Not Quite What I Was Going For

Ray flinched when the door splintered.  Someone ran in and he saw a gun, so he did the smart thing.  He had read the books, he knew what aparating was.  He took off, keeping that picture firmly in his mind.  He landed with a bad thump in a darkened room, moaning a bit.  That was not something he wanted to do again.  He felt like he was cotton wool being pulled apart by a toddler at the moment.

"You'd better be a hurt house elf," a male voice hissed.  It wasn't very deep, and it sounded about his age.

"I wish.  Apparating gives me a headache apparently."

"Luminos."  A young Danny Messer sat up, staring at him.  "Who in the fucking hell are you, kid?"

"Ray Caine." He looked at him. "Please tell me I didn't go back in time?"


"My uncle, Horatio, said if I ever got into trouble to come to you.  Federal agents were breaking in the door.  We're in a purge, but I know Speed and he's in his early thirties in my life."  He got to his knees, looking at him.  "Did I go back in time by accident? I was trying to apparate with the picture Uncle Horatio showed me earlier.  It was a younger one, from you guys in school."

"Whoa!" he said, holding up a hand.  Danny pointed his wand to the right, then muttered something.  Someone next door yelped and came jogging over.  Tony DiNozzo, seventeen and one of the top badasses in the school, stood there, wand in his hand.  "Do we know a Horatio Caine from somewhere?"

"Speed works for him in my time and he went here," Ray told him.  He looked at Tony and grinned.  "You've been down working with Speed in the lab," he offered.  "Recently, after he came back."

"What?" he demanded.  "SPEED!" he bellowed.  A few others glared at him from their rooms.  "We just got a delivery."  That got more glares.  "Someone get the head of the house!" he yelled.  "Tell her it's a human delivery!"  Speed came out of his room, his hair sticking up every which way, still damp from his shower.  He and Speed walked in, then shut the door and made seats for themselves on the bed. "Okay, start again.  From the top, kid."

Ray nodded, shifting to get comfortable, wincing a bit.  "I'm Ray Caine.  I'm Horatio Caine's nephew."

"Heard of him.  He went here about a decade ago," Speed offered.  "Graduated seven or eight years ago if I remember right."

Danny blinked. "He's one of the guys who made the study center, right?" he asked.  Speed nodded. "Okay, got that part.  Keep goin', kid."

"Okay.  I'm his brother's son.  His brother's dead, long story.  Horatio's working in Miami as the head of the CSI lab down there."  They all nodded at that.  "In my life, Speed's about early thirties somewhere.  Unfortunately we've got the military doing something Uncle Horatio called a purge.  The military is trying to get us to work for them."  That got slower nods.  "Earlier tonight, when I got back from picking up my wand and stuff, he showed me you guys' picture from what he thought was your senior year and told me who you were, to run to you guys if there was a problem.  I know Speed, and I've seen Tony from a distance, but I was focusing on the picture.  Did I go back in time?"

Speed pulled his wand and ran it over him.  "No, you slipped realms.  We're an AU to you, kid."  He looked at the others.  "Danny, what did you eat before bed this time?"

"Not funny!  I didn't conjure the troll in my sleep!" he said, kicking at him.  Someone pounded on the door.  "Yeah, s'open!"  The Headmistress walked in and they all waved, then pointed at Ray.  "He got sent to us.  His uncle Horatio only had a picture of us at this age."

"We're juniors," Tony noted.  "So you thought us a bit younger and it's good to know there's other versions of us out there."

"You had to pick up a new wand why?" Speed asked.

"I got missed."  He shrugged.  "Uncle Horatio is teaching me since I'm in Miami, my mother's panicking about this stuff, and the purge."

"Purge?" the headmistress asked.

"The US military is trying to force us to work for them in my realm or whatever," Ray told her.  "Uncle Horatio told me to come to these guys, but I'm assuming he meant their older counterparts."

She sighed and shook her head.  "All right, let's go to my office.  Boys, get dressed, meet me up there with him."  They nodded and she walked out, going to prepare for this talk and get the nurse in.  Just in case it was needed for passing out people.


Ray followed the boys back to their dorms. "I'm really sorry I did this, guys."

"Not an issue," Danny said blandly.  "Not a great time ta do it, but not an issue."  He looked at his cohorts, then back at Ray.  "How did they miss you?"

"This school apparently missed a lot of students.  You, Speed, and Tony are training two others that got missed who're about your ages. I have no idea who, they don't tell me that stuff.  He did tell me Mac Taylor's name.  He's apparently Danny's boss at his CSI unit."

"I knew you two were too geeky to be normal," Tony taunted, heading into his room.  "Speed, do you wanna crash with me or Danny?"

"We'll crash together," Danny offered.  "Kid, take my room.  Do not touch my brooms."

"Uncle Horatio promised he'd teach me how to fly this weekend," he offered grimly.  "I wouldn't know what to do with one yet."

"Don't even think about doin' it with mine," Danny ordered, heading for Tony's room.  "We'll get you up for breakfast and that stuff."  Ray nodded, giving him a hesitant smile.

"It's gonna be a long day, Ray, get some rest," Speed ordered more gently.  He let him into Danny's room then went to curl up with his posse.  "Ideas?" he asked once he was comfortable on Danny's chest.

Tony climbed in and curled up behind him, one arm over them both.  "Not yet.  Danny?"

"His story checks and you can do that during an apparation if you're not careful.  There's documented cases in the library.  I'm wondering if we should pump him for information."

"We're an alternate realm from him, it might not hurt anything," Speed said quietly, then yawned. "I'm more worried about the looks he was giving me."

"We'll find out tomorrow," Tony decided.  "Do we teach him?"  They both nodded, he could feel it.  "Okay, is he going to be enrolled?  He's the oldest first year I've ever seen."

"He is," Danny mused, thinking about it.  "I say we teach him.  Not like we're not bored anyway.  Speed, do some research on his family and his uncle."  He got a quiet, sleepy sounding hum.  "Tony, you're best at interrogation, find out what you can."  Tony yawned and nodded.  "Good.  I'll figure out what we're teachin' the kid based on what you find out.  Speed can do the flying lessons."  He yawned and accepted the gentle kiss from Tony.  "Love you guys too.  Let's nap for now."  They drifted off, letting themselves relax for now.


Danny got the kid up and moving toward the stairs.  "Geez, kid.  Most of the rest of us have been up now for at least a half-hour."

"I get up at seven for school," he complained.

"By seven most of the food's gone," Danny assured him, taking him down to the dining hall.  He found the other two and his usual seat open so he sat down and pointed at Ray to grab another chair and bring it over.  The house elves put food in front of them. "Thanks, Gerrty.  Get Ray there some caffeine too, 'kay?"  The house elf brought him food and caffeine too.

"Thank you," Ray said quietly.  She patted him on the wrist then left.  He looked at them.  "What?"  They were all staring.  He dug in, eating as only a young teenager could.  "I'm still growing," he defended at Speed's amused looks.  "You told me once you ate half the side of a cow one weekend."

"I did," he agreed fondly.  That alone proved the kid knew him at least casually.  "Okay, kid.  What have you learned so far?"

"Um, levitating, three other charms.  Uncle Horatio had only started to work with me for an hour or so."

"Good.  That means you're a blank slate."  He looked toward the headmistress, getting a 'come here' glare.  He got up and headed up there, going to get some more soda.  "What?" he asked.

"You three are protecting the boy?"

"Yeah.  He was sent to us."

"Fine.  What has he learned?"

"Four charms.  He'd only been learning for an hour."  She shuddered.  "We need ta know what he knows about us."

"It could be vastly different."

"It'd better be vastly different.  I'm not sure I wanna be a cop."  She nodded, accepting that.  "Any restrictions?"

"Try not to turn him into someone who'll hex in the hallways."  She noticed Danny and Tony both stiffened and turned pale.  "Let's go."  She walked back there.  "What?" she asked quietly.

"I asked him about the old war that got restarted and then stopped again," Ray said quietly.  "I'm sorry, guys."

"It's okay," Tony said, calming himself down.  "Yes, there's some over here, no they'd never attack the school."  Ray blinked at him.  "I swear to you, they won't."

"They do, they're in trouble," Danny said finally, quietly.  He sipped his drink.  "It got ended, restarted, and then stopped?"

"Yeah, well, according to the books that're right up until his fifth year, Potter, Harry, ended up being able to stop the killing curse somehow. He's got a really bad scar on his forehead thanks to it.  Vo...  Um, HIM, turned into a ghoul, wandered around for a few years, came back when Harry was a first year at Hogwarts.  Harry's...  Um, let's see.  He graduated from there about two years ago in my time and I'm just about to turn sixteen if that helps."

Tony looked at the date on the kid's watch, doing some mental math.  "So, it'll be stopped this year sometime if I'm right."  Speed nodded at that.  "Any idea when?"

"I think Halloween but I'm not positive.  It was only given once in the books and I'm not sure I remembered right."

"Okay," the headmistress agreed.  "We can see if there's a difference there.  Boys, pick up and let's do this in private."  They nodded, going to get more soda and take their plates with them and Ray as well.  She put them in an empty classroom and locked the door.  "All right, you know more about these boys' present lives in your time.  While we're an alternate reality to yours, some of it could be necessary for us to know.  What are they doing?"

"Tony's working with NCIS, in DC.  Under a guy named Gibbs.  Says he's a bastard but he's usually smiling when he says it.  Speed's a CSI under my uncle Horatio.  Danny's a CSI here in New York under a guy named Mac Taylor. I know these three are teaching a few others who got missed. The school was missing people on purpose.  Um, I keep hearing a Don Flack and Stella Bonasera mentioned?"

"There's a Bonasera left?" she asked.  "I thought they all died."

Ray shrugged. "I'm on the outskirts of that talk.  If I had a way, I'd tell you.  I do know that Danny's got a problem with his wrists.  Uncle Horatio was finding him a rub for them. Something about a fall, I think senior year."  Danny moaned at that.  "I know they went to separate schools. I know Speed earlier was swearing about Tony's father trying to force him to marry someone he didn't want to."

"Audry?" he asked quietly.

"Speed said you're a playboy and you date a lot.  I have no clue."

Tony sighed and slumped down some, drinking his soda.  "I'm seeing the unsutble hand of my father in that for some reason."

"Sounds like him," Speed agreed.

Danny coughed.  "Fall?"

"Not a clue, he was muttering to himself about it.  I know you play beater with him playing keeper when you guys play some of Alex Dumass's friends, you guys call them Banes?"

"I've heard of Dumass," Danny admitted.  "He's been attacked in the past and kept them off."

"Okay."  Ray sat up.  "Did he deage?  Alex, who I met when he was in town with his husband Draco, who's a veela of some sort, consort maybe since they kept calling him that, was only about twenty-one or twenty-two."

"Are we sure it's not his son?" Tony asked .

"No.  Speed told me he was the reason why curse breakers always searched for special dark traps when they went into jobs now.  That he had been deaged due to a curse on a job.  He's the reason the stupid vampire show was such a hit, everyone liked Xander."

Danny got up and headed out, coming back a few minutes later with a few books.  "Okay."  He opened up a yearbook. "That's your uncle?"  Ray beamed and nodded so he passed that on.  "Quidditch keeper, member of the Charms Society."  He sat down with the other one, skimming. "Here we go, Dumass, Alexander Michael.  Curse breaker, attempted deaging, was found to be an unnamed white light power source."  He blinked at that.  "Huh."  He looked at him. "Potter's a year older. It happened last year."  He handed them the book.  "Okay.  Anything else you know for sure or think you know, kid?"

Ray nodded.  "Speed and you were talking once about the stuff of your girlfriend's that you had found at your family's house after they kicked you out.  He was going over how to break a memory charm on you about Daphne?"  He nodded slowly.  "He said a few times that it was probably done in kindness."

"Why?" Speed asked.

Ray looked at him.  "All I know is that you said she died.  That his parents had her taken from him.  You said it wasn't surprising that they went after his girlfriend because she's not like him."  He shrugged, looking clueless.  "I'm not sure why.  Is she a muggle?"

"Nope," Danny said dryly.  "She's not a pureblood though and there's still some Death Eaters over here."  The headmistress sighed.  "Okay, so we've got maybe a year?"

"He said it was around when you fell."

"A year or so," Danny amended.  "How did I fall?"

"I think during a game?  Not real sure."

"That does explain why I'm not playing pro," Danny agreed dryly.  "Which wrist?"

"Off.  Uncle Horatio was saying something about it wouldn't bother you while you batted at least."

He nodded, rubbing that one.  "Okay.  Anything else?"

"Yeah, I've heard little bits of conversation while I was hanging around the office to escape my mother, the dreadful panicking one.  You three split for a while.  Uncle Horatio wasn't really happy when Speed suddenly took a day off to clean out your old hiding places.  The next day, Speed came in acting like he was before he met you two.  Uncle Horatio wasn't really happy about seeing a teenaged Speed."  Speed chuckled darkly at that.  "Exactly. But we shared music."  He looked at Danny.  "I'm assuming you two did the same thing with the way he ranted at Mac a few times that day.  He had to clue in Mac about you.  You and Mac are apparently real tense about each other, not sure why.  I know you're playing inter-borough for the PD team as a beater with Don Flack and Stella Bonasera."

"See, I know Stephi, she's here," Danny said, looking at the headmistress, who blushed.  "Oh, tell me you didn't cave!" he demanded.

"His father wanted him to be a cop like him and his mother begged," she said quietly. "He wasn't that strong."

"Uncle Horatio said they proved staying untrained can lead to cancer and suicide," Ray told her.  "Plus, he's studying under Alex personally.  Uncle Horatio was hiding in plain sight until he ended up being summoned by Alex to help him one night.  Then he came out to a union convention and that's when Speed somehow got brought back."

"Brought back?" he asked slowly.

Ray looked at him.  "You got shot on the job.  Your gun jammed.  Eric was really wiped out but you weren't mad at him. You were really mad at Calleigh and Alexx there for a long time for doing it to you. It happened during the convention somehow.  Something about a stupid vampire show and slayers."

"Slayers?" Danny asked.  "Huh?"

"When Alex got deaged, he worked with a slayer in Sunnydale.  That's where Dumbledore stuck him with some sort of shield over him.  Harry told me that when he came to bail them out after the street gang and drug lord tried to take his husband for being pretty and hot."

"Bail...  Never mind, he's a curse breaker, they get into trouble," Danny said, shaking his head.  "Which means Flack's one," he said suddenly, glaring at the headmistress.  She moaned.  "I'd fix that."  She nodded, going to talk to the family about checking him over again.  He looked at the kid.  "Okay, so Speed died?"  He nodded.  "Where were we?"

"Not in Miami.  That's all I know.  I was kinda torn up about my father dying and them saying he was a dirty cop and all that."

"Okay," Speed decided, looking at the other two. "I'm all for calling his uncle into this.  His uncle has to have a clue about some of this stuff."

"He complained that every time Alex and he ran into each other there was a lot of paperwork and covering up involved," Ray offered.

"You'd make an excellent spy," Tony said, smiling and ruffling his hair.  "You're good, kid.  We'll work on your training.  Because we're all bored.  Danny's okay in Potions and tops in Defense, second in Charms.  I'm good in Charms and Herbology.  Speed's great in Herbology and creatures, plus good in the other stuff."

"Do I have to take divinations?"

"Ewww," Danny said, shuddering.  "Don't remind me I get to go up there today, okay?"  He closed the book in front of him.  "If he's right, we're sending him back into a war zone when he goes back.  He'll need the defensive and offensive skills of a curse breaker to fix this."  The headmistress came back.  "He coming in?"

"I cited that a flair of magic had been seen around the house, that we wanted to check him again.  Are you *sure*, Ray?"

"I know he spends a lot of time with Alex.  Uncle Horatio said he had a cult to himself, and someone mailed him a baby dragon egg."

"He's a curse breaker," the trio agreed.

"Do all dragons dive down shirts?  Dawn was telling Ron that the new one wouldn't go down her friend Ginny's like the other one did.  That it was scared of her for some reason."

"Huh?" Tony asked.

"Dawn is Alex's adopted little sister.  From what I've seen in the magazines laying around the office, her sister was a slayer, the one Alex was helping probably, and she got killed.  So Dawn got adopted by him.  She's from Sunnydale.  She's engaged to Ron Weasley, who is Potter's best friend and the guy who followed him into trouble.  She's got two good friends, Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley, who I vaguely met when I went to get my wand.  They were waiting with her to make sure no one took her.  Ginny was wearing silver leathers and had long red hair pulled back in braid. Luna was a blond who was really creepy and Dawn said something about her and a Wes and an Ethan demon."  He shrugged.  "She was babbling at Ron about them and for some reason Beaua, the new dragon, didn't like Ginny as much as Keelian, the old dragon, who had somehow adopted Ron.  She was wondering if it was about which human they had chosen to adopt since Beaua had adopted Don Flack.  Then they got back on Gucci shoes again and shortly after that, made me have a sundae so they could go have sex in their brothers' back room."  He looked at them. "Is there any way I can summon the stuff he bought me?"

"Not really," Speed offered, looking at Danny, who smirked and nodded.  He got up and led the kid into the library, back into the back room they weren't supposed to know existed.  The librarian stormed after them and Danny glared, making her leave with an 'eep' of fear.  Speed walked in after them and shut the door.  "What did you do to her this time?"

"I turned her into a mouse the last time she nagged me.  Her assistant is so much nicer. I'm looking forward to her taking over since she makes good cookies during finals."  He found the book he was looking for and then the charm.  "Here.  Anything in particular about it?"

"It was still mostly wrapped, I dropped it onto the couch after I got back from Diagon.  I only took out a paper and my wand."  He looked at the charm, then concentrated really hard, eyes squinting shut as he recited it.  He felt something catch and yank, but not close enough.  He growled and did it again, making it appear in front of him.  "Well, everything but the dorky robes."

"They're back here," Speed offered, pointing at the steaming bag.  "Nice work, Ray."

"Very trainable," Danny agreed.  "Let's pick this up.  They set it on fire?"  He put it out then repaired everything, letting Ray do the gathering then floating the mass with them.  They went back to the classroom.  "He's good.  He did the charm."

"Wonderful," the headmistress agreed, nodding at the defense teacher.  "He's gotten hold of his uncle."

Speed sat down with the bag of books, looking through the 'Spells, Charms, and Potions for Teenaged Witches and Wizards' book he had.  "This is cute.  I could've used this a few years back."

Danny looked then smirked.  "That one just came out last year."  He took it to look over.  "That's the stuff his uncle bought him yesterday his time."

The defense teacher came over to look at the textbooks.  "That's not what I'd consider teaching the students out of."

"No school near him and with the purge his uncle said he's teaching him by himself," Tony told him, taking the herbology primer.  "Herbology and Potions for Dummies.  Charming."

"There's a whole line of books about every subject that end with 'for Dummies'," Ray offered.  "They're uncomplicated reference books or to teach you new skills.  Uncle Horatio said he's not good in potions so that would probably be better for me."  He looked up at the knock then someone walked in.   His patrol uniform was well fitted, his red hair cropped closer to is scalp, but he knew that man.  "Uncle Horatio."

The man standing there stared, then closed the door gently, walking forward.  "You're obviously family."

"I'm Ray's son, Ray Jr."  He hugged him.  "Sorry, familiar faces," he excused himself as he pulled back.

Horatio looked at him.  "Mother's name?"

"Yelina Salas."

"She's carrying you now," he said quietly, tipping his face up.  "What happened?"

"The purge was coming.  You had told me to come to these three guys, but only had a picture of them about this age. Apparently I slipped into a side realm?"

The headmistress nodded.  "We did test him, he's not native to this realm, Horatio."

"Thank you, Headmistress."  He looked his nephew over, then nodded once.  "Okay, what are we going to do about this?"

"The kid needs taught and we can put him back whenever we got him from," Danny pointed out.

"We'll use the study center as a key since it should be safe," Speed offered. "If not, we've got a few hidden areas of our own."

Tony nodded.  "Until then, the kid got skipped.  Apparently we're doing a lot of that.  Hey, Ray, ever hear about a Sonny?"

"Speed swore about him being dead.  Something about pain and misery not being enough?"

"We can change that," Tony said dryly, smirking at Horatio.  "You look good in a uniform.  He said we're all going to be cops of some sort.  CSI?"  Ray nodded.  "What do I do?"

"NCIS.  I guess it's the same thing only fed."  He shrugged.  "Not a clue, man.  I'm not quite that old or involved in my uncle's life."  He looked at his uncle.  "Can we talk?"  He looked at the headmistress.

"I don't see as it'd hurt," she agreed.  "Boys.  Let's figure out how to get him home and get him to the point where he'll be safe."  They nodded, packing Ray's things back together again.

Ray swallowed, looking at his uncle. "The only reason I'm here now is because of you.  You've saved me a lot of times."


"Stupidity at times.  A few bad kids I was hanging out with.  Dad's rep."  Horatio glared and he shivered, sitting down.  "Dad went undercover in Miami.  You're both down there, well, you were."  He nodded once and sat down across from him.  "Dad went undercover to stop a meth ring.  He got hooked.  I've got a half-sister named Madison."

"I see.  How long ago was this?"

"I was eleven when he died," he said quietly. "I'm almost sixteen."

Horatio considered it.  "All right, I can believe that.  Ray's had some past issues that could have led him that way."  He looked at him again.  "I want to know everything you do, Ray.  I need to.  If that purge happens here, I'm going to end up fighting it."

"Can you do anything to read my mind?"

"Legimens."  He nodded, pulling his wand, casting it quietly, reading the wide open young man.  He pulled back shuddering.  "All right." He looked back, finding the trio standing there.  Then he looked at his nephew again.  "I'm going to leave you in their hands.  I've heard about them.  They're good."  He stood up.  "Right now, you showing up would get a lot of people wondering.  Especially your father."  Ray nodded at that.  "Good boy, Ray.  You tell the asshole me there to lighten up and remember when we were twenty-one, okay?" he smirked.  He walked out, heading back to his station to think.

"Legimens," Tony cast, including the other two.  They saw everything Horatio had and he canceled it. "Okay.  We've got a way around this but it could warp you toward us, Ray."

"I always thought Speed was pretty cool, even if Eric did get more chicks than was humanly reasonable."

Danny smirked.  "Good.  Go rest in my room.  We'll do the rest later."  Ray nodded, taking his stuff up there.  He looked at the crew, then nodded.  They nodded, heading with him.  They had to gather some things, including some things they had hidden outside the school.  Danny ran into Stephi Flack on the way out, stopping her.  "You need to make sure your brother comes in.  Real sure.  Don't let your Ma get in the way this time."


"Your Ma pressured the headmistress, Stephi."  She growled and he smirked.  "Our visitor is from another realm.  He's a natural curse breaker there."

"Fucking hell, dad would shit."

"Nah, ya think?" Speed asked sarcastically.  He rolled his eyes. "If asked, we're helping the visitor.  We had to get some stuff.  Don't bother him.  He's got sweet and nice down pat."

She snorted.  "I've got a man.  Why do I need another one?"

"Better and more interesting sex," Tony told her, walking out with the guys.  Speed punched him on the arm.  "Ow!  What was that for!"

"For suggesting she have sex. She might breed and then we'd end up dealing with a baby Stephi Flack."

"Eww," Danny agreed, hitting Tony on the shoulder.  "Make sure she wants to give up sex later."  They made it outside and past the guards easily.  Not like they hadn't done it hundreds of times. "You going to tell Audry?"

"Nope.  You gonna tell Daphne?"

"Hell no," he snorted. "Might have her more often.  If they come for her, I'm gonna be there."

"Like shit on velco," Speed agreed.  "All of us, Danny."  That got a smirk.  He looked at Tony. "You and Audry stay serious, we'll help you sneak her off for the marriage and honeymoon."

"Not an issue.  I can tell my old man I'm taking one of mine that I'm serious about," Danny promised.  Tony hugged them both.  "Get off!  Bastard."

"Me?" Tony said with a sweet smile.  "Why would I be a bastard, Danny?"

"Because you're like that every day?" Speed suggested.  They all laughed at that.  Tony was definitely a bastard, one of the biggest in the world.


Ray looked up as the guys came back, putting aside his herbology book and sitting up straighter.

"Slouch, kid, not like we care," Speed reminded him, setting stuff up.

Danny set up the candles and then handed Tony the small packet of herbs he had mixed earlier.  "Okay, we're gonna do something called a bonding.  It'll allow us in that brain of yours and you in ours.  That way you'll see what we know.  We can teach you shit out the ass that way.  Got me here?"  Ray beamed and nodded. "Good, then you'll have to practice."  He looked at his broom then at him.  "Admiring it?"

"Some cat came in and nudged it, so I shooed her off sleeping on the tail."

"Thanks. That's Stephi's."  He smirked at Tony.  "Guess that means Hova's in your room again."

"Let's hope she's not having her kittens on my broom or in my bed."  He went to check, coming back shaking his head.  "Kittens *everywhere* on my bed."

"Sorry," Speed said, not meaning a word of it.  "You can always curl up with us, Tony."

"Are you three together that way?"

"It's a bonding thing, we won't expect it of you," Danny assured him.

"I have no idea where I stand on that yet," he admitted.  "I'm a bit slow there."

"You'll see plenty of it from us," Speed assured him.  Danny smirked and nodded, looking very wicked.  Tony just let out this evil chuckle and Ray shivered at that.  "We ready?"

"Nearly," Tony promised, sprinkling the herbs on the candles, then he looked at the bed.  "You a cuddler or not?"

"I like to cuddle, but I can't stand being held down."

"You and Danny both," Speed complained. "Okay, I call new kid since he's closer to me in his real life."  Tony nodded and they put him and Danny in the middle, Tony curled up against Danny's back, Speed against Ray's.  Then Danny cast the spell to light the candles and started the chant, which Tony picked up when he dropped, then Speed finished, drawing Ray down with him since he was better at forcing it.

Ray started to surface later but Danny's mind held him down and showed him some stuff the others hadn't.  He drifted off again, content in the knowledge that he now knew the difference between having a man and having a woman.

Tony kissed Danny on the back of the head. "Have I mentioned yet that I'm going to kill Sonny some day soon?" he whispered.  Danny nodded, letting himself be held.  "Good.  As long as you realize that."  He nuzzled him, then looked at Speed, who was frowning at them.  "What?"

"We turned him into us."

"Yeah, and?" Tony demanded.  "What's wrong with being us?"

"He was a nice and sweet guy," Danny said quietly.  "It'd be like turning Flack into us."

Tony snorted.  "That girl is pure evil, Danny."  He kissed him again.  "Think we can let him rest and adjourn to Speed's room?"

"Go ahead, I've got a headache," Ray said, one hand drifting up to cover his eyes.  "Thank you, guys."

"We'll put you through your paces later tonight," Tony warned.  He got up and hauled Danny, who winked at Speed to get him to follow.

Ray snickered at the bonding going on up the hall, and the complaints from a few females.  If that Don guy was anything like his sister, that was an interesting friendship.  Someone tapped on the door.  "What?" he called softly.

The door opened and a blonde girl walked in, coming over to lift his hand off his eyes.  "Hi, Ray.  I'm Audry."  He grinned at her. She was beautiful.  Green eyes the color of grass.  One zit marred the beautiful face from the tip of her nose but oh well.  She sat beside him.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."  He patted her on the arm.  "You don't have to baby me because Tony's helping me."

She snorted. "I'm not, I'm babying you because Tony's fucking Speed up the ass again," she assured him, making him blush.  "Not like they'll let us in there."

"What lock charm are they using?" a redhead called from the doorway.  "So we can go pounce."

"They'd get mad if I told you."

"Oh, please," the mini-Flack complained, walking up to Speed's room.  She pulled her wand and whispered something.  "You three are setting a bad example for my little brother. Someone's got to carry on the family name!"  The girls squealed and headed in there to pounce their guys, and Speed since he was so nice.  She locked them in using a very old lock charm then came back to Danny's room to talk to him.  "Hi, Ray.  I'm Stephi.  Forget everything they've said about me so far."  Then she smirked.

"They only said you were evil."

"Well, okay, they got that right.  Come on down."  She helped him up and downstairs to their common room, where her brother was staring around in awe.  "Donny, this is Ray. He's visiting from another reality."

"Hi, Don," Ray said, shaking his hand.  "You're going to be a great wizard some day."

"Cool.  When do I get to learn to fly?"

Stephi looked at him.  "What makes you think you can?" she snorted.  Ray pulled her down to whisper in her ear.  "Really?"  She looked at him.  "Interesting.  Okay."   She nodded.  "We can get them to teach you when they teach Ray."  He beamed and bounced a bit.  She put a hand on his head.  "Stop it, Tigger."

"I am not!"

"You are too!"

"Merlin, quit!  We can't have sex with as loud as you are!" Tony yelled.

"Good!" Stephi and Don called back.  "That way there's no little DiNozzo's running around polluting the populace!" she finished.  "Bastard."

"I'm tellin' dad you swear," Don taunted, smirking evilly at her.

"Try it, squirt, watch me turn you into a frog."

"Dad said if you ever changed me again you'd never sit and you'd have to shit babies out."

Danny came down, looking at Don, smirking a bit. "I like you, kid.  You're with us."  He walked him up back the stairs.  "Ray."  He waved and followed.  "Good.  Stay away from the mini-Flack.  She's an evil, evil bitch from the darkest pits of hell."

"To you too?" Don asked, looking serious.

Danny beamed at him. "Your sister's a nag and she whines and pleads."  He put them both in his room. "There, go over wand maintenance or something.  We'll be done in an hour, then go eat, then work with you both."

"Can you teach me to fly?" Don asked, giving him the biggest blue puppy eyes he'd ever seen. "Please?  It looks really neat and fun and I wanna learn."

"We're teaching Ray, I don't see why not," Tony said from the doorway.  "Sorry, gotta steal him back. He's still a bit grumpy."  He winked at Ray and took Danny back to their room to get back to their...bonding.

Ray looked at Don.  "Don't feel bad, they missed me too."

"Yeah, but it sucks that my Ma said for them to skip me on purpose."

Ray nudged him and grinned.  "Could be a lot worse, Don.  Really.  Think about learning it at your dad's age."

"Eww."  He shifted. "They took me to get my wand earlier.  It's still in the office while Dad worked out payment stuff.  Then I guess I'm over here."  He shrugged. "I have no idea how this works."  He looked up.  "Why do they call her the Mini-Flack when I'm younger?"

"Any older siblings?"

"Yeah, another sister.  She was here about eight years ago but she died."

"Maybe that's why."

"Oh.  But that was before their time."

"You never know," he said more gently, hugging him. "It'll be okay.  It's scary but wonderful."

"Sure.  Think I could have a dragon?"

"I don't know.  Maybe someday."  Don beamed at that and nodded.  Someone knocked on the door.  "What?"  The door opened and Stephi walked in.  "He wants a dragon."

"Of course he does.  Don't get your hopes up, they're rare as fuck."  She put the trunk in front of him. "You're with us.  The sorting bowler said so."  She looked him over.  "Come on.  We'll put you in your dorm."


"Crying.  I'm saving you misery and you'll get to see them this weekend.  Just like going to camp, Donny."

"Cool."  He smiled at Ray.  "Don't let them forget."

"I won't.  I wanna learn how to fly too."  Don beamed and took his trunk and his sister off.  "Hey, Stephi, is your cat Hova?"  She sighed and nodded.  "She's having kittens on Tony's bed."

"Yes!"  She ran that way, going to help her momma cat.  "Mirelle!  Come put my brother in the firstie's dorm!" she yelled. "My cat's having babies!"

"Eww!" Don called a minute later. "They're slimy!  And why does he have naked women on his walls?"

Tony walked out of the room he was in, going to remove both brats from his room and down to the common room, then slammed his door shut and locked it with a better charm this time, walking back to Speed's room shaking his head.

"Was he naked?" Flack asked his sister, who nodded. "How did he look like he was almost wearing clothes?"

"That was a very weak illusion, Donny.  I'll teach you how to do that one better."  She walked him up to his dorm, finding the new bed already in place.  She coughed and pointed at the spare blankets, making the kids get up to get them with a sigh.  "Like you'd get an extra bed for no reason?"

"We were hoping we could use it for girlfriends when we got one. All the other boys have a bed for that," one of them complained.

"Duffus, they use their own!" she complained.

"Tony's room is scary," Don told them.  "He's got naked girls all over his walls."

"What's Messer got on his?" another boy asked.

"Bet it's quidditch stuff," a third said dryly. Everyone knew that Messer should play pro when he graduated.

"A few brooms, a few naked pictures, and one of his mother and sister," Stephi told them.  "You think that's scary?  You should see Speed's.  His room is basically a shrine to naked people having sex.  He even arranged the pictures to make a collage in some spots."  They all gaped.  She smirked.  "They're all in Speed's room at the moment.  My cat's having babies on Tony's bed."

"And they're really slimy and gross," Flack added.

"Worse than newt's eyes?" one of the boys asked.

She considered it, then shook her head.  "No, about like the slimy inside of pig bladders."  They all shuddered at that.  "Okay, this is Donny.  He's my little brother.  He's the true mini-Flack, and they're going to work on his flying later.  You guys be nice to my baby brother or else.  Got me here?"  They all nodded, looking scared.  "Good."  She smirked.  "Make sure he doesn't turn into DiNozzo or Messer."  She walked out. "I'll be downstairs, Donny."

"Sure."  He closed the door, grimacing. "I don't like her, she's pushy."  They all laughed at that and came over to help him unpack and things. "When's dinner?"  The boys accepted him on that alone and it was all good to him.


"Interesting," Speed said.

"What is?" Tony asked.

"Ray flies like a kid between you and me and Flack flies like Messer."  He watched them play tag with Danny, who was flying rings but Donny was catching onto his moves and trying to cut him off with the same things now and then, while Ray was more straight forward and looping casually.

"Horatio played keeper," Tony offered, floating closer to him.  "Flack can be Danny's replacement on the team."  They smirked at each other.  "We'll have to turn him more evil than his sister is so he can hold his own against her."

"Sure," Speed agreed.  "Danny, make him your replacement," he called.  "He can beat up on his sister in practices!"  Danny smirked evilly and nodded. He spun and tagged Don on the head, getting a growl and the boy trying to pounce him.  "Not while you're flying!" Speed yelled. "That means you fall!"

"We can turn Flack into a mini-us," Tony decided smugly.  He watched as the rest of the team tramped in for their practice.  "Hey, guys, that's Danny's replacement," he called, pointing.  "Get over it now, Stephi."

"Fine.  Danny, do not let him fall!  I'll never hear the end of it if he breaks his neck."

"He pounced me!" he complained, landing and putting the kid back down.  "He pounced while flying."

She moaned and shook her head, then hauled off and hit her brother hard.  "Quit!"

"Yes, ma'am," he smarted off.  "Bastard."  He grinned at Danny.  "You can teach me how ta play?"

"Sure.  I'll be graduating after next year, by then you'll be great."

"Cool."  He beamed at him, then up at Ray, who was holding his broom.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Don."  He landed and dismounted, then looked at Danny. "Thank you."

"Not an issue.  Everyone should know how ta fly."  He ruffled his hair with a smirk.  "You guys run this one without us.  Got me here?"  The rest of the team moaned but nodded. "Good.  Stephi, no beating up on the chasers."  He took Ray and his boys with him, going to find a quiet area for them to practice in.  "Let's start small.  Light shield."  Ray cast it.  "Defensive return?"  Ray cast it....


Tony nudged Ray awake later that night, nodding behind him. Ray nodded and slipped out of the bed he had been assigned, heading after him.  They walked out of the house and up the halls, then down a steep set of stairs.  Tony looked at him, smirking a bit at the lack of questions.  Ray shrugged and pointed at the door, getting a nod and a wave.  He remembered how they opened it so he concentrated and stabbed his wand, muttering the incantation.  The door shifted off to the side.  Tony blinked, then looked at him.  "It's not supposed to do that," he noted quietly.

"Sorry."  He looked, then blinked a few times. "Is that what I think it is?"

Tony looked, then nodded. "Yeah, it's a dungeon, like for sex."  He closed the door, then did the incantation again.  This time the door opened properly.

"It was his pronunciation," Speed said without looking up.  He turned the page on his book.

Danny smirked at him from his place against a cupboard.  "So, Ray.  You got all the memories we had.  You got more than enough information on sex and stuff too.  If you mess up a birth control spell, it'd better be on purpose."  Ray nodded quickly, there was no way he'd be messing up birth control spells.  His family was scary.

Speed smirked at the kid, finally looking up.  "We're going to go over some of the more...obscure things that you probably saw."

"The summoning the demon to get the parts stuff or the stuff with the sex magic or the stuff with the barrier portals?"

"All of the above," Danny noted, nodding once at his mouthiness.  He could appreciate that.

Tony slid into his usual seat and put his feet up.  "It's also important that you know what other things we've learned over the years to help your people stop your purge.  The only way the military will listen is force.  They don't understand other means."

"Too true," Speed agreed, looking the boy over.  "So, for now, we're going to do a temporal stretching spell.  Then we'll go over the more...odd things in privacy."

"Agreed," Ray promised, sitting on the floor beside Tony.  "I didn't see one of those."

"I'm doing it now," Speed offered, going back to his book.  He frowned and got up, kicking open an old trunk and pulling out another one.

"I knew stealing books from my father's library was a good idea," Tony said with a grin for Ray.  "I wonder if he's missed them yet."

"Knowing your dad, he's got the good parts memorized," Danny pointed out dryly.  "Can I come stay with you guys over the summer?"

Tony looked at him.  "Should Sonny come back, I'm killing him this time, Danny.  I've had enough of your dad's idea of what your life should be.  There's no way a pureblood like you should bow down to someone like him.  It's foul."

"You sound like a death eater," Speed said quietly, looking at him.

"I don't like their methodology and I don't like their ideals, but they did have a point," he defended.  "The only person a wizard or witch should be *forced* to bend down to is someone who can beat them in a duel or a battle.  I'm sorry, but I'm not going to bend my knee to any little jumped up muggle with illusions of grandeur.  That's probably what started the purge in Ray's world."

"Actually, they caught a chaos sorcerer from what Uncle Horatio told my mother while I was doing some reading he had ordered me to do."  He shifted, getting more comfortable.  "He told my mom that the military had discovered demons and hellmouths.  They went after the demons as a force to aid the military, using control chips and things from what he said. They shared a look that I couldn't interpret and then mom shuddered.  While there, someone turned over a chaos sorcerer and they learned it from him.  Then things like satellites picking up people going into Diagon and things like that happened.  It hit the wrong ears, and bam, we're all hunted.  They're still probably trying to take over Miami in my realm."

Tony reached over, smoothing down his hair.  "We're going to make sure you can keep up with the curse breakers your uncle is working with," he said seriously.  "You and yours will be protected, Ray."

"I'm going to be protecting as many as I can."

"Good," Danny agreed, smiling at him.  "That's the right answer."  He walked over, making Ray look at him.  "Now all we gotta do is up your defense training."  Ray nodded at that.  "Plus teach you how to manipulate shit to do what you need it to do."

"Transfiguration...." he started slowly.

"Think of it like advanced transfiguration," Speed offered, coming back to set up things.  "Okay, we're setting it in this room and this room alone," he announced, moving on.  He got everything set up.  "I need you two."  They came over, taking the spellbook to look at the incantation, then took their spots.

Ray watched as the room seemed to expand, then felt something snap.  He grinned. It felt like he was weightless there for a minute and it felt tingly right now.

Danny looked at him.  "Less smirking, more badass moments.  C'mere."  Ray got up and walked over, coming to learn from his three teachers.  If his teachers in school were like this, he'd have been a prodigy.


Danny looked up as Ray joined him a few days later, smirking at him.  "Okay.  We're gonna send you home.  The only issue might be if we can't get you back across the reality line.  If we can't, you'll stay here but in the right time zone."  That got a nod and Ray sat across from him.  "Good boy.  If that happens, where we're puttin' you?  You find us.  I doubt I'm leaving New York, unless it's for a game.  By the way, I'll watch out and not fall."  Ray smirked a bit at that. "Quidditch is my life.  What can I say, I'm a jock?"  He shrugged a bit.  "Tony should be easier to find and Speed may still end up in Miami.  His line was looking pretty set when I did a star chart on him. You know how to apparate.  We taught you all the deadliest things so you don't have ta use 'em."  Ray nodded, he had been taught the unforgivables and he knew not to use them unless it was absolutely necessary.  "Good boy.  Now, let's get you home.  Come on."  He got up and took the book with him, Ray following.  They walked back into the practice area, finding it all ready to go.  Tony closed the pentagram behind them and then took his place.  Speed tossed over his backpack with the stuff Ray had pulled to him.

"Nox," Speed cast, taking out the overhead light.  "Ignus."  The candles and the symbols on the floor lit, making Ray shiver.  "It's all right.  Just calm, center, and think of home, Ray."

Ray nodded, doing that, finding his thoughts of home.  His uncle, the right one.  His mother.  The beaches.  The station.  He heard the chanting going around him and felt it moving through him, not realizing his lips were following along.  He felt the wrench and moaned, doubling over as he landed.  He looked up.  He was in a cave.  He walked out to the entryway slowly, finding his Uncle standing there.  Only not his uncle, unless he had lost a bit more hair than the last time he had seen him.  "Uncle Horatio?"

"Well, that's the second time you called me that."  He smirked at him.  "Danny and I talked way back when, Ray.  He said he didn't think he had gotten you more than temporally centered.  Come here."  Ray came over, joining him.  "Gringotts let me borrow this for a few hours.  This will take you wherever I am."  His nephew smiled and hugged him. "I can only hope the you here turns out as well."  He patted him on the back. "Go home, nephew."

"Yes, Uncle H."  He walked into the mirror, feeling like he was swimming through jell-o.  Until it finally cleared and he came out the other side.  He looked at himself and grimaced.  "Eww!"  He cast the cleaning charm.  "Better.  Much better.  Clean clothes are always better than slimy."

"Shit, he sounds like a young Tony," Speed said, staring at him. "Ray?"  He smirked and nodded, then turned and stepped out of the way with a wave back at his uncle.  The portal closed, leaving him there.  "How in the hell!"

"Oh, gee, alternate realities," he said blandly, walking over to the table they were all at.  He looked at his uncle. "The you there back when they were juniors said to remind you of when you were twenty-one for some reason.  I think he thought you had forgotten what fun was."  His uncle smirked at him.  He shrugged and smirked back.  "Yeah, I jumped realities."

"Been there, done that, didn't like the vamp me," Alex called from his spot.   He cast a hex at Ray, watching him rebound it then stop it and end it. "Good job, Ray."

"Yup, he learned off the younger us," Danny sighed.

"Good, he could use it," Horatio agreed.  "It's only been a few hours.  Gibbs just got here.  Do you need a rest?"

"No, but I'm missing Don's sister.  She was always picking on me."  Don blushed at that.  "Sorry."

"No, I heard what she was like from their memories."

"Yeah, me too mostly."  The trio looked at him and he shrugged.  "Does he still have that little sticking out mole?"

"Yup," Speed agreed, going back to his reading.  "Go take a nap, Ray, or go eat.  It's gonna be a while before we can do anything."

"Sure."  He grinned at Alex. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not a bit, Ray.  More of you means my house elves go into orgasmic flutters of happiness.  You can bed down across from your uncle."  That got a nod.  "Go eat, kid. You're that age."  Ray headed out, following the food smells.

"I wonder if you had that bite mark there," Stella offered.  Danny slammed his book shut and glared at her.  She grinned. "Think he found out?"

"No!" he snorted.  Something floated out of midair and hit the table in front of him, then one hit in front of Speed, then one in front of Tony and one for Horatio.  "Huh.  Progress reports.  All right."  He opened his, blinking at the flash of the memories he hadn't had.  He relaxed and smiled, nodding.  "Thank you, me."  He read the note explaining that, being happy with himself and their protege's progress.  "Hey, Don, they made him go find you and test you again."

"Cool.  Was I still a cop?"

"Demented quidditch player but you went LEO when you retired due to a back injury," Tony read. "You went CSI."

"Aw, man!" Flack complained.

"Tough," Danny taunted.  "Ooh, they found you, Mac.  That was enough to stop the purge when it started.  Someone was close enough to erase the memories before it go more than one person.  You made sure of it through the commanders who knew."  Mac smirked at that.

"Geez, Horatio, I never knew you had more women than we did combined," Speed complained. "Why don't you date now?"

Horatio blushed a bit.  "I did not."

"You did so," Speed said, switching their notes.  Since his had been for Horatio.  He chuckled at the message to himself.  The other Speed had planned it that way. "Hey, I settled down with Kate, Tony.  Danny got Stephi after Daphne died.  A few years later.  Tony, you're still with Audry and having baby DiNozzo's every now and then while fending off the evil grandfather who tries to corrupt them. Apparently you're halfway to a quidditch team, the mini-Flack's got two with brood boy there, and I've got one with Kate, which made her retire and sigh in misery almost every day because she's bored.  Poor Gibbs, he had to deliver the kid."  Gibbs moaned at that, shaking his head.  "McGee got to do the blessing?  Uh-huh.  Okay."  He shook his head and smirked at them.  "It gives me an idea of how to stop this."

Danny looked down at him.  "A *good* idea?"

"No, a wicked and naughty one," he shot back with an evil grin.

Tony looked at him, then got up and moved away.  "The last time you had that look, we went to Hawaii.  I got my ass nearly killed for that."

"*You* nearly got killed?" Danny said dryly.  "Please!  Do you know what my old man did ta me!"

"How many native girls came back with the 'I'm pregnant' statement?" Ron teased.

"We're more careful than that.  We found a month-long infertility charm," Speed said with a renewed evil smirk.  "We overshot it by three hours, but oh well."  Gibbs moaned again, sounding like he was about to cry.  "Hey, boss, you need drugs?" Speed asked.

"I need the mental picture of you three in an on-the-beach orgy out of my head," he complained.  He held his head, then he felt fingers coming up and suddenly he was being tickled.  "Damn it, Abby!" he shouted, getting away from her.

"You said you needed a distraction," she said innocently, smiling at him.

"Not like that!"  He went to hide by Alex, getting a smirk from Draco.  "Are you sure they aren't curse breakers too?"

"Tony might've made a good one with a lot of work, but no," Alex sighed. "Think someone should wake Yelina up and tell her Ray's back?"  Horatio shook his head.  "No?"

"No, not with the sleeping pill she took.  She'll be cranky."  He folded up his letter.  It was a pointed reminder of what he wasn't doing right in his life.  He'd have to fix that.  He looked at the Ungodly Trio, as Mac called them.  Danny smirked at him and got out of the way so he could see Speed's ass and Tony's front.  "Not funny," he mouthed.  Danny smirked.

"Quit staring at that spot, Horatio," Gibbs ordered.  "Mine."

"I am?" Tony asked dryly.  "Since when, boss?"

"Since that's what'll drive her nuts the most," he pointed out dryly.  "My girlfriend knows by the way.  She suggested it.  She has a truly wicked mind."

"She should," Tony assured him.  "I'll play along if you want, boss.  Not like it'd be the first time."  He winked at him, then kissed Speed.

"Eww, onions," he said when he could breathe.  "Brush your teeth, Tony."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Plus, swallow some of the drool first."  He walked back to his seat to Danny giggling.  "We could do that," he noted.

Danny looked at him.  "We could," he agreed.  "It'd be a massive undertaking to make someone think that they were going nuts."

"Not really," Gibbs pointed out.  "That the final or the first step?"

"First. Second is Mac calls on some of his old friends," Speed said, looking at him.  He got a nod.  "Already have?"

"I have.  They're in Virginia.  My contacts can get a rescue unit in there within hours.  The regular military doesn't like this idea either."  Speed grinned and nodded at that.

"Can't say as I like it either," Gibbs noted dryly.  "Magic instead of guns?  It's a nice fairytale but the other side'll have guns.  I'll want my own to protect myself."  They shared a look.  "Nice job hiding it, Taylor."

"I only got the occasional call to take memories and get information.  I'm not that strong."

"Which means I get to do the memory charm on Lindsey to drive her away from magic," Tony said firmly.

"Yeah, well, I'm almost more scared at the moment of Wolfe and Rosenburg getting together," Speed complained. Everyone stared at him.  "The HP's in the city decided she was his new pet."

"That's a scary thought," Xander agreed.   He burst out giggling.  "Oooh, he's in for a major life shaking event."  He shook his head, calling Nick to warn him so he could let his buddies back in the Legacy know.  "While I've got Nick on the line, anyone need a message passed?"

"Yeah, can I please have my girl back?" Ron complained.  "The quickie yesterday wasn't nearly enough."

Alex passed that back and got a 'fat chance' from Philip.  "Nope, sorry."

"I wouldn't mind the dragons," Gibbs offered.  "It'd give Abby something to do since Harry's there."

Alex passed that to Harry, who cackled and promised he'd work on that.  Alex looked at them.  "Would buying a senator to decry these people help?"  Everyone stared at him.  "What?  Do you think I haven't kept anything that I've taken out of tombs over the years?"  He got up and went to the fireplace to call the bank. "Gruinth."  He appeared, blinking at him.  "Would buying a senator in the US to decry some of these covert gatherings help?"

"It could," he agreed.  "Start a small leak, get the plans known.  Yes, I do believe it could work."  He disappeared.

"Mac, get your people to rescue them within the next 72," Xander ordered.  "Speed, put yours into play by then too."  They went to make the calls they needed.  Xander grinned at Gibbs.  "Who did you think planned our assaults?"

"I would've given up at the first demon," he admitted, sitting back down at Xander's wink.  "So, dragons?"

"On their way.  I'm being a good boy."

Draco gave him an odd look.  "You're what?"

"Okay, I'm trying to be a good boy."

"Again, you're what?" he asked dryly.  He stood up and hauled Alex to his feet.  "Come along, Alex.  You apparently need a dose of sanity."  He walked him upstairs, taking him up to have him, again, and calm him down before he got too evil and mean.

"If I ever find someone who has me like that, I want to be shot non-fatally so I have the   time to realize that it's a bad thing," Horatio said quietly.  Gibbs burst out laughing, nodding at that.  Ray came back in so he smiled at him. "Your mother's upstairs resting."

"I figured she was.  You're too calm for her to be taken and it's not noisy enough for her to be awake."  He hugged him around the neck.  "Uncle Horatio, can you talk to me about girls and boys and why it's a bad idea for me to go be a club whore?"

"It's a bad idea, Ray.  Even with anti-disease charms, disease spotting charms, and all that, things can still get through.  Remember, your parents married because you were on the way."

"Good to know."  He kissed him on the temple.  "But I still *need* someone, Uncle Horatio."  He let him go and walked off.   "I'm not even going to be picky yet."

Horatio looked at Danny, who was chuckling. "You three warped him horribly."

"Hey, Speed and Tony were the ones that had shrines to sex in their rooms.  Speed made a collage out of wizarding photos that he changed around and positioned."

"Danny!" Speed complained.

"I'm sure my sister, the perv, went to stare often," Don said dryly.  Danny nodded at that.  "What was on yours?"

"A few brooms, a few girls, nothing much. I went for simpler stuff.  Speed's wall art took up a suitcase by itself.  His mother was horrified the time she popped up for a visit and he hadn't heard so no one did the obscuring charms.  She thought he only had a few."

"My mother yelled until I was black and blue from the sonic vibrations," Speed sighed.  "Then the girls came up to see why she was yelling. Your sister pointed out it was better than me sleeping around as much as I had been."  Don moaned at that.  "By the way, your sister?  Hints badly."

"Yeah, I know.  Any of you three know who the father of my niece is?  Kinda obvious it ain't her daddy."

"There's about three really good choices," Tony offered.

"Williams.  I had magic sensing on my glasses back then.  She came back from the Astronomy tower pregnant and Williams was bragging he had finally bagged her to the guy who ended up her husband, who didn't want to break her in himself by the way."  He turned the page.  "That's why I kicked her off the team, Flack."  He felt everyone staring at him.  "What?  It was a part-time job to come back and ref the games while I was in college."  He shrugged and got back to it.

"I did the same while I was in school," Horatio agreed.  "The headmistress liked us."

"She did.  The batty old broad was all right as long as you played quidditch and you wore a lot of blue."  Horatio laughed at that.  "She was.  Wonder what'll happen to the new battleaxe."

"Not a clue, Danny.  Hopefully a change but not a clue."

Abby suddenly squealed and hopped up, heading for the doors outside.

"Sounds like Harry snuck off," Ron said dryly, looking.  "Oooh, and there's my baby too."  He got up and headed to pounce her and have her in one of the storage caverns.

Don watched. "Nothing says love like having her on a stack of unholy seventeenth century gold statues that pinch," he joked.

Gibbs shook his head.  "Let's hope you're talking about those two cute things?"

"Yeah, Harry's kissing Abby's hand and cheek as he walks her back this way with the dragons."  He got back to his reading.  He still had to brush up on some of the lock spells.

Gibbs looked down at the creature invading his lap, smiling.  "Hi, Beaua.  Missed me?"  He scratched her head, earning a happy lap dragon.

"Keeping dragons is still illegal, Jethro," Horatio said with a tolerant smirk.

Mac looked down at him.  "So, how wild were you in your youth, Horatio?  I heard all about your school being full of easy women and guys who'd do anything in Times Square."

"No, that was our year," Danny assured him.  "Mostly Tony, but our year."

"Hey!" Tony complained.  "I'm not the one they almost picked up for prostitution, thank you!"

"You're the one who charmed my pants to be that tight," Speed reminded him.  All the bosses looked at them.  "What?  He did."

"What did Danny do?" Don asked.

Danny smirked at him.  "Remember that night that you don't remember really well?"  Don nodded slowly.  He had seen that when they were sharing memories. "That.  That's why wizards don't drink tequila."

"I thought it was the dried frog taste the next morning," Mac complained.

"Tequila is bad for you guys?" Gibbs asked.

"Something in tequila works against magic, Jethro," Horatio said blandly, going back to his reading.  "It makes us giddy, high, and unable to control it."

"Tony ended up in Africa healing some sick villagers and dancing around the fire because he was possessed," Danny said happily, beaming at Tony.  "How many spirits did we pull out of you?"

"Twelve, thirteen, something like that," he mumbled, ducking his head.

"Yeah, Danny, let's talk about how it took us nearly a month to find you because you were in Mexico drinking it from the really old stock and using your girlfriend of the moment as a cup," Speed shot back.  Danny just beamed sweetly and shrugged.

"You were doing what?" Mac asked.  Speed gave him a look.  "Her naval at least?"

"Nope," Tony said, shaking his head.  "Tilted her hips up, filled her up with about a shot, then licked it out."  He turned the page.  "On the beach, which was at least a private beach."

"We have no idea what he did for the rest of that trip," Speed offered.  "Neither does he."

"Not like she complained," Danny pointed out.  "She was having fun."

Stella reached over and swatted him hard.  "Behave!"



"Yes, mother."  He grinned at her and got back to work, he had to help find the charms to up the shield over the valley. "Have we heard from McGee and them yet?"

"We have.  They've figured out what they need to block but not how," Tony offered.  He wrote it down and passed it down to Danny, who sighed and got up to get a different book and bring it back.  "Remember, it can't block cellphones or the satellite dish."

Danny nodded. "I know."  He got to work designing the charm with Horatio's help.

Ray walked in, finishing his roll.  "Uncle Horatio, would it be wrong to grab my girlfriend when we go back and kiss her stupid to prove that she's mine?"

"No, Ray," he ordered.  "Make sure she wants you first or she can claim sexual harassment and get you kicked out."

"Yes, sir.  Can I go clubbing while we're here?"

Everyone in the room stared at him.  "Bad idea," Tony told him.  "Could lead to much trouble."

Stella looked him over.  "You're not quite old enough yet, Ray.  Give it a few more months and I'll let Danny and Don take you out with them."  She smiled at Mac when he came in.  "Are we set?"

"Nearly.  They're gathering."  He sat down and smiled at Ray. "You'll be grown up soon enough, don't rush it."

"Fine."  He walked off again, going to find his Uncle's room so he could take a nap.

Horatio moaned and shook his head.  "That boy is going to drive us insane."

"Yup," Stella said happily, reaching over to pat him on the shoulder.  "Remember your own wild youth, Horatio.  Then add today's looser morals."

He gave her a pitiful look.  "Don't do that to me."

"Sorry."  She got up and kissed him on the cheek.  "Be a good boy."

"I try very hard."

"I know you do," she whispered.  "Try less hard.  Shock Eric and Speed to death."  He smirked at that wicked thought.


Everything was finally arranged and set, the purges were stopping.  The CSI decided they had to go back to work.  They called their respective departments to get an 'all clear' and headed back late at night.  That way they could show up like nothing had happened.  Horatio decided to take Ray out, teaching him the contraceptive charm, the disease finding and anti-disease charms, and the one that would render him infertile for a month.  Once they had both applied them, they headed out together.  Ray had gotten very good at transfiguration.  Nearly as good in charms but transfiguration was his area.  Horatio had slipped into some clothes he hadn't gotten to wear in years; taking him out to his sort of place, which was clean but very dirty underneath.  He looked at his nephew before going in.  "Your mother finds out I know this place exists as more than a rumor and I'm going to make you a girl and sell you."  Ray beamed and nodded.  "Good."  He walked them up to the door, presenting his pass.  The guard had to run it, giving him an odd look.  Most people never brought passes that old.  "Work.  This is my nephew.  Just old enough."

"Sure," he agreed, handing it back. "Not an issue."  He let them inside, watching them disappear into the diverse, party heavy crowd.

Ray stayed near his uncle for a bit, then slowly got interested in his own dance partner, letting her move him off.  He felt someone against his back and glanced back, grinning at the guy, then winked at the girl in front of him, getting a laugh.  "Newbie but I'm good with the knowledge."  He scanned them both, both clean, both more than ready.  It was going to be a good night.  He let them dance him off, doing whatever he wanted to.  He did run into Eric there and blushed.  "Um, hi!" he offered with a wave.  "Uncle Horatio's that way!"  Then he ducked back into the room he had just come out of, getting smacked across the back with the whip.  "Ow, but okay."  His former bedmate stared at him.  "One of my uncle's coworkers."  They invited him back, showing him that a bit of pain now and then was a good thing.

Eric found Horatio in the middle of a pack of girls and just stared.  He couldn't do that.  He walked over, smiling at one.  She peeled off for him and made him a happy guy.  Horatio gave him a look like he was poaching.  "Sorry, H."

"Eric.  Behave or else."

Eric shivered at the look in his eyes.  This was not the Horatio he saw at work.  This was a very horny, slutty Horatio that had one woman already on her knees and begging in front of him.  He danced the girl off, making her his safety for now.

"You know that stud?" she called.

"He's my boss!"

"Oops!  Well, maybe he'll give you some too," she said happily, latching onto him to dance with him.

That was a thought Eric decided to leave alone.


Across town, Ryan poured Willow another drink, then himself one, looking at her.  "You good?"

"I'm still pretty sober," she admitted.  "That's why I can hear the music twanging."  He grinned at that.  "You are a lot more fun than the slutty Xander.  No one but Tara ever wanted to go to a club where you didn't dance."  He patted her on the hand.  "Did you have someone like Tara?"

"Long time ago," he sighed, nodding.  "Since then I've stayed pretty casual."  He stroked some of her hair behind her ear.  "Be a good girl, Willow.  We'll see what happens."  His phone rang and he looked at it, then groaned.  "Wolfe," he answered sharply.  "No, Frank, I'm a bit drunk.  I don't know, is Horatio back in town?"  Willow nodded.  "Where?" he mouthed.  She wrote down the address and he blinked.  "Horatio goes there?"


He listened to Frank wanting to know.  "Willow saw him, Frank.  I don't know, probably stress relief.  Ask him in the morning if he's got a hangover."  He hung up and looked at her again.  "I'll get in trouble for that tomorrow."

"You didn't tell him where he was, you'll be fine."  She kissed him on the cheek and grinned.  "This is fun and nice. I haven't had nice fun in a while."

He grinned. "I'll remember that."  She beamed back and sipped her iced tea while he drank his.  There was no way he was getting drunk, so the little lie was okay.


Eric watched Ray walk in the next afternoon, blinking at him.  "He's a lot more confident," he told Horatio since he was beside him.

"He's also walking like he had a lot of fun last night."  He looked at Eric.  "Did you?"

"I didn't think you'd mind that one girl, Horatio."  Horatio gave him a look. "Next time I won't poach."

"Good boy, Eric."  They watched as Ryan walked past where they were standing.  "Someone else had some fun."

"Frank said he was out with Willow."

"Interesting.  Any other good news?"

"Yeah, Speed's walking like Ray."  He looked down at Trace, where Speed was still standing up.

"To quote someone else, Love is all good."  Horatio walked off smirking, going to meet his nephew, who his mother was still wary of but getting closer again.  "What's wrong?"

"My girlfriend asked if I had a good vacation, a few of the bullies tried to say I had to have a permanent viagra pump inserted, and the science teacher thinks the platypus is a reptile.  Kissed her, stunned her stupid and wet, kissed him, stunned him hard and moaning, but he's not gay, and corrected the teacher.  For which I got detention for the next three days.  Even though the principal agreed with me, he said my way of proving it wasn't that good of an idea."

"The textbook?" he asked hopefully.  Ray nodded, grinning at him.  "Good boy.  How was it without your wand?" he asked quietly.

"Better. Since Mac and Jethro helped me with my self defense a few days ago I'm much easier without out,"

"Good."  He patted him on the face.  "Why else are you here?"

"My keys don't work.  I have no idea why and neither does mom."

"I'll take you over there."   He took him out to the hummer and home, watching his nephew try his key.  Horatio swished his wand, unlocking it.  Ray smirked at him so he smirked back.  It was nice being yourself.

The End.

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