Wedding Bells.
 
 
 
 
 
 

John Sheppard looked at the headlines of the local paper. 'YES THERE WILL BE A GAY WEDDING AT THE WHITE HOUSE!'  "Wow, could they have used a smaller font type," he complained, waking his dog up.  He showed it to the dog, who huffed and went back to sleep.  He earned a pet with that.  "I agree.  We'll have to give Xander back to the old Chief of Staff since he liked parties so much."

He turned the page, hoping for news other than Xander's relationship.  Pity he didn't get any but there was always hope.  "Damn, there's nothing happening in the world but him."  He shook his head, having Atlantis beam the paper beside Willow.  She'd fume, Rodney would calm her down, they'd have sex, then Rodney would be happier for their later meeting.  It worked well for him.

Blackhawk looked up at the sound of him eating, putting out a small whimper.  "Oh, you so mooch," he complained, but dropped a piece of sausage.  Xander's dogs had taught him how to give in to begging.  Fortunately his dog did it rarely or he'd have to invest in obedience training, which would bring him out of hiding and make the press stalk him again.  Which he hated.  So Blackhawk could beg for now.

***

Buffy watched the news.  "Wow, even the bigot channel has the big gay wedding on it."

Jack snickered from beside her.  "Of course.  It gives them something to complain about."  He took a kiss.  "Turn that crap off before it rots my mind please?"

"Give me something else to do instead?" she hinted with a grin.

"You clearly took the same lessons in back breaking that you sister did," he said dryly, but he complied.  His wife was amazing.  He could give in to her wanton desires.  Again.  She giggled and it was worth it.

***

Xander walked out of the white house on his way to the cars.  He had to be fitted for another new suit, which he hated.  Ezra wasn't even here to make him look hot.  So this shopping trip sucked.  He made it almost to the car before the reporters outside the white house started to shout questions.

"Sir!  Are you going to pick out the wedding outfits soon!"

"Are you getting a new tux for the wedding!"

"Sir, what about the report that Congress is being lazy!" another yelled.

Xander looked at them.  "Calm down and breathe, people, before you pass out.  It's too cold and your drool will stick to the cement."  They pouted.  "No, nothing on the wedding.  I have to get a suit for the dinner that's coming up."  He slid into the car and closed the door.  Tony got in to drive him.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Can we run some over?"

"No.  Sorry.  Not even the Fox News people."

"Damn.  Though I think it was nice that E! News went to talk to a few of my former lovers to get the scoop on how I was in bed.  I've gotten wedding presents from a few of them."

"From jail?" Tony asked dryly.

"Yeah.  One had her minion order us really expensive cheese and stuff."  Tony groaned, shaking his head.  He backed the car down to the turn around, used it, then drove off through the gates.  "Where did Ezra say I have to shop?"

"His store."

"They always get my pants too tight."

"That may be Ezra's idea," Tony said dryly.

"Maybe."  Xander shrugged.  "I'm happy as long as I'm comfy.  Not like I'm meant to be a style icon."

"Too true, Xander.  You're one of the least fashionable gay men I've ever met."  Xander snickered, shaking his head.  "Are you going to feed the parasites anything on the wedding?"

"We haven't made any decisions yet."

"Ah.  So no planning anything?"

"No.  Ezra is, of course, in charge of the clothes and color scheme.  I think I'm in charge of the guest list for my side, the invitations, and the site."

"Could be."  He changed streets.  Xander's headache looking face stopped.  "Almost had a vision?"

"Yeah, felt like it."  He looked around and a field looked really bright to him.  "Go back."  He pointed.  "There.  I don't know why but go there."  They got out of the car and walked across the grass.  "This is where I found the dogs," he realized, looking around.  He kept looking until he nearly walked over something.  "Um, Tony, landmine."  Tony called that in and explosives teams pulled up. Xander pointed.  "There."  They found it and disarmed it before removing it.

"I don't know why but I felt I had to come here, guys."  They nodded and did a metal detector search over the rest of the area.  So they were still there when the heavy canvas bag fell from the sky.  Xander looked up at the helicopter.  "Did someone rob a bank?"  The team all nodded.  Tony called that in, since DC was a no fly zone, and got someone to shoot the idiots down if they didn't land.  Xander looked at the bag, then at them.  They all shook their heads and put it into the truck.  "Thanks, guys."  He ran back to the car and dove inside because he had seen a news van.

Tony strolled over, getting back in to drive.  "They didn't catch you on camera."

"I don't want to be known for those things."

"I can understand that.  I wouldn't either."  He pulled back into traffic, heading for the clothing shop.  It was a wild ride being on Xander's guard detail sometimes.

***

Xander walked into the store and his fitters all pouted.  "What?"

"You're late," one said.

"I found a landmine.  Sorry."

"That's all right.  The special fitter is in today.  He's waiting on you."

"Will he not make the seat too tight?"

"No, he won't make it any tighter than you want."  The clerk smiled and showed him back there.  He handed Tony a magazine.  "Here, it might be a while.  He's a bit...fussy."

"Now and then," Tony agreed.

Xander walked into the fitting area and paused.  "How much did you bribe them?"

"Quite a lot.  You seem to favor this designer yet you always thought them frivolous."

"Ezra likes them.  He likes how they look on both of us.  Therefore I wear what he likes."

The older man looked at his hand.  "No ring?"

"I proposed to him and bought him something massive yet tasteful.  How did you manage to get into DC without anyone knowing?"

"It was not that hard.  We all have our ways."  He stood up, looking him over.  "You look good."

"I've started to jog on the treadmill to wear me out the nights I don't have anyone to drool on."

"Hmm."  He pulled him closer suddenly to kiss him.  Xander hit his emergency stone, waving for help to get free of him.

Vin looked then pulled the guy off him.  "Who the hell are you?" he demanded dryly.

"I believe you'll find that is the ex boyfriend who sent me the sizeable check for the wedding's cost," Ezra said dryly, staring at him.  "Xander?"  He came over, kissing him.  "Hmm.  Chinese for lunch?"

"Yup."  He grinned, resting his head on Ezra's shoulder.  "See, I don't need to go backwards through my black book.  I have more than enough right here."

His ex smirked.  "He does look quite fit and manly, though he talks like one of you."

Xander smirked.  "I can kick your ass."

"Dear, you have not been able to do that yet."

Xander snorted then attacked, kicking him backward.  The older man laughed but Xander was nearly kicking his butt when Chris tackled him and handcuffed him.  "You don't touch the president," he said bluntly.  "Or anything that's Ezra's.   He shoots you for that."  He hauled him up.  "Xander, who is he?"

"Um, Sonat Dobrehev."

"The damn Russian General who was selling nukes?" Chris demanded, glaring at him.

"Yeah, he's the one I got that sub-nuclear thing from that I had to use on that demon that time."  He looked at Ezra.  "He wanted to make sure I was happy I think."

"I believe you are.  Do you doubt?" Ezra asked casually.

Xander blushed.  "No.  Just that you're insane to want me."

Ezra smirked.  "Love is a known cause of insanity."  He took a kiss.

"I've got cavities," Buck complained.  Xander kicked him, making him yelp and hop around holding his leg, even though they hadn't stopped kissing.

"Ez, he doesn't have his appendix anymore," Chris complained.  "Quit using your tongue to check for it."  He glared at him.  "See what happens when you make Ezra jealous?"  The man sighed, nodding.  "Now, wish them a happy marriage."

"Of course I do.  He can also keep that check, though I was not the one who sent that."  He winked.  "You have a gift card waiting."

Xander huffed.  "Suit shopping, he was waiting on me in the fitting area," Xander complained.  He took one last kiss then went back to where he had been, startling the clerk.  "My ex?  Really?"

"He paid very well to come see you for a few private moments, sir.  How did you do that?"

"One of the witches at the Council made it for emergency leave-taking.  I handed my ex to my fiancee.  He was most amused."

"Pity."  He came in to fit him and make sure the new suits looked hot enough to stand up to Standish's picky vision for his boy's clothes.   He was more picky than most starlettes over their gowns for some award they didn't deserve.

Tony leaned in a few minutes later.  "What happened?" he asked with an evil smirk.

"My ex bribed them to see me privately for a few minutes.  When he tried to keep me by inhaling my lungs, I used my emergency transport stone to let Ez have him."

"Ah.  How many others might want to check up on your happiness?"

Xander shrugged.  "Who's already checked in?  And don't discount some of the higher demons.  They respect me more than a lot of the slayers do for how I've helped and how fair we are."

"Sure," he decided.  "Do you maybe have a list of ex's?"

"Ask Chris?"

"I can do that."  He sat down in there to call him.  "Larabee, DiNozzo.  Can we make a list of ex's who might still be checking in?  He was *who*?"  He growled.  "How did he get into the US, much less DC?"

"I asked, he said they had their methods.  Which probably means the airstrip in Alexandria that's privately owned or a cargo ship."

Tony looked at him.  "How do you know that?"

"How do you think I got the slayers out of places when they didn't have papers?  Or things for the arsenals to where they needed to go?  You can't always find a handy demon who'll hand it over reliably for you."  He shot him a smirk.  "There's ways."

Tony listened to Chris tell him what they knew about those.  "I think we need to get a list of those and have a conference, yeah.  Thanks.  You are?  Decent.  I'll tell Gibbs.  Thanks, Larabee.  Easy and safe days, man."  He hung up.  "We're all going to be talking about your ex's."

"You might tell Gibbs that redhead that tried to keep him and Evan the other day was one.  She was a pretty nice assassin.  Only took out dictators and human rights violators that the UN protested against."

Tony texted that to Gibbs' phone.  He couldn't text back but he could read it and Evan would get it too since Gibbs was with him in the Senate today.  He sighed at the message Evan sent back.  "The VP said it figured with the way she wanted him and cooed over Gibbs at the same time.  She had to be evil or a slut."

"Well, she was a bit kinky," Xander offered.  "But pretty monogamous."

"Does Ezra know about them?"

"Yeah, he asked."  He grinned.  "I told him all about all of my ex's whenever he wanted in case we ran into one.  I'm very realistic about the type of women that liked me, Tony."

"Good.  Thank you."  He texted that to Larabee so he could pump Ezra for information.  This was going to be insane until they were married.

The clerk coughed.  "How long before you decide what you're doing for the wedding?" he asked quietly.

Xander shrugged then winced at the tightness across his shoulders.  The clerk made marks to have that fixed for him.  "That's up to Ezra.  My idea was a quiet wedding and then a really loud party."

"I'll send him an email then, see if he has any plans so we can help him work on them."  Xander looked at him.  "We are his favorite designers."  He smiled.

"You are," Xander agreed.  "Even if you do try to put me in things that're too tight in the pants."  He made marks to fix that as well.  "Add an extra inch?  I'm building muscles in my thighs for some reason."  The clerk got him a bigger pair of pants and fit those to him.  That was easier.  The jacket ended up needing some major fitting so they'd have to come back in a few weeks.  Xander paid and they left, getting dinner at some random fast food place.

***

Evan looked at Gibbs when his phone rang, taking it when all the text message got was an odd look.  He read it and responded then handed it back.  "I want in on the conference you and Larabee will have about them.  Just in case some of the others want to try for him again through me," he said quietly.  "It was bad enough when the bad girls in Pegasus used to capture us to make John come rescue us so they could have him and Ronon."

"Do we think any will want to come to the wedding?"

"Yeah.  Probably.  One kidnaped Larabee's team to pout at them for Xander and Ezra not being together at the time."

Gibbs shook his head.  "At least I never dated that badly."

"I usually pout because I never get any of the skanky bad girls."

"Feel lucky.  They hit you on the head with golf clubs and things," Gibbs quipped.

"I am.   My next one might shoot me."  He looked at the staring majority leader.  "Sorry, one of Xander's ex's just showed up to make sure he was happy with his boyfriend."

She nodded.  "Why is that important?"

"He's a former arms dealer who dealt in nuclear and sub-nuclear weapons," Gibbs said.  "Including a stolen Russian sub once."

She shuddered.  "I'm starting to like them being together more and more."  She got back to the present discussion.  That was too mind warping to consider.  Especially while the senate was in session.

***

Chris and Ezra stepped off the plane, Chris watching over him.  He nodded at the guards there to pick them up.  "Thanks, guys."

"What happened?" the lead Secret Service agent asked.  They had worked with him before.

"Two of Ezra's ex's decided to get with a few of Xander's and they decided to form a support group.  They destroyed six buildings in Denver so they could rob their safes to buy a really nice wedding present."  The lead agent whimpered, shaking his head.  "Then they decided to take Ezra hostage with Vin to talk about their plans for the wedding.  Nathan even had an 'oh hell no' moment over this one."

"It was quite amusing to watch him throw a girlish fit," Ezra admitted quietly.

"At least they're out of harm's way now," the other agent said.

Chris glared at him.  "Two have sent massive presents to the ATF office while in jail for their wedding."

"Oh.  Never mind then, sir."  He walked them to the baggage claim and then to the car.  Ezra had a few bags.  "Are you staying for a while, Agent Standish?"

"Yes I believe I'm being assigned here permanently," he said with a smirk.

"The rest of us will be here in a few weeks," Chris assured them.  "Our director thought it'd be safer if we all guarded the happy couple."  Ezra gave him a mean looking smirk.  He smirked back.  "JD's going to interrupt anything you do for *weeks* for them taking down his favorite comic shop."

"It was not my idea nor my intention," Ezra pointed out patiently.  "Besides, they stole everything inside to give to Xander because they know he likes comics."

"We saw," Chris assured him.  They got him into the car and the two Secret Service agents got in to drive.  "How is he today?"

"Hiding, sir.  The dogs are sick and at the vet's so he's moping.   Apparently they shared an old, stringy squirrel from the yard and it didn't agree with their systems."

"Sick?" Ezra asked.

"No.  We found the remains and they made sure it wasn't rabid or anything.  Just old, stringy, and greasy-skinned."  That got a nod.  "The sort that Blackhawk used to bark at all the time."

"I remember them," Chris agreed.  "I never understood why the Park Service people got them with those greasy things."

"Flea medicine," the second agent said.

"That makes more sense then."  He relaxed, looking at Ezra.   "Your condo?"

"I still own it," he assured him happily.  "I'll rent out my one in Denver for right now.  That will also give us a place outside the White House to run away to when things get on our nerves."

"That works," Chris agreed.  "Plus it'll calm some huffy people down."

"Hopefully."  They pulled onto Pennsylvania Avenue and he looked at the White House.  "Is that smoke?"

"There's a White House barbeque today, sir," the second agent said.  "It's in the garden."

"I was hoping it wasn't another lamp."  They pulled in and parked.  Chris got out and Gibbs sighed in relief.  He got out and smiled.   "Let me put my things upstairs."

"Of course," Gibbs agreed.  "DiNozzo, help him."

"On it, boss."  He came to get two of the five bags.  "Thank God, he's been moping all day," he said once they were in the private elevator.

Ezra smiled.  "His dogs being sick would make him pout."  He put things down, nodding at George.  "Don't unpack.  I'll mostly be at my condo."

"Very well, sir.  A suit for dinner?  The president said you'd be going out tonight?"

"Then unpack my black and gray one please."  George the valet nodded and did that.  He and Tony went down to the grilling.  There was indeed a huge cloud of smoke.  Chris was working on the coals since Xander couldn't cook on a grill even if he could do it on an open pit.  Which he was but some people wanted grilled things.  He got a bottle of water and walked over to help Xander turn the spit full of meat.  "Beef?"

Xander grinned and took a quick kiss.  "Beef.  We had some chickens earlier but they got snatched already."  He pointed.  "We have a pig too."

"I can see that."  He made him turn that duty over to one of the cooking school students that were in helping the White House kitchen today.  They could easily wear out their arms.  Xander got his bottle of soda and they sat down in a quiet, out of the way, spot to let Xander grin at him and rest against his side.  "Are the furry children fine?"

"Yup, just have the runs.  They'll have to stay overnight."  He sipped his soda, shifting a bit closer.  "I planned for us to have dinner out tonight so we can try somewhere new."

"I've already had George take out my suit."  He smiled.  "Is it good?"

"It's supposed to be very good and one of the ambassadors suggested it."

"Hmm.  We'll see."

"He said they catered his daughter's reception."

"Ah.  A reason behind it."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Then we can definitely consider that.  Are we making plans?"

"I have my guest list made out and figured we'd have about a hundred fifty?  A small, private gathering?"

"I would adore that.  Then a lavish reception?"

"Or a party the next night for everyone who wasn't there.  That way the politicians won't feel left out."

"Either might be doable."  He took his hand to kiss the back of.  "Relax.  I'm back and things will go back to normal again."

"The generals are pushing me to make some decisions that seem pretty wrong," he said quietly.  "Jon's unable to take calls on his city.  So is John.  So is Jack at the outpost."

"We'll talk about that before dinner."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "We should reappear before people start to wonder."

"Two of the Secret Service guys have already glanced in on us to make sure we're not doing something naughty."

Ezra took another kiss.  "That will be later," he assured him.  Xander grinned back and they got up, taking their drinks back to the main area.  The guards relaxed again and Xander got back to his cooking pit.  The student didn't do a bad job on the spit either. Xander cut off some of the done meat and let that go so the rest could cook faster.  The grill was finally not smoking excessively so it was better.  The people were happier.

It was almost a snark free weekend outside of two female agents who complained that they'd do better for the president's bed than Ezra would.  Xander found out subtly who they were and told Chris that they wanted to know why they couldn't be ex's.  Chris gave him a scary smirk and talked to Gibbs, which got them assigned to the small task force that would find all of Xander's ex's, and Ezra's former dates as well, to make sure none of them were going to cause problems for the wedding.  Because everyone was worried about what assassins and arms dealers would do to the wedding ceremony if they tried to help.

***

Chris sat down across from Gibbs at the table.  They were at the farm.  Chris had already mailed payment to John for the rent.  The horses were back and in the paddock getting reacquainted with their herdmates, who were more than happy not to be alone.  The others on the teams were with them.  There was beer, crabs, and french fries for JD.  The two new agents were included since they were going over the dossiers.  JD and Tony would brief Evan in the morning.  Ezra had given his list and what he knew about them.  Xander had willingly handed over his old journals so they could browse for names.  JD had spent all afternoon looking them up.  Chris cracked his first crab leg and nodded.  "Go ahead and start, JD."

"Sure, Chris."  He turned on the tv he had hooked his laptop to, pulling up the first dossier.  No one said anything about his computer's background picture for the moment it showed.  "First... we have the one who took our team hostage to pout at us.  Current whereabouts, Paris.  Buying a lot of very high end chocolates from what Interpol could tell."  He put that up beside her picture.

"What does she do?" one of the new ones asked.

"She's the daughter of the Albanian ambassador, runs weapons, and kidnaped my whole team to pout at us because she thought Ezra had dumped Xander," Buck told her.  The agent gave him an odd look.  The others all nodded.  "Chocolates, JD?"

"Yeah, we think it's her wedding present since the jeep with the vehicle mounted weapons system she was bidding for went to someone else on our list."

"They should register," Nathan said dryly.  "That way people know what to actually get them."

"The invitations are going to say to donate to the pound or a few other charities," Chris said.  "That way no one has to write thank you notes."  He ate a bite of crab.  "Any chance we can keep her in Europe long enough?"

"Anything on how she got into the country the last time?" Gibbs asked before JD could answer.

"Yes, we have their usual ports, as supplied by Xander having to sneak weapons to the Council's armory.  Plus girls that needed evacuated but he didn't have papers for.  I've got that after this, Gibbs."

"That's fine.  Any idea when she's coming back?"

"Yes.  She's booked a ticket to La Guardia next week.  Interpol said they don't have anything to hold her on.  All the reports of her arms dealing are hearsay to them."  They all grimaced at that.  Interpol wasn't always cooperative.  "I've talked with Fornell about her and two others so they can meet her and send her off immediately."

"That's fine," Gibbs agreed.  "Saves me some running, kid.  She's how high on the danger scale you guys worked out earlier?"

"Three.  We have a few who rank in the eight and up category and two that defy all that.  Plus three demon lords who will gift them because they respect and like Xander for all he's done.  They've sent them to Faith from what she said."  He changed dossiers.  "This is one of the eight and up.  He is fairly dangerous.  He actually kidnaped Xander twice in Africa.  He was seen in DC a few months back.  He's on our terror watch list and the old director of the ATF let him go and erased his file."

They all sighed and shook their heads.  "So far he's bought them two matching katanas that are old but gorgeous.  He hasn't sent it yet so we're assuming that he's adding something else.  We know he's been talking to some specialty weapons makers.  Usually they do things like odd grenades."  Gibbs shook his head, taking a sip of beer.  "We think he's going to add some as a wedding night safety kit."  He changed.  "This one defies our scale.  He's fully evil; a psychopath, kidnaped Xander before he went to Africa, about three months before, and he still thinks he loves him.  He shot three of his minions recently for telling him about Ezra and the news going on right now."

"Isn't he a wannabe evil dictator that's started a militia?" McGee asked.

"Yup and he has hackers, though he's rated as a lesser hacker himself.  I'll be helping you go over the white house systems to make sure they can't be compromised by anyone less than McKay's level."

"Sure, I've worked on Evan's system a few times when Rosenburg hacked it on him."  He ate a bite of claw meat.  "Did they date or did he just kidnap Xander?"

"Just kidnaped him but he thought he was in great love with him.  He's having Romeo and Juliette fantasies," Tony told him.  "I saw a letter from him the other day and asked Xander who he was.  I took it to have it scanned a second time."

"At least Anya's not still alive," McGee sighed, looking at Gibbs.  "She was the one he nearly married."

"I heard.  Mrs. O'Neill told me about her.  Thankfully she's at peace."  He sipped his beer.  He was starting to get a headache.  "How many people are on our lists?"

"If we only concentrate on the ones he dated, seventeen.  If we concentrate on the evil ones who want him, forty-three."

Gibbs shuddered.  "I'm so glad I had that beaten out of me by the Marines."

Tony nodded.  "And that no one beyond the old pro-tem director of the ATF tried to get us to date."

Gibbs looked at him.  "If you had, I wouldn't have cared, but I would've smacked you both on the head for the headaches you'd cause me."

"Was that forty-three just on Xander's side?" Buck asked dryly.

"Yup," JD said with a grin.  "We have three on Ezra's that are in jail and four that aren't.  Generally we get all his evil ex's one way or another."

"Generally after we rescue him from them," Chris agreed, making the others nod.  Vin was snickering.  "He have any stalkers?"

"Outside that one church who's spamming him daily with 'you can get right with God' messages?"  He smirked.  "By the way, hacked them to stop it and take his email address out of their systems, plus block them from sending more.  They are a demon church.  They are peaceful demons, but they're fundamentalist baptists.  Xander was worried about them going after a few local churches that were taking up the Vatican's call.  Apparently they had a slayer show up in their church during service to warn them not to go after the bigots in the local churches.  They agreed that would be against God's words.  That they can protest and picket them instead.  So that may be handled outside of them spamming and being anti-gay."

"That's nice to know," Ziva said.  "Why would demons go to that sort of faith?"

JD shrugged.  "Don't know.  Apparently they felt it was right for them.  They have a real fire and brimstone approach.  I've listened to one of their minister's sermons.  He told them to live the good life or they'd go back to where they had escaped from.  The description sounded worse than most preacher s' do about hell.  I guess he'd know."

She nodded.  "Possibly."  He moved onto the next one and she moaned.  "I know him."

"Did you know him before he dated Xander or after?" Buck asked her with a grin.

"I trained with him.  He was over my physical training when I was still new to the Mossad."  She took a drink of her beer.  That was a bad thing.  "Can I warn my superiors about him, Gibbs?"

"Please, all of them in case they can help," Chris ordered.  "Tonight if you can."  She nodded and they went over him too.

The two new agents learned why they didn't want the president by the time they got to the agents who had went dirty and still wanted one of them to be theirs.  They got the point very well and realized that Standish was better for him.

***

John was kicked back in the rec room on Atlantis when the news changed topics.  "Why do you think that the president's upcoming wedding has started off a massive push to arrest arms dealers?" the anchor asked the one with the story.

"Well," she said with a smile for the camera.  "There have been rumors and jokes around DC for years that President Harris dated assassins and arms dealers.  Even he's made jokes about it.  But perhaps that wasn't actually a joke."  She shuffled her notes then looked at the camera again.  "There is presently a small task force to deal with about thirty-eight names.  Big names in the underground communities.

"Searching some of them out have led us back to Denver's ATF office, and Agent Standish's team.  A few have led us to well known names on the watch lists.  Some have led us back to Africa and Asia when President Harris was off finding and training slayers in their native environments."  She smiled again.  "Perhaps they think they'll try to interrupt the wedding of the century?"

"Is there more than rumors about his dating past?" the anchor asked.

"Just the quips that he could have been dating assassins.  Now, we have talked to a few sources, none all that willing to talk to us, who have confirmed that a few are past girlfriends of President Harris.  One of the senior slayers mentioned one when she said she liked Agent Standish more than her.  Another of his associates at the Council had made a quip when the first rumors of them dating started with another name on the task force's  list.

"I know President Harris himself said that he dated a few former demons."  She shrugged, smiling at the anchor.  "He seems very open minded.  We have found evidence of a marriage certificate that got filed but never was officiated.  The birthdate for the bride was set back in the late 800's.  We don't know much about her though beyond that and her name."

"That's extremely old.  Was it possibly a typo?"

"No, from a source I asked about it, she said that the young lady had been a vengeance demon, which is a chosen job not a birthright job.  She was Vengeance for Women Scorned so she basically went around granting wishes to women who were mad at their husbands."  He shuddered.  "He told me an amusing story about how she turned one man in Central America into the only working flush toilet in the village because he beat his wife for not putting the seat back up for him."  His mouth flopped open.  "He also said that President Harris was shown how miserable they'd have been in the long run so he walked away from her at the altar.  She apparently died in the last battle of Sunnydale.  They had moved back to friendship after all that however."

"So...."  He cleared his throat.  "That's a job you're hired for?"

"Yes.  Apparently she was human before she was chosen and then human after she got fired."  She smiled.  "She was supposed to be one hell of a woman, outspoken, mostly independent, but allowing President Harris to buy things for her.  Sexually liberated as well, which doesn't really go with what we know of women during those times but I suppose she adapted to the more modern ways when she got fired.  She had seen how history had moved and perhaps participated."

He nodded once.  "So he does date people who are not all together good?"

"Outside of Agent Standish.  There were rumors of him at a former job in another agency but most of them were stopped when the people spreading them were arrested for being dirty agents.  Then the one that got missed left when the last head of the FBI got arrested.  He got arrested for forcing a subordinate officer into a degrading sexual relationship."

"Interesting.  So we think Agent Standish is dangerous enough for his tastes but a truly good man?  Even though they're together?"

"Yes.  It also appears that they're very strong as a couple.  Before the proposal, Agent Standish had to face down his mother and disown her for her attempts to keep them apart.  In public.  He's never been that unsubtle before; that time he was very vocal about how she should leave the country, plus her habits of stringing rich men along.  Whoever raised him with her did a much better job than they did on her."

"That's good to know.  Is there any hint that he is with the President for more than...carnal reasons?"

She smiled.  "I got invited to the barbeque a few weeks back.  Before Agent Standish got there, the President was joking and easy going.  After he got there, the president had a look on his face like he was a teenager in goofy headed love.  It's clear to see that Agent Standish helps ground him and helps with things other than his wardrobe.  He's lost that exhausted look he wore for the first two months, when they were apart.  He's gained back the weight he lost that we were all worried meant he was sick or depressed.  He's back to dressing better, which is good for his image.  Even the dogs played more once he was back."

"Interesting.  Do you think this relationship is hindering his ability to make decisions?  Is he depending on him too much?"

"No, I think Agent Standish is doing the same things all the other spouses in the White House have.  They're technically advisors when they talk at night but not really more than that.  Though I have heard that Agent Standish is not going to take over the Rose Garden's commitment.  Colonel Lorne has a good hand with it apparently so he's happy taking over that duty."

"So we don't think this will hinder him in any way outside of the countries that won't want to deal with him?"

"Frankly, half of them aren't our allies.  The few that are huffy, he's told them bluntly they can talk to Colonel Lorne.  He was very blunt about that subject as well.  Most of them have agreed that's a workable solution and they like him more anyway because he grew up around politics and those sort of upper class people.  President Harris never really dated a higher class person and he certainly wasn't raised one.  He misses the subtle nuances of society."

"Interesting.  Have we found anything else out?"

"Well, one thing that's interesting.  That ghost that shows up now and then, his ex, Cordelia?  Apparently she was his girlfriend in high school but they broke up because Mr. Harris cheated on her with one of his best friends, who was also cheating on her boyfriend.  Everyone I asked about that said that she had panicked about things changing and he was on the outs with Miss Chase at the time.  Though they had repaired their friendship before she died on the LA patrol team."

"So she was part of the Sunnydale team?"

"I asked the Slayer Faith.  She said that Miss Chase had been a second line.  Basically she helped with the big things but not the nightly patrols most of the time.  She definitely knew from when Miss Summers showed up, but was only a helper.  It's also said that Miss Chase used to say some very insulting and cutting things to Mr. Harris and then they'd make out.  So apparently it wasn't a healthy relationship by any means."

"That is something interesting to hear.  So why does she haunt him?"

"According to Mrs. O'Neill during their first married year, Miss Chase is the messenger for some higher beings.  Sometimes she shows up when bored to nag her ex, sometimes she shows up to tell him important things.  Like during his swearing in when the witch had been taken over and needed to be helped."

"Huh.  So she's basically a nagging ex who can tell that we're all screwed sometime in the future," he said.

She smiled and nodded.  "Though, I did ask a psychologist about what she's said over the years and he advised the President might have some low self esteem from that and his upbringing, which he's mentioned a few times himself.  Apparently Agent Standish has helped him with that so he's more confident and able to do the things we need him to do."

"Thank you for that.  We'll take viewer comments later this hour about the relationship and wedding," he said to the camera with a smile.  "I can't wait to hear what you think today."

John changed the channel.  "I think your reactionary response is typical of evil bitches who want Xander for their own," he said dryly.  "Or they're just gay bashing because they're scared of their desires for men.  That's why you used to talk about my ass."  The guys in there with him laughed at that.  "He did!"

"He did many times, sir," one of the Marines agreed.  He petted the dog, smiling at him.  "Hi, Blackhawk.  Sir, are you going to the wedding?"

"They haven't planned anything yet.  I think I'm on the invitation list though.  Jack O'Neill too probably."  They all grinned at him for that.  "I have no idea what to get Xander outside of weapons and I have the feeling all those evil bitch exes of his have that area covered."

"So there really is a task force to deal with his ex's?" one of the scientists asked.

John looked at him and nodded.  "Yeah.  Xander dated so many evil things, and even more wanted him, even if they said they weren't gay."  They all slumped and shook their heads.  "One tried to send Xander a sidewinder system for his car as a swearing in present for his first term as VP.  The FBI discovered it and stopped that one before he knew.  That way he couldn't beg his way into keeping it."

"Does he like weapons?"

"Yeah.  All too many of them.  His arsenal is still half hidden from Ezra.  The other half now belongs to the White House's armory."  They snickered.  "He used to take the guard's guns as he walked past them to clean them on the agents.  The former head of the ATF had to make him stop it."  That got a few more laughs.  "I had him taught our weapons so he would quit pouting about that."  Blackhawk barked and hopped up to get petted from him.  "Thanks, dog."

"What did you get Doctor McKay for his wedding?" one of the scientists playing cards asked.

"Six hundred condoms and a book on what to do with a wife, plus a certificate to his favorite coffee dealer."

"Is that why it took so long for his son to be born?" the scientist quipped.

John nodded.  "Maybe.  You know, she's talking about another one."  They all shuddered.  McKay had the mood swings instead of her.  It had been horrible to work with him.  "So submit opinions."  They went to talk to Willow.  She was usually reasonable and could control her husband sometimes.  John relaxed with his dog until the emergency alarm went off.  He got up and jogged out.  "Airman, watch my dog," he ordered the nearest one.

"Why do I have to watch the dog?' she complained, heading that direction.  "He doesn't belong here.  I should throw a ball off a pier and watch him fetch."

Another soldier zatted her.  "We'll see about that," he said snidely.  He would watch the dog.  When John came back, after chewing on a few scientists who tried to blow up a lab, he smiled.  "Sir, I took proactive measures to lessen the bitching about your pet and the plan to get him to drown in the ocean."

"Thank you.  Who?"  He pointed at the unconscious body.  "I'll have her shipped back to the mountain later.  Put her in the brig for now."  He got MP's to let them gather her while the airman told them why.  They agreed, they liked the dog.  It was fun to play with him.  John sat down, petting his poor friend.  "I know.  It'll be okay.  You can go play with Albert later."  The dog barked and ran off to find the baby.   It liked the baby a lot.  John rolled his eyes.  His dog was so spastic sometimes.

Rodney walked in and punched him on the arm.  "That's for having them gang up on us to not have another heir."  He gave him an mean and evil smirk.  "For that, she's having a girl."  He walked off again to save his son from the dog drool.  He was much too young to appreciate dog drool.

John snickered.  "That's good to know so we have some warning."  He got into his email on his tablet PC since it was sitting on the table he had his feet up on.  He sent a message about the idiot female airman he had arrested to Landry.  He found one from Xander and Lorne begging to come hide on the city for a while.   He reminded Xander he wasn't really allowed on the city and Lorne could hide anytime he needed.  He reminded Xander he had a farm to hide in and it had been owned by paranoid militia types so it probably had a well stocked bunker that no one could get into.   Ezra appreciated that reminder for their next time off.  Evan appeared in a flash of light and walked off shaking his head.  "Bad day in the senate?" he asked with a grin.

"Fucking people who want to know what Xander does in bed.  I had two senators ask me if Xander took it or not."

"Should've seen Marty's program," he called after him.

"I heard already."  He walked into his suite, shut the door, locked it, and fell face first on his bed.  He *really* needed to get out of DC before he turned into one of the natives or worse, started to want Xander for himself.

The End.

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