Alex and Draco landed in the usual spot inside the manor house, looking around. "We're back!" he bellowed, making a few of the aunts smile. He heard a strange noise and looked in what used to be his study, smiling at the two babies in there. "Aww. It's scary creatures, Draco."
Draco looked then shuddered. "Why are they here?"
"We did tell Grandma Des that she could have them created as long as the aunts raised them since we're both scared of the cuteness." He walked in and sat down across from the mini-him. It had to be. It had dark hair and the other was a blond. He smiled. "Hi. What's your name?"
Aunt Nadia leaned in. "William Scott."
"William huh? That's a good name. Uncle Bill will be happy about that." He smiled when the baby smiled at him. "We do know that we have other heirs?"
"I've noticed that," she said dryly. "Thankfully this one will be a sane one. Unlike your daughter and most of the sons. Hopefully he'll be closer to Severus than not." She walked off again.
Alex looked out the doorway then snorted. "Yeah, right. And who raised me?" he called after her, hearing a groan. He looked at the baby again. "How old are you?" The baby crawled over to settle in his lap, beaming at him. "Sure, I can do that. It'll take a while for the cuteness to infect me or damage me." Draco groaned, going to find something to do in the kitchen. He smiled at the other baby. "Hi. I'm Uncle Alex." The baby burbled and waved a hand, then laid down in the doggy bed and went to sleep with his stuffed dog. "That's a good boy." He looked down. "So, little Bill. What're you doing today?"
The baby looked at a nearby vase and squinted, clapping and squealing when it floated over for him. "Ba!" he said proudly.
"Very good!" he praised, giving him a squeeze. "That's a very good manifestation, Bill! I'm very proud of you!" He checked it over. "Yup, you're so mine. Don't worry, the incubus inside won't hurt you. You can play with that one." The baby sucked on the rim of the vase and he grinned. "He taste good?" The baby patted his hands so he let him go, watching as he crawled off with the vase in his mouth. He followed the slowly crawling baby, grinning at the aunts. "Look who just manifested," he said proudly. "Unstuck and floated the capturing vase."
"Alex, what the hell!" his aunt Cordy yelled. "That could hurt or warp him!"
"Chill, it's an incubus. It won't hurt him." He smiled. "I can hear the little sex demon in there complaining about drool, but it won't hurt him even if it gets free. It's only an incubus." He beamed when Draco came in from the back yard. "Not only is he so mine, he just manifested early! He unstuck and is sucking on an incubus-containing vase. I'm so proud!"
Draco looked at him then at the child. "Is the demon throwing a fit about drool? I can hear something."
"Yup," Alex said, beaming at the aunts. "Good choice, Aunties! He's a little me! He's the next great Cursebreaker Dumass. We'll have to start on his sensing lessons early so they're natural to him." He picked up the baby to cuddle, making him a happy boy. "Such a good boy! That's my boy!" The baby leaned forward to suck on his nose for him. "Sure, you can eat me for a bit. It's a good treat for a good boy since I'm so sweet."
Aunt Nadia took the baby and handed off the vase, weathering the crying. "Go away, Alex." He pouted. "Go tell the others."
"I'll go tell Sev," Draco volunteered, heading off before he could be infected and damaged by the cuteness. His husband clearly had been since he was now slightly more insane than usual. He had to trudge up from the apparation barrier around the school but Hogwarts never really changed that much so he knew where he'd find his former mentor. He walked into his office, giving him a look. "Your half-brother is very much like his father. He just unstuck a vase containing an incubus and crawled around with it in his mouth."
Severus Snape got up and got a set of shot glasses and a snifter. "Brandy?"
"Please Merlin yes." He took his and sat down across from him. "They've got heirs for both of us there. The miniature me was napping in a house-elf bed." He took a drink. "The demon was complaining about baby drool."
Severus gulped his first drink and poured another, topping off his favorite student's glass too. "I'll be retired before that child comes here to start his education."
"Alex said he's starting him early so his sensing lessons come naturally." He gulped his drink and got a third. "He's off to brag to the others."
Severus shook his head. "I'll let the other Banes know." He touched his communication tattoo and sent that over, getting a lot of groans and a few toasts to the next great Cursebreaker Dumass. They all knew Alex having kids was a good reason to drink.
Alex landed in Tony's office, coming out of the elevator to look at him. "I have happy news," he said proudly. "They went with Grandma Des's plan to create a true heir. He's so like me!" He beamed. "He just manifested at the crawling age! He just unstuck a vase containing an incubus and crawled off with it in his mouth. I'm so proud!"
Tony looked at him then at Gibbs, who had his head down on his desk and shaking it, then back at his biological father. "You're strange."
"I know, cuteness warps you that way. I came to tell the future granddaughter-in-law."
"She's in the lab. Let me tell her," Tony said, calling down there. "It's us. Alex is here to share family news. No, they created a true heir to the line. He's here to brag." He hung up and looked at him again, leaning back some. "How did the little mini-you get created?"
"Grandma Des nagged me into giving her permission to take some sperm to have the baby created so I'd have an heir. That was before we found Sev and the rest of you but oh well. They did it and there's a mini-Draco too. He's napping in a puppy bed."
Tony smiled but shook his head. "I'm sure they're adorable, Alex. He's how old?"
"Crawling. However old that is. Though, I'm going to have to clean some of the things out of the manor house. There's a few things hidden in there that we don't want him to get into yet. Plus warn my mother before she warps him." He shrugged and squealed when he saw Abby, pouncing her for a hug, babbling at her. She squealed back and bounced with him.
"Too much noise," Gibbs complained, rubbing his forehead. Abby gave him a hug. "Thank you. Alex, go tell the other adopted sons?" He beamed and went to do that. He looked at Tony. "You're not allowed to breed, DiNozzo. Never."
"My kids would be normal, boss. Not little cursebreakers. After all, I'm not."
"You find just as much trouble," McGee reminded him dryly. "So, big brother, how does it feel?"
"Great! It means I don't have to deal with the library except for research times." He beamed at Abby. "I'm sure you could talk Harry into taking you over to see the little ones. There's a Draco clone too."
She hugged him. "Don't be jealous."
"I'm not. I'm thankful it's not my kid." She giggled and bounced off to share the good news with the others she knew who knew Alex. Tony shook his head. "My kids will never play with vases containing demons. No matter how old they are."
"You're still not allowed to breed, DiNozzo. Or the other two either," Gibbs said, glaring at him. "That way your offspring can't ruin the world."
"Kate said I'd have one, boss."
"She lied. No kids, DiNozzo."
"Thank you. Back to work." He took an aspirin and got back to work. He had to do something to take the image of a baby Alex sucking up to women and incubuses out of his head. Before it got stuck.
Speed and Danny looked up from their sundaes, frowning when Alex appeared. "Boss?" Speed called. Horatio and Mac came out of the kitchen with Eric. "Bad news?" he asked.
"They went with Grandma Des's plan to have heirs. There's a mini me." He beamed. "He manifested while I was there. He unstuck a vase containing an incubus and crawled around with it hanging out of his mouth. I'm so proud."
Danny looked at him then cast a full body bind, eating another bite of ice cream. "Let's detox him from the cuteness so he doesn't scare anyone but a goblin?"
Horatio and Speed both nodded. "That'll work," Mac agreed, working with them to detox whatever had infected Alex before he bounced and cooed over the baby some more. It wasn't normal Alex behavior. It had to be a drug or a hex. When they couldn't get it fully undone they sent him to his handler at Gringotts to deal with him. They could fix it since they couldn't.
Horatio looked at Speed. "If you ever have something that makes you bounce like that, we'll fix you too," he promised, patting him on the head.
"We'll even be nice and use anesthesia," Eric quipped, grinning at him.
"Thanks, man. I'm not looking forward to heirs at all." He finished his sundae and got up to get some more. It was a good day for chocolate, ice cream, and whipped cream. Danny came in to get some more too then went back to cuddling on the couch and checking on Tony.
Danny laughed. "Gibbs forbid Tony from having kids," he said happily.
"I can agree with that. They'd be just as bad." A book appeared on the table. "What is... ah, the one I asked to borrow." He picked it up to start reading it.
Danny read the title then grinned. "I didn't know we needed to read up on kinky things to do while naked."
Mac spluttered. "What?"
"Ritual magic using nighttime rituals," Speed explained. "Kinky shit you do while naked and either around a bonfire, under the moon, or in a room with candles and things drawn on the floor." He grinned. "Kinky things done while naked." He went back to reading.
Horatio took the book and put it down then pulled Speed up and back to the bedroom. "We'll be back once I get him clear of whatever infection Alex brought with him." Eric hurried to help; he loved to make Speed sane. It was a fun game. They never fully succeeded but it was fun to try. They closed the door.
Danny picked up the book to read to Speed while they got it on. It was a good read. Mac took it from him a few minutes later when Speed started to chant something, taking Danny to give him the same cure. Before he got more warped by whatever had infected Alex.
Aunt Cordy accepted her copy of the paper the next morning, frowning at the headline. "Goblins panic and set in motion emergency clauses to ensure future of cursebreakers and bank!" She handed it off with a small moan. "Tell me he didn't scare them about him teaching the baby everything he knows and then some?"
That aunt read it over, nodding slowly. "Yup and our little lunatic also threatened to turn other cursebreakers into him." She looked up. "They're making sure they survive long enough to get it out of their system since no one but him and his apprentices seem to be able to survive how he does things." She turned the page, going to the farm report. "The price of eggs is going up again."
Aunt Cordy sipped her tea. "We'll have to keep the boys from the babies. Before they really do turn into Alex and Draco."
"Too late," Alex's mother called, walking in with the mini Alex. She handed over the thing he had been carrying. "It's cursed to promote fertility and summon a demon to make you humongous."
"He'll be well-built like Alex is anyway," Nadia complained. "I swear, half the time poor Draco can't sit."
Alex's mother sat down with the baby. "Don't worry, sweetums, we'll make you a normal Dumass." The baby cackled and they all sighed in defeat. It was already too late. "Are we planning another one? Maybe a girl?"
"We can do that," Cordy agreed. The baby got put onto the floor and they watched him crawl outside, heading to a momma unicorn to pet and coo over, plus try to nurse on. She sighed in misery. "Alex did the same damn thing." The baby Draco made it out there before she realized it and latched on too, making the mother unicorn nuzzle them both. "Bellow when we can have them back please. They're still peoples and not 'corns." She went back to the table, lacing her tea and handing on the bottle. "This is all Des's fault, you realize that, right?"
Alex's mother took her own lace tea. "She was insistent that there be a baby Alex, even if we did find other heirs," she agreed. "Maybe we can get that nice Greg to make the next one a daughter that's truly Draco and Alex's? Draco's influence would make ours calm down."
"We can check," Nadia said, going to floo call him. She smiled at the happy man. "Is it possible to mix seed we have stored of Alex and Draco to make the next heir theirs so the Malfoy side calms down the Dumass side a bit?"
He nodded slowly. "Yes there is, but I'm not sure it'd calm them down. Remember, Draco's a consort veela. It's going to make it worse."
"Dear, the baby Alex said we could create already likes things that contain demons. He crawled out to nurse on the unicorns."
He nodded quicker this time. "I'll talk to someone who does that sort of work for you, Aunt Nadia. Give me a few days." He hung up and went outside to cackle so he wouldn't upset anyone in the lab. Nick came out and gave him an odd look so he smirked at him. "The aunts want to create a baby Alex and Draco by mixing them together. They're hoping Draco's side is going to calm down Alex's nature. The one they've already got of Alex likes demon infested things already."
Nick just nodded. "Your friends are weird, Greggo." He went back inside, going to find something to take that thought out of his head. Before it got stuck. It'd be a beautiful child but hell on the world. He ended up banging his head against a wall to erase the image of the dark eyed, blonde little girl with the perfect smile and sneer who was hell on a broom. He hated the spot visions he got.
Twelve years later, Professor Methos got called out to stop one of the children from beating the rest of them as they came off the boats. It was not starting off to be a happy year. The little blonde girl gave him such a sweet smile that he shuddered. He knew her. "No more picking on the boys."
"They're nasty and dirty, Uncle Methos," she purred, giving him a hug. "Besides, one pinched and one made fun of my hair." She glared at him. "I can do wandless magic too," she reminded him. He ran for the stairs to get away from her. She smiled at him. "I'll try to be a good girl."
"Try harder," he ordered, walking her inside. Poor Hagrid shouldn't have to deal with the Dumass children. The ones last year had been nearly as bad. The one with him squealed and ran over to hug her brothers then took her place in line again. He sat down, looking at Phillip. Then at Severus. Then at McGonagall. None of them had been allowed to retire before the kids had gotten there. The board was still being run by the Malfoy family and Narcissa wanted only the best teachers for her grandchildren. Especially this one. Even if she was going to make every single one of them alcoholics by the time she graduated.
Professor Armwrench blew in through a window and landed, dusting himself off. He looked at the boys, who smiled and waved. Then at the little girl. "I knew I got summoned for a reason." He walked up to the table, patting them all on the head. "I'll see you tomorrow after classes, children." He took his usual spot next to McGonagall with a smile. "Alex told me I had a new set of priests and a priestess."
She handed over the wine. "Indeed." The sorting hat nearly cried at her, it wasn't going to be an easy decision. It finally sent her to Gryffindor so she'd leave her brothers alone but it took it nearly an hour to make up its mind and it was tired afterward. The others got sorted more quickly and it went to a good, long, well deserved nap.
"Yes, I can see the energy rushes I'll have now," Armwrench sighed, sipping his wine. There were six other cursebreakers in the group. He looked at the charms teacher, getting a smile from Luna Lovegood. "There's six others."
"That's wonderful," she said happily. "Lots and lots of work for you so you're not bored and I don't get pregnant this year either."
He raised an eyebrow. "It was an idle threat to have Ethan knock you up, Luna. Your children would be worse than the Dumass children. Together." He went back to his wine. He'd need to stock up on some of the good stuff. The little girl was already proving herself the prank mistress of her generation. "I knew he shouldn't have named Tipsy a godmother," he muttered. McGonagall choked and gave him a horrified look. He nodded. "Her godfather is Speed."
"My poor house," she moaned, pouring more wine. Severus sent up the bottle from his end of the table. She looked at him. "Do the boys destroy your house?"
"I'm their brother," he reminded her dryly. "Though they're both miserable in my area. The old family homily about Snapes being good in potions and Dumasses in Defense is true for this generation as well," he sighed, sipping his wine. "This new one is no different and the next daughter isn't either."
"There's another?" Armwrench demanded, giving him a horrified look.
Severus took a large gulp. "When Draco was drugged on that assignment, he did that blasted and loathsome spell then slept with his husband. She's coming in three years."
"My sister Emily is amazing and just like her daddy," perfect little Draconia called up with a bright smile. "She's on a dig this month too!" Armwrench added more wine to his glass and drained it. She giggled and looked at her housemates. "I'm a direct conduit back to 3W," she said proudly. "Aunt Tipsy's my godmother." They adored her for that. It was good to have a new Dumass/Weasley/Malfoy child in the house. It'd been too long since there'd been any of those in the house.
It was going to be so much fun at Hogwarts for the next few years. No one would ever be bored again!