Familial Duty

Speed looked up from his morning off when he heard the flapping of wings, getting up to let the owl inside.  He took the letter from it and let it have a few pieces of owl treats, watching it fly off again.  He read the message and shrugged, sending a text message to Horatio to see what he wanted to do about it, turning around to find someone standing behind him.  "Don't do that, Alex.  Next time someone would shoot you."

"Sorry."  He shrugged, giving him a look.  "So, son.  We have to do the bonding this weekend," he said, putting an arm around his shoulders to walk him back to the couch.   "Then we have to do the family duties to the catacombs.  Then we've got the auction Sunday night so the entire family will be there.  That way you get to know which aunts to duck and run from."

"Small issue.  Eric and I are both on this weekend.  Tony hasn't made it home in four days thanks to his new case and Danny's got call this weekend too."  Alex moaned, hanging his head.  "Sorry, man."

"Okay, give me a second."  He pulled out his cellphone, tapping it with his wand.  "Gruinth."  The goblin's head spun into view over his screen.

"What is that?" Speed demanded.

"Theoretical floo application," he said with a smug look.  He looked at the goblin, who wasn't looking pleased.  "They've all got to work."

"Two weekends from now would probably be better," Speed offered, thinking at his other selves.  They all agreed that it should be fine, cases willing.  He looked at his buddy.   "They said cases willing two weekends from now would be best."

"Okay, we can schedule that," Gruinth agreed.  "Not like your next auction will have a lot of the backed up materials in it."  Alex gave him a look.  "Truthfully.  Now, what am I on?"

Alex beamed and closed the cellphone, cutting him off.  "Okay, schedule that weekend off, get us Abby as well if you can.  Harry's moping, again."  He stood up.  "Then we'll do the formal bonding and all that crap."  He grinned wickedly and disappeared.

Speed looked up.  "I can't get in trouble, Alex," he said quietly.  "H would skin my ass if I did."  He picked up his book again, going back to reading it.  Though he did type in a message to Eric about the time off.  That way someone could figure out how to take half their team off for the weekend.


Danny moaned and put down his head.   "Mac," he said quietly.  Mac looked over from his table.  "Two weekends from now?   Alex's?"


"Family stuff, auction, those things."  He looked at him.  "Abby for Harry."

Mac smiled.  "They're perpetually cute," he agreed.  "If we can, Danny."

"I have to."

"Point.  If the rest of us can, if not as many of us as can will go with you."  That got a smile and a nod.   "Good.  Anything else?"

"Apparently Horatio's brother sent a message to Speed about going back to where he had been."  He got back to work.  He sent a soothing thought at Speed, getting back a mental swat since he was engrossed in his book.  Tony's mind broke in and whimpered so they both sent cuddles at him, making him feel better.  Their new case was driving him insane.


Tony looked up from his typing.  "Boss, two weekends from now, us, Abby, Alex's.  Family stuff," he said, going back to his typing.  "I still can't find them, boss."

"What did Alex want?"

Tony looked at him.  "Family auction stuff.  Mostly family stuff with the auction of the catacombs to get it out of the way.  Figuring out which aunts are the scary ones, the rest of the family will be in.  Harry's moping over Abby again."

"The usual then?"

"And some fun stuff.  We've got to talk about the family stuff and bond into it.  That stuff.  Speed'll be all over the catacombs all weekend probably."

"That's fine.  All of us?"

Tony shrugged and sent an email to Harry.  "I'll find out."  He got one back from Ron, making him grin.  "Ron said if that's what we wanted but the main house would have all the scary bastards and aunts.  We'll have Sev and Holly plus our group.  Alex's other kid and her family will be at the manor house instead of the castle.  Way too many of them."  Gibbs nodded.  "Then maybe we'll see Harry make a bigger move."

Gibbs let out a small smile.  "Then we'd see a bouncy, frantic Abby."

"I'm sure they can handle a sudden move from Harry to Abby, boss," he offered with a grin.   "Remember, they'll have to marry in the ballroom.  It's family tradition.  The same as he'll have to lay some of the family's bedding in their marriage bed so any kids are conceived in it."  McGee gave him an odd look.  "The ones who weren't went evil, McGee."

"Oh.  Okay."  He just nodded.  "Think she'd wear some soft, fluffy, lacy thing?"

"Abby?" Gibbs snorted.  "It'd be black velvet knowing her."

Tony's head suddenly popped up and he snickered.  "Not necessarily."  He wrote someone else an email then got back to work.  "Boss, they're not in any database that we can hit.  International or US.  It's got to be a pseudonym."  He typed in the name, looking at it.  Then he sighed and started the various ways it could've been switched around, starting with name order.  "Huh," he said a few minutes later.  He looked at his boss.  "If we switch middle name to last name and first name to middle, then last to first, take off the third, we get one of her former coworkers, boss."  He came over to look, smirking some.  "Think we can start with him?"

"Let's start there," he agreed, walking off.  Tony and McGee rushed to follow him.  They had a missing coworker and Ziva was not getting out of this on her own.


Alex landed at the manor house, looking around.  "We're doing two," he announced into the kitchen.  "The other family can't get up here for two weekends from now.  Blame the work stuff."  He disappeared again before anyone could complain.

Aunt Cordy huffed.  "That boy!" she shrieked.  She went to call the family in New York.  Surely someone would answer the floo.  Don did.  "Donald, we are having a family meeting this weekend to do many things.  You will be here?" she demanded.

He slowly shook his head.  "Nope.  I'm on this weekend for cases, Aunt Cordy.  Danny, Mac, and I are on all weekend, Stella's got Saturday off for a friend's wedding."  She pouted.  "Sorry!  Working is like that."  He shrugged and disappeared, turning off their floo.  Then he went back to bed.  That way he didn't have to talk to any more scary aunts.  His own were bad enough and he was still avoiding his mother.  Something landed on the bed beside him with a bow.  He grabbed it and looked at the small cellphone.  "Huh."  He undid the ribbon, flipping open the cover.  A note fell out and he looked at it.  "Floo and cellphone.  Damn I know some smart people," he said with a small smile.   He called Alex on it.  "It's me.  I've got to work this weekend.  Stella's off Saturday for a friend's wedding but the rest of us are on."

Alex's head finally popped up.  "Needs to charge.  That's fine.  Two weekends from now we're doing it again.  Most of the family, all the scary ones, getting rid of some of the stuff that Draco hates in the catacombs."  He shrugged.  "Bonding the new sons into the family."  Don grinned at that even though the picture wavered.  "Recharge it.  Your usual cord should work.  Tell me if you figure out how to three-way the floo and a regular call."  He grinned.  "It's still experimental."  His head disappeared.

Don shut the top and got up to find his charging cord, sticking it onto it.  Then he went back to bed, sending a warm, fuzzy thought to Danny about that.


Danny jumped up, looking at Stella.  "Damn it!" he muttered, walking off.  He ran into Mac in the hall, pulling him out of the way.  "Alex managed to put the floo on a cellphone," he muttered in his ear.  "He sent Don one.  It's charging."

"Really?"  He considered that.  "That could have a lot of uses," he decided.  "I can see a lot of uses, especially in the field."  He smiled at Danny.  "We'll check it out tonight after we get off."  He patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you."  He went on and Danny went back to work.

Stella gave Danny a 'well' look.  "Alex came up with a new phone design so you don't have to be beside the fire at his house to use it."

She decoded that mentally then smiled at him.  "Really?"  He nodded.  "So can we call Aiden that way tonight?"

"If it works," he agreed, shrugging a bit.  "Don's back in bed but Alex gave it to him to test."

"Very cool."  She handed him a sample.  "Run that for me?"

"Of course."  He settled in to go back to work.


Tony looked up, looking thoughtful.  "I want that toy," he complained.  He got back to work.

"What toy?" McGee asked.

"It's experimental, something Alex was apparently working on.  It solves ye olde fireplace sitting problems."

McGee frowned at him.  "Really?"  He nodded.  "How?"  Tony tapped his phone.  "Okay, *that* one I want to see in action.  Can you get a sample?"

"Don has one.  It's charging."

"Hmmmmmmmm," he hummed.  "Maybe Abby?"

"Maybe."  He got back to work.  The geeks would find a way for him to play with the new toy.  He sent that at Speed, getting a pet on the head, then a swat.  Though he did share his memories of it.  It was a neat new toy.  Alex had some of the best toys ever.  He should pout.

Gibbs looked over.  "DiNozzo, you can play with whatever toy it is later.  Did you find anything?"

Tony looked at him.  Then at his computer.  Then back at him.  "The coworker's name isn't real.  His social security number is fake and belongs to someone who survived the Holocaust, who used to live in Albany, and his address is in the middle of the Potomac, boss."

"What about in person?"

"I called, boss, he's out today," McGee defended.  "That's why I let Tony do his home address before we went out.  Something seemed hinky to me but I don't know that area very well yet."


"Already done," both males said in unison.

Gibbs just nodded.  "Do what you can."

"Still trying, boss," Tony promised, getting back to work.  Speed sent an absent idea and he found the map and crystal in his desk, going over to Ziva's to find something of hers.  Then he went to work in the elevator.  He came out with a block and Gibbs smirked.  "It's as close as I can get it."

"Address?" McGee asked, pulling up a map program.  Tony let him have it.  "We have.... four abandoned buildings on one side.  We have twelve apartments on another, there's a small building in the middle of the block behind all the squares' sides, and we have mostly empty buildings on the other sides.  One very old restaurant."

"That's a good place to start," Tony decided, grabbing his gun and bag.  "C'mon, Probie.  We'll scout and call, boss."

"Good."  He watched them go, smirking a bit.  Sometimes the magic stuff was handy.


Draco was having a pouting day so he went back over one of his old school journals, frowning when he read over something.  "Emilia and I dream talked?" he muttered.  He got up, going to find Alex in the library.  "Emilia and I dream talked back in school?"

"Yeah, right before she activated you," Alex said absently.  Draco pinched him, earning a frown.  "Why?"

"My mother?"

"Could work but I have no idea how it happens.  You'd have to ask her."

"I can do that.  I'm heading to their place."  He called first then headed through the floo.  He rolled out and dusted himself off, looking at his cousin.  "We dream talked back in school?"  She nodded slowly.  "Mother?"

"I hadn't even thought about that," she admitted, frowning a bit.  "We can work on it.  'San, help him dust off, dear."  She brought her feather duster over to dust him off, earning a smirk.  "She's in a cleaning mood."

"I can see that.  The twins?"

"Hiding.  She dusted them until they crawled off and hid with Night."

"Your house elf is very protective," he said dryly, coming over to work on it with her, letting Cassandra keep dusting him for now.  If it made her happy he wasn't going to complain.  Even when the dust started to float off his arms for her to sweep at in midair.  She smiled and walked it off to put back into the fireplace, shaking off her duster to make it flow back into the small opening.  "She's good."

"She is," she agreed happily.  She found the reference books they'd need, sitting down next to her cousin to teach him how to dream walk.


The Banes decided to hold a conference.  They were generally feeling bored at the moment.  Draco and Emilia were busy, Alex Dumass was reading and some of them could hear him muttering it in their heads thanks to the communications charms they wore.  It was not amusing them at the moment.  Finally one of them yelled that they didn't need a bedtime story now, but to try back in a few hours to make sure.  Alex's answer of 'let me know when' and a smutty thought about a bedtime story of him and Draco made most of them laugh.  It was not boring being bonded to Dumass by any means.

They decided a group project was in order so they headed to the castle, those that were off.  Alex always had new things to see, touch, play with, or make them unbored quickly.  Alex gave them an odd look.  "Bored," Tipsy reminded him.

He looked behind him at the library then at them.  "Read something."

"Not that bored," Greg complained.  He went to browse the books, finding Alex's Books of Fleshly Sins as the section was now titled by, it looked like, Ron.  He started to flip through the one nearest at hand, the one for the year before his birth.  "We could play 'Six Degrees of Separation' out of this," he realized.  He found a few other surnames he knew.  "Hey, Tipsy, he slept with a Ramvette."

Tipsy came over to look over his shoulder.  "That's my aunt.  Alex, you slept with my aunt who hates being touched?" she demanded, turning to look at him.

"Apparently," he said dryly but absently.  He was back in his book.  "As long as I'm not the reason she hates to have people touch her, I don't mind."

Tipsy groaned and gathered the others who had come, plus the books around their birth years.  It was more fun that way.  They decided to take them to the sitting room off the ballroom.  It was comfortably shabby in there. There were plenty of seats.  The house elves were more than happy to bring anything they wanted to drink or eat.  They settled in with the books, flipping through them.  Tipsy realized a few things.  "We can connect nearly any woman of sexual age to Dumas.  We could use this very easily in any game of real life six degrees."

Greg smirked.  "Anyone else wonder if there's more hidden Dumass kids?"

The others grabbed the books to start going through. Greg found one that made him frown.  "He slept with my mother?"

Nick Boyle looked over his shoulder.  "By the codes next to her name, he broke her in, Greg.  Huh.  Maybe we should test you to see if you're a Dumass by birth?"  he teased.

Greg looked at him.  "I look too much like my father."  He went back to reading, finding a few he expected.  "Hmm, he did get that princess."  Tipsy gaped so he let her see it.  The twin that had come with her instead of running the joke shop gaped at the entry.  "We never knew who she had gotten stuck on."

"Hopefully it was someone after him," Tipsy complained, looking at the date.  "No, she slept with him trying to get rid of her veela infatuation."  They all sighed in relief.  That would have been a scandal that could've given them all nightmares when people came to hunt Alex down for debauching the young Princess.  Tipsy sat up suddenly.  "Greggy, what was Tony's mother's name?"

He leaned over.  "I think she was an Amelia.  Why?"

She pointed at one entry.  "Isn't that..."

"Damn, she was with him," Greg agreed.  He called Tony the mundane way.  "What's your birthday?  Because we're in Alex's books of sin."  He listened then looked at it.  "Perhaps you were born about two weeks early?  Because Alex slept with an Amelia Doorhoven in September the year before you were born."  He smirked at the yelling.  "Sure, come over when you're done."  He hung up.  "He'll be over later."

Nick took Greg's book to look at the entry for his mother.  Then he looked at Greg and did the paternity charm they had been taught by Philip.  It came up and Nick blinked then looked at Tipsy, who stared.

"There's no way that's right," Greg complained, looking at it.  He got up to get a swab from Alex and then went back to his job so he could run them.  His boss gave him an odd look when he came in.  "Alex slept with my mother.  I'm making sure I'm not a Dumass by birth.  Before I have worse problems than Nick."  He kept going, ignoring the questioning looks.  He ran the test himself then sent a thought back at the family when it came out a few hours later.

Alex looked up from his reading, frowning.  "No you're not.  I may have tainted you but you're not mine, Greg. You don't get into enough trouble and you're good in potions."  He went back to reading.  This was a really interesting book and Draco had wanted him to read it with him.

Severus Snape walked in and looked at his biological father.  "Did we perhaps have other accidents?" he asked dryly.

"No," he said, looking up at him.  "But there is the chance that I could have tainted them."


Alex got up and grabbed a book, handing it over.  "A more powerful wizard can taint the offspring of another one by having sex while his offspring is in-utero.  It's been a well known fact for decades."

"I think that was disproved," he said cautiously, looking at the book.  He frowned as he flipped through the index.  Then he looked at his father.  "This was disproven nearly thirty years ago, Alex."

"Then someone last year reproved it."  He handed over another two books. "It's been a well known fact for a very long time.  Even if someone decided that DNA overrode it there's still power corruption."  Greg reappeared, scowling.  "What?"

"You came up as my father."

Alex pulled out his wand and cast a very old paternity charm.  "There, I'm the one who tainted you into being a wizard, Greg.  Teach Sev how we reproved it."  He walked off, going back to his comfy reading chair and his book.

Greg snatched it to read over, frowning at it.  McGee walked in the door looking confused.  "How did you get here?"

"Tony sent me.  He's pouting."

Alex looked over at him.  Then he pointed at the books the two potions masters were holding.  "Take those to Tony, McGee.  Then remind him that he doesn't look at all like me.  Even Sev looks somewhat like me in the right light."

"He gets into the same sort of trouble you do," Greg taunted with a smirk.

"That's why I'm adopting the trio, dear.  Now, go be a good boy before I compel you to tell your mother that you know me and remind her that she was pregnant while she slept with me."  Greg shuddered and pulled Sev off with McGee to talk to Tony about these theories.

Tipsy came down the stairs a few minutes later, giving him a hug. "At least you only slept with my aunt," she offered, making him smile.  "Where's Draco?  He's not in your lap or fussing at the house elves that we've heard.  It's unusual to not see you having smutty husband thoughts."

He smirked.  "He went to see Emilia because he realized he might be able to contact his mother via dream walking."

"Ah, one of those scary veela skills.  We'll be waiting to see if he comes to visit mine for smutty thoughts of my boys."  She went back upstairs, going to tell the others and see if he was connected that closely to any of the other Banes.  Fortunately they couldn't find any other mothers but a few fathers had shown up.


McGee handed Tony the books.  "Alex said to remind you don't look a thing like him and that theory was reproven a few years back.  Greg's doing it for his own peace of mind too."  He went back to his seat.  "Sorry, boss, but panicking Tony made me go."

"Where?" he asked as he walked over and sat down.

Tony looked over at him.  "Apparently Alex slept with my mother about eight months before I was born."  Gibbs looked confused at that.  "I was born at eight months and a week, Gibbs."

Gibbs snickered.  "You don't look a thing like him but it would explain why you're such a playboy."

"Probably why I get so many women too," he muttered, settling in to read the books he had been sent.   He called Speed to talk to him and Danny over their private bond, getting petted by Speed while Danny pointed out how it had always been proved before.  They could test Tony to see if that was right in his case.  If so, then they were safe.  If not, there was a very good reason why Tony and his soul-bound mates were being brought into the family.  Though why he hadn't heard about this before he wasn't sure.  He decided to write his mother a nice, mocking letter to make her scream at someone else for a change.  That way she'd leave him alone for a few more weeks.  He wrote it and sent it to his owl at home with a swish of his wand and a muttered banishing charm.  Then he got back to work on his reports.  He really hated to do paperwork but someone had to do it and it had been his job that had helped.


Draco found his mother later that night, in America, in Boston.  He walked into her dream, frowning at her.  "Mother, are you perhaps in trouble?" he asked dryly.

"No, Draco."  She gave him a hug and a smile.  "I'm not.  Why do you ask?"

"Your portkey was stolen and rendered unfindable."  He gave her a look.  "The goblins have you listed as being missing and presumed dead, Mother."  She frowned at that.  "Frown lines."  She cleared it up.  "Anyway, do you need a rescue or are you satisfied with living in the wilderness frontier over here?"

She gave him a look.  "Boston is not the wilderness, Draco darling."

"Mother, the Americans aren't even smart enough to have a Ministry," he retorted.   She rolled her eyes.  "Fine, you'll be seeing me tomorrow."  He turned and stomped off.  He woke up and shoved Alex.  "She's in Boston."

"Hmm.  Long traveling time to ancient families," he said, sounding half asleep.  "Near the Salem academy."

"True.  We should go rescue her," he noted patiently, knowing his mate would agree when he woke up and remembered.

"Sure.  Let me sleep then we'll go be shiny knights."  He snuggled in better and smiled when Draco curled around him.  "Better."

"Night, love," Draco said, smoothing a hand through his hair to keep his poor boy asleep for a while longer.


Alex landed them on the proper doorstep, frowning at it.  "I know this putz.  He had a few of the family's portraits too."  He pounded on the door, getting the owner, who did not look pleased to see him.  "You have my mother-in-law hostage?" he demanded, walking in, Draco calmly following him.

"Now see here!  You can't come in here like that and make absurd demands."

Draco glared at him.  "Veelas can dream walk," he said simply.  He went pale.  "Now, where is my mother?  Before I help my loving mate destroy everything that you've ever wanted out of life and everything you and your family owns?"  The man opened his mouth.  "Ah!" he ordered, pulling his wand.  "My mate is a champion dueler and he has filled in what gaps my father left.  Now, where is my mother?  This is the last time I ask...politely."

Alex looked at his husband.  "You know, you're scarily turning into your father, Draco, love."

"Take that back!"  He swatted at him.  "Just for that, no sex tonight."

"That's fine, I'll go clean more things in the storage cavern."  He shrugged and smirked at the man.  "Let me reintroduce myself.  My name is Alexander Mikal Dumass and this is my husband, Draco Malfoy-Dumass."  The man went very pale.  "Now, where is Narcissa?"

"She's asleep."

"Held that way or not?" he asked coldly.  The man turned and ran.  "Fine, we'll do this *my* way then."  He pointed his wand at a nearby fireplace.  "American Auror's Association!"  A head popped up immediately and opened his mouth.  "Do not start!" he snapped.  "The owner of this residence has kidnaped my mother-in-law and is keeping her drugged at the very least we suspect.  Your choice is me destroying Boston for this insult or not."  He shut off the floo and by the time he had counted to twenty there were three aurors on the doorstep ready to rip the house apart for him.

"I think she's upstairs," Draco said, handing over something.  "That's from her hairbrush."  They nodded and tracked her with it, finding her unconscious on a bed.  He walked in when they motioned him up there.  "Mother," he sighed, checking her over.  "She's being held asleep?"

"Apparently," the lead auror agreed.  "How did she get here?"

"He kidnaped her portkey," Draco said grimly.

"I didn't think that was possible," one said, looking confused.

"Voldemort managed it a few times," Alex said, leaning on the door frame.    "Our Ministry knows how it happened.  She was heading for the Hamptons, Draco?"

Draco nodded.  "We have a vacation home there.  She thought it quaint and charming since it only has ten bedrooms and three house elves."

The aurors nodded at that.  "We'll send her to the nearest healer, sir."  He glanced at Alex.  "Gringotts will be notified?"  Alex nodded once.  "Thank you.  There's a good hospital by Cambridge, we'll bring her there."

"Thank you for you assistance," Draco said, shaking his hand.  "Do whatever you want with the slimebucket downstairs before I do something drastic when I lose my temper.  We'll be amused no matter how much you torture him."  He smiled sweetly.  "Mother might even cheer."  He followed the two taking her down to portkey in with her.

Alex smirked at the last one.  "He's also stolen from my family in the past," he noted dryly.  "This is the second time I've seen him.  Draco is a bit upset with him over this as well.  His mother's been missing now for nearly a year."

"We'll handle him, Mr. Harris."

"Dumass," he corrected.  "Harris was who they put me under as to protect me as I regrew."  The man shuddered.  "Exactly.  And I didn't even have access to my magic until that reunion."  He smirked as he walked out.  "The auror wants to talk to you," he called in a sing-song voice as he walked out.

The auror pulled himself back together again and went to interrogate the nice senator.   Something was going to have to stop him before Alex did legitimately destroy Boston in defense of his family and their things.  Because he had no doubt the boy could, would, and then would dance on the ashes of most of Massachusetts.


Alex landed in the local version of Gringotts, grinning already when a goblin gave him an evil look.  "We found Narcissa Malfoy."


"Forcefully kept asleep in the same house that I had to rescue some portraits from."  The goblin moaned.  "I called the aurors association.  They're keeping me from destroying Boston."  He grinned sweetly.  "Can you please pass that back to London's branch?  I've got to keep my mate from fussing over his mom."  He disappeared again, going to stop Draco from ranting at the nurses who weren't giving him any information.  "Dear, it does take them a bit to figure out what's going on and how best to help her," he soothed, leading him to the waiting room.  "I'm sure they'll know something in a half an hour.  Then we can come start to threaten and yell again."  He nodded, his lips pressed tightly together, but did let himself be sat and held and comforted so he'd calm down a bit.  "I'm sure she'll be just fine, love," he soothed.  "Narcissa's a strong woman if she survived your father for so many years."  He nodded, curling up against his side. "That's my good boy," he soothed, stroking his side.

"Alex, we're in a bloody hospital.  No sex in hospitals."

"Wasn't even considering it."  He grinned at the nurse who was giving them horrified looks.  "It would calm him down.  Has anyone used that one new ritual spell to make men fertile yet?  I heard someone over here had."

She walked off whimpering.  "Someone made a spell so men can get knocked up?" she asked her supervisor.

"Someone British did it so older wives didn't have to endanger their health," she said grimly.  "Why?"

"The one who calmed down the yelling blond asked if we had seen the person who did it."

"Ah.  No, he's in DC."  She went to glance out there, going pale.  "Mr. Dumass?"  Alex grinned at him.  "You're here with Mrs. Malfoy?"

"She's my mother-in-law.  This is my snookums Draco Malfoy-Dumass.  Is there any word yet?" he asked with a gentle smile.

"Let me check," she promised. "I know how much curse breakers hate to be in hospitals."  She went jogging up the hall to tell the doctor that.  "Her son-in-law is a cursebreaker."  He gave her a horrified look.  "He's Dumass!"

"We'll have information for them within the next ten minutes and we may be able to switch her somewhere closer to home by tonight," he told her.  "I'll be there soon."  She nodded, going to tell him that.  He knew the rules of cursebreakers very well.  If they were in a hospital you had better have someone like Mediwitch Pomfrey on hand that scared them all or you had better have plans to rebuild.  Cursebreakers didn't wait very well.  Nor did they do medical care very well.  Making them do both together had caused major renovations at many hospitals all over the world.  That's why Gringotts had to send most of them to Mediwitch Pomfrey, they had to rebuild a few hospitals and hated the expense.  He finished his exam and walked out, smiling at the intact condition of his waiting room. "Cursebreaker Dumass?"  Alex smiled and nodded.  "And this is Mrs. Malfoy's son?"

"I am," he agreed.  "How is my mother?"

"She's been potioned fairly heavily.  She'll be waking up naturally in about six hours."  He sat across from them.  "Forcing her to wake up sooner could warp her body a bit and would lead to longer term care.  It appears she's taken no harm from her sedation."  Draco relaxed and nodded, smiling a bit.  "The only real question I have is do you want to keep her here or in England?  I know the family Dumass lives over there."

"Will the aurors need a statement from her?" Alex asked.  "I didn't think to check."

"If they do, they can call.  They knew who you were," Draco reminded him.  That got a nod.  "We can take her home, just let her rest?"

Alex gave him a squeeze.  "We'll bring her to the manor house, letting the aunts have someone to fuss over for a bit.  How about that, Draco?"  He beamed and nodded.  It'd get them off their case for a bit.  He looked at the doctor.  "Would that be acceptable?"

"Perfectly, as long as someone was there to watch over her," he agreed with a relieved smile.  He didn't want them to have to wait there.  He liked his waiting area.  "Did you want to arrange the portkey now?"

"We can move her our way," Draco assured him, getting a nod from Alex.  "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're more welcome.  Let me get the paperwork for you, boys.  It'll be about another twenty minutes."  He went to do that, letting Draco sign things while Alex prepared his mother-in-law to head home with them.  They all left together and all the nurses breathed a sigh of relief.  Their hospital was still intact.  It was cause for celebration.  Even when the aurors came in and they had to tell them they had sent her home to rest.  They understood why.  They had seen the damage cursebreakers could do.


Alex landed and caught Narcissa before she could fall from her levitated perch.  "Aunts!" he bellowed.  They came running.  "She was kept sedated for most of the time she was gone.  The doctor said she'd be up and around in about six hours.  She needs someone to take care of her until she's able to be on her own again.  Can you?"

"Of course!" Aunt Nadia said, swatting him before she and a few others took Narcissa up to a guest suite.

Aunt Cordy took the paperwork from the hospital.  "That was a quick trip," she said, looking up to find them both gone.  She smirked.  "Think this gets you out of nagging, do you?  Not hardly," she called.  She headed up the stairs.  "It only took them twenty minutes to check her over and discharge her.  Apparently they've seen Alex at that hospital before."  The aunts laughed at that and decided what to do to keep her comfortable until she was ready to wake up on her own and then how to start to feed her again.  She'd have to have soup for the first few days.  Though, they had been a bit bored....


Alex leaned on the half-door into the kitchen at the burrow.  "We found Narcissa," he said.

Molly dropped the plate she was washing, then swore under her breath and fixed it with her wand.  "Is she all right?"

"Kept sedated.  She's at the manor house."  She smiled at that.  "Is Ron hiding?"

"Of course.  Bill's up, Alex."

"Ah.  No wonder.  Good, tell him to come clean out his storage area before Draco protests some more.  He's getting fussy about those sort of things and Bill should have his own storage area by now."

"I will.  They're out by the pond.  How is Draco taking it?"

"We're letting the aunts fuss so they quit nagging us," he said dryly, giving her a look.   She laughed and shook her head so he grinned sweetly.  "Is Harry hiding with them too?"

"The last I knew he was but he had practice in about an hour."

"That's fine.  I got the goblin-gram saying that they wanted to have me clean out a few other artifacts that were being reclassified as dangerous.  Since we were working on it together and that's really an apprentices job...."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon to help you some more, Alex."

He grinned.  "I love apprentices.  They make good pack mules too.  Did Ron tell you how heavy his last pack was?"

She laughed.  "Behind you?"

"Both of them.  Bill was complaining about being a pack mule too."  He looked at them.  "The goblins want to reclassify some things.  Bill, Draco said to get your shit out of his way, it'd dusty and nasty, and gee, Ron.  Looks like you're the only apprentice available."

"Don's not busy," he complained, grimacing some.  "What's wrong with Draco this time?  Too sore for sex?"

"We found his mother.  The aunts are taking care of them so they quit nagging us."

"So we're hiding?" Bill suggested dryly, smirking at him.

"Hell yes!  Once she wakes up they'll all go back to nagging for grandchildren."  He rolled his eyes.  "Coming, apprentices of mine?"  He grinned sweetly.

"Fine," Bill agreed.  "I could use some more ready cash anyway.  Mum, we'll try to be back for dinner."  They headed back to the castle together, him letting Ron do the camp moving spell to make sure he could do it properly.  He was almost impressed.  His baby brother did good work with this stuff.  "What are we reclassifying?"

"The new stuff's in the study."  He summoned it and the artifact books, handing Bill his.  "Here.  I think you got some interest and one of the statues was having baby statues."  He went to his own personal one to hunt out what the goblins had wanted back, sighing in displeasure about how far back things were buried.

Bill smirked at Ron.  "Don't have your own yet?"

"I have a small one with Harry.  Want me to call Flack?"

"Sure!  The more the merrier.  We'll make it an indexing party or some such."  He clapped him on the back, going to look at his pregnant statues.  He'd never seen one give birth before but the little gold elephant was pushing out a baby gold elephant.  "Huh."  He ran a checking spell over it but they both seemed healthy enough to him.   Don walked in with a mug of coffee.  "Tired?"

"First day off in three weeks," he admitted.  "What's up?"

"Goblins are reclassifying and we're all hiding from the nagging coming up since they just found Narcissa.  Plus Draco's on an anti-dust rant."

"Ah, again," he said, going to help Ron in his and Harry's cave for a bit.  He could do his own later.  "Hey, Alex, you ever figure out if Tony's yours?" he yelled a few minutes into the boring task.

"I tainted him, he's not mine," he called back.

"Didn't you say the same thing about Snape?" Ron yelled.

Alex walked in, scowling at him. "I did not!"

"Then do a paternity test that would tell that.  Just so Tony can quit angsting about it.  He sounds like a teenage girl trying to decide if she's having sex with her half-brother or not."

"Eww," Alex said, going to do that.  It was a better waste of his time than indexing.  He was scowling when he landed behind them in the field, doing the charm before anyone realized he was there.  "Well, shit," he said, making everyone stare at him.  "Sorry, Tony."

"Not your fault, Alex."  He looked at him.  "Tainted, right?"

Alex shook his head slowly.  "But the good news is that you and Sev and the other daughter get along pretty well," he said with a grin before disappearing again.

Tony hung his head and moaned, shaking it some.  "Boss, I've got a headache."

"It explains why you've dated so many women," McGee quipped.  "With his reputation, you'd either follow or be a monk."

Tony glared at him.  "I slept with mine for totally different reasons, Probie.  Thanks anyway."  Gibbs patted him on the back then smacked him hard on the head. "Thanks, boss, needed that.  Where was I before I had that momentary blackout and nightmare?"

"Mapping," he ordered.  Tony nodded, getting back to it.  He'd yell at Alex for doing that in the open during a case later on.  It was mean to his poor agent.  McGee's phone rang so he watched him answer it quietly and listen then hang up and clear his throat.  "New information on the case?"

"We're to thank Alex for being such a good hand at waiting and not destroying Boston.  The aurors thought it was very decent of him to call them instead of destroying all of Boston to get his mother-in-law back from the senator.  They said it was also nice he managed to wait at the hospital without destroying it.  They wanted to thank him for using normal people manners while he was in America again."

Gibbs looked at Tony.  "Huh?"

"Cursebreakers loathe hospitals or being sick.  They tend to get bored easily and a bored curse breaker tends to unravel or break things, boss," he said dryly.  "Sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it, it just happens around them."

"So that's why you sneak out when you get hit in the head," McGee said happily.

"Bite me," Tony told him, glaring a bit.  He looked at Gibbs.  "For the destroying Boston part?  If someone up there had her, then that's his thing and he was probably going to.  Pity about all the history and all but it was nice he called in officials instead of dealing with it himself."  He got back to work.  "I wonder if he's sick," he finally muttered.  "Nice, patient, and only threatening Alex?"  He shook his head.  He had to be sick.  Otherwise they'd be hearing reports of an earthquake or something that had taken out most of the Boston area on the news.

Gibbs drank the last of his coffee and got back to work.  He had no idea Alex was worse than a platoon of Marines on their first leave during Basic Training all by himself.  He'd have to remember that in case it came up during an assault.


Harry took the letter from the Ministry owl, giving it a treat before it flew off.  He opened it then looked at Alex.  "You've went up again."

He snatched it to read over, then giggled and handed it to Draco.  "I like being that scary."

Draco read it out loud.  "In recognition for keeping British and American diplomacy uncomplicated and ignoring the natural urges of your career, we, the Ministry of the British Empire, do hereby award you the third order of Merlin."  He looked at his mate.  "Excuse me?"

"I was a second order guy," he said then he shrugged a bit.  "But that was very nice of them."  He grinned.

"Dear, run, before I paddle you," Draco said.  Alex just grinned. "I mean it."  Alex got up and ran off to the stables, Draco taking a deep breath and a last sip of his tea before standing up.  "Excuse me but I think my mate is slightly insane again.  I need to do something about that."  He walked outside, going to hunt him down and beat his ass until he begged, then screw it until he pleaded.  That should help at the very least.  Because he knew he wasn't going to be able to cure him.

Bill looked at the letter, then nodded. "Yup, signed by the Minister for Magic and all that.  It's official.  That's even better than mine for not destroying the school when I came back to handle something a few years back."  He put it down and went back to eating.

"Don't other people have to do major things to get those?" Harry asked.

"For us, not destroying the hospital *is* major," Bill assured him.  "It shows how much control he has over his powers."  He ate another bite.  "We should celebrate tonight."

"They're probably having sex to celebrate it already," Ron said dryly, calling the others over the Banes' bond to let them know.  He got a lot of horrified moments of silence but a few did giggle and laugh at that.   The rest, well, they'd have a better night after the hangover tomorrow.  They knew what Alex was like before they let him into the group.


Abby walked up to where Tony and Gibbs were working on the current case, leaning against Tony's arm.  "I heard from Harry."  He grinned at her.  "Alex got given the third order of Merlin for not destroying the hospital when they found Draco's mom."  He slowly started to shake his head.  She nodded.  "Harry said that other people have to do major things to get those."

"It's like our Congressional Medals of Honor," he told her.  "He got one for not destroying a hospital?"

"Ron told him for cursebreakers that was momentous, especially when they had to wait too."  She grinned.  "So you'll have something new to talk about with your dad when you go over for my wedding in six weeks."

"Six weeks?" Tony asked.  "You finally set the date and you're only giving yourself six weeks?"

"I have the dress I want," she pouted.  "Harry said the house elves could make everything else."  She smiled.  "Besides, why wait?"

"Boss, they set the date," Tony called.  Gibbs looked back at them.  "She came up to share other news too.  She was apparently going to wait until the very last moment to tell all of us."

"When, Abby?"

"Six weeks," she said happily.  "Oh, I'm not moving departments.  Harry said it'd be fine."  She beamed at the director when he looked at her.  "I'm getting married soon."

"You're not switching departments?"

"To be honest, Harry's never home anyway.  He said he'd come live with us."

"Us?" Tony asked, making her blush.  "Are we, perhaps, bollixing up our fertility potions like Dawn did?"

"No!" she said, swatting him.  "I'm very good at my contraceptives but some year there will be a little Harry and Abby.  They'll be cute, little, pale, goth kids.  Who probably play his daddy's sport but I'll live with that and add extra sunscreen."

Tony gave her a hug.  "Are you registered anywhere yet?"

She beamed, nodding.  "The nice area in New York has one."  She kissed him on the cheek then hugged Gibbs too.  "Mom and Dad are coming or else you could give me away."  She skipped off.

Tony sighed, looking at Gibbs.  "On the other hand, Alex got a third order medal for not destroying parts of Boston when they went to get Narcissa, notably the hospital."

Gibbs shook his head. "Something new for you two to talk about I guess."

Tony looked up, communing with his other selves.  Then he nodded.  "Speed's giggling and Eric is not happy about that.  They were having a day off."  He got back to work, holding up a paper.  "Secondary ransom demand.  They had a change of heart and upped the money but changed the car they wanted?"

Gibbs took it to look over, getting back to work.  He'd be happy for Abby once they rescued the poor sailor who had been taken hostage.  Though spanking Alex to keep him out of trouble was starting to look like a good idea.  He'd have to get with the other supervisors to see if they could find a way to corral him long enough to tie him down.  Surely Mac and Horatio knew how to use their wands to capture someone.  Right?  Before Alex drove every single Bane, and associated friends, insane?

End of Curses Universe, unless someone else wants to play in it.

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