Note: the cyborg chasing scene is courtesy of Dragfox.
Ray finished fussing with his subtle, dark blue Armani suit and black shirt, checking his shoes before looking over at Xander. Who was wearing silk pants and a silk button-up shirt but nothing else. His trademark hair was in a low ponytail with a bit of sparkle from the diamond and ruby hair clip holding it together. His bracelet was a platinum strand of metal. His throat wore a matching strand for a necklace. He nodded. Xander looked hot. Even though you could tell he wasn't wearing any underwear. "Won't they object to the lack of panties?"
"Not from a higher level GHS. They're amused when we show up dressed." He grinned and they went to the bank to finish picking out what he was bringing with him. Then to the auction. He handed over his invitation and got a nod, letting them inside. He got them through security. "This is my assistant, Ray. His uncle's with the PD," he told the off-duty cop.
He nodded. "I've seen him around. Mr. Caine."
He grinned. "Ray, please. I love being Xander's assistant. I'm never bored." That got a laugh. "Can you watch his car? He brought some samples in case he meets a dealer he wants to trade with."
"Of course. The corvette or the assault vehicle, Mr. Harris?"
"Xander," he chided with a small smile. "I drove the 'vette."
"We'll watch it for you, sir." They nodded and walked inside. He pulled out his phone to text his boss, just in case something happened. Had no one warned the rest of them that the most kidnaped man in Miami was going to be here? Or had he missed a briefing?
Xander sat down with Ray beside him, looking around the auction area. "I don't know two of the gem dealers but I do know one. Give me a second, Ray." He stood up and walked down there, smiling at one of them. "Good afternoon, Paulie."
"Xander," he said, hopping up to shake his hand. "More investment pieces?"
"Thinking about it and seeing if there's other gem dealers here I haven't met yet."
"I do know that one here does work with other GHS members," he admitted, leading him over there. "Mr. Verchin," he said respectfully. "This is Mr. Xander Harris. He's a level ten GHS, the one I got that interesting emerald off of."
He looked at him and smirked. "I know of your kind. I've worked with a few European ones in the past," he said with a gentle German accent.
Xander grinned. "There's a few of us over there. Paulie helps me locally when I have to dump some that I've gotten as presents that I don't want to keep. Speaking of, Paulie, I got another six or seven the other day and the vault is full. I have some here if you're interested in looking later. Or you, of course," he said with a smile. "Gotta make room in case I find something pretty today."
He nodded. "I would like that. In here?"
"In the car. No one's going to touch my car." He smiled and shook his hand. "I'd best get back to my seat. Looks like we're about to start." He headed back there.
Paulie looked at him. "I've gotten some very good pieces from him because he doesn't haggle much on the price. He has a very wide selection from some very generous... donors."
"I'll look at what he has then. Most upper level GHS are plagued with that sort of problem if they come out into public. I don't know many of his level that do."
"His two keepers are officers locally."
"Ah. He's bored."
Paulie nodded. "He used to play high stakes poker all the time."
"Interesting. The one with him?"
"The dayshift felony crime lab's head is his uncle. He's Xander's protege and a lesser level."
"Very interesting. Thank you, Paulie." He went back to his seat, leaving him to think about that. He loved GHS members. They often didn't appreciate what they were getting so they let things go at a minimal price. The auction started and he found the boy had a very keen eye as to what he liked. He went for unique, things with odd cuts or occlusions inside them. Interesting choices. That meant he was probably getting rid of the normal things. He did get the three pieces he wanted and the boy didn't bid too hard when they both wanted the same thing. So he wasn't hunting, he was bored and window shopping.
When three guys in masks and guns came in, shooting the ceiling to make their point, Xander looked back. "Ray," he warned. "This sort are very serious."
"I know." He texted his uncle by feel in his pocket. The guy pointed a gun at him. "Morning," he said calmly.
"Rich son?" he sneered.
"His assistant," he said, nodding at Xander. "I'm holding the checkbook for his husband."
"Then you probably have a lot of spare cash for donation purposes," the thief said, pointing his gun at Xander. "Give it over and the jewelry."
Xander pulled out his wallet, holding up the cards. "I brought plastic and bank account numbers for warm transfers. Not cash. I wasn't going to carry cash to this event." The thief sneered so he took off the jewelry and handed it over, pulling out a hairband to pull it back again because it was in the way. "Leave my assistant alone please. His uncle is a local officer with a very bad temper. That's why I'm allowed to teach him office things."
"Office things?" he joked. "You're a secretary?"
"No, I used to work construction then I got a sugar daddy," he said dryly, giving him a look. "Take it and move on if you want it. We won't be resisting." He walked off to threaten the next person. "Much," Xander muttered, raising his pheromone level. Ray shot him a glare. He gave him a look back. "I hate boring people. They annoy me." He went back to it, watching two of the three thieves fall to their knees. The last one glared at him so he blew a kiss. "What?"
"You're coming with us. I'm sure you have a good ride."
"I drive a classic sports car. No I don't. It won't fit all of you." He shot his two failing accomplices and Xander stood up when he stomped back. "Do not bring that near my assistant again," he warned. The guy pointed it at him. Xander sneered. "Think you'll make it out of here?" He nodded, moving the gun some. Xander moved faster, elbowing him in the face then taking the gun to point at him. "Unlike you, little boy, I know how to take the safety off." He clicked it off again. "And I know how to use it with precision that means I'm a marksman with this type of gun. I can blow the hairs off your balls if you move." He stared down at him. "Take off the mask. Now." He did it. Ray finished calling in help. Officers rushed in and he handed over the gun. "Are you all right, Ray?"
"I'm fine, Xander. Sit." He sat down again. "They were really rude," he told the officer. "They threatened Xander and things. Then they came near me with the gun."
"I don't know why he didn't fall like the others do when I spike it suddenly," Xander told an officer who had rescued him in the past. "Oh, he has my necklace, bracelet, and hair band."
The officer nodded. "Did you dampen it?"
"As soon as the other two went to their knees," Ray assured him. "Did Uncle H call?"
"He did. He wasn't sure where you were. Your finger slid off the right key." He patted him on the head. "Cute outfit, Ray."
"Xander bought it for me."
"He has good taste." They carted the two moaning, complaining thieves and the healthy one off. "Sorry they were so rude, people. We'll get the things they stole back to the proper people in a little while. If you'll sit there for a few minutes we'll get a list of who stole what." They drug them to the cars then came back to get that list and take statements.
Xander shrugged at the looks he got. "I hate being kidnaped. It's annoying. It spoils my mood and I don't need to be in a bad mood. Then people try to play with my hair and I hate that even more. Hair yankers suck."
Ray shook his head. "He has a unique outlook on life," he told one matron.
"GHS?" she asked. Xander smirked and nodded. "Most of you do. Though I do like your hair."
"Thank you." He grinned. "It's a fun toy now and then." She laughed. He looked at the other dealer. "Want to go look at my car's stuff?"
"If you want and you're still bored."
"Yeah, I kinda am." He made sure the auction people had the account information they'd need and took him out there to show him what they had taken out of the bank. He gaped then looked at him. "I have a lot more than this in the bank. They made me quit storing it at the house." He leaned on the side of the car. "I've let a few gem merchants from New York look when we took things to the bank but half of that wasn't there because it's been found recently."
"You own a mine?"
"No, I own a way to go off the plane and find things," he admitted. He grinned. "I deal a lot in the supernatural stuff actually. If you've heard of them, I used to work with a member of the Watcher's Council."
"Interesting." He did know about them and he hated them but oh well. Business with this one was very good. He found what he wanted and agreed on a price, having it sent electronically. The rest got put back into a bag and Ray came out with Xander's purchases. They smiled and headed off together while he made sure that the stones were real and normal. Other planes sounded bad but they were real and they reacted normally. So no difference there. Simply a difference in origin he decided.
Xander walked into the High Demonic Council's chamber, leaning down to kiss Vesvold on the head. "The present you wanted me to find for your mother's birthday." He handed it over. "I think she'll like that." He grinned. "It's a mirror stone. That way you don't have to unwrap the good job Ray Junior did." He winked and walked off again.
Vesvold smiled, putting it into his pocket. A few of the other demons gave him odd looks. "I don't have time to shop. I asked him to look for something for me so I could run down and buy it for Mother." He patted the present and they got back to business.
"You know, we could use him to handle that demon and vampire problem on that one realm," one of the others on the Council suggested. "He did used to hunt. They'd be drawn to him. We could send an extermination team with him as a distraction."
"That's too extreme," Vesvold complained. "Not that Xander wouldn't if you asked, but I think that's a bit extreme." They nodded. "We might be able to convince him to use his powers to bring them out of their lair. That would help." He pulled Xander and the dragon he had been petting back. "Xander, we have a unique problem. We have a set of very bad demons and vampires in one clan that has been causing problems."
"The ones that were running the gang in New York?" He nodded. "They're hiding again, aren't they? I know last time no one could get them because they went into hiding."
"We know where they are this time. We have no way of getting them out."
"You think they'll come for me?"
"I think you're distracting enough for them to come out and beg," he said honestly, earning a smile that made him warm. "We'd lend you backup and help to make sure you're all right."
"That'd be nice."
Ryan appeared with Strife then Strife disappeared. "Anything like that and we have to agree and he has to go with at least one of his protectors as well. Which usually means me."
"That would be more than acceptable to us," Vesvold agreed. "Plus we'd send a few others with you two to protect you."
Ryan nodded. "Xander?"
He shrugged. "Can't do it today. We're cleaning the ferret's cage and I'll need specs so I can plan."
"I can get you those," another councilor agreed. "We do know that your past hunting skills are still intact."
Xander grinned. "It helps to beat the demons off my ass when they come for me." That got a few snickers. "Send it to the house. We'll handle it." That got a nod and they left, being sent back to the house. He grinned at Ryan. "Long time no see."
"Work's been hell. No lunches recently?"
"The boss got onto me. Plus Danny said I couldn't because I gave Ray Junior a car." Ryan snickered and nodded. "Help me clean or are you on duty?"
"I was but Strife kidnaped me. Calleigh saw." He called her. "It's me. I'm back. Xander's. They wanted him to raid a demon clan that's being annoying. Yup, that stuff. Sure, get me a ride." He hung up and gave Xander a hug. "See you for dinner?"
"Sure." Ryan smiled before heading out to catch a ride with a cruiser that was doing a neighborhood patrol. That way he could get back to work.
Xander smiled at his pet dragon. "Hubert, that was a very nice offer, wasn't it?" They got back to work playing with the ferrets while they cleaned their cages. It was good playtime.
Gibbs looked at the newly reprogrammed robots, then at the General who had control over them. "What's she supposed to do?"
"Give you some helping dealing with DiNozzo and Sanders," he said, giving him a look. "They've got built-in pheromone monitors. They were programmed to handle it if a GHS was going on a surge or spike or whatever they call them."
"Annoying usually," Gibbs told him.
"Me too. Especially since Sanders had that small surge while questioning the witness about the body dropped outside the White House and the residue on the poor witness made the president go into a moment of gay panic." Gibbs coughed at that. "I know they can't help it, Gibbs. If they could they'd probably all want cured."
"Harris seems to have fun."
"Harris is insane anyway. Looking into his past showed me why." He looked at his subordinate officer. "I don't care if the world is ending, I do not want to see Harris on a military base ever the hell again, Gibbs."
"He's been on one?" he asked. He shrugged. "Was there a surge or something, sir?"
"Have someone down in Miami tell you why, Gibbs." He looked at the robot. "Which one's here?"
"Sanders. His level apparently varies by how well his hair does that morning or his moods, something like that." The general snickered. "I don't know. I know when his hair goes well for him he's a level six. When it doesn't or he's upset he's a level four." He shrugged. "I'm still learning all this stuff, sir."
"It's not exactly the Marine way."
"No, I can't see all the GHS members being Marines," he said dryly. "Trying to get them to march in formation would be enough to make every single drill instructor get too drunk to work."
"Don't give me thoughts like that, Jethro."
"I'll try not to have them myself." He watched as Greg was let into the room with the robot.
The robot looked at him. "Who're you?"
"Greg Sanders. Level six GHS. I'm a past lover of Xander's."
She blinked while she processed then came over to lay a hand on his throat. "You're on a surge, Greg. We have to take care of that."
"How would you suggest I do that?"
She opened her chest panel and pulled out something no one had been sure about. Then she attached it to her hand. "I can handle that for you so your surge does not upset others. Please drop your pants."
"Drop your pants now please. Do not make me get forceful. I'm told GHS don't like that." He gave her an odd look then looked toward the window, shaking his head. "Sir, it is most important that we fix this before someone unworthy shows up to take you from us." She reached for his belt but he smacked her hand. She huffed. "Well, that's not nice of you. We must take care of this." He opened the door and walked out but she followed, the sex toy attached to her palm still firm and glowing just a bit from the embedded lights. "Come back here, young man, before we have problems and you're taken again. It won't hurt, I've been fully trained in how to handle a surge and how best to wear those pheromones out. After all, there is only one cure for a surge." She tried to pin him against the wall but someone flipped the switch on her neck and she powered down.
Tony grinned at him. "She was chasing you around with a sex toy?"
"I put up an intentional surge to see what she'd do. Gibbs' orders," he said grimly, stepping over her. She lunged up and Tony had to move him.
Gibbs shot the taser into her chest, making her reset and power down. "Didn't mean for that to happen, Sanders."
"Just don't let her bugger me with the sex toy. Eww," he complained, walking off with Tony. He turned around. "Don't try to send them to Xander either. Ryan would end up taking them out and so would Don."
"Going to lunch, boss," Tony called as they walked off again.
"Fine. Be careful. Call McGee or Abby every few minutes so we know where you are." They both waved and he groaned, looking at the general. "Looks like the programming needs tweaked again."
"I'd say," he muttered. He waved the science team to come get her and take her away. "We'll try. Maybe we can offer them as protection for the average GHS."
Gibbs looked at him. "Some of the other higher members might not mind that flaw. Let me talk to the national head?"
"If you want. You know him?"
"I met Adam a few months back, sir. DiNozzo and Harris are friends." He walked off dialing his phone. "Adam, Gibbs. Those cyborgs Harris found come with a program to help the GHS surging. Think anyone would like that?" He smirked. "Sure, I can get the demo we just did released to you. Sanders. Chased him down with a sex toy. Yup. No, I don't think Harris would but what about the other GHS?" He smirked. "Exactly, plus they could help by going on rescues probably. I know there was a security program as well." He laughed at the grumble. "If it'll help someone we don't care. The general didn't veto it." He nodded. "I can do that. Sure, who?" He wrote down the name. "I can have a pass for her. How long will it take her?" He smiled. "That'll work. Thank you, Adam." He hung up and went back inside, handing over the name. "She is a level nine that is sequestered in Baltimore. She'll come down to see if it can work for the average GHS."
"I'll have her admitted," he said, going to do that. Maybe they'd keep some of the insanity down after all.
Speed got the email from Tony later that night, looking at the message that went to his phone. He opened it, staring at the simple words. "Hey, Xander, Marian, the level nine who lives in Baltimore, wanted to know if you'd be upset that she wanted some of the cyborgs."
"More power to her."
"You sure?" Don teased. "They might miss you."
Xander looked at him. "I talked to Greggy. They were testing what would happen when a GHS was going into a surge. She chased him around a military base with a sex toy attached to her hand while ordering him to drop his pants; that she'd take good care of him and was fully programmed for his pleasure." Horatio choked on air. He nodded. "If that'll help her, more power to her. Maybe they can even go on rescues for her."
Horatio shook his head quickly. "I'm sure it'll work out fine. What are you going to do with the island now that the cyborgs are gone?"
"I can either keep it, suggest to Jace that she use it for the resort, a further destination for safety reasons. We'd have to bless the ground so it became holy ground but it could happen. Or I can keep it for between lives for all of us." He looked around. "Any opinions?"
"Let Jace have it," Ray K. offered.
Ray Junior looked at him. "He should keep it for vacations and those in-between the lives times. That way you all have somewhere secure."
"We have a few of those and the resort is one," Danny said. "It'd do good for all of us." Don nodded that he agreed.
Adam considered it. "Either option would work but the resort taking it over and having it blessed might be more beneficial in the long run. This way you don't have to worry about including it in a will."
Xander looked at him. "We already have figured out, Adam. Plus all the next life stuff." He smiled at that. "I've been making plans. I can do that now and then. I've even had some contacts make next life identities for us all. Plus backup ones in case we need them for work reasons."
"You're going to work at a job where you might have to go undercover?" Ray Junior asked.
Xander gave him that special dumbass look. "No. It still might come in handy." Ryan stomped in. "You're back," he said happily.
"I am back. Have they showed up with the plans so you can get those demons out of their hidden spot yet?"
"Um...." Danny started.
"'Scuse me?" Don asked.
"The High Council is having problems with this demon gang out of New York that's been causing problems in one of the demonic realms. They've barricaded themselves somewhere and they need a way to get them out," Xander said, giving them a look. "Vesvold asked for help and Ryan showed up to remind him that I wasn't allowed on the demon realms without backup."
"No," Don said, shaking his head.
"I'd have half the Council's bodyguards with me," Xander assured him.
"No," Danny said, shaking his head too. "No way. They can figure out another way. It's too dangerous. You could get stolen again. No."
Xander stuck his tongue out. "I'm not your slave, I can do it to help them. They caused me problems too." He looked at Horatio, who was also shaking his head. "I didn't introduce the topic for discussion," he said dryly. "I'm doing it. Before I have to get bored and go shopping downtown again." They all moaned. *That* was a clear threat. Last time they had to rescue him from officers holding him hostage after he had hormoned half the downtown area and nearly had to rescue him from some new cult that had sprung up to his hair and magnificence. "Good, we're agreed then, I'm not asking for permission, I'm going." He looked at Ryan. "Though I could spank you."
"Like to see you try," he said smugly. Xander lunged and managed to catch him just enough off guard to tackle him and the further wiggling and rolling around he lost too. "I need to spar with you again," he said, flipping them back over before he could be spanked. Ray Junior reached down to tickle him, giving Xander the upper hand. "HEY!" he shouted, then yelped when Xander spanked him. "No fair!"
"I'm his assistant," Ray Junior said with a bright, happy grin.
"That's a way we can ground you beyond the car," Horatio decided.
Ray gave him that dumbass look he'd learned off Xander. "Then he'd be bored again. I'm keeping him from being so bored, Uncle H."
Speed shuddered. "No, we like that calling. It's a good calling," Speed assured his lover. "Almost as strong as one to be a priest." Don snickered at that. Ryan yelped again when Hubert nipped him. "Quit, Hubert." The two guys got off the floor, letting the dragon have the warm, comfy spot he liked to sleep in. He even reached down to pet him. "Did they disturb your nap, Hubert?" The dragon nodded, falling asleep while having some head scratches. This one had good fingers.
Xander gave his dragon a look. "You've been fussy recently."
Danny hauled him between him and Don. "We'll be looking over this plan."
Xander gave him a look. "I did plan things back in Sunnydale. Remember, I'm more than just long, pretty hair and hormones." Don nodded he remembered that. "Good." He smiled. "What are we having for dinner? I didn't cook."
They got up and went to check, then came out to order instead. It was easier and they were all tired. Especially Ryan since he was still rubbing his ass to get the feeling back into that spot. Xander had been a bit mean to him.
Xander looked at the plan Vesvold's guard had given him then looked at him. "You want them *out*, right?" He nodded. "Then it won't work. Take me there." The guard opened his mouth so he smacked him on the arm. "I'm the one who planned for Buffy, Jorge." He nodded, taking him there but guarding him. His boss had been very clear on this point: Xander getting hurt would mean torment upon torture until he died and then they'd do it to his body and soul until they all died. Xander looked at the building then scoffed. "Whoever did the plans marked the back as the front." He pointed. "That's the vulnerability there. If I had a rocket launcher," he sighed. He considered sending him for the one he had hidden but Horatio would get *really* upset if he learned Xander had *real* weapons on Miami as well as swords and guns.
Jorge coughed. "The boss said ....."
"Horatio doesn't know and neither do my boys," he said quietly, staring at the building. The guard whimpered. He shrugged but grinned. "It happens sometimes." He flipped his braid back over his shoulder. "Fine, we'll do this the GHS way instead of the Sunnydale method." He concentrated on his hormones, then started to move. Jorge had been picked because he had no mating desire. His whole species cloned themselves by splitting off like the little creatures in the slides during science class that he could never spell right. He kept moving through the dances, starting from the beginning while jacking up his pheromone output. The demons could sense that. These ones were very horny demons and ran a number of brothels. A few looked out and more were drawn. He switched to a more summoning portion of the dances, bringing them out to watch. Jorge summoned other guards, more of his kind thankfully, and they appeared out of sight to take them into custody. A few struggled but Xander gave them looks and they quit. The higher ones were still inside though. He stopped with a sigh of defeat. "How many more are there?"
"Their top ten patriarchs and the three matriarchs on the council, Xander," Jorge said respectfully.
"Fuck." He looked at the guards, then at Jorge. "Send someone to get the blue case and bring it here? Subtly and quietly. If Ryan finds out I'm toast and so are all of you guys." He nodded, sending one of the extra guards to do that while the other demons were taken off for punishment and confinement. They had already been put under a punishment sentence, they simply hadn't been able to arrest them. Another demon showed up with the blue case and he grinned. "Detective Mystick," he said happily. "I haven't seen you on the DPP when I was there the last few times." He gave him a careful hug then unlocked the case and kicked it open. He pulled out the pretty, modified rocket system and put it onto his shoulder, looking at the building. He moved to a better position and concentrated, adding a bit of seeking magic to it. Then he let the rocket launch and watched it go inside the building, right into the chamber the other demons were hiding in. The guards rolled in there, dragging out everyone. He looked at Jorge. "Kids too?"
"They'll be sent to another clan," he promised. "We do not want the children, Xander." He nodded, handing over the used tube. "Will you need that back?"
"No. You can have something that eats metal have it." He checked the case, pulling out two things he had stored in there then handed it over too. The detective took it and handed over something else from under the padding. "When did I put that in there?" He looked at it. It was Adam's card. He shrugged and put it into his pocket. "Oh well. It's good someone knows I have them in case we need them." He grinned and looked at Jorge, who took him home. He found Ryan pacing. "It's done. They're all out." He beamed. "It was kinda fun too." He gave him a kiss before going out to the garage to get into his car so he could see Adam. It wasn't a long drive by any means and the old man was at home, for a change. So he walked up to him, handing him his card back, kissed him on the forehead, then walked off again. "Did Oz tell you?" he asked as he went back to his car. He needed to do some shopping. His boys had been bored at home so he needed new things to make them have fun.
Adam put the card back into his pocket, scowling at his protege's rear and braid. "I should tell Speedle on you," he muttered. He considered it then went to tell his beloved. "Ray, love, just a head's up. We do realize that Xander has *other* weapons at his disposal? No, but I do fear some of the demons may know. No, I believe he had to use one earlier. Yes, more than his hips, his pout, his begging eyes, his hair, and his sword, Ray." He smirked at his complaint. "Well, I know that none of the others know. Probably not even Ryan. We do want Xander to *calm down* more often, correct?" He laughed. "Yes, you should probably subtly bring that up with someone who should also know. No, I don't believe his boys know either, Ray. Thank you, love. Of course I'll cook that pork dish for dinner." He hung up and went to start on that. Anything to spoil his boy so he'd have some...fun later with him.
Ray hung up and looked at Frank across the crime scene they were on with Stella and Mac. "What do you think Xander has for hidden weapons?"
Frank gave him an odd look. "I hope I just heard you wrong."
Mac looked over and smirked. "Yes, some of us do know. We scouted them already, Ray."
"My boy just warned me someone had to get into them. Probably Xander himself. He had that demon thing to handle."
Mac snickered. "Don't worry about it. I'm keeping an eye on that problem." Stella gave him a strange look. "Xander was her weapons and planning support, Stella. He had them back in New York for the most part. Some were presents and tips too. I found them after I heard what Xander had done in his hometown. He may not know I know, but I have been keeping track of that arsenal for him since I figured it out." She just nodded and got back to work. "I know his boys don't know and I doubt Horatio does," he told Ray.
"You tell 'em. I don't wanna be in the middle of that yellin' match. My boy and I'll hide tonight and let you handle it alllll by yourself, Mac."
"Sure," Mac agreed. Once they got done he headed back to Horatio's lab, finding him in his office going over some papers that were making him have gray hair and circles under his eyes. "A point was brought up at the last scene." Horatio gave him a grateful look. "Nothing *too* bad or anything, just a head's up." Horatio leaned back to look at him. "We do know that Xander knows more weapons than a sword?"
"I do know he knows how to use a gun."
"And a rocket launcher, and explosives," Mac agreed.
Horatio moaned. "I figured he knew something about explosives." Mac smirked and nodded. "He has some, doesn't he?"
"Explosives? A few bars of C-4 or semtex somewhere."
"Is that same somewhere a warehouse that might also house weapons?" Horatio asked dryly. Mac clearly wanted to be subtle and make him guess today. He presumably thought his brain needed the exercise thanks to all the paperwork he'd had to do recently.
"I've been keeping track of it since I got the tapes from Don, Horatio. Some were presents, some were tips, some came from Sunnydale after him. He's added to it now and then but I do know he has them."
"How many?" he asked quietly. He knew about the storage closets, he hoped it was only one of them's worth.
"If Miami's ever invaded, we've got it covered." Horatio groaned, rubbing his eyes. Not the answer he wanted then. "He keeps track of them. I'm sure he's got a good security system on them. Ray got a call from his boy saying that he had to use one of them earlier for that demonic thing."
Horatio stood up, putting back on his gun. "Show me, Mac."
"He'll throw a fit if you take them."
"I still need to know." Mac nodded, bringing him to the warehouse. They walked in and looked around. "Was it this empty before?"
"He's got most of it hidden magically." He handed over a pair of special sunglasses. "I had one of the witches at the shop he uses put seeing spells on them." Horatio slid into them, looking around the warehouse, whimpering under his breath. He looked at Mac, who took them back to look over. "There's a new pile since last month." He walked over to look at them, nodding a bit. "Mala Noche or someone else you think?"
"I think someone else found them and decided to take it over, Mac. Is anything missing?"
He looked around again. "One blue case that held a grenade launcher from Syria." He handed the glasses back and pointed. "It was there. Looks like one other was missing but someone restacked them." He called Xander. "Xander, did you use something from the warehouse recently beyond the grenade launcher? Because there's no dust in it's spot, Xander." He smirked. "Yes, I have known. Since you brought them to New York. Also, have you been adding to them? We're here." He hung up. "He was out getting new things to amuse Don and Danny with. It'll take him about twenty minutes."
Horatio looked at him. "We can spank him for this, right?"
"No," he said. "It's his old nature, Horatio. He'll pout and whine. I can't handle him pouting at me about his babies."
Horatio hung his head, shaking it slightly. "We have got to find Xander a better hobby."
"He was looking at leather work."
Horatio looked at him. "Speed got given a yellow leather, padded thong with a pale cream silk interior." Mac snickered. "He said it's comfortable and it does match his bike."
Mac walked off laughing, going to stop whoever was pulling in. "It's not him." Horatio pulled his gun and they got ready for whoever this was. The person walked in and Mac coughed. "Miami-Dade PD. Freeze." The man gave him a horrified look. "We know the original owners of the stash, young man." He tried to move but Horatio shot at his feet. He froze. "Good idea." He got him cuffed and down by the time Xander got there.
Xander walked in and saw the person then ended the spell, making the guy on the ground whimper. "You got me presents? Thank you," he said with a happy grin. "I like these. Too bad you can't have them back."
"You can't have them at all," Horatio noted calmly. "Come here, Xander." Xander gave him a hurt look. "I don't care. Come here, Xander." Xander walked that way, looking dejected. He pulled him behind a large pile of containers to spank him then looked at the young man. "This is very dangerous, not only for you because it is illegal to own, but also for the city. I don't know how he found it but I don't care."
"Yes, Horatio," he said weakly.
"Thank you. Now, we're going to confiscate it, aren't we?" Xander pouted. "Xander," he ordered. Xander slumped, nodding, scuffing a foot on the ground. "Thank you. You and I are going to talk about any other collections you might have as well. Especially about things that could be dangerous to my city."
"I was hiding them."
"I do not care, Xander. Other people can do magic and the man in handcuffs knew it was here."
Xander nodded. "He's one of Vesvold's guards." Horatio held up his wallet so he could see the design on the front. "I didn't know he hired thugs."
"He does. Ones that your boyfriend is very angry with." Xander nodded. "Now, unhide anything we haven't found. You may not keep heavy weapons in Miami, Xander."
"Or at the farm or anywhere else in the US."
"Yes, Horatio," he sighed.
"I know you like weapons but these sort are dangerous if they get into the wrong hands. You'd have to blame yourself if they hurt someone with them." Xander nodded. "Do we have an inventory?"
Xander did something and a list came to him. He looked it over. "We're missing one case of AK's and the launcher I used earlier." He handed it over.
Horatio looked at the list then at him. "You will be telling Danny and Don later, Xander."
"So did Mac. I still don't want it in Miami, Xander. The Federal sorts can arrest you for having them. We'd hate to miss you while you were in prison."
"Yes, Horatio," he sighed. He gave him a look. "Can't you tell Don while I hide?"
"No, Xander. You can tell Don to come down here and help us load them up for you." Xander nodded, texting him to come help Horatio and Mac. "Thank you. Are there any other collections I should be aware of?"
"Not unless they can hurt others," he said dryly.
Xander shrugged but nodded. "A few can. Someone gave me an exploding one once."
Mac walked around the barrier to look at him. "Who gave you an exploding dildo?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "We can go look for it later if you want."
"Sure, we can do that," Mac agreed with a grin. "I've known about them since right after you made them the tapes."
Xander gave him a hug. "I'm keeping track of them."
"I know you are," Mac promised, patting him on the back. "You still can't have them since someone else found them, Xander."
"At all in Miami," Horatio ordered. "Even if they're hidden better in the future." Ares appeared, giving him an odd look. "I don't care, Lord Ares. They're dangerous in my city."
"I agree. Xander, that exploding one is on top of the case of jade ones. Cupid moved it there when he found it. You might want to show them the gun locker as well, my priest." He patted him on the back and left again.
"Yes, you will be," Horatio assured him. He walked around when he heard people coming in. "This was your boyfriend's," he told Danny and Don, then looked at Calleigh and Speed. "He understands that it's dangerous and he does not need such weapons in Miami. We'll be going over his gun locker later."
Don looked around then at him. "My boyfriend would be where?"
"Hugging Mac after I spanked him," he said quietly.
Speed patted him on the back. "You make a good dad, H." He walked around to get the list, letting Calleigh have it, watching her nearly swoon. "Who's the putz in the cuffs?"
"He decided to take control of Xander's collection."
Xander peeked around the edge of a crate. "He can't have them."
Don motioned him over, getting a head shake. "Now, Xander." Xander shuffled that way, letting Don sit him down and spank him some more. "We do not need weapons like this." He made his boy look at him. "I don't care. This is dangerous as *hell* and I do not like this collection."
Xander pouted. "I've had some of them since tenth grade," he said miserably.
Don whimpered. "I don't care! Guns maybe. Rockets, grenades, and explosives, no!"
"Yes, Don," he sniffled.
Danny gave him a hug. "I agree, Xander. It's too dangerous, especially with some of the contacts you have that might find out you have real weapons." Xander nodded, pouting at him. "We'll talk about collecting other things instead."
Ryan and Eric walked in and Ryan dropped his case, kneeling there to say a prayer to his God in hopes that they could destroy them all without having them stolen.
"Yes, you can," Ares called. "Do it tonight or tomorrow, kids."
"Thank you, Lord Ares," Mac called, shaking his head. He looked at Ryan. "We could've protected them, Wolfe."
"Fat chance! Someone would've stolen them to give them to Xander!" He looked at the guy in cuffs then at Xander, who wasn't quite standing right. "He the one who stole them to give to Xander?"
Horatio pulled him up, shaking his head. "This was Xander's collection and he tried to take control of it."
Ryan burst out laughing. "Good one, H!" He walked off.
Eric looked at Horatio. "Wolfe, he's not kidding."
Ryan glared at Xander. "You had stuff like this?"
"Some of it since Sunnydale," Danny told him.
Ryan walked off swearing in another language. Frank was snickering about it from the doorway. "How many more, Xander?"
"Horatio wants to have the exploding toy someone sent me and look in the gun locker."
Don made his boy look at him. "Yes, we'll be looking at the rest of your collections, each and every single one of them, Xander." He nodded, still pouting. "I don't care. If it's dangerous we have ta know."
Xander nodded. "Even though I've had some for a while now?"
"Especially those things. You did dangerous shit in Sunnydale, we don't need you to do it here," Danny pointed out. Xander pouted but nodded, letting him have the list. "The others?"
"Where are they?" Horatio asked him. Xander pouted all the way out to the corvette to take him where the other things were. They found a dent in the guns in the gun locker, which Xander summoned back with the present holders, letting Horatio arrest a lot of people and Vesvold's guards do a few more for Horatio. Then Horatio made him show him where everything else was that he was hiding, even the other stashes of money and electronics. He wasn't a happy camper by any means and Horatio was amused but not really surprised. Xander's past lead back to weapons to kill things. Of course he had kept some. A whole warehouse of guns was too many but he had kept some.
Xander walked into Horatio's office that night. "Can I suggest something?"
"It depends on the suggestion," he said, giving him a look.
"Can Calleigh have some of the guns and stuff you took from me?"
He put down his pen, staring at him. "She would like that. It could help the department as well."
"You didn't get them as part of a criminal activity so technically you don't have to destroy them," Xander pointed out gently. "Plus she'd quit pouting at me."
He smirked. "She is?"
"A lot. Came over to pout at me for not letting her play with my weapons."
Horatio nodded. "If I can, Xander." He pouted. "They've already been logged in."
"But they're not from a crime."
"I know that. That may work. I'll see what I can do." Xander nodded, putting down a hershey bar then leaving him alone to go sulk with his safe collections. Horatio shook his head, calling his boss. "Sir, it's Horatio. Yes, I did just talk to Mr. Harris. Ah, you saw him pull away. No, earlier today we were informed that he had a few weapons collections due to his past and that some were rather dangerous. I helped him weed it out to a safer level. No, he's tired of Calleigh pouting at him," he admitted. His boss snickered. "Exactly. He does it to all of us. He wanted to know if she could have them as part of her exemplar since they weren't confiscated as part of a criminal activity. He did voluntarily hand it over, sir. I made sure of it." He smirked at his renewed laughter. "That's what he was thinking. Could she?" He nodded. "Thank you, sir. I'll let Mac have whatever she doesn't need. Plus possibly a few other labs if we have extras left over." He hung up and called Calleigh. "The Chief has said that you can use anything we confiscated from Xander today as part of your exemplar as long as you share with Mac's lab." Her squeal nearly deafened him. He smiled. "But you have to come back tonight to sort it out." She hung up on him, probably running for her jeep right then. He smiled. He loved making her happy. Speed strolled in. "Xander convinced me to let Calleigh have his guns for her exemplar."
"Think she'll offer to bear us babies again?" he asked dryly, taking the candy bar to nibble on.
"Maybe him," he said with a small smile. "I've still got to finish the last six packets."
"You still have to eat dinner too," he said patiently.
"I have to have them done by midnight, Speed."
Speed looked at the ones that were left, taking two to look over and work on. "I'll do these."
"You're not allowed. The oversight board won't let you."
Speed looked at him. "Will they know?"
"It's handwritten. Yes."
"Fine." He put them down and finished the candy bar. "What do you want for dinner? We can eat in here if we must. Though it will not be happening again this month without a damn good reason. It throws off your eating schedule and you get grumpy."
"Something I can't spill on them? Otherwise I have to do two weeks of paperwork by midnight."
"Name a food group."
Horatio looked at him. "Whatever you feel like, Speed. Order from somewhere and get me something I'll like." He sighed, going to do that. Horatio got back to his forms until he heard Calleigh pulling in a large crate of guns. He smiled, counting the seconds until she came up to pounce him. Then she bounced out to go back to work sorting them out for her cabinets and Mac's cabinets. He snickered quietly. She did love her guns.
Xander curled up on his corner of the couch, ignoring his boys and their looks at him. He could do that. He had done it with his friends, he could do it with his boyfriends. Not much different really. He got up to get a drink but Danny pulled him into his lap. "What?" he asked sullenly.
Danny made him look at him. "If you had told us, we wouldn't be as upset. We would've helped you weed it down to things you had to have because you thought you'd need them or they brought back good memories." Xander opened his mouth but he put his hand over it. "We would've done that back in New York even." Xander slumped. "You didn't trust us."
"You'd take them!"
"Well now we had to," Don agreed. "Horatio was right, that's dangerous. We could've helped you get a few stored. Things that meant a lot to you." Xander shook his head. "I know most of them were nice but the ones that you had from Sunnydale or the ones that got you good memories. That stuff."
Xander looked at him. "No you wouldn't have."
"Xander," Danny warned.
"One of them was a rocket with a biological warhead!"
"That we probably would've worried about," Danny admitted. "He did know that, right? There's probably special destruction ways for those things."
"It was disarmed and on the inventory," Xander admitted.
"Good!" Don agreed. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because you guys didn't want to deal with my past!" he said, getting up to look at them. "You guys hated it every time I had to pull something out of my ass or had to deal with a demon. Well, gee, that's what I used to do and why I had the weapons." He walked off, going to sit outside with his soda. This had been a happy day earlier. Maybe a slight wish... No, Horatio had found that guy in his stuff and it'd be bad if he had used it. He'd been right about him feeling guilty if someone had gotten hurt with his toys. Plus prison would probably suck. A lot. He sipped his soda and watched the stars come out.
Don flopped down next to him. "We still would've helped you keep some of them," he said quietly, leaning back on his forearms so he could watch the stars too. "If you had let us know we would've told Horatio up front and he wouldn't have gotten so upset."
"He nearly freaked when I pulled out a rifle a while back," Xander said quietly. "Most GHS don't use weapons unless we have to."
"You're not the usual GHS and neither is he, Xander."
Xander looked at him then shrugged. "He wants me to be."
"We know you're not." He stroked over his arm, giving him a small smile. "What didn't you show him? If you tell us, we won't tell him anything other than it was a present if we have ta get rid of something."
"You shouldn't have to. I showed him."
"Uh-huh." Don gave him a look. "Where are they? I know you won some at poker."
"That was in the gun locker." He took another drink.
"Vegas, out of the country?"
"On the demon planes somewhere?"
Don sighed. "If you tell us we won't be mad, Xander."
"I don't have anymore, Don!" he said, standing up to look at him. "He took them all. That means I'm more vulnerable now."
"We protected you before," he pointed out.
"Half the demons knew I had them and they stayed away because they knew I could destroy them!" He stomped off, going for a walk.
"Oh, no," Danny called. "You're not leaving the house in a snit. We don't wanna get you back from Mongolia or Tibet or somewhere." He jogged after Xander, turning him around and walking him back to where Don was pouting. He put him down into Don's lap, looking at him. "They knew? All the demons knew?"
"It's part of his rep from Sunnydale," Don said gently. "He was her gear guy and planner."
Danny nodded. "Then we'll see if it'll pick up. Remember, a lot of them stopped because of Vesvold."
Xander looked at him. "I've killed six demons in the last week, Danny." Danny moaned at that. "Mostly for wanting to play with my hair or own me."
"Mostly?" Don asked.
"One knew who I used to be and tried me for that reason."
"He gone?" Don asked. Xander nodded, relaxing against his chest. "Do we have anything hidden?" Xander shook his head. "You were totally honest with Horatio?"
"I had to be. Mac already knew."
"Crap," Don said, pulling out Danny's phone since his was charging in the house. He called Mac. "A point just got raised. A lot of demons know who Xander used ta be and that he had weapons. Xander thinks that many of them stayed away from him because they knew he had weapons." Mac whimpered. "So now what?" He nodded. "Sure, we'll pray to Ares and you do it too." He hung up and looked up. "Think that'll happen?" he called quietly. "If so, we'll let him go buy a few more."
Strife appeared, looking at Xander, then nodded. "He's right."
"I knew that," Xander said dryly, giving him a look. "I'm also on the watch lists thanks to today. Plus Horatio would beat me to death next time."
Don gave him a cuddle. "We'll figure it out, Xander."
"No we won't!"
"Xander!" Danny snapped. "We're going to help. Remember us, your lovers? We're in this too."
Strife sighed as he looked at him. "You're gonna be lucky if you don't all get stolen together." He disappeared again, going to talk to Ares. "The kid had a point."
"They've warned others it'll happen. Xander will do something unusual and it'll be solved," Discord said with a flick of her hand.
"Horatio confiscated all his higher weapons earlier when he heard he had them," Ares told her. She whimpered, giving him a horrified look. He smirked and nodded. "If we're lucky, they'll all be taken together so we can get to the anchor and help him. If not, well... You can go on some of the rescues too."
"I can talk to Horatio once he's done with the paperwork," Cupid offered. "I know that he has to get it done or they'll shut the lab."
Ares looked over. "Too late."
Cupid looked down at the house in Miami then moaned. "The others?" He checked, holding off the guys who wanted to take Horatio from his office until he could finish the last form. It'd keep them from doing a full out assault on the station and possibly killing other officers as well. They watched as he got taken as soon as he walked outside, Speed being knocked out at the same time since he was right behind him. He hoped really hard, putting Ryan and Eric into the right area as well. Ryan did get taken, Eric didn't. "Could be worse," Cupid decided. They tracked where they were going. "They're staying on Earth. Going to.... Looks like... LA?" he suggested.
Ares looked then nodded. "Yeah, the underground in LA. Which means they're about to be sold." He looked at Strife, then at Discord. "Go stop that sale." They headed off. "Cupid, get him weapons."
"He's got the hairpins. He's got some magic."
"Get him better weapons, get Wolfe some too," he ordered. Cupid nodded. He could get into those places because technically they were all about lust, even if he did hate the flesh peddling going on. Ares went to find someone to warn them. He found Stella and Mac. "Congratulations. Taking his weapons meant that the demons thought he was weak enough to be stolen now. By the way, you're going to be filling in for a lot of people tomorrow." He disappeared.
Stella blinked at Mac, who started to call around. He got Eric on his second round of trying. "Eric, what happened," he demanded. He listened then moaned. "No, demons. They decided Xander was weak enough to take because we have all his higher weapons." He hung up then pushed Stella off him so he could stand up. "We have to find them."
"I agree. Do we have any demonic contacts outside Xander?"
"The one in jail," he admitted. "Or Vesvold if we can find him." They went to get redressed and head into the lab. Eric was sitting in there with an ice pack. "You good?" he asked.
"No. Head still hurts." He looked at him. "We were coming out to go home. Horatio got the paperwork done."
Cupid appeared. "I made them hold off until he did so they wouldn't assault the lab, dude."
Eric smirked. "Thank you. Where are they so we can go on a rescue and destroy mission?"
"LA. Their underground holds a yearly auction." Mac's jaw went solid as he ground his teeth. "They're fine so far. It'll be in a few days. We're trying."
"How do we get there?" Stella asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know how you guys get there. Head to LA, get that Angel guy to help?" He disappeared.
"We can do that," Eric agreed, standing up and heading off. The others followed. "We know they have at least Speed, H, and Wolfe. They were with us when I got knocked out." Mac nodded at that. "If they have Xander we should check his house first."
"I tried calling. The dragon knocked the phone off the hook and grunted, sounding very displeased," Mac admitted. He got into the hummer to drive, letting Eric get the front seat so he wouldn't be as motion sick. Stella got into the back and they headed off to check Xander's place. It was there. The doors were open. Vesvold was watering some roses he had planted. "Vesvold?" He looked over. "Are they all right?"
"I'm forbidden from getting to them," he said. "I can't go there until the auction itself. No demons can and they do ward it against humans as well."
"Can you give us a map?" Stella asked. He handed one over. "Thank you."
"Do try," he said quietly. "I can buy them back but it would set a bad precedent if I let them go afterward." He disappeared.
They headed back to the hummer, Eric calling the boss on the way to the airport. Someone was not going to be happy.
Eric found the Hyperion Hotel, it was marked on the map as well. He walked in and looked at the people in there. "Is Angel here?"
"Brooding in his office," the young woman quipped. "Why?"
"We need to talk to him. There's a lot of trouble coming his way." Angel stepped out of the office, giving him an odd look. "Eric Delko, out of Miami."
"Cordy told me about you. What happened?"
"Horatio confiscated Xander's weapons," he said dryly. Angel moaned. "They're somewhere about to be auctioned off. We need help getting in there."
Angel shook his head. "I can't get in either. Until they remove the blocks, it's a sealed realm, Eric."
"Can you get us to it?"
"I can do that much but you still can't get in and if you try it could destroy everyone in there."
"Then we'll figure it out when we get there." Angel nodded, grabbing his coat and following him out to the car. "We know they didn't take Horatio's nephew. We know they took Xander, Don, Danny, Horatio, Wolfe, and Speed."
"I know those names," he admitted. "Isn't one a high priest to Ares?"
"They're doing what they can," Mac said, putting the guns he had picked up on the way back together again. The airline had made him disassemble them for the flight. He looked at him. "How bad is it going to be?"
"Remember his stories about the battle realm? Worse than the crowds there. Especially with so many GHS going up. Xander will bring a lot of them. A slayer's helper, one cursed like he is? He'll bring everything."
Eric nodded. "Then we'll handle it in a way Xander would appreciate." Angel pointed so he turned the corner, following his silent directions to the place where the doorway should be. "How do we know it'll open?"
"The gate will come down and they'll open the door," Angel said. "Just like any shop in the morning." He looked at them. "You can't break in there. It will rip the realm and everyone could die."
"Xander, Wolfe, Danny, and Don are immortal. Speed and H are gifted by Aphrodite," Stella said quietly.
"They're not the only people there," Angel assured her. "This is done every year and it's a huge auction. Last year they had over three hundred slaves going." They all shuddered. "Most of those from other realms that were being traded off."
Mac nodded. "Thank you for your help. Can you come back to help us when it's time?"
"There's a kill on sight order," Angel admitted. "Because I'm a champion and I hunt other demons."
Mac nodded. "I can understand that. Thank you." Angel nodded, getting out to walk back and hunt on the way. They got out to examine the doorway, looking for a way around the gate.
Strife appeared, cleaning his nails off. "You rang?"
"Can you get us in there with the weapons?" Stella asked.
Strife smirked. "Only if someone's willing to go up on the block. It's tonight."
Mac nodded. "I will. It'll put me in a better position."
Strife shrugged. "Not really." He smirked. "The layout's bad." He let them have a map, watching as they looked it over. "Free this area," he hinted. "Then let them go. That's where hunters are kept." They nodded and Strife got them in there with Eric having the collar on. Then he went to watch from Olympus since they couldn't really get in there either.
Xander woke up in a room, groaning and holding his head. He checked his hair. "Didn't cut it. I'm shocked." He felt around himself. He still had hairpins. He had the tiny hair dagger he wore. He had his balls, so that was nice. He stood up, looking around. He noticed a few other bodies sleeping around him and that they all had ankle chains. Xander looked his over. No lock. He concentrated and the shackle came free, showing a lock. He looked around then went to one he kind of recognized, shaking him. "Hey." The man blinked at him. "We're in deep shit." He handed him a hairpin, helping him find the lock. He nodded, undoing his and moving to help the others wake up while Xander took the other end of the room. He woke a few and had to jump out of the way. He woke one and had to hit him back for the attempted blow to his face. "Don't dent me."
"Where are we?" one asked.
Xander looked around, then up at the ceiling. "Underground. So this isn't a new battle arena." He looked at him and shrugged. "Not a clue yet. Let's find out, shall we?"
"Who're you?" another asked, eyeing him. "Besides being someone's boyfriend?"
"Xander Harris, helper to the Slayer Buffy when she was in Sunnydale." That got a few groans. "Before she went off the deep end and decided she had the right to own me." He got the last guy up. "Someone find a doorway, let's see if we can get the locks open? I know a bit of lock magic." They nodded, searching for a doorway. One of the guys found a lock in a solid rock wall so he went to look at it. "Huh." A flash went off behind him so he looked. "Hey, Fred."
"Yup. Why're you here?"
"I don't know. I was at the desk...." She shrugged. "Is this the auction thingy they were talking about rescuing you from?"
Xander walked over to stare down at her. "What auction thingy, Fred?"
"The yearly slave auction thingy," she said, blinking at him. "You know, I never thought you were dangerous before."
He smirked. "You'd be so surprised and so would Angel. What demon slave auction thingy?"
She sighed, shrugging a bit. "I know they have one yearly. We're partially in a sealed realm. It'll be soon probably but we don't know how soon. It's not just new ones, some are traded and some are new. I know that a few of your friends came up looking for you. Um, Eric showed up."
"Good, that's a good thing. Who else was taken with me?" She shrugged. "I was at home with Danny and Don. Anyone got a cellphone? I noticed they didn't check me very well."
They all patted themselves down and one did come u with a phone. Xander texted Danny's phone then Horatio's phone, though he left him a rude message about wanting his weapons back now, thank you. He got back one from both of them. An apology from one and a small complaint from Horatio. "Okay. We have at least some backup from some police officers," he announced. "They're in other rooms." He looked at her. Then he smirked and laid a hand on her head, making her scream. "Fred's eyes aren't blue, dear." She melted and he looked at the others. "Sorry, but nice information." He handed the phone back to the owner. "We're in deep shit. I've heard about this auction in the past."
"How?" the guy he kinda knew asked.
"I'm a high level GHS member. This isn't the first time I've been stolen." He went to look at the lock again, taking back his hairpins to get to work on it. He smiled when it opened but the door was still shut. "Aw, crap." He looked at it then frowned. "I'm going to be praying for mercy later," he muttered, laying his hands on the doorway. He prayed hard to Hecate, getting what he needed back from her and Cupid of all Gods. He blew the doorway, wincing and shaking his hand. "Not happy." He walked out, taking on one demon and snapping his neck. It wouldn't kill him but it made him feel much better. So did his weapons and his keys. He tossed the keys to someone and took the sword with him. The gun was nice but half of them couldn't be killed with them. They were clearly set up to kill the humans if something should happen. He found another guard and sliced into him, making him scream in pain as he fell. "So much for quiet." He moved on, falling into it. He was not a happy camper. Ares could piss and moan all he wanted. He was going to lose it and have fun with it being gone. They would *all* pay for this one.
Horatio smiled at his phone. "Xander said he wants his weapons back."
"Yeah, us too," Don agreed, taking the phone to look at. "Now what?"
"They're getting free," Horatio said calmly. He moved to wake up Speed again. He had a concussion and kept drifting off. Someone opened their door and glanced inside. "Can we help?" he asked the human looking thing.
"No. Just checking on you meat products." He started to close the door but Don and Horatio blocked him, Don knocking him out. The others got free and headed out. Horatio got Speed and followed last. It was safer for the moment. He was not going to leave Speed behind. He saw Ryan and smiled because he was beating up on something. Something big and smelly. He jumped when he heard lightening hit, looking around.
Ryan glanced around too. "That was a quickening." He jogged off to see who it was, finding Xander having taken some guy's head. No one he knew thankfully. He made Xander look at him, seeing the blank expression. "Oh, shit. Xander, find the way out and open it. It has to be opened, not forced open or we all die," he ordered calmly. "Ares said so." He nodded and went to find the doorway. Ryan took Speed from Horatio and they followed. It might be a longer hike but it'd be safer to be behind Xander. The others fighting weren't winning but he could hear gunshots from ahead of them. They found Mac, Stella, and Eric shooting at the demons. "Guys, he's lost it," he said when Xander went after Stella.
Mac punched Xander on the jaw. "We're helping your side, Xander. Go find the others and get us out of here." Xander growled at him, moving to fight him too. Ryan handed Speed back and got Xander pointed in another direction, at a demon coming their way. Xander's growl changed pitch and he went after it instead. It wasn't going to live very long. Not many things were. Mac smirked at him. "Thanks, Wolfe."
"Not an issue. Take Speed." He headed off to back Xander up, finding Don doing that. He smiled and took the extra sword he had, gutting something coming up on his side. Xander finally found the exit and they had to look at it. It was locked. Not magically locked. Padlocked with a DNA coded lock. None of the blood that had ended up on them matched. None of the demons they gathered from the remains of matched. Xander saw another demon and headed off to kill it too while Horatio and Mac got the lock to look at. Danny had jumped into the fight after helping release more of the prisoners. Some weren't wanting to come out. Some were nearly dead. Some... well they were trying to cause them problems and stop them from getting out.
"The Overlord won't like this!" one shouted, starting to cry. "He'll punish us all!"
"If you can get him down here, I'll make sure he can't," Ryan snapped back. He shrank back and hid behind another slave. They found Danny trying to pull Xander off something. "What's that?"
"Powerful. No other clue," Danny called.
Ryan looked at it then sneered and started to swing but his tattoo to Ares heated up and he yelped, stopping to grab it. "Okay, I won't do that. Got any other clues?" He looked at Xander. "Snap out of it!" he yelled. Xander went limp, then burst out crying, letting Danny soothe him. "He's stressed."
"I noticed that. You did good, Xander," Danny promised, leading him back to the doorway. They were all free now. The slaves were complaining. The ones who hadn't been broken yet were trying to help figure a way out.
Xander looked around. "Every realm has a keystone but that would unravel it instead of opening it. Unless...." He looked at Ryan. "I need to draw from you."
"Sure," he agreed, knowing what he was planning by their long training together. Xander linked hands with him, taking the extra quickening he had at the moment to open a portal. They got the slaves moving and ended up somewhere else. It was a huge bazaar. Shops of every description and style. They got everyone out of the old place, leaving it open in case someone was hiding. Then Xander drew from Danny to open another one, this time to the DPP station. They ran through it and made the demonic detectives squad send them all to somewhere safer. In their group's case, a realm they had visited before. Earth was occluded at the moment. They waited and rested there, then the officers came and took them to LA the next morning.
Angel stared at them. "How in the hell?"
"I lost my temper," Xander said dryly. "By the way, something was pretending to be Fred?" He stomped off. "Guys, bathrooms are *this* way!" he shouted. The slaves ran to get them first. Xander, Ryan, Danny, and the other fighters took the heavier ones downstairs for demon goo. Xander came out and found Fred waiting on him. "Hi."
"Hi." She stared at him. "How did you know?"
He grinned. "Your eyes are a different color than hers were and she didn't have your laugh, Fred." She beamed so he gave her a hug. "Clothes?"
"Sure." She handed over towels then went to break into the spare clothes stash.
Once he was clean and dry, Xander went back up to the lobby. "Sorry to impose, Deadboy. A lot of slaves though. Wanna handle them while we get back to Miami?"
"Are you going to be safe in Miami?" he asked dryly. "Because we all know you're going to be taken again."
"I'm buying more weapons on the way," he said dryly. "I have plenty of contacts who'd like me to buy their weapons. Why?"
Angel vamped out. "Because I think you could serve a better purpose here."
Xander snorted. "Yeah, right. Don't make me mess up your hair, Angel."
"I don't think so, Harris." He lunged and Xander put him onto his back, staring down at him very coldly. "How did you manage that?"
"Training with one of Ares' high priests."
One of the hunters came jogging down the stairs. "We found a portal spying on us. Are we sure we're home?"
"I'm not at the moment," Xander admitted, staring at Angel. Then he shrugged. "We'll see though, won't we?" He looked around then went to open something, making Angel scream and the realm showing them off to the potential buyers end. Xander found himself alone in a small room. He checked, no hairpins or anything. "Like that's going to stop me," he sneered. He found the doorway and blew it open, stomping out. The auctioneer cheered him on, until Xander grabbed him that was. A few of the guards tried to stop him, but oh well. He was tired. He was sore. He was also pissed again. He had more stamina than the average human from all the sex and fighting he had over the years. One unwisely carried a sword up to the stage to try to stab him but he grabbed the blade. His hand would heal, like always. The demon...didn't. The other demons didn't. One went down but was only injured. He was trying to heal. Xander threw him off the stage and went for the person who was trying to hold Ryan back. "Let him go," he ordered. The demon sneered so he let loose on him too. Ryan was freed after a few stabs. They moved to protect the others together while the crowd tried to run. It wasn't going to work but they tried really hard. Because Xander had went from pissed to madder than any Goddess on PMS without chocolate ever had been. He was so pissed it went beyond Buffy ruining clothes. It went beyond the time his hair had been cut on him. It went so far beyond anger that the room literally exploded around them.
Ryan panted, staring at his back. "Xander!" he called. "Calm down so you don't kill the people who were kidnaped!"
"Fuck them all," he said coldly, raising his hands. Ryan grabbed one then knocked him out.
Ryan looked at the mess then found where Horatio was laying with Danny next to him. He looked up. "Could use a bit of help!" he shouted. "Before he wakes up and kills us all!" Ares appeared with Apollo, who got to work on the others. Xander was chained up for now. Ares was already rubbing his forehead from the headache the berserker was giving him. He took a few people to open the other cells. The people were released and let go. The doorway was open so they ran out and hit a federal team of agents. Ryan stomped out. "Morning."
"What is that place?"
"Someone unwisely stole us to sell us," he said grimly. "One of us was a berserker with weapons skills. Pity." He walked around them. "I'll be back in a second." He grabbed something from their SUV and came back, snapping it under Xander's nose. He whined but a gentle tap to his forehead made him wake up suddenly. "Hey, it's Ryan," he said more gently. "Come on, Xander. We're free."
"Another trap," he muttered.
"No, it's not. There's Feds outside."
Xander stared at him. "It's a trap."
"No it's not," Horatio said as he walked over. "I can feel the necklaces tingling, Xander."
Ryan looked at him. "I felt my tattoo heat up last time," he muttered. Horatio shrugged at that. He pulled Xander up. "If it is we'll work our way out of it again." Xander shook his head, trying to get free but they hauled him outside with the others. Ryan looked around. "I saw Mac last time. He's not here."
Horatio looked. "There's Stella." He pushed his way over. "Stella?" She flinched, looking up at him, looking hopeful. "Where's Mac and Eric?"
"I don't know. We got separated. I was in a pen."
Horatio pulled her back to their group, using his taller height to scan the crowd. A few he almost recognized from the last dream. He watched Ryan trying to bring Xander back. "Knock him out," he ordered.
"I can't. He'll come back to this state again," Ryan complained. He looked at Horatio long enough for Xander to bite him so he could get free. "Ow! Bitch!"
Xander growled and backed off, magicing off the chains, staring him down. "Still a trap."
"No it's not," Horatio said calmly, moving forward. "It's not a trap, Xander. I promise, we're free."
Xander snorted. "No we're not." He turned and headed off. He knew about keystones. He knew what they did. He knew he could do something with them because the energy they held was like quickening energy. He found it and looked it over then put his hands on it. They heated up but he'd heal if they burned. He concentrated. No luck yet. Someone shouted, coming at him with a gun. He concentrated harder and the stone shattered under his hands. The realm shivered then seemed to twist. Xander pumped his own energy back into it, making it let everyone go. He woke up in a small stone room, barely big enough to stand up in. He looked around it and didn't find any locks or any doors. He was extremely tired now but he was still tired of this and the mind games were not helping any. He looked up. "You get a cooperative me over my dead body and I'm still an immie," he shouted. The walls seemed to shrink and he just laughed. "Not claustrophobic either." The walls continued to shrink until he barely had room to move.
So he didn't.
Then he concentrated.
He looked deep into his soul.
And there he found the pit of anger deep enough to kill everyone on the planet.
Mac looked up from where he and Eric were confined, smiling at the explosion that had just happened. Even when their room shook it was still good to them. Someone was clearly helping stop the disgusting beings. They had no idea who but it was all good to them. It went suddenly silent then cheering broke out. They groaned. The buyers were liking that performance. Another explosion, this time it rocked the floor. They sat down, watching the ceilings to make sure it wasn't going to collapse and kill Mac. Eric would wake up again later on if he died; Mac was still human. They dove for the door when it started to open, pushing the babbling thing out of their way.
There was Xander.
His hair was blowing in the breeze behind him.
He was sweating like he had the chills.
He was beyond enraged and he was the one creating the explosions.
"I didn't think he had power like that," Eric said, looking a bit awed.
"Stop him!" someone shouted.
"Fuck you!" Eric shouted back. "You deserve it if you're with them. If not, get the hell out of here!" The ones who could ran. Xander tried to stop a few but Horatio got in his way. "H!" He jogged over to take him down. "He's gone, H. He doesn't know you."
Ryan got knocked out, proving his point.
Danny walked up behind Xander, tapping him gently on the shoulder. "Can we have our boy back now? Ares probably has a really bad headache."
Xander growled. "Not yours."
"Yeah, you kinda are," Danny said. "You live with us, your ferrets live with us. Your hairpins stab us in the middle of the night. You love us most of the time." He gave him a look. "In case you didn't remember, I'm Danny. You like me." Danny was sent flying.
"Hey!" Don complained. "No boyfriend abuse, Xander!"
"Not him," he growled.
"Okay," Don said, backing off. He saw Ryan on the ground. "Hey, Delko, can't Wolfe get him out of this state?"
"Maybe if he wasn't knocked out," he said dryly, reaching over to shake him. "Ryan!"
Ryan lifted his head. "It won't work. He's gone well beyond berserking this time. Strife?" he called. "Please knock him out?"
Xander stomped off, going to growl at someone. "Fucking in their lives is Strife's job. You don't look like him." He knocked that person out and kept going.
Strife appeared, looking at the boy. "You're right, he's not me." He stared at his high priest, getting a whimper of recognition but that's all he was getting from the blank mind. "Xander, come to me," he ordered, holding out a hand. The boy growled. "No, that's Cerbie, not you." He moved closer. "Come here, Xander. We'll go somewhere safe. Somewhere you're safe." Xander tipped his head to the side. "Come on and we'll go somewhere safe so you can rest and heal." Xander let out a small whimper. "C'mon." Xander rushed him. He popped them off, taking them to Olympus for a second then to the island the boy had inherited. It was deserted. He'd be safe here. He put him down onto the grass, staring at him. "You stay on the grass or inside until someone comes, all right? No swimming." He disappeared, going back to help with the carnage. He popped in behind Stella, admiring the view for a second. "We all good?"
She turned and swatted at him. "No staring at my ass." He smirked. "We're all here. We're all bruised, a few are a bit bloody. Mac's got a headache from someone falling on him. The slavers are running. Most of the slaves are free."
Strife smirked and winked. "It'll be fine, Stella." He waved a hand at the walls and the rest of the cells came down. "There ya go. All free. All but two or three who were older slaves and went with their new masters when the hell started. Who knew Xan could pull a Rosenburg." He faded out. "Doorway's stayin' open this time. It's not a ruse." He went to check on Xander, finding him staring at the water. "I said no!" he said sharply. The boy sat, staring at him, looking confused. "C'mon. Let's go shower. You're sweaty and you need one. I'll stay until you sleep." He led the boy back to the house, putting him in the shower, thinking up some food for him. Discord appeared, giving him an odd look. "Xander's so totally gone he knocked out Ry."
"Damn," she said in awe. "He knocked out Ares too." She grinned. "Bad headaches up there." She disappeared before the boy came out. In her place was a sleeping potion. Strife grinned, pouring it into the drink he had made but masking the taste so Xander wouldn't know. Sleeping would help him. The boy peeked out of his bathroom. "I'm still here. Finish up and come eat."
"I saw that."
Strife grinned. "It's something ta help ya sleep, Xan. I'd never hurt you. You wear my marks." Xander came out naked, taking the food but not the drink. Strife sent it into his stomach anyway, then slowly and carefully soothed the boy into letting it take effect. He got him snuggled into the huge bed so he could check on the others, finding them at Angel's getting cleaned up and fed. "Hey."
Don turned, grabbing him by the arms. "Xander? Is he all right?"
"I knocked him out. He's on the island. He's still a bit lost in his head." Don relaxed. "Everyone good? Ares is knocked out too."
"We're fine, Lord Strife. Thank you all for your help," Horatio said, letting out a tired smile. "I won't protest if he buys more weapons as long as they're hidden better from everyone else."
"Good!" he said, disappearing. He could hear the Godly meeting starting. He popped in. "The slave auction's done with," he announced. "Hecate, Xander's got backlash."
"I noticed that. I had no idea he could pull that sort of energy." She rubbed her head.
"Well, he's a bit pissed," Strife said dryly. Ares wobbled in. "Xan's down. Everyone else is with Angel and his people."
"Xander's where?" he asked.
"His island. Still partially out of it."
"Go watch him sleep, Strife. Just in case. He'll have nightmares." Strife nodded, disappearing as ordered. He looked at Hera. "I really don't feel good."
"What happened?" she demanded. "All I knew was that the weave of the world twisted for a moment."
"Someone captured a lot of the anchors in Miami to sell them," Aphrodite said with a small yawn. "The main anchor proved a few times he was a berserker. Then the last time he totally dove into his soul and let it rip." She looked at Hecate. "Will he be okay? I'll try not to baby the pookie too much since it upsets him but he clearly needs some."
"He'll heal," Hecate reminded her. "They all do." She looked at Ares. "You should rest that migraine."
"I will once this is done with. Make sure the slave auction can't happen again, Cupid."
"Oh, I think Xander already did that, Pops. He so totally killed most of the buyers." He shrugged. "He was damn good. Even if he did try to attack your priest too."
Ares nodded, heading to bed to sleep since everything he could control was working itself out at the moment. That was good enough for him.
Emails happened the next morning.
//To: Gibbs <firstname.lastname@example.org>
From: Horatio Caine <email@example.com>
CC: C.oP. <firstname.lastname@example.org>
This email is to announce that Xander Harris is allowed to have weapons, no matter what the ATF thinks. We will personally be making sure they are well hidden. We will also make sure that any illegal arms dealers he buys from are arrested after the sale to him so he does not get in trouble with them.
Thank you for your support. We will be able to make it back to the office in two days if anyone has any good questions about what happened yesterday.
Horatio Caine and Mac Taylor.//
Gibbs looked at the new email then at his boys. "Xander had weapons?"
Greg stiffened. "Oh, shit," he muttered.
Gibbs stared at him. "That sounds like a guilty conscience, Sanders. What sort of weapons did he have? Beyond the ten or twelve swords I've seen pictures of and in person."
"He likes things that explode and launch to take out things." He shrugged. "Why does it matter?" Gibbs forwarded the email, making him snicker. "Um, okay. I'm wondering what happened yesterday?"
McGee looked at the news feeds. Then he put something up on the screen. "Does that look like a reason for you to be having a Xander discussion?"
Gibbs got up to stare at the newly destroyed old-style shopping center where they had found multiple dead bodies. He blinked. "Those bodies don't look normal."
"No, boss, someone photoshopped them to be human," McGee said, getting up. "See, a blue arm, a green head. A pink person," he said, pointing at that one. "Since Xander's wanted as a person of interest in that explosion I think we have an idea why."
Greg got into the same article, then read it over. "No, they updated, McGee. He's no longer wanted to talk to." He looked at him. "They decided that the slave auction had been busted up by some dissatisfied buyers instead and think that he was now one of the slaves after talking to some officers that were also there after being kidnaped from their offices."
Gibbs got back into the email.
//To: Horatio Caine <email@example.com>
From: Gibbs <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Xander is allowed to have smaller weapons but nothing that would endanger lives if it was stolen. Nothing that would cross my desk as current military issue. Nothing that would destroy more than a single building to get himself free, Caine.
Also, what really happened? The story made the news. Sanders and McGee look worried.
He looked at his two younger agents. "I wrote back to Caine. I'm sure we'll get an update from him."
"I'm wondering where Xander is since the police couldn't find him with the others," McGee said.
Greg grinned. "He's fine but they would've protected him. Remember, Xander is very skilled at saving himself. He's also got a very bad temper when people take him. As shown by the explosion radius." He flipped to a better picture. "There, raw feed." Gibbs looked then shuddered. "I'd say some people were damn lucky they took Xander and his boys this time. I'm sure he got the others free too," he said at Gibbs' odd look.
Tony strolled in with coffee. "Morning, my people." He saw the screen, whistling. "Damn. Is that our new case?"
"No, that's where Xander was at least last night," Greg said dryly, taking his coffee from the tray. "Thanks, Tony."
"Welcome, Greggy." He grinned. "He good?"
"I tried to email him, his is bouncing." He sipped his coffee while Tony read the article and update over his shoulder.
Gibbs' email beeped.
//To: Gibbs <email@example.com>
From: Horatio Caine <firstname.lastname@example.org>
CC: C.oP. <email@example.com>
Xander is allowed to have weapons, NO MATTER WHAT THE ATF OR ANY OTHER GOVERNMENT AGENT THINKS. We will be making sure they are hidden better than the ones we confiscated a few days back. We will let Xander wear out some of his less than savory contacts to make sure he gets things in good working order and if any bosses do not agree, they can come out to help clean up the mess from where Xander had to rescue all of us by losing his temper multiple times on the people who decided we would make excellent slaves to be sold. Since not even Xander's Gods could get in to help us before the last part of the rescue, we like Xander having weapons. They decided he was weak when we took the last batch; this time he can have meaner things and make it look like he was getting rid of the older stuff because it was weaker.
Thank you for your support. We will be able to make it back to the office in two days. Xander is on his island coming back to himself after having to berserk to save us all THREE times.
Argue with us and you get to save him from the next one, people. We don't want Xander to get that hurt or upset. He's got to be kicking himself.
By the way, LA has worse smog before anyone asks. Though Angel can cook; surprising skill for a vampire.
Mac Taylor and Horatio Caine.//
Gibbs calmly called an office across town. "It's Gibbs. Harris is down on his island after having to rescue himself. Caine said he's a berserker and he's healing down there. Yeah, I'd call to warn him if you're going to show up in the next few days. From what I've seen, he's just rescued himself and others from the thing in LA." He nodded. "Might be a good idea to warn them, yes." He hung up, sending that new email to Greg, who snickered. "Help him find better things."
"Sure, Gibbs. Not that I know weapons...." He gave him a look. "I'll call that hotty at the ATF who keeps hitting on me."
"Don't let her know why. They *hate* Horatio," Tony warned.
Greg snickered. "There's a lot of agents who hate Horatio for some reason." He grinned and got to work calling her to find some neat things for Xander to find and buy. He'd appreciate it.
Xander woke up to the phone, blinking at the ringing thing. He didn't know the island had phones that worked. He picked it up, putting it against his ear. "What?" he asked quietly, sounding exhausted. He blinked at the nice voice on the other end.
//Mr. Harris, this is Agent Ferngully, like the movie, with the FBI. We have warrant to check your island for more records the former owner kept. Would it bother you if we showed up this afternoon? We were warned you were feeling a bit under the weather at this time.//
"Tired," he admitted. "Don't care, don't wake me up." He hung up and snuggled back in, realizing there was a warm body behind him. He blinked at Ares. "Oops?"
"No, that wasn't an oops but it was a good, reasonable course of action, Xander. You're not in trouble. You saved a lot of lives and the only ones who died were the bad guys," he said gently, stroking over his hair. He knew that Xander's soul was still surrounding a gentle core and he hated to kill people. "Horatio has put around that you got rid of your last set of weapons because you're looking for better things. That he'll make sure you keep them hidden better as well since someone found the last stash. He said you can use all the contacts you want to buy new things." Xander nodded, putting his head back down, scooting a few centimeters closer. Ares smirked at him. "Go ahead. I know I'm a furnace of heat." Xander snuggled against his side, resting his head on his stomach. "The headache and tiredness is backlash." He created a milkshake and handed it over. "Drink that really fast so it'll help." Xander swallowed it in a few gulps then closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Ares heard the plane land and nodded. A few minutes later an agent leaned in. "He's asleep."
"Thank you. You are?"
"Ares, God of War."
"Um.... Okay," he said cautiously. Ares created a fireball. "Never mind then."
"Xander is one of my priests but he's a high priest to Cupid and Strife." That got a nod and the agent walked off. He smirked down at his boy's body. "I love the confused look they get." Another agent walked in and bowed then left. "Gotta love my former military guys too." He stroked over Xander's shoulder and hair, making him stay asleep so he could heal and rest. Backlash wasn't something immortal healing could really heal quickly. It'd be a few days instead of a few months but he still needed healing. He winced when something crashed, waking Xander up. Xander growled and went out there to beat whoever it was. The agents all begged prettily when he got there and Xander let him lead him back to bed. He tucked him in, gave him a piece of chocolate, then laid down next to him again. "We can do this for now."
Xander finished his treat, carefully putting his head back down again. "Thank you, Ares. How much trouble am I in?"
"Ryan's going to complain that you knocked him out but you were too far gone for him to bring you out." He stroked over his hair again. "You're not in trouble. Mac and Stella told them why the place had blown up and all the buyers were mostly gone. The LA police and FBI don't want to talk to you anymore. Horatio said you can have new weapons and he's told a contact of yours that the dump was because you wanted stronger things. Gibbs wants Greg to find you a list." Xander smiled a bit at that. "We'll see what we can find you, Xander." He nodded, snuggling in carefully. "Don't treat me like the bed but you can cuddle today. I know you feel miserable." Xander nodded, snuggling properly into his side, one of his legs over one of Ares' thighs "They'll be down to get you on the way home."
"Have them go home. I'll get there soon," Xander muttered.
"Sure, I can tell them that." He sent that to Ryan, making him unhappy. Oh well.
Ryan looked up from his cornflakes. "Ares said to head back to work. He's got Xander at the moment and Xander said he'd come home soon." He ate a bite of his cereal. "Which means that the agents are probably back on the island and Xander's not feeling too well."
"Oh no! If he can baby us, we get ta baby him when he's sick," Don said firmly. He called down there. "Ares, I don't care. We get to baby my boy when he feels nasty. Even if he's having painful thoughts it's our job. He does it to us!" He hung up and went back to his breakfast. "So, any idea where we're going to set up a better warehouse for Xander, Horatio?"
"The one his gun collection is in needs to move too," he admitted. "We can let him buy one if he wants and then secure it better. Between us we know enough about alarms to make sure nothing and no one gets in." Mac nodded since his mouth was full. "I would like to keep his collection smaller. Able to drive back Cuba if it comes, not the aliens when they come."
Speed gave him a look. "Aliens?"
"Well, Ryan and Xander talk to their Gods, we talk to ours. Why won't aliens come some year?" he countered. "Probably to talk to Xander."
Speed finished up quickly and hauled his boy up. "Excuse us, we have to make him sane again." He dragged his boy off to get him back on the path to sanity. Which was probably Horatio's intention for letting out that thought but he needed it.
"It's possible he's right," Eric admitted. Ryan gave him an odd look. "Have they said he's not?"
"No," he said calmly, sending that thought to Ares. The one he got back made him smile. "He said that's not Xander's job. He's got people for that when they show up." Eric moaned. "So we only have to plan to keep Orlando, telelmarketers, tele-preachers, or Cuba from invading Miami." Danny and Angel both gave him an odd look. "What? Pat Robertson wanted his people to invade Orlando and take over because they let gay people have fun. We should keep all his sort away from Miami! Eric would pout and we'd lose a lot of revenue from spring break if they took away the slutty women in bikinis or our strip and dance clubs."
Stella checked his forehead. "Are you suffering from battle fatigue or berserking yesterday?"
"No," he said with a grin. "They have called for it to be ended and have been trying to pressure colleges to not have a spring break. Especially about all our gay people. Which means that Xander would be on the front edge of that invasion."
Discord appeared, checking his forehead. "Are you sure you're not sick?" She tipped Ryan's face up. "Take Eric and go screw yourself into a nap, Ryan. Aphrodite just burst out crying at that thought." He pouted but did as ordered. She shook her head quickly, going to share that with Strife and Ares.
"It will not happen while I'm alive," Apollo announced to those still eating. "*I'd* miss the slutty women in bikinis. It will not happen or they will all die of horrible illnesses that no one but me can cure."
"Sure, we appreciate the help with that situation," Stella called. "Thanks, Lord Apollo." She looked at Mac, who was whimpering and shaking his head. "It's good we have a plan if they come, Mac."
"If they come we'll all pray really hard and let Xander dance at them," Danny said, smiling at Don, who tested his forehead. "What? It'd stop that! Probably make 'em all his love slaves or somethin' but it'd stop any preacher and his people coming to invade Miami. The aliens might be nice so we'll let them prove themselves before we sic Xan's hips o'doom on 'em."
Don stood up. "'Scuse us, the mental disease has spread." He drug Danny off to cure him too.
"It's exposure to Harris," Angel told Mac. "He drove me insane a few times too. Those who live with him would get hit worse."
Stella smirked. "Horatio and Speed live in their own house and Horatio's nephew is Xander's assistant and trouble-buddy. I'm sure Ray doesn't have those sort of thoughts." She texted Ray's phone with the thought of letting Xander handle an alien invasion. She snickered at his answer of 'funny, he doesn't look like Will Smith'. She showed it to Mac who walked off to get some semi-fresh air. The Hyperion was downtown so it was smoggy outside but it was fine with him.
Angel smirked at her. "That's mean."
"And evil. Thank you."
He walked off smiling.
"Angel, please don't get too happy. I doubt Xander's friends want to see you being all evil and stuff," Fred called after him. "Besides, I still have your leather pants hidden."
"No, we see plenty of Xander being evil now and then," Stella called. Angel gave her an odd look. "You've never seen a GHS Xander in 'destroy them for fucking with my people' mode?" He shuddered, going to hide in his room for the rest of the day. She snickered, taking the extra breakfast for herself.
Wesley came out of the kitchen. "You could've made more."
"The looks on their faces are better than the extra food," she said happily. He laughed, settling in to eat with her. "So, you knew Xander when he was simply goofy and violent?"
"A bit. He didn't let me in very deeply but I did work with him." She smiled. "You want blackmail, don't you? I don't have much."
"Oh, yes. I *so* want blackmail for the next time he's out shopping by himself and nearly gets taken. For the next time some poor normal officer has to grab him and bring him to us to protect him for a few minutes."
He smirked. "I've done some research into this GHS organization. That doesn't appear to be that unusual."
"No, but most of them go out with guards."
"Does he have any?"
"No, they won't let him hire a bodyguard."
"Perhaps they should."
"Yeah but it'd have to be someone who talked to him and loved his ferrets and baby dragon." Wesley shook his head quickly so she pulled out pictures. "That's Hubert."
He looked then stared at her. "You weren't kidding."
"Nope. He's a good, smart little guy. Thinks the ferrets are the neatest toy ever." Don walked in and grabbed something off the table. "How old is Hubert?"
"We got him as an egg if I heard right," he admitted. He looked at the picture. "He's about full lap size plus tail now." He walked off with the syrup.
Stella grinned. "He pulls out the ferrets to play with them all the time. I hope someone's taking care of them."
"Aiden is, I called," Don called back. A door slammed.
"That doesn't go there!" someone male shrieked.
Stella snickered. "Sorry."
"No, it's good to hear happy sounds here instead of fighting or healing from injury noises," he assured her. Gunn came out of his room, giving him a long look. "They're curing the thoughts of how Xander could help cure an alien invasion or an invasion by those ministers on tv who preach one thing and then do another."
Gunn grabbed some food and went back to his room, slamming and locking the door. He wasn't going to get involved in that. Xander himself was bad enough. His family was clearly insane thanks to him.
Wesley snickered. "He'll be fine when he finishes waking up." He patted her on the hand. "The year I got there, Xander had done some truly stupid things. Hunting alone comes to mind."
"He wasn't supposed to. He wasn't very well trained back in those days."
"True but how bad could it have been?"
"He nearly got staked on his own stake once. I know one night he got knocked out and left in a cemetery." She shuddered. "We're very lucky we didn't have him turned. Though I did hear about the wish incident that created an alternate universe with a vampire him in it. He was truly a very mean and evil sort." She leaned forward, she hadn't heard that story.
to part 48: