It's All About the Plans.
Xander was back playing poker. Everyone was still staring at him. He didn't mind. He was in a good mood right now. Someone had warned Wade so he got pulled out of the poker game but that was fine as well. He could find something else to do. Maybe some better stripping gear to thrill his boys? He only had the one pouch. So when Wade dropped him off at home he grabbed a drink then left again. Wade got called to pick him up again. Wade even kept the keys this time. He did have another set though. So he went to get some chocolate and other treats. Then maybe some grocery shopping. He got caught out doing that and sent home again.
Wade walked off, going to catch another cab home. "Fetch the boy, Wade," he muttered. "I feel like a dog."
He heard the Range Rover start and went to confiscate those keys too. This time he locked Xander in the alternate house. That way he was safely out of harm's way. He went home again.
Xander looked at the door, huffing. "I'm so spanking the minion." He pouted then he got the door open. They had put in an emergency exit. Then he slunk out and went to finish his grocery shopping. This time he went somewhere more quiet so Wade wouldn't get told. It was more expensive but had some very nice things. The shopkeeper gave him an odd look so he smiled.
"My minion didn't want me at the normal Farmer's Market." He got what he wanted and headed home. Then he went to the cooking store. He had some things he could pick up. He managed to get out of there faster than usual, so Wade didn't catch him. He took that home and went to another spot to play. Miami had a lot of places to play when he wanted to. He managed to flitter around for days making a lot of people horny and want him.
Horatio looked up at the cackling. Speed was cackling and that was never a good thing. He went to see what had happened this time. He found him and Danny staring at a box of *very* expensive hand-made chocolates. "When did we get this?"
"Someone sent them to Danny in apology for wanting what was his," Speed snickered.
"I asked Wade where Xander was. Wade said he's not a retriever then hung up moaning," Danny added. He looked at the sample being run. "Drugged?"
Speed got the report and nodded. "Hell yes."
Horatio sighed. "Where is he?"
"No idea," Danny said dryly. "Somewhere being naughty?"
"Probably," Horatio said dryly. He went to call Xander from his office. "Xander, someone sent Danny drugged chocolates so they could take you. Do you think perhaps you should ...go home for a bit?" He listened to him. "No, that's not a good idea, Xander. That's taunting, that's why. It's bad. Because that's using them, Xander. Please don't."
The person treating Xander took the phone to complain about Horatio trying to take his fun and said even if he was taken he was going to treat that one. "I do not believe that is a good idea," Horatio told him. "Because tomorrow you may regret it, that's why." The man hung up. He texted Xander's phone. He was not to accept any presents. The person texted back to leave him alone.
Horatio sighed. He'd have to stop that in person. He grabbed his keys and sunglasses.
Clay and his team found where those two were being held. They could hear Xander complaining at their person of interest. He wasn't happy and was making some pretty good threats.
Clay motioned. The team surrounded the area. That way the idiot wasn't going to be able to get away. They entered like they planned.
"No, Xander and I will not keep anything you bought him. It's not right," Horatio noted calmly. "You're being affected by your hormones, nothing else. I'm sure your family would like you back."
"No, I'm not!" he shouted. "Quit saying that!"
Clay busted in the door and they moved. "Freeze," he ordered. The kidnaper gave him a pouty look. "Back away from them. Now."
"They're mine," he pouted. "Mine to treat!"
"No, they're not. The redhead is married," Pooch said. "Move now. Last warning." The guy stomped off.
"This is not my fault," Xander said. Horatio glared. "I'm not broadcasting, am I?"
"Not really," Horatio sighed. "Clay, can you?" He nodded at the cuffs. Clay got them free and let Pooch walk them out.
Clay stared at the idiot. "It's not what you think."
"It is and they'll have it anyway!" He stomped off.
Clay started to walk out, then heard the shot and went to check. Horatio came back as well. He had written a message in lipstick. //It's all theirs. Make sure they get everything.// Clay sighed. "This is bad."
Horatio nodded. "He has a wife and children. He was telling us about his divorce," he sighed. "Xander is not broadcasting all that much."
"No, he's not. This does suck," Clay decided. "What're we doing, Horatio?"
"We leave it here." He called it in. As was protocol. "Dispatch, this is Lieutenant Caine at...." He looked around and Clay gave him the address. "We have a suicide. Thank you. Yes, ME only." He hung up. Then he sighed. "Speed is going to start ranting again."
"Too late for that," Clay said, telling the others what happened over the comm. "Pooch, take Xander home." He hung up. "How did he afford the jewelry? He doesn't look like a mover and shaker."
"I do not know," Horatio sighed. Alexx walked in. "He decided we were mean to not take what he wanted to give us."
"You haven't had one of those in years, baby." She patted him on the cheek and pulled on gloves. "Do we know what happened?"
"We walked out, he stomped in here, and then I heard a shot," Clay said.
"All right." She looked over the body. "Boys, we have a problem." They stared at her. "That gunshot wound? Unless he was firing from a really bad angle...." She showed them the wound. The angle was from the chest area. She found a smaller hole and then turned him over to find another one. "Entrance hole, stippling."
Horatio sighed. "Let me call in a team, Alexx." He did that. "Clay, can you check for someone since I'm technically a victim?"
He nodded, looking around for him. No shooter. "A gun," he announced.
Horatio looked then at the holes. "Consistent with the entry wound." Ryan walked in with a grin. "Do not," Horatio warned.
"Yes, H. Sorry, heard a great joke on the way over. How did he die?"
"Someone underneath the bed got him," Alexx said. "Though he was a bit mental and planning on suicide probably. He had Horatio and Xander hostage."
"After taking us jewelry shopping," Horatio sighed. "I know he has a wife and two children. He told us."
"Hormoned?" Ryan asked.
"Very lightly. Xander's barely emoting."
"Crap, that means the tumor grew," Ryan moaned. Alexx shuddered. "Are we sure we can't have someone mundane remove it?"
"Cupid said it would damage things and make him worse," Alexx assured him. "So did Lord Apollo." Clay looked at her. "He removed it the first time. Which made him compressively let go of all that he was backlogging." Clay shivered. "Exactly."
Ryan put on some gloves and got pointed at the gun. That was easy enough to start with. Then he moved on to the other areas in the room. One window was unlocked so he started fingerprinting there.
Clay heard the bad news and groaned. "Pooch, we need to go to France if Xander isn't working on it."
Mystyk appeared with a smile. "Yes, he is. No, he won't win this time. This one has had other GHS before." He smirked. "Horatio as well."
"Yay. So we do have to go?"
"Oh, yes, though they're going to be very mean to this one."
"Gladly. Maybe it'll stop them."
"If Xander doesn't. They might be dead by the time they're you're there if you don't hurry. The same person just shot him." He disappeared.
Pooch leaned in. "France?"
"France." He showed him the information email. "They're locked up and the guy's dead by the same shooter Mystyk said.
Pooch nodded. "Okay." He went to make transportation calls and the local police got talked to by Jensen, who spoke some French. They had their own GHS liaison officer. They said they'd meet them there and do the preliminary scouting for them.
Clay packed a gear bag. Well, really he just added clothes to the one he usually kept packed these days. He grabbed things and walked out zipping the bag up. His door got locked, and the others followed. Jensen was zipping up his computer bag.
Pooch took one last kiss before walking off. He went down to the SUV to drive and get them to the private airport their plane was at.
Clay found the cell and Jensen unlocked the electronic lock. "You know, we don't usually have to rescue you, Horatio," he said dryly.
"I know. This is already a problem," he sighed.
"It's not me," Xander said. "Personally I think there's something in common."
"There is. The shooter," Jensen said, handing over granola bars. They came out eating them. "We have a doc to check you over, Horatio." He walked them off.
"The same caliber?" Horatio asked Clay.
"Yes." He pointed. "The locals are there now." Horatio nodded, going to talk to them. When they heard he was a CSI who ran a well known lab, they let him compare the two scenes. Horatio got the pictures sent to Jensen's PDA so they could compare it. It was definitely the same handwriting and the same bullets.
Back to Miami and Horatio got dropped off at home. Speed was waiting in the doorway. Horatio looked at him and sighed. "I must be on an upswing."
"You must be," he agreed. "Get inside, Horatio. I'm going to bathe off the stink of France." Horatio nodded, walking past him with a quiet kiss for him. Speed followed, taking him upstairs and stripping him off. He got into the shower with him, scrubbing him all over. It was slow, sensuous, and what Horatio needed to feel like he was back at home. It led to some nice shower sex, which Speed was prepared for. Then he put Horatio to bed, naked, and went to get their dinner.
Pooch got woken up by the beeping of his phone. He looked and swore. "Clay!" he shouted. He got up to get dressed. Jolene groaned but he kissed her and grabbed his bags, heading out. Clay and the others met him in the hallway. He held up his phone. Clay moaned but they left. They had to get Horatio again. Not Xander but Horatio.
They needed to wait a few minutes for the plane to be pulled out of the hanger, but that was fine.
"Whoever keeps taking Horatio, I say we bring Speed to kill them," Jensen said with a yawn. He settled into his usual seat and curled up to fall asleep.
"Seconded," Pooch agreed.
Clay shrugged. "That's a good idea to me too, guys. I'm wondering who this shooter is."
Pooch groaned. "Don't make this some great conspiracy thing, Clay. Please?"
"At least it's not Xander," Cougar said. He tipped down his hat and got comfortable. They had a nine hour plane ride to Hawaii. The retrieval team out there could help if they needed them to.
Clay settled in to nap as well. He was exhausted.
The local detectives met them at the airport. "You could've asked our locals to rescue him," he offered. "They seem nice, even though the head guy is an explosives maniac from Australia."
"If we're right, it relates back to a case in Miami and rural France," Pooch said. Jensen handed over the file they had gotten from the labs.
"Yeah, looks about the same," he said, handing it back and walking them off.
"We rented an SUV from the air," Jensen said with a smile.
"That's good. Means you don't have to squeeze into my backseat." He grinned. "We have him at the office. Our team was not happy that this guy suddenly broke out in this." He waited until they were outside. "Where is he on the scale?"
"Mid-level," Clay said quietly. They followed the detective to the office, finding Horatio sulking. Clay stared at him. "Pooch suggested if we have another one, we're bringing Speed."
Horatio smiled slightly. "Unfortunately he'd only yell because he doesn't like guns." He stood up. "Do you have the file?" Jensen handed over the PDA. "Thank you, Jensen." He compared the two scenes to the current one. "Different brand of gun and different note. The handwriting's noticeably different." The CSI with them took them to look over.
"Please don't let it be a cult?" Jensen begged.
"Seconded," Horatio sighed. "I don't know why me."
"It could be a taunt," the local head of the retrieval team sighed. "You are a CSI. You'd have to try to catch them. Which means we might have a few playing this game."
"CJ?" Pooch asked. He smirked and nodded with a wave. "We're Miami's team."
"I heard you guys had a level ten."
"Yeah," Clay agreed with a small smirk. "He's not causing us trouble this week."
"Bet me," CJ said. He handed over the notes. "Private security, I was waiting on you blokes. I don't have an electrical expert."
"Roque's gone," Pooch said. "Turned on us."
"I can bypass most alarm systems," Horatio admitted. CJ grinned at him. "It came in handy in Bomb Squad." He looked at the officers. "Can I help them?" They nodded. "Let me know if I can help, gentlemen." They copied the files down and Jensen took his PDA back, heading out with them. It was a nice trip. Followed up with an arrest. They got this shooter. Unfortunately he cackled that they couldn't get the other one. Then he tried to take an officer's gun from him. CJ made him regret it with a very painful nerve pinch. The guy was going to be in pain for hours.
Horatio made it back to Miami, sighing in displeasure. "I lost my sunglasses."
"Speed's already picked you up a pair," Pooch said. He hugged Jolene since she was there to meet them. "Hey, baby."
She kissed him. "How was Hawaii?"
"We didn't see much outside finding that one asshole." Xander strolled down with Jensen behind him. He had been asleep on Jensen's shoulder. He was yawning now. Pooch looked over. "Get him home, Jensen."
"We have practice anyway," Xander pointed out.
Horatio looked at him. "Not until that tumor comes out, Xander. You're more dangerous this way and I'm scared of what might happen."
"I'd never hurt them!"
"I know that it wouldn't be intentional but you move differently like this."
Xander rolled his eyes. "Fine, wooden sword practice today." Cougar nodded he'd be there. Jensen took him home and it was better.
Horatio sighed. "Less than a week we hope," he said at Clay's look.
"I hope so too." He heard a motorcycle and looked. "Speed's here, Horatio."
Horatio smiled, walking over to get onto the back. Speed leaned back to take a kiss, handing over the sunglasses afterward. "Thank you."
"Welcome. Helmet." Horatio put on his glasses then the helmet. Speed turned them around and zipped off with his husband against his back.
"Maybe I should rent a bike," Pooch teased Jolene.
She put his hand on her stomach. "We can wait, baby. Maybe for fun rides later." He smirked, walking her off. "Boys?" They followed to the SUV. The hanger people had the plane and hopefully they wouldn't have another trip for a week.
Jensen texted Clay that Xander had a challenge and he was going with him. Then they left. Jensen was actually driving. Xander was checking his katana over. "Is this the redheaded guy?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah, it is."
"Do we have plan?"
"Beat his ass, make him sorry."
"That works," Jensen decided. "Is it an inside venue?"
"Think so. We pay poker debts there every now and then." Jensen moved them through traffic easily enough. "My car likes you."
"I'm just a likeable guy."
"Yeah, you are." Xander grinned. "Remember, you can't interfere."
"I'll be hyped afterward," Xander warned. "Quickenings do it to all of us."
"Don told us."
"Okay." Jensen pulled them into the spot and Xander got out, waving at one of the guards. "Poker thing," he called. The guard nodded and walked off shaking his head. Xander walked inside, letting Jensen get the door behind them.
"You brought help?" the guy sneered.
"I'm a berserker, I brought someone who can knock my ass out in case I keep going."
"Yeah," Xander said dryly. He took off his overshirt. "You ready?"
"Yeah, of course. You? Have a will done?" he asked, finding his bravado. Xander attacked and he hissed, fighting back.
Jensen watched. Xander wasn't in the moment. He pulled out his iPod and coughed. "Xander?" Xander moved back and got it, turning it on and putting in the earbuds. He grinned when Xander grinned at him and pointed. The guy was sneering but trying to sneak up and attack. Xander beat his ass. Someone came in.
"What the hell is going on here?" they shouted.
Xander looked. "Stuff, Paul." He waved. The guy tried to get his neck but he blocked it and stared at him. "Idiot." He fought him back and took his head. "Jensen, back, it can hit you." Jensen pulled the head guard back. Xander centered himself as the quickening gathered and let it flow through him and out. He breathed deeply, keeping calm. "He was older but not that ancient." He opened his eyes, staring at Jensen. "It didn't hit you, right?"
"No. I'm good. Are you all right?" he moved forward, taking the sword when Xander held it out. "Xander?"
"I'm good." He looked at Paul. "Hi again."
"What the hell?" he asked, looking horrified.
Xander sighed. "Self healing talent," he said dryly.
"Oh my God, I heard rumors. Xander?" Xander nodded. "But...."
"Yeah. So I'll be young, pretty, and wanted for a *really* long time." Paul shuddered. "You can't tell."
"What about your boys and Horatio?"
"They know. Not about this challenge but they know about this."
"Oh, damn. So... how do I report this?"
Xander called Alexx. "I need a watcher where I am. Redheaded guy." He hung up after giving her the address. He leaned on Jensen's shoulder. "There's hundreds of us," he told the poker buddy.
"How many here in town?"
"Outside of two others they're all friends," Xander said with a shrug. "Those two are hunters and won't come near me." Someone pounded then walked in. "You're not the watchers I know."
"Mac Taylor knows me, Mr. Harris. Mr. Jensen." He nodded. He looked at the body. "Anything noteable about the fight?"
"I got distracted for a minute but it's all good," Xander said. He handed the iPod back with a grin. "Check the headphones?"
Jensen looked at the wires. "He didn't get them." He put it into his pocket then smiled. "Are you the one in Robbery?"
Xander texted Mac, getting one back from Stella that he was. "Okay." He looked at Paul. "You can't tell. No one's going to deal with anything."
"I realize that. Is that why you're so tough?"
"No, that was doing Winchester things before my hormones came out," he said with a grin. "I'm from that little town in Cali that had the apocalypse recently." He shuddered. "Yeah, almost five years of that. Plus the people who want my pretty ass." He yawned. "I gotta go, Paul."
"That's fine, Xander. I'm not going to tell anyone. I swear. No one would believe me anyway." He left.
Xander looked at the watcher. "Need help?"
"No, I have a team coming. Go home or wherever to deal with it." Xander nodded, letting Jensen walk him off. He sighed, getting the body taken to the special funeral home while he tracked down that normal person. Something was going to have to be done.
Two hours later, Horatio was called to a scene that he did not want to see. "He's part of the poker circle and a guard here," he noted. He looked up at Alexx. "Today's not a game day."
"That's a shame, it'll mean less witnesses." She bundled the man up. "It was a clean kill. Single shot, almost no external blood loss." He nodded. "I saw you rode in today?" she teased with a smile.
"I just got back from Hawaii this morning."
"My boy didn't tell me you were taking him off," she pouted.
"I didn't," he said dryly.
"Oh, you poor thing." He hummed and moved closer to look at things.
Xander came in with lunch stuff for his boys, leaning down to kiss Frank on the forehead. "No one fusses over you."
"No, no one does," he agreed with a grin. "Why are you in?"
"Lunch is always welcome." He took his bag, changing with Ray.
"Sorry, I had them mark them." He shrugged. He handed out the rest, stopping at Ray's desk. "Paul. When did he die? He was at my challenge earlier and caught us fighting."
Ray stared at him. "I didn't hear that Alexx got that body."
"No, some guy in Robbery did that Stella vouched was one."
"Huh," Ray said. "Thanks, Xander. I'll see if he saw anything." Xander kissed him on the temple and went to deliver to his other boy. Ray got the name from Mac, who said he had been one for years. Ray called his desk, nothing but voicemail. A call to dispatch to have them find him and call him. No answer after an hour so Ray went to his precinct to talk to him. His partner said he hadn't seen him recently. Ray was starting to get that itchy gut feeling. He was getting a better one than Gibbs usually said he got. He put out word among the circle that he wanted to see that guy. They found him fairly easily. Ray went to his scene. "Hey, got ten?" he asked. He sounded pleasant and patient. "I need to know what you saw at a scene earlier."
The robbery detective left the scene with him. "What scene, Kowalski?"
"The one where the guard that spotted the challenge died." He stared at him.
"We can't let that stuff get out."
Ray stared at him. "The poker circuit don't talk to anyone. Outside Xander." The detective looked stubborn. "Ya know what, let's go talk to Horatio and Mac."
"I don't have to."
"You do or you're going to be gotten by IAB. Now, let's go." The detective glared but Ray grabbed him by his ear and walked him off. "Thank you for your cooperation," he said dryly.
"Detective, what are you doing?" one of the uniforms called.
"He's meeting with Caine. He's late. I'm fetching," Ray said dryly. Then he barked.
"Yes, sir. I'll get his partner," he said, blinking a few times. "Homicide is tougher than I thought." He called that in. "Even though they're all gay."
Horatio looked at the detective. "You did what?" he demanded calmly. Ray handed over the file. He read it over then looked at him. "Why?"
"He knows about the immortals," he hissed, glancing at the door.
"Speed's watching the door," Ray told him.
"You shouldn't know either," he hissed.
"Unfortunately Eric kept getting hurt," Horatio said dryly. "It got noticeable."
"Then he should've been taken out."
Ray snorted. "That's not your job either." The watcher sneered. "I can call Joe. My boy has him on speed dial."
"No, thank you anyway," he said coldly.
"Too late," Speed called in. "He's here, Ray." He let him in. "I believe this is your guest?"
"Joe," Ray said, shaking his hand. "Adam called?"
"Xander called. He heard a rumor. Thankfully I was checking on a new watcher in DC." He looked at his watcher. "You're in such deep shit if he was right, kid."
"I'm not a kid and that one got told!" he said, hopping up. "They're being too open and we have to fix that. You don't understand, Joe!"
"I understand perfectly. You're like the idiots that took out some of the better immortals, ones who didn't fight, in the last decade." Joe stared at him. "If he's being charged, he's fired," he told Ray.
"This is Lieutenant Horatio Caine. He knows. There's a few of us in the family group."
"I heard and it's a great thing," Joe agreed with a smile. "Peace is always better than challenges." He looked at the lesser watcher. "Lieutenant, if he has records from us, I need someone like Mac or Stella to please take charge of them."
"I can let Mac do that and classify anything," he promised.
"Thank you." He looked at his minion. "Well?"
"You still don't understand, Joe."
Joe lifted his cane and batted him on the head with it. "Really? You think?" He leaned on it again, shifting awkwardly. "He's yours if he did it, Caine. I'll make sure there aren't any others." He looked at Ray. "Greg Sanders?"
"With Tony up in DC?" he guessed.
"Is or not?"
"Not. The society chemist. Xander's trouble buddy. Not one of us."
"Thanks. People have been wondering. DiNozzo's not, right?" Ray shook his head quickly. "No one on the team?"
"Not that we're aware of."
"Even better. I'll stop that rumor." He looked behind him. "Stella, lovely to see you as always."
She smiled and let him kiss her on the cheek. "I need to come up for a vacation so I can hear some nice music." She looked at the idiot. "I heard he killed one of the poker circle."
"To keep news of your other job quiet," Horatio said dryly.
"Huh. How stupid." She looked at Joe. "I'll go search his desk. I'll even take the manwhore of IAB with me. Since he knows."
"How does he know?" Ray asked.
"He's a halfie and knew somehow," she said with a look at him. "We all wish he'd quit panting after Horatio." She strolled off. "Come for dinner, Joe."
"Sure, Stella, thanks." He smiled. "I love that lady. She classes us up all the time."
"She does the labs too," Ray said with a grin. "The old man's at home figuring out if he can remove the brain tumor someone has again."
"I saw that mention, is it really that bad?" Horatio shuddered. "Okay, that's something to take better note of than what we have. I'll get Adam to do that." He smirked at Horatio. "Let me know if you need our help. Even after this."
"I shall. Some of you do appear in the strangest places." Joe laughed and nodded, leaving. "Ray, charge him."
"Yup." He dragged the idiot off, not caring that others were watching him. "Killed someone for witnessing something." They backed off. They couldn't help that guy.
Anya pouted at Adam. "I don't think Wade and I are connecting on our pasts right now. His killing and maiming was all business, tinged with fun. Mine was more fun and a duty otherwise." She pouted. "I don't think he sees that."
He patted her on the knee. "In my own past, I had such incidences myself."
"I knew you were ancient, Adam." She looked at him. "I heard rumors about you being one of the 4."
He nodded. "Yes, I was. I was Death actually." She grinned at him. "That was long ago and I barely remember some of it. I also grew out of that stage as humanity grew up."
"Yes, but you'd *understand*," she said. "Wade isn't. He's all like 'it's the job'."
Adam sighed. "I can explain that a bit or you could."
"He's not listening to me right now. He's pouty because Xander's down with that stupid tumor. Which means I'm not even getting sex."
He smirked a tiny bit. "Really, there are more important things, Anya."
"No there's not."
"Yes there is. There's also more to pleasure than just intercourse."
"Of course there is, there's foreplay but he's not really into teasing me." She shrugged. "It's all right though."
"There's more to intimacy than that as well," he reminded her. "A relationship can't be built on those pillars."
"Don't say that 'r' word, Adam. It'll freak him out."
"Hmm, yes, his sort would." He sipped his coffee. "I'll help if you want but I'm not sure how much I can do." Someone pulled into the driveway. "That's Joe."
"The head watchery guy? Oh, my God, I just sounded like Buffy. This baby is doing bad things to my brain," she told him.
"Eight to nine more weeks, Anya," he said patiently. "Xander would never allow you to turn that shallow and vapid so quit worrying." Joe walked up to the door. "It's open," he called before he could knock.
Joe walked in. "Hey, Adam. Thought I'd drop in since I had to see your boyfriend. And who's this?"
"This is Anya Emmerson. Xander's ex."
"Pleasure," Joe said, shaking her hand with a smile.
"I needed someone who understood my past funsies of torturing men." She sighed, looking at her stomach. "You really need to come out, whatever you are. You're rotting my brain and keeping me from sex. You're a bad thing." She scowled when it kicked her. "That's not nice."
Adam patted the stomach, earning a pout. "I'm still seeing if anyone I know might be suitable." She hugged him. "I'll have beers with Wade tonight, dear." She nodded and left. "She was quite a vicious vengeance demon for over a millennia," Adam said. "Beer?"
"Please." Joe sat down in her seat, getting comfortable. "We expect those sort of things around Xander. Speaking of, I want a more detailed report on that tumor of his." Adam handed one over. "Thanks, old man. How's Miami going?"
"It's going very nicely. Ray likes the department. They treat him well. Xander spoils the unit horribly because that's the man he is." He smiled. "It's nice. Even if I am a bit bored most of the time. There's no great ancient languages or history program down here."
"You can go back to medical school."
"Perhaps." He smiled, sipping his coffee. "What happened?"
"One of the other watchers killed a normal for witnessing a challenge."
"Oh, dear. Ray must be pouty then."
"Not really. He was being a tough guy." Joe grinned. "Stella invited me for dinner."
"She is a lovely woman. One that I can admire from afar because her boyfriend is quite growly and possessive at times." He smirked. Joe smirked back. "Which challenge?"
"Peters challenged Xander."
"Ah. That must have been a strange fight." He texted Xander to make sure he was fine, getting one back that he was, he had borrowed Jensen's iPod during it. "Wonderful." He texted that back to him then put his phone down. "Xander said he's fine. He borrowed Jensen's iPod. So Jensen was his guard in case something happened."
"Oz doesn't have those problems."
"Oz does not take challenges. Neither does the other berserker in the game," Adam pointed out. "Xander takes all too many."
"Good point I guess. At least his current student is learning how it goes."
"They're all quite good."
"Dean and Sam?"
"They've both learned more about their unique styles, they're both doing excellent. Dean's still working on a stamina problem and Sam's still got some footwork issues but they're going along well."
"Good. Are they slowing down to stay with him?"
"No, I believe they're slower than most other learning groups because they occasionally leave to hunt for weeks on end then come back." He finished his coffee and put the mug aside. "Xander runs daily practices for whoever's there with him. The two newer ones are over most mornings. Dean and Sam when they're there are wonderful at it. Xander will work with the newer ones, let them rest while he works with Dean and Sam to show how much more advanced you can get yet still have some problems, and then works with them again."
"That makes sense. I wasn't sure if Xander could really teach anyone since he's so young but apparently he does it pretty well."
"He does. Especially with that unique style of his. Plus he can teach some more esoteric weapons for demon hunting."
"Most of you don't need those unless we're suddenly in a zombie apocalypse," Joe said dryly.
"There's many of us who have become hunters through the years."
"Yeah, I saw your temporary name of Van Helsing," Joe cracked with a smirk. Adam just smirked and shrugged a bit. "How's things otherwise?"
"Fairly routine and a bit boring. It's wonderful not to have too much going on. Ray drives me just as insane as Alexa did," he said with a slight smile. "Though I still have to get him over his fear of Mounties showing up in Miami to start taking over cases now and then."
"Benton did show up to gather a wanted Canadian criminal once. He worked well with the lab's people, who all asked if his heightened senses spiked and bothered him in the sun." He grinned. "He smiled and decided to say he didn't know what they were talking about." He shifted to cross his feet. "I was going to pop up after the convention since we'll be in Cascade."
Joe stared at him. "Why?"
"That's what the board wanted."
"Huh. Should we watch out for massive problems?"
"I believe Xander talked to a few of his poker buddies' friends up there to make sure we'd have it be somewhat peaceful."
"He's still playing? I thought that was tumor related."
"Not fully. It is his major method of curing his boredom. Gets him out of the house. He makes sure no one can hurt the lab or anything. Right now the tumor's getting a bit too big thanks to the demon who thought he was more fun this way."
"They have specialists," Joe pointed out.
"We were warned even one wrong move could make him go on a permanent surge."
"Oh. Eww. Poor guy."
"Yes, so we're waiting on Godly assistance again." He sent a quick prayer up that it'd be soon. Then he smiled. "He does do an amazing job helping protect the city."
"Excellent news." He shifted and sighed. "People are starting to wonder again."
"I figure they would," Adam assured him. He smirked. "They aren't going to find out."
"There's been a few reports that you're an immie."
Adam shrugged. "People such as that have always existed. Usually they want to have a higher position by climbing over you."
"In this case, the background check office started it." Adam grimaced. "They couldn't find a listed birth certificate." Adam groaned. "They checked back and found one that looked a lot like you a few decades back as well."
"That was not me."
"They eventually figured that out," Joe admitted. "They're still determined that you are."
"Would it really matter after everything that's went on?"
"Yes, they think that makes you a hunter."
"I haven't taken a challenge in over three years," Adam said dryly.
"Want me to tell them that?"
"Fine. Let me know what you want to answer. The overall head guy is getting twitchy."
Adam smirked. "Have him see me in Cascade during the convention?"
"Or at the bar afterward if you want," Joe offered.
"That might be more reasonable." Joe nodded with a grin. That would let Methos be dramatic. "They know there's others."
"They're all lovers of history and doing their own chronicles. You and Theo don't talk about your pasts."
"Damn. Is that where he is?"
"Yeah. In Paris." He smirked back. "Living on the barge actually."
"Let's hope Macleod didn't leave any craziness or dark quickening germs then." He got up to get them something more to drink, coming back to sit down again. "It would be bad if I told him everything."
"It might be, yeah. I'd stay mythical for the most part." Adam nodded that was a good idea. "Are you going mushy in your old age?" he teased.
"Quite. Ray's quite mushy but I do adore him in spite of it." He smiled. "He is quite the man and likes to make me happy."
"That's good. We could all use some happy and normal with Mac in our lives."
"Please don't let him come near Cascade. Xander will get hyper protective and try to take him out again."
"Who do you think would win?"
"Xander. He was a bit upset the last time they met."
"I'll warn him. Keep him at the bar." He grinned. Ray walked in and smirked. "Hi again."
"I'm off for the rest of the day."
"Got into a brawl?" Adam guessed.
"Xander was taking three wannabe Crypts on who were tryin' ta do a cop for initiation. I took a swing at one when they tried to help them as Don and I pulled them apart. Frank told me to come home for the day and make sure the house was secure while Xan's tied to Don's desk."
"Is he in trouble?" Adam asked.
"No. He walked up behind them as they snuck up on one of the guards at the station with a silencer and pistol. Calleigh's livid. H isn't pleased either. Gang unit is pissed that they didn't hear. Xander's going fucking nuts that he didn't hear and he's told a guys that he should have heard. They're going to have to rob somewhere to pay him back today. Horatio said so," he quipped with a grin.
"Ah, drama," Adam sighed, shaking his head. Joe snickered. "I'm sure it will be on the news later that they were raided quite successfully."
"The main guys got word Xander's pissed off and went to hide in the 'Glades. Don's taking Xander to get some tracking practice since he can." Adam moaned, shaking his head. "We have really got to take out that tumor. He went full blown evil there for a few minutes. Backed up, slinky, full blown evil. Made me wanna come home for whole other reasons."
Joe laughed. "If you guys want to, go ahead. I can go stare at pretty girls on a beach."
Adam smiled. "Have a nap. Stella will probably be up a good portion of tonight since they've got tomorrow off." He took Ray to the bedroom to cure that itch he was having thanks to the slinky evil one.
Joe smiled, getting up and going to the guest room. That was nice of Methos. He loved the guy for being a nice friend to have. Most of the time. Now and then he was still an asshole. Though Ray did make those bad days appear less often.
Xander found the hideout and tagged it with a crossbow bolt that had GPS taped on. Then he moved and tagged a few more things. Including the guard that caught him, he tagged him in the leg then made sure he couldn't scream. He moved to cover the open side of the building. All sorts of cars. People were milling around, talking about going somewhere. To do something. He couldn't hear.
He switched his next bolt for a better one. So when they started to come out, they had to run back inside because one's engine got blown up. His chemist was so nice to him. They were shooting at the trees, one of them had guessed it was him, but oh well. He switched and pulled out something. "I forgot to put more sleeping gas in," he muttered. "Pity." He threw it and they tried to shoot him but he was already moving. They were choking and gasping on it.
Xander settled into a better spot to watch. "Pray that SWAT saves your asses. You don't touch my boys' station and get away with it. Here's your sign, idiots." He launched another one when the choking lessened. SWAT was rolling up, he could hear the heavier vehicle. He fired one last one then moved back into the woods, going to get the two that had tried to run out the back. He chemical tagged them with the organic tracker.
He noticed a little kid and swore, glaring at the building. Someone was shouting something frantically, someone female. She was racing out back. Xander wasn't going to touch the kid. An officer was chasing her. Xander shook his head. "She'll turn on you to protect that baby, dude." He stepped out, staring at her. "They won't hurt the baby." She gasped and tried to hit at him but he caught her hand and pulled her down. "Sit." The officer found them. He pointed. That got a nod. "I tagged two running with a chemical tracker."
"Thanks, Harris, real handy."
Xander smiled. "They tried to fuck with my boyfriend's station. Like this one, I'll protect my family to hell and back." He looked at her, she was cuddling the child. "He won't hurt her."
"We have a few guys who can sign," the officer said. "You can hold her for now." She nodded, letting him walk her back. "Harris, I didn't see you."
"I know. I'll go back to being Batman." He disappeared back into the woods.
The officer walked her up to the head guy, who was scowling. "The baby's deaf. They're both scared."
"Good. The baby can sit on her lap once she's in the van and cuffed."
"I got dragged, I wasn't part of this," she begged.
"I'll mark you to talk to someone then, miss." He patted the baby on the head with a smile. "You're good." He looked at her. "Inside the van." The officer got her in there and cuffed her with her hands in front, letting her hold the child for now. The officer came back. "Did Harris run off?"
"Yes, sir. He tagged two with a chemical tracker."
"Even better." He smirked, calling that in. Dispatch had a reader for that. "They don't read on the same frequency. That's very handy. I wonder how long it takes to wear off." He walked off to check on the others.
"This smoke goo is really nasty," one told him. "If we're trying it, it stinks, boss."
"No, this wasn't ours." The thug struggling with him groaned, shaking his head. "I got told something about....shouldn't have messed with his boyfriend's station?" he said, looking at the head thug.
He spit. "I'll get Xander."
"I doubt it since you couldn't today," he said dryly. "Plus we already had warrants for your arrest. If you had picked a different station, you wouldn't be in this predicament. Then he might've danced to make your last night as a free boy special." The thug struggled but got walked out anyway. They cleared the rest of the area and gathered the bolts with GPS taggers on them. "I want his toys some days."
He left, going to make sure no one plotted anything in the back of the van. They were all giving each other meaningful looks but the head of SWAT coughed. "He'll destroy you. Look what he did to the General for simply cheating at cards." That made most of them slump. "Remember what happened the last time someone shot at him for being the poker playing gay man he is." That made the rest slump. "By now, Caine's heard too. He might get Xander to calm down later."
"He has boys for that," one muttered, crossing himself as best he could in the cuffs. "Pity on their souls for being so gay."
"Flack's a stand up guy. Messer's from a thug family." The head of SWAT smirked. "He has ties back to the old school gangs in New York."
"How is he a cop then?" the head guy demanded.
"He didn't want to be a thug. He still has family left over. Sassone had something that led back to him from what I heard. Which would lead back to the lesser Families I'm sure." That got another few shudders. "Exactly. And that's what might happen if you piss off Messer. Last time they were fighting anyway and he let Caine handle it. This time.... Caine's blood pressure is making his skin as red as his hair." One of them moaned. "Yeah, he's in evil mode now. Congrats, guys." They slumped. He watched the mother. If she wasn't part of it, they'd let her go be a happy mother. Caine would get to decide. He'd probably be waiting.
Horatio came out of talking to the young woman. "She wants to turn evidence on her husband. Who will not be pleased."
"Lesser or higher?" the DA asked.
"Lesser. They were out together, that's why he brought her and the baby when the evacuation call came in."
"Huh. Is the child special needs?"
"Deaf. Otherwise she's a very bright child. She told me that her daddy likes to clean guns on saturdays with her."
The DA smiled. "That's a very smart child. She wants a free walk?"
"Does she know the hideout?"
"Where, not the entrance code."
"I'll see. Probation might be handy." He went in to talk to her. Caine had gotten her calmed down. She had spotted him and started to cry on her daughter. Her husband was shouting at them to leave the baby alone so they had walked him off.
Horatio went to talk to that one gang member. "Your daughter is quite brilliant," he said in greeting. The man glared. "The DA is working out a deal with her so she's not in the system."
"That's good. What does he want in return?"
"That's between him and her." He stared at him. "*We* would never hurt children if we could stop it." The other man looked down. "She's still with her mother."
"Harris stopped the cop from jumping her when she ran off to find the baby," he said quietly, looking up again.
"Xander has always been protective of those who can't do it on their own. He can't have children, even if he was with a woman, so he does tend to protect them quite a lot."
He nodded, looking at the highest guy in the cell. "Leave my daughter alone?"
"Your woman doesn't know anything," he reminded him.
"Yeah, I know. Still?"
He shrugged. "What's she going to tell them that they don't already know?"
"Thank you." He looked at Caine again. "If she gets me, I'm caught. It's only a few years probably."
Horatio nodded. "You'll at least get to visit with her."
"I'll remind the DA that having you closer would help with that. Your daughter needs to grow up to do better things than her parents did." He gave him one last pointed look then walked off.
"Yeah, I want my girl in college." He sat down, looking at the higher guy. "If I go...." He knew they could get him on a lot of stuff.
He smiled. "Thanks. My baby's a special little girl. I want her to do great things."
"If possible. The head guys are going to be coming soon. I'll make sure they know to leave her alone."
"If we have to, have Harris talk to them?" he asked quietly.
"I can do that. He might know the one from LA." He shrugged. You never knew who Harris might know. "I wonder if he's gay 'cause he can't have kids."
"Nah, I think he's gay because they like the hair," another said dryly. "No woman would let him have hair that way." Most of the cell laughed.
"Pipe down," the cell guard ordered.
Xander walked into the bar that night, staring at the guy down from New York. "They got one's wife and daughter," he said bluntly.
"She's turning to protect her child?"
"She knows not a damn thing."
"Then I don't care, Harris. Why are you in gang territory after earlier?"
"Talking to you." He smiled. "No one else here tried to hit my boys' station earlier so they know I'm not mad at them." The others nodded and left them alone. He grinned around then at him. "Can you leave her and the baby alone?"
"Yeah, that's not a problem. I got told she didn't know anything." He smirked. "You should adopt."
"I have a former girlfriend who's pregnant right now and a former friend who is too. I might. My boys are arguing though." He shrugged. He put his hands in his pockets. "So, how's my former city?"
"Good. About the same as usual. There's a few twitchy things."
"Do we need to get a hunter up there?"
"Not that sort."
"Oh. I stayed out of that mess. It made my hair frizzy."
The field operations head of the Crypts laughed, shaking his head. "I can see why. It nearly did it to mine a few times." Xander grinned and left him to his beer and talking in peace. "That guy... he's real unique but a stand up guy who's never bothered anyone over their affiliation. We like him for that much even though we can't stand gay guys."
"You know he's got an arsenal, right?" one of the other guys in the bar asked. "They call it an apocalypse or invasion vault around the stations."
The head crypt smirked. "Doesn't surprise me. Not about Harris. Knowing what he got in LA a few times over the years and why.... Yeah, doesn't surprise me. Mother fucker was strong enough to steal from the military once, but they needed it from what I heard in LA." He finished his drink.
"Xander did?" another guy asked.
"Yeah, something in Sunnydale happened." He shrugged.
"Down here that's called Winchester stuff," another quipped and the others laughed. "He's teaching them that sword dancing stuff."
"Dean has bad taste, dude. He took home a total bagger the other night."
That guy looked at him. "I tapped that once. She wasn't in bed. She was damn athletic and a world champion at sucking." A few guys nodded she had tapped them too. "Her big nose is why doggy style was invented."
The head Crypt shook his head. "I've seen others." He got another drink and got the rest of the update from the locals. Eighty percent of a unit being taken down wasn't good for the rest of them. Who knows what got compromised.
Xander was waiting outside for Don to get done when someone walked up to where he was sitting on his hood. "Harris?" He looked up from his reading. "What if they attack another station?"
Xander grimaced. "I'd make them miserable and hand them in. I can't protect everyone but I damn sure make certain that people know they'll be gotten if I hear about it. They know touching my people here will get destruction. Them going after another officer and I'll make them beg Horatio for mercy. I do what I can."
"I know." He patted him on the knee. "Would you be just as rabid?"
"Probably, yeah. They know not to tell me these things."
The officer smiled. "Thanks."
"I don't want any of you guys hurt, at all. Even if they're enemies of the job, all that, they should be smarter, smart enough not to get caught."
"Yeah, but we like the dumb ones. They're easier to catch."
"They panic more."
"True, and we hate that." He shrugged. "You do what you gotta do."
"We all do what we gotta do," Xander agreed. The officer grinned. "Yeah, they know if I hear about one of the other stations being a target I'll react. I'll do what I can to warn and stop it."
"Thanks, man." He patted him again. "Can you treat the 38th? Our boss is retiring soon and he's been a great man."
Xander nodded. "I can."
Don walked out. "He's got a small tumor thing that has to be taken out. He hasn't been in the kitchen since it grew," he told the officer. Who moaned. "It's a simple thing but it'll be a week."
"I can order."
"We actually had takeout last night," Don joked with a grin.
"You're having it again tonight," Xander assured him. "I don't have the focus to cook." The officer snickered. "I can order."
"That'd be great."
"I need numbers, any food allergies, and anything he likes." That got a nod and the officer went to tell others that. Xander took a kiss from Don. "Paperwork? You taste like envelope glue."
"Yeah. Wrote to my mother too." He took another kiss. "Keys." Xander handed them over and got off the Range Rover's hood.
"Detective, check that," one of the guards called. "He's been reading and not paying attention."
Don nodded, checking things over. He waved a hand that he could use someone. "At least we have the bomb shielding."
Xander looked. "It's the red wire I think."
"We can wait for bomb squad or H," he assured him. "Because you're too scattered."
"I wonder who did that." He considered it. "I guess this means I get to be evil again tomorrow too." He grinned at the bomb squad guy. "Someone wanted me to be less than bored tomorrow destroying them."
"Horatio said he hated it when you were in an evil mood, Harris." He got down to look at the bomb. "How many layers of shielding do you have?"
"Six, seven, something like that. It's heavier than a tank's at that area so I could drive over a landmine if I had to."
"No doubt," he muttered. He got it undone and went to look in the engine. "Do we have the shielding key?"
"Um, no," Xander said, looking in the glove box.
Don looked over his shoulder. "When did you get that?"
"Poker debt the other day."
Don took it and went to hand it to Calleigh. "Can you check this? Xander got it as a poker debt."
"Yeah, I can do that." She took it to run the serial number first. "Stolen and used," she announced when she saw what was under the serial.
Don nodded, walking back out there. "It was a used gun, Xander. You can't have those."
"Oops. I'll give Wade the other three so he can give them to her." He went back to picking the lock on the engine. It popped open.
The guy stared at it then at him. "Why don't you let auto pool do this tonight and you guys cab home? We won't touch any weapons in the car," he said patiently when Xander pouted at him. "That way we can admire it and plot to get one like Sanders has."
"Okay," he sighed. "Don't bother my game."
"I won't." He let Flack walk him off and groaned, calling auto pool. They'd have to get the flatbead to tow this thing. It wasn't as heavy as it could be, still drove pretty well, but the shielding was insane. "No wonder he drives this tank," he told Caine when he came out to see what was going on.
"We do like that it's safer and he lets us borrow it for special transports."
"Yeah, I can see why. That bomb I pulled off was a few weeks old it looked like."
"It has a few jammers built in. We like Xander driving his tank." The bomb squad guy laughed. "It takes a specific key."
"We can cast mold one or something."
"His garage has one. It's by the house. Jose's Auto."
"I can get it then." He called one of his guys to get it then they came to get the tank to the garage. Taylor and Caine came to look in the trunk pocket areas. Everyone else ignored the weapons and vests they pulled out. It was such a Harris thing to do. They even ignored the explosives. The money, the gems, the stranger weapons, all of it. No one could really tell Harris no that he'd listen to. "He said not to bother his game," the bomb squad guy called, finishing the engine wire. "How did they get it in here?"
Mac looked. "Ran it up the hole for the gas line?" He went back to looking in the back. "Dean was here. There's a _Playboy_."
Horatio laughed, joining him. "I believe Danny caught one of the younger community guards sneaking his girlfriend into it once."
"I was never that mean, but I might've asked if I could rent it on prom night when I was that age," Mac said.
"That would be a good rolling party if you could find a driver." The bomb squad guy walked off shaking his head. They went back to checking over the emergency supplies. The lube was expired so Horatio would tell Xander that in the morning.
Xander pulled up in front of Wade's the next morning. Anya leaned out and waved him to come in. "I have to restock the stuff in here. I wanted to know if you wanted to come help me." He got out and followed her inside.
"We're just now getting up, Xander. What needs to be restocked in your rolling sex shop?" She got him some juice.
He grinned. "Horatio said the lube was dead and so was most of the non-alcoholic stuff on the bar, and half of that was bad if it was opened. I'm out of bullets in the back and he reminded me to restock gas canisters into my emergency bag. Which means taking it out and checking it then restocking it."
Wade stared at him. "What emergency bag?" Xander waved his necklace. "What's in there?"
"A lot of stuff?" He grinned. "Some very handy stuff too."
"We can check that in a while." He got back to his breakfast. "I can do the beer stocking in the back too. How big is that mini fridge?"
"That's fine, we can stock pints or something then." He finished up and let Anya babble about stuff she needed to do to get back in shape after the birth.
"Remember, kegals were invented to get other things back to tight," Xander reminded her.
She nodded. "I've already been doing them. They say it can help push the baby out faster."
"Well, some women do have pain for about thirty-six hours of labor and some even say they spontaneously get off when they deliver," Xander offered.
Wade looked at him. "They probably have pain kinks."
"They said it's the hormones."
"Uh-huh. If you're sure."
"I saw an article on it the other day at the spa."
"I can't get back massages anymore," Anya pouted.
"You can get upper back, not lower back, but you can get leg and thigh work too," Xander reminded her. She perked up at that. "Just two more months."
"I know. It sucks." She looked at her stomach then at Wade. "I'm having everything clipped."
"There's actually a way you can have things burned," Xander said. "They say it doesn't hurt and in seventy percent of the women they don't ever have a period again."
She shook her head. "Some century I might want another one," she sighed. "That way it's reversible."
Wade stared at her. "Long after I'm dead?"
"Of course, dear. You're only human."
"So are you now," he reminded her. She sniffled and walked off crying. "Damn it," he muttered.
"Anya, want a cuddle?" Xander called. She shook her head, slamming her bedroom's door. Xander looked at him. "Two more months."
"Before she would've bitten me or something."
"Expect it later," Xander quipped.
"Good point. We're going to restock the SUV," he called. Xander put things into the dishwasher and started it. "That's her job, Xander."
"If you leave it, she'll bitch," he pointed out. They left together.
"The hormones go away immediately, right?"
"Taper back off. Within a month she should be back to normal. She might be sore a bit longer but she'll be unenlarged and down off the hormones according to the pregnancy sites I've been scanning for you."
"That's good to know." He blinked a few times then looked at him. "She's going to be that sore?"
"The baby comes out a hole that's ten centimeters, Wade. Babies are bigger. That's why they get stuck and it takes so many hours."
"Ow. That'd be like passing a kidney stone the size of a softball."
"So she'll have some muscle soreness. Though there have been women who've shown up at their six week postpartum appointment pregnant."
"No, she's getting clipped. That burning shut thing?"
"It's called an ablation. They can do it in the office at her doc's."
"I might look into that. That would mean more fun."
"Still have the regular hormones."
"I can spank for PMS," Wade said dryly. He got them to the warehouse. "Okay, let's see the bag first. Then we'll restock the behemoth."
"You don't like my SUV?" he asked.
"Don't you have a mood swing on me," he complained.
"I'm not. I like my SUV."
"It's very protected, it's very pleasure oriented, but it's not real subtle."
"Think you'd like my former lavender Range Rover better?"
"No. I'd never drive that thing and probably would've snuck in to paint it on you some night."
"Don always called it my gaymobile."
"Yeah, it probably was." He smirked. Xander swatted him on the arm. "Disarm for a few."
Xander took off the bag and unpacked the bags he had stored during their anti-fun roadtrip. Wade emptied those bags out, putting things where they needed to go. He stared at the silver case. "Jeep."
"That's a Jeep?" Xander unpacked it and he stared. "That is a jeep." Xander cleaned it out, checked the gas level, then put it back. That case got put onto a shelf then he got back to other things. Wade stared at what they were pulling out. "This isn't on the inventory."
"No, it's part of the apocalypse closet." He pointed. "Put it there." He did that and it disappeared. Xander got back to sorting out what he had used. Wade took the bullets to look at, flicking plenty of them onto the floor. "What? They're decent."
"No, these aren't. Most commercial bullets don't meet quality standards." He finished checking them over, then got into the bullet stash to add to the little platform. A good quarter of those needed to be tossed too. "I've got to get you a better supplier for those."
"Sure." Wade smiled because he was being easy. "Can you hand me the gas canisters since you're in there?" Wade looked and handed them over. "And the others. These are heavy gas." Wade handed over the other two boxes of canisters he found. Xander reloaded those empty spots. The rest got put back. Then they got to work on the other things. That bag got repacked and they went to do some better bullet shopping.
Xander got lube, because they were out at home too, and put the case into the trunk. Wade had cleaned those spots out to check things over too. Wade ran into the liquor store for the bar's needs, getting some sodas as well as gatorade to go with everything. Then they went home. Wade stocked the back once Xander had the lube in place. The rest got floated inside. Then they were done for the day so Wade had to take Xander shopping. Which he hated but oh well. It was the price of being a minion.
Wade dropped the bag of bullets on Calleigh. "Duds or below standard." He smirked. "Thought you could use them."
"I probably can. Thank you, Wade. How's Anya?"
"Cranky. She can't have sex for the next two months." He smirked. "She's pouty that I can." He walked off.
She shook her head quickly. "Okay then." She took the bullets to log in the drop off and check them over. They could be put into her spare bullet needs cabinet. Half were defective so those got tossed into the destruction bin. "No wonder they sorted them." She got back to work on the other stuff she had to do. It was a pretty day and she hadn't had a case yet.
Strife was still bouncy and high. He was pacing. He had been able to release a little bit of the energy repainting everything in sight purple paisley. The other Gods had sighed in displeasure but knew he was going to explode if he didn't do something.
"Two more days," Discord said. "Can't you hold it down?"
"No! Xander took on a street gang." He sat down, his legs still jiggling. Ares bound him to the chair so he jiggled those straps instead. A sudden thought hit him and he looked at Ares. Who was giving him a horrified look. "That wasn't my idea."
"I know." He sent a thought back at Ryan Wolfe, but he was busy and about to get shot at. He considered things. "We might have to break the occlusion."
"We can't," Discord said. "It's dangerous. It'll also drain us."
"If we don't, Xander's going to prove that all of Miami wants him," Strife complained. He was sending thoughts at his boy to calm down, to please calm down. But Xander was planning on being a bit evil to those who hated he was gay. Straight bashing wasn't that cute on him but it was certainly evil. And hey, recruiting for the ass sex side worked for Xander really well. He was nearly praying he wouldn't go do that. He prayed at Ryan, at anyone else he could get. Jace sent back that she'd try. They all tried to relax but the naughty, kinky, fully evil feeling was growing.
Jace called Horatio. "Darling, it's Jace. For some reason people are panicking about what Xander might be doing tonight or tomorrow night. Do you think you can distract him?" She smiled. "Yes, I think even Ares panicked a little bit. Something about making sure the gay bashers weren't going to deny their lusts anymore." He hung up with a moan. "Let's hope someone can stop the boy. He's more naughty than I was when I was a man."
Horatio called Danny and Don into his office. "I just got an interesting call from a smoky voiced female who said that Xander was going to make all the gay bashers stop."
"Sounds like Jace," Danny said. He considered it. "That's not a good idea."
"No, it's not," Don agreed. "Though it's funny he thinks he can take all the gay hating gang kids and make them want him too."
"He probably can," Danny pointed out. "They'd probably kick his ass for it too."
"Which would make that damn tumor grow and get worse," Don agreed. "Which means he'll go fully evil and then we're all in trouble." He looked in his phone. It had all the same contacts Xander's did. "Fu, Don Flack. If my bitch is there, confine him. Call us. Wherever he is. No, he's taking aim at the gay bashers tonight. Please? Thanks. Let us know. Another few days before it can be removed, Fu. Please?" He hung up. "He's shuddering but he'll confine him so he doesn't do anything too stupid."
"That's fine," Horatio agreed. "Just stop him before he does something that will get us noticed." They nodded, going to find their boy. Horatio rubbed his forehead. This was insane. They had to get that tumor gone sooner instead of later. For some reason it kept growing. He did remind Don of that, letting him check his boy over for injuries later. Before it got too huge to remove.
Ares sent explicit instructions at Xander when they were nearly free. He was to go to the woods, the hidden house or not, and wait on them to remove that damn tumor and whatever was causing it to grow. No taking the horses, they might get infected. He could bring someone if he wanted, but they needed to know they'd be doused in that backlog. Because even he was twitchy now. Xander was thinking 'make Miami safer' thoughts that would be a short, messy war. Which Xander would probably win since he wouldn't die when they shot him back. He watched Strife stand perfectly still and twitch now and then. When he got to that stage, they all started to consider opening a spot of void and putting him in it for a year or so until they were safe. This time, it might not help enough. Finally, the barrier came down and Ares went to steal Apollo, who was lounging with the muses. "We're going to remove that tumor."
"Why do I have to?" he complained as he got pulled. "It's not like it's going to get that bad that soon."
"It's growing for some reason, even when he's not dying, and he's gotten Strife to the point of standing still."
"Damn." They went to find Xander, who was, as ordered, sitting among the fairy rings by the stream. Apollo looked, staring at him. "You're rotten."
"I am not." He pouted. "I'm a good boy most of the time. Even Horatio and Ryan say so."
"My chosen is wrong," Ares said. "Anyone else out here?" Xander shook his head. "Fine. Apollo?" He checked then stared at him in awe. "What's making it grow?"
"The herbs someone keeps trying to dust him with." He shook some out of Xander's hair. It was loose today.
"The fairies took me thinking I was a damsel for a few minutes," Xander said with a grin.
"No doubt," Apollo teased. He got pouted at and his stomach, and lower parts, clenched. "Don't do that to me. I'll leave it for another day."
"Oh no you won't," Ares ordered. "Or I'm sending Strife to your temple." Apollo shuddered and removed the tumor. Yup, it was the herbs. He cleared those and removed the remains he hadn't been able to grab the last time. Xander surged and surged and broadcast until even the protected worlds inside the fairy rings were having orgies. They could hear the horses getting agitated and Pride summoning his herd. Ares was twitchy for whole new reasons and Apollo was sweating like Hephaestus when he was working at the forge to make something to cure 'Dite's PMS. "That all of it?"
"No, damn it. It's still growing." He took Xander back to his temple. He was an anchor, he could do that. Then he brought him back once he was detoxed. All of Olympus was screwing and Strife was hiding in a closet because Cupid was hunting him with a few others to play slut boy for them. Apollo smiled. "There, better now." He went back to his temple and passed out. The prayers were sweet but he had come a lot inside his shiny speedos.
Xander carefully hugged Ares. "I'm sorry if I upset any plans," he said quietly.
"It's all right. You didn't." He patted him on the back, getting a squeeze. "Xander, I'm about to flip you over and use you like a concubine should be." Xander let him go with a sheepish grin. "Go home. I'll figure out which herbs those are and tell Adam." He left, going to shower off the hormones sticking to him. He heard someone call his name and scrubbed harder. He was not being pinned down today. He went to his most secret mortal temple and let them rut while he scrubbed himself free of sex appeal. It was a hard job, but being on the bottom was harder. At least on his ass.
Xander got up and smiled. "I'm sorry," he told the watching fairy. "I did not plan on doing that."
The fairy nodded. "We missed having littles, human. Thank you."
"I didn't mean to affect you."
"That's all right. Go find your own woman."
Xander grinned. "My boyfriends are at work."
"Hmm, no wonder you have the hair then. Go do something else." Xander nodded, leaving the area. The fairy guard went to report that. The King knew what was going on and they reacted to help soothe people's needs. There was nothing they could do about it really.
Xander got back to the corvette, finding Jensen waiting, watching the horses be mounted. "Pride, get off her," he called. "You're fixed." The watching crew gave him a dirty look. "Sorry! They removed that tumor again."
"Clearly," Jensen said, pulling him closer. "You okay?"
"Lord Apollo said that some herbs were making it grow. He found some in my hair."
"We can get you home and bathe you," he promised.
Xander leaned closer. "I think I created a F.O.D. thing with the fairies," he said quietly.
"Fuck or die," he muttered, looking down.
Jensen hugged him. "It'll be okay, Xander. I promise it will be." He got him into the car and drove them off. He wasn't a great driver like Pooch but better than Xander in this state. He did get pulled over for a ticket but the officer wanted to lick Xander so she let them off with a warning to get home immediately. Jensen promised that's where they were heading because Xander had been herbed. He drove them back to the house and got out, helping Xander out and to the bathroom to start a good, long, hot shower for him. Then maybe a long soak. He looked out at the toy drawers then back at him. "Need something to help?"
"No, I'm okay," he said quietly. Jensen gave him a hug and left him to scrub. It was definitely relaxing and when he heard the tub start, he finished his shower. That would help him relax. He slid down into the bubbles with a sigh of pleasure. Jensen left him some juice and went to set things up in the bedroom. Xander looked out there but it wasn't anything he could see. "What're you doing?"
"I'm going to make sure that Don and Danny want to help finish off your backlog," he said with a grin. Xander grinned back. "Get soft and pretty." Xander nodded, taking his special loufah brush to his feet and other rough areas. Jensen got out what he'd need for right now and then set it aside. He looked at the bed, noticing a crack in one of the poles that held the canopy portion. "Xander, did you know about this crack?"
"I've been meaning to squirt some glue in it to make sure it doesn't keep growing," he called. "There's some in the workshop. I'll do it when I get out."
"I can." He went to get it and came back to fix that. Xander loved this bed. He'd be devastated if it got broken. He made sure the night's cuffs didn't touch near that part and changed the sheets on him. That way they were the softer, silkier ones. That would help. He heard a thump and went to look. Xander had hit a mouse with his brush. Jensen shot it and went to hand it to Hubert. He ate it happily.
"Watch for more, Hubert." He told the wary looking guard pulling in that it had been a mouse problem. That got a nod and he left again. Jensen went back inside to check on the ferrets. All cleaned up after and playing. He put in a new toy for them and closed them back in. Hubert got fed and he was happier. Jensen went back to building his Xander fantasy night for the trio. They seriously needed some couples time.
Cougar showed up, looking amused. "¿Qué sucedió? (What happened?)"
"They removed the tumor. He's so backed up he made all the little fairy rings go into a fuck or die situation."
"It's an online term, usually used when you're talking about a biotoxin release that means you'll die if you don't screw like dogs in heat," Jensen explained with a grin. "Like with that bio terrorists we stopped four years ago? His stuff would do the same thing." Cougar just nodded at that. He remembered having to take down his lab and the list of precautions they had gotten if they got exposed. Including that the Army had wanted them to die instead of screw. "Xander's backlog when the tumor got removed, and it was some herbs that caused it to grow, got those little fairy rings by the river and the horses."
"Eso es un área grande de la contaminación. (That is a large contamination area.)"
"Exactly. So we need to make sure he can wear out the rest of it tonight. We're doing a sweeter version of the nasty, kinky day we planned while in LA. So can you tell him filthy things you'd usually only tell the whores you pick up? Preferably in Spanish?" Cougar looked at him like he was insane. He slowly shook his head. "C'mon, Cougs. Please?" he begged quietly. "It'll help. I'll be doing the same thing."
Cougar sighed but shrugged, sitting down. Hubert came over to snuggle so he petted the dragon. Jensen went back to making sure things were sweet yet nasty enough. Xander finally got out and lotioned down, which smelled very nice on him. Jensen helped him into a thin pair of dance pants. Xander found a plug and put it in. Jensen hugged him and brought him out to tease him. Cougar said something mildly naughty. Xander said something back and Cougar blushed. That was so sweet of him. Cougar said something more naughty and Xander shivered. Jensen grinned at him for that. So he could play along this time. It might help Jensen calm down too. Clay had ordered him to get Jensen calmed down earlier.
Jensen put on a porn movie, het even, and then let Xander snuggle in so he could tease him with filthy things said in multiple languages. Including Japanese. Xander was getting happy but not too happy. Cougar threw in his own remarks at the movie. He was more used to wooing women. Men were different and needed different things. The movie was horrible. Seriously not realistic and he would've put her out of her misery, and him for all his brains being in his balls. "What man can shoot that way?" Jensen complained.
Xander grinned. "I've seen some that could."
Jensen grinned at him. "I'll leave your experience at the top of the chart then. I know I don't."
"Yeah but we don't put out useable swimmers. So probably less stuff."
"Maybe." He hugged Xander. "Anything better?" Xander whispered in his ear and he went to find it in the movie room. He came back and slid that tape into the VCR. It was one of the older ones. "Wow, way classic." It was a better film. Had a bit more dialogue. The actors were prettier and better quality.
A stack of movies appeared on the ottomans and Xander looked then up. "I have all but one of those, thank you." They disappeared. Some others appeared. "Um, real people slash," he complained. "I don't want to know that about the people I see on tv. That's personal and private." They stayed. "Fine, whatever." Jensen snuggled him and Cougar made comments about the movie. Which was really hot. When it was nearly time for them to come home, Jensen called to make sure they wouldn't be late. Xander was humming and happy. Don promised he'd be home in an hour and warned him they were a bit tired.
Jensen got Xander into the bedroom, rubbed down with some oil. "Want the sling put up or the simple handcuffs?"
"Yup, that way you can't wiggle away," Jensen teased, stroking his stomach. "Want toys or a plug?"
"Plug's nice. Feels good." He clamped down on it a few times. "Feels good."
Jensen got him down onto the bed and got a different plug, this one a bit bigger. He swapped them out, tossing the other one into the 'clean me' basket beside the bed. He laid out the few he had selected on the bedside table. He smiled at Xander, who was watching. "Just some suggestions." He kissed him. "Need anything?" Xander shook his head. Jensen pulled out a blindfold.
"I don't usually...."
"I know. It'll be me right here until they get home." Xander nodded, relaxing. "Cougar, can you please set something out to be warmed up?" Cougar did that while Jensen slid the sleep mask/blindfold over Xander's eyes. "There, how's that?"
"Very little sliver of light, which is comforting."
"I know it can be." He stroked his stomach, earning a hiss. "See, it makes it better." Xander nodded quickly. "Good boy. Center yourself. Remember, they've got to finish wearing out the backlog." Xander moaned and nodded. "Want me to do the foot straps so you're nicely spread?"
"No, I'm okay." He shifted so his knees were pointed in opposite directions. "Can I have another pillow under my head?" Jensen did that and made sure he was comfortable. "The strap's not near the break?"
"Not in the least. Plus, I fixed it," he said, stroking over his hair. "Want to keep it braided?" He disarmed all the hairpins, getting a smile for it. "I'm sure they don't like poked." He put one next to his head. "Here, just in case you need it. One of the longer, ultra sharp ones." He put the hand over it, getting a nod. "You're so hot like this." Xander relaxed, letting himself be in the moment. Cougar came to the doorway and started to say filthy stuff, which got Xander harder. Jensen carefully applied the cockring and it was better. They heard a car pull up.
"Clay," Cougar warned. He went to stop him, shaking his head in the doorway. "No."
"He's usually busy."
Jensen leaned out. "He's naked." He grinned. "He's waiting on Don."
"I wanted to go over the two new assault rifles."
"They're in the office," Jensen said, letting him do that. He went back to sit beside Xander and keep him hot and hard. Clay left. Cougar left after nodding at him. Jensen smiled. It wasn't too much longer and him panting in Xander's ear, not totally faked because he was hard too, was nice. He gathered those tapes and took them once Don walked in. Don paused to stare. "This way the last of the backlog is gone." Jensen walked past him, heading for the car.
Don took off his jacket and put it aside, then his shirt. "That is a very pretty look." He leaned down to kiss him.
"Yeah, I had some on the way home for energy." He took another kiss. "Danny's about twenty behind me." He slipped off his pants, looking at things. The intention was clear. Don got something else, the long, not real flexible dildo with the good handle. He slipped out the plug and inserted it, using it to make Xander mutter, shift, and keen until he got ready to help him physically. "That's very pretty."
"Don, kinda hurts," he admitted. Don stopped and checked. "Stretchy hurt?"
"Wrong angle hurt."
"Sure." He put that into the basket and came back to tease him and use something shorter. That one had been a bit long and had probably hit too high up. Xander was wiggling for better reasons when Danny walked in and stared. "Isn't he pretty?"
"Very pretty." He moved closer. "The blindfold's a nice touch."
"Jensen made me pretty for you."
"I can tell. You're not usually this kinky," Danny said, taking his own kiss. He ran a hand over the sweaty stomach and chest, then back up. "I like this." He got undressed and laid down beside Xander, taking something to play with. The vibrator had more uses than just against his hole. Xander was more than happy to have their help to cure his backlog.
Jensen knocked on Horatio's door, smiling as he handed over the tapes. "Someone gave them to Xander."
Horatio looked then moaned. "They're not commercially available, are they?"
"No and we all thought it was unkind to hand him personal sex tapes." He shrugged. "You have the tact we don't." He left.
Horatio took them to the kitchen to put them into a spare paper bag. He'd track down the owners somehow in the morning. Half of them probably weren't in Miami. Speed gave him a kiss to make it all better, tasting like the spaghetti sauce he was warming up. "Hmm, that is much nicer than personal pornography."
"I'm all the porno you need anyway," Speed assured him with a wink.
"Yes, you definitely are." He put his hands on his mate's hips and took another kiss. This was a nice dinner, even if it didn't go on the spaghetti.
Xander heard a rumor about SWAT not having what they needed and sighed. He went to the boss, who still didn't like him because he had sex with Don and Danny, and sometimes Jensen or Ryan. "What do you need to train him?" he asked as he walked in.
"A lot of tracking practice and some woodsy-like areas."
Xander leaned down and drew out a map on the back of something. "My farm. Don't let anyone hurt the guys who work there, my horses, or any of us. And don't break the locks on the hidden house in the woods. It's an emergency plan place. The surrounding lands were unsold the last I knew." He looked at him. "And watch out for fairy rings."
"Yeah, I'm certain. Don't hurt my woods. Don't hurt the horses or us when we're out there. Stay away from the fairy rings because they'll mess you up if you piss them off. Those are rings of toadstools. Most of them are by the stream."
"I can take him out there this weekend. Thanks."
"Welcome." He smirked. "I know Cougar doesn't mind being asked to step in but I also know some defense attorney somewhere will probably challenge that."
"True. We could use a grant for training."
Xander smirked at him. "I only baby the lab that way, dude. Also, you might ask the training center if they can help? We've got a bunch of former spooks, agents, and commandos who retired to the area."
"I know about the place. My brother goes there. I'll ask." Xander smiled and left. He leaned out. "Tell Peter we found a spot to train him at and to watch out for fairy rings."
"Like ring of toadstools?" one asked. The head of SWAT nodded. "Why?"
"There's some on Harris' farm. He has a few acres of woods, a hidden house for backup purposes, and all sorts of things. We can use it for tracking exercises too."
That officer nodded. "Should've remembered he had the farm with the horses. He and Wolfe have beasts out there." The head guy nodded. "I can tell him we're going this weekend. Want me to ask the scary, silent sniper sort if he'd work with him?"
"I can. Thanks." He got up and went visiting. It was always better to visit and he had forgotten about the training center. He found the skinny, hacker one just back from a jog. "Cougar in?"
"On the roof by the pool watching the drug dealers off-port." He grinned. "Need to bum him again? We're not presently aware of any upcoming things outside the convention planning."
"Training. When is the convention? That way I know to prepare for those who'll want to play when Caine's gone."
"Week and a half."
"Harris is letting us use his farm this weekend."
Jensen nodded. "There's at least twelve other snipers in town who aren't PD." He went to his apartment. "Take the stairs up, Chief."
"Thanks, kid." He went up to the pool/sitting area, finding the guy watching things through a scope. "They in international waters?" Cougar nodded. "Pity. We're going to run the guys through some tracking and woods maneuvers at Harris' farm this weekend."
Cougar looked at him. "I can. The next weekend is bad though."
"I heard from the hacker. He really could use some more weight."
"He's more solid than he looks," Clay said from his seat in the sun. "Want us to play against your boys this weekend if we aren't off rescuing someone?"
"If you guys want, I wouldn't mind." He smiled. "I'd like warned about when travel plans are taking place if you can, Clay. People like to play harder when Horatio's out of town. They think they can get away with it. Especially during conventions when we lose him, Speedle, and Messer from the lab, and sometimes Wolfe, and then Flack from Homicide."
Clay smirked. "They're all leaving late Thursday night. Convention's in a week and a half. They should be back early Monday. They're flying overnight Sunday."
"That'll work. We can be aware then. Who's staying?"
"Two locals, me, and Pooch."
"Thank you." He smiled. "It should be all right, though there's been a strange current recently about Harris?"
"That tumor," Clay said. "They've taken care of it."
"Good to know. So they're worried he's going to stay in evil mode?" Clay nodded. "We sure?"
"He promised to end all of the underground if they ever fucked with the lab or his boys again after those couple of wannabes tried their shit. They know he'll retaliate if they go after other officers too."
"One asked," Cougar told him.
"I'm sure the kid said he'd be proactively kicking ass." Clay smirked at the head of SWAT. "He doesn't want real control."
"I know. We actually like that about the boy. Thanks." He left, going back to the office. They could train their guys. They had to be better for the day that Harris died because they finally decided he was too gay.
Clay looked at Cougar. "You can talk to the others to see if they want to help." Cougar nodded he would. Then he went back to watching. "Anything we can use."
Cougar snickered, nodding. His scope was taping everything for Horatio and the lab's use. They hated drug dealers. It was nice that Xander made a lot of them beg for their money back recently. Maybe things would be quiet for the convention.
to next story
back to index