?"

"You wanted me to at the store."

"Sounds like someone forgot and needs a bit worn out," Horatio said, standing up.  "Come on, boys.  Let's head home to play with our own pets."  The dog being petted by Speed gave him a pitiful look.  "You can have him back this weekend.  Get the master to pet you, Spots."  He  moved over and Don petted him instead.  "Night, boys."  They left together, Frank had brought Ray instead of having him drive himself over.

"Not a bad idea," Don teased.

"I'll be up in Ryan's room, boys," Mac said, heading up there.

"Ooh, pouncy party," Xander said, pouncing Don.  Don laughed, getting him back for the pounce.  They rolled around for a while then Danny hauled Xander off, walking him into the bedroom.  "But I got to pounce Don.  Horatio said so."

"You can pounce him once you're laid out prettily for us on the bed."  He gave him a nudge.  "Go make him wanna pounce you."  Xander gave him a wicked looking smirk and closed the door, going to arrange himself pleasingly on the bed.  Don came strolling in with a glass of water.  "Think you'll need it?"

"Do you remember the last time Xander played harem boy for us?" he countered.

"Not really.  I think I died about six times that night from my heart."  They listened, smiling at the noises going on.  Xander was going all out for them tonight.  "What're you working tomorrow?"

"Nine ta seven.  You?"

"Mid-shift."  They both smirked. That meant they could sleep in if they needed to.

"Okay," Xander called.  "You can come in now."

Danny opened the door, letting Don in first.  He had to catch the water when Don nearly dropped it.  The bed was done up with the white silk sheets.  Xander was in a white robe and nothing else.  His hair was partially braided but the last third was undone to fan out under him as a counterpoint to all the white.  Don swallowed, coming over to open their boy's robe.  He found his favorite jade cockring, the one that Xander could not get through, because some of them he could sometimes come anyway if he was desperate enough.  This one they had to remove for him.  Don stripped down and pounced.  It was a good pounce.  Danny pulled their watching chair over, sipping the water while he watched them wear each other out.  He'd get his turn soon enough.


Don walked in the next morning and collapsed at  his desk, head down, dying there.

Frank came over to check his pulse, shaking his head at Ray's curious look.  "Must've been a good night."  Don gasped as he came back, blinking at him.  "Good night?" he teased.

"Xander playing virginal bride," he moaned, putting his head back down.  "I'm gonna die now."

"You just did," Frank told him.  Don held up all five fingers of his right hand.  "Really?"  Don nodded.  "Does that count just now?"  Don shook his head slowly, going back to sleep, that hand thumping down to the desk again.  Frank snickered.  "Ray, do you get that?"

"Nope, my guy's not that high on the scale.  Though I am gonna get that plan from Xander."  He watched Danny wander and wobble past their row, heading for the break room.  "We should probably watch out for him."

"Nah, let Horatio do it."  He texted a message to Horatio.

Eric came down to find Danny sleeping against his locker.  He tapped him on the shoulder, only getting a grunt.  "Danny, work time," he called loudly.


"No, come on, time to wake up."

Danny blinked at him.  "Save me?"

"What did he do this time?" he asked dryly.

"White silk sheets.  White silk robe.  Cock ring.  Gods, I swear I died a few times when it was my turn with the pure thing."  He put his forehead back against the locker and fell back asleep right there.

Eric called Horatio.  "H, it's me.  Danny's out.  Not that way yet."  Oh, joy.  Don had died at his desk but no one noticed.  "He said white silk, a cock ring, and virginal playing Xander.  Yeah.  You guys left when last night?"  He nodded at the 'ten' answer.  It was nearly nine now.  "So in eleven hours...."  Horatio moaned, hanging up on him.  Eric patted Danny on the back, taking his spare lab coat to cover him for now.  One of the officers walked in and gave him an odd look.  "Too much Xander."

"Should I call ME Woods?"

"Nah, let him nap.  He needs a nap.  I'm not sure how they got to work this morning."  He walked off shaking his head, calling Xander.  "You can't keep Danny and Don from working, Xander."  He listened to him pout.  "They're both asleep.  Don's on his desk and Danny's against his locker.  Yes, you.  So quit.  Save that for days off and conventions."  He hung up, shaking his head as Speed walked in.  "Don passed on his desk?"

"Yup.  Frank watched him do it twice now.  Apparently virginal playing Xander was a good one.  Our necklaces are both warm at the moment from her."  He went to check on Danny, slamming his locker so he'd wake up.  "You better now?"

Danny let out a hysterical sounding laugh.  "No!  He ...."

Speed made him look at him.  "Is your brain rotten?"  Danny slowly shook his head.  "Did you switch bodies?  You sound like Ray Junior after his first time."  Danny swatted at him.  "Good!  Then get your ass up and let's go back to work, Messer."

"Yes, Speed."  He got up, handing Eric back his jacket when he saw the name on it.  He grabbed his own coat and went to process evidence.  Not like he could stand long enough to be in the field at the moment.

Speed went to have a talk with Xander.  He couldn't keep them from working by killing them with sex.  It wasn't allowed.  No matter what.  He couldn't do it to Horatio, Xander couldn't do it to his boys.  He found him tied to the bed with stretchy cords, giving him a look.  "Don or Danny?"

"Danny.  Said he'd pay me back tonight."

"He passed out at his locker, Xander."

"Not my fault!  I gave up and finally came at two!"

"Uh-huh."  He got him untied, letting him run to the bathroom, then tied him back down again.  "Behave.  They'll get home around seven."

"Yes, Speed."

"Good boy."  He smirked.  "What did you do so I can do it for Horatio?"

Xander pointed at the bed, then the robe, then lifted the cock ring with his toe.  "That."

"Ah, you played new bride Xander."  He nodded, heading out to make some of his own plans.  Horatio needed something stunning to make him not able to walk tomorrow....    Xander was a very good giver of ideas.

The End.

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