Notes: Pretty much the whole Imaginings list wanted me to do this idea. So I'll give it a try.
Super GHS Xander to the Rescue!
Xander looked up from his suntanning in the backyard of his house in Miami as a demon he knew pretty well from some poker games appeared. "What's up? Going to pay me the kittens you owe me?" he asked with a small grin.
"No. I came to tell you that there is one who is nearly as wanted as you are." Xander lowered his sunglasses to stare at him. "If it would cancel my poker debt I would gladly give you this information."
"I can handle that instead of a herd of cats. Who is this one? Do they know about the group?"
The demon sat in front of him. "The one who is wanted is younger. Barely into his adulthood. They think he broke out when he hit his maturity." Xander nodded slowly at that because that was a common thing among other GHS. "They say he is from another dimension, not far off this one. That he has magic and is less provoked to the fits you throw that destroy realms." Xander just smirked at that. "That there is one major villain, not a demon but a human changed one, who wants him badly enough that he might be given to them as a present."
"Oh, hell no!" Xander said dryly, sitting up and pushing his sunglasses back up his nose once he was on his knees. "How do I get there so I can tell the poor kid? We *all* know I'm not going to let a kid get hurt or kidnaped."
The demon smiled. "I can give you the coordinates and a charm to make sure you're in the right realm."
"Please." The demon handed it over. "What's his name?"
"That I do not know. I know he is called Chosen while you are still called Knight." He bowed and Xander kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you, Knight."
"Welcome. Next time, don't bluff that badly, dude." He stood up. "If anyone asks, I'm using that neutral meeting realm that Vessie left me to talk to him." That got a nod. "Do we know anything else about him? His home life? Is he already taken by a keeper? Anything?"
"Not at the moment. I would go there and watch for a few minutes before I would interrupt." The demon stood up. "It is said that Chosen is not much different than you and they are very hungry waiting to see where he levels out at." The demon disappeared.
Xander walked into the house, patting his dogs on the head as he headed for the bedroom. A quick shower, a change into something he could fight in but look respectable in. He didn't want to show up in leathers this time. Dress clothes made a better first impression, but he'd pack a bag to take with him. Including more weapons.
One of the never-ending bags was found and filled with clothes, money and gems for ready cash, and a few select weapons he might need. He put on his shoes, his sunglasses, then wrote his boys a note. Helping another GHS who just broke out. Be home soon, going off realm. That should give them all they needed to know. He rubbed the necklace that got him to the meeting realm Vesvold had left him when he had been assassinated, looking around it. A bit of cleaning... and then a scrying spell. What he saw.... Yeah, the kid was like a minor verison of him and Buffy put together. That was not going to be allowed on his watch. Xander watched for a few minutes, waiting until it was dark. Then he got an idea. He needed some help. He summoned his last students, covering their mouths and pointed at the scrying pool. "He just broke out, guys."
Dean and Sam Winchester stared at the scrying portal. Then they looked at him. "What's so big about him?" Dean asked finally.
Xander grinned and changed something to show him. "That one wants him. When I first started to scry his recent history, he was just in a battle with that thing and his forces of evil. He's a changed human. Looks like a partial demonic transformation for power."
Sam stared at it then at him. "How high do we think he is?"
"The one who canceled his kitten poker debt by telling me said they're drooling over the kid like they do me. He just broke out."
Dean nodded. "So you'll pull him wherever here is, tell him the necessary things, and then send him back?" he suggested.
"I might stick around to view a bit more. I have the feeling there's some deeper shit going on in his life, guys. But I need someone to guard us. If he's that wanted...."
"We'll have another of those amusing chase scenes on a demon plane?" Sam asked dryly with a grin.
"Probably," Dean agreed. "Okay, now what?"
"Now, let's go talk to our new student." He opened the portal, walking out and nudging the boy before sitting beside him. "Hey, Xander Harris. We've got to talk about this hormone problem of yours, Harry."
"How did you know and where did you come from?" he asked quietly, sitting up. Xander pointed at the portal. "How on earth?"
Xander grinned. "Different form of magic." He winked. "I know about the hormone thingy because I have it too. I'm here to teach you what you need to know to handle it and not be sold into slavery or kidnaped into it." The door opened and Xander stared at the very hefty man standing in the doorway. "I was sent to tutor Harry in a new physical problem he has."
"Another freak like him?" he sneered. "You can tell by the hair."
Xander stood up and pulled his gun out, pointing it at him. "No, I'm not like him." He smirked. "But I am a combat veteran of many apocalypses. We'll be taking Harry safely somewhere for about a week and then bring him back before school starts. He'll be very safe and you can tell whoever that I'll keep him safe from *all* sources of problems. From demons on down."
"How did you get in here?" he demanded. Xander pointed at the portal behind him. "How did you do that?" he said, looking miserable.
"Different forms of magic. Up, Harry. Dean?" He came out of the portal. "Help him get his stuff please?" Dean nodded, helping the kid gather his stuff. A small demon appeared, glaring at him. He stared down at it, making his hormones jump up a bit. It gaped in awe then hugged his knees before helping them pack. "Huh. What are you?"
"House elf," Harry said. "They'll get me for that magic."
Xander snickered. "Harry, that's demonic magic. They're not picking that up. It's nothing like what you guys do." Harry stared at him in horrified awe. "I've been kidnaped by a few, kid. You're about to be. That's why someone kindly canceled their poker debt to tell me about you so we could get you guarded and helped. Now, hurry up. The portals are a pain in my hair."
Dean smirked at him. "I still say that's too much hair for anyone, Xander."
"Well, yeah, but my boys like it." He grinned at the older man, making him turn and flee. "Good, I'm glad my gayness scared him off. He kinda stinks a bit. Must've been sweating." He put back his gun.
Harry grabbed his wand, getting the rest of his stuff that had been hidden with a simple accio. He wrote out a note and Xander added to it, making him smirk. "They'll still panic."
"They'll panic less if we get you settled down. Otherwise someone might sell you into physical, sexual slavery, kid."
Dean sighed, nodding. "Someone tried that with us the other day."
"Sammy get 'em?" Xander asked. "Or is that my fun?"
"Oh, we got 'em," Dean assured him. He looked at the owl that was on the windowsill. "Into the cage, bird."
"Hedwig, it's all right." She tried to fly off. Dean caught her around the middle. "Don't hurt her."
"I'm not. I've got her feet gently so she can't claw me. It's not hurting her, Harry. I promise. I don't hurt kids or creatures unless they're killing people." He walked the owl through the portal. Sam came to help Harry carry his trunk. Xander followed and closed the portal behind them, leaving it open a crack so he could monitor the situation via scrying spell. Harry set the cage down and Sam found a better perch with a fake tree, hefting it over next to the cage for the poor thing. Dean carefully put it over the branch, staring at it. "I'm going to let you go, there's a branch right under you, bird." He let go and she clutched on, hooting when Harry came over to check her. "She's a familiar?"
"And my mail bird, and a friend," Harry agreed, giving him a weak smile. "Demons want to kidnap me?"
"Harry, with your hormones fluxing the way they are, everything and everyone wants to kidnap you," Sam said, patting him on the back. "I set up a testing kit, Xander."
"Cool beans." He walked Harry over to the sitting area. "This is a neutral demon realm, a meeting area. I was left it by a very good friend when he died."
"You know good demons?" Harry asked, looking confused.
"Yeah, I know a few of them. Vesvold was on the High Council over demons. He was negotiating a few peace treaties between clans when one of them had him assassinated." He swallowed. "Anyway," he sighed when Sam gave him a shoulder pat. "Recently, you've probably felt cloudy headed?" Harry nodded slowly. "And you do something pleasurable, especially sex, and it gets better suddenly?"
"Yeah. The nurse said I had increased pheromones for some reason. She wasn't sure why."
"We know," Sam assured him. "There's a group in our realm called GHS. It's for people who have that same condition."
Xander nodded, pulling out the information packet. "Don't let the name fool you, Harry. We started out as a support group among concubines." He let the kid read it over, then stare at them in horror. He grinned. "Let's do the level testing." He pointed at the test kit. "Sam and Dean are level fives. I'm a level ten and usually pretty backed up, which as you read is dangerous." Harry nodded. "Three drops of blood on the square of gauze, kid."
Harry nicked himself and added the blood, watching as Xander dropped the droppers of liquid onto the pad. Then he was handed the result panel on the back of the test kit. "That says I'm a level eight?"
"You are," Xander agreed. "Now, if you're surging, which you're not right now, you can go higher. Surging and keeping it out-of-control is something that's guaranteed to get you the wrong sort of attention. Which is why a demon canceled his poker debt by coming to tell me about you. There's a lot of them who're hoping your enemy gives you to them to get you out of his way."
Harry stiffened, staring at him. "Could he do that?"
"If he knew about this? Yup. You're high enough and haven't kept it down enough that a few higher ones know about you. I was told there was a lot of drooling going on."
"Shite," he muttered. He leaned back, staring at them. "How do I control it?"
"You keep yourself out of backlog. You find a way to keep it under wraps with a keeper. At your level a protector would probably be helpful as well," Xander told him. Both boys nodded. "Also, when I was scrying your recent past, I saw the last battle you were in." He grinned. "I'm a veteran of a hellmouth and the various apocalypses and problems we had there, Harry. These two are demon hunters." Harry gaped. "So I think we might be able to help you with more than your hormones but I didn't know about that until I scried."
Harry leaned forward again. "You've been in battles?"
"Real ones. Planned them even." Xander got up and led him to the scrying portal, watching the people freak out in Harry's bedroom over the note. One of them was staring where the portal was, making him grin. "Who's that?"
"That's Mad Eye Moody. His fake eye can see magic."
Xander wrote out something, making Harry grin, then he sent it to him through the portal. The guy caught it and glared at it then coughed to get attention, handing it over. The adults did not look happy. "Pity but better for you if it's handled." He reset the portal, letting Harry see his past battles, making the kid stare at him in awe. He shrugged. "She needed backed up. I jumped in. That's why demons called me a Knight and you Chosen."
"I don't like being a chosen one."
"Neither did Buffy, that's why she started to drink. The alcohol made her screw up greatly too. Don't follow that path."
"I won't." He looked at him. "Can we get me trained in how to keep these down? I don't need more danger in my life."
"I can teach you how to manage it, how to wear it out in many ways and forms. I can tell you about the group allergies and all that good stuff. I can also teach you how to use a sword, how to dress better, and all sorts of neat stuff like I would a little brother," he offered with a grin. Harry relaxed and nodded. "Good boy. Are you still tired?"
"A little bit."
"We have time. Once I shut this portal we'll be back out of time again." The Winchestes looked at them. "Your car's outside, Dean."
"I saw it." He looked at the kid. "Check the portal, make sure they're not going to be able to break through?"
Xander checked it and then nodded. "Only that one guy is still there." He threw something in the water. "Ah, hidden magically. Pity." He whispered something into the pool, making them flee. That one guy stood there. "Good." He opened it and walked Harry to it. "I'm helping him. I got told by some demons that there's a good chance he'd be taken due to his little problem."
"Who're you to help him?" he asked calmly. "We can do that for our own people."
He grinned. "I'm from a hellmouth. I fought beside a slayer for five years. With me are two other demon hunters who've been doing it all their lives. We all have the same problem he does."
Mad Eye looked at the boy. "You want this?"
"If it'll keep me from being kidnaped, then I'm not going to argue. He's been in real battles, Moody."
Xander nodded. "I did. I planned a battle to help stop a demonic ascension." Mad Eye shuddered. He grinned. "I'll make sure Harry's well taken care of and I'll try to get him back by the start of school but I'll need to finish closing the portal to do that so we can go out of time. No demons can get where we are. He'll be very safe with me."
Dean strolled over. "Xander's been taken by half of all the demons in the universes, dude. He's wrecked whole realms for them taking him. He said the demons were drooling over this one. Better to get him to handle it and teach him what he can and can't do to help himself than to have to rescue him repeatedly, right?"
"Fine. We have wellness charms on him."
"Cool," Xander agreed. "It'll be fine. Really." He grinned. "Calm them down. I can't stand huffy women anymore." He closed the portal with a snap, looking at the boy. Then he finished closing it off, letting the timelessness kick in. "There." He walked Harry back to the couch. "Let's go over the basics. How you suppress them and how to tell when you're surging."
"Should I take notes?" Harry asked.
"The more who know about this, the more at risk you are," Sam told him. "That's why one of the fundamental rules of the group is 'you don't tell about other members'."
"I can see why. How do I learn to control this?"
"Let's get you started with telling when you're backed up," Xander told him. He got them something to nibble on while they talked and taught the kid. He was still a virgin. Had barely gotten to the point of masturbating now and then. He was eighteen in four days. Xander finally sent the boys to bed, staring at his newest student. "Okay, I'm going to be blunt," he said quietly as he undid his shirt, letting Harry see the scars. The kid swallowed then looked away. "Not all from hunting and fighting, Harry."
Harry looked down then nodded. "I can't say I don't have some of my own," he admitted, looking up at him.
"I figured you had to since you're a bit smaller than a seventeen-year-old boy should be." He gave him a gentle smile. "Maybe we can fatten you up a bit." Harry grinned back. He handed over something. "This is my house in Miami. If you *ever* need me, you come see me. Understood? Even if it's because you need to get away from them or your keeper."
"I can do that." He put it into his pocket. "Can you teach me how to do that portal spell?"
"Of course," he said with a grin. "I'm not that powerful but I learned that one because it's damn handy when you've been kidnaped." He smirked. "Go to bed. We'll talk some more over breakfast." Harry nodded, going to what was his room. He looked at the owl. "Want me to set up a perch in there for you, Hedwig?" She hooted. "I need a familiar. Or maybe my ferrets are mine. If so, I've got some fun, cuddly, wiggly familiars." He went to move something into Harry's room so she could perch and watch over him. "There." She flew in and landed, getting comfortable in the small nest he had made her with a table and a large bowl. "Harry, there should be food stores for her so don't worry about that." He left, closing his door most of the way so he could head to his own. He found Dean waiting on him, giving him a hug. "You're the bestest guard and student I know."
Dean grinned. "Figured that was why we got the call."
"Sam and I can go over a lot of stuff. Plus Sam's got that whole chosen thing too."
"They can help each other. Sammy's still backed up half the time," he complained.
Xander gave him a wicked grin. "I'd fix that but we're not in a desperate situation. My boys said only in desperate situations, Dean."
Dean pinched him on the arm. "I'd have to watch him come back from the heart attack anyway, Xander." He sat on the foot of the bed, letting Xander lay down to look at him. "Now what?"
"Harry needs the same lessons I gave you. Including how to revel and how not to rut. How to shop better. How to use a sword since their people don't seem to use guns. Didn't we see him in a book?" he mouthed. Dean nodded. "Thought so. That's kinda neat."
"Very," Dean agreed. He patted him on the foot. "Rest. Try not to keep us up when you wear out your hormones, Xander." He stood up and went back to his room. "Sammy, I swear to Janus, go wear those out!" he demanded.
"I tried," he complained.
"Do we need medicine to help you get it up?"
"I've got toys in my bag," Xander called.
"No thanks," Sam said, shaking his head quickly. "Not that desperate."
"Bet me," Xander called back. He walked in wearing only his thong, handing two over. "Brand new, just out of the package," he said with a grin. Sam moaned. "Sam, it's bad when the demons want you more than me. It really is. Kinda sad too. Makes me wonder what's wrong with my hair that day." He went back to his room, listening to Harry laugh. "Some day I'll get to nag you that way, Harry. Go to sleep, kiddo." He went back to his lonely, large bed. He tried to go to sleep but it wasn't working. He sighed and got up, going to climb in with Dean. He wouldn't mind. Much. As long as he kept his hands to himself Dean wouldn't mind too much. Dean sighed in displeasure but Xander curled up against his side and it was nice. Warm. Nearly as good as sleeping on Don.
Dean looked down at his new bed accessory. Sammy smirked at him. "I'm going to learn that levitating spell so I can stick those in you when you need it, Sammy. You're stinking up the room with hormones worse than Xander is." Sam sighed but went to take a shower and handle himself. Before Dean found him someone to handle it for him. Dean looked down at Xander, shaking his head. "We've got to get you a life-size blow up doll to sleep with," he muttered. But it was nice not to sleep alone sometimes.
Harry woke up the next morning and went to bathe, moaning at the bathroom that was attached to his temporary bedroom. It had a huge soaking tub like they had at the school but it also had a nice looking shower with three shower heads for some reason he didn't understand. It had a large pedestal sink and a closeted toilet off on one side. It had a couch in there for some reason too. A lot of mirrors and light. He went to try the shower, pouting when it didn't work.
Sam knocked then walked in and pushed something. "Xander had the water off while he wasn't using this place." He patted him on the head. "Play around a bit. It'll be about an hour before Xander's done with breakfast."
"An hour?" he asked.
Sam grinned. "Xander likes to cook, Harry. It's one of his daily pleasures." He left him alone to shower and get ready for the day ahead.
Harry turned on the shower, fiddling with the multiple knobs. He decided to leave all three heads going for now. Stripping and putting his clothes in the hamper, then getting in was easy enough, just like normal. The shower though...nothing was normal about it. The head doing his back was getting between his shoulderblades. He checked it over, lowering it to his lower back area. The mechanism was easy enough - a turn knob to tighten or loosen it then you pushed it up or down the pole it was sitting on. The other one was spraying up at him for some reason. He could get to like that. He used a foot to adjust it so it was spraying his front. It gave him a naughty thrill. Since it'd help him later on he didn't think Xander would mind if he played a bit. The other shower head was like normal. There was a soap dispenser in there. It smelled a bit flowery but felt very nice when he rubbed it over his body. The shampoo was clearly meant to be used by Xander since it felt like a conditioner.
Xander strolled in and handed over a bottle. "That's conditioner, not shampoo. You can use Dean's for now. He had an extra bottle." He left him alone again.
"That explains why it felt that soft," Harry told himself, rinsing off his hands. He lathered up his hair, enjoying the clean, manly smell of the shampoo. Nothing fruity or too smelly. The soap was subtle but he could put up with that since it wasn't the generic/break you out sort. He even found a sponge in there. He tried it out. It lathered very well. It felt good when he did his groin, especially with the shower head down there going. It felt so nice he decided to get a bit dirty again and tease himself. That was always fun in the shower.
He got off quickly and found that he still felt a bit needy so he imagined a few things he had only found in some of the magazines Dudley had left lying around. Some of those women were tarts but a few were pretty. They were lewd because they laid there with their legs spread and things, but that happened he guessed. He liked women, they were soft and looked nice. Still, nothing was going on. He sighed and imagined some of the stories but he couldn't do that. "Crap," he muttered. "Why won't that work?" He sighed. "I'll ask later."
A demon appeared, handing him something. "Would you like that?"
"What are you doing in my bathroom?" he demanded.
"I came to offer you some help, Chosen."
"I hate being the Chosen One," he said, shifting some so the thing would quit staring at him.
Dean walked in and shot the demon. "We said no. He's Xander's and our student, leave him alone." It fled mewling in pain. "Good!" He looked up. "Leave the kid alone, he's not legal yet!" He looked at Harry. "The next time one shows up, yell faster, Harry." He saw the blush and grinned. "Let me guess, the shower of sin there not helping?"
"I don't know why it's not," he said, sounding miserable.
Dean walked out and came back with something, making Harry gape in awe. "Sometimes you gotta have a visual aid, Harry. I had to teach Sammy that too when he was younger than you are now." He left him alone to tease himself.
"These are much prettier than Dudley's wank mags," he said, looking at that one. It was very pretty. She was a beautiful woman who was tastefully nude, not in a lewd position. He could easily see himself propositioning her for some fun. That thought took him where he wanted to go and he had to reclean his legs and groin but that was to be expected. He walked out and found clothes on his bed. "Did someone play mum and lay me out clothes?" he asked.
Sam walked in. "Xander, we've *got* to lock the realm down tighter."
Xander looked up from his stirring. "Unless you want *me* to come up there and deal with you, I'd leave the kid alone," he growled. "Because I will make you sorry for touching the kid. He's not legal yet. Not until I let him go." The clothes and a few other things disappeared. Xander locked down the realm tighter and let Harry come in wearing shorts, which were clearly new, and a t-shirt. "That's not a bad outfit for today."
"Thanks. It was in my bag."
"No one said they weren't sneaky, Harry," Dean said, patting him on the back. "Trust me, they're very sneaky. We had one so sneaky they decided to steal all our shotgun shells and replace them with gold coins."
"And chocolate coins," Sam reminded him.
"And those too," he said blandly, glaring at his brother. "I still say that's your fault, Sammy."
"It is not! It's not like they can track me, Dean."
"Pheromones are part of what make up your personal scent and everyone smells different," Xander said patiently. "Wherever you were probably only had two white, level fives boys who were brothers and stunk with the scent of gunpowder."
"Shit, they're tracking us," Dean muttered.
"Do all of us have this problem with demons?" Harry asked.
"Nope," Sam said with a bright, happy grin. "Only if they really want you or if they know about you beforehand. Taking one of us but who didn't know wouldn't get them status like taking out a demon hunter would."
"It's like taking out a knight on the other side," Xander quipped, waving a hand around. "You get more status from a concubine with other talents than just another pretty one." He looked at Harry. "If and when you're taken, watch out for castration." Harry gave him a horrified look. The boys both nodded to back him up. "That's the most likely outcome if you give in and stay theirs. It hurts and since you don't have a self-healing gift, it won't grow back on you like it did on me. Trust me, it hurts like hell, Harry."
"I never wanted to know that," Harry admitted.
"But if you give in to whoever has you captive, that's a common outcome," Sam told him. "That's how they mark you as theirs and basically married to them."
"Yup," Dean agreed. "Gotta agree, hurts like a bitch and when you have a healing gift, it hurts coming back just as much." Sam patted him on the shoulder in sympathy. Xander gave him a look. "Fucking turtle looking demons again. The same ones that took our bullets."
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Should I go find artillery?"
"Nope, not necessary," Sam said with a happy grin. "They're gone now."
"Good," Dean agreed. Harry gave them horrified looks. "I got a bit backed up during a hunt."
"Why did they want you specifically?" Harry asked.
Dean shrugged. "I'm a hunter so that's major bonus points there in the status game. I'm the tougher of the two of us to get. There's a prophecy about Sammy so they're wary about him but some want him to fulfill it so they treat him nicely because of that."
"They'll still steal me but they'll coo at me instead of just saying 'let's have sex because you're mine'," Sam agreed.
Xander nodded. "There's a want list for us among the demons, Harry. Those two because they're hunters are just under my rating and the only reason I'm so high is because of my level ten-ness and the fact that I've destroyed a few realms when they've taken me." He grinned smugly. "They don't like it when I do that."
"They'd love to tame him so he was a gentle, lusty purr kitten," Sam agreed.
"Not happening," Xander said with a sweet grin.
Dean shuddered. "No battles with the kid around, Xander."
"It never is," Sam said dryly.
"If they take us, of course I'll fight to get us out," Xander assured them all. "But they'd be stupid to break into this realm to take us."
"Good point," Dean agreed. "That would piss off your almost-mother-in-law." Harry looked confused. "Vesvold, the demon who gave him this realm, wanted him since he was a kid. He really loved Xander, didn't just want him as a sex toy."
"His mother agreed I'd be a good match. We're still nice to each other," Xander told him, going back to his stirring.
"Wow. I never even thought about demons before," Harry admitted. "Much less that they had councils and families and all that stuff."
"They have a lot of demon societies. Some of the lesser ones live in hives and clans."
"Some of those are higher demons," Xander corrected. "There's hive species, clan species, family species, all sorts of demons. Just like people, some are bad and some aren't." Harry nodded that he understood that. "But if you go to one, the others are going to try to take you from that one. They do gift nicely when they want you a whole lot though." He handed over a picture. "One sent me that and a necklace from Cartier."
"Is that chocolate?" he asked, looking at the female genitalia statue.
"Yup, and there was a six-foot white chocolate toy under that tarp," Dean said dryly. "That was before we became his students."
"That night, I went to bed with a headache and my boys got to destroy it and give chunks to the others in the made family. Oh, harems according to demons are those who you gather around you to help and protect you, Harry. Your made family, any advisors, your friends. So if you hear that and it doesn't sound like 'I want you to join my harem' that's what they mean." He checked the oven then pulled the pan out, taking the stuff he was stirring to pour overtop then put it back into the oven for a few more minutes at a lower temperature. "Ten more minutes, boys."
"Can I help, Xander?" Harry asked.
"Nope, I like to cook."
"Xander, how are you handling your backed-up butt this time?" Sam asked.
"I took some of the herbs before I came."
"Un-huh," Dean said dryly. "You were clearly going to go over last night when you climbed in to have a warm bed."
"I'll handle myself," he assured them, giving them dirty looks. "And hey, it'll be instructive if I don't get it quite good enough this time." He looked at Harry. "They said you're now up there with these two for being wanted, Harry. That's why one canceled his kitten poker debt to tell me about you and why I came to help you."
"Thank you for that. I did not want to belong to anyone. Maybe a woman some day but not right now."
Sam grinned, patting him on the back. "Some day I'm sure you'll find a very nice keeper."
"Will she have to?" Harry asked. "I'd like to have normal things."
"Keepers are boyfriends or girlfriends who have extra patience to wear you out," Dean told him.
Harry blushed. "I only like girls I think."
"Most of the guys in GHS are bi," Xander said with a small shrug. "There's something in male ejaculate that helps lower our hormones." Harry gave him a horrified look. "Honestly. There are a few straight guys in GHS though. Don't worry about it."
"I'm pretty muchly always straight unless I'm desperate, or if I'm stuck on a realm with Xander for over a century and he's backed up," Dean agreed.
Sam coughed a bit, shrugging some when Dean looked at him. "I'm mostly het but I've played around a few times for stress relief in the dorms and stuff."
Harry blushed brighter. "Wow. I never even thought about guys."
"You can think about that here," Xander offered. "I wasn't sure which way I swung so I went on a road trip and did six weeks at a demon brothel," he told him. "Made about eleven mil by the time I left." Harry gaped. Sam gaped. Dean just shook his head with a small moan. He grinned. "My hormones came out then. Being on the hellmouth had kept them down when Anya wasn't being a hyper-sexual bunny of lovin'."
Harry shivered. "I'm not going to get that bad, right?"
"There's very few things that can raise your level," Xander told him, looking serious. "Nothing of them seems to be permanent. You'll be a level eight who surges now and then for the rest of your hopefully very long life, Harry."
He slumped but nodded. "So I have to find someone good to be with soon?"
"Or find ways of dealing with it on your own," he agreed. "Small pleasures through the day can always help and so will helping yourself. I doubt you can get a massage at school but there's other pleasures." The oven's timer dinged so he took out the stuff he was making, letting it cool down while he got plates. He poured them milk too. Harry clearly needed some nutritional help.
"Demon milk?" Dean asked.
Xander kissed him on the forehead. "It's very good for Harry. He's still a growing boy, Dean. It's got twice the calcium he needs daily in a single glass. Besides, you couldn't tell before." He cut out wedges of the breakfast 'pizza' and handed them over. "Harry, that might be a bit spicy, I used a spicy cheese. If so, drink more milk." He settled down in his seat to nibble through his breakfast. Sam handed him a fork. "I was testing for hotness."
"Eat like real people or you're so backed up I'm having Dean cure you," he said, staring Xander down. Xander ate like a real person. Dean whapped him on the arm, giving him a dirty look. Sam hit him back. "He's almost always backed up because he doesn't have enough stress relief through the day," Sam told Harry.
"Which is why most demons want him?" Harry asked.
"And humans and pets and mailmen," Dean agreed dryly. Xander punched him on the shoulder behind Sam's back. "Hey! They do!"
"The last time the mailman wanted me, he begged my boys for mercy. I told him to do that and he did." He grinned at Harry. "There's also a way to use it offensively as a last resort."
Harry grinned. "I need to learn that part too." He took another bite. "This is really good, Xander."
"I spend a lot of time cooking. I make meals for the local police station where my boys work and the family's always got food." Dean nodded. "Now and then I send these two food too."
"Last month he had a messenger demon bring us cookies and sandwiches that were about two feet long each," Sam told him with a grin. "Bobby nearly freaked out until we told him about messenger demons." He ate another bite and drank some milk. "Salty, Xander."
"Must be from the sausage, Sam. Sorry, didn't make that part."
"That's cool." He went back to eating it. Years on the road meant he ate almost anything put in front of him anymore. Even if the sausage was a bit salty and the milk came from a demon.
Dean finished up and got seconds of it, and a bit more milk, then came back to sit down. "Get more, kid. You look like you could use a few dozen good meals." Harry looked down. Dean patted him on the back. "Sammy and I spent most of our lives traveling here and there to hunt demons, Harry. Our dad was a Marine and he trained us from a pretty young age to handle things. We had more than a few close calls with social services from our lives and turned in a number of others that needed it desperately."
"Mine were just drunks," Xander told him. "It happens to the best of us, but I think most chosen beings have some sort of crappy life so they stand out more when they fight. Whatever chose them probably thinks it makes you guys fight harder. Buffy couldn't find a decent guy to date to save our lives."
"I had mine killed for being with me," Sam agreed. He looked at Xander. "That would mean something chose you?"
"Clearly since I'm immie too," he said dryly, smirking at him. "Before Connor fucked up he thought I might some day be a standard-bearer. The sort of immie the others come to for help and training."
"Could be," Dean agreed. "The other GHS ones probably would. What did happen with you and Connor?"
"Lots of shit. Like I got back from that monsoon demon that started on you guys? I was covered in girl clothes, had piercings that had been welded in. Had just been castrated too. Connor and Giles laughed. And that's probably the nicer thing."
"Ah," Sam said, nodding slightly. "So we'll stay away from Connor and his insane clansman."
"Probably a good idea anyway," Xander agreed. "Mac came after me for being a friend of Oz. He threw my clothes and sex toys out the window. Threw money out the window too. Gems too. He even peed on some of my clothes because I knew Oz."
Dean shook his head. "I can't see how people put up with the snotty ones of us."
Xander shrugged. "Who knows. I certainly don't. The one who sneered at me during my last shopping trip to New York nearly got her head taken off. Amanda saved her by making her hurry off so I'd be left alone. Then she got me some chocolate and took me back to my hotel." The guys gave him a confused look. "Friend of Richie and them's. She's a world-class jewel thief and immie. She's kinda pretty but very sneaky."
"Hmm. Do we worry about her hitting your stash?" Sam asked.
"Nope. First time I ran into her I warned her off. She admitted she might but there's no challenge in it. So I told her I did have a very good magical security system set up. She doesn't want to deal with magic so she'll leave me alone unless she *really* need something or she's totally bored." He finished his breakfast. "Get more if you're still hungry, Harry."
"Thanks, Xander." He went to do that. "What's an immie?"
"In our realm, there's people who are born immortal," Sam told him. "It's within us until we die a violent death. Then we can only die by our heads coming off. Xander has a unique fighting style thanks to a road trip across realms. One he can teach any GHS member to do. No one else seems capable of doing it, and it's very erotic."
"Good workout though," Dean offered. "We both learned that and the rules of being GHS and immortal from him."
Harry looked at Xander. "How old are you?"
"I'm the same age Sam is, about twenty-eight now. I died young and pretty the first time." He grinned. "You should not have to worry about that complication."
"That's good to know."
"But we can still teach you that fighting style in case it helps," Xander offered.
"I might." He grinned, eating the rest of his food. "How long should...wearing out the hormones last?"
"With level eights? About four or so hours," Xander admitted. "When you start to get fuzzy headed, note what time it is." Harry nodded at that. "Then do something mildly wearing out of them. Or we'll teach you some of the dance fighting I learned. That should wear out a lot of hormones." The Winchesters both nodded at that. "It helped keep Sam out of backlog for weeks on end." Sam swatted him with a grin. "It did."
"Until that one demon with the fish and the tentacles," Dean agreed.
"I had to scrub the hottub for days thanks to that thing. I should've made him come do it," Xander said, grimacing some. "Speed was very amused. Horatio warned Speed and Ray Junior to keep away from tentacles."
"Ray does get into a lot of trouble for how low he is," Dean agreed.
"They already know about Ray," Xander told Harry since he looked confused. "I was helping train Ray while he was in high school. He was my helper around the house."
"Oh, okay. So they already know about some of us?"
"Yup. They somehow found out about you. I'm not sure how. If one that can switch realms found out about you and spread it maybe."
"Huh." He finished up. "Is this dance style hard?"
"Already?" Sam asked, checking his watch.
"In general. I'm preparing to face the git in a few months."
"We can help with that," Dean assured him with a smirk. "We're very good at fighting. We were at that invasion. We've hunted and stalked things for years. Xander's been in real battles but we can all get you there with some help."
"Thanks, guys." Xander put all their dishes in the dishwasher and the leftovers in the fridge, then took Harry out to a clear area to show him the dance. He used Sam as a demonstration model and did some of it himself, making Harry follow along.
Harry paused, looking down at his feet. "I can feel magic coming up."
Xander felt the magic around them then grinned at him. "It might be a realm difference. Magic comes at your call because you're more used to magic. We're more used to weapons." That got a nod and Harry went back to it. Xander watched, then smirked, pouncing him. Harry dodged and cast a hex at him, not realizing he didn't have his wand in his hand. "Hmm, more than one sort of magic." He smirked. "That sort can be dangerous and addicting but damn handy."
"Wow." He looked at his hands. "I need to practice that."
"If I had a practice space I'd let you do it," Xander promised. "But we don't have one here. Sorry."
"No, it's okay." He grinned, pushing his sweaty hair back. "I don't feel fuzzy headed at all."
"The dance wears out the hormones, works up your stamina, and builds muscles," Sam told him. Dean nodded, handing them glasses of ice water. "Thanks, Dean."
"Welcome, Sammy." He looked at Harry. "Plus you can charm those girls you like with it by accidentally letting them catch you working out." He smirked. "Sammy drew three fast food workers from stretching the other day."
Xander rolled his eyes. "We want you guys to have *good* lovers, guys. Harry too." He gulped his water, looking at the boy. "Let's talk about the common allergies for a bit?" They nodded so Xander found the list to give him. They went over what each was. Harry had run into a few before in potions and had felt bad afterward. Now he knew why.
Don Flack Junior got home first, finding a note on the kitchen counter with their names on it. He read it and groaned, finding the phone to call the most likely immortal GHS members their boy would be helping. He got their voicemail, and it said Xander was with them. "Fuck," he muttered once he had hung up. He called back. "Guys, it's Don and Danny. We want to know what's going on too please." He hung up and called Danny. "Xander left us a note saying he went to help some new GHS member. I called Sam's phone and got his voicemail. They're with Xander off-realm helping a new GHS member. No idea." He went to check the closet. "His blue leathers and a few other outfits are gone. One of the bags." He went up to the practice area. "His sword and a few others are gone too." He listened to Danny complain. "No idea, Danny. Sure, thanks, man." He hung up and went to pull dinner out of the freezer. Thankfully Xander cooked ahead and froze for them so they didn't have to live on fast food until they got him back.
A demon appeared on the other side of the counter, staring at him. "Your boy has went to help one we call Chosen. He is new."
Don looked at him. "How new?"
"He is legal but just now coming into his hormone surges."
"Why is he doing it that late?"
The demon shrugged. "It does not matter. He's nice looking." He created a picture to show him.
Don frowned then at him. "I thought he was a book!"
"Some books are really other realms. All want this one nearly as much as they want your mate. There is a good chance one will give him away as well." He smiled. "Yours is trying to train him to resist but we will train him better in how to be a good pet."
Don shot him and he died. "I doubt Xander would let that happen," he said dryly. Danny stomped in with Speed behind him. He held up the picture. "The new GHS Xander and the boys went to help. Just coming into his hormone surges but he's legal by demonic standards."
"Isn't that....." Speed started.
Danny looked. "Harry Potter."
"The demon said some books are really other realms."
"Maybe he'll dance Voldemort to death then," Danny said dryly.
Speed turned and walked out, going to find Horatio and get a cuddle. He had a headache. Even with everything they'd seen and run into since Xander had come into their lives, this was a bit too much to take. He mumbled the problem at Horatio, getting a cuddle automatically since Horatio didn't want that thought either.
"I wonder if this means Xena was real somewhere," he said.
Speed looked up at him. "Ask Jace. She seems to be that old. Or Adam."
Horatio called Adam. "It's Horatio and Speed. A quick question. Was Xena a real person?" Adam paused then said something, making Horatio gape. "He was who?"
Speed took the phone. "What? No, Xander's off helping Harry Potter because he's a new GHS and the demons are panting and hoping one of the bad guys there sells him off. With the Winchesters off realm. The demon said that sometimes books are other realms, Adam. Now, who was who?" He listened. "Eww. Poor Joxer. But hey, they did make him a pretty woman. Jace is very pretty." He hung up and let Horatio snuggle in better. Now they both had headaches and needed something to take their mind off it. Horatio got to shoo off the demon that brought them treats but that was about usual these days.
Xander looked over his student, showing him how to defeat a lunge by a sword. "Better," he decided, pulling back to let the boy pant and relax again. "Hey, Dean, think I could go dance for the big idiot and make him beg?" he asked him.
Dean looked up from his reading. "You try that. I'm going to tell Don and Danny so they tie you down and get you mental help but you can try that."
"No he can't. We'd have to save him from Death Eaters," Sam said. "Then we'd have to take them all out. Or sell them off like they'd want to do to Harry."
"No, I don't think demons would help that war any," Harry told them dryly, shaking his head. "You guys are really mean sometimes."
They all grinned. "Comes with the hunting," Dean assured him.
"Let's hope I don't end up hunting demons then. Witches don't usually like mean blokes." He pushed his hair back. "I need a haircut."
"Oh, honey, you need more than a haircut," Xander assured him. Harry blanched. He knew that tone of voice.
"Xander, go wear it out," Sam ordered. Xander pouted at him. "Then we can take him to a demon bazaar and get him a haircut." Xander sighed but went to do that. He grinned at Harry. "Put on comfortable shoes. He marathon shops. He dragged us through quite a few shops in Miami and got us clothes at the same time."
Harry went to shower and change into something more comfortable that was a bit better looking. By the time he got out, Xander was wearing fairly tight blue leather pants, a dark blue t-shirt with a pocket, boots, and had his really long hair braided with a miniature sword stuck in it. "Is that really necessary?"
"They're less likely to take us if Xander's armed," Dean told him. "The same as Sammy and I will have our swords hidden and a few guns." He got up and handed Harry something. "You get to carry the bag for now." They left the demon realm and went to a nice bazaar that was relatively local to where they were. Xander used one of the gems he had with him to buy them passage to another shopping area. Dean looked around the large, inside area, then at him. "This is bigger than a football field and it feels strange."
"Tony found this place during our trip to get away after we got Hubert somewhere nicer for growing dragons." He grinned. "It has a little bit of everything. Greggy said he likes shopping up here. He even found a better coffee than Blue Hawaiian. Plus it has a really nice exchange rate usually." He found the money changers and walked over to one. "My friend Greg said you guys change gems into local money?" he asked. One nodded. He put what he had down. The man shook his head. "Not good enough?"
Xander frowned. "I know where they were mined. They were presents."
The man looked at one in the light, calling a friend over. He said something. They had a short conversation. "He said they were mined on Sol?"
Xander nodded. "Yes. I'm friends with Tony DiNozzo and his Greg friend."
"Ah," that seller said, nodding. "They usually use things mined in our areas."
Xander frowned, pulling other things out. "This is what I brought with me. I can head home to get more stuff if you wanted."
They looked, then saw his sword. "That is interesting."
"That is something my God and a good friend gave me," he said. "Sorry."
They nodded, pushing the stuff back. "We cannot."
Xander stared at him, shifting his pants to show the marks. "The sword is god-given and holy. Blessed." They backed away. He looked behind him in case Ares was standing there, then back at them. "That's why it's not for sale." He pulled Harry up. "This one is newly adult and needs to shop and have a haircut."
"Xander, we can go to another bazaar," Dean pointed out patiently. For him.
Xander sighed and pulled something else out, holding it up. They drooled. "How much?"
"Much," one said, taking it to look at. "Flawed but pretty. Carved."
"I got a whole string of them," Xander said, pulling those out. He smirked at Harry then at Dean. "Remember those carved wolves? They're local to them." He looked at them, seeing the drooling. "How much?" These had been a more recent present from someone who realized he had liked them after he had given that string of carved wolves to Dean.
They pointed at a pad once they had checked them over. It gave him a number and a common exchange ratio. "How much is that in human money? Or even Geletens?"
The man typed that in and it came up. "Not a good ratio to that last one."
"No, it's not," Xander agreed. "But they're not a good ratio to human money usually. That would be enough to shop on?" They nodded and beamed. "Fully?"
"That would buy a planet."
"I own a few realms, I don't need a planet. I don't want the ones I already have." He took the card they gave him and put the rest back into the never ending bag, taking Harry to rent a flying golf-cart looking thing. "Okay, Dean, you drive more than I do."
"That's because you're backed up and you swerve with the music," Dean reminded him. He got the quick manual from the rental desk and looked it over. "This place is *huge*, dude."
Sam looked over his arm. "It's a hollowed out moon."
"Really? Wow. I wonder if Greg knows that? I know they got a new bed the other day." He settled in the back with Harry. "Haircut, clothes, food."
"Haircut. Do we want to go to the place that has it translated as the Blessed of the Goddess of Good Hair?"
"Sure," Xander agreed. They headed out that way. It was a fairly long flight, about twenty minutes. "This is really like the Jetsons in some ways."
"It kinda is," Sam agreed. "There's a lot of strange creatures here I've never seen, even in a demon bazaar."
"I have the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto," Dean said dryly. "Since this is off-world and they were talking about other planets."
"That's an unexpected surprise," Harry admitted. He was busy staring at all the strange sights to really take in much of the conversation.
Xander shrugged. "I'm always looking for interesting shopping areas," he said with a grin. Sam pinched him. "Ow! Wench!"
"That's your job," Dean reminded him. "Let's not get kidnaped up here, Xander, okay? Please? We don't know how to fly a spaceship to get you back or even if the Gods can get up here to help you or us."
"You really are a priest?" Harry asked.
"I did some training off world during a kidnaping. The Greek gods had temples there. I trained at a temple of Ares and trained my GHS-ness at a temple to Cupid." Harry's mouth opened. The boy just stared at him until Sam gave him a nudge. "Really, the smelly barbarians wanted us for sex slaves. Redheads were really rare there and thought to be next to the Gods in specialness. Our friend Horatio is a redhead and we were kinda with him. So Ryan, Horatio, and I all got to go on that trip. Two years there, a few hours at home."
Harry swallowed. "How often does this happen?"
"The less time you spend backed up, the more time you spend at home," Sam told him simply. "Xander can't wear his out. His boyfriends both work." Harry slumped, nodding at that. "You're not a level ten though. So it'll be easier for you, Harry."
Harry looked up. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," a voice said.
"Hi, Lord Strife," Xander said with a grin. "I'm being good."
Strife cackled. "Just don't get stolen. We'd have to ask the local Gods for help." His voice faded off.
"All level tens are part Strife's and part Cupid's. He's over all GHS."
Harry whined. "I'm going to be kidnaped a lot, aren't I?"
"Just keep them worn out, kid," Dean ordered. Their flying cart started landing procedures, landing them outside a shop. "I think that's a salon of some sort."
Xander looked then nodded. "I think it is." He walked Harry inside, bowing at the person who bowed to them. "This one is newly adult. He needs a haircut."
The person in there walked around the boy. "We can lengthen it some. Give it shine and bounce."
"He'll be at school soon for his last year. He'll need to be able to take care of it with only standing water baths instead of free-falling showers." The man nodded. "Plus he's learning how to be a warrior."
"Ah. I had noticed your hair was dry and simply done."
Xander pulled his hair around. "It's dry? I just conditioned it this morning."
He pointed at one of his assistants. "Our people like the hair to look pleasingly slick and damp."
"Oh! The wet look." He nodded. "Our people prefer it to be shiny and bouncy but dry looking. His people like shorter hair mostly unless you're old fashioned."
"I'd like to keep the scar covered up if I can," Harry said.
The man nodded. "Come, we will see what we can do. Do you want extra length? Down to your shoulders perhaps?"
"Not really my thing. I might look girlish and make people want to keep me. I need it easy to deal with. At school I room with four other young men and we only have one bath."
The man nodded. "Training academies are often a test of resolution and inner strength not to smite others." He ran his fingers through Harry's hair, nodding at it. "Good weight." He found a pair of scissors and went to work making it a bit shorter, but also a bit more layered so it would lay better when it was messy since that seemed to be what he was going for. Harry ran his hands through it to try to straighten it out, but it wasn't going to work this time. He trimmed a bit in those areas that needed it, stepping back. "How is that?"
"Can you do the back a bit higher?" Xander asked. "And above his ears? I was going to get him an earring."
The man nodded and trimmed it a bit higher up. The boy beamed at that. Xander handed him the card, watching as he ran it. "New to our money systems?" he asked with a smile. Xander nodded. "It is not a problem." He handed the card back. "For an earring, you can take him to the pirate section. They are mostly honorable people who will not bother you."
"We need to get him some clothes first," Dean told him.
"Hmm." He looked the boy over. "I would suggest their area and the one next to them." Dean got the map from the cart, letting him point it out. "There. They have good, functional clothes that are not too tight or too loose. Not too drawing either. Some softer, some not." Xander beamed at him. "Then, have him stop here for things for his magic. We have seen others who have it." He bowed to Harry. "Good studies."
"Thank you," he said, bowing back. "And for the information on where to shop." They smiled and left, heading down to where the cart was and letting it fly them where they needed to go.
Xander opened the portal onto his back lawn with the help of the goddess Strife had begged for help. "Thank you," he called. They walked through and Xander ran inside to get a kiss and cuddle then they came back out to take Harry back to their training realm.
Don woke up long enough to blink at Xander's back. "Xander?" he called.
"He's back but gone again," Danny said from his spot on their antique bed. "He smelled funny too. New herbs." They shrugged and went back to sleep. It was their day off this week. Xander would be back soon.
Dean and Sam landed first in the meeting area. They checked, the car was still there. Harry and Xander came a few minutes later, Harry now carrying a bunch of packages. "More shopping?" Dean demanded.
"Ran into Vesvold's sister. She gave Harry a new leather jacket and a few other things her humans had left up here if he wanted them." He patted Harry on the back. "Take your stuff and pack it in your trunk."
"I don't think it'll fit," he said mildly.
"Harry, they can't catch you doing magic up here," he said blandly.
"And wear those hormones out while you're in there," Sam reminded him. Harry huffed but went to do that. He smacked Xander on the back of the head. A move he had learned off Tony at the last convention. Xander pouted. "Behave! Please? They were really nice but it was too strange being taken by aliens. Demons I can handle. Aliens, not so much."
"Not my fault," he pouted.
"Uh-huh," Dean said dryly. "I did like the pirates we played card games with on the way back." Xander shrugged, going to cook while they settled in. The brothers shared a look then Dean went to clean weapons while Sam wore himself out again. Dean opened his trunk and looked up. "Give them back," he snarled. Everything in there reappeared. The laundry was even done. "Thank you!" He checked; the bullets were still there, all the guns worked, and the knives had been sharpened for him. Then the demon that wanted his attention took him and the car, and the spell on the car brought Sam with him. A few hours later, local time, Xander and Harry showed up to free them. The demons screamed and fled from them. Someone wasn't happy to have stolen Dean after all. They went back to the meeting area, finding dinner already done for them and Don waiting on them. Xander stole a kiss. "Thanks," Dean said. "Don, it wasn't him this time."
"I heard when they came to get me to save them from Xander." He looked at Harry. "Hey, Don Flack. I'm one of Xander's keepers."
"So we heard." He shook his hand. "How are we doing on his training? He'll have to go back soon."
Xander went to check what the date was in his realm. "He's a day past due. Harry, think you can handle it without us looking over your shoulder?"
"Hopefully. Can you check on me a few times in case they do decide to sell me? I have no doubt Malfoy or someone would like that."
"Of course," Dean agreed. "One of us will be." The boy beamed. "For tonight, go rest and figure out the boy/girl thing."
"I set something up on your bed so you can tell without breaking yourself in for real," Xander said cheerfully. "Because once you have, your body will want that release more than anything else." Harry blushed but went to check that out. Xander had left him toys. Xander leaned down to kiss Don, getting pulled into his lap. "How long have you been waiting?" he teased.
"Few minutes." Sam and Dean both went to do their own thing because Xander was *so* backed up this time. "Aliens?" he asked quietly.
"They were very nice. Furry too. I almost brought home one as a pet."
"No more pets, Xander. We have dogs and ferrets. That's enough for anyone." Dean laughed, they could hear him. "And those two sometimes." Xander beamed, giving him a kiss. Don let Xander settle into his lap for what he needed to wear himself out. Sex worked best with Xander and naughty sex worked better than anything else.
Harry locked himself in his room, looking at what Xander had set up. He had something that looked like a mouth with a tube out the other side. "I'm not that big," he muttered. "I don't think anyone is." He had one that looked like a vagina. That was nice looking. He ran a finger along it, noticing it felt like cooler flesh.
Sam knocked so Harry let him in. "Ah. We were wondering." He pointed at the supposedly life-like orifices. "You put those on the doll underneath the bed," he offered, pulling it up. "That way you can make believe better. Or you leave them like that and use them that way." He kissed the kid on the head. "Have some fun. It'll only help you. Because remember, we have to take you school shopping tomorrow before we get you back to the school." He left, going back to his room to tell Dean what Xander had put out for him.
Harry locked the door again, looking over things and how they attached to the doll. It was very strange to have a removable mouth and ...girl parts. How did people do this?
Xander put the portal to Harry's realm back into his bedroom, walking out to find someone waiting on them. "It's my fault," he said with a grin. "We had a short stopover to get Harry some new clothes and kinda had to wait while some furry ones wanted to pet my hair." He walked Harry off. "C'mon, kiddo. We'll get you clothes and stuff for school then let you head there. I gave you the calling stone, right?"
"It's in my pocket," he promised. "That endless bag is really handy."
"I know," Xander agreed with a grin. "Remember to practice your dance moves."
"I will." They got outside, Sam and Dean following, and the Impala appeared. "How did you do that?"
"Whatever realm whichever one of the boys is taken to, the other brother and the car will follow since it's got all the weapons," Xander said with a smirk. "It's a safety precaution."
"It's been handy a few times," Dean agreed. "Into the back, Harry." They got into their spots, Xander behind Dean, Harry behind Sam, Dean driving them toward downtown London. "So this is England? I expected a lot more countryside from all those movies."
"Everywhere but London has it," Harry said, leaning forward. "Go left." Dean did that and they parked where he pointed. "That's the Leaky Cauldron. It's where we go through to get to Diagon."
Xander grinned at him. "Harry, we do have and use magic, even if we don't use wands."
"Good point. I guess it'd be okay. If anyone says anything...."
"I'll beat their ass," Dean assured him with a grin.
"Fine." He got out and they crossed the street. He walked in and ran into one of his teachers. "Professor McGonagall. I'm headed up tonight, ma'am. Xander, Dean, Sam, this is the head of my house, Professor McGonagall."
"Charmed," Xander said, smiling and shaking her hand. "We're getting Harry his school things since I lost track of time thanks to a small kidnaping attempt. We've taught him everything we know that he should need to control his problem, and some to help him with others."
"She does know and works with us," Harry said quietly. "Coming with us to help me get uniforms and paper?" he asked her. He looked at Xander. "Hedwig?"
"Inside your bag," Sam offered. "She's not traumatized or hurt. We've had to stash me and Xander in there before on rescues." Harry grimaced but nodded. "I promise, it's like taking a sudden nap until you get out of there." He walked him off, letting Harry lead him out to the wall. He'd read the books. The professor joined them and they walked in. "Let's see, if I remember the books right, the bank first?"
"I have money still if we can get it changed over," Xander offered with a small shrug. He pulled out one of the gems the aliens hadn't wanted and handed it to Harry. "Get it changed for necessities. That way you can bring up enough chocolate for at least a month."
Harry grinned. "Are you sure?"
"Harry, I have *so* many of them it's not funny. Take it." He waved his hand and they walked off. He noticed the professor staring. "He told us they diagnosed his little pheromone problem," he told her quietly, making her flinch. "In our realm, there's a whole support group of people who have the same problem, Professor. I'm one of them." He smiled. "That's why I came to tutor Harry when a demon told me about him breaking out here and being in danger of being kidnaped."
"He was?" she hissed.
He nodded. "Unfortunately there's a good lot of them who want Harry. He's high in the status stakes. Just below mine. I'm seen as a difficult one to tame because I've ruined a few realms when they've taken me. I'm also a demon hunter. Or I was before my hormones started to run my life. Sam and Dean are also demon hunters and came to guard us and help me train Harry. I did some of their training with some esoteric weapons in Miami."
"I see. He can handle it?"
"It's a matter of wearing it out. We've give him some good advice on how to do that. We've given him some good ways of subverting it if he has to. I've even taught him how to use it offensively if he must to get out of something." She smiled and nodded. "And I've given him insight I gained from years of fighting, the same as Sam and Dean have."
She stared at him for a moment. "One of the aurors found you in a book."
"In our realm, Harry's one and so are you." He grinned. "Some demons can cross over and we're fairly certain that's how one figured out about him." He looked at Harry, nodding at her. He nodded so he dug out the handbook, handing it to her. "This is what we give to new members and their spouses when they're found. The name is because we started out as a support group among favored concubines."
She blushed and coughed to clear her throat, going over the manual. "That is how I figured it would work best."
"Harry's been encouraged to find someone he can date to help him wear that out. I've also taught him a special self-defense, sword fighting dance style I learned on a cross-realmal road trip. It'll help him wear some of those out but I don't think you'd want him to put on a performance. It's a bit...enticing." She blushed, shivering a bit. "Exactly. He's not too bad with it and it'll help some. Right now, we know that he can handle about five or six hours before he needs to be aware of his hormones building again. Also in there is a group allergy sheet. Things that can hurt us terribly in high enough doses. And some that can make us spike." She moaned. "It can and has happened. I didn't know about the allergies and nearly died from it. Plus spread it to a few friends. I think the school nurse should be able to handle it. On there is also written how to handle it if something does make him spike. Also how to use a bit of the herbs once every few months if necessary but you can't use it more often or it's dangerous to him."
"I understand. Thank you for your help."
He grinned. "I'm a level ten, Professor. They want that boy nearly as much as they do me and he has enemies that wouldn't hesitate to use that."
She nodded. "I can understand your worry."
"If I hear someone has him, I'll go find him for you," he assured her dryly. "I'd never leave anyone in captivity." Harry and Sam came out of the bank and headed back toward them. "What's first, guys? Clothes, paper? Owl food?"
"I could use owl food but I need clothes. Is there a ball this year, Professor?"
"There is," she admitted. They followed him into Madam Malkin's shop. "Maddy, he's a bit late due to some extra training. These are his trainers."
"Would it be okay if I picked up something for my boyfriends? One's a huge wizard fan." The shopkeeper looked so confused so he created a small light. She moaned, holding her head. "Can I?"
"If you want," Professor McGonagall offered. They got Harry the clothes he needed and then settled in to deal with the other things he'd need for off-duty and other times. "Harry, who did your hair?"
"We found a huge bazaar on another realm," he told her. "It had someone who did it plus got me some other clothes like they wear." He smiled. "And they had a few very honorable, nice chaps who were pirates as well. Some of the furry people there also wanted Xander so we had a small wait and that's what made us so late. Sorry."
"I suppose it happens to your sort," she admitted.
"Whenever we're backed up," Sam agreed. "The more often he's backed up, the more risk and trouble he's in."
"Ah. I'll definitely keep that in mind." Harry blushed. "And let you ask me questions on how to deal with a girlfriend or boyfriend since it seems that would be appropriate." Xander nodded. "Good."
"That's probably the best way," Xander agreed. "Smaller ones are helpful but bigger ones are better."
"I can understand that." She watched as Harry was fit with his last uniform and then an off-duty shirt, frowning. "Is it supposed to make him glow?"
"Among us that's known as finding your fabric. Each of us has one or two fabrics that we look best in. It's usually at least a natural blend fabric. I look best in silk and sometimes leather. Dean looks best in some cottons. Sam too. Harry... I'd say that was cotton?" He nodded. "So a stiffer cotton. Like Ray Junior, you may look very nice in Egyptian cotton and twill."
"Twill, I hadn't thought about that," Madam Malkin admitted, going to get him some. That with the shirt and the boy nearly glowed. She licked her lips, looking at the professor. "You see people now and then who have a specific problem with their hormones and those who take things to make sure they have it when they need it."
"Those last sort play a very dangerous game," Sam offered. "That's a good way to get stolen and turned into a castrated concubine. But you're right, Xander is."
Harry nodded. "I'd like it if no one knew. It's safer if they don't."
"I have no intention of sharing this news, Mr. Potter," she assured him.
He grinned. "Thank you, Madam Malkin. Shoes?" She got him a few pairs. He paid for it and bundled it up, taking it to put into his bag. "It won't hurt Hedwig, right?"
"Harry, inside is infinitely big," Xander told him. "As long as it's not ripped, everything's fine. If it is, they all end up on a demon mafia plane."
Harry checked the bag, grimacing. "Is that considered a rip?"
Xander frowned and rubbed something, heading off to deal with that. He came back a few minutes later, handing Harry a new bag and Hedwig to ride on his shoulder. "There you go. I even found that special brush we got you. They were surprisingly nice to me." Harry grinned. "I know, I'm just charming." The professor snickered, shaking her head. "When I want to be I am." He grinned. "I was to them so I wouldn't have any problems." They went on to finish his shopping, letting the teacher take him back to school with her. "Remember, you call us if you need us, Harry."
"Yes, Xander. Thank you." He hugged them all. "Have a good trip, guys." They went out to the Impala. Harry went back into the Leaky Cauldron and caught a floo back to Hogsmeade with the professor. He stretched as he walked out, smiling at her. "They are very interesting people."
"It sounds like it." She walked him up to the school and the headmaster's office. "Here he is. His teacher was a bit detained because some furry demons wanted to pet him."
Harry let Hedwig fly out the window then looked at him. "They were nice about it. Xander said all too many of them are going to castrate us if they keep us. It's a sign that we're owned or married by them."
"Did you learn anything useful on your trip?" the headmaster asked.
"Xander, Sam, and Dean all hunted demons. Xander has a unique fighting style with a sword that he showed me. It'll help with my other problems as well. It also helps my balance a lot. I found out he's a fantastic cook. Met some nicer demon species and a few that I was warned to stay away from when they showed up. Xander threatened their realms and existences if they came near me again. I learned a bit of wandless magic can come up when I'm dancing that fighting style. I'm fairly certain I can call it up at other times but we didn't have an area to practice it in. All three shared a lot of their experiences in fighting demons and Xander was in a few battles as well so he shared planning strategies and things with me." Dumbledore stared at him. He smiled. "We were detained because some furry demons wanted to play with Xander's hair."
"It's down to his waist in a braid," McGonagall told him. "Very nice looking, healthy and all that."
"He said one of the ones who wanted him started it growing and he decided he liked it because his boys did. They like to play with it for him."
She blushed. "I did not need to know those sort of details."
Harry shrugged. "They shared with me whenever I asked." He looked at the headmaster. "What sort of demon would've seen me in this school, sir? We think it was one who could cross realms that caught me having a high hormone day and spread it around."
"I don't know. We haven't had any obvious blips on the shields."
"Yes, but they didn't catch Quirrel either," Harry pointed out. Dumbledore gaped at him. He shrugged. "I figure Quirrel didn't sleep or bathe in his turban. He had to take it off at least once in the months he was here. I'm not sure how he shielded it to get past it when he was wearing it."
Dumbledore nodded. "That is a good point, Harry. I'll think about how he did that." He looked at the boy. "You've grown."
"Xander had us drinking some hyper-milk as Sam called it. Super calcium and a lot of minerals. It came from a harmless demon species that's used like we use cows. Plus a lot of very good food. He's an excellent cook and I learned a lot of techniques from him for the next person who thinks I'm a house elf." He looked at his professor. "Can I go settle into my room?"
"Of course you may. Your trunk?"
"Is probably inside the bag as well," he admitted dryly. "The thing's never ending and bottomless, Professor." He took his bag from her. "Please don't share that," he said quietly.
She nodded. "I won't with more than Madam Pomfrey." He smiled and nodded, heading up to his room. She cleared her throat. "That young Xander boy was very nice. A bit older than Harry himself. Sam and Dean were slightly older than him. Xander has a worse version of the same problem Mr. Potter has. He also showed up with a lot of information about things that could harm the boy if he gets exposed to it or that could actually make his problem worse. Two are fairly common potions ingredients this year. I have no idea how he'll deal with those. I'll need to talk to Professor Snape about that later. I was with them when they went shopping. He got everything he needed for the next little while." She walked off, going up to the infirmary, with a stop in Potions on the way. "May we speak, Severus?" she asked quietly when he came to the door.
"It's something important but that must be kept quiet."
He nodded. "Where and when?"
"I'm headed up to the infirmary now if you could join us."
He looked at his students. "I will be back in ten minutes. Do not do anything outside of reading." He followed her up there, going into the office with the nurse. "I take it Potter has finally deigned to join us?" he sneered.
"His teacher was a bit late due to a kidnaping by some furry demons." Snape sat down hard, staring at her. She held up the allergy page. "These things can greatly harm the boy. At the bottom is what we can do if he's surging and what can be taken once every few months by the instructions to help weed him out. On the back side are things that can make his condition worse. The ones who were teaching him had the same problem but were from another realm." Snape stared at her. "A demon told Mr. Harris about Mr. Potter. They're looking to acquire him at all costs as a concubine."
He shuddered. "That is a fate I'd not want even the Dark Lord to have." He looked over the list. "Seven of these are on my curriculum." He looked at the back side. "Most of these as well."
"Can he wear gloves?" Poppy asked, taking the information packet. "Oh, good!" She looked at the name.
McGonagall smiled at her horrified look. "The group started as a support group among favored concubines in far distant history, even for us. That's explained in there." She nodded, flipping through it. She looked at Snape again. "How would you like to handle this?"
"I would not," he said, handing it over. "I can excuse him from his class for this allergy."
She frowned. "He needs it to get into the auror academy."
"Can he truly fight like this?"
"As long as he's worn out according to the book, he's perfectly normal. It's when he's not worn them out that he's flighty, confused, bouncy, hyper, and can't concentrate."
Snape shuddered. "I've seen others taking things to put them into that state."
Pomfrey looked at him. "I saw Mr. Malfoy when his father ordered him to try it. He's already a very low registering one, Severus, and you need to warn the boy. I tried but I'm just a mediwitch."
He groaned, shuddering worse this time. "That's an even worse thought."
"For right now, his trainer gave him a unique fighting style that incorporates dance and sword work to wear some of these hormones out until he can find a good friend to have relations with," McGonagall told him. "If he must, he might be able to teach Malfoy some of it."
He magically copied the list. "I'll send him up to look over that book as well." He left, going down to his classroom. The change bell had just rang so he got to join the seventh years. Potter and Malfoy were ignoring each other already. "You two, my office. The rest of you sit down." He walked in there once he had gotten them started, handing Malfoy the allergy list. "You may not touch any of those, Mr. Malfoy."
Harry looked confused. "He is?" Snape nodded. "Are we sure?"
"Quite. I saw what happened when his father encouraged him this summer. Our mediwitch agreed. She has Mr. Potter's information packet upstairs if you wish to look at it."
Harry grimaced. "Over there they have conventions but you don't talk about other members, Professor. It leads to more chances of kidnaping."
"I can understand why. That is a fate I would wish on no one. However, neither of you may be in here because most of those lists are forbidden to you and on the curriculum this year."
Draco gave him a dirty look. "Why would it matter? They worked when I needed it to."
Harry sighed, pulling something out of his bag. "This is a test kit. Xander got it for me. Add three drops of blood to the gauze, Malfoy." He sneered but did so. Harry followed the directions he had been taught, letting him see the test panel. Malfoy stomped out. He burned the gauze once the test kit was back in his bag. "Are you sure I can't stay in and wear gloves?"
"For the next three months we'll be dealing with the herbs on the raising side of the list."
"I don't want to do that. It's bad enough where I am. Thank you for letting me know, Professor. I'll talk to McGonagall later about putting something in this class's place. May I be excused to the library?" He nodded curtly so Harry left. It was surprisingly nice of his professor but he knew that his hormone condition had annoyed him last year when it had been found right before final exams. And hey, one less NEWT to study for really.
Draco stormed into the infirmary. The nurse was unimpressed but gave him the pamphlet before he could demand it, pointing at her office desk chair for him to sit in. "Leave it on my desk when you're done. If you copy it, do not let it out of your hands, Mr. Malfoy. It is dangerous and could get you stolen or sold into a life as a castrated concubine. As the historical members were." He went pale and wobbled. "Exactly. That's why we are so circumspect about these matters. You may copy it for your own personal use but it had better not get out of your hands and you had better not talk about anyone else who has the same problem or they're in danger like you are."
"I understand," he said through gritted teeth. She pointed at her desk chair again, letting him read in private. He settled in to read, grimacing at the group's name but he understood why after reading the history section. Some things suddenly made sense about what he had noticed in the last few years. He did make himself a copy and sent his mother the most pertinent part of it; nothing that would get him in trouble if they found out however. He put the pamphlet on the desk and walked out. "What can be done?"
"Wearing it out can come in many forms," she reminded him. "You're not that ...strong on their scale. That makes it easier. Also, I was told that someone had recently learned a self-defense style that included dance and sword work that would help with that. His trainer told him."
"I'm not learning anything off Potter," he said firmly.
"That's fine then. We'll see what happens. Usually you're fine but do be aware of those herb lists, Mr. Malfoy. Especially the ones that can make you surge."
She shrugged. "Professor McGonagall is handling this issue for now. She's went over that same packet. I'm assuming she has a way of calling that trainer here if we need to. She can ask her."
"Thank you. I sent the historical section to my mother."
"That's reasonable. It would warn her about certain things. Now go back to class."
"I'm kicked out of potions."
"I'm sure you can find some elective to take its place or sleep in on these days," she said dryly.
He shrugged and walked off sulking. This was going to ruin his life. He just knew it was. He'd never get accepted into service and he'd never get married to a decent wife because of this. A school owl came down to him in the hall, hooting until he took the small package. "What's this?" It flew off so he looked at the note attached.
//This helps wear it out. Even small pleasures keep it down and I know you liked potions. It's my good deed for the week. Enjoy.//
He sneered but opened it, almost smiling at the chocolates inside. He nibbled one and did feel better. So maybe they had a point when they said chocolate cured life's ills and shocks. He waited until McGonagall was watching the students instead of lecturing, nodding at her office when he caught her attention from the door. She nodded and he headed that way, eating another one. "Herbology?" he asked quietly. "Since I just got kicked out of potions and I was told you're handling this issue?"
"I'll ask her later. Not with any details but I do know that a few years back one of you was in her house."
He nodded, finishing that chocolate. "What can I use to put in the place of Potions? Snape probably won't let me near his office in case I surge."
"That's a good point but fairly paranoid, Mr. Malfoy." She found her schedule and looked it over. "We have Runes, Arithmancy, and Muggle Studies but I doubt you'd like that one." He shook his head, starting to sneer again. "Are you in the other two?" He nodded. "Then I'd suggest a study hall period. You'll want it for NEWTs anyway."
"That will cut me down to four classes if I can't take Herbology."
"Oh. Hmm. Let me check with her first." He nodded. "See me after lunch, Mr. Malfoy. Eat more than chocolate as well. You still need a balanced diet to be healthy." He grimaced but walked out. She smiled at his back. "This might make him slightly more tolerable." She summoned a house elf and copied the allergy sheet to hand over with a note. "Straight to Madam Sprout and only her." The house elf nodded, disappearing. They met between classes. "Well?"
"I've got all of them on my lessons because Severus does," she said. "And Hagrid has one I know because he's doing safe sedative potions this term. Where did we get this list?"
"Another student has that same hormone condition," she said quietly. "A demon heard and told someone in another realm who has it. That one came to train the student." Madam Sprout looked amused. "Apparently they're going to start hunting him soon."
"Oh, dear. Potter doesn't need more problems."
"The more people who know about him, the more danger he's in," she instructed. "Poppy has their information package." That got a nod. "In case we get another one."
Harry walked past them. "And I have a test kit. It's easy enough to make replacements," he hissed, earning a smile. "Herbology?"
"Not a chance," McGonagall said. "And you'll have to sit out of a few lessons with Hagrid as well."
"I can watch and take notes but not touch it."
"Good." Madam Sprout looked at him. "We're doing all the ones on the Potions lessons."
"Hermione will be thrilled with the amount of time I'll have for revision." McGonagall smirked at him. He smirked back. "I've got about five or six hours so I'll be practicing my self defense after dinner?" She nodded. "I'll use the Room of Requirement so no one can catch me. Just for safety reasons. It was odd. Xander's almost always backed up because he's worse than I am. Much worse than I am. He was reading and one popped in to give him something to nibble on. He didn't seem to realize it until Dean shot it to make it go away. They almost consider that normal because of how backed up he is."
"You shall not be," she told him.
"I need to find a lover then," he said quietly, making both teachers blush. "Works the best," he said with a shrug. "I can do some but even then I'll have some leftover now and then." He looked at his professor. "What is my schedule?" She went to write it out for him. He looked at the other professor. "I don't mind if you copy it off for others but the more who know, the more danger we're in if they know who we are."
"I will not be telling anyone, young man."
"Thank you. Xander said castration really hurts and they do that when they keep you." He walked off scowling once he had his schedule. He went to Magical Creatures. "Hagrid." He gave him a hug. "Sorry I'm a bit late. I was talking to McGonagall."
"It's good we got you back from wherever, 'Arry," he said with a smile. "Where were you?"
"I had a trainer teaching me something. He got a bit taken for a bit so I was delayed." That got a nod. He pulled him aside. "I'm told that I'm going to start having some herbal allergies. Madam Sprout said something about a safe sedative I'm not allowed near because of that. So can you warn me? I'll take notes that day."
"O'course I can," he agreed. "Not a problem." He patted him on the head. "You really grew this summer."
"Xander's a fantastic cook. He also found some milk from some sort of harmless demon that's got a lot more vitamins and things. Said it's perfectly safe," he said at the scowl. "He'd know. He hunted them for years. It helped a lot."
"I guess that's fine then."
"Tastes about the same. I couldn't tell the difference." That got another grimace. "Anyway, are we doing that today?"
"No. Today we're doing some water creatures." Harry grinned and they walked back to join the class. "We're doing some water creatures today so down to the lake." They walked that way, making sure to stay out of the mud. He followed, wondering what was going on. Harry hadn't had allergies before. At lunch he asked McGonagall, who explained that the herbs on the list could possibly kill him in the right doses and some would make him go back to that bouncy, hyper Harry he had been at the end of last year when he had gotten sick. So he'd go along with the allergies and make sure he didn't touch 'em.
Harry was found pacing in front of the Room of Requirement later on by his friends. "Problems?" he asked with a smile. He had eaten quickly to come do this, getting done before Ron and Hermione made it down to dinner.
Ron punched him on the arm. "Git, you're late."
Harry shrugged. "The trainer I was with for the last bit of the summer got kidnaped by some furry demons who wanted to pet his hair." The room's doors appeared and he walked in. One wall had mirrors covering it; the floor was wood sanded smooth and even. There was a single bar on one side of the room for him to use while stretching. The whole area was empty of things for him to run into. Learning how to dance by not running into the sitting area had been a bit more tricky than doing it in the open on the meeting realm. "Oh, this is perfect. Thank you, Room." He looked at them. "Um, guys, I need to practice some stuff. It's probably going to look a bit funny but I'm told you probably don't want to watch."
"Why?" Hermione asked. "What were you being trained in?"
"I was being trained by a few demon hunters in a few different things." He moved to a bar to stretch. He had learned why the first time he had hurt himself. Hermione gave him the oddest look but she sat down. "Someone summon my endless bag? It was on my bed."
Ron pulled his wand. "Accio Harry's endless bag," he cast. It came flying in and the door shut again. "So, what were you learning, Harry?"
"A bit of this and that from three demon hunters. They found out some demons want to own me." He stretched the other way then got into his bag to pull out his sword. Xander had taught him the whole series. They had spent nearly six months out of time. Hermione gave him another strange look. "I'll need it later. It's a self-defense style that has some dance in it to help my balance and things."
"Will it help on a broom?" Ron asked.
"I don't know," he admitted. He steadied himself. "Turn around?" he asked when he couldn't because they were staring. They did and found a mirror so they could still see but he couldn't see them watching him. It was easier that way. He moved into the first turn, starting the first kata series. The second had sword work and it was comfortable. His muscles were burning but he expected that. He moved into the third, then the fourth, then dropped the sword to do the next two. He could hear a small whimpering noise and stopped to look back at them. "Hermione!"
"Not me," she said, wiping her mouth off before turning to look at him. "Why are you doing it that way?"
"Because it's a self-defense style almost no one can counter. The one who taught me is a high priest to Cupid and Strife and was taught at a temple to Ares, God of War."
"Oh," she said weakly. "They fought like that in Ancient Greece?"
"No, he said he learned it in another realm. It just helps." Ron made another whimpering noise. "Ron!" Ron gave him a pitiful look. Harry put his hands on his hips. "I told you not to watch. Shoo, let me finish and shower then we'll talk?" Hermione nodded, dragging Ron with her. Harry went back to it. It was nice to be moving again. The sword got picked up for the last few katas. Then he stretched and went to shower. Before he got pounced. He had learned that lesson the last time he had been sweaty. A house elf stopped to stare at him. "Let me shower."
"Boys should shower. Is sweaty," she ordered with a point. He grinned, hurrying on before she pounced. That would be wrong and he'd have a migraine from it. Plus he'd never be able to keep food down again. He hurried into the house and into the shower, coming out dressed in after-hours clothes. He flopped down beside Ron, giving him a nudge to make him shut his mouth. "Feel better?"
"Do you?" he demanded.
Harry grinned. "It's very useful. I can use the sword very well now."
Ron swallowed. "I don't want to know."
"Can't tell you most of it anyway," he promised with a grin.
"Good!" He bopped Harry on the thigh. "Now what?"
"Now, I study other things. Xander and Sam gave me some areas to look into that might help me a lot with the constant problem we've had. If so, it might lead to a faster end to the war," he said quietly. That got a nod and a happier look from Ron. "Now that I don't have Potions or Herbology anymore, I can spend that time looking that stuff up."
"I can help," Hermione said. "Why don't you have them?"
"I found out I have a few herb allergies this summer."
She frowned. "How?"
"It's fairly common and I can't tell you." She scowled. He stared back. "I can't." He looked at Ron again. "No more coming down to watch?"
"No. I don't think so." Harry grinned. "You always do that?"
"I know the dances that go along with the katas as well. They're even worse for making others drool."
Ron wiped his mouth to make sure he wasn't. "Don't do them around Ginny?" he begged.
"I don't want anyone watching me, Ron. I'd get self-conscious." He yawned. "I'm heading up to rest. I'll see you two tomorrow." He headed up there to climb into bed. He had taken care of himself in the bath. Now he needed a post-handling himself nap.
Ron and Hermione shared a look. "That's very odd," she told him. "Usually he'd tell us."
"We might not need to know," Ron pointed out. "Or he might not be able to teach us that."
"I don't think I could be that flexible anyway," she said with a light blush. "Maybe it's the key to another form of magic."
"Maybe," he decided. It was odd, and really hot looking, which was going to freak him out if he kept thinking about it. He didn't think about Harry that way. Most of the time, but his hormones did overrule him now and then to think about anything and everything that might be capable of sex with him.
Harry looked up from his research topic of the moment, frowning when he saw who was staring at him. "Yes, Headmaster?"
"Class work, Harry?"
"No, an extra research topic that Xander thought might be helpful. We don't have many books on it but Madam Pince decided it could be useful and it's not in the restricted section at all."
"Really? On what?"
"Power flows and the natural spots it congregates in. He thought that it might help if we had to interrupt any ritual magic going on. Or even help if we had to do something ritually to stop Voldemort."
"I see. That's an interesting area of study. Ritual magic has a lot of areas that might be helpful." That trainer Harry had spent time with was clearly nosing his way into the war when he didn't belong and was clearly taking over control of Harry's thoughts. He had to do something to break that dependence.
Harry nodded, grinning slightly. "That's what he thought." The bell to change classes rang so he put things up and hurried off to Defense. This year's teacher was only mildly bad. Mostly it was that he couldn't *teach* but he knew what he was doing. He simply couldn't explain how he was doing things. He ran into Hermione there. "Ran into the headmaster," he said quietly.
"I was studying an area Xander said I might want to look into."
"Of?" she pressed.
"Power flows and congregating spots? To help counter any ritual magic?"
"That might help," she admitted. "I'll help you after class."
"I've already started. Madam Pince helped me find all the books." She smiled at his self-reliance. "Besides, some of the rituals mentioned are pretty strange."
"Quite," she agreed. They sat down in their usual seats, waiting on Ron to come stomping in from Herbology. She saw him covered in flecks and seeds. "Go shake off, Ronald."
Harry started to itch. "Crap. Ron, get away from me!" Ron backed off, looking scared. Harry continued to scratch. "Professor, I'm heading to get something before this allergy gets out of hand." He hurried up there, letting the nurse give him an amused look. "Ron came in from Herbology and I started to scratch and have hives."
She checked his skin, taking the seed to see what it was. She hummed, getting him an allergy potion. "Not one on the list but apparently a physical allergy. It was one that was listed as some do and some don't, Mr. Potter."
"On the surging side?" he asked.
She hummed but nodded. "I'll make sure he goes to wash off. Go back to class but sit away from him and everyone else in there." He nodded, trudging back that way. She followed after tossing out the seed. She smiled at the teacher as she walked in. "Mr. Weasley and all those others who came in covered with seeds, go change," she ordered. They ran to do that. "Sorry, he got a good case of hives from it."
"I can understand that. I get them from bubotubers."
"Then beware the third years," she said dryly, going back up to make a note in Harry's chart. It was getting a bit thick. She'd have to start him a new folder soon.
Harry rubbed some more of the stuff onto his hives, keeping himself from scratching. Hermione tried a healing spell while the teacher lectured but it wasn't helping. In fact, he could feel a surge coming on. He concentrated on his hormone levels, keeping them as low as he could until the teacher noticed him squirming.
"Mr. Potter, are the hives still bothering you?"
"Yes, sir," he said, hoping to be excused. "We've even tried a healing spell."
"Go wash the area. That usually helps. Try some cold water." Harry nodded, heading for the bathroom to deal with that and himself. The teacher noticed he didn't come back and went looking, finding him mid-groan. "What are you doing?" he demanded.
Harry summoned the pamphlet, letting him see it. He finished up and came out to wash his hands. "That particular one can make them surge, Professor." The professor stared. "I could have lost control in there. I'm trying to keep it quiet."
"Good job, ten points for that. One of my roommates had that problem." He left, going back to his lecture while Harry finished cleaning his arm. It did look really nasty now. When he started to come back he pointed. "Infirmary." Harry got his bag and headed up there instead. "Now, where were we?"
Harry walked into the infirmary, letting her see his arm. "I surged."
"Fortunately I made it to the bathroom in time to handle it." She pointed at the infectious ward and he went to lay down while she came to treat the allergy marks on his arm. "How often is this going to happen?"
"I'd hope not often. Before we had a lot of them up here during surges to keep them safe. I noticed your information packet disappeared?"
"I showed it to the defense teacher when he caught me handling it," he said grimly. "He said one of his roommates had it."
"Yes he did. He had the worst luck controlling it too. At least you're doing better there."
"I saw why. That's why I was late," he said dryly, grinning a bit at her. She smirked back. "Honestly. Xander's a level ten." She shuddered. "He's never not backed up and he's got *two* boyfriends, two dogs to train, and four ferrets. Plus some horses. I saw a lot of things that wanted to court or own him because of his hormones. I'm hoping I never get that bad."
"We all hope that, Mr. Potter." She tucked him in and made a note about that allergy. She hated these hormone surges but there was really nothing she could do about it beyond letting the people nap it off after they had...taken care of the underlying cause. The headmaster and McGonagall walked in. "Ron Weasley brought in some seeds from herbology. They're one of the contact allergies. Mr. Potter's arm is eaten up with the hives. Plus it made him surge but he was good enough to keep it in the bathroom."
"Good," she agreed. "Is he resting?"
"Probably trying to. He didn't look too tired." She pointed so they went to check on him.
"You managed to hold in a surge?"
"Xander taught me how to lower them if I had to for easier getting away or to raise them if I had to use them offensively," he admitted. "As long as it's a minor surge, I can handle it until I can get somewhere to *handle it* most of the time."
"Excellent." She looked at his arm, wincing. "How covered was he?"
"It looked like the plant barfed seeds on him," he said with a grin. "He was covered. Neville too."
"Knowing that plant, it probably did," she agreed. She checked him over. "No lounging around for too long."
"No, once I quit itching," he said, making himself not scratch. "I'll go back to class, Professor. Or the library to do more research on what Xander said might be helpful."
"What did he assign you to look up?"
"He thought some power flow research might be helpful in case we ran into that could be disrupted, like a ritual casting. Or possibly to help cancel his resurrection that way if I can find anything on that. He thought some smith-crafting to learn more about the weapons and how they were formed magically might help at some time. Since I can do some wandless stuff, Sam and he suggested a whole list of books I can look into for help on that. Xander did caution me that he had seen people who could use that form get addicted so he wanted me to be very cautious and to do things the formal way instead of 'on the fly casting' as he called it." She nodded, looking pleased. "Plus when I'm in the dance, I can feel magic coming to me." He frowned then smiled at her. "Plus he gave me a very good recipe book of the ones he likes a lot. He also suggested I learn how to do some gem evaluation since a lot of demons have courted him by leaving him some."
"They have?" Dumbledore asked.
"That's to mostly get his attention so he'd know they were interested, Headmaster. He makes them take them back when he can. Since he's a known weapons person, some leave him weapons. One left him a baby tiger cub. One left him a bejeweled mummy at one point in time." He grinned. "One sent him a chocolate statue of female genitalia with a six-foot white chocolate toy in the box, and a necklace from Cartier." McGonagall blushed, clutching her throat. "He was not amused with that one. Said he went to bed with a headache that night."
"I would have too," she agreed firmly. "Should we watch out for that sort of interest?"
"From what he heard, they want me a lot since someone brought me to their attention. Nothing like the ones that want him, Sam, and Dean for being demon hunters. I'm only a being with a destiny. They're higher on status points." They looked confused. He sat up. "What we are, the type of people we are, are taken as concubines," he told her. She nodded slowly at that. "Concubines that are special or have special skills, or used to be your enemy, give you higher status if you can attain them."
"Oh!" she said, getting it. Then she remembered the prophecy about the boy. "Oh, dear." He nodded. "So Xander hunted them and he's got a worse condition so therefore he's more wanted."
"I'm a higher level than Sam and Dean. We're about tied on their want lists because they hunt demons and I've got that stupid prophecy and an evil thing wanting to kill me." He grinned. "One even came to me to say he'd help me defeat Voldemort if I became his plaything."
"I doubt that would be necessary," she said firmly.
"Yes, but if his people find out, the same demon could make them a wonderful offer if they would give me to him."
"I understand that risk," she assured him, giving him a pat. "That spot on your arm really does look nasty."
"And it itches," he assured her.
"I can tell." She patted him on the shoulder. "You did good getting to somewhere safe to handle it."
"I did hear that frustration bombs might happen, and if they do I'm very sorry. Those I probably can't hold off all that long."
"We've had half-veela here who have had the same problem," Dumbledore assured him.
"Xander told me there's a demonic convention coming up for the GHS members who've been taken as concubines and mates, plus all the veelas and siren offspring they associate with. It's supposed to be near the holidays and he said he might attend that one to check up on me. Supposedly it happens outside London every ten years or so."
"The Ministry helps put up shields around it," she agreed. "It's right near a muggle maternity center I do believe."
"So if it leaks they're nearby for when the baby surge happens in a few months?" he asked with a grin.
"Apparently. Lay down." He did that. "Good boy. I'll talk to Professor Flitwick about you missing his class in case that doesn't go away before lunch." She left with the Headmaster. "I do believe Xander was quite helpful to him. Even if it did make us all paranoid it was a bit helpful."
"How did he come to their attention?"
"Xander told me that a demon had told him to cancel out a kitten poker debt," she told him as they walked down the stairs.
"That way he could train the new young one before someone stole him for good from us."
"Hmm." He went to his office.
McGonagall went up to charms, waving him out for a moment. "Mr. Potter ended up being allergic to something that came out of Herbology today. Mr. Weasley was kindly wearing some seeds on his shirt when he came in and Mr. Potter's arm is a mass of hives. He's in the infirmary. They're trying to decrease them but it hasn't helped so far," she said quietly.
"That's reasonable." He pulled her away from the door. "I was talking with Madam Sprout and she said something about some new information?"
"I'll tell you during lunch." He nodded, going back to his class while she went to her free period of grading. She had a class next period and so did he so he came down at the start of lunch. She got the information to hand to him. "Mr. Potter has that problem," she said quietly. "A demon kindly told a person they wanted in another realm with the same problem so he came to train him this summer."
"I'd heard he'd been taken for some training off-realm." He settled in to read the information, staring at her. "Another one?"
"Two," she admitted. "We have two but one's very low level." He grimaced but nodded. "Mr. Potter learned a lot about how to control himself and them from him."
"Good! The last one we had leaked all over the place and nearly caused a few orgies during his NEWTs."
"He did say that sometimes frustration would make it worse. He managed to hold off a small surge thanks to those seeds until he could...." She coughed. "Handle it for himself in the bathroom."
"Even better!" He looked at her. "Which seeds did it?" She handed him her copy of the allergy list. "This is extensive. Someone must've done a lot of testing."
"Indeed. On the other side are things that can make them surge."
He shuddered, memorizing that list as well. "The next time we have one who suddenly breaks out, we'll know what to do." She nodded. "Interesting. Anything else come of his sudden bout of training?"
"He said he learned a very unique style of self-defense work that came with a built-in dance." He looked amused. "Apparently it *helps*."
"Ah." He considered it. "How bad is it?"
"I have no idea. He was practicing last night in the Room of Requirement. Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley both came out blushing brightly at what they had seen."
"That might be interesting to watch," he decided.
"It could be. We should ask them how ...enticing it is, just in case someone spies."
"I can do that. I have them both after lunch." He smiled. "Thank you. The other Heads of Houses know?"
She nodded. "You were the last because we had to make sure he wouldn't run into those herbs in Herbology or Potions."
He shuddered. "They're all on the syllabus the last time I knew." She nodded. "They both need the study time probably. I'll see you at the table." He walked out thinking. Then he decided to ask a question. He found Mr. Potter scarfing food. His arm was wrapped tightly in some bandages that looked a bit gross. "You're leaking," he told him.
Harry jumped, looking at him. "No I'm not." He pointed at the bandage. "Oh, that." He grimaced. "Yeah, they're nasty to look at but I was starved and I should probably go to class."
"I had a small question."
"If I can answer I will."
"Is there a way to test future problems?"
"There's a test kit for those who already have broken out," he offered. That got a beaming smile. "We'll have to have Professor Snape or someone mix the solutions that get dropped onto some blood."
"That would be most reasonable. Do you know what they are?"
"It's on the back of the test kit. I have mine in my bag from earlier."
"Excellent. May I?" Harry dug it out and handed it over. "Not very hard to mix as long as you could find the proper chemicals."
"Xander said you can find most of them at any good chemical shop and that one," he said with a point, "at most muggle grocery stores."
"Even better. Can you let Madam Pomfrey make her own?"
"Of course. If she wants. Do we think there's more?"
"One never knows but one should be aware of it in case of future problems."
He leaned down next to the tiny teacher's ear. "If I ever get that bad, in my trunk is a calling stone for Xander's house. He lives in Miami in his realm." That got a nod from the charms teacher. He sat back up. "That way if I *ever* get that bad or I start to surge or something," he said quietly.
"Agreed. We can handle that." He handed back the kit. "I'll have them take it tonight to make our own for the infirmary. Have those changed before class, Mr. Potter."
"Yes, Professor Flitwick." The professor smiled and walked up to his seat. Hermione was giving him a pointed stare. "Remember last year before finals?" She grimaced but nodded. "The test kit shows how bad that is."
"I see. What does it show on people without that problem?"
"Not a bloody thing," he said with a grin.
"Even better. Put it away." He did that. "How is your arm?"
"Itches like I've got things nibbling on it." He finished up and headed back up there for some new lotion to be put on and then new bandages. He barely made it to charms in time. He saw Hermione thinking and shook his head, getting a frown back. He'd have to make sure she understood that she couldn't do anything about them. Last year she had tried to look for a cure so he was normal again. Now he knew why there wasn't one.
Harry came out of his last kata, finding Professors Flitwick, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape watching him. "Sorry, didn't know you were in here." The room gave him a towel to wipe his face off. "Um, can I escape or did I accidentally affect someone?" he asked when they continued to stare.
"Nice sword work," Flitwick said finally.
Harry grinned. "They're the self-defense katas that are built into the storytelling dances. It's the life story of a young man who goes for warrior training, fights in a few battles, gets captured, sold, has to fight and make his owner like him, gets freed after another battle or two, and then goes home to get married before he ends up teaching others. There's eighty hours total of all the storylines. The katas are faster and keep me well-enough in shape."
McGonagall cleared her throat, shaking Snape loose from his staring as well. "I can see why it keeps your hormones down."
He nodded. "Plus helps with my balance, grace, and sword work," he agreed.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "How often do you do these, Harry?"
"Every day. Physical fitness is important when you're getting ready to go to war or simply protecting yourself."
"Another order from Xander?" Snape asked.
"No, from Dean. His and Sam's family have been hunting demons since Dean was four. He's thirty and has been hunting them on his own now for years."
Snape nodded once. "I can see why fitness would be important to such a person. You do not need to."
"I do, it's the best way to wear out the stupid hormones until I find someone I want to date, Professor. Plus it gives me time to think about things without really thinking if that makes sense."
"Like meditation," Flitwick agreed. "Some day I would like to see these storylines." Dumbledore gave him an incredulous look. "They sound and look quite interesting."
"They are. It's somewhere between native dancing and belly dancing according to Sam. Xander taught Sam and Dean both the same dance style."
"They were both very tall boys," McGonagall said.
Harry grinned. "Sam's six-five. Dean's six-one and so's Xander." He stretched up to pop his back then wiggled a bit. "There, better. My back needed to pop after that last leap. It usually does." He looked at the staring professors. "That's why I do it in here, so no one can watch me."
"That's probably a good idea," Snape said dryly.
Harry grinned. "Hermione tried the first night, Ron too. Ron squeaked for hours." McGonagall laughed. "What else can I do for you tonight, Professors?"
"Is all this really necessary to keep you lowered?" Dumbledore asked.
"Headmaster, level eights are very high up. I can consciously or unconsciously lose control of myself and send this whole school into a rutting fit." Snape's mouth flopped open. "I was taught to do it consciously as a last resort to get free of an attack. I have better weapons than that at my disposal. Unconsciously would include surges and those things. We all surge sometimes. Dean told me he surged once because he had food poisoning and felt miserable." He wiped his sword down and put it back into his bag. "Right afterward, some demons decided to take their ammunition from their car's hunting supplies, replacing it with gold and then chocolate. And then tried to take Dean. Fortunately Sam had bought more."
"They hunt with what?" Snape demanded.
"Usually, shotguns, but they also use machetes, axes, short swords, regular swords thanks to Xander, some small wandless spells now and then. Xander learned a lot more about ancient weapons while Dean and Sam learned primarily modern muggle weapons. The three made sure I was proficient in *all* of them in case it was necessary. After all, Xander fought his way out of a harem of flame demons with salt and sugar once. I'm not that good yet."
"Smothered them?" Flitwick guessed. Harry grinned and nodded. "That would seem effective if you didn't have water."
"No, none there at all. Dean's last one Sam solved by running over in their car. They wanted to make sure I was well-protected since I'm not in the same realm and I don't have the backup of the support group. If I did, they actually have military people who go on rescues when they need it."
McGonagall swallowed. "Can't they lower them?"
"Xander can't get out of backlog. Sam and Dean are only half as high up as Xander is. They're wanted for their jobs. Sam's got a small prophecy about him as well, but he's denying it and fighting it hard. He doesn't want to lead an army of demons."
"I can't say as I blame him," Flitwick decided. "I would still like to learn more about this dance style."
"Sure. But I can't teach."
"Agreed, I doubt I've ever been that limber." He smiled. "Go clean up before someone gets ...antsy from your sweat."
"First, I want to see what's in this test kit," Snape said. Harry got it out of his school bag, tossing it over. He caught it and looked at the ingredients. "I know where I can procure most of it."
Flitwick pointed. "That one he said can come from muggle grocery stores."
"Indeed. Or the herbalist in Diagon. I'll ask her about the last one. The allergy list, it was quite extensive."
Harry sat down, looking at them. "The group had a chemist go through all the herb samples he could and test everything he could. They had a list of eight or so before he started to test. He tested all the herbs, herbal supplements they could find, diet supplements they could find, and everything else to make sure nothing else surprised them. At one point, one of Xander's boyfriends tried some herb and vitamin laden gas that was supposed to help suppress things. It ended up making him surge during a convention." They all shuddered. "Thankfully he tried it instead of Xander as a security precaution."
"What do his boyfriends do?" McGonagall asked.
"One's a detective. I met him. He came up to help Xander when he was clearly backlogged much too much. Right before we came back. The other is a criminalist. That's an officer that finds out who did crimes by using science and a laboratory."
"We have aurors who do basically the same thing using magic," Flitwick offered. Harry grinned at that. "Doing those, how much backlog do you keep, Harry?"
"Not that much. I'm usually pretty worn out. I ...handle it in the morning and then after I do this I usually finish it off, then do my homework, Professor. That way I can shower in peace and privacy more often."
"That's a wise decision," McGonagall agreed. "Does Xander work?"
"No, ma'am. He used to work construction before his hormones got out of control. Afterward, he's usually too confused to do much of anything. Though he does crochet and ride his horses nearly every day. Plus he's a fantastic cook."
"He can't wear his out?" Snape asked. "With that herb mix?"
"That's to be used once in a great while, Professor Snape. Any more often and it leads to lethargy, lack of eating, and then death." Snape shuddered. "Xander was doing that accidentally on an herbalist's word. He had lost a good twenty pounds in the two weeks he was on it. He spread it to others in the group and they also got too sick to work." Flitwick shuddered. "That's for things like I'm being rescued and have to be less noticed but you can't stick me in my never-ending bag."
"You can?" McGonagall asked.
Harry nodded. "As long as it fits inside it'll hold it. If the bag rips, it goes to a demon mafia realm but otherwise it'll hold anything that can fit inside. Sam said he's had to help rescue Xander that way in the past."
"I would like to look at those spells," Flitwick said.
"As long as it doesn't break the bag or them," he offered. That got a nod. "Let me empty it into my trunk for a few days. Xander made sure I had the sword he gave me, a few daggers to wear when I had to leave the school, and Dean gave me a single weapon as well." That got a nod. "Plus all the clothes we found at that one huge bazaar."
"Define huge?" Dumbledore asked.
"It looked like they had hollowed out a moon or something and built it inside. They had these neat flying carts that didn't go by magic. That's where Xander got taken by the furry demons who wanted to pet his hair."
"His hair did look soft," McGonagall admitted. "Can you do this during the day?"
"I'd rather do it at night so I have time to calm down afterward and I can immediately shower. Plus if I should surge, it won't leak out and hit any full classrooms, ma'am."
"That is wise, plus you can use the wearing out after the day's exertions," she admitted.
He nodded. "It gives me time to calm down after dinner. Then I run up, take a shower, do my homework, and hit the bed."
"Can you do it later and do your homework first?" she suggested. "That would be even less risky."
Harry blushed a little bit. "I have about a six to eight hour cycle on my hormones at the moment. That's about when I start to feel that confused/bouncy, starting to back up again feeling." They all nodded at that. "So I do it now because that's about when. Plus it may be wearing me out extra far so I'm not in danger of accidentally hitting anyone overnight with them while I'm sleeping. Like when I'm dreaming," he said at her confused look. She blushed but nodded quickly that she understood. "The boys don't mind, but I don't want to hit them and make them have to deal with it either. It'd be unfair."
"It would be," she agreed, looking at the headmaster. "It seems he's got a good plan in place for when things start to occur."
"Xander made sure I knew how to handle it when and if something happened, ma'am. He's got the highest recorded levels in years, if not centuries."
"Ah. That is the sort of careful attitude you need to not hormone anyone in class some day," she decided. "Can you shower in here?"
"I could if the room gave me one and I brought down clothes. I generally soak any clothes I wear when I'm working out immediately so the house elves don't get hit as well. I have no idea if or how they'd react plus it means not stinking up the room with hormones and sweat."
"That's a very good idea," Flitwick agreed. "Xander's?"
"Sam's. He lived in a dorm for a bit. He went to Stanford, in the US. Nearly graduated before the demon killed his girlfriend one night. He was going to go to law school."
"That's a very smart young man," Dumbledore said. "Dean went to college as well?"
"Dean's a hands-on sort of learner. He makes some of their equipment for hunting. Xander's the same way, that's why he was made crew lead on his construction site within a year of starting work there." That got a nod. He grinned. "At least I'm not the high maintenance level ten sort, sirs. Xander said he goes out for massages every few days plus he has to have two boyfriends and he's still almost always backlogged unless there's a dangerous situation going on. Even with this dance and katas plus all the cooking and chocolate he does all day long."
"Yes, thankfully you're not," Dumbledore agreed. "You'd have to do your last year of school from a distance. How does your teacher support himself?"
"He has money. He's also got a safety deposit box of presents he couldn't get the ones who want him to take back yet. There for a while he was fighting boredom by playing poker with the criminal element in Miami to keep them from using their funds for things like smuggling drugs and weapons. His boyfriend Don said that he made close to a hundred million off that." Snape's mouth fell open again. He nodded. "That way drug dealers and those sort couldn't use their funds for bad plans that would hurt their city. Xander's very good friends with the station his boyfriends work in, plus the one's boss in the lab is like a family mentor. He makes them meals all the time when he's bored."
"That is probably a lot of cooking," Flitwick said.
"He's an *excellent* cook, Professor. He did something with steak that made it nearly fall apart and then added stir fried vegetables and a brandy sauce. Plus all the sides and things. I've seen less fancy meals on cooking shows and magazines."
"Interesting. It's a good hobby to have and I'm sure his family enjoys it."
"Dean certainly did. He drooled on Xander for cooking such good meals." He grinned. "Apparently when Xander was training them in ancient weapons and things, he made enough dinner for them to have leftovers every day. Sam said they gained about ten pounds in two months from how good he cooks."
"Perhaps he should work in a restaurant then," Dumbledore said.
"Sir, that would create sweating, which would make others exposed to his hormones," Harry said dryly. "Xander once brought down a shopping center, a full block of a shopping center, by fighting against someone trying to take him by letting loose." The headmaster went a bit pale at that. "Even if he could thanks to being backed up, it's not safe for him to be out of the house that often. He said plenty like him live in secure compounds to be safe."
"Plenty of people don't work," Flitwick agreed. "I'm sure his boyfriends make a good enough paycheck for them to live off of, Albus."
"Xander has over a hundred million dollars," Harry pointed out again dryly. "He lives in a pretty nice mansion sized house in Miami. In the States." Snape gave him a horrified look. "He manages to get out his need to work by cooking for the station where his boys work now and then, doing a lot of hobbies, helping others who need training, and those sort of things. Even if he wants to work now and then he can't due to his hormones not being able to be weeded down that far." He stood up. "I think that's a sensible precaution with what happens when we're stolen. Though, I'm told Xander's had a lot of fun destroying some of the realms he was stolen to in the past." He smirked. "I really should shower, Professors." They nodded and left him alone. He glared at the headmaster's back. He didn't like where Dumbledore's thoughts had been leading.
"Come on, Draco, you have to eat," Pansy ordered from the Slytherin table. They could hear her across the Great Hall easily enough.
"Why are you staring over there?" Hermione asked Ron.
Harry stared at him. "Aw, shit," he muttered. "Ron, is it like it was when Fleur was here?" Ron nodded slowly. "Ron's sensitive to hormone spikes. So tell me if I do that." He looked up at the worried looking Professor Snape, heading up there. "Is he in a rut?" he asked quietly. Snape flinched, looking down at him with his customary sneer. "If he's rutting, it's probably not good."
"How would you know?"
"Ron's still sensitive to hormone spikes, like with Veelas," he said quietly.
"That explains a lot," he decided. "I'll take that into account."
"Make him wear himself out and restart a normal schedule. Starting with eating."
"I'll do what I can."
"I'm sure his father knows a whorehouse," Harry said bluntly. Snape choked but nodded, going to check on his students. Harry went back to his table, considering it. He wished they had older members to help them, like a mentor. Xander had said he still went to his about things. Plus they were good friends to have. Someone you could talk to about the problems going on in your life. He really wished he could get one of them here to help them sometimes. It'd make things easier. He kicked Ron under the table. "Quit, Ron."
Ron snapped out of it, staring at him. "Huh?"
"It's like it was with Veela," Hermione said firmly. "You're staring again."
"I can't really help it."
Harry nodded. "I know." Ron stared at him, looking confused. "Some people are more sensitive than others." He shrugged. "Tell me if you start to feel like that about me so I can handle my own surge."
"Sure, I can do that," Ron promised, still looking confused. Harry just grinned and handed Ron the pudding. It was good for him. Draco got led out of the Great Hall by Snape. Harry sighed. "Having a bad day?" Ron teased.
"Wishing we had some mentors here to lean on when things like this start happening."
"I'm sure you'll get to visit," Hermione said.
Harry nodded. "Xander said he'd be at the convention this holiday." He grinned. "It's a multi-day convention just outside of London." He dug in, eating heartily. He needed it because he actually had a full afternoon of classes today. His only one but he was going to be *so* bored with charms. They were going to be going over the things he had gotten right last class.
Harry found Draco outside the Room of Requirement that night when he came down to practice. "Feeling better?"
"Slightly," he said, staring at him. "Why help me?"
"Because I don't want to see anyone suffer that way, Draco. Plus, with you putting out that way, it puts you in more danger. I'd never wish that life on anyone."
"The life of someone who's stolen and used." Draco shuddered. "Xander let me talk to a few so I could learn exactly what happened and what that life was like when I could only imagine it was bad. I wouldn't want anyone to have it happen to them." He looked at the room's usual place and started to pace. "I'm going to work on the katas Xander taught me to help me wear these things out. I can't teach them, I can only do them, but if you want...." He turned and found Draco gone. "Or not," he decided. "So much for being nice this week." The doors appeared and he headed inside. This time the room had a shower for him. He had forgotten that last time and had nearly gotten jumped by Ron in the common room. He checked around the room, finding a portrait in there. He stared at the person in it. "Out please." She looked offended. "I'm not sure if I can affect you so please leave." She wouldn't so he covered it with his shirt before moving to stretch. Maybe tonight he'd go back to some of the original dances. He was feeling a bit overloaded and uneasy. Maybe Draco's spike had caused a small one in him. Ron had been staring at him all afternoon.
Two weeks later, Hermione walked up to their head of house. "Ma'am, do you have a few minutes?"
The girl looked serious and worried. There was no way this was a minor issue. "Of course, Miss Granger. Let me get this class settled." She went in to do that then came back out. "What seems to be the problem?"
She grimaced. "What about Mr. Potter?"
"He's been...lethargic and things for the last few days," she said quietly. "He barely ate lunch. We almost couldn't get him up for breakfast, but he insists he feels fine."
She thought about it. "Do you think he's surging?"
"I have no idea," she admitted. "All I know is he's napping in the common room and I can't get him up but he seems physically fine when I checked his pulse and things. Even with a checking spell."
"Let me have Poppy see to him. You could have went to her."
"I'm not sure if she could handle it if Harry's surging like Malfoy was late last month."
"We'd know if he was. He's strong enough to knock half the school on their rears." She went in to call the nurse from her office floo. "Poppy, Mr. Potter won't wake up in the Gryffindor common room. Miss Granger did a checking spell and claims it looked normal but he won't wake."
"I'll meet you up there." She turned off the connection and gathered things up. She had an idea what was wrong. If so, she wanted to beat someone senseless. She met the deputy headmistress up there, going in to use the test kit on Harry. She winced. "That's not good."
"No. Remember how he said things happened if the herbs were given too often?" McGonagall nodded. "This is what happens. I had a house elf find his checking stone and used it to talk to his trainer one night about that. He was quite blunt on the subject." She went to get it and came down with the small stone. "He needs to go see his trainer."
"What about his lessons?"
"We cannot weed this out of him here," she said firmly. "Nor would I trust a hospital to know what to do." McGonagall slumped. "You'll send him or I will."
"Why can't he take it if it's weeding out his problem?" Hermione asked.
"Because if you take it too often, it negates your sense of where you are on top of the lethargy and near-death it can cause. Did you give them to him?" she demanded.
"I think Ron gave him some the other day and I kinda gave him some when he surged earlier yesterday. We thought we were helping!" she defended at the stereo glares sent her way. She shrank back when they kept up. "We were only trying to help Harry get back to normal."
"He'll never be fully normal again," McGonagall told her. "Get over it!"
"The headmaster said it would be all right when I asked him."
"He'll be getting yelled at too," Pomfrey assured her. "You now have detention with Filch for a month for intentionally harming your best friend." She never gave detention to any student but she was going to make sure the girl served this one. McGonagall nodded she agreed. They got Harry arranged and McGonagall activated the calling stone. She winced when nothing happened. "Uncharged?"
"The school's shields," Hermione said. "We can take him out to the pitch or on the road to Hogsmeade and do it easier probably." She floated him up. They looked at her. "It was my mistake, I'm going to help fix it." She floated him out while a house elf got his trunk and bag together. The pitch was still blocked but the shields ended not that far away. They got outside them and found Dumbledore walking their way. "He's hurt from those herbs you said I should give him." McGonagall set off the calling stone, making Harry and his things disappear. Hermione put up her wand. "I'll start my detention tonight?" she asked calmly. McGonagall nodded so she walked off. She knew she had done wrong and would be telling Ron why later on.
McGonagall turned on the headmaster. "I'd move before I hit you, Albus. You told that girl to overdose Harry on those herbs. He's not supposed to have them more than once every few months at the most!" she said shrilly. "He could die from this! How dare you!"
Madam Pomfrey walked her off. "He's safe now. Xander will take care of him."
"Hmm. Yes, he seemed like the mothering sort when I met him." She calmed herself on her walk. "Check Mr. Malfoy for the same problem?"
"I can do that." She ran up to get the test kit and call him from class. "Mr. Malfoy, there was evidence of someone overdosing Mr. Potter on those herbs."
"I haven't taken anything," he told her.
"It can be dusted on your clothes, boy. Let's do the level testing kit and we'll see if you have been or not." He nodded, letting her do that for him. It came out raised and he winced. "Can you not tell you're raised?"
"No. Damn it!" He kicked the desk. "Was I given them?"
She tested then nodded. "Indeed. Let me call up Professor Snape so he can find them. That way we can get whatever cleaned up for you." She moved to her floo. "Professor Snape, I need you in the infirmary immediately."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because some *herbs* were dusted on two students. One's still here. In a surge he can't feel."
"I'll have his room checked first," he agreed. "Then be up there. Have him handle it." He hung up and went to do that, including a strict instruction to not do more than clean Draco's clothes. The headmaster had them dusted with the herbs while they washed. Clearly the man needed beaten.
Danny looked out the kitchen window while doing the dishes. "Hey, Xander, do you usually have young guys appear on the lawn these days?"
"It must be Harry." He went to check, frowning and sneezing. "He's been herb dusted," he called. Speed came out to help him. It had been a family dinner. "Danny, check his bag? Find out where it's coming from?" They got him into Xander's shower to clean him off. Then into a guest bed to rest while Alexx set up an IV. The kid was in bad looking shape. His eyes looked sunken, he didn't wake up through all of that. His skin looked pasty and yellow-ish. "Should we send him to the ER?"
"They're overloaded right now with that flu going on," Alexx said quietly.
Xander nodded. "I'll stay up with him. Thanks, Alexx." He watched Harry sleep.
Danny came in. "There was herb residue all over his clothes. It looks like someone washed them with some in the water." Xander glared. "Not me."
"I'm so going to stomp someone at his school."
"He's in school?"
"His last year. I talked to his school nurse a few weeks back. She wanted more detailed information on how to handle some things. Us and Adam had ice cream overnight that night." He scowled at the boy on the bed. "How long do we think he's had it?"
"Probably a few days." Xander nodded. "We'll handle it, Xander. You know we will."
"I know. Thanks, Danny."
"Welcome. Tell us when you're ready for us to take a turn. He sounded like he's a nice kid."
Xander grinned, giving him a hug. "Don't warn Sam. Sam wanted to go beat a few of his teachers after they talked to him about school stuff."
"I won't. Only that he's here." He patted him on the head and walked out, going to call Sam and tell him that. "Hey, Dean, Danny. Nah, not a real issue, slight one. Harry just showed up on the back lawn. No, he's resting. No, not a battle. Xander said I can't tell you because Sam will go beat someone at his school." He smirked. "Yup, herbed. We're handling it but he's been pretty infected with it. No clue. Thanks, man." He hung up and looked at Horatio and Speed, then at Don and Alexx. "He should be okay."
"The kid's not immortal," Speed reminded him.
Danny nodded. "Still, it should be fine. As long as we can get him nutrients and stuff he should be fine."
"If we have to, I know how to drop a feeding tube," Alexx offered.
"If he's this bad in the morning we might take you up on that." She nodded, going to check the poor boy over again. He looked at Speed. "I have no idea but Xander said Sam wanted to beat some of his teachers already."
"Not so sure I don't want to," he admitted. "I read those books."
Horatio looked at him. "Am I missing something?"
"Lightning bolt scar, dark, messy hair, named Harry Potter?" Speed asked with a small grin.
"He is?" Horatio demanded. Danny and Speed both nodded. "How did Xander find him?"
"A demon canceled a kitten poker debt by telling him the kid had broken out in another realm." Danny smirked. "Which is nice since we don't need a herd of cats."
"We have the ferrets, that's enough," Speed assured him, making his mate smile "Okay, we'll be back in the morning. Call us if you need us before then. Do what you did with Xander when these guys got herbed." That got a nod and they headed home for the night. Speed could see what flying on a broom was like later on, when the kid was well. Instead of going to the school to kick someone's ass for doing this to the kid and then asking.
Danny carried Xander up some water, letting him have a hug too. "You were nearly that bad."
"He's not an immie."
"No, he's not," Danny agreed. "But normal GHS survive this too, Xander." He nodded at that reminder, getting comfortable on the bed beside the kid. "He'll be fine. If he's not waking in the morning Alexx said she'd drop a feeding tube."
"Then we can use the diet shakes," Xander agreed.
Danny nodded. "Good. Let me get Don to get him some?" Xander grinned and nodded. "Good boy." He left, heading to find Don had already went and was stacking some in the fridge. "Thanks. Xander's about to disappear to stomp someone over there."
"I'd go with him," Don promised. "I read those books too." He took a kiss. "Xander, we're going to sleep, wake us up when it's our turn to watch him."
"I can do that."
"Do it anyway," Don ordered up the stairs. He walked off before Xander could complain, going to nap for now. The kid wasn't going to get fussing duties all to himself. Alexx wouldn't let him. Speed either. Or Adam. He called him. "It's us. Xander's last student appeared on the back lawn heavily herbed. Alexx put in an IV, said she might do a feeding tube in the morning if he wasn't at least slightly better. Yup, just a head's up," he told Ray, Adam's boyfriend. "Thanks, Ray." He hung up. "They'll be on the watch for Xander to need help." He climbed into bed and snuggled up next to Danny. Danny didn't cuddle but would let him snuggle against his side until one of them went to relieve Xander watching over the kid.
Harry blinked, looking at the bleary person above him. "Where am I?" he asked quietly. "Did you take me?"
Ray Kowalski snorted but shook his head. "Nope. You're at Xander's, kid. I'm Ray, one of his friends. My boyfriend's the national head." He handed him some water. "Here, drink. It's been nearly a week."
Xander walked in with some soup and a glass of ice. "Since you got sent here unconscious due to the herbs someone washed your clothes in," Xander told him. "Drink." Harry did. "Now, eat your soup." Harry did that slower but he seemed to enjoy it. Xander checked his forehead, smiling at the boy. "Better. Feeling a bit better?"
"Yup. I slept on and off for the next few days when I did it to myself." He smoothed over his hair. "When you're done eating, take a shower so we can change the bed. You got a bit sweaty that first night, caught a small fever from the transport." Harry nodded, gulping his soup. "Good boy. Go shower." He pointed. Harry trudged to do that. Xander put the glass of ice on the bedside table's coaster and let Ray help him remake the bed. "Thanks, Ray."
"Not an issue, Xander." He smirked at him. "He seems like a nice kid."
"He is." He finished up and turned, finding himself in a demon realm. "Huh. Didn't want to be here. I need to be at home to take care of someone who's sick."
"You can fuss over me," a female said.
"I hate women," he pointed out. She pouted. "I can kill you or you can send me back. Take your pick, lady. Women creep me out."
"We can cure that," she offered, moving closer, smirking at him.
Xander pulled his sword out of his hair and waved her on. "You can try." She squeaked and he found himself back in the house. "Interesting." He put his sword up and went back to what he had been doing, making Ray laugh. "She wanted to make me het again."
"Pity," Ray agreed dryly. Harry came out wearing the pajamas he had set in there. The kid was tiny. "Let's get you tucked back in, Harry." He and Xander tucked him in then patted him on the head.
"Ice right there melting for cool water. You take another nap. We'll get you up in about two hours to have some more soup," Xander told him.
"Yes, Xander." He grinned. "How did I get here?"
"I don't know. You and your trunk appearing on the back lawn."
"Huh. The nurse must've."
"She's one hell of a lady. She showed up to have ice cream with me and Ray's boyfriend to ask more technical questions. I had to get Adam out of bed to answer some of them for her." Harry grinned, pushing back his hair. "We'll work on that while you're getting better." He walked out to call around and let them know the boy had finally woken up.
Ray sat on the foot of the bed, watching him. "Any idea who did this to you, Harry?"
"No. I'm sure someone's panicking though." He considered it. "I know Hermione caught me surging and snuck a bit into some pudding one night. I took a bite and spit it back out. She thinks I ate it though."
"We found it all over your clothes. It had been washed with it."
"Only the teachers could make a house elf do that. Was it just me? There's another in the school."
Xander came back. "There is?"
"Yeah. We heard rumors that his father took some of the herbs to make him a temporary one for political bullcrap to get his own way. His son's a really low level. A two or so. He had a rutting problem earlier this semester."
"Hmm." Xander considered it. "Are they doing it to him you think?"
"It depends on which teacher was doing it. Snape's the head of his house. I doubt he'd do it to his own student, especially a favored one."
"Malfoy?" Xander asked. Harry nodded slowly. "Remember, you're a book to us, kid."
"Oh, yeah. Eww."
Xander and Ray both grinned at that. "At least they haven't gotten to your world yet."
"Good point. How factual are they?" Xander went to the library and came back with the small stack for him. "Five years?"
"Yup, sure is," Xander agreed. He tested his forehead again. "You'll be fine. It'll take a few weeks but you'll be fine." Harry grinned. "If you want, I can go check on Draco for you."
"Are you going to beat someone?" Harry asked blandly.
"Only if they deserve it." He grinned a sweet, good boy grin.
"It was probably the headmaster. He was trying to be nosy and trying to suggest you were bad for not working and stuff."
"The man seems a tad bit manipulative from the books," Ray agreed.
"Just a bit," Xander said dryly. "I'll check on him later on tonight. Now, rest. The tv remote is beside the water getting damp." Harry snuggled down, letting himself drift off. He looked at Ray, who shrugged. "I'll check on him." He walked out back with the calling stone, using it to bring the school's nurse, making her give him a horrified look. "I could show up but there'd be an asskicking," he said dryly. "Harry's finally awake and starting to eat. It'll be weeks, Madam Pomfrey."
"We figured as much. That's why we sent his school trunk with him. He's to follow along in his books so he doesn't get behind. NEWTs are important."
"I understand." He grinned. "He was worried about the other one."
"He surged for nearly a week straight. I had to lock him in the infectious disease room so no one could get to him. Then nag him to eat."
"That's about usual," he agreed. "He wanted to know who did it."
She pursed her lips. "We don't feel that you should be needed to come beat him, Xander. I know you're protective of your students."
Xander beamed. "I so am and if the headmaster does it again I get to kick his ass."
"Agreed." She patted him on the cheek. "Bring him back by after the holidays if it takes that long." Xander's whole face lit up. "Can you get his eyes checked as well? He's been squinting."
"Of course I am."
"Good boy. Now send me back. I have to try not to strangle Mr. Malfoy for being a drama queen and getting hurt on purpose to get out of Creatures."
Xander laughed, handing over the extra calling stone. "That way you can get here to check on him if nosy people get insistent. Because if he shows up, he's mine."
"Agreed, dear." She let him set it off, sending her back to the school's boundaries. She walked back inside, smiling at the worried looking headmaster. "Mr. Harris called me over to tell me Mr. Potter had finally woken up and is able to start eating on his own again." He shuddered. "You should have learned not to mess with things you don't understand, finally." She headed up to treat Malfoy's tiny bite on his arm. Really, the boy was the most annoying thing some days.
Harry came down a few days later, looking around the house. "This is really nice, Xander."
"I had to do some renovations a few years back," he admitted with a grin. "The front used to be two rooms with a hallway between them." Harry grimaced. "Yeah, not that useful." He patted him on the back. "C'mon, I'm doing breakfast for my men. That way they can eat before I let them out of the handcuffs I put them in." Harry grinned but followed along. He could cook. Xander made him sit down instead of helping him. "Don't worry about that stuff yet. Fussing helps me wear it out. How do you like your eggs?"
"I don't care. Whatever you're doing is fine, Xander. Thank you."
Xander looked at him. "I read all five of those." Harry blushed, ducking his head. "How do you like your eggs?"
"Okay." He grinned and went back to it, handing Harry a full plate a few minutes later. He dished up the other stuff, carrying trays into the bedroom. "Eat it all or don't make it to work at all today. Frank agreed I needed to fuss over you two." He left them alone to eat, going to look Harry over. "We're under orders from your school nurse to get your eyes checked. We'll do that today and slowly work you back up to training and things." He got his own breakfast and bounced off to check on his boys while they ate. "Eat, Harry."
"Yes, Xander." He dug in, blinking a few times at the whirlwind known as his fussy teacher. Who yelped then moaned a few minutes later so apparently someone was curing his bounciness for him even if they were tied down and being made to eat. A redhead walked in and took off his sunglasses. "Xander's in the bedroom checking on his boys. He said they're tied down."
"I'm sure they are, Harry." He patted him on the shoulder as he walked past him, going into the bedroom. "Xander, I did need Daniel to work today," he chided gently.
"He didn't eat dinner or lunch. He's eating breakfast," he said firmly, not caring he was feeding Don breakfast because Don was teasing him.
Horatio scowled. Xander scowled back. "One hour." He went to wait on them to make sure they got to work this time.
Danny gave Xander a kiss. "Let us go so we can eat faster?" Xander huffed but did that. They ate, played with him for a few minutes, then went to shower, get dressed, and go to work with Horatio. Danny grinned at Frank when they met him on the stairs to the station. "You told him he could fuss today."
"Uh-huh. Not a great excuse when the DA himself is waiting on you guys."
Xander walked Harry into the only place that had an open appointment today, though he'd want a better eye examination than Wal-Mart gave. It was sad, he had to look up where this place was before they drove off. "This is my protégé, Harry."
"Hi, Harry," the receptionist said. "Fill this out." He took the forms to do that. "Are both of you being checked, sir?"
"No, I'm driving since Harry doesn't yet. I'll be fixing that very soon." Harry gave him an odd look from his chair. Xander grinned. "It's a good life skill. I even taught Ray Junior." He sat down next to him, looking at the form. "Use your mom's name," he whispered in his ear, getting a nod. That's what he had put it under for the appointment. Xander pointed at something. "NHI in your case."
"I remember but I don't remember their names."
"If it's been that long they probably don't have your files anyway," Xander pointed out.
"Good point." He filled that part in. "Are we going to have any troubles today?"
"If someone froze my bank account to get me to come after them I'll kill them and dance on their ashes," he said quietly. "Plus I have cash." He checked his wallet. "I did have cash." He called Steve. "Didn't I have cash on me?" It returned with a small gold wrapped chocolate coin. "They're doing it again, Steve. Thank you." He hung up so he could find his emergency card. "If we do, I'm kicking butt," Xander assured him. "Wait here." He got up and walked outside, letting the demon he could feel nearby take him. After kicking his butt, getting his people to fix what they had done to his account, and did a bit of shopping from his things for reparation, he walked back into the eye exam place, finding Harry still waiting. "Not gone in yet?"
"It's only been a few minutes." He looked at him then at his pockets. "Fixed?" he asked, sounding hopeful.
"Yup." He sat down, handing him a piece of chocolate. "They're very sorry they were going to stop me from going shopping."
Harry grinned. "You're an original, Xander. Really."
"I could be twins but Horatio shuddered at that thought."
Harry burst out giggling. "I can see why. No area would be safe."
"Well, no," he agreed. His phone beeped with a text message, making him sigh when he read it. He called Steve back. "Just fry whoever did it, Steve. Wal-Mart. Getting Harry's eyes checked. You haven't met Harry yet? Sure, come on over, Steve." He hung up. "Steve'll fix it for us," he said with a grin. He checked, he still had cash, just less. He looked up and mumbled something. It returned. "It's going to be a long day," he sighed. Steve stomped in just before Harry got called back. Xander let him hold the wallet. It got him taken but he came back a few minutes later sweaty with it fixed again. "Same one as last time?"
"Possibly. They were wailing that you wouldn't be theirs." He handed back the wallet. "All that they tried to take was solved too. I had a nice, long talk with the DPP up there."
"Cool. Gotta love that time dilation effect some of them have." Steve nodded. Harry came out a half-hour later, letting Xander pay for his exam. His card didn't work. Steve grimaced and pulled out one. "Sorry, someone was screwing with my account again. Gotta go beat them," he said with a smile for the receptionist. She looked nervous. "Not you, dear. The one who thinks I'm going to be his is trying to be mean and nasty. My boyfriend's a homicide detective." He smiled sweetly. Then they walked out. "Okay, we're taking you to a good place to get new glasses. Right?"
"Right," Steve agreed. "So, Harry?" Harry looked at him. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
"This is the student I had to rush off to teach," Xander told him. "Someone canceled a kitten poker debt to tell me about him."
"Ah. No wonder I haven't seen any more stray cats at the farm recently." Xander grinned. "Quit playing for cats too, Xander. You have enough pets."
"I know. I haven't played kitten poker in a while, Steve. Now, regular but without thug poker I've played." Steve groaned. "No thugs though."
"Horatio's going to beat you again."
"It sounds like it was helpful," Harry offered.
Steve grinned. "It was until they decided he was turning in information on them and got into a small war with a drug dealer who owed him a lot of poker winnings." Harry shuddered. "Basically, yes. So we don't want Xander to play poker with the thugs in Miami any more. While you're here, you can distract him all you want, Harry."
Xander smirked at him. "I've got to teach him how to drive and ride too."
"I'm sure you will since you even got Dean onto a horse."
"Girls love guys who can ride."
Harry squeaked and blushed. "Sorry, bad thought," he said at the amused looks he got.
"They happen to all of us, kid. Especially around Xander," Steve assured him. He got into the car to follow them to the eyecare place, calling Don on the way to warn him about the cards in case they failed for him too. Then he called the bank to warn them. She got it locked again for him and it was better. Much better.
Xander walked Harry in that afternoon. "See, light shopping but stuff you needed." He patted him on the head. "Go take a nap. You're tired." Harry yawned, taking his two bags upstairs to take a long nap. Xander went to where he could hear a movie going, finding Dean in there watching porn. "Dean!"
"What? Not like I'm whacking off to it or anything," he defended, smirking at Xander. "I was in the demonic neighborhood and they dropped me here after I kicked their butts again."
"That's cool." He gave him a hug. "Sam?"
"Crashed on the couch in the living room watching the food channel. No leftovers?"
"No one's been home for me to cook for and Harry didn't really eat a whole lot the last few days." He let him go. "C'mon. We'll go plan what we're doing next. I got Harry new glasses."
"Good. He probably needed them." He turned off the movie with the remote and followed his teacher and buddy out to the kitchen. Sam peeked in a few minutes later. "Yes, he's cooking for your tired butt, Sammy."
"I'm not that tired." He sat down, staring at Xander as he fixed real food. He moaned and whimpered at some of it even. Xander gave him a snack with a smile and a kiss on the head. "Thank you. I missed your culinary fingers."
"I missed having you two follow me around too," he promised with a grin. "No one's nagged me about my safety in weeks."
"They working overtime again?" Dean asked.
"Yup, sure are. It's spring break. Everyone's got overtime. Though I think I might take Harry down to the beach later. Let him scope bikinis for a bit."
"That might be nice," Dean agreed with a grin of his own. Xander handed him a plate. "Food," he moaned, taking a sniff. "Love your cooking, Xander." He dug in, stopping to pull something out. "I think they're back."
"They've been annoying me all day," Xander admitted. "Come on. I can prove I'm not going to be yours." They took him and Sam. Pity. Before the spell to bring Dean and the Impala could go off, they were back and the demons were now all gone. Every last one of that clan were gone. Well, there had been a family pet and it was fine, the DPP officer had adopted it for the former clan. Mysteriously the food quit changing and no more presents got left. Plus Xander's cards all started to work right again. They smirked at each other but went back to eating. Xander proved once again he was the badass of the demon universes whenever they screwed with him. "Are you guys coming to the convention in six weeks?"
"If possible," Sam agreed with a grin. "Vegas is going to be so overloaded again."
"The last Vegas convention was kinda fun," Xander offered with a grin. "I had just gotten back from learning the dances. Hubert was tiny. He kept sneaking out to steal steaks from the kitchen. I caused an orgy." He beamed when they snickered at that. "The first time I did the dances in public. I wonder if we'll have more agents being paranoid this time."
"Probably," Dean agreed. He finished up. "Oh, that was great, Xander."
"Welcome, Dean. It's nice someone appreciates my cooking."
"If we were certain no other demons would change the food, we could bring some to the station," Sam offered.
"The new chief hates that I do that. The old one retired after getting injured. The new one thinks I'm frivolous and going to taint his poor officers so they're less than manly. He hates all gay officers. I don't think he'll be around for very long."
"Why not?" Den asked.
"I heard that there's a high price on his head. Higher than the new one on Horatio's. I told Horatio about his. He was not amused but he did get to bust in to be impressive and taunt them while arresting them."
"Are you playing poker with the underground again?" Sam asked.
"No. Non-thug playing poker only."
"Uh-huh." Dean stared at him. Xander gave him a cute, innocent look. "If I hadn't heard stories about your time in the brothel I might believe that look."
"I'm trying really hard to stay a good boy."
"We know," they said together.
"You do try really hard," Sam agreed with a grin.
"Does Horatio know about this other price?"
"Not real sure," Xander admitted. "But I can't tell him without busting my poker buddies."
"Yeah, that'll work," Dean agreed. He grabbed the phone to dial Frank Tripp's cellphone. They had it on speed dial in case something happened. "Hey, Tripp, guess who's back in town," he said dryly. "I am looking at Xander. No, but he just mentioned that the new Chief of Police has a price on his head. Apparently it was higher than Horatio's last one?" He smirked. "I thought he might not know that, no. No idea. Xander was just fixing us lunch while defeating the hordes of evil who want his hair again. Thanks, man." He hung up. "He'll let it be known in the right ears."
"They'll still blame me." He looked around. "Wanna go to the farm?"
"Later," Sam ordered. "Are we still winning at poker?"
"It's no fun if I don't win." He scowled. "Why would I keep playing if I was losing?"
"Good point." He gave him a hug across the breakfast bar. "It'll be okay. You can wear out some of the fussing on us too, Xander." Xander beamed. "Just don't buy us new clothes. We can't fit any more in the trunk."
"You probably need some replaced."
"Not yet we don't," Dean told him dryly. He heard a car stop outside, looking out there. "That's a hummer."
"Ooops." Xander disappeared. Literally.
Sam stared at that spot then at Dean. "I think that's his version of hiding in a deep shadow."
"Possibly." Danny stomped in. "He just disappeared."
"Which demon has my mischievous boy this time?" he demanded, but he sounded fond.
"No clue," Dean admitted. "I'm guessing they took care of the one that had been dogging Xander all day." Sam nodded.
"How did he learn about this new contract price?"
"He said there's no thugs. It was thug-free," Sam said with a grin.
Danny growled. "I've got to spank him," he muttered as he walked out. He went to the place he knew someone would know. "Hey, Fu," he said as he walked in, getting a horrified look. "Horatio sent me. My boy back to playing poker here?"
"Only with legit people, Detective."
"No, he's not allowed. At all. He knows that. But can you kindly point me at someone who can tell me about the new price on the chief's head?"
He considered it. "I might know someone who might have heard about it, but I don't know who set it."
"Don't matter. We just need details."
"It might be too late," a voice called from the back. "We heard it was going to happen today." Danny's cousin who worked there came out of the kitchen with a soda. "Something about a court hearing?" Danny went pale. He shrugged. "No clue. But yes, we did remind Xander that he'd be drug out by his hair. Twice. He's bored. You need to do your boy more often, Messer. Before someone steals him for good." He walked off to take the soda into the back room. "Messer's here." They all groaned. Xander looked up from his hiding spot. "Asking about the new contract out on the chief."
One got up. "Let me tell him so he'll go away and quit tainting the air as a cop." He went out there to talk to the detective, giving him what he knew for certain. It was probably already too late anyway. Danny called that in to his boss, who sent more people to try to stop it, but it was probably much too late. Danny stomped off. The guy smirked, waving at his back. "Harris, don't bring him in again."
"I didn't. I was at home. I disappeared when he showed up." He grinned. "I'm trying to be a good boy but I'm *bored*."
The others in the room shuddered. That was a bad sign of impending doom for Miami. They might even be invaded if he was too bored. Like they had with those life-like robots that had wanted him.
Horatio walked in and to the back without saying a word, taking Xander out by the scruff of his neck. "Come tell us what else you've heard, Xander." He forced him into the hummer then drove him off to chastize him and get his boys a few days off. Though now that Sam and Dean were back, maybe they'd help some of that? Hopefully? Harry too since he was able to follow him around?
to part 2