Xander looked at the weapons shop Horatio wanted him to use, then frowned. "I have all these," he admitted.
"You're a gun collector?" the salesman asked respectfully.
He smiled. "In my own defense. People want to take me so I have to have some. Unfortunately my boys hated my former artillery problem so I'm stuck rebuying stuff that got confiscated and handed over." He pointed at the one he didn't have. "Is that one any good? I prefer this one," he said, tapping over the case. "It fits better in my hand and it's weighted right for my wrists."
He let him hold that one, seeing the grimace. "It's for concealed carry."
Xander looked then tapped over one. "I use those for concealed carry." He handed it back. "Thanks for trying." He walked out, heading to his poker circle. He walked into Fu's and waved, heading for the back room. He sat down at the table and pouted, tossing in money. "I can't find what I want to up my artillery again. Horatio was mean, they destroyed it while I was taken the last time."
"You had artillery?" Sonny asked, snorting some.
"They had to make a special dispo run for all his," one of the other guys said. "He had a fuckin' warehouse full of weapons, Sonny."
Xander nodded. "So no one would take my ass or I'd destroy them."
"You get to hide anything?" one of the other guys asked.
"No," he pouted. "But someone nice did offer me a warhead earlier." He shrugged. "I'll find stuff. Horatio wanted me to look at the gunshop on eighth but they only had handguns."
"A warhead?" Sonny demanded. "Like for a rocket?"
Xander nodded. "Yeah. Pretty cheap too. Only wanted to see why people wanted me. So I danced for about ten minutes. Got it and another case of AK's." He shrugged. Everyone gaped at him. "It's the better assault rifle. Has a good range, more useful in multiple situations, and even if you have to put it on automatic to take out everything in sight it's got a good clip." He took his chips and his cards. "Has Ray been playing nicely with you guys?"
"Your assistant's very nice," Sonny said dryly. "Who is he?"
"Caine's nephew," one of them muttered.
"Ah, no wonder we don't talk around him."
Xander grinned. "Someone has to keep me out of trouble and go around with me when I'm bored."
The dealer looked at him. "This time, let's not hormone rich people shopping street, Xander?"
"I didn't the last time I went. That was, like, four ago. And Ray wasn't there then." They all groaned. "See, I'm trying to be good. Even if I did make Don and Danny pass out at work the other day." He looked at his cards, then at the dealer. "Do we owe you money?"
"No, I wanted some of what I lost back." The others laughed. Xander shrugged and bowed out that round. The next one the luck was back with him. "So, Xander, why do guys want to keep you? Beyond the hair and the hormones?"
Xander grinned. "One of my trips out of Miami I learned a self defense style that includes sword work, dancing, and pure lust. It's very me." He put down a card, getting one back. He hummed and put down a chip. He grinned at him. "I've caused spontaneous orgies with it," he said proudly. Everyone gaped. "At the last Vegas convention for GHS. It was at the intro ceremony."
One guy nodded. "I've heard about that." The other guys gaped at him.
Xander cackled. "I've even done DVD's to help other members learn. Because we could all use some self defense."
Sonny shuddered. "Sorry, some of us are still straight."
"Yeah, I hear that a lot from the people trying to take me," he sighed. The other guys laughed.
"Prove it," Sonny said.
Xander looked around then shrugged and went to get into his closet in the storage area. He had one of them in his running away pack. He waved the DVD for Fu's benefit, getting a grimace. "Someone wanted to see." He brought it back in and tossed it over. "I want that back. Don't copy it either." He sat down, going back to his cards.
Sonny got up and put it into the room's DVD player, staring at the tv, watching him ...move. "Damn you're flexible," he said after a few minutes.
"Yup. My boys appreciate it," Xander said happily.
Sonny turned it off a few minutes later. "I can see why some like it."
Xander gave him an odd look. "You're the first one who hasn't responded with drool. Even guys who don't have one have drooled." Sonny snickered. "We need to find out why so we can pass that around. Mind if I take some blood for the chemist that works with the society?"
"We'll see." Xander won that hand and most of the guys had to excuse themselves for a bathroom break. He gave their backs a confused look. "Like that?" he asked dryly.
"Everyone but you."
"Huh. That is a skill." He smirked. "It's the New Yorker in me."
"No, I nearly sent a coffee shop up there into a frenzy by having coffee while spiked. You don't react to it for the most part. Except that first time. Any idea?"
"Not a clue," he admitted. He stood up when someone stomped in, hand going for his gun. "Get away from him! He's taken, you sick fuck!"
"FBI, junior, back down," he snarled, pulling Xander out by his hair. Xander kindly kicked his ass for him. He groaned. "You shouldn't be here."
"You do *not* grab me by the hair," Xander snarled. "I'm not the weak, helpless sort, even if the hair does make you think so." He kicked him again. "Guys, help me get him to the car please?" They nodded, helping him get the guy to the car. He smiled at the dealer. "I'll be back in a few. Hold my chips for me." He walked around to drive them off, taking him back to the station. Where he got out and calmly closed his door, walking around to get the groaning agent out of his car. He grabbed him by the balls and squeezed, making him scream. "Let's go," he snarled. He walked him inside that way, waving at the receptionist. "We'll be upstairs. Horatio in?"
"No, sir, but Don is," she called after him.
"Thanks." He gave him a shove into the elevator and followed, stabbing the correct button. The guy tried to resist but he grabbed him again and drug him off the elevator crying. He handed him to Don, shoving him really. "Grabbed my ass by the hair without explanation. Tried to walk my ass off. Then told me I shouldn't be out of the house." He glared at him. "Learn manners," he said slowly and clearly, making him cry. He looked at Don again. "Interesting note. Sonny and the guys watched a few minutes of one of the training DVD's and he didn't react."
"We've seen castrated guys react," Don said dryly.
"Yeah, so interesting note." He shrugged. "I'm pouting at the poker buddies about my missing weapons. Have fun with him." He stopped at the hand sanitizer dispenser and used it then went back to his poker game. He walked into the restaurant, taking a new soda. "Thanks, Fu." He walked in. "Sorry about him. He was rude. Don can have him next." He grinned sweetly. They all shuddered.
"So, weapons," Sonny said. "Your boys gonna bust 'em?"
"Horatio said not while I'm buying and not for what I'm buying. I'm going to try to keep them away from it. Even though he wants oversight of my stash. He's even helping me set up the new warehouse so it's better protected. Who was that guy anyway?"
"One of the Crypts," one of the guys said. He shrugged a bit. "He thought he had hit a Christmas stash."
"Oooh, I forgot about the holidays. I've got to figure out presents." Xander shook his head quickly. "I'll do that later. Anyway, Horatio found him trying to get in the day Mac told him. Pity."
"His people were amused that gay men had an arsenal in Miami," the dealer said smugly.
Xander gave him a serious look. "It's for when the aliens come to kidnap me like the others have tried. You can tell Gorer I said that." He gaped. Sonny cackled at that. "Of course if more minor apocalypses should happen I'd let the proper people have one or two things to handle it. Like if we're invaded or something by a lesser country." Sonny fell onto the floor he was laughing so hard. "I know, it's probably not going to happen but we have to be prepared just in case. Like Homeland Security says, everyone should have a plan."
"I'll pass that note back," the dealer said, writing it down. And the reaction too. He put it into his pocket. "What're you looking for, Xander?"
"Bangs. Pretty bangs. Sunnydale style bangs." He grinned. "I had rockets and launchers and grenades and 'splosives and all sorts of toys there before. I want them back. I'm willing to update since I still had the old style bazooka in there. About ten of them if I remember right. Single user, not vehicle mounted, makes a pretty mess and fireworks."
"I'll let some people know you're looking," he promised, smiling at Sonny. "You in or not, Sassone?"
"Yeah, I'm in," he said, climbing back up. "You gonna keep that warhead?"
"The scientist for the society is now with NCIS with his new pookie. I'll give it to him. That way I don't have to beat another Fed."
Sonny nodded. "Probably reasonable. Your boys could."
"Ah, but that would get me out of Miami for a while and let me do Christmas shopping in DC on my way to the convention in a few weeks." He smirked evilly. "It's in New York this year."
"I'll warn my remaining boys to lay low. Manhattan?" Xander nodded. "Where?"
"I don't remember off the top of my head. By the museum with the Egyptian stuff. I remember that much. Not near Don's old precinct."
"I'll pass along a warning to stay away from you guys."
"We stun pickpockets," Xander said happily. "Spike and let them walk behind us to carry things. I did in Vegas and the cops were very appreciative when others did too. And hey, no carrying."
"Was Messer amused too?" he asked dryly.
"Very. He said it was my evil streak of the day since I couldn't play baccarat at the time." The others laughed. "Anyway." He looked at his hand then at the dealer. "Did you flush these first?"
"Yup, just for you," he said happily. "You remember to wash your hands after playing with the dirty pet?"
"Hand sanitzer dispensers at the station to hold down the flu." They all nodded at that. "He's dirty? He's not one of the ones I know about." A few of the guys nodded. "Hmm. To tell Don or not to tell Don....."
"His masters are pissed with him anyway," one guy said. "I called in a report to a mutual contact. They're really not happy."
"Not happy enough to give Horatio a job in the morning?" He nodded. "Then I probably should, huh? I hate ethics."
"Go ahead, we won't care," Sonny said. "He was too well known anyway." He snatched his phone and hit the number for Messer. "Yo, that Fed he brought in was dirty to about six different sorts. All of whom aren't happy now." He hung up and tossed it back. "There, now no one can blame you."
Xander grinned. "I'm sure you just raised his blood pressure so I'll get pounced later too. Thank you!" Sonny waved a hand, putting down his winning one. Xander upped his luck switch and got into the next hand. It was much nicer when he was winning. Sonny never minded if he cleaned out his pockets for gas money.
Danny hung up his phone then went to find someone higher up. "For some reason," he said loudly. "Sonny Sassone just used Xander's phone to tell me that the Fed Xander brought in is dirty to about six people who aren't happy." Frank went running to catch the guy. They had just released him to his boss.
"Hmm. Poker?" Don asked.
"Yeah, sounded like Fu's."
"He said he was pouting at the poker buddies about his weapons and the guy tried to walk him off by his hair." Don stood up when the guy got brought back, his boss huffing behind him. "It's amusing when a thug calls in from the poker game to turn your ass in as a dirty fed."
"Xander probably wobbled, thinking we'd be having a new scene tomorrow." Danny looked at him. "You wanna spill or should I go down there and ask?"
"How would this thug know?" the local head agent sneered.
"He'd know. He's a New York thug."
"How did he get your number?" the head agent asked.
"Used my boyfriend's phone. Xander plays poker with 'im and a few others when he's bored or wants easy gas money." The agent gaped. Danny shrugged. "He does."
"We've got to remember to get Alexx to scan for that brain tumor again," Frank complained.
"She said she'd do it Sunday for us," Don said happily. He looked at the Fed. "The allegation is enough to get your internal affairs department down on your ass. If they're that unhappy someone told Xander, you're gonna be a pretty scene some morning soon. You wanna squeal and maybe get some protection or not?"
"I don't need your kind to help me."
"Fine, sure. You do it then," he said smugly. He waved at Stetler since he was stomping their way. "One of the thugs Xander plays poker with just called in to say this Fed is dirty to about six people."
"How does your boy find those games?" he demanded.
"He was playing lower stakes but they got tired of losing," Danny said happily. "Manny Two Shoes introduced 'em."
Stetler shuddered. "No wonder. To whom is he dirty?"
"Don't know," Danny said. He called Xander back. "Stetler wants to know who he's dirty to." He nodded, making a note and handing it over. Then he wrote something else down. "Sure, I can do that." He hung up, weathering the horrified look. "Xander said he's not fully sure. He's not one of the ones he knows about." Don gaped at him and so did Frank. Stetler gave him a horrified look. "People tell Xander stuff, guys. We all know that."
"Hell, maybe they bragged at a poker game," Frank said dryly. "Who are we asking?"
"He said to ask Bookworm, his friend Jesse that does the electronics stuff." He sent him an email from Don's computer, getting back a message fairly quickly. "Oooh. You take money from Xander's poker buddy, the Canadian. And a few others." He printed it out, handing it to Stetler. "Here ya go. Happy Christmas."
Stetler looked at the note he had been handed. "How would he know?"
"How does Xander know anything, Stetler?" Don asked dryly. Stetler sneered but drug the Fed off to book him and interrogate him. "What was the note?" he asked once the other Fed had stomped off after a glare.
"Stetler's former girlfriend is out of jail and looking for him."
"Ah." He nodded. "Interesting. Ooh, he said something. Sassone's not affected by one of the training DVD's." Danny gave him a horrified look. "He doesn't know why. I remember he said it worked on him once."
"We need ta find out why," Danny said, walking off shaking his head. "Maybe a stealth stealing of blood," he muttered. Speed stopped him. "Sassone's wasn't affected by a training DVD Xander had in his emergency kit at Fu's."
Speed blinked a few times. "How?"
"I don't know. Xander probably doesn't either."
"Huh," he said, thinking about that. "We need blood." He went to talk to Horatio about raiding his house so they could get blood. They decided to text Xander first. Xander sent back that he'd ask again.
Sonny walked up to the front desk of the lab, handing over two vials. "Lieutenant Caine wanted those before he has to break inta my house to get 'em from me. Make sure he gets 'em?" She nodded slowly. "Thanks." He strolled off. "Tell him it canceled me owing six grand and so he won't have to black ops me tonight." He waved as he walked out the doors.
She was still staring when Eric walked in. "Delko?" He came back. She handed it over. "The guy you passed on the way out said Lieutenant Caine needed these and it canceled out him owing six grand. Plus they wouldn't have to black ops him to get some later?"
He took them carefully. There wasn't anything on the outsides. "Sure. I'll let Horatio know. Who was it?"
"Some guy with a strong New York accent."
He looked at the vial, noticing the small, typed S. Sassone on the side of one. "Never mind. We'll probably know why. Thanks." He walked back to the lab, going up to the office to hand them over. "You were going to black ops someone's house so he handed them over and he said it canceled him owing six grand. Why?"
"Because Mr. Sassone didn't react at all to one of the training DVD's Xander had in his bag at Fu's earlier," he said, looking at them. "He walked in and handed them over?"
"To the receptionist."
"Hmm." He nodded. "Thank you, Eric."
"Sure. Let us know, H. I want to know how he resists." He walked off, going to analyze the new samples he had taken from his last crime scene.
Horatio went to bundle one up, sending it to DC and Greg with a note. The other he went to run every imaginable test on, starting with a drug screen. If this got out, the people who kidnaped them could give it to their guards and they'd have a harder time getting themselves free.
Two days later Greg got the blood, he had been out of town on a case. He looked at the note then frowned. "Someone found some way to be immune to us," he said.
"I want that blood," Gibbs ordered. He handed it over. "We'll be testing it. Who does it belong to?" He looked at the name on the vial. "Sassone?"
"One of the thugs Xander plays poker with," he said quietly. "We need to know too, Gibbs."
"I'm thinking if that's true, some of the kidnapers could give whatever to their guards so we'd have a harder time getting free," Tony said. Gibbs looked at him. "They've tried everything else."
"I'll have it done under a hush order," he promised. "Plus give Greg the raw data." He got a nod. "Thanks." He called someone. "It's Gibbs. Someone has an immunity. Yeah to that. Sanders wants the raw data and conclusions. For the rest of them's protection in case it gets out, sir. Exactly. Can we?" He nodded. "I've got the single vial of blood here."
"Horatio sent it, ask him what he did first," Greg said.
"He said Caine sent it to him. We can see what he did so far so we don't have to duplicate." He nodded and hung up. "Come on, you can help them run it." Greg waved at Tony, heading off with him. "Is he normally cooperative?"
"Danny's mortal enemy? No. He probably owed Xander money again."
Gibbs shook his head. "We really hate him playing poker."
"He left me an email last night saying he was giving me one of his new presents. That we'd better deal with it instead of him."
"Interesting. Any idea what?"
"Not yet," he admitted. They got into the car and headed off for one of the smaller, quiet research labs they had around DC. When they got there he wrote down a name. "That's who the blood belongs to. He's one of Xander's poker buddies." He looked at Gibbs. "Did you get the email from Danny?" He shook his head. "Xander had to turn over a Feebie who grabbed him by the hair to pull him out of a poker game. Turns out he was dirty, Sonny warned Danny while Xander considered the ethics of it, and we find out Xander knows who some of the other dirty ones down there are. People like Xander so they tell him things."
"We need to debrief the kid again," he sighed.
"Ray too possibly since they're usually together when Ray's not in school."
"Caine's nephew?" he asked. Greg nodded. "He took over your trouble buddy spot?"
"More like I took over his when he was in Rio."
"Oh. He's training him?"
"Ray's lower. A lot lower."
"Good for him. He'll get to be normal."
"Yup. Horatio's happy too. Ray keeps Xander from shopping himself poor." They were let into a lab. "Hi. Greg Sanders," he told the nerdy looking woman meeting them.
"We've heard of you, sir. What's going on?"
"We have the blood of someone who is immune to GHS," Gibbs told her. He held it up. "Caine sent it so he might've run tests on another sample."
"We'll call," she promised.
"I'm one of the main chemists for the society," Greg said.
"Happy to have you help prepare slides and samples, Sanders. Come along. Gibbs, there's a waiting area up the hall. Don't destroy it." She walked Greg off. He gave her the phone number so she could call and get their results faxed up. The military wanted more immunity too and she knew how to keep this quiet.
Xander walked into the poker game a few days later, handing something to Sonny. "We need to handle the guy who sells that," he said, pointing at something. "Before the kidnapers find out and give it to their guards. It'll make it harder when we have to get free," he said quietly.
Sonny looked at him. "Why should I?"
Xander grinned. "Because if you sell it to a kidnaped and one of us stays caught or dies because of it, and someone finds out, they're going to sue you. Besides, the Military was interested in it and that's a much higher paying job."
"There's some of you in the service?" he demanded, standing up.
"Six or seven that I know of," Xander said with a grin. "Mostly consensual now. A few had been forced but they got weeded out recently."
Sonny gaped. "How in the hell?"
"Not a clue, man. They wanted to go. I don't know any of them personally. Can we make a deal?"
He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I can work that out," he decided. "I was testing it anyway."
Xander grinned. "Oh, by the way, they said to watch your salt intake. Your blood pressure's been high it looks like."
"You guys are better than my doc," he said dryly, smirking back.
"Well, yeah. This is our safety we're thinking about, Sonny. I destroy whatever tries to take me."
"Good point. Who found it?"
"Greg and a chem lab in DC correlated it with what Horatio found in a few things. By the way, too much exposure and it weakens your heart."
"Also good to know. I'll talk to Caine if I can get him out of all the glass."
"Sure. Or Gibbs if you're heading to DC. He's at NCIS and he knows. He's got my Greggy on his team."
Sonny just nodded. "Caine want it that way?"
"He just wants it out of his city."
"I can see that. I'll call there." Xander handed over a card, getting a smirk. "DiNozzo?"
"On his team, his second-in-command. Gibbs is a Marine. Tony's a former cop. Much more laid back."
"Sure, I can do that. Thanks, Harris."
"Welcome. I'm off to the convention with a stopover to see Greggy and Tony. You guys have fun without me." He went to get his running away bag of money and headed off. "Later, Fu."
"Have a good convention, Xander." He shook his head, looking at Sonny. "There's those on the black market who would pay dearly for the formula."
"Yeah but if I do that he'll destroy me too." He looked at him. "I'm sure he's very creative."
"You should see some of his porn," one of the guys agreed. "DiNozzo was the one who came to hide with Xander when he got his boss. The one that his Greggy went home with."
"He did seem like a calm guy." He considered it. Certain destruction by Xander. Probably down to burying his bits and pieces. Or he could sell it out this time. He shrugged, going to find his chemist and let him know. He'd have to cap him and take all his research but oh well. Then he could call DiNozzo after he had hidden the body. Caine was good but there were still methods, even down here.
Xander smiled as Greg, Gibbs, and Tony pulled up in their SUV. "Hey, we nearly match," he said happily, bouncing over to hug them. "Hi!" He hugged Tony. "I gave Sassone your card."
"He called last night. We're meeting in a few days. What's this I heard that you know some dirty Feds?"
"I know some rumors about who owns someone and who they own," he offered.
"Can we know?" Greg asked with a grin.
"You heard half of them."
"I must've been watching you then." Xander shrugged but nodded. "Good, we'll get it over dinner. What present did you get?"
"I have four of them and one I took because they weren't going to be using it in *my* city. Horatio didn't know about the last one. Please don't tell him?"
"Should he arrest them?" Gibbs asked patiently.
"Yeah but he's already got most of them. He just doesn't know why."
"We'll tell him why," Gibbs told him.
"Fine." Xander walked them around to the back of his stretch Range Rover, opening the trunk. "The one on the bottom is some sort of warhead. It doesn't have a payload so I'm not sure why. He wanted to know why people wanted to kidnap me. Ten minutes of dancing and I had that as a present and a few cases of AK's and some explosives." Tony whimpered. "The ones on top are another present from the same guy but I had to steal the one in the blue box. I think that one has the chemicals in it to make it go boom but it doesn't have a timer." He grinned at them. "I'm being a good boy."
Gibbs looked at the blue box, blanching. "Xander," he said calmly. "That's the baseline for a nuclear dirty bomb."
"Really?" He looked. "Huh. I would've expected it to be a bit more compact. What's the white container?"
"Where the radioactive material would usually go." He smacked him on the head. "You should've handed that to Caine and told him."
"I thought they were normal bombs!" he defended.
"Fine," Gibbs said, calming himself down. He checked, the others didn't have chemicals or radioactive material. They put those in the back of their hummer then looked at the warhead, making him moan. "This is a prototype." He pulled out his phone. "This is Gibbs. A GHS member just handed over presents from Miami - a prototype warhead and five dirty bombs still in construction phases. Yes, I'm there. He's here. Should. One has radioactive material." He hung up. "Who was it?" he asked, dialing Horatio's number.
"Um... .not Horatio tonight. They're on a date they've had to put off four times, Gibbs. You can call Frank." He took the phone and put in his number instead. "Frank likes to hear about these things and he did help arrest them."
"Fine." He hit send and listened to the grumpy voice. "Tripp, Gibbs. Harris just gave us five dirty bombs in construction and a warhead. All from the same source. He said you have most of them in custody. Who, Xander?"
He took the phone. "The guy who wanted to know why people kidnaped me, Frank. Yeah, him. Ray knows. You have most of his people. I thought they were regular bombs," he complained. "So I arranged for them to be arrested. Yeah, that group that you got given. No, don't bother Horatio! He's finally out on that date. Yeah, finally. So I'll let you have it. But think of the reward and what you can do for the wife, Frank." He grinned. "Sure, they've got to be bored since they couldn't come this time. DC. I did. I drove them up and handed them right to Gibbs. Only one has the stuff in it," he offered. "I thought they were regular bombs and a warhead. No, I didn't know it was a prototype. Thanks, Frank." He hung up and handed back the phone. "He was still at his desk."
"Good." He waved at the guys pulling in. "Easy, gentlemen. Two of those are my team and this is Mr. Harris, who received four of the five and the warhead as presents." They were all scanned and the cars too. The car needed to be sprayed to make sure it wasn't going to be radiating any further. It was about the level of x-rays "Don't we have sensors on the highway?" he asked one agent. He nodded slowly. "Xander, how did you get here?"
"It's on the map machine." Tony went to pull it up, shaking his head. "There's sensors for that stuff?" Gibbs nodded. "Does Miami have them?"
"A few. Not enough apparently. Where were they working?"
"We'll make sure it's better covered, Mr. Harris. You're with the PD down there?"
He grinned. "No but my boyfriends are. I gave them other reasons to arrest them."
"Good to know, sir." He took the notes Tony made. "You passed two sensors and it didn't pick them up. We'll have to check on that. Thank you for handing them over. Why didn't you give them to Lieutenant Caine or someone?"
"I thought they were normal bombs. I did have them arrested because he only gave me four out of the five bombs. I wasn't going to let him use them on my city."
"Thank you, sir. You did a good thing. Your ties to NCIS?"
"Greggy, Tony, and I are buddies." He looked at Gibbs. "Can we pal around at the convention?"
"If I can spare them," he agreed.
"I need to report on what we found anyway," Greg reminded him.
"Fine, you drive up with Xander then, Sanders."
"I wanna go," Tony complained. The agents all stepped away from him. "Yes, Xander's like me, guys." They all nodded at that. "Boss?"
"Fine. Guard them." That got a nod. "And yourself."
"We'll be having a few agents who are in training for the special thought pattern needed at the same hotel, Gibbs. You don't have to worry about it," the lead agent told him.
"Will he be like the dirty one in Miami that tried to grab me by my hair and walk me out of a poker game?" Xander asked.
"Um... We hope not, sir. Dirty Fed?"
Xander nodded. "Yeah. Lots and lots dirty actually. To six different people from what I was told."
"Interesting. Do they know?"
"He was arrested."
"Huh. We need to hear about that too."
"I want a list," Gibbs told him. Xander pouted but took some paper from Tony to write down what he'd heard. "And any other people planning on doing something like this in Miami."
"Do I have to give up the person who's going to be letting me use his poker debt to pay me back with stuff?"
"After that. You can tell Caine about him," he decided. Xander nodded. "Put in any you hear from other cities too, Xander. Since I know your contacts spread to New York and LA."
Xander sighed but did it for him, handing it over. "That's where rumors state. The ones with stars I know are. Oh, this one," he said, pointing. "He was a cop in Sunnydale and dirty to the mayor, but now he's a Fed and still probably dirty. He hates us. Thought we were the real problem in town. Tried to get the Feds to come arrest us for handling problems a few times." He grinned and looked at Greg. "Are we taking mine or yours?"
"We'll take ours. You head up tonight?" Tony suggested. "We've got to do some paperwork."
"I'm staying in town tonight so I can do some Christmas shopping. I was going to leave about noon tomorrow."
"That'll work," Gibbs decided. "I want you wearing GPS tonight, Xander." He handed over the one from the car. "Just in case. Anytime you're in DC, turn that on. Am I clear?"
Xander nodded. "Yes, Gibbs." He put it on, letting Greg help him. "You don't think they'll try tonight, right?" Gibbs gave him a look. "I'm going to be good. Go to the spa, get a massage, watch a movie in a real theater, then tomorrow do some holiday shopping."
"Fine," Gibbs agreed. "Wear it anyway, just in case. As soon as you hit the Virginia border or Maryland coming home, kid."
"Yes, Gibbs." He knew it was for his protection. The same as he knew Horatio had one on both his cars and one inside his wallet. Plus attached to most of his hair clips. He gave him a hug. "I'm downtown at the Ambassador." He looked at the other Feds. "We good?"
"We're fine, sir. Have a good night and thank you for that." He nodded, getting in to drive once the trunk was closed. He waited until he left. "Is he undercover?" he asked the three NCIS agents.
"High level GHS," Tony told him. "Very high level GHS. The warhead came from a guy who wanted to know why people wanted Xander. He danced. Ten minutes later he had the warhead."
"Though, Xander's originally from Sunnydale," Greg said. "Out by LA. So he's used to protecting others from behind the scenes. He honestly didn't know what sort of bombs those were. He's good to plastique and TNT, not harder bombs."
"Yeah, that's the guy who babies Caine's lab," Greg said smugly.
"Oh! I've heard about him!" one said. Tony smirked and nodded. The bad thought hit him suddenly. "That's Harris! The one from the Initiative files!"
"Oh, shit," his boss muttered.
Gibbs laughed. "We feel the same way about them. He's happily living in Miami with both boyfriends and some dogs, ferrets, and a baby dragon." He smirked. "Caine watches him very closely due to his problems."
"Yeah, last time he was on a poker binge he brought down the Miami Mala Noches and a major drug dealer with diplomatic immunity," Tony said dryly. "Not to mention another sixty thugs, assassins, gang members, weapons dealers, drug dealers, and gear makers." They all gaped. "People tell Xander things. If you piss him off, he puts the Sunnydale spin on your life. Caine raided his files on who owed him money." They shuddered. "Exactly." He looked at Greg. "Paperwork?"
"Paperwork," he sighed. Gibbs swatted them both. "Yes, boss," he said. He walked back to the SUV. "I'm driving."
"Fat chance, Sanders," Gibbs ordered. "If I'm in the car, I drive. Unless I'm injured." He pointed back at the SUV. "Harris is the one who bought those two their version of his car."
"I noticed the back of his had limo style seats."
"That's so he can carry everyone. He went practical with ours," Tony said with a wicked smirk. "Including spare guns and armor in the back." They walked off shaking their heads, taking the things to be destroyed. "Hey, boss, who's going to be responsible for finding out who leaked the warhead?"
"Someone at the Pentagon. Thankfully." He got in to drive, putting his coffee in the cup holder. Tony got shotgun and Greg stretched out in the back. "Comfy?"
"Thinking how I'm going to report this to the board," he admitted. "It's not going to make some people happy."
"That's why we're confiscating it," Tony reminded him. "And the formula."
"Sonny's not a chemist. He's a thug."
"I heard from Caine that he capped his chemist," Gibbs admitted. "He wanted that formula in good hands anyway. They're trying to prove it was Sassone who capped him. If so we'll see Taylor up to arrest him. Apparently Mac enjoys it." He put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot, heading back to the office so they could do the reports they'd need to do. Not that someone wouldn't have a headache over this one. They would and a lot of antacid too.
Xander looked up as he shopped the next morning, smiling at the agent coming over to him. "Yes, Agent..."
"Edgerton, sir. Are you Mr. Harris."
"Yup." He held something up. "Think my boyfriend would like it? He's a CSI?"
That was a strange question to test him. He'd heard good things about the kid so far. He looked at the bag. "It's not big enough to be practical and it looks like a purse."
"Good point. Danny wouldn't like that." He put it back and moved on. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm here to go to the convention with you, sir." Xander gave him a look. "I'm often sent on retrieval situations." Xander stopped to stare at him. "I'm a sniper."
"Oh! Have you talked to Paul? He's over that."
"I wanted you to introduce me."
"Sure, I can do that. A lot of members aren't really sure about the plan the FBI has, even though it's for our own protection."
"I know. It's being pared down to major cities having one. New York, LA, Miami, a few others."
"They'll like that. Are you going to report to the board as well?"
"The agent over it is. He's out of the LA office. You'll get to meet him then."
"Okay. My car has plenty of napping room."
He looked at him. "You didn't ask to see my ID."
"Tony called earlier to tell me you were coming, described you, read your dossier to me." He grinned. "Besides, I have a very good bad shit meter after Sunnydale. Like the guy in the blue trench coat has weapons." He walked on, finding something larger. "This one?"
"How many pockets does it have?"
Xander counted. "That might be good. If not, maybe I'll give it to Eric for when he goes diving." He hung it on his arm and moved on, finding something else that he'd give to someone. The guy with the gun pulled it out and Xander looked at him. "Do you mind?"
"I want your money," he sneered.
"Dear, I'm heading for a convention. Of course I'm on plastic." The man pointed the gun at him. He carefully handed the bags to Edgerton then kicked his ass. He squatted down next to him, staring at him. "I've seen tougher gay men, like me," he said with a grin. "Now, are you done?" He nodded, whimpering some. "Good. I'm sure you'll learn to love the gay sex. Just like I do." He patted him on the head. "Be a good boy and empty your pockets for me, baby. Before I have to be *mean*." He did it, taking off his coat too. "Thank you. Good boy." He stood up and took the bags back, going to pay for them. "These please." She nodded. "Don't worry about wrapping. They're going as part of my Christmas presents." She smiled and nodded, taking his card to run. It declined. "I hate when Steve does that." He went to the car and came back with another one and cash. "This is the second convention." She ran that one and it declined. "What are you doing to my cards!" He listened. Then he snickered. "And the reason is?"
He nodded. "Thanks." He hung up, paying in cash. "Idiot bank is in brownout. That's why it won't run. Apparently half of Miami is." She handed him the bag. "Thank you." He walked over the guy, waving at him. "Have a better day, dear." He walked out to the car, getting in to call down there. "Are my pets all right?" He smiled. "I knew you were going to be fine, Don. Is everyone else and the babies all right?" He grinned. "That's good. No, my cards declined. Steve told me. Anything I can do to help?" He listened to the description of what had tried to eat the nuclear station. "The green thing in the safe at the house. That safe, yeah. Throw it onto it then a wire to ground the sucker. That'll work. Thanks." He hung up. "They'll fix it soon enough," he told the agent. "I'm going to hit one more store, NCIS to check on Gibbs and them, then head if you needed to grab some things."
"I've got my bag in my car up the street at the parking garage." Xander pouted. "Don't worry, I park it there all the time." He nodded. "Good enough?"
"If you want to help me shop."
"I think I should just in case." He pointed inside for the cops. "The guy crying on the ground about having to have gay sex. He was beaten by a customer." He walked back to get his bag, finding him reading in the car. He climbed in. "This is nice."
Xander grinned. "I wanted to be a bit hipper so I bought this and some bling." He put the car in gear and unparked, heading off to his next store. He loved jewelry stores. The agent followed him. "Hi."
"Sir, is that a monitoring bracelet?"
"No one wants me to be kidnaped while I'm up here." He grinned, putting down his card. His GHS membership card. The man moaned, starting to drool. "I need pretty things for the holidays for my babies and my friends, plus maybe some more bling for myself."
"Of course, sir. Let's go to the private room." He led him back there, getting them some water and let them see whatever they wanted. Xander and the agent had to argue a bit over who got the bag of money from the car but the agent won on security concerns.
Edgerton walked it back inside the store. "Where did you get this?"
Xander grinned. "Poker money." He paid the nice man, watching him drool. "Thank you for your help."
"You're welcome, sir. Which way are you heading? Are you new in town?"
"I live in Miami but I'm passing through on the way to the convention."
"DC could host one of those. We do have some very nice shopping."
"I'll suggest it to the national president." He winked then leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. "Thank you for your help." He picked up the three bags and headed out with Ian carrying the money. "I can do that."
"I'd rather. Just in case." He watched as Xander stowed things in one of the flaps in the back. "That's a nice feature."
"Emergency compartments." He answered his phone. "It's me. Is it fixed?" He beamed. "I'm glad it worked. How did the date go, Speed?" He laughed. "Good! That's why we called Frank. Well, yeah. It'd been put off four times. You were both frustrated. Besides you had most of them in custody anyway." He laughed. "We love you too. Leaving DC in a few hours. There's an agent here to make sure I'm okay and Gibbs put me in GPS. Bracelet. Big, huge, ugly thing. Yup, one of those. Sure, I'm being good. Doing some holiday shopping. Do you want anything specific?" He smiled at the answer. "I can do that," he said happily. "Sure. You be good. Let me know when the bank's back online so I can use my cards again. Going to see Tony and Greggy for lunch then we're heading together. Yup, love you too. Nighters." He hung up. "Speed." He closed the tailgate and walked around to drive. "They worry because terrorists gave one of the ones up here something to have him."
Ian got into the SUV looking at him. "Huh?"
"You didn't hear about that? I'll let Gibbs tell you." He called him while he waited for traffic to move. "It's me. If I can ever get out of the parking space I'm coming your way to pick up my boys and have lunch. Yup, he's here." He handed over the phone. "Gibbs. Tell me where I'm going. I've only been there once."
"Sure." He listened to the voice on the other end. "Edgerton, FBI. Yeah, that one." He smiled. "I heard he got warned. No, waiting on traffic." He nudged him and pointed at the cop car. Xander waved and the cop gave him a dirty look but helped him pull out. "Okay, we're heading. Office?" He nodded. "Terrorists?" He heard the groan and the short explanation. "He said one locally, Gibbs." He just nodded at that. "I'll look it up tonight then. I'm assigned to ride up with him, Gibbs. Yeah, that's fine. We can do that. Safer anyway." He hung up. "They're at the office. Gibbs needs you to sign a statement." Xander nodded at that, driving along. "Go east." Xander did that. "Now, get onto the highway." Xander pulled that way. "Good job. This thing turns very well."
"Power steering. Horatio said it's got a worse turning radius than a hummer but it makes him feel powerful driving it."
"I'm sure it does." He watched him drive. It was a nice car. Very nicely set up. He checked the features, turning on the undercarriage camera. "Hey, Xander. Maybe we should pull off for a minute?" Xander shrugged and did that so he got out and looked at the body clinging to the underside of the car. "Get out from under there." The kid wiggled over and got out, giving him a sniffling, hurt look. "You local?" He nodded. "We're going to drop you with the Feds we're going to see. They can figure out what to do with you." He got him into the back and sat back there. "I didn't see any others." Xander switched the view then nodded, pulling off again. "Take the one for the shipyards."
"Okay." He did that when the exit signs came up. He smiled at the guards at the base's perimeter. "Hi. I'm in to see Gibbs, DiNozzo, and Sanders please," he said happily.
"Yes, sir, can I see your ID?" He handed it over. He shuddered and handed it back. "I meant your state ID, sir."
"Oops. Had that out at the jewelry store." He handed it over.
"Can we check your car, sir?"
"Go ahead. Agent Edgerton has the kid he found underneath in the back waiting to hand him to Gibbs too."
"Sure, we can handle that for you, sir." He checked the car, frowning at the pockets in the back. He found one with guns. "Um..."
"It's allowed," Edgerton said, showing his badge. "It's for his protection."
"I'm the one who gave Tony and Greggy their version of my SUV," he said with a happy grin.
"I've seen it, sir. It's very nice." He looked at the kid. "Want us to call someone for you, Agent Edgerton?"
"Sure." He handed him over. "He climbed into a hollow in the undercarriage. I saw him on the Beltway."
"Ah. That's fine then." He walked the kid off. "Go ahead, Mr. Harris." He nodded, letting him drive on. He called the base's MP's. "An FBI agent just handed over the kid he found on the undercarriage of the SUV he was in. At the gate. Please." He hung up and went to stop and check the next car.
Edgerton walked Xander to reception, getting them signed in and upstairs. "It's been a while since I've been in here."
"I've only been here the once for present delivery." He hugged Gibbs. "Hi again."
"Get off," he said but he was smiling. He let him have the statement. "If that's right, sign it. If not, let McGee fix it." He looked at the agent. "You sure you can handle all three of them?"
"It'll be fine. He has plenty of guns in the back."
"Good to know. How did they solve the Miami brownout?"
"They threw the green powder in the safe on the thing causing it then grounded it," Xander said happily. He grinned. "If I had been there I would've done it right away but no one told me it was a demon trying to eat the power plant."
"At least we know how to do it now," Tony said from his desk. "Is there a classification manual?"
"Yeah, three or four. Plus what the Initiative got wrong."
"Thanks," Gibbs said. One agent came over to stare at them. "What?" he asked.
"I heard a project's name muttered."
Xander looked at him. "I remember shooting you. They didn't put you in jail?" He ran off. "Pity. Can I help someone fix that for you?" he called after him. "Fucking pissant extraction team member," he muttered, finishing reading then looking at him. "You misspelled my name." McGee opened it up, letting him get in there to write how it had happened, from the beginning. That way someone would complain to Gibbs about it instead of him. He let him see it, proof read it, then nod and print it, letting him sign it. "There you go," he said, handing it back. "Can we have Greggy and Tony now?"
"Fine," he said. "Go, boys. Be back Tuesday morning." They nodded, grabbing their things and heading out with them. He stopped Edgerton. "He's hyper, he's got an expediency switch, and he's always this bouncy. He's also confused when he's backed up."
"They turn into scatterbrained fairies," McGee told him. That got a nod and Ian went down on the next elevator. "Boss, when does Kate get back?"
"Three days, McGee. She can pick on DiNozzo for being so relaxed the day she gets back. Did he write a decent report?"
"It's very... literal with details." He handed it over. "Greg's last email from Don said that he's wanting Xander to publish some of his writing."
Gibbs looked at him. "Fantasy?"
"Only for some people, boss."
"Oh." He shook his head. "Any good?"
"I looked him up. His writing style isn't bad. Drew me in and I'm not gay."
"Then maybe he'll write real stories some day soon. Close out that file."
"I need Tony's report." He moved to his desk, finding it open and mid spell check. He smiled, finishing it up. When it was done he printed it and handed it over. "The last one." He logged him off, then checked Greg's system. It was down too. "All done. Now what? Cold cases or lunch?"
"Hit lunch, McGee." He grabbed his personal laptop and headed off to lunch. Gibbs read the report. Then he sighed and went to fax it to Caine. They needed a better guard on the kid down there.
Ryan grabbed the fax the receptionist was holding out. "Important or information?"
"A report from NCIS about Xander, sir."
"Oh, good. We've been waiting on this." She gave him a look. "Someone gave him an experimental warhead as a present. He went to hand it to them on the way to the convention." She just nodded while he walked off reading. He snickered at a few bits. He walked off on the detective's floor since they had a meeting in the break room to eat. He walked in and waved it. "Gibbs sent a report about the five bombs and the warhead. One had materials in it. Our sensors don't work. Neither do theirs." Horatio snatched it to read.
Don leaned over. "Xander wrote it. I can tell that much from the first paragraph."
Horatio finished it then reread it quickly before handing it over. "Why didn't he tell me?"
"He said he thought they were normal bombs and he had to hand in the warhead anyway," Danny said. "Tony and Gibbs told him they were in the construction phase of being dirty bombs. He did take the last one, that way they couldn't use them in his city. He arranged for you and Frank to find reasons for the rest of them to be arrested."
Frank snatched it from Don's hand, getting it snatched back but Don handed it over when he was done. He looked it over. "This means I can add a charge to one of them." The others got it. "Spanking?" he suggested.
"He'll pout. He was being good," Don reminded him. "Even if his poker buddies heard about the warhead instead of us. He was trying hard to protect us."
"Can we go search for more files?" Speed asked, taking it to read. When he was done he got the bottle of antacids, putting them in the middle of the table. "Is he going to be okay on his own?"
"The FBI sent an agent with him as of this morning," Danny said happily. "One of the snipers who's used to retrieval situations."
"Good!" Speed said sarcastically, eating a bite of his salad. He took another one.
"Greg and Tony are convoying with him," Don assured him. "He's got the SUV. So do they."
"I'm sure the agent's fond of the car," Horatio said, taking his own antacid. "How many more are we missing, Frank?"
"Two. They're out on bail and we haven't seen them yet. There's an arrest on sight warrant out for them both." The chief stomped in so he handed over the report. Then he looked at them. "Think he knows about any others?"
"I think if he did we'd get given them too," Horatio admitted. "Like we did these."
"That tumor of his?" the Chief demanded.
"Miniscule," Danny said grimly. "Still very tiny and not affecting anything. The new hobby's not enough."
"He did add onto that one story and submit it," Don offered. "He started on a new one thanks to a Xena ep. It's got a centaur, a teacher, and a mage."
Speed shook his head, taking another antacid. Horatio gave his thigh a squeeze. "Just the thought."
"No, he and Strife were watching them," Danny admitted. "Xander pointed out when she banged Ares she should've been walking funny, if unable to walk at all the next morning. He said Ares clearly wasn't trying."
"No, he doesn't know from personal experience that I know of," Ryan said dryly. He took his own antacid. "Chief?" he offered with a grin. He took one and stomped off with the report. "At least Xander let us arrest them so they couldn't go through with their plans. Would we have found their plans if we had searched deeper?" Frank shook his head. "We sure?"
"Yeah, what we arrested them on wasn't something to dig about." The Chief came back with a stack of papers and put them down. "Other wanted guys?"
"FBI watch lists and the Homeland watch lists. Have him find them since we can't." He walked off again.
"Yeah, sure," Speed said, taking them to look at. He sorted out six of them from the first set. Another ten from the other. "Poker buddies." Don took them to flip through, putting one down. "No?"
"Dead last week. Sonny's chemist." He kept going. "We should show Ray Junior the rest, see if he knows them."
"We'll see if Ray Junior can help us trap them," Horatio said, taking them. "Ah, the one who had his car towed home when it blew a tire." He shuddered and kept going. Then he went to the rest of the list. He put a few more into the pile. "New ones we've seen at the poker games." He looked at Danny. "Spanking?" he suggested.
"Did it help when you did it over the weapons?"
"No," he admitted. He called Mac. "Bring my nephew and your team here, Mac. Because we're involved and can't do it ourselves. Besides, we're under scrutiny thanks to the terrorists Xander helped us bust." He hung up on the moan.
Speed texted 'we have antacids for you' to Stella, showing it to his husband, who swatted him gently. They went back to their lunches until Mac got there.
Horatio looked at his nephew, handing over the larger stack. "Pick out all of yours and Xander's poker buddies in there please."
He shrugged and sat down to do that, finding a few more. "They're only at the one on the docks." He found one other. "I know him." He handed it over. "I've seen him around here I think."
Horatio looked then handed it to Frank. "It's Rick's apprentice paranoid person."
"He's going to kill us. Want SWAT?" he asked with a grin.
"No, Frank. Let's do the raid ourselves." Frank nodded, planning it out for when they'd both be at the office before the end of the day. He handed his nephew the smaller stack. "These are all still on the poker circuit?"
He pulled out three of them. "Dead or in jail." He found another one. "Again, saw him here." He handed it back, putting it with his other ones. "Why are they wanted?"
"Homeland and FBI watch lists," Don said happily. "We're paddling both of you."
"Then give Xander something else to do, Don." He got up. "Want me to call a game or what?"
"I want when, where, and how often you see them," Mac ordered. "We'll start surveillance. We have them on most games."
"Sure," Ray sighed, getting some paper to do that. Plus if he knew what they did.
Mac smiled. "I heard about the terrorist plot."
"Remember those guys Xander gave us for annoying him?" Frank said. Mac nodded slowly. "Them. We found out last night that they gave him a warhead and four dirty bombs in construction but Xander took the fifth so they couldn't use it in Miami."
Mac groaned. "Again!"
"It's miniscule," Danny told him. "He's just bored."
"Can't you knock him up or make him adopt or something?" Stella demanded.
"Then he'd corrupt a new generation," Speed pointed out.
"No, that's me," Ray said with a grin. "Does this mean I can't take the letter of recommendation to Columbia from the guy who went to Harvard and is now running a gear shop?" He handed his notes to Mac, looking at his uncle, who shook his head. "He offered because he said it'd make you happy to have Caines back in New York again."
"Is he on the list?" Ryan asked.
"No. He's a nice guy."
"Who?" Horatio asked calmly.
"Brian Dempsy. Said you two used to know each other when you were in college." Horatio blushed at that, coughing a bit. "Ah. So he wants you back?"
"If he's the one I'm thinking of, I had him arrested for stalking," he admitted. Speed looked at him, looking patient. "Some truly awful poetry, Speed. Plus some flowers and a few other gifts."
"He told me he saw Uncle H in a bar and fell in love after buying him a drink," Ray told them.
Don snickered. "What level starts that?"
"Yours," Speed said dryly.
"Nah, they want me for my tight ass." Danny tried to swat him but he was too far away. He stuck his tongue out.
"Ryan, please?" Speed asked. Ryan swatted Don for them. "Any we should know?"
"He only had one with a restraining order," Mac told them. "She died a few years back in a car crash." He finished reading over the notes. "I'll handle this so you don't have to see Feds, Horatio. Ray, no more poker for a while."
"It'll look odd. They're supposed to be watching out for me while Xander's gone so Danny and Don, plus my uncles can have snuggling time. Xander said so."
"We get plenty with you in the house," Horatio assured him.
"He said you didn't and he's the expert in that stuff. I'm only learning at his knee." He stood up. "I'm also supposed to be going to the auction today for him. Anyone object?"
"What auction?" Danny demanded. "We don't need more stuff."
"Some of your stuff that you didn't want," he told him. "The stuff from the closets." He strolled out, giving the Chief a pat on the arm. "It'll be okay, sir. There were only twelve that I know of in the poker circles."
He groaned. "Twelve! Out of thirty?"
"Yeah. Could be worse. The rest are thought to be heading for New York or LA." He grinned and walked off. "They gave it to Mac, sir."
"Thank you, Raymond." He went back in there. "Twelve?" Mac handed over the notes. "Don't we have surveillance on them?"
"Most of the games," Horatio agreed calmly. "Though none of them told me my nephew was going for Xander."
"Taylor, take over the surveillance detail. You have sense and know what you're doing. Apparently I need to fire some people." Frank handed him a sheet. "Isn't he..."
"Stetler's shadow, yes, sir," Frank agreed happily. "We're getting him today."
"Good." He handed it back and walked off to take something for his headache. Then he went to bitch out someone for not doing surveillance correctly. The labs didn't need to do two or more departments' jobs as well as their own. It led to overtime! Thankfully, Taylor and Caine picked good people who could handle it for them. Now if only they could hire a secretary. Each. He'd have to check their budgets so their forms quit getting in late.
Xander bounced up to someone he knew. "I'm back!" he squealed, giving her a hug. A few other GHS squealed too. It was good to be back in the fold.
to part 50: