The Stork Cometh.
The trio of girls looked at each other. They were at a very special school. One that mixed magic and science. Which was what they liked. They didn't like that the universe seemed to be falling down on the job of heros. Their school's world had been having problems. If they had been on that planet called Earth, they would've called them mafia types trying to take over the school. At UMT, they called them SiCorps. Which was stupid and they decided it didn't mean anything. Of course, our heroines weren't really at the top of their classes. They were bright, but not all that smart. They had no common sense and were what Earth people would call crackhead sorority chicks.
"We have to get more good guys here to help us," one of them complained, sipping on her microbrewed, yogurt infused alcoholic slurpee.
"How? It's not like we can take an ad out in some paper on some planet. Hero wanted, must be able to take on evil corporation trying to take over our school," another said, sipping her own slurpee. Hers was blueberry and you could tell because her mouth was very blue. She looked like she had died from drowning.
The third sighed. "Well, there's a way but it's not a simple way." They stared at her. "We could...." She took a slurp and swallowed. "There's heros on other planets and other planes, right?" They both nodded at her, making 'get on with it' hand motions. "Well, what if we traveled to them? We might not be able to bring them back but at least we can get the word out. And if worst comes to worst, we can do what the ancients who had the wrong ideas about the universe did and breed our heros from the stock of heros. The mothers were usually rewarded somehow for it." She took another slurp, twirling her hair around her fingers. "And I mean, it'd be okay, right? I know I want kids some day. Might as well be today if that's the only way to defend ourselves and our school."
"They'll be too young," the one with the blueberry alcoholic slurpee said, then swallowed a large gulp. "Unless we left from here, went to them, hid them somewhere decent, then brought them back here when it's time."
"That's the way they did it in the old stories," the first one said. She finished her slurpee and stared in the cup, hoping for more. Then at her friends. "How do we pick?"
"There's all sorts of heroic people in all sorts of realms. Let's just go for the cute ones. Because, I mean, ugly heros? Aren't really well liked." They all nodded at that, sighing a bit. "If we could talk a few others into it, it might even help more."
"I know a few girls who wouldn't mind. It'd help get their daddies off their backs about their arranged marriages they think are totally disgusting," the blueberry one said. She finished her own slurpee and went to pour some more, handing the other one her bottle. They sat down to draft out who to ask. They might even ask one of the girls associated with the SiCorps idiots. That would be fitting and like the old myths, right? But for now, they had to find a way to slip realities and realms easily that wouldn't hurt any future kids.
Fifteen years later, Xander Harris, slayerette to the Slayer Buffy, had the unpleasant task assigned to him. He really hated his job sometimes. The bimbo researchers were dumb. Truly stupid. The Council had run into them before and they gave even him a headache each and every time. And now they had been killed by some bad demon who wanted their kids. He had no idea *why* but for some reason Giles had put him in charge of them to protect them. So he, two mini slayers he was raising, who were both little beasts from hell really, and one officer were at the crime scene. The cops had called him to tell him about the demon and had told Giles about the why of the demon.
The girls got the demon and the young man was looking for the kids. They had apparently locked themselves in a lab upstairs. He sighed and went up there. "Girls," he called. No answer. "Bethany! Tamara! Now!" They ran up after him, amusing the cop. "Thank you!" He found the right lab and looked at the lock, then opened it. The door was stuck. He muttered and Tamara pried it open. "Thank you." He walked in and the kids gave him a fearful look. "Chill. I'm Xander. I'm with the Watchers Council. I'm here to get you guys somewhere safe and see if you have relatives. I help train the young slayers," he told them.
They all knew what slayers were. After the invasion in LA and a few other things, 20/20 had done a wonderful, Emmy winning story about them and the Council. Apparently some of the producers had found God afterward but that was fine with them. The girls got a lot of hero worship, offers of adoption for the ones that were still very young, cookies from grandmothers that weren't theirs. And a few poisoned ones from Grandmothers who hated the calling or thought it was ungodly. So the kids knew. He noticed most of them were girls. He had no idea why. "So," he said, walking in and sitting down to look at them. "These are Bethany and Tamara. They killed the demon that got your parents."
The girls smiled and waved. "Hi," they said in unison. "Welcome to the family."
Xander looked at them then at the other girls. "Yes, they're like that."
"So was my mother," one said dryly. She huffed. "We have fathers. Somewhere and when."
Xander stared at her. "Somewhere and when?" She smirked and nodded. "Tell me a lab didn't create you?"
"No, our mothers went to some heroic people to have us," one of the two boys in the group. "Their school was being attacked so they came back to this time zone to find someone to get them knocked up with the spawn of heros. That way they could go back to school later on and protect it from the bad people trying to take it over."
Xander nodded once. "Okay." He'd heard weirder. This wasn't going to bother him. Though it sounded like a few women he had dated. "Any idea when and where your fathers are? Or how to get to the school?"
"Fathers, yes. They kept records to compare," that boy said, turning to the computer to pull them up. "Though, I think some I've seen as a tv show down here."
"So an alternate reality," Xander sighed. "Yay." The kids all giggled at that. "Not the first I've seen. Hopefully I'm not a mean-ass vampire in that one." He came over to look. The geek in him was in glee. It was jumping up and down with pom-poms at the list of Fathers. "Damn," he said in awe. "Well." He looked around. "Get a traveling kit together. It's not safe here. We'll go to the shielded Slayer house. We'll work on it from there and see if Willow can get us to your father's. Because you're not old enough yet to pull heroic shit."
"I'm fifteen," one girl complained. "Your slayer friend started at that age."
"She never got to date normal guys, go to dances, hang out with other friends, go do frivolous teenage girl things, none of it," he told her simply. She nodded at that decision. "Give it four years. Train for it, then go handle it."
"We've been training," another girl said quietly. "Hand-to-hand, guns, magic."
"Even better. You guys can work with the slayers since they've decided I'm fragile at the moment." The slayers glared. "I can still spank you both," he offered.
"Bitch," one muttered. Her slayer sister swatted her. "He can be!" she pouted.
"Enough," Xander ordered. "Pains in my asses. I'm sending you to Faith." They stopped and shrank back. "Good, thank you. Quit showing your asses in front of the new ones." He looked at them. "Sorry, they've been on pouty kicks."
"It happens," the fifteen-year-old admitted. "I've had those days too."
"So have I. Then I did something to improve my mood."
"Can we have ice cream, Xander?" Tamara asked, giving him a begging look and bouncing slightly. "It'd help them calm down and settle in too."
"Only if you buy it. Payday's next week for me," he said patiently, earning a nod and the girls plotting and counting their allowances. He sighed, shaking his head. "All right, get what you need. We'll come back to pack other things later. Giles said he'd go over the estate for you guys." They went to do that while he got the list of fathers and texted Willow that they'd have a huge problem to deal with soon. Magic was still not his thing.
Strangely enough, it was Andrew who had the idea on how to get places. Well, not that strange. Geek king had a good idea that Willow could warp to magic instead of science. It took six months to get everything settled finished. That worked for all of them. Xander took the first two and headed off to find their fathers. It would track them down in any dimension. Willow had also made what she jokingly called a portkey to the college so they could go handle the badness for the kids. It was what they did.
Xander landed with the three girls in a glowing room. "Huh," he said, drawing attention. Someone with a gun rushed in. "Chill, dude. Message from Earth. Bad message from Earth. Is McKay still up here?" The soldier gave him a horrified look. "Dude, seriously. Just...now please. And probably a doc because he's going to pass out." The soldier called that in and McKay showed up, with Ronon. Xander nodded at him. "Hey. Thankfully not yours, big guy." He looked at the girls, taking the information file to hold up a picture. "She was in what department?"
He snatched it to look at. "Astrophysics. Why? And who are you and these children?" he demanded.
"Well, two of them are yours," Xander said dryly, holding up the official report. They had redone some of them. "The other is your favorite Colonel's." McKay started to splutter. "Basically, their moms went looking for heroic super stud sorts. You got poked with the pee test stick. Unfortunately something took out their mothers." He handed over the file. "So...." He checked the readout Andrew had created. "Well, you're in the same reality we are. That's decent." He sighed, looking at the shocked, wobbly scientist then at Ronon. "You might want him sitting down before he passes out."
"Perhaps," he agreed. "But it can be fun to watch." He looked at someone. "Call Sheppard since he's involved?"
"Already did, sir, he's on his way back from the mainland."
Xander grinned and waved at one guy. "You know, there's a tv show about you guys. I don't know who did it though." He looked at Ronon. "They had you a lot more grunt/shoot/kill."
"I've mellowed," he shot back with an evil look. Xander grinned. "Do you have a name?"
"Xander Harris. Watchers Council. Specifically slayer liaison and training." Rodney gave him a horrified look. "Huge ass demon took their mothers out. We rescued them, two girls I'm working with right now killed it. Giles named me their temporary guardian until we could find their fathers." Someone else stomped in. "Doctor Beckett. Xander Harris. That is their mothers' file on them. Including the most recent blood work."
"Why bring them here?" he demanded. "They're children."
"They're McKay and Sheppard's kids. Did you want me to put them in an orphanage or claim them as mine? I don't mind finishing their raising but I'm not their biological father and I'm not going to make that decision for *anyone*."
"That's a good point," Rodney said quietly, looking at them. "Why do I have two?"
"Mom was a twin," one said with a small shrug. "Sorry?"
"It's not your fault," he said firmly. "Though I have no idea what's going on." Someone else stomped in. "Colonel. These are apparently our children." He handed over the pictures in the file. "Do you recognize her?"
John Sheppard glanced at it and groaned. "Yes." He looked at Xander. "How did you get up here?" He waved his wrist. "That does what?"
"I log a kid into it and it takes us to their father."
"I want to study that," Rodney ordered. "Can it jump realities?"
"Yup. And it runs on magic." He smirked. "Apparently that's how their mothers got here too. They were going to a University of Magical Technology. Willow's handling the situation that caused them to decide to search out people they thought were heros to have future hero kids with."
"Do you have a time limit on that thing?" John asked a bit too calmly.
"Three days. Someone's watching my two slayers and the others. They have to go to their parents too."
He nodded. "Good. Then for now, Carson, test them for me please?" He nodded, leading the girls off. "I want a more in-depth report than this."
"That is their mothers' file on you guys, their training, their testing from school stuff, all that. I'm not going to make a decision for you but all the kids know that they are more than welcome to stay with me if you guys can't or won't take them in," he said, staring at them. "They'll be normal kids from that point on because Willow's taking care of the problems that made them drunkenly hatch this plan."
John nodded stiffly. "Okay. How about we go talk."
"Fine." He waved a hand. "I've only seen the tv show." John and Rodney both moaned so he grinned. "Trishy, the younger twin, is a kick ass shot and has been moving ahead in physics," he told them as they walked. "She was doing some of Willow's homework for her again." He looked at them in the transporter. "They're good kids. Well behaved, polite."
"We're in a war zone," John said firmly, glaring at him.
Xander nodded. "Which is why they can come stay with me. Though, the twins? They've already decided they want to stay to blow the hell out of the Genii for you. They've seen the tv show too. Their mom told them." Rodney moaned, shaking his head, one hand coming up to hold it. "They do not have your allergies. One has an allergy to wasps, but no food, no citrus, nothing like that yet." Rodney nodded at that. "Though, according to our work, they're all ATA carriers." John sighed. "Just letting you know. Also, they're stubborn little bitches. They managed to out-stubborn two slayers yesterday to get the last of the cereal and my girls hadn't eaten yet. It started a massive whine-a-thon." He followed them to the office, waving at someone. "Hi, Doctor Carter. We'll be visiting your people later. Want me to bring a letter?"
"What the hell?" she demanded, stomping after them.
Xander grinned. "I'm the intergalactic stork," he said dryly, smirking at her.
"No way in hell."
"Sorry but yeah." He pointed at the folder. "Their moms'."
She snatched it to read over, including the notes they made. She glared at John.
"I don't remember sleeping with her," he complained.
"She got you drunk by the notes." She went back over it, glaring at Rodney, who glared back. "We're in a war zone."
"They can stay with me," Xander promised, sitting down. "I train slayers." She glared at him too and he gave her the same sort of glare back. "The Council put them in my custody for now. A demon went after their moms. There's more than these three, yes. There's nine total."
Rodney's head thumped on the table. "It was a sorority, wasn't it?" he demanded quietly.
"Yeah, a drunken sorority plan to save their school from being attacked by bad corporate thugs. Trust me, you two are the most normal of the fathers." He looked at John. "She's a good kid. She's level-headed. She's got your flying abilities. She was proving it on Willow's newly charmed broom this morning to relax." He sighed. "I'm not going to make a decision for any of the fathers without their input. That's not my job and not my duty.
"All I can do is bring this to you, have you make a decision, and then help you with whatever you need. For the moment, the twins can probably destroy just about anyone thanks to their mother's training. Your little girl, well, she's a holy terror on crack first thing in the morning." John snickered at that. "She loves guns. She loves swords and knives more. She's basically Elektra at the moment who loves to fly. And swim." He shrugged. "It's up to you guys how you deal with it or if I'm bringing them home for a bit. Again, not my choice to make."
John nodded. "Thank you for that."
"I'm not pushy and I've had to gather slayers for training for years. Ever since Sunnydale fell in. I can promise they're going to college, maybe the one their moms went to, but they're going. They've already graduated a home study program." One of them ran in and pounced him. "Hey. Did you knock the doctor out or tie him up?" he teased with a grin.
"Neither. We're good, most of the time. We don't want to act like hellions on the day we meet our fathers, Xander." She looked at her father with an evil looking smirk. "Though he is swearing about this situation." The twins walked in and stood behind them. "So, can we talk?"
"We're going to go over the notes but I'd like to hear about your mothers," John said quietly. Rodney was staring at his girls. Xander nudged one with his elbow and she moved closer to her father, eventually touching him on the shoulder.
"It's all right. We're a lot to get used to," she assured him with a smile.
"With the way we were raised, some day we'll be doing the same sort of nerve-wracking heroic bullshit you guys do," the other one said.
"Language," John and Xander said in unison.
Xander looked back. "Being heroic is being in the right place at the wrong time and making the right decision," he said simply, staring at her. "It's not a job title unless you become an X-Man or something. That's another of you."
"Yes, Xander," she sighed, sitting down. Her twin sat on her father's other side. So far he hadn't had a meltdown but it didn't look like his brain was out of the shocked state yet. She looked at him, then smirked. "We can do evil math," she said.
"Math, like magic, isn't evil unless you use it for it," Xander told her. "Though, I think the panty raiding math you were doing probably counts."
"It was stress relief and the girls in Paris wanted it," the other twin said with her own grin. "We were being helpful."
"I'll make a special trip over to beat the hell out of them for planning on panty raiding every dorm on campus," he said dryly. They pouted. John was snickering. "Don't even. Your girl was helping them figure out how to rig the lines to rappel down the buildings and how much emergency knock out gas they might need."
John sat down, looking at his girl. Xander patted her on the back, letting her go sit beside him. "So, you like weapons? Xander said you were flying too."
She beamed at him, wiggling in her chair. "I love to fly. Mommy made sure I got flying lessons as soon as I was old enough. I can fly a helicopter and a small prop plane. I was learning small jets."
"That's very cool," he agreed. Xander started to move. "Stay." Xander nodded at that, getting comfortable again while they talked to their kids for the first time.
"We're still in a war zone," Sam pointed out before anyone got too comfortable.
One of the twins snorted. "Woman, please! Mommy taught us we'd have to protect our father and everyone else some day. She made sure we knew how to make every single explosive that's ever come onto the market, including a few you guys won't get on earth."
"Watch someone attack our daddies and us turn into evil bitches," the other twin agreed.
"That is a job for an adult," John said firmly.
"No, if you're in a screwed situation like the tv show said you guys are, it's whoever gets it done. Mommy said so," John's daughter said.
"No," Xander said. "Special training aside, that's not the same as being in the military. If there's an attack, you're to protect yourself and someone who's less able to do that, like the shrink or the docs. Thou shalt not pull a slayer and go on a rampage like Faith would."
"Yes, Xander," all three girls sighed, looking down.
One of the twins looked at her father then at him. "What about chemical mind control? Mom was getting us the recipe for that."
"That'd be somewhere in the stuff Andrew and Willow haven't pulled off yet. That would be up to them." Rodney was gaping at his little girl. She gave him a hopeful look. "Though I'm not sure how it'd work on the wraith."
"Is our show like the Wormhole Extreme show?" John asked dryly.
"I have no idea but it's called Stargate: Atlantis and comes in on our magical supersystem of broadcasting Willow built with some of the younger witches who missed their soaps and were pouty. It could be broadcast from a whole other realm as far as I know." He smirked. "How is Teyla and can you keep her from having a baby?"
John's mouth flopped open. "Damn I hope so."
Xander smirked at him. "Might, yeah."
"Michael was coming back. It's the current season for us." He pulled out his phone, typing into it. A care package appeared. He typed his thanks. "Girls, Andrew sent that."
"Ooooh! Cookies!" one of the twins squealed, pulling it over to open it. John got tossed the DVD's. Rodney the paperwork in the bottom. They got to share the cookies with their dads with a grin. John got his own with his little girl. She was really babbling now about her flying lessons.
Sam Carter was looking pissed off so Xander nudged her. "Perhaps they need the time to get to know their only children," he said quietly. "Even if they do end up staying with me until they're safer. Though you might want to warn one of your teammates that he's getting the same visit tomorrow." She huffed off. He smirked at John. "He is."
"The bracelet will get you there?"
"The bracelet will get me back just about when I left with them. That way no one has to babysit too long. Then I'll take off, give that daddy his few days to decide these things. That's one of the rare boys and he's another super geek." The girls just beamed at him for that compliment. "So, anyway." He stood up and grabbed a single cookie. "I'm going to sit outside. You guys don't need a referee right now so you can come find me in a few hours?" They all nodded. "Then let me take one of these strapping young, paranoid things with me to the nearest outside area. Been a while since I was near an ocean." He walked out with a guard. "C'mon, I won't even try to swim, dude. Let them talk to their kids." The guard nodded, following him. Ronon came to join him a few minutes later. "They wouldn't share the cookies?" he asked with a grin.
"No. They need it more. McKay is still thinking too hard. His brain's starting to smoke so he's thinking bad thoughts." He sat down. "How many more?"
"Six more kids. They're the only set of twins. I know at least one's going to suck because her daddy's dead by the information I know of his life. I don't know if his big sister will help or not." That got a nod. "Other than that," he sighed, leaning back, lifting his face to the sun. "It's wonderful to get out in the sunlight."
"I have heard about your slayers." Xander grinned at him for that. "What do you do?"
"I train the girls. They get instinctive knowledge of fighting style and things, so I help them train those so they can use them. I help them learn how to hunt. I'm the all-around badass parent for those who're with us and are going to school. Because if a principal has to call me, there'd better have been an emergency." He grinned. "Some of the girls are *real* fussy. One got into a fight over her hair bow the other day." Ronon snorted. "We all try to make sure the girls are like normal girls most of the time. Like soldiers do, they get downtime, training time, all that. And then they get to do their jobs, even with tests the next day if they're still in school. We try to give them a break on those days though."
"I can understand that. Training is necessary."
"They could really use someone tougher than me but we're pretty wary around some people, like military folks. We've met some that weren't that nice in the last few years. We're about to destroy the NID agents again too. It's about time for them to show up again." He shrugged but looked at the soldier. "How are they doing?"
"The reports have McKay throwing a fit that their mothers were sending the girls ahead so far to make them fight and things." Xander sighed but stood up. "The girls just hugged him so he stopped." Xander grinned at him. "I think they have it, sir. I told the guard with them where we are. So if the girls need time to get away they can."
"Good deal. Thanks, dude." He sat down again with a sigh of pleasure. "It'll get weirder than this. I'm glad this one's nearly sane."
Ronon laughed. "We're considered sane?"
"Considering they slipped into the realm where the X-Men are real? Yup."
"I saw that movie."
"If you ask, the girls have tons of movies on their laptops. They'd probably let you copy them," he said with a grin. The guard called that in and then grinned at them. "They agreed?"
"Yup. Do they have bags?"
"Oh, yeah. It's not a problem." The guard nodded at that. He looked at Ronon again. "They are in physical training but I didn't do more than do daily PT with them. So someone might want to test where they are at if they stay."
"I can do that. I'll even go easy on them because they're young."
"They may be but the twins will double team you," he warned with a grin. "They did it to their brothers." Ronon smirked back. Rodney stomped out so he waved. "Problems?"
"The girls are absolutely unreasonable about what their mothers wanted them to do," he complained loudly.
Xander nodded. "They were raised with the expectation of doing good things to save people. Or at least their college from the evil corporation that was bothering them. She treated them pretty well like I did the slayers. They're soldiers. They train, they learn new things. If necessary they use them, and ninety percent of the time they're normal little smartass girls." He saw the bad look and sighed. "Part of that is also clinging, McKay. You're their last parent. Their mother, the only ones they've known, got killed. Of course they're going to be clingy and try to be protective and possessive over their dads. When you lose most everything you cling to what you have left."
Rodney stopped pacing to look at him. "You believe so?"
"I've seen the slayers do the same thing when something came for their families. Some knew long before we got there to tell them what was going on," he said quietly. "You're their last touch of a normal family. Without you guys, they're orphans basically. Of course they're going to go all protective and gushy over you. With them it could also be nerves."
Rodney waved a hand. "Yes, fine. Should I bring in a psychologist?"
"Maybe later if you need to work things out. For today, just get to know them. Ask them about music and food. They're teenage girls so that's their life with school and shopping and boys." Rodney shuddered. Xander grinned. "They're not old enough to make you a grandfather at least. One's fifteen." Rodney went back inside shaking his head.
"That would be a strange discussion to have," Ronon agreed. "I'm your child, and look I'm carrying your grandchild. His head might have exploded."
"Which is a pretty cool effect," Xander said with a grin, getting a smirk and a nod back. John's girl came running out and climbed into his lap, sniffling into his shoulder "What's wrong?" he asked patiently, rubbing her back.
"Daddy's nice but Doctor Carter said we can't stay because there's danger."
"As opposed to earth, where you can get killed walking down the street?" he asked dryly. "Technically your dad can get that cleared since you're working on college credits." He gave her the cuddle she wanted. John came out looking furious. "She's ten classes away from a degree in biology at the moment," he told him.
"She's right, we are in a warzone." He sat down. "And I'd love to have her here but I doubt I can get it cleared." Xander pulled out a letter, handing it over. "What's this?" He read it and went pale. "You have some strong contacts, Mr. Harris." He folded it back up, staring at him.
Xander smirked. "Willow and he have talked a few times about things. Buffy gave him a headache too by babbling."
John shook his head. "I'm still not sure how."
"They're in college. Technically that's a way around all that. Their mothers knew they'd need it some day." John nodded. "So you could count them as work-in-progress geniuses. They are." He looked down at her, she was still sniffling. "Then again, I think Carter's being a bitch on purpose."
"Could be," he sighed. He took her back, letting her cuddle into his shoulder. "I would love nothing more than to have you here, Elizabeth," he said, getting her attention. "I won't lie and say it's not dangerous. It clearly is."
She sniffled. "I can biodisease the wraith," she offered quietly, staring at him.
He hugged her. "I might take you up on that someday." She cuddled him. "We'll be talking to the head guys tomorrow probably." She nodded. "If not, I'll arrange things so I can see you as often as I can." She pouted at him. He sighed. "Yours is so much worse than mine," he offered with a grin.
"That's because I'm a girl," she said with an evil grin.
"Clearly." He gave her another hug. Rodney and his girls came out as well. "We really need to talk to the generals." He handed over that letter of permission. "Willow got it for us."
Rodney read it then looked at Xander, who only grinned at him. "That's interesting." He sat down and the girls cuddled him. He looked at them. "I promise I won't disappear." They snuggled in harder. He put his arms around them, letting them cuddle for now. "She's like a miniature you only she's interested in biology," he told John.
John nodded. "So I'm told." He grinned at her. She was asleep. Xander shifted to help him move her to a more comfortable position for her. "Thank you."
"Not a problem. This is fully your decision. I can only play stork and offer options." He smiled. "They're good girls most of the time. Then again, they're teenage girls so that's expected."
"Neither of us were normal teenagers," Rodney said, cuddling his girls. They were falling asleep too. It was peaceful and nice and comforting. He could stay like this for a while. He stared at John. "I have no idea."
"Me either." He sighed, staring at the water for now. Rodney was doing the same thing. Ronon could guard them from Sam going more mean. Or Harris. He looked mean enough. When she came storming out Xander casually tripped her and then shoved her off the end of the pier. John looked down then called it in. "Guys, Carter just fell off the pier." A few people went rushing to help her out of the ocean. He looked at Xander. "Bad you," he said dryly.
"I hate PMS. It's clear she has it," he quipped. "I'm having traumatic flashbacks since I'm surrounded by it all day long every day." The guard snickered as he walked off. "I am! Not all women synch up."
"We'll be going back tonight to talk to our generals."
"Cool. Then I'll go get the other one and meet you there?" John nodded. "Decent. Beth, Gray, Trishy?" They all looked at him. "Let me get humungo boy and I'll meet you at the mountain in a few hours?" They all smiled and nodded. "Cool." He shook Ronon's hand. "Nice to meet you, dude. If and when you come back to earth, stop in and let the slayers drool on you and pounce you for sparring." He smirked as he disappeared. "All right!" he said as he appeared at home. "Trey." He hopped over, looking scared. "Those three will be meeting us at the mountain in a while. You're going to see the same people so we'll meet them there. Get a snack, fuss and all that." He ran off to get something to nibble on and say his goodbyes for now. He looked at Willow. "Sam Carter has PMS worse than yours." She swatted him on the arm. "Really. I didn't think it was possible." He and the boy left a few minutes later. He landed in front of a desk. "General. Xander Harris, Watchers Council and present stork."
General Landry stared at him. "How did you get in here?"
"Special stork powers. We need to see Doctor Jackson and you should be aware that a few people on Atlantis are going to need to come talk as well for the same reason."
"This is a classified military base, young man," he said firmly.
Xander leaned down. "And I can have it destroyed later by the teenage girls I train," he said bluntly, smirking at him. "We have presidential permission." He held up the letter. The general huffed and grabbed the phone. "Sit, Trey, it's gonna be a few. You might want to get Doctor Jackson in here to meet his son at the same time."
"Excuse me?" he demanded. The president said something in his ear. "Sir, I have an invader here named Harris....." He listened and blanched. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
"Tell him I've seen John and Rodney. They'll be here to talk to you or O'Neill in a bit with the three girls."
Landry repeated that and nodded. "Yes, sir, understood. Thank you, sir." He hung up and glared. "I don't like this."
"We rescued them," Xander said blandly. "It's my duty to introduce him to his father and let his father make some decisions."
"That could be a problem with what we do, sir," Landry said sarcastically.
"I know exactly what you do, and what John and Rodney do. Especially since I've seen their tv show." Landry winced at that. "The kids are in college. It's not your job or my job to make their decisions for them. Yes, if he can't handle it the kids can come back with me. If not, it's up to his father to make his own decisions. Now, would you like to summon him or would you like me to walk out of your office and have your assistant do it?"
"Walter, I need Doctor Jackson," he called. He glared at Xander. "I don't like you."
"I don't care," he said with a grin. "Yay me." Someone came walking in and he stood up. "Colonel Mitchell. Not the one I needed to see."
"I needed to see the general. Who're you? You're clearly not IOA."
"No, I'm Watchers Council actually. Though, Doctor Jackson might want you here for a bit. It depends on how close you two are as friends."
"We're fairly close." Daniel walked in. "Do you know him, Jackson?"
"Xander Harris, Watchers Council and stork," Xander said, holding out a hand.
"Stork?" he asked, shaking his hand.
"We rescued some kids. One's yours." He waved the kid up. "This is Trey. He's your son by the DNA profile and his mother's records." He found her picture in the file and held it up.
"Um, she was one of the nurses," Cam said, sitting on a cabinet to stare at the kid. "You do look like Daniel."
"I have his full files from his mother, including medical and all the notes she made," Xander said, handing it to him. "I'm here to inform you of this, let you learn about him, and if you cannot take care of him because of the job or whatever, to bring him home with me. He'll be my son."
Daniel nodded. "Thank you for being honest about that."
Xander grinned. "I'm not mean and this is the second time I've given this speech today. The others will be here soon."
"Here?" Mitchell demanded.
"Yeah, had to go the bright, shiny place," he said with a grin. "The twins and the other one wanted to meet their Daddies too."
"I'm so glad this isn't me. I'd be freaking out," Mitchell decided. "So, kid, got a name?"
"Trey. Apparently our moms decided they wanted to be like the ancient myths and have the sons of people they consider heroic to help them later on when their college was attacked," he said quietly, looking at Daniel.
"I'm just happy you're not a clone," he said with a grin.
Trey grinned back. "I'm not that unhip. Mom wanted me to learn more magic and math stuff instead of languages. I'm not bad at them but not as good as you are... um, do you want to be Dad? Or...or Father or what?"
"Dad's fine," he said, earning a more relaxed kid. "Let's take this to the conference room." They nodded, following him. He looked at Xander. "How did you get down here?"
"Mystical stork powers," he said dryly with a smirk. "I'm the trainer for the slayers. I have to get into many strange places. But the president said it was okay this time." They heard the gate activating and nodded. "That may be your sisters." They walked into the meeting room. "The kids were all raised together as siblings."
"That's fine. How many?" Daniel asked.
"Nine total. He's one of the two boys."
"Decent," Mitchell said, looking over as two familiar people walked in with girls. "Sheppard and McKay. It figures the strange stuff would hit you too."
Beth looked at him from beside her daddy. "You're not worthy of drooling on us," she said dryly. "We can do fantastical things with math that I can fly and deliver so they go boom."
"Clearly your kids," Mitchell said dryly, smirking at Harris. "They have presidential oversight?"
"For now." He sat down, letting Trey get closer to his daddy. When the general came in, Xander got out of his seat and sat next to Trey. Who calmed down. "Relax. It's strange and all that but not bad," he said quietly.
"I don't know how to act. He's a guy."
Daniel smiled. "I've had days like that myself."
"Me and Rick have formed a protection pact against the girls and the moms when they were in the mood to prank," he told him.
"That's cool. I threw Sam Carter off a pier for getting huffy about your sisters," Xander told him dryly. "Clearly nuclear level of PMS on her side." Trey shuddered but John patted him on the back. He looked at the general, passing down the letter John handed him. "I'm fairly certain I gave that to them earlier."
He read it over, nodding but looking unhappy. "I see." He looked at them. "What are we going to do about this?"
"The girls are all in college," Rodney said. "Mine are in physics. His is in biology." The general nodded. "Xander has said we have time to get to know them or we can keep them with him until it's a bit safer."
"I'm being the most understanding I can," Xander assured him. "They'd be normal kids with me. Treated just like my girls."
"You have daughters?" the general asked him.
"No, I'm personally training two of the slayers. Both fifteen."
"Oh." He blinked a few times.
"I'm the one that they send to gather the girls and to help those who're training at home instead of with us. Technically I'm over all the young ones. Those two just landed in my place and never left."
"I see. How close to the base are you?"
"Chicago. The main house is in Cleveland." He looked at them then at the general. "I may be open to moving closer but that depends on how many of the other kids are actually from this realm since their mothers went other places as well."
"We're sure?" the General demanded.
"Yeah, one's the son of an X-Man." He shrugged. "Who knows. They were a sorority that wanted to have the son of heros. Personally, I think they hatched a drunken plan."
"Their records say that, yeah," John agreed. He passed down the folders. "What they had on our girls, General."
Daniel handed over his on Trey. "You have some very good grades," he said with a grin.
"Thanks, Dad. I try because the moms got pushy."
"Good parents push a bit but you don't have to move ahead that fast to impress me."
"We're sending someone to deal with the issue that made the mothers hatch this plot," Xander told them. "Willow's going to deal with it." They all smirked at him for it. He smirked back. "They all went to a University of Magical Technology." Landry shuddered. "We've evaluated that skill. These three don't have a lot of magic. They have good control over it. They know not to use it outside of emergencies and occasional floated remote or soda. They've all had strong ethics lectures on that subject."
"Good," Landry said. He looked at him. "How did you get in here?"
"The same way I got there. Special stork powers created and powered by Rosenburg."
"Oh." He reread the files and sighed, looking at the fathers. "It seems we need to do some figuring out."
"Carter is not pleased," John told him. "She got really snappy and I nearly ripped her face off, General. She sneered at my daughter. Even after her impromptu swim."
"I did like that, yes," Rodney said with a smile. "She's not the same Sam she used to be. Before she was more scientist and now she's more Xena with PMS."
Xander snickered. "Does she fish?"
"No. She loathes fishing actually."
Daniel shook his head. "We've noticed too, McKay. I think she's got battle exhaustion personally." He looked at his boy. "Your mother didn't let you fight, right?"
"She had us trained how to. I'm pretty good at two martial arts and with a sword or a gun. Beth's better than everyone," he admitted with a grin for her, getting a smirk bac k. "As she proves sometimes with paintballs."
"My girls would still kick all your asses," Xander assured him, patting him on the back.
"Yes they did," Beth complained.
"They're slayers. They're supposed to be better at the combat stuff than everyone but maybe Melissa," Trey pointed out dryly. "With her daddy, she had better be really good."
Xander nodded. "Hopefully." He sighed, shifting in his seat. "Want me to leave you guys to talk?" he asked Daniel. "I can be back in a few days. The kids have their specially charmed cellphones so they can reach me even if I'm in another realm at the time."
"Sure," he said, looking at his son. "We can be freaked out together and get to know each other."
Xander looked at the girls.
Beth was staring at her father, who was smiling at her. "That's fine, Uncle Xander."
"K, then I'll be back." He disappeared. "Let's take.... Rick." He hopped up and hugged everyone. Xander got a sandwich and a can of soda to take with him. There was no telling what his father was doing. "Bag?" He got it and they left. Xander watched the battle. "Huh."
Rick raised a hand and chanted, ending the stupidity by sending the idiots away. "Good."
Xander smiled. "Hi, Xander Harris, inter-realmal stork," he said, taking a bite of his sandwich. He stared at one of the guys. "I have no idea why girls get mushy over you, dude. I mean, all the girls." Wolverine growled. "Sniff." He did and backed up, looking horrified. "Got her picture, Rick?" he asked quietly.
He walked over, handing over the file and picture. "What my mom kept. Including the DNA test."
"How?" he demanded quietly.
"They wanted kids from heros. Unfortunately big damn demon ate the moms. So I'm doing stork duty," Xander said. He turned and shot someone, making them run crying. "Thank you." He put his gun back up and looked at him. "I work with slayers," he said with a grin.
"We have a comic book of you guys," one of the others said.
"I work with Buffy," he said with a smirk. "I'm Xander." He shook her hand. "I thought for sure they would've picked someone else."
"One mom tried for Gambit but she miscarried," Rick said quietly. Gambit stiffened and looked at him. "Not mine. They all raised us together."
Xander nodded. "They went to a magical university in the same sorority too," he quipped.
Logan looked at him. "This is real?"
"You can't really mask parent-to-cub scent can you?" Xander countered. He felt the mental tickle and let the friends he had in his mind deal with it. The hyena was very happy to attack. "You might warn him I was possessed by a primal. She's all too happy to growl at whoever that is."
"Stop it," Logan called. The one scanning him stopped. "Thank you." He looked at Xander. "So, pop in, drop him off....."
"No. If you can't handle it, he can come home with me." He stared at him. "That's your choice and I'm here to tell you what I know, help you two talk that first few times, and all that."
Logan nodded. "That makes more sense."
"Like I said, I'm doing stork duty but I do take returns. They can come live with me. That's not an issue in the least. I'll love him like he was my own boy. My slayers already love him like a brother because he helped them escape the prank last night." Rick grinned at that. "Trey will tell his dad so they can get the twins back." Rick snickered at that and turned to look at his dad. "So, anyway." He found something and hopped up to sit on it. It moved but he only looked down. "Then next time, don't pretend to be a rock. You make a comfy seat." He looked at Logan again.
"This is the strangest thing ever," he decided, looking at his boy. "We have to talk, huh?"
"Yeah, we probably should," he agreed quietly. He felt someone come up behind and turned, kicking them back and attacking.
"Whoa," Logan ordered. "She's friendly. Like a puppy sometimes. Down." Rick stepped back, ready to defend himself. Logan nodded. "She got you good trainers. Are you showing any mutant powers?"
"Beyond my magic being one of the strongest?" he asked quietly. "Um... I kinda got some of your healing. It takes about a quarter of the time of the rest of the kids. Mom didn't think I had the perpetual healing you have for fatal things but at least some." He swallowed. "This is really weird. I'm sorry."
"Kid, if you're mine, you're mine," Logan assured him. "No matter how freaked out I am." The kid relaxed. He looked at Harris. "Thank you."
"Welcome. His phone can reach me if he needs to, Logan." He hopped off the supposed rock. "Rick, call the girls if you want to talk. They're going through the same things." He nodded, giving Xander a hug. "You can call if you need to talk," he reminded, staring at him. "Got me here?"
"Yes, Uncle Xander," he said with a smile. "Thank you."
"NP, Rick. You know that." He ruffled his hair. "You need a trim before you get your dad's hair." He disappeared.
Rick looked at his father. "So...."
Logan nodded. "Lunch?"
"I'm a teenage boy, of course I can eat." That broke some of the tension in the group.
"Let's talk about your mom on the way, kid." He walked off with him to talk. The others followed. This wasn't the strangest thing they'd ever had happen so they just went with it for now. He'd have Hank check the kid over and do another DNA test just in case later.
Xander landed at home, looking at the last four kids. "Well...." He looked around. "Hmm."
"I'm a single, I can go," Crissy offered.
"I have no idea how to tell your dad," he admitted quietly. "That's going to be a harder talk." She nodded at that. "But... that's not a bad idea. Tabitha." She got her stuff and hugged everyone. "Cool beans." He keyed her in and they left. "Hey, even the same realm," he said happily.
She beamed at him. "That means I can pop in and visit?"
"Anytime any of you kids want." He gave her a hug and walked her into the building. Her father was here somewhere. "Hi," he told the receptionist, pulling out his Council ID. "I need to speak to Detective Flack please. I'm told he's somewhere around here."
She checked. "I have him signed in," she admitted, calling upstairs. "Detective, there's someone here who needs to speak to Detective Flack and got told he was here. I have him signed in going to the lab." She listened. "Please. Thank you." She hung up. "She'll get him for you."
"Thank you. Is there a more private area we can talk?"
"There's the alley," she offered. "We use it for smoke breaks."
"That's cool. We'll be there if you can point him our way?" She smiled and nodded. "Thank you." He walked her out there. "Did you bring the folder?" She groaned. He called Willow, who sent it. He caught it but a picture floated down to the ground. She picked it up to wipe off.
"You needed to see me about a case?" the young detective asked, coming out. He looked a bit scruffy today. In a t-shirt and nice enough pants. Five-o-clock shadow heading toward six.
Xander looked at him. "Detective. Xander Harris. Watchers Council."
"Okay, I know about your girls. Is one of them one of my cases?"
Xander took the picture from the girl, who had turned really shy. He held it up. "She was one of our cases."
Don snatched it and gave him a dirty look. "I knew her." Xander handed over the file and hugged the girl, whispering in her ear. She stiffened up and looked at him. Don stared at the paperwork on top then at the girl. "No way."
"Yeah," Xander admitted. "I'm being the stork. I'm here to introduce you, let you two talk, make some decisions and assure you if something's wrong, she'll be coming back to me as one of my girls." He gave her a slight nudge. "She's a bit shy," he said quietly.
"This is freaky."
"She has eight others she's been raised with. Her mom and the others raised them as siblings."
"Why find me now?"
"Huge ass demon," Xander said bluntly. She looked at him, grabbing his hand. "Hey, calm down." He kissed her on the head. "It's all right. As far as I know he's not mean. If he's mean, I'll kick his ass." She gave him a small smile at that. "And if I can't, I'm sure as hell sure Buffy or Faith can. Or one of my girls."
"I'd never be mean to anyone who wasn't a suspect," Don told her. She relaxed some. "So..." He sighed. "This is really awkward." She nodded. "Do you mind if we redo the test?" She shook her head quickly. He saw the worried look and shot one back at the guy. "Can you talk?" he asked with a teasing grin.
"Of course, I'm a teenage girl," she said quietly, looking at him again.
Don grinned. "Good!" He pulled her closer. "Let's go inside and talk. It was wise of him to let me know in private but there's a whole lot of nosy people upstairs who'd want to meet you." She nodded. He looked at Xander. "You coming?"
"If she wants. I'm leaving that up to her." She nodded so he followed. He let her snuggle against his side but Don didn't seem to mind. "It's all right. Remember, if they're mean, Buffy has PMS this week." She giggled.
"That may be a fate worse than death," Don said. He got them signed in and upstairs. "Mac would definitely hate that he was beaten by a small girlish sort." They walked off the elevators. "Let me go steal someone's office. Mac, need your office," he called, spotting him.
"Is that a witness?" he asked.
"No, it's apparently my daughter," he said. "This is the stork." Xander waved. "So can we?"
"Definitely. Do you need to ask a favor to run paternity? It's against protocol but I might be able to have it slipped in."
"Can you? They did one but I want to make sure."
"Sure, I can do that." He let them into his office, watching the girl stare at her father. She was clearly nervous. The guy with her was casually tense. He went to get some swabs so he could do their cheeks and run the test himself.
Don sat down beside her, staring at her. "How old are you?"
"That's a good age. So, why didn't she tell me?" Xander pointed at the folder, letting him take it back gently to read the notes in it. Don looked pissed. "Huh." He looked at her. "Your mom seemed to have more brains than that."
"Like I said, she has eight siblings," Xander said. "I can understand the desire but it was crappy to do it this way."
Don nodded. "She should've told me. I wanna rant that she didn't tell me. I would've been there," he assured her. She smiled a bit, nodding some. "So, school stuff? You're in middle school?"
"No, we all passed our home school tests," she said quietly. "I don't know what I want to major in so I was taking some general courses. My maths, my englishes, that stuff."
"That's a good idea. So... did she talk about me?"
She nodded, pushing her dark brown hair back behind her ears. "A lot. She thought you were really cute." Don grinned at that. "That you'd age into handsome." She blushed, looking down. "I think she was right."
He patted her on the cheek. "I try to stay at cute. It makes the bad guys underestimate me." Mac came in and he opened his mouth, letting him swab it. He nudged her and Mac did the same. "Thanks, Mac."
"Welcome. What's your name?"
"It's a pretty name." He smiled and left them alone to talk.
"That's Mac. He's a good friend," he told her. "I have a few here in the lab. We'll introduce you around to them and the grandparents." She beamed at him. "My Ma's gonna fuss over you for being so smart and pretty." He stroked her cheek. "We'll figure it out."
"Sure. Can I visit Xander?"
"Whenever you want," Xander assured her. He gave her a hug. "All you have to do is call, Tabs."
"Yes, Xander." She smiled at him then at Don. "He's a really cool uncle. He's got two slayers he's training so we got to do PT with them. It was easier than our self defense classes."
"She had you guys in self defense?"
"Yup. And swords and guns and all that stuff. The twins can build bombs but I'm not like that and their daddy was some sort of giant super brain that works for the military."
"Yes he is," Xander agreed. He patted her on the back. "Want me to stay for a bit?"
She stared at him. Then shook her head. "No, I think it'll be okay and I'll text. I know Willow said the phone would reach you even when you're taking the two home."
"Probably and that's going to be a craptastic talk. Their mom skipped some realms," he explained. "Two belong to guys I know are going to end up dead but I'm not sure where in their timeline we are." He stood up, looking at her. "You sure?" She nodded. "Okay. Call or text, Tabs. I'll come flashing in as fast as I can." She nodded so he disappeared.
Don grinned. "I'm not mean or some hardass. Let me call my boss, let them know what I'm doing." He called. "Hey, it's Flack. I'm sitting here looking at my daughter. Because I didn't know before a half-hour ago. Her Ma had her then didn't tell me." He nodded. "Mac's office. Thanks." He hung up. "We're cool with taking a really long lunch here," he said with a grin. "Do you like hotdogs?"
"Yeah, they're like my favorite food behind nachos and soft pretzels." Don beamed at that answer, taking her out to the cart up the street to get lunch. Food seemed to be a universal teenager trigger for talking. Mac watched them go, shaking his head. He'd get them back later to talk to them and let Don introduce her around. Maybe Stella could draw her out of her shell.
Xander reappeared in the conference room, looking at the kids. "We good?" They all nodded. "Cool. I'm down to three and it's going to be a pop off-realm for them." He gave the twins a hug since they were pouting. "Call me if you guys need me." He disappeared again. "Crissy." She squealed and grabbed her things, letting Xander have the folder. "Okay, this is going to be really weird and all. Your mom had some strange tastes." The last two girls giggled. "So, let's hit.... New York in another realm." He disappeared with her. Xander looked around the warehouse he was in. "This is cheery." He coughed loudly. "It's the stork," he called. "Shoot me and I'll kill your ass, Frank Castle."
A man came out of the shadows, staring at him. "I don't know you. Or her." Xander held up the picture and he snatched it, going pale. "How...."
Xander looked at him. "She cross-realmed it to boink you, dude. Unfortunately she also just died." He handed over his card. "My girls and I helped save them." The man nodded once at that. "So, I'm here on stork duty. That way you can get to know her, talk to her, all that since she's your daughter by her mom's notes. We can do a new test if you want and can have it done." Frank grunted at that. "But if you can't or won't, she'll come home with me. She'll be like one of my girls. As her father, you get to make that decision."
"She wasn't the only one," he sighed. "A few different mothers banded together."
"Ah." He moved closer, looking at her. She looked a lot like him. Same eyes. Same build. Same nose. It would be impossible to deny. "She's in danger here."
Xander nodded. "Which is why you have to make some decisions." He handed him the folder. "What her mother kept on what was going on, her educational notes, that stuff. The problem they were hoping to solve one of my people is going to handle."
Frank nodded once at that, staring at her. "It's still not safe," he said quietly. "They could come for you."
"I'm fully proficient in most weapons," she told him. "Especially guns. Mom wouldn't let us in combat of course," she said, pushing her hair back and tying it up in a sloppy bun with a pen in her pocket. "We were all trained to someday be a hero to someone, Father."
Xander stepped out of the way. "I've had her training with my slayers while we worked things out. She's good. Very good." Frank nodded at that, looking at him. "She's also one of the oldest. The original three as it were." He smiled at the girl. "I tested her on the range and she was nearly marksman class. Rated at ninety-two percent of dead center."
"That's good." He looked at her. "I have no idea what to do to keep you safe."
"Well, I can alleviate some stress," she offered. "I'm in college. I can apply here and live on campus or whatever." Frank relaxed some. "I don't want to crimp your lifestyle, Dad. I know what you do is important shit."
Xander looked at the bracelet's readout. "You're in the same Uni as Rick," he realized, looking at her.
She texted him that, getting one back that his dad was awesome but scary and had bad hair. She giggled.
"Rick?" the Punisher asked.
"One of the other kids. His daddy's Wolverine."
"Ah." He nodded. "He's not a bad fighter."
"His mother tried for Gambit too but she miscarried," she said quietly. He smirked at that. "Moms wanted heros to be baby daddy."
"Clearly." He looked at her then at the man. "Can she get hold of you?"
"Yup. Her phone can reach me no matter what realm I'm in. The same as we can get her to visit if she wants. If something happens, she's my girl," he assured him firmly.
The Punisher nodded. "Thank you."
"NP, dude." He shook his hand. "Call on her phone if you need me. I have two others I have to introduce and it's harder than this one." He disappeared.
"That's a skill I'd like to have," he said quietly.
"Willow made it for him. She's like uber witch," she said with a grin. "I only have a little bit of magic but I have no idea if I can do that or not." She looked around then at him. "I'm also an engineer. Weapons engineer." He smirked at that. "Mommy liked that about me."
"It's a good field," he assured her. "Want to go outside?" He wasn't sure he could handle this but the kid was giving him every opportunity to prove he was a stand-up guy outside of his calling. His mind was running around in circles. It had been a long time since he'd had a family, and their deaths were why he had started his crusade. Now he had a smartass, talented, teenage daughter.
"Sure, change. That way you're not in work clothes." He gave her an evil smirk. She gave one back. "Well, I am a fifteen-year-old girl, Dad."
"Fine." He put on a shirt and walked out with her. He needed time to think and he had some allies in town. She did look a lot like him. She even walked like him and hid her gun in the same spot. It was creepy but it was his little girl. His last family had been killed but he would be calmer for her benefit. Maybe a bit more sneaky at times. He'd still kill all the criminals who needed it but he'd be more sneaky for her benefit.
Xander reappeared, grabbing another sandwich. They both finished their dinner so he grinned. "Ready?"
"No. What if they're late in their timeline?" Vanessa asked, pushing her red hair back over her shoulder.
"That would suck, but he did have coworkers who were family. In your case, they might. If not, you know you have a home here." She nodded. "And hey, maybe they could tell you about your dad at least." He looked at the other one. "Same for you, though you do have a half sister." His phone rang so he went to talk to that one. "Hey, Tabs. What's up?" He gave her a hug, glaring at the woman glaring at her. "Who in the fuck are you?" he demanded. "Get the fuck away from the child." She backed up, giving him a horrified look. "Where's your dad?"
"Bathroom," she said. "She scared me."
"That's because she's more bitchy than the dog in heat downstairs." Don came back and spotted him, groaning. "She panicked a bit because that bitch there decided to glare at her."
"Montana," he growled. "Leave my little girl alone!" She flinched and backed away further. He took her to hold. "She's not that scary," he promised, calming her down. She looked up at him. "I promise, she's not. Cranky, but not scary." She nodded. "And her husband is better. He's one of my buddies. You'll like him and his little girl." She beamed at that. "Good. Let's go meet them. Thanks, Xander."
"Welcome. Tabs, I'm going off-realm to deliver Vanessa and Melissa. Call if you need me. Crissy and Rick are in the same realm together but you've got most of the rest here." She nodded at that, stiffening some. "Let me know if you need me." He kissed her on the head then disappeared.
Don grinned. "He's really overprotective."
"Yeah, but it's nice," she said quietly. She grinned back. "He even stopped the prank the other day and the paintball ambush."
"That's good of him. I'd hate to see what you'd do back," he teased. She gave him an evil smirk and cackled. "That's my girl. C'mon, let's introduce you to some friends." He walked her off, ignoring Monroe totally.
Xander reappeared. "Okay. Tabs is fine. One of her daddy's coworkers was glaring." They nodded. "If we land and there's a fight, be ready." They nodded and put up their hair. "Good, let's go." He took the files and they put a hand on his, disappearing with him. They landed in an alley. "Huh." He looked around. "That's cute. Niteowl," he called quietly, making him flinch and turn around. "Small problem. I'm being the stork."
"For? Do I know you?"
"I may be a comic here. You are to our world." He held up the files. "I need to see their daddies. Their moms got taken out."
He took them to look at then at the kid. "I know where they are."
"Please. We weren't sure because I know in the future they both die in a few years."
"That's a good thing to note. How far?"
Xander stared at him. "One's death will be very bad and start off a horribly bad thing," he said simply. "I'm not sure about the rules of warning ahead."
He nodded. "I understand that. Neither one's...normal."
"As opposed to what? I work with slayers, dude."
"Oh." He nodded. "Let me get you guys somewhere you can rest and bring them there."
"I've got cash," he said, pulling it out. It switched to this realm's cash with a soft glow. "We'll go find a room. Can you get them there?"
"I can." Xander nodded, taking the files back and walking the girls off. One of them roundkicked someone who tried to pickpocket her, making him whistle. "Yeah, that's her daddy's little girl," he said quietly. "Not going to be fun." He went to find Rorschach. It was probably easier and he didn't know where the other father was. He found him stalking someone and got his attention, nodding him over. "Bad news. Someone just appeared where I was, out of thin air."
"Are you drugged?" he demanded quietly.
"Worse. I saw a pretty young thing who looked a lot like you." The man stared at him, his 'face' shifting as he breathed. "The guy with them said he was doing stork duty since their mothers died," he finished quietly. "He's going to the Imperial since it was across the street." He put a hand on his arm. "It's not just you but he has some forward knowledge too. To his world we're a comic book."
"Damn it," he muttered. "How did this happen?"
"They're both mid-teens. There were two files so you're not the only father but you might be the only one that knows where the other is."
"Shit." He looked around. "Let me handle this."
"Let me handle this idiot for you." Rorschach nodded, heading off. NightOwl looked then decided to say fuck it and barge in. It felt good to get back to the old ways every little once in a while. As long as he wasn't caught.
Xander looked over as the room's window opened. "Welcome." He looked at Vanessa, holding up the file. "Her mom's picture is in there."
"Who're you?" he demanded.
Xander held up a card, looking at him. "Yeah, to us you're a comic book. Her mom did it on purpose to have the kid of a hero. It was her plan to protect her school from some corporate asshole. My people are taking care of it. I'm here to tell you, introduce you, let you make your own decisions. If not, she's mine."
He nodded. "That may be safer."
"Not like I'm not training to do the same thing," Vanessa said dryly, taking down her hair to redo it. "Sorry, I'm a bit nervous. Mom told us but nothing else."
Xander pointed. "There's a private bedroom so you two can talk if you want," he offered quietly. "Can you find the other father?"
He looked then nodded. "Yeah, I can." He looked at the boy. "If you tell me what you know of the future."
"That would totally change your timeline."
"Battle?" he asked.
"Bad guy. With a plan to save humanity. So doing the sucky thing for a good reason. Horribly sucky thing."
"Do I die?"
"Yup. At the end of it."
He nodded once. "I don't want her in danger."
"I know that. That's why the offer stands to come be my daughter and train with my slayers."
Rorschach nodded at that, looking at his little girl. He hadn't wanted kids. He didn't want to pollute the earth with anyone like him. She was staring back. "It's not safe," he told her.
She nodded. "I know. Still, you have the right to know."
"I know." He moved closer. "How trained are you?"
"Fairly well for a fifteen-year-old normal girl." She smiled slightly. "I'm very good in most weapons. I can sneak, hunt, hide, plan, plot, and I'm in college. We all are."
He stared at her. "That may be safer," he admitted.
"She knows the areas not to be in to stay safe," Xander assured him. "I showed her." Rorschach looked at him. He stared back. "I'm not going to leave anyone ignorant and in danger if I can help it. I've fought too long for my own world against demons and things."
"I saw that comic once," he snorted. "Cute girl."
"Who can kick mine and most military guys' asses," Xander agreed. "She's got PMS this week too." The masked man shuddered. "Yeah." He looked at her then at him. "That's between you two."
"Welcome." He looked at the other one. "I have no idea what to do about your dad."
"I know, Xander. Calm down. We're the hardest of all the notifications." She looked at him. "I have a little brother but he's with Wolverine, his daddy."
"There's nine of us who were born from the mothers' plan," Vanessa agreed. "I don't have any direct siblings but we were raised together."
"That's good of them," he said, looking at her. "I need to think, kid."
"We paid for about three days," Xander said, holding up his wrist. "That's all the time this has on it. Then I'd have to go. I could come back but I'm not sure how much power it'll have at that point."
"A reasonable warning. Let me find the other's father." Xander nodded so he left. "This is so fucked up," he told himself as he hurried off into the shadows across rooftops.
Xander looked at them, holding up his arms. They gave him a hug. "It'll be okay," he promised. They smiled. "Maybe we'll arrange some things. I don't know." They sat down to watch some tv and relax for a bit.
Xander got a call to hit a bar and walked in there with Melissa on his arm. He found his target and walked up to him, giving him a nudge on the arm. "Morning."
"Not here it isn't." He stared then blinked at the girl. "Damn."
"Well, mom was an airhead sometimes so maybe she was," she quipped back dryly, staring at him. He smirked at her. "Yeah, I'm the cosmic joke."
"Clearly, kid." He looked at the man. "Why tell me?"
"It's your right to make a manly decision or not," Xander said simply. "If not, she becomes my daughter. She'll train with my slayers." Someone tried to grab her so she turned and kicked his ass. "Quit arching your back," Xander ordered patiently. He knocked another one out. "Leave the girl alone. She has taste and only goes for humans. You don't qualify." The guy next to him cackled at that. Xander smirked. "Seriously, he doesn't." He checked her over. "Sore? Broken?"
"Bruised knuckles. Sore spot where he pinched." She sneered. "Like I'd stoop low enough for slime like you." She looked at her father again. "I have better taste than you do. You're graphic novels to us," she finished quietly.
He nodded. "That makes more sense. I've never seen her since then."
"I have a little brother with another hero in another realm," she said dryly. "Can I have a beer?" she asked the bartender.
"Fuck no," Xander assured her. She huffed. He stared at her. "No! You're fifteen." The bartender fled at his glare. He smirked. "If I have to destroy the next one who tries to cop a feel, so be it," he told the guy behind him. "Because you're prison pussy bait anyway." He knocked him down and stomped on his chest, making him wheeze. "Get off. Not yours." He walked over him. "Anyway, I thought you two should talk."
The Comedian looked at his daughter. "He's not bad."
"No, not for having trained himself." She smirked at him. "The girls help a lot."
"Well, yeah. Slayers do," he agreed dryly. He smirked. "So did Africa."
"Good point. So, Daddy," she said with the most evil smirk ever, making him shudder. "I know it's not your thing. We still had to tell you and all that shit."
"Quit swearing. Ladies don't swear."
"I haven't had much time to be a lady recently. A teenage girl, yeah." Vanessa walked in with someone behind her. "Hey, sis."
The Comedian stared at her then at Xander. "Rorschach?" he asked quietly. Xander nodded. "Huh. I didn't know he knew what women were for."
"Yes and I have his nasty temper too," Vanessa said dryly, glaring at the person. "Did you not learn when my sister beat your ass?" He fled the bar. She looked at Xander. "Sorry, I'm having some temper."
He gave her a hug. "They happen. This is an emotional time. I'd expect some temper." He looked at the older guy. "Want to talk somewhere more private? We've got a room for the next two days."
"Please, kid." He looked at his girl then the other girl. "Your dad has to be freaking out."
"Yup. Went on a swearing fit no less." She smirked. "I was almost pleased at my good work. None of the others swear when we prank them or anything." Xander snorted, shaking his head. "We're not evil or anything. We're just fun."
"Uh-huh. Where?" Xander showed him the room key. "Scummy."
"Not my realm," Xander shot back.
"Good point. Go. I'll be there in an hour. Let me do some of my own swearing."
Xander nodded. "Cool with me. I would be too."
Melissa looked at him. "If you don't, I'm not going to throw a fit. I read the same graphic novels because mom made me," she said quietly, leaving him there. Vanessa was still stressed and fussing with her hair. "Oh, just braid the damn shit," she said, waving a hand to magic it that way. "It's more practical anyway." They walked off, Xander following.
Xander shook his head. "Stress is bad and leads to acne, girls. Calm down. Hit a building a few times if you have to. Or we'll spar when we get back to the room." They nodded, accepting that plan. He knew they were stressed. Usually they didn't swear. Their mothers had wanted them to be good girls. They got back there and moved things out of the way. The girls went at each other while Xander sat down and critiqued. For now. The winner could face him. He looked over as the window opened and the two fathers came in. He shrugged. "Stress relief."
"They don't look bad," Rorschach said.
"No, they don't," the Comedian said. "Their mom's plan?" Xander handed over the folder. He read it over, nodding some. "Mercenary of her."
"Mom thought it'd be necessary," Vanessa panted.
"Watch your back foot," Rorschach ordered. She checked and kicked then ducked a blow and foot swept her sister. "Nice."
"Thank you." She panted, looking down at her. "You okay? Did I hurt you too bad?"
"Nah. You know I hardly bruise." She accepted the help up. "I seriously shouldn't have slacked when I had that broken leg last year."
Her father looked at her. "Why?"
"Skiing," they said together.
"Ah." He nodded, looking at them. "Why tell us now?"
"A demon took out the Moms for their plans," Vanessa said. "That's why we're Xander's stepkids." She sat down, taking the bottle of water from him. "Thank you."
"Welcome." He handed one to Melissa. "Stretch before you cramp again. You're mid-growth spurt." She nodded, working on it. He noticed the father staring. "You make pretty girls," he assured him.
"Plural?" he demanded.
"Yeah." He smirked. "Forward knowledge."
"To us you're a graphic novel."
"So you know what's going to be coming up."
"Yes. And when both of you end up dead due to an apocalypse." They both grunted at that. "By someone who has a plan to save humanity."
The Comedian stared at him. "I know someone like that," he said. "I've been tracking him."
"I didn't know when in the timeline here we were," he admitted.
"So... you'd know what was going to happen.... And which one it was?"
"Changing the timeline would probably cause more problems," Xander said. "If we'd be able to. I'm not sure we can."
"I see." He and Rorschach looked at each other then at him. "Spill."
"Ask your daughter."
He got up and went to stop her to talk to her. She sighed and gave him a quick summary of the bad thing coming up. He gaped in horror. Xander nodded when he got stared at. "Damn it!"
"Basically," Xander agreed. He shifted to cross his legs. "If not, you have a daughter running around and I would've went to her. She's known to you even though you don't realize."
He swallowed. "She's not a villain?"
"No. I can honestly say you've even hit on her," he said dryly. He growled. "Sorry but truth." He shrugged. He looked at Rorschach. "It's up to you guys. I can be here for another day and about three quarters before the bracelet brings me back."
"That's not a lot of time," he said.
"You two were saved for last because you'd be the hardest talk," Xander admitted. "Some of their siblings went to military people. One went to a good detective in New York in our world. Two went to worlds with superheros with gifts."
The Comedian thought about that. "I need a drink."
"I hear ya there," Xander sighed, pointing at the dresser. "Airplane bottles?" He smirked and got himself two to gulp down. Rorschach got one for himself. They settled in to talk to the girls while Xander pulled out a book and read. There may be a way... Maybe. Not like they couldn't use more heros on his realm. He texted each of the kids to make sure they were all right. They all said they were so it was good. He got a funny look. "Text message to the others to check up on them." He went back to reading.
"Text message?" Rorschach demanded.
"Yeah, across a cellphone." He showed him. "Willow charmed it to carry across realms."
Melissa sighed. "I want that spell."
"Me too," Vanessa said. "She doesn't have to pay for her cellphone."
The Comedian looked at them. "You two are spoiled that much?"
"No," they said, glaring at him.
"Mom didn't baby us," Vanessa assured him. "We've already gotten into college. We've done more training than some of your coworkers. Or Xander." Xander just smirked and waved. "We're not spoiled in the least."
"But we are teenage girls who enjoy having friends we can call and chat with," Melissa added. "Especially if we can get the other siblings."
"The guy we talked to about cross-realm magic phones said that their plan runs about two hundred a month," Vanessa finished. "We're fifteen. We can't work yet."
"Fine." He stared at his daughter. "You're not the girlish sort?"
"Nope, not usually. Mom tried a lot. I did learn how to be more delicate. Mom thought it should be a dichotomy. I can be a bitch when I need to do something good and then mostly a lady the rest of the time." She shrugged. "I'm not the girlish, giggling, only wants a good boyfriend sort, no. I hope I never become one because eww."
Vanessa nodded. "Xander, if we come back, can we have a puppy?"
"No," he said patiently. "You can play with the stray up the street, girls." They nodded but huffed at that. "Mine do that better." Rorschach laughed at that. "I have two fairly spoiled slayers," he admitted. He looked over the edge of his graphic novel. "They've been begging for pets they won't take care of for years." He went back to reading. "It's part of being a teenage girl."
"What do you two plan on doing?" Comedian asked.
"Well, college kinda sucks," Vanessa said. Her father glared, she could feel it. "I'm taking stupid classes. I hate stupid classes. I have no need to know how to divide and conquer math equations. It's not my field."
"She's in computers," Melissa told him. "I'm in design right now. Me and Crissy. She's a weapons design person. I'm not sure which area I like but I do like robotics and things."
"Christ, you're like Dan's kid," he said dryly.
"His predecessor made some neat stuff, but I'm better," she said with a smug look. "Crissy can make any weapon sit up and beg."
"Her dad's not real sure either," Xander admitted. "With who he is, it's dangerous for her. She's a target."
They nodded. "We understand and so does she," Vanessa assured him. "We could come help the slayers."
"I'm sure you will do great things," Xander assured them. "You don't have to chain yourself to the Council if you don't want to."
"We were trained to be good guys who do heroic, stupid things," Melissa said dryly. "What better way to help?"
"Point but not the discussion for this time," Xander said. "Not until you graduate college, stupid classes and all." They sighed but nodded. So he grinned at the fathers. "Yes, they're going to finish if they're with me." He went back to his reading, putting his feet up. "Van, go scare of whoever's trying to listen in."
She opened the door, glaring at the little troll of a man. "I'll kill you and fuck your innards," she said bluntly. "This is a private conversation, cretin." It fled. She slammed the door. "Eww. I thought the comics about the Justice League had gross retards for villains." Her father cackled at that. "He was! I need a shower, he stared at my tits." Xander coughed. "Sorry, breasts. He lives around enlightened women who are feminists and lesbians," she sighed. Xander nodded behind his comic.
Melissa looked at his reading of choice. "That's an evil tempt," she said dryly. Xander smirked behind it. She knew he was. She shook her head, looking at her sister. "Well."
"Very." They opened the door and glared at the two people there, punching them at the same time. They went flying down the stairs. "Not yours," Vanessa called. "Not for rent, hire, or to be drooled on. I'm a goddess, get it right. Since you don't know what worship is, I'm not taking petitions."
Melissa snickered. "Yes you are, princess." She walked back in and kicked the door shut. "Slimy bastards," she said dryly. "Now I need a shower." Her father was cackling. At the next one he got them. They were sorry and fled for real this time. He shook his head, flopping back down. She smiled at him. "Thank you, Daddy."
"I should paddle," he told her smugly.
"I could be wearing clothes like Buffy or Crissy. She's a leather pants girl and I'm usually a jeans sort. Or Buffy wears skirts on patrol."
"Don't you dare," he said dryly. She smirked at him. He glared back. She smirked harder and pulled out a picture. He moaned. "She's pretty."
"Her daddy is the Punisher," Xander said dryly. "Though, the twins will ruin you for fun if you upset them."
"Good to know," he decided, looking at his girl. She was clearly his. "Weapons?"
"Love 'em," she assured him with a grin. "Mom made sure we got all the weapons training we wanted. Beth's taking flying lessons. I took riding lessons because I needed better balance."
"I took ballet for that," Vanessa admitted. "Then martial arts." Her father nodded at that progression, seeming to smile some. She grinned back. "We're not weak, helpless bimbos by any stretch of the imagination."
"No you're not or I would've fixed it by now," Xander agreed. He looked at Rorschach. "I made sure before we came anywhere near any of the fathers."
"That's a good plan. I still don't know...." He read the comic and then at him. "It's in Spanish."
"I'm from near LA. It's like a second language." He shrugged and went back to reading.
The Comedian paid more attention to it and smirked. He'd be snatching that later. He looked at the girls. "It's still too dangerous here."
"Then we'll go be stunning girls with Xander's help," they said simply.
"You deserved the right to know that we existed and get to know us," Melissa agreed.
He nodded. "It's not like I've ever met any of my kids. Usually I could care less."
She smirked. "Well, it's not like I'm from some woman you ...had while on field assignment, Dad." She stared at him. "Mom made sure I knew as much as I could about you and your past." He nodded at that. "I know very well you view most women as toys. That you enjoy your job now and then." He nodded that was true. "I'm not going to try to change you. Just get to know you before you croak because you were doing stupid hero stuff."
He smirked. "That's a good outlook, girls."
Vanessa shrugged. "We were raised to be realists who fought evil corporations to save a school."
"Their moms were in the same sorority," Xander told them. "Hence the plot."
Rorschach snorted. "Figures. She was an airhead if I remember right."
"Actually, Mom only dropped into airhead when she wanted to," she told him simply with a small smirk. "If she wanted you to underestimate her and think she was harmless."
"Yeah, all the moms could do that real well," Melissa agreed. She stared at her father. "I'd say you could visit...."
"Maybe," he said. "You never know what'll happen sometimes."
"Fate is a fickle thing," she agreed. "And hey, we're not toddlers. We're fully potty trained, past our running into things stage, no more tantrums, don't need to be walked across the street. We're pretty maintenance free kids."
"You definitely are. And if it was safer, I'd gladly keep you here."
She smirked. "I might get spoiled and hit on your friends."
"I'd beat you until you begged to be a nun," he assured her. She giggled and hugged him then sat down again. "Not kidding. You can do better."
"Of course I can. But it's fun sometimes. Stress relief."
"No, my daughter should be a good girl," he told her. "A lady."
She nodded. "Some day I will be. Before then, I'm a teenager. We party, we club, we break curfew."
"Like my slayers, you drive me nuts and I'll beat any of your boyfriends," Xander assured them, still reading. "I did one of the other girls' when he became an ass." He looked over at her. "You know my rules."
"I know. Only sex in the house so you can make sure I'm not turning into an easy slut."
He nodded. "And to make sure you're using condoms so you don't catch anything. Can't fight if you have to scratch the Clap."
She giggled but Vanessa looked grossed out. "Eww."
He smirked. "It's the truth. I'm not birthing any superhero grandkids in the next five years."
"Yes, Uncle Xander," they sighed, shaking their heads. "See, he's very strict," they told the fathers.
"Good," Comedian said with a smirk back. He lit a cigar. His daughter took it and put it out. "Hey!"
"Secondhand smoke is bad for my fabulous, still in training lungs. I can't fight if I'm wheezing from it. Chew snuff if you really need tobacco. Or hell, suck on a popsicle if you need the feeling of a dick in your mouth." She stared at him. He burst out laughing and gave her a hug.
"It does look like the equipment on a few demon species," Xander admitted, putting down his book. "Those people are clearly stupid. Girls, behind us." He got up and opened the door, stopping the person with the gas canister. "Are you totally psychotic?" he demanded. "I mean seriously! Trying to light a fire in a hotel? I know demons who eat people who have more brains than you!" He kicked him down the stairs. The minions came for him but the guys got them.
The girls looked at each other. "Our dads are badass," Melissa said.
"Definitely. My dad moves like a slayer and your dad's not bad for an older guy. Let the ass kicking commence," she decided. She and her dad fought pretty well. Melissa did better with Xander but her father was a bit more wild. Then Xander growled and lost it on someone who tried to throw a grenade.
Crissy appeared in a flash of light, cocking her gun. "Pity that I went from the guys that attacked Dad because he saw him talking to a pretty young thing like me to this." She shot two and they fell down dead. "Fucking idiots. Give up before Xander rips your limbs off." He growled at her. "Down," she said calmly, patting him. "We're good at protecting ourselves." She looked at the staring men. "Hi, I'm Crissy."
"They told us about you," the Comedian said. "Your dad send you?"
"No, I felt the fight and came to jump in. Dad's making big puddle'o bad guy at home for daring to suggest he was dating me. I told him I was coming here." She smirked at him and looked at the officer. "Those idiots were pouring gas," she said with a point at the can. "They're trying to burn my sisters. Apparently rapists are getting really desperate. Or maybe they just liked burned, crispy virgins. Who knows how sick they are."
"They tried to get us a few times but we kicked their butts," Melissa said, pushing her hair back. Vanessa's dad was nowhere in sight but that was okay. He had to hide since he was in his costume. "Can you please arrest them, Officer?" She blinked her big, green eyes at him. "I don't want to have to kill them to protect my virginity." She leaned closer. "They're evil little men who think they can compete with real one." She ran a hand up her dad's arm, earning a dirty look. Vanessa came over to glomp on the officer too, stunning his mind with her breasts. He got the idiots and their gas can out of there.
Xander looked at them. "I hope he doesn't have to pay for it to get your image out of his mind," he said dryly. They smirked at him and went back inside. He looked at the older fighter, shrugging. "They learned that from their mom."
"Clearly." He let Crissy in then the kid walked in with a grin for him. "I didn't know you were a lady."
Xander smirked. "I was possessed by a hyena matriarch, does that count? Beyond that, beauty before age."
The Comedian smirked at him. "Smartass."
"Yes I am. Thank you. I need it to defend against girls." He swatted Vanessa. "I don't need to see bra." She squeaked and buttoned back up her shirt. "Thank you."
"Thank you," her father agreed. "I'm not sure if I want to be proud or drink."
The Comedian looked at him. "I can do both. I'm multi-talented." The girls all giggled. He did swat his daughter. "Next time, feel up Xander. It's creepy because you're my daughter."
"Yes, Daddy." He growled and she gave him an evil smirk. "So, is that blue guy really that well hung like he is in the comics?" Xander burst out cackling, falling onto the couch to roll around.
"I don't know, he hardly ever gets hard. Probably has no style though since he's a scientist." He lit his cigar again and opened the window.
"Eww, tobacco dick thing," Crissy complained.
"Your dad can't yell at me for spanking you," he warned her.
"Maybe but I can shoot you." She smirked back. "We don't mind if you're bi. It's all cool in today's world as long as it's not the neighbor's cat or goat or a dead guy."
"Which is why my slayers can't date vamps like Buffy did," Xander snickered.
"With the dirty mind are you sure they aren't all his?" Rorschach asked.
Xander shrugged. "The moms had DNA tests done. I think they're looking for a reaction."
"Which would be a good paddling," Comedian told them. They only smirked back at him. "You three need more practice sparring."
"We've started to work with the slayers," Crissy assured him. "I'll be working with Dad when I get back there." Xander took her back there and came back. "Hi, Dad. I *totally* helped Melissa gross out her dad." He shook his head but he was smirking because she had told him who it was.
Xander reappeared, sitting down again to check the bracelet then he looked at them. The fathers had disappeared. "Girls?" They came back. "They be back tomorrow?" They nodded. "Cool beans. Shower and hit the bed. I'll take first watch." They went to do that. He noticed his comic was gone and smirked. He hated this timeline. There was no reason for most of the good guys to die. They had more asses that needed kicked.
Xander watched the girls say goodbye and get last hugs. He looked at Rorschach, shaking his hand. "I left their files in the room," he said quietly. That got a nod. "That way you can see if there's any others with bright ideas." He walked over, shaking Comedian's hand. "If you're in our realm some day, look them up."
"I can do that." He looked at the kids. For some reason the kid was too close to him. He gave him a look but the kid gave him a pointed look. He let them leave and found that something had stayed with him. He put it into his pocket.
"He left their files."
"Thanks." He went to grab them. Then he went home to watch some old movie, have dinner, and think for a bit. The comic had shown an upcoming problem and he didn't feel like dying today. Or tomorrow.
Xander reappeared with the girls, letting them go to their rooms. "We're back," he called.
"Which ones?" Willow called.
"Melissa and Vanessa."
"Okay." She made a note. "I popped around to talk to the others. Rick's still cautious but their tests said the same thing ours did. So he's flirting with Rogue at the moment." Xander smirked at her for that information. "His daddy growls worse than you do. But it was so cute!" she cooed with a grin. "Crissy's been here, packed some more, and left again. Including part of the armory. Apparently she's going to settle at NYU for now. Her father's allies will help watch over her." He nodded at that. "The military guys are still fussing. They hated me."
He smirked. "Send me there."
"Gladly! I hate military guys." She waved a hand and sent him.
Xander saw the horrified looks and looked at himself then at them. "I had to go tell Rorschach he had a daughter. It was dangerous. Of course I wore leather pants." They all shook their heads. "How are we?" he asked the twins. They looked pissed.
"They want to remove dad from his post," one said.
"We'd like to thank them with a hand grenade," the other told him.
"Crissy took most of them to her dad's realm to help him. She's going to NYU there while working with him."
"Who's her dad?" John Sheppard asked.
"The Punisher." They all moaned. "The one that's Logan's is in that realm too." He looked at the others. "So? Trey, Beth?"
"Same thing here," Beth said. "Thankfully I only brought the one grenade and the smaller emergency kit."
"Which I thankfully confiscated," John said firmly, giving her a dirty look.
"We could go blow up the Ori," Trey offered. "Or the Genii. Why do all the bad guys end in the hard-I sound?"
"No clue," they all said.
"Huh. Maybe it's a common thread in the language, Dad?"
"Not that I know of but I'll think about that." He smiled. "Still not getting you out of trouble."
Xander sighed. "So, am I taking them home for a bit so you guys can get back to the important jobs?"
John looked at him. "We watched those DVD's. A bit grainy."
"Willow's uber wicca and hacker but she can't set a TIVO," Trey told him. "Sorry."
"Not a problem. It gave us plenty of ideas." He looked at the kid then at Xander. "They're badasses more than I am."
"They were trained that way and some of the girls are worse." He smirked. "I was just in the Watchmen universe with two of them."
Rodney moaned, shifting some in his seat. "That's nearly evil of them."
"They had a point. I have no idea if Willow's fixed that yet."
"No clue," Trey admitted. "But...." He smiled. "Do you think she can get someone to talk to someone?"
"Text her," he said bluntly.
"The general took our phones," Beth pouted.
Xander summoned them and handed them plus the batteries over. Then his. "Those are your safety equipment," he complained, glaring at the doorway. He let Trey summon the general. "That is their safety equipment so they can call if they need evacuated," he said bluntly. "Touch it again, Rosenburg's really good with memory charms." The general started to splutter. Willow appeared with a letter. "From?"
"Who you'd expect." She beamed at him. "Some people are overly happy to get some geniuses that they can train up for the specific needs." She handed the general the paper. "We will protect the girls like they're ours and Xander is our scary bitch member when he hyena's out." She hugged the kids then disappeared.
Trey grinned at his dad. "Willow's pretty cool for being a bit strange. I have no idea why lesbians are like that. Or even if all lesbians are wicca cat lovers with massive chocolate needs who blush at flirting."
"No, that's just her," Xander told him.
"So what are normal lesbians like?"
"Like every other woman. A bit different from everyone else," Xander said simply. Trey grinned at that. "You'll learn, kiddo. Especially since your dad is one of those people who likes to study people." He looked at the pale general. He took it to read, then handed it to McKay. "If you want them." He looked at the general again. "We're sorry to have stepped on feet but it's not right for us to make decisions without their input for their kids. And hey, even less nagging about grandkids if they're getting any."
"Not us," John said with a grin for his little girl. "I called home and my brother about freaked out."
She snickered at that. "I love to freak people out."
Xander smirked at her. "We got attacked and Melissa totally sex-fucked the cop's head when he showed up to break it up by cooing at her dad and teasing his arm with a finger. He got so upset." She giggled at that. He grinned. "Their mommies taught them that."
"It will not happen," Rodney told his girls.
"Agreed," John said.
"Flirt only if you have to get out of a cell then knock them out," Daniel ordered. "If they touch you, they're fair game to kill."
"Sure, Dad," he quipped with a grin. "Can I do some more training? I'm not as good in hand-to-hand as some of the girls."
"Sure you can," he agreed with a smile. "In between classes and work." He beamed and wiggled in his chair.
"Doctor Jackson," the general started.
Xander looked at him. Then at Daniel. "If you have to quit, we at the Council would *love* to have someone to translate the old, musty books we have. The girls like to tease him like a little brother. You'd have a welcome spot."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"The same as these two would. McKay might even be able to keep Willow from doing the wrong spell at the wrong time by figuring out what she was doing." He smirked at John. "We need more field watchers and trainers. I'm self-taught."
"I can see that offer. I'd miss flying."
"We have girls who have to travel all over the world. I see no problem in assigning you one of the wandering ones as your slayer."
John smirked. "Thanks, kid."
"Eeh, I like you guys from what I've seen on the show. How accurate was it?" Rodney moaned. He smirked. "Cool." He looked at the general again. "Kids?"
"Staying," they said in unison, hugging their dads. Rodney grinned at his girls.
"You two should suck up to Ronon to help your training," John teased with an evil smirk.
"He's very tall," Gray said, looking at him with her big, blue eyes.
"And muscled," her sister Trishy said. "Plus he has grabbable hair."
"Mom did talk about having good hair that could be grabbed during it," Trey agreed.
"No," Rodney told them. "No flirting with Ronon. Treat him like an uncle but no flirting with anyone on the base, girls. You're much too young."
Xander snickered. "Girls their age date, McKay."
"Not on base they won't be," he said firmly. "None of them are bright enough or good enough for my girls."
"Dad, who was that yummy, cute young guy with you when we met?" Beth asked, leaning on her dad's arm.
He thought back. "Lorne?"
"Is that who it was? He's cute."
"You're underage. He'd never go for it," he assured her. "Or else I'd kill him." She smirked at him. "When you're older you can date. No sex but you can date."
"Xander's rules said only sex in the house so he knows we're using protection and not turning into robo sluts," Trey told him. He looked at his father.
"You're too young for that," he said, blushing and coughing to clear his throat. "When you're not, I'll ask Cam to introduce you to some nice daughters of some people his age."
"Cool. We learned how to club from the slayers." Xander moaned, shaking his head.
Beth cackled. "Buffy taught us."
"I'm so spanking her when I get back," he decided, looking up. "Willow, paddle Buffy for that." He looked at her. "That's between you and your dad if you're staying with him."
"Teen clubs only," he said firmly. Someone opened the door and stomped in. "General," he said, standing up and saluting.
"Jack," Daniel said with a smile. "This is my son Trey. That's John's daughter Beth, and Rodney's girls Trishy and Gray."
O'Neill waved down the salutes. "Relax. I got chewed a new one about their mothers." He looked at the kid. "You're...."
"Harris. The stork." He grinned. "Chaos source of the universe," he quipped.
"Clearly," John said dryly. "Sir, he gave us DVD's of a show of us in another realm or something that are factual up to the point in our timeline."
Jack smirked at the kid. "Nice one."
"Not like I want wraith down here." He shrugged. "And we liked Beckett too much to let him die." He looked at the girls. "You can tell him. Willow cleared him." They handed over their folders. Trey did the same after looking at his dad and getting a nod. He smiled. "Good. Need me?"
"We'll come visit, Uncle Xander," Trey said with a grin.
"Cool beans. Whenever you guys want. You know that. Same as you know you can fall back in case of emergency. That's what the phones are for." He looked up. "Done." He disappeared.
The general read over the folders, looking at the girls. Then at Trey. "Danny, he's in your department?"
"Not fully but I can see him joining."
"Good. Girls, what do the fathers say?"
"Atlantis is dangerous but we're needed," John said. "I don't know, sir. I don't want her hurt, or them hurt, but I don't want to be separated."
"Welcome to Fatherhood, Sheppard and McKay. Half the time it's a choice out of sucky choices." He looked at them. "They can go. They have the skills to be trained to work with just Atlantis." McKay smirked. "Even if Sheppard's daughter is a biologist."
John smirked at her. "I'm proud of her though. Even if she did want to blow up someone earlier."
"Mom liked explosions," she said.
"Clearly." He patted her on the back, getting a grin.
"It's cleared," Landry admitted, handing over the letter. "Rosenburg brought that."
"We like that team. They're effective and do what we used to do. Only with demons by any means necessary." He looked at the kids. "Settle in. Sheppard, McKay, you have a few days off to introduce them to family."
"Sir, Sam Carter was not pleased," Trey told him. "Beth said Xander threw her off a pier for her huffing."
"Damn," he muttered. "I'll talk to her when you guys go back." They all nodded. "Good. Go introduce them around, people." They saluted and left. He looked at Landry. "Hank, they're parents. They'll fight harder to keep Atlantis and us safer because of it. They made sure they had a way to get back to Harris or Rosenburg. Plus the president likes this plan because he's embarrassed that he knew their mothers." Landry moaned. "One nearly got recruited for here actually. Back in the early days." He smiled. "It'll be okay. They're not babies."
"Fine. I still don't think it's safe. I wouldn't have brought mine."
"Yours would've kicked butt and made them sorry by using those scary needles she inherited from Frasier." Landry snickered at that, nodding. "These kids are training just as much and I'm sure their fathers are going to keep them on a training schedule. And hey, maybe they have some sort of help against the Ori or the Genii."
"Maybe but Harris creeps me out."
"It's what he's been called to do. He's protected this planet just as many times as we have." Landry nodded. "So leave him alone for now.'
"Fine. We'll watch it for now. Part of that was a notice that Carter was being replaced by Richard Woolsey." Jack shuddered, shaking his head. "So they'll have to deal with him."
"I'm sure he already knows." He smirked. "Let me help Danny introduce the kid around. Someone has to teach the kid about hockey." He left, going to find his buddy and talk to his kid. The kids were geeking out over some comics but the fathers were looking fondly tolerant. They could straighten the kids out pretty soon he decided. That way they were their fathers' kids instead of their mothers'.
Xander heard the door be knocked on and went that way, wiping off his face. "Hold on," he said at the next knock. "It's a long hike." He finally got to the door, looking at the man on the other side. He was bruised, had a cut lip, a black eye. "Hi. Activated it at the last moment?" He let him inside without an invite, earning a smirk. "The girls are in the training area. I was lifting weights before I had to fix the furnace again. Did the other one come?"
"He said no."
"That's his thing then," he decided. "She read it too." He pointed. "Ladies," he called.
"Eww, not when we're this sweaty," Vanessa called.
They walked in and he looked at them. "You can both do better." They smirked at him. "If not, I'll beat your asses myself until you do." They squealed and pounced him to hug. "Get off," he complained.
"Yes, Daddy," Melissa said with a grin. "Come help us. Bethany, Tamara, this is my Dad. The Comedian." They smiled and waved. "He's a badass of the old school but he likes girls to be more ladylike."
He looked them over, nodding. "If only I was younger."
"I'd stab you a few dozen times in the crotch," Xander quipped. "Then gloat and add tequila." He walked off. "Go for it, girls. He can protect himself even against a slayer." They squealed and pounced. He got them back but corrected what he was seeing. He texted Buffy to let her know, which didn't please her. She warned him to keep him on a leash. No homicidal or sexual assaults to draw attention to them. He sent back a 'it'll be fine' message and got back to his weights.
"Kid, you need this too," he called.
"Let me finish this," Xander said. "I slacked yesterday due to a back strain." He finished up his reps and went to get his ass kicked. It wasn't like he was as trained as the girls were. He had learned some but not all. He saw the predatory gleam and smirked. So maybe he could make this more fun. "You'll teach me too?" he asked with a smirk.
"Of course I will." He attacked and the boy fought back but it was a good, purring sort of fighting that made his blood hot.
Melissa watched then looked at her sister and the slayers. "I think Uncle Xander just hit on my dad."
"Yup," Tamara said. "Xander only likes them dangerous. That's why we were worried about the new girlfriend Willow brought back from saving your moms' school. We thought he might steal her for being evil." Xander cackled at that. His sparring partner got him harder but he kicked him in the nuts and smirked. "Way to go, Xander," she cheered.
"You can pay for that later," the Comedian smirked.
"Sure, if you can catch me, you can woo me. After all, a boy likes more than the rough stuff sometimes." He leg swept him since he was distracted and stared down at him. "You look good on your back." He walked off to get a drink.
Melissa shook her head. "Well, Daddy, he's good. He likes them slightly evil and dangerous. You two should fit really well. You have my blessing to make him squeal in many keys many times a day." She and the others ran off giggling to share that news.
Xander handed him a bottle of gatoraide. "Yes, they're horny teenage girls. We have no idea what causes that syndrome but it only happens in girls." He took a drink and got attacked again. He smirked and fought back. "Patrol tonight if you wanted to come on the fun walk with violence."
"Sure, I can do that. Better than golf any day."
"Golf is only fun if you play with exploding balls." The other guy moaned at that, earning a smirk. "Awww, are yours?"
Xander winked. "Only if you beat me." He ducked a blow and kicked him in the side and got another drink then came back to it. "I've been going since four when the girls got me up to get my computer to check their daily cartoons." The Comedian snickered at that. "Seriously. Your daughter does not have the gift of stealth by any means. She tripped over my boots and landed on top of my feet." He struck back and it was better. He could still see that predatory look but this one would respect him for what he could do. Even if he wasn't as good yet. "Have to warn you, my last girlfriend was a nympho who needed more than a sub's worth of horny sailors weekly."
"Good to know." He got the kid pinned. "Now what're you going to do?" he smirked. Xander wiggled and he moaned. "Dick teases get punished."
"Maybe later. I'm not into spanking games but maybe some light bondage now and then." That got a kiss. It was good too so he was going to be a happy slayerette for years.