Xander smiled at the insane vampire standing a few feet away from him. "She's only here in case you wig and try to hurt me." He stuck his hands in his pockets. "So, who was he?"

"He was you and you were him." She smiled. "He's been talking to Miss Edith again and feeding her too. It's funny how she's never hungry when I feed her, but when Spike does she always eats." She floated over to the picnic table. "You found him?"

"Well, we found some pictures and some furniture and some books and things. Who's is it?"

"It's yours now. It was theirs, my sire's and my loves' but they don't need it anymore." She shrugged. "They shared it with their feeder at the time. I wasn't welcome so I only saw him a few times." She dragged a sharp nail down the side of Xander's face. "So pretty he was. Just like you are." Buffy started to growl, making her back up some. "Well, he is."

Xander smiled. "Thanks, but that's not why we're here. I need answers Dru and you're the only one that can give them. Now, I only need to know a few things."

"Didn't you find the diary? I know Spike and his little boy both kept one." She licked her lips. "He was so young and tasty."

Buffy grimaced. "Dru, he wasn't that young."

"Sixteen summers. They both loved him. That was the other time Spike left me, over a pretty little child of a man." She touched Xander's face again. "You're so much like him. He was a good one too."

Buffy shook her head. "Xan, we can't get it out of her."

Xander leaned closer to the vampire. "Tell me about it," he whispered. "I saw the pictures." He smiled cutely and helplessly. "Please?"

"It'd torment you," she purred. "Oh, all right. The wind whispers to me, it says it's all right to tell you their secrets. He was their feeder, their lover. He enticed both of them from my side, made them leave me alone for almost three years. He was so yummy, so innocent but so unclean at the same time." She licked her lips again. "He was their favorite, their dirty little secret."

Buffy got up to move closer. "They *both* had him? Spike and Angel?"

Dru nodded. "They enjoyed him immensely. When that painter came along, Spike killed his mate so he had to stay too. He made such pretty pictures of them." She closed her eyes. "All soft and angelic looking, just the glow was enough to burn you," she said dreamily.

"So, who was he?"

"He? Oh, he was a Paul. Or something like that." She ran her nails over the back of Xander's hand. "I could've treated you better, not going off like that." She smiled. "If you would let me, I'd tell you more."

Buffy stepped up to put her arm around Xander's waist. "Mine," she said.

Dru pouted but the Slayer didn't relent. "Oh, pooh. You're no fun tonight." She pouted for a minute more. "But it's his now and you can't have it." She started to get up, but the young man stopped her.

"If you want anything, you need to get it in the next few days. I'm going to have it moved and probably sold."

She shook her head. "The only thing there for me is a picture of me and Miss Edith the day she came to live with us. But it gives me nightmares." She slapped the side of her head. "I'm not the blood sucker out tonight, always a good sign." She looked at the pair. "Guard him well. Spike made me leave him alone but not everyone else." She disappeared into the shadows.

Buffy looked over as she smoothed out a fly-away strand of hair. "Home?"

"Yeah, yours. Giles moved all the books there because he found a leak." He got down off the picnic table, wrapping a strong arm around her waist. "Thanks for coming with me."

"I couldn't let her eat you." She smiled before tweaking his cheek. "And you shouldn't offer what you can't give."

They went back to her car, going to Joyce's and Giles. Buffy unlocked the kitchen door, flipping on the lights as they walked in. "Guess they're not home," she said. "Library?" He nodded so they headed to the newly constructed library, where a bunch of boxes now sat. She hopped up on top of the study table to pull one over to her. "A diary?"

"Yeah, a diary."

Giles cleared his throat from the doorway. "I'm sure you know how to use a phone by now." He pulled the box away from her. "It can wait."

"No, it can't," Xander said from where he was squatting in between two stacks of boxes, looking into each box in turn. "I want to know."

Giles gave a pointed look at his almost step-daughter, telling her that he didn't want to know, at least not yet. "I think it would be better if I researched some more of the history involved first."

Xander stood up to frown at him. "This is my life here, not a research paper. I want that diary, you can have it after I get my answers." He put his hands on his hips.

Joyce walked in, tossing it over to him. "We were reading it upstairs and he's right, you don't want to know." She walked in, patting her daughter on the head in passing. "Xander, listen to me in this, it's not pretty."

Giles sat down in his desk chair with a sigh. "The artist was wandering after the loss of his love. He came upon them and wrote extensively about it." He rubbed his tired eyes. "Take my word on it, it'll only disquiet you. Leave it for now. Let me find out more and I'll tell you."

"Everything?"

"Most assuredly. Right after I figure out how to break some of it to you." The younger man clutched the diary to his chest. "Leave it, it's the most comprehensive bit about their lives." Xander nodded, heading back toward the car after delicately handing it to Joyce.

Buffy looked at her parents, original and the newer model. "Who was the Watcher? The artist?" Giles nodded. "And that was one of the slayers Spike killed?"

Giles nodded again, tired. "Yes, he did. She came looking for him and they fought. He won. They made the Watcher stay to be with them to entertain them." He patted the top of the diary. "Other than that, it's very disturbing."

Buffy picked up the slim novel, flipping around it some. "This is Angel's," she said quietly. "I recognize the handwriting." She looked up. "It wasn't just Spike then?"

"No, I'm sorry," he said softly. He got up, coming over to hug her. "I'll tell you the whole story soon."

The elder Slayer got up and went back to her car, getting in and looking around for her friend. She pulled out, going slow. She met up with him almost a block from her mother's house. "Hey handsome, want a ride?"

He shook his head, grinning at the innuendo. "Not really." His mirth vanished. "I just really want to think right now." He patted the suspicious bulge in his jacket. "I've got one so I'm fine."

Buffy nodded, pulling away, sure he could handle it on his own by now. Xander walked toward the park across from his house, prime feeding ground. He ran into Dru right where he thought she would be. "Hey," he said, staking a man he used to go to school with. "Feeding's been done now for hours."

She snarled at him but dropped the teen girl she held. She walked over to where he had stationed himself on a bench. "Back again?"

"Who was he really?"

"Martin Abershome. He was a tasty young mortal that was fascinated with us. He wanted to write about us so they taught him things while they used him up." She licked over her fangs. "That was mean of you, love."

He shuddered. "Don't say it like that, you sound like him."

She pouted. "Isn't that good?" He shook his head. "Fine, I won't." She patted his leg, but then started to rub the firm muscles she found there. "So strong and good, and you're tasty I know. He told me about you, yes he did. All about you when he couldn't have you anymore."

Xander shook his head. "Was he in love with the guy? Him and Angel both?"

Dru thought about it. "If they had all been mortals, I suppose so," she said finally. "He loved them at least and they both were passionate about him and jealous of each other." She looked up at him. "Why?"

"Because it's creepy how much we looked alike, then adding Angelus in on top of that too, well, let's just say it's creepy and leave it there." He started to get up, but grabbed one of her hands, scratching over the back of his hand hard. "Here, you deserve it, but not too much." She licked at it greedily, making little slurping noises until he pulled it away. "Enough, go home and talk to Miss Edith. I'm sure she has much to whisper to you." He walked away, wiping the back of his hand on his jeans.

Dru watched him go, pouting. "Tasty, just like the other one. No wonder they both wanted him so bad." She got up, heading back to her cohorts. "Come on, we've got to catch some food."

' ' ' '

Xander walked back into the apartment and stopped, watching them all watch him. "What?" he asked the gathered threesome. "I'm fine."

Buffy looked at his hand with a sigh. "Come on, I'll clean it for you." She pulled him past the fuzzy being and Willow, shutting the bathroom door soundly. "Do you know how stupid that was? What if she had been really hungry?"

He shook his head. "A free sip like that's nirvana to them, and she told me tons more." He sat on the edge of the sink, watching as she cleaned and bandaged it. "It was a calculated risk at best and a reward for being lucent at worst."

She shook her head. "Okay, done." She stopped him from moving, stepped a little closer. "He's not forgotten," she said quietly. "He's still ignoring her."

Xander shook his head, walking out to sit on the futon beside a morose Willow. "Nice night?"

The younger woman sniffled, shaking her head. "He hates me in this form too." She got up, heading for the bedroom.

Oz's head came up but he didn't try to follow her like he usually did. He did come over to sniff at Xander's lap and lick his injured hand, but nothing more. He went back to his bed made under their Christmas presents to the younger man, settling down onto the pillows. He sniffed the air a few times but didn't move.

Buffy came out shaking her head. "She's crying now. I'm going to go stay with her for a while. Right after I get a drink."

Xander flipped on the tv, sitting back to relax. He patted the futon beside him, bringing Oz running to leap up and lay beside him. They came to a silent agreement on what to watch and relaxed together.

Buffy walked back into the bedroom, shaking her head at the antics of the two guys.

' ' ' '

Oz slowly got dressed, looking around the silent apartment. No one was up yet but that was a good thing. He poured himself a glass of juice, sitting down on one of the futons, not wanting to disturb Xander on the joined sleeper sofas. He drank slowly, trying to figure out what to do about Willow. He knew she meant well, but there was more to it than that. She had *researched* him, trying to figure out exactly how she could do that to him and not have problems. Did she want him that much, all the closeness he couldn't give her because of the werewolf thing, or was it just the desire to not use condoms? He knew she had been on the pill for almost a year now, and that was cool with him, but if this was the first step towards a 'if it happens' moment, he wasn't going to play along. What did he want?

Well, he wanted her still. That much was a definite. He clearly remembered her face last night when she ran crying into the bathroom, listening to the sobs almost tore him apart. He couldn't go through another night like that. Maybe they could get some personal time today while everyone was at school.

Xander's alarm went off so the younger man stumbled into the kitchen to put on the coffee. Oz stopped him, turning him around, pushing him toward the bedroom and the bathroom. He got a grunt and a pat on the arm in thanks for it. He poured the stuff for coffee, measuring carefully to get it right. Xander came back out a few minutes later, dripping wet as he crawled back into bed.

Oz smiled, going over to pull the blanket and sheet off him, tossing them in a ball on the futon. "Sleepy time's gone, Xan. Time to get up."

Xander raised one of his arms, patting the bed beside him with the other. "Cuddle?" he asked sleepily.

Oz debated it with himself for an instant and an eternity. He decided the younger man was probably lucent enough to know what he was doing so he crawled in beside him, the arm held aloft coming down hard across his waist. "Morning."

"Hi," Xander said, blinking just a little. "You okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." He laid a gentle hand on the side of the younger man's face, patting it gently. "You should be getting dressed for school."

Xander yawned, mouth opening wide. "None today, federal holiday." He smiled as he laid his head on Oz's shoulder. "Remembered it in the shower."

The older man knocked down the calendar on the bookshelves, flipping to today. "Um, the federal holiday was yesterday."

"It's Tuesday."

"No, it's not. It's yesterday."

"I went to school yesterday, it's today." He handed over the phone. "Call them if you don't believe me."

Oz dialed the Tech Center's number, waiting for the secretary to pick up. When no one did, he looked down at his watch. "She's not in yet."

"It's seven-thirty. She's always in by now." He yawned again, snuggling down into Oz's neck, burying his nose in the warm flesh. "Told ya so."

Buffy's alarm went off and they could both hear the groan in the other room. Pretty soon she came out dragging her sheet, which was wrapped around her wet body, as she headed to the coffeepot. She poured a cup, coming to sit on the bottom of the two guy's bed. "So," she said, taking a sip, "it's Wednesday. Shouldn't he be up?"

"He thinks it's a federal holiday that they get off." He dialed the phone again but still didn't get an answer. "Still no answer at the Tech Center. Is it?"

Xander nodded but Buffy shook her head. "Nope," she said, "that was yesterday." She patted the younger man's feet. "You got to get up."

"Go away, evil woman you." He kicked at her, making her smile and laugh. He pulled his face out of it's warm cocoon of flesh enough to glare at her with one eye. "Mean, cruel woman." He hid his face again. "Trying to get me to go to school when it's my day off. The nerve," he muttered.

Buffy blocked it out, knowing it pre-caffeine Xander talking. "Okay, suit yourself." She smiled at Oz, rolling her eyes before going back into the bedroom to get ready for her classes. Even if the Tech Center got the day off, the college didn't. She came back out, fully dressed and more ready for the day. "Remind me when I pre-register this time not to do another 8am." She walked out, grabbing her backpack, then left them alone.

Oz checked his watch before dialing the number again, still not getting an answer. "There should be someone there, holiday or not." He tried the classroom number, but still not an answer. "Come on, get up," he said as he hung up. "Come on, I want to go see if it is or not and you can go to the ATM and buy me breakfast."

Xander wandered into the bedroom, coming back out dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. "I'm cleaning this place later," he vowed sleepily, yawning as he made it back to Oz. "You're driving."

"Well I don't want to let you, not while you're still almost asleep, so I'd better." He grabbed his keys and they walked out the door. "Besides, your car's in the shop."

***

Oz stopped in front of the Tech Center, looking at all the cars sitting there. He pulled in slowly, parking and turning off Willow's car.

"You know," a mostly awake now Xander remarked, "I know what this place is and I know I don't have to be here today."

Oz pointed at the cars in the lot and the dry spots under them. "It rained last night."

Xander nodded, still not getting it through his sleep fogged brain. "Yeah?"

"They've been here all night," Oz prompted.

Xander spit his coffee out on the dash. "Shit." He got out, fighting briefly with the seatbelt, then ran toward the administration building. He stopped when he got to the door, noticing it was partly off it's hinges. "Oz, man, call someone." He used the bottom of his shirt to open it, going inside.

Oz took out his cellphone to dial the cops. "Hi, I'm at the Tech Center and there's something really strange going on here. There are cars still parked here from last night and the entrance door's off its hinges." He looked up as the younger man came out, to throw up mainly, and covered the receiver. "Bad?"

Xander reached a hand out for the phone. "Hi, this is a student at the Tech Center and there are bodies all over in there, blood too." He hung up, retching some more.

Oz steadied him, holding him up. He moved him out of the way of the cops, who came in with lights and sirens. One of them stayed to help him.

"He went in?"

Xander nodded as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah, I didn't touch anything though. I used my shirt when I pushed open the door." He sat down on the concrete walkway. "It was supposed to be a holiday."

The officer nodded. "Yeah, it was." She squatted down in front of him. "What did you see?"

"Huge puddles of blood." He looked at the bottom of his shoes. "I don't think I stepped in any of it or anything." She tapped his arm to bring him back. "Huh?"

"Why did you go in?"

"Because I needed to." Oz tapped him on the shoulder.

"He's a student here so knows most of those people. He's also barely awake. He got this real panicked look before he ran inside." He shrugged. "I'm the one that called, his was the second voice."

She nodded then wrote some things down on her notepad. "Okay, so which program are you in?"

"Electronics," he pointed out the small building on the other side of the parking lot. "We're in there." He ran a hand through his hair.

Oz pointed at the cars. "Most of them are dry underneath," he said. "That's what made me pull in. We were trying to figure out if there was school or not so we pulled out this way."

A few more officers pulled in and rushed inside, including one not in uniform. She frowned at him but went back to questioning them. "And you are?"

"His roommate. Oz." They shook hands. "He was determined that it was a holiday this morning so I brought him out to make sure." He shrugged. "Not a big."

She smiled. "It is. My daughter's in the Junior high. They decided to celebrate the holiday a day late this time because of Teacher Conference tomorrow." She shrugged. "Two days off in a row instead of a day in between." She asked for their driver's licences and got Oz's, Xander had left everything but his bank card at home. "Okay, you can go home. We'll call you if we need to talk to you." She patted Oz's shoulder. "Good thinking, but next time don't let him go in." She walked inside, only to be pushed aside by the plain clothed officer, who came out to throw up. "Weakling," she muttered as she walked past him.

Oz pulled Xander up and they headed back to the car. He made sure the younger man picked up everything that had fallen out of the car before getting in, not wanting to be accused of doing it due to a little slip of paper or the coffeecup. They drove in silence back to the apartment, pulling into the space and going upstairs to face Willow.

"Bad kill zone at the Tech Center," Oz said. He pushed the still slightly green young man onto a couch. "He went inside."

She shook her head. "Not bright. What if they decide he did it?" She patted Xan's shoulder. "Are you all right?"

He nodded, still not talking.

"It must have been that bad," Oz said. "One of the officers came out to throw up while we were leaving." He handed over the can of Sprite. "Drink, it'll make your stomach feel better."

Xander took it, drinking it without a protest.

Willow pulled her fiancee aside. "Does he go into that state often? I've never seen it."

"Um, Christmas party was the last one I knew of. He did that downstairs while he was petting Fuzzy." He smiled at the small scratching on the door. "Speaking of her." He let her, and her human, in. "He's fine. Just an upset tummy." He pulled the manager aside. "Blood bath at the Tech Center and he went in to see it."

The older man nodded. "I just noticed the police outside, they're looking for him." He patted Oz's arm. "Not bad, I'm sure, but still." He stepped out of the doorway as the two officers came up the stairs.

"Hello, is Alexander here?" she said. It was the same officer that had questioned them earlier. Oz pointed so they went over to him, talking quietly for a few minutes. She took his shoes then came back over. "We have an unidentified footprint, but we're sure it's not his so we're eliminating him." She shrugged. "Saves time and he should have it back later today." She left again. "Oh," she said, sticking her head back around the door. "Don't give details if you would. It could screw up our getting the sicko by getting back to whoever did this." She disappeared down the stairs again, her partner following.

Willow walked over to where Xander was laying down, absently petting the cat on his stomach. "Are you okay?" He nodded. "Okay, we just wanted to make sure."

The manager leaned over the back of the couch. "Did you know any of them?" Xander nodded. "Your teacher?" He shook his head. "Students?"

Xander opened his eyes. "Yeah, a few that I usually have breakfast with. They're in the food preparation classes." He rubbed over his forehead. "There was blood everywhere, the bodies laying there like they had been dropped, multiple cuts on all of them. This wasn't one of them," he said. "At least I didn't see any bites."

Giles knocked on the door. "A very nice officer that used to go to school with you called me, remembering correctly that you used to help me all the time. What happened?" He frowned down at the cat. "That bad?"

"Tech Center's awash with blood," Xander said. "I saw it." He rolled off the futon, taking the cat with him. "We're going to go soak if that's not a problem."

Everyone made agreeing noises. Giles looked at the manager. "Was it the vampire community?"

"I wouldn't know but he said it wasn't them. I'm assuming by now he would know." The older man shrugged before patting both Oz's and Willow's cheeks. "Quit fighting, you were meant to be." He left the apartment, sure his cat was in good hands still.

Giles sat down on the edge of the still joined sofa beds. "Why did he go in?"

"Because I didn't stop him fast enough," Oz said. He sat down a little father back, crossing his legs. "He went in while I called the cops."

Willow sighed, heading for the bathroom, but Giles stopped her. "I do believe he wants to be alone and I need to talk to you both anyway." He pulled out the diary, handing it to Oz. "Most disturbing, that is." He cleared his throat, but Oz pointed at the wall, shaking his head. "Ah, I see. Well the 411, as Buffy would say, is not good. He was a writer, dreaming of becoming one anyway. He went looking for something to make his name and ran into Spike, who was stopped from eating him by Angel. It seems he had just gained his soul and was still fighting it. They took him to the desert, and their abode, where he begged them to help him with his dream. They did and it turned into one of ..." He looked around as he lowered his voice. "One of the greater obsessions either one had ever had." He leaned closer. "He was claimed as Spike's but they both shared him; Angel got routinely jealous of them. He would constantly interrupt them," he cleared his throat but Oz laid a hand on his arm to tell him he didn't have to elaborate," and take over. They shared him as some sort of prize, much as they did Drusilla, who killed him. She got jealous that her love and her sire were fighting over a man/child, as she put it, so did away with their 'toy like a good mother'." He shrugged. "Not a pretty picture. In the end, Spike tried to turn him but he was too far gone to come across. She had stabbed him, drinking at the wound, but didn't pass any of her own along at the same time."

"She was determined that they would lose him forever," Willow said. She shook her head. "I never imagined either one of them being that passionate."

Oz shook his head. "Until Xander came along, then Spike went straight and Angelus came back with the old jealousy. Hence the flowers and book of poetry I never showed him."

"Or the candy I never gave him because I saw who it was from." She looked up as Buffy walked through the door. "Or the bracelet and necklace he sent that she found."

Buffy frowned. "I thought it was something of Spike's so I hid it. What was in that candy anyway?" Willow shuddered. "I don't want to know, do I?"

Willow shook her head. "It's better left in the trash."

Oz looked around the room. "He'll want to know."

"That's why you have the book. You all know best what to tell him. I'd wait though, with everything else going on." He looked up at his Slayer. "What happened to your class?"

"Test and I cakewalked it. Too easy." She sat down, touching the edge of the diary. "Was that the only one?"

"No, I'm afraid not. That one's not Angel's, both your mother and I decided that would be a bit much for him right now." He looked around. "At least he's not facing this alone."

Oz nodded, climbing over the back of a sofa to head for the bathroom. He knocked on the door and went in, smiling at the picture of Xander laying down with a slightly damp cat sitting on his chest in the bathtub. "Want to talk?" The younger man nodded, picking up the cat to sit up some. "No, stay comfortable. You've earned it." He sat down beside the tub, moving the bathmat so he wouldn't sit on the cold tiles. "Do you really want to know about the pictures?" He tapped the diary on the toilet lid. Xander bit his lip, but nodded anyway, stroking the cat lovingly.

"Okay, here's the truth. He was a writer."

"Martin Abershome," he said. "I talked to Dru after Buffy came home last night."

"That's what happened to your hand?" He touched the bandage lovingly. "Did you have to kill her?"

"No, it was a reward for being lucent." He took off the bandage. "Just a scratch to the skin. A few drops really."

Oz shook his head. "You play dangerous games, my friend." He replaced the white cotton, resticking the old tape. "Ready?"

"I heard most of it. Someone really ought to tell him that his voice carries very well." Xander shifted some, earning him a few nails in his chest. "Ow, Fuzzy." He petted her gently. "Sorry, I'm not going to dump you in the water." He smiled over at Oz. "Is there anything in there that says why they were obsessed?"

Oz shrugged. "I haven't read it yet. Would you like me to?"

Xander thought about it for a long time but ended up shaking his head. "No, I'll do it. After all, it's my life." He pointed at the top of the toilet. "Just drop it up there, I'll get it when I get out."

Oz scratched behind the cat's ears. "You staying in?" Xander nodded. "Want to be alone?" He nodded again. "Okay, if you need me I'll be here for about another hour before class then I'll be here until I change tonight." He checked in the medicine cabinet to make sure he had pills. "Yup, still have enough for a few more months. Yell if you need one of us."

"Do they leave this afternoon?" Xander asked quietly.

Oz mentally ticked off everyone else's schedule in his head. "Yeah, we're all gone for almost three hours. Why?"

"I wanted to watch that tape alone." He shrugged as he slid a little lower. "I'll understand if you don't want to be in here, Fuzzy." He smiled as the cat jumped to the toilet. "Oh, yeah, could you please pick me up some batteries? Double A's?"

"Sure, where's the money?"

"Still in Will's car I'd guess. I didn't see it on the ground when we left and I didn't carry it up."

Oz nodded, going out to where only Buffy was, in the kitchen. "You're dangerous in here. Let me."

She held up the coffee pot. "Just making caffeine. Chill. I'm not going to try to cook." She smiled over her shoulder, going back to what she had been doing. "Giles invited us over tonight for supper." She turned back around, leaning against the counter. "Lasagne and the cage is set up if we need it."

"Okay. I don't think he'll be up to eating much though. He's pretty well morose right now."

She smiled. "You're sounding like her now." She walked over to where he was sitting. "Want to talk about it? The you and Willow and the unprotected thing?"

He frowned, but ended up telling her everything. They sat there talking for a few hours, him working it out, her supporting his position but explaining why she did it. By the time they were done, the coffee was ruined and Xander was out of the tub and taking a nap with the cat. They straightened up the apartment before she headed out for afternoon classes.

Oz sighed as he sat down on the futon, still having over an hour before he had to leave, staring at the tv, even though it was off. "Why us?" he asked it. "Why does all the strange crap happen to us?" He threw up his arms and grabbed his guitar from the bedroom, going over to the park to play in the sun for a while.

' ' ' '

Xander woke up when the bedroom door closed, snorting and rubbing his eyes with the tip of the cat's tail that was in his hand. He dropped it, patting the top of her head before going out to grab that tape, wanting and needing to know now what had happened that first night. He popped it into the machine, flipping on the tv on and starting the tape. He watched as Spike took him, something he already had guessed at, but the image did nothing for him now. He watched as an unknown vampire took him, the sight of him doing nothing for him either. Then the last person stepped up and it was very apparent who it was.

"Angel," he hissed. He watched the small smile come over the handsome face, by no means tender or nice, then watched as he was taken hard. He didn't remember that, but he had still been coming down from the sounds he was making on the tape. All he really remembered of that third one was the hard bite at the end. He watched as Angel's face changed well before it was time, something that hadn't happened with Spike or the other guy. He could see how rough the old vampire had been with him. He shuddered at the sound and look of unholy glee the vampire was taking with his body, the contents of his stomach starting to run around. He tried to watch the last few seconds but ended up running into the bathroom before it was done. He threw up all the bile that was sitting in his stomach, aching but needing the pain to cleanse the pictures from his mind. Then he heard the bad thing happen. Buffy came in. "Turn the tv off and don't look at it," he yelled in between heaves.

She did as she was told then walked in with a can of ginger ale. "You all right?" He nodded, sipping on the sour liquid. "Okay. So, what was on the tape that you didn't want me to see?" She leaned against the door as he started to dry heave again. "Okay, it must be that bad, I'll take the tape out and drop it on top of the dresser." He shook his head. "Okay, so I won't." She stroked over his sweaty hair. "You're sure you're all right?"

He nodded before tearing off some toilet paper to wipe his mouth. "Yeah, thanks." He sat back against the tub. "It just hit me, that's all." He looked up at her, curiosity shining through her every pore. "You've got to promise me to not ever watch that tape." She nodded. "I mean it. Promise me." She crossed her heart and held up three fingers. "You weren't a boy scout." She changed it to two with a grin. "You were a girl scout?"

"Long time ago but yeah. It was the popular thing to be in Junior high." She sat down on the floor looking him over. "What was it?"

"My first time tape." She nodded wisely. "There are some things on there that I don't want you to see and I think that it'd hurt you too much to watch."

She leaned over, kissing his cheek. "Okay, but we've got to get some new tapes soon. I've watched all the others, they're getting stale."

He smiled, then started to laugh. "Tell you what. Tomorrow, after school, I'll take you and Oz out there so you can each get some stuff."

She smiled as she stood up, her skirt riding up some. "Oops," she said, pulling it back down. She walked out of the room, blushing but he was anything but embarrassed.

"Ooooooooh, nice," he whispered. "Well, I guess I was right, I'm bi." He finished off the ginger ale then crushed the can, getting up and heading out to the bedroom.

' ' ' '

Buffy was like a little kid in the candy store. She was looking at each display in awe, running her hand over the boxes. Xander and Oz looked at each other, big grin on the younger man's face as he went up to the counter, bringing the tapes and books they had used well over the last month.

"Hey, Nick," he called. The young cashier popped his head out of the office. "Ready for more."

The other guy walked out, carrying a receipt book. "That's cool. I see that you brought your friends too." He smiled and shook his head at the delighted squeal Buffy had just let loose. "Roommates?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, both of them." He looked around the otherwise empty store. "Business bad?"

"Nah, you know you keep it going." He wrote down the numbers for the items. "Okay, you know the drill." He passed the book over, watching as Xander signed it. "You can get three used tapes and a few books on it this time." He leaned on the counter to watch the young man go. "Such a waste of potential," he whispered. "But I guess he's happy."

Buffy was entranced by the videos so Xander helped Oz pick out books and magazines. He looked over at the young woman, who was reverently touching a few that were turned around to show scenes. "She's got it bad," he whispered.

Oz went over to help her, shaking his head at the reverent look she was giving the decorated cardboard. "Hey, find a few?"

She nodded as she bit her lip. "But if I get what I want then I have to go without our shopping trip this time." She looked longingly at one and brushed her hand over the back of the box. "So nice," she whispered.

Oz grabbed it and a few more that he thought Xander would like, dragging her over to where the younger man was in the books. "We like these."

The younger man looked at the titles. "We've seen those two." He picked up a book with a smile, tossing it to her. "You'll like this one. It was one of the first I read and it was hot." She almost drooled on the shrink wrapping.

Oz came back with a few more, showing them to Buffy first, making her nod in complete happiness. He showed them to Xander, who frowned then went to get one that he had wanted the last time, taking one of them back. Buffy took it from his hand, holding it to her chest with the book.

Oz shook his head. "Well, I know where all you're living allowance is going," he told her. She pouted briefly but couldn't be brought out of her happy mood. He helped Xander pick out a few pictorial magazines before they headed for the checkout.

Buffy reluctantly handed over her two items, watching as they were rung up. She turned to look around the large room, seeing all the stuff she had only dreamed of. "Man," she said. "I'd kill to work here." She was tapped on the arm and handed an application. "Really?"

"Yeah, we're looking for office people."

"I'm an accounting major," she said happily. The guys waited while she filled out her form and then they all left together, letting her hold the stuff.

' ' ' '

Willow smiled as she was told the story of Buffy in the porn store by her boyfriend. She gently held his hand across the table and nodded at all the right places while he talked. "I bet she's happy." She looked around at the squeal from the other end of the room. Buffy was over there eating with her other friends and study-buddies. "And I'm guessing that she got the job too."

"Giles'll be so proud," Oz said, grinning. "You know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Willow misted up. "But it was my fault, I did it. I should have at least asked or shown you my results first." She leaned across the table, stealing a kiss. "I'm sorry."

"Then we're both sorry and everything's cool." He squeezed her hand. "Should we go congratulate her?"

Willow looked over her shoulder. "Nah, we'll do it later." She picked up a fry, feeding it to Oz. "I like Friday's. We do this lunch thing very well."

' ' ' '

Xander looked up as the rest of the gang walked through the door. "I see they found you." He smiled. "And from the tolerant smiles, I'd say you got it."

Buffy *hopped* over to hug him, sitting in his lap. "Three days a week, four hours a day, to do their books. I'll get paid just above minimum wage, all in cash, and he said it was okay if I got a discount."

Xander shook his head. "You're way wrapped in that store." He kissed the top of her head, then pushed her off his lap. "Go, you naughty girl you, I've got to finish this and get it in so I can prove that I can graduate." He bent back over his drawing. "Then, if it's okay, then we might have something new in your arsenal." Oz pulled both young women into the bedroom. "And no sex noises please! I can't concentrate when Willow's chanting your name," he yelled. His answer was a rash of giggling.

Oz shut the door, shaking as he took off t-shirt. "Well, I'd say this called for a celebration. Why don't you pop in a tape and we'll watch while he draws stuff?" He laid down in between them with a sigh. "Ah, heaven."

Willow smiled, stroking his chest. "You're just as bad as she is."

"And you're not?" He looked over to see the grin that meant he wasn't going to be able to walk later. "Oh, no. Attack her. I'm tired."

"Then you're in the wrong spot," Buffy pointed out as she came back to the huge bed. She turned on the tv, adjusting the volume, and started the tape. "I'd move," she promised.

"Best seat in the house," he said. "Besides, I might claim her as mine too." He winked. "Or I might watch." Buffy started to blush. "Does that bother you?"

The young woman paused the tape to think about it. "Nope," she said finally. "I think I'd like that."

Xander stuck his head in the door. "Just keep it down. I really can't get this done with sex noises." He closed the door again, prompting another rash of laughter. "I mean it," he yelled.

The tape restarted, the pause limit used up. They all got comfortable, both women laying their heads on the young man's chest. He stroked through their long hair as they watched, holding hands.

By the time the three guys were undressed, both girls were purring. By the first entry, Buffy was minus some panties. Willow was licking over Oz's chest, nipping at the firm skin and muscles. By the switching point, Buffy was moaning quietly into his chest, watching with one eye as she fought off her desires.

"Give into it," Willow whispered. "Do it."

Buffy looked up, flushed. "I can't. It doesn't work when I do it."

"Start and we'll finish it for you," Oz promised.

Buffy got back into the film, not having to hide it anymore. She ignored the shy glances she got from the couple, touching her breasts gently, happy in her watching. She gently started to work her body in time with those up on the screen, helped along by a helpful hand every now and then on her breasts.

Willow grabbed a kiss, moving to lay on top of her man. "How do you feel about this," she whispered in his ear. He growled at her, grabbing her hips to grind up into them. "Oh, like that?" She licked over the shell of his ear, nipping delicately on the lobe. "What would you like?"

He pushed her off, on top of Buffy, so he could strip out of his jeans. "We're wearing too many clothes," he whispered.

Willow agreed, doing her part to help with that problem. Buffy didn't have one, she was naked already, making little mewling noises in delight. The redhead leaned down for a taste of the sweaty flesh. "Nice," she whispered. Oz grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back on top of him, brushing over her in all the good places. She was humming happily when the blond broke in between them for a kiss, taking each of their mouths like she owned them. Willow pulled Buffy over Oz's chest, in front of her, then proceeded to do what she knew was liked.

Oz groaned, reaching down to help his girlfriend. They brought the blond off, her happy screams muffled by his chest, then he rolled them both off him so he could indulge in his habit of tasting things. Willow groaned, touching herself as she watched it all happen, not expecting Buffy to pull her over and to reciprocate, something she hadn't done before. Oz decided to sit back and watch, happy in his diminished role for now. "Man," he whispered.

Willow yelled, happy now, and fell back into his arms. "Uuuummmmm," she sighed. "More?"

Oz laughed, tossing her back to the mattress, taking her easily and hard. "Oh, is this what you wanted?" He looked back to see Buffy moving around for a better view. "Come here." He patted the bed beside them. The other woman gladly laid where she was told, watching avidly as Oz did his boyfriendly duty to his Willow.

They were shocked out of it, some, by the avalanche of ice cubes but not enough. Xander left them alone, a groan coming to the surface, heading into the bathroom. He shut the door and found some of his stuff, wanting to be in there with them but not enough to actually be there and get hurt. He groaned again as the mutual yells of Oz and Willow sounded, then the slurping sounds that came through the thin door. Buffy's yell brought him to his feet, making him turn on the shower and climb into the warm water.

His own yell almost woke the others, but they were way too engrossed in their happies to really hear him. He dried off slowly, enjoying the rough material of the towel, then dried off his toy before putting it back. He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out, to meet the tired eyes of Oz watching him. The bed was patted, but he declined, going back to his drawings. "Soon," the older man said, "Very soon," but Xander ignored him, going back to what he was supposed to be doing.

' ' ' '

Xander sat the food down in the middle of the table, sitting with a tired sigh. "What? No dinner conversation?" He looked around. "Didn't enjoy it enough?"

Buffy choked on her water. "Sorry, and no. We've already talked about it. We're fine. And those ice cubes were cold."

Willow smiled. "Since we didn't get them off before they melted so we ought to make you sleep on the wet bed."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Xander muttered under his breath. "Eat before it get's cold. Oz, don't forget class tonight."

"Yes, mother," the other three chimed in.

Xander frowned but took a bite of his home-made stir fry. "And you're an ungrateful lot too. Don't know why I ever had you three."

Buffy and Willow started to laugh, grabbing each other for support. The two men just watched them, not getting the level of humor that brought it out. They continued to eat in silence, watching each other without wanting it to be known.

Finally, Oz couldn't take it anymore. "Those ice cubes were mean."

"I asked you to be quiet so I could work." The younger man shrugged. "What did you want? A high pressure hose?"

Oz shook his head. "Why didn't you come nap with us? I offered and there was plenty of room; you wouldn't have even had to lay beside us." He put down his fork. "Are we that disgusting to you?"

Xander put down his fork quietly. "No, I just didn't want to and I had other things that needed to be done." He shrugged. "It's not like I had boffed myself into a nap the way you three had, I came out here to finish my work so I can hand it in tomorrow to see if it's a viable idea." He picked back up his fork. "Anything else?" he asked before taking a bite.

"Why the shower?" Willow asked. "We all knew what you were doing?"

He grinned slightly. "It'd be hard for me not to after seeing that." He shrugged. "I wanted one and it seemed like a good time. The water muffles sound."

"So you didn't have to hear us," Buffy finished for him. "Listen," she said, laying a hand over his, "I'm not sorry for what happened earlier and I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm sorry if it offended or upset you, but not for it happening. Matter of fact, I'm not going to fight it as hard if it were to be offered again."

Xander nodded, his mouth full. "I didn't expect you to," he said after swallowing. "I'm not sorry and they're not so why should you be?" He took another bite and chewed it slowly. "Anything else up for discussion?"

"What was the drawing?" Willow asked, wanting the tension she could feel radiating off Xander eased.

"Secret until I get it finished and find out if it's a go or not." He scraped his plate. "Anybody else want more?" He waited patiently but nobody said anything so he finished off what was left.

' ' ' '

Oz waited around the apartment, wanting to talk to Xander alone. He ran over the younger man's behavior in the last few days, the cuddling man first thing in the morning, the wary one later in the day. The one that dumped ice cubes on them then went to relieve some of his own pressure. Opposites really, but the same person. How did he ever get himself into this position.

He wouldn't call it love, mostly because he wasn't sure if that's what this was. He would call it desire, lust, and majorly a like, but maybe not love. He didn't love him like he loved Willow, but it was similar to how he felt about Buffy. He smiled at the thought of the nymph that had surprised him this morning by actually asking for his help with something. He shook off the thought to go back to his examination of his feelings. Why was he so determined to have the younger man as a *full* member of all that was going on? Was it some deep seated desire to be an Alpha male, as had been brought up to him on occasion, or was it something else? He looked up as Xander walked through the door, carrying heavy bags of stuff. "Want help?"

The younger man shook his head as he laid the stuff down on the table. "Nah, I've got to build something."

"For class?"

"For a prototype. My teacher said my idea would work so I'm doing it." He shrugged. "Just one or two little forms to fill out after I make sure it works."

"Do you have time to talk?"

"No, but you could always help me sort." He waved at the extra chair as he started to group objects into two piles. He put all the plastic pieces in that one and all the components in the other. Not a very big pile, but it was the box that was in the bottom of the bag that had been heavy anyway. Oz pulled it out and looked it over. "Don't."

"Okay, I just moved it aside."

"Don't let it fall, it's delicate." He looked up briefly. "So, talking?"

"Um, yeah. I wanted to know why you were so touchy the other night." He pushed his piles into Xander's. "I mean, at the dinner table and before that with the ice and all. Did we do something to upset you?"

"No," he said, distracted. "Get me the tackle box that has all my stuff?" Oz nodded, going over to the backpack table to grab it and bring it back. He set it in the middle of the table, undoing the latches. "I need the soldering stuff." He went back to looking at the boards through a magnifying glass. "I'm not mad and I wasn't then. I'm happy that you three have finally worked it out, but it's not me." He took the stuff and set it out the way he liked it. "You might want to be upwind, I've got a lot to do." He unrolled his schematic and looked down at it before he started to put in the little pieces of circuitry. "Why?"

"Because, the other morning when I had to get you up, you were so cuddly. I just wanted to know what was going on?"

Xander put down the board he was working on to grab Oz's hand, squeezing it lightly. "I needed a hug then and you never seemed to mind that. If you did I'm sorry, I won't ask again." He gave the hand a pat before getting immersed in his project again.

Oz grabbed the mobile hands. "Listen to me. That's never been a problem. I'll gladly give you however many hugs you need. I just wanted to know why you can't ask for one when you're not sleepy. What sort of horrible trauma led you to believe that being affectionate was a bad thing?"

"None," Xander said, pulling back his hand. "Now, are you helping or not?" He looked over briefly, but Oz was gone. "Okay, I'm guessing that's a not." He shrugged and went back to setting the delicate pieces into the board.

Oz flopped down on the bed and picked up the phone. Willow was at lunch and he needed answers. "Hey, it's me," he said when she had picked up. "Tell me something, what's wrong with him?" He didn't like the giggle on the other end, but he went with it. "Too broad?" He didn't like the answer she gave him so he tried to narrow it down. "How about with us, what would stop him there?" Willow sighed and gave him a short list, which took five minutes. "Okay, so what do I do?"

' ' ' '

Willow looked over at Buffy and smiled at her. "Oz, only you would know. I know enough about his history to know it's going to either take a frontal attack or we need to come up under his defenses."

Buffy grimaced. "You're starting to sound like the history teacher."

Willow waved her to be quiet. "If you want my opinion, I'd say the coming up under his defenses would be better, but be prepared for a hell of a fight that could tear us all apart." Oz said something. "No, then you'd have to fight him straight on and that'd be bad. He's got enough defenses to keep you, us, at it until the end of time. Actually I'm amazed that he ever finds out new things about himself."

"At least the humor defense is gone," Buffy said. She picked up her burger to bite into it. "It's much nicer without the sarcasm that used to float around him."

Willow nodded. "Did you hear that?" Oz answered. "Okay, so we'll figure it out tonight. Together. Actually I don't think you could do it alone." Oz said good bye so she hung up. "He tried to get through the wall while he was working on something."

Buffy nodded. "Not even close to a good thing. What's he working on?"

"Don't know, he didn't say. Just a bunch of parts, boards, and some plastic stuff." She opened the computer magazine. "This is the one I want. It's got everything I need, including the wrist commander thingy that we both thought was cool."

Buffy winced at the price. "Pricey."

"Yeah, but well worth it for the system. Maybe I'll ask for it for a birthday or a wedding present." Buffy started to choke. "Damn, I'm sorry. I know that's a touchy subject now." She waited until the older woman was done. "You all right?" The blonde nodded, sipping some of her soda. "I'm glad." She waited for a few minutes, until the other woman was ready. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." She took another bite of her burger, stuffing her mouth so she didn't have to talk.

' ' ' '

Xander finished programming the last number and dropped the small keychain sized box. He gathered up everyone's cell phone, making sure they were all off. He had asked everyone for theirs last night, including Joyce's and Giles, now that she had made him carry one, and Marion's pager. He pushed the button and waited. Each one of them started to ring, along with the apartment phone. He checked the pager, seeing the coordinates coming up there too. He smiled and patted himself on the back, turning on each one to get rid of the emergency beacon.

He tucked it into his pocket, flipping the cover over top of the button, then left the apartment with his phone and the sheets of paper that he needed sent in. His lawyer was going to be made a happy man today.

' ' ' '

Willow looked around the door with a smile. "He's not here." She walked over to pick up her phone. "He must done with whatever he needed the phones for." She waved in the younger slayer. "Sit, talk." Marion had skipped school to come find her and she was determined to help the girl with whatever she needed.

Marion picked up her pager, looking at the funny message. "I wonder what this was?" She showed it to Willow as she sat.

"Coordinates, G.P.S. I think." She shrugged. "That's not my area but you needed me for something. Want a soda?" The young girl shook her head. She laid a hand on the soft hand. "Tell me and I'll help."

"I just needed another voice in the argument."

"Ah, then you are pregnant." She smiled at the shock. "Why else would Giles go torture that boy?"

Marion bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, I am. And I'm about to come up to that magical cut off date."

Willow paused for a second, then it sank in so she nodded. "Okay, so you want a 'what would you do' sort of thing?"

Marion nodded. "Yeah. I know all the facts, Joyce made sure of it, but I'm not sure which I can go through with. She even gave me the option of them raising it," she rubbed her stomach, "but I'm not sure I can do that either."

Willow switched couches, sitting beside the young girl. "Well, I would have to consider what was best for you. With school and your 'other job', as the other one calls it, you would have to balance it out somehow. Being nine months pregnant and fighting would be difficult."

"If I was allowed out of bed," Marion pointed out. "The Obstetrician suggested that I shouldn't have it, that it could hurt me."

"Then I would take that opinion too. They should know what they're talking about. But, we also need to consider your upbringing and what you're feeling. Basically what's right for you is something that you would have to decide, not me. If *I* was in your situation and it was Oz's, I think that I would go through with it, possibly letting Joyce raise it as hers. But that's me."

Marion squeezed her hand. "That's what I want to do, but I've got to think about..."

"It's not that important now. Not while Buffy's living," Willow reasoned. "She can take over again full time for a few months." She patted the soft hand again. "Are you sure you don't want something to drink? We should have some ice cream too." She got up, heading for the kitchen.

Marion smiled, heading in after her. "Any weird flavors?" Willow pulled out the Ben & Jerry's, waving the containers in the air. "That'll do. Thanks."

The older woman smiled as she pulled down to big bowls. "Of course. It's not like I won't listen, even if Buffy doesn't come to me about these things."

"Was she..."

"Nope, her first was Angel." She covered her mouth.

"Giles told me, in an allegorical story of course, but I knew it was her." She shrugged. "That must have been tough."

Willow sighed, bringing all the stuff over to the table. "Tell me about it. At least I got to see Oz for more than a few minutes a day. We could share stuff, take classes together, and everything but she couldn't. They fought together a lot but nothing else." She dished out some of her favorite then set the container in the middle of the table. "Take it to mix if you want."

Marion quickly made her mess, settling back with her full bowl. "Thanks," she said through a mouthful. "This is a good idea."

"Anytime dear, anytime." Willow started to eat her ice cream, wondering if she would ever face that problem.

' ' ' '

Xander knocked on the door to his lawyer's office and walked in. "Busy?"

The older man waved him in, turning off his monitor. "Not really. What can I do for you today?" He smiled. "You know that I'm going to have to charge you, right?"

Xander smiled as he handed over the forms. "I've invented something because my teacher was fascinated by the little ideas that keep floating around in my head. I'm not sure if it's new though." He stood up to pulled the box out of his pocket. "It's an emergency locator. You push the button and it dials a set of pre-programmed numbers to tell them where you are in G.P.S. terms." He sat back down, waiting.

"Well, that would certainly be helpful. Are you trying to patent it?" The young man nodded. "Good idea. Even if it's not bought by the military or someone it's still a good idea. How many prototypes do you have made?"

"Five. One for each of my friends, and I forgot to get enough for a sixth. I have everything except the case." He pointed at it. "It was my independent project for class."

"Ah, yes, class. I was meaning to call you to see if you passed or not." Xander handed over a copy of his grades. "Very nice. I'm very proud." He handed them back with a smile. "Are they going up on your fridge?"

Xander smiled and laughed a little. "No, I'm going to celebrate this one in aloneness mostly. Most everyone else is heading out for Spring Break so Joyce, Giles, and I were going out to a dinner to celebrate." He shrugged. "What do you think?"

"Well, I think I've only done this once before, but with your permission, I'd like to get the paperwork started. Did you go through one of those invention places?" Xander shook his head. "I'm glad, my previous client had his invention taken from him by one of them."

"Well, I did get the paperwork from one of their hotlines but nothing else."

The lawyer looked over the paperwork. "Nothing here is a contract to anyone else. Just the application and a copy of your schematics, right?" Xander nodded. "Okay." He stood up to shake the younger man's hand. "You know, by the time this goes through, and with all the other stuff I do for you, I'll be able to get my daughter a Jag for her next birthday." He shook his head. "At least it's not something that you need to worry about."

"Yeah, that trust is sizeable. Am I still basically living off my grandmother's? And is all the stuff done so that if something happens to me it goes to them?" The older man nodded. "Do I have something to sign? Some paperwork? You said it should be ready by now." It was pushed across and his signature was put down after he had read each carefully. "Okay, anything else I need to do?"

"Yeah, we need to camouflage it better. You made the list in the state." He pushed across the financial section of the LA Times. "Probably not a good thing, not with your family at least."

Xander sighed and read down it. "Yeah, not really. But they said it's all being held in trust and that I can't touch it so it shouldn't be a problem. Did you tell them to refer any sudden outbreaks of relativity to you?"

The lawyer sat back to laugh. "Oh, god, that is so good. I should call them back to tell them that." He slowly calmed down. "Yeah, I did. But that was still cute." He wiped his eyes. "You're so good at that. How did you know I was having a bad day?"

"Because you were frowning at your computer. Oh, yeah, did you ever find out about those ATM transactions? I never did hear back."

The older man turned on his monitor and turned it around. "You won't like it."

"Doesn't make it not true though." He read the complaint on the screen, face falling. "She did?" The older man nodded. "Why? Did she give a reason?"

"She said that it was rightfully hers since you were her son and she had raised you. Something like compensation for putting up with you. She filed for a second card for you through the mail, forging your signature on the cards."

Xander shook his head. "This is not good. What's going to happen?"

"She's going to be put on probation, it's already been agreed upon, and she's paying me every cent she took." He spread his hands out in the air, the Universal signal for "not a clue". "What else would you like me to do?"

The young man frowned and muttered, "Don't ask, that would be illegal," under his breath. "No, nothing. I'm guessing it's for the best. Is she getting counseling?" A slight nod. "Both of them?" Another nod. "Okay, so I guess it's done with." He picked back up the little device. "Anything else I need for the application?" He would put his parents out of his mind, again.

"No, it looks like everything's here. I can get a sworn statement from your teacher that you did this all yourself and that it was, in fact, a project and that it does work. Oh, just in case, how does it work?"

"It sends out basically a cell phone type of signal. Somewhere between that and a shortband radio one. I checked with the FCC when I thought of it, I'd heard that you needed a license or something, but the regional guy, an Adam's or something like that, said it was okay and that I didn't need one."

"I'll check, just in case." He smiled and patted Xander's hand. "I'm happy. You seem really good at this."

"I am. I put in my application for the college too." He grinned. "Soon, I'll be there instead." He waved as he walked out, checking on the device before putting it back in his pocket. "Yeah, soon, everything'll be all right again." He went out to his car, starting it and pulling out. He could use some lunch now.

' ' ' '

Willow looked up as Xander came through the door. "Oh, you bought lunch?" She pouted.

"I've been working all morning so I thought I'd eat, but if you want I'll stick it in the fridge." He patted Marion on the top of the head. "I've got something for you," he sing-songed.

She smiled. "What? And what were those funny numbers?"

"One and the same." He pulled out another of the boxes, handing it over. "Don't get it wet. It's not waterproof yet." He sat down beside her. "It's a location device. In an emergency, you push the button and it rings all the cell phones and your pager, giving G.P.S. locations to all of them." He grinned. "The next time you're overwhelmed, you push the little blue button and it'll call all of us, and the nearest free ones will come."

Marion jumped up to hug him, tightly. "Thank you. This is great. Is it programmed yet?"

He shook his head as he pulled back some so he could breathe. "No, not yet. I can program them in later, in order of preference of course. It'll call all of us, but the last one will get it a minute later than the first." He shrugged. "Not a big, takes ten minutes or so."

She sat back down, small smile still hanging around. "That is so cool. Such a genius." He blushed. "Well, you are. Who else thought of this?"

Willow shrugged. "No one unless the Military has and isn't telling. It'd be all over the news as a personal protection device." She scraped the bottom of her bowl before putting it down. "That was good."

"Ah, sugary goodness." He pulled out his burger and handed over his fries. "Cold, I'm afraid." Marion took them happily, dunking them into the soup that was her ice cream. "You're still pregnant, huh?"

She nodded, mouth full. Willow smiled, stepping in. "She's taking Joyce up on her offer to raise it." She took the young girl's hand. "A wise decision all around."

Xander nodded. "Okay, I might babysit. Might." He looked at her. "If you want to yell at a man, come get me. I may even help with binges, as I can cook."

Marion smiled, swallowing to get all the fries out. "You sure? I'm already craving stuff." She looked down at the cold fries swimming in the remains of ice cream. "But I guess you can tell that."

"Sure, not a big thing. I'm a decent cook and I'll gladly whip up something unusual, just to try it." He paused on the way to stuffing more of the burger in. "I filed my patent stuff this morning." He chewed and swallowed. "Then we talked about the missing money and stuff."

"I saw..." He shook his head slightly. "The neatest editorial cartoon today," Marion finished. "It was about the supposed bi-partisanship in congress, it showed them as gay men wearing lame and dancing together out of step." She giggled. "You just had to have seen it."

Xander smiled. "I bet. But of course we don't all wear lame."

Marion laid a hand on his arm. "I didn't mean it like that, besides you'd look horrible in lame. Velvet now, that's another story."

"And it's fuzzy," Willow said. She looked at the pair strangely. "What else did you read?" She leaned her elbows on the table.

"Giles has me reading current events and looking at the obituaries of course, but other than that he has me hooked on classical literature. I'm making my way through the Greeks right now."

"Mythology? I loved that subject. So many naked people." He finished his burger, slurping down his soda to clear his mouth. "So much of it was war and sex. It was good."

Willow shook her head sadly. "There's more to Greek literature than Mythology, Xan, there's actually some really great pieces of writing in there." She smiled over at Marion. "Somewhere."

The young girl started to laugh, but then her pager went off. "Ooops. Giles found out I skipped class to come here. Better hurry home before he gets all stiff and tweedy." She kissed each one on the cheek before grabbing her coat and leaving.

"So," Willow said, gathering bowls. "What was she reading that you didn't want me to know?"

"Um, my mother got arrested for taking some of my money. She's the one that did those ATM transactions, claiming it as compensation." He snorted, turning to look at his roommate. "What else went on besides major life decisions today?"

Willow leaned on the counter. "You tell me. How long have you been working on that?"

"A few months. It was actually my independent project for school."

"Have you heard about the graduation thing yet?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna graduate near the top of the class." He shrugged. "Number six or something."

Willow's mouth hung open. "Xan, you're graduating that way?" She came around to hug him. "Oh, I'm so proud of you. That's so good." She bounced away. "I gotta call Giles."

"He already knows." Xander smiled. "I had him open my grades for me."

She shook her head. "You're so bad about that. I remember opening many of those envelopes for you." She patted the side of his face. "Wait till Oz and Buffy hear." She ran to the phone and started to dial, but the cellphones still on the table started to go off. "Shoot. I'll tell 'em later." She sat down on the edge of the sofa. "So, what were they?"

"Reasonably good." He grinned as he headed for the bedroom. "I'll fix the other ones later when we can all decide on a ringing order." He turned around. "Speaking of which, I'm not cooking tonight so if you don't want to, order and I'll put it on my card." He closed the door gently.

Willow bit her lip. "Shoot," she told herself. "What did I do now?" She put all the phones in their chargers and lay down to watch some mindless entertainment.

' ' ' '

Xander pulled out his diary, once he was sure Willow wasn't coming in. He flipped to a new page before pulling out the pen he kept with it. He quickly wrote down an entry and hid it again, right next to another one that hadn't been moved in over a month.

He laid back against the pillows and smiled up at the ceiling at the little glow in the dark stars Oz had put on. They had made this place a home and him part of their family, even when he didn't want a full time membership. He sighed, rolling onto his side, bunching up the fuzzy comforter that was Buffy's contribution to the bed in his hands. "Why does this stuff happen to me?"

Oz knocked and walked in. "Congrats are in order I hear." He closed the door behind him before laying down beside Xander, giving him enough space to feel comfortable. "So, how bad were your grades?"

The younger man smiled as he pulled them out. "All A's, as usual. I'm sixth in the class." He shrugged, showing them before balling them up and tossing them in his dirty clothes. "Nothing major."

Oz shook his head. "This from the "C's are our friends" guy? Not hardly." He grinned. "I'm so proud of you." He leaned over, stroking the side of the younger man's face. "So very, very proud of you."

"Have you noticed that you're talking a lot more recently? And smiling actually. I'm talking less and you're talking more." He smiled "But I guess that's the power of the Hellmouth." He pulled Oz to him, giving him a close hug. "Thanks."

' ' ' '

Joyce smiled as she took the peeled potato from her adopted daughter's hands. "Maybe we can have Xander contribute to the college fund instead of making him shop for a baby present. The boy can be hopeless about necessities." She smiled fondly, remembering how she had to explain to him about paying bills. Repeatedly.

"Well, that wouldn't be much of a problem. Not with his trust and all."

Joyce shook her head. "That was an idle question. I'm sure there's not much left of it."

Marion smiled, pushing over the paper. "Between us, that isn't a worry."

Joyce looked down at the section it was folded over to with a frown. "Oh, no. No, this can't be right."

"What can't?" Giles asked, walking in the kitchen door. "Did the Dow fall again?" He leaned down to kiss his fiancee. "How are we tonight, Marion?" He walked on through the kitchen, going upstairs to change.

Joyce looked over at the young girl. "This stays here, between us. I know he told you not to mention it to them. Things like this can make people act very strange." She balled it up, tossing the paper in with the peelings. "Promise me."

"Of course. I'm keeping quiet about his patent too." She grinned. "Just us."

Joyce shook her head. "It worked?" Marion nodded. "Good, I'm glad. It's going to be a good thing after all." She patted the young girl's hands. "Forget you saw that."

"Forgotten already. Here's another." She handed over the potato with a grin. "Do you think we have enough?"

"For us? Yeah, for leftovers and lunches?" She judged the piles. "Three more. Get small ones though."

Marion picked them out, showing them for approval before starting to peel again.

' ' ' '

Xander looked down at the newspaper in annoyance then looked around before taking it off the wooden dowel to shred it. The librarian looked at him funny and started to walk over, but he beat her there. "I was in a paper shredding mood. I'll pay for it." He handed over a dollar. "Enough?"

She nodded and patted his arm. "I understand, this school does that to me too some days."

He just smiled and went upstairs, knowing Buffy was studying with her group. He ran into one of her friends, who pointed their area out, and jogged down the long corridor to the large study room. "Ah, here you are," he said, walking up behind her to lean down next to her ear. "Want a present?"

She smiled and introduced him before getting up to follow him out into the hall. "So, give."

He handed her back her cell phone and the little device he had been carrying around all day. "It's a locator. When you're in trouble, you push the button and it sends your G.P.S. location to all our cell phones, including yours. I'll delete yours later though." He waited while she examined it.

She smiled. "Okay, how does it do that? And do we know G.P.S.?"

Xander shook his head. "I'll draw up a list of usual places later and it works on the same principle as your phone. It sends out a coded message to Willow's computer which calls all our phones." He was bouncing on toes now.

She smiled. "Any freaky glitches that still need to be worked out?" She smiled. "Not that you haven't thought of everything but I'd like to be sure."

He shook his head, counting off on his fingers. "I've worked out a backup for when the computer's not hooked up or on. I'm working out a system, but it's not installed yet, to let you dial only one of us. I've worked out something so that it will work if it gets wet but that's not installed yet either. This is the base working model and nothing more. I tested it earlier, that's why I needed the phones, to make sure and so you guys wouldn't be disturbed. Any questions?"

"Okay, so no wet, no drop, dials all of us and gives a location but not a reason?" He nodded. "Anything else I should know?"

"Yeah, keep the lid down over the button when you're not using it so it doesn't wear out. The battery's rated at two hundred hours but I can't be sure. The lid acts like a switch. Give it a second before you push when you put it up. It's rechargeable but I need to buy a charger base."

Buffy smiled. "Well, aren't you the thinker in the group today." She went up to her toes to kiss his cheek. "Thanks. Did you make one for Marion too?"

"I made one for each of us, five in all. I have most of the stuff for a sixth, but they were out of the plastic stuff. I'll get some more soon and make both Giles and your mom one."

She touched his cheek. "Thanks." He kissed her forehead gently then ran down the stairs.

Buffy watched him go for a second, then made sure the lid was over the button before going back into her study group.

' ' ' '

Willow logged on, checking her e-mail and reading all the news she could handle. She logged into her account, starting another window to run the newspapers while her mail was loading and deleting. Soon, she was happily engaged in her mother's latest pleas for a traditional ceremony and the LA Times.

' ' ' '

Xander walked in and frowned. Willow was sitting there, staring at the screen. He could see some sort of news flow around her head but not what was on it. But then, he knew what it was anyway. She had found the listing. "You okay," he called from the kitchen. "Want some juice?"

"Beer," she croaked.

Xander looked at her but figured she'd want it even if he tried to talk her out of it so got her one, and him one too, bringing them out to where she sat. "You okay?" he asked again.

Willow nodded but didn't say anything. She popped the top and chugged part of it, until he took the can from her that is. "What is that?"

He looked at the screen and had his guess confirmed. "Why? Is this going to change anything?"

She shook her head. "No, not really. I mean, it's nice to know that you have that amount and all but no, it shouldn't change anything."

He nodded, opening his beer. "Do you know why I didn't tell you?"

"Because you didn't want us to look at you funny?" She turned to face him. "Why not tell me? We've been friends since we were old enough to walk. Why not me at least?" Her eyes misted up.

He knew she was hurt but he couldn't put it into any set of words that would make sense. All he could come up with was, "If you were me, would you have?"

Willow got up, pacing around the room. "Yeah, I would have. You wouldn't have tried to leech off me, you'd have been happy for me. Everyone would've been happy for me. I'd have done stuff for everyone, made sure they all got through school and all. Why didn't you tell us?"

Xander slumped in on himself. "You already know why. I couldn't. It's bad enough that someone else found out and now it's out there. And I *do* do things for you guys. All the time." He got up, stopping her by grabbing her arms. "Name one time that I haven't done something for you. One time!" He let go of her arms to grab his wallet, leaving the apartment. "I'll be home... eventually." He slammed the door after him. He wasn't really mad at her, but he didn't feel like he could stay around much longer with that question hanging over him.

Willow watched her best friend, the one she had always counted on being there, leave her alone. Maybe even for good. She sat down and started to cry, drinking her beer to help her.

It was a few hours later when Oz got home, quietly walking in the door. He could see the glare of the computer but not Willow so he sat down in front of it. Until the soft body flowed into his lap to continue her crying. "What's wrong?" he asked, pulling her up and holding her. He rocked her back and forth, getting her to slowly calm down again. "What's wrong?" She pointed at the computer so he moved the mouse, canceling the screensaver. "What? Your mother again?" She shook her head so he changed windows. "Hmm, what's this." He paged through the article, coming to the list at the end. "Oh, my, god." He pulled Willow back. "Where is he?"

She shrugged, burying her nose in his chest. "He didn't tell me," she said. "Not even me."

Oz patted the back of her head and rocked them slowly, absorbing the facts laid out in front of him and what Willow had said.

' ' ' '

Xander checked into the creepy motel, asking for a quiet room. He grabbed his key, signing a false name, before he walked down the hall to the end. He opened the door and frowned at the woman sitting in there. "I think one of us has the wrong room," he said slowly.

"Not really. The checkout guy asked if I would come in here to see if there was anything you needed." She got up, walking over to him, trying to be sexy in her three inch stilettos and flimsy neglige. "Can I be of some ... service to you?"

Xander held the door open. "Nope, not really. I'm just tired from traveling. If you wouldn't mind...." She pouted, but left him alone. He locked the door, throwing the chain, before heading to the bed and stripping the questionably clean bedspread off onto the floor. He sat down, letting himself fall backwards. "Oh, hell. This ... this is bad." He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the scene at home.

' ' ' '

Oz looked up as Buffy bounced in. "Do you know where Xander went?" She shook her head as she vaulted over the back of a futon to sit on it. "He's not here, Willow's been drinking, and this is not a good time to be happy."

She held up the device. "He said it's a location unit. I press the button and it tells you guys where I am by something called G.P.S.." She shrugged. "What's the deal now?"

Oz pointed to the screen. "Help me get her to bed first? Then we need to talk."

Buffy did as she was told, grabbing the younger woman's feet. "Eeww, what's she been drinking?"

"Beer, two of them. She's a real lightweight when it comes to alcohol." He grunted as she was lifted, but they carried her with ease. "Okay, here we go." They tossed Willow onto the bed and Buffy headed out to read the story while Oz got her settled.

Soon enough she came back in. "He's tied for tenth?" Oz nodded, pulling off Willow's jeans. "Then where is he?"

"Don't know. She confronted him, they had a fight, that's all I got. He left and she started to drink."

"Wow, deja-vu in a different format." She sat down on the floor to watch Oz struggle. "Want help?" He shook his head. "Okay. So now what?"

"Now, we find him and talk to him, see what really happened." Oz stood up to survey his work. "Better, she'll be more comfortable now."

Buffy stood up. "We should look in all the usual places, I'll call mom." She grabbed the phone and dialed, but her mother didn't have a clue. "Nope, not there."

Oz picked up his stuff. "We need to find someplace he can get lost in." He grabbed the phone book, looking up motels. "He won't want to come back tonight, so he'll have to crash someplace."

Buffy came over to look over his shoulder. "Those two are real rat traps. We could swing by and check for his car." She grabbed her keys. "And, no offense, but I'm driving. I've seen the inside of the van."

Oz looked down at Willow. "One of us should stay."

"Go ahead, you're the fiancee. I'll bring him back. No big."

"Yup," Oz said, taking a sudden swing, knocking her out. "No big. I'm sorry," he whispered, "but he won't listen to you as well. He might not listen to me, but he wouldn't listen to you." He picked up his cell phone and dialed Joyce's on the way out the door. "Hey, it's me. Would you like to come over and watch an unconscious slayer and a drunken witch?" He closed the door and walked down the stairs.

' ' ' '

Xander woke to someone pounding on the door. He got up slowly, grunting at the pain in his back from the squishiness of the bed, going over to look out the peephole. "Si?" he asked in falsetto once he saw his roommate.

"Your Spanish still stinks, let me in." He hit the door again. "Now, Xan."

Xander sighed and undid the lock but not the chain. "Is one night alone too much to ask?" He was pushed back when Oz kicked in the chain. "I guess so," he said from his place on the floor. "Want fix that so I don't have to pay for it?"

Oz slammed the door and pulled Xander up to face him. "Is it in your nature to leave the destruction of Willow's soul in your wake or is it just a habit now?" He shook him once before letting him go. "She was *drinking* tonight." He looked around the room. "Next time you want to hide, pick a decent spot; you know, someplace that you won't get bugs from the sheets.

Xander sat where he had dropped on the floor, looking up at his friend, or at least the man who used to be his friend; now he couldn't be so sure. "What do you want?" he asked, laying back with a sigh.

Oz walked over to stand over his chest, looking down. "Why didn't you tell someone?"

"What? That she didn't leave me a little, she left me a lot? Do you know what that would have done to us?" He shook his head. "It would have been better if none of you had found out." He turned his head, only to have it nudged back by the toe of a tennis shoe. "What do you want from me!"

"How 'bout an apology?" Oz squatted down over the younger man's chest. "How about an 'I'm sorry I ran out tonight like a scared little kid because I thought everyone would hate me now?' Hmm? How about it? Or how about an 'I'm sorry I think you guys are that shallow'?"

Xander shook his head. "It was the right thing to do."

"No, it wasn't," Oz said a little too calmly, a sign of his incipient anger. "It was a *stupid* thing to do and it hurt *everyone*." He got up, starting to pace around the room. "Come on, grab your crap and let's go home."

Xander sat up but didn't move any more. "No, I'm not coming back tonight. I need space to think." He was pulled up by his collar. "No, Oz. Drop the subject."

"Or what? You won't come back at all?" He pushed his friend down onto the bed then got in his face. "Do you know how much you hurt her? How much she thought of you until she found out that you were hiding something like that from her?"

"What was I supposed to say. 'Gee, Will, I've got a few more bucks than you think?' or ... or how 'bout 'Gee guys, you don't need to pay for shit because I've got bucks?' What was I *supposed* to say." He refused to get mad, to yell, but nothing he could do would stop him from crying. "Just leave. I know you don't want me so go." He rolled over and beat Oz to the bathroom by enough to barely get the door closed. "Go home. They need you there."

Oz sat down facing the door. "I never would've thought that'd come from your mouth," he said. "After all we've done for you and with you, and how much we care for you, you think *that* about *us*?" He shook his head. "Yeah, maybe it's better if I go. Maybe it'd be better for all of us if we all split."

Xander didn't come out of the bathroom in time to stop him from going out the door, but he did stop him from getting in the van. "No, no I don't want that. You guys take the place. I'll pay rent on it until you're out of college. It's me that's not wanted. I'm the outsider and I always have been." He let the older man go, going back to his room.

Oz followed him up, slamming the door behind them. "We don't want it! We want *nothing* from you!"

"Well, that's a switch," Xander said quietly. "Usually you do. See, I was right, this would change things." He started to laugh. "And you wonder why I didn't tell you guys." He fell back onto the bed, the situation finally catching up to him, the hysterical laughter coming out strong and almost silent.

Oz just stood there, watching his friend crack up. "You are so wrong," he said. "But you won't let us show you." He shook his head, walking back out, going home.

Xander rolled away from the door, not bothering to lock it again, and cried out all the pain he had been holding in over this.

It was a while later, a few hours maybe he couldn't be sure anymore, when Giles found him in the motel room. He didn't see the disgust at the surroundings or the mild look of concern. He didn't see the pity or the anger or the pain in the expressive eyes. He couldn't look at him.

"Guess I screwed up again, huh, Giles?" He rolled away from the older man.

"Yes, I believe you did and it may be irreparable this time." He sat down on the bed beside the younger man's back, after looking at the sheets. "Why did you leave? No one would tell me."

"'Cause they found out how extensive my trust is and Will freaked. I couldn't stay." He sniffled, wiping his eyes. "I didn't tell them 'cause things would be different then, you know?" Giles made an agreeing sound. "So, what do I do when Willow finds out? She yells and I yell, she drinks and I leave. End of story. Well until Oz came and yelled, then really end of story." He wiped at his eyes again. "Why did she do this to me?"

"I'm sure the Mistress didn't mean to hurt you with this. I'm sure it was nothing like that at all. She was looking out for you, trying to take care of you even through she wasn't there anymore." He cleared his throat. "You did say she was like your mother, one that understood all of who you were and what you wanted and needed. She knew that you would need taken care of, so she did her best."

"If only she had left instructions." He sighed and rolled some more, laying on his stomach with his head off the side. "This is so wrong. Maybe I should have told them when I knew."

"Would that have been wise? Wouldn't the same thing have happened only back when your relationship was more fragmented than it is now?"

Xander started to laugh again. "Like it's so great now." He flipped over onto his back. "Go home, I'm sure Joyce and Marion need you. I'll find another place tomorrow then get my stuff."

"I'm afraid that's not probable." He laid a hand on Xander's shoulder. "I do believe that if you go home, you'll find they are all at our house." He stood up, going over to the door. "Oz told me where you were, but you shouldn't blame him. He was only trying to help."

"No, I blame me. I'm the one that screwed up." He looked around the room. "I don't think I could live there anyway." He closed his eyes. "Lock the door?"

"Of course. You know where we all are when you need us." He left the room, silently closing the door behind him. Leaving Xander alone for the first time since he had gained independence.

' ' ' '

Xander woke up, the unfamiliar room bringing it home to him what had happened. He rolled onto his side to look at the ringing cellphone. He picked it up delicately to answer it. "Yeah?"

"Are you coming back?" the apartment manager wanted to know.

"Yeah, I'll be in later today. Why?"

"I noticed that it was too quiet so I went up to check. Did you know that they left?" He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I didn't know if you knew."

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "I knew. Giles told me last night after Willow, Oz, and I all had a fight about my having real money instead of just a little."

"Ah, yes, I know that argument well. Hurry home, it's too quiet." He hung up.

Xander shook his head and got up, looking down at his wrinkled, dirty clothes. "Doesn't matter," he said. He put his phone in his pocket before he left the room, making sure he hadn't left anything behind. He stopped at McDonald's for drive thru then headed for home with one last stop.

' ' ' '

"You've got to fix this," Joyce told her daughter. "You're ostracizing him for having enough money to not worry for a few years." She sat down and faced her daughter. "I didn't raise you like that."

Buffy nodded. "I don't have a prob with it. Willow's upset because he didn't tell her. Oz is upset that he left and how much he didn't seem to care." She shrugged, sipping some more of the coffee. "There's nothing I can do about this. This isn't some demon's curse that we're talking about."

"Yes, it is, Buffy," her mother said. "Money is as much a curse as anything else. Why do you think people have stolen some of it from him? Why do you think he worried about it changing things? Hmm? Think, you're a bright girl. Figure the man out." She patted the top of her daughter's head. "I'll stop over on my way to work to make sure he's home and still living."

Buffy started to choke. "You don't think..."

"Dear, in one night he's lost all that was important to him. I *do* think, that's why I'm asking you to fix it. Finish your breakfast, you'll be late for your test." Joyce grabbed her briefcase and walked out the kitchen door, going off to start her day. She made it to Xander's apartment, having to knock on the bottom door because he wouldn't answer the buzzer. The manager let her in with a wan smile and a shaking head.

"He may be home but he's not there." He stepped back to let her in. "Do you know what happened? All I know is that they found out that he had money."

Joyce grimaced. "Then they had a fight about him not telling them. Wanting to shoot them aside, I don't understand it either." She headed up the stairs, taking the key he offered her. She let herself in, seeing all the thrown things littering the floors. "My, this is different." She headed for the bedroom, seeing Xander laying on the bed, looking up at the bare ceiling. "Hey," she said, coming in to sit on the edge of the huge bed. "Are you all right?"

He took a drink from the beer bottle in his hand. "Yup, right as rain, whatever that means." He was already slurring from the alcohol.

"Maybe you shouldn't be drinking. Or don't you remember last time?" She touched his hand but it was pulled away. "Okay, I won't touch you. Anything I can get you?"

"Gun."

"No."

"Then I'm sorry, there's nothing you or anyone can do." He drank the rest of the bottle and threw it at the ceiling, not even ducking the pieces of glass that came down.

"Xander, you need help," she said quietly. "You can't do this. It's not good."

"I'm fine. Or didn't you hear that money can buy happiness." He smiled and looked over at her. "I'm fine, really. Go to work and worry about Buffy and Marion. They need you."

Joyce leaned over, avoiding the small bleeding cuts to kiss his cheek. "I'm here if you want to talk." She stood up. "At least throw them at the wall and stop before you pass out." He nodded so she left, meeting the older manager in the hall. "He's not fine." She tried to hand back the key but he waved it off. "I'll be back around lunch."

"I'll make sure he doesn't leave before then." He shrugged. "What else can I do?"

"Well, not letting the cat walk in there would be a good idea. There's tons of broken stuff on the floor." She headed down the stairs, going off to start her day and worry now.

He walked into the apartment, shaking his head at all the broken beer bottles and the spilled beer. "Young one?" he called. He heard another one break from the bedroom so went that way. "Are you all right?" He peered around the door but Xander wasn't awake anymore. He shook his head and walked out, making a note to himself to come up and check on him every little while.

' ' ' '

Two days before his graduation and three days before the beginning of spring break for the rest of his friends. He went around doing the normal pre-grad stuff: mailing announcements, getting it posted in the paper, things like that. Even though he didn't feel like it he thought he should at least try to act normal for everyone around him who didn't know he was self-destructing gradually. He didn't expect anyone to show up, Giles and Joyce would be too torn in loyalty to do that. He debated for almost a day before finally deciding to send his family an announcement, but he sent it too late for any of them to show up either. He had his gown and cap hanging neatly in the closet and everything else he needed was safely stored away. He had programed the other devices then sent them by courier to Joyce at work, knowing they would take them but that they wouldn't accept a package from him. He stared at the newly painted walls, wondering how long before the fumes would die down or kill him.

' ' ' '

Joyce looked at the gathered teens. "Are you going to his graduation?" She looked around. "It's in two days and I'm sure he would like it if you would." She sat down, holding onto the mug for warmth. "He's miserable, guys. Truly miserable. I've seen him most days but he's not eating. He's not showering. He's not taken care of the cuts on his face from where he was throwing glass bottles at the ceiling." She saw Marion wince. "Well, I'm assuming it was a 'maybe one'll come down and slice me deeply enough' thing, but it could've just been grief." She took a sip. "I would like to go, as would Rupert, but we won't if you don't want us to."

Buffy nodded. "I think you should. He deserves to have someone there besides his lawyer." She looked down at the table and sighed. "Every time I pick up the phone to call him, I stop." She looked at her mother. "Why?"

Joyce smiled. "Because you still care." She patted her daughter's hand. "How about the rest of you?"

"I'm not going," Willow said. "I can't." She got up to go down to their fixed up basement. Oz followed silently behind her, but didn't say if he would go or not.

"Buffy, would you like to go with us?" She bit her lip and looked at the basement door. "They won't get mad at you for it. I know they're not that upset still." She silently shook her head and walked down to join them, so Joyce looked at her adopted daughter, legal now for almost a month. "And you?"

"I want to go. I have an outfit all picked out and I've got my ticket from the school." She nodded toward the basement door. "I also got a few extra in case they change their minds and one for each of you if you wanted." She stood up, going up to her room.

Joyce looked down in her coffee cup, trying to figure out what she should do. If she went, the kids would be mad, but if she didn't she'd hurt Xander. Of course this was what he'd expect, her and Giles not to show up so she wouldn't offend her daughter. She would leave it up to Rupert, he always seemed to know the right thing to do.

' ' ' '

Xander looked out over the sea of parents and friends at the early graduation ceremony, smiling slightly at the ones he knew. Marion looked smart in her tailored jacket and long skirt, his lawyer as always looking tailored and perfect. Well, at least he could count on someone. He straightened his neck wrap denoting his Magna-whatever status before taking his seat.

He listened to the featured speaker drone on and on about responsibility and life goals. He stepped up as his name was called to accept his certificate and his award for being top in his program. He stayed around for the obligatory pictures then he ducked out without saying a word, knowing the two that were there for him would understand.

He stopped to pick up a bottle of champagne at the liquor store, the guy never checked id's, and took it home to celebrate in aloneness. Again.

' ' ' '

Marion slapped her pictures from graduation on the table between the elder teens as she walked over to grab the milk so she could get a drink. She walked out without claiming them, ignoring the people that had done that to her friend.

Buffy looked at the top picture and winced. He looked so thin and tired. There were all sorts of lines on his face that were an angry red. She ended up shoving them away, not wanting, not able, to look at them anymore. She laid her head down on her crossed arms with a sigh. "I'm going over there tonight."

"No, we're not," Willow said. She pushed the pictures away without looking at them. "He was wrong about us and it was insulting and painful and ... and..." She left, going back to the basement, her safe place.

Oz looked at the top one, frowning. "We have a spare key again. Someone gave one to your mom." He went after Willow, knowing she didn't want to be alone.

Buffy pulled the pictures over, flipping through them. Each one twisted the knife that was causing her pain, each one made the heart wrenching pain just a little worse. She ended up getting up and heading in to find the man who always had the answers, taking the telling results of her actions with her.

Giles looked up from whatever book he was reading and frowned. "What?"

"Pictures of graduation. Marion dumped them on the table to show to us that we were wrong." She handed them over before flopping down to sprawl in a chair. "I don't know what to do," she whispered.

He looked at her, openly showing his concern. "I'm sure you do but you don't know if you can do it." He walked around the edge of the desk to sat down next to her. "There's only one right solution for this and your mother and I can't do it." He brushed the hair away from her face. "Only you three can."

She nodded, biting her lip briefly, something she had picked up from one of them. "But what if he won't talk to me."

"I'm sure he won't. His mistake was in trying to protect what you had without letting you know that it had changed. Yours, all of yours, was in getting upset that when the change happened he didn't tell you. All you have to do now is figure out where the break must start to mend." He patted the side of her face. "Now, I believe that you do know how to sit in a chair properly, so please do so." He went back to his book and she went back to her friends.

"Guys, we should go over and congratulate him at least." Willow shook her head. "He's earned that much, even from us."

Willow looked up, eyes still haunted from the loss of her best friend. "When?" She moved away from Oz. "When did he earn it? Huh? When he didn't tell us? When he let us go on thinking about doing things like being equal? When did he earn it Buffy, 'cause I would like to know."

Buffy sat down on the lone chair. "How about when he saved our lives or when he took care of us without a word. Or how about when he let us live in *his* space, taking all of us in without a question and demanding that we don't go someplace else. What does a little money have to do with any of that?" She looked down at her hands. "It's not like he hasn't worked his ass off to take care of us like little kids and do his class work and keep that big secret. I may not like the fact that he lied but I'll be damned if I'm going to make him suffer any more over it," she whispered. She got up, grabbing her purse. "You know where I'll be."

"With *him*," the other woman spat. "Go ahead, run to him." She turned her back on Buffy to look down at Oz. "Aren't you going too?"

Oz shook his head. "I can't leave you. You know that."

Buffy nodded, heading up the stairs. "I have my phone," she said quietly.

Oz watched her go, not wanting to let her divide them further, let her hurt Willow any more. "Be careful," he called.

She stopped, looked at them, and nodded. "Always."

Willow fell back down onto the bed and started to cry. Oz gathered her to him, rocking her gently, calming her with soft sounds and words meant to ease the pain a little.

' ' ' '

Buffy knocked on the door but no one let her in. She started to use the key, but she hesitated. Did she really have the right to walk in there like she once had? The pictures from his graduation haunted her, his world weary look and the weight loss bothering her more than the small scars. She knocked one last time, and when no one answered she turned to leave. She was stopped at the landing by the building's manager, who opened the door for her and pushed her inside without a word. She could hear some sort of lock being put on from the outside but nothing else.

"Xander," she called softly. She heard a noise from the bedroom so headed that way. "Hey," she said at the door. "The manager let me in."

He nodded but didn't look up from his magazine.

"Could we ... talk, maybe." She looked down at the floor, not wanting to see the rejection. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. Today I mean. I should have been. I almost was, but I couldn't leave Willow crying like that."

Xander stood in front of her, pulling her face up. "I understand," he whispered. "And I have something to break the lock so you can leave too." He walked around her, grabbing the tool box.

"What if I don't want to? I mean, we're supposed to be friends, no matter how bad of one I've been, and I want to talk. You remember when we did that right?" She hurried on when he didn't so much as twitch. "Please remember when we did that," she said at last. She sat down on a couch, looking around. "What happened?"

"I threw a fit and tossed it." He opened the door as much as he could. "Come here and hold the door so I can crack the lock."

She shook her head. "I'd like to stay for a while."

He slammed the door. "Okay, whatever." He tossed her the tool and went back to the bedroom. "You know where I am."

She laid the bolt cutter down so she could go lie down beside him. "I'm sorry," she started. "I don't know why I followed them, but I did and I was wrong." He didn't move, reading his article. She took it gently from his hands. "Would you please talk to me?"

Xander rolled to face her. "Why? You've said what you needed to so you can clear your conscience. What else do you want?" He got up and started to walk around the room that used to seem so full to him. "What else do you need from me to make you feel better? An apology because I inherited something? Groveling at your feet for some of your precious time? What Buffy, what do you need to make you feel better?" He stopped, turning to face her. "What?"

She shook her head. "The old Xander back, but I guess we did him in." She got up. "I'm sorry, I'm trying, but I'm still sorry." She walked out and he could hear the bolt snap.

He heard the door shut and fell to the floor, exhausted and tired and hurting all at once. "What?" he asked himself.

' ' ' '

Joyce looked up hopefully at her daughter. "Would you like to take some cookies the next time?"

"There won't be a next time," she said quietly, slamming the basement door behind her. She walked down to see her stuff all pushed to one side. "What? Now I'm a defector too?" She stared down Willow. "Tell me now, 'cause I can always move up to the attic." She put her hands on her hips to wait.

Oz patted the bed beside them. "What happened?"

Buffy sighed as she laid on his chest. "He's in so much pain he can't see ours. He asked.... asked me what I needed to feel better." She started to sniffle. "I wanted so much to hit him for asking that, but he was in so much pain. Nothing's the same. New paint. Nothing on the walls. Everything's gone but the little stars on the ceiling in the bedroom and the tapestry I gave him. There were boxes piled on and around the table and I saw the edge of the statue in one of them." She wiped her cheeks off. "I didn't know what to say when he refused to accept my apology and started to yell. We killed him. His eyes, everything about him, says he's dead."

Oz frowned at his fiancee, who was laying on his other side. "Not a good thing." Willow at least nodded her agreement. "Maybe I should go over."

"We," Buffy said. "One of us won't do it." She looked over at Willow. "Would you like to come with us?" The younger woman shook her head. "Okay, whenever you're ready I'll go with you if you want."

"I'm not going," Willow said, getting up to head upstairs.

Oz looked down at Buffy. "She won't even talk about her childhood now because everything is associated with him." He stroked his fingers through the not so soft hair. "What do we do?"

"We get her to go with us," she said simply. "It was them that started it and they need to end it."

"It'll end them."

"No, it might reforge them and let us all get over it."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"Then we keep each of them watched until we can try again." She looked up. "I can't live like that anymore. It's too hard."

He nodded, pushing her head back down. "Me either Buff, me either." He started to pet her hair again, trying to take some comfort from it.

' ' ' '

Oz kept looking at his watch. It was the Sunday before the first official day of spring break and they had all agreed to go back to talk to Xander today. Even Willow had agreed after being forced to look at the graduation photos. It was almost noon so he was sure the younger man would be up by now. "Come on," he called to Buffy. "It's not like we're visiting royalty." He rolled his eyes. She came back out, dressed up. "Why are you dressed so formally. We should all be wearing the same stuff we used to wear on sundays." He looked down at his jeans and sweatshirt. "Never mind, let's just go."

They gathered Willow from the kitchen and headed out, opting to walk the few blocks. Buffy let them in since she still had the spare key, and they quickly ascended the stairs.

A loud voice from the bottom stopped them. "He's not here. He went away for a week or so he said." The group of three turned to look at the building manager. "He said he was going to the beach." He shrugged, going back inside his apartment.

Buffy sat down on the stairs, putting her head in her hands. "We're too late," she whispered.

Oz touched the top of her head. "He's fine, just wanted to get away."

"He doesn't like the beach," Willow said, "not as a travel for fun destination. He likes to go places where there are fun things to do besides burn in the sun and look at people who shouldn't wear bikini's." She sat down beside Buffy. "This is my fault, all of it."

Oz got frustrated. "It's all of our faults," he yelled. He headed up the stairs. "Maybe he left a note."

"For who?" Buffy asked. "Fuzzy?"

"Maybe," Oz called. "This is all a little convenient." He opened the door and looked around it, 'ah-ah' ing as he pulled down the paper. "He did leave us a note." He sat down beside them to open the envelope carefully. "Dear, guys," he read. "The stuff you left is in the boxes, take whatever you want. I'll be back sometime soon and really don't want the memories. Have fun with your lives and do good in them. Xander." He crumpled up the note and swore, colorfully, under his breath.

Buffy took the paper, smoothing it out so she could read it. "He was drunk again, the writing's so sloppy." She took the key, heading back up the stairs. "Besides, I left my diary," she rationalized She walked in, looking at all the stuff that had once made the place a home now in boxes. She walked into the bedroom, picking her way through the dirty clothes as she went over to the bed. She reached under the mattress for her diary and came up with one that wasn't hers. She opened the cover, thinking the simple notebook might be Oz's but the handwriting inside was distinctively Xander's. She sat down to read it, wondering what was going on in his mind.

Willow walked in to find her, not wanting to but her curiosity over Buffy's prolonged absence getting to her finally. She sat down beside the older woman, looking over her shoulder. "Xander kept a diary?" she asked, surprised. Maybe there were many things she didn't know about her oldest friend.

"And he's seriously depressed, drinking again," Buffy said. "He's gone to a small town in the mountains. There's a carnival there this weekend that he has happy memories from as a kid. He left Friday." She closed the journal then grabbed hers. "Come on, we can make it there in a few hours." She pulled Willow with her, running into Oz in the hall. "Come on, I know where he is."

"Does it say he wants us there?"

"Do I care?" she yelled, nasty for once. "I don't care what he wants, I'm going. If you want to come, you can drive part of the trip. I'm taking my car as it's the most comfortable but you can stay and wallow in self pity for all I care." She walked out, slamming the door behind her.

Oz looked at his fiancee, the only reason he wasn't following Buffy down the stairs and asking particulars. "Do we go?" Willow nodded slowly so he sighed in relief. "Come on, we've got to get home before she does or else we'll end up following in your car." He pulled her out the door, trusting the manager to lock the door since they didn't have the key.

' ' ' '

Oz looked around the town and smiled. This town just screamed 'raise kids here' to him. He got out, holding the door for Willow. Buffy got out from behind the wheel and strode toward the boarding house in a wide, purposeful stride. The couple followed her, more sedately, Oz pointing out things he had noticed to his woman. They made it inside to hear the woman say she had one room open.

"Okay, well, are there two beds or one?"

The woman smiled. "One large one. Are your friend's married?"

"Engaged," Oz said. "But I'll gladly give the girls the bed and sleep on the floor if it's a problem."

The woman waved a hand. "I'm sure that's not necessary. I'm sure you three wouldn't break the town's decency laws." She handed over the book so Buffy could sign in. "I'm wondering why you're here. There's the carnival or is that young man a friend of yours?" She leaned down and smiled. "I saw him looking at a picture of people that looked just like you last night."

Willow nodded. "We need to see him and apologize because I'm stupid," she said quietly.

The older woman patted her arm. "I'm sure it wasn't just your fault, but he's at the carnival. I convinced him to go have some fun instead of look out his window at it." She looked at the book then took the money. "Anything else you need?"

Oz shook his head. "Can we park outside?"

"Yup, free parking unless there's a blizzard, then you'll get eaten by the plow." She handed him the key. "Have a nice day and check the anger reducing sites. I'd say he'd be at one." She walked away, leaving them to their own devices.

"So, room first or go find him?"

Willow raised her hand. "I'd like to lay down while you two go find him." She smiled. "I didn't get much sleep on the ride up."

Buffy handed her the keys, room and car's. "Okay, we'll be out looking for him. You go nap and if you feel like it, bring the bags up." She and Oz walked out, arm in arm.

Willow turned back to the woman behind the counter. "They'll go find him." She walked lifelessly up the stairs.

"Hopefully before you and he die," she said quietly.

' ' ' '

Buffy and Oz broke up to look at all the games of skill, anything that required force to do, something he could work out his aggression on. She found Xander at the ball toss, warding off another stuffed animal. She smiled in relief as she walked over, putting down her dollar. She threw three perfect ones then turned to look at him, giving him the stuffed animal. "Thanks," she called over her shoulder.

Xander looked at his little pile and sighed. "I was trying to create a stuffed animal bed to sleep on. It's supposed to be comforting."

"Then I'll get Oz to pick them up." She waved at the older man, nodding back toward the booth. "You can have mine too if you want."

He shook his head. "I knew I should have put that damned book someplace else." He sat down on a bench and looked up at her. "Go home."

"Wherever you are is home," Oz said from behind him. "Your aim's gotten better." He handed Buffy the pile of stuffed animals. "Can we talk?"

Xander waved a hand around, "Sure, I'll even let you buy me lunch." He got up, walking over to the pretzel and pizza stand. "One slice please."

Oz ordered for both himself and Buffy, paying gladly before leading the younger man to a picnic table. "So," he said. He took a bite and looked down. "I'm an ass and Willow's worried herself sick." He reached for Xander's hand. "I'm sorry. I don't even know why I was mad, well besides coming home to find her in tears and drunk." He looked up, slight smile. "She doesn't do either very well."

Xander took a bite. "I know but it's all still the way it was. No change." He poured some salt on the pizza then bit into it again. "Any other reason to come trekking this far for spring break instead of the nearest beach?"

Buffy took the food away from him. "We're all sorry, Willow just couldn't take much more so she's laying down." He looked seriously worried at that. "Yeah, she's still sick with worry and it's getting worse. Oz is having to stay with her whenever I can't because she's not strong enough to get out of bed most days." She gave him back the pizza, taking his hand instead. "Would you at least sit and argue with us? Do you have enough life left in you to do that?"

Oz turned the younger man's head. "She's right, you and Willow both look like the walking dead." He shook his head. "I've seen dead things in lab classes that looked better." He switched slices with Xander. "You probably don't need any more salt."

The younger man looked down at the table. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but..."

"It was for the best. I can't imagine us chasing you half-way across the state this time last year or even before Christmas if we had found out then." Buffy stroke the hand she held. "Come back to the boarding house and talk to us? Please?" He nodded and they all got up, Oz grabbing something for Willow. They walked the short block and a half back to the building and stopped.

"Oh, shit," Oz said.

Outside the building was an ambulance. Nobody was in sight so maybe it wasn't her. They hurried inside, the police officer stopping them.

"We just need to know if it's the young woman we're with," Buffy said. "Red hair, my age?" The officer shook his head. "Can we go up to our room then?" He let them go, Oz rushing up the stairs to make sure.

He burst through the door, making Willow sit up and rub her eyes. "Oh, thank you. It wasn't you." He kneeled beside the bed and handed her the food. "Xander and Buffy are on their way up, so please eat?"

She nodded, taking a bite. "Happy?"

"Not really," Xander said from the doorway. "You need it, eat." She patted the side of the bed and he nodded, coming over to sit beside her. "Eat, for me?" She finished off the piece of pizza quickly, offering him her crust, just like old times.

Xander took it, eating it slowly. "I'm sorry," he started, but she covered his mouth with her hand.

"No, I am. I'm stupid and it shouldn't have mattered." She laid her head on his shoulder. "Can we work it out now?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, soothing her into sleeping. "Sure, whenever you wake up." He leaned back to let her get the first real sleep she'd had in weeks. The first for both of them.

' ' ' '

Xander looked across the table at his friends. "I say we all need a vacation." He looked around. "We all look like hell."

"Warmed up," Buffy said. She smiled. "It's good to have you back with us, but this is our vacation." She speared the piece of corn she had been chasing around for the last few minutes. "Ah-ha. Got it." She showed it off before eating it. "But it was a good one for us. Wasn't it?"

Oz nodded. "For all of us I would hope." He looked at Xander, waiting on his comment. It had been a tough three days but they had worked out most of the problems, including him learning some of what made the younger man who he was.

"Yeah, it was," came the soft reply. "Muchly needed and good all around." He squished some more of his mashed potatoes around. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat it," Willow said softly. "I won't unless you do." She took his hand, needing the contact. "Please?"

He nodded and ate a few more bites. "Happy?"

"More so but not really." She looked around to see if they were mostly alone. "I'd like to come home when we get there." The younger man nodded and she got up to come around so she could hug him. "Thank you," she whispered.

' ' ' '

Willow looked around the apartment, scrunching up her nose. "Xan, this is a gross color." She shook her head. "I knew that you were upset but to ruin the walls by putting fuschia on it was bad." She wrapped her arm around his waist. "What do you say to us painting it in our free time?"

"What free time?" Oz asked. "We all have some make up assignments to do." He frowned at Buffy. "At least those of us who didn't worry by doing homework in advance."

The young blonde dropped the box she was carrying. "Hey, I couldn't just sit there." She looked down at the box. "Come help?" He nodded so they made another trip to the van, Willow and Xander forbidden to pick up anything heavier than the pillows they should be sleeping on.

"So," he said nervously. "Which set of beds do you guys want?" He looked through the open door at the large bed.

She shook her head. "There's more than enough room in there for all of us and we'll be nice." She put her arm through his, dragging him in with her. "Matter of fact, we could all use a nap. Oz, let it go and come nap with us," she called.

Oz stuck his head in. "I will after this load and a shower. You two get the bed warmed up for us." He left to get another one, chasing Buffy back down the stairs.

Willow shook her head. "He missed doing stuff while I was in bed." She laid down, dragging the lighter Xander down with her. "Come sleep beside me?" He nodded, crawling across her body, settling down on his pillow. "Thank you." She rolled over to snuggle into his chest. "Wake me if I start to chew."

"Are you sure..."

"I'll back off if you want but you're sleeping in here with us. You agreed to try it." She looked up. "Please?" He nodded, giving in to the sight of her big eyes. "Thank you."

He held her, waiting until her breathing slowed. Pretty soon, her body spoke to his body and they were napping together, dreamlessly and comfortably.

Oz and Buffy looked in with a smile. "One more load?" he asked quietly. She shook her head, pointing to the shower. "You go ahead, I want a glass of juice." She shook her head, pulling him in with her. "Ah, yeah, this stuff." He held her tightly, letting her let go and shake. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she whispered. "It's a relief to see them like that. I just needed a hug." She pulled down her hair. "Want first or second shower?"

Oz shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I don't care if we take one together. Willow says I'm a good back washer."

Willow walked in, giving each one a kiss. "Go for it," she whispered. "Just keep it down. We're trying to make up for lost sleep." She got a drink then walked back out. "Hurry up," she called. "I've got to use the room too."

Oz and Buffy walked out, letting Willow use the bathroom. They went back in, smiling at the running fan and the incense burning. They stripped each other, stepping under the hot water, nothing sexual about it. All they needed was the comfort of touch to know that they weren't alone anymore.

' ' ' '

Xander woke up warm, feeling surprisingly safe and well cared for. He craned his head around to find the heat source behind his back, smiling at the almost naked Buffy that was curled against him. He looked over to see the body that was usually behind Willow, then wondered where Oz was. He looked out the open door, listening for any noise, but there wasn't any. "I guess he's gone again," Xander whispered. He closed his eyes, starting to snuggle down again, but a glance of something made him look down beside the bed again. "Hey, Fuzzy," he whispered. "You're welcome to come sleep with us." He patted the bed, but the cat didn't jump up. "Do I owe you an apology too? I'm sorry I acted like that then ran away." The grey cat jumped up, settling its mostly lithe body into the space between his and Willow's body, proceeding to purr like it had just been invented.

Xander smiled happily as he looked at most of his adopted family.

' ' ' '

Oz sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "We're all really sorry we did that to him. We've worked it out though. You can ask him when he gets up if you want." He looked around. "Where's Fuzzy?"

"She went upstairs to make sure he was all right." He shrugged. "I mean it. If you hurt that boy again, I will find something that can take care of him better and deal with all of you for hurting him." He handed over the keys grudgingly. "Are we clear?" Oz nodded. "I'm glad. Now, send my cat back down if she's so inclined, but go take a nap. You look like you could use one." He patted the younger man's shoulder before he walked away.

Oz walked upstairs, not really surprised to find the cat in the bed. "Did you want to stay or go?" he asked her quietly. She meowed and butted Xander's chest with her head. "Don't blame you. Just yell when you want to leave." He looked at the body situation, deciding to take Buffy's place as she had moved a few feet toward the edge. "Night guys," he said as he crawled over them. He laid down, taking a firm hold around the younger man's waist. He closed his eyes and soon joined them in their slumber.

' ' ' '

Giles looked down at the sleeping group and shook his head. "I don't believe this," he muttered. He stopped his fiancee from coming in, frowning at the young girl trying to catch a peek. "They're sleeping," he said.

Joyce rolled her eyes. "Well, it's a change at least. They must have worked something out."

"They're home," Marion pointed out. "Right where they belong." She looked around. "Should we help by unpacking?"

Joyce looked at the walls. "If I know my daughter, the first thing she'll do is repaint the walls so we should probably leave it." She looked at her betrothed. "Leave a note?"

He shook his head, turning to clear his throat loudly. "Feel better?" he asked the two pairs of eyes that appeared, belonging to three people. "We'll wait out here."

Joyce pulled him out to a couch. "You realize that this isn't a new thing? Her father caught them that day when he came over to get her."

Giles covered his eyes. "I had hoped that this latest tiff wasn't escalated by that."

Buffy walked out, blowing air kisses. "Not even, just feelings that were shattered." She walked into the kitchen her chest barely covered by a sheer shirt and a skimpy pair of panties rounding out the outfit. "Soda, soda, soda, here soda," she called, whistling for the can. She finally found a can and popped it open as she walked back to her room. "We'll be out in a minute. Will's still not up yet." She closed the bedroom door behind her.

Marion started to giggle. "I wonder if she realizes what she was wearing." She covered her mouth, looking out the window.

"Well, that was a side I'm not used to seeing from her." Joyce shook her head. "As if those films weren't enough."

Marion tapped her on the shoulder. "Some were most educational."

Giles groaned. "Which is something you neither needed or craved until you had seen one. They're addicting."

Willow walked out and sat down beside him on the couch. "Not really. Just clean fun. No harm, no foul, and no diseases." She winked at Marion. "So, why the early morning visit?"

Joyce pointedly looked at her watch. "You've not been turned, right?" She looked over the young woman, seeing the still too pale skin. "Are you sure?"

Buffy walked out, putting an arm around her. "It's exhaustion and lack of food," she said. "Xander dragged her too skinny butt the doctor's."

"Where he got yelled at too," Oz pointed out. He wrapped an arm around Buffy's waist. "We're all nice, normal college kids," he assured them. "Even him," he nodded back toward Xander.

Xander shook his head. "Lies, all of it. I'm not nice or normal." He kissed Marion's and Joyce's cheek. "Thanks," he told the older woman quietly.

Giles cleared his throat. "Would you like to come over for supper? I believe it's pot roast?"

Buffy smiled. "With the little potatoes?" Her mother nodded so she looked down at her bathrobe, Xander having mentioned what she was wearing. "Let me go get presentable." She ran into the bedroom, coming out a few minutes later clothed in an outfit Oz had helped her pick out.

Joyce leaned over to Willow. "That's your doing, isn't it?"

Oz shook his head. "Mine. Buffy and I are shopping buddies." He helped Willow up and wrapped an arm around each of them. "Van or car?"

"Well, you still have a couple of boxes," Joyce pointed out. "But tomorrow is Friday so we're okay."

Oz looked down at his watch in alarm. "We slept through a day?"

Giles nodded. "Hence our visit. Shall we?"

Xander nodded and helped Willow out, patting down his pockets to make sure he had his keys and wallet. Buffy handed them over then they left.

' ' ' '

Willow patted the table. "I hereby call the second house meeting to order." She waited until everyone was paying attention. "First order of business, these walls." She looked in disgust at the nearest one. "I know you were depressed but this is a bit psychotic looking and was a definite plea for help." Xander smiled. "Anyone got a clue for a color?"

Buffy pulled out her paint sample book from art appreciation and flipped to the colors she wanted. "How about this, a nice deep neutral." She flipped to where her thumb was. "Or this one?"

Xander pointed out a deep green. "I like that."

"But if we put that on the walls, it'll look like a cave in here," Willow pointed out. "Let's use that as a color in the room, but not the walls." She looked around for an okay, which she got. "Okay, so what about the dark tan?" Both the guys shuddered. "I'm guessing that's a no. How about the light teal?"

Both guys looked at each other, then around the room. "White," Oz suggest.

Xander took the book and flipped until he found one he liked. "How about this shade of gray. It'd go with most any other color, gives the warm tones, and is still pretty light." He looked up at the shock on his friend's faces. "What? It was decorating shows or soaps." He handed back the book.

"Which one?" He pointed it out again. "I like that one," Buffy said. "Nice, simple, can be elegant or us." She let the other two see. "Any objections?" Oz looked at it and shrugged, Willow smiling down at it. "Okay, so this is the color?" Everyone nodded and she circled it in purple marker. "Done, I'll go to the paint store in the morning."

Willow sat back down. "Okay, now onto the next order of business. Which was?" She looked around, but no one said anything. "Oh, yeah, I know. Sleeping arrangements. Did napping like that really bother you Xan?" He thought about it then shook his head. "Okay, then it's settled, it's to be like that until and unless we need some private time." She looked at Oz, who had his hand up. "Unless one of us is menstruating and he's in fuzzy form." He nodded.

"Well, I guess that means I won't have a bar in the middle of my back anytime soon." He got smiles for that. "Anything else?"

"Food," Buffy said. "It's not fair that you take care of us like little kids. I can heat up stuff with the best so I should have to take some turns too."

"I don't mind..."

"Xan, let me take of you for a change?" She gave him the deadly puppy eyes. "Okay?"

He nodded, letting it go. "So, what do I do instead?"

"Bathroom," Willow said. "It's your month anyway."

He nodded. "Okay, I will." He looked around the apartment. "We still have to unpack too."

"Let's leave it until we paint," Oz said. "We'd have to remove it all again when we do."

Everyone thought that was a wise idea and Oz called out for food since no one felt like cooking.

' ' ' '

Willow searched through all the accumulated photo albums, looking for a specific picture she knew should still be around somewhere. When she still hadn't found the one she was looking for, she settled on an older picture of Xander, from tenth grade it looked like. She took it out of the album, picked up the long ribbon and the extra locket she had found in his jewelry box.

"I bind you, Alexander Harris," she chanted, wrapping the locket and the picture together, firmly binding each pass. "I bind you from leaving us again so that we have to work things out." She wrapped another turn. "I bind you, Alexander Harris...."

When it was all done and the picture completely covered, she put it into the special wooden box she had bought just for this, hiding it someplace no one ever looked.

' ' ' '

Buffy looked around the student union but neither Will or Oz was there yet. She picked out her lunch then grabbed a table before the football players could merge it with their group's. She was picking at her salad when Oz leaned over her shoulder.

"You eat like a rabbit," he whispered, making her jump. "Sorry."

"S'okay, not a big. Where's Will?"

"In line. I'm sponging off her today." Buffy passed over half of her fries. "Thanks."

Willow sat down with a smile. "That had better not be your lunch, young man," she said.

Buffy looked over the younger woman, seeing the healthy glow and the happiness radiating from her eyes. She was glad that they had settled everything between them. She ate a tomato but grimaced at the texture.

"Frozen again?" Oz asked. She nodded as she delicately spit it into a napkin. "What are we doing tonight?"

Willow looked in her date book. "Um, I hate to mention this but tonight's the first night."

Oz shook his head. "Tomorrow. I checked this morning." She shook her head. "Then the weather channel was *wrong*?" He shook his head. "Who would've thought."

Buffy shook her head. "It's tonight, Giles called to remind me. Seems this month is a rare four day cycle." She pushed aside the rest of the salad, starting in on her burger. "Not my fault, don't give me that look. They happen every few years."

Willow started to giggle. "It's not her fault and yeah, he mentioned something to me too but I didn't understand." She bit into her sandwich then poured the ranch dressing into it. "So gross."

"Better than the crapeteria," Oz said. He pulled the rest of Buffy's salad over, eating it slowly. "You don't mind, right?"

She looked up, small grin gracing her features. "After..." He held up a hand to stop her, looking pointedly at all the people around them. "No, not at all." She looked around the room. "You know, I never realized how different we were from other people here. I thought I had a chance at normality." Oz started cough. "Don't laugh, it's true. I thought I could blend but I can't. No one else here is like us." She shrugged. "And there won't be another one until Marion get's here."

"She may not come here," Willow pointed out. "She didn't give up her Canadian citizenship and thinks she won't. She could go to school up there or in England or one of the other British holdings." She shook her head. "I can see her at Oxford."

Buffy thought about it. "Yeah, it would be good for her to be around other stiff people." She shook her head. "Some days it seems like she's a female Giles clone from when he first got here."

The young woman being mentioned sat down beside her. "Well, I have to protect my upbringing somehow." She patted Buffy's arm. "After all, we know your's was valley and surfers." She smiled. "See, not so stiff and formal."

Oz shook his head. "Except with non-members of the family." He waved his fork in her direction. "You were way stiff the other day in class."

She nodded. "Those kids don't like me at all." She shrugged, stealing a fry from Willow. "Not a big, as you all say." She looked around. "To be truthful, I would be more comfortable here. My mother was a college Librarian and my step-father was a History teacher." Willow offered her the other half of her sandwich. "Are you sure?" The older woman nodded, licking her fingers clean of ranch dressing. "Umm," she said as she bit into it. "This is good." She opened it to look down. "I never thought of this combination." She ate happily, nodding in time to the music playing over the loudspeakers.

Buffy smiled, shaking her head. "Well, we always knew that Willow wanted to be..." Oz kicked her under the table. "Sorry."

Willow patted her hand. "It'll happen some day." She went back to her cucumbers. "I wish they would peel these better."

"It's decorative," Marion said.

"It's bitter," Willow pointed out. "We're not supposed to be eating the rind." She cut the large pieces up, eating them delicately. "Why are you here?"

"Giles. He wanted me to come see someone up here to beg for a history text." She looked around. "Ah, I see just the man I'm supposed to beg for knowledge." She started to get up, but Oz stopped her, handing her a napkin. "Thanks." She wiped her mouth and hands quickly before walking calmly over to the elder man that had ruined many nights for both the older women.

"Well, if he needs obscure knowledge he's the one to ask." Buffy shuddered. "Did you know that he knows the names of all the Civil War guy's horses and pets?"

"Only the generals," Willow pointed out. She looked over her shoulder. "He's not in a good mood today either. Most of us flunked the test."

Buffy shook her head. "I got a 'C'. How 'bout you?"

"'B'. I screwed up the essay." She picked up the shake, drawing the thin liquid up. "I like the ones at the mall better."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, me too. You can have it, I refuse to drink another." She looked around then leaned closer. "I've got to work tonight."

Oz smiled. "Well, it's good that you enjoy your work." He patted her hand. "Are you taking the stuff back?"

"No, he said I can't do that. But I can pick up something since tonight's pay night." She shook her head at the down looking young woman coming back to them.

Oz nodded. "Okay, new movie. A fun one. I'll lay in your laps while you watch it." He looked up at Marion. "No joy?"

"He'll call Giles later to ask why he really wanted it. But he knew my father. He wondered if I was to attend here. Unfortunately, he thinks I'm my older sister." She sniffled for a second then brightened up by force. "But I'm not sure if I can go here."

Willow nodded and swallowed. "We can all see you in London at school."

Marion thought about it. "Nah, I don't like that city, too sprawling and foggy. Nice clubs if you're old enough but not for me. I prefer a quiet existence. Maybe Oxford if I get called to England."

Buffy nodded. "We could see you there, and it's still a hot bed area. Of *everything*." She wiped her mouth. "So, I get to go home then work, you two have classes. Can I drop you off?"

"I'll walk. It'll do me good."

"It's a few miles," Willow pointed out. "Grab the ride, you can walk from the apartment." She looked pointedly over the edge of the table. "Walking might be good but you shouldn't over do it."

Marion rolled her eyes. "Now you sound like mom." She looked stunned. "Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

The older woman patted the side of the younger girl's face. "She is and she deserves to be called such. I'm not upset." She cleared her throat. "Go grab some lunch and I'll drive." Marion nodded, heading up to the line. "I'm fine," she said. "It was just unexpected."

"It's cool though," Willow said. "It's good to have a family that likes you."

Buffy nodded, slight grin coming back out. "Yeah, we do do that."

' ' ' '

Buffy looked over the racks of movies, trying to find something new.

Nick cleared his throat as he walked up behind her, having learned to do that the hard way. "Can't find anything?" She shook her head. "Well, there's a new box of them in the back but most of them are the hardcore stuff and you don't seem into that."

Her eyes brightened. "New stuff?"

He pulled her with him. "Yeah, we get shipments every two weeks or so, remember." He pointed out the boxes. "Those two have some but the one on top is seriously hardcore material."

"And that would be..."

"Um, well let's just say it's not the stuff you want to watch. We're talking pain or extremes of pleasure and sometimes from funny things." He rubbed his arm, deep in thought. "It's all pretty normal if you're in the world but for a newbie it's not that common."

She opened the first box to pull one out, looking at the back. She shuddered as she put it back, going through the stacks to find something that she and the crew could watch. Finally she found two. "Well, this'll blow my pay but these look safe enough." She closed the box then looked down at it. "And you were right, some of that stuff is a bit hard and strange for my tastes."

He smiled, leading her back to the register. "I know. We're getting in a shipment in a few days of the other stuff but not much that's new." He rung her up, taking her money. "Okay." He handed her the bag as he leaned down on the counter. "You might try the shop over near the mall. They've got a good selection and if you find something there we can order it." He tapped the glass case he was leaning on. "It'll take a few days but we can order just about anything."

She smiled, patting the counter as she walked out. "Thanks Nick, see ya in two days."

He waved, waiting for the boss to come out of the office. "She's nice."

His lover turned him around and touched the mark. "And she's living with one like you but we both know who she is."

Nick shook his head. "She won't touch you, you know her rep. If she doesn't catch you hunting, you're fine." He stroked over the taunt, cold skin of his lover's throat. "You need me tonight, don't you." The vampire smiled, leading him back to the office, locking the door with the remote.

' ' ' '

Buffy walked through the apartment door and stopped. No Willow, no Xander, no fuzzy Oz. She dropped the package as she closed the door behind her, moving carefully toward the bedroom. She peeked around the edge of the door and sighed. Oz was laying on the bed, sniffing the sheets. She could see the sliver of light from under the bathroom door. "I'm home," she said.

"Have a nice night?" Xander called. He stuck his head out, shaving cream on his face. "Oz snarled at her once too many times so she's downstairs." He withdrew back into the bathroom. "He's had his tranq and we're fine though."

She nodded, sitting on the bed. "Hey Oz," she said, reaching a hand out slowly to pet him. He snarled but let her. "How are we tonight?"

The werewolf sniffed at the sheets then at her. He ended up in her lap, rubbing the side of his head on her thigh, nose pointed toward her stomach.

"I'd say we were happy," Xander said, coming out to sit across from her. He got a few sniffs in his direction. "I'll call her if you want to watch tapes now."

Buffy shook her head, pulling down her ponytail. "I need to eat first. I forgot to grab something before I left." She shook out her hair, combing through it with her fingers. "Not a bad day. Got two new ones out of the new shipment. Most of it was stuff I'd never understand so I picked the mildest ones I could." She looked down at the head in her lap. "Is this a good idea, what with him like this?"

Xander shrugged. "I'm assuming it'd be okay. He shouldn't react any differently now than usual."

"Have you seen usual?" Willow asked, walking in with Buffy's bag. "These look different."

"I picked the gentle ones, the ones that I could find anyway." She shrugged, moving her leg, prompting Oz to move his head. "Let me go munch and I'll be right back." She walked out, leaving the threesome to their own devices.

Xander looked at the tape cases and smiled. "Well, it's different. I'm sure it's not that hardcore." He shivered. "I rented one of those by accident. I still remember it."

"Was it bad," Willow asked quietly, moving up to sit beside him. "Was it mean or was it rough?"

"Oooh, I'd say rough. It was fisting and stuff but they all looked like they enjoyed it really rough and hard." He tossed the boxes to the bedspread. "How are we going to do this without him wanting to jump you?"

She smiled. "I'm sure it won't happen."

' ' ' '

Oz woke up in the bathroom, disoriented. Why was he in here? He grabbed a mostly whole towel to wrap around his waist before he unlocked the door, going out to the bedroom. Looking out at the devastation of the room, he started to get flashes of what had happened.

Buffy petting his head as Willow kissed her.

Xander pulling him off the girls, getting pulled off the bed by his struggling body.

Him going for Willow. Trying to claim her as his mate.

He shook his head, dispelling the images. He looked down at his friends seeing the scratches that hadn't been there, the torn sheets, the tossed clothes. He noticed the ejected tape and frowned. "Damn," he whispered.

Xander jumped up to face him. "Oh, god, it's morning. We thought you might have gotten out again." He rubbed his eyes, motioning for the older man to come over to him. "We're not doing that again, not while you're fuzzy." He grabbed the sides of Oz's head, making him look him in the eyes. "Nothing happened. I don't know what you remembered but none of it was bad, no one was hurt beyond a scratch." He smiled. "You and Willow might want to have a talk but we're all mostly in the same condition we were last night." He pointed at the bed. "Down."

Oz shook his head. "I'm not obedience trained," he muttered. He laid down, snuggling up behind his fiancee. "Morning, Will," he whispered. "I'm sorry for whatever I did." She rolled in his arms, smiling into his chest. He got another flash, this one of him kneeling over top of her, panting. "No, I'm not doing that again. We can go back to the cage." He hugged her close, tightly holding onto the most important thing in his life. "Never again," he promised her.

Willow looked up, patting his chest. "I don't like your fuzzy form that much but we don't need the cage. We just need to pick the entertainment better." She grinned. "No more Discovery Channel for you, Oz." She tapped the end of his nose. "It was bad enough when you tried to get into the movie but the mating animals special was what drove you insane."

"We should ban all educational channels in the house," Buffy said, rolling over. "It's a bad, a big bad, when it does that to you." She reached over Willow, patting his head. "Don't make me lock you in the bathroom again please." She closed her eyes, falling back to sleep.

He snuggled down. "I won't. I didn't know what I was doing." He rubbed Willow's face with his. "I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

Xander leaned over his shoulder. "The mating animals got to you. You were fuzzy. It's a natural thing when your mate's in heat to want to do that to her. We don't blame you for it and I'll beat you if you get overly upset." He patted the strong shoulder then he left to make breakfast. He stopped to watch the alarm clocks start to go off, Buffy slamming hers hard enough to break it then throwing it across the room, Willow moaning before bouncing hers on the bed to shut it off. "Breakfast and coffee soon," he promised quietly.

"I'll do it," Buffy said, struggling to get up.

"Lay back down, I'll get it." He closed the door behind him, not wanting the noise he would make in the kitchen to disturb the snooze period.

' ' ' '

Oz walked in, dropping his bag on the small table. He flopped down onto one of the futons and proceeded to bury his head in the younger man's lap.

"Bad day, Oz?" Xander asked. He continued to flip through his magazine.

"Would you shoot me if I asked?"

"No, not really. You know I'm not into that." He reached down, stroking through the soft hair. "What happened with Snyder this time?"

"He's an ass." He flipped over to look up at the younger man while he recounted his day of observing. "First period, he calls a fire drill then wonders who pulled the alarm when the Chemistry lab went up because he didn't warn the teacher not to work." He sighed. "It lasted most of the morning, so I was expected to keep my students interested, even though none of the other teachers were trying to hold class." He covered his eyes. "We get back inside for first lunch then the lunch ladies walk out because all their things were either sprayed with the fire foam or burned in the ovens because they couldn't take them out. They had a knock down fight with Snyder in front of all the kids, him losing, before walking out. Then," he laughed a little, sourly, "then Giles gets fired because he's not willing to play Snyder's game anymore. Snyder demanded that he not bring anything in to work on while he was doing nothing else. He tried to take the book away from him. He ripped a page then almost got eaten by the thing that got released in front of a hall full of students. He fired him after he had been saved by the man." He shook his head. "Giles said he'd gotten a better offer from a real school up on the hill and they were more than ready to deal with the reality of the area. Seem's they're a mixed school. They offer degrees but also lower forms of education. One stop educational shopping."

Xander nodded, putting down his magazine. "So, G-man's going up to that private school. Is Marion going too?"

Oz nodded. "I talked to him on the way home. He's got it all arranged for her to go too; she'll be in the college prep courses Will shoulda been in." He wiggled some, getting comfortable. "Then Snyder looks at me, asks if I'm going to defect too then why can't I be 'normal'." He did the little finger quotes. "So, I told him. And he freaked."

"Was that wise?"

"Doesn't matter. I don't have to deal with it anymore. I've got an offer to go up there too. They're starting a specialty band program and I've been offered a teaching/learning position. The only 'but' to it is that I have to learn to play the piano." He shrugged. "I told them I'd discuss it tonight and get back to them by the end of the week."

"Classes?"

"I can take them all up there, as can Willow and Buffy, and have credit above and beyond what I need." He moved his hand to look up. "She, the Headmistress, described the system as an advanced program of over-achievers that are doing college work in Junior High. They expect their teachers to not only have personal creativity and self-expression but also a higher level of intelligence and a thirst for knowledge." He grinned. "My type of place. Even the uniforms aren't too bad, almost normal enough not to suck. Short skirts and vests for Will and Buffy, pants and a collarless shirt for guys. No ties for teachers." He spread out his hands. "What do you think?"

"I like the idea but I was thinking about applying to the college myself for next fall. They may not have anything for me." He shrugged. "Not that it would be any different than this year."

Oz smiled. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention your part. They're working on an engineering/design program so you were offered also. Seems the Headmistress Winters is a big fan of Giles and she knows the lay of the land."

Xander shook his head. "More strange stuff?"

"Not really. I know the area and it's pretty nice. Lots of woods. Group of Wiccans that practice in the school itself. Nice grounds, horses. Decent wages and classes at the same time."

Xander poked him. "Would Buff have to give up her part time job?"

Oz groaned as he picked up one of the decorative pillows, hitting the younger man in the chest. "So bad."

"Me?" The innocent look he gave cracked Oz up, making him laugh hard enough to roll off the couch.

' ' ' '

Giles looked around at his family. "Well, I've decided to take the job at the preparatory academy. It comes with the most benefits and is in a much safer area." He held Joyce's hand. "We've talked this over, with Marion also as she's going up there with me."

Buffy smiled. "I'd heard that we were offered positions in their college programs." She looked over at Oz. "But I want to hear more."

The Watcher nodded. "I have the information for you. For all of you actually. There's a Design program that is self-paced that would fit Xander, a design-it-for-yourself one for Willow. An excellent one in Accounting for you dear that lets you take any outside courses you want. There's a Nationally accredited Music program and Oz has been offered the position to take over the Specialty Bands program, with a few stipulations."

"Jazz, performance, unusual instruments. There's even a few rock groups that are started out of it." He drank some of his juice. "Ew, what flavor is this?" He looked down at the glass in distress.

"Papaya Strawberry?" Marion guessed. "At least from the color." He silently handed her the glass, which she smiled and drank from. "See, not so bad."

"Tasted like a lifesaver." He shook his head. "I'd like to at least try it this summer. They're having a small summer school class so I could be up there then." He touched Willow's shoulder. "Also, I'd still get two weeks off and a *real* paycheck while I finished my degree."

His fiancee smiled. "That would be nice. And the program that I could get into? It's a design your own major thing?"

"Yes, it seems that you can combine any and all computer things that you wanted with the humanities that you wanted more. You could earn a double degree, as long as you keep your grades up, and then transfer a few credits towards a Masters." Giles smiled. "Not that your grades would be a problem."

Xander raised a hand. "I would get to design my little heart out and they wouldn't lay claim to it?"

Oz shook his head. "It's like a degree in 'Independent Projects'. You have to finish so many a semester and turn them in for grades. You keep them all. Ms. Winters even told me that a few National Engineering Award winners in Britain and Canada have come from that program.."

Xander looked interested, but.... "So, what's the catch?"

"Financial Aid?" Willow suggested. "Usually it's harder to get it for a private school, or at least so I've heard."

"Grants and scholarships," Joyce said. "I asked her about it. It's run by a religious organization that promotes equality and educational excellence for women. There are a few men, mostly of the non-converted member's families, but they're desperate to get the word out that they exist. Seems they run a ton of schools throughout Europe, in all grade categories, and a few here but no one here knows that they exist. That whole school up there has just under two hundred people in it." She sipped at her juice. "Seemed like it was too good to be true, but I checked it out in the art world. Some very good artists have come from there as well as some very prominent business women."

Willow nodded. "I'd like to look around. It seems ideal, but I've learned that's not possible."

Oz pouted. "And here I thought I was." He glanced over at his mate. "You mean I'm not?"

"Well, except for that one flaw you are." She smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I miss you those nights you're fuzzy," she whispered, taking a lick of his ear.

He shivered. "I'm looking but nothing seems to be curing it."

Giles shook his head. "Enough of that." He frowned until the two younger people stopped cooing at each other. "This is serious here."

"I want to look it over," Xander said. "I'm with Will on this."

Buffy nodded. "Me too. I'm wary of situations that look too good." She tapped out a rhythm on the table. "And I'd probably have to give up my part time job too."

"I thought you were going to work study."

"They wanted me to work in an office during class hours mom." She shook her head. "Not for me. I can't do both."

"Your job would be?" Giles asked, looking interested. He hadn't heard anything about a job either and she never seemed to have time conflicts.

"Doing books in a retail place." She drank some of her water as she stared at the two guys that started to snicker.

Joyce looked at both the young men. "Would you like to elaborate before I ask one of them?"

Buffy shook her head. "Not really and neither do they." She stared hard at Xander. "It's a little nothing job. Barely minimum wage and part time. I get a discount, that's it. Nothing major."

Giles groaned, knowing suddenly where she was working. "Tell me I'm incorrect about your placement."

"I don't know. Mind reading isn't a Slayer talent." Buffy got up to get some more water, Giles following her over. "Yeah, it is. No, I don't want her to know. Okay? End of discussion?"

He shook his head. "Not even close. We'll be talking later." He went back to the table. "Nothing harmful or dangerous," he told Joyce. "I'm sure it's good experience for her also."

Buffy's mother nodded slowly. "I'm sure." She looked at her daughter. "I'm very sure it is."

Buffy smiled sweetly. "Yeah, and on to the other new business." She looked around the table. "How are we Marion?"

"Pregnant. It's kicking something fierce."

Buffy smiled. "Isn't that what a baby's supposed to do?" The younger slayer nodded. "Then all must be well." She drank some more of her water.

Willow raised a hand. "I don't know where this place is. Are we talking up by the woods that everyone warns you about?"

"Yeah, up near my work," Buffy said. "Matter of fact, about three miles from it."

Willow scrunched up her face. "Oh, that place. That's a school?"

Giles nodded. "As you can tell, they need a much better PR program but yes, it is up there. That old building with all the ivy is the school." He looked around. "So, then, we're all agreed that you'll think about it and go up to look the place over?"

Everyone nodded.

"Then, this meeting is adjourned," Joyce said. She pulled her daughter out of the room.

All the others just sat there, waiting for the yelling to begin.

"So, retail out on that road? The only place I know of is that shop that sells all the pornographic material." She looked at her only natural child's face. "If you tell me you're working there, I'll be very upset."

"I'm doing the books, mom, not making the films. It's nothing but a job. A fun job. One of the cashiers is about my age and he's helped me learn a lot." She flopped down into the nearest chair, letting her legs swing over the arm. "It's a decent job and before you say it, they're more of a gay store than a degrading to women store."

"It doesn't matter," her mother said. "It's still not right. I raised you better." She sat down, knocking her child's feet from the arm. "Don't sit like that." She waited for her eldest to compose herself. "How long?"

"Before break, almost a month now." She shrugged. "Not a big. Four hours a day, three days a week I sit in the office, punching numbers into a computer. I get my money and we shop on it."

Joyce shook her head. "I would've thought I raised you better than to support that industry." She held her forehead and covered her eyes. "You know that most of those models are underage runaways."

"Not the ones I've seen."

"That doesn't reassure me." She looked over at her child. "Not in the least. How did you find out about it?" she asked quietly.

"I went in with Oz and Xan when they returned some stuff that we had been reading and watching. I enjoyed being in there, it's got a nice, warm atmosphere instead of a cold, perverted one. I filled out an application and got the job a few days later. I do good work and I have fun learning about the regular customers and myself."

Her mother nodded. "I guess you could look on it as a study in humanity's underbelly."

"Mom, normal people read and watch that stuff too. Not just the flashers out on the street that you used to warn me about. I've seen half the teachers in the high school in there along with the new Mayor and a few of your friends. Nice normal people like me. If you don't like my job, that's fine but I won't let you continue to discriminate against those of us that want a safe outlet for our sexuality." She got up, kissing the top of her mother's head. "When you're ready to discuss this like an adult, you know where I live." She walked back to the kitchen. "Ready to head home?"

Xander nodded but Oz and Willow were absorbed in a game with Marion and Giles. "Guys, keys," he said, putting them in front of Oz. "Bring the car home." He took Buffy's arm so they could walk the few blocks. They entered the apartment, sitting down and leaning against each other.

"She wasn't happy," Buffy said. "I told her to call me when she was ready to discuss it like an adult and to quit being so discriminatory about it." She sighed, leaning harder against the man beside her. "Can I ask you a few questions that have been going through my head all night?"

"Sure, anything. I'll even try to answer." He sat up, smiling as Buffy fell into his lap. "You know, if you had done that in high school you might not've walked away with any wearable clothes."

She smiled as she rolled over so she could look at him. "Yeah, I know. I just figured out what Oz likes about this position, even if the looking up the nose thing is gross." He tipped his head down, watching his hand play with her hair. "Very nice," she purred.

He leaned closer. "And you said women don't purr," he teased. She scratched lightly over the side of his neck. "What did you want to know?"

"Guy secrets, gay guy secrets." She cleared her throat. "Watching all those tapes has made me realize that I'm horribly unprepared to do most anything besides lay there and take it." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I am. I don't have a clue how they do some of those things, and they're the simple things."

"Things like..." he prompted when she hadn't elaborated in a few minutes.

"Well, you know that sucking thing?" He nodded. "How do you do that?"

He twitched, the flash of an image running through him. When he could see straight again, he looked back down. "I can't help you with that one, I've only received." He shrugged. "I'm guessing that the angle would be important and that you would have to do something about the feeling of gagging once it hits the back of your tongue."

She nodded. "I got that much, but how do you take it all? I've only gotten a few inches in and it was too much."

"Well, I would have to say that some people can't do that." He went back to stroking through her hair. "I don't think I could."

She smiled. "For the right person maybe." He shook his head. "Why not?"

"Well, if you stop to think about it, that's pretty gross." She looked confused. "Think about it for a minute." She did then started to blush. "Yeah, that stuff. I can't see how people do that."

She wiggled around some. "I can see that. I guess if it was clean it wouldn't be so bad though." She looked up at him. "What have you done?"

"Ah, the personal questionnaire. Did you want to know specifics of position and things?"

"Would you tell me if I asked?" He nodded. "Then I'm asking that."

"Well, I've been a bottom with the guy. Did you want to know the full history?" She shook her head. "Didn't think so. Spike was the only one and I only got to bottom. I suggested topping and he danced around the subject." He cleared his throat. "I've not done a whole lot of positions. On my back, my stomach, held up in the air with my legs around his waist." She was blushing. "Too much?"

She shook her head. "No, not really. It's good to know that you're not the all experienced person that I always imagined you to be. I thought it would have been a real swinging orgy sort of thing."

He shook his head. "Nope, mostly soft and gentle. Then a bite in the middle of getting off." He rubbed the spot on his chest in remembrance. "It was nice, but looking back it was about as fulfilling as playing with a toy." He grimaced. "At least then I can do it at my speed and pleasure myself."

"You've been doing a lot of that recently." She nodded toward the bedroom. "Almost every day from the changing sheets."

"Well, dear, I didn't think you'd want to sleep on it." He tweaked the end of her nose. "What else can I elaborate for you?"

"Why haven't you taken up any of the guys that have hit on you?" She played with the hem of his shirt. "I know Nick, the guy at the store, hits on you and I know a few in the mall have. I know one guy even hit on you in the Bronze the last time we were there."

"Because they don't interest me," he said with a sigh. "I want to find someone that understands me, male or female, and would be accepting of what we have. That last part is hard enough to come by. Not too many people will accept our closeness and still be with someone."

Buffy nodded. "Okay, that's reasonable but if you found someone would you go for them? I mean, you'd have to almost quit letting me sleep next to you or it'd be awkward."

He tapped her forehead. "That's why they'd have to understand." He smiled. "Any other questions?"

She nodded. "One. Why not take Oz and Willow up on their offer? It seems like the ideal solution." She waited patiently for him to come up with an answer.

"Because that's not me," he said. "Now then, are you going to come in and talk to me while I soak?" She rolled off his lap onto the floor. "Are you sure?" She nodded before heading to the kitchen. "Okay, you know where I'll be if you want to talk."

She pulled out a can of soup. "I'm going to warm a snack. Can I pour you some?" Xander shook his head as he walked through the bedroom door. "Okay."

' ' ' '

Xander leaned against the bathroom door for a second. How should he have answered her? That he wanted to but he was afraid? That he couldn't take getting hurt again? That he was scared enough to run every time it was offered? Yeah, that would look real manly. He started to run his bath, adding in some oil that Willow had found that he liked to steal. He should probably buy her another bottle but he didn't know where she got it. "Oh, well," he told himself. "She'll eventually ask me and I'll do it then." He watched the water run, the shimmering from the lights almost mesmerizing. He stripped down slowly, sensually, enjoying the harder body he had now. All his training was paying off, now he could enjoy it. He slowly slid down into the water, letting the heat and the small amount of oil embrace him, flow over his skin like warm hands.

"Oh, yeah," he whispered. "Good." He leaned back, using the fuzzy pillows Willow had bought him to relax back into the grip of the water.

His solitude was broken by Buffy sticking her head around the door. "Do you want a book?" He nodded and it was handed to him. "Have a nice soak, I'll tell Oz since they just pulled up."

"'Kay. Have fun." He settled down further as he dropped the book onto the bathmat. She closed the door. "I'll be in here hiding as usual."

It was a few minutes later when Willow pulled open the door. "Can you pull the curtain so I can use it?"

He nodded, doing as she asked. He tried hard not to listen to her.

When she was done, having washed her hands, she tapped on the curtain. "Hey, don't use all my bath oil. It's specially blended and she never mixes it the same way twice."

Xander pulled the curtain back far enough to look at her. "Introduce me so I can get some of my own and I'll replace yours too." He smiled, pulling the curtain shut. "Or at least find me a good substitute."

She rolled her head back, brushing her hair with her fingers. "Okay. We'll go this weekend." She tapped the curtain again before she left.

He still didn't pull it open, knowing his visitors were far from being done in the bathroom. Oz would need to do some preparation stuff so Willow could jump him then they would be in later to clean up all the messy little traces. He counted backward, the older man not disappointing him. "You were almost late," he said.

"I'm not that predictable." Xander could hear the opening of the cabinets and the pulling out of stuff. "Good book?"

"Yeah, how's yours?" he asked back. "She put it under the sink."

Oz snorted but he started to dig down there for what he needed. "Thanks," he said finally. "You staying in all night again?"

"I don't stay in all night Oz. I soak until all of you are worn out then I come out to go to bed." He shrugged, making little ripples in the water with his hands. "Not a big, just some privacy."

Oz snorted but let it drop, getting everything ready so they could do what he wanted that night.

Xander could hear his preparations, his mind supplying the images to go with the sounds. He closed his eyes, letting the pictures flow through his mind so he could enjoy them. Soon enough it was all over and he was alone with the grunts, moans, cries, and chants from the other room. He picked up his book, mostly to distract himself.

When he got out of the tub, drying off slowly to give them some extra time to fall asleep, he looked in the mirror. "You're a coward," he told himself. "You're still running and they know it too." He wiped the steam from the mirror and pulled on his pajama bottoms before going out.

Willow and Buffy were asleep, wrapped around each other, hands in each other's hair. Oz was silently reading for class, looking over the top edge as the younger man came out. "Nice soak," he whispered.

Xander nodded, crawling to his usual side, on the other side of the girls. "Yeah, pretty relaxing." He fluffed his pillow, settling down on top of the sheet for now since he couldn't pull it over himself and not wake the girls. "How was your night?"

"Oh, pretty disappointing. Buffy was panting as Will got ready and jumped her before I could get any. I got a hell of a view though." He grinned. "Why are you laying over there? I'm not going to bite and I've got more room on this side than your six inches." He patted the mattress beside him. "I won't bite, I promise."

Xander quickly decided, knowing Oz wouldn't do anything he didn't want him to. He rolled off, walking around the huge bed. "You're sure?" The older man nodded, holding up the edge of the sheet for him. "Okay." He settled down, wiggling for a few seconds to get comfortable. "Thanks, I just know Buff was going to push me off in the middle of the night."

"Or hit you instead of the alarm." Oz put down his book, tossing it onto the headboard. "So," he said, rolling over, "what did you do in there?"

"Read, soak, feel good in the heat. The usual." The older man shook his head. "Can't do anything but that in the bath, it makes the water nasty."

Oz shook his head, moving just the tiniest bit closer. "You don't have to hide in there, you know. We won't bother you if you were asleep on the bed beside us." He took the younger man's hand, running his thumb over the soft palm. "Will's oil again?"

"I like the smell and how it feels in the water." He shrugged. "Not a big. She made me promise to take her to get a new bottle this weekend so I'd quit stealing hers." He swallowed, the gentle stroking getting to him. "What are you doing?"

"Relaxing you so you can sleep. That massage therapy class Buffy and I are taking is great for that. I can have her asleep in under five minutes every class." He pushed on a pressure point. "That one's for your heartbeat, and this one," he pushed on another, earning a gasp, "is for something else."

Xander swallowed. "I kinda figured that." He waited to see what Oz would do next. They had been teasing each other since they had become roommates but neither had gotten beyond that except the offering that was a constant by the older man. "Sleep?"

Oz looked down at them. "Usually the idea when you get under the covers." He scooted just a little closer, looking for the wariness to come out in the younger man's eyes to know when to stop. It was almost a record tonight, just under a foot. Maybe Buffy was right about this desensitization stuff. "Pleasant dreams," he whispered.

Xander closed his eyes. "Night Oz."

"Night Xan, sleep well. We'll be here all night with you." He waited until he was sure the other man was asleep before trying something he had noticed. You could get him to talk in his sleep, getting the truth from him, but only after he was deeply asleep. He waited patiently, watching the features smooth out, the small lines of scars from the glass disappearing as the face relaxed. Finally he was in the right state of sleep. "Xan?" Oz said quietly.

"Hmm?" He moved his head around, sinking onto the older man's chest with a sigh. "Nice," he whispered.

"What do you think of Oz?"

"Love Oz, love all of them. They love me too." He smacked his lips, taking an inadvertent lick of the uncovered flesh. "Smell good."

Oz sucked in a breath at the tender flick of the tongue tip. He shivered, liking it very much. "Xan? How do you love them?" The soft features scrunched up, so he rephrased that question. "Do you love them like a family or like a brother and sisters or is it love love?"

Xander sighed, snuggling his face closer, rubbing his nose across the separation of the pectorals. "Love them. Love me so I love them."

"Would you like to be with them?" Willow asked, putting her head on Oz's shoulder.

"Yeah," Xander sighed, wrapping an arm around Oz's waist. "Want them." He smacked his lips one last time before starting to snore.

"How did you know?" Oz asked quietly.

"I remember the first time, when we brought him home from the hospital. He told us he loved us then." She kissed her mate's cheek. "He won't like it if he finds out though.

Oz shook his head. "Finds out what?" He smiled as he settled down, secure in being held by the people that loved him.

' ' ' '

Xander opened his eyes, coming nose to flesh with Oz's chest at nipple height. He could actually see one of the dark peaks right near his left eye. He tried to move back some but the older man grabbed him tightly, pulling him back. He relaxed and the strong arms relented, easing up on the pressure but not enough for him to get away. He remembered laying down on this side since the girls had all but taken over his side of the bed after their romp. He remembered Oz talking to him, asking him stuff, rubbing his hand so nicely. He shivered at the remembered tightness and the arms got a little tighter, the firm body covering his just a little more.

He didn't know what he should do now. Should he try to move away carefully, not wanting Oz to take his midnight snugglings the wrong way? Should he enjoy it while it lasted, knowing it wouldn't? Could he let himself enjoy it, knowing it was going to be taken away eventually? He shook his head, earning a snort for the action. Maybe he should just lie there. So he did, until a wandering hand crawled down his back, rubbing all the tension away. He knew that if he relaxed into it, something would happen, and that something shouldn't. Oz was Willow's and Buffy's, not his; he had no right to accept that touch or to want it. He moved back some, earning himself a pinch, but the arms let him go.

Oz opened an eye, looking over at him. "You know, you didn't have to move. I was having the nicest dream."

"Me too, but they don't last." He got out of the bed carefully, not wanting to wake anyone else up, and headed for the bathroom, closing the door gently.

Oz sighed, rolling onto his back, moving Willow a little more towards Buffy. "He wants it but he won't take it or let it happen." He sighed softly, trying to figure it out. "The getting him used to it thing will work but we'll all be ninety by then. Maybe he'll come to accept that we want him but then again, we'll be ninety."

"Or at least forty," Willow whispered. "Go to him." She patted his chest before rolling over to snuggle against Buffy until the alarm woke them.

Oz smiled, getting up. "Yeah, I can do that." He tapped on the bathroom door, walking in when he heard the grunt. "Can I come in too?"

"Sure, I'm only shaving." He moved aside so the older man could reach around him to get his electric razor. But Oz surprised him by encircling his waist. "Um, Oz?"

"What? I'm watching you shave. Didn't anyone ever do that?" The younger man shook his head. "Would you let me fix that missed part problem you've been having?" Xander nodded and was sat on the toilet lid. "You keep missing this spot under your chin so I'll start there." He took the safety razor, rinsing it out to get a clean blade, until he saw the condition of it. "No wonder." He searched for another but didn't find one. "You're out?"

"Keep forgetting to go to the store." Xander shrugged.

Oz nodded, picking up his electric razor. "Not as close but it'll work." He started it, liking the vibration of the motor in his hand. "Look up."

The younger man hesitated, but did as he was told, then the vibrating blades moved to the sensitive skin of his neck. Each pass was slow and delicate, erotic even. Xander had never felt anything like this before. He tipped his head back farther, inviting the touch to continue, making the older man almost smile as he went for a second pass. The vibrations were sending tingles all through his body, touching off nerves that he didn't normally use.

Oz moved closer, starting to work on the outside of an untouched cheek. He moved the razor in little circles, getting off the most hair he could while still using that same thrilling touch. He heard the music of his alarm come on, making him smile as he moved to the beat of the pop hit playing. Xander looked at him but it didn't make him stop, it only made him move a little more sensually, slowly moving his hips in time with the new song. He switched sides, having to shift his body to the other side of Xander's leg, straddling it to get better access. The younger man groaned but didn't say anything so he continued.

Too soon it was all over. Both men looked at the other, Oz patiently waiting for Xander to say something, anything, about it.

The younger man cleared his throat. "Thanks," he said softly. He wiped off the residue of his hair, laying the warm washcloth on the edge of the sink bowl before looking up again. "Why?"

Oz shook his head. "Wanted to do that for a while." He grinned. "Now out, let me get a shower before the girls take over the bathroom." He stepped back, making the move to break the mood by choice, swatting the younger man's shoulder. "I'll do it again if you want."

Xander stood up, heading out to the bedroom, but he didn't say anything. Oz looked after him, soft grin on his face. He knew that the younger man liked it, his body didn't lie even if his brain didn't want to admit it yet. He stripped down, stepping into the shower to get ready for the day.

' ' ' '

Xander looked down at the ham he was cooking for omelets. Oz's touches this morning had shaken him, igniting the passion he knew was too close to the surface. He gripped the edge of the stove, willing his traitorous body to stop wanting what it couldn't have. He bit the inside his lip, the morning's cuddle coming back to haunt him now. Maybe he shouldn't sleep over there anymore, it was too dangerous. For all of them.

He would ignore the feelings he had because they weren't right. Oz was taken and it wasn't by him. He wouldn't let it happen again.

He opened his eyes, looking down at the innocent ham. "Yeah, you've got it easy. You only have one biological drive." He flipped it over, letting it brown on the other side. He pulled out the stuff he would need to make breakfast. "Never again," he promised himself quietly. "It can't happen."

Oz smiled for a second before making his presence known. It was just the reaction he had expected. "Hey, what's for food?"

"Omelets." He turned his head. "About..."

"I won't do it again if you don't want it. You know that." He grabbed the milk, smelling it and making a face. "Eww. Who's turn is it to shop?"

"Yours."

"Then I should make a list and get some milk tonight."

"There's more on the door," Xander said, turning back to his preparations. "I got it yesterday."

Oz tossed the chunky milk out, pulling out the new container. He poured a glass, leaning against the counter. "Did it really bother you?" he asked between sips.

Xander shook his head. "But it shouldn't have happened." He pulled the frying pan off the heat, sliding the ham onto a waiting plate. "Hand me the eggs in the bowl in the fridge please." He took it, pouring in some of the already mixed contents before tearing the ham into bite sized pieces. "It's not right."

"We say what's right," Oz pointed out, moving just a little closer. "Remember that." He stole a piece of ham before pulling down plates. He heard Buffy's alarm go off and go crashing into the wall. "Girls are up." Xander nodded, piling some of the ham and vegetables onto the cooking eggs, flipping half of it up as he watched before setting the table, making each place setting even and putting the usual breakfast addictions in the middle. Bagels for Willow, muffins for Buffy, newspaper for Xander and himself. "All set."

The younger man handed across the first omelet. "Yours," he said unnecessarily.

Oz pulled out the sports page before cutting into the fluffy eggs. "Perfect as usual." He grinned at the soft blush. "What? They are." He ate quickly, reading over the scores.

Willow came out, trailing her bathrobe as she put it on. "Morning," she groaned. "Nice," she said after stealing her usual kisses. She grabbed her eggs and sat down to fix her bagel just right.

Buffy walked out, dressed and fully awake. "Hmm, omelets?" Everyone nodded. "Cool." She grabbed hers, sitting down to eat, looking over her shoulder. "Not eating?"

Xander dished up his, bringing it over to his seat. "Yeah, I am. It just works better if I'm not eating while I cook."

Willow smiled. "Yeah, all those crumbs aren't good." She bit into her eggs. "Very good, as usual. Maybe you should go to cooking school."

The younger man shook his head. "Too much competition. I want to do something where I'm pretty well left alone and don't have to compete all that much."

Oz snorted. "That job exists?" He looked over the edge of the paper. "Tell me where?"

Xander shook his head, taking the paper from the talented hands so he could fold it to read himself. "Electronics. All I do is design." He took a bite. "Not too bad in the games last night."

Buffy tapped her fork on the table. "No sports talk in the mornings. We all agreed." She went back to her food, her class being the earliest. She looked down at her watch as she scraped the last few vegetables up to eat them. "Gotta go." She blew air kisses as she walked out the door, taking her muffins with her.

Willow looked at her man's watch. "On time too. It's a miracle."

Oz shook his head. "She's never on time to her first class. It could be at two, like mine, and she'd still be late." He stole back the paper, refolding it to the section he had been reading.

Xander finished up, grabbing the two empty plates, taking them in to the sink. He dropped the pan and the dishes into the sink too, plugging it to run the water.

"Leave them," Oz said, "it's my turn." He tossed the paper down. "Come sit, talk to us."

Xander didn't really want to but it had almost been an order. He knew what was going to happen, they would end up talking about this morning but he didn't want to hear about how he was screwing up the dynamic between the couple. He sat down slowly, easing his way into comfort, ready at any moment to go do something more important like dust.

Willow tossed her napkin at the younger man. "You're too tense for a morning. Relax, neither of us bite and we're full even if we did." She leaned back, crossing her hands over her stomach. "What are you going to do today?"

"The usual," he said, relaxing fully, tossing the napkin back. They didn't bring it up so he wouldn't. "Why? Did you need something special for later?"

She shook her head. "Just wondering what you do when we're not here." She wiped her mouth again before standing. "So, your laundry, read, gym, then what?"

He shrugged. "I might go catch a movie. There's a new Muppet one."

Oz smiled. "I wanted to be a Muppet when I was younger. My mother told me that I couldn't and I cried for days." Willow patted the top of his head. "She was so mean about it, but I got my first musical instrument out of it."

Willow shook her head. "That's where you got it?" She walked out of the room. "I'll have to remember that for later."

Xander watched her leave. "She's not..." Oz shook his head. "Okay." He searched for the cartoons, snorting at the editorial ones before finding the page of them. "Hmm, cute Haggar." He finished reading then handed them over, but Oz wasn't taking them he was watching him instead. "What?" he asked, worried. What had he done now?

Oz leaned closer. "I need someone to practice on other than Buffy and Willow for my massage therapy class. The final is working on someone not your partner, so I need the practice on an unfamiliar body. Can I use yours?"

Xander thought about it. That meant that Oz would have to touch him, lots. Over most of his body actually. He swallowed, wanting to say no so he couldn't be tempted any more but the older man needed it for class. "Okay," he croaked. He cleared his throat. "What do you need?"

"You, the bed, oil, less clothes. I have gloves if you want me to use them." He rubbed over the back of the younger man's hand to calm him. "I won't do anything you don't want, you can tell me to stop anytime." Xander nodded. "How about when Willow leaves? That way you don't have to be mostly undressed around her if it makes you uncomfortable."

Xander swallowed hard but nodded, getting up and going into the bathroom. Willow was done in there for the morning so he could have all the privacy he wanted for a little while. He scolded his body, telling it not to react, thinking up unpleasant things to curb his reactions. By the time Willow was ready to leave, he had control over his emotions. He was sure his body wouldn't betray him this time.

Oz knocked on the door. "Strip down to your briefs, grab a towel, then come lay down."

Xander did as he was told, running over those thoughts again and again as he did so. He wrapped one of the thick, fluffy towels around his waist before going out to face the torture he knew this was going to be.

Oz pointed at the spot he had covered with a towel. "There please." He waited for the younger man to lay down. "Okay, is it all right for me to work while straddling your legs?" Xander hesitated but nodded. "I promise, if you want me to stop or to switch places just tell me and I will. I don't want you to be uncomfortable with this." He stripped down to his boxers. "I don't want to sit in my jeans for this, it hurts my knees and would scratch you," he explained at the rapid breathing. "Just relax," he soothed, running warm, oiled hands down the firm back. "Relax, let me learn you so I know how to do this better." He started on the back of the younger man's neck, a safe place.

Xander relaxed slowly, the massage doing its job. He didn't know if he should purr or fall asleep. He tensed slightly as Oz moved, unsure of what would happen or how far this would go. He felt the constant knots in his back loosen, disappearing completely with a few deft strokes of the knowledgeable hands.

"You're too tense for someone our age," Oz said quietly, not wanting to break the mood. "I'll do this anytime you want." He moved down to the area under the shoulderblades, kneading the muscle mass there. "Let me do all the work while you relax." He reached over to turn on the soothing cd he had put in, knowing it was one of Xander's favorites. "See, soothing." He stroked down to the lower back area, a common area of complaint for the younger man. "How did you hurt your back anyway?"

Xander shrugged. "Not sure. It only twinges when I sleep funny or stay bent over for long periods of time." He shifted some, bending a knee, letting a leg spread a little.

Oz smiled, working over the soft muscles. "You know, you're developed real nicely all over except for here? This is the only soft spot on your body." He could see the blush start to creep down over the firm neck. "Sorry, just an observation."

Xander nodded. "It's okay. I just find it difficult to do the exercises for that area. It puts some pressure on it and it's uncomfortable." He shifted some more, closing his eyes to start in on the unarousing thoughts again. He stopped consciously paying attention to the soft movements of the hips over his rear, the warm hands sliding over his skin. But it didn't stop the groan when Oz started to work on his whole back at once.

"I take it I hit a few good spots." He mentally mapped out the pressure points he wanted, hitting them with the right amounts of pressure on each pass. He could feel the heat from the body below him start to go up, the arousal flush coming out nicely. He hit a particularly good spot and listened to the groan. "Do I need to work that spot some more?" he asked innocently. Xander groaned as he hit it again, but shook his head. "Okay." He went back to being not so obvious, moving his hips back to let him work on the upturn of the lower back. "Remember to tell me if this makes you uncomfortable." He started to work on the firm flesh, working both sides of the spinal column to ease any stress.

Xander debated but let him go at it after all. It felt good and he was hiding his state well, or so he thought. He bit his lip to stop the contented sounds from surfacing, not wanting to sound like he wanted it. Oz moved his body back some more, resting the front of his hips against the bottom of his rear. "Oz, can you move back some please?" The older man instantly did so, the hardness that had been pushing into his rear gone. "Thanks."

Oz smiled. He had noticed but not for a minute. He bypassed the covered hips, knowing that would get him flagged and the session stopped. "Can I work your thighs?" The younger man nodded, spreading his legs slightly so he could sit in between them. "I'll only go up to the towel," he moved it up some, past the majority of the muscle, "where it is now."

Xander turned his head. "Why so far up?"

"Your muscles bunch right here," he said, touching a spot not an inch below the towel, "I want to work on them if it's all right."

Xander laid his head back down. "Okay, but no farther." He got comfortable, thinking up all the disgusting thoughts he could to make his erection go down again. Oz started kneading the muscle mass, putting firm pressure on the thickest areas to soften them down the rest of his thighs. "That feels nice," he commented.

Oz grinned, working each leg now, wrapping around the thigh to the inner and outer sides to hit all the good points, reducing the flight response he knew would be coming. He worked down the interior thigh, feeling the tension come back so he moved a little lower a little sooner than he wanted. The younger man relaxed the closer he got to the knee joint and it was easy to see why. Not even the shadows under the towel could hide the hardness starting to come up. He moved to the other leg, being careful of the bruise he saw on the inside of his thigh. "What's this," he asked, touching it lightly.

"Don't know. I woke up with it. I'm guessing a foot in the middle of the night."

"If it keeps happening we need to check you out." He moved lower, concerned. He could see a few bruises in unusual places. "Xan, you have a few more and I don't think these were kicks in the middle of the night." He touched the mark on the back of a knee that looked like a hickey. "Unless one of us could kick you in the knee but not make it black and blue." He moved back, letting the younger man flip over to look at it.

"I'll be damned, " he said. "I wonder who did that." He looked over at Oz. "Someone sucks in their sleep."

"Not me, or at least I don't think so. Maybe the nymph does it. Will's been waking up with a few too." He frowned. "I'll have to spank her for that later. If it was her, she's not been doing it for long."

Xander shook his head. "TMI man, TMI." He rolled back over. "Can I have some more?"

Oz silently cheered his victory, getting the younger man to admit he wanted his touch. He started on the firm calves, using his thumbs to dig into the bunch of muscles. "How's that?"

"Not good." He shifted some. "Those don't hurt and it's not really relaxing." He sighed. "I should probably get up and let you get ready for class."

Oz put a hand in the middle of the younger man's back. "I could work on your chest." He knew this was dangerous, looking at him could show him how much he liked what he was doing.

"Sure," Xander said greedily, flipping over without knocking the older man in the head. "All yours." He replaced the towel around his hips and closed his eyes. "This is so good of you. Anytime you want to practice I'll gladly lay down for you."

Oz bit his lip, trying hard to restrain himself from commenting or taking him up on the offer. "Okay," he managed finally. He poured some more oil into his hands, warming it up before moving up to straddle the firm waist so he could work on the shoulders. He didn't have as good of reach but the mere thought of having the younger man's head in his lap was too much for him to bear without doing something. He reached up, but he couldn't get a good grip. "Would you rather have me over your chest or under your head?" he asked after another try that left him almost laying across the younger man's chest. Who said this position didn't have benefits?

"Whichever is more comfortable for you," he replied, not opening his eyes.

Oz made the decision easily. He would rather have Xander leaning against his chest than under his hips. He got up, smiling a little at the moan of loss. "Sit up, you're going to rest on my stomach so I can work on your shoulders." He positioned himself, settling Xander just the way he wanted him, head on upper stomach, shoulders and arms free of support. "Ready? This could get a little intense. You have a lot of nerves in your arms and hands." He started in around the neck, stroking up the sides and down into the crease created by the shoulder, an area he had wanted to touch for a while now.

"That's nice," Xander said. He shifted some to one side, silently asking Oz to work more of his magic there. It was an offer that was gladly taken up, the talented fingers showing they could do much more than stroke strings.

Oz worked steadily, smoothing out the tension as he worked outward. He started to work on one side at a time again, hitting all the good spots in the arms on the way down to the hands. He knew the younger man liked his hands touched and rubbed, last night and Willow's constant touching of them showed him that much. He spent an extra long time on the palm, gentling him slowly to his touch. By the time he switched he wasn't sure why Xander wasn't purring. He looked down, seeing the easy features that only came out when he was asleep. "Too good," he told himself, working down the other side now. Before he was finished with the other hand, Xander was moaning in his sleep and wiggling around. He moved the sleeping body down into his lap, resting the head on his crossed legs as he started in on the lower shoulders. Xander woke up with a snort, looking around the room. "It's only me. You took a nap while I worked over your arms. Feel good?" He hit a tense spot, using his fingertips to apply the correct amount of pressure to release it.

Xander laid there, letting it happen, knowing he was giving in when he shouldn't. Everything in him said he should be getting up now, not playing this sort of game with the older man's emotions. "Oz, I ..." He was stopped by the slippery fingers covering his lips.

"You should relax. I told you I won't go any farther than you want me to." He nodded down the body resting on him. "That towel is your line. You can move it anywhere you want and I won't touch you there." The towel didn't move so he went back to his careful stroking of the pectoral muscles. "You're getting very nicely defined."

"Yeah, a few hours daily in the gym, sparring with Marion, and my martial arts classes are good for me." He looked down his own chest. "I am looking good, aren't I?"

This brought a smile and a nod. "Yeah, you are and we're proud of you for sticking with it too." He nodded toward the certificate and the award that Willow had insisted be hung up beside the bed. "We're very proud of you for all of it." Xander reached up to tap him on the nose. "Yeah?"

"I was miserable," he said quietly. "The early grad was a great thing but it was a bummer because you guys weren't there. I came home and demolished a bottle of champagne before sulking in the tub for a few hours."

Oz pulled him up, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry. I know you've heard this but it was wrong of us to judge you for that. I wasn't even mad." His hair was touched, a soft, tender touch meant to soothe him. "We won't do that again, promise me."

"We won't. I'll stay and let her yell at me first." Xander wrapped his arms around the firm waist behind his. "I shouldn't have left. It was as much my fault that we split like that as all yours together. You guys had a reason to be upset, I didn't." He looked down, but his body was moved around so he had to look at the older man. "I never knew you were this strong."

"Those amps weigh tons," was whispered into the side of his face. "It's as much mine as it is hers that we left. I suggested it because she was hurting so much. I only meant for a night or so but she packed everything and I went with it without an argument."

Xander wiped both their damp cheeks. "We're both at fault here. I shouldn't have lied or left and you got upset for a reasonable reason and didn't fight her. I understand." He hugged the older man tightly. "I'm sorry Oz, I should have said it earlier."

Oz smiled. "Yeah, me too." He shrugged. "It's more important now that we've said it. We shouldn't let anything come between us again." He stroked over the silky skin of the younger man's back. "Never again?"

"Never again." He laid his lips against Oz's forehead, but they were moved down for a chaste kiss. "We shouldn't."

"It's not that sort. I just wanted to make sure that you were here." He looked into the deep eyes, seeing the worry. "Never anything unless you want it," he promised. Xander nodded, moving away. Then the younger man shocked him by laying back down in his lap. "You want more, huh?"

"Yeah, it's a good thing." He grinned. "Any time you want to practice your skills, just ask. I'll gladly do this again." He closed his eyes, grin still there.

Oz went back to his massage of the chest region, avoiding the uplifted dark buds that were calling to him by sheer force of will. "I'm working your stomach too?" The younger man nodded. "Okay, we may have to shift positions again. I'm not sure if I can do that without squishing your nose with my chest." That earned him a light laugh then a groan when he inadvertently hit a nipple. "Sorry." Oz moved his hands back to safer territory but his hands were moved back. "You're a little tense there. I'll work it if you promise not bite me each time I work over your nipple." That earned him another laugh, the chest moving up into his hands.

Xander was in heaven. This was so much like the teasing he had come to like and accept that he was comfortable. He was being touched in a way he hadn't been in a while, the warmth of the hands on him being new still. Nobody had ever cared this much about him, but no matter how much he wanted to ruin it by taking it someplace else, he was determined not to lose this too.

Oz noticed the firm set to the face in his lap and stopped. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking." He relaxed consciously. "See?"

"It's not bothering you?"

"No. Why?"

"Because you looked so serious there I thought you were having doubts."

"Not about this," Xander said quietly. He opened his eyes. "I was promising myself something about not screwing up."

Oz relaxed again, letting out the breath he had been holding. "Okay. But you don't screw up many things."

"Anymore."

"At all actually. You didn't screw stuff up in high school, not outside your own life-world anyway, and it hardly ever impacted the rest of us."

"That's not a comfort."

"Well, no, but it's true. Name one thing that you've screwed up? Outside of this most recent event which was not entirely your fault."

"Well, the thing with Cordelia. My fighting Angelus to save Buffy." That got him smacked across the top of the head. "Ow. What?"

"Is that why you did that?"

"That and he was the one that sent the flowers. I was the one he was after this time so I had to solve it. Besides, we both know she couldn't have done it, not even if she witnessed him killing me."

Oz tapped Xander's forehead. "Look at me." He waited until the command was followed. "That was bad. We would have helped if you had waited. You didn't have to go. She would have done it to save you." He nodded. "Got it?"

"Yeah, but you're wrong. She's proven a couple of times that she couldn't do that. He meant too much to her for her to stake him." He shrugged. "I accepted the fact a long time ago, after he changed back that first time." Oz rolled his eyes upward for patience. "Put it this way, if it was Willow that had changed and was attacking like he had, would you have been able to?"

Oz opened his mouth, but the lie wouldn't come out. He knew he couldn't do that if he was in that position. He would beg one of the others to do it for him, to put her out of her misery, but he couldn't do that himself, no matter how bad she became or how much it hurt either of them. "You're right," he said finally. "I couldn't."

"None of us could in that circumstance." The younger man ran a soothing hand along the stiff neck above him. "None of us. I *had* to do it. That journal showed me how right I was. I had to end it, not her, not you two. Me. It was me that he was focused on because of that guy in the past."

Oz sighed, not liking the answer or the logic behind it. "Yeah, I read it." He stroked through the short hair. "Why'd you cut it again?" he asked, wanting the subject changed.

"Because Will said I looked like someone else." He closed his eyes. "Do I need to beg?"

"Only if you really want to." He tried to move down, but the angle was wrong. "Okay, we're switching again." He sat Xander up and moved back down to straddle his hips.

"Oz?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you riding me?"

"Because you'd look good in a saddle?" he guessed. He grinned once the eyes opened. "Was that a hint that you want me to sit beside you?"

"No, not really. It's just an unfamiliar thing for me." He groaned and covered his head with a pillow. "Forget I said that."

Oz nodded. He had already known that, having asked Buffy, making her tell him what they had talked about. "Forget what?"

"You're a true friend," came through the pillow.

"Of course, what did you want me to be? A true fish?"

Xander started to laugh, ending up bopping the older man with the pillow. They rolled around, tickling each other, mock fighting, and enjoying their friendship again. It ended up with Oz back on top, straddling the younger man's stomach. He looked down, a positively evil glint shining from his eyes. He reached down without a word, stroking over the flesh he had been massaging just a few minutes earlier. He worked the chest like he had wanted to, earning little breathless gasps for it.

"You were being bad," he said.

"Was not. Just naughty." Xander closed his eyes, blocking out the mesmerizing gaze. "We shouldn't."

"We can."

"We shouldn't. I refuse to come between you two." The hands were removed but the weight around his body remained.

"We're not letting you think that anymore," Oz said softly. He leaned down until he was laying across the lightly oiled chest. "There's nothing that could or would come between Willow and I. Not Buffy, not you. I know you've heard this before, but this time listen to the words and understand them. If you want a place with us, both of us, you can have it. All you ever have to do is ask us, we'll gladly finish claiming you as ours. You are *ours*," he whispered, moving close to the ear. "You have been and always will be ours. Nothing will ever change that."

"You love her."

"We love you too, just like we do Buffy. Actually I think she more than likes you too, but I can't speak for her. Got it?" Xander nodded. "Good, then no more of this talk about you coming between us. If you want to be part of this, we'll gladly let you. If not, we won't push. We'd like you to be but we won't and can't force you to come to us." He pried open an eye. "Do you hear me?"

"Yeah," Xander said, opening both eyes. "I do. But it's still not right."

"Right is what we say it is. We define right and wrong." He shook his head. "Where did you hear that anyway?"

"Everywhere," the younger man said quietly.

"Not from your grandmother. She was in a quad relationship."

"No, not from her but I saw what happened to her because of it. How she was treated, reviled and ostracized and all. I can't do that." He pushed until Oz moved off him. "I'm sorry." He walked slowly into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly.

Oz rolled onto his back, thinking about all that he had learned. Xander was afraid. He wanted approval so much by everyone around him that he couldn't allow himself to let go and give in. Damn, he wanted to go do something to the boy's parents and all the others that had hurt him. He knew it wasn't right, but he was honest about it. "Xan, you can come out, I won't molest you again," he called.

"I'll be out in a minute," came the muffled reply.

Oz got up, knowing what was going on behind the closed door. He tapped on the door before walking in to hold the man that was trying to hide his grief at the situation. "Let me?" Xander turned in his arm, letting him see the pain he had held in all this time. "We're sorry, but we won't back off." He held him, letting him cry out all the pain he had held in all this time while trying to not give in to what he really wanted all along.

' ' ' '

Oz called off his afternoon class, his teacher had a colicky baby at home anyway and could use the sleep. He sat on one of the couches, looking through the first of the photo albums filled with pictures of Xander's grandmother. He could see the joy they started out with and the pain that had started to show up not long after their wedding. It was always in the eyes. By the time he got to the ones with a younger Xander then the ones with young Xander and Willow the pain was all he could see. He knew, by stories Will had told him, that she was a widow by the time Xander was five so the pain came from there and from the family. The next picture he saw was a family photo. It showed a very young Xander, maybe three, in his mother's arms, his father and the rest of the family was looking at the grandmother and the two husbands that were with her like they were monsters. He knew now where the younger man got the strength to deny himself all the happiness. His family had given it to him.

He looked up as someone came through the door, the object of his thoughts as it turned out. "Hope you don't mind, Will told me about them and I was just looking." Xander shrugged, sitting down beside him. "Where's her wife?" Oz asked, pointing out the family picture.

"Dead by then. She was in a car accident. The police tried to blame one of the husbands even though he was at work at the time. They weren't real friendly toward her family at the best of times." He flipped back a few pages. "It happened right after this one. One of the town's people, a minister of the local church actually, ran her down on purpose to 'cleanse the town of their evil' as it was put." He leaned back. "It almost killed them all. They were so much in love. Her two husbands were in a wreck later, with her. I must have been almost five. She was widowed once during the wreck and again two weeks later when a nurse supposedly introduced an accidental overdose of painkillers into his system. Her own daughter refused to come to the funeral." He took the book, running his finger over the picture of them, hope and love shining through their long gone eyes. "She was a very special woman. Very powerful." He closed the book. "She used to want to adopt Will, raise her in the right traditions. I guess she saw the power she holds." He shrugged. "I know I wanted to be raised by her. I used to love going to her house. I don't remember much now, just the longing to be there."

"Safe," Oz supplied.

"Yeah, safe, loved, and wanted." He slid the album back onto the bookshelf. "You're skipping class to look at my family photos?" He turned to look at the older man. "Why do I think that this is a continuation of this morning?"

"Because it was. I was just trying to understand."

"Do you now?"

"Yeah, some. I can see how the strength was beaten into you without you knowing it." The younger man winced. "Or not. I can see why you fight it so hard. I know that eventually the fight will wear you down too. I don't want to see you destroyed from fighting this." He took the hand. "I won't force you and if you ask I'll back off but I won't give up. We want you to be part of us. No matter when you decide that you can get over this." He brushed back a strand of his hair with their joined hands. "Just don't let it destroy you before you give in."

Xander leaned over, giving the older man a hug. "I won't but I'm still not going to let it happen." He took back his hand. "I should go grab your razor and shave off all that hair. Oz with long hair looks funny."

Oz laughed. "Yeah? Well, I might let you take me to the hairdresser but I won't let you cut it. I've seen you try to cut your own bangs and it's not going to happen."

Xander stood up, holding out a hand. "Come on, I'll drive. You need to clean out the van."

"Why does everyone say that my van is dirty?" Oz blew hair out of his eyes. "It's not."

"It's filthy. You've had a water leak and now there's a giant mushroom growing in the back." He shook his head. "I almost expect a caterpillar to be living on it."

Oz grinned. "Do you think it's one of those? I wonder if I can get Giles to check it? He'd be funny on 'shrooms."

Xander shook his head. "Can't imagine it, don't take me there." He checked for his wallet then ran into the bedroom to find it. He came back out, looking at all the shelf-like surfaces that he might have put it on. Until Oz put it in his pocket for him. "Thanks." He pulled the older man out the door, down the stairs, and eventually to the mall.

Xander looked down on the haircut Oz had picked out. "I liked the old one though. Your hair always looked interesting."

Oz smiled up at the hairdresser. "Do you remember how you used to do it?" She nodded. "Like that. Just leave the long pieces like in this one." Xander shook his head but Oz stopped him. "Compromise, the art of making everyone happy. Willow likes me to have some hair when she's having a bad day." He looked down at his watch for the date. "Which should be next week."

Xander blushed but pulled over a chair. "Want to sleep out on the couches with me?"

"No, she'd kill me. You know how she is."

"Last month was bad though. She and Buffy got together to terrorize us poor men." The hairdresser laughed. "Don't laugh, you'd be surprised at the power of those two to make us miserable. Buffy alone can do it with a look and a few words."

"Just by cooking usually," Oz added.

The hairdresser smacked his shoulder and made Xander go wait.

' ' ' '

Marion looked up as two people she knew very well walked toward her with trays. "Hey guys," she smiled at Oz. "Much better. You looked like a sheepdog before."

He shook his head. "Quit maligning my hair." He sat down across from her, settling his tray's contents around before removing his and Xander's. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Uniform shopping. Mom dropped me off with the firm instruction to buy enough for a week at least and to make sure they could be machine washed." She bit into her sub. "The guy at the sub shop was mean to me. He didn't want to make it the way I wanted."

"He's just never seen a pregnant woman before I bet," Oz soothed. "What is it anyway?"

"Jalapeños, banana peppers, ham, ranch dressing, swiss cheese, and salad stuff."

"Whole meal in bread. Pretty smart," Xander said. "Quick and easy way to eat all the food groups." She took a bite and he tried very hard not to wince, looking around instead. "Damn, maybe we should go eat on one of the other levels," he muttered.

Oz looked around, trying to find the problem. "Who?"

"Snyder and my father, right behind the huge blonde woman in the polka dots."

Oz looked that way and nodded. "Marion, would you like to go eat with us somewhere else?" He gathered up his food. "Come on." He helped her up and they all started toward the escalator. Unfortunately not soon enough.

"Alexander," his father yelled.

Xander blanched but kept walking. "I don't know him," he muttered over and over to himself.

Oz started to get worried. He looked around for a security guard but they were never around when you needed one. He turned as Xander's dad, Principal Snyder, and another man caught up to them.

"What do you want?" Xander asked in a tired voice. "I've got stuff that needs to be done." He nodded at the other two men.

"Son, I want to talk to you."

"You lost the privilege of that title a long time ago and we're not staying to listen." He turned around but his father caught his arm. "Let go," he ground out.

"Alexander, we would like to talk to you. Would you at least listen to us?"

The younger man paused in a thinking pose. "Nope." He pulled his arm away. "Let me go and leave us alone."

"Why, so you can corrupt her?" the other man said. "My dear, I'm Reverend Malistrom."

"That's nice." Marion stepped away from him. "Would you please leave us alone. I would like to walk with them before I have to go pick up my uniforms." She turned away, pulling on Xander's sleeve. "Come on, walk with me. I want to go people watch." She pulled him to the closest escalator. "Please don't let them follow," she said quietly.

Oz walked behind them. "Marion, take my stuff. I don't want it in my hands right now." He handed it over, letting her set it in her bags. "Thanks." She nodded. "Come on, we need to go someplace else." He hurried them along, going through the store that they ended up in. They ended up in the small kids area, making Marion groan. "You all right?" She nodded so he led them to a safer place, down near the nature store and others like it. "We should be safer down here, there are more people like us." He sat them down on a bench, just now noticing that Xander hadn't said a word. "You okay, man?" He didn't respond so he was shaken lightly to bring him back. "What in that head of yours?"

"That reverend was the biggest bigot in the city. Someone should call Joyce or Giles and warn them." He shuddered. "And I know why my father was with him. He wants me to come back." He started to shake uncontrollably. "Don't?" he pleaded.

Oz pulled out his cell phone. "Where's your mom? Work?" She nodded and he hit the speed dial. "Joyce, it's Oz. We're at the mall with Marion and we have a problem. Can you come get us? We need to talk." He got an answer before hanging up. "Ten minutes." He touched Xander's arm. "He can't have you. You're old enough to do it yourself now." He sat down between them. "Eat up, Marion, you need it. You can have my stuff too, I'm not hungry anymore." He looked around to make sure no one else was going to come up and bother them.

Joyce walked over to them, smiling until she saw them. "Marion, did you get your stuff?"

"It's still in the store but they need to get out of here before his father comes back." She reached over, rubbing one of Xander's arms. "They came up to us in the food court, his father, some reverend, and Snyder." She got frowned at. "Principal Snyder," she corrected.

"Okay, Oz, get him to the car. Here are the keys. Marion and I will be right out." She patted the older man's arm. "If I know which reverend we can avoid him.

"Malistrom," Xander said quietly. "It was him and my father. They're going to try and make me come back."

Joyce shook him hard. "They can't have you. You're an adult."

"Does that really matter to your family?" a deep voice said from behind them. "My dear girl, would you like to come to my church?"

Joyce turned around slowly. "I would like you to leave my daughter alone. Along with the rest of my family if you wouldn't mind. Oz, take him and go. Bring Marion with you, I don't want her exposed to this." She heard and felt them go past her, taking the long way around. "Now then, I do believe you were going to try to intimidate me with your supposed holiness?" She crossed her arms to wait.

"I was going to try to convince you of the wrong path you were on but I see that's impossible. It's a pity that you're bringing that child with you."

Joyce smiled sweetly at the security guard walking toward them. "Would you please escort me to my car? This man is bothering me." The guard led her past him, a hand on her arm all the way out. "Thank you."

"No problem, ma'am. We don't like that reverend's kind here anyway." He saluted and left her at her car's side.

Oz got out of the driver's seat. "Por vous," he said, waving at her, "and Giles is on the phone."

"Rupert," she said, after she had gotten in, "you wouldn't believe the run in I just had. We need to be very careful." She turned on the car, closing the door. "That person that leads all those anti-everything-but-his-way rallies was with Xander's father and Snyder. They threatened Marion." She could hear the whatever it was break on the other end. "We're on the way back to the gallery now. Could you get her uniforms? I don't want to go back in and I don't want her in there either." She hung up. "He'll get them, I've got to go back to work. You're coming." She pulled out, heading back the few blocks to the gallery.

' ' ' '

Xander looked over at his lawyer. "How do I stop him?" he asked.

"It depends, what did he say and do?"

"Nothing obvious, no direct threats, but in the last few days we've been getting a lot of hang up calls, fliers stuck on our cars, in mailboxes, and on their house. I don't want them to have to deal with this."

The older man scratched his silver hair. "Well, we could try for a restraining order but it would only get worse by giving them enforceable limits to push against. I can fire off a 'if you don't leave them alone we'll sue you' letter, but those aren't known to work against his kind." He shrugged. "If you ignore them they go away eventually but I'm afraid we can't do more right now. They have to make an overt threat or threatening action to be stopped in cases like this."

"So, they need to attack one of us, tell us that they're going to attack one of us, or spray paint the house again?"

"If you're sure it was them we could hit them with a criminal trespassing and damage to property charge and a suit."

Xander shook his head. "They were teens but they were chanting his slogans." He sighed, sinking down into the comfortable leather chair. "We'll keep it in mind and you're aware of it now so if something happens it'll be dealt with. Right?" The older man nodded. "Okay, I'll see you soon."

"Well, I do have one bright spot in today. I got back your application for your patent, it's been issued. They moved so fast because there was nothing like it."

Xander grinned, lightening up the room. "Really? Well, that is a cause for celebration." He shook the other man's hand, leaving the office with the paperwork. He made it out to the car before he felt he had to share the news. Giles was home with Marion today since she had a doctor's appointment so he called them. "Giles, you'll never guess what I got told." That was all he got out before the rock hit him in the head.

' ' ' '

Giles walked back through the curtain. "It's most fortuitous that you were calling me at the time. Who knows how long you would've laid there." He patted the younger man's shoulder carefully. "Just a concussion thankfully."

Xander stood up, a little shaky still. "Yeah, it's a good thing I have a hard head." He grabbed Giles' arm to steady himself. "Wheelchair would be a great idea." The nurse walked back in with one. "You're a saint," he said. He sat down with a sigh. "Okay, let's go see the ultrasound."

Giles smiled, pushing him up to the elevator. "What did the lawyer say?"

"Overt threat or action. No laws otherwise." Giles shook his head. "I wonder if we can prove who threw the rock."

"Not really. It wasn't on the security camera I'm afraid." He rolled him on when the door opened. "Up we go." Xander grabbed his stomach as the elevator started. "Nauseous?"

"Deathly." He looked up at the numbers. "I'll be better by the time to go home." He reached over his shoulder to touch the older man's hand. "How is she?"

"Shaken. Emotional. She was crying when I left her to come down and get you. She's very worried that it will happen to her."

"I've got to get the newest model of the emergency beacon done. It's waterproof and has a few extra features." He shook his head carefully. "I can't believe that they did that."

"Well she is, as you are, a perfect target for his message. He believes that you both should be punished for your mistakes most harshly then sent away." Giles shrugged as they got off. "He's convinced a rather large group of people that he's right. Until someone with a better message comes along to pull them away he'll have the power of his numbers."

"I wonder if the Mayor would like to send him away." He smiled nastily. "He is a blight and she keeps saying that she's going to remove all of them."

"Unfortunately she's a member of his congregation." He knocked on the room Marion was in, waiting for someone to tell him to come in. When the door was opened, he wheeled the younger man in, settling them both beside the bed. "How are we?"

"We're fine," the nurse said. "Both mother and child are fine and in good health. Her food is a bit on the gross side when I asked her what she'd had for lunch."

"I said I was sorry for belching like that," Marion pointed out.

"Dear, all pregnant women do that, I've just never seen one eat like you."

"I'm Canadian, that must make the difference." The nurse smiled at her before leaving them alone. "How's the head?"

"Besides having a new dent, it's all right." He looked over at the frozen picture. "Is it what I think it is?"

Marion covered her ears. "I don't want to know."

Giles soothed her. "Yes, it is." We've just confirmed it today, that's why I was late." He smiled at the younger man. "Such a blessing."

Xander smiled. "Let's hope so."

' ' ' '

Willow opened the door, throwing it hard enough to dent the wall. "You're all right," she said, falling into his arms for a hug. "We only heard that you were taken into the hospital."

"My head and a rock had an unfortunate connection," Xander said. "Slight concussion. I need to be woken up fully every few hours."

"We can do that," Buffy said. She pulled the pair inside, closing the door, but stopped to let the cat in. "Back again?" She meowed, starting to climb up Xander's leg.

"Whoa, whoa, let me sit down then you can hug and pat and sit in my lap all you guys want." He was helped over to the sofa, even though he didn't need it, then he was surrounded. "Better?" he asked both the women, who where busy running their fingers carefully through his hair.

Oz burst through the door and came over to the couch. "What happened?" He kneeled on the floor between Xander's feet, pulling his chest down for a hug. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I got hit by a rock. No one knows who threw it but it's just a concussion. My car's still at the lawyer's and he called Giles to say he'd have his assistant drive it over." He shrugged. "Oh, and the baby's fine. I got to see the last picture of the ultrasound." He grinned, silly for a second. "I even know what it is."

"Girl?" Willow and Buffy guessed.

"Next slayer?" Oz guessed.

"Nope, the other model." He leaned back, pulling the older man with him when he wouldn't let go. "She's still eating gross too. Even the nurse said it was outrageous."

Oz shook his head. "After that last lunch do you blame her?" Xander shook his head. "Me either." He got up to get in the younger man's face. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Slight concussion, need to be woken up every few hours tonight, nothing broken including the skin. The guys that did this weren't major league pitchers, they barely got it hard enough to knock me out for a few minutes." He ran his fingers through Oz's hair. "I like this cut after all."

Oz laughed, relieved. "Thanks." He looked at the girls and the cat. "Why are we all still looking so worried?"

"Because it might be someone else next time and they may not have such a hard head." Buffy cracked her neck, bringing winces. "Sorry."

"S'okay," Willow said. "Reality just set in then you did that gross thing." She got up, heading toward the kitchen. "What am I fixing tonight? And aren't you supposed to be in class, Oz?"

"He let me out when I got Joyce's call. He told me I'm doing so good that I really don't have to be there if I could practice more." Buffy hugged him before going in to help Willow with supper. "Are you sure you're fine," he asked quietly.

Xander pulled on the older man's arm until he joined him on the couch. "I have a headache and I'm dizzy. Not a gunshot wound. My Neurologist from after the fight looked at me and told me there wasn't a problem. Everyone said I should be fine. I only need to come in if something else happens. No big bad."

Oz sighed, leaning against his friend's side. "I'm glad. I want to hurt them but I'm glad." He reached down to pet the cat. "So's she probably." The younger man shifted some, bringing his hand into contact with the thigh he had been working on three days before. "Can I do something?"

"Back and neck rub?" Xander gave him puppy eyes. "I really liked it."

Oz sat up straighter. "You want one for real or you want to be touched?"

"Both?" he guessed. Oz shook his head. "Yeah, the touching thing I guess."

"I hug great." He shifted some, pulling Xander down to lay on his chest. "Comfortable?"

"Very snuggly." He let himself be comforted by the most primitive method known to man, touch, letting all the tension drain out of him.

' ' ' '

Xander signed the last form of the complaint and pushed it back over to the officer. "Anything else?" She shook her head so he left, heading up to the college for lunch with his friends. He stopped once to look in the window of a bookstore, popping in to buy the one he and Willow had both wanted to read. By the time he got up there, all of them were looking down at their watches, not around for him. "Sorry," he said, handing over the book.

Willow slapped his lower arm. "You scared us." She looked in the bag. "I didn't want it that much, not enough to raise my blood pressure by thirty points."

Buffy frowned at him. "Phone?" she asked, making him pat down his pockets. "Didn't think so." She shook her head. "I'm going to pack you a purse with everything you need daily and tie it around your waist."

Oz shook his head. "We were worried. We thought something else might have happened."

"Nope, long nap that got me up late and then I stopped in to make the complaint, then the bookstore for that." He touched each of their hands. "I'm okay, nothing else has happened recently."

Oz nodded, taking little comfort from it. "Yet," he pointed out. "The hearing's tomorrow."

"I can't believe they did that to mom," Buffy said. "It sent her to bed with a migraine when she got the notification."

Willow frowned. "At least my mom's helping out with this. Marion's in my old room right now." She looked at the people around them. "Do you ever wonder how many of these kids are part of them?"

Everyone looked around, looking hard at the faces they knew. Buffy looked back down at the table. "I'd hope not too many but I might be wrong." She looked at her friends. "I don't want to be paranoid about this."

"Me either," Oz said. "Most of the kids I know aren't, at least I'm pretty sure they're not, but the average person isn't usually."

"These types of fringe groups attract a minority of the populace," Willow said. "Not everyone is that intolerant, cruel, or weak minded."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm still not convinced." She looked around. "I'd love to move someplace where there are only people like us."

"Doesn't exist."

"It might, Xander, you never know," Willow said. "Look at the modern Communes. Most of them are free and tolerant places."

"Except by the people outside that don't understand so they fear and hate them." He snatched a left over cucumber. "I want to buy an island and only let people like us on but I don't think I have enough money for that."

"Not the answer," Oz said. "Education, subtly done, is proven to work in turning around the fear that comes from not knowing." He looked up at the women walking past. "Like them, everyone knows what they stand for so no one hates them because they fear them. Some fear their viewpoints but not them. You never see one of them getting hurt by people like Malistrom."

Willow shook her head. "That's one of his big pushes, to end women's lib. He says it's the devil's work and the cause of all the ills today." She shrugged. "He comes from a time of women staying home and no one talking about the problems. Today, we focus on them instead of hiding them and that makes him think that they're rampant when they're just as common as they were then proportionally."

One of the hardline feminists that had just walked by the table came over to them. "You're Doctor Rosenberg's daughter aren't you?"

Willow nodded, smiling. "I'm Willow. This is Oz, Buffy, and Xander."

The woman smiled at all them. "We heard you talking and we agree. We've got a rally tonight to get his group pushed off campus. Would you like to come? Maybe speak?"

Xander nodded. "I'm not a student but I'd love to come." He looked at the other two who were nodding. "Looks like we'll be there."

She looked at Willow, who was grinning. "Definitely. I'd love to come too. My mother and I are both in his latest pushed group." She wiped her mouth. "Let's go talk." She walked the young woman back to her table, telling her about the present problem he was posing. When she came back, she was all smiles. "I've been asked to come talk to a meeting tomorrow about this stuff." She sat back down, pushing her plate toward Xander. "Eat something. Don't make me pout at you."

He smiled, digging into her pile of cold fries and the rest of her salad. "Yes, ma'am."

Buffy started to laugh. "You do that so well," she joked.

Oz tapped the middle of her forehead. "So do you dear. You take her orders just like a pro." Buffy blushed, shaking her head. "Yeah, you do. Maybe we ought to videotape it sometime?"

Xander started to cough, blush rampant over his face. "Guys, I'm trying to eat." That cracked the rest of the group up, sending fits of laugher across the table.

' ' ' '

Joyce Summers laid down her purse on the counter before picking up a glass and tossing it against the oven hard enough to break. Her fiancee calmly walked up behind her, taking her in his arms. "She's fine and he didn't win. That's the important thing. The judge laughed him out of the room, calling him an imbecilic creature of blasphemy. The important thing is that she's coming home tonight and he didn't win." He hugged her tightly, not letting on how worried he actually was.

' ' ' '

Willow sat down in her chair at the table and sighed. There were two weeks left before finals and she was still behind. If she didn't catch up soon, she'd get all bad grades - something she didn't want to face. She looked up at the man who had put the brownies down next to her, smiling up at her Oz. "Thanks."

"Most welcome to give you good study food." He bowed and headed for the bedroom to let her have some peace.

Willow grabbed the first sugary good treat, biting into it as she flipped through her calc book to the next section. "Ah, differentials." She pulled out her notebook and her pencil, getting down to it again.

' ' ' '

Xander fixed a quiet dinner of study food. One week before finals and everyone was studying old tests, hastily scribbled notes, and the copies that they had made from classmates. They needed stuff to eat that would sustain them through another long night. He flipped the steak pieces easily to brown them on the other side. Stew was always something that could be eaten over a book and was generally well received as comfort food. He dished the rest of the vegetables into the big pot, adding the meat last, and sealed the pressure cooker's lid down. He escaped quietly into the bedroom to read by himself.

It was a few hours later when he made it back out, smiling at the bodies slumped over those same books, fast asleep now. He took each one, and the bowls and glasses beside them, away, setting them carefully aside. He covered each one, kissing the top of their heads.

' ' ' '

The day before finals and everyone was on edge. The bell on the microwave made Buffy jump, she shot it and him a nasty look. Oz was quietly playing in the bedroom to relax so he could study, Willow frowning at the door every few minutes. Eventually she headed in, stopping the aimless strumming before it drove her closer to the edge.

Xander pulled out the cake he had gotten. The ice cream would go down well for desert. The dinner of fried chicken, or fuzzy food as Marion called it, was already plated; all the vegetables were in their bowls too. He looked up from decorating the top of the ice cream to see all eyes on him. "In a few minutes." Everyone went back to their last minute studying, waiting patiently for the house chef to declare perfection. He set the last plate, the fried chicken, on the table and before he could turn around for the milk everyone was seated, dishing up stuff. "Gee, I guess we were hungry," he commented, putting the milk in the center of the table. He sat down, grabbing the food passed to him.

Everyone started to hurry through the meal, wanting to get back to the cramming process.

"Slow down, you'll choke and die." He waited until Buffy proved him right. "See?" He shook his head. "Those books will still be there in a few minutes. We need to have a real meal for once this week." He took a small bite. "You know, eat, talk, laugh... Maybe not," when everyone looked at him funny.

Willow smiled, looking over at him between bites. "Yeah, but you're done for the semester."

"But I also remember cramming for many exams and this isn't any different." He looked at Oz. "Do you know what's on it?" The older man nodded. "And you know the subject well?" Another nod. "Then why do you worry so much?"

Buffy smiled. "Because we have to do well and make you proud."

Xander tossed down his napkin. "You always do. As long as you try I'll be happy. Now eat like a human." He got up, slicing into the just right cake. "There's desert too. Sort of a cheer-you-up thing."

Willow looked over her shoulder. "Wow. When did you learn to make those?"

"Baskin Robins," he said slowly. "I just decorated the top." He set it back into the freezer to get a little harder. "But only if you eat like people." He sat back down, eating slowly.

Oz touched the side of the younger man's face. "Did we ever tell you how much we appreciate having an onsite mother?" He grinned. "It's a great thing to be taken care of like this."

"Yeah, but you guys are in trouble the next time I get the flu." He smiled at the more sedate pace. "So, who's got what tomorrow?"

"Music, all of them at once, not a big," Oz said.

"Massage tomorrow night," Buffy said.

Oz looked over at her. "Again, not a big."

"Calc and English," Willow said. "I'm only worried about the calc though. English is write a paper while we're there."

Xander took her hand. "You've been doing this stuff for the last two weeks straight. You know that stuff cold. If you freeze remember those breathing exercises you've been doing with Marion, they might help. You writing a paper has never been a problem either so relax."

Willow looked over at him, her eyes shining. "You know you're the biggest confidence booster in the universes, right?" He shook his head. "Yeah, you are. Nothing anyone said has brought me out of the worry state, not even Oz. You just did it in a few sentences."

Oz smiled. "But he's good at that." He took the other's hands. "We're good with each other."

"We complete each other," Xander said. "We fill in the little gaps we each have."

Willow smiled. "Poetry? From you? Has Oz been giving you lessons?"

"No, he used to be able to do that all the time," Buffy said. "It was part of the joke thing." She drank the rest of her milk. "So, anyone want seconds? Otherwise that breast is mine." Willow blushed. "Not yours, that one. Yours are all of ours."

Xander passed over the plate of chicken. "There's more in the kitchen." He refused to comment on the innuendo. He looked over to his best male friend. "Oz? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just feel like something's still missing."

Willow looked concerned. "What?" She looked around. "Everything's in place, we're all here and healthy and happy for once. What's missing?"

"The Christmas presents. I miss their message."

Xander slapped himself in the forehead. "We never unpacked them." He jogged into the bedroom, coming back out with the three items. He hung up the tapestry, arranged the box and statue the way they used to be, then stepped back. "Better?"

Oz brightened up. "Yeah, much. Now it's home to me."

Xander pulled his chair closer to the older man's. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't want to appear controlling or over eager or anything." He looked down, scraping over his plate to move all the remaining bits. "This felt like home but not fully home. Sort of like an alternate version of home." He looked over at the younger man. "Sorry."

"Only be sorry about not bringing this up sooner," Xander said. He kissed the top of Oz's forehead. "Now eat, you'll pass out when they pounce you tonight if you don't." He grinned, walking into the kitchen. "Who wants more of what?"

"Broccoli and chicken," Willow asked, frowning at Buffy who'd eaten most of the plate's contents.

Oz smiled. "I'm seconding that. Buffy ate most of it and I only got two pieces."

"I asked," the blond young woman pointed out. She almost drooled at the sight of the chicken coming toward her. "I'll wait for you guys this time."

Willow snatched the plate. She chose the pieces she wanted, handing it to Oz without letting it get anywhere near Buffy's hands.

Oz offered it to Xander, but he shook it off, cutting up some of his first serving. "You sure? If she gets it, there's not going to be any left." He waved it around a bit. "Another juicy piece for the good cook?"

Xander smiled. "I'm not that great and I'm fine. Eat the rest of it." He took a bite. "Just leave me a slice of the cake."

Buffy pulled another piece off, looking at the freezer first. "I'm going to be such a gluttonous mass by the end of finals," she said.

"More of you to love," Willow said.

"Don't worry," Xander said, "I'm sure Giles will make you work it all off." He bent back to his meal, not forcing the issue of conversation anymore.

Oz looked at Willow and shrugged. She smiled and nodded. Buffy looked confused but Willow licked her lips while looking at her - she got the point quickly. She hurried up, not wanting to miss out.

When everyone but him was done, Xander got up to get the cake. Oz stopped him, pulling him down into his lap, taking the plate Willow handed him. "Why are you eating so slow?" He picked up a piece of chicken, feeding it to the younger man. "We've been waiting on you."

Xander shrugged. "I don't know." He opened his mouth to say more but more food was inserted by Oz. They worked like that, Xander opening his mouth to say something, Oz feeding him pieces of food, until the plate was empty.

"You can get up and grab the cake, but only after I get my hug payment," Oz said. Xander gladly paid it, using a quick, tight hug to pay the toll. He got up, grabbing the cake from the freezer, bringing it back out, to present it.

Willow laughed at the top. Buffy blushed, Oz stared. On the top of the cake was them, or three forms, entangled up on a bed with the word "Congratulations" over the top. He shook his head, taking the cake and handing it off so he could pull his lap muffin back down. "Why where there only three?" He tapped the younger man's forehead to emphasize his point. "There are four of us."

Xander grinned. "But only three of you do that stuff." His eyes briefly showed his hurt but he got up to serve them their cake, presenting each with a flourish. "Now eat. You all need your strength for later."

"You going to hide in the tub again?" Buffy asked.

Xander nodded, not saying a word. He made sure his mouth was full so he wouldn't have to.

' ' ' '

Willow rolled over in her sleep, patting the mattress beside her where Oz usually slept. When she didn't encounter anything, it woke her, making her pad out to the living room to see what was going on. "What's up?" she asked with a yawn.

Xander looked up from his book. "Nothing. I wasn't sleepy yet so I came out here to read. Oz followed me out and fell asleep in my lap." He looked back down at his book. "You should be sleeping, your test is an hour earlier than your class tomorrow." He didn't look at her when he felt her kneel at his feet, knowing she was trying to wake Oz. Of course he was wrong when her head came up under his book, stealing his breath with a kiss. "Willow," he groaned. "No."

"Please? Just come to bed and lay beside me." She put the book down. "We'll get him to come in with us and you can be in the middle."

"But that's not what I want," the younger man said sadly. "I don't want to be in the middle." He started to get loose, but she and Oz stopped him. "What?"

"You're not, at least not that way. I might be but you're not." She smiled at him. "I hear it's fun." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yeah, so I hear." He finished getting loose from the bodies. "Come on, I'll tuck you in." He followed the couple into the bedroom, pulling the blankets up around their chests. "Night," he said quietly but he was pulled down, gentle hands tucking him in with them. "Guys," he started.

"Unless you have something in the oven, you're staying," Oz said. He wrapped one of his strong arms around the too thin waist of the man between himself and his mate. "You need to eat more."

"I will, when finals are done." He snuggled down. "Night."

Oz looked over at Willow then toward the living room. She nodded, laying her head down on the strong shoulder. "Night," they said together.

Sometime during the night, Xander got out of bed. He couldn't sleep anyway and he didn't want to disturb those who needed it. Willow and Oz found him asleep on one of the couches early the next morning.

She frowned down at him, contemplating hitting him hard enough to wake him but she knew he hadn't been sleeping well so let it go. Oz pulled her into the kitchen, wanting to talk to her. "What?"

"What's up with him?" Oz looked over to make sure the younger man hadn't moved. "It's like he doesn't like us anymore."

"Maybe you pushed too hard." She shrugged, reaching around him for the never opened cereal. "Why don't you ask him?"

"Because he can hear you," came from the couch, "and it's not you two so quit worrying." The throw got shifted up higher. "Am I making breakfast?"

"No, you're eating it," Oz said. He carried his cereal bowl over to the set of couches, settling down between them. "Come on, get up and eat."

"Later."

"Now, Xander," Oz said firmly. "You're too thin and you're not sleeping. I want to know why." He removed the throw when no answer came, putting down his bowl when he saw the tightly clenched eyes. "Are you sick? Is it depression? Tell me?" He ran a hand over the tense forehead, checking for a fever. "You feel fine."

"I am fine. It's nothing."

"If it was nothing you'd be up with us, joking and laughing," Willow pointed out. She leaned over Oz's shoulder. "Are you sick?"

"No, nothing like that." He rolled onto his stomach, exposing a huge bruise on the back of one of his thighs. "I found this the other day."

Oz looked it over, touching it tenderly. "I've seen that before. The day I practiced on you there were a few unexplained bruises. What is it?"

"A protein deficiency. For some reason I'm bruising for no reason again." He shrugged. "I looked it up online and that's what I came up with. But I can't force myself to eat that much protein, not even on that protein diet."

"Hence the weight loss," Willow said. She shook her head. "Medicines?"

"Not a good choice. I can't remember my keys most days, much less taking five pills a day." He shook his head, ending up wiggling his whole body. "No, not an option, not even with a pill beeper. Hate those things."

"You're going to the doctor's this afternoon," Oz said. "This is ridiculous. Not even doctor's self- diagnose without tests." He swatted the firm rear. "I mean it. I'll go with you if you want, after my tests of course, but you're going."

Xander shrugged. "Okay, but I don't have one so I doubt it'll be today."

Willow sighed. "I know I'm not the only one here with a permanent doctor." When both of the guys looked at her like she was strange she rolled her eyes. "I can't refer you to her, she's a gynecologist." She thought for a moment. "But she's in practice with a few general practitioners. I'm sure we could get you in to see them." She went back to the bedroom, closing the door softly.

Oz looked down at his friend. "Why didn't you go before now?"

"Because sometimes it's better to not know." He retrieved the throw, covering himself again. "Night."

"Go to the bed."

"You're bossy this morning."

"Bed, now, Xander. I mean it. I won't have you sleeping out here again." He waited for the younger man to give in to the inevitable. When it didn't happen soon enough, he pulled off the throw. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Because of the protein diet. I've been having nightmares and I don't like them..."

"So you don't sleep," Oz finished. "That is so lame and it's not you either. Tell me." He leaned closer. "Please? You promised not to keep harmful secrets from us."

"I've seen the tape of my first night and it started then. Spike and Angel said something on the tape that's barely heard. They said that it was like old times and they could share me again." He shuddered. "Looking back, I'm wondering now what really happened while I was blindfolded. I couldn't tell the difference that first night and I still probably couldn't." He closed his eyes. "Satisfied?"

"Not really but it makes more sense than nightmares."

"I do have those. Last night it was a chicken jumping into my lap and demanding that I eat it. When I woke up, it was Buffy's arm that I was nibbling on."

Oz smiled. "So you're the night sucker?" Xander shook his head. "Then it wasn't you chewing on my chest last night?" He scratched the new hickey. "Wonder which one it was then."

"Buffy," Xander said. "She's done it to me a few times too. That's why the bruises didn't bother me at first. I thought it was her." He tried to cover himself up again but Oz threw it onto the other couch. "Oz..."

"No, bed now." He put down his empty bowl. "I mean it. I sleep better when you're in there and I'll protect you from her." He stood, holding out a hand to the younger man. Xander couldn't hold out anymore so he took it, was pulled up, and brought into the bedroom. "Sleep now," Oz said, tucking them both in behind Willow's sleeping body. "You need it and so do we." He laid his head on the younger man's chest, letting the calm heartbeat send him back to sleep.

' ' ' '

Xander looked over as the doctor wrote something out on his chart. "Was I right?"

"I'll have to wait for the tests, but I believe you are." He looked up. "Those bruises could only be caused by something like that." He shook his head. "That diet was dangerous though. You were probably already underweight." He flipped to the emergency room records. "Yes, I see that you were weighed last time and you were about five pounds under." He looked back over at the young man. "What would you suggest?"

"I'm horrible at remembering to take things like my keys so pills aren't really the answer." He shrugged. "I'm all for the modified diet, Willow's already set me up with an herbalist to get something there too."

The doctor made a face. "Yes, I'd heard about her. It won't hurt you and it might just help so I won't say anything about it, even if that isn't something I would prescribe." He looked back down at the charts. "Quite an interesting history you have here. A mugging that left you comatose for almost two weeks. A thrown rock giving you a concussion. Is your life always like this?"

Xander grinned. "Well..." He shook his head. "No, I'm involved in the latest dispute with Reverend Malistrom. He's attacking one of my roommate's family and my life. That was the rock incident. The mugging in the park was something else." He shrugged. "Not a worry now."

"Well, I hope they caught them." He made one last notation. "All right, I'm letting you go with just the modified diet today, we'll wait on anything else until we get the bloodwork back." He shook Xander's hand. "I hope to see you again in two weeks."

Xander nodded, hopping off the table. "Yeah, I want this to go away soon."

"Just remember to cure the other problem." He looked at the obvious hickey on his chest. "Who does that anyway?"

"One of my roommates. We don't know why, but she sucks in her sleep. We've all woken up with marks from her."

The doctor shook his head. "She might need to see someone. If you'd like to refer me, I'd be happy to see her, but I think that is a psychological problem instead of a physical." He shrugged. "Good day, Mr. Harris. The receptionist will make your next appointment on the way out." He left, giving Xander privacy to redress.

Xander walked out, stopping to pay and make his next appointment, then headed over to the Dairy Queen across the street. Now was as good a time as any to start in on the new diet.

' ' ' '

Willow looked up as Xander walked in, DQ bag swinging in his hands. "So?"

"Protein deficiency and Buffy needs to work on her nighttime sucking thing." He shrugged, sitting down across from her on the other sofa. "What next?"

She held up her book. "Medieval poetry." She shrugged. "Not a big, an identify, an explain it, and a write one section." She put the book down. "Medicine?"

"Diet until we get the blood work back and a follow-up in two weeks." He took out his hotdog. "I can eat all the protein I want but I have to balance it out with the other four food groups too."

Willow grimaced. "Do you know what's in those?"

"Tell me and I'll feed you liver tonight," he promised right before taking a bite.

She shook her head. "You eat like a teenager."

"I am one," he said. "For another couple of months at least." He grinned. "Or are we thinking I've already had that one?"

"No, I know when your birthday is. I meant a young teen, like mall running teen." She looked out the window, unable to watch Xander eat that vile concoction of semi-meat and toppings. "Tell me when you're done."

Xander finished quickly. "Okay," he said, mouth full still. He swallowed as she turned back around, pulling out the dietary form. "Here. You be the mom for a while."

She smiled. "I am a little better suited for it." She glanced over at him. "You don't quite have the right equipment."

He shook his head, tossing a throw pillow over at her as he sat back. "So unfair. I'm a good mother to you guys."

"Yeah," Buffy said, coming out of the bedroom, "you are. You take good care of us." She pulled his shirt aside. "Sorry," she said.

He shrugged. "You haven't really done that since Christmas. I woke up with one on my back that next day."

"Did he say what sort of problem it was?"

Xander fudged. "He said it was probably something that you were thinking or dreaming about at night that was making you suck like that." He touched her arm. "You aren't breaking the skin to suck down the blood."

Buffy sat down next to him. "I know but it's still a problem. I asked Mom and she said I didn't even used to suck my thumb." Her shoulders slumped. "This is so unfair to pile on top of you right now."

Xander shrugged. "I'm not doing anything." He looked down at his watch. "Matter of fact, I don't have anything to do for another month almost. That summer job with the toy company doesn't start until then."

Buffy nodded. "Mine starts in three weeks."

Willow smiled. "Mine starts in three weeks too but I can work at home." She looked down at what Buffy was wearing. "You do know that you're going to have to dress differently to work there?" The older woman nodded. "Okay, just checking. I like those skirts of yours but I don't want those guys you'll be working with to be looking at you like I do."

Buffy smiled. "Yes, dear, Oz and I picked up some working type of clothes on our last shopping trip." She leaned against Xander's side. "Thank you for that gift certificate by the way."

Xander looked confused. "Gift certificate?" He shrugged. "Not me."

Buffy looked up, then at Willow, who was also shaking her head. "Then where did it come from?"

"Not us," Oz said, closing the door behind him. "I saw it but I didn't get it either." He shrugged, sitting down beside Willow and pulling the diet sheet out of her hands to look at it. "Diet?"

"Until my blood work comes back." He looked down at the bag. "I'm supposed to be eating five meals a day now instead of two."

"Then I guess we're going to have to get some of those microwave meals for you to pop in when you don't feel like cooking." Willow pulled the paper back. "I'm his diet monitor."

"You get to mother him now for a change?" She nodded. "Oh, watch out Xan, she's going to be tough on you."

The younger man shook his head. "Not as much as I am." He looked around the apartment. "What are we doing the rest of the day?"

Buffy started to say something but shook her head, closing her mouth. Oz looked at her, silently promising her to do that to her later.

Willow was the one that came up with a suggestion. "Movie?"

"Shopping?" Xander said. "We'd have to go to the one in the mall since the other theater is closed due to some fire damage." He grabbed the paper, turning it to the entertainment section so he could check on what was playing. "Nothing on." He handed it over. "Unless one of you wants to see one of those."

Willow and Oz looked over the listings, both shaking their heads. "Not us," he said.

Buffy took the paper, reading down the listings. "Why are all of them romances? Where are the good comedies and action movies?" She tossed the paper down. "Not me, I have no desire to watch people fight to not like each other for two hours." She blushed. "I..."

Xander laid a hand over her mouth. "Don't." She nodded. "Thanks." He looked around some more. "Now what?"

"Buff and I have a final tonight," Oz pointed out. "We could go to a decent dinner but nothing else really tonight."

Buffy looked upset. "That's tonight?" He nodded. "I haven't even studied."

Willow shook her head. "Come on, you can work on my back to practice. I'm tense anyway."

Oz watched them go, shaking his head. "Dinner?" The younger man nodded. "Where?"

"Chinese?"

"Last week." He thought for a second. "Scandinavian?"

"Gross. Not for me." He shook. "I don't like fish that much and I don't like that restaurant."

"It's not all fish."

"Yeah, but the only things I can see me eating are the fish." He shrugged. "That leaves Italian, pizza, or Middle Eastern which will kill my stomach."

"Italian it is," Oz said. He took out his wallet, frowning at the contents. "Make that pizza."

"I'll buy, come on." He stood, pulling Oz with him out the door. After a few minutes, he walked back in to grab his wallet and phone off the table. "We're going out for supper," he yelled.

"'Kay," Willow called back.

Xander ran down the stairs, jogging across the street to his car. "Okay, got money and cards, told girls. We're set." He started the car, but didn't pull out. "Does this bother you?"

"What? You paying for supper?" Xander nodded. "Not really. It's okay every once in a while but I would expect to have to do it sometimes too." He shrugged. "I'm not into making a big deal about your money."

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure. I don't want any hurt feelings because I can do these things routinely and you can't always."

Oz patted his arm. "We just have to budget tighter." He turned around. "What's going on?" He watched as an officer walked into their building, followed by another. "Want to bet it's about us?"

"In this town? Is there anything else?" They both got out of the car, running up the stairs to their apartment, stopping the police as were about to enter. "Can we help you?" Xander asked.

"Yes, we have a summons here for Alexander Harris?" He raised his hand and took the paper. "You are to appear in court on that date to answer to your family's charges against you."

Xander sat down to look at the paper. "What's this about this time?" He read the paperwork, well versed now in legalese. "They're suing me?"

The officer nodded. "It seems. It's a civil suit, we were just asked to deliver it." She came down to stand in front of him. "I'm afraid I'm also to confiscate your credit cards."

He shook his head. "Not without a warrant," he said. He got up, going into the apartment. "You can talk to my lawyer." He dialed the number, waiting for it to be picked up. "Hey, it's me. Why are the police here to confiscate my cards because my parents are suing me?" He handed over the phone. "Wants to talk to you." He stepped out of the way, rereading the suit.

She hung up. "All right. I know that we don't have a court order, but try not to use them tonight."

"I'm on my way out to dinner." He shrugged. "When you have a judge's order, then come back." He leaned against the end of a couch. "Besides, I have more than one trust, I have the right to use that money." She nodded. "Thank you for delivering it, officer, I know this isn't you."

She pulled her partner out the door. "Thank you. You'd be surprised how hostile some people get."

Xander waited until they were gone before turning to hit the side of a bookcase. "My parents need eliminating." He sat down, falling backward over the arm. "This is such a crock."

Oz took the summons. "Suing you over your grandmother's estate?" he read. Xander nodded. "Why? They didn't like her anyway."

"Power move," Willow said, coming back out. "We didn't think it was wise to come out while they were here." She sat down beside her friend. "Now what?"

"Now, Willow, my lawyer gets to eat them for lunch." He smiled a nasty smile. "Come on, let's go eat then we'll stop by his house. That's what he said to do anyway." He was pulled up by Oz. "Thanks man. You two with us?" He refolded the summons, putting it into his pocket, checking for his wallet at the same time.

Willow shook her head after looking at Buffy. "Nah, you two go have a guy time." She patted Buffy's side. "I'll let her practice on me a little longer."

"Just don't wear out your hands," Oz said, leaning over to kiss each one of them. "I'll see you in class." He pulled the younger man out the door. "You okay?" he asked once they were in the car.

Xander nodded, shifting gears. "Yeah, never better. I'm going to do to them what should have been done the first time they tried to terrorize me into coming back." He smiled, nastily at best, dirty at worst. "I'm going to pulverize them publicly." He pulled out into traffic, heading for the little Italian restaurant he knew Oz liked.

' ' ' '

Xander handed over the summons, walking into the upscale house. "Thanks for letting me come over." He ran a hand through his hair. "Can they even do this?"

The older man led them into the library, settling him into a comfortable chair. "Technically, yes. Ethically, no, but I don't think that was a consideration." He sat down himself, reading over the suit. "But we do have a leg to stand on here. Remember how you got her stuff?" Xander nodded. "Well that was a judge's decision. It would have to be overturned for them to take back the money or anything else she left you." He looked up briefly. "They aren't mentioning, yet, your other trust."

"I got into an almost-argument with the cop that dropped that off, telling her that she couldn't take my credit card because I had another source of income. I think I mentioned the trust."

"We may have to mention it in court." He shrugged. "I don't know what to say if we do."

"Me either." He looked over, slight grin. "I thought lawyers were supposed to be able to cloud the truth."

The older man shook his head. "I'm actually ethical. I didn't take that class." He leaned back. "Of course, I know another one of the Mistress' former protected ones and he might be able to help since he's a lawyer also but much less ethical than I am." He shook his head. "I really don't know what to tell you."

"I only have one intention, to stop them from doing this again," Xander said. "It's not right that they keep doing this to me."

The older man nodded. "Very true. I can see that there's a restraining order in place in the morning." He looked over the papers again. "What else is new?"

"Nothing. My roommates are taking tests tonight." He shrugged. "Nothing on at home, we were going out to dinner when the cops showed up. Oz and I anyway."

The lawyer nodded. "That might cause a problem." Xander looked confused. "Your roommates."

"We have four beds in the house." He looked around. "I don't see where they could get us on that."

"Four?"

"Two sleepers, two futons, and the bed. Five." He grinned. "Not that we don't all tend to dogpile in the middle of the huge bed but that's it. I'm not in their relationship."

The older man made a note on a pad that he pulled off the desk. "Tell me more."

"Oz and Will are engaged."

"Will being Willow?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, and Buffy is part of what they have. They may tease me but I'm not part of that."

The older man made a thoughtful sound. "That does sound helpful, but your orientation may be called into question, even though it has no bearing." He looked up briefly. "Would that bother you?"

"I'm very open. I don't announce it to the world but when asked I tell the truth about it. I'm bi with a strong leaning toward men." He relaxed back into the chair. "Why would they be able to do that?"

"Because it can go toward mental state. It's seen as being too different to be in a poly relationship by the state court. Last year, a woman was ruled mentally unfit because she was in one." He shrugged. "Not my thing but it's not right."

Xander nodded. "Nope, It's not but I'm still not a part of them."

' ' ' '

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