Baby's Big Day
Cassandra looked around her room, pouting at the plainness of it. Not that it was plain, but she was pretty bored and she couldn't quite figure out how to make the room pretty colors yet. It wasn't that she knew what interior decorating was but her father had promised her she could change thing's colors some day and she was a bored toddler. She sighed and looked around again. She'd already looked at all her books. Almost all the uncles and aunts had left again. She even had new toys, books, and treats, but she was still bored and she'd already made things explode. That auntie was really funny sometimes. She snuck out of her room and went into the new babies' room, pushing a chair over so she could stare at them. They were really small. She looked around, expecting her father to pop in and tell her not to wake them up again. He'd done that many times already.
She pouted at them but they couldn't play yet. Daddy said that they'd play with her when they were older, but not yet. That did give her an idea though. What had the neat uncle who did the magic stuff say? Hmm. Oh, yeah, magic was like wishing. He had ignored the odd looks a few of the other uncles and an aunt had given him and told her that all she had to do was to think hard enough about something and it would happen. So she thought really hard about how to make herself unbored. Something came flying toward her and she squealed, grabbing the blanket. Her daddy had made her this in case something bad were to happen, so she could get to an uncle's house. Was boredom something bad? She tried to consider it but decided if it was enough to make her wish up magic stuff then it must be bad for her. So she carefully found the latch she had watched her mommy use the night before to lower the side of the crib and climbed in to sit at the twins' feet. They were kinda cute for being so tiny, but they were easy enough to put onto the blanket and she could sit on the end of it too. Then she said the word her daddy had told her to use if she was ever in trouble. "Home!"
They zipped off, making her giggle and laugh as the moving spell moved them and the world rushed away around them. That was really neat. She liked this! She'd have to do it again!
Blair Sandburg, present baby and wife sitter, looked up slowly as he felt the magic go off, getting up to investigate. It hadn't been an apparation, there wasn't a 'pop' of displaced air. It wasn't a charm because Emilia was still asleep and he had been reading. 'San wasn't old enough to do more than the occasional outburst of magic yet. He headed up to check on Emilia, thinking that maybe she had woken up and summoned herself something to drink, or maybe a snack, but she was fast asleep. He walked past Cassandra's room and paused, then went inside when he didn't hear anything. No baby. He checked under the bed. In the closet. Behind the dresser. In the toilet. In the bathtub. In the toilet again, because babies were odd, like cats and dogs, and liked to play in toilets. In the closet again. In the pile of dirty clothes. Then he went to check on the twins. He found their crib railing down and no babies. He searched the room, just in case they had levitated or something else spectacular, but then had to admit that they weren't in there. But, he was sure it hadn't been an apparation. He searched the rest of the house, hoping it was someone playing with the babies to give him time to nap, but no luck. Not even in the lab, which he had to scan from the doorway due to Greg's wards. Cassandra loved the lab, yet she wasn't in there. She wasn't in front of the tv, or in the kitchen, or in the back yard, or drowning in the pool, or in a lounge chair, or in her daddy's favorite chair, or behind or underneath the tv, or in the coat and broom closet, or anywhere! "Oh, damn," he hissed, shaking his head as he went to wake Emilia.
Telling her would be much easier than telling Greg he'd lost his three kids. She'd only kill him. Greg might torture him.
"Um, 'Mil?" he called softly from the doorway.
"Where's the kids?"
She looked at him. "Aren't you supposed to be babysitting?"
"And I was," he assured her quickly, "but I felt some magic going off and I came to check and now I can't find them. It wasn't an apparation," he said quickly as she tried to sit up, "but I don't know what it was. All the brooms are here, the twin's railing is down, and I tore up the house looking for them. I even checked inside and under the fridge, they're not here!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, 'Mil, I tried!" he said as she started to stand up. "No, don't!" he said, hurrying over to push her back down. "I'll search again."
"Sandburg," she growled. He backed up and looked scared. "Thank you. Now, help my big ass out of this bed." He helped her up and let her lean on him. "Let's start in 'San's room."
"I kinda tore it up looking for her. She wasn't even in the toilet." She gave him an odd look but he didn't catch it. "I'm so *so* sorry, 'Mil. Please don't kill me?" he pleaded.
"We'll see, Sandburg." She walked into the older child's room and frowned at the mess. "Did you do this or did she?"
"I did," he admitted sheepishly. "I used to like to hide in the laundry."
"One of these days I'm going to hurt your mother," she muttered, searching it magically. She found the traces of magic and followed it back to the crib, staring at the chair and how the railing was down. An idea clicked in her head and she went back to Cassandra's room, then swearing came out. "I knew teaching her about that portkey was a bad idea," she yelled. Blair came running so she pointed at an empty spot in the drawer. "Did you open that?" He slowly shook his head. "Are you sure, Blair?"
"Very," he admitted, looking at her. "What portkey?"
"We crated an emergency portkey out of a blanket for the kids," she said impatiently. "They're at Alex's if there's a problem since he's got the best guarded house of all of us." He gave her an awed look. "Do not start. You get to tell Greg that you lost his three kids," she said, going back to her bed. This was not her fault and she wasn't getting between the guys.
Blair swallowed and picked up the phone, dialing the station. "Um, Greg?" he asked, trying to sound casual. "Remember how you had three kids?"
Greg moved the phone to look at it, then put it back up to his ear. "What do you mean *had*?" he growled. "I had better still have three kids, Sandburg. They had better be human, happy, and healthy too." He listened to the stammering admission and groaned, putting his head down on the desk. "Sandburg, run," he advised, hanging up the phone. He called on his tattoo but he didn't reach anyone, not even Tipsy. Of course, it was only about dawn over there.
"What's wrong, Greg?" Warrick asked as he walked in with a small box.
"Have you ever had one of those conversations that just makes your head ache?" he asked into the table top.
"Yes, but the last one of those I had was about your friend." He looked around. "Mortimer's not in today?"
"No, he decided to stay with the twins," he said tiredly, lifting his head. "My daughter took her emergency portkey to England with the babies," he explained. "Blair let them escape."
"I'd be making some new Blair-skin robes," he said dryly. "You need to run over there?"
"No one's up," he said, eyes wide. "The twins and my daughter won't land for another half an hour at best. There's no telling what's going to be going on. I sent them to Alex and he could be in the middle of having sex and I can't wake him."
"Doesn't he have a phone?"
Greg smiled. "Thanks, man, you're my sanity. Put it down in front of Cat's." Warrick smiled and did so then went away again, leaving him free to find his calling card and call England. "Alex?" he said into the answering machine. "Get up! You've got incoming!"
Alex heard the phone ring and growled, but it didn't stop it. So he let it hit the answering machine instead. He barely heard the message, he had the volume turned down, but he did recognize the voice on some level and the message of 'incoming' was an old one. One dangerous enough to get him out of bed long enough to check on the wards. They were fine so he went back to bed. At least until one of them started to ring a few snores later. Then he growled at it again and stomped over to reset it. It was probably a wandering unicorn. They did it because they knew it'd wake him up. He was sure of it. He flopped back down into the bed, pulling his Draco bear closer to hold tighter. Then he let out a contented sigh and went back to sleep.
Cassandra jerked as the blanket landed, doing the good big sister thing and checking on her baby brothers first. They were fine and looked kinda happy, if a bit green. They were cuddled up to each other again and were making happy baby noises so she guessed they were fine. She looked around and squealed, recognizing this back yard. She loved this place! It was even neater than the station or the lab! She got up to toddle inside, startling one of the house elves awake.
It gave her a scared look, then looked outside. It went running after giving an order to get the little girl some milk. She loved milk. The house elf ran into the Master suite and into the only occupied bedroom, starting from the doorway to wake him. "Master?" he called softly, thinking maybe it had been a bad night. The sheets were very rumpled and the room didn't smell like they had mated. "Master?" he asked, moving slightly closer, getting a bit louder this time. "Sir? Problems that need Master's attention please," he promised. Still nothing, not even a grunt. Not even from the blonde male wife. Usually he'd be up by now as well. He moved closer, just out of grabbing range, which was quite dangerous first thing when Master got up. He was not a happy morning person in the least. "Master? We's have problems," he called louder, nearly shouting now. "We needs Masters downstairs." That got a small grunt, but nothing else. So he did what he really hadn't wanted to do, he reached out a slim, thin finger and poked his master's back. The Master reacted by grabbing it by the throat and dangling it off the floor. "Girl," he gurgled, pointing toward the kitchen. "Baby. Travel, babies!"
Xander growled and put it aside so he couldn't toss it then curled up next to Draco again. "Tell the damn unicorns to feed their own kids."
"Not unicorns, sir. Babies. Girl babies and boy babies."
Draco lifted his head over Xander's side. "What girl babies? There's not that many of them that we know," he asked dryly.
"Squeaky, squealy one," he explained. "Babies out back too! Need help! We not know babies!"
"What?" Xander demanded. "Either speak in human or go deal with it."
"I do believe somehow Cassandra is back," Draco told him, putting his head back down again. He stole a kiss, smirking at the nearly trademark squeal floating up the stairs. "That does sound like her."
Xander groaned as he got out of the bed and pulled on pajamas, heading down to deal with the baby. Not that he dealt with babies very well. The house elves probably knew more about babies than he did, and they'd never been around any in their lives. "Cassandra?" he asked plainly. She grinned up at him and took another drink of her milk. "Why are you here?"
"Bored!" she said happily, giving his legs a hug. "Come see, Unclies!" She led him to the back yard, letting him see what had made her squeal. Two of the unicorn babies had come up to lie down on the blanket with her brothers. "They pretty!"
"Yeah, they are," he agreed, moving closer. One of them lowered its horn and snorted at him, making 'I'm going to kill you' noises in challenge. "Okay then." He backed away slowly, shaking his head as he went inside. "Where is your father?"
"Daddy work, Unclie Blair read," she said with a grimace. "No read me, but he reads lots."
"Yeah, he does that a lot," he agreed bitterly, glaring at the unicorn foals. "Guys, I need those kids. You're going to have to get over it." They both glared at him and shifted closer to rest against the babies. "Oh, shit," he said in disgust, going back inside. "'San, sit down and look at books or something while I take a shower. We'll take care of you until your father or mother can come get you." He picked up the phone, dialing a long distance overseas number, getting someone he didn't expect. "Grissom, it's Alex. Is the doting father there?" he asked bitterly. "No, they're here," he sighed, looking out the back window. "Two of them are in the garden and I can't get to them, but they're here." He heard the quiet comment. "No, they're being babysat by two unicorns. I can't get near them," he admitted honestly. "Cassandra's presently scaring the servants." He smirked. "I'm sure she is, but this isn't exactly a kid friendly home. I wanted to run around naked today and pounce my mate since Ron's at home. So can you tell Greg to come get his precious offspring as soon as possible? Thanks." He hung up and went to try and get the twins again so they could be watched by things that could feed them, but the mother that was coming up to check on her foals wouldn't let him within six feet of them. "In case you hadn't noticed, they're human babies," he tried. She glared at him and nuzzled one, making it coo and giggle. "Fine. Whatever. I can't touch them? Can anyone?" The mother glared again so he sighed and went inside.
Little did he know that the house elf had called out for some advice from a fellow house elf that used to work with them, and now worked with a set of twins and a set that had just been born. So of course Cassandra talked to her friends while the house elves talked over the floo.
"Unicorns have brovers," Cassandra told the male twin. "They nap pretty. You should come see." She didn't see the look the house elf shot her.
"If Mommy say okay," the girl said with a wicked grin. It was mostly for show of course. "We watched by Unctle Oliver."
"Wow. He nice," 'San agreed. "He come play maybe?"
"Maybe," she agreed, looking behind her. She giggled and turned back around. "He nap," she said with a wink at her brother. They disappeared and their house elf decided that they probably went to torture the babysitter some more. The two house elves continued to chat. Even though both houses had multi-line floos and they knew they were keeping the connection open.
And just like a muggle phone, if you picked up an extension, you could get in on the conversation.
Or in the case of the floo, go to another extension on an open line.
So the twins brought their own babies out carefully, toddling them out into the back yard to see the pretty unicorns too. They liked them.
"Oooh, pwetty," Joxer said in awe.
Iolaus, her twin brother, laughed and pointed, nearly dropping his baby. "He nurse!" he said with a giggle. The mother unicorn stood up and came over to nuzzle them, taking the babies carefully one at a time and brought them back to the blanket to let them play with the other two, leaving the older kids to run and play together.
The first Xander knew of it was the scream that nearly made him drop his morning tea. He hesitantly looked outside, then groaned and shook his head. "No!" he whimpered, going back upstairs to bed. "Draco, if I have to suffer, you have to suffer," he announced from the doorway. His mate rolled onto his stomach, presenting a tempting target, but the squeals were coming closer. "Draco!" Draco sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning as he stretched before looking at him. "We're being overrun by those little people who think I'm good. What are you going to do about it?"
"Why do I have to do anything about it?" he asked plainly. "They're not my children." He winced at a loud scream of delight. "Oh, shit." Xander nodded. "That was Iolaus, wasn't it?" Xander nodded again. "Oh, fuck me, Alex. Get her parents up! She's experienced! So are those bloody fathers of theirs!"
"That's a good idea," he agreed happily, touching his tattoo. He got one sleepy 'go away, not time yet' and sent another call, this time with the image of the unicorns around the babies and their kids stripping each other in the garden as they played tag.
Draco got up and looked out the window that looked down on the garden. "Since when did their twins come?" he asked, looking confused. "And why is a mother unicorn nursing them?"
Xander groaned and climbed back into the bed, covering his head. "I'm not dealing with that. Let someone else do it. We have aunts and house elves."
Draco decided that sounded like a splendid idea so he crawled back in as well.
One of the Weasley twins woke up and poked the other across their wife's sleeping body. "Why is the house so quiet?" he asked. "We should have been pounced by now."
The other let out a sleepy chuckle. "Alex is having bad nightmares about kids coming to stay with him and playing dirty tag in the garden."
"Why?" Tipsy asked with a yawn.
"Huh?" the sleeping twin murmured, curling up next to her neck to nuzzle. "Sleep now. Twins'll be up soon, love."
"They should be up by now," she noted, looking at their alarm clock. She looked at the awake twin. "Think they're giving us a present by sleeping in?" He nodded and snuggled in again, holding her just as tightly as his twin. "Good boys," she agreed, patting them on the back. "Good boys. We'll sleep in until they pounce us."
The alarm went off but one of them, the awake one, sent it crashing into the wall.
"Good shot," the sleepy one mumbled, going back to sleep.
Greg slammed open the front door of his house, making the nearby windows rattle. "Sandburg!" he roared.
"You told me to run but Emilia needed stuff," he squeaked, apparating off.
Greg stormed up the stairs, heading to his daughter's room. He noticed the mess briefly, and decided that Blair would be picking it up. His daughter didn't like messes that much. He found the second blanket they had, frowning at the spell on it. "They went to the school!" he called. "This is the one I charmed to go to Alex's house. The other went to Sev's office."
"Fine, call Sev then," Emilia said mildly from the doorway. "He can probably help them brew something or some such." She gave the room a look. "Did you drive off Blair before he finished my sandwich?"
He smirked at her. "You're so transparent," he said with a grin. He kissed her on the cheek. "Let me call Sev and I'll finish your breakfast." He went to use the main floo, not trusting this call to any other means. "Severus?" he said when the man's head appeared. "My daughter decided she was bored and used the emergency portkey we created to go to your office to come see you with my beloved twin sons. Have you seen them?" he asked calmly. It was the better choice anyway for a landing spot. Hogwarts had house elves that were used to children on some level or another. It was also safer. He'd be changing that other blanket later on to go to Sev's office as well. Yes, a much better choice. After all, Alex's house had fallen in once and they were routinely ambushed by nasty, slimy things and demons.
"No, I hadn't seen her," he admitted. "I'm in my office at this moment. What did the portkey look like, Gregory?"
"A blue blanket. Kinda soft and fuzzy, really warm. She apparently somehow got the twins into it and took off with them."
"We found the crib rail down so she put them onto the blanket after climbing in with them," Emilia said from the doorway, yawning a bit. "Blair's back. He's finishing my breakfast and I made him come up to clean 'San's room. Severus, if you find them, send them back?"
"Of course," he snorted. "I have no use for children." He looked at his former apprentice. "Are you sure they came here?"
"I made two blankets. I know I set one to Alex's house and it's still here. The other I'm pretty certain I set to your office since I had to have Dumbledore's permission."
"Hmm. Then I'll look about. I'll let you know if I find them here." His head disappeared and he calmly stood up and did a visual search of his office. There wasn't anywhere for three infants to hide. He did notice his floors were very clean this morning and grimaced, walking down to the Great Hall to gather some help. He looked at the gathered students from behind his usual seat, then walked down to the Hufflepuff table. They'd be the sort to take the children in. "Miss Summers," he said with a slight sneer, mostly for show. He liked the obnoxious brunette for some odd reason, even though she couldn't brew anything. "Did some children come into your house's possession this morning?"
"As far as I know no one gave birth," she said cautiously, looking confused. "Why would we have?"
"The Sanders children may have portkeyed into the school and it seemed like a Hufflepuff thing to do to take them in," he said dryly. "Are they in your house's possession?"
"No sir," she said, standing up. "Um, ladies, we seem to have some kids who may have popped into the school on a portkey. Anyone seen them?" she called. The students around them all looked at her, but most of them shook their heads. "Okay, so we have children who have popped in who are running around without a guardian, guys. We've got to find them before they get hurt, or something!"
"Which direction are we searching, sir?" Luna asked, looking calm and placid as usual. Even if she didn't blink.
"You go check the front halls, you...ladies check the classrooms. Miss Weasley, are you forcing me to add you as well?" he sneered when she walked closer.
"No, sir, but I think I know who I can call to get some extra help," she admitted. "Let me do that. Where did they start out?"
"Probably in my office." The ladies of Hufflepuff, plus their two kinda-adopted members ran out nibbling rolls and the like to find those children. Little babies shouldn't wander about in the school, it was dangerous. Those who remembered everyone turning into babies remembered how close a few of them came to falling down stairs, being eaten by something of Hagrid's, or just getting lost in the mazes of hallways.
Ginny rushed for the nearest floo she knew went outside the school, going to call Ron. "Ron, do you know where Harry's map is?" she asked when his yawning head popped up in the fireplace. "We need it desperately to find someone. I remember hearing you say you could find anyone on it when you were avoiding Hermione the last time."
Ron popped his neck then nodded. "Kinda, why? Harry's got a game this morning. I'm about to go over there now." He yawned again. "Why?"
"We've got some lost kids."
"Oh. Let me look, Ginny. I'll send it over if I find it. Give me a few, I think it's at Alex's in our stuff there." He signed off and started a new call, heading over there. He heard the squealing and sighed. Looks like the twins had talked Alex into babysitting after all. He found the map and rolled it up, sending it back through the floo to his sister, then he went to the game. He was a bit late, but hey, it was only 10-30 against Harry's team. They still had time to win.
Ginny caught the roll of parchment and looked around before unrolling it and pulling her wand. "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." She tapped the corner of the parchment, watching as it lit up. She checked all the names, but there wasn't anyone listed as 'Sanders' and there weren't any unlisted dots. She did find Professor Snape and headed down to show him. "Professor!" she yelled when she got closer. She handed over the map. "They're not here, sir."
He snatched the parchment from her hands, looking at it. "What is this?" he demanded.
"Harry's," she said, pointing helpfully. "See, there we are. There's no notation of the children on it, sir." He grimaced but allowed that it looked to be correct. She took it back and stuffed it into her pocket. "Have you told the Headmaster?"
"Not yet. I'll do that. I want to see that again later, Miss Weasley."
"Sir, you'd have to ask Harry's permission. I'm only borrowing it," she said sheepishly, backing away slowly. She turned and ran. She sent the map back to the Burrow, still active, trusting someone there could turn it off. Then she ran to her first class, grabbing Luna on her way. "They're not here. Call off the search."
"Dawn, they're not here, we checked the map!" Luna yelled.
"Ladies, we can't find them," Dawn yelled. "We're checking other locations. Thanks for the help!"
"Welcome, Dawnie!" one of them called back, and they headed for their classes. "We'll see you tonight!"
Snape listened to the hyper young women as they chatted and ran off, nodding at the ones who ran pat him. He went to call Greg back, shaking his head. "They're not in the school, Gregory. Miss Weasley came up with a map of some sort that showed the entire school and they weren't on it. Where else could they be?"
"Alex's?" he said, looking confused. "But I thought I only made one blanket to there." He shook his head. "Never mind. They're both coming to the school as soon as I get them back," he said grimly. "Thanks, Severus. Have a good class day." His head disappeared and he looked at his wife and friend. "They're not at the school. So I guess they did go to Alex's." He picked up the phone, dialing the house again. "Alex, it's Greg, again."
The Weasley twins were woken gently by kisses. They smiled at the person kissing them even before they opened their eyes. When they did open their eyes, they found their wife staring down at them. "What's...."
"Going on?" the other finished.
"Oliver's asleep down in the library," she said blandly. "The twins are missing."
"The older ones?" one of them asked hopefully.
She shook her head. "Both sets."
"Then the older ones are going to be grounded," the other noted, sitting up. He stole a deep kiss, making her hum and grin stupidly at him. The other pulled her down to get one of his own. It was nearly enough to make them forget about the kids being missing. Nearly.
She pulled back and looked around. "As nice as this is, our babies are wandering around with their infant siblings. Shouldn't we be stopping them?"
"Probably," one agreed.
"In a minute," the one on his back noted. He pulled her down for another kiss.
It lasted until Oliver screamed.
"Coming!" they yelled in unison.
Alex looked out the window, then started to swear at Greg for having children and for tormenting them with them. How could he run around and pounce his mate with children there! His swearing went over the link, going right to Greg's arm, his mind, and to Tipsy's mind since she was still so open. His rant was unbroken for a good, long stretch of time and even Ron would have been impressed by some of the words he knew and used. He turned away from the window and brutally cut contact, going down to try to get the babies again. This time the foals got up and guarded the foursome, horns ready to stab him.
"Hey, don't do that," Draco ordered. "He simply wants to get the children so they can be changed and the like. Human children need such attention," he noted as he walked out. The mother unicorn glared at him and gently licked across one of the baby's face. There was no getting close to them and a few more unicorns were coming up.
"Damn it, I want Des right about now," Alex muttered, going to whine in the kitchen. Maybe if his Aunt Cordy were here she could make them give up the babies but she was with his father on his trip around the globe to look for more family members. What an inconvenient time to find love!
Tipsy and the twins stepped out of the fireplace, looking at him. "Twins?" she asked.
"Two of them are presently nursing on a unicorn," he said bitterly. "The other two and Cassandra are torturing a house elf by making it play ring-around-the-rosie until it pukes."
"Our older ones are so great," one of the elder twins sniffed, wiping off his eye.
"Boys, let's go find the older ones first. The unicorns can handle the younger for now."
"That's good because I can't get near them," Alex said with mock fondness, saluting them with his present cup of tea. "I hate children. I don't like anyone's kids. I'm not babysitting and I want to pounce my mate. I can't do that with your spawn here."
"Forgive him, he didn't get morning sex," Draco said as he walked in.
"Or evening sex, you were sleeping," Xander said bitterly, heading back to his lab to blow something up. He didn't care if he was pouting, he didn't like kids! He had Snape, wasn't that enough?
Draco looked at the amused parents. "The three older ones and the nauseous house elf are on the side lawn outside the dining room. We could call breakfast and bring them in."
The parents went outside, the mother going to get the older kids and the younger twins trying to figure out how to get their other ones. A pouting Alex was a pitiful sight, even to them. The unicorns formed a wall against them too.
"Hey now!" one complained.
"Two of those are ours!"
The mother nursing them glared at them.
"Oh, don't you dare," Tipsy said as she walked back the older kids. "You can't keep them, mother. They're mine and Emilia's. We had to give birth to them so you can't feed them for us." She glared at them, and only shifted when the three older kids toddled in to curl up with them. It was time for a rest, they were dizzy and tired from playing. "Cassandra, get out here now and bring your brothers," she ordered. The girl spit at her. "Now, Cassandra."
"No! My brovers! They soft and pretty, likes to pet, Auntie. We loved by them too!"
"Oh, dirt," one of the Weasley twins sighed.
"Indeed. Help, dear?"
"Yeah, let's get some help." She touched her arm, bringing everyone running who was nearby. Philip, Methos, Ron complained but he came too, and a few of the older members who had been shopping or in London for meetings. "As you can see, the unicorns have the children trapped."
Ron snorted. "I can't help with that," he noted, going back to the game. He managed to sit down just as Harry did a spectacular dive off his broom to catch the snitch, wincing as he landed on the ground. "Ow, Harry," he whined. He grinned and waved, getting a nod back at the changing area and a wink in return.
Philip slowly moved closer, but the foals stopped him. "I'm not that unpure," he assured them. "We just need the human children. They're not foals. They need changed and stuff." He could smell one of them so he knew it was a necessity. "C'mon, I can be nice and gentle like. Just let me in to get them." The foals shifted together to block his path. He backed away quickly when one of them tried to stab him, hurrying back to the group. "Sorry, they don't seem to like me."
"You have to be *really* pure to work with the foals," Alex said from the doorway, glaring at the beasts. "I don't like you," he noted. "Get off the back lawn, go back to your herd lands, and behave." The mother let out a whinnying laugh, which made him growl. His hand itched for his wand but Draco had stolen it earlier. He stomped inside, going to find something to throw at them, or a sword, or a crossbow, he wasn't sure which one he'd find first. But it would be used.
The other Banes tried but with less success than Philip had. They couldn't get close enough to them to smell the children.
Draco watched this amusing exercise in frustration, then got a bright idea. He went to call Snape personally. "Old man," he said genially. "We need Miss Weasley to come release some children from the unicorn herd. They've seemingly adopted the children. They've been nursing the younger ones so far." Snape's mouth fell open. "Indeed. But they need changed and Alex's in one of his 'need sex' moods so he's miserable and snappy at the moment. I'd like to clear everyone out of here so we can deal with that, but then again, there's a herd of unicorns in the garden."
"I'll bring her immediately," he said, his lips pressed together to keep from laughing. He went to find her, finding her outside finally. "Miss Weasley," he hissed as he got close enough for her to hear. "You are needed at home to release the newest pets from your...charges."
"Again what?" Hagrid asked.
"The unicorns at Alex's house have taken to adopting things. They've recently adopted a kitten and the tainted one seems to have adopted Luna and Wesley. Who have they got now? Taunting Alex by not letting him near Draco?"
"No, they're presently nursing the children we were looking for earlier," he said sarcastically. She winced and shook her head with a sigh, following him back to the floo to send herself there.
"Those'll be some powerful kids," Luna said in appreciation. "I'm sure they'll be a credit to the school." The other students looked at her like she was insane, again. She shrugged. "Unicorn milk is very pure. It's also something that can strengthen an already powerful wizard or make a weaker one feel better. They're going to be some powerful wizards."
Hagrid nodded. "She's right. The last little one nursed on unicorn milk was Dumbledore."
"Actually, Alex said that his sister Katya had been nursed partially on unicorn cream. He said she refused to eat normal milk from their mother. And of course he drinks a lot of it in his tea."
Hagrid grinned at her. "Good on him! He'll need it to deal with his consort and Ron." The kids in the class broke out in giggles. They had no doubt he'd need his strength to get between those two.
Ginny came rolling out of the floo and stood up to dust herself off as she walked. "Hey!" she complained when the foals tried to menace her. She shoved one's head out of her way. "Try it again, become a rug," she said, staring him down. He slunk back, taking his spot back beside the babies. "Nice try," she snorted. She walked around the others gathered near there. "They nearly done yet? Their parents want them back now." She crossed her arms, staring at the mother. "If you're that full, feed one of the ones who needs adopting! We've got that one up at the school who I've been bottle feeding. You can have him back if you want." The mother let out a soft whinny so she bent down to rub noses with her. "You're fine, but they're worried parents too. They'd like their kids back now. Besides, they need cleaned. They smell." The mother nosed one of the twins sucking on her and then nosed Ginny to take them. "Thanks, momma 'corn. Come up to the school with me. I'll gladly let you have the baby back. Though you might have to put up with the baby dragon too." She nudged Ginny again and stood up, watching as the children were gently handed back to worried parents. Cassandra and her brothers were handed to Philip, Severus, and Methos, who took them back to Vegas with the blanket they had all been on.
"Finally!" Alex shouted, pulling Draco closer to kiss him. Draco, of course, went limp against him. What other response was there to such an assault on his lips by such a talented partner?
The other Banes shared a look as their rutting drove the remaining unicorns off, and Ginny climbed up onto the mother's back to ride her back down to the herd, leading the foals back to their normal mothers. Then she and the mother took off across the countryside to head to the school. She could get an excused absence for that. Right?
Methos put his twin into his crib and stepped out of the way so Severus could get the one he carried in there as well. They turned to find the parents behind them. "Cassandra is heading for her room," Methos noted. "They were fed unicorn milk."
"Alex fed them tea?" Emilia asked.
"No, the mother unicorn decided to nurse them," Methos said dryly, smirking at them. Greg's face lit up and he rushed over to hug them. "Enough!"
"Control yourself, Gregory," Snape sighed, pushing him away. "Their futures are still to be seen."
"Besides, they were feeding the Weasley's latest batch too," Methos noted. "Plus your daughter had a taste too and she tried to nurse but the mother decided she was weaned."
Emilia shook her head. "I'll watch for funny output from their diapers." Snape gave her an odd look. "In case you've never seen diapers, they're all odd but some of them are very, very nasty. I'm guessing unicorn milk wouldn't agree with their stomachs." She wandered back to her bed, needing a rest now that the dangerous stuff was over with. She was still worn out from the birth.
Methos looked at Greg. "Just be careful with them for the next little while. They may crave it so you may have to mix some creme into their usual milk."
"They're eating off their mother," he pointed out with a grin. He loved to watch his kids eat their mother.
"Then you'll figure it out," Snape decided. "Cassandra appeared to be dizzy and tired. Someone had mentioned her torturing a house elf by making it play with her and Tipsy's horrible older set. We've got to get back to work."
"Thanks, guys," he said, hugging them both again. "If you need me, or them, yell and we'll come running." They nodded patiently and left, both of them smoothing the wrinkles out of their robes.
"Greg, need anything for them?" Blair called from the hallway before peeking in. "Cassandra's been tucked in and she's taking a nap."
"We'll need to get some more diapers soon but they'll be fine," he said, grinning down at his kids. "They were being nursed by a unicorn mother."
"Oh, that is so cool!" Blair said, coming in to hug him. "I'm so stoked for your kids, man. That's a great omen."
"I'm still mad at you," Greg said with a grin for him. "Go find diapers and clean up the mess you made, Sandburg."
"Sure, man, become like Jim," he agreed with a grin. "I've already straightened up Cassandra's room and started a load of wash." He took Greg's wallet and went to get him some more diapers from the store on the corner. "Hi," he said as he walked in. He had been here many times. They all knew him by now.
"I think it's so neat that you gay guys have adopted kids," the clerk said with a grin.
Blair paused then shook her head. "I'm just the stand-in nanny," he explained. "Greg's got a wonderful woman."
"Ooh, and a liberal guy too!" she said happily. "Well, then, I hope you find a nice gay guy of your own to raise lots of little babies with, Blair. You're obviously good at it." She took the bags he picked out, ringing him up. "How are the adorable twins you brought in last time?"
"Just fine. They just visited with an uncle and are now napping off the stress of being admired by his pets." She giggled and took his money, handing him back the change. "Thanks." He took the diapers back to the house, mentally shaking his head. "Hey, Greg. I just convinced the check-out girl at the local store that we're not together and raising little gay babies," he called as he walked in.
"Sandburg!" he yelled.
Blair sniffed. "I miss that sound," he admitted. Greg came jogging down the stairs. "I convinced her I was the nanny. She hopes that I find a nice gay man to raise many baby Sandburgs with."
Greg got a sudden image of those kids and shuddered. "As long as none of them try to date mine," he noted, going back to his car. It was over with, he had to make up the rest of his shift. By the time he got back to the station, that image was firmly stuck in his head. He walked past his boss shaking his head. "The unicorns loved them, they were feeding the twins," he noted. "Blair just got told to have lots of little Sandburgs with whoever he finally settles with. Please, promise me that you won't let them date?" he whined.
Grissom gave his back a look, then quickly shook his head. He didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know. At least not yet. He looked at Warrick as he walked past him. "Have you ever had one of those conversations where your head hurts afterward?"
"Yes, and Greg seems to have caused a number of them," he admitted. "Why?"
"His kids are fine. The unicorns liked them and were feeding them? And Sandburg was told to settle down to have many baby Sandburgs, who Greg doesn't want to date his?"
"That's a scary thought. Little tiny Blairs getting together with Cassandra and her innate sense of trouble." He walked away shaking his head.
Catherine noticed this speech but hadn't been close enough to hear what was going on. "Greg?" she asked Grissom. He nodded and walked on. "It usually is," she sighed, going to remind Greg not to give them nightmares. When she heard what had been going on, mostly because he was still muttering it while he worked on something, she too walked away shaking her head. She'd hear the whole story from Tipsy later.
Brass stopped her in the hallway. "You're wearing an expression like you just got Greg'd," he said with a smirk.
"His kids are fine. They managed to send themselves to Alex's earlier, where some unicorns were playing with them and feeding them. Then Sandburg was told to have many baby Blairs, who Greg is worried might like his."
Brass shuddered. He remembered Sandburg a bit too well at the moment. "I hope not. Those would be some horrible children." She laughed and nodded. "Anyone else walking around in a fog?"
"Grissom and Warrick."
"Oh, goodie," he said dryly. "We've got a heads-up on a new case that won't be happening until next summer. Ritual cannibalism in a religious ceremony using a single child in offering."
"Grissom was headed back to his office," she offered. "I don't want to know." He nodded wisely, going to warn him and hand over the file that had been sent to him personally by Vecchio. Some of this cult's people had moved their way so he was warning them. He tapped on the door and walked in. "We've got a future case in warning," he said in greeting, handing it over.
Grissom looked it over. "Interesting."
Aunt Cordy and Alex's father walked out of the house together, wandering out to where Alex was tainting more of the garden so the unicorns couldn't come up and play next to the house. "Son," he sighed. "The unicorns have just as much right to the garden as you do."
Draco looked over at him, stopping his moving to push back his hair. "They kidnaped some children earlier," he panted, then pinched Alex, making him go faster. They both got off and curled up together to look at the parental figures of the household. "Sorry, we couldn't wait."
"No, that's fine," Aunt Cordy said, smiling at them. "You two are a joy to behold most of the time." She smiled at Alex. "Son, we've got someone you simply have to meet."
"Indeed," his father agreed, nodding. "Someone quite interesting though."
"That sounds scarily like someone messed up their birth control charms for the second time in history," Luna offered with a giggle. She had been watching, they hadn't cared and it had been quite a good show.
Draco looked back at her. "I'm telling Dawn you watch," he said smugly.
"Poo, you're no fun," she sighed, going back to class. It had been better than Herbology.
"Oh, shit," Alex sighed, putting his head back down. "Draco, can't you kill me one of these times?"
Draco bit him hard, making him scream. "No, I can't," he said dryly. "Behave or be on the bottom next time."
To Part 9