Packs of Old Ones.

Natasha walked up to Director Fury and slugged him.  He blinked at her from the floor.  "You sent me to get information from a gay man," she said.  "Did it occur to anyone to tell me this information so I did not waste so much time doing it?"  She walked off.  "You will need someone else."

"I can assign someone else," he said, rubbing his jaw.  "You need weight training again, Romanoff."

She glared back at him.  "I was being kind.  Otherwise you would've felt the bite of my stinger."  She smirked slightly and looked at Maria.  She tossed over the USB key.  "A proper background on the target since ours was pathetic."  She left, going back to Stark.  Dawn was waking up.

Maria Hill ran it, looking at the corrections and groaned.  "I'll talk to our people in Research, sir."  She went to do that.  People had been thinking she had been softer since the kids were born.  They were about to be proven wrong.

Fury came out shaking his head.  "Wonderful."  Joyce held up two advil packets.  "Thank you, Summers."  He went back into the office.  "Has Barton checked in?"

"He's local since they had to rescue Dawn last night," Joyce said.  "But I haven't gotten a thing from them, Director."

He groaned.  "Why?"

"General Piers."

"Never mind," he muttered.  "Hopefully he's dead since he wanted to cut our funding."  He took the advil and settled in to work on the reorganization.

Loki appeared, smirking at Joyce.  "My spouse wishes your boss to report to him today."

She pointed behind her.  "He's sitting right there.  I'm an assistant, not a herald."  Loki smirked evilly at her.  She smirked back and put something on the desk.

"How did you get that?" he asked, staring at the dagger.  "Is that hind's blood?"

"Yes, it is."

"That does not work on the Aesir."

She held up the dagger so he could see the handle.  "Yes, but the dagger itself has a name for a reason."

He stared then at her.  "When did you turn mean?"

"When people started to try to take my younger daughter for their plots and idiocy."  She smiled.

He shuddered.  "At least you're a protective mother."

"Yes, I am."  He disappeared.  "Director, the president would like a word."

"I heard," he complained.  "Can we borrow that?"

"No, sir.  It's my last birthday present from Natasha."

"Huh."  He called the president.  "Is there a problem, sir?  I just saw your spouse."

"The reorganization is going sideways, Fury.  What are you going to do about it?"

"Send me what the problem is and I'll tell you later tonight," he said.  "I haven't heard a single thing today outside of an agent telling me that her target was gay so she wasn't effective."

The president snorted.  "Wonderful."  He pointed at the file.  "Loki, please deliver that?"

"Sir, I'll have someone come get it," Fury said.  "That way it can't get lost.  Coulson?"

"I'm busy, sir," the voice from the air said.  "We have six drug and weapons dealers who are extremely compromised by something that's making them act like zombies who are surrounding the target we were to be guarding.  They've already taken down two agents who were guarding him.  It will be at least an hour."  His voice faded out.

Xander appeared with the files.  "These?" he asked dryly.  He handed them over and looked at the president.  "Tell Dad his zombie potion is still really stupid and if he expects me to exempt him from this year's chaos kid surge, I've had enough already."  He disappeared.

Fury shuddered.  "As long as there's no tentacles this time," he decided.

"Tentacles?" the president asked. 

Fury got the files from Stark after a quick IM message.  He sent them to the president with a smile.  "The Elder Ones decreed that all children of chaos gods with powers were to be the ones that powered them for the decade."  He hung up.

In DC, Loki looked over from his spot on the couch.  "My son was prompted into that one by Roque and Mexican food.  He's no longer allowed to eat Mexican food or anything else that gives him gas."

The president watched it, shuddering and holding himself.  "Damn!"

Loki smirked.  "It was quite powerful.  I'm still almost fully charged from that one."  He went back to his book.  He could feel some extra chaos going on in Greece but he wasn't sure why.  As far as he knew, Janus didn't have anyone to power him.


"That's it, no one's ever getting any ever again," Cupid shouted.

"You can't do that," his mother complained.  "It can hurt humanity, sweetie."

"What do I care?"  He stomped off.

Aphrodite sighed and sent out a godly memo about it.


Dawn heard it and groaned.  This was not a good week.

Phil looked up then at Xander, who shrugged and kissed him.  "Not working on us."

"Should we ask him what's wrong?"

"No, he'll vent, he'll rescind it, then it'll all go away again."

"If you're sure."  Phil curled up against Xander's chest, teasing him into pouncing.  Xander had a very good pounce on him.


Three days later, Dawn sighed in displeasure.  She was on lunch and went to handle something.  Someone needed to.  They were nagging Xander for having sex when Cupid said no one could.  She appeared in Cupid and Aphrodite's temple.  "Are you suicidal?" she asked him.  He glared.  She stared back.  "Seriously, are you?"

"No!" he snorted.

"Yet, you just cut off your supply of power, which can kill your blond ass."  He growled.  She stared at him.  "Please!" she said dryly, flapping a hand.  "Hellion growls better.  If you're that suicidal, go take a mortal vacation."

"What?" he demanded.

She moved closer and tapped him on the forehead.  "Go."  He faded out with a yelp.  She went to talk to Hera.  "What happens when a god doesn't get fed any power for a few days?" she asked at their glare.  They were in a meeting about Cupid.

"They fade," Apollo said, then his eyes went wide.  "Shit, I didn't even consider that.  Xander was keeping him here."

"Now, he's immortal but in a mortal life for a bit.  Call it a vacation."  She stared at him.  "Totally unlike his life.  He's got a mortal family for a few years."  Strife stiffened.  She looked at him and grinned.  "You've seen him."

"I thought he was an offspring," Strife said, smirking evilly at her.

"No, I sent him back about twenty years so he'd appear as a mid-range teenager.  That way he could build up to it.  And I bet he probably knows what he forgot before."  She disappeared to go back to work since Tony was at her desk.  "Need filed or typed?"

"Typed."  He let her have it.  "Where were you?"

"Olympus helping Cupid because he was so depressed he tried to commit suicide by cutting off his power supply."

He shuddered.  "No wonder I haven't had sex in days."  He went to talk to Pepper.

Dawn smiled, getting back to work.  An email popped up with a location and a time.  She sent back she couldn't get there.  She wasn't supposed to teleport and it'd have to be the next day since she had it off.  Then she got back to work.  Another one got sent so she made flight reservations.


Hera looked at Apollo.  "He was going to go critical."

"Within days," he agreed, then sighed.  "I didn't even see it."  He slumped, looking at his King and Queen.  "A mortal life would solve most of it.  He was feeling it was so useless by looking at his journal.  That it was all the same."

Strife nodded.  "She put him in a life that lead him to rely more on his dad's side than his ma's."   He crossed his legs and smirked slightly.  "That's a wicked idea and it'd help.  Whenever I'm in that mood, I go play with some orphans."

Hera nodded.  "I go visit children in shelters.  Ones that their parents had profaned my area."

"That's actually about what we did when we switched realms for a bit," Zeus admitted.  "It's an inspired plan.  Can he come back?"

Strife checked then nodded.  "In about two years."  They nodded that'd be fine.  His area was back on automatic with him being unable to move the power flows around.  It solved his curse nicely.  Ares looked over at Strife so he showed him.  Ares smirked and nodded.  "Definitely more your side," he quipped with a grin.


Dawn walked into the clearing in the woods, putting her phone back in her pocket.  She looked at the two guys there.  "Hey, Martin, hey, Frank."  She hugged them both.  "Why the meeting?"

"Victoria called it," Frank said with a smirk.  "Mostly because she's found someone who wants to snatch you."

"Gee, unlike the others in my life?" she asked dryly.  "How rare is that?" she finished sarcastically.

Martin shook his head.  "That's so bad, Dawn.  You used to be sweeter."

She smiled.  "Yes, I used to be.  Then someone decided to poison the food in the house somehow last night and I'm in a bad mood."

"Mood swings happen," a female, British voice said calmly.

Dawn smiled at her.  "Victoria.  Thank you for the help earlier as well."

"Child, that's not a problem and that particular curse was not warranted or wanted."  She smiled, looking at her stomach.  "Seven?"

She nodded.  "Just into my seventh month.  Tell him to leave Benji alone?  He's supposed to be watching me for Clint."

"He is.  They're chatting."  She waved a hand.  "Are you healthy?"

"Cranky.  My spouses are on assignment."  She grinned.  "I may have to pull in my boss to help me through the labor."

"Don't ask us," Martin said quickly.  "I never want to see that."

Dawn looked at him.  "Martin, I don't want you to see me naked.  Thanks.  Really."  He grinned.  She heard a branch snap and looked at the young guy walking up to them.  "Hi."

"Bitch," he muttered in Greek.  She swatted him and unblocked his other memories.  He sighed.  "You were right."

"Duh?" she asked with a grin.  "Need more?  I give *excellent* hugs."

"No, I'm good.  So does the wife.  She reminds me of you but she's sane and nice."  He smirked.

She laughed.  "I was nice until people decided I was their wanted treat."  She looked at Victoria then at Cupid's present mortal life as a CIA agent and 'fixer'.  "So, anyway, which one wants me this time?"

He groaned, handing over the file.  "More than one."

"Any of them responsible for the poisoning of the house last night?"

"Not that I'm aware of."  He looked at the guy being led over.  "I know you."

"I know you too," he said dryly.  "Dawn, he's a bit nasty."

She smiled at him.  "Slightly.  I met Victoria a few years ago.  Frank and Martin cleaned up the Initiative mess when it got shut down by the group.  I'm pretty safe and if this guy wants to attack me I'm going to kill his ass with my nice present from my wife last year."  She grinned.  "She got me a dagger that's called God Killer.  My mom has the other one."  Cupid shuddered.  She smiled at her.  "Freely given too."

"Where did she find a hind?" Cupid demanded.

"Somewhere on Asgard."

"Huh.  We wondered where they went to hide."  He looked up and shook his head then looked at her.  "Grandma's pissed."

"Grandma's not pissed."  She grinned.  "I pointed out the problem they hadn't seen."  She looked at him.  "Better?"

"I am."  She smiled.  "They're evil, princess."

"Only Clint gets away with that name."  She read over the file, shaking her head.  She handed one to Victoria.  "Unless he's resurrected, he's been dead for over a year.  This one got it in Brazil, and this one in Peru."  She handed those over.  That left three.  She looked up, thinking at her spouses.  Who were both at home wondering where she was.  She smiled at them and pulled them to her.  Clint landed on his ass.  Natasha barely managed to land on her feet.  "Sorry, dear."  She helped him up and handed him the folder, taking a kiss.  "More bad guys who want our kid."

He stared down at her.  "The house has no food."

"It all got poisoned.  Again."

"How?" Natasha demanded.

Dawn shrugged.  "No idea but the little sensor in the fridge was registering a light that was on top of the 'arsenic' label."

"Damn it," Clint muttered.  He looked at the files.  He handed them to Natasha.  "Okay," he decided.  He looked around.  "Victoria."

"Clinton."  She smiled and patted him on the hand.  "Dawn is such a darling young woman.  I'm so glad she found someone to be happy with."

"Victoria's related back to Dr. Peter," Dawn said with a grin.  "Frank and Martin cleaned up Finn's mess."

"Thanks," he told them.  "I would've killed them all."  He looked at her then at Cupid.  It had to be Cupid, even though he had dark hair.  Cupid nodded he was right.  "How?"  Cupid pointed at Dawn.  Who just smiled at him.  He kissed her.  "I love it when you're devious."

She beamed.  "Me too."

"You two are like sugary maple syrup candy.  Can you quit before I get cavities?" Cupid complained.  The others laughed.

Natasha looked up at him.  "It is better to have her cuddly, happy, and needy than to have her pouty, angry, evil, or upset."

"Yes, it is," Cupid said, shuddering.

Dawn grinned.  "It's *that* year."

"Xander can fight it," he assured her.

"Maybe."  She smiled sweetly.  Cupid stared then walked off to bang his head into a tree.

"We missed something," Frank said, raising a hand slightly.

"Dawn had to have my help to put his records into certain places," Victoria said with a smile.  "Which is why I was quite upset when he showed up to kill us."  She stared at him.

He looked at her.  "Sorry.  Orders."

"I've had many like that," she admitted.  Dawn grinned at them.  "It'll be fine, dear."  She looked at Frank.  "He's not exactly normal."

"He's got a hidden Greek lineage," Dawn said.

"Greek...." Martin said.  "Like that Alexander guy?"

"Yeah," she said dryly.  "Just like Xander only his was Norse and Hindu."  They both groaned.  "So I arranged it with Victoria to put his records where they needed to be back then through her younger self via letter."

"I actually figured out what was wrong within days," Cupid sighed.  "But it's nice to not be in the life I had before."

Dawn shrugged.  "Hey, no wings batting you now and then."

"True, no one with wings are around to bat at me.  Even winged dogs."  She grinned.  "That was so screwy of him," he complained.  He looked at Clint and Natasha.  He had tried to keep them together way back when but now he knew why they hadn't managed it.  Dawn was needed as the lock to hold their lives together.  He looked at her stomach.  "He's a strong kid."

"We've been keeping that it was a boy out of everywhere," Clint told him.  "Because more people would want him if they thought he was a boy."

"Yeah, I get that," he agreed.  "You're right.  Pop's got a few that're all but drooling."

"Eww," Dawn quipped.  "No drooling on me."  He laughed.  She grinned at Clint.  "You don't drool."

"I don't," he said with an evil smirk for.  "Though I'm feeling the urge to spank you."

"You wanted both hands to work, right?" she quipped back.  She took a kiss.  "If you cure this *itch* of mine tonight I might even finish the stuff for your other ID," she said quietly.  "Benji and I have been putting it in."  He moaned and nodded.  "Benji?"

"Got it done earlier," he admitted.  "Though I agree with the guy there.  You guys are sappy."

Dawn smiled.  "It's called happiness, Benji."

"You definitely are and it's very sweet to see," Victoria said with a smile.  "Just two more months, Dawn."

She nodded.  "And they had better not be on assignment then."

They all heard an engine driving nearby and being shut off.  "That's not Sarah," Martin said, pulling out a stuffed pig.

Dawn scanned and shook her head.  "No, it's not Sarah, Frank."  They all pulled guns.  Dawn hid behind Clint but had her own.  They all stared at her.  She shrugged.  "Not the first time this week."

"Benji," Clint complained.

"Bloke tried to gas the whole tower," he complained.  "We got 'em before they managed it."

Dawn nodded.  "Idiots."  The person coming through the trees was female, a bit severe looking.  "Wow, I didn't think Frou was real," she said quietly, cracking Clint up.

"Miss Summers, if you'll come with me," she said.

Dawn stepped out from behind her husband.  "How about I just kill you?"

"You wouldn't," she said with a smile.  "You're a pleasant, sweet young woman."

Dawn shot her.  "Who's had to beat a lot of people," she said to the woman who was bleeding on the forest floor.  "I've had to kill three people this month, lady.  Clearly your research department is as bad as the one at SHIELD sometimes."  She grinned.  "Now, who sent you?  Because I doubt my spouses will let me torture you but ....  I do have mood swings and I can pout them into letting me have you.  I'm out of practice."  The woman tried to move away from her.  She stared at her.  "I *was* a nice young woman until people kept trying to take me.  The first few you get scared.  After that, you get pissed the fuck off."  The woman nodded.  "Now, who the fuck are you?"  She walked over and stepped on the wound, letting her heel hit it.  "Who.  Are.  You?" she asked, pointing the gun at her.

"I'm with IMF."

Benji took her picture to look it up.  "No, you're not."  He showed Clint.

"Hey, she's with the other group the World Security Council screwed over.  Dawn, can we?"

Dawn nodded, getting off her.  The woman tried to lunge until Dawn shot her in the side.  She screamed and went down.  "Oops, did I change the clip magically to the acid ones?  Huh.  Imagine me doing that," she said dryly.  "And they're not fatal.  Today."  She smiled.

Cupid shuddered.  "Dawn, when did you turn that evil?"


"Huh.  So that's what Apollo was talking about."

She grinned at him.  "I have a bad habit of leaving injuries that won't ever heal so he gets a bit panicky about me sometimes."  She looked down.  "Since I'm not supposed to be using any magic right now, I had to improvise.  Then again, I'm pretty near the rank of Mistress of Poisons."  She stared at her.  "The things you learn from a book that Rosenburg had."  Cupid shuddered.  "Then I got some from SHIELD over Phil's shoulder." 

She grinned.  The woman tried to move.  Natasha helped her up and into the trees.  Clint followed.  Benji shuddered.  She grinned at him.  "I'd never poison you.  Whoever sent the poison last night got it back.  I banished it at them.  So they're in hell right now."  She looked at the elder spies and shrugged.  Then grabbed her stomach.  "Ow, ow, ow, son.  Stop it.  I know you love it when I'm mean, but really.  Must you?"  Victoria laughed and pulled her over to rub out the cramp caused by the tiny feet.

Cupid shook his head.  "I do not want to remember being there," he said.  The guys all stared at him.  He shrugged.  "Goddesses, guys.  They're like that sometimes."

Dawn looked at him.  "Clay's still on the IUD thanks to Roque's mom."

"That's going to be one badass, ugly kid," Cupid decided.  "They're both handsome enough but that kid's going to ugly and like weapons a lot."

Dawn smiled.  "Remember, Clay's a yellow fur."

Cupid paused then shuddered.  "Yeah, Pops would *love* that kid in his service."  He sent a thought at his father about that.  He frowned and looked up.  "Someone hit Phil with it."

Dawn sent a shout/prayer at Phil about that.  And about the woman that her spouses were torturing for her.  It was making her a bit sniffly that they were so mean on her behalf.


Phil paused in the meeting and looked at himself, scanning himself.  He glared up.  "Do not *attempt* it again," he warned.  "I will retaliate."  The spell on him suddenly disappeared.  "Thank you, Freya!"

"Problems?" Fury asked.

"Freya decided Xander needed children.  She decided that Roque's mother had a good idea, sir."

Fury blinked a few times.  "She made you fertile?  You have two or four kids already, Coulson."  He had no idea who the father of the younger two children were and he was not going to ask Tara or Hill that question.

"No, sir, she made it so I could carry the next one."  Fury shuddered and curled up a bit.  "I'm not pleased either."

Xander appeared and kissed him on the forehead.  He manifested his axe.  "Let me go talk to my aunt."  He disappeared.

"I want to help," Phil reminded him.  "Excuse me for a few moments, sir."  He disappeared, calling his sword to him.  They had to hunt down an evil bitch love goddess.

Fury looked at Hill, who was still looking horrified.  "Scan all the others, make sure it hasn't spread somehow.  I doubt she just hit him."  She nodded quickly and sent that order.  He went to have a drink.  The flask in his desk was empty in a gulp and the two bottles hidden in his filing cabinets got drained nearly as fast.

"Fuck you!  I don't want to be pregnant either!  I have Phil's kids for the moment, thank you!" Xander's voice shouted.  Fury shuddered and left, letting someone drive him to a liquor store then to his safehouse of the night.  He did not want to remember that.


Cupid looked up then at Dawn.  "They're really pissed off at love gods."

"Freya did it," she quipped, waving a hand in the air.  "Yell at her."

Cupid shook his head.  "Mom wanted to help."  He walked off shaking his head.

"So, how godly are you?" Martin asked.

He paused then grinned.  "I'm Cupid."  Frank moaned.  He smirked at him.  "I can make it get better but I don't use a crossbow much anymore.  Internet porn sometimes but not the old crossbow real often."  He faded out.  He went to talk to his father then get back to work.  This mortal identity was helping him blow off stress.  It was appreciated.

Dawn shrugged.  "He cursed everyone everywhere to never get any again."

"Then it's a good thing he could cure that," Frank decided.  "I'd be miserable."

"Me as well," Victoria said.  She smiled at Dawn, who grinned back.  "They should be spoiling you."

"They've been on assignment.  I vowed if at least one of them wasn't there for the birth I was going to summon them no matter what they were doing and where they were."

Clint came out of the trees using some hand sanitizer.  "I have about three days worth of work, maybe a week."  He took a kiss and smiled.  "Okay?"

"If you must."

"I must."  He took another kiss, this one deeper and making Dawn moan and clutch at him.  He smirked.  "I leave again on Thursday."

"It's Tuesday," she reminded him.

"Exactly."  She squealed and took him and Natasha with her.

Benji shook his head.  "She's been lonely."

"I know that feeling very well," Victoria said blandly.  She patted him on the cheek.  "How is that Ethan boy?  I heard Clint nicknamed him a flying squirrel in his reports."

Benji laughed.  "He's still pouting about that name."

"Wonderful.  A bit of pouting is good for a boy.  He could use it to find someone worthy of his skills."  She walked off with him.  "My house for coffee, boys."

"Yes, Victoria," Frank said, shaking his head.  "I thought Sunnydale was weird," he complained quietly.

"Well, she's from there," Martin complained.

"Good point."  They followed Victoria home so they could have coffee and catch up.  Benji was in awe of the 'man of the house' but he only smiled and assured him he didn't want anyone IMF dead at the moment.  Though if he caught Hunt in his staff offices again that may change.


Ethan looked up as Benji walked into his hotel suite with Clint and Natasha behind him.  "We need more help?"

"Yes," Natasha said.  "My case just intersected yours."  She handed over a folder.

Ethan read it, nodding.  "Great."  He put it down, looking at Benji.  "Your knee?"

"Fairly good.  Did all the workouts they wanted.  Still a bit stiff sometimes but I know how to keep it going."

Ethan smiled.  "Good.  You look odd."

"I met Victoria."

"As in British sniper goddess Victoria?" Ethan demanded.  Benji nodded.  "Why?  Did she capture Dawn?  Or Stark?"

"No, she called Dawn for a meeting," Clint said, sliding into a chair.  "Apparently Dawn knew her and knew a few of her RED buddies because they had helped shut down the Initiative mess."

Ethan shook his head quickly.  "So what happened?"

"Someone from your old agency, the one that split off to become IMF, wanted to take her into custody.  Victoria helped a slight mood swing and a cramp from a kick," Clint said.  "And we talked to the agent for Dawn after she shot her."

Ethan stared at him.  "That's a bit farfetched, even for your spouse."

Natasha smiled slightly and nodded.  "It surprised us too when Dawn summoned us."  Ethan moaned, shaking his head.  "It was handled however and your bosses, former and present, no longer want to own our wife or our son."

Ethan looked at them.  "Did you slip me something?" he asked Natasha.  "Acid, mind control agent?"

She shook her head.  "I did not.  Sorry."

"Hey, it could be worse," Clint said.  "Xander and Coulson had to go *talk* to a love goddess who decided they needed to be fertile and have more babies."

"I think it was nice that Coulson managed to injure her as she tried to get away from Xander," Natasha said.

"It was, yes," Clint agreed with a grin.  "Though I'm wondering why most love gods and goddesses are blonds."

"That is interesting.  Most war gods are darker haired," she said.  "Huh."

"We know more?" Ethan asked.

"They have banquets," Clint complained.  "Formal, have to wear a suit, has protocol worse than meeting royals, banquets."

"Depending on who's throwing it, you have to dress in their native dress or formal attire," Natasha said.  "If the Hindu one throws one we'll both need new saris," she told Clint.  Who moaned and nodded.  She smiled.  "You can unwrap both of us."

"Yes, I can."  He smirked slightly at her.

Ethan looked at Benji.  "Shoot me?"

"Sorry, can't do your job instead," he said dryly.  His phone beeped.  He looked at it.  "Stark said that your phone is out of order, Barton, and that you're an evil asshole because you made Dawn have a flirty, teasing day without you there to handle it."  He showed him the included picture.

Clint moaned, looking at the outfit.  "Damn."

Natasha took it to look at, shivering.  "If we were home."  She handed the phone back and thought at Dawn, who quipped she was in a cuddly mood too.  She'd cuddle the twins later.  She and Clint shared a look.  "Let us handle this today."

"Yeah, let's before I go nuts," Ethan decided.  They went over the file together and had a plan of action within minutes.  Nothing ornate, nothing that'd require Ethan to hang from a wire, climb a building, break into a sealed vault.  Just a simple handling it.   They'd be back in New York by tomorrow morning if they could do it before the midnight flight out.

Ethan almost pouted about the simple plan but he'd learn to live with it.  He had been married once and he remembered hurrying home a few times.  Though his wife had never looked like that.


Clint strolled off the elevator at Stark, pulling Dawn up with a grin for Pepper.  "Need her?"

"No, she's got today off once she finishes the three simple things that she's been avoiding."

Dawn looked in there.  "I'm not doing that HR paperwork for my doctor's own protection.  I'm not going to look into circumcision for the son, and I'm not really caring if the people in lab 8 want an apology.  They don't get it or deserve it."  She smiled.

"Keep the peace, look into it anyway in case your spouse wants it done, and do the parts that won't compromise her or else they might not pay her," Pepper said with a smile.

"Fuck," Dawn muttered, sitting down to do those forms and handing him the book.  "Be damned but here."

He looked at it then at her.  "I'm cut," he pointed out.

She smiled at him.  "Have to pay out of pocket because the insurance won't cover it.  We're not religious in a group that would require it, and why?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "It does make it easier.  I've met a few who weren't that had girls giggle at them and ask if they were deformed."

Dawn shook her head.  "We'll talk about it after breakfast?"

He smiled.  "You didn't eat?"

"I fed the kids and was running late because nothing fit again."  She wrote out the insincere apology letter as well and handed them to Pepper.  "They're damn lucky I didn't burn them for it."  She walked off with Clint.  Tony walked past them looking confused.  "It's my day off, boss."

"Uh-huh.  Pepper, did Dawn get a day off?"

"Yes," she said patiently.  "She does deserve one and she's already pulled sixty hours this week."

"Not like I had a reason to go home since the twins decided to camp with Grandma."  Clint grinned at her.  "Until last night."


"They wanted to.  They asked.  Diana's grounded and she nearly begged."

"What did she do?"

"She snuck off without telling anyone to go to the children's museum."

"Awww."  He took her home and let her get them inside.  Natasha was finishing the dishes.  "She fed the kids and not herself, Nat."

She smiled at them.  "We'll feed her soon."  Dawn beamed and nodded, pouncing Clint for a kiss.  Clint moaned and held onto her hips until he pulled back.  Then Dawn pulled Natasha over and kissed her the same way, earning the same sort of happy sound.  That was what she needed.  Natasha even left the dishes to soak for a bit, something she never did.


Callia plopped herself down on the stool next to her father, staring at him until he glanced at her.  "Since I've been the victim of having to help change *so* many diapers, why do Christopher and John look different?"

Tony paused, screwdriver on the screw he needed to remove.  "In what way?" he asked casually.

She poked him on the arm until he looked at her.  "In the boy parts way, Daddy.  Christopher has no hanging parts."

"When did you help change John?" he asked.

"Many years ago before he was potty trained.  Though, he was running around naked when I went over to help with Craig and Danielle.  He's got hangy parts too.  Why doesn't Christopher have it?  Is he...."  She looked around then at him, leaning closer.  "Is he *deformed*, Daddy?" she hissed.  "I don't mind but you need to tell me these things so I can figure out what to tell others if they find out."

He hugged her.  "He's not deformed, no.  That's... that's kind of a complicated topic, Callia.  You should ask Pepper."

She huffed.  "I tried but she was talking to a reporter and nearly quit breathing like Liz does."  She stared at him.  "So why are they different if it's not a deformity?"

"That hanging skin is something that some parents have taken off and some don't," he said.  "Apparently Tara and Maria didn't and we had Christopher's done."  He had just won the not too much TMI award for that one.  He was so proud of himself.


Tony took a deep breath.  "Some people do it for religious reasons.  Some do it because it's easier to keep boys clean.  Some do it because most everyone else does.  It's one of those decisions you have to make when you have sons."

"Oh."  She considered it then shook her head.  "Wouldn't that hurt?  It hurt when I kicked Sean there by accident one time."

"Yes but they do it in the hospital before the baby comes home."

"I don't remember Chris going to surgery," she complained.

"They did it the day before he came home," Tony said, patting her on the head.  "It's really nothing you need to wonder about, Callia."

She snorted.  "I'm observant, Daddy.  Of course I wonder about those things that're odd."  She hopped down and went to talk to Pepper again.  She and Steve were in the office.  She closed the door and checked the phone then looked at them.  "Why would we make a newborn baby brother go through surgery to cut off hanging stuff that'll make him hurt a whole lot when it's done?"

"Because it's said to be a bit more healthy but the evidence is fairly odd so I had it done just in case, so it's better for him," Pepper said.  "How did you know about that?"

"No matter how much I hate diapers I still helped change some," she said dryly, staring at her.  "Including John's, Chris's, and Craig's."

"Oh," Steve said, nodding.  "Well, in the old days, every boy got it.  Now sometimes parents don't."

She looked up then at them.  "Why are you all being so nervous about it?  Is it some huge secret?"

"Because you don't need to know male anatomy that well," Pepper told her.  "Go stand in a corner."  She huffed but did that.  "Ten minutes for the sarcasm."

"Yes, Mommy Pepper."  She pouted at the corner, thinking about it.  "Is Auntie Dawn going to do that?  And did we do that to Sean?"

"You won't be finding out either of those, so stop thinking about it," Pepper quipped.  "Really."

"Fine, whatever," she complained.

"Want another ten minutes?" Steve offered.

"Nope," she said quickly, checking her watch.  Her auntie had taught her how to tell time.  So when it was up she ran off to call her aunt and ask her about that.  Or maybe Grandma if her aunt was busy.  Uncle Clint and Aunt Natasha had just gotten back that morning so she might be getting tummy rubs or something.


Joyce answered her phone.  "Summers."  She listened, leaning back in the chair.  "I have no idea why you're thinking about that subject, Callia, but stop it.  Please?"  Callia told her and she sighed.  "No, you don't need to know.  Not unless you're dating them and I doubt you're going to date either brother or John."  She rubbed her forehead, wincing.  "No, you don't need to know.  Even science has to leave some mysteries for a few years until it grew up. 

"Yes, I'm talking about all science, Callia.  Just... don't worry about that, dear.  It's not really important.  It's a choice or a religious matter.  Of course.  You have a better day too and find something else to wonder about, like why cat's hair comes in multiple shades on the same hair but the skin doesn't."  She hung up and groaned.  Maria cleared her throat.  "She was wondering why John wasn't circumcised."

"Because Tara said so."

"Not that part."

"Oh.  Well, she's a curious little girl in all meanings of the word," she quipped.  "I'm sure her parents can handle it."

"No, she said she already asked.  They put her in a corner for asking too many questions."

Maria nodded.  "We will be when Melissa or Danielle wonder too."  She got back to her paperwork.

Joyce sent Tony an email in warning.  That way he could redirect her.

Too bad everyone forgot that Tony and Pepper had taught Callia how to research things online.


JARVIS cleared his throat.  "Sir?"

"Yeah," Tony said, looking up and smiling at the person there interviewing.  "What's wrong, JARVIS?"

"I've just stopped a certain young scientist using the computers in lab 7 to research her earlier topic of wonder."

Tony thought back then moaned.  "Did they let her?"

"Jonathan found her researching it and had a slight meltdown about her being a baby and not needing to see naked adults."

"Great!  Where is she?"

"He did the wise thing and brought her to Pepper, sir."

"I'll talk with my spawn in a minute, JARVIS, thanks."

"You're most welcome, sir.  She is very curious and quite strong mentally.  She managed to get google to figure out what she meant and found not only medical sites but adults sites as well."  He hung up.

Tony winced, rubbing his forehead.  "I'm having a stroke," he muttered.  "I really am."

The reporter cleared her throat.  "Did she just start to wonder how boys and girls are different?"

Tony looked up.  "She's helped change diapers with the other kids in the family.  Including Tara's sets of kids.  Who aren't circumcised."  The reporter giggled.  "So this morning she thought that Christopher might be deformed and asked how she should answer that when asked.  We tried to divert it but apparently she's tenacious like her dog."

"My son wondered the same thing then asked if girls had the same surgery.  He found out at daycare."

Tony nodded.  "I was hoping she wouldn't find out until she was sixteen or seventeen."

"I had to make it a realistic, boring talk so he got bored with it."

"I might have to but everything is something that sparks her curiosity.  I love that about her but sometimes......"

"Three more questions then you can go have a talk with her.  The more you talk about such things in a logical, reasonable, healthy manner, the less likely she'll be to be a teen mother."

"That might help, yes."  She went over her last three questions then he got to go have a meeting with Pepper and Steve about how to stop that problem.

Pepper and Steve were letting her vent.  "And ewww!  It had a *hole* in it, Mommy Pepper!  It had an *earring* in it!  Not a pretty one but still an earring.  Like Christy's navel ring that she keeps flashing by accident.  It was really gross!"

"Good," Tony said as he walked in.  "We want it to be gross.  We want you to be so grossed out that you never touch one of them ever again, daughter.  Because you don't need to."  He shut the door.


A few hours later, Callia found her grandfather and climbed up to hug him.  "Daddy's all bent out of shape."

"Why?"  He looked down at her, taking off his glasses.  He saved his work because this looked like a long talk.  "What was he bent out of shape about?"

"I was wondering why John and Chris looked different when I helped change their diapers."

Bruce winced and nodded.  "Because some parents make the choice to do the surgery and some don't."

"That's what they said but it didn't answer *any* questions so I went looking for answers that I wanted.  I found a few good medical sites, including a medical wiki, Granpa."

"That's good.  What else did you find?"

"Gross things.  Guys who had *earrings* there on the hangy skin and some that didn't but had them in other places.  Someone had a *tattoo* there.  And they were sticking them in places that looked weird!  One even went up a butt!"

He hugged her.  "Those are adult things that you do not need to even consider thinking about until you have had adult issues for at least a year, Callia.  So put them out of your mind."

She looked at him.  "I never forget anything."

"Then push them away until you're old enough to want to kiss and cuddle boys.  Because you don't need it until then.  Though, I might Hulk up to threaten your future boyfriends."  He smiled.  "Just quit thinking about it.  Like you used to do with sheep when you got fixated on why they were fluffy."

"I remember that weekend.  It still gives me a headache."  She snuggled into his chest.  "Daddy's so pissed off he had to go to the infirmary to get calm.  Then he went to the caf and stood in the freezer for a bit.  Jonathan yelled at me," she said, sounding pouty about it.  "I wasn't even doing anything wrong, Granpa!"

"Those sites aren't meant for kids, Callia.  So you kind of were."  She pouted at him.  "Sorry but the truth.  There's an age warning on most of them."

She shrugged.  "I didn't see anything."

"Did you read around the pictures on the front page?"

"Well.... no."

"Those probably said you had to be eighteen to get into the sites."


"Not likely."  He patted her on the back.  "I'd say you're probably grounded, dear."

She stuck her bottom lip out and looked pitiful.  "I just wanted to know.  I'm supposed to learn things."

"Yes, science things, not adult things."

"Science things are adult things.  Most science stuff isn't for people my age."

He looked at her.  "Not that sort of adult.  In this meaning, adult means bedroom things."


"Then don't go looking at things like that."  She nodded sliding down.  "Go take care of your pets and do a book report on something really hard."  She nodded, going up there to do that.  He sent a text to Pepper and Tony about that.  Maybe it had stopped her before she went looking again.  He hoped.


Dawn strolled in the next morning looking happier.  She smiled at Tony and Pepper since they were in the office.  "Morning."

"Someone's perky," Tony complained.

She stared at him.  "What happened?"

"Callia decided to wonder about foreskins and went looking online," Pepper said.

"You know, there's a great thing called not letting her online for *months* on end," Dawn said dryly.  "Even supervised."

"Yes, she is grounded," Tony agreed.  "Bruce made sure of it when she went to pout at him."

Dawn shook her head but sat down to get back to work.  HR had complained the forms were incomplete so Dawn sent down copies of arrest reports from people who had wanted the kid she was carrying.  The letter of apology got sent back in pieces so she was clear there and they had really deserved it and worse.  Dumb idiots.  Callia walked past her desk and paused to hug her.  "Morning, niece."

She stared at her.  "Are you going to make your baby have the ouchy surgery?"

"Don't know yet.  We're talking about it."

"Oh."  She frowned.  "It seems like it'd hurt a lot."

"They use local anesthetic."

She grimaced.  "Still."

"That's between me and Clint, dear."

"Fine."  She went into the office.  She came out.  "On the medical wiki it talked about adult stuff like sex.  How do two girls do that?"

Dawn stared at her.  "Ask me when you're thirteen and you can actually use the information because you don't need it now and if you look it up anyway I'm *so* paddling you because it would freak your mother out to the point of her having a shrieking fit.  You are almost eight, you do not need to know anything about that part of anyone's body but your own.  And the only thing you need to know about your own is to keep it clean."  She stared her down.  "Got it?"

"Fine," she huffed.  "When do I get to know?"

"Did you see something about periods?"

"Yes.  I didn't understand it."

"When you do, you need to know.  Then we'll have that talk."

"Oh.  So do the twins need it?"

"They've gotten it and they know not to tell you."

She nodded.  "I guess I can do that."  She went back to the office.

Tony came out to hug her.  "Thank you."  He went back in there to talk to his very strange little genius daughter.


It was lunch and Callia was pouty.  Very pouty.  Her aunt was in a bad mood.  All three of her parents were in a bad mood.  Jonathan was still glaring at her and had gotten Andrew to do the same thing.  Even JARVIS was being mean to her.  She sent her Uncle Clint an email saying he was mean to have put her auntie into a bad mood by coming home.  She sent it and went to pout with her pets.  They still loved her, even when she wondered about things.


Maria Hill looked at her phone, blinking a few times.  "Someone forgot to teach her not to hit 'send to all'."  Joyce looked at her phone when she heard that and groaned.  Maria called someone.  "Check your email from your niece.  She wrote it to you, Barton."  She hung up and erased that email.

"We really need to spank her," Joyce decided.

"That might help," Maria said.  "Thankfully ours aren't geniuses."


Clint got into his phone once he had hung up, reading that email.  He held it up for Natasha, eating a bite of cereal.

Natasha grimaced.  "No, that will not do."  She got up and rinsed out her bowl before putting it in the dishwasher they had installed earlier.  Then she went to the tower.  Callia was pouting because Pepper and Dawn had caught her talking to one of the lab geeks about a show she wasn't allowed to watch so she had to put the rating code back on her tv.  Natasha solved that the simple way.  She unhooked the tv and walked it out to her father's room.

"Hey!" Callia complained.  "I need that."

"No you do not."  She took the computer as well.  Then came back for the tablets.

"I need those for science stuff and homework!"

"Perhaps if you are lucky your father will allow you to use them under supervision in the lab.  Until then, you are not allowed to touch another electronic device without supervision for six months."

"Six months?" she demanded.  "Why?"

Natasha stared down at her.  "Because you have been rude today.  You have gotten into topics that are not age appropriate.  You have gotten onto places that if found out could get your father into trouble with the legal system, including losing custody of you and him going to jail.  You have broken laws and you have broken family laws."  She tilted her head slightly.  "Were we where I grew up, you would have been paddled and put to work so that your idle mind did not have the energy to wonder.  However your father does not believe in child labor so you will be punished by not having access to anything remotely fun for the next six months without an adult approving it."

"I can't watch my movies?" she begged.

"No.  Not in the least.  Only good children get privileges and that is a privilege.  In addition, you will go talk to the legal department."

"Because I did bad things?  Are police coming?" she asked, starting to look anxious.

"You will talk to them about that and then you will present your parents a paper on all the laws you have violated recently, plus the usual punishments for both an adult doing so and a child doing so.  They will make sure that if you are in real trouble that you are shielded, this time.  That way they can also devise later punishments for anything you confess during it.  Anything you confess would be shielded but later things or things you do not confess to will not be so you can be in very bad trouble for that.  Do you understand?"  She nodded, looking down.  "Good.  Clean your room.  It is a pig stye.  Vacuum up the pet fur.  Remake your bed, then go down to legal."

"Yes, Auntie Natasha.  I'm sorry I did such bad things," she said, looking down.

"It is up to the adults around you to correct such things.  Thankfully we are strong enough to do so.  Even if your father cannot because his own father did not, the rest of us will.  Start now.  Legal closes at four."  She walked off.  She stopped in at legal herself to talk to the head there.  That way she was expecting it and knew how to prompt her and what to give her so she could write her report.  They had a few interns who could guide Callia's research as well.  That would help their careers.  Then she went up to talk to the parents.  Stark was waiting thanks to her text.  She showed him the email.

"I got a copy of that."

"She hit 'send all'," she said dryly.  "So, all her electronics are in your bedroom at the moment."

Tony smiled.  "I meant to do that last night."  Natasha smirked and outlined exactly what her punishment was.

Dawn sniffled and hugged her.  "You're so mean but so good at it."  She went back to work.

"I see I will be the mean, punishing parent for ours as well," she said dryly.  Dawn grinned at her.  She looked at Tony, Pepper, and Steve again.  "I also made her clean.  The fur on her rug was thick enough to count as shag carpeting instead of the industrial one she actually had."

"I thought Roomba was doing it," Tony admitted, looking at Steve.

Steve shook his head.  "Jonathan said that the fur clogged them up horribly the last time."

"Then yes, it's time for her to learn how to clean her room," Pepper agreed.  "I could when I was five."

"We'll work on some practical education things," Tony decided.  "After I get that report."  He went up to get her laptop and tablets to take to legal so they could see where she had gotten onto.  He got Jonathan's as well so the porn sites she had accessed could be gone over.  That was easier now that Patty was in her second trimester.  Jonathan hadn't gotten into porn in a few weeks.


Maria Hill woke up somewhere she did not expect.  She was in a chair.  A fairly comfortable chair.  She tested, no sore spots, no obvious signs of recent surgery, nothing that would indicate she had been compromised.  She checked the room, ending on the person staring at her.  "Why did you have me captured?"

"I wanted to talk to you, Agent Hill."  He stared at her.  "I believe your group has a cancer growing and we must remove it."

She stared at him.  "Then the proper procedure is to go to Director Fury and talk to him.  Not to me."

"I believe he's been infected by it as well.  He's decided to put a few people above the fate of the world."

She had a sinking feeling.  She started to pray hard at Coulson, at Alexander, hell, at Dawn herself.  "I do not believe that any decision he's made has compromised SHIELD's efficiency or effectiveness in any way, shape, or form.  I have no idea who you are, but release me now or I will make sure that agents find you."

He laughed.  "I would not advise that.  You would not want them to find your child, the one you were nursing, here.  Would you?"

"I haven't nursed.  The milk hasn't dried up yet.  It's only been eight weeks," she said dryly.  It was a lie but protecting them both.  "Some women dry up quickly and some do not."  She stared at him.  "Beyond that, if you have my child, your life expectancy is very limited."

"Awww, the love of a mother for a child," he sneered, standing up and walking over.  "If you do as we need you to do, then the child will come to no harm."

She stared at him.  "First, I never believe any kidnapers' story.  They're never fully the truth.  Second, if you had kidnaped my child, SHIELD is already looking for them.  They are implanted with trackers, both chemical and physical.  They will find my child and myself."

"The building blocks that out," he said smugly.

"Nothing blocks out some traces."

"Yes, I've been made aware of your girlfriend's *gifts*," he said with a grimace.  "Even that is now blocked."

"I doubt that."

"I can have the child's hand broken to prove it.  Pain would set it off, would it not?"

Maria looked at him coldly.  "Harm my child.  Watch me destroy this whole building."

"You are unarmed."

"Real agents don't need weapons."

He laughed.  "No, they don't.  So let us end this pissing match.  Hurting your child is no great thrill to me.  All I need you to do is take out this one cancerous being to save your beloved agency.  The one that you carried a child for."

"I did not carry my child for SHIELD.  They had nothing to do with my child."

"Really?  How did you do the implantation?"

She smirked a bit.  "Latex simulated penis."

He blinked a few times.  "They can do that?"

"Yes, they can.  It works even better than a turkey baster."

"I'll have to keep that in mind.  Will you remove that one being or not?  Do remember, it will take them some time to get in here to where you and your child are."  He pointed and a light went on.  It was Craig.

She stared at him.  "There is nothing you can do or say that will keep you from being hunted.  Even if you force me to participate, you will still be hunted and killed."

He shrugged.  "The cancer will be gone and SHIELD will once again be the way it should be."

"I doubt that."

"I would do it myself but their security system has proven a bit irritating.  I'm told that your fingerprints are coded into it."

"You were told wrong.  The only thing coded to my fingerprints is my gun safe at home."

He laughed.  "I know we're not wrong.  We had someone look at the allowed files to see if we could add one.  Your name is listed."

"It was rescinded."

"It wasn't yet.  They may have said they were going to but it has not been."  He stared at her.  "You only need to open the door."

She stared at him.  "Even if I did, you would not win.  Dawn would still be fine.  The child she carries would be fine.  The children of her sister would be fine.  She would destroy part of New York over it but they'd all be healthy and happy."

"The public would never allow it."

"They haven't said much about the many times she's had to save herself from various plots," she said dryly.  He sneered.  She stared back.  "Even if I were inclined to play along, I would not leave my son here.  I definitely don't trust you."  He laughed and handed her the baby.  Craig was sleeping.  He was breathing but he wouldn't wake up.  "Did you at least use something that was safe for infants?"

"As far as the doctor I got it from said.  Yes."

"Hmm."  She was shouting at Coulson and Xander, hoping like hell they weren't on Asgard.  She even sent a prayer at Thor and Loki.  She stared at him.  "My son goes with me."

"Fine.  All you have to do is get them past that annoying thing."

She cleared her throat.  "It still won't work."

"We'll see."  He pushed the button to release her.  "They're waiting in the garage."  He sneered.  "Sometimes you people are very predictable."  She hit him, which broke his jaw.  He glared.  "How dare you," he slurred.

She smirked.  "A real agent doesn't need weapons.  We are weapons."  She kicked him and ended up killing him.  "Especially when it matters."  She looked.  No comm earpiece.  No phone.  She concentrated.  They had to be on Asgard.  Otherwise they would've shown up here.  She tried to sneak out but he had henchmen that dragged her and her son to the van.  Her son went in the other van while she got shoved in the first one.  She was not pleased.  She was sending up longer and louder prayers.  This was not the position she wanted to be in.


Dawn felt a tickle and looked up.  "What the hell?" she muttered.  She concentrated.  Tara was meditating.  Maria was late and couldn't be found.  She felt the tickle again and found Maria, showing Tara where she was.  She came out.  "Clint, go remove Maria from the keypad.  Someone had Craig and is making her let them in here."  He ran down to do that.  Natasha was calling for backup.  "PHIL!"  He appeared, blinking at her.  "Scan Maria's location."  He did and growled.  Xander appeared, half naked and with his axe.  They shared a look and Xander got onto the elevator to wait.  She looked at him.  "I have no idea.  The guy who did it is dead."

He nodded.  "I'll gather them."  He patted her on the cheek.  "Take the kids."

"I'm not allowed to teleport," she said quietly.

"Bia!  John!" he called.  They showed up.  He told them what was going on and they took the kids and Dawn with them.  He looked at Natasha.

"You have a team waiting."

"Good.  Thank you."  He went to meet them.  He looked at them.  "We are going to secure the location that Senior Agent Hill was kidnaped to.  The main person behind it is dead.  There may be more henchmen there."  They added more ammo to their tactical vests and one got handed to him.  Phil found the address again and wrote it down for the driver.  He got a nod and they went.


Fury looked at his phone.  It was on vibrate and he thought he had felt one.  No, no message.  He put it back into his pocket and went back to the movie.  He had wanted to see it for months now.


Maria touched the button, letting the fingerprint scanner read hers.  It went red but the door opened.  She had no idea about it, she hadn't been here.  She got out of the way and went to find her son.  A few of the soldiers were guarding him so she killed one and took his weapon to kill the rest.  She had to duck one shot and it let her look inside as Alexander came off the elevator with his axe.  Tara appeared and took Craig, which let Maria fight like the pissed off mother she was.  By the time the ones out there were dead, Xander had made a mess.  She panted, looking at him.  "They had Craig," she told him.

"We were talking with Hel about someone who really needs to die," Xander told her.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  Is Craig?  Tara, is Craig okay?"

"Napping through it all," she said.

Xander tested him.  "Sedated but not unhealthy.  Take him to the ER, ladies."  They nodded.  "I'll send someone to take a statement, Maria."


"Has the building."  She sighed and nodded, taking Tara and the baby with her.  Xander walked back in there to squat down and read the mind of someone who was mostly dead.  He still had a tiny bit of blood being pumped out.  What he saw did not amuse him at all.  He and his father *really* needed to have a talk.  He called a shirt because one didn't show up at the white house without one.  He got a file sent to him by Phil.  That was proof of who had set it up.  He took it with him, landing in front of the desk in the oval office.  "Sit, Father."  His father sat back down slowly.  He looked at him.  "We really need to talk to a few people about some treason things."

"I'll summon the Vice President and a few others," Loki said, sending out that call to their guards and that it was an emergency.  People came running.  He had no idea what was going to happen but he was not having a good feeling about it.

Xander held up the file.  "Proof that the president just had someone attacked as a start to take down SHIELD.  Including kidnaping an infant and other things."  Someone took it and Xander glanced at him.  "Secret Service?"

"Yes, sir.  You're Alexander?"  He nodded.  "Who?"

"Dawn.  They were going to kill her and her child to remove the quote-cancer-unquote from SHIELD.  That was the start of a purge that would've killed most of the effective agents who get things done."

The agent read that over and nodded.  "Then it would've moved to other agencies."

"We need them gone so we're lean and able to defeat the horrible things out there," the president said firmly.  "How dare you thwart me," he sneered at Xander.

"I've thwarted a lot of things.  I've thwarted demonic plans to take over or end humanity.  I've thwarted wars.  I've thwarted plans by gods to take over humanity.  I've thwarted godly wars.  Hell, I once thwarted a war between angels and demons over the fate of humanity.  I've thwarted prophecies; I've thwarted my family having *ideas*.  Your pitiful little plan?  Wasn't shit to thwart.  Especially when you took one of my stepkids hostage."

Loki looked up then at him.  "That one's not your mate's, son."

"Phil still claims him, Dad.  That makes him my stepkid."

"Fine," he said, waving a hand.  "I had nothing to do with this."

Xander looked at him.  "I know.  I've already thwarted your plans to counter SHIELD being reorganized.  Would you mind stopping it since I really do hate to destroy people?  Phil doesn't mind but I'm tired of killing people this week instead of getting sexed up."  Loki gaped, making squeaky noises as he checked.  Xander smirked.  "A true warrior never lets the war come to him.  It means you lose people who might be allies, family, or friends.  A true warrior always goes to the war to make sure it doesn't spread," he said in Dwarven.

His father shuddered.  "That is the way of Dwarven war," Loki said.  "You learned much from them."

Xander smirked slightly.  "They did an excellent job training me and my mate, Father."  He looked at the guards.  "What do you want to do about this?"

"I want Director Fury to know," the head guard admitted.  "Then I want to call in higher ups who can make that call, sir."

Xander nodded.  "He's at the movies in someone's home movie theater.  They kidnaped his senior agent Maria Hill and her son."  Xander paused the movie on Fury and brought him there.  "The president decided you had cancer like Joyce had."

"Excuse me?" he demanded.  The folder was handed over.  He looked at the president then at Loki.  "Yours?"

"No.  I was going to take advantage of your restructuring to slide in some areas that need some guiding toward greatness."

"Pity they're gone," Xander said.  He looked at Fury.  "I'm pretty sure someone texted you at least."

"I never got one."

Xander took his phone to look at.  "You changed phones, Fury.  No one has the number."

"I sent it out today," he complained, taking it back.  He handed the folder back to the guard.  "I'm all for hanging him."

"Treason is a firing squad, Director," the Vice President said as he walked in.

"Sir," the head guard said, handing over the file.

Xander looked.  "Ares."

He smirked.  "I needed a day job."  He reappeared.  The president gasped and started to babble.  He stared at him.  "Shut up."  He read it over, nodding.

"Your consort?" one of the guards asked.

"Discord," Ares said simply.  "There's enough hell and chaos here to fund her powers for generations from a single year."  He went back to reading.  "Interesting.  The agent they captured?"

"Maria's fine and taking the baby to the ER," Xander said.  "Though I'm not real fond of you being in charge either.  Especially since I have to keep pulling things off New York."

Ares grimaced.   "The military presence right now needs to be slightly manipulated so it's ready for a later invasion or other hellhole outcome."

Xander pulled that folder to hand to him.  "In about a century or so.  I had someone ask some sentient spores."

Loki gave him an odd look.  "Spores?"

"Yes.  Back when Warren went nuts?  We found them."  He looked at Ares.

"That's what we need to prepare for," he agreed.  "Who knows?"

"It's why Fury moved Stargate under him," Xander said with a grin.

Ares looked at him.  "You do good protecting humanity, kid.  Nice job."  He handed the folder to the head guard.  "We'll step out gracefully."  He disappeared to go pack.  Since his identity had been found out, no one was going to let him lead the US.  Russia maybe but not the US.

Xander looked at the guards then at his father.  "You didn't realize?"

"He hid it specifically from me, son, and we were never in the same room," he said, grimacing and relaxing again.  "I believe this pawn is no longer worthy of my support."

"Unlike being a queen married to a rightful king, it doesn't mean you take over," Xander said with a grin.  "Sorry, Charlie."  His father glared and packed then left.  He rolled his eyes, looking at Fury.  "We have Dawn and the twins safely hidden somewhere.  John and Bia did it."

"Good," Fury said.  He looked at the other agency heads that were there.  "Well?"

The agency heads talked and nodded.  "He's to be arrested," the head of the Secret Service said.  "We'll have to talk to the Speaker of the House and the Pro Tempore President of the Senate."  Calls were made and the president was arrested.  A fast search of his office led them to finding the other folders on his plans.  One from Loki as well that made Fury pissed off but Xander shrugged and grinned.  So apparently it was already taken care of. 

The next in line for the head office showed up together looking grim.  They were briefed and it would be announced the next day after the necessary things were taken care of.  They hadn't been aware of Ares' being the VP but they were not amused.  They tried to complain at Xander, who pointed out he stayed out of politics because they all had cooties and he didn't want infected with ambitious moron cooties.  Fury laughed and nodded.  Xander dropped him off at home.  Then he went to check on Dawn and the kids.  Who were in Sean's room on Atlantis.  He looked at her.  "It wasn't even Dad."

Dawn shook her head.  "Great."

He grinned.  "Solved."


"Ares is no longer pretending to be the VP."

She shook her head with a sigh.  "Someone needs a swift kick."

"Yup.  He was thinking about changing his identity around and going to lead Russia so they're prepared for the next real alien invasion."

Dawn rubbed her forehead.  "No, please no."

Xander hugged the kids.  "Behave.  Try to rest."  He went to check on his mate, who was almost scowling.  He was back in field persona so he never had a full expression.  He looked at the agents.  "There's been a huge shakeup.  Fury's aware of it.  He changed his phone earlier."  Phil huffed.  Xander smiled and sent over what had happened privately.

Phil looked at him.  "Seriously?"


"I wondered why you were looking at some corporations.  I was hoping it was for investment purposes."

"Two are.  They're good companies that were being manipulated by the anti-Stark."  He grinned and blew a kiss.  "Let me go check on the dogs."  He left.

Phil shook his head slightly.  One of the very junior agents, barely out of training, looked at him.  "Sir, there's rumors that your marriage was forced on you?"

"If you're ever invited to a godly banquet they're planning on marrying you to a god of some sort," he said.  "Even if you aren't dating."

"I'll keep that in mind, sir."  He got back to work.  That was very weird but good advice to have.

Hera appeared, smiling at Phil.  "My son was doing what?  Zeus wants to know."

"He was pretending to be the vice president, Hera."

She sighed and rolled her eyes.  "Why?"

"He told Alexander it was so he could make sure the military was upgraded to the point of being able to handle the next alien invasion.  Apparently he had pulled Discord as his supposed wife so she could soak up some of the chaos power there."

"That might have been helpful but probably disturbing and that is against the rules we set down.  Thank you, Phil."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Are you sure you don't want more children someday soon?"

"The two new ones were just born, Hera.  I don't think we could handle it and frankly we'd have to have a long discussion about who would carry it easier."

"Good point."  She left.

"Always be polite and nice to Hera," Phil instructed.  "She is the head of the Goddess Tea Society and they are frankly very scary when they're mad."  The agents all nodded at that.  "As in they destroyed a lot of people the last time they got mad.  Including an Ori fleet."  The rookies moaned and the senior agents remembered that.  A few even crossed themselves and said prayers.

One of the strike team looked at the rookies searching the building.  "That ranks up there with never piss off the pregnant witch because there's no telling what form you'll end up in but you probably won't like being a pet."

"Dawn has moved from mice to hedgehogs at the request of Agent Barton," Phil said.

"At least we'd never be accidentally put into an experiment and if we're trapped in that form in Stark tower we probably won't be chased by Callia Stark's pets," that senior agent quipped.

"Perhaps.  Though Dawn's cat Loki might.  He's tried to track Carrot a few times and the rabbit outweighs him by about three times his weight."

The strike team agent shook his head quickly.  "No thanks.  Heard about their staring cat."

Phil smiled slightly.  "Loki does adore his family.  He even wakes them up from nightmares.  Though he does not like being kicked by the future agent.  He tends to bat at her stomach whenever the baby kicks and hiss a bit at it.  Tara's said it was the pre-birth version of the scary sheet monster game that her cat sometimes plays."

"That's why I have a dog, sir."

Phil nodded.  "We have many war dogs.  Most of them are a bit strange.  Especially the ones with wings."

"Is that a recognized breed?" one of the rookies asked.  "I saw that fight, sir."

"They bred while under the wing spell creating a mutation."

"Does Alexander let them be adopted as service or working dogs?" that rookie asked.  "I'd love to be a dog handler some year, sir."

"I'll ask him.  They can all track and hunt."  He sent that thought at Xander, who said that spare war dogs have been offered that way but not to the blind.  They had the wrong temperament for that service.  "He said that they have in the past.  I'll see if there's any presently.  We do have training for K-9 handlers."  The rookie beamed and nodded.

"Don't feed it bacon," another member of the strike team said.  "All of Alexander's war dogs fart horribly on bacon."

"Any pig.  Ares nearly declared war after they stole a ham," Phil said dryly.

"Sorry for your bedroom then, sir," the strike team agent quipped.

"They tend to sleep at Colonel Sheppard's temple.  They like his couch more."  He smirked slightly.  "Or with Bia since she cuddles."  The more senior agents all laughed.   Most of them had met Bia when she was training.  The rookies still had hero worship over her saving them from the mean obstacle course a few times.


Dawn showed up at work the next morning, looking around the admin area.  Then in the office.  No one.  It was pretty quiet.  She called.  "Are we in Malibu for safety reasons?"  She blinked.  "No, it's eight.  I should be here."  She looked at her phone.  "It says it's eight, Pepper."

"It's only eight if you're set on Chinese time," Tony complained loudly.  "Go home.  Get sexed up.  Whatever," he said then hung up.

Dawn frowned at her phone.  Then thought at Clint, who had her brought back so they could put her back into bed.  "But it's eight."

He took her phone and adjusted the time setting.  "It's on Taiwan time, Dawn."

"Why?" she asked her phone.

"Because Sean got into it," he said.  He got her stripped back down and into the bed, laying on her shoulder.  She snuggled in and smiled, letting him help her get back to sleep.  He looked at Natasha, who shook her head but was smiling.  This sort of problem they could handle.  Alien ascended showing up and bowing to her like had happened at dinner, not so amusing.


Dawn showed up the next morning, blinking hard.  She was still sleepy.  Pepper stared at her.  "You're taking the ten minutes you got last night into account?"

Dawn nodded and yawned.  "I think so."

"I'm pretty sure," Pepper said with a smile.  "Want a nap, Dawn?"

"No, I just got up."  She sat down and got to work.  She slowly nodded off, fighting it the whole way.

Tony walked past and shook his head.  "I remember you doing that.  That's when you went on maternity leave," he told Pepper.  Natasha showed up and stared at Dawn.  "Totally normal."

"She has just under two months left to go."

Pepper shrugged.  "I pretty well cat napped my way through my last trimester, Natasha."  Dawn woke up with a gasp and got back to work.  "Dawn, maybe you should take a day."

"I don't need it.  Sorry about that.  Did I miss a call?"

"No.  Your phone woke you earlier."  Tony and Pepper shared a smile.

Natasha took her wife from behind her desk.  "I will do this.  You will go nap for thirty minutes in the break room."

"But that's lunch," she complained.  "I can't work late tonight, Clint's cooking."

Tony walked out and walked her to the break room, making her sit down then pushing her over.  "Rest.  We are not that mean."  He walked off texting Clint.

Clint appeared with Xander, talking quietly to him.  Natasha looked up from typing, staring at them, one eyebrow going up.  Clint grinned.  "We're going to do some safety things.  Stark, she's going on maternity leave."

"Sure," he agreed.  "The twins coming to us?"

"Sean's jealously guarding them and the Marines are fussing over them," Natasha said dryly.  "Apparently they've never seen pretty children before."

Clint kissed her.  "I'm sure you got some of that at their age."

"Not likely."  She smiled.  "Where are we doing safety things?"

"We are doing them at my cabin," Xander said with a grin.  "No ascended on Asgard trying to make her regain her glowy ball of energy form instead of being in mortal form."  Tony groaned.  "Oh, so much.  Rodney's ranting at them and promising to destroy them all.  I'm going to help."  He grinned.  He grinned at Clint.  "Two weeks per day so three days should do it, four at the most.  While you're there, get a new deer to put up?"

"We can do that."  Xander got them what they'd need and grabbed Dawn to take with them and Phil.  Phil helped Natasha set things up and they'd let Dawn sleep for now.  Xander and Phil went back to work while the trio got comfy in the huge bed with the furs for blankets and the hugely fluffy pillows.  Clint grinned at Natasha.  "So we all get maternity leave."

She smiled back.  "Plus some deer hunting in."

He nodded.  "She'll like that."  They snuggled in around Dawn.  Her sleepiness was contagious.


Dawn walked out the next morning, handing Clint a thermos of coffee and his bow, giving him a kiss.  "Are we going hunting?"

"Only if you can stay still, which you probably can't while you're being kicked."  He stroked her stomach and grinned.  "I'll bring you back one."

She smiled.  "Fine.  Next year though....."

"We'll go back to North Dakota to get one."  She smiled and nodded, leaning against him so the baby could kick him for a bit too.  Clint needed kissed until he was dizzy.

He finally pulled back and shook his head.  "Go pounce Natasha.  Let her talk to the baby so he loves her just as much as we do."  He kissed her on the tip of the nose and hiked off into the forest around the cabin Xander had hidden.

Dawn went back inside and took off her jacket, climbing back into bed with Natasha, who shivered and pulled her closer.  Dawn nibbled on her shoulder, making her wake up with a moan.  "Clint said you got to talk to the baby all by yourself today."  She grinned.

Natasha smirked.  "I will do that when I'm properly awake."  She kissed her and let Dawn snuggle in.  Dawn was under orders not to get off until she was ready to deliver. That gave her and Clint an unfair advantage but they routinely broke that rule for Dawn.  Though, Dawn did give back as good as she got.  As she was proving now.


Dawn walked into the birthing center alone, because they were in a meeting and could not get free.  Fury even had the building shielded so she couldn't summon them.  She stared at the nurse.  "I've been having contractions for two days.  My water finally broke an hour ago.  Traffic is hell today."  The nurse smiled and took her information to find her file.  They got her checked over and into her room.  She sent a thought at her spouses again, who were blocked off.  Then she checked.  Stark was bored.  That was a good way to get Clint out of the meeting of doom.  Because Tony would have him kidnaped for her.  She summoned Tony, making him fall on his ass.  "Since mine are busy...."  She smiled.  "Be a hand holder and ice chip feeder?"

"I can do that but I am not watching you deliver this kid, Dawn.  I do not want to see that much of you."  He settled in to distract her.  "That meeting?"

"Fuck yes.  I'm going to gut Fury."

He smiled.  "Make him do this.  I'm pretty damn sure he'd let them come after a few minutes of you breaking his hand."  She winced and grabbed the bed.  "You know the breathing.  C'mon," he coached.  She shook her head.  "No?  Gas pain instead?"

"Kicking like shit.  Son, please?"  He laughed and patted her stomach through the sheet.  The baby kicked harder.  "Son!" she complained.  Tony heard the bad noise.  Dawn heard it when he stiffened.  "If that's an attack, give me a gun?"

"I do not have one on me."  She pointed.  He checked, her purse had two.  "That's nice."  He flipped open his phone, pointing his gun at the person stomping into the room with a machine gun.  "Barton, saving your wife.  Birthing center."  He hung up.  "What do you want?"

"We're to take her into custody, sir, and if we have to we're approved to use lethal force."

Dawn blinked at him.  "Tony, we're on the third floor?"

He looked.  "Fourth."

"Cool."  She removed the window and threw him out it, then put the window back.  She put her head back down.  "Ow, kid.  Please!"

"Hey, nurse?" Tony called.  She came in.  Tony tucked the gun back into the bag with a smile.  Dawn had picked this birthing center because it was private, it was very security conscious, had dealt with people who had security details before, and they were very sweet when Dawn checked.  "They're no longer bothering her.  Come check this.  The little guy won't quit."

She came over to check Dawn.  "You're making good progress."  She patted the moving stomach.  "Do you remember the rubbing that they taught you in lamaze class?" she asked Tony.

"She's my assistant.  I'm filling in while her spouse is somewhere else.  I barely got to attend one session when my own son was coming."

Dawn looked at her.  "There's two that might be showing up.  One's really nice and built.  Probably has on his sunglasses again.  The other is our wife, who is a redhead.  They both had better have at least looked at the tapes."

The nurse smiled.  "We have a doula on staff."

"I have a mom.  She's at SHIELD right now.  She doesn't want to see me in labor."  The nurse cooed.  Dawn winced and tried to curl up some.  "Son, I swear to fucking god if you don't stop it I'm going to teleport and leave you here."  The nurse laughed and helped her calm down again.  Tony was sending text messages to everyone.  Bruce sent back that the meeting had been interrupted by someone from the CIA shooting at people.  Dawn looked at him.  Tony showed her the text.

Dawn growled.  "Fuck 'em."  The nurse laughed.  Dawn pulled someone.  "Since you've managed to inconvenience me yet the fuck again, Fury, you get to hold my goddamn hand while I'm mother fucking labor!  So unless you can find my damn spouses, get to it!"

He flinched.  He wasn't used to Dawn swearing at him anymore.  "How would I know anything about this!  Not even *your* kid's going to come out with a gun in his hand."  She growled and he could feel fur starting to sprout on his back and arms.  "Stark, can't you calm her down?"

"Have you ever seen a kid being born?  Pepper doesn't have any magic yet she nearly changed me into something because I was busy when it started."  Dawn laughed then whimpered and curled up again.  "You've had worse than this.  I'm sure you have."

She looked at him.  "It feels like the kid's trying to pull my spinal cord with him, Tony!"

"That's normal," the nurse soothed.  "Sir, come hold her hand at least.  It might calm her down."

Fury gave her a dirty look.  "No!"  Someone rushed in and he shot them.  "I'll guard her instead."  The nurse glared.  "I'll find a silencer," he offered.

"Fuck this shit!" Dawn shouted.  Suddenly the room was filled with colors and the guy Fury had shot was now begging for mercy.  "I.  Am.  Busy.  Come back the fuck later to try to kill my ass!"

"Sure," he begged in a squeak.  "Please let me live!"

"Am I the fucking Merciful goddess?" she demanded.  "I'm in *labor*!  I'm in fucking pain and you're making it worse!  I get to be a bitch for another two damn weeks due to the hormones but today I am THE Bitch!"  The guy crawled to Fury and tried to hide behind him.

Fury looked down at him.  "I can't save you.  She'll get me too because her spouses aren't here.  They're off fighting with your people."  There was an explosion outside.  Fury and Stark both looked.  "Let me go handle that."  He rushed off.  He did not want to see this!  The idiot crawled after him since Fury's hole in his leg meant he couldn't run.

Tony looked at her.  "Calm down, Dawn."

"I am calm," she growled.

"You're not calm.  You sound like Garnet when she's in heat.  Calm is not growling.  Calm is smiling and laughing and hoping like hell that I don't need the suit that's halfway across town."  He called.  "Pepper, I might need the suit."  He hung up.  Dawn was trying to get up so he helped her, letting her look outside.  Suddenly, all the bad guys turned into frogs.  "Very classical, thank you, Dawn."  The look on Fury's face as he watched the frogs hopping on their former guns was priceless.  He'd have to hack their security cameras later to get a picture.

Sure, he was humoring her, but he didn't want to know what she'd do if he didn't.  Dawn had a temper, gifts to go with it, and very little self control for anything but pain at the moment.  That stopped that fight very fast and Fury could work on finding Natasha and Clint.  He helped her when another contraction hit and she had to lean on his arm.  "C'mon, bed.  Time for bed."  He got her back into it with the nurse's help.  "It's been an insane pregnancy."

"Next time I'm having a daughter.  They'll want her less," Dawn quipped.  "Because they all think girls are weak."

Tony laughed.  "I know better than that.  Half the women I know can kick my ass."  Pepper walked in and handed him the portable suit.  "Fury still running?"

"Calling it in.  They're not at the meeting," she told Dawn.  "They had to run after someone."  Dawn growled.  "I know.  I'm going to kick their asses for you because you're going to be too sore to do it yourself."

"I was taught to fight through pain," Dawn said.  "Can't I just teleport and leave the baby here?"

"No.  You might leave an important part."  Pepper settled in to help her through this while Tony got out of harm's way to handle things.  "Liz is very upset that she didn't get to stalk you yesterday like usual.  She pouted all day at Beya and Chris."  Dawn grinned.  "How far apart?"

"Six minutes," the nurse said.

"It's been two days.  It happens today one way or another," Dawn told her.

"Do you want to talk about a c-section?" the nurse asked.

"No.  Drugs I'll consent to."

"Okay."  She went to talk to the doctor.  They had medicine to help speed up the process.  Dawn consented to that and it was started in her IV.  Pepper kept her calm.  There were no more stupid people with guns but a few reporter types showed up.

Pepper was checking her watch.  It had been four hours.  "They should be done by now," she muttered.  Dawn was dozing for a few minutes.  She called and texted.  Nothing.  She sighed.  Dawn flinched and panted through the next contraction.  "Good girl, Dawn.  I'm trying to figure out where they are."

Dawn looked at her then summoned someone.  Benji yelped as he landed on his butt.  "I saw your boss in his mind.  I'd really appreciate him being here, Benji."

"I'm trying, Dawn.  They're chasing someone.  I lost track of Ethan too."  He stood up, pulling out his phone.  "Track and help them.  Dawn's in labor."  He hung up.  "Just... keep calm or whatever."  He was backing away slowly.  "I'll do my best to find him in the next few minutes."  He ran from the room blushing.

Pepper laughed.  "Labor does tend to turn strong men into scared little boys."

"That's because those sort never get that close to a vagina.  If they practiced more oral sex they wouldn't be scared of it or what comes out of it."  Pepper laughed.  Dawn hugged her.  "Can't we beam them in?"

"No and Rodney's already heard.  He's locked himself in a beam-proof room."  Dawn shrugged but pouted.  "Why didn't Joyce want to come?"

"She doesn't want to see either of us in labor.  She apparently delivered Buffy in the backseat on the way to the hospital."

"Wonderful."  Pepper used the damp cloth on Dawn's forehead.  "It's about time."  Dawn nodded one was starting and started the breathing.  It was dark before anyone gave them a progress update.  That was from the hallway and from Phil.

"We have them narrowed down to a borough."

Dawn looked at the doorway.  "You've seen it before."

"Not with you.  I can handle seeing it with Maria and Tara but not you, Dawn."  He disappeared again.

Dawn looked at Pepper.  "I'm feeling very unloved and abandoned."

"I know, but I still love you like a sister."  She hugged her.  "They'll be found or I'm going to gut them both myself."

"Then I'd have to take care of all of us," Dawn complained.

"Okay, I'll give them a few days reprieve until you and the baby are okay."

"Philip Ivar," she said quietly.

"I can do that."

"And if Clint's not here, he's a Barton or a Summers-Barton, not a Summers."

She smiled.  "We can do that too."  She sponged her head off again.  "Nurse, she's getting really warm."  She came in to check her over.  Some oxygen got started.  Dawn's contractions weren't speeding up any but she was almost fully dilated.


Clint looked up and winced.  "She was right, her being in labor is not something I can get distracted from."  He gasped and held his stomach.  "Ow, damn it."

Ethan looked at him.  "She's been looking for you all day long.  It's just now happening?"

"Yup.  I could ignore it earlier."  He felt at Natasha, who was trying hard to ignore it.  He looked at Ethan.  Then at Phil when he appeared.  "Handle this?"

"Gladly."  He sent him to the birthing center.  John was handling Natasha's while Xander was fixing the other problem.  "Agent Hunt, I'm Agent Coulson."

"How did you appear that way?"

"I'm Alexander's mate."

"Oh, so you can share skills?"

Phil smirked.  "Not exactly."  Ethan shivered.  "How many and where?"  Ethan laid out what they knew.  Phil scanned and corrected something then they moved in.  This had gone on long enough.


Dawn blinked when someone appeared.  "Natasha!"

"Dawn."  She gripped the footboard of the bed.  "Why do you not have drugs?"

"This is with drugs."

"Oh."  She came over to hold her hand, taking a kiss then putting the oxygen mask back in place.  Clint appeared and had to grab the bedrails.  "This is with drugs," Natasha told him.

"Welcome to the end stage of labor," Pepper quipped with an evil looking smirk.

"Nurse, can she please have more painkillers?" Clint asked.  "Like a lot?"  Pepper slugged him on the arm.  "They have three agents hostage."

"Excuse me for being on day three of labor," Dawn complained.  "Fuck 'em, they can be toads."

"Breathe," Pepper reminded her, glaring at the two spouses.  They settled in to help her.  They had went over the tapes at least once but Dawn wasn't all that calm.  Pepper helped and got her calmed back down.  The nurse brought in more painkillers for her.  They all sighed in relief, earning a strange look.  "Dawn can broadcast a bit," she said with a smile.  "It's great at times."

Clint nodded.  "It means she can't hide injuries from us."  Dawn glared at him.  He grinned.  "You do."  She flipped him off.  "I know.  Is that gnawing feeling normal?"  The nurse nodded.  "How long?"

"Probably a few hours."  She smiled and checked Dawn then went to make notes.  Her OB had been notified and had checked on her then went home until it was closer to time.  Thankfully they weren't all that busy today.


Tony walked in the next morning.  "We are never doing this again," Clint said, sounding hoarse.  "Ever."  Clint and Natasha were both dripping with sweat and looked worn out.  Clint could barely sit up by himself at the moment.  Labor had not been fun for them because Dawn had *shared*.  This was an only child because she had shared.

"She wanted a daughter next time because no one would want her."

"I'll have the next one instead," Clint said.  "It'll hurt less."  He looked around.  "Nursery."

"Wonderful."  He handed them food and coffee.  "Eat."  He walked off to the nursery.  He found someone familiar there.  "I did not know they let reporters stare at babies," he said, making her jump.  "Guard, she's a reporter."

"We wanted to check on Dawn's child.  He's early."

Tony stared at her.  "A few days on Asgard because of things like yesterday.  Get out of the hospital.  Do not print a single picture without their authority.  SHIELD is having fits about you people again."  She slumped and stomped off.  Tony confiscated the camera and erased all the pictures of the kids.  "Didn't even get her kid."  He handed it to the guard and looked in there.  He spotted him.  "He's a lot prettier than Christopher was.  That's weird."

"According to the papers, her spouses are model pretty," the guard said.

"Pepper used to be a model," Tony said with a small shrug.  "That one's blessed beyond that."  He moved closer, staring at him.  The baby was kicking up a fit.  He leaned in.  "Can I see my assistant's kid?  She nearly traumatized me by making me watch her in labor."

"We'd have to get parental permission, sir."

"I can do that."  He walked off to get Dawn to give it to the nurse.  Him and Pepper only with her spouses.  Everyone else was not allowed near the hospital.  Including Joyce and Bruce.  Which would make Joyce cry but it was her thing that had done it.  He went back there and got put into the sterile gown and gloves, being handed the baby.  "Okay, Philip.  Let's talk like men," he said, which made the baby calm down. 

"I know, it's a huge thing out here.  It's bright, it's shiny, it's twinkly when your cousins come near you because they are.  But you gotta calm down.  You can see mom in a few minutes.  Deal?"  The baby moaned.  "Mine did the same thing but they always seemed happy so I'm guessing that's happy zombie noises."  The nurse laughed and nodded.  "Just think, you have four cousins that are going to drive you nuts and a few honorary ones that'll never let you be put down either.  You're going to be spoiled rotten.  Especially when your grandmother apologizes for not wanting to help her daughter through labor.  Though I'm not sure why not, who knows." 

He shifted his hold on the baby.  "Better?"  The baby yawned.  "I know.  It's a hard thing being born.  Being a stud is always hard work.  Just think about all the gym time you've got coming up.  You're going to have years of workouts and self defense lessons and having your mom and stepmom and dad beating people off you like your cousins do.  So just relax, let it happen, do what you gotta do to get there, and someday you can maybe try out the suit if Chris doesn't like it.  Okay?"  The baby yawned at him again.  He grinned.  "Good, I'm glad we could agree to this.  Ready to lay down?"  The baby set up a fuss.  "Your cousin Callia did the same thing.  She would not let us put her down.  Had to have bare skin too."  He stared at him.  "Can he see mom?"

"If she's awake."  She called up there.  "Is the redhead related?"

"Her and the archer are both Dawn's spouses.  Long suffering, horny, hyper, deadly spouses."  The nurse shivered.  He grinned.  "She's going to beat them later for making her go through so much of her labor without them."  He stood up.  "Gotta be rolled?"

"For safety reasons, yes, sir."  She got the baby back into the basinet and rolled him up there with Tony following no matter how much the baby fussed at being put down.  They found them being guarded and all the windows closed.  "Is there a new threat?" the nurse asked.

"Only from reporters," Ethan said.  He smiled and waved.  "Hey, kiddo."

Clint flinched awake, yawning and scanning the room.  "Hey, you're human colored again," he said, taking the baby from the holder.  The baby yelled.  "Please don't, son.  I'm not mean to you or your moms.  Okay?  Just...we'll figure it out.  I used to talk to you."  Dawn yawned and shifted but winced.  "Wanna cuddle the Natasha mommy?"  Natasha gave him a horrified look.  He stared at her. 

She took the baby to hold and murmur at.  He liked that and tried to latch on. "Those are not bottles."  She handed him to Dawn since she was trying to wake up.

Dawn blinked.  "Hey, Philip."  He made groaning noises.  "Callia did the same thing and so did Liz."  She undid her top to nurse him.  Tony and Ethan went to look out the windows.  She blinked down there.  "Hunt, why are you here?"

"Guarding you on Fury's orders.  That way he doesn't have to see you in here again."  He grinned at her.  "There's about ten reporters outside."

"I sent one fleeing from the nursery," Tony said.  He glanced back then looked at him.  "How many are left?" he asked quietly.

"Three.  One on the roof."

Clint got up to go look.  "That's my ex, Claudia.  She's a whole different problem."

"Okay," Ethan said.  "Good to know."  He called that in.

"I feel like we should find a balcony and hold him up like they do royal babies," Dawn said dryly.  "Then maybe the reporters will leave us alone."

Tony smiled.  "I nearly did that with Callia a few times."  Dawn finished up and let him rest against her side so they could turn back around.  Natasha had a look on her face.  Tony poked her on the arm, getting glared at for it.  "If you want one of those, have one of those."  He looked at Dawn.  "Pepper's switched everything around on you.  The kids are with Grandma.  I'm going to talk to Bruce to see if she's just hospital phobic now or something.  You get out tomorrow?"  The nurse watching them nodded.  "Then we'll make sure you get home, guys."  He patted Dawn on the foot.  "Rest.  You'll need it." 

He left to spread the news.  The reporters pounced on him.  "People, quit making Dawn upset!  She's still got hormone swings.  She said she can still be a bitch for the next two weeks."  Her heard a frog and looked around.  "Did they miss one in the clean up?"  A few reporters fled.  He smiled.  "Philip Ivar Summers is very healthy.  He just had a mom snack.  Mom's exhausted from three days of labor. She's hiding the baby from all of you so go home."  They pouted.  "She's not going to let you people see the kid at all.  You know that."  They groaned but packed up and went home.  Only one stayed to catch them coming out.  Tony stared at her.  "It'll be tomorrow or the next day."  She huffed off.  He went back to the training area at the second tower.  "He's fine."

"No pictures?" Steve asked.

"He'll be home tomorrow."  Tony sat down and looked at Bruce.  "What is her issue?"

"She won't tell me.  I'm not sure but I know she said she refused to get near Buffy when she was in labor."  He shrugged.  "Is Dawn upset?"

"Yup.  She put on there that no one but me and Pepper can visit since we all basically abandoned her and made her summon help."  Bruce sighed but nodded.  Steve pouted a bit.  "She even called Fury," Tony told him.

"We were fighting the forces of evil that would've hurt the baby," Steve said.

"He'll be home tomorrow and Dawn's in a crappy, tired mood," Tony told him.  "Because she was in labor for a few days."

"She was at work the day before," Bruce said, starting to frown.

"Dawn was taught to work through pain," Steve said.  "She said it was from self defense lessons."  Tony nodded it was.   "Anything we can do?"

"Not sure yet.  I ran off the reporters.  I also fled as soon as I could because I didn't want to see her slightly naked, sweaty, and pushing out the baby."

"Not something I could've handled seeing.  Pepper's nearly made me pass out," Steve said, shifting in his seat.

"We'll handle it like always," Bruce decided.  They nodded they could do that.


Callia was out with her dog for a necessary walk while her father went to get ice cream for them.  Stepmommy Steve had wanted it so they all benefitted.

A reporter smiled at Callia.  "What do you think about the current politics of Mr. Abraham?" she asked.

Callia gave her a funny look.  "You know I'm nearly eight, right?"  She nodded with a smile.  "What makes you think I pay attention to that yet?"

"You've had some very adult viewpoints in the past and he would be impacting your aunt's relationship, as well as your father's."

"I think you have moron cooties so please get away from me before they spread."  The reporter flinched back.  "Moron cooties are very communicable and a lot of very smart people think they're the biggest threat to humanity's health ever.  Thankfully I got inoculated by this great thing called *education*.  That means I read and think about what I read.  That's why I know asking a kid who's nearly eight about politics is really fucking dumb."  The guard with her was choking.  "Now, can you please take your moron cooties somewhere else before you infect others?  Because not everyone got the same level of inoculation.  You clearly only went to second grade so your inoculation ran out a long time ago."

"Ma'am, please leave Miss Stark alone," the guard ordered.

Tony walked over with his ice cream cone and one for Steve.  "What's wrong?"

"She's trying to infect me with very communicable moron cooties, Daddy."  She smiled.  "Because she thought I might be following politics already.  I kindly told her how to get the inoculation we all got but she's maybe a bit slow because she never made it out of second grade."  She reached for the ice cream.  "Can I have some?" she asked with a grin.

"You're still grounded so hell no.  This is Steve's."  She pouted.   "And you added an extra paper to your homework for spending way too much time with your Uncle Rodney."  He smirked.  "Go do your business, dog."  He peed on a bush.  Tony looked at the reporter.  "While my daughter is rude, she's also correct.  You really needed that education inoculation booster from high school and critical thinking class."

"She asked me about Mr. Abraham's bs, Daddy."

"Huh.  If we can't pass regular laws in our own belief system, why would we be able to pass them in another's?"  She stomped off.  He smirked at her back.  "Critical thinking.  It might save humanity so I don't have to," he called after her with a smile and a wave.  The guard was moaning.  Tony smirked and went inside, handing Steve his ice cream and letting Pepper steal his.  He had gotten it in her favorite flavor anyway.  He pulled up the security footage, making Pepper choke.  He grinned.  "I have to send that to Rodney."

"Send it with a reminder not to infect her with aloof genius cooties," Pepper complained, eating her ice cream.

Tony added that and sent it to Rodney then to Dawn's phone.  She'd like that.  She loved Callia being mouthy and smartass.


Dawn blinked when her purse rang.  "That's Stark's ringtone."

Natasha looked in there and dug out her phone, getting into the email.  She stifled a snicker, letting them see Callia's latest thing.  "I agree, moron cooties are the greatest risk to humanity today."

Dawn nodded, looking down at their baby.  "You'll never have moron cooties."  Clint laughed, taking him to burp.  She yawned.  "Home?"

"Later.  Doc'll be here about dinner to let you go home," Clint said.  She nodded and yawned again, falling asleep.  He let the baby nap on him.  He'd wake up if he tried to put him down.  Natasha took the baby when he got up to go to the bathroom.  When he came back the nurse was scowling.  "We were told the doctor wasn't going to let her go until tonight."

"He's not.  Why isn't he in his basinet?"  Natasha put him down and the baby instantly woke up to scream at them for it.  Dawn moaned but Natasha grabbed the baby and Clint got Mommy back to sleep.  "Some kids do that."

"Her cousin had to be carried and have bare skin from what Stark said," Natasha said.

"I've seen a few of those."  She went to make that note.  The nursery had been wondering why the baby hadn't come back up yet.  It was because he had fussy parents.

Clint grinned at Natasha.  "You look very comfy."

"It feels a bit awkward but it's something I will get used to."  She patted the baby on the back, making him burp.  "Thank you, Philip."  She wiped off her shoulder and let him go back to his nap.


A few days later, Clint came out of the apartment with Philip on his chest in a snuggler.  Reporters were hovering so he glared at them.  "People, go away."  There were blinding flashbulbs going off and a bit of crowding in the group of reporters, because they knew not to crowd him.

"Going for a walk?" one asked, trying to take a picture of the baby.  She couldn't due to the ballcap the baby was wearing.  "When do we get pictures of him?"

"You won't.  Dawn's about ready to start looking up illusion and disguise spells, possibly even a gender reassignment spell to get him away from you guys."  He adjusted the baby's hat and looked around again.  "Go.  Away."

"You've been very hands on," another said.

"Yeah, he hates to sleep if he's not being carried.  Callia went through that too," he said dryly.  "Thankfully he doesn't need bare skin like she did.  Watch me call for backup because you're blocking the sidewalk."  They made exit corridors for him.  "Thank you!"  He walked off, taking the nearest cab to SHIELD's HQ.  When he got there, there was a sign saying simply 'we have moved to the backup location'.  Clint sighed and got another cab there.  It meant a longer commute for him and Natasha.  He walked in and shook his head.  "Why?"

"Press, Agent Barton."

"Yay.  I threatened them with arrest earlier."  The guard looked at the tiny lump he was carrying.  "He hates to sleep in his bed."  He went upstairs.  Phil was in there today with Xander doing paperwork.  He tapped and walked in.  Phil stared then smiled and took the baby from him.  "He's more picky than you are about your suits."

"He is," Phil said with a smile for the baby.  He had woken up when he had gotten moved so Phil was being glared at.  "I'm sorry I woke you but you're too adorable to hide."  The baby made sucky faces.  "I can't feed you."

Clint pulled out the bottle that had been next to the baby to hand over.  "Mom pumped.  She even made jokes by mooing."

"Most women who breast pump call it robot porn," Xander said with a grin.  He waved at the baby.  "Hi, little Phil."  The baby drank some and slowly went back to sleep.  "He good?"

"He's fine.  Did you guys get sent Callia's latest thing?"  He sent it to Xander's phone when he shook his head.  They watched it and laughed.  Clint took the baby back and put him back into the snuggler, tucking the bottle next to him.  "Okay, let me go get the stupid paperwork I got demanded to pick up, then we'll go back to help Mom nap."

"Still sore?" Phil asked.

"Still tired.  He will not sleep for anything unless he's being held so Dawn and I took turns last night on the couch with him on our chest."  Phil smiled.  "Say night, kiddo."  He put his ballcap back on him and headed upstairs.  A few agents tried to take pictures but he glared and they backed down.  Sitwell stopped him to look at the baby, handing him a card.  Clint grinned.  "Thanks, Sitwell."

"Welcome.  How's Dawn?"

"Exhausted.  He won't sleep."

Sitwell laughed.  "I'm told they do that."  Clint nodded, heading upstairs once the card was in his back pocket.  Maria smiled at him.  "He's sleeping."

"I heard."  She looked at him, moving the ball cap.  "You're cute, kid.  Don't hit on my daughters though, okay?"

"Never let it happen.  You'd be a scary in-law to have, Hill," Clint quipped, getting an evil smirk and paperwork.  "Gee, thanks."  Fury came to his door.  Clint waved the paperwork.  Fury looked at the kid.  "He's sleeping."

"He's a cute kid.  Cuter than Jonathan was."

Maria nodded.  "He is."

Clint grinned.  "It's spending time on Asgard."  He left with his paperwork before more people could coo over the kid.  On the way out he got another few cards and a few more coos.  He and Philip went to the pharmacy to get some more advil, got some vegetables from the corner store, and even got a bottle of wine because he wanted to cook something tonight.  Then they went home.  Dawn was still asleep with Natasha watching over her.  Clint and Natasha shared a smile.  Dawn was slowly getting back into perky assistant shape.


Dawn showed up for her first day of work wearing Philip.  The guards glared.  She glared back until they backed down.  "Yes, he does come with me.  That way he gets used to scientists and some day he can take over my job," she quipped.  She signed in and went upstairs.  Tony was waiting.  "They're seriously creepy today."

"They are," he agreed.  "He can go up to Beya."

"He won't let anyone put him down."

"Ah, that problem," he said with a grin.  "I remember it fondly sometimes."  He patted the baby on the back.  "It'll end sometime."

"I hope so.  It's a lot easier to snuggle when the baby's not on your chest."  She sat down at her desk, smiling at the two fruit baskets, the few vases of flowers, and the cards.  "Awww."  Natasha came up to gather them and take them home.   Dawn made a list of names so she could thank them.  She got into her voicemail, erasing the ones from reporters asking her to post pictures of the baby.  Tony was snickering.  "Sorry but no."  She finished up and checked her inbox.  It was pretty empty.  So it might be an easy day with lab rounds.  Tony let her handle it and by the time she got to lab rounds, the baby was starving so she paused to feed him in the bathroom.  Then he got changed and they went on lab rounds.  Everyone looked at him and cooed.

Andrew picked up Roomba 1 to let it scan the baby.  "That's Philip.  You watch him like you do Liz, Chris, and Caroline."  Roomba beeped so he put him down and did it with 2 and 3.  Dawn was grinning at him.  He grinned back.  "Just in case."

"Thank you, Andrew."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "We should let the babies coo at each other sometime."

"Callia usually arranges playdates between her siblings and all the other babies in the building," he quipped.

"I'll make sure she'll include him."  She looked down.  "Did you have to crap, son?  Really?"  Andrew laughed.  "Let me go change him."

"We have a changing table," Jonathan said with a point at the corner.  "Because Caroline's already learning lasers and geek weapons."  Dawn smiled and changed him there.  Jonathan blinked, looking at Andrew.

"Christopher's not built like that," he said.  "He's going to be beating girls off him for *years*."

Dawn nodded.  "We think so too.  Especially since he's so cute."  They grinned.  She tossed out the diaper and headed back to her lab rounds.

Andrew looked at Jonathan.  "Some day I'll have to talk to my daughter about bad boys of science.  That way she doesn't hit on him or Chris."

Jonathan nodded.  "If mine's a daughter we will too."

"You can find out."

Patty doesn't want to know."  He shrugged.

"Sure."  They shared a grin and got back to work.  Roombas were updating their programming to include another kid.  Andrew was still working on the diaper changing program.  He had one that would dissolve a diaper by laser blast but it might hurt the baby and he wouldn't like that.


Andrew stared at his daughter, who was thankfully napping.  "Remember, Caroline, you don't want to become a Wells-Stark or a Wells-Summers," he said quietly.  "It'll drive you nuts.  Even if they're pretty, go for a fandom geek like I am and your mom is, not a super geek like Stark or Rodney is."  MB laughed from the doorway.  "She might."

"She might but I doubt Chris or Philip will be that bad of bad boys, 'Drew."  She kissed him with a smile.  "She'll find some nice geek at college."

He looked at her.  "Do you want me to go to college?"

"No.  You're just fine the way you are and you're learning on and off.  It's not like you'll need the PhD or anything, Drew."  She cuddled him.  Caroline yawned and woke up, fussing a bit.  MB smiled at her.  "Let me cuddle Daddy then I'll cuddle you, Caro."  Caroline yawned again and fell back asleep.  They smiled at each other and went to cuddle in bed.  Jonathan and Patty were cuddling on the couch in a way that was naked and making them sweat.  They didn't need to see Jonathan practicing for a second baby.


Dawn smiled at the new interns.  "Hi, people.  Stark's running a bit late due to a meeting with the local school board over Callia's recent test results."  She looked around.  "Let's get started.  I'm Dawn, Stark and Pepper's personal assistant."  She pointed at the folders each one of them had gotten.  "In here are all the forms that you've went over so far and the building rules that were updated last week.  Familiarize yourself with them for a few minutes."  They got into them.  She looked down at Philip, who was awake but content to cuddle for now.  She smiled at the group again.  "Any questions?"

"Buddy system?" one of the male geeks said.

"New York is a fairly dangerous city if you wander into the wrong areas," she reminded them.  "I put a list of good restaurants in various categories in the back as well as a list of where all the museums are and other attractions that the other interns have liked to visit.  But there's still places you don't want to wander and most of you aren't really Bruce Lee to defend yourselves.  You don't have to pick one for all time.  Just pop up a note on the bulletin board that we have here in the building to see if anyone wants to go with you.  We do suggest it for the first month or so until you get used to New York's sprawl."

"A few of us are nearly local," one guy said with a grin.  "I finished up my last two years at NYU."

Dawn smiled.  "Then expect to get some questions."  He nodded that was fine.  "If you need to note anything about an area, a club, a restaurant not to go to, go ahead and do that on the bulletin board as well.  There's one for interns and one for the whole building's announcements.  Each department has one for department meetings and the like."  They all nodded.  "Your new Starkpads are all set up to go there automatically whenever you log in.  You can change that later." 

A few smiled at that.  "Also, we do have a cafeteria, a gym, and an infirmary if you need anything.  You guys are allowed to use all three and the caf is free for you guys.  The rest of us get a stipend and if we spend more it's on us.  You guys it's on us."  They all nodded.  She smiled.  "There's a few odd notes that aren't in any packets.  If you see a cat, call security.  They're Callia's pets."

"The same Callia Stark?" one female asked.

Dawn smiled and nodded.  "They're all very smart cats and sometimes they escape the penthouse.  Call security and they'll come get them and toss them back up there.  Especially if you see the black one?  He's named after Tony for a reason and he gets into *everything*.  Last night we found him trying to figure out diaper cream as he was kneading the tube to get more for samples.  It was already all over his fur.  Before we could catch him, he ran off to go play in the flour bag by tipping it over and rolling around in it, then he ran and hid behind all the legos again to avoid the robot giving him a bath." 

A few of the new interns laughed.  "So if you see them, call.  If you see the kids out and about alone, let us know.  Sometimes Callia takes them to introduce them to new geeks and there's one that's barely walking and one that's about to crawl.  So fair warning."  She smiled.  "Second odd note.  The Avengers usually hang out in the other tower in their special hero-only section.  Except for Dr. Banner, who does have a lab on this side, and Stark, who is pretty well everywhere at once." 

That got a few laughs.  "Just stare in awe, don't grab them.  Especially not Romanoff.  She's a bit touchy about being grabbed and tends to react by knocking you down in a way that makes you beg.  So stare in awe, say hi, treat them like normal people, which they would love.  Just don't grab them."  That got a few other nods.  "Third odd note.  There is a building-wide AI.  His name is JARVIS."  A few moaned.  She smiled.  "JARVIS is great and he's everywhere but he will not pay attention to some things and if you ask him not to, he won't.  He doesn't ever pay any attention to the bathrooms or changing areas unless someone's making pained noises or is bleeding.  Generally if you talk to him he'll answer.  This has freaked out a few of the interns in the past so we'll warn you he's like a really friendly uncle sometimes."

"I do enjoy being your uncle, Miss Dawn," JARVIS said, making Dawn grin.  "The baby could use changed."

"I noticed.  I'll do it in a second, JARVIS."

"Beya could.  She's been pouting that you don't trust her."

Dawn shrugged.  "He refuses to be put down.  She's got her hands full with Chris."

"I doubt she'd see it that way, Dawn.  She's on her way down."

"Fine.  Thanks."  She smiled at them.  "That was JARVIS."

"Why is he British?" one geek asked.

"Tony said all good butlers are British," JARVIS said dryly.

"Oh, that's interesting."  They smiled at each other.  The nanny walked in.  They all stared at her.  She was *huge* and happy seeming.

"He hates to be put down, Beya."

"I've heard.  Chris isn't such a problem that I can't handle him too, Dawn."  She carefully took the baby, who blinked at her.  "Good morning, Philip.  Let's go change you."  She walked him off talking to him.  She spotted Natasha in the hallway and smiled when she turned around to follow her.  "I'm taking him to change so Dawn can give the building tour to the new interns."

"I've changed a few of his diapers.  He does tend to pee on you."

"There's a secret to that," Beya said happily.  She got them upstairs and changed him, showing Natasha how to avoid being peed on.  Philip looked so confused but he liked her and she was cuddly too.  So it was good for him.  Especially when Chris grunted at him from next to him.  It gave Philip someone new to stare at.  Natasha let her handle it and went back to whatever she had been doing.  Beya smiled at the boys.  "Sometimes, first time parents worry about silly things."  The boys both grunted at her.  That was fine and she knew how to handle things like them needing burped.


Dawn smiled from behind her desk.  One of the new interns was coming off the elevator.  "Problems?"

"The 'we can do this for you' sheet.  It included prenups done by Legal?"

"A few of our interns and regular scientists have gotten married out of the blue.  Legal can and will gladly prepare a prenup so you don't have to worry about it.  It's a very sensible precaution when you have things like patents to protect."

"Huh.  So it's not like you're going to be fixing us up, right?"

Dawn chuckled.  "No.  We don't care as long as it's not illegal, a kid, a pet, something like that.  We might complain at vampires, but otherwise we don't care who you sleep with as long as it's healthy for you."  The intern smiled back at her.  "Also note that the infirmary can do birth control exams if you need them.  They do a lot of ours.  Though, Dr. Pigalli doesn't like to deliver babies."

"That's good to know.  We've had a lot of use for them?"

"I went there for years," Dawn said.  "It helped a lot having the infirmary on site doing most of my medical care.  That way when something happened, I was with people who knew my records by heart."

"Huh.  So if we date...."

"You have a private bedroom," Dawn reminded her.  "Make sure your roommate won't freak out if there's suddenly an extra person there for breakfast.  If you guys go out clubbing and bring someone back, remember to sign them in with security so we know in case something like a fire happens."  That got a nod.  "Take reasonable, sensible precautions because we hate to lose people to things like bringing home someone that'll stab you.  Consider us like dorm monitors in that sense.  We don't care who it is as long as you're not harmed."

"Thanks, Miss Summers."

"I'm Dawn.  Just plain old Dawn."  The intern nodded and went to tell the others.  Dawn put up a reminder that work started in the morning on the interns bulletin board and a reminder to eat something.  Then she got back to work.  She saw the alert flashing on her monitor and sighed, calling in.  "What happened?" she asked.  She got up and grabbed a few things.  "I'm heading there."  She hung up and jogged off.  She wasn't really back in full shape yet but something had set Bruce off horribly.  She found him where they had trapped him and keyed in her emergency release code for the building.  The shields let her inside then went back up.  "Hey, Stepdad?"  He turned to glare at her.  She stared back.  "Hi.  What's wrong?"

"Hulk pulverize!" he shouted.

"Okay.  Why?"  He growled.  She stared at him.  He yelled.  She kept staring at him.  "I'm not going to be scared off.  So why doesn't the Hulk tell Dawn what's wrong."

"Not Dawn," he growled.

She moved closer.  "I am so Dawn."

"Dawn pretty."

"Gee thanks," she said, smacking him on the head.  "I'm still pretty even if I do need to lose ten pounds of baby weight."  He flinched.  "I'm still Dawn so Hulk tell Dawn what's wrong.  Now!" she ordered.

"Not Dawn."

She stared at him.  She took off her jacket and tossed it over the shield then took off her guns and knives.  Hulk was staring.  "There, better?"

"Not Dawn.  Dawn pretty."

She glared and kicked him on the leg.  "It's baby weight, Stepdad.  I don't need this shit.  So either talk to me or be a little Hulk hedgehog until I'm not cranky."  Hulk took a swing at her and she ducked it but froze him. 

Hulk blinked.  "Are Dawn."

"Duh!" she said dryly.  "What the fuck is your problem?"  He flinched back.  "Now!  Hulk tell Dawn.  Now!"

He blinked at her.  "Dawn mad."

"Yeah, ya think?"  She stared at him, one foot tapping.  "Why is Hulk mad?"

"Hulk sorry?" he offered.

She sighed and looked up, unfreezing him.  He rushed at her.  Dawn moved herself, letting him slam into a shield.  He roared and came at her again.  She moved herself and summoned a dart to hit him with.  He went down and she stared at him.  "Fine, we'll do it the hard way since that's what you wanted."  She waited until he slowly shrank back.

"It'll probably be an hour," Tony said, getting into the shield to come over.  "What was his issue?"

"I don't know.  He said I'm not me."

"You look like you."  He looked at her.  "You've only got five pounds, Dawn."

"Apparently not."  She looked at him as he blinked and started to wake up.  "Want me to kick your ass now or later, Stepdad?"

"What?" he asked, looking confused.  "Why am I out here and sedated?"

"Because you went all Grr Guy," Dawn said dryly.  "Then kept insisting that I'm not me."

He blinked at her.  "I have no idea about any of that, Dawn."

She huffed.  "Whatever.  You two talk.  Clearly there's a mental blockage somewhere that I'll never understand because I'm female and not a scientist."  She gathered her things and went to visit the baby.  Beya had him sleeping on a swing.  "How?" she asked, looking awed.  Beya smiled and showed her that it had a heating pad in it to mimic body heat.  They could try that in his basinet later.  It might mean that he'd sleep in his own bed.

Tony helped Bruce up, handing him his shirt.  "You really did say she wasn't Dawn, that Dawn was pretty."

"She should've kicked my butt," Bruce said.  He put on his shirt with a wince.  "Am I becoming immune to this sedative?"

"No.  You're still partially sedated," Tony said.  "What sent you over?"

"I...  I don't remember."  He frowned.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I was in the lab?  There was an intern building tour.  Then I think lunch?  JARVIS?"

Film popped up and they saw him trying to get away from a very insistent intern.  Who screamed and fled when he changed to scare her off because she had kept touching him and pissed him off.  "Okay, so it's a trifling ho," Tony decided, walking Bruce off.  He called Joyce to let her know he was coming over.  She told him where they were and he got Bruce into a cab for her.  Then he went to deal with an intern ho.  He found her.  "Miss Stowers?" he asked.  "May I see you for a moment please?"  She walked over, smiling at him.  He walked her into the hallway.  "You just pissed off Dr. Banner in a way that made him turn into the Hulk by disrespecting his marriage.  Did you think this was appropriate for your first day at Stark International?"

"She's not one of us.  He deserves one of us as his."

Tony snorted.  "Little girl, Joyce is worth ten of you even without a PhD.   If only because she can calm him down.  You are on notice that it will not be tolerated.  We do have a strongly enforced sexual harassment policy.  This is your only warning about violating it."  He walked off.  "Go back to whatever you were doing."  She huffed off.  He rolled his eyes and told Pepper.  The incident went on file for later needs when they probably would have to fire her.


Dawn got the sealed letter from HR, frowning at it.  She opened it, staring at it.  "What?" she demanded.  She walked it in to Pepper, who read it and grimaced.  "Am I being too flirty?"

"No.  Actually you're pretty demure," she said, looking over Dawn's outfit.  "Yesterday's too."  She called the head of HR up.  She came in with the complaint, letting Pepper see it.  "Hmm.  Done by the one that harassed Banner enough that we had to sedate him to get him out of Hulk form," Pepper said.  "Dawn's not out of dress code.  She's not too flirty."

"The young woman claimed that Dawn was making her feel uncomfortable by possibly flirting with her."

"I have greatness.  I'd never touch a slut like that," Dawn said bluntly.  "For that matter we have a non-discrimination policy about the gay and bisexual members of the staff."

"We do.  She thinks you were paying undo attention to her and your outfit yesterday was a bit risque, Dawn," the head of HR said.

Dawn pulled up pictures from security.  "Banner said I didn't look like myself because I wasn't pretty," she said dryly.  "For that matter, I don't even remember looking toward her during the orientation lecture."

"No that was almost old maidish compared to some things," the head of HR said.  She wrote out the results of her investigation.  "From now on, don't go near her?" she suggested.

"I go collect lab reports."  She and Pepper shared a look.  "I guess I can ask the head of the lab to email them directly to me."

The head of HR smiled.  "She's in Chemistry."

"Hell no.  There's too many up there that forget to eat and drink," Dawn said.  "Lab 8, 10, or 33?"

"33," Pepper said after looking it up.

"She's going to run over Pertry."  She called him from the desk phone.  "Pertry, it's Summers.  We need to see you in the office for a minute please.  No, nothing huge.  Paperwork issue."  She hung up.  He came off the elevator a minute later.  Dawn looked at him then handed over the form.

He read it, grimacing.  "You looked like a slob yesterday, Dawn.  Nothing was tight, your hair was pulled back too hard it was easing the non-sleep wrinkles, and you looked like you were wearing padding underneath it."  He handed it back.

"We think it's in retaliation for having to pull her off Dr. Banner," Pepper said.  "So for right now, we'd suggest that Dawn not interact with her."

"I have three that she's going to end up nagging to eat and drink," the head of the lab said.  He shrugged.  "I'd rather lose the intern than the other three scientists because they might have ideas.  I have no idea who hired her or why."

Pepper looked her up in the system.  "It appears she was hired to be one of the outer level assistants."  She and the head of HR shared a look.  "For right now, can you keep notes on what happens whenever Dawn is in your lab?"

"Of course.  I'd expect JARVIS to tape it anyway."

"I do," JARVIS said with a sigh on the end.  "She's presently hitting on Andrew."

"Tell MB," Dawn said.

"I have.  I'm watching the most entertaining catfight ever.  Apparently Andrew has taught his wife how to hiss and scratch an attacker."

Dawn huffed, looking at them.  "Go break it up," Pepper said.  "Pertry, help her?"

"I can do that.  Thank you for letting me know I had a snake in the grass."  He walked her down there.  "Excuse me," he said quietly.

Andrew pointed at her.  "She was flirting!  I did not want her to flirt with me!  I'll be damned!  I have a great woman, I don't need a bimbo.  MB made sure I knew the difference."

Dawn smiled.  "She did.  I'm very happy that you two are so good together, 'Drew."  She hauled MB off her.  "You good?  Need medical?"

"No," she said, pushing back her hair.  "I'm filing a complaint.  She tried to touch my husband."

"Call Stark down.  He's probably got one ready.  She tried it on Banner."  She walked her over to Andrew, making sure she didn't look at the other one.  "JARVIS, make sure you've saved all this down for later viewing at the employment hearing, please," she said.

"I have," the AI said happily.  "MB, you should probably get that wrist looked at.  It looks swollen."

She looked and nodded.  "I will be, JARVIS.  Thank you."  She hugged Andrew.  Who squeezed her back.  "C'mon, we can fill it out down there."  She walked him off with Dawn following.

Pertry stared at his former lab helper.  "I don't need this stress.  Andrew and his partner Jonathan have more patents than anyone in this building but Stark.  Dawn is everywhere in this building because she handles things for us.  We don't need more people who want to get an MRS degree here.  I'm sorry but whatever job you were hired for is no more."  He walked off to talk to Stark himself.  He ran into him at the elevator.  "I fired her, Stark."

"Saves me the trouble."  He smiled and clapped him on the arm.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Is Dawn all right?  She seems out of sorts and like she's padding an injury."

"I think that's the post-baby weight she's still losing."  That got a nod.  "I'll talk with her later."  He walked over to where that young woman was crying.  "You were warned.  Pity."  He hauled her off and to the office since Pepper had said the head of HR was there waiting on her.

"She was actually hired to be Dawn's assistant," Pepper said with a smile.

"Great!" Tony said with a grin of his own.  "She's clearly not qualified for that either."  He put the young woman into a chair and walked off.  "I'll let you ladies talk, that way she can't say something against me either."

Pepper smiled coldly at the young woman.  "Apparently your mission has failed.  Let's talk about that."  The head of HR shut the door so they could have some privacy.


Dawn looked over her choices for her clothes the next day, then at her son, who was laughing at Mommy.  She rolled her eyes, picking him up.  "We need to pick something that no one will complain about, son.  What do you think?  The classic secretary look, which makes me look leggy, or the red dress that makes Mommy look like a goddess?"  She looked at him.  "No, you're right, that's too much."  She pointed.  "Blue, gray, or green tomorrow?"  The baby gurgled.  Dawn wiped off the drool.  "I know, but I have to be able to wear something tomorrow."

Artemis leaned in and stole the baby with a grin.  "Wanted cuddle time."  She ran off.

"Okay," Dawn decided, pulling out a skirt to see if she could fit into it again.  Nope.  Not yet.  She huffed and put it back.  She moved to her bigger clothes section.  She wasn't happy with her body at the moment.

Clint walked in and picked Dawn up, carrying her to the table.  "Pick out something tomorrow, Dawn."

"Then I'll be late.  Nothing fits yet."

He stared at her.  "Yes it does.  I'll prove it later."  He handed her a plate.  She stared at it then at him.  He grinned.  "You're not losing weight by cutting that many calories and I felt like cooking so eat."  She kissed him and went to eat on the couch with the girls and Philip.  He was gumming on a piece of noodle.  Clint looked at Natasha, who smiled at him.  They got their own dinners and went to eat with the girls.  Sean appeared and sat down, taking the baby to hold and cuddle.  Philip made frantic baby noises at him so Sean patted him.  "Problems?" Clint asked.

"New science wench," he said in Norse.

Dawn looked at him.  "Do I need to find the sword again?"

"Please?" he asked with a grin.  "Ronon nearly ripped her head off earlier.  She got *grabby*, Auntie Dawn.  It's not nice!"

"I know it's not."  She kissed him on the head.  Philip cooed.  She smiled and patted down his hair.  "You let Sean calm down, son.  Sean, I'm not sure if there's food or not."

"I just had lunch."  He settled in to cuddle the baby, which he adored.  He, Chris, and Philip had bonded as the only boys in the family.  They needed protection from their many sisters/cousins.

Dawn finished up and put the dishes in the dishwasher, turning it on before kissing Natasha for getting it for them.  Clint tipped his head back and got his own.  Dawn took the baby to feed.  Sean could pout but the baby was hungry.  Which made Sean blush and turn to look at the windows.  The girls giggled and hauled him upstairs to play a game with them.  She looked at her son.  "It's good that you have an older cousin who can give you advice."  He patted her breast, staring at her while he sucked.  "Yeah, it's a great thing, Philip."  He pulled off to pant then went back to drinking.  "Sure, you eat.  You need to eat or you'll be short next to Sean like I am."

"He'll have some of my height," Clint teased.

Dawn smiled.  "He'd better.  He'll be the shortest kid in the family if not."  Natasha snickered, nodding a bit.  She pulled him off to burp him and change sides, doing up the first while he chowed down on the second breast.  He slowly fell asleep.  "That's a good boy, Philip.  You have happy, nummy dreams.  Next week we have to go to Malibu for meetings.  Are you going to like Malibu?"

Natasha and Clint shared a look then at her.  "No introducing him to Spike," Natasha ordered.

Dawn smiled.  "How else is he going to know who to protect?"

Natasha slumped, shaking her head.  "Must you?"

"Yes.  All the kids are going."  She smiled.  "They're going to meet Faith, Gunn, and Connor too."  She patted the baby on the back, which woke him slightly.  He finally quit sucking and was fully asleep.  She put him into his cradle, turning on the heating blanket.  "I'm so glad Beya figured that out," she said quietly.  She cleaned herself up and did back up her nursing bra.  Then she sighed.  "I have to find something that fits for tomorrow."  She got up, taking the cradle into the bedroom.

Clint grinned at Natasha, who made shooing motions.  He went in after her, closing the door.  He pulled Dawn onto the bed, helping her out of the panties she had stripped down to so she could try on tomorrow's clothes.  He stripped himself while they kissed and slid into her body.  "See, something still fits."  She groaned but wrapped herself around him.  "I still fit and there's clothes in there that will make you look hot."

"I can't be too hot.  It might worry the other interns."

"They'll live and learn."  He slowly thrust into her, making her shiver.  He kissed her, making sure she got very happy with him.  By the time she was getting loud, Philip was awake and fussing a bit.  He looked over.  "Give me a few, Phil.  I'll change you then.  Let me make Mommy happy."  He kissed Dawn and got back to his favorite workout.  She squealed nicely for him and it was good. 

When she finally came and fell asleep, he got up and changed his son then put him back down.  He looked in the closet, pulling out something he wanted to see her in.  Then a second choice in case it was too tight.  He closed the closet doors, sliding back into bed with Dawn.  She still had a slight bump to her stomach.  Her breasts were bigger and fuller. Her chin had to lose a few pounds.  It'd all go in the next few weeks.

Well, maybe not the breasts.  He could stand that.


Dawn walked in the next morning looking good, feeling okay.  A bit heavy still but her son was enjoying it by kicking it this morning.  She looked down at him in the elevator.  "Didn't you kick there often enough before you were born, son?"  The secretary from accounting in there with her laughed.  She smiled at her.  "He did a lot of kicking."  They  dropped her off and she dropped the baby with Beya, who cooed at him.  Dawn paused to kiss Christopher on the head since he was fussy.  He smiled at her for it.  She grinned back.  "Be a good boy with Phil today, Chris."  She went down to her desk.

Pepper looked her over.  "Congratulations on getting back into that skirt.  It took me six weeks to lose the baby weight after Liz and ten after Chris."

"It's not the original one.  I got it in a bigger size."

"Still, not maternity gear," she said happily.

"True, not a single stretchy stomach panel."  Dawn grinned.  She got down to work.  She'd have sparring later with the guys but that was about usual.  Though she might wear something like a flimsy skirt over her unitard to cover her stomach.  For her break, Dawn went to the other building.  She'd be sparring directly after it so she'd get a snack now for energy.

"Dawn," one person said, smiling at her.  "You look nice today.  Still in the maternity clothes?"

Dawn gave her a pointed look.  "I have five whole pounds left to lose.  No, I'm not in maternity wear anymore, thank you."  The woman flinched back.  "Anything else?" she asked with a grin.  "Because I have to pump for Philip before sparring practice."

"No gym time?"

"I go to the gym every single Sunday," Dawn said dryly.  "I always have."  The woman pouted.  "It's why I can kick ass so very well, dear."  She walked around her, mentally fuming.  Maybe she needed a stricter diet.  So she'd forgo the milk in her low acid coffee maybe.  Clint was in there and got hers for her, handing it over.  She looked then at him.

"You've lost twenty pounds, Dawn.  Quit stressing over the last five that're showing in your cheeks."  He walked her off, glaring at the bitch that had asked her such nosy questions.  The reporter shrank back away from them.  "C'mon, Stark wanted to see if you learned anything new from the gymnastics coach at your gym."

"Not really."  She sipped her coffee and moaned.  "Thank you for the shot of irish cream."

"You needed it," he said with a smile.  He grabbed her chin and kissed her hard and fast.  "C'mon.  We'll baby you today in sparring."

She snorted.  "Since when?"  They got onto the elevator and went up.  She walked off and handed Tony her pass.  He scowled and ran it in the sensor over there.  "When did that happen?" she asked him.

"I have no idea, Dawn."  He got it unscrewed through Pepper and JARVIS.  Dawn changed and came out sipping some water.  "You're not fat," Tony said patiently.

"Bullshit.  People are asking me about it."

"It's five whole pounds," Natasha said.  "But women are evil bitches sometimes."  Dawn smiled at her for understanding.  "We'll work some of that off you today."  Dawn nodded, hopping onto the matts to stretch and get to work against her.


Dawn got summoned for a problem, finding someone taunting some kids.  She was still in sparring gear but oh well.  She walked behind the man, grabbing him by his collar.  "Stark Security, sir.  You're upsetting our field trip kids.  Thank you for coming today and have a nice day."  She shoved him out the door and walked off again, smiling at the kids.  They were staring in awe at Steve when he came down to back her up.  "It was one flashing pervert," she said.

He shrugged and grinned.  "You know I'm old fashioned and no woman should have to break a manicured nail on a pervert."

She rolled her eyes and punched him on the arm, making him wince and hold it.  "Thanks, Cap."

"Welcome."  He walked off wincing and rubbing it behind her back.  "Baby not sleeping again?" he asked casually, letting the wince go for a few minutes since she was getting them both some water.

"No, he slept just fine last night.  Why?"  She smiled at him.  "Did I hurt you?  I'm sorry, Steve."  She looked at his arm.  "I'll get you an ice pack."  She walked him off, fussing over him for a bit.

The fashion reporter lying in lurk had gotten a picture of her from the side view.  They could compare it to some of her past bikini photos for a really good photo story about her weight.  She hurried back to the office to photoshop the comparison.  Which didn't make her happy.  She was the same proportion, just a bigger chest and puffy cheeks.  She huffed and let her editor tell her how to adjust things for the best spread.  Her editor knew that Stark would sue them if they 'adjusted' the images so she helped her write a few nicer things.  Including that it was clear Dawn was a nursing mother.


Pepper had seen the article and printed it, handing it to Dawn the next morning.

Dawn read it and slumped, shaking her head.  "Fuck them all.  I'm hiding."

"Sure, you do that," she promised with a smile.  "Thor's going to show up today."

"Great, another critical guy who'll think I'm not my right weight," she complained, walking off.

Pepper smiled.  "I had the same thing, Dawn."

"You lost it all."

Pepper sent that article to Natasha so she could calm Dawn down.  She understood how women looked at their weight.

Natasha looked at her phone, shaking her head.  She sent it to Clint.  She agreed, Dawn could lose those last few pounds in her cheeks.


Clint read the article and huffed.  That was going to be ended.  He touched minds with Dawn, who was fuming.  He pointed out that most of her body was in the same shape.  It was just her cheeks and she was well on her way to losing it.  Philip was only four and a half weeks old.  No one except moron cootie carrying mother fuckers expected her to have fully lost all the baby weight by now.  Not like she was a model or a starlette.  To calm down because he enjoyed it.  Plus, even with the puffy cheeks, guys were still hitting on her hard.  She blushed but complained.  He smirked slightly and sent over a dirty thought about getting some 'exercise' later.  She blushed harder and he enjoyed doing it to her for a change.  He cut off the link when the trainers meeting started again.  They had paused because someone had run to get sick.


Dawn considered things.  She could just use a huge spell, that would burn that extra energy and bounciness she was feeling off plus take care of that last five pounds of baby weight.  Or she could work out during her lunch time.  Though skipping lunch would get her nagged by Pepper and Clint.  She sighed but there was nothing that needed a huge spell.  Where were the huge villains doing something when you wanted one?  Well, maybe one would pop up this week.  She could only hope.

That reminded her.  She had to finish dealing with that incident.  Which would probably take a whole lot of magic.  She pulled up her research to see where she had stopped.


Dawn was at lunch in the second tower when someone sat across from her.  He had brown hair, brown eyes that gazed at her longingly, and a grin that made her smile back.  "Lunch is on me if you want."

"I like lunch.  It's one of my favorite meals."  He went to get it and came back.  A few people were staring at him oddly but he didn't care.  They could ignore his scars.  He sat down with his tray and looked at her.  "So, beautiful mean one, did you finally figure it out?"

"I have the answer, it'll be a month of power raising, and a lot of fasting for me for that last week."  He grinned and dug in.  "But...."  He paused in taking a bite.  "If you don't go now, you can't go back later unless someone else super charges me.  Right now I've got a lot of magic stored since I couldn't use very much during the pregnancy."

"I can tell the others."  He ate another bite and chewed.  "Any other good news?"  She pointed at the kid staring at him.  He stared back.  "You're too pretty to be a boy.  You really are."  The baby waved a hand in the air.  "It's hard to believe I was something that innocent once."

"Me too," Dawn said.  He smirked at her.  "Do you know where the other ones are?"

"More or less.  I found people who can find them."  He dug in again.  The baby fussed until they both stared at him again then the baby grinned at him.  "He likes me?"

"I think he does.  He used to kick whenever you stalked me before, Wade."

"Huh."  He finished his burger and pulled out a pocket knife, holding it up.  "This is a knife.  They're important in your future career.  They help you get out of ropes and they can help in other things.  Including taking apart bombs and guns that're stuck."  Dawn was eating and smiling at him.  "You're too damn adorable, kid.  We have to make you a brat so you don't get called an angel.  Then again, my very own dark angel had you so that's not hard to go there."

Clint sat down, staring at the guy then at Dawn.  "I remember reading about him in a comic when I was a kid," he told Dawn.  Maybe he'd been on assignment too often when Dawn was pregnant.

She smiled and swallowed the fry she was presently eating.  "No one told you about the idiot who fired into the portal way too many times?"

"No, no one did," Clint said, looking at the other guy.

"I'll fight you for her," Wade offered with a manic grin.

"If you tried, I'd have to break you into itty bitty pieces," Dawn reminded him.  Wade moaned and stared at her.  "Really, Wade."  She patted him on the hand.  "Tease the baby.  He needs to be teased.  He hasn't been frustrated in days and frustration leads to bigger brains."

He shrugged and teased the baby with his pocket knife.  "Sure.  If I had gotten here a few years earlier you could've been my kid.  You'd already have weapons by now and all sorts of neat toys.  You'd already have a baby costume too."

"We've already got him a weapons closet started," Clint promised, looking at his wife.  "So, someone fired into a portal?"

"Six or seven times trying to rip it down.  Stupid idiot, even when we yelled at him, kept doing it.  I was yelling at him to stop it.  Stark was yelling at him to stop it.  He finally got the point when I blipped down in front of him and punched him.  By then, a portal was already opening and sucking people over.  We got three visitors and then I found out later on that he came too but we hadn't seen him during the firefight that started right afterwards with his minions."  Clint slumped, staring at her.  "No one told you any of this?" she asked with a smile.  "It was like week two of you being on that secodn assignment."

"No, no one said a word about it.  I'm going to have to see why."  She kissed him and he relaxed.  He looked at the guy that was a comic he used to really like, getting smirked back at.  "Deadpool, I'd kill you over Dawn.  Not like I'd ever find anyone else who could have telepathic sex with me."

Wade looked at her, whimpering some.  "Damn you, woman."  She laughed and grinned at him, finishing the bite of burger in her mouth before taking a drink of diet soda.  He slumped.  "If only your voice was a bit deeper like Bea Arthur's."  He pouted at her.  "You'd sound sexy that way."

"Nah, her voice being smokey from the moaning we make her do isn't that deep," Clint said.

"Dick tease," he complained.

"No, that's her job.  She's really a dick teasing sith," Clint said.

"You've figured out how to operate the Force?" he asked her.

"Magic but not fully within creation."  She smirked slightly.  "I'm amazing after all."

"You are.  You really are."  He blinked at her then at the overprotective husband sort.  "Are you sure we can't fight to see who wins her?"

"Even if you won, you'd have to fight Widow, Deadpool."

"Widow?"  He pointed behind them and Natasha sat down to join them.  "Black Widow.  I saw your comic a few times," he said with a grin.

She arched an eyebrow up at him.  "I can say the same but you cannot have our wife.  We are....possessive."

"We'd hate to kill you and spank her if you tried," Clint said.

Dawn looked at him.  "Haven't we had a talk about you not having working hands if you try that?"  She looked at Wade.  "You're damn lucky I didn't pull you in when I was in labor.  If I thought you had any idea of how to find these two I would've."

"I killed a lot of the ones coming for you," he offered with a grin.  Because that was a horrifying thought but Dawn was so hot when she was mean and evil.

She beamed.  "Thank you.  Did you get any of the ones I turned into frogs?"

"Later on.  SHIELD's security system isn't really that good."  Both agents grimaced at that mention.  "Sorry but truth."  He looked at the baby again.  "I'd offer to take you with me but I don't think the little talking boxes would like that.  I know they're not here but at home they're pretty rampant and they might not like you since you don't talk yet, kid."

"Maybe before you were talking to the ones here and now you don't need to since you're on our reality," Dawn said with a grin.

"Maybe," Wade said.  "I didn't think about that, even though it's making my brain hurt.  Can we go back to you evilly teasing me instead?"

"Sure."  She smiled and patted him on the hand.  "We'll have to do the rite near where the portal was since the building it was on got destroyed by it closing.  We'll have to clear off the area because I'll have to do half of it skyclad and the other half in armor in case it opens to another realm.  Or we'll have to include warriors to beat off anything that comes through and I'll have to do it all skyclad."  Clint was moaning and shaking his head.  "The only other option is to do it on an active hellmouth and that would come with a possible demon apocalypse."

"Not really the thing I want to think about on the way home.  I might hit the wrong realm," Wade said, considering it.  "What's skyclad?"

"She'll be behind a few sheets because she'll be naked," Natasha said.  She nibbled on her chef's salad, looking at Dawn.  "Why did we not hear about this?"

She shrugged.  "Ask Fury."

They both texted Phil.  They got back the same answer: 'because he thought it would distract you'.

Dawn smiled at Wade then at her highly overprotective spouses.  "Stark got a huge migraine because of it.  I talked with the other three after the battle and explained why I couldn't do the magic to send them back immediately.  That sorcerer tried to butt in but when he admitted he couldn't really help they sent him off sulking.  I was barely showing then and I spent a good portion throwing up afterward anyway."  Wade nodded.  "Morning sickness sucks.  You should remember that in case it happens to you, Wade."

He nodded.  "I should because it could.  Remy's in New Orleans seeing if people like his family are here.  Logan's pouting in Canada and the other one I'm not talking to is hiding somewhere here in the city demanding his slum to get more high class."

Dawn nodded.  Then shook her head.  "We'll gather them.  Like I said, it'll take about a month for me to do it.  I can't start until six days after I have my next cycle by the spell.  No idea why they put that in there but that's what it says.  Then I need to do a lot of power raising and the like."  He nodded slowly.  "So you have to get them here in just about thirty-two days.  That'll be the final day and they have to be around the portal so it can tune itself to your realm.  So they have to be here on that day and be there all day, if not a bit longer."  He nodded.  "If they're not there, they don't get to go home."

"I can tell them that."  He grinned.  "Can I take the mini me?"

"No, he's not allowed to travel without us," Dawn said.

"I can take you too.  There's a whole world out there to explore and kill people in."

She smiled.  "We did a good bit of that when the US lost its mind and decided to try to conscript me and others with skills."  She smiled at Clint.  "Remember that Dawn wanter in Brasilia?"  Clint grimaced but nodded.  "Wade took out him and his whole organization before they tried again.  And two of the Russian Mob groups that have written to me for years because I was mean and fought back."
Clint stared at her, sipping his soda.  "Quit dick teasing the poor assassin, Dawn.  It's mean."

"He told me about it afterward," she defended.

"I did, they were stalking her and only I'm allowed to do that," Wade said with a smile.  "She's kind of fun to watch run around and the nieces were very safe whenever I was stalking her around.  I took out a few who tried them too."

Clint grinned.  "Thanks, man.  We worry about her and the kids."  Wade smirked back.

Natasha shook her head quickly.  "I fear I'm about to have a headache.  Excuse me for a few minutes."  She got up and went to the bathroom.  Clint and Dawn could hear her swearing once she had made sure she was alone in there.  Then she came out looking calm and collected again before sitting back down.  "Sorry about that."

Wade grinned.  "She's made me hide in the bathroom a few times too, Black Widow.  She's really good at it.  She's like a dark angel that's come to taunt me because she's not Bea Arthur-like but she's just what a guy like me would like in a spouse."  He looked at the baby then back at her.  "Think one of the twins would like to travel and kill people?"

"No, they're both sweet, nice girls," Clint said.  "One of which has a huge crush on Thor."

"Pity."  Wade looked at Dawn, who smiled back.  "Thirty-two days?"  She nodded.  "I can do that.  Maybe you can teach the baby to squeal my name?"

"He won't talk for another eight months or so."

"We can wait and do it in eight months and thirty-two days," he quipped with a grin for her.

"If you can get them to agree," Dawn quipped back.

"It would be safer and better if we did not wait," Natasha said.  "Even if it would mean raising the power easier over the longer time.  The others might have people they miss at home."

"I'll have to see if my little teleporting buddy can help me come visit him then.  He needs more badass role models that wear spandex."  He grinned at Dawn.  "See you in thirty days."  He left, going to pout all the way to New Orleans.  He could find a deep, gravely voiced hooker down there and have her pretend to be Dawn for him.

Clint looked at Dawn.  So did Natasha.  "Why didn't you tell us?" he asked quietly.

"Because I wasn't allowed to contact either of you.  Fury said he would."  She sipped her soda.

Natasha looked at Clint.  "Gutting?"

"Too easy.  Dawn, do you have any poisons that can make him absolutely miserable enough to beg for death?"

"Of course I do, Clint.  There's three of them locked in the armory, another two in Phil's poison box, and one I've been fiddling with that may be even worse."  She smiled.  "It's like crucio in a bottle."

Clint kissed her.  "I love your sith side but you're a gray angel, not a dark one. You give out too much light and happiness to us to be dark."  She moaned and kissed him again.  He smiled.  "Let me go talk to the director."  He stood up and threw out his trash.

Natasha kissed her as well.  "No more sith side things today."  She followed Clint.

Dawn looked at the baby.  "Some day you'll grow up really neat too."  The baby cooed at her.  She smiled and let him gum on a fry.  "You'll learn to like that taste.  Your daddy likes them baked."  The baby spit around it and was happy with that.


A reporter pounced Tony when he came out that night.  "Was Dawn really dick teasing another assassin at lunch, Mr. Stark?  Are they breaking up?"

He stared at her for a minute, then shook his head.  "I have no idea what you're talking about."  The reporter showed him the pictures she had taken.  "That's one of the guys that got sucked through the portal," he said, grimacing.  He didn't like Wade Wilson.  He babbled like Dawn, killed like Natasha and Clint's kid, and wanted to woo Dawn into a life of being a mercenary in a spandex uniform.  He really didn't like that guy.  "I'm pretty sure she wasn't teasing him on purpose and no, they'd never break up.  Even if they fight they'll never fully break up.  Sorry," he said at her pout.  "But tough."  He walked around her, going to get dinner.  He'd ask Dawn tomorrow.  Or have Pepper ask her.


Nick Fury wasn't scared of many things but he had sense enough to hide sometimes.  Especially when two of his best agents were going to kill him in some meaningful, nasty way that would make press people go into fits of glee about the internal war within SHIELD.  It was so nice that he was the sort of director that could go join missions in the field.  Things would probably be deadly right about now if he was the suit and tie sort of director.  Especially if they asked Coulson or their wife for something poisonous.  Because that was one deadly wife.

They might find him in Africa on the mission he was going to join but they'd be too busy getting shot at to try to kill him.


Maria and Joyce showed up at SHIELD the next morning at the same time so they rode up together after logging in.  They came off to find a group of agents with folders staring at a closed office door.  Maria looked then opened it and went inside.  On the desk was a short note.  //He ran for not telling us that he had let Other Dimensional Superheros flirt with our wife,// was in one handwriting.  Below it was //He went to the mission in Central Africa to deal with their upstart rebels because he is rightly afraid of us retaliating for having our wife flirted with.  We will get him when he gets back.//  Maria looked up.  "Do I really have to deal with this today?" she muttered.

Coulson appeared, nodding.  "Clint and Natasha found out about Mr. Wilson yesterday when he showed up to talk to Dawn."

"Great!" she muttered.  "I'm going to poison him since there's a budget hearing next week."

"I'll retrieve him for that."  They walked out together.  "The director is off handling a mission that was looking like it might change parameters.  Agent Hill is still the second-in-command."  They handed over their files and went to gossip.  Phil took the files on that incident to City Hall.  They'd need to close off a section of a street for the spell work.  He nodded at the Mayor as he walked into his office after a short wait.  "I'm sure you were briefed when this happened."

"I was, Agent Coulson.  Why is it important?"

"To send them back home will require a spell.  Which would require restarting that portal and about four days worth of spell work.  We'll need to drape the area and make sure nothing can interrupt it."

"Why do we need to drape it?"  Phil handed over the copy of the spell Dawn had found.  He read it over.  "Why does this matter?"

Phil pointed at a word.  "That means doing the spell nude."

"Oh!"  He handed it back.  "Can't we keep them here?  It's been said your charges could use some help."  Phil came prepared for that question.  He put down copies of their comics.  He read the top one, which was on Mr. Wilson and winced.  "I remember seeing that when I was in my comic book years," he said, handing them back.  "He's here?"

"Yes.  He apparently came through during the battle. The other three are presently in hiding.  One here in the city, one in Canada, and one in New Orleans I'm told."

"So we need to do some serious magic.  Who do you have planned on watching over that area?"

"SHIELD's agents.  I'd never expect the NYPD to have that sort of patience or to be able to handle it if someone tried to stop them from being sent back in an erroneous dislike of magic."

"I can see both of those happening."  He grimaced.  "Just that one single building?"

"The surrounding area.  Where Dawn said the portal reached to was just before the center line of the street.  We'd ask to block off most of it but leave the other side open for parking as I know it's a problem in that area.  It's already been roped off due to the construction work to tear it down."

"Is that going to bother it?"

"Dawn says no.  Tara doesn't believe it should.  The portal was more leaning against the building than attached to it by what they found when they looked that night."

"That's good to know."  He considered it.  "I need to ask my head of Police."

"That would be fine, sir.  Dawn can't start the heavy magic for twenty-six days.  The end result of sending them back would be in thirty-two."

"Why so specific?"

"We're not sure why they built in to start the spell six days after her last cycle but it is and she's not going to change that without knowing why."

"Oh, charming."

"Sometimes magic takes that knowledge," he said blandly.  "I didn't want it either, sir."

"Fine.  Let me talk to him.  How do I get in contact with you or should I just call Stark?"  Phil handed over his card.  "Are there any more fights that are looking to destroy part of this city?"

"We usually don't know about them beforehand, sir.  We just handle them as they show up."  That got a grimace but a shooing motion so he left and went to talk to Stark.  He showed up and found chaos.  Scientists were evacuating.  People were staring at the tower, which had smoke coming out of a mid-floor window.  He found MB and put a hand on her shoulder, making her flinch and grab for a gun she wasn't wearing.  "Since when do you carry a sidearm?"

"Since Andrew's been getting threats?  Why are you here?  Someone set PR on fire."

He took Caroline from her, which calmed her down.  "I came to see Stark and talk to my namesake actually.  I just found this."

"Oh.  Well...."  She looked around.

"What threats and why haven't we heard about this yet?"

"Director Fury assigned it to some agent.  Stark said he's been nagging."

"He has," Tony said as he walked over.  "Hey, Caroline."  He took her from Coulson.  "He assigned it to a new agent.  Apparently the threats from two overseas wannabe Stark's aren't that important even though Andrew and Jonathan have created some stuff even *I* think should be science fiction."

"I'll look into that.  Do you have the report form or anything?"

"I have the full file," Tony said bluntly.  "It's in my office safe."  Phil smiled slightly.  "And if you're looking for your namesake, he's at the pediatrician for the next hour.  It's time for shots."

"Wonderful."  He looked around.  "Someone set PR on fire?"  Tony grimaced but nodded.  Caroline was patting Tony's beard looking very confused.  "Why don't we move all the scientists into the ballroom?" he suggested.  "That gets them out of the way."

Tony whistled.  "People, Pepper's going to open the ballroom.  It's on the sixth floor of the new tower."  They started to walk that way talking about things.  Caroline got taken back by MB, who smiled at them.  "Find your spouses so they can talk to Coulson."

"I only have one husband," she said dryly.

"Yeah but you guys might as well be a quad at times.  Even if you aren't enjoying the other half."  She blushed and ducked her head but grinned back at him.  He looked around then at Pepper when she came back.  "Did you see Bruce?"

"No.  Why?"

"I was thinking he might want to try to help Joyce mend some shit she started."

Phil winced.  "I heard.  I have no idea why she'd avoid Dawn in labor.  Though I remember she did the same thing to Buffy.  She was there when Sean was born but in the waiting room."

Tony shook his head.  "I'd never do that to my kids.  I probably would've stayed with Dawn if she couldn't have found her spouses.  Though, I heard she told Wilson she nearly called him if she couldn't find them.  I think that might've been a bit wrong."  He walked off.

"Probably," Phil agreed, looking at Pepper.  "Who set PR on fire?"

"The new secretary had a fit because her wife was sleeping with her new boss.  The lab is once again a soap opera."  Phil smiled at her.  "I need a vacation."

"The kids might like Guatemala."

"No, I need a vacation without any Starks.  Tony's been driving me nuts.  Callia's pouting about being grounded for so long because we won't let her watch movies or do anything but homework.  Liz is cranky right now because she's cutting teeth and Chris is scowling at everyone because he's having a bad incarnation apparently," she finished bitterly.  "My kids hate me.  They like Beya more than me and they hate Dawn just as much.  The only thing that makes Chris behave is Philip gumming on him and then he fusses at that treatment because apparently he's feeling a bit inadequate next to him."

"I'll see what I can find from Chris, Pepper.  Take a day at the spa?"

"I can't.  The company will go through hell."  Dawn got out of a cab with Philip in his carseat.  "The new secretary in PR found her wife cheating."

"The background check found that.  Who didn't read it?" she asked.  Pepper stared at her.  Dawn got into the files from HR to show her.  "The background check had a 'please don't hire her due to emotional disturbance' rating too."

Phil took the baby, letting him fuss at him.  "I know, it's interrupting your nap and eating schedule.  You can eat in a few minutes.  All right?"  He settled down.  Dawn hugged him.  "Needing a nap?"

"He wouldn't sleep last night.  Not even for Mommy Natasha.  Not even for food."  She took her tablet back when Pepper started to throw it.  "Hey!"

"Sorry!  Who is ignoring those things?"

"I'd hate to say it but some carrier of the moron cooties?" Dawn offered with a grin.

"Probably, yes.  Maybe even Patient Zero of that epidemic."

"No, I think he's on FOX News," Dawn said with a point at the news vans.  "Probably on a talk show.  Either that or he's on the radio ranting at everyone who's not a fat, drug addicted slob who can't keep a wife because he's a jackass."

Pepper cracked and smiled.  "You could be right."

"It could be multiple strains that have merged in a few people and mutated," Phil said dryly.  They smiled at him.

"Is there an epidemic going on?" a reporter demanded, running over.  "Was it a virology lab?"

Dawn pulled up the moron cooties talk Callia had with a reporter and showed her.  "No, it's a different sort of infection."

The reporter laughed.  "That's so cute!  Rude but cute!"

"Tony said she doesn't have to be nice to reporters that ambush her," Pepper said.

"Awww.  So you're talking about that infection?"  Dawn nodded.  "Oh, well.  Where is the fire?"

"PR," Dawn said.

"Oh, never mind.  We'll get statements from them sometime soon anyway."  She went to tell the others.

"Isn't virology only in Malibu?" Phil asked Pepper, who nodded.  "Huh."  He walked off.  "Let me find Chris to check on him for you, Pepper.  Then I'll get the files on the threats to Andrew and Jonathan."

"Excuse me?  They're *WHAT*?" Dawn demanded.  Philip flinched awake and squealed at Mommy.  "They're threatening my geeks why?"

Phil looked back at her.  "Please calm down, Dawn."

"Oh fucking hell no!  If someone's threatening my friends I'm going to deal with them.  Some minion at SHIELD won't need to wrinkle his suit writing reports!"  She walked off.  "C'mon, baby.  Let's go destroy some idiots.  You'll like destroying idiots.  It makes Mommy happy.  We can even have ice cream afterwards so you can taste it later when it goes into my milk ducts."

"They do say that your diet can affect the taste and smells of various bodily fluids," Pepper said.  "I'm not sure if ice cream is one or not."

"Probably not," Phil said.  He wanted to follow Dawn.  He really probably should follow Dawn.  He could check on Chris later since someone had just screamed in fear and outrage.  He followed to see who it was.  The woman in there was sobbing and trying to get away from Dawn.

"Did you really think trying to grab my son was a *good* idea?  Even if I wasn't pissed the fuck off, it probably would've gotten you dead, bitch.  Now, who the fuck are you with and why did you just try to kidnap my son?"  Phil walked over to handcuff her and frisk her.  "Which agency?"

"The one we're merging with," he said, showing it to her.

"Huh.  Greatness."  She smiled.  "I'll set your bosses on fire later.  Okay?  Right now I have to handle something."  She walked off talking to Philip about how to avoid stupid people.  She got to the ballroom.  No Andrew, Patty, or Jonathan.  Only a very worried MB and her daughter.  She stared at her.  "Who?"  She hissed in her ear.  "Beya?"  She looked over.  "Here, watch him.  I have to handle something."  She nodded, taking Philip from her.  "Just changed.  Fed at the office.  Bottle in the diaper bag.  Shouldn't take me that long."  She went upstairs to her locker.  Steve was frowning when she walked in.  "Sit, stay, good Captain."

"Excuse me?" he asked, starting to follow her.  "What's going on, Dawn?  Beyond the fire?  You look really upset.  Is Philip all right?  I know he had a baby doctor appointment."

"Yup, he's fine.  Andrew's missing.  Jonathan and Patty are missing."  She came out in her battle uniform, pulling on her necklace with weapons.  She checked it and changed it for the one in Natasha's locker.  Then she decided to pull out her two hidden ones and fill them from the closet full of stuff she had concealed in there.

"Why are you hiding weapons?" Steve asked.  He'd ask about other things but he was trying really hard to get hold of her spouses to stop her.  Dawn plus weapons plus a battle outfit was usually a Very Bad Thing.   Neither Clint nor Natasha were answering though.

She smiled.  "Because sometimes Tony pouts."  She closed all the little doors and put the necklace on then smiled and disappeared.  She had markers on Andrew and Jonathan.  They'd be wherever Patty was.

"JARVIS, was that Natasha pretending to be Dawn?" Steve asked, hoping for a positive answer.

"I'm afraid it was Dawn by her biometric rhythms, Captain."

"Tell Stark?"

"I've already alerted him that she was having a 'hell no' day as it's usually called.  I've told him she's disappeared with a great number of weapons as well.  He is not pleased.  Neither is Agent Coulson."

"Great, Phil can help us handle it," Steve decided, getting into his costume.  Tony came off the elevator.  "Any idea where she is?"

"Her tracker's browned out again," he complained.  "Has been for two weeks.  Barton and Romanoff are both out of touch today with trainees.  JARVIS, scan the news to see where she's blowing up?" he asked sarcastically.

"I believe she's in Europe and it's not a happy time but she's just called in SHIELD Europe for backup, sir.  Apparently they wanted the boys to finish off their laser guided missile system.  Dawn reported that they needed medical backup because Patty is in labor and the system is presently partially active.  The fire raging in the other buildings in the compound are not happy but they're not near the chemical or weapons storage areas.  Or where the missiles are.  SHIELD Europe is not pleased at all."

"Going," Phil said.  He sent himself there and shot a few people trying for Dawn.  "Dawn, a word please?"

"Fuck no!  They touched people who're like my family.  I'm doing what my big brother would do if they touched his pack."  She glanced back.  "Behind you."  She threw a grenade at someone.  They turned into meaty chunks fit for the guard dogs' dinner.  Finally, jets and helicopters were landing.  Dawn and Phil sent over where things were and they got Patty out of there first with Jonathan and Andrew.  She followed when Phil glared at her.  She smiled.  "Stark Security."  She got onto the helicopter with them.  "Okay, Patty.  How far apart are they?  Has your water broken?"

"No," she panted.  "About ten minutes apart."

"Then you have *hours* yet," Dawn said with a pat and a slight smile.  "I had two days of those."  Patty whined.  "They have stuff to speed it up."  Jonathan nodded, clutching her.  Dawn looked back.  "She's in labor.  Can we go now?"  The pilot nodded and took off.  "Thank you."  She looked at Andrew.  "You okay?"

"MB and Caroline?" he asked, staring at his hands.

"With everyone else at Stark that's being sheltered thanks to a fire in PR."

"Is that what the alarm was?" Jonathan asked.  Dawn nodded.  "Why?"

"They're having a Springer moment."

"Oh, great," Andrew said, looking up at her.  "You look like your wife in that."

Dawn smiled.  "Thanks.  I'm going to let you guys have a patch of it to see if you can make bras out of it."

"They might keep you perky," Jonathan agreed.  Dawn led Patty through the breathing until they landed.  Then she got separated.  "No, we need Dawn!" Jonathan ordered.  "She's our helper!"  Dawn followed, moving around a few doctors to get to him.  "Dawn, I can't do this alone."

"You won't be.  Andrew's going to be helping once he gets a few stitches."  Jonathan relaxed.  Andrew did come skidding around a corner with bandages.  "Sit, 'Drew.  I'll do them if I have to."  He nodded, helping by pulling Jonathan off Patty.  "Sit, Johno, good daddy."  He laughed but sat and held Patty's hand for now.  A huffy man stomped her way.  "Which language do you speak?" she asked in German.

"I speak excellent English," he said dryly.

"Good."  She smiled.  "I'm with Stark International.  These are our two missing geeks and one geek's wife that's in labor.  She's due last week anyway.  Can I get a stitching pack to do Andrew's arm?"

"He escaped his cubicle."

"They're like brothers.  Beyond that, I wouldn't leave them alone in an unfamiliar place either.  They can do it in here and do the debriefing if they must in here."

"That's fine.  I'll allow an agent into the room once she's in one.  We do have a few private rooms."

Dawn smiled.  "Thank you for cooperating."  She looked at Andrew.  "Anything broken?"

"Just my temper and my mind," he complained.  She hugged him.  He rested against her shoulder.  "I nearly went evil, Dawn," he said quietly.

"Good!  That's the only allowable time, unless they're attacking you guys."  He looked up at her.  "Really, it is.  It's when I go evil too."

He nodded, swallowing hard.  "I didn't mean to hurt them that way.  Not with magic or anything."

"You use what you've got at the time," she reminded him.  "Not everyone is a trained weapon like Natasha is."  He nodded.  She frowned, looking up.  "Phil's in trouble."

"Go," he said, letting her go free.  "Before he has to go evil and it brings Xander with his axe."

Dawn looked at the staring doctor.  She put something on Patty's foot.  "I'll find her in a few minutes."  She opened one of the necklaces and pulled out a few guns, then smiled and disappeared.  She tossed one at Phil and fired on the rest of them.

"Dawn, they're agents," she said.

"Yes, but they're not with SHIELD, Phil."

"Good point.  Leave them living."

"I am!"  She frowned as she felt someone coming up behind her, turning and kicking him back.  "Who the fuck are you?"  He had blood dripping down his head from a good sized gash.  He was tallish, brown haired; a standard looking white guy wearing an overcoat and gloves.

"Who are you?" he countered.

"I'm Dawn.  I'm with Stark.  These idiots had stolen a few of our geeks.  Who the fuck are you?  The next time I ask I'm going to ask with a higher powered weapon."

He laughed.  "You're adorable, ducks."  She nearly slit his throat for that.

Phil looked then blinked a few times.  "Dawn, off him.  Barnes, leave Summers alone!"  They separated.  "Stand down, Barnes."

"How do you know me?" he demanded.

"I'm Agent Phil Coulson with SHIELD.  I'm over the Avengers well-being.  Your picture's hanging in Captain Rogers room."

"That's Bucky?" Dawn asked with a point.

Phil nodded.  "If not it's his son."

"No, I know Steve," Bucky said.  He looked at Dawn.  "You're not nice."

She snorted.  "Please!  Real women aren't nice when we're attacked.  We don't scream, turn an ankle, run from the monster, or sob on demand when things get hard.  Some of us pick up guns, some of us call a lawyer, but all of us are tougher than this shit."

"Hands up!" someone demanded in German.

Dawn looked at him.  "Excuse you, talking to the real SHIELD agent here," she said in German with a point at Phil.  "Identify yourself or be a pet."  He glared and shifted his grip on his gun.  Dawn snapped and he turned into a cuddly little poodle.  She stared down at him.  "It never hurts to identify your agency, idiot.  That way people know you're supposed to be handling things."  She walked over him and went to look at the other agents.  Phil and Bucky followed, Bucky  looking very lost and confused.  He knew a Stark once.  She was employed by Howard?  Howard didn't really appreciate mouthy, strong, mean women the last he knew.

"People!" she said to stop the fighting.  They all stared at her.  "Hi, Stark Security.  I came after our geeks.  They said they were taken to build the guidance part of that missile system, which he said is partially active.  I don't know how to disarm it.  That's why I called SHIELD Europe."  A few slumped.  "Can you maybe take care of that and their sloppy chemical filing dump across the courtyard?  Then maybe get the three out of the weapons lockers?  Or should I do that for you?"

"You're a girl," one of the SHIELD agents said.

"Well, duh!  It's good your eyesight is good enough to notice I have breasts.  How smart you are," she said dryly.  "Did you pass high school with those smarts?"  He blushed and ducked his head.  "Want me to handle it?  Fine."  She walked off.  She walked over to the weapons locker and knocked.  "Get your ass out of there!" she ordered at the top of her lungs.  "Before I come in there and plant a bomb up someone's asshole!"  A few ran out.  Dawn let Phil handle them.  She walked in there.  "I warned you!" she yelled.  The rest ran.  Dawn walked out with the bomb, looking at it.  "Phil, I've never seen the manual on this one at Xander's."

He looked and disarmed it.  "Only one?"

"No, I can sense a huge blinky box under the chemicals."

Phil let the agents handle the leftover idiots while he went to look.  He came out.  "We have ten minutes to clear this site, people.  We have a doomsday device under the chemical storage area."

"Who're you?" one of the lesser agents demanded.  These Americans kept taking over and it was pissing them all off.

"Agent Coulson, SHIELD US.  I'm the Agent-in-Charge of the Avengers Initiative, and therefore over our adjunct members like Miss Summers."  The agent gaped then whimpered and reported that.  They left, taking the missile system with them and alerting the local fire departments to come handle the chemical explosion that was going to start soon.

Dawn looked at the guy trying to sneak off.  "Phil, going to Patty.  She's in labor.  Taking him with me."

"Go home, Dawn."

"Patty's in labor, Phil.  No can do."  She looked at him.  "You don't need to pack, right?"  She grabbed his arm and took him with her.  "Okay," she said, smiling at Patty.  Jonathan and Andrew were in cuffs.  She snapped and undid them then leashed the agents against the wall, facing it, and begging for mercy.  "Better."  She smiled at Patty.  "You okay?"  She nodded, biting her lip.  "You know what, we'll do this the Stark way."  She tapped into her phone.  "JARVIS, it's me.  I have Patty in labor, Andrew and Jonathan banged up, and an extra guest I can get if you can't get us.  We need beamed out now.  The local agents are being idiots.  They can talk to Phil."

"I can get all of you but the guest, Dawn."

"Then leave me and I'll bring him."

"I can...." Bucky started.  Everyone disappeared.  "How did you do that?" he demanded.

She smiled.  "Stark is full of geeks."  She took him, landing in the Avengers only area.  She cleared her throat.  "Steve?"  He came out of the changing area.  He paused in mid-step, staring at their guest, mouth slightly open and eyes wide.  "I believe Phil identified him as yours."  She gave him a nudge forward.  "Patty's in labor."  She walked off.  A nice jacket went over her outfit since she didn't have time to change or the energy for an illusion.  She fluffed out her hair as she walked over the walkway.  She went into the infirmary.  "No injuries, Doc."

"Good!" Dr. Pigalli said.  "Who was treating them?"

"Bosnian people I think.  If I was right about the area by the locals' talking."

"Okay," she decided.  "Why?"

"They wanted them to finish a laser system."

She said something rude in a language only a few geeks knew.  Dawn grinned.  Dr. Pigalli glared at her.  "What are you wearing?"

Dawn looked at herself then at the doctor.  "If I had grabbed my chainmail, they would've run too fast."  She shrugged and came over.  "Hey, Patty.  The drugs nice?"

"They're real nice," she said with a grin.  "I'm going to the same birthing center you went to."

"They were great.  The nurses hovered some. They didn't even tell me to quit swearing when I did a lot of it at my missing spouses.  If I have more, they're going to be born there too."

"Cool."  She smiled at Jonathan.  "We can go soon, right?"

"Happy's taking you," Dr. Pigalli said.  "Do you want Dawn to go with you?"

"No.  My baby may come out wanting to date Philip.  That might not work."  Dawn cackled, giving her a hug.  "Can we bring MB and Caro?"

"I've got a diaper bag packed for her," Pepper said as she walked in with it and MB, plus the baby.  "Here you go, and your packed bag, Patty."  Patty grinned.  "Happy's right here."  Happy came in to help her down to the car.  The boys followed with MB behind them.  She looked at Dawn.  "You look good in that."

"I'm hoping someone can take this material and smooth it out some to make bras."

"Yeah, the kinetic and armor properties might keep you perky and not wear out," Pepper said.  "I'd change before Tony spots you."

"I would've but Patty needed me and I brought a friend of Steve's home."  She went back up there to change.  She ran into Bruce.  "Hey, Stepdad.  Is Mom over whatever funky mental problem she has yet?"

"No, not yet.  I have no idea what's going on with her, Dawn.  She doesn't even want to babysit."

Dawn looked at him.  "Fine.  I was going to ask her because we were going to get a weekend free but that's fine."  He winced.  "Just... fix her mental issues one way or another, okay?  Fuck it out of her, whatever.  I want my mother back."  She went into the training room and around the yelling people to change and hide the weapons again.

"Dawn!" Steve shouted.

"Getting naked and you're not married to me," she quipped.  "Talk to your best friend there, Steve."

"Dawn," he said less calmly.

She came out in her skirt and bra, which made Steve blush.  "I told you I was getting naked.  It can't wait for ten minutes?"

"It never takes you ten minutes to get ready," he said, glaring at her.  "What was that?"

"That was people had Andrew and Jonathan hostage to have them build them shit and Patty was in labor with them."  She went back to put on her shirt and came out putting her hair up.  Once she had the last bobby pin in place she looked at him.  "Beyond that, it's what we who're trained by Xander do when our packs are threatened."  She smiled sweetly.  "Patty's where I gave birth, the other three and the baby are with her.  Phil was handling the last minute things there since he found a doomsday device.  SHIELD Europe is full of whiny babymen who had to keep a chain of command even during a battle."  Steve winced.  "And the other agents who showed up refused to say who they were so one's a poodle."  She walked off.  "Going to get my son back from Beya so we can do a building check together.  By now he's got to be fussy and hungry."

Steve stared after her, his mouth slightly open.  "This is why women confuse me," he told Bucky.

"She's not like most of the women I know either," he said, rubbing his throat.  Steve moved his hand to look at the cut.  "She did it."

"She can do that.  We spar once a week.  Her, me, Clint, Natasha."

"Natasha?  I knew an agent by that name once."

"Did she go by Black Widow?" Steve asked dryly.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"She's Dawn's wife."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "That explains a lot."

"Hawkeye is their husband."

"Huh," he said, considering that.  "She's one pampered little warrior."

"They try really hard."

Someone walked in.  "Why didn't Dawn ask?  I would've went with her."

Steve stared at him.  "Who are you?"  This was getting really ridiculous.  Steve just needed a few moments to process that Bucky was actually alive and all that.  Did more people have to show up with problems?

Clint strolled in.  "She's grabbing the baby to do a building check, Wade.  For that matter, she didn't tell *us* and she knows she's supposed to.  So back down, go pout.  Natasha probably will be."  He stared.  "Well, fuck," he said.  "I'm not fighting you over Natasha, Bucky.  I'm going to kill your ass outright if you touch my wives."

Wade blinked a few times.  "You're too close for your bow," he said with a grin.  Clint unsnapped his gun and Wade laughed.  Dawn walked in and kissed him, making Clint moan.  "Wow," he said, pulling back.  She kissed Clint, who clutched her against his body.  "He still gets better than me?"

She looked at him.  "You only got one because you took out the three agents trying to get our son."  He grinned at that.  "Aren't you supposed to be finding people?"

"I called."

"Oh, cool."  She walked off happier.  "Barnes, touch my wife and I'm going to castrate you with a rusty spoon and fuck with your mind until you think you enjoy it and beg me to do it again."  She slammed the door on her way out.

"Wow," Wade said, grinning after her.  "Are you sure I can't bring her home with me, Barton?"  Clint growled and Wade wisely decided to retreat for a bit.  He didn't want to know if his healing factor worked here or not.  He ran into Natasha.  "Your wife's growling possessively."  He fled because she was growling now too.  He was a bit scared of Natasha.  She was mean in that bad way even if she was sexy when she did it.

Natasha walked in and paused then smiled.  "Barnes."

"Natasha."  He stared at her.  "You look good.  Very good."

She smiled.  "As do you."

"Hell.  No," Clint said simply, walking Natasha off.  She huffed.  "Sorry, have to talk to her for now.  You two catch up."  He slammed the door and pushed her against it to kiss her.  "Mine, all mine."

"I am yours and Dawn's," she said between kisses.  "People can see us."

"Good," he growled, taking another one.  "Excellent in fact.  I'm going to claim you like I have Dawn."

She whimpered.  "We should do that again."

"We will this weekend."

"Joyce won't babysit."

"We'll figure it out."  He kissed her neck, making her tip her head back some.  "I don't care how exciting he was, I'm better."

"You're as good as he was and Dawn is better," she teased.  He bit her throat and she gasped.  "Clint!"  He growled in her ear but his hands were trying to get inside her uniform.  "We are not doing this here."  He found that spot behind her ear that turned her mind to mush.  "There are rooms," she noted.  "We can use one."

Pepper walked past them blushing.  "Guys, those walls are see through."

"Good," Clint said against Natasha's throat.  "Her super stud ex just got found.  No way in hell."

Pepper got them out of the way so she could open the door and walked in, smiling at Steve.  "Wow."

"Are they okay?"

"Clint's trying to talk his way into claiming her there on the walkway.  Tony will break them up."  She walked over, smiling.  "Pepper Potts."

"Bucky Barnes, Miss Potts."  He shook her hand.  "This is very weird."

"Weird things are usually SHIELD's problem but now and then we here at Stark do handle them thanks to the head geek," she said with a smile.  Tony walked in laughing.  "Did you convince them to move?"

"No, she just knocked him down and ripped his t-shirt on him."  He rolled his eyes.  "I don't know why."

"We used to date, slightly," Bucky said.

Tony stared.  He had seen a few pictures of that guy.  "Barnes."

"You have to be Stark's kid."

"I am."  He shook his hand.  "We'll talk later.  Steve, why don't you put him in one of the quiet rooms over here so the kids don't annoy him to death."

"You have kids?" he asked Steve, smiling slightly.  "I've got to meet your wife."

Steve coughed and pointed.  "Tony's the wife."

"You're the wife," Tony corrected with a grin.  "Your father-in-law only likes you out of the three of us."  He walked around them, opening a closet that was magically hidden. "She got most of it out of here finally.  I'll have them get into her necklaces to see what else she has stored this time."  He closed the door and opened another one.  "Quiet bedroom.  Privacy shielded.  Noise dampened.  Nice bathroom and bed.  Rest.  It's going to be a long week," he said, walking off.  Steve stopped him and gave him a hug.  He grinned as he hugged him back.  "Thanks," he said quietly.

He grinned.  "I'm not going to deny that you drive me nuts just because my best friend suddenly shows up.  I doubt Bucky's going to be against anything that makes me happy, Tony.  Even if I did freak out a bit at Howard's ghost, he's different."

Tony smiled and walked off.  He opened the door.  "Oh my god, I did not need to see that you have a tattoo there, Barton!"

"Bite me, Stark.  I do not."

"Bullshit."  He tossed down his sunglasses.  "Magic see-through spells thanks to the coven."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Dawn, your uniform should be burned soon," he called when the elevator paused on the floor she was on.

"I'm hoping someone can take it and use it to make bras, Stark."  The baby squealed.  "That's right, that's Uncle Tony."  She walked out to grin at him.  "Beyond that, they had my pack.  Fuck 'em."

He laughed.  "Your mates are claiming each other up on the walkway.  Why did you have his tattoo hidden?"

"He had it hidden.  Not me."

"Oh.  Whatever."  He looked at the baby.  "Want to go learn how to love the lab so you can go in the suit if Chris doesn't want it?"

"I doubt you can breastfeed him, boss, and he's starving."

Tony shook his head.  "I'm not that sort of genius.  Thanks though."  He let the doors shut and went down to handle the chaos going on outside with his other people.  He walked in to Pepper giving an announcement.

"Patty has just had her daughter by c-section at the same birthing center Dawn used."  She smiled.  "The doctors there were superb.  Patty said it went really fast and easy, Jonathan didn't pass out and neither did Andrew.  Allenetta and Caroline are happy friends already according to Andrew.  Caro's already cooing at her.  The people who had Andrew and the others are very sorry but Agent Coulson is dealing with them."

Dawn walked in.  "Are we missing anyone else I need to help go rescue?" she asked, looking around.  "I'll gladly go destroy another compound to get them."  A few looked nervous.  She did a head count and looked.  "Where's Shield Design?"  A few of them raised their hands.  "Are you missing people?"

"They had today off, Dawn."

"Okay."  She looked around.  "Where's lab 18?"  No one said anything.  "Anyone seen them today?"  No one said anything.  "JARVIS?"

"I believe by the scans I'm doing that we're missing six or seven people.  I'm not sure if one was off today or not, Dawn.  I believe they were beamed off by the same people."

"So in other words, someone cracked Stargate or us to get the beaming satellite or they hijacked it?" Tony asked.

"Hijacked it, sir.  The hacking was stopped within minutes.  Accessing those records, there are seven still missing.  I'm making a list for you."

Tony looked at it.  "Biologists and chemists.  Any idea where, JARVIS?"

"It led to the same starting point.  I've alerted Agent Coulson so he can handle it with the agents from SHIELD Europe who are whining at him at the moment."

Dawn smiled.  "I can go help.  Did he get that poodle?"

"He did and changed him back to ask who he was with.  He was apparently with a third group that was interested and was trying to infiltrate them."

"Then he should've identified himself when I asked," Dawn said bluntly.  "Do they need help?"

"Grounded," Tony and Pepper said together.  Pepper took Philip, who was happily squealing at Mommy.

"No, Agent Coulson said he has it and he does know where they are.  He's presently moving them into assault shape and ignoring their boss, who he outranks anyway.  Agent Hill has said that they're a go and has had the head over there arrested for being an idiot."

"Sometimes," Dawn muttered.  She walked off.  "Son, want to come with me or stay with Auntie Pepper?"  He cooed at the auntie.  "Okay.  You just ate so that's good."  Beya took him from Pepper, making Dawn grin.  "That's fine too."  She went to the walkway and paused, staring at them.  "I'd be jealous but you're both being tied down tonight so I can have some fun."

Clint looked up at her from kissing Natasha.  "You know I hate being tied down, Dawn."

She smiled.  "Then you should've saved me some, Clint."  She strolled off.  "Beya has him."

Clint and Natasha shared a look.  "We'll have to ambush her first."

"The twins might try to save her."

"Nah, they'll appreciate us stalking and trapping our prey."  They shared an evil smirk and got up to rearrange their clothes.  Clint had to get a new t-shirt but that was fine with him.  They'd have fun trapping the most wily predator ever, their wife in a wicked mood.

Bucky tried hard to quit blushing.  "This is really strange," he told Steve.

"It's good to see them happy."  He was blushing too.  He had no idea Natasha would get that loud.

"I never made her get that loud."

"You should hear Dawn," Steve said then cleared his throat.  He looked up at the 'excuse me, you did *what* to my spouse' that got yelled.  "I think Xander's upset with someone who went after Phil.  Want to rest, clean up?  I'll get you a few of my spare things."

"Sure, I could nap.  Maybe this headache will go away."

"Maybe," Steve said.  "No idea though."  He got him a few things and brought them back, handing them over with a smile.  "When you're ready, come on over.  We're in the penthouse.  JARVIS will let you up."

"Yes I will," the AI said.  "Though the elder Stark's ghost is up there throwing a fit."

"I'll talk with Howard in a minute," Steve sighed.  "He's in ghostly form," he told his best friend.  "He's slightly driving us nuts some days."  He went up there to calm him down.  He stared at the cat that was batting at him then at the ghost.  "He's curious.  That's why he's named after your son."  Howard stared at him.  "They just found Bucky.  Any idea how or why?  Since he doesn't look like he's really aged?"

Howard swallowed.  "We had a theory but no proof, Steve."

"You could've told us.  We would've went to rescue him."

"There wasn't time and we had people looking for him."

"Where is the file, Howard?  I'll yell later, when I've processed all this new input that's giving me a headache."

"My office, second locked drawer in the filing cabinet the last I knew.  Unless Tony moved it."

"Tony doesn't go to the mansion.  He hates it there."  He walked off, taking his motorcycle over.  He needed a mind clearing ride and JARVIS would tell him if Bucky was looking for him.


Xander appeared in a manner that shook the building and made people grab for solid surfaces.  He glared at one of them.  "Excuse me, you did *what* to my spouse?"

"Sir, who are you?" one of the agents asked.

Xander hit him.  "Alexander.  And I no longer protect you, mortal."  The guy flinched back, shaking his head.  "Oh, yeah.  Definitely."  He helped Phil up.  "Are you all right?  You're healing good?" he asked, checking the small caliber gunshot wound.  "Let me kill them for this," he said, setting Phil in a chair.

"I already did, Xander.  I can kill people myself," Phil said blandly.

He looked at him.  "I know you can.  You took out one the other day with a bottle of poisoned white out."  He smiled at him.  "It gave me happy tingles."

"I remember you having them."  He patted him on the hand.  "I'm fine.  We have to get the other scientists that were stolen from Stark."

"Andrew and Jonathan?"

"Dawn rescued them and Patty."  Xander growled.  "They're dead, Xander.  Calm down."


Phil patted him on the hand.  "Let's go raid the other compound. You can help me wipe out some bad guys."  Xander grinned and manifested his axe, bouncing some.  They left together.  When they came back, there were fewer agents standing around being useless.  The ones who had survived were arrested.  The geeks were taken back to Stark, and SHIELD Europe was getting a new head agent just as soon as they found Fury to make it so.


Dawn walked in that night, smiling at the baby.  "Are you being Mr. Messy Pants again?" she asked him with a smile.  "It figures that you'd poop just as we got home.  You do it so Daddy has to change you, right?"  Clint walked past and stole the baby, making Dawn grin.  "Cool, thanks."

"Welcome.  Talked to your mother.  She's got something wrong with her."

"I noticed.  I asked Stepdad to please fuck it out of her."  The twins gasped and stared in open-mouthed horror.  "Not like they don't have sex, girls."  Artemis squeaked.  She smiled and hugged them both.  "Mom and Bruce have sex at least once in a while.  The same as we do."

"We're going to visit Sean," Diana chirped, nearly squeaking, still blushing.  She stole the baby, Artemis grabbed the diaper bag, and they fled.

"I wonder how they're going to feed him," Dawn said, looking up.

"You expressed earlier," Clint reminded her.  "You had two in the fridge.  Three bottles should get him through the night."  He smirked and walked over to where Dawn was, but she moved to put up her bag and jacket.  "Won't save you."

"Why do I need saved?" she asked with a grin.  "I'm a good girl."

"No you're not."  He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, tossing her onto the bed.  Natasha nicely hitched her down.  Clint looked over the outfit, which admittedly was one of his favorite on her.  So they couldn't cut it off her.  Which left Natasha doing it while Clint distracted Dawn so she didn't want to get free.  Dawn was playing innocent but they knew what had happened.  Phil had given a very succinct report about what had happened.  It was time to remind Dawn who the badass in the family was and which one of them was the princess.  Natasha pulled over a knife.  "I like that one," Clint said.

"I do as well, she should've changed into something expendable."  She looked at the outfit, then smiled.  "Will you be good and get undressed for us?"

"I haven't been bad today," Dawn said with a smile.

"Princess, you're so going to get it for earlier," Clint assured her.  He could undo her skirt, stockings, garter belt, and panties.  Natasha had the bra and shirt to handle.   He and Natasha shared a look.  "We'll buy her a new shirt."

"Hey, it's one of the few that fits," Dawn complained.

"We'll buy you a new one," Natasha said, giving her a kiss before cutting it off.  The bra got removed more delicately.  Good, comfortable nursing bras were hard to find.  Clint stared but Natasha cleaned up a small leak from one breast.  "He hasn't fed recently?"

"No, he fed about an hour ago.  I produce way too much milk."

"Hmm," Clint said. "Maybe that's because it was twins before the time flip?"  Dawn stared at him.  He nodded.  "They didn't get to hit you with the fertility drugs, Dawn."

"Maybe," she said, scanning herself.  "The Keys are doing something."  She shifted them back into their usual position.  No extra baby but it felt like she was missing something.  "Huh.  That could be."  They shrugged and teased her by cleaning up the few drips.  "Guys," she complained.

"We'll help you pump in a bit," Clint said, licking up from a nipple to Dawn's lips so he could tease them.  "Nat, did you hear that the doctor wouldn't let her go back on the dual birth control because she thought it might screw up her body?"

"I did hear her mentally complaining about that.  We will have to be careful."

"Condoms aren't coming back," Dawn said firmly.

"There are other things we can do when you're more likely to be fertile," Natasha said with an evil smirk.  "Including you becoming only mine those days."  Dawn shivered.   She moved down to check her over.  "Nearly off your cycle?"

"Stopped earlier.  Could use cleaned up."

"We'll do that in a while," Clint said.  He pulled out a few condoms and tossed them onto the pillow beside her head.  Dawn gave him a pointed look.  He smiled.  "We'll need 'em."  He found the lube too.  Dawn was staring at him.  "It's been much too long since we claimed you in a way that showed."

"No, not really.  You two did that earlier," Dawn said.

"Yes but we haven't claimed you recently," Natasha said with a wicked smirk.  "So we will today."  She found her strap on set and put it on, looking at the toy attached to it.  "That should do."  Dawn moaned, watching them do what they wanted to do.  Clint was checking how much lube they had.  That told her it was going to be an interesting night.

Clint opened the tube of lube, spreading some onto his fingertips to be spread around.  He grinned as he reached down to start the prep work.  Dawn gasped as the cool gel slid into her on callused fingers.  "Clint," Dawn moaned.

"This way we can make sure you're not getting pregnant again soon."  Dawn was shifting to give him better access.  "Natasha, want to shift her so you don't have to wait?"

"No, I believe this is fine for right now."  She looked Dawn over, leaning down to tease a few things.  Dawn flinched and yelped into one bite.  She arched up to get away from the teeth so Clint slid a pillow under her hips.  Natasha driving Dawn nuts worked well for his plans.  When he ran out of patience, he pulled on a condom to slick down.  Then he slid in.  Dawn gasped and writhed a bit.  He grinned.  "Been a while."

"Very long time," she groaned.

"Time to remedy that," he said, leaning down to kiss her.  "More than time to remedy that oversight."  Dawn was gasping and pushing back against him.  "Nat, I'd offer you my lap but it'd mean I can't thrust at all."

She smiled and straddled him, nestling herself inside Dawn's body.  "I think this will work fine for me and you can have the time when I'm worn out."  He nibbled on her throat.  She tipped her head back but set up a fairly strong rhythm inside Dawn.  It made sure that the part of his cock that was outside of Dawn's body was being rubbed by Natasha's ass.  Dawn was moaning and trying to grab them but the handcuffs were good ones.  Dawn tried to get out of them but Natasha distracted her so she couldn't pick them, couldn't gather enough thought to teleport slightly out of them, and was going to stay there and enjoy it, like usual.

"Oh my god!" Dawn shouted.  "'Tasha!  Please!"

"Soon."  She leaned down to lick over a dripping breast.  "We will let you go soon."

"I don't care about letting go!"

"We'll let you go in that other way soon," she promised, taking a kiss.  Clint moaned.  Natasha sped up, letting Dawn get off.  She pulled back with a slurp of sound and leaned down to kiss her better.  "Let Clint play, Dawn, and then I will give you more."

She pulled her lips back by biting on one.  "Go put on the choker for me?" she begged.

"We will do that some other time."  She smirked evilly.  "While he cannot help."

"I still might get a bit strange about it," Clint complained.  Natasha got off him and he shifted closer, sliding all the way back in.  Natasha's position had meant he was only as deep as his head.  Now, he had full range of motion.  Dawn whimpered and wrapped her thighs around him.  He grinned.  "All mine now."

"Mercy?" she begged.  "Or an orgasm?"

"Neither of those are on my agenda until after dinner.  Sorry."  He pushed in extra hard, making her gasp.  He teased her clit a few times with his thumb but Dawn was in a bad way.  She was going to split herself open to get what she needed and wanted - if he let her, because he wasn't about to let her get that far yet.  He shifted so he could lean down and get a bit deeper and harder thrusts going.  She shivered but clung to Natasha's hands since she was playing with her fingers.  Dawn had a few nice, sensitive spots that Natasha was going to torment while Clint made her feel like their wife again.  Dawn was shaking and making needy noises but Clint and Natasha soaked them up.  Dawn wasn't getting off yet.  Natasha got the small vibrating egg that they loved because it drove Dawn insane.  She licked it over then inserted it with a careful finger.  She turned it on medium.

Clint yelped and growled.  "Nat!"

She smiled.  "The walls are that thin?"

"Yes, they are!"  He shifted the ball higher, up near her g-spot and cervix.  That was better, he could barely feel the vibration.

"Mother fucker!" Dawn shouted, arching up again and sobbing.  "Clint!  Natasha!  C'mon!"

"You will be getting off after you've eaten dinner.  You missed lunch for the doctor's appointment," Natasha said.  "Then you may get off."  Clint smirked at her but went back to his fun.  "Are you nearly done?  I was going to order."

"Not even close," he growled.

Natasha smiled and put an order in.  When it got there she went down to retrieve it in a bathrobe.  The delivery boy gaped but she arched an eyebrow up and gave him an extra tip with a small smile.  She went back upstairs, putting the food on the counter.  She also killed the fly that had been bothering the house since the night before.  She strolled back into their bedroom, taking off the robe.  Dawn was on her stomach and Clint was still riding her ass until she wanted to beg for more than mercy.  Natasha slid under her head.  Dawn automatically attacked her clit, making Natasha happy.

Clint grinned at her.  "She mindless yet?"

"Not nearly.  She's still got tongue rhythm."  Clint shifted slightly and pushed in harder.  Dawn yelped into Natasha's body.  Natasha gently guided her head back down.  Dawn moaned but licked her.  "That's slightly better," she said, moaning and tipping her head to the side.  "More, Dawn?"  She spread out for her pleasure.  Dawn knew what she needed and wanted.  Clint was dripping sweat.  Natasha was starting to get warm.  Dawn was making needy noises into Natasha's crevices.  Clint finally came with a growl and a push in that settled him as deeply as he could.  His back arched and he panted, calming himself down.  He looked down at Dawn's back, leaning down to lick up some of the sweat.  "Now I'm hungry."

Natasha smiled.  "She is too by the way she's treating me like an ice cream cone again."

"Get off and we can eat," Clint said with a smile.  They kissed over Dawn's back.  Clint carefully pulled out, holding onto the condom.  It got tossed out and he flopped down beside his girls.  Natasha was holding Dawn's head in place but the new cuffs were preventing Dawn from using her hands at all.  Clint leaned over.  "Tongue fuck her, Dawn.  Then bite her clit," he said in her ear.

"She is," Natasha moaned.  "She's doing very well."  Dawn shifted and switched targets.  Natasha moaned loudly and came, going stiff for a second.  Dawn cleaned her up.  "That's precious, Dawn.  For that, you'll get an hour before you get to come."  She undid the straps, kissing each wrist.  Then her wife.  Who cuddled her.  "We should eat."

Dawn blinked at her.  "I can't."

"You can," Clint said, running a hand down her back.  He got something and slid the small plug into her ass.  Then he adjusted the vibrating egg, making Dawn moan and go tense.  "Dinner."

"I can be dinner," she promised.

Clint smiled.  "After I clean you out, you're going to be dessert."  Dawn shivered.  Clint stood and helped her up, letting her lean against him since she had wobbly legs.  Natasha adjusted the egg's vibration. "Is that one waterproof, Nat?"

She smiled.  "It is."  They shared a smirk.  She got them dinner and Dawn ate it from Clint's lap.  He had demanded, that way she ate instead of teasing them and feeding them.  Natasha got finished first and looked over Dawn's stomach.  "I believe we need to do something."  She teased a finger along Dawn's fold so she'd open up.  "She's a bit tense, Clint."

"We'll clean her out in a few minutes so I can have my treat."

Dawn blinked at him.  "More?"

"Much, much more, Dawn.  In the morning you're going to have 'property of Clint and Natasha' on your soul and radiating out of your body."  He grinned.  "The one you already have is starting to wear out."  She shook her head.  "Yeah, it is."  He kissed her and finished dinner.  Natasha pulled Dawn over to kiss and make her straddle her lap.  "That's beautiful."  He threw out the dishes and put the silverware in the sink.  He could prep the bathroom while they made out.  Natasha was going to help Dawn pump milk for their spawn and then bring her in.  They had already talked about this. 

Clint got everything ready and came out to watch. The automatic pump was good.  Natasha was teasing the other side.  When it was time she switched the suction cup to the full side and cleaned up the other one.  The suction did make Dawn's nipples very sensitive.  When they were done, Natasha put the milk in the fridge while Clint carried Dawn into the bathroom.  She could almost walk again but Clint was being macho today.  It required carrying, and if he could have done it he would've had her play dick trophy like Hylal had for Buffy. 

Instead, he'd have to deal with an enema or two.  He had found the neatest plug that went in both holes at the same time.  He slid in their other vibrating egg and then the plug once it was on.  He hooked the bag up onto the little nail in there and opened the clothespin keeping it closed.  Dawn shivered and gripped the sink.  He helped her bend down so it was a better position then sat on their vanity bench and pulled her so she was over his lap.  "That's my girl," he praised.  Dawn was in needy hell.  The vibrating eggs felt different surrounded by sterile water. 

Dawn's breath was hitching and she was wiggling.  He smoothed a hand over her back, calming her down.  They didn't usually do an enema this way; usually it was Dawn doing one to get ready for anal sex.  Dawn was twitching and trying to breathe.  Clint checked the water then her.  "Just a bit more," he soothed.  She was tense and whining.  The water finished and he unhooked the bag, leaving in the plug.  Dawn was whining.  He stroked over her.  "Lick me, Dawn.  You can relieve it in a few minutes."  She shifted onto her knees carefully and licked him, looking up at him.  He grinned down at her.  "Like that, yeah.  Make me yours, Dawn."

She moaned and went deeper, making Clint get harder.  "Can I please get rid of the water?"

"Not yet.  Are the eggs good?"

She shrugged a bit.  "Slightly but it's not conducting the vibrations the same way."

"Hmm."  He pulled her off him, leaving a string of drool from her lips to his cock.  He pulled out the plug.  "Go."  She ran to the toilet to relieve that pressure.  "Bring out the eggs if they fall out."


"They'll need cleaned anyway and I might want to do another one."

"Clint," she complained.

"Dawn, I'm going to be tongue deep in you soon.  I want it *very* clean when I have my dessert."  He grinned at her shivering.  "Do I need to come distract you?"


"Okay."  He considered it.  He might want another one.  He ran a warm washcloth to clean her up.  She'd do most of it but he'd make sure.  She came out blushing.  He cleaned her gently, getting to tease her through it.  He tasted her and smiled.  "Wonderful."  He pulled her closer so he could lick her until she begged.

"Bed?" she panted.

"In a few.  Natasha's changing the sheets."  Dawn gripped the edge of the vanity, letting Clint have his teasing time.  Clint brought her to the edge and then backed off, gently teasing her back down.

Dawn was trying to touch herself but he was keeping her from it.  "Switch with her?" she begged.

"No, not tonight.  Sorry.  We flipped a coin.  In two days we get to switch so you have time to get less sore.  Which is also your next day off."  He gave her one last lick and brought her out there.  The bed was set up so they could sleep on it.  "Not helping?" he asked with a slight pout.

"I will be.  My thigh is a bit sore.  I'll help by distracting her."

Clint grinned at Dawn, who was shivering.  "That'll work."  He climbed onto the bed and pulled her into his lap.  Dawn's ass got stroked over then Clint handed Natasha a condom.  She grinned as she rolled it down him then took the lube to reapply to both of them.  Dawn was groaning and praying hard to the Goddess that they get on with it.  She was still needy, even if she wasn't as needy as she had been before dinner.  That was about to change.  Clint slid in, making Dawn gasp and grip his shoulders. 

"Easy," he whispered in her ear, getting another shiver.  "It's going to be a long ride, Dawn."  He slowly thrust in and let her meet him.  She knew how this position worked for them.  It was going to be a long, slow, hard ride between them.  A hard thrust, then a slow slide out.  A hard thrust, a pause, then a slow slide out.  Dawn was already moaning and gasping.  Natasha's fingers had something to do with that but it was all good for them any way it happened.

"More," Dawn demanded, staring at him.  "Please?"

He grinned.  "You'll get off, Dawn."

"Not concerned with that," she panted, kissing him.  "Need more, Clint."

"I can do that."  He laid her back down carefully, keeping in her.  That gave him better leverage for a faster, still hard ride.  That's how Dawn liked it anyway.  Though, he was feeling that growling, primal urge again since she was so sweaty and her skin had a nice flush to it.  Maybe...."  He rode her extra hard, trying not to slip into that urge.  She was scratching his arms for a handhold on his sweaty skin.  "Dawn, dangerous," he warned.

She blinked up at him and wiggle free then flipped over and licked Natasha's breast.  Clint growled and slid back into her, taking her harder and faster.  Dawn shrieked in pleasure and bounced back to meet him.  She could barely catch her breath.  Clint was sucking his way up her back until she pushed back against him.  Being a pushy bottom flipped a few of his switches and his primal urges knew that meant she needed to be claimed harder and better.

"Calm down," Natasha ordered.  Dawn kissed her, making her moan.

Clint smirked, slowing down some so his girls could play for a bit.  Dawn wiggled but he spread her cheeks apart to get deeper into her ass.  She pushed back.  "Wife," he said in her ear.  "You're not going to want to sit tomorrow."  He thrust in hard.  Dawn moaned.  "Is that what you want?"

"I just want you, Clint," she panted.  "It's all good."  He groaned against her shoulder.  "Natasha needs teased."

"Flip her around and be the dick teasing slut you are for us," he told her.  She gave him a look.  "You do for me and no one else."

She grinned.  "I love to tease you."  He growled and pushed in harder.  Dawn moaned but Natasha helped by letting her distract herself by licking and teasing her pussy.  Clint liked that.  All of him liked that.  He hadn't been this hard in quite a while, and he wasn't near ready to come yet.  Dawn... well, they had a great tub for her to soak in.  He kept riding her, making her moan into Natasha's body, which made Natasha moan back.  Clint was getting closer.  Dawn was pleading to come. 

Clint slammed in a few times and let himself come, pinching Dawn's clit to make her go over too.  Dawn's mind flashed open, drawing theirs in.  She couldn't help it and they wouldn't deny her that release too.  She was over stimulated but they could make her shake apart.  Natasha moved to tease her instead and Dawn shrieked out loud and mentally, finally coming apart.  They panted, calming down.  Clint slowly pulled out, taking off the condom to throw out.  Dawn was wincing and hissing as she laid down.

Natasha kissed her, cuddling her front.  "Are you all right?  We can run you a tub."

"Don't you dare move," she said hoarsely.  "I will pout and not give you oral sex for *days*."

Natasha smiled.  "I won't move them.  Clint could run it."  She shook her head, pulling Clint against her backside.  "Fine, we will cuddle.  I set the clock to get us up a half-hour early so you could do some soaking."  Dawn grinned and snuggled in, making sure Clint was against her back by trapping his arm over her chest.  Natasha wrapped around her front, and Dawn fell asleep faster than she ever had.

Clint watched as the green glow slowly faded, staring at Natasha, who was smiling back.  "The cream that relieves pain?" he mouthed.  She pointed in the bathroom.  "Safe?"  She nodded.  "She'll need it."  Natasha smiled and nodded.  He yawned.  "I'm exhausted."  He shifted some and fell asleep with his head tucked underneath Dawn's hair.  Natasha let them sleep, slowly stroking over Dawn's side when she fussed a bit.  She finally fell asleep too.  It was a good night to be Dawn.


Dawn came off the elevator in the morning and stood to sort the mail, handing it over.

Pepper watched how she was walking.  "Do you need the infirmary?" she hissed.  "I'll go find my softball bat to beat them with."

Dawn shook her head, blushing some.  "They flipped a coin to see which one got which hole, Pepper," she hissed.  Pepper shivered.  Dawn nodded.  "Thankfully there's a numbing cream."  She walked out to do her lab rounds.  She was *sore* but she could almost walk normally.

She walked past Tony in the hallway and he turned to walk her off to her desk.  She hissed and winced as she sat down.  He stared down at her.  "Infirmary?"

"Butt sex," she admitted with a blush, not looking up at him.  "A lot of butt sex."

Tony was blushing too.  "Okay, TMI, but want the day off?"

"No, I can stand," she said.

"Uh-huh.  You have to sit sometime today."  She looked up at him.  "Take something?"


"Need checked?" he asked.  She shook her head quickly.  "You sure?"

"Already did."


"Clint.  Numbing cream," she assured him with a smile.  He stared at her.  "Four hours of butt sex," she mouthed.

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "Seen that problem then, yeah.  Want Pepper's little seat ring?"

Dawn shook her head.  "No thanks."  He walked into the office and closed the door, sharing a smirk with Pepper.  Who was giggling.  Dawn calmed herself down and went back on her lab rounds.  Thankfully Andrew was too busy cooing over their kids to notice she couldn't really walk properly.  Bruce wasn't in his lab but had left his reports.  She ran into Steve in the hallway back to the office.

He stared at her.  "Should I beat one of them for you?"

"You do and you're going to be taking your shield up your ass," she muttered, staring at him.  "It was playing too hard."  He blushed, looking down and shaking his head.  "Really, I'm okay.  If they had been mean I would've already killed them."

"Good point."  He helped her back to her desk, watching her wince as she sat down.  He realized what that was.  "Tony's done that to me many days," he said quietly, going into the office.  "She looks like I did after our anniversary."  Tony smirked at him.  "Though she said if I beat them for it, she was going to shove my shield somewhere indelicate."

"She probably could," Pepper admitted.  "Shrinking it and then teleporting it."

Steve gave her a look then kissed her on the head.  "Usually that's a Dawn thought, Pepper."  He walked off blushing.  Bucky was still in the training area but Callia was over to talk to him about things.  He stared at her.  "How did you get in here?"

"I knocked until someone let me in," she said with a grin.  "We Starks are sneaky bitches."

"Added more time to your grounding," he assured her with a smile.

She sighed but shrugged. "I'll be grounded so long that I'll eventually catch up to the grade I'm in as I age into it anyway."  He gave her a pointed look.  "You won't even let me do homework."

"Yeah, try that again," he said dryly, pointing.  "You had a social studies paper due yesterday your dad said you didn't do."

"You have my tablet and my laptop.  How do you expect me to do papers?"

"Pen, paper?  The old fashioned way," he said with a smirk.  "Now."  She huffed but went to do that.  "Add on another page while you're at it."  She pouted but went to her room to work on that.  Steve looked up and shook his head then looked at Bruce.  "Dawn's in a cranky mood since she can't sit."

"Do we need to beat them?"

"She promised to shove my shield somewhere when I offered."

"Ah!  That sort of sore."  Bruce shook his head but he was smiling.  "It can be fun."  Steve blushed bright red.

"I think he knows that, Dr. Banner," Bucky said with a grin for him.

"Slightly.  I could still sit."

"You have advanced healing," Bruce quipped.  "So do I.  Dawn doesn't."  He looked over as the two missing avengers walked in.  "Should we say something about why Dawn's too sore to sit?"

Clint grinned.  "We flipped a coin, Bruce, and until you can straighten out her mom, no you can't."

He groaned.  "I have no idea.  I asked but she brushed it off."

"I find talking to Dawn after sex works best," Natasha quipped.  "She'll actually say things she never meant to tell us."

Clint nodded.  "Yup."

Bruce shook his head.  "I'd rather enjoy it than use it for interrogation."

"We don't," Clint assured him with an evil smirk.  "For that, there's Godiva chocolates."  Bruce's mouth flopped open.  "Dawn *loves* a few of their candy bar flavors."

"Damn you're mean," Bucky said, starting to laugh.  "Can you use that in an official one?"

"Depends on the person," Natasha admitted.  "I've used drugged chocolate and hot chocolate in the past."

"I don't usually interrogate.  I usually fire instead of ask questions," Clint said.  He looked around.  "I'd almost expect the sword-using jackass to be hovering."

"Sent him off earlier," Steve sighed.  "He's pouting.  Beya wanted to know where Philip is."

"The twins stole him last night to visit Sean," Natasha said, rolling her eyes.

Dawn limped in.  "We have to talk to the girls anyway.  Diana decided she wanted to know what making out was like and asked one of the young Marines."

Bruce looked at her.  "Want me to tell your mother?"

"No, she and I are having a talk when she gets back here."  They got beamed in, with Sean scowling.  "Sean, she's underage but some day she's going to date."

"Not today and not with the Marines on Atlantis," he said firmly.  "We should respect them for the warriors they are, not treat them like tonsil hockey instructors," he told his sister.

"Mom was fifteen when she got kissed."

"You're fourteen and Mom would kick your ass," Sean countered.

Dawn whistled.  "Stop it."  They both stared at her.  "Artemis, please take Philip up to Beya?"

"No," she pouted.  "He's going to help me in the gym."  She walked off happier.

Sean groaned.  "Aunt Dawn, can we talk before you have the longer talk with my sister?"

"Why?"  He walked over to hiss in her ear.  "I understand that."  She hugged him.  "I'll talk to her later.  You?"

"I....  I kinda do but I kinda don't.  If we could move the city there, then I'd be *really* happy."

"Don't suggest that, there's demons that can do that," she quipped.  Sean's eyes went wide and he stared at her.  She nodded.  "We'll talk later."  Sean nodded and walked over to talk to his grandfather about that botanist.  Dawn looked over.  "Do I need my sword again?"

"No, she said if she hears you're there she's going to hide for her life inside the decontamination chambers.  She might even put herself in stasis so she doesn't have to wait."

"Hell no," Clint told him.  "She needs to get a life."  Sean grinned at him.  "Sean, this is Bucky, a friend of your Uncle Steve's from the old days."

Sean blinked at him.  "Were you in ice too?"

"Not exactly."

"Huh."  He shook his hand then grinned at his uncle.  "Ronon said I need to spar against others so I don't get too used to his style."

"Sure, kid, we can spar."  Sean beamed and nodded.  "You going to do it in that?"

He nodded.  "I do most days."  He got up.  "Let me stretch?"

"We can work together," Natasha said, taking him off to the side to help him stretch.  She was the better fighter between her and Clint.

Dawn looked at them.  "It's my day to spar too."

Clint grinned.  "You sure you want to do that?"

"No."  He laughed and hugged her, kissing her on the forehead.  "Let me go talk to Diana."  She walked off.  "Artemis, go help your brother," she called into the gym.  "He's sparring with your aunt."

"Yes, Auntie.  C'mon, Philip, we'll go watch Sean spar.  You'll like that."  She carried him up there babbling the whole way.

Dawn found Diana sulking with Pepper and helped her up.  "Let's go talk."

"I just wanted to find out!" she protested.  "He wasn't going to go farther."

"Most boys would've tried to go farther and when you realized it felt good, would've nudged you to go all the way," Tony said simply.  "Which you're at least two years too young for.  Your body still has some growing to do.  The only thing you should be wondering about your body's responses is to your own touch.  That way boys can't show you how good something feels as a way to get into your panties."  Diana was blushing.  "And if you're still blushing about it, it's too soon to do anything with it."

"That's a good outlook," Dawn agreed.  "We're going to the admin breakroom."  She took her that way, settling in on the couch in there to talk to her.  She needed the big girl talk apparently.


Demons all over the plane looked at earth and New York City when they heard that idea.  They looked at their higher ups, who would not be pleased, but it would solve a lot of problems and it wasn't like the demigods couldn't get back.  Right?  So maybe.....

Plus, it would be a favor to the former senior slayer before her children caused much brain damage due to lack of oxygen to the higher brain in many men.  Especially over Sean.


Artemis felt something going on and blinked.  "Diana!" she yelled.  "Sean!"  They both came running.  They were at home.  "Something's wrong.  Uncle John's not there."

Diana concentrated, she had better sensing skills.  "Atlantis isn't there."  They shared a look.  They linked like Callia's coven of teachers had taught them, finding it.  "It's on Asgard."  The three kids shared a look then ran to pack.  They could find Thor.  He was on Earth.

They went to SHIELD, where he probably was.  Nope.  No Uncle Phil either.  They concentrated.  Diana could do the moving spell they had been taught for emergencies.  They landed in front of Thor and a lady friend of his.  "Uncle Thor, someone sent Atlantis to Asgard," Sean reported.  "We need to get there to help them.  The city might die if not.  She's not meant to be somewhere that magic heavy and we can't feel Uncle John at all."

Thor sensed that way and frowned.  "Who would do such?" he muttered.  He kissed his friend on the forehead.  "Lady Jane, these are Buffy and the warrior Hylal's children, now being raised by their aunt Dawn.  This is Artemis, Diana, and Sean."

She smiled and waved.  "Hi, kids.  I hope they're okay."

"Me as well.  Atlantis is ancient beyond even my years," Thor said.  He took them to the Bifrost and up to Asgard that way.  Once there they drew him with them.  They were used to the magic on Asgard, they had been raised with it and using it.

"Why in the mother fucking hell is there *SNOW*!" a pissed off, shrieking male voice shouted.  "We do not have snow like this in the US or in Canada and Canada is half snow for part of the year!  There isn't even snow like this at the Antarctic Outpost!"  A pause.  "YOU'RE THE DAMN GOD, YOU FIX IT!" got yelled even louder.

Sean blinked.  "Wow, Rodney's in a mood."  He walked them to the lab.  "Welcome to Asgard," he said.  Rodney quit huffing and screaming to stare at him.  Sean nodded.  "By the way, this is Thor."

Rodney nodded at him.  "Welcome to Atlantis."

"She is a beauteous city that is beyond all thoughts of modern and godly men," he said, patting a wall.  "Well met, Atlantis, and welcome to our home of Asgard."

"Thank you, God Thor.  How did we get here?" the city's AI asked.

"Demons," Artemis said.  "I can feel the demonic magic around you, Atlantis."  The AI huffed.  "Sorry?"

"That explains a lot and why I have a headache," John said, rubbing his forehead.  "Even beyond the screaming fit."  He glared at Rodney.  "Rodney, reconfigure her to weaker sunlight and more snow.  It'll be snowing a lot around here."  He looked at the kids.  "Where on Asgard are we?" he asked Thor.

He sensed.  "On the Lake of Wailing."

John winced.  "Great.  But hey, not near the giants of any kind."  He was still rubbing his forehead.  Diana moved forward to help him ease it.  "Thanks, kiddo."  He hugged her.  "Why did you three show up?"

"We are native and it's good to have native guides," Sean quipped.  "Like with Teyla and Ronon."

"And hey, no wraith up here," Artemis said with a grin.  She was slightly behind Thor and spotted something.  "Thor, are you injured?"  She pushed him into a chair and moved his cape to look at his shoulder.  "Who cut you so?" she demanded, scowling at him.  "They are hopefully in tiny motes of godly anger!"  She summoned a first aid kit and babied it for him.

He smiled slightly at her.  "It was nothing, Artemis."

"Bull!"  She stared at him.  "Warriors have to be healthy or else they're a danger in battle to others.  Even the tiniest scratch can infect because it could have who knows what on it.  Even Mom got one and she's got, had, super healing."  He smiled.  She finished bandaging it, ignoring her brother and sister huffing.  She glared at them finally.  "Some of us are maternal."  They quieted down.  She taped down the last corner.  "There, Thor.  Well tended and clean again so it is not a danger to Asgard's First Son and greater hero."  She adjusted his cape and blushed, putting back the first aid box.

John stared at her.  "You're taking medic classes."

"I'm taking sword sister classes as well," she said dryly.  "Auntie agreed."

Thor let out a deep moan.  "Artemis, that is dangerous and you would have to go into battle."

She looked at him.  "If I should pick a warrior, then it only makes sense I help him with his duties until I start to bear spawn to carry on his blood.  Then I will fall back to guarding our home and spawn."

He smiled but blushed.  "That is the woman's way, yes."  He stood up.  "Well tended, thank thee."  She blushed and giggled, looking away.  He patted her awkwardly on the arm.  "Jonathan, how do you want to solve this?"

"I know not how to solve this," he said in Norse.  "Or else I would have already.  Because the amount of bitching we'll hear over this will not end.  Even my brother does not get as much bitching as this will cause."  The kids laughed and nodded.

Xander appeared, looking around.  "Atlantis, my cabin is at this point," he said, putting down a crystal.  "Use it as a marker to start making a map?"

"I can do so, Xander.  Thank you.  This is a strange realm that seems to shift and expend or contract as if breathing."

"As the tree wills it," Xander agreed.  "It's only the outer lands that sometimes expand.  Sometimes the Corridor of Doom that's between us and Buffy's former house by that cabin."


Odin appeared, looking around.  "What be this?" he demanded.

"This be Atlantis, Father," Thor said, nodding politely at him.  "Demons hath moved her here for some reason."

Artemis looked at him.  "Apparently they were a pain to the demons trying bad things."  Thor nodded that was probably true.

Odin stared at her.  "You are but a mortal girl."

She smirked.  "Nay, Odin All Father, we are the daughters and son of a warrior and a slayer.  We are not meager mortals nor are we 'girls'.  We are near our majority and our godfather has made sure we will have proper adult hunts coming up."  She stared at him.  "Even if the Gods do curse our mother for being loud when Daddy Hylal enjoys her."  Odin blushed and cleared his throat.

"Most of us enjoy them being happy," Xander said dryly.  He patted her on the back.  "Go to each and every single soldier and scientist to get their name and rank for O'Neill just in case.  Get them to do an inventory of what you have, have science do an inventory of what they need to make the city ice and snow capable."  They nodded and did that for him.

"She wishes to be a Sword Sister?" Thor asked quietly.

"No, she wishes to learn so her future warrior husband won't have to worry if he must go battle something."

Thor grinned.  "It is a pure woman's way."  He looked at the huffy scientists.  "We will see which demons did this so perhaps they can undo it."

Xander shrugged.  "Phil's looking into it."  John sat down and looked up, shaking his head.  "Yeah, basically."  He grinned then at Odin.  "At least nothing will be coming from this lake for years until we can move this Ancient city back."

"Ancient?" he asked.

"Yes, made by the Ascended Ones," Xander said.  "This is *the* Atlantis, Odin All Father.  The One That Sails Through Stars."

Odin gaped, looking at John.  "You are Senior here?"

"I'm the head of the soldiers and warriors here," John said.  He pointed.  "Rodney is the head of the scientists."

"He be your consort?" Odin asked.

"Nay," John said firmly.  "We are not suited to each other, Odin All Father.  For I like soft, wiggly things that have breasts and so does he.  No matter how often love gods tried to make that thought work."

Odin cleared his throat.  "You must tell your people."

"I will," Xander said.  "John's in shock, Grandfather.  He needs to rest."

Odin nodded.  "Transporting realms without your authority can do that.  Next time, use the bridge."  He disappeared.

Xander and John shared a look.  "Let me tell someone."  He looked at Thor.  "Can you help them set up relations with the local villages?"

"Aye.  What of the Monster?"

Xander shrugged.  "Let them play with it?"  He disappeared.  He landed in front of Hera.  "Mother!" he shouted.  She appeared with a squeak.  "Demons have seen fit to move the city of Atlantis to the Lake of Wailing on Asgard.  Including with John."

Hera burst out laughing.  "I needed that giggle, Xander."

He smirked.  "Do you think I'm really joking?"  She gaped and searched then burst out swearing.  "Yup."  He looked at his mother, who was staring up then growling.  "So, let's leave John alone.  He's got a light case of backlash.  Buffy's kids are helping right now.  Phil's finding the demons who did it so we know why and if it can be reversed."  He looked at his mother.  "Leave John be, Mom.  He's got a migraine."  He disappeared back to earth, appearing in front of a fuming O'Neill.  Phil appeared next to him.  "Anything?"

"Atlantis was going to be a major help in an upcoming apocalypse battle.  They wanted it out of the way.  They knew it wouldn't be hurt on Asgard, as they consider her a holy spot and shrine.  They knew that Buffy's kids could help them if necessary like the former natives in Pegasus did."  O'Neill nodded tersely.  "Beyond that, the demons who did it used their whole life force I'm told.  They basically committed suicide to make sure their plan worked.  The apocalypse they're talking about is in about ten months."  He handed Xander the book with the bookmark sticking out.

"They're fine, O'Neill.  I checked.  They're reconfiguring her to last through the snow and weaker sunlight.  They're on the Lake of Wails."

"Like hump back?" O'Neill asked.

"No, as in like Nessie who moans a lot," he quipped, reading it over.  "Fuck!"

Phil smirked slightly.  "Which is why they wanted the city out of harm's way in all meanings of the word."

Xander showed him.  "They would've tried to destroy the city anyway."

He read over the translated copy.  "How many prophecies of apocalypses are there?"

"That depends on what realm you're on," Xander said.  "On Asgard, there's one for everything.  You can sneeze and there's a prophecy about it."  Phil tried not to laugh.  "Seriously!  There's one that said I'd get the runs so bad I'd bleed from it."  He brought that book to show Phil.  Who did laugh.

"So how reliable is this one about the next bad thing coming?" O'Neill asked.

Xander looked.  "First, that's not a bad thing coming."  He pointed.  "That word translates into 'warriors of light' in one version and 'angels' in another.  Second, they seem to think so."

O'Neill considered that for a second.  "Okay, so are there actually angels?"

Xander shrugged.  "There's pantheons that don't speak to the rest of us."

"Wouldn't you *know*?" O'Neill asked.

"No.  See, there's two types of pantheons.  There's the ones that create the people they serve and there's ones that are created by the people they serve.  Ones like the Norse, the Greek, the Egyptian, the Hindu pantheons were there first and then created our peoples.  Which we then merged at a huge meeting way back when to standardize things for ease of catching power," he said with a hand wave.  "There's ones that're created by the people believing that strongly.  Those ones tend to be persnickety, tend to not want to associate with our earlier pantheons or the more powerful ones, and tend to be a bit isolationist.  There's a few of the isolationist sort in the prior ones but that's mostly because they're on the verge of having no one who remembers them, so therefore are dying out, or they're jackasses and we told them to go away."

"Would anyone know?" O'Neill asked.

"I can ask some of the Elder Ones."  He shrugged. "Thoth, may I have a moment?" he called.

The Egyptian God of Wisdom appeared.  "What's happened beyond Atlantis being displaced?"  Xander handed over the book then the other one.  He smiled.  "I was going to say, that's happened already."  He patted Xander on the back.

"He wanted to know how many prophecies there were.  I was proving a point."  He sent that back home.  "It sent up a wailing of people worried I'd die from it," he told O'Neill.

Thoth shook his head.  "I remember that bout of food poisoning but it was not that severe."  He read over the prophecy, scowling.  "Was that not on that box that shows pictures?" he muttered.

Phil nodded.  "It was.  So probably not on this realm?"

"Not unless they've been shoved here," Thoth said, handing the book back with a sigh.  "Thankfully.  We're due for another one about then."  Xander and Phil stared at him.  He smiled.  "Have we not been listening to the kitten poker circuit, boys?"

"I haven't had time," Xander admitted.  "Dawn would've but her spouses made her quit winning them weapons again."

Thoth nodded.  "About then we're looking at a plane being desperate enough to break through to flee their madman in charge.  I have no idea how we'll handle that."

Xander nodded.  "Which plane?"


Xander thought and shook his head.  "The one with the palm trees?"  Thoth smiled and nodded.  "They have a despot or just someone like that idiot in Rome?"

"More like that idiot in Rome."

"Great!" Xander said snidely.  "Let me go end that for them."

"Like debauching children for fun and games then murdering them according to Roman history?" Jack asked.

Thoth nodded.  "They have a ceremony for that yearly in the religion he created."

Xander looked up.  "I'll go fix it."  He smiled at the elder one.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, Xander.  They say he'd ascend and kill the people."

"I doubt that.  I can handle it."  Thoth patted him again and disappeared.  He looked at Phil.  "We've got to play some kitten poker tonight in LA."

"Sure."  He looked at O'Neill.  "They did say the city should be safe."

"Baldr?" Xander called.  He appeared, blinking hard at the bright lights.  "How long will it take us to move Atlantis back here by the Bifrost?"

"It is not possible at this time. We would have to build a carrier for it to go along the Bifrost, nephew.  Though I cannot fathom any other method unless it is moving it down the levels of the Tree of Life."

Xander considered it then shook his head.  "Too much risk of breaking branches that hold other realms."  Baldr nodded that was a risk.  "Okay.  Can you get Diama, her head geeks, and a few others like Hephaestus together so we can figure it out?  They need their soldiers back here."

"I can or make sure that the Bifrost can be used now and then to transport people back home or things up there.  I know for now they need blankets."

"I'll have Xander bring some supplies up later," Jack O'Neill said.  "Thank you, Lord Baldr."

He smiled.  "My mini version in space would like you."

"He did a few times.  I took that Thor fishing a few times."

Baldr laughed and smiled.  "Good!"  He went to gather them so they could devise a plan.

Xander looked at Phil.  "I'll tell the Director," Phil promised.  "And Dawn."  He disappeared.

Xander looked at O'Neill.  "Give me a few hours.  John has backlash."

"Like you did?"

"Less intense.  His migraine's going to last for days but not as badly."

"Okay," he agreed.  "We'll deal with it however we can.  I need to tell the Joint Chief's."

Xander took the book and grinned.  "Let me, O'Neill."  He disappeared, going to DC.  "Hey, Dad?" he called once he was in the White House with the new president.  He grinned.  "Hi, Xander Harris.  God Protectorate of Humanity."

"I've been briefed on you, Xander.  Is there a problem?"

"Yup.  You'll need a few generals and I need Dad."  Loki appeared.  "You still have contacts who have to know."  Loki groaned and sat down.  The generals got brought in.  "Hey."

One growled.  "Harris."

Xander smiled.  "I'm doing O'Neill a favor so you can't bite him.  Some demons got hold of this prophecy, which we're considering slim."  He handed over the book.  "And moved Atlantis to Asgard."

His father stared at him.  "Excuse me?"

"It's on the Lake of Wails.  Odin and Thor both know.  Baldr's gathering creating and tinkering gods plus Diama to see if they can get it back sooner."

Loki took the book from the general whimpering in misery.  He read it.  "That can't happen here."

"They committed suicide to make sure the city couldn't interfere in the battle and could not get the holy site and shrine hurt," Xander said.  "John has a slight case of backlash.  I've told Hera and Mom."

Loki rubbed his forehead, looking at him.  He scanned where Atlantis had been then up on Asgard.  "Dear Lord Janus, you aren't joking," he muttered.

The president looked at him.  "You pray to Janus?"

Loki smirked slightly.  "We chaos gods all pray to each other when we need a boost of help.   The others generally don't like us."  He handed the book over to him as he looked at his son.  "So this is an announcement that their valued ancient city with futuristic weapons is on the wrong plane?"

"Which has a faster time zone," Xander said.

The generals looked at each other then at him.  "What?" one asked.

"Time runs faster up there," Loki said.  "Two weeks to one of your mortal days."  He was getting a migraine.  "Is it time for your powering outburst, son?"

"No, Dad.  I had not a thing to do with this.  This was a demonic plan."  He grinned.  "Though, Buffy's kids are up there helping.  They got your brother up there to help John too.  Which is why Odin showed up."

Loki kept rubbing, wincing some as the migraine started.  "How are we getting it back?"

"Baldr's working on it with the creating and tinkering sorts.  Get Stark up to that?"

"I think I shall then have a large drink."  He stood up.  "Let me tell my contacts so they know not to count on that if something should happen."  He disappeared.

Xander shrugged and grinned.  "He's in with the Blandenburg people.  Keeps him out of my hair or nagging for grandkids."  He smiled at the generals.  "I have no idea what you need to do.  O'Neill's sending up cold weather supplies tonight through me.  Sheppard's got a migraine from hell, partially from McKay yelling about being somewhere that is full of snow."  He took the book back with a grin at the president.  "We think it's unlikely.  At the same time, there's portents that're showing that a realm with a despot idiot in charge may have a refugee thing.  I'm going to work on stopping that later and my mate will tell his director."

"Please," the president agreed, nodding.  "Before we think it's a new invasion."

"They have things like kids being sacrificed for fun in his religion he's made," Xander said.  "I'm thinking, I'm a pretty decent warrior and I can overthrow people.  It'll probably be easier than the last one."

"Sure, please do," the president said with a smile.  Xander smirked back and disappeared.  He looked at the generals.  "Who has O'Neill's number?"  They pointed at the red phone so he called.  "O'Neill, I need updated information from up there."

"Sir, we have a personnel list, we're starting on an inventory list," Jack said, sounding tired.  "I was having conniptions about the city disappearing when I heard and then Xander showed up to tell me why, with his mate having asked how."

"We need a need list," the head general said.  "Today."

"Already working on it, sir, but needless to say it's all going to be cold gear.  Apparently Asgard is fairly snowy.  Which I'm sure McKay must love."

"Just get it to us and ignore the ranting for now.  If he gets it out of his system maybe he'll come up with some improbable machine to get them back sooner so he doesn't have to snowshoe anywhere," the president said.

"The Lake of Wails has a Nessie-like creature that likes to moan according to the email I just got," O'Neill said.  "So the mystical email system works again, sirs."

"Great," the president agreed.  "Give us an update at 0900 tomorrow, O'Neill."

"Yes, sir."  He hung up.

The president looked at his generals.  "If time runs faster do we have to adjust checks?"  They nodded they probably did.  "Do we tell their families?"  They shared a look then nodded, going to send people to do that while they talked about things.

The president found the bottles of mead Loki and his consort had left, pouring a large mug of some of the oldest.  It was a great thing to have on hand for an O'Neill-level headache.  He hadn't known why he had his own classification of headache before but now he was starting to realize.


Loki appeared with a smirk but his eyes looked pained.  "My son has said you need in on the tinkering conference about how to get Atlantis back home.  It's on Asgard so grab something warmer than a tank top?"

Dawn stormed in.  "Where are the twins?"

Loki looked at her.  "My son said they went to help the city acclimate to the Lake of Wails."  Dawn slumped, staring at him.  He nodded.  "He's to go to the planning meeting on how to get them back home."  He stared at her.  "Do you wish to go?"

"No."  She huffed.  "I'll send them stuff in a few days.  By then their clothes will be worn out and they'll have grown."  She rubbed her forehead.  "I'll help Xander get stuff up there."  She walked off mentally planning how to do things.  Natasha was wondering why she was planning this as they weren't moving up there.  She told her and Natasha stopped in the middle of a spar, getting hit by Steve.  She squeezed her eyes shut and shuddered.

Clint looked over, nodding.  "Yeah, me too.  Atlantis is on Asgard, guys."  Steve and Bruce both stared at him then moaned and shook their heads.

Tony grabbed a shirt and a jacket, letting Loki take him up there.  "Hey," he said as he was let free.  "How can I help?"

Hephaestus pointed at a chair.  "We're waiting on a few more to get here.  Any idea how this happened?"  Phil appeared with the book and a report.  Then he left.  "Okay," he said, reading it and passing it on.  The other creating Gods groaned.


Diama appeared in front of Rodney, looking around then at him.  "How?" she asked with a point.  "You're not a god."

"Demons," he said.  "Which does displease me in a way that usually means I blow things up."

Diama patted him on the hand, nodding.  "I would too.  Come, we'll vent at other Gods.  John?"

"Go ahead, Diama.  Take Radek too.  See if you can get Sam Carter?"  She hugged him and he grinned.  "Just a bit of backlash."

"You'll be okay."  She took her two favorite geeks and the one that she wanted to smack upside the head up there.  She sat down on the stool that was going to compensate for her smaller height.  "I brought my geeks."  She read the report, grimacing.  "Idiot poopy heads."  She handed it to Rodney.  "Ares said to quit swearing and so did Hera," she said at the looks she was getting.

"It is uncouth," Rodney agreed, reading it over then the prophecy.  "Is it going to happen?"

The older gods all shook their heads.  "Probably not," one of the Celtic creating gods said dryly.  "Unless they get shoved over here from their realm."  Rodney groaned.  "Where on Asgard are you?"

"The Lake of Wails according to Thor and Xander," Rodney said.  Radek sat down on Diama's other side.  "All I know is that suddenly there was a lot of snow and that it was colder than Canada ever was when I was there."

Diama patted him on the hand.  "You survived outpost.  Can do it again.  She's a pretty smart lady and she can make it warmer once we repair things."  She looked at a few of them.  "Need engineers to help him repair things.  They're on a magic world now."

"We need more ZPM but I'd never do that on an inhabited planet or realm," Rodney said.

"You can do it safely," Sam Carter said.

Diama looked at her then smacked her upside the head.  "People live there and ZPM's are dangerous.  Be a real scientist for a change instead of stupid bimbo weapon of destruction."   Sam sat down and slumped.  Diama looked up and prayed to Hera for strength.  She looked at the other gods.  "Things need to be built but for right now, not sure if should build village next to the lake to spare city or not."

"The twins and Sean were raised up there so they're helping us with the natives," Radek said.  "Plus getting a few of the Marines to hunt down some deer.  I know the creature we scanned and found is a bit friendly.  He showed up to nuzzle a few of the Marines.  He even quit wailing about it."

Hephaestus smiled.  "It's lonely."

"Maybe we can find some version of the Loch Ness Monster and set them up," Rodney said dryly, cracking a few up.  "Is there any hope of getting us home in a slightly scientific manner?"

"The only three ways off Asgard are climbing down the Tree of Life, using the Bifrost bridge, and having a powerful artifact to send you off," Thor said from his corner.  "The Tesseract isn't going to have enough power to get the city itself down.  We can move the people using the Bifrost but that would leave her up there."

"No, we promised not to abandon her unless we had to," Rodney said.  "Her AI was very lonely in the eons she was under water in Pegasus."

Thor nodded.  "That's kind of you and good of you both."  He looked at the creating gods.  "Is one a more likely method?"

"The Tree is dangerous.  If something's too big it can snap some support branches.  Then again, the Tree is huge," Baldr said.  "It might take years to fly her through that because you'd have to stop every once in a while as it grows to plot your route."  He shifted.  "To use the Bifrost to move the city, we'd have to create some sort of energy envelope so she'd fit on the bridge first and to make it so she could use it at all.  It's meant for humans, not mechanicals."

"What about those things like Dawn's chamber necklaces?" Tony offered.  "Not exactly but can we build something like that for the city to land itself in so it can be moved that way?"

"Chamber necklaces?" Hephaestus asked.  Diama grinned and created a picture of them.  She loved those things.  "I've seen them in theory."

"She has a few that she uses to store weapons for battles in," Tony said.  "It minimizes and hides the weapons in it so no one can tell."

They considered it.  "That would be the best way to get it down the Bifrost," Baldr agreed.  "Or else we'd have to build one specially for the city and it'll take years mortal time.  Probably about two years mortal time."

"One year per lunar month," Tony said, considering it.  "That's over two decades for the people up there."

"Such a container could be built within six months," one of the Celtic builders said.  "Putting the magic on it would take longer."

"What if we used an existing structure?" Radek offered.  "Something like a cargo shipping container put together?  Does it have to be metal or wood?"

"Wood would work better but metal isn't forbidden on the Bifrost.  What are cargo shipping containers?"  Tony sketched them.  "We could put a few together easily enough," Baldr said, looking at the gods who would have to do that.

"Aye," one of them said.  He was from Roque's people.  "They're not hard to expand.  Would the Key help us?"

"As long as it didn't endanger her, the child she just had, or her spouses," Tony said.

They blinked.  "Why would it matter to her spouses?" that god asked.

"They're linked like Xander and Phil are," Diama said with a smile.  "All telepathicy and stuff."  The gods shared a look then at her.  She nodded.

Tony nodded.  "According to the book I borrowed from Dawn to look it up, it's like the mortal version of what Phil and Xander have.  Soul-bound links with telepathic bonds between them."

The god from Roque's people nodded once.  "How did Phil and Xander do that?"

"Accident," Tony said.

"It figures.  If something like that could be done, we should've expected Xander to."  A few of the others laughed.  "So, we can take something that's already built and put the spells on it?"

"That should take six months at the most," Diama said.  "Probably?"  They nodded.  "Because that's like six years to the people on the city."

"We can move the people via the Bifrost, Diama," Baldr said.  "That way they don't have to stay for that if they have families or the like."  She smiled and nodded.

"The Stargate program has dealt with time dilation fields in the past," Rodney said.  "They're disturbing but we've seen worse.  We'll manage because we always do."  Diama beamed and patted him on the wrist.  He smiled back.  "We have to find a world to make ZPM on."

"Use the machines on Talamus."

"Where's that?" Radek asked.

She gave him a confused look.  "You don't know where that is?"  He shook his head.  "Huh.  Key?"  Dawn appeared, blinking at her.  "They don't know where Talamus is."

"It's presently closed," she told her.  "I can't open it myself, Diama, and they'd need to get one of the Guardians to open it for them.  Is there something there they need?  There's a Guardian in LA right now.   We were going this weekend to introduce Buffy's kids to her former friends."

"The filling machine is there," she said.

"Oh!"  She considered it.  "I'll have someone come with me."  Diama smiled and nodded.  "Let me get back there.  Pepper's having a fit on someone."

"Why?" Tony asked.

"Told her she was pregnant looking again, boss."  She disappeared.  She looked at Pepper.  "Tony's at the meeting with the other creating gods over Atlantis.  Diama just had a question and a request to take to someone in LA."

"Sure," Pepper agreed, staring at her.  "You went back in time again."

"They're slightly out of time."  She checked to make sure.  Nothing marked by Phil or Xander for her to handle.  The her in the outer room disappeared.  She shrugged.  "We're good."  Pepper smiled slightly.  "The kids are on Asgard though."

"You can get them this weekend."  Dawn nodded she could and went to make that schedule change through Faith.  Pepper groaned.  This was going to be nuts.


Xander concentrated and had Baldr and Phil show up to help him, with Dawn, Clint, and Natasha.  They got a long look.  "Need the kids for a few," Dawn said.  "We're going to LA tomorrow to talk to the Guardians."

"That's fine," Baldr agreed.  "It can only help us."  They got the three cargo containers of things up the Bifrost and then to the city once it was on the more magic centered areas.  Dawn smoothed out the ride while the gods basically gave it a shove up the bridge.   Baldr smiled.  "Going down will be easier."

Xander nodded.  "Will," he agreed, wiping off his forehead.  He looked at Phil, then at the trio.  "The kids are probably hunting."

"I can tell," Dawn said.  They found them and Clint got two of the deer they were stalking.  The Marines got the others.  The kids all glared. 

He smiled.  "C'mon, gotta hit LA for a few weeks."

"There's a time dilation field," one of the Marines said.

Xander nodded.  "Two weeks per earth day."  They all groaned.  "You're looking at about five or six months earth time until we can get you back."  They nodded, letting the gods help them get the deer home to be cleaned up and stored for food.  The entrails and other unneeded things got tossed down to their pet lake monster.  Everyone really liked the lake monster.  It was nice and it hummed at them.  So much nicer than the wraith or the genii on the alien life form scale.  Phil and Xander gave a report to the entire staff of what was going on, how it was going to be handled, and how to send material requests for things they needed.

Dawn got the kids together and took them with her.  Clint and Natasha would be staying to help for a few days.  They had some limited local experience.  Xander could help with Phil too.


Dawn opened the hotel room door at the knock, staring at the vampire.  "Enter, Spike.  You're named a godparent anyway."  She checked the hall then closed the door to smile at him.  "Guys, this is Spike.  I'm sure your mom talked about him.  She used to date him actually."

"A vampire?" Artemis asked.  "Wow, mom was kinky."  She was blushing hard but sure, her mom had been wild before she met their dad.

Spike stared.  "Damn.  Gotta keep the family off 'em."  He stared.  Sean was tall, strong looking, and handsome enough to make his porn habit happy with the thought of him in it.  The twins were gorgeous and too damn young to really turn.  In another year they'd be the perfect age.  Dawn swatted him hard on the head.  "Oy!"

"No turning the kids," she said with a smile.  "Do you really want to see Buffy come out of Valhalla to talk about that thought?"

"No," he admitted, shaking his head quickly.  "She is?"

"Making the stones sing with Hylal as his dick trophy again," Dawn said dryly.  She sat down, smiling at the fussing baby.  "Morning, Philip.  Are you awake again?"  She picked him up.  "And this one is mine all mine."

Spike stared, shaking his head.  "He's too pretty to be a boy."

"It's being a Summers and spending time on Asgard while you're pregnant," Dawn said with a grin.

"Then explain Sean," Diana teased her brother.  Who stuck his tongue out at her.

"He looks almost exactly like your father only he has your mother's natural hair color," Dawn said dryly.

Artemis giggled.  "Daddy Hylal used to say it was a fairy blessing on Sean because he was such a little chaos source."

"All kids are," Dawn assured her.  "Philip will be when he's walking."  They grinned at her for that.  She grinned at Spike.  "So, these are the kids Buffy gave you as godchildren."

He nodded.  "I need more weapons while you're local."

"Gotta see a Guardian tomorrow," she quipped.

"Hm."  He looked at them then at Dawn.  "You're going to make them nuns, right?"

She grinned.  "Self defense lessons.  Lots and lots of self defense lessons."  The kids laughed and nodded.  "They're going to be on and off Asgard for the next few months due to the stupid ones moving a holy city up there."

"Heard," Spike grunted, shaking his head quickly.  "Screwed so much locally."  She smiled.  He looked at them again.  "Can I have one to take Dru's place?"

"No, sorry."  She smiled.  "Mom would have your balls, Spike."

He nodded quickly.  "Yeah, probably."

"And if not, Grandpa Hulk would," Sean quipped.

"Definitely and he might enjoy it too," Spike shot back, earning a giggle.  "S'not fair to taunt me with the beauty and not let me have some."

Dawn smirked evilly.  "I'm told I'm an evil dick teasing sith anyway."

Spike nearly choked, but he was nodding.  "Yup," he managed to gasp out.  "Damn!"  Artemis patted him on the back until he could quit coughing.  He stared at them then at Dawn.  "Your sister?"

"Goblins with Hylal.  He got injured, she heroically fought to his side to hold him before he passed over and got stabbed.  It's actually part of an epic poem."

"There's more epic poems than there are prophecies on Asgard," Diana said.  "And some just about as good."  The others laughed.  "Theirs isn't bad but the bard who wrote it sucked."

"Well then write a better one," Dawn quipped.

"That is not a skill I have," she said.  "Or Sean or Artemis.  We're good with other things, but not words."

"You sound a lot like your mum," Spike said.  He got up to see who was knocking, because he needed to quit staring at them, letting in Faith, Gunn, and Connor.  "They're Buffy's kids."

Faith stared.  "Wow, last time I saw Sean he was about the tiny one's age."  She looked at him.  "Who're you?"

"My son," Dawn said.  "Philip Ivar, this is your Auntie Faith, Uncles Gunn, Connor, and Spike."

Gunn smiled and waved at the baby.  "You're damn tiny and the city's in hell today."

"They did it to themselves," Dawn quipped.  "Guys, this is Artemis and Diana, and Sean," she said with a point.  "Faith is the slayer that served with your mom, guys.  Gunn and Connor do the local area."

"Hi," Artemis said with a shy grin and a wave at Faith.

She smiled.  "Buffy knocked it outta the park with you three."  She looked at each of them.  "Self defense?"

"Lots and lots," Diana said dryly with a grin.  "Because some people can't count."

"And the rest are icky and offer things like *modeling*," Artemis complained.  "Eww.  Wearing bras for regular wear sucks enough.  Doing it to have pictures taken in them is *so* much worse."

"It is," her sister agreed.  "Or the hoochy mama clothes as Auntie Pepper called 'em on the runways."

Faith sat down with a smile for the girls.  "Could be, yeah.  That and you're not that skinny."  She looked at Sean.  "Though you're about old enough to be a pinup."

He shook his head.  "I'm only fifteen!  No women!  Please no women!"

"Some geeks have decided to go Sean hunting until I showed up with a sword," Dawn told them.  The guys all cracked up.  "Seriously!"

"She has sex plants and kept trying to make me feed them," Sean complained, grimacing.  "Plus she made me watch pageant stuff with kids.  Auntie Dawn nearly took her head off for me."  He grinned.  "She hides now but she still likes to pop out to talk to me."

"We'll stab her for you, Sean," Diana and Artemis said in unison.  He grinned at that offer.

"They're going to be on and off Asgard for a while."

Faith nodded.  "That's cool.  We heard what happened and had a long cackle about it."  Philip made grunting noises.  "What's wrong with him?"

"He's hungry."

"We can bottle feed him," Artemis said with a smile and a reach for the baby.

"I haven't expressed," Dawn said.  "He has to do it the natural way."  She pouted. "Sorry!"  She smiled at them.  "Get to know your mom's almost relatives.  It'll take me a few minutes, guys."  They nodded and she went to the bedroom.

Artemis sighed.  "Some year I want a few of those."

Diana shook her head.  "You can have all mine too."

Sean grinned.  "I'm just glad that the mpreg machines were finally fully broken before someone got ideas about me having some."  The girls both swatted him.

"Heard about those," Gunn admitted, blushing some.  "Damn kinky of the Ancients."

Diana shrugged.  "Uncle John said to them it was like eating breakfast, something that you did mechanically because it was necessary."

"Which means they forgot why they live," Connor said, sitting down.  "How old are you two?"

"Fourteen," the girls said with a grin.  "We were mostly raised on Asgard."

"I was raised on a demon plane.  I know how that goes," Connor said.  "It's confusing when you come back here.  We didn't have cars or computers or automatic weapons."

"We had bows and swords," Diana told him with a grin.  "We're pretty good with both and Uncle Clint's refining our bow work." 

Connor smiled.  "I had clubs and a few crossbows."  They settled in to talk about weapons.

Faith smiled at Sean.  "You like weapons?"

"I love learning weapons but they're still trying to make me a warrior geek."  She grinned.  "I'm training with Ronon on the city."

"That's good, kiddo."  Dawn came out.  "Missed a step," she said.

Dawn looked at herself then went to change shirts since that one had milk on it.  She came out shaking her head.  "Sorry, sprung a leak."  She sat down and smiled at Gunn.  "We got told why they did it."

"I heard.  We laughed so hard," Gunn admitted.  She handed over something.  He read it and winced.  "From...."

"Xander."  She grinned.


"He's working on it.  He'll be local for a bit."

"Maybe it'll calm some people down," he decided, handing it to Faith.  Who groaned.  "How's things in New York?"

"Good.  Things are usually good.  The baby's healthy.  I still adore my job.  My husband thinks I'm a dick teasing sith."  She grinned a bit evilly.  They cackled back.  "My wife keeps wanting more weapons sometimes."  Faith cackled and nodded.  "I had to get them t-shirts with their ages on them so people would quit getting so grabby."

"Might be a good idea to have extra weapons," Faith said, looking at them.  They all blushed.  She grinned back.  "We'll make sure you're all protected while you're here and you don't have your aunt's luck."

"Please," Dawn agreed.  The others groaned but it'd be okay and they were like extended family in a lot of ways.


Dawn walked up to the Guardian who was in the kitten poker hall.  "Guardian, may I have a moment?"

He looked at her, blinking a few times.  "Key?"

She smiled.  "That too.  Also known as Dawn Summers-Romanoff-Barton."

He moaned.  "I've seen that.  What's wrong?"  He went back to his hand of kitten poker.

"I'm here to ask you for Dr. McKay on Diama's request."  He put down his cards and walked her off.  "She wanted them go to Talamus?  Something about the ZPM machines there?  They'll need them to keep heat on Atlantis while it's on Asgard."

"I heard."

She smiled.  "Buffy's kids are helping since they're almost native up there."

He groaned.  "I've seen them too.  Damn!"

Dawn smirked.  "Kinda."

"So they need the machines?"

"They'd like to see more but they need the ZPM making stuff.  However that works.  I help herd geeks and fuss over them, I'm not one of them."

"Good.  You'd be scary like that."

"I'm scary for other reasons."

"Yeah, I can see that."  She held up a page from her journal.  He read it and looked at her.  "That was you?"

"They pissed me off by trying to take me again."

"Wow."  He stared at her.  "Huh.  They want to open an investigation on that, you know that right?"

"Yup, and I know that they still tried to take my beautiful ass so I fought back.  I already talked to that judge."

"Good idea."  He scratched his horn.  "I can see if the others will allow them to.  What does Diama have to do with it?"

"Rodney and his second-in-command Radek are two of her high priests without being anointed.  She *adores* Atlantis."

The demon scrunched his nose up.  "I was hoping you were talking about the singer in the demon networks."  Dawn shook her head with a grin.  "Crap!"

"Yup.  Which is why they sent me to ask since I was out here anyway.  Had to introduce Spike and the team out here to Buffy's kids."

"Huh."  He nodded.  "I'll talk to them tonight."

"We'll be going home tomorrow morning but I'm in New York."  She handed over her card with a grin.  "Let me know?"

"I can do that."  She walked off.  "You might want to talk to the other judges."

"I planned on it later."  She smirked and drove herself to their building, walking inside.  She went into the hearing room and stared at the gathered judges.  "Did you expect me not to protect myself?"

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Dawn Summers."

"Sister of the Slayer Buffy," one said.  She nodded.  "Why do you come before us?"

"You wanted to talk about some people I destroyed for trying to kidnap me when I was fifteen."

The third judge looked at the others.  "I already know but had not spread that knowledge.  Do you have proof they wanted you?"

She took off her necklace and opened the chamber, pulling out two things and putting them on the table.  She closed her necklace and changed them back from crystal eggs to demons.  "You tell them why you wanted me."

"She's the Key and we were going to sacrifice her to bring back our Saint!" one said, rushing at her.  Dawn backhanded him and stepped on his throat until he passed out.

The other cowered and looked at the judges.  "Save us?" he begged.

"Then you shouldn't have taken me," Dawn quipped.  "I have the right of self defense."

"You do," the third judge agreed.  "Can you let him up?"  Dawn got off that demon.  They talked and looked at her.  "Technically, being the Key is a death sentence in demon courts," he told her.

Dawn smiled.  "Watch me decreate the demon courts.  I have no war with you.  I want no war with you.  I'm living a human life as a normal witch with a new son."  They groaned.  "And raising my sister's orphaned kids.  That death sentence was started by one of the monks that wanted to kill me so I couldn't fall into Glory's hands.  Which I didn't.  Or at the battle in Sunnydale."  They all jumped.  She smiled.  "Yeah, was me in the chainmail."

"Which grants you a boon from the courts, including having that death sentence removed."

"On what grounds did you grant it?" Dawn asked.

"You're dangerous," one said.

"If you make me be, yes.  Anyone can say that though.  If you leave me alone I have no quarrel with any of you."  They stared.  She smiled.  "I've never had a quarrel with any of you.  I've played kitten poker for years.  I've shopped in demon stores.  I helped my sister eliminate some of the bad ones, and then my boss later on.  I've never had a quarrel with the majority of demon kind.  Nor will I unless you make me have one."

They talked about it and nodded.  "It was odd that a human used us that way.  The death sentence is removed and we should banish you from the demon areas."

Dawn smirked.  "Then a few should probably pay me what they owe me."  She gave one demon in the group watching a pointed look. "My spouse wants something new to play with."

"I don't owe you that much."

"Unless you pay me before next week, yes.  After next week, the value goes up."  The crowd groaned.  "I made a chart, yes."  She looked at them and smiled again.  "I'm using it for my one gambling debt.  I lost a single hand and he changed the currency on the table on purpose."

"They do that," one of the judges said smugly.

Dawn nodded.  "Then again, I'm the only one who can make the potion that would make their people randomly fertile."  The entire audience gasped and moaned.  "I might offer that instead."

The judges laughed.  "Fine, we remove all obligations from you over this incident and any other time you've had to truly defend yourself."

"Which was about weekly there for a bit," she reminded him.  They nodded they knew.  "Thanks."  She smiled and turned, finding that one there.  "I can pay you what you cheated to try to win, or I can pay you with the potion."

He stared at her.  "That potion is dangerous."

"I'm a dangerous woman when I need to be.  Though it did amuse Phil and Tara a lot."

He considered it.  "It'd have to be checked."  Dawn pulled it out to let him sniff it.  It sent him into heat.  "That is it.  I will take that instead, human."

She patted him on the arm.  "Summers, not human.  I have a name."

He blinked.  "Related to the slayer?"  Dawn smiled and nodded.  He wailed.  "No!  That means you're *her*!"

"Usually," she said dryly.  "Prophecy, new wanter?"

"You must have children!  It will keep you from destroying everyone."

She pulled out a picture.  "You mean like my son?  Or like my sister's children I'm raising?" she asked, showing that picture.

"Thank the Dark Goddess," he sighed.  He took the potion and disappeared to spread that.  Cheating the humans in the poker circuit was always risky and he had just been reminded of that.

Dawn smirked at the judges, who were shuddering.  She pulled out the larger bottles and put the jugs from water coolers on their table.  "For them."  She strolled out.  Someone came at her with a knife so she kicked him back and snapped his knife-hand off.  She looked at the knife then tossed it into a plant, which withered and died.  "I create better poisons than that, dude. Thanks anyway for the sample offer."  She smiled and walked off.  The demon sobbed on the floor because he had failed.  She'd find out who he had been later.

The judges got him brought in since they had witnessed the attack.  They'd warn the human Key later.  Probably.


Dawn brought the kids back to Atlantis with the help of Phil.  She stared at them.  "I'll be back up this weekend, earth time.  So every six days expect to be kidnaped unless there's a problem."

Sean nodded, hugging Ronon then John.  "Sure, Auntie.  It'll let us bring home letters and things."

"The mystical email system is working," John said with a grin.  "We can probably do it mostly by ourselves, Dawn.  I've been up here plenty of times."

"We need our adulthood hunts anyway," Artemis said quietly.  Diana hugged Dawn then ran off to talk to Teyla since she had spotted her.  The others left them alone.  "Auntie, I...."  She huffed.  "I don't feel comfortable on earth.  There's all sorts of things I don't understand and most of the time I don't want to.  I love Diana and she loves it down there but...."

Dawn hugged her.  "We'll work it out.  You know that."

Artemis swallowed and nodded.  "Maybe if I find a spouse who travels back and forth like Father used to."

Dawn kissed her on the cheek.  "We'll handle it."  Artemis smiled.  "Now, for the next about three months local time....  Behave.  Don't do anything that John would have to tell me about."  She nodded.  "Email if you need something like you hit a growth spurt or you're out of tampons."

"I can do that," she said with a shy grin.  She looked around.  "I need to work on a few things anyway to be worthy of a real warrior."

"You should just to keep the boys off your ass."

Artemis smiled.  "I'll go to my marriage bed a virgin."

"Sweetie, there's ways around that," she said dryly.  "We'll talk about that stuff when I pick you three up in six days earth time."  They nodded.  She smiled at Clint and Natasha since they were waiting.  "Hi."

"Hi," Clint said, grinning some.  "We had a lot of fun setting up trade missions and the bilgesnipe are *ugly*."

She smiled.  "They are from what I've heard."  She took kisses.  "Behave, be good girls and boy," she told Artemis.

"Yes, Auntie."  She spotted Thor and blushed, ducking her head.

"We'll get you real weapons the next time," Dawn assured her.  She looked at Thor.  "Tell me if the kids have problems, Thor?"

"Of course.  They'll be fine.  They're used to being up here."  He walked off with Sean and Ronon.  Artemis looked around then slunk off after them, her cheeks hotly pink.

Natasha smiled.  "Young love is adorable," she said quietly.

"It is, yeah."  Dawn took them home and Clint stretched up then out before grabbing her to kiss.  "Hi to you too," she said, smiling at him.

"The baby?"

"Gumming on Chris until I pick him up in the morning.  Beya's having fun with him."  She took another kiss.  "Though we should pick him up."

"We should," Clint agreed.  Natasha laughed but left to get the baby.  "I guess that means I get to make good on our coin flip.  Nat's on the rag," he said in her ear, making her moan.  "So that means it's just you and me tonight, Dawn."

She kissed him.  "I could like that."  Someone rang the bell for the elevator and they groaned.  They went down together.  Dawn looked at the demon.  "I already paid off the single debt I owed," she said bluntly.

The demon nodded.  "They wish to pay you for the rest, Summers."  He handed over an envelope.  "The value of our money has went up but that is precious."

"It's just a sludged up twinkie and some herbs," she said.  "Mixed with ginger ale."  The demon groaned.  She looked in there.  It was ridiculously lowball.  "This is in which currency?"

"Our local one.  Which went up today," he sighed.  "If you had been local."

"I've been around."  He slumped but nodded.  She considered it.  "What's the exchange rate today?"

"I have no idea."

Dawn called the local demon bank to ask them.  She hung up.  "I'd end up owing you guys about a grand.  No, sorry.  I'll draw up a new one tomorrow for that."  He nodded and left.  She looked at Clint.  "I made them their version of viagra."

"Huh."  He took her upstairs.  "It has twinkies in it?"

"Yeah.  No idea why."

He smiled.  "Get naked.  You had a poker debt?"

"Yeah.  He changed the currency on the table too."  Clint stared at her.  "I haven't played since.  It's been six months."

"Fine.  Get naked?"

"I can do that."  She slowly stripped off for him.  "We have to go through those storage areas anyway."

"We can do that tomorrow since you'll need to be in my lap."  He watched her skin appear, touching one bruise.  "From?"

"I accidentally walked in on a vampire chewing a hole so he could fuck it," she said.  "He attacked so I staked him.  The girl was sobbing but I got her to the ER with the locals.  They wanted to know how I knew what to do so I told them I had worked with a slayer now and then."  She shrugged.  "He kicked me."

Clint stroked over it.  "That's a good reason.  The girl okay?"

"Traumatized.  I'd expect that though."  She shrugged and took off her panties, standing there naked in front of him.  "Your turn?" she asked, moving closer to kiss him.

He grinned, pulling off his shirts and then dropping his pants.  "Sean's right.  Underwear's inconvenient when you don't have access to a washer and dryer."  Dawn smiled and ran her palm over his cock, making him moan.  "Won't save you from an epic ride that will make you beg for mercy."

She smiled.  "It had better not."  Natasha came back up with the baby.  "The demon still hanging around?"

"No, I sent him off.  He was moaning to someone on his cellphone.  What did you make?"

"Their viagra."

"It has twinkies in it," Clint told her.

"At least there is some use for them beyond Xander's enjoyment of them," she said dryly.  "See, it's the mother and father, Philip.  You can quit fussing at me for not being either."  Philip whined so she turned him back around to look at him.  "Did you need something?"  He snuggled into her shoulder and sucked his thumb.  She smiled.  "Fine, you're comfortable."

"I think his carrier's getting a bit small," Dawn said.  She took a kiss with a grin.  "Do I have Clint all to myself?"

"Unfortunately so.  The baby and I will bathe and then I will come watch when he has you so hot you are begging for relief."  She took a better kiss, taking the baby to the bathroom with her.  He loved his baths.  He squealed and kicked and smiled about them.  She liked to soak so it'd be good.

Dawn looked at Clint.  "I have to beg for relief?"

"Or mercy, whichever you like."  He took another kiss.  "Though, I'm not really in the mood for mercy."  He pulled her against his chest.  "My arrow, your target, some land grabbing invasion tactics...."  She giggled and nipped his lip then strolled toward the bedroom.  "That's pretty.  Spread out for me, Dawn.  Daddy's home."

She smiled.  "Daddy needs to hurry up then before I do it myself."  She licked a finger and ran it over her throat.  Clint smirked and pounced, taking her to the bed to invade her until she begged for NATO intervention and mercy.  By then, Natasha and the baby were asleep in the tub together and no one was going to save Dawn.


Tony watched as Dawn limped in the next morning.  "You have a wilder life than I've ever had," he complained.  She hugged him and fell asleep on him.  He looked at her.  "Pepper, Dawn walked up and hugged me then napped on me like the kids."  He looked at her stomach.  "Hi, Philip."  The baby cooed and gummed his fingers.  "Pepper?"  She came out to pull Dawn off him.  "I have no idea what they did."

Natasha and Clint came off the elevator.  "I will take the baby," Natasha said.

Clint grinned at Tony.  "We played war games last night."

"War games?"

"He likes to be an invading army," Natasha said dryly but smirking at Clint's back.  "Unfortunately Dawn has not slept yet."  Tony whimpered, walking off shaking his head.

Pepper was smiling.  "Invasion scenarios can be fun, especially if you capture the princess for interrogation."

Clint smirked at her.  "Exactly.  Sorry, Pepper.   Forgot she had to work today."

"She doesn't have to until tomorrow.  She took today off in case it ran long last night on Asgard."  Clint beamed and carried Dawn off.  "Use one of the suites, before some nosy reporter catches you carrying her, Clint."

"Yup, I can do that."

Natasha sighed, shaking her head.  "I cannot help them at this time."

"Yeah, I had that feeling the other night when Tony cackled like he had went evil and pounced."  She patted her on the arm.  "Have fun with them."

Natasha smirked.  "There are many fun things to do with them.  Though Philip and I had a long soak last night.  He enjoyed it immensely."  She walked off talking to him.  "Let me get us breakfast.  I know neither of your other parents have eaten yet."  He squealed and kicked her a few times, beaming at her.  She smiled back.  "It's good you like breakfast."  She went into the cafeteria.  The worker in there stared at Philip then at her.  "Dawn did not sleep last night."

"I had a few nights like that with my husband.  She's got two, I'd expect more of them."  She gave her a pointed look.  "Breakfast or lunch, Agent Romanoff?"

"Breakfast please."  She got her three trays to go and let her pay for it with Dawn's ID card before leaving.

Steve and Bucky had been at a corner table.  Bucky shook his head.  "I never would've expected her to be maternal."

Steve grinned.  "She's a great second mother to Philip.  All the kids like her because she's calm.  She talks to them when they fuss instead of fussing back or panicking like Tony used to."  He sipped his juice then dug into his eggs.  "They're a good trio.  They're happy, have very few fights, and they can back each other up when necessary."

"That's good.  It's good she's got them in her life and she's happy."  He dug into his own eggs.  He heard crying and looked up then at Steve, who was wiping his mouth.  "Why are we all hearing it?"

"He's directing it at the table.  Not everyone else can."  He grinned.  "Let me go sooth that melt down if Tony isn't.  Meet you in a few, Bucky."

"Sure, Steve."  He finished breakfast, letting him go calm down the little genius.

Steve walked off the elevator and picked her up to look at her.  "What's wrong, Callia?"

"I can't do this!" she shouted.  "It's wrong and I can't correct things and I can't spell and it's just *wrong*!  We have computers to make up for this wrongness!"

He blinked a few times.  "People have handwritten things for centuries. It's not wrong.  You started out writing."

"Then I learned how to type and it's the bestest ever!"  She kicked and wiggled until he put her down.  "You're mean and you're torturing me!  I hate you!"  She ran off.

He sighed, watching her go.  The cats and dog were all staring at him.  He shrugged.  "She's just frustrated.  Go comfort her, guys."  A few of the cats and the dog ran to comfort their human.  He sat down, waiting on her to calm down.  Tony came off the elevator.  "She had a moment."

"I heard.  I was in the bathroom or I would've been up here sooner.  What was she talking about?"

"She complained she's falling behind on her homework because she couldn't use her computers.  I pointed out she could hand write things like reports."

"Ah."  He went to talk to her.  She was curled up in a corner with the cats helping her calm down.  He sat down across from her, letting her sniffle and hug him.  "I know it's frustrating."

"It's wrong."

"I hand write a lot of stuff."  She looked at him.  "Everyone does."

"No you don't.  You write it on the screen."

He considered that.  "Maybe."  He stared at her.  "Tell me exactly what the problem was this morning that made you flip out?"

She summoned her report and handed it to him.  "It's all messed up and it won't come out right.  I can't think like this, Daddy!"

He read it over.  "What would you do if your report was going wrong before?"

"I'd change paragraphs around by dragging and dropping them in new places so I didn't have to rewrite most of it then make them make sense there.  Then I'd add in more stuff."  She sniffled, hugging the Dawn kitty.

"What you're doing right now is called a draft.  It's like a prototype of your paper," he said calmly.  "Then you use it to fix what's wrong and reorganize.  Sometimes you do a few drafts."  She whimpered.  He smiled.  "You do it when you're on the computer but you don't do more than save it before you fix it.  Handwriting them means that you have do some copying and pasting the old fashioned way."

"It's wrong and should be abolished."

"Uh-huh," he said dryly, staring at her.  "Most kids have to do their papers this way because they don't always have computers or tablets to do papers on."

"We should donate."

"We do to the schools.  They still don't have them at home."  She slumped down more, curling around her cats.  He patted her on the foot.  "You have to learn this lesson because it's important but you're also being punished and punishment shouldn't be fun.  When I was in school, we didn't have computers to type papers on.  All of them were by typewriter.  Which meant the same amount of work."

"They had computers back then."

"They took up rooms the size of the kitchen.  They weren't for papers.  They were for math things and NASA things.  Not for papers.  I typed six drafts of my first dissertation.  It went from over four hundred pages to about eighty."  She whimpered and curled up in a tinier ball.  The cats all tried to calm her down.  He smiled slightly.  "You're incredibly privileged and a bit spoiled by all the computer access you do get, daughter.  You've taken that for granted."

"I'm not a brat," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

"No, you're not.  Who told you that you were?"


"I'll yell at him later.  Today, you will do the next draft of this paper and the others you have waiting.  You're going to apologize to Steve because you were really unfair to him just now."  She pulled the cats closer as a shield.  "Then you'll finish up the rest of the homework you've been avoiding."

"Can I at least have my laptop back for that?" she begged.  "I won't get online or anything, Daddy."

"You can type your final version of your report. You're going to handwrite the rest."  She let out another tiny whimper.  "If you asked Steve, he'd teach you how to organize them better.  He did good at that where I always sucked and slapped things together then moved them around."  He stared at her.  "There's ways of organizing things so you don't have to do as many rewrites."  She uncurled a bit.  "Now, go apologize and ask him to teach you that."  She stared at him.  "I mean it."

"Can't I not?"

"No.  You're going to learn how to do it better than I ever did."

She looked at the cats, smiling when Clint lapped her nose.  "Thank you, Clint kitty," she said quietly.

Tony stood up.  "You have seven papers due by the end of the month.  You know that, right?"  She winced.  "Yeah, so you'd probably better do that today and learn that secret today."  She wiggled her way free and went to apologize to Steve after climbing in his lap to hug him.   She asked what her father was talking about.  Tony put down some treats for the cats and went out.  "That organizing thing you're supposed to do as a first draft, Steve."

"You never did paper outlines?" he asked.

"No, I slapped things together and then shifted them to fit me."

"Huh.  And you got how many degrees?"

"I usually had to cut down papers to human levels," he said dryly.  "Once she had a good prototype draft, she can use her laptop to type them."

"Okay."  He sat her on her feet and leaned over to grab some paper and a pencil.  "The first draft of any paper should be an outline.  That's like a framework.  It lays out how you do things, in what order they're going in the paper, how many rebuttals or arguments you have."  She stared at him.  "Like for a history paper, since I know you have one due.  You start here with your heading.  Your topic.  Then you indent and you move to your main thesis point, what your paper's about."  She nodded slowly.  "List your information blocks."  He did that as 'information block one' and 'items inside information block 1' then moved on.  "Then you have a closing."  He handed it to her.  "That's called an outline."

She stared at it.  "So this is what I'm writing about," she said with a point.  "My paragraphs and what they contain?"  He nodded.  "What if I want to shift it?"

"Then shift your outline."  He stared at her.  "Remember when we did the concrete planter and we made a form for it to pour the concrete into?"  She nodded.  "That's the form for a paper."

"Oh."  She stared at it.  She worked on her history paper since that's what they were using as an example.  "Like that?"

He looked it over.  "That should probably be here," he said with a new point.  "So what you do, since this is a draft, you draw an arrow to remind yourself."  He did that.  "The same as this goes under Napoleon since he did it, not Caesar."

She looked it over and did that then looked at him.  He nodded.  She huffed.  "That's so much easier!  Why didn't anyone tell me this?"

"Apparently your dad never used the easy way."

"No, probably not."  She stood up.  "I'm sorry."

"I know you were just frustrated."  He hugged her.  "You have seven papers.  Do outlines on them, bring them to us to check over, then work on your first draft, which will be you writing out the paper based on the outline."  She nodded and went to find her books to do that.  He got up.  "We're going to be sparring.  Bring them to us."

"Yes, Stepmommy Steve."  He smiled and went to the sparring area.  She huffed and looked at her pets.  "Handwriting papers still sucks."  They let her pet them and then helped her write her outlines.  That was easier and it'd mean less redoing things.  Her papers were messes of crossed out things and arrows moving things.  She saw now she was trying to do this outline thingy but had been writing it fully.


Dawn and Clint came in after lunch with Callia following them, and all the cats and the dog.  Bucky blinked.  "You have cats and a dog?"

"And a rabbit named Carrot," she said with a grin for him.  "Stepmommy?"  He looked down.  "Like this?"

He looked them over, taking her pencil to correct a few things, like spelling because she was horrible at it, and rearrange things.  "That should be your topic paragraph, not an argument one."

"That screws up the whole thing," she whined.

He stared down at her.  "Really?"  She slumped, taking it back.  "If you use that as your topic, then that covers that argument and the others."  She nodded, moving to the corner to go over it again.  Bruce got her some paper to work on.  "Now, write out the full thing to see how it flows."  She let out a tiny whimper.  "If it's in a good format, you can type it.  Your dad said so."

"This writing stuff still sucks," she muttered.

He looked at her.  "And you're doing another spelling section because you need it."

"I already am but that's on the computer."

"We can make you flash cards and work up spelling tests," Clint said.  "That's how we did it, Callia."

Dawn nodded.  "Sunnydale was still doing it that way when it collapsed a few years ago."

"It was probably because of the retarded demons," she complained.

"Mouth," Dawn ordered.

Callia grimaced.  "Fine."

"Thank you."  She kissed her on the head.  "Some day you'll grow out of all this and turn into me and Pepper."

She looked at him.  "I'm Daddy's clone, not yours, Auntie Dawn."

She grinned.  "I meant mouthy, not on the job stuff."

"Oh."  She nodded.  "Probably."  She looked.  "Oops, gotta take the Xander dog out."  She hopped up and took him to the elevator so they could go down to the outside area.  One of the guards got summoned by JARVIS, and brought her his leash.

"Stepmom?" Bucky asked Steve with a grin.

Steve smiled back.  "When we first got together, she had to figure out that whole new relationship thing and she knew what a stepmom was."

"Awww."  Steve swatted him.

Callia came back with the dog.  "Daddy, my doggy has the runs really badly."

"Your aunt knows where the vet is.  You two can take him together later."

"Okay."  She looked at her aunt.  "Why do I have to do so much homework?"

"Because it makes you smart enough to run the company some day."

"Can't I just be a bimbo?"

"No.  Sorry.  You need to have more intelligence than your bra cup size.  Your brains are more than your butt can push out.  Therefore you have to do homework."

"But it's *hard*!" she complained.

"Well, duh," she said, staring down at her.  "If it wasn't it wouldn't make you smarter."

"You're mean today."

She smiled.  "Yup, because I'm not a bimbo and I did very good in school, which was very hard.  Unless you're going to end up one of those sluts on E! you have homework you said you'd get done by the end of the month."  She heard Bucky ask Steve if she was always that hard on the baby.  She looked over.  "Yup.  Because she's having a whiny day.  Her dad has those when the machines hate him."  She looked down at her.  "What makes you think doing things the easy way is going to help you?"

"Real people don't need to do this," she said.

Dawn laughed.  "Bullshit."  Callia whined.  "I did that many papers a *week* in high school, Callia.  And mine wasn't all that academically tough.  We had future strippers going there.  They could do it and you know most of them don't need to know anything about computers beyond how to do their email."

She bit her lip.  "I wanted to go to the park and there's going to be rain all week."

"Then let's negotiate."

"What's that?"

"That's where you make a bargain."  She squatted down to look at her.  "It's how you make trades to get what you want while giving someone else what they want.  It's the basics of any contract or agreement."

"Do real people need to do that?"

"Yup, every day.  You haggle sometimes for food, you negotiate over your apartment when you get one.  You do it all sorts of ways.  Even hypothetically when you're swearing at traffic and promise the Goddess you'll do better with your temper if she'd just clear up the traffic so you can get wherever you're going."

Callia bit her lip then let it go.  "So I can trade off today's park time for later homework?"

"You'd have to give us more than that since they're due in like three weeks.  You made a promise to do those classes in that amount of time.  Which is an agreement and a negotiation."

"Oh!"  She blinked.  "I suck at it then."

"You can't suck at something you're still learning," Clint said.

Callia considered it.  "I'll get time in the park today for all my papers being done on time?"  Dawn shook her head.  "But...."

Dawn held up a hand.  "You have to get it in on time.  That's what a deadline means.  And in education, a deadline usually means failing."

"I don't want that," she huffed.  "But it's pretty today."

"Yeah, it is.  It'll be pretty next week too.  So what're you going to give me in exchange for a day off in the park?"

She considered it.  "There's that shelter thingy that Tara's going to.  I can go with her.  It's handing out things like clothes and toys, right?"

"Yes, although you know that means you don't get any of them, right?"

She nodded.  "And I can pull out the donation fund from my allowance to add to it."

Dawn nodded, looking at Tony, who nodded.  "That's a good agreement.  How much is your donation fund?"

"JARVIS?" she asked.

"You should always know how much is in your accounts," Tony said dryly.

"I believe she has almost a thousand dollars in her piggy bank and she set aside a third of it for donations, sir," the AI said.

"Then you have to donate one hundred dollars," Dawn said.  "And go with your Aunt Tara to that charity hand-out.  In return, you get to spend today in the park until dinner time.  Then you're to come back and do your homework after dinner until bedtime, outside the time that you need to spend taking care of your animals."

Callia nodded. "I can do that."

"I'd like her to type up that one report that she's got done so she doesn't have so much hanging," Tony said, looking at her.  "Which should take you less than an hour."

She blinked.  "I ...."  She looked at Dawn.

"That would be a three-party agreement instead of a two-party agreement."

She nodded.  "I can do that.  My history one?"

"The one that Steve said you got a good draft on.  Type it from that, Callia."

"I can do that."  She went to her corner and pulled up a virtual keyboard, typing her best.

Bucky blinked.  "Wow she's fast."

Dawn stood up.  "She's doing middle school level work," she said quietly.  "She's also having an emo day.  Pushing her a bit means that she learns new things and breaks her out of her pouty mood."

"I get that.  Why is she doing that high?"

"She takes three classes at a time and goes through them mostly at her pace.  This time we introduced a deadline to it.  Mostly because they have to be in to the school board by then for this semester."

"I can understand that."  She finished up, ran the spell and grammar checker.  "Grammar checkers often make mistakes," he told her.  "You should be able to proofread.  Steve could."

"You knew Stepmommy when he was little and in school?" Callia asked him.

He nodded.  "I grew up with the little guy.  He never gave up any sort of fight, even if it was hard."

She looked at Steve then at her father.  "I'll get there some day I guess.  Sometimes I overestimate how hard something is."

"So did he.  He got into a lot of fights that way."

"Now that's called assault," she said bluntly.  "And it's always wrong."  She finished checking it over and printed it, presenting it to her father.  He read it over, taking her pencil to circle a few things.  She whined.  He gave her a pointed look.  She fixed the mistakes and handed it over.  He nodded.  "Can you come to the park with me?"

"I can do that.  I negotiated my schedule clear for the last two days," he quipped with a grin at Dawn.

"She needed to learn how to do it anyway.  The Pentagon geeks wanted her at the next meeting, boss."

He shook his head.  "She's not ready to meet the asshole patrol yet."  He walked her out.  "Want your bike, your roller blades, or just playground time?"

She blinked up at him.  "Can we just put them in the car and I switch when I want to?"

"No.  Not if we're not taking a Security SUV.  Though we might have to if you want your bike."

"I'll bring my roller blades for after the park and you bring yours?"

"We can do that."  They left together.

Dawn grinned at Steve, who smiled back.  "How are we going to start doing the college level work that she's doing in a few classes?"

"More like this."  He shrugged.  "She'll eventually quit thinking things are hard and consider them challenging instead.  I had a few of those until my mother reminded me what a good education did for boys."  He got up.  "Change, Summers.  It's your day.  You called off last time."

"Yup."  She went to change and came out in her unitard.  She popped her neck and stretched a bit.  "Who'm I beating up this time?"

"Me and Bucky against you three," Steve said, looking at Bucky.

"Sure, why not."  He got down to his undershirt.  Natasha and Clint didn't change but Clint stretched a bit.  "Sore?" he asked.

He grinned.  "Tiny bit.  Did some pushups late last night."  Dawn blushed.  "But they were good for me."

"Yes they were," Dawn quipped back.  She looked at her mates, who nodded at her strategy.  Bucky would expect Natasha to be good, Clint to be pretty good, and didn't know her yet.  They looked Steve.  "Whenever you two are ready."  Bucky lunged at her and she kicked him then flipped out of the way and let Natasha move past her to get Steve.  Clint got the edges to help them both while Dawn ...  She showed her ass a bit.  Bucky yelped the first time he hit the mat but he learned.  He didn't underestimate her again.

"She had to teach you that," he moaned when she used Natasha's flip to get him back down a few minutes later.  "Ow."

Dawn grinned.  "We pretty, efficient, wanted things have to be able to handle ourselves.  Tired and giving in yet?"

"Nope."  He got up and rushed at Clint, who blocked his blow and fought him off.  Dawn got Steve in the back and made him stumble, which gave Natasha an edge.  Then she timed it and kicked at where Bucky should be, getting him mostly and a bit of Clint's knee but he used it and Dawn ganged up on him.  Bucky wasn't holding back and he was sweating.  So were they.  Bucky eventually fell and moaned.  He looked up at them, shaking his head at them kissing.  "You guys are mushy."  He got up.  Natasha knocked him back down with an evil smirk and took her own kiss.  "Damn, I could watch some of that."   Dawn kicked him on the leg as she walked past him, looking smug.

Steve shook his head.  "Dawn's taken lessons for years because people keep trying to kidnap her."

"Yes they do," Dawn said.  She shot something and the demon ran out screaming.  "I don't want to go missing today, thank you anyway."  She smiled and waved at the demon.  Clint got it to kill it since she had the wrong ammo on her.  "Thanks, dear."

"Welcome, Dawn.  Any idea what he wanted this time?"  She tossed out what he had been carrying.

Natasha picked up the note and the tiara.  "That idiot dictator, Dawn."

She came out in her normal clothes.  "Which one?  That's not real descriptive, dear.  We've have four since we met."

Natasha considered it.  "Five."

"Which one am I missing?" Dawn asked.

"The one in Thailand from that rebel group," Clint said.  "We didn't tell you because we knew you'd go blow him away."

"Well, yeah.  I'm not going to lead a rebellion unless it's against people who want to conscript people like me.  Then I'll lead the rebels until all the family is safely out of the way."

"I think Phil would be Xander's second for that so you'd have to be the underground railroad sort," Steve said dryly.  "What idiot dictator?"  Natasha handed over the note.  "We just got briefed on him.  Why does he want you, Dawn?"

She shrugged.  "No clue.  Is he interested in magic, demons, wants me because I'm pretty and efficient as an assistant, or because of my other skills?"

Steve blinked.  "Hadn't asked since it wasn't in there."  He texted Coulson, who sent back why.  "Oh, you'd be a good VP for him with your skills, a hidden annoyance handler with your other skills, and you're pretty enough to be a First Lady."

Dawn waved a hand.  "Please!  I'm more than pretty enough to be Queen of the Universe.  Why should I settle for someone like that?"  She strolled off.  "Let me send this back with an impolite note."

"Coulson said to let the State Department do it."

"Sure, let me coat with poison first then," she decided.  She smiled as she walked off.

"Damn she's mean," Bucky said, looking at Steve.

"She really reminds me a lot of Peggy.  She has her mean moments when they're important but she's competent, she's efficient, even before Romania she handled things without going to tears, and she's never really used her femininity as a trap."

"She swears more than Peggy and Peggy was never that mean," Bucky said.

"She had her moments and the swearing thing is a modern problem."  He shrugged.  "It seems to be rampant in some areas."

"She probably learned from Spike," Clint said dryly.  "What did he say about the twins?"

"By the tape we had made of their meeting, he wanted to turn one into his next Dark Princess, but Dawn chided him so he gave up that idea."

Clint grinned.  "Good."

"And he thought Sean was hotter than most of the porn he has."

"Can see that viewpoint," Clint decided.  "But he's fifteen."

"Not much longer," Steve said.  "When they come back they'll be adults."  They nodded they knew that.  "Then Dawn can beat guys off them for other reasons."  He looked around.  "Is Thor there helping?"

"Last we knew," Clint said.

"Huh.  That crush Artemis has?"

"Still going strong," Natasha sighed.  "She's laid out plans for her future training and he looked pleased."

"Then maybe he'll be happy," Steve decided.  "She could still travel back and forth."

"That'd break the twin bond," Clint said.

"Good point.  Maybe a nice Marine who likes to hunt then?"

"Maybe," Natasha said with a small shrug.  "We know she likes it up there better."

Steve nodded.  "It's hard to transition to a life you've never even thought might exist.  There were plenty of times I wanted to go back in time."

Benji opened the door and leaned in.  "Hey, Barton?  Can we bum you for a few weeks?"

"Why?" he asked, looking at him.

"The new reorganization is failing due to the weapons dealers ties.  Though your wife has some."

"I don't usually sell them," Natasha said.

"Dawn used one to bait a guy," Ethan said over his shoulder with a grin for her.  "It got her a meeting with the pissant Henders."

Natasha and Clint shared a look then thought at Dawn, who told them when and she hadn't sold it, she had taken it back from them.  They shook their heads.  "She took it back from them after they all died," Clint said.  "For wanting Dawn to be their team mascot."

Ethan snorted.  "She'd poison them all."

"A lot.  I have to hit the house, guys."

"We'll pick you up after dinner," Benji said with a wave.  "Sorry, his second identity leads back to our agency."  They left.

Natasha shook her head. "Be safe, behave.  Don't make Ethan cry like a girl," she said dryly.  She smirked a tiny bit.  "Don't make Dawn come save you."

"I'd never do that."  He kissed her, making her groan and lean into his body.  "See you in a few weeks."  He went to do the same to Dawn.  She was in a meeting but oh well.  "Assignment," he said.  "Be a few weeks."  He winked.  "Be safe, behave, no taunting the bad guys unless they deserve it and no taunting Wade at all."  He left, going to the apartment to gather what he'd need.

Pepper blinked at Dawn a few times.  "Wow."

She smiled.  "Sorry, he's going on assignment."  The others smiled at her and they got back to business.  At the end, Dawn went back to her desk and checked over her various accounts.  One was suspiciously low.  She checked and wrote that person that she didn't owe a poker debt to.  He said she did.  She had him prove it and he couldn't so she told his boss, who was with the demonic mafia.  He laughed until she zapped him long distance.  Then it got delivered back nicely in an envelope.  Dawn smiled and accepted it.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Summers.  What happened to your sister?"  She pulled up a copy of the epic poem and gave it to him.  He read it and groaned.  "Valhalla?"  She nodded.  "The kids we heard she had?"

"Presently helping Atlantis."

He shuddered.  "Damn."

"Yup."  She smiled.  "They're going to have their adulthood hunts soon."

He shivered.  "That's good to know.  Thanks for letting him explain himself."

"You know, cheating the humans in the circle may be fun but a lot of us can retaliate."

"We know.  You're one of the few that would."

She grinned.  "Hey, last time I nearly holy water bombed them.  I'm being nice."

"You are.  Thanks."  He left, going to tell his boss that.  He agreed, Dawn had been very polite about things and she wasn't really human so.....  He wondered if she realized that.


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