Picnic With The Family.
 
 
 

Don growled at the person coming toward where he and Danny were playing in the park, then ran over and pounced her away from his lover.  He stared down at her, smirking mentally, knowing the amusement would show through.

"You drool worse than you did as a toddler," she complained, getting off her.  "Eww, Don!"  She got up, wiping herself off, making Danny chuckle.  "Messer, can't you keep your mutt under control?"

"Usually but he's extra playful today.  It's either this or I'd get doggy cuddles."

"You still don't cuddle?"

"No," he snorted.  He shifted, giving her part of the bench.  Don ran for some bushes and they saw them moving so he popped out as a human a few feet down.  "Remember, we're shielded," he called.   He looked at Stephi Flack again, smirking slightly.  "Pretty day."

"It is."  She looked around.  "Ma told me there were four of you?"  He pointed out at the eagles soaring around.  "Ah, flying practice.  Gotcha."  She looked her brother over.  "You're gaining weight."

"Speed's a good cook," he agreed, sitting on her other side.  "So, which one sent you?"

"Ma.  She's been sobbing all morning over needing more grandkids."

Danny gave her his most evil look and swished his wand, getting a scroll.  "Tell her we copied it from the Dumass Library. Someone recently figured out how ta do it ta give a set of twins and their wife more."

She unrolled it, looking it over, then she moaned and shook her head.  "No way in hell I'm giving that to Ma.  She'd go on a rant about unnatural babies and tainting poor Donny."  She handed it to him.  "If you do knock him up, don't let her know until the baby's here if you can help it."

"Not my intention to ever have kids," he noted dryly.

"I wouldn't mind one far in the future," Don admitted.  "Certainly not in the next three or so."  His sister looked at him.  "So, how's the munchkin?"

"Doing well.  Pissing her father off."

"Stepfather," Danny corrected.  She glared at him so he raised an eyebrow.  "Not like I couldn't tell, mini-mouth."

"Fine.  He doesn't care."

"Good.  That's good," Danny agreed.  "Means Don don't have ta beat his ass."

"Speaking of kicking asses, who do I get to kick in the nuts for making him not like to cuddle?" Don asked his sister.

She looked at him, then snorted and shook her head, hanging it slightly.  "I have no clue.  As far back as I can remember, he never liked to cuddle.  You could try asking DiNozzo.  He and Tony were friends before they got with Speedle."

"True," Danny agreed, "but I've always been like this."

"Yeah," Don snorted, nodding.  "Sure you have been.  Mac thinks it's trauma induced too."

"No, not really.  I didn't even really cuddle Daphne.  She had her side of the bed and I had mine."

"Sounds cold," Stephi offered.  She looked at him. "You got some of the memories back how?"

"Strange shit.  Horatio Caine."  She gaped.  "His nephew got missed so we've been working with him to help Speed's boss."

"Small world," she said in awe.  "He still fly?"

"We have a team we play the Banes on," he admitted.  She beamed at that.  "Anyway, the purge hit Miami and broke into his house.  Ray only had a picture of the younger us, apparently our junior year, so he headed.  It skipped realms and when they sent him back, I got some of his.  He sent me a memory crystal."

"Wow."  She stroked his hand.  "That's good, Danny.  We hated what your family did to you."  She patted the hand.  "For now, I need Don's leash so I can take him home.  Ma wants ta talk to him."

"Mom and Dad can both come here," Don said firmly.  "Or they can forget about trying to talk me out of my relationship."

She looked at him.  "Trios are only accepted when one's a twin," she said blandly.  "How are you going to get the quad accepted?"

"Not a clue," Danny offered.  "Not like I'm looking for official acceptance."

"Point, but it could start to impact Don's job if others heard.  Which is what Dad's worried about. He thinks the other officers won't help Donny on scenes since he's with you."

"They've never cared yet," Danny assured her. "We've been close for ages.  Don's the guy who stood with me for a very long time, through shitloads of stuff."

"I heard.  It's good that you've got him, but if he doesn't get backed up some day...."

"Then I'll be there," he said simply. "Then I might encourage him to move to Miami and join Speed and Horatio.  His team's pretty cool."

"Sure," she agreed, smiling at him.  "Would the other two move?"

"Mac would be the tough one," Don noted, considering it.  "Stella might go."  An eagle landed beside him, giving him a long look.  He looked back.  "My parents are worried that I won't be backed up on a scene some day.  Danny said if that happened, he'd see if we could move down to Horatio's town."  The eagle made a soft squeaky noise and he grinned.  "I know you would, Stella."  The eagle changed, becoming Mac.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  We do look nearly alike."  He stroked Don's cheek.  "If that happens, you tell me, and I'll prove it, have their badges, and feed them to general population myself," he promised quietly.  "Then we'll go take over Horatio's other shift."  That got a smile.  He looked up. "Stella!"  She flew down and landed, looking at him.  "Just like we practiced, Stella.  Change back."  She changed back, beaming and happy.  "Good girl."  He stole a kiss.  "Have fun?"

"My arms are *so* sore," she complained, "but I did."  Danny pulled her down to work on her arms for her, making her moan.  "Thank you, Danny."

"Never a problem," he reminded her, kissing the back of her head.  "You like it?"

"Ooh, I love it.  It was so ....so...freeing isn't even enough of a word."

"Yeah," Don agreed, grinning at his sister.  "We just started this stuff."

"I realize that."

"What did you become?" Stella asked.

"I never wanted to," she admitted.  "Animagus wasn't my thing."

"No, the books we accidentally left around on obtuse magic, demonology, and blood rites was," Danny said, staring her down.

"It was interesting but I'd never do it.  Even if I do have a touch of Sight with the dead."  She frowned a bit then cleared it up.  "So, Donny, Ma wants you home for dinner."

"They can bring it out here and we'll have a picnic," he assured her.  "That way she can get to know the others and love them like I do."

"If we had to," Mac said quietly, glancing around.  "We could make it seem like two couples to the station."  Stella looked up at him. "However would work best.  That would get us out of the quad rumors."

"It would," Danny agreed, looking at Don, who shrugged.  "Doesn't matter to me, no one likes me anyway."  He snorted.  "The only people who like me are Don's cult."

"We like you," she promised, giving him a hug.  "The others will come around."  She smiled at Stephi.  "Call them, tell them to bring food.  We'll run out and get something and have a picnic here."  She nodded, pulling out her phone.  She looked at Mac, who rolled his eyes but did that.  She beamed at the other two.  "His training is coming along very well."

"He's used ta serving strong masters," Don joked.  "You can't be tougher than a Marine, Stella."

She gave him a long look, then nodded. "Yes I can.  He's said so."  She winced, rubbing her tattoo.  "Tony's not a happy camper."

Danny sent a thought at him getting a terse 'not now' back.  He called Alex.  "Hey, it's Danny.  Can the senator the bank bought recently help against Tony's director?"  He listened to what had been going on.  "Really?  No wonder he's uptight and ready to snarl.  Thanks, Alex."  He stood up and looked around before apparating off.  He landed in the back of the gym, where Tony had put up a private marker.  Then a quick hop up to where he could feel Tony waiting, and smell blood.  He changed into his second form, speeding and slinking around the bodies in the way.  They had SWAT help but Ziva was still on the floor bleeding and the Director was still ranting.  He made it into a shadow and changed to his original one, feeling the pang of what he used to be.  He snuck behind her, starting up her ankle, making her shriek and hop around.  Tony tackled her, moving the gun out of her hand and punching her.  Danny scurried off as fast as he could slither, coming off the elevator to help.  "Hey," he said, catching him.  "Save some for Gibbs."  He pulled Tony back to help Ziva, letting him do that while he watched over him.  Someone gave him an odd look.  "I came in for a visit."  Tony looked up at him.  "What?  I did."

Tony cracked a small smile.  "You're insane, Danny.  Thank you."

"Not an issue."  He helped get her onto the gurney and held Tony back while they walked her off.  "Get a ride.  Only boyfriends ride in the ambulance with them."  He nodded, going to get Gibbs to take them all.

Gibbs looked at Danny.  "Thank you."

"Not an issue.  It's what we do for each other.  Now, I believe he's going to have flashbacks soon.  Maybe you should take him with you?"

"Going," he agreed.  "Head home, Danny.  He'll see you soon."

"Sure, Don's parents are coming to join us in the park for a picnic.  Mac, Stella, and us."  He shrugged and followed them into the elevator, disappearing from in there.

Tony rested his head against the wall for a minute.  "This isn't a flashback to Kate, right boss? It's not like Ari, part two or anything?"

"No, DiNozzo.  We won't let it be."  They walked off the elevator, heading for the car, McGee silently trailing behind them.  He looked at the silent one. "You good?"

"No," he said honestly.  "Nor will I be for a while.  I'll break down once we find out how she is."

"That's all I expect," Gibbs admitted, letting them into the car.

Danny reappeared, settling on the bench between Stella and Don, watching Mac spread the blanket.  He looked at Stella.  "Are you torturing him?"

"Watching his ass in those pants," she said absently, watching him work. "See, he's got a nice butt.  Not broom butt but a nice butt."   Mac blushed at that comment, truly blushed.  It was something she hadn't seen before.  She got up to kiss him, pouncing him on top of the blanket.

"Hey, no DNA samples with lunch," Don complained.  He looked at Danny.  "What did you do?"

"Broke her concentration."

"How?" he asked patiently.

"Circled her ankle and squeezed. She screamed and jumped."

Don kissed him on the temple.  "I love you, you nut."  Danny grinned at him.  "Tony good?"

"Ziva got hit in the shoulder.  We'll know soon."  That got a nod.  "She was ranting about how Kate had all been a setup and all that stuff.  They had SWAT up there so I was very discreet and only showed up when they got her down. I'm sure they'll be fine."  He shifted closer.  "If you two are gonna go at it for real, add a second blanket so we don't have to worry about dropped food.  I doubt his family want to taste either of you."

Mac smirked at him.  "Speak for yourself.  Don likes to taste us.  Don't you, Don?"

Don grinned and ran over to pounce them. Stella got out of the way, letting those two play for now.  It was good for Mac to play. Don snuck kisses whenever he could pin Mac momentarily, then Mac pinned his back to the blanket, holding his upper arms down.  "Oh, come on, just one more?" he whined.  "Please?"

"No, Don.  We've got to finish laying out the spread."  Don wiggled but it wasn't working.  Then suddenly Don changed into his dog form and got free, landing on top of his back to knock him into the ground and pin him, taking another few kisses.  "Don," he moaned.

"Got you," he smirked, taking another one.

Don's father cleared his throat.  "Good to know they let you be playful, son."

"Let me change the blanket so it's clean," Stella offered.  Don got up with a groan and helped Mac up while she transfigured the blanket into a different, clean one.  "There we go."  She came over to get their contribution, laying it out with Danny.

Danny watched Don and his mother talk off to the side, then lifted his wand, sending a small zap of energy at Don's ass, making him squeal and grab it, turning to glare at him.  He grinned.  "Come eat.  You're the hungry one."

"I'll get you back for that later," he promised, scowling at him.

Danny smirked.  "Sure you will.  You've still got lots to learn if you wanna take me, Don."

Don leered. "You didn't say that this morning."

"Not that way."  He swatted him, frowning.  "I doubt your parents wanted that sort of information."

"But give it anyway," Stephi called as she brought her daughter over.  She sat down, planting her daughter next to her.  "Do not move."

"Wiggle away, kid.  It's a park.  Just don't go over ten feet from us or your Uncle Don'll pout."

The ten-year-old girl giggled and hugged her uncle.  "I missed you.  Dad's being a poop again."

"Why?" Don asked.

"Don't say such things about your father, Miranda," her grandmother said firmly.

She looked at her.  "He is!  It's the truth. I could've used much less polite words."

"Why?" Don asked again, staring at his niece.

"He thinks my girlfriends are bad people because they like to look at pictures of movie stars and cute singers."

Danny shrugged.  "Sounds like normal pre-teen behavior ta me.  Didn't you do that, Stephi?"

"Yup, and he considers it amoral."  She rolled her eyes.  "I think he needs to have a talk with Dad but he's claiming he's the normal one."

Her father looked at her, then at Don.  "You come with me?"

"Sure. I've still got handcuffs."  He stared at his sister.  "Anything else we gotta talk ta him about?"

"Not yet."

Danny pulled his wand and pointed it at her.  "Finite Incantantum."  She shrieked and covered her face.  "The swelling gives it away, Stephi.  I taught you better'n that."  She glared at him, he glared back.  "Where is the pile of fertilizer?"

"Home."

"Good.  We'll be there later," Don promised, smiling sweetly.  "His fist or his hand?"

"Hand," Miranda told him, looking up at him.  "Can you hit him for me too?  He wanted to have me sewn shut so that no evidence of the wrongness that is being female can come out."

"Sure, pumpkin, I'll hit him once for you too," he promised, giving her a hug. Danny sent him a thought and he smirked.  "That's so mean.  I like that."

"Tony used it on Sonny once."

"Hmmm," Don moaned.  "He showed me what he did.  Was nice."  He started to open things. "Plates?"  Mac moaned.  "Fine."  He handed over lids to containers.  Then he transfigured his.  Stella beamed and did the same.  Mac hesitated but Stella did his and Danny did his before she could give him one with flowers too.  Stephi did everyone else's.

"Can I do that too?" Miranda asked.

Danny handed over his wand, watching as she held it.  "Okay, point it at the grass. Say enflamee."

"Enflamee."  A small fire started.  "OOOOOOHHHHHH!  Mom!"

"I can see that. We'll expect a letter."  She handed Danny back his wand then put out the fire.  "Good job, Miranda."  She beamed at her.  "Don't tell your father."

"Nope, I won't."  She looked at her uncle. "He hit her because she was polishing her broom."

"Need help buying a new one?" Danny asked.

"No, mine's still good. I got a new one about five years ago."  She smirked at him.  "You two are both on that day?"

Don moaned and nodded.  "My boss hates me."

"I've been thinking, she only does this on game days," Danny said thoughtfully. "I think she might know."

"She might but she's a cop.  She should be supporting us," Don complained.  "Even if I think she's dating another team's chaser."  Stella looked at him.  "I thought I recognized him."

"We'll look at pictures later," she promised.  She grinned at him.  Then at Danny.  "Can I borrow your green broom for the game?"

"Nope.  Mine.  You've got a good broom.  You haven't practiced on mine."

"Yet?" she asked hopefully.  She gave him the begging eyes.  "Please?"

"We'll see the next time we're at Alex's and we're playing the Banes."

"That'd be kinda cool if we could arrange that soon," she admitted.  "Speed and Horatio could use the break too.  Plus Gibbs."

"True."  Danny called Alex.  "We could all use a vacation.  Think we could have a game against the Banes?"  He smirked at her.  "He still wants to take our group, all his students, and Greggy to take a long vacation somewhere we can't be reached."

"Some of us don't have any vacation time," Don pouted. "They made us use it for the purge situation."

Danny listened to Alex's 'let me handle this'.  "He's got a plan.  Thanks, Alex.  Sure, if you can arrange it."  He hung up and looked at him.   "He's trying, Don."

"I know but I still won't have any vacation time.  Unless we all get injured, I'm screwed."

"No, that's later," Stephi teased.

"Stephanie Flack!" her mother shouted.  Her daughter giggled.  So did her granddaughter.  "Don't give your daughter such ideas."

"Hey, Merry, you mind if I date these three?" Don asked his niece.  She blinked at them, then at him.  Then she giggled and shook her head.  "Thanks, squirt.  Better'n your grandfather already."  He kissed her on the head. "You know, you're pretty smart so if you wanna follow us into the department, you could do what they do.  They're all CSI people."

"Wow.  Do you get to see really gross stuff?"

"Yeah, but if we tell you while the others are eating, they might get sick," Stella said, grinning at her.  "We'll talk while your Uncle Don gets to play fetch later."

"He's got a dog!  Why can't I have a dog?" she whined at her mother.

"He is a dog," she told her patiently.  "Donny, change," she ordered at the pout.  He changed and Miranda squealed, coming over to pet him.  "Gently!"

"He's adorable!" she cooed, hugging her uncle.  "This puts you up there with the saints for me," she assured him. "You are THE coolest uncle, Uncle Don."  She looked at the others.  "Can you guys change?"  They all nodded. "What do you guys become?"

"Mac and I are eagles," Stella offered.

"I'm a black king snake," Danny said with a grin.

"Cooollllll," she breathed. "Can I see?"  He transformed down, letting her pet him gently.  "You're very pretty like that."  She got away and he changed back.  She looked at him.  "You can do something else."

"I can but it's because I changed so much since I was a little kid."  He patted her on the head.  "It'll be okay.  You'll learn some day."

"What's your other one?"  He gave her a look and she smirked just like her uncle. "Please?" she pleaded.  "I'll be your favorite niece too since you're dating my uncle.  Pretty please!"

"Fine," he agreed, changing down into his second form.

"You're a red fox!" Stella said.  "Ha!  Pay up, Mac."  He put the five dollar bill into her hand.  "Thank you."  She smirked at him. "I thought that's what I saw."

Don picked Danny up, putting him into his lap to pet him.  "He's been ghostly about showing us," he told his niece.  "Eat."  She went back to her plate, eating while he petted and ate.  Danny made a tired noise.  "Nope.  Not even close."  Danny changed back, still in his lap, giving him a dirty look.  He grinned.  "And?  You're cute and needed petting."

"No I didn't."  He wiggled free and picked up his plate again.  "Forgive him, he's been the dog all day and he's having trouble putting a barrier between 'em in his head."

Don's father smirked at that.  "Well, son, you've at least met your match in that one."

"It was nice that you were the aggressor with the other guy," his mother offered gently.

"I'm Stella, this is Mac," Stella introduced.  "The other guy's Danny."

"I've met Danny in the past," his father assured him.  He looked at his son, then at Danny.  "Anything in your life hurts him, I will have your badge taken."

"Nothing in my past should hurt him. There's nothing in my past.  Wrong Messer brat," he said, staring back.  Don's father backed down at that.  He smiled at Stella.  "Do I get a present with that?"

"Nope.  It's purely for my chocolate fund."

"Ask, Stella, we'll feed you all the chocolate you need ta be in a good mood," Don promised, grinning sweetly.  "After all, a cranky you makes people cry more'n I do."

"Can't have that, then their lawyers complain and I have to make the lawyers cry," Mac joked.  Danny nodded at that.  "Any word on the Dursley case?"

"Yeah, Monroe got the boy who killed him.  Seemed justified ta me," Danny offered.  "Fatass called him out with racial slurs then walked off laughin'.  Guy got him after they had both left.  Sheldon empathized with the guy.  Lindsey's even hatin' the family now."

"Hmm.  At least it was solved," Mac offered.  They all nodded.

"Dursley?" Stephi asked.  "He's real?"

Don looked at his sister, beaming proudly.  "I'm training as a curse breaker beside Harry and Ron.  Alex Dumass is training us."  She gaped, staring at him.  He nodded.  "Yeah, Alex is our buddy."

"Also known as Xander Harris," Danny said with a smirk.  "Buffy was joking when she suggested the show but they liked it.  That cemetery rite?  That's how Speed got brought back by his Alexx, their ME and his pseudo-mother."

"Damn," she breathed. "He's okay, right?"

"He's fine.  I checked.  Nothing evil coming with him.  He's at home napping at the moment.  Tony's just had a teammate shot.  He's working NCIS."  He concentrated and Tony showed up, giving him a hug.  "Needed the time off?"

"I was going to hit the Internal Affairs person," he admitted, sitting down between him and Don.  Speed showed up with a long yawn.  "Sleepy!" he accused.  "We just got threatened, had Ziva shot by the director, and had her arrested.  Plus found out she's the one who planned to get Kate shot so she could replace her with less of a threat on the team to her getting Gibbs back."  Speed walked over and gave him a hug.  "Thanks.  Danny helped."

"I figured he had. I thought it was an odd dream.  You good?"  Tony nodded.  "Then let me send Gibbs a portkey."  He made one out of a napkin and sent it off after making a short note on it.  Gibbs appeared a few minutes later.  "Hey."

"Thank you.  They were about to get shot. You all right, DiNozzo?"

"No, boss, I wanna kill someone," he said blandly.  "Preferably your ex.  Got any qualms?"

"Not really."  He sat down, taking a roll Mac handed over.  "So, this idea of Alex's to give us all a long vacation.  Any issues with it?"

"No vacation time," Don complained.

"I'll have someone borrow you for a federal case."  He smirked at him.  "We could all use a good vacation, at least a weekend away."  He looked at the parents, then the young woman and the little girl.  "Hi, Jethro Gibbs, I work with Tony."

The woman looked at Tony.  "DiNozzo, you have very handsome taste in bosses."

"I didn't pick him for that reason," he snorted, glaring at her.  "Boss, this is the mini- Flack, Stephi, and her daughter, who I do believe is Miranda?"  The girl smiled and nodded.  "Speed and I," he said, pointing at Speed, "went to school with your mom.  We used ta pick on her all the time."   Danny cackled and nodded.

"That's kinda cool.  My Uncle Don can turn into a dog."

"I can do a cat," Tony told her, smirking a bit.  "Wanna see?"  She nodded so he changed.  She squealed and hugged him, petting him.

"Don't do that with me," Speed said, staring at her.  "You'll make a good cop some day, Miranda."  She smiled at that.  "Let Tony change back and smooth down his fur, he itches if you don't."  She smoothed it all down and moved, letting him shift back so she could hug him.  "You'll be a pretty good witchly cop."

"Uncle Don said I could be a CSI person like his lovers."

"You can," Don agreed, patting her on the head.  He stuck her in his lap.  "There, comfy?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Good girl."  He grinned at Speed.  "Rare day off?"

"No, my last case ended in a five county car chase and standoff.  With me right behind him.  I couldn't peel off since it was my case.  Horatio told me to go home and sleep since I only got in a few hours ago."  He yawned again.  "We've got some scary backwoods in Florida.  I didn't realize that."

Tony snickered. "Every state has some.  Some just have more than others.  I found some of the Bayou people scary the last time I was in Louisiana. Of course, they were trying to scare me off," he admitted.

Speed rolled his eyes.  "I ran into the version in the Everglades."

Danny nodded wisely.  "I've seen some of them when I came down to visit that time and got lost."

"Don't remind me," Speed snorted.  He looked at Stella.  "Never let him navigate more than five hundred miles without a break."

"Sure.  If we take a massive road trip I'll remember that."  She hugged him.  "You can nap on me if you want."

"I would but Mac would get insanely jealous."  He grinned at her, then at Don's family. "Don't worry, we just tease them."

Don's mother rolled her eyes. "I heard plenty about you three while Stephi was in school.  Thankfully at least one of you has grown up," she said, giving Danny a cool look.

"I grew up back then," he reminded her.  "Kinda hard not to in my life."

"Both ours," Tony sighed, looking at him.  "I saw Audry the other day.  It was an accident."

"Hmm," Speed agreed.  "You should talk to her, settle some things."

"I should but I'm not that brave."

Speed looked at him. "I am."  Tony looked at him, getting a shrug.  "I can make sure she's happy, Tony.  Not an issue. You'll never move on without knowing."

"True.  Gibbs?"

"We probably won't be doing much and he's supposed to be a good investigator if it does happen.  Does she live close by?"

"No, but her daughter's school is in for a long week in the city for the museums," Tony offered.

"Ah."  He nodded.  "That's fine, you've got my permission, Speed.  Maybe if he settles that he'll start settling down."

"Doubt it," Danny quipped, cracking Stephi up.  She shook her head.

"If I find the right person, I will settle down," Tony assured them. "I haven't found anyone as special to me as Audry was.  Nor am I thinking I will."  He looked at his hand.  "It's only got one notch on my love line so nope.  I'll love many but only be loved by one."  Gibbs swatted him.  "What was that for?"

"For believing that BS," he said dryly.

"Actually, they do teach us divination, I did take it, and the teacher did agree with him," Danny offered patiently.

"They teach you guys palm reading?" he asked, looking incredulous.

"All forms of divination.  Everything from reading guts your senior year to doing tea leaves, to palms, star charts, all of it," Speed offered.  "Some kids make up *everything* but those with the gifts, like Danny had with Abby, take it to learn the vital things, like what happens when you start to refuse to see one and get plugged up."

"You start seeing dead people," Tony agreed dryly.

Gibbs looked at him. "You know someone who did that?"

"Yeah, one of the Banes has the Sight, mostly related to his personal family, and he got backed up because he didn't want to see his wife having a car crash.  He was seeing all sorts of chatty dead people."

"Does this happen often?"

"Depends on how stubborn you are about not wanting to see it," Danny admitted.  "I let 'em come as they do so I can warn someone.  Some block things out because they're too painful.  Emilia wouldn't have died but she would've been pretty injured.  Fortunately, their overlord loves them.  He locked her in his suite and kept her there for almost a week."

"Greg has them?" he asked, looking stunned.

Danny nodded. "He's the one who saw the purge first."

"Hell, at least it's useful then."

"Yeah, but only when his family's in danger," Tony agreed lightly.  "Danny's got that same sort of 'but' clause in his too, but he's not that close to many people.  He did see Speed getting shot and called me to warn me, then we went down to warn him...."  He glared at Speed, who flinched and curled in on himself. "Either it was meant to happen and he couldn't have avoided it or he conveniently forgot."

"I'm hoping it was the first," Speed offered.

"You'd better hope it was the first," Danny agreed. "Next time I have one about you, I'm going to chain your ass to Horatio."

"Chain me to Eric, that way I get more fun."  That got some laughs.

Danny shook his head.  "Horatio will keep you in line."

Mac pulled out his phone.  "Hey, Horatio, we're having a picnic with everyone and Don's parents.  No, Gibbs' boss went off the deep end earlier so we've got those two.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He'll be right up."

Tony pulled out his phone, calling the hospital.  "McGee.  How is she?"  He nodded, smirking.  "No, we're with the group and I got told I was a very cute kitty by Don's niece.  Sure."  He hung up.  "Boss, she's back out again.  He said she insisted he leave too.  Apparently she's the sulk in pain by herself sort."  Gibbs nodded at that.  Tony looked at the blanket, then grabbed a bottle of water and transfigured it, handing it over. "Here, before you go into withdrawal.  I don't make good coffee but it's not like you'll care."

"Thanks, DiNozzo."  He opened it and sniffed, then sipped.  "Not too bad for iced coffee."

"What can I say, I'm trendy," he offered with a grin.

"No, that was Speed," Mac reminded him, patting him on the arm, getting a smirk in return.  "Any other showing off we've got to do?"  Horatio appeared and flopped down with a sigh.  "Bad day?"

"Stetler," he said, hanging his head.

"Again?" Speed demanded.  "Can't I just hex the asshole?"

Horatio looked at him. "If I can't, you can't," he said quietly.  "I don't care if he is Internal Affairs, you may not hex him.  He serves a purpose."

"Yeah, and?  He's not doing his job if he's bothering you again."

"No, we found a link back into patrol.  He came for that and stayed for the taunting.  It's sucked all the energy out of me.  Though Ryan did say he's not like him."

"We sure?"

"He assured me he's totally non-magical."  He felt an incoming portkey and slid his wand into his hand, looking at the person who appeared.  "And you are?"

"Greg sent me," he said grimly.

"Hey, Hodges.  Come pull up some grass," Danny offered, grinning at him.  "What did Greggy want?"

"*Greggy* wants you three to get your ass up and go to the bank to deal with the artifact going rogue.  For some reason they called *him*.  He's not sure why.  He said it's like someone calling him about dragons.  No clue why they would."

Don stood up with a groan and walked over to a fire pit, starting a fire and tossing in a bit of floo powder. "You yelped for help?" he asked dryly.  The goblin blinked at him.  "I'm Flack.  Curse breaker apprentice Flack.  You yelped to Sanders and he assigned?"

"We did.  We were hoping to get Dumass."

"He's banging his boy.  It's gonna be a while.  What've you got?"

"Demons.  A few demons."

Don sighed and nodded.  "Be right there.  Guys, I'll be right back."  He apparated off, landing with Danny right behind him. "I can do this!"

"No you can't."  He clapped him on the back.  "I'll hold, you contain."

"Fine."  They headed that way, pulling their wands to contain the menace.

Back at the picnic, Gibbs was chuckling.  "I thought Alex was bad when he got called out of bed."

"He is," Stella assured him, smiling at Horatio.  "You heard the last time."

"I saw the last time.  The bank got him while he was on vacation.  Draco threw a fit worthy of a princess and stomped a bit.  Alex complained and headed off to help.  He came back an hour later still complaining so Draco soothed him and got him back into bed. Willow was with them so she laughed the whole time."

"I'd laugh too," Mac agreed.  "For doing what he's got to, he's a fairly complaining guy about it."

"It's not so bad but they always get him out of bed and things," Stella offered.

"That man spends way too much time in bed," Horatio noted dryly.

She looked at him.  "If you had a lover like Draco, wouldn't you stay in bed most of the time?"

He hesitated, then shook his head.  "Not all the time, but probably whenever I wasn't working," he admitted.  "Getting a veela to choose me as a mate is very slim."

"They're almost more trouble than they're worth," Stephi assured him. "I dated one.  Not a consort type but a half pure veela.  Talk about a princess."

"Was he the boy with the hair?" her mother asked.  She nodded.  "I remember him.  Nothing was ever good enough for him."

"His kind were bred to be concubines to the higher heads in Europe," Horatio told her.  "Most of them prove it.  Draco will at least help the boys work, especially if he has to do a potion or research.  Hodges, sit."

"Fine.  Any idea why they'd call Greg?"

"Nope," Stella admitted.  "He was the only wizard they knew or they knew he could reach Alex or Don?"

"Maybe.  Greg's having a cranky day.  The Sheriff didn't like how he handled the multiple body case.  Called him into his office last night and yelled for a good hour, including how he should've handed it over to the military, even though most of them weren't."

"They would've handed it right back," Gibbs assured him.

"He said it was protocol."

"Which leaves families waiting on news," Tony said blandly.  "He's elected, right?"  David nodded, smirking a bit.  "Already got a recall?"

"Election's next year.  The entire lab is spreading 'vote for anyone but him' complaints.  Even the cops don't like him."

"That's always a treat to work for," Mac said bitterly.  "We had one like that once.  Those of us who could found his every secret and encouraged him to retire."

"To outward appearances, he lives like a monk, doesn't like sex, and hates women.  He won't talk to Catherine unless absolutely necessary and she's the only one there."

"Which means he's hiding a strong kink lifestyle, he's submissive to women, probably, and he may have a past history of violence," Stella offered.  "I've seen his sort before."

"If he does, it's hidden pretty deeply.  Warrick went looking and couldn't find anything."

"Point out it doesn't have to be admissible in court, unless it's kids or something," Tony offered.  "Have Greggy look."

David looked at him.  "Does he know you call him that?"

"Yup, so does Emilia," he admitted with a smirk.  "So do the kids."  He winked at him and pulled his wand, tracing a mirror in the air, then lighting up a scrying spell.  He watched, then nudged him. "Cuff marks."  He looked him over.  "Ooh, he's a neuter."  They shared a look.  "Normally we wouldn't care about kinky sex.  I'm sure Grissom won't care about that, but that other one, depending on reason...."

"Thank you.  We love you," David said happily. "Send me back to Greg's?"  Speed pulled his wand and sent him off.  He jogged in from the pool, finding Greg on the couch with an ice pack.  "Greg, what happens if you look for inadmissable stuff?"

"As long as I don't find something I'd have to turn in," he admitted, lifting the icepack to look at him.  "Why?"

"Cuff marks and Tony thinks he's a neuter."

"Really?" he asked, his whole face lighting up with the evil smirk.  "Emilia, honey, would you please start a scrying spell!" he called as he got up, taking him up the stairs to check.  He saw him still yelling at Grissom so he called him.  "Have him turn around for some reason, boss.  No, I'm finding a reason to make him want to run for the hills."  He listened to the banal words and the Sheriff turned, making him smirk.  "Oooh, he so is.  Boss, our beloved Sheriff is into body modification.  He's got no male set.  Also, cuff and whip marks, which wouldn't *normally* matter to you.  But I think we can find enough to make him want to run."  He hung up and watched as Grissom smiled at the Sheriff and asked him something, finding a tube of stuff in his drawer and holding it out.  The sheriff gave him a horrified look, rubbed his wrists, and fled.  "Teach him not to bitch me out for doing my job correctly again," he snorted.  His phone rang so he canceled it, smirking.  "Hey, boss.  No, he yelled for an hour last night about how I handled the case with the pits."  He nodded. "I know.  Went over the military point six different times.  No, I've still got a migraine.  Thanks."  He hung up and shared an evil look with David.  "We so need to mine his house with spy cameras and stuff."

"Archie is over that, Greg," he said innocently.  "And Bobby's got most of the wires to check them for flaws."

Greg cackled and called his former cohorts.  "Boys," he said when he had them on a three- way call.  "We've found a way to make the sheriff run."  One of them clicked and went off speaker phone. "He there?"

"Out in the halls," Bobby said softly.

"What did you have in mind?" Archie asked.

"Well, we know the guy doesn't have a set.  Like it's been cut off.  We also saw he had cuff marks.  I was thinking a simple capture."

"Can't we just ask Lady Heather?"

"A good Domme will never talk about her clients," Greg told him.  "That would breach confidentiality."

"What if he's not hers?"

"Hmm, we could ask Grissom to ask her if he is.  Point out that we know he's like that already.  I still want to put a few discreet cameras in his place."

"Twitchy on the legal side," Archie noted.

"Not like we'll have to present it, Arch," David reminded him blandly.

"You two are working together?"

"Tony and Speed suggested it," David admitted with a smirk for Greg.

"Ooooh," Greg moaned.  "Tony perfected his skills getting a friend out a street gang."

"Tell us more of this evil plan, Gregory," Bobby offered quietly.  "Oops, Grissom."  He hung up.  He called back a few minutes later and was much happier.  "Gris called Lady Heather, he's not one of hers.  She refused him."

"Ooooh, yes!" Greg said, cackling again.  "I think we can work with this.  I'll be in early tonight, boys.  That'll get me there the same time you guys are.  We'll work out the details then."

"Deal," Archie agreed.  "Can you do it your way and record it?"

"Yes, but then that would expose him to it."

"Can't we channel it to show like it's being played back?" David asked. Greg looked at him.  "Set it to play on the tv instead of a mirror?"

"Usually you set the spell on the mirror at the same time.  It's part of the scrying."  He considered it.  "I'll see.  We'll experiment."  He grinned.  "Thanks, guys.  See you tonight.  Have a good breakfast."  He hung up and hugged David.  "Good idea, David."  He walked out with him, heading for the library.  He was already sending to the more techie members of the Banes, getting back ideas of how to do that.

***

Greg called Stella later the next night.  "Hey, Stel, it's Greg.  No, I've got a problem and I think you've got the solution.  Catherine needs a book on puberty and sexuality for witches.  I can't find any out here for her.  I'm pretty sure Danny said he was going to get you one.  So can I send her to you?  Maybe set up a book exchange?"  He grinned.  "Thanks.  No, she's off tonight.  Bless you."  He hung up and looked at Catherine.  "Stella's off duty right now.  She doesn't have the book in question, Danny's been handing her the spells as needed.  She's more than willing to go find one and share it with you."

Catherine hugged him. "Thank you.  Okay, let me grab my purse."  She found it and her wallet and keys, then stood still.  He grinned and handed over a portkey, sending her off.

TBC...

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