Packs of Old Ones.
Natasha walked up to Director Fury and slugged him. He blinked at
her from the floor. "You sent me to get information from a gay
man," she said. "Did it occur to anyone to tell me this
information so I did not waste so much time doing it?" She walked
off. "You will need someone else."
"I can assign someone else," he said, rubbing his jaw. "You need weight training again, Romanoff."
She glared back at him. "I was being kind. Otherwise you
would've felt the bite of my stinger." She smirked slightly and
looked at Maria. She tossed over the USB key. "A proper
background on the target since ours was pathetic." She left, going
back to Stark. Dawn was waking up.
Maria Hill ran it, looking at the corrections and groaned. "I'll
talk to our people in Research, sir." She went to do that.
People had been thinking she had been softer since the kids were
born. They were about to be proven wrong.
Fury came out shaking his head. "Wonderful." Joyce held up
two advil packets. "Thank you, Summers." He went back into
the office. "Has Barton checked in?"
"He's local since they had to rescue Dawn last night," Joyce said. "But I haven't gotten a thing from them, Director."
He groaned. "Why?"
"Never mind," he muttered. "Hopefully he's dead since he wanted to
cut our funding." He took the advil and settled in to work on the
Loki appeared, smirking at Joyce. "My spouse wishes your boss to report to him today."
She pointed behind her. "He's sitting right there. I'm an
assistant, not a herald." Loki smirked evilly at her. She
smirked back and put something on the desk.
"How did you get that?" he asked, staring at the dagger. "Is that hind's blood?"
"Yes, it is."
"That does not work on the Aesir."
She held up the dagger so he could see the handle. "Yes, but the dagger itself has a name for a reason."
He stared then at her. "When did you turn mean?"
"When people started to try to take my younger daughter for their plots and idiocy." She smiled.
He shuddered. "At least you're a protective mother."
"Yes, I am." He disappeared. "Director, the president would like a word."
"I heard," he complained. "Can we borrow that?"
"No, sir. It's my last birthday present from Natasha."
"Huh." He called the president. "Is there a problem, sir? I just saw your spouse."
"The reorganization is going sideways, Fury. What are you going to do about it?"
"Send me what the problem is and I'll tell you later tonight," he
said. "I haven't heard a single thing today outside of an agent
telling me that her target was gay so she wasn't effective."
The president snorted. "Wonderful." He pointed at the file. "Loki, please deliver that?"
"Sir, I'll have someone come get it," Fury said. "That way it can't get lost. Coulson?"
"I'm busy, sir," the voice from the air said. "We have six drug
and weapons dealers who are extremely compromised by something that's
making them act like zombies who are surrounding the target we were to
be guarding. They've already taken down two agents who were
guarding him. It will be at least an hour." His voice faded
Xander appeared with the files. "These?" he asked dryly. He
handed them over and looked at the president. "Tell Dad his zombie
potion is still really stupid and if he expects me to exempt him from
this year's chaos kid surge, I've had enough already." He
Fury shuddered. "As long as there's no tentacles this time," he decided.
"Tentacles?" the president asked.
Fury got the files from Stark after a quick IM message. He sent
them to the president with a smile. "The Elder Ones decreed that
all children of chaos gods with powers were to be the ones that powered
them for the decade." He hung up.
In DC, Loki looked over from his spot on the couch. "My son was
prompted into that one by Roque and Mexican food. He's no longer
allowed to eat Mexican food or anything else that gives him gas."
The president watched it, shuddering and holding himself. "Damn!"
Loki smirked. "It was quite powerful. I'm still almost fully
charged from that one." He went back to his book. He could
feel some extra chaos going on in Greece but he wasn't sure why.
As far as he knew, Janus didn't have anyone to power him.
"That's it, no one's ever getting any ever again," Cupid shouted.
"You can't do that," his mother complained. "It can hurt humanity, sweetie."
"What do I care?" He stomped off.
Aphrodite sighed and sent out a godly memo about it.
Dawn heard it and groaned. This was not a good week.
Phil looked up then at Xander, who shrugged and kissed him. "Not working on us."
"Should we ask him what's wrong?"
"No, he'll vent, he'll rescind it, then it'll all go away again."
"If you're sure." Phil curled up against Xander's chest, teasing
him into pouncing. Xander had a very good pounce on him.
Three days later, Dawn sighed in displeasure. She was on lunch and
went to handle something. Someone needed to. They were
nagging Xander for having sex when Cupid said no one could. She
appeared in Cupid and Aphrodite's temple. "Are you suicidal?" she
asked him. He glared. She stared back. "Seriously, are
"No!" he snorted.
"Yet, you just cut off your supply of power, which can kill your blond
ass." He growled. She stared at him. "Please!" she
said dryly, flapping a hand. "Hellion growls better. If
you're that suicidal, go take a mortal vacation."
"What?" he demanded.
She moved closer and tapped him on the forehead. "Go." He
faded out with a yelp. She went to talk to Hera. "What
happens when a god doesn't get fed any power for a few days?" she asked
at their glare. They were in a meeting about Cupid.
"They fade," Apollo said, then his eyes went wide. "Shit, I didn't even consider that. Xander was keeping him here."
"Now, he's immortal but in a mortal life for a bit. Call it a
vacation." She stared at him. "Totally unlike his
life. He's got a mortal family for a few years." Strife
stiffened. She looked at him and grinned. "You've seen him."
"I thought he was an offspring," Strife said, smirking evilly at her.
"No, I sent him back about twenty years so he'd appear as a mid-range
teenager. That way he could build up to it. And I bet he
probably knows what he forgot before." She disappeared to go back
to work since Tony was at her desk. "Need filed or typed?"
"Typed." He let her have it. "Where were you?"
"Olympus helping Cupid because he was so depressed he tried to commit suicide by cutting off his power supply."
He shuddered. "No wonder I haven't had sex in days." He went to talk to Pepper.
Dawn smiled, getting back to work. An email popped up with a
location and a time. She sent back she couldn't get there.
She wasn't supposed to teleport and it'd have to be the next day since
she had it off. Then she got back to work. Another one got
sent so she made flight reservations.
Hera looked at Apollo. "He was going to go critical."
"Within days," he agreed, then sighed. "I didn't even see
it." He slumped, looking at his King and Queen. "A mortal
life would solve most of it. He was feeling it was so useless by
looking at his journal. That it was all the same."
Strife nodded. "She put him in a life that lead him to rely more
on his dad's side than his ma's." He crossed his legs and
smirked slightly. "That's a wicked idea and it'd help.
Whenever I'm in that mood, I go play with some orphans."
Hera nodded. "I go visit children in shelters. Ones that their parents had profaned my area."
"That's actually about what we did when we switched realms for a bit,"
Zeus admitted. "It's an inspired plan. Can he come back?"
Strife checked then nodded. "In about two years." They
nodded that'd be fine. His area was back on automatic with him
being unable to move the power flows around. It solved his curse
nicely. Ares looked over at Strife so he showed him. Ares
smirked and nodded. "Definitely more your side," he quipped with a
Dawn walked into the clearing in the woods, putting her phone back in
her pocket. She looked at the two guys there. "Hey, Martin,
hey, Frank." She hugged them both. "Why the meeting?"
"Victoria called it," Frank said with a smirk. "Mostly because she's found someone who wants to snatch you."
"Gee, unlike the others in my life?" she asked dryly. "How rare is that?" she finished sarcastically.
Martin shook his head. "That's so bad, Dawn. You used to be sweeter."
She smiled. "Yes, I used to be. Then someone decided to
poison the food in the house somehow last night and I'm in a bad mood."
"Mood swings happen," a female, British voice said calmly.
Dawn smiled at her. "Victoria. Thank you for the help earlier as well."
"Child, that's not a problem and that particular curse was not warranted
or wanted." She smiled, looking at her stomach. "Seven?"
She nodded. "Just into my seventh month. Tell him to leave
Benji alone? He's supposed to be watching me for Clint."
"He is. They're chatting." She waved a hand. "Are you healthy?"
"Cranky. My spouses are on assignment." She grinned.
"I may have to pull in my boss to help me through the labor."
"Don't ask us," Martin said quickly. "I never want to see that."
Dawn looked at him. "Martin, I don't want you to see me
naked. Thanks. Really." He grinned. She heard a
branch snap and looked at the young guy walking up to them. "Hi."
"Bitch," he muttered in Greek. She swatted him and unblocked his other memories. He sighed. "You were right."
"Duh?" she asked with a grin. "Need more? I give *excellent* hugs."
"No, I'm good. So does the wife. She reminds me of you but she's sane and nice." He smirked.
She laughed. "I was nice until people decided I was their wanted
treat." She looked at Victoria then at Cupid's present mortal life
as a CIA agent and 'fixer'. "So, anyway, which one wants me this
He groaned, handing over the file. "More than one."
"Any of them responsible for the poisoning of the house last night?"
"Not that I'm aware of." He looked at the guy being led over. "I know you."
"I know you too," he said dryly. "Dawn, he's a bit nasty."
She smiled at him. "Slightly. I met Victoria a few years
ago. Frank and Martin cleaned up the Initiative mess when it got
shut down by the group. I'm pretty safe and if this guy wants to
attack me I'm going to kill his ass with my nice present from my wife
last year." She grinned. "She got me a dagger that's called
God Killer. My mom has the other one." Cupid
shuddered. She smiled at her. "Freely given too."
"Where did she find a hind?" Cupid demanded.
"Somewhere on Asgard."
"Huh. We wondered where they went to hide." He looked up and
shook his head then looked at her. "Grandma's pissed."
"Grandma's not pissed." She grinned. "I pointed out the
problem they hadn't seen." She looked at him. "Better?"
"I am." She smiled. "They're evil, princess."
"Only Clint gets away with that name." She read over the file,
shaking her head. She handed one to Victoria. "Unless he's
resurrected, he's been dead for over a year. This one got it in
Brazil, and this one in Peru." She handed those over. That
left three. She looked up, thinking at her spouses. Who were
both at home wondering where she was. She smiled at them and
pulled them to her. Clint landed on his ass. Natasha barely
managed to land on her feet. "Sorry, dear." She helped him
up and handed him the folder, taking a kiss. "More bad guys who
want our kid."
He stared down at her. "The house has no food."
"It all got poisoned. Again."
"How?" Natasha demanded.
Dawn shrugged. "No idea but the little sensor in the fridge was
registering a light that was on top of the 'arsenic' label."
"Damn it," Clint muttered. He looked at the files. He handed
them to Natasha. "Okay," he decided. He looked
"Clinton." She smiled and patted him on the hand. "Dawn is
such a darling young woman. I'm so glad she found someone to be
"Victoria's related back to Dr. Peter," Dawn said with a grin. "Frank and Martin cleaned up Finn's mess."
"Thanks," he told them. "I would've killed them all." He
looked at her then at Cupid. It had to be Cupid, even though he
had dark hair. Cupid nodded he was right. "How?" Cupid
pointed at Dawn. Who just smiled at him. He kissed
her. "I love it when you're devious."
She beamed. "Me too."
"You two are like sugary maple syrup candy. Can you quit before I
get cavities?" Cupid complained. The others laughed.
Natasha looked up at him. "It is better to have her cuddly, happy,
and needy than to have her pouty, angry, evil, or upset."
"Yes, it is," Cupid said, shuddering.
Dawn grinned. "It's *that* year."
"Xander can fight it," he assured her.
"Maybe." She smiled sweetly. Cupid stared then walked off to bang his head into a tree.
"We missed something," Frank said, raising a hand slightly.
"Dawn had to have my help to put his records into certain places,"
Victoria said with a smile. "Which is why I was quite upset when
he showed up to kill us." She stared at him.
He looked at her. "Sorry. Orders."
"I've had many like that," she admitted. Dawn grinned at
them. "It'll be fine, dear." She looked at Frank.
"He's not exactly normal."
"He's got a hidden Greek lineage," Dawn said.
"Greek...." Martin said. "Like that Alexander guy?"
"Yeah," she said dryly. "Just like Xander only his was Norse and
Hindu." They both groaned. "So I arranged it with Victoria
to put his records where they needed to be back then through her younger
self via letter."
"I actually figured out what was wrong within days," Cupid sighed. "But it's nice to not be in the life I had before."
Dawn shrugged. "Hey, no wings batting you now and then."
"True, no one with wings are around to bat at me. Even winged
dogs." She grinned. "That was so screwy of him," he
complained. He looked at Clint and Natasha. He had tried to
keep them together way back when but now he knew why they hadn't managed
it. Dawn was needed as the lock to hold their lives
together. He looked at her stomach. "He's a strong kid."
"We've been keeping that it was a boy out of everywhere," Clint told
him. "Because more people would want him if they thought he was a
"Yeah, I get that," he agreed. "You're right. Pop's got a few that're all but drooling."
"Eww," Dawn quipped. "No drooling on me." He laughed. She grinned at Clint. "You don't drool."
"I don't," he said with an evil smirk for. "Though I'm feeling the urge to spank you."
"You wanted both hands to work, right?" she quipped back. She took
a kiss. "If you cure this *itch* of mine tonight I might even
finish the stuff for your other ID," she said quietly. "Benji and I
have been putting it in." He moaned and nodded. "Benji?"
"Got it done earlier," he admitted. "Though I agree with the guy there. You guys are sappy."
Dawn smiled. "It's called happiness, Benji."
"You definitely are and it's very sweet to see," Victoria said with a smile. "Just two more months, Dawn."
She nodded. "And they had better not be on assignment then."
They all heard an engine driving nearby and being shut off. "That's not Sarah," Martin said, pulling out a stuffed pig.
Dawn scanned and shook her head. "No, it's not Sarah,
Frank." They all pulled guns. Dawn hid behind Clint but had
her own. They all stared at her. She shrugged. "Not
the first time this week."
"Benji," Clint complained.
"Bloke tried to gas the whole tower," he complained. "We got 'em before they managed it."
Dawn nodded. "Idiots." The person coming through the trees
was female, a bit severe looking. "Wow, I didn't think Frou was
real," she said quietly, cracking Clint up.
"Miss Summers, if you'll come with me," she said.
Dawn stepped out from behind her husband. "How about I just kill you?"
"You wouldn't," she said with a smile. "You're a pleasant, sweet young woman."
Dawn shot her. "Who's had to beat a lot of people," she said to
the woman who was bleeding on the forest floor. "I've had to kill
three people this month, lady. Clearly your research department is
as bad as the one at SHIELD sometimes." She grinned. "Now,
who sent you? Because I doubt my spouses will let me torture you
but .... I do have mood swings and I can pout them into letting me
have you. I'm out of practice." The woman tried to move
away from her. She stared at her. "I *was* a nice young
woman until people kept trying to take me. The first few you get
scared. After that, you get pissed the fuck off." The woman
nodded. "Now, who the fuck are you?" She walked over and
stepped on the wound, letting her heel hit it. "Who.
Are. You?" she asked, pointing the gun at her.
"I'm with IMF."
Benji took her picture to look it up. "No, you're not." He showed Clint.
"Hey, she's with the other group the World Security Council screwed over. Dawn, can we?"
Dawn nodded, getting off her. The woman tried to lunge until Dawn
shot her in the side. She screamed and went down. "Oops, did
I change the clip magically to the acid ones? Huh. Imagine
me doing that," she said dryly. "And they're not fatal.
Today." She smiled.
Cupid shuddered. "Dawn, when did you turn that evil?"
"Huh. So that's what Apollo was talking about."
She grinned at him. "I have a bad habit of leaving injuries that
won't ever heal so he gets a bit panicky about me sometimes." She
looked down. "Since I'm not supposed to be using any magic right
now, I had to improvise. Then again, I'm pretty near the rank of
Mistress of Poisons." She stared at her. "The things you
learn from a book that Rosenburg had." Cupid shuddered.
"Then I got some from SHIELD over Phil's shoulder."
She grinned. The woman tried to move. Natasha helped her up
and into the trees. Clint followed. Benji shuddered.
She grinned at him. "I'd never poison you. Whoever sent the
poison last night got it back. I banished it at them. So
they're in hell right now." She looked at the elder spies and
shrugged. Then grabbed her stomach. "Ow, ow, ow, son.
Stop it. I know you love it when I'm mean, but really. Must
you?" Victoria laughed and pulled her over to rub out the cramp
caused by the tiny feet.
Cupid shook his head. "I do not want to remember being there," he
said. The guys all stared at him. He shrugged.
"Goddesses, guys. They're like that sometimes."
Dawn looked at him. "Clay's still on the IUD thanks to Roque's mom."
"That's going to be one badass, ugly kid," Cupid decided. "They're
both handsome enough but that kid's going to ugly and like weapons a
Dawn smiled. "Remember, Clay's a yellow fur."
Cupid paused then shuddered. "Yeah, Pops would *love* that kid in
his service." He sent a thought at his father about that. He
frowned and looked up. "Someone hit Phil with it."
Dawn sent a shout/prayer at Phil about that. And about the woman
that her spouses were torturing for her. It was making her a bit
sniffly that they were so mean on her behalf.
Phil paused in the meeting and looked at himself, scanning
himself. He glared up. "Do not *attempt* it again," he
warned. "I will retaliate." The spell on him suddenly
disappeared. "Thank you, Freya!"
"Problems?" Fury asked.
"Freya decided Xander needed children. She decided that Roque's mother had a good idea, sir."
Fury blinked a few times. "She made you fertile? You have
two or four kids already, Coulson." He had no idea who the father
of the younger two children were and he was not going to ask Tara or
Hill that question.
"No, sir, she made it so I could carry the next one." Fury shuddered and curled up a bit. "I'm not pleased either."
Xander appeared and kissed him on the forehead. He manifested his
axe. "Let me go talk to my aunt." He disappeared.
"I want to help," Phil reminded him. "Excuse me for a few moments,
sir." He disappeared, calling his sword to him. They had to
hunt down an evil bitch love goddess.
Fury looked at Hill, who was still looking horrified. "Scan all
the others, make sure it hasn't spread somehow. I doubt she just
hit him." She nodded quickly and sent that order. He went to
have a drink. The flask in his desk was empty in a gulp and the
two bottles hidden in his filing cabinets got drained nearly as fast.
"Fuck you! I don't want to be pregnant either! I have Phil's
kids for the moment, thank you!" Xander's voice shouted. Fury
shuddered and left, letting someone drive him to a liquor store then to
his safehouse of the night. He did not want to remember that.
Cupid looked up then at Dawn. "They're really pissed off at love gods."
"Freya did it," she quipped, waving a hand in the air. "Yell at her."
Cupid shook his head. "Mom wanted to help." He walked off shaking his head.
"So, how godly are you?" Martin asked.
He paused then grinned. "I'm Cupid." Frank moaned. He
smirked at him. "I can make it get better but I don't use a
crossbow much anymore. Internet porn sometimes but not the old
crossbow real often." He faded out. He went to talk to his
father then get back to work. This mortal identity was helping him
blow off stress. It was appreciated.
Dawn shrugged. "He cursed everyone everywhere to never get any again."
"Then it's a good thing he could cure that," Frank decided. "I'd be miserable."
"Me as well," Victoria said. She smiled at Dawn, who grinned back. "They should be spoiling you."
"They've been on assignment. I vowed if at least one of them
wasn't there for the birth I was going to summon them no matter what
they were doing and where they were."
Clint came out of the trees using some hand sanitizer. "I have
about three days worth of work, maybe a week." He took a kiss and
"If you must."
"I must." He took another kiss, this one deeper and making Dawn
moan and clutch at him. He smirked. "I leave again on
"It's Tuesday," she reminded him.
"Exactly." She squealed and took him and Natasha with her.
Benji shook his head. "She's been lonely."
"I know that feeling very well," Victoria said blandly. She patted
him on the cheek. "How is that Ethan boy? I heard Clint
nicknamed him a flying squirrel in his reports."
Benji laughed. "He's still pouting about that name."
"Wonderful. A bit of pouting is good for a boy. He could use
it to find someone worthy of his skills." She walked off with
him. "My house for coffee, boys."
"Yes, Victoria," Frank said, shaking his head. "I thought Sunnydale was weird," he complained quietly.
"Well, she's from there," Martin complained.
"Good point." They followed Victoria home so they could have
coffee and catch up. Benji was in awe of the 'man of the house'
but he only smiled and assured him he didn't want anyone IMF dead at the
moment. Though if he caught Hunt in his staff offices again that
Ethan looked up as Benji walked into his hotel suite with Clint and Natasha behind him. "We need more help?"
"Yes," Natasha said. "My case just intersected yours." She handed over a folder.
Ethan read it, nodding. "Great." He put it down, looking at Benji. "Your knee?"
"Fairly good. Did all the workouts they wanted. Still a bit stiff sometimes but I know how to keep it going."
Ethan smiled. "Good. You look odd."
"I met Victoria."
"As in British sniper goddess Victoria?" Ethan demanded. Benji
nodded. "Why? Did she capture Dawn? Or Stark?"
"No, she called Dawn for a meeting," Clint said, sliding into a
chair. "Apparently Dawn knew her and knew a few of her RED buddies
because they had helped shut down the Initiative mess."
Ethan shook his head quickly. "So what happened?"
"Someone from your old agency, the one that split off to become IMF,
wanted to take her into custody. Victoria helped a slight mood
swing and a cramp from a kick," Clint said. "And we talked to the
agent for Dawn after she shot her."
Ethan stared at him. "That's a bit farfetched, even for your spouse."
Natasha smiled slightly and nodded. "It surprised us too when Dawn
summoned us." Ethan moaned, shaking his head. "It was
handled however and your bosses, former and present, no longer want to
own our wife or our son."
Ethan looked at them. "Did you slip me something?" he asked Natasha. "Acid, mind control agent?"
She shook her head. "I did not. Sorry."
"Hey, it could be worse," Clint said. "Xander and Coulson had to
go *talk* to a love goddess who decided they needed to be fertile and
have more babies."
"I think it was nice that Coulson managed to injure her as she tried to get away from Xander," Natasha said.
"It was, yes," Clint agreed with a grin. "Though I'm wondering why most love gods and goddesses are blonds."
"That is interesting. Most war gods are darker haired," she said. "Huh."
"We know more?" Ethan asked.
"They have banquets," Clint complained. "Formal, have to wear a suit, has protocol worse than meeting royals, banquets."
"Depending on who's throwing it, you have to dress in their native dress
or formal attire," Natasha said. "If the Hindu one throws one
we'll both need new saris," she told Clint. Who moaned and
nodded. She smiled. "You can unwrap both of us."
"Yes, I can." He smirked slightly at her.
Ethan looked at Benji. "Shoot me?"
"Sorry, can't do your job instead," he said dryly. His phone
beeped. He looked at it. "Stark said that your phone is out
of order, Barton, and that you're an evil asshole because you made Dawn
have a flirty, teasing day without you there to handle it." He
showed him the included picture.
Clint moaned, looking at the outfit. "Damn."
Natasha took it to look at, shivering. "If we were home."
She handed the phone back and thought at Dawn, who quipped she was in a
cuddly mood too. She'd cuddle the twins later. She and Clint
shared a look. "Let us handle this today."
"Yeah, let's before I go nuts," Ethan decided. They went over the
file together and had a plan of action within minutes. Nothing
ornate, nothing that'd require Ethan to hang from a wire, climb a
building, break into a sealed vault. Just a simple handling
it. They'd be back in New York by tomorrow morning if they
could do it before the midnight flight out.
Ethan almost pouted about the simple plan but he'd learn to live with
it. He had been married once and he remembered hurrying home a few
times. Though his wife had never looked like that.
Clint strolled off the elevator at Stark, pulling Dawn up with a grin for Pepper. "Need her?"
"No, she's got today off once she finishes the three simple things that she's been avoiding."
Dawn looked in there. "I'm not doing that HR paperwork for my
doctor's own protection. I'm not going to look into circumcision
for the son, and I'm not really caring if the people in lab 8 want an
apology. They don't get it or deserve it." She smiled.
"Keep the peace, look into it anyway in case your spouse wants it done,
and do the parts that won't compromise her or else they might not pay
her," Pepper said with a smile.
"Fuck," Dawn muttered, sitting down to do those forms and handing him the book. "Be damned but here."
He looked at it then at her. "I'm cut," he pointed out.
She smiled at him. "Have to pay out of pocket because the
insurance won't cover it. We're not religious in a group that
would require it, and why?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "It does make it easier. I've
met a few who weren't that had girls giggle at them and ask if they were
Dawn shook her head. "We'll talk about it after breakfast?"
He smiled. "You didn't eat?"
"I fed the kids and was running late because nothing fit again."
She wrote out the insincere apology letter as well and handed them to
Pepper. "They're damn lucky I didn't burn them for it." She
walked off with Clint. Tony walked past them looking
confused. "It's my day off, boss."
"Uh-huh. Pepper, did Dawn get a day off?"
"Yes," she said patiently. "She does deserve one and she's already pulled sixty hours this week."
"Not like I had a reason to go home since the twins decided to camp with
Grandma." Clint grinned at her. "Until last night."
"They wanted to. They asked. Diana's grounded and she nearly begged."
"What did she do?"
"She snuck off without telling anyone to go to the children's museum."
"Awww." He took her home and let her get them inside.
Natasha was finishing the dishes. "She fed the kids and not
She smiled at them. "We'll feed her soon." Dawn beamed and
nodded, pouncing Clint for a kiss. Clint moaned and held onto her
hips until he pulled back. Then Dawn pulled Natasha over and
kissed her the same way, earning the same sort of happy sound.
That was what she needed. Natasha even left the dishes to soak for
a bit, something she never did.
Callia plopped herself down on the stool next to her father, staring at
him until he glanced at her. "Since I've been the victim of having
to help change *so* many diapers, why do Christopher and John look
Tony paused, screwdriver on the screw he needed to remove. "In what way?" he asked casually.
She poked him on the arm until he looked at her. "In the boy parts way, Daddy. Christopher has no hanging parts."
"When did you help change John?" he asked.
"Many years ago before he was potty trained. Though, he was
running around naked when I went over to help with Craig and
Danielle. He's got hangy parts too. Why doesn't Christopher
have it? Is he...." She looked around then at him, leaning
closer. "Is he *deformed*, Daddy?" she hissed. "I don't mind
but you need to tell me these things so I can figure out what to tell
others if they find out."
He hugged her. "He's not deformed, no. That's... that's kind
of a complicated topic, Callia. You should ask Pepper."
She huffed. "I tried but she was talking to a reporter and nearly
quit breathing like Liz does." She stared at him. "So why
are they different if it's not a deformity?"
"That hanging skin is something that some parents have taken off and
some don't," he said. "Apparently Tara and Maria didn't and we had
Christopher's done." He had just won the not too much TMI award
for that one. He was so proud of himself.
Tony took a deep breath. "Some people do it for religious
reasons. Some do it because it's easier to keep boys clean.
Some do it because most everyone else does. It's one of those
decisions you have to make when you have sons."
"Oh." She considered it then shook her head. "Wouldn't that
hurt? It hurt when I kicked Sean there by accident one time."
"Yes but they do it in the hospital before the baby comes home."
"I don't remember Chris going to surgery," she complained.
"They did it the day before he came home," Tony said, patting her on the
head. "It's really nothing you need to wonder about, Callia."
She snorted. "I'm observant, Daddy. Of course I wonder about
those things that're odd." She hopped down and went to talk to
Pepper again. She and Steve were in the office. She closed
the door and checked the phone then looked at them. "Why would we
make a newborn baby brother go through surgery to cut off hanging stuff
that'll make him hurt a whole lot when it's done?"
"Because it's said to be a bit more healthy but the evidence is fairly
odd so I had it done just in case, so it's better for him," Pepper
said. "How did you know about that?"
"No matter how much I hate diapers I still helped change some," she said
dryly, staring at her. "Including John's, Chris's, and Craig's."
"Oh," Steve said, nodding. "Well, in the old days, every boy got it. Now sometimes parents don't."
She looked up then at them. "Why are you all being so nervous about it? Is it some huge secret?"
"Because you don't need to know male anatomy that well," Pepper told
her. "Go stand in a corner." She huffed but did that.
"Ten minutes for the sarcasm."
"Yes, Mommy Pepper." She pouted at the corner, thinking about
it. "Is Auntie Dawn going to do that? And did we do that to
"You won't be finding out either of those, so stop thinking about it," Pepper quipped. "Really."
"Fine, whatever," she complained.
"Want another ten minutes?" Steve offered.
"Nope," she said quickly, checking her watch. Her auntie had
taught her how to tell time. So when it was up she ran off to call
her aunt and ask her about that. Or maybe Grandma if her aunt was
busy. Uncle Clint and Aunt Natasha had just gotten back that
morning so she might be getting tummy rubs or something.
Joyce answered her phone. "Summers." She listened, leaning
back in the chair. "I have no idea why you're thinking about that
subject, Callia, but stop it. Please?" Callia told her and
she sighed. "No, you don't need to know. Not unless you're
dating them and I doubt you're going to date either brother or
John." She rubbed her forehead, wincing. "No, you don't need
to know. Even science has to leave some mysteries for a few years
until it grew up.
"Yes, I'm talking about all science, Callia. Just... don't worry
about that, dear. It's not really important. It's a choice
or a religious matter. Of course. You have a better day too
and find something else to wonder about, like why cat's hair comes in
multiple shades on the same hair but the skin doesn't." She hung
up and groaned. Maria cleared her throat. "She was wondering
why John wasn't circumcised."
"Because Tara said so."
"Not that part."
"Oh. Well, she's a curious little girl in all meanings of the
word," she quipped. "I'm sure her parents can handle it."
"No, she said she already asked. They put her in a corner for asking too many questions."
Maria nodded. "We will be when Melissa or Danielle wonder too." She got back to her paperwork.
Joyce sent Tony an email in warning. That way he could redirect her.
Too bad everyone forgot that Tony and Pepper had taught Callia how to research things online.
JARVIS cleared his throat. "Sir?"
"Yeah," Tony said, looking up and smiling at the person there interviewing. "What's wrong, JARVIS?"
"I've just stopped a certain young scientist using the computers in lab 7 to research her earlier topic of wonder."
Tony thought back then moaned. "Did they let her?"
"Jonathan found her researching it and had a slight meltdown about her being a baby and not needing to see naked adults."
"Great! Where is she?"
"He did the wise thing and brought her to Pepper, sir."
"I'll talk with my spawn in a minute, JARVIS, thanks."
"You're most welcome, sir. She is very curious and quite strong
mentally. She managed to get google to figure out what she meant
and found not only medical sites but adults sites as well." He
Tony winced, rubbing his forehead. "I'm having a stroke," he muttered. "I really am."
The reporter cleared her throat. "Did she just start to wonder how boys and girls are different?"
Tony looked up. "She's helped change diapers with the other kids
in the family. Including Tara's sets of kids. Who aren't
circumcised." The reporter giggled. "So this morning she
thought that Christopher might be deformed and asked how she should
answer that when asked. We tried to divert it but apparently she's
tenacious like her dog."
"My son wondered the same thing then asked if girls had the same surgery. He found out at daycare."
Tony nodded. "I was hoping she wouldn't find out until she was sixteen or seventeen."
"I had to make it a realistic, boring talk so he got bored with it."
"I might have to but everything is something that sparks her curiosity. I love that about her but sometimes......"
"Three more questions then you can go have a talk with her. The
more you talk about such things in a logical, reasonable, healthy
manner, the less likely she'll be to be a teen mother."
"That might help, yes." She went over her last three questions
then he got to go have a meeting with Pepper and Steve about how to stop
Pepper and Steve were letting her vent. "And ewww! It had a
*hole* in it, Mommy Pepper! It had an *earring* in it! Not a
pretty one but still an earring. Like Christy's navel ring that
she keeps flashing by accident. It was really gross!"
"Good," Tony said as he walked in. "We want it to be gross.
We want you to be so grossed out that you never touch one of them ever
again, daughter. Because you don't need to." He shut the
A few hours later, Callia found her grandfather and climbed up to hug him. "Daddy's all bent out of shape."
"Why?" He looked down at her, taking off his glasses. He
saved his work because this looked like a long talk. "What was he
bent out of shape about?"
"I was wondering why John and Chris looked different when I helped change their diapers."
Bruce winced and nodded. "Because some parents make the choice to do the surgery and some don't."
"That's what they said but it didn't answer *any* questions so I went
looking for answers that I wanted. I found a few good medical
sites, including a medical wiki, Granpa."
"That's good. What else did you find?"
"Gross things. Guys who had *earrings* there on the hangy skin and
some that didn't but had them in other places. Someone had a
*tattoo* there. And they were sticking them in places that looked
weird! One even went up a butt!"
He hugged her. "Those are adult things that you do not need to
even consider thinking about until you have had adult issues for at
least a year, Callia. So put them out of your mind."
She looked at him. "I never forget anything."
"Then push them away until you're old enough to want to kiss and cuddle
boys. Because you don't need it until then. Though, I might
Hulk up to threaten your future boyfriends." He smiled.
"Just quit thinking about it. Like you used to do with sheep when
you got fixated on why they were fluffy."
"I remember that weekend. It still gives me a headache." She
snuggled into his chest. "Daddy's so pissed off he had to go to
the infirmary to get calm. Then he went to the caf and stood in
the freezer for a bit. Jonathan yelled at me," she said, sounding
pouty about it. "I wasn't even doing anything wrong, Granpa!"
"Those sites aren't meant for kids, Callia. So you kind of
were." She pouted at him. "Sorry but the truth.
There's an age warning on most of them."
She shrugged. "I didn't see anything."
"Did you read around the pictures on the front page?"
"Those probably said you had to be eighteen to get into the sites."
"Not likely." He patted her on the back. "I'd say you're probably grounded, dear."
She stuck her bottom lip out and looked pitiful. "I just wanted to know. I'm supposed to learn things."
"Yes, science things, not adult things."
"Science things are adult things. Most science stuff isn't for people my age."
He looked at her. "Not that sort of adult. In this meaning, adult means bedroom things."
"Then don't go looking at things like that." She nodded sliding
down. "Go take care of your pets and do a book report on something
really hard." She nodded, going up there to do that. He
sent a text to Pepper and Tony about that. Maybe it had stopped
her before she went looking again. He hoped.
Dawn strolled in the next morning looking happier. She smiled at
Tony and Pepper since they were in the office. "Morning."
"Someone's perky," Tony complained.
She stared at him. "What happened?"
"Callia decided to wonder about foreskins and went looking online," Pepper said.
"You know, there's a great thing called not letting her online for *months* on end," Dawn said dryly. "Even supervised."
"Yes, she is grounded," Tony agreed. "Bruce made sure of it when she went to pout at him."
Dawn shook her head but sat down to get back to work. HR had
complained the forms were incomplete so Dawn sent down copies of arrest
reports from people who had wanted the kid she was carrying. The
letter of apology got sent back in pieces so she was clear there and
they had really deserved it and worse. Dumb idiots. Callia
walked past her desk and paused to hug her. "Morning, niece."
She stared at her. "Are you going to make your baby have the ouchy surgery?"
"Don't know yet. We're talking about it."
"Oh." She frowned. "It seems like it'd hurt a lot."
"They use local anesthetic."
She grimaced. "Still."
"That's between me and Clint, dear."
"Fine." She went into the office. She came out. "On
the medical wiki it talked about adult stuff like sex. How do two
girls do that?"
Dawn stared at her. "Ask me when you're thirteen and you can
actually use the information because you don't need it now and if you
look it up anyway I'm *so* paddling you because it would freak your
mother out to the point of her having a shrieking fit. You are
almost eight, you do not need to know anything about that part of
anyone's body but your own. And the only thing you need to know
about your own is to keep it clean." She stared her down.
"Fine," she huffed. "When do I get to know?"
"Did you see something about periods?"
"Yes. I didn't understand it."
"When you do, you need to know. Then we'll have that talk."
"Oh. So do the twins need it?"
"They've gotten it and they know not to tell you."
She nodded. "I guess I can do that." She went back to the office.
Tony came out to hug her. "Thank you." He went back in there to talk to his very strange little genius daughter.
It was lunch and Callia was pouty. Very pouty. Her aunt was
in a bad mood. All three of her parents were in a bad mood.
Jonathan was still glaring at her and had gotten Andrew to do the same
thing. Even JARVIS was being mean to her. She sent her Uncle
Clint an email saying he was mean to have put her auntie into a bad
mood by coming home. She sent it and went to pout with her
pets. They still loved her, even when she wondered about things.
Maria Hill looked at her phone, blinking a few times. "Someone
forgot to teach her not to hit 'send to all'." Joyce looked at her
phone when she heard that and groaned. Maria called
someone. "Check your email from your niece. She wrote it to
you, Barton." She hung up and erased that email.
"We really need to spank her," Joyce decided.
"That might help," Maria said. "Thankfully ours aren't geniuses."
Clint got into his phone once he had hung up, reading that email. He held it up for Natasha, eating a bite of cereal.
Natasha grimaced. "No, that will not do." She got up and
rinsed out her bowl before putting it in the dishwasher they had
installed earlier. Then she went to the tower. Callia was
pouting because Pepper and Dawn had caught her talking to one of the lab
geeks about a show she wasn't allowed to watch so she had to put the
rating code back on her tv. Natasha solved that the simple
way. She unhooked the tv and walked it out to her father's room.
"Hey!" Callia complained. "I need that."
"No you do not." She took the computer as well. Then came back for the tablets.
"I need those for science stuff and homework!"
"Perhaps if you are lucky your father will allow you to use them under
supervision in the lab. Until then, you are not allowed to touch
another electronic device without supervision for six months."
"Six months?" she demanded. "Why?"
Natasha stared down at her. "Because you have been rude
today. You have gotten into topics that are not age
appropriate. You have gotten onto places that if found out could
get your father into trouble with the legal system, including losing
custody of you and him going to jail. You have broken laws and you
have broken family laws." She tilted her head slightly.
"Were we where I grew up, you would have been paddled and put to work so
that your idle mind did not have the energy to wonder. However
your father does not believe in child labor so you will be punished by
not having access to anything remotely fun for the next six months
without an adult approving it."
"I can't watch my movies?" she begged.
"No. Not in the least. Only good children get privileges and
that is a privilege. In addition, you will go talk to the legal
"Because I did bad things? Are police coming?" she asked, starting to look anxious.
"You will talk to them about that and then you will present your parents
a paper on all the laws you have violated recently, plus the usual
punishments for both an adult doing so and a child doing so. They
will make sure that if you are in real trouble that you are shielded,
this time. That way they can also devise later punishments for
anything you confess during it. Anything you confess would be
shielded but later things or things you do not confess to will not be so
you can be in very bad trouble for that. Do you
understand?" She nodded, looking down. "Good. Clean
your room. It is a pig stye. Vacuum up the pet fur.
Remake your bed, then go down to legal."
"Yes, Auntie Natasha. I'm sorry I did such bad things," she said, looking down.
"It is up to the adults around you to correct such things.
Thankfully we are strong enough to do so. Even if your father
cannot because his own father did not, the rest of us will. Start
now. Legal closes at four." She walked off. She
stopped in at legal herself to talk to the head there. That way
she was expecting it and knew how to prompt her and what to give her so
she could write her report. They had a few interns who could guide
Callia's research as well. That would help their careers.
Then she went up to talk to the parents. Stark was waiting thanks
to her text. She showed him the email.
"I got a copy of that."
"She hit 'send all'," she said dryly. "So, all her electronics are in your bedroom at the moment."
Tony smiled. "I meant to do that last night." Natasha smirked and outlined exactly what her punishment was.
Dawn sniffled and hugged her. "You're so mean but so good at it." She went back to work.
"I see I will be the mean, punishing parent for ours as well," she said
dryly. Dawn grinned at her. She looked at Tony, Pepper, and
Steve again. "I also made her clean. The fur on her rug was
thick enough to count as shag carpeting instead of the industrial one
she actually had."
"I thought Roomba was doing it," Tony admitted, looking at Steve.
Steve shook his head. "Jonathan said that the fur clogged them up horribly the last time."
"Then yes, it's time for her to learn how to clean her room," Pepper agreed. "I could when I was five."
"We'll work on some practical education things," Tony decided.
"After I get that report." He went up to get her laptop and
tablets to take to legal so they could see where she had gotten
onto. He got Jonathan's as well so the porn sites she had accessed
could be gone over. That was easier now that Patty was in her
second trimester. Jonathan hadn't gotten into porn in a few weeks.
Maria Hill woke up somewhere she did not expect. She was in a
chair. A fairly comfortable chair. She tested, no sore
spots, no obvious signs of recent surgery, nothing that would indicate
she had been compromised. She checked the room, ending on the
person staring at her. "Why did you have me captured?"
"I wanted to talk to you, Agent Hill." He stared at her. "I
believe your group has a cancer growing and we must remove it."
She stared at him. "Then the proper procedure is to go to Director Fury and talk to him. Not to me."
"I believe he's been infected by it as well. He's decided to put a few people above the fate of the world."
She had a sinking feeling. She started to pray hard at Coulson, at
Alexander, hell, at Dawn herself. "I do not believe that any
decision he's made has compromised SHIELD's efficiency or effectiveness
in any way, shape, or form. I have no idea who you are, but
release me now or I will make sure that agents find you."
He laughed. "I would not advise that. You would not want
them to find your child, the one you were nursing, here. Would
"I haven't nursed. The milk hasn't dried up yet. It's only
been eight weeks," she said dryly. It was a lie but protecting
them both. "Some women dry up quickly and some do not." She
stared at him. "Beyond that, if you have my child, your life
expectancy is very limited."
"Awww, the love of a mother for a child," he sneered, standing up and
walking over. "If you do as we need you to do, then the child will
come to no harm."
She stared at him. "First, I never believe any kidnapers'
story. They're never fully the truth. Second, if you had
kidnaped my child, SHIELD is already looking for them. They are
implanted with trackers, both chemical and physical. They will
find my child and myself."
"The building blocks that out," he said smugly.
"Nothing blocks out some traces."
"Yes, I've been made aware of your girlfriend's *gifts*," he said with a grimace. "Even that is now blocked."
"I doubt that."
"I can have the child's hand broken to prove it. Pain would set it off, would it not?"
Maria looked at him coldly. "Harm my child. Watch me destroy this whole building."
"You are unarmed."
"Real agents don't need weapons."
He laughed. "No, they don't. So let us end this pissing
match. Hurting your child is no great thrill to me. All I
need you to do is take out this one cancerous being to save your beloved
agency. The one that you carried a child for."
"I did not carry my child for SHIELD. They had nothing to do with my child."
"Really? How did you do the implantation?"
She smirked a bit. "Latex simulated penis."
He blinked a few times. "They can do that?"
"Yes, they can. It works even better than a turkey baster."
"I'll have to keep that in mind. Will you remove that one being or
not? Do remember, it will take them some time to get in here to
where you and your child are." He pointed and a light went
on. It was Craig.
She stared at him. "There is nothing you can do or say that will
keep you from being hunted. Even if you force me to participate,
you will still be hunted and killed."
He shrugged. "The cancer will be gone and SHIELD will once again be the way it should be."
"I doubt that."
"I would do it myself but their security system has proven a bit
irritating. I'm told that your fingerprints are coded into it."
"You were told wrong. The only thing coded to my fingerprints is my gun safe at home."
He laughed. "I know we're not wrong. We had someone look at
the allowed files to see if we could add one. Your name is
"It was rescinded."
"It wasn't yet. They may have said they were going to but it has
not been." He stared at her. "You only need to open the
She stared at him. "Even if I did, you would not win. Dawn
would still be fine. The child she carries would be fine.
The children of her sister would be fine. She would destroy part
of New York over it but they'd all be healthy and happy."
"The public would never allow it."
"They haven't said much about the many times she's had to save herself
from various plots," she said dryly. He sneered. She stared
back. "Even if I were inclined to play along, I would not leave my
son here. I definitely don't trust you." He laughed and
handed her the baby. Craig was sleeping. He was breathing
but he wouldn't wake up. "Did you at least use something that was
safe for infants?"
"As far as the doctor I got it from said. Yes."
"Hmm." She was shouting at Coulson and Xander, hoping like hell
they weren't on Asgard. She even sent a prayer at Thor and
Loki. She stared at him. "My son goes with me."
"Fine. All you have to do is get them past that annoying thing."
She cleared her throat. "It still won't work."
"We'll see." He pushed the button to release her. "They're
waiting in the garage." He sneered. "Sometimes you people
are very predictable." She hit him, which broke his jaw. He
glared. "How dare you," he slurred.
She smirked. "A real agent doesn't need weapons. We are
weapons." She kicked him and ended up killing him.
"Especially when it matters." She looked. No comm
earpiece. No phone. She concentrated. They had to be
on Asgard. Otherwise they would've shown up here. She tried
to sneak out but he had henchmen that dragged her and her son to the
van. Her son went in the other van while she got shoved in the
first one. She was not pleased. She was sending up longer
and louder prayers. This was not the position she wanted to be in.
Dawn felt a tickle and looked up. "What the hell?" she
muttered. She concentrated. Tara was meditating. Maria
was late and couldn't be found. She felt the tickle again and
found Maria, showing Tara where she was. She came out.
"Clint, go remove Maria from the keypad. Someone had Craig and is
making her let them in here." He ran down to do that.
Natasha was calling for backup. "PHIL!" He appeared,
blinking at her. "Scan Maria's location." He did and
growled. Xander appeared, half naked and with his axe. They
shared a look and Xander got onto the elevator to wait. She looked
at him. "I have no idea. The guy who did it is dead."
He nodded. "I'll gather them." He patted her on the cheek. "Take the kids."
"I'm not allowed to teleport," she said quietly.
"Bia! John!" he called. They showed up. He told them
what was going on and they took the kids and Dawn with them. He
looked at Natasha.
"You have a team waiting."
"Good. Thank you." He went to meet them. He looked at
them. "We are going to secure the location that Senior Agent Hill
was kidnaped to. The main person behind it is dead. There
may be more henchmen there." They added more ammo to their
tactical vests and one got handed to him. Phil found the address
again and wrote it down for the driver. He got a nod and they
Fury looked at his phone. It was on vibrate and he thought he had
felt one. No, no message. He put it back into his pocket and
went back to the movie. He had wanted to see it for months now.
Maria touched the button, letting the fingerprint scanner read
hers. It went red but the door opened. She had no idea about
it, she hadn't been here. She got out of the way and went to find
her son. A few of the soldiers were guarding him so she killed
one and took his weapon to kill the rest. She had to duck one shot
and it let her look inside as Alexander came off the elevator with his
axe. Tara appeared and took Craig, which let Maria fight like the
pissed off mother she was. By the time the ones out there were
dead, Xander had made a mess. She panted, looking at him.
"They had Craig," she told him.
"We were talking with Hel about someone who really needs to die," Xander told her. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. Is Craig? Tara, is Craig okay?"
"Napping through it all," she said.
Xander tested him. "Sedated but not unhealthy. Take him to
the ER, ladies." They nodded. "I'll send someone to take a
"Has the building." She sighed and nodded, taking Tara and the
baby with her. Xander walked back in there to squat down and read
the mind of someone who was mostly dead. He still had a tiny bit
of blood being pumped out. What he saw did not amuse him at
all. He and his father *really* needed to have a talk. He
called a shirt because one didn't show up at the white house without
one. He got a file sent to him by Phil. That was proof of
who had set it up. He took it with him, landing in front of the
desk in the oval office. "Sit, Father." His father sat back
down slowly. He looked at him. "We really need to talk to a
few people about some treason things."
"I'll summon the Vice President and a few others," Loki said, sending
out that call to their guards and that it was an emergency. People
came running. He had no idea what was going to happen but he was
not having a good feeling about it.
Xander held up the file. "Proof that the president just had
someone attacked as a start to take down SHIELD. Including
kidnaping an infant and other things." Someone took it and Xander
glanced at him. "Secret Service?"
"Yes, sir. You're Alexander?" He nodded. "Who?"
"Dawn. They were going to kill her and her child to remove the
quote-cancer-unquote from SHIELD. That was the start of a purge
that would've killed most of the effective agents who get things done."
The agent read that over and nodded. "Then it would've moved to other agencies."
"We need them gone so we're lean and able to defeat the horrible things
out there," the president said firmly. "How dare you thwart me,"
he sneered at Xander.
"I've thwarted a lot of things. I've thwarted demonic plans to
take over or end humanity. I've thwarted wars. I've thwarted
plans by gods to take over humanity. I've thwarted godly
wars. Hell, I once thwarted a war between angels and demons over
the fate of humanity. I've thwarted prophecies; I've thwarted my
family having *ideas*. Your pitiful little plan? Wasn't shit
to thwart. Especially when you took one of my stepkids hostage."
Loki looked up then at him. "That one's not your mate's, son."
"Phil still claims him, Dad. That makes him my stepkid."
"Fine," he said, waving a hand. "I had nothing to do with this."
Xander looked at him. "I know. I've already thwarted your
plans to counter SHIELD being reorganized. Would you mind stopping
it since I really do hate to destroy people? Phil doesn't mind
but I'm tired of killing people this week instead of getting sexed
up." Loki gaped, making squeaky noises as he checked. Xander
smirked. "A true warrior never lets the war come to him. It
means you lose people who might be allies, family, or friends. A
true warrior always goes to the war to make sure it doesn't spread," he
said in Dwarven.
His father shuddered. "That is the way of Dwarven war," Loki said. "You learned much from them."
Xander smirked slightly. "They did an excellent job training me
and my mate, Father." He looked at the guards. "What do you
want to do about this?"
"I want Director Fury to know," the head guard admitted. "Then I want to call in higher ups who can make that call, sir."
Xander nodded. "He's at the movies in someone's home movie
theater. They kidnaped his senior agent Maria Hill and her
son." Xander paused the movie on Fury and brought him there.
"The president decided you had cancer like Joyce had."
"Excuse me?" he demanded. The folder was handed over. He looked at the president then at Loki. "Yours?"
"No. I was going to take advantage of your restructuring to slide in some areas that need some guiding toward greatness."
"Pity they're gone," Xander said. He looked at Fury. "I'm pretty sure someone texted you at least."
"I never got one."
Xander took his phone to look at. "You changed phones, Fury. No one has the number."
"I sent it out today," he complained, taking it back. He handed
the folder back to the guard. "I'm all for hanging him."
"Treason is a firing squad, Director," the Vice President said as he walked in.
"Sir," the head guard said, handing over the file.
Xander looked. "Ares."
He smirked. "I needed a day job." He reappeared. The
president gasped and started to babble. He stared at him.
"Shut up." He read it over, nodding.
"Your consort?" one of the guards asked.
"Discord," Ares said simply. "There's enough hell and chaos here
to fund her powers for generations from a single year." He went
back to reading. "Interesting. The agent they captured?"
"Maria's fine and taking the baby to the ER," Xander said. "Though
I'm not real fond of you being in charge either. Especially since
I have to keep pulling things off New York."
Ares grimaced. "The military presence right now needs to be
slightly manipulated so it's ready for a later invasion or other
Xander pulled that folder to hand to him. "In about a century or so. I had someone ask some sentient spores."
Loki gave him an odd look. "Spores?"
"Yes. Back when Warren went nuts? We found them." He looked at Ares.
"That's what we need to prepare for," he agreed. "Who knows?"
"It's why Fury moved Stargate under him," Xander said with a grin.
Ares looked at him. "You do good protecting humanity, kid.
Nice job." He handed the folder to the head guard. "We'll
step out gracefully." He disappeared to go pack. Since his
identity had been found out, no one was going to let him lead the
US. Russia maybe but not the US.
Xander looked at the guards then at his father. "You didn't realize?"
"He hid it specifically from me, son, and we were never in the same
room," he said, grimacing and relaxing again. "I believe this pawn
is no longer worthy of my support."
"Unlike being a queen married to a rightful king, it doesn't mean you
take over," Xander said with a grin. "Sorry, Charlie." His
father glared and packed then left. He rolled his eyes, looking at
Fury. "We have Dawn and the twins safely hidden somewhere.
John and Bia did it."
"Good," Fury said. He looked at the other agency heads that were there. "Well?"
The agency heads talked and nodded. "He's to be arrested," the
head of the Secret Service said. "We'll have to talk to the
Speaker of the House and the Pro Tempore President of the Senate."
Calls were made and the president was arrested. A fast search of
his office led them to finding the other folders on his plans. One
from Loki as well that made Fury pissed off but Xander shrugged and
grinned. So apparently it was already taken care of.
The next in line for the head office showed up together looking
grim. They were briefed and it would be announced the next day
after the necessary things were taken care of. They hadn't been
aware of Ares' being the VP but they were not amused. They tried
to complain at Xander, who pointed out he stayed out of politics because
they all had cooties and he didn't want infected with ambitious moron
cooties. Fury laughed and nodded. Xander dropped him off at
home. Then he went to check on Dawn and the kids. Who were
in Sean's room on Atlantis. He looked at her. "It wasn't
Dawn shook her head. "Great."
He grinned. "Solved."
"Ares is no longer pretending to be the VP."
She shook her head with a sigh. "Someone needs a swift kick."
"Yup. He was thinking about changing his identity around and going
to lead Russia so they're prepared for the next real alien invasion."
Dawn rubbed her forehead. "No, please no."
Xander hugged the kids. "Behave. Try to rest." He went
to check on his mate, who was almost scowling. He was back in
field persona so he never had a full expression. He looked at the
agents. "There's been a huge shakeup. Fury's aware of
it. He changed his phone earlier." Phil huffed. Xander
smiled and sent over what had happened privately.
Phil looked at him. "Seriously?"
"I wondered why you were looking at some corporations. I was hoping it was for investment purposes."
"Two are. They're good companies that were being manipulated by
the anti-Stark." He grinned and blew a kiss. "Let me go
check on the dogs." He left.
Phil shook his head slightly. One of the very junior agents,
barely out of training, looked at him. "Sir, there's rumors that
your marriage was forced on you?"
"If you're ever invited to a godly banquet they're planning on marrying
you to a god of some sort," he said. "Even if you aren't dating."
"I'll keep that in mind, sir." He got back to work. That was very weird but good advice to have.
Hera appeared, smiling at Phil. "My son was doing what? Zeus wants to know."
"He was pretending to be the vice president, Hera."
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Why?"
"He told Alexander it was so he could make sure the military was
upgraded to the point of being able to handle the next alien
invasion. Apparently he had pulled Discord as his supposed wife so
she could soak up some of the chaos power there."
"That might have been helpful but probably disturbing and that is
against the rules we set down. Thank you, Phil." She patted
him on the cheek. "Are you sure you don't want more children
"The two new ones were just born, Hera. I don't think we could
handle it and frankly we'd have to have a long discussion about who
would carry it easier."
"Good point." She left.
"Always be polite and nice to Hera," Phil instructed. "She is the
head of the Goddess Tea Society and they are frankly very scary when
they're mad." The agents all nodded at that. "As in they
destroyed a lot of people the last time they got mad. Including an
Ori fleet." The rookies moaned and the senior agents remembered
that. A few even crossed themselves and said prayers.
One of the strike team looked at the rookies searching the
building. "That ranks up there with never piss off the pregnant
witch because there's no telling what form you'll end up in but you
probably won't like being a pet."
"Dawn has moved from mice to hedgehogs at the request of Agent Barton," Phil said.
"At least we'd never be accidentally put into an experiment and if we're
trapped in that form in Stark tower we probably won't be chased by
Callia Stark's pets," that senior agent quipped.
"Perhaps. Though Dawn's cat Loki might. He's tried to track
Carrot a few times and the rabbit outweighs him by about three times his
The strike team agent shook his head quickly. "No thanks. Heard about their staring cat."
Phil smiled slightly. "Loki does adore his family. He even
wakes them up from nightmares. Though he does not like being
kicked by the future agent. He tends to bat at her stomach
whenever the baby kicks and hiss a bit at it. Tara's said it was
the pre-birth version of the scary sheet monster game that her cat
"That's why I have a dog, sir."
Phil nodded. "We have many war dogs. Most of them are a bit strange. Especially the ones with wings."
"Is that a recognized breed?" one of the rookies asked. "I saw that fight, sir."
"They bred while under the wing spell creating a mutation."
"Does Alexander let them be adopted as service or working dogs?" that
rookie asked. "I'd love to be a dog handler some year, sir."
"I'll ask him. They can all track and hunt." He sent that
thought at Xander, who said that spare war dogs have been offered that
way but not to the blind. They had the wrong temperament for that
service. "He said that they have in the past. I'll see if
there's any presently. We do have training for K-9
handlers." The rookie beamed and nodded.
"Don't feed it bacon," another member of the strike team said. "All of Alexander's war dogs fart horribly on bacon."
"Any pig. Ares nearly declared war after they stole a ham," Phil said dryly.
"Sorry for your bedroom then, sir," the strike team agent quipped.
"They tend to sleep at Colonel Sheppard's temple. They like his
couch more." He smirked slightly. "Or with Bia since she
cuddles." The more senior agents all laughed. Most of
them had met Bia when she was training. The rookies still had hero
worship over her saving them from the mean obstacle course a few times.
Dawn showed up at work the next morning, looking around the admin
area. Then in the office. No one. It was pretty
quiet. She called. "Are we in Malibu for safety
reasons?" She blinked. "No, it's eight. I should be
here." She looked at her phone. "It says it's eight,
"It's only eight if you're set on Chinese time," Tony complained
loudly. "Go home. Get sexed up. Whatever," he said
then hung up.
Dawn frowned at her phone. Then thought at Clint, who had her
brought back so they could put her back into bed. "But it's
He took her phone and adjusted the time setting. "It's on Taiwan time, Dawn."
"Why?" she asked her phone.
"Because Sean got into it," he said. He got her stripped back down
and into the bed, laying on her shoulder. She snuggled in and
smiled, letting him help her get back to sleep. He looked at
Natasha, who shook her head but was smiling. This sort of problem
they could handle. Alien ascended showing up and bowing to her
like had happened at dinner, not so amusing.
Dawn showed up the next morning, blinking hard. She was still
sleepy. Pepper stared at her. "You're taking the ten minutes
you got last night into account?"
Dawn nodded and yawned. "I think so."
"I'm pretty sure," Pepper said with a smile. "Want a nap, Dawn?"
"No, I just got up." She sat down and got to work. She slowly nodded off, fighting it the whole way.
Tony walked past and shook his head. "I remember you doing
that. That's when you went on maternity leave," he told
Pepper. Natasha showed up and stared at Dawn. "Totally
"She has just under two months left to go."
Pepper shrugged. "I pretty well cat napped my way through my last
trimester, Natasha." Dawn woke up with a gasp and got back to
work. "Dawn, maybe you should take a day."
"I don't need it. Sorry about that. Did I miss a call?"
"No. Your phone woke you earlier." Tony and Pepper shared a smile.
Natasha took her wife from behind her desk. "I will do this. You will go nap for thirty minutes in the break room."
"But that's lunch," she complained. "I can't work late tonight, Clint's cooking."
Tony walked out and walked her to the break room, making her sit down
then pushing her over. "Rest. We are not that mean."
He walked off texting Clint.
Clint appeared with Xander, talking quietly to him. Natasha looked
up from typing, staring at them, one eyebrow going up. Clint
grinned. "We're going to do some safety things. Stark, she's
going on maternity leave."
"Sure," he agreed. "The twins coming to us?"
"Sean's jealously guarding them and the Marines are fussing over them,"
Natasha said dryly. "Apparently they've never seen pretty children
Clint kissed her. "I'm sure you got some of that at their age."
"Not likely." She smiled. "Where are we doing safety things?"
"We are doing them at my cabin," Xander said with a grin. "No
ascended on Asgard trying to make her regain her glowy ball of energy
form instead of being in mortal form." Tony groaned. "Oh, so
much. Rodney's ranting at them and promising to destroy them
all. I'm going to help." He grinned. He grinned at
Clint. "Two weeks per day so three days should do it, four at the
most. While you're there, get a new deer to put up?"
"We can do that." Xander got them what they'd need and grabbed
Dawn to take with them and Phil. Phil helped Natasha set things up
and they'd let Dawn sleep for now. Xander and Phil went back to
work while the trio got comfy in the huge bed with the furs for blankets
and the hugely fluffy pillows. Clint grinned at Natasha.
"So we all get maternity leave."
She smiled back. "Plus some deer hunting in."
He nodded. "She'll like that." They snuggled in around Dawn. Her sleepiness was contagious.
Dawn walked out the next morning, handing Clint a thermos of coffee and
his bow, giving him a kiss. "Are we going hunting?"
"Only if you can stay still, which you probably can't while you're being
kicked." He stroked her stomach and grinned. "I'll bring
you back one."
She smiled. "Fine. Next year though....."
"We'll go back to North Dakota to get one." She smiled and nodded,
leaning against him so the baby could kick him for a bit too.
Clint needed kissed until he was dizzy.
He finally pulled back and shook his head. "Go pounce
Natasha. Let her talk to the baby so he loves her just as much as
we do." He kissed her on the tip of the nose and hiked off into
the forest around the cabin Xander had hidden.
Dawn went back inside and took off her jacket, climbing back into bed
with Natasha, who shivered and pulled her closer. Dawn nibbled on
her shoulder, making her wake up with a moan. "Clint said you got
to talk to the baby all by yourself today." She grinned.
Natasha smirked. "I will do that when I'm properly awake."
She kissed her and let Dawn snuggle in. Dawn was under orders not
to get off until she was ready to deliver. That gave her and Clint an
unfair advantage but they routinely broke that rule for Dawn.
Though, Dawn did give back as good as she got. As she was proving
Dawn walked into the birthing center alone, because they were in a
meeting and could not get free. Fury even had the building
shielded so she couldn't summon them. She stared at the
nurse. "I've been having contractions for two days. My water
finally broke an hour ago. Traffic is hell today." The
nurse smiled and took her information to find her file. They got
her checked over and into her room. She sent a thought at her
spouses again, who were blocked off. Then she checked. Stark
was bored. That was a good way to get Clint out of the meeting of
doom. Because Tony would have him kidnaped for her. She
summoned Tony, making him fall on his ass. "Since mine are
busy...." She smiled. "Be a hand holder and ice chip
"I can do that but I am not watching you deliver this kid, Dawn. I
do not want to see that much of you." He settled in to distract
her. "That meeting?"
"Fuck yes. I'm going to gut Fury."
He smiled. "Make him do this. I'm pretty damn sure he'd let
them come after a few minutes of you breaking his hand." She
winced and grabbed the bed. "You know the breathing. C'mon,"
he coached. She shook her head. "No? Gas pain
"Kicking like shit. Son, please?" He laughed and patted her
stomach through the sheet. The baby kicked harder. "Son!"
she complained. Tony heard the bad noise. Dawn heard it when
he stiffened. "If that's an attack, give me a gun?"
"I do not have one on me." She pointed. He checked, her
purse had two. "That's nice." He flipped open his phone,
pointing his gun at the person stomping into the room with a machine
gun. "Barton, saving your wife. Birthing center." He
hung up. "What do you want?"
"We're to take her into custody, sir, and if we have to we're approved to use lethal force."
Dawn blinked at him. "Tony, we're on the third floor?"
He looked. "Fourth."
"Cool." She removed the window and threw him out it, then put the
window back. She put her head back down. "Ow, kid.
"Hey, nurse?" Tony called. She came in. Tony tucked the gun
back into the bag with a smile. Dawn had picked this birthing
center because it was private, it was very security conscious, had dealt
with people who had security details before, and they were very sweet
when Dawn checked. "They're no longer bothering her. Come
check this. The little guy won't quit."
She came over to check Dawn. "You're making good progress."
She patted the moving stomach. "Do you remember the rubbing that
they taught you in lamaze class?" she asked Tony.
"She's my assistant. I'm filling in while her spouse is somewhere
else. I barely got to attend one session when my own son was
Dawn looked at her. "There's two that might be showing up.
One's really nice and built. Probably has on his sunglasses
again. The other is our wife, who is a redhead. They both
had better have at least looked at the tapes."
The nurse smiled. "We have a doula on staff."
"I have a mom. She's at SHIELD right now. She doesn't want
to see me in labor." The nurse cooed. Dawn winced and tried
to curl up some. "Son, I swear to fucking god if you don't stop it
I'm going to teleport and leave you here." The nurse laughed and
helped her calm down again. Tony was sending text messages to
everyone. Bruce sent back that the meeting had been interrupted by
someone from the CIA shooting at people. Dawn looked at
him. Tony showed her the text.
Dawn growled. "Fuck 'em." The nurse laughed. Dawn
pulled someone. "Since you've managed to inconvenience me yet the
fuck again, Fury, you get to hold my goddamn hand while I'm mother
fucking labor! So unless you can find my damn spouses, get to it!"
He flinched. He wasn't used to Dawn swearing at him anymore.
"How would I know anything about this! Not even *your* kid's
going to come out with a gun in his hand." She growled and he
could feel fur starting to sprout on his back and arms. "Stark,
can't you calm her down?"
"Have you ever seen a kid being born? Pepper doesn't have any
magic yet she nearly changed me into something because I was busy when
it started." Dawn laughed then whimpered and curled up
again. "You've had worse than this. I'm sure you have."
She looked at him. "It feels like the kid's trying to pull my spinal cord with him, Tony!"
"That's normal," the nurse soothed. "Sir, come hold her hand at least. It might calm her down."
Fury gave her a dirty look. "No!" Someone rushed in and he
shot them. "I'll guard her instead." The nurse glared.
"I'll find a silencer," he offered.
"Fuck this shit!" Dawn shouted. Suddenly the room was filled with
colors and the guy Fury had shot was now begging for mercy.
"I. Am. Busy. Come back the fuck later to try to kill
"Sure," he begged in a squeak. "Please let me live!"
"Am I the fucking Merciful goddess?" she demanded. "I'm in
*labor*! I'm in fucking pain and you're making it worse! I
get to be a bitch for another two damn weeks due to the hormones but
today I am THE Bitch!" The guy crawled to Fury and tried to hide
Fury looked down at him. "I can't save you. She'll get me
too because her spouses aren't here. They're off fighting with
your people." There was an explosion outside. Fury and Stark
both looked. "Let me go handle that." He rushed off.
He did not want to see this! The idiot crawled after him since
Fury's hole in his leg meant he couldn't run.
Tony looked at her. "Calm down, Dawn."
"I am calm," she growled.
"You're not calm. You sound like Garnet when she's in heat.
Calm is not growling. Calm is smiling and laughing and hoping like
hell that I don't need the suit that's halfway across town." He
called. "Pepper, I might need the suit." He hung up.
Dawn was trying to get up so he helped her, letting her look
outside. Suddenly, all the bad guys turned into frogs. "Very
classical, thank you, Dawn." The look on Fury's face as he
watched the frogs hopping on their former guns was priceless. He'd
have to hack their security cameras later to get a picture.
Sure, he was humoring her, but he didn't want to know what she'd do if
he didn't. Dawn had a temper, gifts to go with it, and very little
self control for anything but pain at the moment. That stopped
that fight very fast and Fury could work on finding Natasha and
Clint. He helped her when another contraction hit and she had to
lean on his arm. "C'mon, bed. Time for bed." He got
her back into it with the nurse's help. "It's been an insane
"Next time I'm having a daughter. They'll want her less," Dawn quipped. "Because they all think girls are weak."
Tony laughed. "I know better than that. Half the women I
know can kick my ass." Pepper walked in and handed him the
portable suit. "Fury still running?"
"Calling it in. They're not at the meeting," she told Dawn.
"They had to run after someone." Dawn growled. "I
know. I'm going to kick their asses for you because you're going
to be too sore to do it yourself."
"I was taught to fight through pain," Dawn said. "Can't I just teleport and leave the baby here?"
"No. You might leave an important part." Pepper settled in
to help her through this while Tony got out of harm's way to handle
things. "Liz is very upset that she didn't get to stalk you
yesterday like usual. She pouted all day at Beya and Chris."
Dawn grinned. "How far apart?"
"Six minutes," the nurse said.
"It's been two days. It happens today one way or another," Dawn told her.
"Do you want to talk about a c-section?" the nurse asked.
"No. Drugs I'll consent to."
"Okay." She went to talk to the doctor. They had medicine to
help speed up the process. Dawn consented to that and it was
started in her IV. Pepper kept her calm. There were no more
stupid people with guns but a few reporter types showed up.
Pepper was checking her watch. It had been four hours. "They
should be done by now," she muttered. Dawn was dozing for a few
minutes. She called and texted. Nothing. She
sighed. Dawn flinched and panted through the next
contraction. "Good girl, Dawn. I'm trying to figure out
where they are."
Dawn looked at her then summoned someone. Benji yelped as he
landed on his butt. "I saw your boss in his mind. I'd really
appreciate him being here, Benji."
"I'm trying, Dawn. They're chasing someone. I lost track of
Ethan too." He stood up, pulling out his phone. "Track and
help them. Dawn's in labor." He hung up. "Just... keep
calm or whatever." He was backing away slowly. "I'll do my
best to find him in the next few minutes." He ran from the room
Pepper laughed. "Labor does tend to turn strong men into scared little boys."
"That's because those sort never get that close to a vagina. If
they practiced more oral sex they wouldn't be scared of it or what comes
out of it." Pepper laughed. Dawn hugged her. "Can't
we beam them in?"
"No and Rodney's already heard. He's locked himself in a
beam-proof room." Dawn shrugged but pouted. "Why didn't
Joyce want to come?"
"She doesn't want to see either of us in labor. She apparently
delivered Buffy in the backseat on the way to the hospital."
"Wonderful." Pepper used the damp cloth on Dawn's forehead.
"It's about time." Dawn nodded one was starting and started the
breathing. It was dark before anyone gave them a progress
update. That was from the hallway and from Phil.
"We have them narrowed down to a borough."
Dawn looked at the doorway. "You've seen it before."
"Not with you. I can handle seeing it with Maria and Tara but not you, Dawn." He disappeared again.
Dawn looked at Pepper. "I'm feeling very unloved and abandoned."
"I know, but I still love you like a sister." She hugged
her. "They'll be found or I'm going to gut them both myself."
"Then I'd have to take care of all of us," Dawn complained.
"Okay, I'll give them a few days reprieve until you and the baby are okay."
"Philip Ivar," she said quietly.
"I can do that."
"And if Clint's not here, he's a Barton or a Summers-Barton, not a Summers."
She smiled. "We can do that too." She sponged her head off
again. "Nurse, she's getting really warm." She came in to
check her over. Some oxygen got started. Dawn's contractions
weren't speeding up any but she was almost fully dilated.
Clint looked up and winced. "She was right, her being in labor is
not something I can get distracted from." He gasped and held his
stomach. "Ow, damn it."
Ethan looked at him. "She's been looking for you all day long. It's just now happening?"
"Yup. I could ignore it earlier." He felt at Natasha, who
was trying hard to ignore it. He looked at Ethan. Then at
Phil when he appeared. "Handle this?"
"Gladly." He sent him to the birthing center. John was
handling Natasha's while Xander was fixing the other problem.
"Agent Hunt, I'm Agent Coulson."
"How did you appear that way?"
"I'm Alexander's mate."
"Oh, so you can share skills?"
Phil smirked. "Not exactly." Ethan shivered. "How many
and where?" Ethan laid out what they knew. Phil scanned and
corrected something then they moved in. This had gone on long
Dawn blinked when someone appeared. "Natasha!"
"Dawn." She gripped the footboard of the bed. "Why do you not have drugs?"
"This is with drugs."
"Oh." She came over to hold her hand, taking a kiss then putting
the oxygen mask back in place. Clint appeared and had to grab the
bedrails. "This is with drugs," Natasha told him.
"Welcome to the end stage of labor," Pepper quipped with an evil looking smirk.
"Nurse, can she please have more painkillers?" Clint asked. "Like a
lot?" Pepper slugged him on the arm. "They have three
"Excuse me for being on day three of labor," Dawn complained. "Fuck 'em, they can be toads."
"Breathe," Pepper reminded her, glaring at the two spouses. They
settled in to help her. They had went over the tapes at least once
but Dawn wasn't all that calm. Pepper helped and got her calmed
back down. The nurse brought in more painkillers for her.
They all sighed in relief, earning a strange look. "Dawn can
broadcast a bit," she said with a smile. "It's great at times."
Clint nodded. "It means she can't hide injuries from us."
Dawn glared at him. He grinned. "You do." She flipped
him off. "I know. Is that gnawing feeling normal?" The
nurse nodded. "How long?"
"Probably a few hours." She smiled and checked Dawn then went to
make notes. Her OB had been notified and had checked on her then
went home until it was closer to time. Thankfully they weren't all
that busy today.
Tony walked in the next morning. "We are never doing this again,"
Clint said, sounding hoarse. "Ever." Clint and Natasha were
both dripping with sweat and looked worn out. Clint could barely
sit up by himself at the moment. Labor had not been fun for them
because Dawn had *shared*. This was an only child because she had
"She wanted a daughter next time because no one would want her."
"I'll have the next one instead," Clint said. "It'll hurt less." He looked around. "Nursery."
"Wonderful." He handed them food and coffee. "Eat." He
walked off to the nursery. He found someone familiar there.
"I did not know they let reporters stare at babies," he said, making
her jump. "Guard, she's a reporter."
"We wanted to check on Dawn's child. He's early."
Tony stared at her. "A few days on Asgard because of things like
yesterday. Get out of the hospital. Do not print a single
picture without their authority. SHIELD is having fits about you
people again." She slumped and stomped off. Tony confiscated
the camera and erased all the pictures of the kids. "Didn't even
get her kid." He handed it to the guard and looked in there.
He spotted him. "He's a lot prettier than Christopher was.
"According to the papers, her spouses are model pretty," the guard said.
"Pepper used to be a model," Tony said with a small shrug. "That
one's blessed beyond that." He moved closer, staring at him.
The baby was kicking up a fit. He leaned in. "Can I see my
assistant's kid? She nearly traumatized me by making me watch her
"We'd have to get parental permission, sir."
"I can do that." He walked off to get Dawn to give it to the
nurse. Him and Pepper only with her spouses. Everyone else
was not allowed near the hospital. Including Joyce and
Bruce. Which would make Joyce cry but it was her thing that had
done it. He went back there and got put into the sterile gown and
gloves, being handed the baby. "Okay, Philip. Let's talk
like men," he said, which made the baby calm down.
"I know, it's a huge thing out here. It's bright, it's shiny, it's
twinkly when your cousins come near you because they are. But you
gotta calm down. You can see mom in a few minutes.
Deal?" The baby moaned. "Mine did the same thing but they
always seemed happy so I'm guessing that's happy zombie noises."
The nurse laughed and nodded. "Just think, you have four cousins
that are going to drive you nuts and a few honorary ones that'll never
let you be put down either. You're going to be spoiled
rotten. Especially when your grandmother apologizes for not
wanting to help her daughter through labor. Though I'm not sure
why not, who knows."
He shifted his hold on the baby. "Better?" The baby
yawned. "I know. It's a hard thing being born. Being a
stud is always hard work. Just think about all the gym time
you've got coming up. You're going to have years of workouts and
self defense lessons and having your mom and stepmom and dad beating
people off you like your cousins do. So just relax, let it happen,
do what you gotta do to get there, and someday you can maybe try out
the suit if Chris doesn't like it. Okay?" The baby yawned at
him again. He grinned. "Good, I'm glad we could agree to
this. Ready to lay down?" The baby set up a fuss.
"Your cousin Callia did the same thing. She would not let us put
her down. Had to have bare skin too." He stared at
him. "Can he see mom?"
"If she's awake." She called up there. "Is the redhead related?"
"Her and the archer are both Dawn's spouses. Long suffering,
horny, hyper, deadly spouses." The nurse shivered. He
grinned. "She's going to beat them later for making her go through
so much of her labor without them." He stood up. "Gotta be
"For safety reasons, yes, sir." She got the baby back into the
basinet and rolled him up there with Tony following no matter how much
the baby fussed at being put down. They found them being guarded
and all the windows closed. "Is there a new threat?" the nurse
"Only from reporters," Ethan said. He smiled and waved. "Hey, kiddo."
Clint flinched awake, yawning and scanning the room. "Hey, you're
human colored again," he said, taking the baby from the holder.
The baby yelled. "Please don't, son. I'm not mean to you or
your moms. Okay? Just...we'll figure it out. I used to
talk to you." Dawn yawned and shifted but winced. "Wanna
cuddle the Natasha mommy?" Natasha gave him a horrified
look. He stared at her.
She took the baby to hold and murmur at. He liked that and tried
to latch on. "Those are not bottles." She handed him to Dawn since
she was trying to wake up.
Dawn blinked. "Hey, Philip." He made groaning noises.
"Callia did the same thing and so did Liz." She undid her top to
nurse him. Tony and Ethan went to look out the windows. She
blinked down there. "Hunt, why are you here?"
"Guarding you on Fury's orders. That way he doesn't have to see
you in here again." He grinned at her. "There's about ten
"I sent one fleeing from the nursery," Tony said. He glanced back
then looked at him. "How many are left?" he asked quietly.
"Three. One on the roof."
Clint got up to go look. "That's my ex, Claudia. She's a whole different problem."
"Okay," Ethan said. "Good to know." He called that in.
"I feel like we should find a balcony and hold him up like they do royal
babies," Dawn said dryly. "Then maybe the reporters will leave us
Tony smiled. "I nearly did that with Callia a few times."
Dawn finished up and let him rest against her side so they could turn
back around. Natasha had a look on her face. Tony poked her
on the arm, getting glared at for it. "If you want one of those,
have one of those." He looked at Dawn. "Pepper's switched
everything around on you. The kids are with Grandma. I'm
going to talk to Bruce to see if she's just hospital phobic now or
something. You get out tomorrow?" The nurse watching them
nodded. "Then we'll make sure you get home, guys." He patted
Dawn on the foot. "Rest. You'll need it."
He left to spread the news. The reporters pounced on him.
"People, quit making Dawn upset! She's still got hormone
swings. She said she can still be a bitch for the next two
weeks." Her heard a frog and looked around. "Did they miss
one in the clean up?" A few reporters fled. He smiled.
"Philip Ivar Summers is very healthy. He just had a mom
snack. Mom's exhausted from three days of labor. She's hiding the
baby from all of you so go home." They pouted. "She's not
going to let you people see the kid at all. You know that."
They groaned but packed up and went home. Only one stayed to catch
them coming out. Tony stared at her. "It'll be tomorrow or
the next day." She huffed off. He went back to the training
area at the second tower. "He's fine."
"No pictures?" Steve asked.
"He'll be home tomorrow." Tony sat down and looked at Bruce. "What is her issue?"
"She won't tell me. I'm not sure but I know she said she refused
to get near Buffy when she was in labor." He shrugged. "Is
"Yup. She put on there that no one but me and Pepper can visit
since we all basically abandoned her and made her summon help."
Bruce sighed but nodded. Steve pouted a bit. "She even
called Fury," Tony told him.
"We were fighting the forces of evil that would've hurt the baby," Steve said.
"He'll be home tomorrow and Dawn's in a crappy, tired mood," Tony told him. "Because she was in labor for a few days."
"She was at work the day before," Bruce said, starting to frown.
"Dawn was taught to work through pain," Steve said. "She said it
was from self defense lessons." Tony nodded it was.
"Anything we can do?"
"Not sure yet. I ran off the reporters. I also fled as soon
as I could because I didn't want to see her slightly naked, sweaty, and
pushing out the baby."
"Not something I could've handled seeing. Pepper's nearly made me pass out," Steve said, shifting in his seat.
"We'll handle it like always," Bruce decided. They nodded they could do that.
Callia was out with her dog for a necessary walk while her father went
to get ice cream for them. Stepmommy Steve had wanted it so they
A reporter smiled at Callia. "What do you think about the current politics of Mr. Abraham?" she asked.
Callia gave her a funny look. "You know I'm nearly eight,
right?" She nodded with a smile. "What makes you think I pay
attention to that yet?"
"You've had some very adult viewpoints in the past and he would be
impacting your aunt's relationship, as well as your father's."
"I think you have moron cooties so please get away from me before they
spread." The reporter flinched back. "Moron cooties are very
communicable and a lot of very smart people think they're the biggest
threat to humanity's health ever. Thankfully I got inoculated by
this great thing called *education*. That means I read and think
about what I read. That's why I know asking a kid who's nearly
eight about politics is really fucking dumb." The guard with her
was choking. "Now, can you please take your moron cooties
somewhere else before you infect others? Because not everyone got
the same level of inoculation. You clearly only went to second
grade so your inoculation ran out a long time ago."
"Ma'am, please leave Miss Stark alone," the guard ordered.
Tony walked over with his ice cream cone and one for Steve. "What's wrong?"
"She's trying to infect me with very communicable moron cooties,
Daddy." She smiled. "Because she thought I might be
following politics already. I kindly told her how to get the
inoculation we all got but she's maybe a bit slow because she never made
it out of second grade." She reached for the ice cream.
"Can I have some?" she asked with a grin.
"You're still grounded so hell no. This is Steve's." She
pouted. "And you added an extra paper to your homework for
spending way too much time with your Uncle Rodney." He
smirked. "Go do your business, dog." He peed on a
bush. Tony looked at the reporter. "While my daughter is
rude, she's also correct. You really needed that education
inoculation booster from high school and critical thinking class."
"She asked me about Mr. Abraham's bs, Daddy."
"Huh. If we can't pass regular laws in our own belief system, why
would we be able to pass them in another's?" She stomped
off. He smirked at her back. "Critical thinking. It
might save humanity so I don't have to," he called after her with a
smile and a wave. The guard was moaning. Tony smirked and
went inside, handing Steve his ice cream and letting Pepper steal
his. He had gotten it in her favorite flavor anyway. He
pulled up the security footage, making Pepper choke. He
grinned. "I have to send that to Rodney."
"Send it with a reminder not to infect her with aloof genius cooties," Pepper complained, eating her ice cream.
Tony added that and sent it to Rodney then to Dawn's phone. She'd
like that. She loved Callia being mouthy and smartass.
Dawn blinked when her purse rang. "That's Stark's ringtone."
Natasha looked in there and dug out her phone, getting into the
email. She stifled a snicker, letting them see Callia's latest
thing. "I agree, moron cooties are the greatest risk to humanity
Dawn nodded, looking down at their baby. "You'll never have moron
cooties." Clint laughed, taking him to burp. She
"Later. Doc'll be here about dinner to let you go home," Clint
said. She nodded and yawned again, falling asleep. He let
the baby nap on him. He'd wake up if he tried to put him
down. Natasha took the baby when he got up to go to the
bathroom. When he came back the nurse was scowling. "We were
told the doctor wasn't going to let her go until tonight."
"He's not. Why isn't he in his basinet?" Natasha put him
down and the baby instantly woke up to scream at them for it. Dawn
moaned but Natasha grabbed the baby and Clint got Mommy back to
sleep. "Some kids do that."
"Her cousin had to be carried and have bare skin from what Stark said," Natasha said.
"I've seen a few of those." She went to make that note. The
nursery had been wondering why the baby hadn't come back up yet.
It was because he had fussy parents.
Clint grinned at Natasha. "You look very comfy."
"It feels a bit awkward but it's something I will get used to."
She patted the baby on the back, making him burp. "Thank you,
Philip." She wiped off her shoulder and let him go back to his
A few days later, Clint came out of the apartment with Philip on his
chest in a snuggler. Reporters were hovering so he glared at
them. "People, go away." There were blinding flashbulbs
going off and a bit of crowding in the group of reporters, because they
knew not to crowd him.
"Going for a walk?" one asked, trying to take a picture of the
baby. She couldn't due to the ballcap the baby was wearing.
"When do we get pictures of him?"
"You won't. Dawn's about ready to start looking up illusion and
disguise spells, possibly even a gender reassignment spell to get him
away from you guys." He adjusted the baby's hat and looked around
again. "Go. Away."
"You've been very hands on," another said.
"Yeah, he hates to sleep if he's not being carried. Callia went
through that too," he said dryly. "Thankfully he doesn't need bare
skin like she did. Watch me call for backup because you're
blocking the sidewalk." They made exit corridors for him.
"Thank you!" He walked off, taking the nearest cab to SHIELD's
HQ. When he got there, there was a sign saying simply 'we have
moved to the backup location'. Clint sighed and got another cab
there. It meant a longer commute for him and Natasha. He
walked in and shook his head. "Why?"
"Press, Agent Barton."
"Yay. I threatened them with arrest earlier." The guard
looked at the tiny lump he was carrying. "He hates to sleep in his
bed." He went upstairs. Phil was in there today with Xander
doing paperwork. He tapped and walked in. Phil stared then
smiled and took the baby from him. "He's more picky than you are
about your suits."
"He is," Phil said with a smile for the baby. He had woken up when
he had gotten moved so Phil was being glared at. "I'm sorry I
woke you but you're too adorable to hide." The baby made sucky
faces. "I can't feed you."
Clint pulled out the bottle that had been next to the baby to hand
over. "Mom pumped. She even made jokes by mooing."
"Most women who breast pump call it robot porn," Xander said with a
grin. He waved at the baby. "Hi, little Phil." The
baby drank some and slowly went back to sleep. "He good?"
"He's fine. Did you guys get sent Callia's latest thing?" He
sent it to Xander's phone when he shook his head. They watched it
and laughed. Clint took the baby back and put him back into the
snuggler, tucking the bottle next to him. "Okay, let me go get the
stupid paperwork I got demanded to pick up, then we'll go back to help
"Still sore?" Phil asked.
"Still tired. He will not sleep for anything unless he's being
held so Dawn and I took turns last night on the couch with him on our
chest." Phil smiled. "Say night, kiddo." He put his
ballcap back on him and headed upstairs. A few agents tried to
take pictures but he glared and they backed down. Sitwell stopped
him to look at the baby, handing him a card. Clint grinned.
"Welcome. How's Dawn?"
"Exhausted. He won't sleep."
Sitwell laughed. "I'm told they do that." Clint nodded,
heading upstairs once the card was in his back pocket. Maria
smiled at him. "He's sleeping."
"I heard." She looked at him, moving the ball cap. "You're cute, kid. Don't hit on my daughters though, okay?"
"Never let it happen. You'd be a scary in-law to have, Hill,"
Clint quipped, getting an evil smirk and paperwork. "Gee,
thanks." Fury came to his door. Clint waved the
paperwork. Fury looked at the kid. "He's sleeping."
"He's a cute kid. Cuter than Jonathan was."
Maria nodded. "He is."
Clint grinned. "It's spending time on Asgard." He left with
his paperwork before more people could coo over the kid. On the
way out he got another few cards and a few more coos. He and
Philip went to the pharmacy to get some more advil, got some vegetables
from the corner store, and even got a bottle of wine because he wanted
to cook something tonight. Then they went home. Dawn was
still asleep with Natasha watching over her. Clint and Natasha
shared a smile. Dawn was slowly getting back into perky assistant
Dawn showed up for her first day of work wearing Philip. The
guards glared. She glared back until they backed down. "Yes,
he does come with me. That way he gets used to scientists and
some day he can take over my job," she quipped. She signed in and
went upstairs. Tony was waiting. "They're seriously creepy
"They are," he agreed. "He can go up to Beya."
"He won't let anyone put him down."
"Ah, that problem," he said with a grin. "I remember it fondly
sometimes." He patted the baby on the back. "It'll end
"I hope so. It's a lot easier to snuggle when the baby's not on
your chest." She sat down at her desk, smiling at the two fruit
baskets, the few vases of flowers, and the cards. "Awww."
Natasha came up to gather them and take them home. Dawn made
a list of names so she could thank them. She got into her
voicemail, erasing the ones from reporters asking her to post pictures
of the baby. Tony was snickering. "Sorry but no." She
finished up and checked her inbox. It was pretty empty. So
it might be an easy day with lab rounds. Tony let her handle it
and by the time she got to lab rounds, the baby was starving so she
paused to feed him in the bathroom. Then he got changed and they
went on lab rounds. Everyone looked at him and cooed.
Andrew picked up Roomba 1 to let it scan the baby. "That's
Philip. You watch him like you do Liz, Chris, and Caroline."
Roomba beeped so he put him down and did it with 2 and 3. Dawn
was grinning at him. He grinned back. "Just in case."
"Thank you, Andrew." She kissed him on the cheek. "We should let the babies coo at each other sometime."
"Callia usually arranges playdates between her siblings and all the other babies in the building," he quipped.
"I'll make sure she'll include him." She looked down. "Did
you have to crap, son? Really?" Andrew laughed. "Let
me go change him."
"We have a changing table," Jonathan said with a point at the
corner. "Because Caroline's already learning lasers and geek
weapons." Dawn smiled and changed him there. Jonathan
blinked, looking at Andrew.
"Christopher's not built like that," he said. "He's going to be beating girls off him for *years*."
Dawn nodded. "We think so too. Especially since he's so
cute." They grinned. She tossed out the diaper and headed
back to her lab rounds.
Andrew looked at Jonathan. "Some day I'll have to talk to my
daughter about bad boys of science. That way she doesn't hit on
him or Chris."
Jonathan nodded. "If mine's a daughter we will too."
"You can find out."
Patty doesn't want to know." He shrugged.
"Sure." They shared a grin and got back to work. Roombas
were updating their programming to include another kid. Andrew was
still working on the diaper changing program. He had one that
would dissolve a diaper by laser blast but it might hurt the baby and he
wouldn't like that.
Andrew stared at his daughter, who was thankfully napping.
"Remember, Caroline, you don't want to become a Wells-Stark or a
Wells-Summers," he said quietly. "It'll drive you nuts. Even
if they're pretty, go for a fandom geek like I am and your mom is, not a
super geek like Stark or Rodney is." MB laughed from the
doorway. "She might."
"She might but I doubt Chris or Philip will be that bad of bad boys,
'Drew." She kissed him with a smile. "She'll find some nice
geek at college."
He looked at her. "Do you want me to go to college?"
"No. You're just fine the way you are and you're learning on and
off. It's not like you'll need the PhD or anything, Drew."
She cuddled him. Caroline yawned and woke up, fussing a bit.
MB smiled at her. "Let me cuddle Daddy then I'll cuddle you,
Caro." Caroline yawned again and fell back asleep. They
smiled at each other and went to cuddle in bed. Jonathan and Patty
were cuddling on the couch in a way that was naked and making them
sweat. They didn't need to see Jonathan practicing for a second
Dawn smiled at the new interns. "Hi, people. Stark's running
a bit late due to a meeting with the local school board over Callia's
recent test results." She looked around. "Let's get
started. I'm Dawn, Stark and Pepper's personal assistant."
She pointed at the folders each one of them had gotten. "In here
are all the forms that you've went over so far and the building rules
that were updated last week. Familiarize yourself with them for a
few minutes." They got into them. She looked down at Philip,
who was awake but content to cuddle for now. She smiled at the
group again. "Any questions?"
"Buddy system?" one of the male geeks said.
"New York is a fairly dangerous city if you wander into the wrong
areas," she reminded them. "I put a list of good restaurants in
various categories in the back as well as a list of where all the
museums are and other attractions that the other interns have liked to
visit. But there's still places you don't want to wander and most
of you aren't really Bruce Lee to defend yourselves. You don't
have to pick one for all time. Just pop up a note on the bulletin
board that we have here in the building to see if anyone wants to go
with you. We do suggest it for the first month or so until you get
used to New York's sprawl."
"A few of us are nearly local," one guy said with a grin. "I finished up my last two years at NYU."
Dawn smiled. "Then expect to get some questions." He nodded
that was fine. "If you need to note anything about an area, a
club, a restaurant not to go to, go ahead and do that on the bulletin
board as well. There's one for interns and one for the whole
building's announcements. Each department has one for department
meetings and the like." They all nodded. "Your new Starkpads
are all set up to go there automatically whenever you log in. You
can change that later."
A few smiled at that. "Also, we do have a cafeteria, a gym, and an
infirmary if you need anything. You guys are allowed to use all
three and the caf is free for you guys. The rest of us get a
stipend and if we spend more it's on us. You guys it's on
us." They all nodded. She smiled. "There's a few odd
notes that aren't in any packets. If you see a cat, call
security. They're Callia's pets."
"The same Callia Stark?" one female asked.
Dawn smiled and nodded. "They're all very smart cats and sometimes
they escape the penthouse. Call security and they'll come get
them and toss them back up there. Especially if you see the black
one? He's named after Tony for a reason and he gets into
*everything*. Last night we found him trying to figure out diaper
cream as he was kneading the tube to get more for samples. It was
already all over his fur. Before we could catch him, he ran off to
go play in the flour bag by tipping it over and rolling around in it,
then he ran and hid behind all the legos again to avoid the robot giving
him a bath."
A few of the new interns laughed. "So if you see them, call.
If you see the kids out and about alone, let us know. Sometimes
Callia takes them to introduce them to new geeks and there's one that's
barely walking and one that's about to crawl. So fair
warning." She smiled. "Second odd note. The Avengers
usually hang out in the other tower in their special hero-only
section. Except for Dr. Banner, who does have a lab on this side,
and Stark, who is pretty well everywhere at once."
That got a few laughs. "Just stare in awe, don't grab them.
Especially not Romanoff. She's a bit touchy about being grabbed
and tends to react by knocking you down in a way that makes you
beg. So stare in awe, say hi, treat them like normal people, which
they would love. Just don't grab them." That got a few
other nods. "Third odd note. There is a building-wide
AI. His name is JARVIS." A few moaned. She
smiled. "JARVIS is great and he's everywhere but he will not pay
attention to some things and if you ask him not to, he won't. He
doesn't ever pay any attention to the bathrooms or changing areas unless
someone's making pained noises or is bleeding. Generally if you
talk to him he'll answer. This has freaked out a few of the
interns in the past so we'll warn you he's like a really friendly uncle
"I do enjoy being your uncle, Miss Dawn," JARVIS said, making Dawn grin. "The baby could use changed."
"I noticed. I'll do it in a second, JARVIS."
"Beya could. She's been pouting that you don't trust her."
Dawn shrugged. "He refuses to be put down. She's got her hands full with Chris."
"I doubt she'd see it that way, Dawn. She's on her way down."
"Fine. Thanks." She smiled at them. "That was JARVIS."
"Why is he British?" one geek asked.
"Tony said all good butlers are British," JARVIS said dryly.
"Oh, that's interesting." They smiled at each other. The
nanny walked in. They all stared at her. She was *huge* and
"He hates to be put down, Beya."
"I've heard. Chris isn't such a problem that I can't handle him
too, Dawn." She carefully took the baby, who blinked at her.
"Good morning, Philip. Let's go change you." She walked him
off talking to him. She spotted Natasha in the hallway and smiled
when she turned around to follow her. "I'm taking him to change
so Dawn can give the building tour to the new interns."
"I've changed a few of his diapers. He does tend to pee on you."
"There's a secret to that," Beya said happily. She got them
upstairs and changed him, showing Natasha how to avoid being peed
on. Philip looked so confused but he liked her and she was cuddly
too. So it was good for him. Especially when Chris grunted
at him from next to him. It gave Philip someone new to stare
at. Natasha let her handle it and went back to whatever she had
been doing. Beya smiled at the boys. "Sometimes, first time
parents worry about silly things." The boys both grunted at
her. That was fine and she knew how to handle things like them
Dawn smiled from behind her desk. One of the new interns was coming off the elevator. "Problems?"
"The 'we can do this for you' sheet. It included prenups done by Legal?"
"A few of our interns and regular scientists have gotten married out of
the blue. Legal can and will gladly prepare a prenup so you don't
have to worry about it. It's a very sensible precaution when you
have things like patents to protect."
"Huh. So it's not like you're going to be fixing us up, right?"
Dawn chuckled. "No. We don't care as long as it's not
illegal, a kid, a pet, something like that. We might complain at
vampires, but otherwise we don't care who you sleep with as long as it's
healthy for you." The intern smiled back at her. "Also note
that the infirmary can do birth control exams if you need them.
They do a lot of ours. Though, Dr. Pigalli doesn't like to deliver
"That's good to know. We've had a lot of use for them?"
"I went there for years," Dawn said. "It helped a lot having the
infirmary on site doing most of my medical care. That way when
something happened, I was with people who knew my records by heart."
"Huh. So if we date...."
"You have a private bedroom," Dawn reminded her. "Make sure your
roommate won't freak out if there's suddenly an extra person there for
breakfast. If you guys go out clubbing and bring someone back,
remember to sign them in with security so we know in case something like
a fire happens." That got a nod. "Take reasonable, sensible
precautions because we hate to lose people to things like bringing home
someone that'll stab you. Consider us like dorm monitors in that
sense. We don't care who it is as long as you're not harmed."
"Thanks, Miss Summers."
"I'm Dawn. Just plain old Dawn." The intern nodded and went
to tell the others. Dawn put up a reminder that work started in
the morning on the interns bulletin board and a reminder to eat
something. Then she got back to work. She saw the alert
flashing on her monitor and sighed, calling in. "What happened?"
she asked. She got up and grabbed a few things. "I'm heading
there." She hung up and jogged off. She wasn't really back
in full shape yet but something had set Bruce off horribly. She
found him where they had trapped him and keyed in her emergency release
code for the building. The shields let her inside then went back
up. "Hey, Stepdad?" He turned to glare at her. She
stared back. "Hi. What's wrong?"
"Hulk pulverize!" he shouted.
"Okay. Why?" He growled. She stared at him. He
yelled. She kept staring at him. "I'm not going to be scared
off. So why doesn't the Hulk tell Dawn what's wrong."
"Not Dawn," he growled.
She moved closer. "I am so Dawn."
"Gee thanks," she said, smacking him on the head. "I'm still
pretty even if I do need to lose ten pounds of baby weight." He
flinched. "I'm still Dawn so Hulk tell Dawn what's wrong.
Now!" she ordered.
She stared at him. She took off her jacket and tossed it over the
shield then took off her guns and knives. Hulk was staring.
"Not Dawn. Dawn pretty."
She glared and kicked him on the leg. "It's baby weight,
Stepdad. I don't need this shit. So either talk to me or be a
little Hulk hedgehog until I'm not cranky." Hulk took a swing at
her and she ducked it but froze him.
Hulk blinked. "Are Dawn."
"Duh!" she said dryly. "What the fuck is your problem?" He
flinched back. "Now! Hulk tell Dawn. Now!"
He blinked at her. "Dawn mad."
"Yeah, ya think?" She stared at him, one foot tapping. "Why is Hulk mad?"
"Hulk sorry?" he offered.
She sighed and looked up, unfreezing him. He rushed at her.
Dawn moved herself, letting him slam into a shield. He roared and
came at her again. She moved herself and summoned a dart to hit
him with. He went down and she stared at him. "Fine, we'll
do it the hard way since that's what you wanted." She waited until
he slowly shrank back.
"It'll probably be an hour," Tony said, getting into the shield to come over. "What was his issue?"
"I don't know. He said I'm not me."
"You look like you." He looked at her. "You've only got five pounds, Dawn."
"Apparently not." She looked at him as he blinked and started to
wake up. "Want me to kick your ass now or later, Stepdad?"
"What?" he asked, looking confused. "Why am I out here and sedated?"
"Because you went all Grr Guy," Dawn said dryly. "Then kept insisting that I'm not me."
He blinked at her. "I have no idea about any of that, Dawn."
She huffed. "Whatever. You two talk. Clearly there's a
mental blockage somewhere that I'll never understand because I'm female
and not a scientist." She gathered her things and went to visit
the baby. Beya had him sleeping on a swing. "How?" she
asked, looking awed. Beya smiled and showed her that it had a
heating pad in it to mimic body heat. They could try that in his
basinet later. It might mean that he'd sleep in his own bed.
Tony helped Bruce up, handing him his shirt. "You really did say she wasn't Dawn, that Dawn was pretty."
"She should've kicked my butt," Bruce said. He put on his shirt
with a wince. "Am I becoming immune to this sedative?"
"No. You're still partially sedated," Tony said. "What sent you over?"
"I... I don't remember." He frowned.
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"I was in the lab? There was an intern building tour. Then I think lunch? JARVIS?"
Film popped up and they saw him trying to get away from a very insistent
intern. Who screamed and fled when he changed to scare her off
because she had kept touching him and pissed him off. "Okay, so
it's a trifling ho," Tony decided, walking Bruce off. He called
Joyce to let her know he was coming over. She told him where they
were and he got Bruce into a cab for her. Then he went to deal
with an intern ho. He found her. "Miss Stowers?" he
asked. "May I see you for a moment please?" She walked over,
smiling at him. He walked her into the hallway. "You just
pissed off Dr. Banner in a way that made him turn into the Hulk by
disrespecting his marriage. Did you think this was appropriate for
your first day at Stark International?"
"She's not one of us. He deserves one of us as his."
Tony snorted. "Little girl, Joyce is worth ten of you even without
a PhD. If only because she can calm him down. You are
on notice that it will not be tolerated. We do have a strongly
enforced sexual harassment policy. This is your only warning about
violating it." He walked off. "Go back to whatever you were
doing." She huffed off. He rolled his eyes and told
Pepper. The incident went on file for later needs when they
probably would have to fire her.
Dawn got the sealed letter from HR, frowning at it. She opened it,
staring at it. "What?" she demanded. She walked it in to
Pepper, who read it and grimaced. "Am I being too flirty?"
"No. Actually you're pretty demure," she said, looking over Dawn's
outfit. "Yesterday's too." She called the head of HR
up. She came in with the complaint, letting Pepper see it.
"Hmm. Done by the one that harassed Banner enough that we had to
sedate him to get him out of Hulk form," Pepper said. "Dawn's not
out of dress code. She's not too flirty."
"The young woman claimed that Dawn was making her feel uncomfortable by possibly flirting with her."
"I have greatness. I'd never touch a slut like that," Dawn said
bluntly. "For that matter we have a non-discrimination policy
about the gay and bisexual members of the staff."
"We do. She thinks you were paying undo attention to her and your
outfit yesterday was a bit risque, Dawn," the head of HR said.
Dawn pulled up pictures from security. "Banner said I didn't look
like myself because I wasn't pretty," she said dryly. "For that
matter, I don't even remember looking toward her during the orientation
"No that was almost old maidish compared to some things," the head of HR
said. She wrote out the results of her investigation. "From
now on, don't go near her?" she suggested.
"I go collect lab reports." She and Pepper shared a look. "I
guess I can ask the head of the lab to email them directly to me."
The head of HR smiled. "She's in Chemistry."
"Hell no. There's too many up there that forget to eat and drink," Dawn said. "Lab 8, 10, or 33?"
"33," Pepper said after looking it up.
"She's going to run over Pertry." She called him from the desk
phone. "Pertry, it's Summers. We need to see you in the
office for a minute please. No, nothing huge. Paperwork
issue." She hung up. He came off the elevator a minute
later. Dawn looked at him then handed over the form.
He read it, grimacing. "You looked like a slob yesterday,
Dawn. Nothing was tight, your hair was pulled back too hard it was
easing the non-sleep wrinkles, and you looked like you were wearing
padding underneath it." He handed it back.
"We think it's in retaliation for having to pull her off Dr. Banner,"
Pepper said. "So for right now, we'd suggest that Dawn not
interact with her."
"I have three that she's going to end up nagging to eat and drink," the
head of the lab said. He shrugged. "I'd rather lose the
intern than the other three scientists because they might have
ideas. I have no idea who hired her or why."
Pepper looked her up in the system. "It appears she was hired to
be one of the outer level assistants." She and the head of HR
shared a look. "For right now, can you keep notes on what happens
whenever Dawn is in your lab?"
"Of course. I'd expect JARVIS to tape it anyway."
"I do," JARVIS said with a sigh on the end. "She's presently hitting on Andrew."
"Tell MB," Dawn said.
"I have. I'm watching the most entertaining catfight ever.
Apparently Andrew has taught his wife how to hiss and scratch an
Dawn huffed, looking at them. "Go break it up," Pepper said. "Pertry, help her?"
"I can do that. Thank you for letting me know I had a snake in the
grass." He walked her down there. "Excuse me," he said
Andrew pointed at her. "She was flirting! I did not want her
to flirt with me! I'll be damned! I have a great woman, I
don't need a bimbo. MB made sure I knew the difference."
Dawn smiled. "She did. I'm very happy that you two are so
good together, 'Drew." She hauled MB off her. "You
good? Need medical?"
"No," she said, pushing back her hair. "I'm filing a complaint. She tried to touch my husband."
"Call Stark down. He's probably got one ready. She tried it
on Banner." She walked her over to Andrew, making sure she didn't
look at the other one. "JARVIS, make sure you've saved all this
down for later viewing at the employment hearing, please," she said.
"I have," the AI said happily. "MB, you should probably get that wrist looked at. It looks swollen."
She looked and nodded. "I will be, JARVIS. Thank you."
She hugged Andrew. Who squeezed her back. "C'mon, we can
fill it out down there." She walked him off with Dawn following.
Pertry stared at his former lab helper. "I don't need this
stress. Andrew and his partner Jonathan have more patents than
anyone in this building but Stark. Dawn is everywhere in this
building because she handles things for us. We don't need more
people who want to get an MRS degree here. I'm sorry but whatever
job you were hired for is no more." He walked off to talk to Stark
himself. He ran into him at the elevator. "I fired her,
"Saves me the trouble." He smiled and clapped him on the arm. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. Is Dawn all right? She seems out of sorts and like she's padding an injury."
"I think that's the post-baby weight she's still losing." That got
a nod. "I'll talk with her later." He walked over to where
that young woman was crying. "You were warned. Pity."
He hauled her off and to the office since Pepper had said the head of HR
was there waiting on her.
"She was actually hired to be Dawn's assistant," Pepper said with a smile.
"Great!" Tony said with a grin of his own. "She's clearly not
qualified for that either." He put the young woman into a chair
and walked off. "I'll let you ladies talk, that way she can't say
something against me either."
Pepper smiled coldly at the young woman. "Apparently your mission
has failed. Let's talk about that." The head of HR shut the
door so they could have some privacy.
Dawn looked over her choices for her clothes the next day, then at her
son, who was laughing at Mommy. She rolled her eyes, picking him
up. "We need to pick something that no one will complain about,
son. What do you think? The classic secretary look, which
makes me look leggy, or the red dress that makes Mommy look like a
goddess?" She looked at him. "No, you're right, that's too
much." She pointed. "Blue, gray, or green tomorrow?"
The baby gurgled. Dawn wiped off the drool. "I know, but I
have to be able to wear something tomorrow."
Artemis leaned in and stole the baby with a grin. "Wanted cuddle time." She ran off.
"Okay," Dawn decided, pulling out a skirt to see if she could fit into
it again. Nope. Not yet. She huffed and put it
back. She moved to her bigger clothes section. She wasn't
happy with her body at the moment.
Clint walked in and picked Dawn up, carrying her to the table. "Pick out something tomorrow, Dawn."
"Then I'll be late. Nothing fits yet."
He stared at her. "Yes it does. I'll prove it later."
He handed her a plate. She stared at it then at him. He
grinned. "You're not losing weight by cutting that many calories
and I felt like cooking so eat." She kissed him and went to eat on
the couch with the girls and Philip. He was gumming on a piece of
noodle. Clint looked at Natasha, who smiled at him. They
got their own dinners and went to eat with the girls. Sean
appeared and sat down, taking the baby to hold and cuddle. Philip
made frantic baby noises at him so Sean patted him. "Problems?"
"New science wench," he said in Norse.
Dawn looked at him. "Do I need to find the sword again?"
"Please?" he asked with a grin. "Ronon nearly ripped her head off
earlier. She got *grabby*, Auntie Dawn. It's not nice!"
"I know it's not." She kissed him on the head. Philip
cooed. She smiled and patted down his hair. "You let Sean
calm down, son. Sean, I'm not sure if there's food or not."
"I just had lunch." He settled in to cuddle the baby, which he
adored. He, Chris, and Philip had bonded as the only boys in the
family. They needed protection from their many sisters/cousins.
Dawn finished up and put the dishes in the dishwasher, turning it on
before kissing Natasha for getting it for them. Clint tipped his
head back and got his own. Dawn took the baby to feed. Sean
could pout but the baby was hungry. Which made Sean blush and turn
to look at the windows. The girls giggled and hauled him upstairs
to play a game with them. She looked at her son. "It's good
that you have an older cousin who can give you advice." He patted
her breast, staring at her while he sucked. "Yeah, it's a great
thing, Philip." He pulled off to pant then went back to
drinking. "Sure, you eat. You need to eat or you'll be short
next to Sean like I am."
"He'll have some of my height," Clint teased.
Dawn smiled. "He'd better. He'll be the shortest kid in the
family if not." Natasha snickered, nodding a bit. She pulled
him off to burp him and change sides, doing up the first while he
chowed down on the second breast. He slowly fell asleep.
"That's a good boy, Philip. You have happy, nummy dreams.
Next week we have to go to Malibu for meetings. Are you going to
Natasha and Clint shared a look then at her. "No introducing him to Spike," Natasha ordered.
Dawn smiled. "How else is he going to know who to protect?"
Natasha slumped, shaking her head. "Must you?"
"Yes. All the kids are going." She smiled. "They're
going to meet Faith, Gunn, and Connor too." She patted the baby on
the back, which woke him slightly. He finally quit sucking and
was fully asleep. She put him into his cradle, turning on the
heating blanket. "I'm so glad Beya figured that out," she said
quietly. She cleaned herself up and did back up her nursing
bra. Then she sighed. "I have to find something that fits
for tomorrow." She got up, taking the cradle into the bedroom.
Clint grinned at Natasha, who made shooing motions. He went in
after her, closing the door. He pulled Dawn onto the bed, helping
her out of the panties she had stripped down to so she could try on
tomorrow's clothes. He stripped himself while they kissed and slid
into her body. "See, something still fits." She groaned but
wrapped herself around him. "I still fit and there's clothes in
there that will make you look hot."
"I can't be too hot. It might worry the other interns."
"They'll live and learn." He slowly thrust into her, making her
shiver. He kissed her, making sure she got very happy with
him. By the time she was getting loud, Philip was awake and
fussing a bit. He looked over. "Give me a few, Phil.
I'll change you then. Let me make Mommy happy." He kissed
Dawn and got back to his favorite workout. She squealed nicely for
him and it was good.
When she finally came and fell asleep, he got up and changed his son
then put him back down. He looked in the closet, pulling out
something he wanted to see her in. Then a second choice in case it
was too tight. He closed the closet doors, sliding back into bed
with Dawn. She still had a slight bump to her stomach. Her
breasts were bigger and fuller. Her chin had to lose a few pounds.
It'd all go in the next few weeks.
Well, maybe not the breasts. He could stand that.
Dawn walked in the next morning looking good, feeling okay. A bit
heavy still but her son was enjoying it by kicking it this
morning. She looked down at him in the elevator. "Didn't you
kick there often enough before you were born, son?" The secretary
from accounting in there with her laughed. She smiled at
her. "He did a lot of kicking." They dropped her off
and she dropped the baby with Beya, who cooed at him. Dawn paused
to kiss Christopher on the head since he was fussy. He smiled at
her for it. She grinned back. "Be a good boy with Phil
today, Chris." She went down to her desk.
Pepper looked her over. "Congratulations on getting back into that
skirt. It took me six weeks to lose the baby weight after Liz and
ten after Chris."
"It's not the original one. I got it in a bigger size."
"Still, not maternity gear," she said happily.
"True, not a single stretchy stomach panel." Dawn grinned.
She got down to work. She'd have sparring later with the guys but
that was about usual. Though she might wear something like a
flimsy skirt over her unitard to cover her stomach. For her break,
Dawn went to the other building. She'd be sparring directly after
it so she'd get a snack now for energy.
"Dawn," one person said, smiling at her. "You look nice today. Still in the maternity clothes?"
Dawn gave her a pointed look. "I have five whole pounds left to
lose. No, I'm not in maternity wear anymore, thank you." The
woman flinched back. "Anything else?" she asked with a
grin. "Because I have to pump for Philip before sparring
"No gym time?"
"I go to the gym every single Sunday," Dawn said dryly. "I always
have." The woman pouted. "It's why I can kick ass so very
well, dear." She walked around her, mentally fuming. Maybe
she needed a stricter diet. So she'd forgo the milk in her low
acid coffee maybe. Clint was in there and got hers for her,
handing it over. She looked then at him.
"You've lost twenty pounds, Dawn. Quit stressing over the last
five that're showing in your cheeks." He walked her off, glaring
at the bitch that had asked her such nosy questions. The reporter
shrank back away from them. "C'mon, Stark wanted to see if you
learned anything new from the gymnastics coach at your gym."
"Not really." She sipped her coffee and moaned. "Thank you for the shot of irish cream."
"You needed it," he said with a smile. He grabbed her chin and
kissed her hard and fast. "C'mon. We'll baby you today in
She snorted. "Since when?" They got onto the elevator and
went up. She walked off and handed Tony her pass. He scowled
and ran it in the sensor over there. "When did that happen?" she
"I have no idea, Dawn." He got it unscrewed through Pepper and
JARVIS. Dawn changed and came out sipping some water.
"You're not fat," Tony said patiently.
"Bullshit. People are asking me about it."
"It's five whole pounds," Natasha said. "But women are evil
bitches sometimes." Dawn smiled at her for understanding.
"We'll work some of that off you today." Dawn nodded, hopping onto
the matts to stretch and get to work against her.
Dawn got summoned for a problem, finding someone taunting some
kids. She was still in sparring gear but oh well. She walked
behind the man, grabbing him by his collar. "Stark Security,
sir. You're upsetting our field trip kids. Thank you for
coming today and have a nice day." She shoved him out the door and
walked off again, smiling at the kids. They were staring in awe
at Steve when he came down to back her up. "It was one flashing
pervert," she said.
He shrugged and grinned. "You know I'm old fashioned and no woman should have to break a manicured nail on a pervert."
She rolled her eyes and punched him on the arm, making him wince and hold it. "Thanks, Cap."
"Welcome." He walked off wincing and rubbing it behind her
back. "Baby not sleeping again?" he asked casually, letting the
wince go for a few minutes since she was getting them both some water.
"No, he slept just fine last night. Why?" She smiled at
him. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, Steve." She looked at
his arm. "I'll get you an ice pack." She walked him off,
fussing over him for a bit.
The fashion reporter lying in lurk had gotten a picture of her from the
side view. They could compare it to some of her past bikini photos
for a really good photo story about her weight. She hurried back
to the office to photoshop the comparison. Which didn't make her
happy. She was the same proportion, just a bigger chest and puffy
cheeks. She huffed and let her editor tell her how to adjust
things for the best spread. Her editor knew that Stark would sue
them if they 'adjusted' the images so she helped her write a few nicer
things. Including that it was clear Dawn was a nursing mother.
Pepper had seen the article and printed it, handing it to Dawn the next morning.
Dawn read it and slumped, shaking her head. "Fuck them all. I'm hiding."
"Sure, you do that," she promised with a smile. "Thor's going to show up today."
"Great, another critical guy who'll think I'm not my right weight," she complained, walking off.
Pepper smiled. "I had the same thing, Dawn."
"You lost it all."
Pepper sent that article to Natasha so she could calm Dawn down. She understood how women looked at their weight.
Natasha looked at her phone, shaking her head. She sent it to
Clint. She agreed, Dawn could lose those last few pounds in her
Clint read the article and huffed. That was going to be
ended. He touched minds with Dawn, who was fuming. He
pointed out that most of her body was in the same shape. It was
just her cheeks and she was well on her way to losing it. Philip
was only four and a half weeks old. No one except moron cootie
carrying mother fuckers expected her to have fully lost all the baby
weight by now. Not like she was a model or a starlette. To
calm down because he enjoyed it. Plus, even with the puffy cheeks,
guys were still hitting on her hard. She blushed but
complained. He smirked slightly and sent over a dirty thought
about getting some 'exercise' later. She blushed harder and he
enjoyed doing it to her for a change. He cut off the link when the
trainers meeting started again. They had paused because someone
had run to get sick.
Dawn considered things. She could just use a huge spell, that
would burn that extra energy and bounciness she was feeling off plus
take care of that last five pounds of baby weight. Or she could
work out during her lunch time. Though skipping lunch would get
her nagged by Pepper and Clint. She sighed but there was nothing
that needed a huge spell. Where were the huge villains doing
something when you wanted one? Well, maybe one would pop up this
week. She could only hope.
That reminded her. She had to finish dealing with that
incident. Which would probably take a whole lot of magic.
She pulled up her research to see where she had stopped.
Dawn was at lunch in the second tower when someone sat across from
her. He had brown hair, brown eyes that gazed at her longingly,
and a grin that made her smile back. "Lunch is on me if you want."
"I like lunch. It's one of my favorite meals." He went to
get it and came back. A few people were staring at him oddly but
he didn't care. They could ignore his scars. He sat down
with his tray and looked at her. "So, beautiful mean one, did you
finally figure it out?"
"I have the answer, it'll be a month of power raising, and a lot of
fasting for me for that last week." He grinned and dug in.
"But...." He paused in taking a bite. "If you don't go now,
you can't go back later unless someone else super charges me.
Right now I've got a lot of magic stored since I couldn't use very much
during the pregnancy."
"I can tell the others." He ate another bite and chewed.
"Any other good news?" She pointed at the kid staring at
him. He stared back. "You're too pretty to be a boy.
You really are." The baby waved a hand in the air. "It's
hard to believe I was something that innocent once."
"Me too," Dawn said. He smirked at her. "Do you know where the other ones are?"
"More or less. I found people who can find them." He dug in
again. The baby fussed until they both stared at him again then
the baby grinned at him. "He likes me?"
"I think he does. He used to kick whenever you stalked me before, Wade."
"Huh." He finished his burger and pulled out a pocket knife,
holding it up. "This is a knife. They're important in your
future career. They help you get out of ropes and they can help in
other things. Including taking apart bombs and guns that're
stuck." Dawn was eating and smiling at him. "You're too damn
adorable, kid. We have to make you a brat so you don't get called
an angel. Then again, my very own dark angel had you so that's
not hard to go there."
Clint sat down, staring at the guy then at Dawn. "I remember
reading about him in a comic when I was a kid," he told Dawn.
Maybe he'd been on assignment too often when Dawn was pregnant.
She smiled and swallowed the fry she was presently eating. "No one
told you about the idiot who fired into the portal way too many times?"
"No, no one did," Clint said, looking at the other guy.
"I'll fight you for her," Wade offered with a manic grin.
"If you tried, I'd have to break you into itty bitty pieces," Dawn
reminded him. Wade moaned and stared at her. "Really,
Wade." She patted him on the hand. "Tease the baby. He
needs to be teased. He hasn't been frustrated in days and
frustration leads to bigger brains."
He shrugged and teased the baby with his pocket knife.
"Sure. If I had gotten here a few years earlier you could've been
my kid. You'd already have weapons by now and all sorts of neat
toys. You'd already have a baby costume too."
"We've already got him a weapons closet started," Clint promised, looking at his wife. "So, someone fired into a portal?"
"Six or seven times trying to rip it down. Stupid idiot, even when
we yelled at him, kept doing it. I was yelling at him to stop
it. Stark was yelling at him to stop it. He finally got the
point when I blipped down in front of him and punched him. By
then, a portal was already opening and sucking people over. We got
three visitors and then I found out later on that he came too but we
hadn't seen him during the firefight that started right afterwards with
his minions." Clint slumped, staring at her. "No one told
you any of this?" she asked with a smile. "It was like week two of
you being on that secodn assignment."
"No, no one said a word about it. I'm going to have to see
why." She kissed him and he relaxed. He looked at the guy
that was a comic he used to really like, getting smirked back at.
"Deadpool, I'd kill you over Dawn. Not like I'd ever find anyone
else who could have telepathic sex with me."
Wade looked at her, whimpering some. "Damn you, woman." She
laughed and grinned at him, finishing the bite of burger in her mouth
before taking a drink of diet soda. He slumped. "If only
your voice was a bit deeper like Bea Arthur's." He pouted at
her. "You'd sound sexy that way."
"Nah, her voice being smokey from the moaning we make her do isn't that deep," Clint said.
"Dick tease," he complained.
"No, that's her job. She's really a dick teasing sith," Clint said.
"You've figured out how to operate the Force?" he asked her.
"Magic but not fully within creation." She smirked slightly. "I'm amazing after all."
"You are. You really are." He blinked at her then at the
overprotective husband sort. "Are you sure we can't fight to see
who wins her?"
"Even if you won, you'd have to fight Widow, Deadpool."
"Widow?" He pointed behind them and Natasha sat down to join
them. "Black Widow. I saw your comic a few times," he said
with a grin.
She arched an eyebrow up at him. "I can say the same but you cannot have our wife. We are....possessive."
"We'd hate to kill you and spank her if you tried," Clint said.
Dawn looked at him. "Haven't we had a talk about you not having
working hands if you try that?" She looked at Wade. "You're
damn lucky I didn't pull you in when I was in labor. If I thought
you had any idea of how to find these two I would've."
"I killed a lot of the ones coming for you," he offered with a
grin. Because that was a horrifying thought but Dawn was so hot
when she was mean and evil.
She beamed. "Thank you. Did you get any of the ones I turned into frogs?"
"Later on. SHIELD's security system isn't really that good."
Both agents grimaced at that mention. "Sorry but truth." He
looked at the baby again. "I'd offer to take you with me but I
don't think the little talking boxes would like that. I know
they're not here but at home they're pretty rampant and they might not
like you since you don't talk yet, kid."
"Maybe before you were talking to the ones here and now you don't need to since you're on our reality," Dawn said with a grin.
"Maybe," Wade said. "I didn't think about that, even though it's
making my brain hurt. Can we go back to you evilly teasing me
"Sure." She smiled and patted him on the hand. "We'll have
to do the rite near where the portal was since the building it was on
got destroyed by it closing. We'll have to clear off the area
because I'll have to do half of it skyclad and the other half in armor
in case it opens to another realm. Or we'll have to include
warriors to beat off anything that comes through and I'll have to do it
all skyclad." Clint was moaning and shaking his head. "The
only other option is to do it on an active hellmouth and that would come
with a possible demon apocalypse."
"Not really the thing I want to think about on the way home. I
might hit the wrong realm," Wade said, considering it. "What's
"She'll be behind a few sheets because she'll be naked," Natasha
said. She nibbled on her chef's salad, looking at Dawn. "Why
did we not hear about this?"
She shrugged. "Ask Fury."
They both texted Phil. They got back the same answer: 'because he thought it would distract you'.
Dawn smiled at Wade then at her highly overprotective spouses.
"Stark got a huge migraine because of it. I talked with the other
three after the battle and explained why I couldn't do the magic to send
them back immediately. That sorcerer tried to butt in but when he
admitted he couldn't really help they sent him off sulking. I was
barely showing then and I spent a good portion throwing up afterward
anyway." Wade nodded. "Morning sickness sucks. You
should remember that in case it happens to you, Wade."
He nodded. "I should because it could. Remy's in New Orleans
seeing if people like his family are here. Logan's pouting in
Canada and the other one I'm not talking to is hiding somewhere here in
the city demanding his slum to get more high class."
Dawn nodded. Then shook her head. "We'll gather them.
Like I said, it'll take about a month for me to do it. I can't
start until six days after I have my next cycle by the spell. No
idea why they put that in there but that's what it says. Then I
need to do a lot of power raising and the like." He nodded
slowly. "So you have to get them here in just about thirty-two
days. That'll be the final day and they have to be around the
portal so it can tune itself to your realm. So they have to be
here on that day and be there all day, if not a bit longer." He
nodded. "If they're not there, they don't get to go home."
"I can tell them that." He grinned. "Can I take the mini me?"
"No, he's not allowed to travel without us," Dawn said.
"I can take you too. There's a whole world out there to explore and kill people in."
She smiled. "We did a good bit of that when the US lost its mind
and decided to try to conscript me and others with skills." She
smiled at Clint. "Remember that Dawn wanter in Brasilia?"
Clint grimaced but nodded. "Wade took out him and his whole
organization before they tried again. And two of the Russian Mob
groups that have written to me for years because I was mean and fought
Clint stared at her, sipping his soda. "Quit dick teasing the poor assassin, Dawn. It's mean."
"He told me about it afterward," she defended.
"I did, they were stalking her and only I'm allowed to do that," Wade
said with a smile. "She's kind of fun to watch run around and the
nieces were very safe whenever I was stalking her around. I took
out a few who tried them too."
Clint grinned. "Thanks, man. We worry about her and the kids." Wade smirked back.
Natasha shook her head quickly. "I fear I'm about to have a
headache. Excuse me for a few minutes." She got up and went
to the bathroom. Clint and Dawn could hear her swearing once she
had made sure she was alone in there. Then she came out looking
calm and collected again before sitting back down. "Sorry about
Wade grinned. "She's made me hide in the bathroom a few times too,
Black Widow. She's really good at it. She's like a dark
angel that's come to taunt me because she's not Bea Arthur-like but
she's just what a guy like me would like in a spouse." He looked
at the baby then back at her. "Think one of the twins would like
to travel and kill people?"
"No, they're both sweet, nice girls," Clint said. "One of which has a huge crush on Thor."
"Pity." Wade looked at Dawn, who smiled back. "Thirty-two
days?" She nodded. "I can do that. Maybe you can teach
the baby to squeal my name?"
"He won't talk for another eight months or so."
"We can wait and do it in eight months and thirty-two days," he quipped with a grin for her.
"If you can get them to agree," Dawn quipped back.
"It would be safer and better if we did not wait," Natasha said.
"Even if it would mean raising the power easier over the longer
time. The others might have people they miss at home."
"I'll have to see if my little teleporting buddy can help me come visit
him then. He needs more badass role models that wear
spandex." He grinned at Dawn. "See you in thirty
days." He left, going to pout all the way to New Orleans. He
could find a deep, gravely voiced hooker down there and have her
pretend to be Dawn for him.
Clint looked at Dawn. So did Natasha. "Why didn't you tell us?" he asked quietly.
"Because I wasn't allowed to contact either of you. Fury said he would." She sipped her soda.
Natasha looked at Clint. "Gutting?"
"Too easy. Dawn, do you have any poisons that can make him absolutely miserable enough to beg for death?"
"Of course I do, Clint. There's three of them locked in the
armory, another two in Phil's poison box, and one I've been fiddling
with that may be even worse." She smiled. "It's like crucio
in a bottle."
Clint kissed her. "I love your sith side but you're a gray angel,
not a dark one. You give out too much light and happiness to us to be
dark." She moaned and kissed him again. He smiled.
"Let me go talk to the director." He stood up and threw out his
Natasha kissed her as well. "No more sith side things today." She followed Clint.
Dawn looked at the baby. "Some day you'll grow up really neat
too." The baby cooed at her. She smiled and let him gum on a
fry. "You'll learn to like that taste. Your daddy likes
them baked." The baby spit around it and was happy with that.
A reporter pounced Tony when he came out that night. "Was Dawn
really dick teasing another assassin at lunch, Mr. Stark? Are they
He stared at her for a minute, then shook his head. "I have no
idea what you're talking about." The reporter showed him the
pictures she had taken. "That's one of the guys that got sucked
through the portal," he said, grimacing. He didn't like Wade
Wilson. He babbled like Dawn, killed like Natasha and Clint's kid,
and wanted to woo Dawn into a life of being a mercenary in a spandex
uniform. He really didn't like that guy. "I'm pretty sure
she wasn't teasing him on purpose and no, they'd never break up.
Even if they fight they'll never fully break up. Sorry," he said
at her pout. "But tough." He walked around her, going to get
dinner. He'd ask Dawn tomorrow. Or have Pepper ask her.
Nick Fury wasn't scared of many things but he had sense enough to hide
sometimes. Especially when two of his best agents were going to
kill him in some meaningful, nasty way that would make press people go
into fits of glee about the internal war within SHIELD. It was so
nice that he was the sort of director that could go join missions in the
field. Things would probably be deadly right about now if he was
the suit and tie sort of director. Especially if they asked
Coulson or their wife for something poisonous. Because that was
one deadly wife.
They might find him in Africa on the mission he was going to join but they'd be too busy getting shot at to try to kill him.
Maria and Joyce showed up at SHIELD the next morning at the same time so
they rode up together after logging in. They came off to find a
group of agents with folders staring at a closed office door.
Maria looked then opened it and went inside. On the desk was a
short note. //He ran for not telling us that he had let Other
Dimensional Superheros flirt with our wife,// was in one
handwriting. Below it was //He went to the mission in Central
Africa to deal with their upstart rebels because he is rightly afraid of
us retaliating for having our wife flirted with. We will get him
when he gets back.// Maria looked up. "Do I really have to
deal with this today?" she muttered.
Coulson appeared, nodding. "Clint and Natasha found out about Mr. Wilson yesterday when he showed up to talk to Dawn."
"Great!" she muttered. "I'm going to poison him since there's a budget hearing next week."
"I'll retrieve him for that." They walked out together. "The
director is off handling a mission that was looking like it might
change parameters. Agent Hill is still the
second-in-command." They handed over their files and went to
gossip. Phil took the files on that incident to City Hall.
They'd need to close off a section of a street for the spell work.
He nodded at the Mayor as he walked into his office after a short
wait. "I'm sure you were briefed when this happened."
"I was, Agent Coulson. Why is it important?"
"To send them back home will require a spell. Which would require
restarting that portal and about four days worth of spell work.
We'll need to drape the area and make sure nothing can interrupt it."
"Why do we need to drape it?" Phil handed over the copy of the
spell Dawn had found. He read it over. "Why does this
Phil pointed at a word. "That means doing the spell nude."
"Oh!" He handed it back. "Can't we keep them here?
It's been said your charges could use some help." Phil came
prepared for that question. He put down copies of their
comics. He read the top one, which was on Mr. Wilson and
winced. "I remember seeing that when I was in my comic book
years," he said, handing them back. "He's here?"
"Yes. He apparently came through during the battle. The other
three are presently in hiding. One here in the city, one in
Canada, and one in New Orleans I'm told."
"So we need to do some serious magic. Who do you have planned on watching over that area?"
"SHIELD's agents. I'd never expect the NYPD to have that sort of
patience or to be able to handle it if someone tried to stop them from
being sent back in an erroneous dislike of magic."
"I can see both of those happening." He grimaced. "Just that one single building?"
"The surrounding area. Where Dawn said the portal reached to was
just before the center line of the street. We'd ask to block off
most of it but leave the other side open for parking as I know it's a
problem in that area. It's already been roped off due to the
construction work to tear it down."
"Is that going to bother it?"
"Dawn says no. Tara doesn't believe it should. The portal
was more leaning against the building than attached to it by what they
found when they looked that night."
"That's good to know." He considered it. "I need to ask my head of Police."
"That would be fine, sir. Dawn can't start the heavy magic for
twenty-six days. The end result of sending them back would be in
"Why so specific?"
"We're not sure why they built in to start the spell six days after her
last cycle but it is and she's not going to change that without knowing
"Sometimes magic takes that knowledge," he said blandly. "I didn't want it either, sir."
"Fine. Let me talk to him. How do I get in contact with you
or should I just call Stark?" Phil handed over his card.
"Are there any more fights that are looking to destroy part of this
"We usually don't know about them beforehand, sir. We just handle
them as they show up." That got a grimace but a shooing motion so
he left and went to talk to Stark. He showed up and found
chaos. Scientists were evacuating. People were staring at
the tower, which had smoke coming out of a mid-floor window. He
found MB and put a hand on her shoulder, making her flinch and grab for a
gun she wasn't wearing. "Since when do you carry a sidearm?"
"Since Andrew's been getting threats? Why are you here? Someone set PR on fire."
He took Caroline from her, which calmed her down. "I came to see
Stark and talk to my namesake actually. I just found this."
"Oh. Well...." She looked around.
"What threats and why haven't we heard about this yet?"
"Director Fury assigned it to some agent. Stark said he's been nagging."
"He has," Tony said as he walked over. "Hey, Caroline." He
took her from Coulson. "He assigned it to a new agent.
Apparently the threats from two overseas wannabe Stark's aren't that
important even though Andrew and Jonathan have created some stuff even
*I* think should be science fiction."
"I'll look into that. Do you have the report form or anything?"
"I have the full file," Tony said bluntly. "It's in my office
safe." Phil smiled slightly. "And if you're looking for your
namesake, he's at the pediatrician for the next hour. It's time
"Wonderful." He looked around. "Someone set PR on
fire?" Tony grimaced but nodded. Caroline was patting Tony's
beard looking very confused. "Why don't we move all the
scientists into the ballroom?" he suggested. "That gets them out
of the way."
Tony whistled. "People, Pepper's going to open the ballroom.
It's on the sixth floor of the new tower." They started to walk
that way talking about things. Caroline got taken back by MB, who
smiled at them. "Find your spouses so they can talk to Coulson."
"I only have one husband," she said dryly.
"Yeah but you guys might as well be a quad at times. Even if you
aren't enjoying the other half." She blushed and ducked her head
but grinned back at him. He looked around then at Pepper when she
came back. "Did you see Bruce?"
"I was thinking he might want to try to help Joyce mend some shit she started."
Phil winced. "I heard. I have no idea why she'd avoid Dawn
in labor. Though I remember she did the same thing to Buffy.
She was there when Sean was born but in the waiting room."
Tony shook his head. "I'd never do that to my kids. I
probably would've stayed with Dawn if she couldn't have found her
spouses. Though, I heard she told Wilson she nearly called him if
she couldn't find them. I think that might've been a bit
wrong." He walked off.
"Probably," Phil agreed, looking at Pepper. "Who set PR on fire?"
"The new secretary had a fit because her wife was sleeping with her new
boss. The lab is once again a soap opera." Phil smiled at
her. "I need a vacation."
"The kids might like Guatemala."
"No, I need a vacation without any Starks. Tony's been driving me
nuts. Callia's pouting about being grounded for so long because we
won't let her watch movies or do anything but homework. Liz is
cranky right now because she's cutting teeth and Chris is scowling at
everyone because he's having a bad incarnation apparently," she finished
bitterly. "My kids hate me. They like Beya more than me and
they hate Dawn just as much. The only thing that makes Chris
behave is Philip gumming on him and then he fusses at that treatment
because apparently he's feeling a bit inadequate next to him."
"I'll see what I can find from Chris, Pepper. Take a day at the spa?"
"I can't. The company will go through hell." Dawn got out of
a cab with Philip in his carseat. "The new secretary in PR found
her wife cheating."
"The background check found that. Who didn't read it?" she
asked. Pepper stared at her. Dawn got into the files from HR
to show her. "The background check had a 'please don't hire her
due to emotional disturbance' rating too."
Phil took the baby, letting him fuss at him. "I know, it's
interrupting your nap and eating schedule. You can eat in a few
minutes. All right?" He settled down. Dawn hugged
him. "Needing a nap?"
"He wouldn't sleep last night. Not even for Mommy Natasha.
Not even for food." She took her tablet back when Pepper started
to throw it. "Hey!"
"Sorry! Who is ignoring those things?"
"I'd hate to say it but some carrier of the moron cooties?" Dawn offered with a grin.
"Probably, yes. Maybe even Patient Zero of that epidemic."
"No, I think he's on FOX News," Dawn said with a point at the news
vans. "Probably on a talk show. Either that or he's on the
radio ranting at everyone who's not a fat, drug addicted slob who can't
keep a wife because he's a jackass."
Pepper cracked and smiled. "You could be right."
"It could be multiple strains that have merged in a few people and mutated," Phil said dryly. They smiled at him.
"Is there an epidemic going on?" a reporter demanded, running over. "Was it a virology lab?"
Dawn pulled up the moron cooties talk Callia had with a reporter and showed her. "No, it's a different sort of infection."
The reporter laughed. "That's so cute! Rude but cute!"
"Tony said she doesn't have to be nice to reporters that ambush her," Pepper said.
"Awww. So you're talking about that infection?" Dawn nodded. "Oh, well. Where is the fire?"
"PR," Dawn said.
"Oh, never mind. We'll get statements from them sometime soon anyway." She went to tell the others.
"Isn't virology only in Malibu?" Phil asked Pepper, who nodded.
"Huh." He walked off. "Let me find Chris to check on him for
you, Pepper. Then I'll get the files on the threats to Andrew and
"Excuse me? They're *WHAT*?" Dawn demanded. Philip flinched
awake and squealed at Mommy. "They're threatening my geeks why?"
Phil looked back at her. "Please calm down, Dawn."
"Oh fucking hell no! If someone's threatening my friends I'm going
to deal with them. Some minion at SHIELD won't need to wrinkle
his suit writing reports!" She walked off. "C'mon,
baby. Let's go destroy some idiots. You'll like destroying
idiots. It makes Mommy happy. We can even have ice cream
afterwards so you can taste it later when it goes into my milk ducts."
"They do say that your diet can affect the taste and smells of various
bodily fluids," Pepper said. "I'm not sure if ice cream is one or
"Probably not," Phil said. He wanted to follow Dawn. He
really probably should follow Dawn. He could check on Chris later
since someone had just screamed in fear and outrage. He followed
to see who it was. The woman in there was sobbing and trying to
get away from Dawn.
"Did you really think trying to grab my son was a *good* idea?
Even if I wasn't pissed the fuck off, it probably would've gotten you
dead, bitch. Now, who the fuck are you with and why did you just
try to kidnap my son?" Phil walked over to handcuff her and frisk
her. "Which agency?"
"The one we're merging with," he said, showing it to her.
"Huh. Greatness." She smiled. "I'll set your bosses on
fire later. Okay? Right now I have to handle
something." She walked off talking to Philip about how to avoid
stupid people. She got to the ballroom. No Andrew, Patty, or
Jonathan. Only a very worried MB and her daughter. She
stared at her. "Who?" She hissed in her ear.
"Beya?" She looked over. "Here, watch him. I have to
handle something." She nodded, taking Philip from her. "Just
changed. Fed at the office. Bottle in the diaper bag.
Shouldn't take me that long." She went upstairs to her
locker. Steve was frowning when she walked in. "Sit, stay,
"Excuse me?" he asked, starting to follow her. "What's going on,
Dawn? Beyond the fire? You look really upset. Is
Philip all right? I know he had a baby doctor appointment."
"Yup, he's fine. Andrew's missing. Jonathan and Patty are
missing." She came out in her battle uniform, pulling on her
necklace with weapons. She checked it and changed it for the one
in Natasha's locker. Then she decided to pull out her two hidden
ones and fill them from the closet full of stuff she had concealed in
"Why are you hiding weapons?" Steve asked. He'd ask about other
things but he was trying really hard to get hold of her spouses to stop
her. Dawn plus weapons plus a battle outfit was usually a Very Bad
Thing. Neither Clint nor Natasha were answering though.
She smiled. "Because sometimes Tony pouts." She closed all
the little doors and put the necklace on then smiled and
disappeared. She had markers on Andrew and Jonathan. They'd
be wherever Patty was.
"JARVIS, was that Natasha pretending to be Dawn?" Steve asked, hoping for a positive answer.
"I'm afraid it was Dawn by her biometric rhythms, Captain."
"I've already alerted him that she was having a 'hell no' day as it's
usually called. I've told him she's disappeared with a great
number of weapons as well. He is not pleased. Neither is
"Great, Phil can help us handle it," Steve decided, getting into his
costume. Tony came off the elevator. "Any idea where she
"Her tracker's browned out again," he complained. "Has been for
two weeks. Barton and Romanoff are both out of touch today with
trainees. JARVIS, scan the news to see where she's blowing up?" he
"I believe she's in Europe and it's not a happy time but she's just
called in SHIELD Europe for backup, sir. Apparently they wanted
the boys to finish off their laser guided missile system. Dawn
reported that they needed medical backup because Patty is in labor and
the system is presently partially active. The fire raging in the
other buildings in the compound are not happy but they're not near the
chemical or weapons storage areas. Or where the missiles
are. SHIELD Europe is not pleased at all."
"Going," Phil said. He sent himself there and shot a few people trying for Dawn. "Dawn, a word please?"
"Fuck no! They touched people who're like my family. I'm
doing what my big brother would do if they touched his pack." She
glanced back. "Behind you." She threw a grenade at
someone. They turned into meaty chunks fit for the guard dogs'
dinner. Finally, jets and helicopters were landing. Dawn and
Phil sent over where things were and they got Patty out of there first
with Jonathan and Andrew. She followed when Phil glared at
her. She smiled. "Stark Security." She got onto the
helicopter with them. "Okay, Patty. How far apart are
they? Has your water broken?"
"No," she panted. "About ten minutes apart."
"Then you have *hours* yet," Dawn said with a pat and a slight
smile. "I had two days of those." Patty whined. "They
have stuff to speed it up." Jonathan nodded, clutching her.
Dawn looked back. "She's in labor. Can we go now?" The
pilot nodded and took off. "Thank you." She looked at
Andrew. "You okay?"
"MB and Caroline?" he asked, staring at his hands.
"With everyone else at Stark that's being sheltered thanks to a fire in PR."
"Is that what the alarm was?" Jonathan asked. Dawn nodded. "Why?"
"They're having a Springer moment."
"Oh, great," Andrew said, looking up at her. "You look like your wife in that."
Dawn smiled. "Thanks. I'm going to let you guys have a patch of it to see if you can make bras out of it."
"They might keep you perky," Jonathan agreed. Dawn led Patty
through the breathing until they landed. Then she got
separated. "No, we need Dawn!" Jonathan ordered. "She's our
helper!" Dawn followed, moving around a few doctors to get to
him. "Dawn, I can't do this alone."
"You won't be. Andrew's going to be helping once he gets a few
stitches." Jonathan relaxed. Andrew did come skidding around
a corner with bandages. "Sit, 'Drew. I'll do them if I have
to." He nodded, helping by pulling Jonathan off Patty.
"Sit, Johno, good daddy." He laughed but sat and held Patty's hand
for now. A huffy man stomped her way. "Which language do
you speak?" she asked in German.
"I speak excellent English," he said dryly.
"Good." She smiled. "I'm with Stark International.
These are our two missing geeks and one geek's wife that's in
labor. She's due last week anyway. Can I get a stitching
pack to do Andrew's arm?"
"He escaped his cubicle."
"They're like brothers. Beyond that, I wouldn't leave them alone
in an unfamiliar place either. They can do it in here and do the
debriefing if they must in here."
"That's fine. I'll allow an agent into the room once she's in one. We do have a few private rooms."
Dawn smiled. "Thank you for cooperating." She looked at Andrew. "Anything broken?"
"Just my temper and my mind," he complained. She hugged him.
He rested against her shoulder. "I nearly went evil, Dawn," he
"Good! That's the only allowable time, unless they're attacking
you guys." He looked up at her. "Really, it is. It's
when I go evil too."
He nodded, swallowing hard. "I didn't mean to hurt them that way. Not with magic or anything."
"You use what you've got at the time," she reminded him. "Not
everyone is a trained weapon like Natasha is." He nodded.
She frowned, looking up. "Phil's in trouble."
"Go," he said, letting her go free. "Before he has to go evil and it brings Xander with his axe."
Dawn looked at the staring doctor. She put something on Patty's
foot. "I'll find her in a few minutes." She opened one of
the necklaces and pulled out a few guns, then smiled and
disappeared. She tossed one at Phil and fired on the rest of them.
"Dawn, they're agents," she said.
"Yes, but they're not with SHIELD, Phil."
"Good point. Leave them living."
"I am!" She frowned as she felt someone coming up behind her,
turning and kicking him back. "Who the fuck are you?" He had
blood dripping down his head from a good sized gash. He was
tallish, brown haired; a standard looking white guy wearing an overcoat
"Who are you?" he countered.
"I'm Dawn. I'm with Stark. These idiots had stolen a few of
our geeks. Who the fuck are you? The next time I ask I'm
going to ask with a higher powered weapon."
He laughed. "You're adorable, ducks." She nearly slit his throat for that.
Phil looked then blinked a few times. "Dawn, off him.
Barnes, leave Summers alone!" They separated. "Stand down,
"How do you know me?" he demanded.
"I'm Agent Phil Coulson with SHIELD. I'm over the Avengers
well-being. Your picture's hanging in Captain Rogers room."
"That's Bucky?" Dawn asked with a point.
Phil nodded. "If not it's his son."
"No, I know Steve," Bucky said. He looked at Dawn. "You're not nice."
She snorted. "Please! Real women aren't nice when we're
attacked. We don't scream, turn an ankle, run from the monster, or
sob on demand when things get hard. Some of us pick up guns, some
of us call a lawyer, but all of us are tougher than this shit."
"Hands up!" someone demanded in German.
Dawn looked at him. "Excuse you, talking to the real SHIELD agent
here," she said in German with a point at Phil. "Identify yourself
or be a pet." He glared and shifted his grip on his gun.
Dawn snapped and he turned into a cuddly little poodle. She stared
down at him. "It never hurts to identify your agency,
idiot. That way people know you're supposed to be handling
things." She walked over him and went to look at the other
agents. Phil and Bucky followed, Bucky looking very lost and
confused. He knew a Stark once. She was employed by
Howard? Howard didn't really appreciate mouthy, strong, mean women
the last he knew.
"People!" she said to stop the fighting. They all stared at
her. "Hi, Stark Security. I came after our geeks. They
said they were taken to build the guidance part of that missile system,
which he said is partially active. I don't know how to disarm
it. That's why I called SHIELD Europe." A few slumped.
"Can you maybe take care of that and their sloppy chemical filing dump
across the courtyard? Then maybe get the three out of the weapons
lockers? Or should I do that for you?"
"You're a girl," one of the SHIELD agents said.
"Well, duh! It's good your eyesight is good enough to notice I
have breasts. How smart you are," she said dryly. "Did you
pass high school with those smarts?" He blushed and ducked his
head. "Want me to handle it? Fine." She walked
off. She walked over to the weapons locker and knocked. "Get
your ass out of there!" she ordered at the top of her lungs.
"Before I come in there and plant a bomb up someone's asshole!" A
few ran out. Dawn let Phil handle them. She walked in
there. "I warned you!" she yelled. The rest ran. Dawn
walked out with the bomb, looking at it. "Phil, I've never seen
the manual on this one at Xander's."
He looked and disarmed it. "Only one?"
"No, I can sense a huge blinky box under the chemicals."
Phil let the agents handle the leftover idiots while he went to
look. He came out. "We have ten minutes to clear this site,
people. We have a doomsday device under the chemical storage
"Who're you?" one of the lesser agents demanded. These Americans kept taking over and it was pissing them all off.
"Agent Coulson, SHIELD US. I'm the Agent-in-Charge of the Avengers
Initiative, and therefore over our adjunct members like Miss
Summers." The agent gaped then whimpered and reported that.
They left, taking the missile system with them and alerting the local
fire departments to come handle the chemical explosion that was going to
Dawn looked at the guy trying to sneak off. "Phil, going to Patty. She's in labor. Taking him with me."
"Go home, Dawn."
"Patty's in labor, Phil. No can do." She looked at
him. "You don't need to pack, right?" She grabbed his arm
and took him with her. "Okay," she said, smiling at Patty.
Jonathan and Andrew were in cuffs. She snapped and undid them then
leashed the agents against the wall, facing it, and begging for
mercy. "Better." She smiled at Patty. "You
okay?" She nodded, biting her lip. "You know what, we'll do
this the Stark way." She tapped into her phone. "JARVIS,
it's me. I have Patty in labor, Andrew and Jonathan banged up, and
an extra guest I can get if you can't get us. We need beamed out
now. The local agents are being idiots. They can talk to
"I can get all of you but the guest, Dawn."
"Then leave me and I'll bring him."
"I can...." Bucky started. Everyone disappeared. "How did you do that?" he demanded.
She smiled. "Stark is full of geeks." She took him, landing
in the Avengers only area. She cleared her throat.
"Steve?" He came out of the changing area. He paused in
mid-step, staring at their guest, mouth slightly open and eyes
wide. "I believe Phil identified him as yours." She gave him
a nudge forward. "Patty's in labor." She walked off. A
nice jacket went over her outfit since she didn't have time to change
or the energy for an illusion. She fluffed out her hair as she
walked over the walkway. She went into the infirmary. "No
"Good!" Dr. Pigalli said. "Who was treating them?"
"Bosnian people I think. If I was right about the area by the locals' talking."
"Okay," she decided. "Why?"
"They wanted them to finish a laser system."
She said something rude in a language only a few geeks knew. Dawn
grinned. Dr. Pigalli glared at her. "What are you wearing?"
Dawn looked at herself then at the doctor. "If I had grabbed my
chainmail, they would've run too fast." She shrugged and came
over. "Hey, Patty. The drugs nice?"
"They're real nice," she said with a grin. "I'm going to the same birthing center you went to."
"They were great. The nurses hovered some. They didn't even tell
me to quit swearing when I did a lot of it at my missing spouses.
If I have more, they're going to be born there too."
"Cool." She smiled at Jonathan. "We can go soon, right?"
"Happy's taking you," Dr. Pigalli said. "Do you want Dawn to go with you?"
"No. My baby may come out wanting to date Philip. That might
not work." Dawn cackled, giving her a hug. "Can we bring MB
"I've got a diaper bag packed for her," Pepper said as she walked in
with it and MB, plus the baby. "Here you go, and your packed bag,
Patty." Patty grinned. "Happy's right here." Happy
came in to help her down to the car. The boys followed with MB
behind them. She looked at Dawn. "You look good in that."
"I'm hoping someone can take this material and smooth it out some to make bras."
"Yeah, the kinetic and armor properties might keep you perky and not
wear out," Pepper said. "I'd change before Tony spots you."
"I would've but Patty needed me and I brought a friend of Steve's
home." She went back up there to change. She ran into
Bruce. "Hey, Stepdad. Is Mom over whatever funky mental
problem she has yet?"
"No, not yet. I have no idea what's going on with her, Dawn. She doesn't even want to babysit."
Dawn looked at him. "Fine. I was going to ask her because we
were going to get a weekend free but that's fine." He
winced. "Just... fix her mental issues one way or another,
okay? Fuck it out of her, whatever. I want my mother
back." She went into the training room and around the yelling
people to change and hide the weapons again.
"Dawn!" Steve shouted.
"Getting naked and you're not married to me," she quipped. "Talk to your best friend there, Steve."
"Dawn," he said less calmly.
She came out in her skirt and bra, which made Steve blush. "I told
you I was getting naked. It can't wait for ten minutes?"
"It never takes you ten minutes to get ready," he said, glaring at her. "What was that?"
"That was people had Andrew and Jonathan hostage to have them build them
shit and Patty was in labor with them." She went back to put on
her shirt and came out putting her hair up. Once she had the last
bobby pin in place she looked at him. "Beyond that, it's what we
who're trained by Xander do when our packs are threatened." She
smiled sweetly. "Patty's where I gave birth, the other three and
the baby are with her. Phil was handling the last minute things
there since he found a doomsday device. SHIELD Europe is full of
whiny babymen who had to keep a chain of command even during a
battle." Steve winced. "And the other agents who showed up
refused to say who they were so one's a poodle." She walked
off. "Going to get my son back from Beya so we can do a building
check together. By now he's got to be fussy and hungry."
Steve stared after her, his mouth slightly open. "This is why women confuse me," he told Bucky.
"She's not like most of the women I know either," he said, rubbing his
throat. Steve moved his hand to look at the cut. "She did
"She can do that. We spar once a week. Her, me, Clint, Natasha."
"Natasha? I knew an agent by that name once."
"Did she go by Black Widow?" Steve asked dryly.
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"She's Dawn's wife."
"Oh!" He nodded. "That explains a lot."
"Hawkeye is their husband."
"Huh," he said, considering that. "She's one pampered little warrior."
"They try really hard."
Someone walked in. "Why didn't Dawn ask? I would've went with her."
Steve stared at him. "Who are you?" This was getting really
ridiculous. Steve just needed a few moments to process that Bucky
was actually alive and all that. Did more people have to show up
Clint strolled in. "She's grabbing the baby to do a building
check, Wade. For that matter, she didn't tell *us* and she knows
she's supposed to. So back down, go pout. Natasha probably
will be." He stared. "Well, fuck," he said. "I'm not
fighting you over Natasha, Bucky. I'm going to kill your ass
outright if you touch my wives."
Wade blinked a few times. "You're too close for your bow," he said
with a grin. Clint unsnapped his gun and Wade laughed. Dawn
walked in and kissed him, making Clint moan. "Wow," he said,
pulling back. She kissed Clint, who clutched her against his
body. "He still gets better than me?"
She looked at him. "You only got one because you took out the
three agents trying to get our son." He grinned at that.
"Aren't you supposed to be finding people?"
"Oh, cool." She walked off happier. "Barnes, touch my wife
and I'm going to castrate you with a rusty spoon and fuck with your mind
until you think you enjoy it and beg me to do it again." She
slammed the door on her way out.
"Wow," Wade said, grinning after her. "Are you sure I can't bring
her home with me, Barton?" Clint growled and Wade wisely decided
to retreat for a bit. He didn't want to know if his healing factor
worked here or not. He ran into Natasha. "Your wife's
growling possessively." He fled because she was growling now
too. He was a bit scared of Natasha. She was mean in that
bad way even if she was sexy when she did it.
Natasha walked in and paused then smiled. "Barnes."
"Natasha." He stared at her. "You look good. Very good."
She smiled. "As do you."
"Hell. No," Clint said simply, walking Natasha off. She
huffed. "Sorry, have to talk to her for now. You two catch
up." He slammed the door and pushed her against it to kiss
her. "Mine, all mine."
"I am yours and Dawn's," she said between kisses. "People can see us."
"Good," he growled, taking another one. "Excellent in fact. I'm going to claim you like I have Dawn."
She whimpered. "We should do that again."
"We will this weekend."
"Joyce won't babysit."
"We'll figure it out." He kissed her neck, making her tip her head
back some. "I don't care how exciting he was, I'm better."
"You're as good as he was and Dawn is better," she teased. He bit
her throat and she gasped. "Clint!" He growled in her ear
but his hands were trying to get inside her uniform. "We are not
doing this here." He found that spot behind her ear that turned
her mind to mush. "There are rooms," she noted. "We can use
Pepper walked past them blushing. "Guys, those walls are see through."
"Good," Clint said against Natasha's throat. "Her super stud ex just got found. No way in hell."
Pepper got them out of the way so she could open the door and walked in, smiling at Steve. "Wow."
"Are they okay?"
"Clint's trying to talk his way into claiming her there on the
walkway. Tony will break them up." She walked over,
smiling. "Pepper Potts."
"Bucky Barnes, Miss Potts." He shook her hand. "This is very weird."
"Weird things are usually SHIELD's problem but now and then we here at
Stark do handle them thanks to the head geek," she said with a
smile. Tony walked in laughing. "Did you convince them to
"No, she just knocked him down and ripped his t-shirt on him." He rolled his eyes. "I don't know why."
"We used to date, slightly," Bucky said.
Tony stared. He had seen a few pictures of that guy. "Barnes."
"You have to be Stark's kid."
"I am." He shook his hand. "We'll talk later. Steve,
why don't you put him in one of the quiet rooms over here so the kids
don't annoy him to death."
"You have kids?" he asked Steve, smiling slightly. "I've got to meet your wife."
Steve coughed and pointed. "Tony's the wife."
"You're the wife," Tony corrected with a grin. "Your father-in-law
only likes you out of the three of us." He walked around them,
opening a closet that was magically hidden. "She got most of it out of
here finally. I'll have them get into her necklaces to see what
else she has stored this time." He closed the door and opened
another one. "Quiet bedroom. Privacy shielded. Noise
dampened. Nice bathroom and bed. Rest. It's going to
be a long week," he said, walking off. Steve stopped him and gave
him a hug. He grinned as he hugged him back. "Thanks," he
He grinned. "I'm not going to deny that you drive me nuts just
because my best friend suddenly shows up. I doubt Bucky's going to
be against anything that makes me happy, Tony. Even if I did
freak out a bit at Howard's ghost, he's different."
Tony smiled and walked off. He opened the door. "Oh my god, I
did not need to see that you have a tattoo there, Barton!"
"Bite me, Stark. I do not."
"Bullshit." He tossed down his sunglasses. "Magic
see-through spells thanks to the coven." He walked off shaking his
head. "Dawn, your uniform should be burned soon," he called when
the elevator paused on the floor she was on.
"I'm hoping someone can take it and use it to make bras, Stark."
The baby squealed. "That's right, that's Uncle Tony." She
walked out to grin at him. "Beyond that, they had my pack.
He laughed. "Your mates are claiming each other up on the walkway. Why did you have his tattoo hidden?"
"He had it hidden. Not me."
"Oh. Whatever." He looked at the baby. "Want to go
learn how to love the lab so you can go in the suit if Chris doesn't
"I doubt you can breastfeed him, boss, and he's starving."
Tony shook his head. "I'm not that sort of genius. Thanks
though." He let the doors shut and went down to handle the chaos
going on outside with his other people. He walked in to Pepper
giving an announcement.
"Patty has just had her daughter by c-section at the same birthing
center Dawn used." She smiled. "The doctors there were
superb. Patty said it went really fast and easy, Jonathan didn't
pass out and neither did Andrew. Allenetta and Caroline are happy
friends already according to Andrew. Caro's already cooing at
her. The people who had Andrew and the others are very sorry but
Agent Coulson is dealing with them."
Dawn walked in. "Are we missing anyone else I need to help go
rescue?" she asked, looking around. "I'll gladly go destroy
another compound to get them." A few looked nervous. She did
a head count and looked. "Where's Shield Design?" A few of
them raised their hands. "Are you missing people?"
"They had today off, Dawn."
"Okay." She looked around. "Where's lab 18?" No one
said anything. "Anyone seen them today?" No one said
"I believe by the scans I'm doing that we're missing six or seven
people. I'm not sure if one was off today or not, Dawn. I
believe they were beamed off by the same people."
"So in other words, someone cracked Stargate or us to get the beaming satellite or they hijacked it?" Tony asked.
"Hijacked it, sir. The hacking was stopped within minutes.
Accessing those records, there are seven still missing. I'm making
a list for you."
Tony looked at it. "Biologists and chemists. Any idea where, JARVIS?"
"It led to the same starting point. I've alerted Agent Coulson so
he can handle it with the agents from SHIELD Europe who are whining at
him at the moment."
Dawn smiled. "I can go help. Did he get that poodle?"
"He did and changed him back to ask who he was with. He was
apparently with a third group that was interested and was trying to
"Then he should've identified himself when I asked," Dawn said bluntly. "Do they need help?"
"Grounded," Tony and Pepper said together. Pepper took Philip, who was happily squealing at Mommy.
"No, Agent Coulson said he has it and he does know where they are.
He's presently moving them into assault shape and ignoring their boss,
who he outranks anyway. Agent Hill has said that they're a go and
has had the head over there arrested for being an idiot."
"Sometimes," Dawn muttered. She walked off. "Son, want to
come with me or stay with Auntie Pepper?" He cooed at the
auntie. "Okay. You just ate so that's good." Beya took
him from Pepper, making Dawn grin. "That's fine too." She
went to the walkway and paused, staring at them. "I'd be jealous
but you're both being tied down tonight so I can have some fun."
Clint looked up at her from kissing Natasha. "You know I hate being tied down, Dawn."
She smiled. "Then you should've saved me some, Clint." She strolled off. "Beya has him."
Clint and Natasha shared a look. "We'll have to ambush her first."
"The twins might try to save her."
"Nah, they'll appreciate us stalking and trapping our prey." They
shared an evil smirk and got up to rearrange their clothes. Clint
had to get a new t-shirt but that was fine with him. They'd have
fun trapping the most wily predator ever, their wife in a wicked mood.
Bucky tried hard to quit blushing. "This is really strange," he told Steve.
"It's good to see them happy." He was blushing too. He had no idea Natasha would get that loud.
"I never made her get that loud."
"You should hear Dawn," Steve said then cleared his throat. He
looked up at the 'excuse me, you did *what* to my spouse' that got
yelled. "I think Xander's upset with someone who went after
Phil. Want to rest, clean up? I'll get you a few of my spare
"Sure, I could nap. Maybe this headache will go away."
"Maybe," Steve said. "No idea though." He got him a few
things and brought them back, handing them over with a smile.
"When you're ready, come on over. We're in the penthouse.
JARVIS will let you up."
"Yes I will," the AI said. "Though the elder Stark's ghost is up there throwing a fit."
"I'll talk with Howard in a minute," Steve sighed. "He's in
ghostly form," he told his best friend. "He's slightly driving us
nuts some days." He went up there to calm him down. He
stared at the cat that was batting at him then at the ghost. "He's
curious. That's why he's named after your son." Howard
stared at him. "They just found Bucky. Any idea how or
why? Since he doesn't look like he's really aged?"
Howard swallowed. "We had a theory but no proof, Steve."
"You could've told us. We would've went to rescue him."
"There wasn't time and we had people looking for him."
"Where is the file, Howard? I'll yell later, when I've processed all this new input that's giving me a headache."
"My office, second locked drawer in the filing cabinet the last I knew. Unless Tony moved it."
"Tony doesn't go to the mansion. He hates it there." He
walked off, taking his motorcycle over. He needed a mind clearing
ride and JARVIS would tell him if Bucky was looking for him.
Xander appeared in a manner that shook the building and made people grab
for solid surfaces. He glared at one of them. "Excuse me,
you did *what* to my spouse?"
"Sir, who are you?" one of the agents asked.
Xander hit him. "Alexander. And I no longer protect you,
mortal." The guy flinched back, shaking his head. "Oh,
yeah. Definitely." He helped Phil up. "Are you all
right? You're healing good?" he asked, checking the small caliber
gunshot wound. "Let me kill them for this," he said, setting Phil
in a chair.
"I already did, Xander. I can kill people myself," Phil said blandly.
He looked at him. "I know you can. You took out one the
other day with a bottle of poisoned white out." He smiled at
him. "It gave me happy tingles."
"I remember you having them." He patted him on the hand.
"I'm fine. We have to get the other scientists that were stolen
"Andrew and Jonathan?"
"Dawn rescued them and Patty." Xander growled. "They're dead, Xander. Calm down."
Phil patted him on the hand. "Let's go raid the other compound.
You can help me wipe out some bad guys." Xander grinned and
manifested his axe, bouncing some. They left together. When
they came back, there were fewer agents standing around being
useless. The ones who had survived were arrested. The geeks
were taken back to Stark, and SHIELD Europe was getting a new head agent
just as soon as they found Fury to make it so.
Dawn walked in that night, smiling at the baby. "Are you being Mr.
Messy Pants again?" she asked him with a smile. "It figures that
you'd poop just as we got home. You do it so Daddy has to change
you, right?" Clint walked past and stole the baby, making Dawn
grin. "Cool, thanks."
"Welcome. Talked to your mother. She's got something wrong with her."
"I noticed. I asked Stepdad to please fuck it out of her."
The twins gasped and stared in open-mouthed horror. "Not like they
don't have sex, girls." Artemis squeaked. She smiled and
hugged them both. "Mom and Bruce have sex at least once in a
while. The same as we do."
"We're going to visit Sean," Diana chirped, nearly squeaking, still
blushing. She stole the baby, Artemis grabbed the diaper bag, and
"I wonder how they're going to feed him," Dawn said, looking up.
"You expressed earlier," Clint reminded her. "You had two in the
fridge. Three bottles should get him through the night." He
smirked and walked over to where Dawn was, but she moved to put up her
bag and jacket. "Won't save you."
"Why do I need saved?" she asked with a grin. "I'm a good girl."
"No you're not." He picked her up and carried her into the
bedroom, tossing her onto the bed. Natasha nicely hitched her
down. Clint looked over the outfit, which admittedly was one of
his favorite on her. So they couldn't cut it off her. Which
left Natasha doing it while Clint distracted Dawn so she didn't want to
get free. Dawn was playing innocent but they knew what had
happened. Phil had given a very succinct report about what had
happened. It was time to remind Dawn who the badass in the family
was and which one of them was the princess. Natasha pulled over a
knife. "I like that one," Clint said.
"I do as well, she should've changed into something expendable."
She looked at the outfit, then smiled. "Will you be good and get
undressed for us?"
"I haven't been bad today," Dawn said with a smile.
"Princess, you're so going to get it for earlier," Clint assured
her. He could undo her skirt, stockings, garter belt, and
panties. Natasha had the bra and shirt to handle. He
and Natasha shared a look. "We'll buy her a new shirt."
"Hey, it's one of the few that fits," Dawn complained.
"We'll buy you a new one," Natasha said, giving her a kiss before
cutting it off. The bra got removed more delicately. Good,
comfortable nursing bras were hard to find. Clint stared but
Natasha cleaned up a small leak from one breast. "He hasn't fed
"No, he fed about an hour ago. I produce way too much milk."
"Hmm," Clint said. "Maybe that's because it was twins before the time
flip?" Dawn stared at him. He nodded. "They didn't get
to hit you with the fertility drugs, Dawn."
"Maybe," she said, scanning herself. "The Keys are doing
something." She shifted them back into their usual position.
No extra baby but it felt like she was missing something.
"Huh. That could be." They shrugged and teased her by
cleaning up the few drips. "Guys," she complained.
"We'll help you pump in a bit," Clint said, licking up from a nipple to
Dawn's lips so he could tease them. "Nat, did you hear that the
doctor wouldn't let her go back on the dual birth control because she
thought it might screw up her body?"
"I did hear her mentally complaining about that. We will have to be careful."
"Condoms aren't coming back," Dawn said firmly.
"There are other things we can do when you're more likely to be
fertile," Natasha said with an evil smirk. "Including you becoming
only mine those days." Dawn shivered. She moved down
to check her over. "Nearly off your cycle?"
"Stopped earlier. Could use cleaned up."
"We'll do that in a while," Clint said. He pulled out a few
condoms and tossed them onto the pillow beside her head. Dawn gave
him a pointed look. He smiled. "We'll need 'em." He
found the lube too. Dawn was staring at him. "It's been much
too long since we claimed you in a way that showed."
"No, not really. You two did that earlier," Dawn said.
"Yes but we haven't claimed you recently," Natasha said with a wicked
smirk. "So we will today." She found her strap on set and
put it on, looking at the toy attached to it. "That should
do." Dawn moaned, watching them do what they wanted to do.
Clint was checking how much lube they had. That told her it was
going to be an interesting night.
Clint opened the tube of lube, spreading some onto his fingertips to be
spread around. He grinned as he reached down to start the prep
work. Dawn gasped as the cool gel slid into her on callused
fingers. "Clint," Dawn moaned.
"This way we can make sure you're not getting pregnant again
soon." Dawn was shifting to give him better access.
"Natasha, want to shift her so you don't have to wait?"
"No, I believe this is fine for right now." She looked Dawn over,
leaning down to tease a few things. Dawn flinched and yelped into
one bite. She arched up to get away from the teeth so Clint slid a
pillow under her hips. Natasha driving Dawn nuts worked well for
his plans. When he ran out of patience, he pulled on a condom to
slick down. Then he slid in. Dawn gasped and writhed a
bit. He grinned. "Been a while."
"Very long time," she groaned.
"Time to remedy that," he said, leaning down to kiss her. "More
than time to remedy that oversight." Dawn was gasping and pushing
back against him. "Nat, I'd offer you my lap but it'd mean I can't
thrust at all."
She smiled and straddled him, nestling herself inside Dawn's body.
"I think this will work fine for me and you can have the time when I'm
worn out." He nibbled on her throat. She tipped her head
back but set up a fairly strong rhythm inside Dawn. It made sure
that the part of his cock that was outside of Dawn's body was being
rubbed by Natasha's ass. Dawn was moaning and trying to grab them
but the handcuffs were good ones. Dawn tried to get out of them
but Natasha distracted her so she couldn't pick them, couldn't gather
enough thought to teleport slightly out of them, and was going to stay
there and enjoy it, like usual.
"Oh my god!" Dawn shouted. "'Tasha! Please!"
"Soon." She leaned down to lick over a dripping breast. "We will let you go soon."
"I don't care about letting go!"
"We'll let you go in that other way soon," she promised, taking a
kiss. Clint moaned. Natasha sped up, letting Dawn get
off. She pulled back with a slurp of sound and leaned down to kiss
her better. "Let Clint play, Dawn, and then I will give you
She pulled her lips back by biting on one. "Go put on the choker for me?" she begged.
"We will do that some other time." She smirked evilly. "While he cannot help."
"I still might get a bit strange about it," Clint complained.
Natasha got off him and he shifted closer, sliding all the way back
in. Natasha's position had meant he was only as deep as his
head. Now, he had full range of motion. Dawn whimpered and
wrapped her thighs around him. He grinned. "All mine now."
"Mercy?" she begged. "Or an orgasm?"
"Neither of those are on my agenda until after dinner.
Sorry." He pushed in extra hard, making her gasp. He teased
her clit a few times with his thumb but Dawn was in a bad way. She
was going to split herself open to get what she needed and wanted - if
he let her, because he wasn't about to let her get that far yet.
He shifted so he could lean down and get a bit deeper and harder thrusts
going. She shivered but clung to Natasha's hands since she was
playing with her fingers. Dawn had a few nice, sensitive spots
that Natasha was going to torment while Clint made her feel like their
wife again. Dawn was shaking and making needy noises but Clint and
Natasha soaked them up. Dawn wasn't getting off yet.
Natasha got the small vibrating egg that they loved because it drove
Dawn insane. She licked it over then inserted it with a careful
finger. She turned it on medium.
Clint yelped and growled. "Nat!"
She smiled. "The walls are that thin?"
"Yes, they are!" He shifted the ball higher, up near her g-spot
and cervix. That was better, he could barely feel the vibration.
"Mother fucker!" Dawn shouted, arching up again and sobbing. "Clint! Natasha! C'mon!"
"You will be getting off after you've eaten dinner. You missed
lunch for the doctor's appointment," Natasha said. "Then you may
get off." Clint smirked at her but went back to his fun.
"Are you nearly done? I was going to order."
"Not even close," he growled.
Natasha smiled and put an order in. When it got there she went
down to retrieve it in a bathrobe. The delivery boy gaped but she
arched an eyebrow up and gave him an extra tip with a small smile.
She went back upstairs, putting the food on the counter. She also
killed the fly that had been bothering the house since the night
before. She strolled back into their bedroom, taking off the
robe. Dawn was on her stomach and Clint was still riding her ass
until she wanted to beg for more than mercy. Natasha slid under
her head. Dawn automatically attacked her clit, making Natasha
Clint grinned at her. "She mindless yet?"
"Not nearly. She's still got tongue rhythm." Clint shifted
slightly and pushed in harder. Dawn yelped into Natasha's
body. Natasha gently guided her head back down. Dawn moaned
but licked her. "That's slightly better," she said, moaning and
tipping her head to the side. "More, Dawn?" She spread out
for her pleasure. Dawn knew what she needed and wanted.
Clint was dripping sweat. Natasha was starting to get warm.
Dawn was making needy noises into Natasha's crevices. Clint
finally came with a growl and a push in that settled him as deeply as he
could. His back arched and he panted, calming himself down.
He looked down at Dawn's back, leaning down to lick up some of the
sweat. "Now I'm hungry."
Natasha smiled. "She is too by the way she's treating me like an ice cream cone again."
"Get off and we can eat," Clint said with a smile. They kissed
over Dawn's back. Clint carefully pulled out, holding onto the
condom. It got tossed out and he flopped down beside his
girls. Natasha was holding Dawn's head in place but the new cuffs
were preventing Dawn from using her hands at all. Clint leaned
over. "Tongue fuck her, Dawn. Then bite her clit," he said
in her ear.
"She is," Natasha moaned. "She's doing very well." Dawn
shifted and switched targets. Natasha moaned loudly and came,
going stiff for a second. Dawn cleaned her up. "That's
precious, Dawn. For that, you'll get an hour before you get to
come." She undid the straps, kissing each wrist. Then her
wife. Who cuddled her. "We should eat."
Dawn blinked at her. "I can't."
"You can," Clint said, running a hand down her back. He got
something and slid the small plug into her ass. Then he adjusted
the vibrating egg, making Dawn moan and go tense. "Dinner."
"I can be dinner," she promised.
Clint smiled. "After I clean you out, you're going to be
dessert." Dawn shivered. Clint stood and helped her up,
letting her lean against him since she had wobbly legs. Natasha
adjusted the egg's vibration. "Is that one waterproof, Nat?"
She smiled. "It is." They shared a smirk. She got them
dinner and Dawn ate it from Clint's lap. He had demanded, that
way she ate instead of teasing them and feeding them. Natasha got
finished first and looked over Dawn's stomach. "I believe we need
to do something." She teased a finger along Dawn's fold so she'd
open up. "She's a bit tense, Clint."
"We'll clean her out in a few minutes so I can have my treat."
Dawn blinked at him. "More?"
"Much, much more, Dawn. In the morning you're going to have
'property of Clint and Natasha' on your soul and radiating out of your
body." He grinned. "The one you already have is starting to
wear out." She shook her head. "Yeah, it is." He
kissed her and finished dinner. Natasha pulled Dawn over to kiss
and make her straddle her lap. "That's beautiful." He threw
out the dishes and put the silverware in the sink. He could prep
the bathroom while they made out. Natasha was going to help Dawn
pump milk for their spawn and then bring her in. They had already
talked about this.
Clint got everything ready and came out to watch. The automatic pump was
good. Natasha was teasing the other side. When it was time
she switched the suction cup to the full side and cleaned up the other
one. The suction did make Dawn's nipples very sensitive.
When they were done, Natasha put the milk in the fridge while Clint
carried Dawn into the bathroom. She could almost walk again but
Clint was being macho today. It required carrying, and if he could
have done it he would've had her play dick trophy like Hylal had for
Instead, he'd have to deal with an enema or two. He had found the
neatest plug that went in both holes at the same time. He slid in
their other vibrating egg and then the plug once it was on. He
hooked the bag up onto the little nail in there and opened the
clothespin keeping it closed. Dawn shivered and gripped the
sink. He helped her bend down so it was a better position then sat
on their vanity bench and pulled her so she was over his lap.
"That's my girl," he praised. Dawn was in needy hell. The
vibrating eggs felt different surrounded by sterile water.
Dawn's breath was hitching and she was wiggling. He smoothed a
hand over her back, calming her down. They didn't usually do an
enema this way; usually it was Dawn doing one to get ready for anal
sex. Dawn was twitching and trying to breathe. Clint checked
the water then her. "Just a bit more," he soothed. She was
tense and whining. The water finished and he unhooked the bag,
leaving in the plug. Dawn was whining. He stroked over
her. "Lick me, Dawn. You can relieve it in a few
minutes." She shifted onto her knees carefully and licked him,
looking up at him. He grinned down at her. "Like that,
yeah. Make me yours, Dawn."
She moaned and went deeper, making Clint get harder. "Can I please get rid of the water?"
"Not yet. Are the eggs good?"
She shrugged a bit. "Slightly but it's not conducting the vibrations the same way."
"Hmm." He pulled her off him, leaving a string of drool from her
lips to his cock. He pulled out the plug. "Go." She
ran to the toilet to relieve that pressure. "Bring out the eggs if
they fall out."
"They'll need cleaned anyway and I might want to do another one."
"Clint," she complained.
"Dawn, I'm going to be tongue deep in you soon. I want it *very*
clean when I have my dessert." He grinned at her shivering.
"Do I need to come distract you?"
"Okay." He considered it. He might want another one.
He ran a warm washcloth to clean her up. She'd do most of it but
he'd make sure. She came out blushing. He cleaned her
gently, getting to tease her through it. He tasted her and
smiled. "Wonderful." He pulled her closer so he could lick
her until she begged.
"Bed?" she panted.
"In a few. Natasha's changing the sheets." Dawn gripped the
edge of the vanity, letting Clint have his teasing time. Clint
brought her to the edge and then backed off, gently teasing her back
Dawn was trying to touch herself but he was keeping her from it. "Switch with her?" she begged.
"No, not tonight. Sorry. We flipped a coin. In two
days we get to switch so you have time to get less sore. Which is
also your next day off." He gave her one last lick and brought her
out there. The bed was set up so they could sleep on it.
"Not helping?" he asked with a slight pout.
"I will be. My thigh is a bit sore. I'll help by distracting her."
Clint grinned at Dawn, who was shivering. "That'll work." He
climbed onto the bed and pulled her into his lap. Dawn's ass got
stroked over then Clint handed Natasha a condom. She grinned as
she rolled it down him then took the lube to reapply to both of
them. Dawn was groaning and praying hard to the Goddess that they
get on with it. She was still needy, even if she wasn't as needy
as she had been before dinner. That was about to change.
Clint slid in, making Dawn gasp and grip his shoulders.
"Easy," he whispered in her ear, getting another shiver. "It's
going to be a long ride, Dawn." He slowly thrust in and let her
meet him. She knew how this position worked for them. It was
going to be a long, slow, hard ride between them. A hard thrust,
then a slow slide out. A hard thrust, a pause, then a slow slide
out. Dawn was already moaning and gasping. Natasha's fingers
had something to do with that but it was all good for them any way it
"More," Dawn demanded, staring at him. "Please?"
He grinned. "You'll get off, Dawn."
"Not concerned with that," she panted, kissing him. "Need more, Clint."
"I can do that." He laid her back down carefully, keeping in
her. That gave him better leverage for a faster, still hard
ride. That's how Dawn liked it anyway. Though, he was
feeling that growling, primal urge again since she was so sweaty and her
skin had a nice flush to it. Maybe...." He rode her extra
hard, trying not to slip into that urge. She was scratching his
arms for a handhold on his sweaty skin. "Dawn, dangerous," he
She blinked up at him and wiggle free then flipped over and licked
Natasha's breast. Clint growled and slid back into her, taking her
harder and faster. Dawn shrieked in pleasure and bounced back to
meet him. She could barely catch her breath. Clint was
sucking his way up her back until she pushed back against him.
Being a pushy bottom flipped a few of his switches and his primal urges
knew that meant she needed to be claimed harder and better.
"Calm down," Natasha ordered. Dawn kissed her, making her moan.
Clint smirked, slowing down some so his girls could play for a
bit. Dawn wiggled but he spread her cheeks apart to get deeper
into her ass. She pushed back. "Wife," he said in her
ear. "You're not going to want to sit tomorrow." He thrust
in hard. Dawn moaned. "Is that what you want?"
"I just want you, Clint," she panted. "It's all good." He
groaned against her shoulder. "Natasha needs teased."
"Flip her around and be the dick teasing slut you are for us," he told
her. She gave him a look. "You do for me and no one else."
She grinned. "I love to tease you." He growled and pushed in
harder. Dawn moaned but Natasha helped by letting her distract
herself by licking and teasing her pussy. Clint liked that.
All of him liked that. He hadn't been this hard in quite a while,
and he wasn't near ready to come yet. Dawn... well, they had a
great tub for her to soak in. He kept riding her, making her moan
into Natasha's body, which made Natasha moan back. Clint was
getting closer. Dawn was pleading to come.
Clint slammed in a few times and let himself come, pinching Dawn's clit
to make her go over too. Dawn's mind flashed open, drawing theirs
in. She couldn't help it and they wouldn't deny her that release
too. She was over stimulated but they could make her shake
apart. Natasha moved to tease her instead and Dawn shrieked out
loud and mentally, finally coming apart. They panted, calming
down. Clint slowly pulled out, taking off the condom to throw
out. Dawn was wincing and hissing as she laid down.
Natasha kissed her, cuddling her front. "Are you all right? We can run you a tub."
"Don't you dare move," she said hoarsely. "I will pout and not give you oral sex for *days*."
Natasha smiled. "I won't move them. Clint could run
it." She shook her head, pulling Clint against her backside.
"Fine, we will cuddle. I set the clock to get us up a half-hour
early so you could do some soaking." Dawn grinned and snuggled in,
making sure Clint was against her back by trapping his arm over her
chest. Natasha wrapped around her front, and Dawn fell asleep
faster than she ever had.
Clint watched as the green glow slowly faded, staring at Natasha, who
was smiling back. "The cream that relieves pain?" he
mouthed. She pointed in the bathroom. "Safe?" She
nodded. "She'll need it." Natasha smiled and nodded.
He yawned. "I'm exhausted." He shifted some and fell asleep
with his head tucked underneath Dawn's hair. Natasha let them
sleep, slowly stroking over Dawn's side when she fussed a bit. She
finally fell asleep too. It was a good night to be Dawn.
Dawn came off the elevator in the morning and stood to sort the mail, handing it over.
Pepper watched how she was walking. "Do you need the infirmary?"
she hissed. "I'll go find my softball bat to beat them with."
Dawn shook her head, blushing some. "They flipped a coin to see
which one got which hole, Pepper," she hissed. Pepper
shivered. Dawn nodded. "Thankfully there's a numbing
cream." She walked out to do her lab rounds. She was *sore*
but she could almost walk normally.
She walked past Tony in the hallway and he turned to walk her off to her
desk. She hissed and winced as she sat down. He stared down
at her. "Infirmary?"
"Butt sex," she admitted with a blush, not looking up at him. "A lot of butt sex."
Tony was blushing too. "Okay, TMI, but want the day off?"
"No, I can stand," she said.
"Uh-huh. You have to sit sometime today." She looked up at him. "Take something?"
"Need checked?" he asked. She shook her head quickly. "You sure?"
"Clint. Numbing cream," she assured him with a smile. He stared at her. "Four hours of butt sex," she mouthed.
"Oh!" He nodded. "Seen that problem then, yeah. Want Pepper's little seat ring?"
Dawn shook her head. "No thanks." He walked into the office
and closed the door, sharing a smirk with Pepper. Who was
giggling. Dawn calmed herself down and went back on her lab
rounds. Thankfully Andrew was too busy cooing over their kids to
notice she couldn't really walk properly. Bruce wasn't in his lab
but had left his reports. She ran into Steve in the hallway back
to the office.
He stared at her. "Should I beat one of them for you?"
"You do and you're going to be taking your shield up your ass," she
muttered, staring at him. "It was playing too hard." He
blushed, looking down and shaking his head. "Really, I'm
okay. If they had been mean I would've already killed them."
"Good point." He helped her back to her desk, watching her wince
as she sat down. He realized what that was. "Tony's done
that to me many days," he said quietly, going into the office.
"She looks like I did after our anniversary." Tony smirked at
him. "Though she said if I beat them for it, she was going to
shove my shield somewhere indelicate."
"She probably could," Pepper admitted. "Shrinking it and then teleporting it."
Steve gave her a look then kissed her on the head. "Usually that's
a Dawn thought, Pepper." He walked off blushing. Bucky was
still in the training area but Callia was over to talk to him about
things. He stared at her. "How did you get in here?"
"I knocked until someone let me in," she said with a grin. "We Starks are sneaky bitches."
"Added more time to your grounding," he assured her with a smile.
She sighed but shrugged. "I'll be grounded so long that I'll eventually
catch up to the grade I'm in as I age into it anyway." He gave her
a pointed look. "You won't even let me do homework."
"Yeah, try that again," he said dryly, pointing. "You had a social
studies paper due yesterday your dad said you didn't do."
"You have my tablet and my laptop. How do you expect me to do papers?"
"Pen, paper? The old fashioned way," he said with a smirk.
"Now." She huffed but went to do that. "Add on another page
while you're at it." She pouted but went to her room to work on
that. Steve looked up and shook his head then looked at
Bruce. "Dawn's in a cranky mood since she can't sit."
"Do we need to beat them?"
"She promised to shove my shield somewhere when I offered."
"Ah! That sort of sore." Bruce shook his head but he was
smiling. "It can be fun." Steve blushed bright red.
"I think he knows that, Dr. Banner," Bucky said with a grin for him.
"Slightly. I could still sit."
"You have advanced healing," Bruce quipped. "So do I. Dawn
doesn't." He looked over as the two missing avengers walked
in. "Should we say something about why Dawn's too sore to sit?"
Clint grinned. "We flipped a coin, Bruce, and until you can straighten out her mom, no you can't."
He groaned. "I have no idea. I asked but she brushed it off."
"I find talking to Dawn after sex works best," Natasha quipped. "She'll actually say things she never meant to tell us."
Clint nodded. "Yup."
Bruce shook his head. "I'd rather enjoy it than use it for interrogation."
"We don't," Clint assured him with an evil smirk. "For that,
there's Godiva chocolates." Bruce's mouth flopped open.
"Dawn *loves* a few of their candy bar flavors."
"Damn you're mean," Bucky said, starting to laugh. "Can you use that in an official one?"
"Depends on the person," Natasha admitted. "I've used drugged chocolate and hot chocolate in the past."
"I don't usually interrogate. I usually fire instead of ask
questions," Clint said. He looked around. "I'd almost expect
the sword-using jackass to be hovering."
"Sent him off earlier," Steve sighed. "He's pouting. Beya wanted to know where Philip is."
"The twins stole him last night to visit Sean," Natasha said, rolling her eyes.
Dawn limped in. "We have to talk to the girls anyway. Diana
decided she wanted to know what making out was like and asked one of the
Bruce looked at her. "Want me to tell your mother?"
"No, she and I are having a talk when she gets back here." They
got beamed in, with Sean scowling. "Sean, she's underage but some
day she's going to date."
"Not today and not with the Marines on Atlantis," he said firmly.
"We should respect them for the warriors they are, not treat them like
tonsil hockey instructors," he told his sister.
"Mom was fifteen when she got kissed."
"You're fourteen and Mom would kick your ass," Sean countered.
Dawn whistled. "Stop it." They both stared at her. "Artemis, please take Philip up to Beya?"
"No," she pouted. "He's going to help me in the gym." She walked off happier.
Sean groaned. "Aunt Dawn, can we talk before you have the longer talk with my sister?"
"Why?" He walked over to hiss in her ear. "I understand
that." She hugged him. "I'll talk to her later. You?"
"I.... I kinda do but I kinda don't. If we could move the city there, then I'd be *really* happy."
"Don't suggest that, there's demons that can do that," she
quipped. Sean's eyes went wide and he stared at her. She
nodded. "We'll talk later." Sean nodded and walked over to
talk to his grandfather about that botanist. Dawn looked
over. "Do I need my sword again?"
"No, she said if she hears you're there she's going to hide for her life
inside the decontamination chambers. She might even put herself
in stasis so she doesn't have to wait."
"Hell no," Clint told him. "She needs to get a life." Sean
grinned at him. "Sean, this is Bucky, a friend of your Uncle
Steve's from the old days."
Sean blinked at him. "Were you in ice too?"
"Huh." He shook his hand then grinned at his uncle. "Ronon
said I need to spar against others so I don't get too used to his
"Sure, kid, we can spar." Sean beamed and nodded. "You going to do it in that?"
He nodded. "I do most days." He got up. "Let me stretch?"
"We can work together," Natasha said, taking him off to the side to help
him stretch. She was the better fighter between her and Clint.
Dawn looked at them. "It's my day to spar too."
Clint grinned. "You sure you want to do that?"
"No." He laughed and hugged her, kissing her on the
forehead. "Let me go talk to Diana." She walked off.
"Artemis, go help your brother," she called into the gym. "He's
sparring with your aunt."
"Yes, Auntie. C'mon, Philip, we'll go watch Sean spar.
You'll like that." She carried him up there babbling the whole
Dawn found Diana sulking with Pepper and helped her up. "Let's go talk."
"I just wanted to find out!" she protested. "He wasn't going to go farther."
"Most boys would've tried to go farther and when you realized it felt
good, would've nudged you to go all the way," Tony said simply.
"Which you're at least two years too young for. Your body still
has some growing to do. The only thing you should be wondering
about your body's responses is to your own touch. That way boys
can't show you how good something feels as a way to get into your
panties." Diana was blushing. "And if you're still blushing
about it, it's too soon to do anything with it."
"That's a good outlook," Dawn agreed. "We're going to the admin
breakroom." She took her that way, settling in on the couch in
there to talk to her. She needed the big girl talk apparently.
Demons all over the plane looked at earth and New York City when they
heard that idea. They looked at their higher ups, who would not be
pleased, but it would solve a lot of problems and it wasn't like the
demigods couldn't get back. Right? So maybe.....
Plus, it would be a favor to the former senior slayer before her
children caused much brain damage due to lack of oxygen to the higher
brain in many men. Especially over Sean.
Artemis felt something going on and blinked. "Diana!" she
yelled. "Sean!" They both came running. They were at
home. "Something's wrong. Uncle John's not there."
Diana concentrated, she had better sensing skills. "Atlantis isn't
there." They shared a look. They linked like Callia's coven
of teachers had taught them, finding it. "It's on Asgard."
The three kids shared a look then ran to pack. They could find
Thor. He was on Earth.
They went to SHIELD, where he probably was. Nope. No Uncle
Phil either. They concentrated. Diana could do the moving
spell they had been taught for emergencies. They landed in front
of Thor and a lady friend of his. "Uncle Thor, someone sent
Atlantis to Asgard," Sean reported. "We need to get there to help
them. The city might die if not. She's not meant to be
somewhere that magic heavy and we can't feel Uncle John at all."
Thor sensed that way and frowned. "Who would do such?" he
muttered. He kissed his friend on the forehead. "Lady Jane,
these are Buffy and the warrior Hylal's children, now being raised by
their aunt Dawn. This is Artemis, Diana, and Sean."
She smiled and waved. "Hi, kids. I hope they're okay."
"Me as well. Atlantis is ancient beyond even my years," Thor
said. He took them to the Bifrost and up to Asgard that way.
Once there they drew him with them. They were used to the magic
on Asgard, they had been raised with it and using it.
"Why in the mother fucking hell is there *SNOW*!" a pissed off,
shrieking male voice shouted. "We do not have snow like this in
the US or in Canada and Canada is half snow for part of the year!
There isn't even snow like this at the Antarctic Outpost!" A
pause. "YOU'RE THE DAMN GOD, YOU FIX IT!" got yelled even louder.
Sean blinked. "Wow, Rodney's in a mood." He walked them to
the lab. "Welcome to Asgard," he said. Rodney quit huffing
and screaming to stare at him. Sean nodded. "By the way,
this is Thor."
Rodney nodded at him. "Welcome to Atlantis."
"She is a beauteous city that is beyond all thoughts of modern and godly
men," he said, patting a wall. "Well met, Atlantis, and welcome
to our home of Asgard."
"Thank you, God Thor. How did we get here?" the city's AI asked.
"Demons," Artemis said. "I can feel the demonic magic around you, Atlantis." The AI huffed. "Sorry?"
"That explains a lot and why I have a headache," John said, rubbing his
forehead. "Even beyond the screaming fit." He glared at
Rodney. "Rodney, reconfigure her to weaker sunlight and more
snow. It'll be snowing a lot around here." He looked at the
kids. "Where on Asgard are we?" he asked Thor.
He sensed. "On the Lake of Wailing."
John winced. "Great. But hey, not near the giants of any
kind." He was still rubbing his forehead. Diana moved
forward to help him ease it. "Thanks, kiddo." He hugged
her. "Why did you three show up?"
"We are native and it's good to have native guides," Sean quipped. "Like with Teyla and Ronon."
"And hey, no wraith up here," Artemis said with a grin. She was
slightly behind Thor and spotted something. "Thor, are you
injured?" She pushed him into a chair and moved his cape to look
at his shoulder. "Who cut you so?" she demanded, scowling at
him. "They are hopefully in tiny motes of godly anger!" She
summoned a first aid kit and babied it for him.
He smiled slightly at her. "It was nothing, Artemis."
"Bull!" She stared at him. "Warriors have to be healthy or
else they're a danger in battle to others. Even the tiniest
scratch can infect because it could have who knows what on it.
Even Mom got one and she's got, had, super healing." He
smiled. She finished bandaging it, ignoring her brother and sister
huffing. She glared at them finally. "Some of us are
maternal." They quieted down. She taped down the last
corner. "There, Thor. Well tended and clean again so it is
not a danger to Asgard's First Son and greater hero." She adjusted
his cape and blushed, putting back the first aid box.
John stared at her. "You're taking medic classes."
"I'm taking sword sister classes as well," she said dryly. "Auntie agreed."
Thor let out a deep moan. "Artemis, that is dangerous and you would have to go into battle."
She looked at him. "If I should pick a warrior, then it only makes
sense I help him with his duties until I start to bear spawn to carry
on his blood. Then I will fall back to guarding our home and
He smiled but blushed. "That is the woman's way, yes." He
stood up. "Well tended, thank thee." She blushed and
giggled, looking away. He patted her awkwardly on the arm.
"Jonathan, how do you want to solve this?"
"I know not how to solve this," he said in Norse. "Or else I would
have already. Because the amount of bitching we'll hear over this
will not end. Even my brother does not get as much bitching as
this will cause." The kids laughed and nodded.
Xander appeared, looking around. "Atlantis, my cabin is at this
point," he said, putting down a crystal. "Use it as a marker to
start making a map?"
"I can do so, Xander. Thank you. This is a strange realm
that seems to shift and expend or contract as if breathing."
"As the tree wills it," Xander agreed. "It's only the outer lands
that sometimes expand. Sometimes the Corridor of Doom that's
between us and Buffy's former house by that cabin."
Odin appeared, looking around. "What be this?" he demanded.
"This be Atlantis, Father," Thor said, nodding politely at him. "Demons hath moved her here for some reason."
Artemis looked at him. "Apparently they were a pain to the demons
trying bad things." Thor nodded that was probably true.
Odin stared at her. "You are but a mortal girl."
She smirked. "Nay, Odin All Father, we are the daughters and son
of a warrior and a slayer. We are not meager mortals nor are we
'girls'. We are near our majority and our godfather has made sure
we will have proper adult hunts coming up." She stared at
him. "Even if the Gods do curse our mother for being loud when
Daddy Hylal enjoys her." Odin blushed and cleared his throat.
"Most of us enjoy them being happy," Xander said dryly. He patted
her on the back. "Go to each and every single soldier and
scientist to get their name and rank for O'Neill just in case. Get
them to do an inventory of what you have, have science do an inventory
of what they need to make the city ice and snow capable." They
nodded and did that for him.
"She wishes to be a Sword Sister?" Thor asked quietly.
"No, she wishes to learn so her future warrior husband won't have to worry if he must go battle something."
Thor grinned. "It is a pure woman's way." He looked at the
huffy scientists. "We will see which demons did this so perhaps
they can undo it."
Xander shrugged. "Phil's looking into it." John sat down and
looked up, shaking his head. "Yeah, basically." He grinned
then at Odin. "At least nothing will be coming from this lake for
years until we can move this Ancient city back."
"Ancient?" he asked.
"Yes, made by the Ascended Ones," Xander said. "This is *the*
Atlantis, Odin All Father. The One That Sails Through Stars."
Odin gaped, looking at John. "You are Senior here?"
"I'm the head of the soldiers and warriors here," John said. He pointed. "Rodney is the head of the scientists."
"He be your consort?" Odin asked.
"Nay," John said firmly. "We are not suited to each other, Odin
All Father. For I like soft, wiggly things that have breasts and
so does he. No matter how often love gods tried to make that
Odin cleared his throat. "You must tell your people."
"I will," Xander said. "John's in shock, Grandfather. He needs to rest."
Odin nodded. "Transporting realms without your authority can do
that. Next time, use the bridge." He disappeared.
Xander and John shared a look. "Let me tell someone." He
looked at Thor. "Can you help them set up relations with the local
"Aye. What of the Monster?"
Xander shrugged. "Let them play with it?" He
disappeared. He landed in front of Hera. "Mother!" he
shouted. She appeared with a squeak. "Demons have seen fit
to move the city of Atlantis to the Lake of Wailing on Asgard.
Including with John."
Hera burst out laughing. "I needed that giggle, Xander."
He smirked. "Do you think I'm really joking?" She gaped and
searched then burst out swearing. "Yup." He looked at his
mother, who was staring up then growling. "So, let's leave John
alone. He's got a light case of backlash. Buffy's kids are
helping right now. Phil's finding the demons who did it so we know
why and if it can be reversed." He looked at his mother.
"Leave John be, Mom. He's got a migraine." He disappeared
back to earth, appearing in front of a fuming O'Neill. Phil
appeared next to him. "Anything?"
"Atlantis was going to be a major help in an upcoming apocalypse
battle. They wanted it out of the way. They knew it wouldn't
be hurt on Asgard, as they consider her a holy spot and shrine.
They knew that Buffy's kids could help them if necessary like the former
natives in Pegasus did." O'Neill nodded tersely. "Beyond
that, the demons who did it used their whole life force I'm told.
They basically committed suicide to make sure their plan worked.
The apocalypse they're talking about is in about ten months." He
handed Xander the book with the bookmark sticking out.
"They're fine, O'Neill. I checked. They're reconfiguring her
to last through the snow and weaker sunlight. They're on the Lake
"Like hump back?" O'Neill asked.
"No, as in like Nessie who moans a lot," he quipped, reading it over. "Fuck!"
Phil smirked slightly. "Which is why they wanted the city out of harm's way in all meanings of the word."
Xander showed him. "They would've tried to destroy the city anyway."
He read over the translated copy. "How many prophecies of apocalypses are there?"
"That depends on what realm you're on," Xander said. "On Asgard,
there's one for everything. You can sneeze and there's a prophecy
about it." Phil tried not to laugh. "Seriously!
There's one that said I'd get the runs so bad I'd bleed from it."
He brought that book to show Phil. Who did laugh.
"So how reliable is this one about the next bad thing coming?" O'Neill asked.
Xander looked. "First, that's not a bad thing coming." He
pointed. "That word translates into 'warriors of light' in one
version and 'angels' in another. Second, they seem to think so."
O'Neill considered that for a second. "Okay, so are there actually angels?"
Xander shrugged. "There's pantheons that don't speak to the rest of us."
"Wouldn't you *know*?" O'Neill asked.
"No. See, there's two types of pantheons. There's the ones
that create the people they serve and there's ones that are created by
the people they serve. Ones like the Norse, the Greek, the
Egyptian, the Hindu pantheons were there first and then created our
peoples. Which we then merged at a huge meeting way back when to
standardize things for ease of catching power," he said with a hand
wave. "There's ones that're created by the people believing that
strongly. Those ones tend to be persnickety, tend to not want to
associate with our earlier pantheons or the more powerful ones, and tend
to be a bit isolationist. There's a few of the isolationist sort
in the prior ones but that's mostly because they're on the verge of
having no one who remembers them, so therefore are dying out, or they're
jackasses and we told them to go away."
"Would anyone know?" O'Neill asked.
"I can ask some of the Elder Ones." He shrugged. "Thoth, may I have a moment?" he called.
The Egyptian God of Wisdom appeared. "What's happened beyond
Atlantis being displaced?" Xander handed over the book then the
other one. He smiled. "I was going to say, that's happened
already." He patted Xander on the back.
"He wanted to know how many prophecies there were. I was proving a
point." He sent that back home. "It sent up a wailing of
people worried I'd die from it," he told O'Neill.
Thoth shook his head. "I remember that bout of food poisoning but
it was not that severe." He read over the prophecy,
scowling. "Was that not on that box that shows pictures?" he
Phil nodded. "It was. So probably not on this realm?"
"Not unless they've been shoved here," Thoth said, handing the book back
with a sigh. "Thankfully. We're due for another one about
then." Xander and Phil stared at him. He smiled. "Have
we not been listening to the kitten poker circuit, boys?"
"I haven't had time," Xander admitted. "Dawn would've but her spouses made her quit winning them weapons again."
Thoth nodded. "About then we're looking at a plane being desperate
enough to break through to flee their madman in charge. I have no
idea how we'll handle that."
Xander nodded. "Which plane?"
Xander thought and shook his head. "The one with the palm
trees?" Thoth smiled and nodded. "They have a despot or just
someone like that idiot in Rome?"
"More like that idiot in Rome."
"Great!" Xander said snidely. "Let me go end that for them."
"Like debauching children for fun and games then murdering them according to Roman history?" Jack asked.
Thoth nodded. "They have a ceremony for that yearly in the religion he created."
Xander looked up. "I'll go fix it." He smiled at the elder one. "Thanks."
"Welcome, Xander. They say he'd ascend and kill the people."
"I doubt that. I can handle it." Thoth patted him again and
disappeared. He looked at Phil. "We've got to play some
kitten poker tonight in LA."
"Sure." He looked at O'Neill. "They did say the city should be safe."
"Baldr?" Xander called. He appeared, blinking hard at the bright
lights. "How long will it take us to move Atlantis back here by
"It is not possible at this time. We would have to build a carrier for
it to go along the Bifrost, nephew. Though I cannot fathom any
other method unless it is moving it down the levels of the Tree of
Xander considered it then shook his head. "Too much risk of
breaking branches that hold other realms." Baldr nodded that was a
risk. "Okay. Can you get Diama, her head geeks, and a few
others like Hephaestus together so we can figure it out? They need
their soldiers back here."
"I can or make sure that the Bifrost can be used now and then to
transport people back home or things up there. I know for now they
"I'll have Xander bring some supplies up later," Jack O'Neill said. "Thank you, Lord Baldr."
He smiled. "My mini version in space would like you."
"He did a few times. I took that Thor fishing a few times."
Baldr laughed and smiled. "Good!" He went to gather them so they could devise a plan.
Xander looked at Phil. "I'll tell the Director," Phil promised. "And Dawn." He disappeared.
Xander looked at O'Neill. "Give me a few hours. John has backlash."
"Like you did?"
"Less intense. His migraine's going to last for days but not as badly."
"Okay," he agreed. "We'll deal with it however we can. I need to tell the Joint Chief's."
Xander took the book and grinned. "Let me, O'Neill." He
disappeared, going to DC. "Hey, Dad?" he called once he was in the
White House with the new president. He grinned. "Hi, Xander
Harris. God Protectorate of Humanity."
"I've been briefed on you, Xander. Is there a problem?"
"Yup. You'll need a few generals and I need Dad." Loki
appeared. "You still have contacts who have to know." Loki
groaned and sat down. The generals got brought in. "Hey."
One growled. "Harris."
Xander smiled. "I'm doing O'Neill a favor so you can't bite
him. Some demons got hold of this prophecy, which we're
considering slim." He handed over the book. "And moved
Atlantis to Asgard."
His father stared at him. "Excuse me?"
"It's on the Lake of Wails. Odin and Thor both know. Baldr's
gathering creating and tinkering gods plus Diama to see if they can get
it back sooner."
Loki took the book from the general whimpering in misery. He read it. "That can't happen here."
"They committed suicide to make sure the city couldn't interfere in the
battle and could not get the holy site and shrine hurt," Xander
said. "John has a slight case of backlash. I've told Hera
Loki rubbed his forehead, looking at him. He scanned where
Atlantis had been then up on Asgard. "Dear Lord Janus, you aren't
joking," he muttered.
The president looked at him. "You pray to Janus?"
Loki smirked slightly. "We chaos gods all pray to each other when
we need a boost of help. The others generally don't like
us." He handed the book over to him as he looked at his son.
"So this is an announcement that their valued ancient city with
futuristic weapons is on the wrong plane?"
"Which has a faster time zone," Xander said.
The generals looked at each other then at him. "What?" one asked.
"Time runs faster up there," Loki said. "Two weeks to one of your
mortal days." He was getting a migraine. "Is it time for
your powering outburst, son?"
"No, Dad. I had not a thing to do with this. This was a
demonic plan." He grinned. "Though, Buffy's kids are up
there helping. They got your brother up there to help John
too. Which is why Odin showed up."
Loki kept rubbing, wincing some as the migraine started. "How are we getting it back?"
"Baldr's working on it with the creating and tinkering sorts. Get Stark up to that?"
"I think I shall then have a large drink." He stood up. "Let
me tell my contacts so they know not to count on that if something
should happen." He disappeared.
Xander shrugged and grinned. "He's in with the Blandenburg
people. Keeps him out of my hair or nagging for grandkids."
He smiled at the generals. "I have no idea what you need to
do. O'Neill's sending up cold weather supplies tonight through
me. Sheppard's got a migraine from hell, partially from McKay
yelling about being somewhere that is full of snow." He took the
book back with a grin at the president. "We think it's
unlikely. At the same time, there's portents that're showing that a
realm with a despot idiot in charge may have a refugee thing. I'm
going to work on stopping that later and my mate will tell his
"Please," the president agreed, nodding. "Before we think it's a new invasion."
"They have things like kids being sacrificed for fun in his religion
he's made," Xander said. "I'm thinking, I'm a pretty decent
warrior and I can overthrow people. It'll probably be easier than
the last one."
"Sure, please do," the president said with a smile. Xander smirked
back and disappeared. He looked at the generals. "Who has
O'Neill's number?" They pointed at the red phone so he
called. "O'Neill, I need updated information from up there."
"Sir, we have a personnel list, we're starting on an inventory list,"
Jack said, sounding tired. "I was having conniptions about the
city disappearing when I heard and then Xander showed up to tell me why,
with his mate having asked how."
"We need a need list," the head general said. "Today."
"Already working on it, sir, but needless to say it's all going to be
cold gear. Apparently Asgard is fairly snowy. Which I'm sure
McKay must love."
"Just get it to us and ignore the ranting for now. If he gets it
out of his system maybe he'll come up with some improbable machine to
get them back sooner so he doesn't have to snowshoe anywhere," the
"The Lake of Wails has a Nessie-like creature that likes to moan
according to the email I just got," O'Neill said. "So the mystical
email system works again, sirs."
"Great," the president agreed. "Give us an update at 0900 tomorrow, O'Neill."
"Yes, sir." He hung up.
The president looked at his generals. "If time runs faster do we
have to adjust checks?" They nodded they probably did. "Do
we tell their families?" They shared a look then nodded, going to
send people to do that while they talked about things.
The president found the bottles of mead Loki and his consort had left,
pouring a large mug of some of the oldest. It was a great thing to
have on hand for an O'Neill-level headache. He hadn't known why
he had his own classification of headache before but now he was starting
Loki appeared with a smirk but his eyes looked pained. "My son has
said you need in on the tinkering conference about how to get Atlantis
back home. It's on Asgard so grab something warmer than a tank
Dawn stormed in. "Where are the twins?"
Loki looked at her. "My son said they went to help the city
acclimate to the Lake of Wails." Dawn slumped, staring at
him. He nodded. "He's to go to the planning meeting on how
to get them back home." He stared at her. "Do you wish to
"No." She huffed. "I'll send them stuff in a few days.
By then their clothes will be worn out and they'll have grown."
She rubbed her forehead. "I'll help Xander get stuff up
there." She walked off mentally planning how to do things.
Natasha was wondering why she was planning this as they weren't moving
up there. She told her and Natasha stopped in the middle of a
spar, getting hit by Steve. She squeezed her eyes shut and
Clint looked over, nodding. "Yeah, me too. Atlantis is on
Asgard, guys." Steve and Bruce both stared at him then moaned and
shook their heads.
Tony grabbed a shirt and a jacket, letting Loki take him up there.
"Hey," he said as he was let free. "How can I help?"
Hephaestus pointed at a chair. "We're waiting on a few more to get
here. Any idea how this happened?" Phil appeared with the
book and a report. Then he left. "Okay," he said, reading it
and passing it on. The other creating Gods groaned.
Diama appeared in front of Rodney, looking around then at him. "How?" she asked with a point. "You're not a god."
"Demons," he said. "Which does displease me in a way that usually means I blow things up."
Diama patted him on the hand, nodding. "I would too. Come, we'll vent at other Gods. John?"
"Go ahead, Diama. Take Radek too. See if you can get Sam
Carter?" She hugged him and he grinned. "Just a bit of
"You'll be okay." She took her two favorite geeks and the one that
she wanted to smack upside the head up there. She sat down on the
stool that was going to compensate for her smaller height. "I
brought my geeks." She read the report, grimacing. "Idiot
poopy heads." She handed it to Rodney. "Ares said to quit
swearing and so did Hera," she said at the looks she was getting.
"It is uncouth," Rodney agreed, reading it over then the prophecy. "Is it going to happen?"
The older gods all shook their heads. "Probably not," one of the
Celtic creating gods said dryly. "Unless they get shoved over here
from their realm." Rodney groaned. "Where on Asgard are
"The Lake of Wails according to Thor and Xander," Rodney said.
Radek sat down on Diama's other side. "All I know is that suddenly
there was a lot of snow and that it was colder than Canada ever was
when I was there."
Diama patted him on the hand. "You survived outpost. Can do
it again. She's a pretty smart lady and she can make it warmer
once we repair things." She looked at a few of them. "Need
engineers to help him repair things. They're on a magic world
"We need more ZPM but I'd never do that on an inhabited planet or realm," Rodney said.
"You can do it safely," Sam Carter said.
Diama looked at her then smacked her upside the head. "People live
there and ZPM's are dangerous. Be a real scientist for a change
instead of stupid bimbo weapon of destruction." Sam sat down
and slumped. Diama looked up and prayed to Hera for
strength. She looked at the other gods. "Things need to be
built but for right now, not sure if should build village next to the
lake to spare city or not."
"The twins and Sean were raised up there so they're helping us with the
natives," Radek said. "Plus getting a few of the Marines to hunt
down some deer. I know the creature we scanned and found is a bit
friendly. He showed up to nuzzle a few of the Marines. He
even quit wailing about it."
Hephaestus smiled. "It's lonely."
"Maybe we can find some version of the Loch Ness Monster and set them
up," Rodney said dryly, cracking a few up. "Is there any hope of
getting us home in a slightly scientific manner?"
"The only three ways off Asgard are climbing down the Tree of Life,
using the Bifrost bridge, and having a powerful artifact to send you
off," Thor said from his corner. "The Tesseract isn't going to
have enough power to get the city itself down. We can move the
people using the Bifrost but that would leave her up there."
"No, we promised not to abandon her unless we had to," Rodney
said. "Her AI was very lonely in the eons she was under water in
Thor nodded. "That's kind of you and good of you both." He
looked at the creating gods. "Is one a more likely method?"
"The Tree is dangerous. If something's too big it can snap some
support branches. Then again, the Tree is huge," Baldr said.
"It might take years to fly her through that because you'd have to stop
every once in a while as it grows to plot your route." He
shifted. "To use the Bifrost to move the city, we'd have to create
some sort of energy envelope so she'd fit on the bridge first and to
make it so she could use it at all. It's meant for humans, not
"What about those things like Dawn's chamber necklaces?" Tony
offered. "Not exactly but can we build something like that for the
city to land itself in so it can be moved that way?"
"Chamber necklaces?" Hephaestus asked. Diama grinned and created a
picture of them. She loved those things. "I've seen them in
"She has a few that she uses to store weapons for battles in," Tony
said. "It minimizes and hides the weapons in it so no one can
They considered it. "That would be the best way to get it down the
Bifrost," Baldr agreed. "Or else we'd have to build one specially
for the city and it'll take years mortal time. Probably about two
years mortal time."
"One year per lunar month," Tony said, considering it. "That's over two decades for the people up there."
"Such a container could be built within six months," one of the Celtic
builders said. "Putting the magic on it would take longer."
"What if we used an existing structure?" Radek offered. "Something
like a cargo shipping container put together? Does it have to be
metal or wood?"
"Wood would work better but metal isn't forbidden on the Bifrost.
What are cargo shipping containers?" Tony sketched them. "We
could put a few together easily enough," Baldr said, looking at the
gods who would have to do that.
"Aye," one of them said. He was from Roque's people. "They're not hard to expand. Would the Key help us?"
"As long as it didn't endanger her, the child she just had, or her spouses," Tony said.
They blinked. "Why would it matter to her spouses?" that god asked.
"They're linked like Xander and Phil are," Diama said with a
smile. "All telepathicy and stuff." The gods shared a look
then at her. She nodded.
Tony nodded. "According to the book I borrowed from Dawn to look
it up, it's like the mortal version of what Phil and Xander have.
Soul-bound links with telepathic bonds between them."
The god from Roque's people nodded once. "How did Phil and Xander do that?"
"Accident," Tony said.
"It figures. If something like that could be done, we should've
expected Xander to." A few of the others laughed. "So, we
can take something that's already built and put the spells on it?"
"That should take six months at the most," Diama said.
"Probably?" They nodded. "Because that's like six years to
the people on the city."
"We can move the people via the Bifrost, Diama," Baldr said. "That
way they don't have to stay for that if they have families or the
like." She smiled and nodded.
"The Stargate program has dealt with time dilation fields in the past,"
Rodney said. "They're disturbing but we've seen worse. We'll
manage because we always do." Diama beamed and patted him on the
wrist. He smiled back. "We have to find a world to make ZPM
"Use the machines on Talamus."
"Where's that?" Radek asked.
She gave him a confused look. "You don't know where that
is?" He shook his head. "Huh. Key?" Dawn
appeared, blinking at her. "They don't know where Talamus is."
"It's presently closed," she told her. "I can't open it myself,
Diama, and they'd need to get one of the Guardians to open it for
them. Is there something there they need? There's a Guardian
in LA right now. We were going this weekend to introduce
Buffy's kids to her former friends."
"The filling machine is there," she said.
"Oh!" She considered it. "I'll have someone come with
me." Diama smiled and nodded. "Let me get back there.
Pepper's having a fit on someone."
"Why?" Tony asked.
"Told her she was pregnant looking again, boss." She
disappeared. She looked at Pepper. "Tony's at the meeting
with the other creating gods over Atlantis. Diama just had a
question and a request to take to someone in LA."
"Sure," Pepper agreed, staring at her. "You went back in time again."
"They're slightly out of time." She checked to make sure.
Nothing marked by Phil or Xander for her to handle. The her in the
outer room disappeared. She shrugged. "We're good."
Pepper smiled slightly. "The kids are on Asgard though."
"You can get them this weekend." Dawn nodded she could and went to
make that schedule change through Faith. Pepper groaned.
This was going to be nuts.
Xander concentrated and had Baldr and Phil show up to help him, with
Dawn, Clint, and Natasha. They got a long look. "Need the
kids for a few," Dawn said. "We're going to LA tomorrow to talk to
"That's fine," Baldr agreed. "It can only help us." They got
the three cargo containers of things up the Bifrost and then to the
city once it was on the more magic centered areas. Dawn smoothed
out the ride while the gods basically gave it a shove up the
bridge. Baldr smiled. "Going down will be easier."
Xander nodded. "Will," he agreed, wiping off his forehead.
He looked at Phil, then at the trio. "The kids are probably
"I can tell," Dawn said. They found them and Clint got two of the
deer they were stalking. The Marines got the others. The
kids all glared.
He smiled. "C'mon, gotta hit LA for a few weeks."
"There's a time dilation field," one of the Marines said.
Xander nodded. "Two weeks per earth day." They all
groaned. "You're looking at about five or six months earth time
until we can get you back." They nodded, letting the gods help
them get the deer home to be cleaned up and stored for food. The
entrails and other unneeded things got tossed down to their pet lake
monster. Everyone really liked the lake monster. It was nice
and it hummed at them. So much nicer than the wraith or the genii
on the alien life form scale. Phil and Xander gave a report to
the entire staff of what was going on, how it was going to be handled,
and how to send material requests for things they needed.
Dawn got the kids together and took them with her. Clint and
Natasha would be staying to help for a few days. They had some
limited local experience. Xander could help with Phil too.
Dawn opened the hotel room door at the knock, staring at the
vampire. "Enter, Spike. You're named a godparent
anyway." She checked the hall then closed the door to smile at
him. "Guys, this is Spike. I'm sure your mom talked about
him. She used to date him actually."
"A vampire?" Artemis asked. "Wow, mom was kinky." She was
blushing hard but sure, her mom had been wild before she met their dad.
Spike stared. "Damn. Gotta keep the family off 'em."
He stared. Sean was tall, strong looking, and handsome enough to
make his porn habit happy with the thought of him in it. The twins
were gorgeous and too damn young to really turn. In another year
they'd be the perfect age. Dawn swatted him hard on the
"No turning the kids," she said with a smile. "Do you really want
to see Buffy come out of Valhalla to talk about that thought?"
"No," he admitted, shaking his head quickly. "She is?"
"Making the stones sing with Hylal as his dick trophy again," Dawn said
dryly. She sat down, smiling at the fussing baby. "Morning,
Philip. Are you awake again?" She picked him up. "And
this one is mine all mine."
Spike stared, shaking his head. "He's too pretty to be a boy."
"It's being a Summers and spending time on Asgard while you're pregnant," Dawn said with a grin.
"Then explain Sean," Diana teased her brother. Who stuck his tongue out at her.
"He looks almost exactly like your father only he has your mother's natural hair color," Dawn said dryly.
Artemis giggled. "Daddy Hylal used to say it was a fairy blessing on Sean because he was such a little chaos source."
"All kids are," Dawn assured her. "Philip will be when he's
walking." They grinned at her for that. She grinned at
Spike. "So, these are the kids Buffy gave you as godchildren."
He nodded. "I need more weapons while you're local."
"Gotta see a Guardian tomorrow," she quipped.
"Hm." He looked at them then at Dawn. "You're going to make them nuns, right?"
She grinned. "Self defense lessons. Lots and lots of self
defense lessons." The kids laughed and nodded. "They're
going to be on and off Asgard for the next few months due to the stupid
ones moving a holy city up there."
"Heard," Spike grunted, shaking his head quickly. "Screwed so much
locally." She smiled. He looked at them again. "Can I
have one to take Dru's place?"
"No, sorry." She smiled. "Mom would have your balls, Spike."
He nodded quickly. "Yeah, probably."
"And if not, Grandpa Hulk would," Sean quipped.
"Definitely and he might enjoy it too," Spike shot back, earning a
giggle. "S'not fair to taunt me with the beauty and not let me
Dawn smirked evilly. "I'm told I'm an evil dick teasing sith anyway."
Spike nearly choked, but he was nodding. "Yup," he managed to gasp
out. "Damn!" Artemis patted him on the back until he could
quit coughing. He stared at them then at Dawn. "Your
"Goblins with Hylal. He got injured, she heroically fought to his
side to hold him before he passed over and got stabbed. It's
actually part of an epic poem."
"There's more epic poems than there are prophecies on Asgard," Diana
said. "And some just about as good." The others
laughed. "Theirs isn't bad but the bard who wrote it sucked."
"Well then write a better one," Dawn quipped.
"That is not a skill I have," she said. "Or Sean or Artemis. We're good with other things, but not words."
"You sound a lot like your mum," Spike said. He got up to see who
was knocking, because he needed to quit staring at them, letting in
Faith, Gunn, and Connor. "They're Buffy's kids."
Faith stared. "Wow, last time I saw Sean he was about the tiny one's age." She looked at him. "Who're you?"
"My son," Dawn said. "Philip Ivar, this is your Auntie Faith, Uncles Gunn, Connor, and Spike."
Gunn smiled and waved at the baby. "You're damn tiny and the city's in hell today."
"They did it to themselves," Dawn quipped. "Guys, this is Artemis
and Diana, and Sean," she said with a point. "Faith is the slayer
that served with your mom, guys. Gunn and Connor do the local
"Hi," Artemis said with a shy grin and a wave at Faith.
She smiled. "Buffy knocked it outta the park with you three." She looked at each of them. "Self defense?"
"Lots and lots," Diana said dryly with a grin. "Because some people can't count."
"And the rest are icky and offer things like *modeling*," Artemis
complained. "Eww. Wearing bras for regular wear sucks
enough. Doing it to have pictures taken in them is *so* much
"It is," her sister agreed. "Or the hoochy mama clothes as Auntie Pepper called 'em on the runways."
Faith sat down with a smile for the girls. "Could be, yeah.
That and you're not that skinny." She looked at Sean.
"Though you're about old enough to be a pinup."
He shook his head. "I'm only fifteen! No women! Please no women!"
"Some geeks have decided to go Sean hunting until I showed up with a
sword," Dawn told them. The guys all cracked up.
"She has sex plants and kept trying to make me feed them," Sean
complained, grimacing. "Plus she made me watch pageant stuff with
kids. Auntie Dawn nearly took her head off for me." He
grinned. "She hides now but she still likes to pop out to talk to
"We'll stab her for you, Sean," Diana and Artemis said in unison. He grinned at that offer.
"They're going to be on and off Asgard for a while."
Faith nodded. "That's cool. We heard what happened and had a
long cackle about it." Philip made grunting noises. "What's
wrong with him?"
"We can bottle feed him," Artemis said with a smile and a reach for the baby.
"I haven't expressed," Dawn said. "He has to do it the natural
way." She pouted. "Sorry!" She smiled at them. "Get to
know your mom's almost relatives. It'll take me a few minutes,
guys." They nodded and she went to the bedroom.
Artemis sighed. "Some year I want a few of those."
Diana shook her head. "You can have all mine too."
Sean grinned. "I'm just glad that the mpreg machines were finally
fully broken before someone got ideas about me having some." The
girls both swatted him.
"Heard about those," Gunn admitted, blushing some. "Damn kinky of the Ancients."
Diana shrugged. "Uncle John said to them it was like eating
breakfast, something that you did mechanically because it was
"Which means they forgot why they live," Connor said, sitting down. "How old are you two?"
"Fourteen," the girls said with a grin. "We were mostly raised on Asgard."
"I was raised on a demon plane. I know how that goes," Connor
said. "It's confusing when you come back here. We didn't
have cars or computers or automatic weapons."
"We had bows and swords," Diana told him with a grin. "We're
pretty good with both and Uncle Clint's refining our bow work."
Connor smiled. "I had clubs and a few crossbows." They settled in to talk about weapons.
Faith smiled at Sean. "You like weapons?"
"I love learning weapons but they're still trying to make me a warrior
geek." She grinned. "I'm training with Ronon on the city."
"That's good, kiddo." Dawn came out. "Missed a step," she said.
Dawn looked at herself then went to change shirts since that one had
milk on it. She came out shaking her head. "Sorry, sprung a
leak." She sat down and smiled at Gunn. "We got told why
they did it."
"I heard. We laughed so hard," Gunn admitted. She handed
over something. He read it and winced. "From...."
"Xander." She grinned.
"He's working on it. He'll be local for a bit."
"Maybe it'll calm some people down," he decided, handing it to Faith. Who groaned. "How's things in New York?"
"Good. Things are usually good. The baby's healthy. I
still adore my job. My husband thinks I'm a dick teasing
sith." She grinned a bit evilly. They cackled back.
"My wife keeps wanting more weapons sometimes." Faith cackled and
nodded. "I had to get them t-shirts with their ages on them so
people would quit getting so grabby."
"Might be a good idea to have extra weapons," Faith said, looking at
them. They all blushed. She grinned back. "We'll make
sure you're all protected while you're here and you don't have your
"Please," Dawn agreed. The others groaned but it'd be okay and they were like extended family in a lot of ways.
Dawn walked up to the Guardian who was in the kitten poker hall. "Guardian, may I have a moment?"
He looked at her, blinking a few times. "Key?"
She smiled. "That too. Also known as Dawn Summers-Romanoff-Barton."
He moaned. "I've seen that. What's wrong?" He went back to his hand of kitten poker.
"I'm here to ask you for Dr. McKay on Diama's request." He put
down his cards and walked her off. "She wanted them go to
Talamus? Something about the ZPM machines there? They'll
need them to keep heat on Atlantis while it's on Asgard."
She smiled. "Buffy's kids are helping since they're almost native up there."
He groaned. "I've seen them too. Damn!"
Dawn smirked. "Kinda."
"So they need the machines?"
"They'd like to see more but they need the ZPM making stuff.
However that works. I help herd geeks and fuss over them, I'm not
one of them."
"Good. You'd be scary like that."
"I'm scary for other reasons."
"Yeah, I can see that." She held up a page from her journal. He read it and looked at her. "That was you?"
"They pissed me off by trying to take me again."
"Wow." He stared at her. "Huh. They want to open an investigation on that, you know that right?"
"Yup, and I know that they still tried to take my beautiful ass so I fought back. I already talked to that judge."
"Good idea." He scratched his horn. "I can see if the others
will allow them to. What does Diama have to do with it?"
"Rodney and his second-in-command Radek are two of her high priests without being anointed. She *adores* Atlantis."
The demon scrunched his nose up. "I was hoping you were talking
about the singer in the demon networks." Dawn shook her head with a
"Yup. Which is why they sent me to ask since I was out here
anyway. Had to introduce Spike and the team out here to Buffy's
"Huh." He nodded. "I'll talk to them tonight."
"We'll be going home tomorrow morning but I'm in New York." She handed over her card with a grin. "Let me know?"
"I can do that." She walked off. "You might want to talk to the other judges."
"I planned on it later." She smirked and drove herself to their
building, walking inside. She went into the hearing room and
stared at the gathered judges. "Did you expect me not to protect
"Who are you?" he asked.
"Sister of the Slayer Buffy," one said. She nodded. "Why do you come before us?"
"You wanted to talk about some people I destroyed for trying to kidnap me when I was fifteen."
The third judge looked at the others. "I already know but had not
spread that knowledge. Do you have proof they wanted you?"
She took off her necklace and opened the chamber, pulling out two things
and putting them on the table. She closed her necklace and
changed them back from crystal eggs to demons. "You tell them why
you wanted me."
"She's the Key and we were going to sacrifice her to bring back our
Saint!" one said, rushing at her. Dawn backhanded him and stepped
on his throat until he passed out.
The other cowered and looked at the judges. "Save us?" he begged.
"Then you shouldn't have taken me," Dawn quipped. "I have the right of self defense."
"You do," the third judge agreed. "Can you let him up?" Dawn
got off that demon. They talked and looked at her.
"Technically, being the Key is a death sentence in demon courts," he
Dawn smiled. "Watch me decreate the demon courts. I have no
war with you. I want no war with you. I'm living a human
life as a normal witch with a new son." They groaned. "And
raising my sister's orphaned kids. That death sentence was started
by one of the monks that wanted to kill me so I couldn't fall into
Glory's hands. Which I didn't. Or at the battle in
Sunnydale." They all jumped. She smiled. "Yeah, was me
in the chainmail."
"Which grants you a boon from the courts, including having that death sentence removed."
"On what grounds did you grant it?" Dawn asked.
"You're dangerous," one said.
"If you make me be, yes. Anyone can say that though. If you
leave me alone I have no quarrel with any of you." They
stared. She smiled. "I've never had a quarrel with any of
you. I've played kitten poker for years. I've shopped in
demon stores. I helped my sister eliminate some of the bad ones,
and then my boss later on. I've never had a quarrel with the
majority of demon kind. Nor will I unless you make me have one."
They talked about it and nodded. "It was odd that a human used us
that way. The death sentence is removed and we should banish you
from the demon areas."
Dawn smirked. "Then a few should probably pay me what they owe
me." She gave one demon in the group watching a pointed look. "My
spouse wants something new to play with."
"I don't owe you that much."
"Unless you pay me before next week, yes. After next week, the
value goes up." The crowd groaned. "I made a chart,
yes." She looked at them and smiled again. "I'm using it for
my one gambling debt. I lost a single hand and he changed the
currency on the table on purpose."
"They do that," one of the judges said smugly.
Dawn nodded. "Then again, I'm the only one who can make the potion
that would make their people randomly fertile." The entire
audience gasped and moaned. "I might offer that instead."
The judges laughed. "Fine, we remove all obligations from you over
this incident and any other time you've had to truly defend yourself."
"Which was about weekly there for a bit," she reminded him. They
nodded they knew. "Thanks." She smiled and turned, finding
that one there. "I can pay you what you cheated to try to win, or I
can pay you with the potion."
He stared at her. "That potion is dangerous."
"I'm a dangerous woman when I need to be. Though it did amuse Phil and Tara a lot."
He considered it. "It'd have to be checked." Dawn pulled it
out to let him sniff it. It sent him into heat. "That is
it. I will take that instead, human."
She patted him on the arm. "Summers, not human. I have a name."
He blinked. "Related to the slayer?" Dawn smiled and
nodded. He wailed. "No! That means you're *her*!"
"Usually," she said dryly. "Prophecy, new wanter?"
"You must have children! It will keep you from destroying everyone."
She pulled out a picture. "You mean like my son? Or like my
sister's children I'm raising?" she asked, showing that picture.
"Thank the Dark Goddess," he sighed. He took the potion and
disappeared to spread that. Cheating the humans in the poker
circuit was always risky and he had just been reminded of that.
Dawn smirked at the judges, who were shuddering. She pulled out
the larger bottles and put the jugs from water coolers on their
table. "For them." She strolled out. Someone came at
her with a knife so she kicked him back and snapped his knife-hand
off. She looked at the knife then tossed it into a plant, which
withered and died. "I create better poisons than that, dude.
Thanks anyway for the sample offer." She smiled and walked
off. The demon sobbed on the floor because he had failed.
She'd find out who he had been later.
The judges got him brought in since they had witnessed the attack. They'd warn the human Key later. Probably.
Dawn brought the kids back to Atlantis with the help of Phil. She
stared at them. "I'll be back up this weekend, earth time.
So every six days expect to be kidnaped unless there's a problem."
Sean nodded, hugging Ronon then John. "Sure, Auntie. It'll let us bring home letters and things."
"The mystical email system is working," John said with a grin. "We
can probably do it mostly by ourselves, Dawn. I've been up here
plenty of times."
"We need our adulthood hunts anyway," Artemis said quietly. Diana
hugged Dawn then ran off to talk to Teyla since she had spotted
her. The others left them alone. "Auntie, I...." She
huffed. "I don't feel comfortable on earth. There's all
sorts of things I don't understand and most of the time I don't want
to. I love Diana and she loves it down there but...."
Dawn hugged her. "We'll work it out. You know that."
Artemis swallowed and nodded. "Maybe if I find a spouse who travels back and forth like Father used to."
Dawn kissed her on the cheek. "We'll handle it." Artemis
smiled. "Now, for the next about three months local time....
Behave. Don't do anything that John would have to tell me
about." She nodded. "Email if you need something like you
hit a growth spurt or you're out of tampons."
"I can do that," she said with a shy grin. She looked
around. "I need to work on a few things anyway to be worthy of a
"You should just to keep the boys off your ass."
Artemis smiled. "I'll go to my marriage bed a virgin."
"Sweetie, there's ways around that," she said dryly. "We'll talk
about that stuff when I pick you three up in six days earth time."
They nodded. She smiled at Clint and Natasha since they were
"Hi," Clint said, grinning some. "We had a lot of fun setting up trade missions and the bilgesnipe are *ugly*."
She smiled. "They are from what I've heard." She took
kisses. "Behave, be good girls and boy," she told Artemis.
"Yes, Auntie." She spotted Thor and blushed, ducking her head.
"We'll get you real weapons the next time," Dawn assured her. She
looked at Thor. "Tell me if the kids have problems, Thor?"
"Of course. They'll be fine. They're used to being up
here." He walked off with Sean and Ronon. Artemis looked
around then slunk off after them, her cheeks hotly pink.
Natasha smiled. "Young love is adorable," she said quietly.
"It is, yeah." Dawn took them home and Clint stretched up then out
before grabbing her to kiss. "Hi to you too," she said, smiling
"Gumming on Chris until I pick him up in the morning. Beya's
having fun with him." She took another kiss. "Though we
should pick him up."
"We should," Clint agreed. Natasha laughed but left to get the
baby. "I guess that means I get to make good on our coin
flip. Nat's on the rag," he said in her ear, making her
moan. "So that means it's just you and me tonight, Dawn."
She kissed him. "I could like that." Someone rang the bell
for the elevator and they groaned. They went down together.
Dawn looked at the demon. "I already paid off the single debt I
owed," she said bluntly.
The demon nodded. "They wish to pay you for the rest,
Summers." He handed over an envelope. "The value of our
money has went up but that is precious."
"It's just a sludged up twinkie and some herbs," she said. "Mixed
with ginger ale." The demon groaned. She looked in
there. It was ridiculously lowball. "This is in which
"Our local one. Which went up today," he sighed. "If you had been local."
"I've been around." He slumped but nodded. She considered it. "What's the exchange rate today?"
"I have no idea."
Dawn called the local demon bank to ask them. She hung up.
"I'd end up owing you guys about a grand. No, sorry. I'll
draw up a new one tomorrow for that." He nodded and left.
She looked at Clint. "I made them their version of viagra."
"Huh." He took her upstairs. "It has twinkies in it?"
"Yeah. No idea why."
He smiled. "Get naked. You had a poker debt?"
"Yeah. He changed the currency on the table too." Clint
stared at her. "I haven't played since. It's been six
"Fine. Get naked?"
"I can do that." She slowly stripped off for him. "We have to go through those storage areas anyway."
"We can do that tomorrow since you'll need to be in my lap." He
watched her skin appear, touching one bruise. "From?"
"I accidentally walked in on a vampire chewing a hole so he could fuck
it," she said. "He attacked so I staked him. The girl was
sobbing but I got her to the ER with the locals. They wanted to
know how I knew what to do so I told them I had worked with a slayer now
and then." She shrugged. "He kicked me."
Clint stroked over it. "That's a good reason. The girl okay?"
"Traumatized. I'd expect that though." She shrugged and took
off her panties, standing there naked in front of him. "Your
turn?" she asked, moving closer to kiss him.
He grinned, pulling off his shirts and then dropping his pants.
"Sean's right. Underwear's inconvenient when you don't have access
to a washer and dryer." Dawn smiled and ran her palm over his
cock, making him moan. "Won't save you from an epic ride that will
make you beg for mercy."
She smiled. "It had better not." Natasha came back up with the baby. "The demon still hanging around?"
"No, I sent him off. He was moaning to someone on his cellphone. What did you make?"
"It has twinkies in it," Clint told her.
"At least there is some use for them beyond Xander's enjoyment of them,"
she said dryly. "See, it's the mother and father, Philip.
You can quit fussing at me for not being either." Philip whined so
she turned him back around to look at him. "Did you need
something?" He snuggled into her shoulder and sucked his
thumb. She smiled. "Fine, you're comfortable."
"I think his carrier's getting a bit small," Dawn said. She took a
kiss with a grin. "Do I have Clint all to myself?"
"Unfortunately so. The baby and I will bathe and then I will come
watch when he has you so hot you are begging for relief." She took
a better kiss, taking the baby to the bathroom with her. He loved
his baths. He squealed and kicked and smiled about them.
She liked to soak so it'd be good.
Dawn looked at Clint. "I have to beg for relief?"
"Or mercy, whichever you like." He took another kiss.
"Though, I'm not really in the mood for mercy." He pulled her
against his chest. "My arrow, your target, some land grabbing
invasion tactics...." She giggled and nipped his lip then strolled
toward the bedroom. "That's pretty. Spread out for me,
Dawn. Daddy's home."
She smiled. "Daddy needs to hurry up then before I do it
myself." She licked a finger and ran it over her throat.
Clint smirked and pounced, taking her to the bed to invade her until she
begged for NATO intervention and mercy. By then, Natasha and the
baby were asleep in the tub together and no one was going to save Dawn.
Tony watched as Dawn limped in the next morning. "You have a
wilder life than I've ever had," he complained. She hugged him and
fell asleep on him. He looked at her. "Pepper, Dawn walked
up and hugged me then napped on me like the kids." He looked at
her stomach. "Hi, Philip." The baby cooed and gummed his
fingers. "Pepper?" She came out to pull Dawn off him.
"I have no idea what they did."
Natasha and Clint came off the elevator. "I will take the baby," Natasha said.
Clint grinned at Tony. "We played war games last night."
"He likes to be an invading army," Natasha said dryly but smirking at
Clint's back. "Unfortunately Dawn has not slept yet." Tony
whimpered, walking off shaking his head.
Pepper was smiling. "Invasion scenarios can be fun, especially if you capture the princess for interrogation."
Clint smirked at her. "Exactly. Sorry, Pepper. Forgot she had to work today."
"She doesn't have to until tomorrow. She took today off in case it
ran long last night on Asgard." Clint beamed and carried Dawn
off. "Use one of the suites, before some nosy reporter catches you
carrying her, Clint."
"Yup, I can do that."
Natasha sighed, shaking her head. "I cannot help them at this time."
"Yeah, I had that feeling the other night when Tony cackled like he had
went evil and pounced." She patted her on the arm. "Have fun
Natasha smirked. "There are many fun things to do with them.
Though Philip and I had a long soak last night. He enjoyed it
immensely." She walked off talking to him. "Let me get us
breakfast. I know neither of your other parents have eaten
yet." He squealed and kicked her a few times, beaming at
her. She smiled back. "It's good you like breakfast."
She went into the cafeteria. The worker in there stared at Philip
then at her. "Dawn did not sleep last night."
"I had a few nights like that with my husband. She's got two, I'd
expect more of them." She gave her a pointed look.
"Breakfast or lunch, Agent Romanoff?"
"Breakfast please." She got her three trays to go and let her pay for it with Dawn's ID card before leaving.
Steve and Bucky had been at a corner table. Bucky shook his head. "I never would've expected her to be maternal."
Steve grinned. "She's a great second mother to Philip. All
the kids like her because she's calm. She talks to them when they
fuss instead of fussing back or panicking like Tony used to." He
sipped his juice then dug into his eggs. "They're a good
trio. They're happy, have very few fights, and they can back each
other up when necessary."
"That's good. It's good she's got them in her life and she's
happy." He dug into his own eggs. He heard crying and looked
up then at Steve, who was wiping his mouth. "Why are we all
"He's directing it at the table. Not everyone else can." He
grinned. "Let me go sooth that melt down if Tony isn't. Meet
you in a few, Bucky."
"Sure, Steve." He finished breakfast, letting him go calm down the little genius.
Steve walked off the elevator and picked her up to look at her. "What's wrong, Callia?"
"I can't do this!" she shouted. "It's wrong and I can't correct
things and I can't spell and it's just *wrong*! We have computers
to make up for this wrongness!"
He blinked a few times. "People have handwritten things for centuries. It's not wrong. You started out writing."
"Then I learned how to type and it's the bestest ever!" She kicked
and wiggled until he put her down. "You're mean and you're
torturing me! I hate you!" She ran off.
He sighed, watching her go. The cats and dog were all staring at
him. He shrugged. "She's just frustrated. Go comfort
her, guys." A few of the cats and the dog ran to comfort their
human. He sat down, waiting on her to calm down. Tony came
off the elevator. "She had a moment."
"I heard. I was in the bathroom or I would've been up here sooner. What was she talking about?"
"She complained she's falling behind on her homework because she
couldn't use her computers. I pointed out she could hand write
things like reports."
"Ah." He went to talk to her. She was curled up in a corner
with the cats helping her calm down. He sat down across from her,
letting her sniffle and hug him. "I know it's frustrating."
"I hand write a lot of stuff." She looked at him. "Everyone does."
"No you don't. You write it on the screen."
He considered that. "Maybe." He stared at her. "Tell
me exactly what the problem was this morning that made you flip out?"
She summoned her report and handed it to him. "It's all messed up
and it won't come out right. I can't think like this, Daddy!"
He read it over. "What would you do if your report was going wrong before?"
"I'd change paragraphs around by dragging and dropping them in new
places so I didn't have to rewrite most of it then make them make sense
there. Then I'd add in more stuff." She sniffled, hugging
the Dawn kitty.
"What you're doing right now is called a draft. It's like a
prototype of your paper," he said calmly. "Then you use it to fix
what's wrong and reorganize. Sometimes you do a few drafts."
She whimpered. He smiled. "You do it when you're on the
computer but you don't do more than save it before you fix it.
Handwriting them means that you have do some copying and pasting the old
"It's wrong and should be abolished."
"Uh-huh," he said dryly, staring at her. "Most kids have to do
their papers this way because they don't always have computers or
tablets to do papers on."
"We should donate."
"We do to the schools. They still don't have them at home."
She slumped down more, curling around her cats. He patted her on
the foot. "You have to learn this lesson because it's important
but you're also being punished and punishment shouldn't be fun.
When I was in school, we didn't have computers to type papers on.
All of them were by typewriter. Which meant the same amount of
"They had computers back then."
"They took up rooms the size of the kitchen. They weren't for
papers. They were for math things and NASA things. Not for
papers. I typed six drafts of my first dissertation. It went
from over four hundred pages to about eighty." She whimpered and
curled up in a tinier ball. The cats all tried to calm her
down. He smiled slightly. "You're incredibly privileged and a
bit spoiled by all the computer access you do get, daughter.
You've taken that for granted."
"I'm not a brat," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.
"No, you're not. Who told you that you were?"
"I'll yell at him later. Today, you will do the next draft of this
paper and the others you have waiting. You're going to apologize
to Steve because you were really unfair to him just now." She
pulled the cats closer as a shield. "Then you'll finish up the
rest of the homework you've been avoiding."
"Can I at least have my laptop back for that?" she begged. "I won't get online or anything, Daddy."
"You can type your final version of your report. You're going to
handwrite the rest." She let out another tiny whimper. "If
you asked Steve, he'd teach you how to organize them better. He
did good at that where I always sucked and slapped things together then
moved them around." He stared at her. "There's ways of
organizing things so you don't have to do as many rewrites." She
uncurled a bit. "Now, go apologize and ask him to teach you
that." She stared at him. "I mean it."
"Can't I not?"
"No. You're going to learn how to do it better than I ever did."
She looked at the cats, smiling when Clint lapped her nose. "Thank you, Clint kitty," she said quietly.
Tony stood up. "You have seven papers due by the end of the
month. You know that, right?" She winced. "Yeah, so
you'd probably better do that today and learn that secret today."
She wiggled her way free and went to apologize to Steve after climbing
in his lap to hug him. She asked what her father was talking
about. Tony put down some treats for the cats and went out.
"That organizing thing you're supposed to do as a first draft, Steve."
"You never did paper outlines?" he asked.
"No, I slapped things together and then shifted them to fit me."
"Huh. And you got how many degrees?"
"I usually had to cut down papers to human levels," he said dryly.
"Once she had a good prototype draft, she can use her laptop to type
"Okay." He sat her on her feet and leaned over to grab some paper
and a pencil. "The first draft of any paper should be an
outline. That's like a framework. It lays out how you do
things, in what order they're going in the paper, how many rebuttals or
arguments you have." She stared at him. "Like for a history
paper, since I know you have one due. You start here with your
heading. Your topic. Then you indent and you move to your
main thesis point, what your paper's about." She nodded
slowly. "List your information blocks." He did that as
'information block one' and 'items inside information block 1' then
moved on. "Then you have a closing." He handed it to
her. "That's called an outline."
She stared at it. "So this is what I'm writing about," she said
with a point. "My paragraphs and what they contain?" He
nodded. "What if I want to shift it?"
"Then shift your outline." He stared at her. "Remember when
we did the concrete planter and we made a form for it to pour the
concrete into?" She nodded. "That's the form for a paper."
"Oh." She stared at it. She worked on her history paper
since that's what they were using as an example. "Like that?"
He looked it over. "That should probably be here," he said with a
new point. "So what you do, since this is a draft, you draw an
arrow to remind yourself." He did that. "The same as this
goes under Napoleon since he did it, not Caesar."
She looked it over and did that then looked at him. He
nodded. She huffed. "That's so much easier! Why didn't
anyone tell me this?"
"Apparently your dad never used the easy way."
"No, probably not." She stood up. "I'm sorry."
"I know you were just frustrated." He hugged her. "You have
seven papers. Do outlines on them, bring them to us to check over,
then work on your first draft, which will be you writing out the paper
based on the outline." She nodded and went to find her books to do
that. He got up. "We're going to be sparring. Bring
them to us."
"Yes, Stepmommy Steve." He smiled and went to the sparring
area. She huffed and looked at her pets. "Handwriting papers
still sucks." They let her pet them and then helped her write her
outlines. That was easier and it'd mean less redoing
things. Her papers were messes of crossed out things and arrows
moving things. She saw now she was trying to do this outline
thingy but had been writing it fully.
Dawn and Clint came in after lunch with Callia following them, and all
the cats and the dog. Bucky blinked. "You have cats and a
"And a rabbit named Carrot," she said with a grin for him. "Stepmommy?" He looked down. "Like this?"
He looked them over, taking her pencil to correct a few things, like
spelling because she was horrible at it, and rearrange things.
"That should be your topic paragraph, not an argument one."
"That screws up the whole thing," she whined.
He stared down at her. "Really?" She slumped, taking it
back. "If you use that as your topic, then that covers that
argument and the others." She nodded, moving to the corner to go
over it again. Bruce got her some paper to work on. "Now,
write out the full thing to see how it flows." She let out a tiny
whimper. "If it's in a good format, you can type it. Your
dad said so."
"This writing stuff still sucks," she muttered.
He looked at her. "And you're doing another spelling section because you need it."
"I already am but that's on the computer."
"We can make you flash cards and work up spelling tests," Clint said. "That's how we did it, Callia."
Dawn nodded. "Sunnydale was still doing it that way when it collapsed a few years ago."
"It was probably because of the retarded demons," she complained.
"Mouth," Dawn ordered.
Callia grimaced. "Fine."
"Thank you." She kissed her on the head. "Some day you'll grow out of all this and turn into me and Pepper."
She looked at him. "I'm Daddy's clone, not yours, Auntie Dawn."
She grinned. "I meant mouthy, not on the job stuff."
"Oh." She nodded. "Probably." She looked. "Oops,
gotta take the Xander dog out." She hopped up and took him to the
elevator so they could go down to the outside area. One of the
guards got summoned by JARVIS, and brought her his leash.
"Stepmom?" Bucky asked Steve with a grin.
Steve smiled back. "When we first got together, she had to figure
out that whole new relationship thing and she knew what a stepmom was."
"Awww." Steve swatted him.
Callia came back with the dog. "Daddy, my doggy has the runs really badly."
"Your aunt knows where the vet is. You two can take him together later."
"Okay." She looked at her aunt. "Why do I have to do so much homework?"
"Because it makes you smart enough to run the company some day."
"Can't I just be a bimbo?"
"No. Sorry. You need to have more intelligence than your bra
cup size. Your brains are more than your butt can push out.
Therefore you have to do homework."
"But it's *hard*!" she complained.
"Well, duh," she said, staring down at her. "If it wasn't it wouldn't make you smarter."
"You're mean today."
She smiled. "Yup, because I'm not a bimbo and I did very good in
school, which was very hard. Unless you're going to end up one of
those sluts on E! you have homework you said you'd get done by the end
of the month." She heard Bucky ask Steve if she was always that
hard on the baby. She looked over. "Yup. Because she's
having a whiny day. Her dad has those when the machines hate
him." She looked down at her. "What makes you think doing
things the easy way is going to help you?"
"Real people don't need to do this," she said.
Dawn laughed. "Bullshit." Callia whined. "I did that
many papers a *week* in high school, Callia. And mine wasn't all
that academically tough. We had future strippers going
there. They could do it and you know most of them don't need to
know anything about computers beyond how to do their email."
She bit her lip. "I wanted to go to the park and there's going to be rain all week."
"Then let's negotiate."
"That's where you make a bargain." She squatted down to look at
her. "It's how you make trades to get what you want while giving
someone else what they want. It's the basics of any contract or
"Do real people need to do that?"
"Yup, every day. You haggle sometimes for food, you negotiate over
your apartment when you get one. You do it all sorts of
ways. Even hypothetically when you're swearing at traffic and
promise the Goddess you'll do better with your temper if she'd just
clear up the traffic so you can get wherever you're going."
Callia bit her lip then let it go. "So I can trade off today's park time for later homework?"
"You'd have to give us more than that since they're due in like three
weeks. You made a promise to do those classes in that amount of
time. Which is an agreement and a negotiation."
"Oh!" She blinked. "I suck at it then."
"You can't suck at something you're still learning," Clint said.
Callia considered it. "I'll get time in the park today for all my
papers being done on time?" Dawn shook her head. "But...."
Dawn held up a hand. "You have to get it in on time. That's
what a deadline means. And in education, a deadline usually means
"I don't want that," she huffed. "But it's pretty today."
"Yeah, it is. It'll be pretty next week too. So what're you going to give me in exchange for a day off in the park?"
She considered it. "There's that shelter thingy that Tara's going
to. I can go with her. It's handing out things like clothes
and toys, right?"
"Yes, although you know that means you don't get any of them, right?"
She nodded. "And I can pull out the donation fund from my allowance to add to it."
Dawn nodded, looking at Tony, who nodded. "That's a good agreement. How much is your donation fund?"
"JARVIS?" she asked.
"You should always know how much is in your accounts," Tony said dryly.
"I believe she has almost a thousand dollars in her piggy bank and she set aside a third of it for donations, sir," the AI said.
"Then you have to donate one hundred dollars," Dawn said. "And go
with your Aunt Tara to that charity hand-out. In return, you get
to spend today in the park until dinner time. Then you're to come
back and do your homework after dinner until bedtime, outside the time
that you need to spend taking care of your animals."
Callia nodded. "I can do that."
"I'd like her to type up that one report that she's got done so she
doesn't have so much hanging," Tony said, looking at her. "Which
should take you less than an hour."
She blinked. "I ...." She looked at Dawn.
"That would be a three-party agreement instead of a two-party agreement."
She nodded. "I can do that. My history one?"
"The one that Steve said you got a good draft on. Type it from that, Callia."
"I can do that." She went to her corner and pulled up a virtual keyboard, typing her best.
Bucky blinked. "Wow she's fast."
Dawn stood up. "She's doing middle school level work," she said
quietly. "She's also having an emo day. Pushing her a bit
means that she learns new things and breaks her out of her pouty mood."
"I get that. Why is she doing that high?"
"She takes three classes at a time and goes through them mostly at her
pace. This time we introduced a deadline to it. Mostly
because they have to be in to the school board by then for this
"I can understand that." She finished up, ran the spell and
grammar checker. "Grammar checkers often make mistakes," he told
her. "You should be able to proofread. Steve could."
"You knew Stepmommy when he was little and in school?" Callia asked him.
He nodded. "I grew up with the little guy. He never gave up any sort of fight, even if it was hard."
She looked at Steve then at her father. "I'll get there some day I
guess. Sometimes I overestimate how hard something is."
"So did he. He got into a lot of fights that way."
"Now that's called assault," she said bluntly. "And it's always
wrong." She finished checking it over and printed it, presenting
it to her father. He read it over, taking her pencil to circle a
few things. She whined. He gave her a pointed look.
She fixed the mistakes and handed it over. He nodded. "Can
you come to the park with me?"
"I can do that. I negotiated my schedule clear for the last two days," he quipped with a grin at Dawn.
"She needed to learn how to do it anyway. The Pentagon geeks wanted her at the next meeting, boss."
He shook his head. "She's not ready to meet the asshole patrol
yet." He walked her out. "Want your bike, your roller
blades, or just playground time?"
She blinked up at him. "Can we just put them in the car and I switch when I want to?"
"No. Not if we're not taking a Security SUV. Though we might have to if you want your bike."
"I'll bring my roller blades for after the park and you bring yours?"
"We can do that." They left together.
Dawn grinned at Steve, who smiled back. "How are we going to start
doing the college level work that she's doing in a few classes?"
"More like this." He shrugged. "She'll eventually quit
thinking things are hard and consider them challenging instead. I
had a few of those until my mother reminded me what a good education did
for boys." He got up. "Change, Summers. It's your
day. You called off last time."
"Yup." She went to change and came out in her unitard. She
popped her neck and stretched a bit. "Who'm I beating up this
"Me and Bucky against you three," Steve said, looking at Bucky.
"Sure, why not." He got down to his undershirt. Natasha and
Clint didn't change but Clint stretched a bit. "Sore?" he asked.
He grinned. "Tiny bit. Did some pushups late last night." Dawn blushed. "But they were good for me."
"Yes they were," Dawn quipped back. She looked at her mates, who
nodded at her strategy. Bucky would expect Natasha to be good,
Clint to be pretty good, and didn't know her yet. They looked
Steve. "Whenever you two are ready." Bucky lunged at her and
she kicked him then flipped out of the way and let Natasha move past
her to get Steve. Clint got the edges to help them both while Dawn
... She showed her ass a bit. Bucky yelped the first time
he hit the mat but he learned. He didn't underestimate her again.
"She had to teach you that," he moaned when she used Natasha's flip to get him back down a few minutes later. "Ow."
Dawn grinned. "We pretty, efficient, wanted things have to be able to handle ourselves. Tired and giving in yet?"
"Nope." He got up and rushed at Clint, who blocked his blow and
fought him off. Dawn got Steve in the back and made him stumble,
which gave Natasha an edge. Then she timed it and kicked at where
Bucky should be, getting him mostly and a bit of Clint's knee but he
used it and Dawn ganged up on him. Bucky wasn't holding back and
he was sweating. So were they. Bucky eventually fell and
moaned. He looked up at them, shaking his head at them
kissing. "You guys are mushy." He got up. Natasha
knocked him back down with an evil smirk and took her own kiss.
"Damn, I could watch some of that." Dawn kicked him on the
leg as she walked past him, looking smug.
Steve shook his head. "Dawn's taken lessons for years because people keep trying to kidnap her."
"Yes they do," Dawn said. She shot something and the demon ran out
screaming. "I don't want to go missing today, thank you
anyway." She smiled and waved at the demon. Clint got it to
kill it since she had the wrong ammo on her. "Thanks, dear."
"Welcome, Dawn. Any idea what he wanted this time?" She tossed out what he had been carrying.
Natasha picked up the note and the tiara. "That idiot dictator, Dawn."
She came out in her normal clothes. "Which one? That's not
real descriptive, dear. We've have four since we met."
Natasha considered it. "Five."
"Which one am I missing?" Dawn asked.
"The one in Thailand from that rebel group," Clint said. "We didn't tell you because we knew you'd go blow him away."
"Well, yeah. I'm not going to lead a rebellion unless it's against
people who want to conscript people like me. Then I'll lead the
rebels until all the family is safely out of the way."
"I think Phil would be Xander's second for that so you'd have to be the
underground railroad sort," Steve said dryly. "What idiot
dictator?" Natasha handed over the note. "We just got
briefed on him. Why does he want you, Dawn?"
She shrugged. "No clue. Is he interested in magic, demons,
wants me because I'm pretty and efficient as an assistant, or because of
my other skills?"
Steve blinked. "Hadn't asked since it wasn't in there." He
texted Coulson, who sent back why. "Oh, you'd be a good VP for him
with your skills, a hidden annoyance handler with your other skills,
and you're pretty enough to be a First Lady."
Dawn waved a hand. "Please! I'm more than pretty enough to
be Queen of the Universe. Why should I settle for someone like
that?" She strolled off. "Let me send this back with an
"Coulson said to let the State Department do it."
"Sure, let me coat with poison first then," she decided. She smiled as she walked off.
"Damn she's mean," Bucky said, looking at Steve.
"She really reminds me a lot of Peggy. She has her mean moments
when they're important but she's competent, she's efficient, even before
Romania she handled things without going to tears, and she's never
really used her femininity as a trap."
"She swears more than Peggy and Peggy was never that mean," Bucky said.
"She had her moments and the swearing thing is a modern problem."
He shrugged. "It seems to be rampant in some areas."
"She probably learned from Spike," Clint said dryly. "What did he say about the twins?"
"By the tape we had made of their meeting, he wanted to turn one into
his next Dark Princess, but Dawn chided him so he gave up that idea."
Clint grinned. "Good."
"And he thought Sean was hotter than most of the porn he has."
"Can see that viewpoint," Clint decided. "But he's fifteen."
"Not much longer," Steve said. "When they come back they'll be
adults." They nodded they knew that. "Then Dawn can beat
guys off them for other reasons." He looked around. "Is Thor
"Last we knew," Clint said.
"Huh. That crush Artemis has?"
"Still going strong," Natasha sighed. "She's laid out plans for her future training and he looked pleased."
"Then maybe he'll be happy," Steve decided. "She could still travel back and forth."
"That'd break the twin bond," Clint said.
"Good point. Maybe a nice Marine who likes to hunt then?"
"Maybe," Natasha said with a small shrug. "We know she likes it up there better."
Steve nodded. "It's hard to transition to a life you've never even
thought might exist. There were plenty of times I wanted to go
back in time."
Benji opened the door and leaned in. "Hey, Barton? Can we bum you for a few weeks?"
"Why?" he asked, looking at him.
"The new reorganization is failing due to the weapons dealers ties. Though your wife has some."
"I don't usually sell them," Natasha said.
"Dawn used one to bait a guy," Ethan said over his shoulder with a grin
for her. "It got her a meeting with the pissant Henders."
Natasha and Clint shared a look then thought at Dawn, who told them when
and she hadn't sold it, she had taken it back from them. They
shook their heads. "She took it back from them after they all
died," Clint said. "For wanting Dawn to be their team mascot."
Ethan snorted. "She'd poison them all."
"A lot. I have to hit the house, guys."
"We'll pick you up after dinner," Benji said with a wave. "Sorry,
his second identity leads back to our agency." They left.
Natasha shook her head. "Be safe, behave. Don't make Ethan cry
like a girl," she said dryly. She smirked a tiny bit. "Don't
make Dawn come save you."
"I'd never do that." He kissed her, making her groan and lean into
his body. "See you in a few weeks." He went to do the same
to Dawn. She was in a meeting but oh well. "Assignment," he
said. "Be a few weeks." He winked. "Be safe, behave,
no taunting the bad guys unless they deserve it and no taunting Wade at
all." He left, going to the apartment to gather what he'd need.
Pepper blinked at Dawn a few times. "Wow."
She smiled. "Sorry, he's going on assignment." The others
smiled at her and they got back to business. At the end, Dawn went
back to her desk and checked over her various accounts. One was
suspiciously low. She checked and wrote that person that she
didn't owe a poker debt to. He said she did. She had him
prove it and he couldn't so she told his boss, who was with the demonic
mafia. He laughed until she zapped him long distance. Then
it got delivered back nicely in an envelope. Dawn smiled and
accepted it. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Summers. What happened to your sister?" She
pulled up a copy of the epic poem and gave it to him. He read it
and groaned. "Valhalla?" She nodded. "The kids we
heard she had?"
"Presently helping Atlantis."
He shuddered. "Damn."
"Yup." She smiled. "They're going to have their adulthood hunts soon."
He shivered. "That's good to know. Thanks for letting him explain himself."
"You know, cheating the humans in the circle may be fun but a lot of us can retaliate."
"We know. You're one of the few that would."
She grinned. "Hey, last time I nearly holy water bombed them. I'm being nice."
"You are. Thanks." He left, going to tell his boss
that. He agreed, Dawn had been very polite about things and she
wasn't really human so..... He wondered if she realized that.
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