Even Future Old Ones Have Ideas and Plans.
Dawn smiled at the reporter lurking outside the building to pounce on
someone. "Were you laying in wait for someone specific?" she asked
"Why were the Avengers guarding a wedding recently?" the reporter demanded.
"They were attending the wedding and it was attacked, as we figured it
would be," Dawn said. "My sister's had a lot of parties and
special events attacked."
"Yes, it was her wedding. A lot of us have known her for various
reasons. Including that SHIELD has worked with her in the past and
she's Callia's mom. I went and wasn't in the defensive
action. Which was pretty pathetic since it was her ex-boyfriend
that had cheated on her by going to feed vamps for the adrenaline rush
and his wife."
"It was her ex?"
"Yeah. Riley and his wife, and their commando demon hunting team."
The reporter blinked. "Why would they want your sister?"
Dawn smiled. "Because she's a slayer? That's been well known
for years now." Buffy had told her to point that out and her
spouses had said it wouldn't be tactically unsound. "Did you think
that my sister just shared the name with the elder slayer? That
we had a mother with the same name as the elder slayer's mother?"
"Um.... I didn't know that."
"People have known that for years." She smiled. "But we're all happy that Buffy and Hylal are happy together."
"Hylal isn't a native name. Is he human? Demon perhaps? I know it's said she had odd taste in the past."
Dawn shrugged. "They understood her duty. It's hard to find
someone who understands that you have to go risk yourself each and every
"I suppose. So he's a non-human?"
"Hylal is actually an Asgardian warrior. Alexander introduced them
before the battle in Sunnydale. They've hit it off very
well." Tony and Callia walked out. "Hey, boss, Callia."
"Hi. Is she a reporter?" Callia asked.
"She's wanting to know why the people at your mom's wedding had to defend themselves."
"Because they were stupid poops," Callia said bluntly. Tony
scowled at her. "He cheated on her. The people on tv say
that's bad. Even Oprah did."
"I know she did and it is," Tony agreed. He handed her to his
driver, who put her in her booster seat in the car. "As for the
defensive action, we were there. They were pretty pathetic. I
didn't even need the suit." He looked at Dawn. "Aren't you
"Um...." She checked. "I'm making dinner tonight I
guess." She smiled at the reporter. "Any last
questions? I have to make dinner."
"You do housewifely things?" she sneered.
"Sometimes. I got taught how to make some mean Indian cuisine and a
few others. We switch off." She smiled and walked
off. "Have a better night."
The reporter looked at Stark. "There's rumors that her spouse isn't human?"
"As far as I know, the average Asgardian is a human. He's just a
very large human. He's about as tall as Thor is." He
shrugged. "Hylal's a really good, stand-up guy. I hope
Callia finds a nice guy who has the same sort of decent qualities he
does when she's old enough to date at thirty." He smirked and
headed for his car.
"What about the rumors that the taxpayers funded that fight?" she called.
"Since when do taxes pay my salary at Stark International?" he
quipped. He shot her a smirk. "SHIELD isn't on the US
payroll." He slid into the car and closed the door, sighing and
looking at the person next to him. "She said it's her turn to make
"It is," Natasha agreed. "You got a death threat?" Happy
drove them off. He read it over, grimacing. "They're from
the same people that made those...creations."
"Charming." He handed it back. "Let me know if they get
close. If not, have fun with them if Fury lets you or let me know
so I can. I can use some moving targets for new weapons tests."
She smirked. "There's some in the city. Beyond that, we're already weeding them down."
"Great." He smirked back. "Have fun at dinner, Natasha."
"You as well." Happy paused and she got out, heading
upstairs. Dawn was indeed starting on dinner. She took a
kiss. "You should be more careful."
"They were laying in wait outside."
"I'm sure they were." She took another kiss. "Death threat from the sexbot people."
"Charming." She smirked. "I'll make sure I have the extra
ammo in the desk again." Natasha laughed and walked off.
"Get changed. We can spar after we eat. If Clint ever comes
off the roof."
"He is?" Dawn nodded. "Why?"
"Brooding a bit." She handed over the spoon and went up to the
penthouse so she could climb up to the rooftop deck. He was on top
of the shed that housed all the machines that had to run the
building. "I'm making ravioli. Homemade ravioli."
He looked down at her. "I'll be down soon."
"Okay. When you do, you know where we are and we'll listen." She patted his foot. "Come in for sparring?"
"I might." He watched her head back inside and sighed. He
was having bad thoughts again and it wasn't the usual sort of bad
thoughts. Things had happened too fast.
Clint faced down Dawn the next day. She had it off, he had called
off since he didn't have a current assignment. Natasha was at work
hunting down the idiots threatening Stark. "I'm having some
conflicts," he said.
"Okay." She perched herself in front of him on the couch. He
was curled up against one arm, she sat facing him. "About what?"
"Some day, I might want a family."
"I'd love one. I'm not sure if it's possible for me to have
one. If not, we'll figure it out." He stared at her.
"Even if I have the structures, who said it works?" she asked more
calmly. "I have no idea and no idea how to find out."
"Okay, that's good to know. They're there though?"
"They are. Hurt like hell going in." She grimaced but let it
clear up. "The second time too." He shuddered. "Right
now, I'm pretty satisfied with the twins and Callia babysitting time,
which you never do. When were you thinking about this going on?"
"Maybe in a few years?"
"I can get with that plan."
He relaxed. "Natasha won't."
"I leave all that up to her but she told me that when she's mostly retired it'd be more likely."
He nodded. "I can see that. Though, retire's a bad word."
She smiled. "Permanent injury leave better?"
"No," he admitted. She shrugged. "I know. Trust me, had this thought before."
"Are there any little Bartons running around?"
"I donated a few times, have some stored," he admitted. "I put your name on the allowed list."
She hugged him. "When you're ready, we'll talk about it. See
if it's a possibility." He nodded, relaxing again. "If not,
maybe we can do a surrogate, using our sperm and eggs, and do it that
"Maybe," he admitted, lightening up some. "We weren't ready for her to do that."
"No," she admitted. "I liked what we had but this new level of
'ship hasn't really changed all that much from before. I mean, we
were scary and inciting lust before." He smirked at her and kicked
at her lightly. She patted his foot. "I did." He
nudged her again. "To me not much has changed, even though things
have officially changed. It does mean I can send nasty notes to
the woman who sent you underwear again."
"Yeah, the guy in the mailroom at SHIELD who handles the fanmail for the team told me."
"It was clean he thinks."
"Still not what I want." He stared at her. "I don't want things to get harder."
"They're as hard as we make them. So said Mom and I'd assume she knew."
"Probably, yeah." He considered it. "I've still got worries."
"I think that's pretty human of you," she said. "I have worries and that's pretty human of me."
He smiled. "I know very well you're human, no matter how you got made."
She grinned back. "Thanks."
"Is that worrying you?"
"Someone brought it up the other day. Nothing else has been slung at me recently."
He nodded, patting his lap. "Want comforted?" She crawled up
and settled in his lap to cuddle him. "This is better."
"This is really nice," she agreed. "As far as I'm concerned, the
wedding was unofficial and the certificates are okay until we're ready
for them to be fully enforced. I even filed single taxes this
He gave her a squeezed. "They're real and we have to deal with the bigger things. Including taxes."
She looked at him. "Want me to get the stuff to amend?"
"No. We didn't know we were married then." He took a kiss. "We're probably worrying Natasha."
"I think she realized that we're still having some doubts now and
then. She said last night during sparring that we should've just
stuck to tattoos."
He laughed, giving her a squeeze. "Maybe. Might've been easier."
"Are you feeling that doubtful?" she asked. "I mean, the removing of a tattoo is hard but....."
He kissed her. "I hate your low self esteem moments," he said, staring at her.
He grinned. "We can fight each other's and let her ooze over us like a goddess in our lives."
"She is like my personal goddess some days." She snuggled in
better. Natasha was clearly listening so they sent dirty thoughts
at her, getting a snort back. She told them that the marriage was
what they made of it and they did not have to acknowledge it in public
or anything. They made their points about that feeling wrong but
it was too dangerous to do so. Which bothered Clint, and Dawn
hated having to hide anything.
At her age she should be having PDA in the park, not hiding that she was
with the most amazing people in the universe. Natasha agreed
about that and said they could go on a public date. They agreed
that'd be nice and let her get back to work. Clint made sure he
was locked down. Dawn made sure she was locked down, and they
disconnected from each other for a bit in case. They laid there
and cuddled. It was great having a day off together. Even if
Clint's mind went in a typical guy fashion to sex. Dawn looked up
at him. "You only have to ask."
"I know. That's the greatest thing about you." He took a
kiss. "Beyond how you added Lucky Charm marshmallows to curry the
other day." She grinned. "It tasted good, you were
right. Took a nice place of the raisins we were out of."
"I'm praying that some day I don't have problems that mean I can't feel
things," she said, playing with his shirt button. For some reason
he was wearing an overshirt.
He swatted her hand. "You won't. Even if you couldn't get
off at all, you'd still like the cuddling and the other stuff."
"It is pretty good," she agreed with a smile. "Even if you were in a wheelchair."
He shuddered but hugged her. "If I am, I'll hire a nurse."
"Like hell." She bit him on the neck. "The only one that gives you a bath is me, Barton."
He laughed. "We can handle that." She slid off his lap and
hauled him up, taking him to the bedroom. "Hmm, needy?" he teased.
"Yup. You froze your ass off up there last night instead of sitting on our nice, warm porch."
"I needed some alone time."
She looked at him. "Next time, bring a heater. We could feel you shivering."
"Sorry." He took a kiss. She wrapped herself around
him. He smiled and took them to the bed, where it was always good
Phil showed up alone that night at Xander's, earning a grin.
"Maria is hovering over the babbling ones. Melissa pulled the
cooking oil down onto her head while Tara was cooking. They're
still trying to get it off."
"Dawn dishwashing detergent?" he offered.
"Tried. It's the cheap stuff so it never comes out." He sat
down beside him. "Can we go back up to talk some more? It
seems easier there."
"We can do that once I finish this file." He went back to
reading. Phil was frowning at it. "Something I've been
watching to see if I needed to step in."
John appeared and took it, walking off. "Hey, one of the shitheads
I tried to end a few years back in Europe survived. I'll have to
handle that again, only better this time. Maybe with fire."
"Your city broken again?" Xander asked.
"Yup. The whole city's broken. It's been one long day of
remembrance since the President announced it." He looked
back. "I stole some of the mead and ale casks it was so heavy
earlier. I'm getting out of it." Xander nodded. "Go
home." He sent them both to Valhalla with a grin. Then he
went back to his city after getting some more liquor. They each
had their way of escaping angst. John had a whole lot of people
under his command who needed to be watched as they handled theirs then
he could handle his own.
Callia smiled at Pepper as she came in the door. "Hi, Auntie."
"Hi, Callia." She settled on the couch. "Your dad said we're having dinner."
Callia beamed. "I asked. I need more girls in my life and
you're my favorite auntie." She hugged her. "My favorite
veggie is still 'matos but you're my second favorite veggie." She
ran off to get her stuffed penguin.
Pepper sniffled but she was smiling. "You're my favorite little girl too, Callia."
Tony was even a bit sniffly about that. She was his favorite veggie too.
Phil looked around the clearing they had landed in, shivering some. "This doesn't look familiar."
"This is where John always shows up to find his way to anywhere
else." Xander took them to his official house. "I have to
get a scroll." Phil nodded, standing by the fireplace. He
smiled. "You need warmer clothes."
"I put some on or so I thought." He let himself warm up there,
looking around the entry hall. "Thor said you had an official
"That's what this marble monstrosity is," Xander quipped. "Some
day soon I'm changing it." He came out with the scroll, finding
someone in the doorway. "What's up?" he asked Tyr.
"Are you officially up here for a bit?"
"No. I'm going to the cabin. I needed a few things from here."
"Odin doesn't want you that close."
"I built that house, not him. For that matter, I built this
house." He looked around and snapped his fingers, packing things
and sending them off to his cabin. Then he smiled and snapped,
dissolving the house. " There, they can have the land back." Tyr
winced. He took Phil to the cabin.
"Is that going to get you in trouble since all the prior drama got undone?"
"No. I don't rightly care most of the time." He looked at
him. "My only duty is to the villages, not to the main hall, not
to them, none of it." Phil relaxed and smiled. "If Odin
comes here to throw a fit, he doesn't actually own this realm." He
shrugged. "He's the main god. Frankly, his power base is up
here and mine's not. But.... I still built this cabin and
he can't enforce immigration rules because we don't have any."
Someone pounded. "Yes, I knew you were out there. Go the
fuck away." The door got pounded on again and he opened it,
staring at his grandfather, who did not look pleased. "I guard
"All of the Aesir must have a house there."
Xander shrugged. "You don't count me among them most of the
time. Want me to give up my duty to the villages? I have
another few vacation cabins. Speaking of, how did you find this
one? I have it shielded." Odin glared. He stared
back. "I'm taking a night off from earth."
"You've done that many times."
"To talk to the mate that Gaia nicely gave me." Odin
flinched. "Phil and I need privacy to talk and get to know each
other. The temple is a bit full."
"You have a duty and a responsibility. Put back up that house."
Xander stared at him. "I'll put something in a few days. I
was going to redecorate anyway. It's much too grand for me."
"It's what your father wanted," he sneered.
"Since when have I been my father's son?"
Odin flinched back. "That may be. Put it back anyway."
"I'll put up something more modest and fitting my personal style later. Before I go back in the morning."
Odin stared at him. "You are not above our laws."
Xander sighed and snapped, creating a small stone cabin there.
"Better?" Odin glared. "It's not like I take part in the
politics. I avoid it whenever possible. For multiple
reasons. That's why I noted it was a bad idea that I'm the only
grandchild." He slammed the door. "I'm having a night
off." He walked off.
"Xander, calm down," Phil soothed. "We can go somewhere else."
Xander looked at him. "That cold?" he asked dryly.
"No, the cabin is nicely warm and it's a beautiful place. Much
more calm and peaceful than your temple. This speaks more of you
than your temple does." Xander relaxed again. "But it's not
wise to piss people off."
"If he's pissed off it's his own fault," Xander said.
"I get that." He patted him on the arm. "Let's take things
to a better vacation spot? That way I see more of you and your
Xander relaxed and nodded. "We can do that. You probably need somewhere warmer."
"I'm not a beach bunny by any means. I actually like snow, just
not thousands of feet of it at once." Xander smirked. "Does
it never not snow?"
"Few days a month. A few months in the summer."
"Short growing season then." They both looked outside at the roar of a bear. "His?"
"Can't be." He went to open the door, staring at the bear.
"Do you mind?" he asked it. It looked confused. He could
feel the magic. "I was wrong, it is. She's even a mother
bear. That's charming since she would've cubbed recently."
He followed the magic back where it went, through Odin and Frigg to a
few others. They yelled as the magic backlashed.
"Good." The bear fell to all fours and lumbered off. "Go
back to sleep, Mama Bear." He looked at Phil. "Let me go
yell at people."
"We can both go," Phil said. "I'll back you up." Xander stared at him. "Backup is always a good concept."
"It's been a long time since I used it," he admitted.
"I use it often." He smiled. "That's why I'm in
charge." Xander snorted but locked up the cabin and took him with
"So the *heir* returns," Odin sneered.
"To look at the people who just sent a mother bear to attack my house." He looked at them. "Happier now?"
"We thought it might encourage you two to work together," one whimpered.
Xander shook his head. "I can talk to animals." He looked
around then at Odin. "I see it got rebuilt." Odin
growled. Xander stared back. Then he looked at the others
again. "Had enough." They backed down. "Beyond that,
seriously? Because I'd need help for a bear?" Phil patted
him on the arm. He looked at him. "You could've shot it."
Xander smirked. "You are badass in your own way, Phil." He
looked at his cousins again. "Mayhap someone's mind is rotted by
the VD he and she caught off the inn wenches again." He walked
"Grandson, that house is not appropriate," Odin noted.
Xander looked at him. "I find it charmingly comfortable. It
may not be grand but I'm not one that shows the length of my powers or
prowess with the size of my cars, houses, horses, or weapons. Mine
speak for me, not having to have it stated." He took Phil off,
taking them to one of his vacation homes. Phil was sweating nearly
instantly. "Sorry, Greece."
"I loved Greece the last time I was here for work." He took off
the heavier shirt. Xander smirked and they went to play on the
beach for a bit.
Odin looked at the house then waved to change it. It grew but it
looked odder now. He huffed and tried again. It changed to
bright pink, which to an Aesir was the color that evil overlord types
wore. He groaned and quit trying. He got that message.
John showed up with a smile. "Watch me hit that gong again for
annoying my baby brother." Odin glared. John smiled more
brightly. "Things are actually working right now between him and
Phil. They're actually talking. They might even move into a
better friendship soon. So can you maybe quit annoying them into
reacting? Because they will react and the tender bonds they're
building now will be fractured. If we actually wanted your
grandson to be happy, you'd leave him be." He disappeared.
"That is wise advice," Freya agreed. "There will be no union if
they don't work it out themselves. Even with Gaia's dirty trick."
Frigg shook her head. "They'd destroy her but probably can't."
"Oh, he could but then he'd automatically have to take her place and our
nephew cannot plant," Freya said. She shook her head.
Odin looked at her then at the ones that had tried to torment Xander. "Leave him be."
"Yes, sir," they agreed.
"Get checked for that VD too," Alana quipped. "You are both mentally weak right now for some reason."
Odin stared at her. "You still must marry."
She smiled and produced a vibrator. "As some Hindu ones do, I have
married something that will bring better luck to our villages."
She walked off to play with her new spouse. She had even figured
out how to make it not need batteries.
Frigg sniffled. "I hate that custom. Daughter, what is that?"
"His name is Alan, Mother." She smiled at her. "He hums a
lot." Freya squeaked and hid her face in her hands. "It's a
very good thing for our relationship. Makes me quite happy and
sated without having to deal with someone being there to annoy
me." She disappeared back to her house by her villages.
Frigg looked at Odin. "It is not my fault," he assured her.
"It was how she was born. Look at how Athena gets above herself."
"I think Alana's is more that she does not want to be the same sort of
target that your grandson is." She got up after patting him on the
hand. She needed a drink and there was a bottle of wine she had
been saving for a special occasion. Since her youngest child was
now married it was a good time for it.
Odin glared at the hall. "Go." They fled for their
lives. He would have to straighten out that girl later, and then
his grandson. He shored up the shields around the cabins and
sulked to some mead. Why didn't his children and grandchildren
Xander snuck them up to Valhalla later that night, winking at Phil. "It's one of the hunting ones."
Phil got up to look around, nodding at all the weapons that lined the walls. "You imported guns?"
"Yup. Had to."
Phil smiled. "You wanted to."
"Well, yeah." He grinned back. Phil touched a few but kept
moving until he had completed a circuit of the small one-room
cabin. The bathroom was sealed off by a heavy curtain in the
corner. The kitchen was against one wall and the fireplace.
The bed was in a corner by the kitchen but away from the
fireplace. It was colder here than it was in the other one.
Xander warmed the house, sealing a crack he found. Phil
"No, it's not a problem. You're used to the cold and I like some
cold. Not so freezing that I could become frozen like Captain
Rogers was." Xander snickered. Phil came back to the couch,
which was in a nice, cozy, warm spot in front of the fireplace.
"Do you only hunt from here?"
"Usually. Unless I'm hiding. Dad doesn't really like the cold all that much sometimes."
"That figures." He shifted, looking around. "No books?"
"Usually I'm doing weapons maintenance. If I let Alana take over, I'll leave her some of them."
"We can bring them to my place in New York if you want," Phil offered quietly.
Xander looked at him. "Are we moving in together?"
"I wouldn't mind having you there more often."
"I know. We can shield it so even Dawn can't hear. I can
turn off the sensor that Stark put up too." Xander shrugged.
"Make a doorway between there and the temple?"
"I might like that," he said cautiously. "There's no movie theater near the temple."
"We can handle it and get the kids used to not pouncing you as often."
Xander smiled slightly. "That might be good. I have to keep myself from flinching."
Phil touched him on the arm. "So do I sometimes, especially after
very bad nights." Xander nodded he understood those. They
calmed down and relaxed. "Time still run faster here?"
Xander nodded. "Did you realize our anniversary is next week?"
Xander looked at him. "Up here?"
"I didn't." He considered it. "Want to go out to dinner?"
Phil smiled. "I might be on an assignment that night."
"Okay, let me know."
"I can do that." He stroked over Xander's arm, making him calm
down. Xander calmed down with petting, like a large hunting
dog. "The dogs?"
"Are staying there."
"Fine." He smiled. Xander kissed him then got up to make
something to eat. "Want to take the first shower or me?"
Xander looked at him. "Shower?"
"In the morning?" He got up and stripped down to his boxers,
climbing into the bed. Xander was staring at him. "Once you
come to bed?"
Xander put his sandwich back in the cold box and came to bed. Phil
was nicely warm then and Xander still slept naked. Phil moved
closer, letting him start the heavy petting tonight. Xander ran a
hand up Phil's stomach, making him tense up. "Been a while?" he
guessed. Phil nodded. "That's fine." He leaned in for
another kiss. Xander always made sure they both got off
somehow. He moved closer, making it a tighter groping
session. Phil was happy with that idea. He even managed to
get them both naked. Clearly a huge leap had been made in their
relationship. They could rub against each other.
Phil was into it on a visceral level but he didn't understand how or why
it felt so good. Xander could make him see that. He nudged
his hips into Phil's, earning a gasp. "It's good, dirty
fun." He took another kiss, just casually thrusting against Phil's
own cock. It was a good thing, a nice thing. Something that
Phil was really enjoying. Xander slid a hand down his back and
pulled his hips closer with a butt grab. That helped and it was
very good. They both came and Xander made a warm, wet washcloth to
clean them off. Phil stopped him and used a finger to scoop some
up to taste. Xander shivered. "That's sweet," Xander said.
"Bit salty," he teased.
"Usually." He cleaned them up and took another kiss. "Rest?"
"I could use a slight nap but I'm not really tired."
Xander smirked. "I keep forgetting you have some decent stamina too."
"I do, yes." He shifted some. "I read up on the mechanics of where we're going."
Xander nodded. "It's not a bad thing. Feels better after the first few seconds."
"I saw that." He let Xander cuddle, which he did enjoy.
Xander gave good cuddles. Xander even stroked his stomach.
"I might need some showing though."
"I can definitely show you everything you want to see," Xander teased. "I give a pretty good blowjob."
"That I've seen." Xander looked at him. "Assignment."
"Those can suck," he agreed. Phil poked him for that pun. "I can't see you as the bimbo type."
"I'm not. I did draw rich, evil women for a while though."
Xander smiled. "Some of them can be very fun."
"Yes they were." He sighed. Xander laughed. They
relaxed and went over what Xander was going to add to the new trainee
schedule. These ones were still a bit weak.
Phil would not be bitter about his anniversary being spent in Romania,
which he now hated thanks to them having taken the trio. He was
even over here to help end the remaining bits and pieces of that group
so that was a tiny salve to his bad mood but didn't make it much
better. He had a few junior agents he mostly trusted not to screw
up but none of the special agents he had helped train over the years, or
even worked with.
They really had to do something about the training at the lower levels
and how to sort people for missions. One would not shut up.
Phil finally found the duct tape in the emergency kit and used some on
the agent's mouth. "If we can't use the radio, you can't babble,"
he said bluntly. Then he got back in to drive the car again.
The other agents were all slumped down. Great, now he felt like
he was their training officer. Again. This was not going to
Xander listened and watched, then set up the pretty shot and got the
person who was threatening his future mate. It started a slight
panic but let the other agents do what they needed to get done and the
bitch quit trying to talk Phil into bed. He got two others that he
hated, including one immie who was trying to interfere. That
immortal was not pleased but caught sight of him and went pale, hopping
off to get out of the way. He mentally nudged her and told her
that he was only there for fun and games. She whimpered and quit
her service as soon as the boss answered the phone.
Xander flashed out. He had brought Natasha over to help since he
had heard Phil complaining about rookie agents without sense. She
got what they needed. Barton was covering her, and Dawn wasn't
worrying because Xander had brought them. Well, not worrying
much. They all evacuated and Xander got them all home with Phil's
help. "Room?" he asked Phil. He handed over the keys.
He took Barton with him to help make sure they weren't noticed.
Then they went back to SHIELD. Fury was glaring at the
agents. Xander handed over the three bags. "You actually
left clothes, with American tags in them, in your motel rooms?"
Fury groaned. "Even I know not to do that and I haven't been in a
military since the goddamn civil war, people." He looked at
Fury. "I need to train these ones."
"I need someone who can train them in special agent things instead of physical things."
Xander nodded. "Yeah, maybe. Find me one and I'll build them a nice suite."
Fury snorted. "I might take you up on that." He looked at Coulson. "Duct tape?"
"Humming _Stairway to Heaven_, sir. Twice."
Fury winced. "Humming." Coulson nodded. He walked off
shaking his head. "Reports. Tonight. Analyze that data
and information tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," Barton said. "Thankfully I don't have much to
write." He strolled off. Natasha had hers half done while
Fury was chewing on the junior agents.
Phil looked at her. "I miss working with you two sometimes."
She smirked at him. He started his own report. Xander took
him home to feed him. Nothing really fancy, just pasta and
sauce. A salad. It was nice though. Very
calming. "Thank you for making her quit huffing on me."
"Welcome." He grinned. "I made garlic bread but it needs to
be broiled." Phil did that and poured the wine, settling in to eat
once the bread was done. It was a nice dinner. Very
calming. Phil finished his report and sent it through the system
then let Xander pulled him to the couch. Iron Chef America was on
and it was always good for a laugh. Xander was seriously into
touching tonight and Phil could enjoy that. A lot. He got
his first blowjob from his new husband and it was nice. Xander
gave a very good one. He laid there and groaned, stroking over his
head. Xander stood up once Phil was limp, staring down at
him. "My turn?"
"If you're up for it, your turn is on your back," he offered with a grin.
Phil sat up and kissed him. "We can try." Xander grinned and
took him to the bedroom. It was nicely set up with clean sheets,
which looked familiar. "You brought the sheets down?"
"They have protections so your powers can't flash out and draw attention."
"I didn't realize that. I'll have to put some on my other
sets." He smirked. "I'm told that it's normal for my magic
to flash if it's good."
"I'm usually very good," Xander quipped. He got them undressed the
easy way but moved closer to kiss him while they were standing.
"You can say no."
"I'm not in the mood to say no." Xander beamed and pushed him
down, laying down with him to go back to the kissing. It was good,
let Phil touch Xander. There weren't many places that made him
flinch and one was a good place to suck on. He tried that, making
Xander moan and clench up. "Not a vampire," Phil whispered in his
"Thank you, Goddess," he moaned. Phil laughed and got back to
it. He had a few girlfriends over the years. He did know how
to make a bed partner happy. He may not have centuries of
experience but he was good at it. It was time for him to make the
first move again. He moved down to tease Xander some more.
Teasing Xander had varying responses, from giggles to moans to outright
coming from a few places being bitten. He avoided those today and
moved to the ones that earned him moans. Xander was nearly
whimpering. He shifted up to get on top, kissing him. "Hi."
"Hi." Xander pulled him down for another kiss. "I should probably get on with the prep stuff."
Phil smiled. "However you want to do it, Xander. I'm not that impatient."
"No bedtime stories?"
"No need to go baby someone?"
Xander relaxed and nodded, flipping them over to go back to teasing Phil
instead. Xander found the lube he had put in here and made sure
it was within easy reach. Phil was squeezing his eyes shut and
gripping the sheets, head back, because Xander was slowly licking his
cock up and down. It was driving him nuts, which was half the
point. Xander slid a finger into the pot of lube then used it to
coat the outside of the hole and the valley between his cheeks.
Phil spread out for him.
"Easy, let me handle it. You just enjoy it," Xander ordered.
He delicately dipped his pinkie finger into the lube and used it to
slowly tease the pucker open. Phil shivered but relaxed for
him. That was easier. It let him switch fingers up to a
normal sized one. His index finger made squishing noises but it
was a good thing. He found the little nub he was searching for on
the second thrust. Phil flinched and went rigid.
"Okay?" Phil nodded. "You sure?"
"I'm good," he said, sounding strangled. "More? Please?"
"On it." He went back to teasing him into relaxing enough to open
for him. Phil was very sensitive to any touch near his prostate
nub. He got him open to two fingers and Phil was wincing so he
gave him another prostate nudge. That eased the pain and Phil was
more than happy to open up for him. Xander shifted around some,
going back to distracting him.
"Xander, please," Phil ordered. "I'm not that sort of virgin to it."
Xander laughed. "You sure?"
"I'm sure. I want to feel it, remember it." Xander nodded,
going back to it without the distracting. He switched up to three
fingers, which made him a bit twitchy and sore but he knew he'd have to
be more open. The feeling of lube inside him wasn't a usual, good
feeling but it was nice enough he guessed. He diverted his mind
from thinking about squishy feelings there. Xander licked him and
sucked on the head of his cock again, which whited out all
thoughts. He stared at him. Xander grinned and pulled his
fingers out. They got together for a kiss then he felt Xander
nudge him. He nodded, taking a deep breath. Xander slowly
slid in, pausing every few centimeters before moving on.
Phil was gripping his lover's shoulders as hard as he could, panting
through it. Xander was nibbling on his throat, making it
better. He slowly calmed down as the initial pain eased.
Then Xander pulled back and thrust in again. Phil let him, calming
himself down to enjoy it. Xander was teasing him again. His
whole attention was on the two places his hands were and where they
were joined. It was a strange 'on fire' from the stretching yet
'calming' feeling going on. It was good too. He was quickly
back in the mood and Xander eased up, going back to teasing him by
changing his rhythm. Phil was ready to pounce long before Xander
got done teasing. "Xander?" he begged.
Xander kissed him. "Whenever you're closer."
"I..." He panted and swallowed some air. "Okay."
Xander smiled and kissed him, drawing him into his web of kisses and
touches. Phil had been floating on top of the water, now he was
drowning in the feelings. He was going to spew his whole essence
if Xander would let him come. Which he wasn't. It was mean
yet so very good of him to do. Phil felt like he was drowning in
the feelings, watching it sink his mind, then his emotional
control. Then his physical control because even he could tell he
was leaking powers. Finally Xander nudged him one too many times
and he came, whiting out again. He blinked his vision clear,
staring up at Xander, who was grinning. "You good?"
"Good." He leaned down to kiss him, getting back to teasing
him. Phil was amazed he was going to get hard again so soon but
Xander was a god for a reason. Clearly he should've been a lust
god instead of a protector. Xander laughed, shaking his
head. "No one likes lust gods." He kissed him. "I'm
happy in my job and my skills at lust and all this is only for very few
special, worthy people." He took another kiss and got back to his
ideal of getting Phil to lose his mind. Phil finally broke out
swearing and flipped them over to ride him harder. Xander stopped
him from going onto his knees. "That's only for claiming," he said
in his ear. "Until I claim you, make and mark you as mine, not on
your knees, Phil." He stroked over his stomach. "Ride me."
Phil moved and teased himself. Xander took that duty over.
It was still great, he was so hard he ached. He was going to come,
no matter what was going on. Maybe it'd be in the next few
strokes, maybe not. Phil was adjusting his seat each time so they
hit a different spot. Finally he let it hit his prostate again and
came, spewing come all over Xander and the bed, and a few drops into
the fountain that was mysteriously on the wall behind the bed. He
panted, head hanging, sweat dripping off him onto Xander. He
looked at him, realizing he was still hard. "Damn."
Xander smirked. "I'm very close. I'm giving you everything you could want tonight, Phil."
Phil kissed him and rolled off him, then onto his stomach. "You beat me in sparring too."
Xander groaned. "Phil, this is hyena things here. This is *claiming* and you will never get free."
Phil smiled. "I looked that up." Xander shivered. "I'm pretty sure I'm yours for our entire lives, Xander."
Phil pulled him down to kiss him. "My choice, remember?"
Xander nodded, starting to shake. "I'm yours. We'll work out
the other stuff as it comes. Take me."
Xander nodded, kissing him again. "Just so you know."
"I know. I realize. I did a lot of research on hyenas and
pack structure." Xander shivered again but did slide back
in. Phil let himself be moved into a better position, even if his
shoulders being on the bed while his ass was in the air made him feel a
bit submissive. He understood that need. He nearly winced as
Xander slid back in. "Were you hiding extra inches?"
"Yes." He kissed up his back. "I need to remove the shields. It's only right."
Phil stared at him. "I'm not scared of scars, Xander."
Xander nodded, leaning down. His forehead was on Phil's back, and
he removed both the shields covering him. Phil smiled and touched
him. He had a few bad scars but nothing that would make anyone
cringe. He was skinny too. "You need to eat more. You
can't keep up this sort of activity without fuel."
Xander laughed. "I'll eat again later." He pushed back in
and slowly nibbled his way up Phil's back until he found the spot he
wanted. Phil yelped when it got bitten but that was fine.
Xander was pounding into him, making him hold on for dear life.
Being claimed was a lot different feeling but it was a good feeling, a
right one. It felt like it was meant to be. Now he suddenly
realized why Dawn got so loud. He was getting louder than he had
been in his life. Xander was making him nearly yell and pant and
squeal and scream and he was loving the letting go. Xander finally
slammed in and came. Phil winced but Xander teased him and he
came too. Phil fell down, trapping Xander's arm under him.
Xander was panting against his neck. Still cuddling too.
That was good. He liked the cuddling. Xander changed the
sheets for them magically then let them rest.
Phil finally flipped over and kissed Xander. Xander kissed him
back, smoothing some of the sweaty hair off his forehead. "Thank
you." Xander grinned. He cuddled in and it was good.
Xander gave the best cuddles.
Barton walked past where Phil was trudging up the halls, tossing a few
pill packs on his folder he was reading. "Might need those, sir."
"Yes, I do," he agreed, taking them with his coffee. He knew
others could tell he wasn't walking perfectly today but really one of
his legs only had partial feeling in it. He had no idea when he
had pulled that muscle in his calf but clearly the natural painkillers
from the sex had worn off.
Fury looked at him when he walked in with his report. "Why are you limping? I didn't get an injury report."
"I strained a calf muscle last night, sir." He handed over the
report. "I've taken something for it and am waiting on it to kick
"How did you do that?"
"After dinner, while I was at home."
Fury stared at him. "Sparring? Cleaning?"
"No comment, sir." He stared at him.
Phil nodded. "No comment." He walked off. It would
bite him later but he wasn't sharing that. Joyce smiled at him and
handed him a new cup of coffee. "Thank you, Joyce." He
sipped and relaxed once he got onto the elevator. Of course, Fury
had called the infirmary. So he had to have a physical. He
walked in and shrugged. "I stretched too far and it pulled a bit."
The doctor looked at him. "I've done that a few times with my
back. Just your calf? The director said you needed a full
physical based on what the reports said."
"No, I don't. She didn't get within sexual touching range."
The doctor stared at him. "Even if you have orders you're not
going to check me for sexual congress. Sorry." He walked
off. That poison in his drawer might be a good thing. When
he went looking it wasn't there. Thankfully he had other methods
stashed around the building. Most of them had been found, probably
by Barton to save himself, but he had a few left. Fury ended up
in the ER with a high fever that made him sing show tunes a few hours
later. It wouldn't kill him, it was just making him a bit ill.
Fury got better enough by about four to go glare at his minion. "That was uncalled for."
Phil looked at him. "What, sir?"
"The poison, Coulson. I know I allowed you to learn how to use them but that was nearly evil."
Phil shrugged. "It wasn't a poison, you're not dying, sir."
"Why did you think that was appropriate?"
"For the same reason you thought I needed to be checked for sexual
activity, sir." Fury glared. He stared blandly back.
"I might love SHIELD but my loyalty is to the organization, not the
people." Fury backed down a bit. "They have no need to know
if I've enjoyed relations with anyone, including my spouse,
recently. There's no need for anyone to really have that
information, sir. We don't ask it of you."
"I know where I've been."
"I'm fairly certain I know where I was too." He smiled. "She
didn't touch me a bit, I wouldn't have allowed it." He put down
his pen. "Beyond that, the request violates federal regulations in
the United States, and SHIELD regulations as well, sir."
"We don't have those," he snorted.
"We do." He pulled down his handbook to flip to the proper section
and found it within a few seconds of seaching. "Here, sir."
He smiled as he handed it over. "It does cover both men and
women. It does not allow the infirmary or anyone else to give you
private sexual information unless it is compromising someone's health or
well-being. Something like post-rape trauma is the example
cited. Which I do not have."
"There's also rules about not sleeping with foreign nationals, Agent Coulson."
"I haven't. Alexander has a recent California birth certificate where he has that deaging curse on him, sir."
"He sure as hell is," Fury said dryly.
"Even then, with the forced marriage, that does create an exemption,
especially if Immigration had papers on file for him, sir." He
stared at him. "Which we asked, he doesn't need any. They
accepted his rebirth in Sunnydale made him a US citizen by birth."
Fury glared at him. "I'm to know these things because they can become important."
"No, sir, I don't see how anyone's relationship status is that
important. I'm not young and cute enough to send to sex people up
for information any longer therefore it can't really be a detriment to
"I can still fire you for not going to a mandated appointment."
"Yes, sir, and then I can sue." He smiled slightly. "I hear
it's a reasonable thing in the US now and there's many good attorneys
instead of just ambulance chasers willing to help such cases.
Especially since you wouldn't ask that of the female employees.
Though if you did, I'm sure that's why most of them to go a doctor
"I hear from them too," he sneered.
"If you do that violates federal laws in whole other categories.
There is no reason for their doctors to share private information with
you, even with a warrant, unless it's necessary for an
investigation. Which would be an Internal Affairs job, and ours is
out of the FBI the last I knew, sir." He stared at him.
"Beyond that, you still can't have that information on me. I'll
destroy everything and help it rebuild in the manner it started
in. I may love SHIELD but I have my doubts about some of the
He stood up. "I can tell you're not a robot. Even Meers'
robots had some processing faults and a bit of slowness now and
then. I know you're not a goo clone because you've told a few
lies." He smirked slightly. "You have a very interesting
tell, sir. Your bad eye twitches." Fury was glaring
now. "Did you expect me to be miserable for my whole life?
Since we can't get out of it, a wise man learns to live with what he has
and makes the most of it. Thankfully, he and I were becoming
friends and we've spent a few long nights talking about things.
It's been a good thing."
"We don't allow personal attachments and we don't offer gay husband benefits," he sneered.
"He's not on any of my paperwork. Tara's on it for herself and the
twins. Dawn's on it as a beneficiary and as my medical
power of attorney. She didn't like that but she is.
Alexander's not on it anywhere as of this time and probably won't be for
"What's he going to do when you die, Coulson?"
"Technically, he was due a golden apple that he could decide to give me,
sir." Fury gaped. "He did help the Greek pantheon with a
few battles. I think he won the apple after one of them." He
smiled slightly. "We haven't talked about where it's going yet."
"We don't need any more demigods here at SHIELD. One is enough."
"There is a distinction between being immortal and being a demigod,
sir. Including having gifted powers instead of bloodline powers,
such as magic, and parentage. I can do up a report if you'd like."
"No, I don't like. I don't like this new you at all."
Phil shrugged. "I haven't really changed, sir. I'm the same
agent I was before all this." He stared at him. "If I've
found a bit of a temper over some things, I think most people would find
that reasonable." He sat down again. "Anything else, sir?"
"I can fire you."
"I'm fairly certain I could ask Stark for a job. Maybe a nice,
sedate head of security sort of position. Then I'd have very
little to infect my life with drama outside the occasional espionage
moment. Which sounds nice. I'd get more steady time with the
"I can blackball you. No one will hire you."
"When has something like that mattered to Mr. Stark?"
Fury stomped off. "You'll have that exam or you can find that other job."
"That's fine, I'll call him right now, sir, and my attorney. I'm
sure I can use Dawn's." Fury glared back at him. He did call
Dawn. "It's me. Can you set up a meeting for me with Stark
and Pepper please? Because I'm going to finish poisoning the
director of SHIELD." He smiled. "That as well, yes. Do
I have his number?" He nodded, writing it down. "Thank you,
Dawn. Yes, that's fine. No, I was ordered to have an exam
to prove the status of my marriage bed." He grimaced. "He
did try? What did she do? That's an interesting
outcome. Thank you. That would be fine." He hung up
and gathered things. He turned and found Xander there. "I'm
not putting up with it."
"Me either." He smirked and strolled off, calling Hellion to
him. The two elder puppies appeared too. "I don't need you
two," he said in the elevator. "But okay." They got off on
the admin floor. He paused to kiss Joyce on the cheek. "Have
a break, Mom." He walked in there and looked at Fury. "Did
you not learn anything about how bad pissing me off is when you were
cursed?" Fury opened his mouth and Xander hauled him out of his
seat by hand then threw him at the main window. He followed.
"I think we need to have a manly talk about how you wanted to know
personal information you don't need, Director.
"I'm pretty certain you won't like it," he said dryly. "But if you
want to know sexual information from my family, you'd better ask
me. I am the family's PR person after all." He stared him
down. "Do you still want to know what I do in my bed?"
Fury's jaw was broken. He was trying to move it. Xander
stared down at him. "You can think the answer; I'm a Godly being, I
can read minds." He smirked. "I can do it very well."
Fury slid away from him and the dogs. The dogs were
growling. "Down, guys. I don't really need the backup.
Just make sure we aren't interrupted, Hellion." The dog moved to
block off anyone coming to break them up.
"Sir," Agent Hill said. "Don't make me shoot you."
Xander looked at her. "Did he ask you about your relationship's status to pervert in it?"
"No, he has not."
"He did with Phil, who was forced to marry me by Gaia." She
winced. He looked at Fury again. "I don't think anyone needs
to be asked about that. Not even Ares was that uncouth." He
stared down at him. "You piss me off again, SHIELD can appoint a
new director and those ones in charge want Stark." He hauled him
up to stare into his eyes. "Now, did you want to ask me a question
about something?" He listened to his mind. "Good. I
like that." He let him go. "Home, guys." The dogs got
sent home. He looked at Maria Hill. "I respect you a lot,
Agent Hill. I respect most of you, though some of the junior
agents are a bit dumb. Seriously dumb." She grimaced.
"I'd never hurt you because you'd never send someone to the infirmary
for a check to see if you've had sex recently."
"No, I would not and that is against SHIELD and US regulations," she noted.
"Yes, it is." He smirked. "I'd suggest you fix him before I
fix this whole situation. Because now I'm not so sure it was the
robo-him that put the cameras in Dawn's apartment to perv in her
life. Maybe it's his kink and he just can't hide it
sometimes. I don't really care why. Because I could use a
few good administrators. Not like I can steal Dawn to help me
train agents." He turned and hit Fury since he was getting
up. "No, you stay down there." He strolled off. "Are
we taking the twins tonight?"
"Um, no, Callia is helping babysit them because there's a family dinner," she admitted.
Xander grinned. "Cool. See you there." He disappeared.
"Med team to the bridge," Maria called. She looked at her glaring
boss. "Don't worry, sir. We'll figure out who did what to
you and fix it." He glared at her. She stared back. "I
love SHIELD, sir, but not when it's going to get me thrown into jail
for violating laws." She let the med team gather him. "He
and Alexander had words. Alexander threw him into the wall.
I'm fairly certain his jaw is broken at the least." They nodded,
walking him off. She stared at the others in there. "Back to
work. Excitement's over with and just because the director is in
the infirmary doesn't mean we don't protect the world, people."
They got back to it. She looked at Joyce, who rolled her eyes and
shook her head. She walked over. "Are you all right?"
She smiled. "I've seen Xander's temper before. He was only
mildly pissed off, Maria," she said quietly. "If the director had
really pissed off him or Phil, I'm sure the outcome would be drastically
"Probably," she agreed. She went back to her own desk. This
had been a hard year on the director. Maybe he just needed a
vacation somewhere quiet.
Dawn hung up with Phil and went into the office. Tony was in there teasing Pepper. "Phil asked for a meeting."
"Why?" Tony asked with a grin. "He can't come to dinner tonight?"
"I reminded him of it. Fury asked if his ass had been used."
Tony sat up, staring at her. "Really." She nodded. "Why?"
"No clue. I felt Xander appear there though."
He and Pepper shared a look and she nodded. "If he needs one, we
can find something for him to do as a second career." Tony nodded
he agreed and they smiled at her. "Has someone asked one of you
"Natasha said someone asked her if we were good. Otherwise no. Not yet."
"If they do, you sue like hell," Tony told her. "We can keep it
quiet for the most part." She smiled and nodded, going back to her
desk to gather things for handing over. "Gee, thanks, just what I
always wanted," he said sarcastically.
"It's your budget for new tech pieces," she said dryly. "If you
don't want new parts for the suit and the labs, I can easily have
Accounting shift it to other areas, like a new plane." She took it
from him but he snatched it back with a smirk. She smiled at
Pepper. "Woman's Day called and wanted to set up an
interview." She handed over that slip. "I told her you were
about to go on vacation and then we had the Expo coming up. It
might have to be squeezed in or after that. She said that was
fine, she was hearing rumors and wanted to verify them."
"I can call and set it up," she said with a smile. "Anything on the bouncy one come out yet?"
"Two sites," she said, pulling them up in there. "Neither one credible."
One site, which was a trash tabloid rag that got sold beside registers,
had the screaming headline of 'Future Iron Man Being Carried Now' and a
picture of Pepper that was not really flattering and made her look
heavier. The other one was TMZ and caught her coming out of dinner
in a dress that was a bit tight. They speculated on a baby bump
or just a really huge dinner. Pepper sighed. "I like those
dresses. I didn't think they were that tight."
"You can lose it again soon," Dawn promised with a grin.
"I can, yes." She leaned back, laying a hand on her stomach. "What does Woman's Day want to know?"
"No clue. Didn't ask. She just mentioned rumors."
"I'll call later, maybe a phone one will do." She looked at Tony.
"I'm behind you all the way, holding up your super heavy dinner there,"
he promised with a smile. "Whatever you want, Pepper."
She nodded, sighing at the end. "I want to go to the
bathroom." She got up and went. The baby had her going on a
pretty rigid schedule anymore. Dawn was giggling. "Just
"Some year. When we're ready." She strolled out, going back
to her desk. She found Natasha there, looking at the
elevator. "Saw the blow up?"
"I did. We hacked security footage."
Dawn stared at her. "Is there an emergency that made you grab the energy core?"
"We miss working."
Tony walked out. "I can find you and the other Pepper something to
do, Natasha. It's not a problem." He walked her back down
to the containment cell. They had managed to hack their way out of
it. The original was still turned off. She was looking
pouty too. "Grounded?" he asked with a point.
"At her own insistence," robo Pepper complained. "We tried to help her but she doesn't want it."
"Some women don't," Tony promised. He got them some things.
"I need someone to proofread my upcoming articles and things for the
Scientific and Technology Expo." They smiled and nodded, getting
into them. "I also need to write a speech for the show off
portion." He smiled. "Pepper's a bit busy." Robo
Pepper stared at him. He grinned. "She went to the genius
sperm bank." They cooed. "I might slip you some of the work
if Dawn gets overloaded helping her. Okay?" They nodded and
got into the simple tasks. They had been very bored. Tony
let them keep the door unlocked for now. The dangerous one waking
up would make it shut down again. He made sure with JARVIS.
He went up to tell Pepper and Dawn that they had those for now. It
did solve some of the heavier work.
Callia looked over as Xander walked in with Phil. "Uncle Xander,
are you coming to dinner too?" she asked. "I didn't expect you and
I didn't make enough cookies."
He smiled. "Someone decided I should marry Phil."
She squealed and hugged them. "When do I get babies from you two?"
"Not for a very long time," Phil said dryly. She pouted. "We'd need a mommy, Callia."
"You can borrow Auntie Dawn or Auntie 'Tasha. Unclie Clint shouldn't need two to have babies with."
"Don't think so," Xander said.
"Shoot." She went back to the kitchen. She was helping cook
tonight. They hugged her on the way out to the heated patio
area. It was nearly Thanksgiving so they had the heaters going
Stark looked at him. "Yeah, if you sue him, we can find you
something mundane and quiet around here. I heard from Dawn."
"If not, I could use a good admin and another trainer," Xander quipped with a grin. "Am I one too many?"
"Of course not," Tony said dryly, waving a hand. "You're fine and
family, Xander. We all know you're the wife." Xander burst
out cackling and swatted him. He smirked back. "At least the
security sensors didn't catch you guys."
"I blocked them out," they said together. Stark cackled as he walked back to the grill.
"Is Dawn making out in a room somewhere?" Xander asked, looking around.
"No, she's at her desk for another twenty. Woman's Day wanted an
interview so she and Pepper are handling it." Natasha and Clint
walked in without Dawn. "See, only they were making out in the
"I'd never make out where there were cameras," Natasha said.
Clint shook his head. "Not exactly an exhibitionist most of the
time either." He flopped down. "We all got video of you
knocking him around, Xander, and of him singing show tunes due to the
high fever." He grinned at Coulson, who smirked back. "Nice
"Can you use that on him so you get a day off?" Xander quipped.
"Nah, I have plenty of leave time right now," Clint said. His
phone went off. "What?" he answered, listening to it. "I got
briefed on that mission in case they needed a sniper and they won't,"
he said firmly. "Which means it's not my area of expertise, Agent
Phil took the phone. "Sitwell, the Director is in a compromised
state again," he noted calmly and quietly. "If that's the mission
in Bulgaria, he'd never fit in." He listened. "That one
either. Yes, I know they have a past history, which is why he's
not a good choice."
Dawn walked out dusting her hands off. "If that's about the stupid
piece of shit warlord that tried to capture us in Brazil, he's here in
the city and I've already had a discussion with him of the dangling off a
roof sort because he tried to shoot my pretty ass." She took
kisses. Then the phone from Phil. "Agent... Oh, Agent
Sitwell, is it about that stupid warlord?"
She listened to the brief details. "He's been vamped. That
means it's actually my sister's job or Faith's job. Not Agent
Barton or Romanoff's jobs." She listened. "Yeah, he's still
vamped and I'm pretty sure if I had to I can use a crossbow. No, I
doubt he has much information since he's a figurehead the last time we
ran into him. His second, Pablo of all stupid names, was trying
really hard to hit on me before he found out I wasn't sixteen and then
he got disgusted that I was over the age of consent.
"He does have a sister that's a nun. He has a much younger sister
by his stepfather that just got sold into marriage with an arms
dealer. If we rescue her, she'd probably play along very well and
from what I saw of her, they ended her promising chemistry career.
Yes, her." She smiled. "Wouldn't that work better and
easier? You're more than welcome, Agent Sitwell. Thank
you." She hung up and tossed Clint his phone back. "There,
that cleans up a mess and gets a poor girl out of a hellhole." She
"Still not your job," Stark reminded her firmly.
"I know but I confused the reporter who heard I was pregnant and that
Pepper was gaining weight from stress nibbling." She strolled
off. "Apparently someone in the former KGB said they had dosed me
with something that made me go jump someone I was dating so I could give
them a future agent."
"Excuse me?" Phil demanded. He noticed Natasha had stiffened. "Oh, dear."
Dawn nodded. "Who said that?" Natasha asked, following Dawn to ask
her that in private. She pinned Dawn against the
refrigerator. "Who?" She hissed in her ear, taking a kiss
before walking off with her water. "That rumor will be stopped."
Callia looked at her. "Do I need to get mean and stabby someone?"
Natasha looked at her. "You should not even think about having to
stab people. Quit saying that." She walked off. Callia
pouted. "Stark, I told her to quit talking about stabbing
"Thank you. I think she's trying to protect everyone." They shared a look. "I think there's an open question?"
"They did dose us both with things and then used the subliminals to try
to get us to give them future agents. It did not work."
Dawn nodded. "That was months ago. We'd both be showing a lot if it had."
Stark nodded. "If and when you decide to get pregnant, we'll put
up a good, safe set of protections so any blood doesn't open a portal,
Dawn." She smiled at him for that. "Or maybe take it by
C-Section." He went back to flipping food over. One burger
dropped into the coals so he went to get another one.
Clint looked at his wife. "When did that bastard try to shoot you?"
"Late this afternoon when I was off running out for McKay's special
coffee. It was a pretty fast talk. He shot at me, I ducked,
popped up, shoved him off after hooking his belt to an iron peg, then
came back here to tell security so they could deal with him." He
smirked. She grinned. "I was a good girl."
"I'm sure you were," he said, pulling her closer. "You didn't shout?"
"I didn't need help."
"Uh-huh," Natasha said, moving up behind her. "We'll talk about
that later, after we find all the security footage and erase it."
"While you're at it, can you please erase all the stripping vids of me?"
Xander quipped. "I know I went on my roadtrip to get some
stress-free time and I know I was pretty drunk while doing it."
Dawn looked at him. "You really did go strip?"
"Yeah, and took down a biker gang. I needed the post-battle calming down."
Dawn pointed at Phil. "Next time, help each other." He
smirked and swatted her. She pulled a chair over, sitting next to
Clint. "I really need to change. I feel out of place with
the clothes." She got up and flashed home then came back.
"Better." She stretched out in her leggings and tunic, with a
belt. Clint stared at her. She smiled. "I'm comfy."
"You look comfy."
She poked him on the arm. "I got the new stories from that
Xander." He grinned. "They're pretty good. He's a
really good writer."
"He is," Clint agreed.
"I want to read them," Tony ordered.
"I can bring you the first one tomorrow, boss," Dawn quipped.
"There's like twenty-eight or something." He nodded that was
fine. "And a few others. Including a half-elf that makes bj
jokes at dwarves." He walked off shaking his head. She
looked at Natasha. "You read that one."
"I did. It was odd and yet very funny in a lot of places."
She settled in to get comfortable. The others in the family showed
up. Bruce was softly escorting Joyce. "Did more happen?"
"We have a follow up scan tomorrow," Joyce said with a smile.
"If there's a new tumor I'm going to finish destroying Riley's little
group of imbeciles," Dawn quipped with a smirk for her mother.
"It'll be good, clean fun."
"Not likely, dear. We're not sure it's still them."
"I'm still surprised that he brought his wife to interrupt Buffy's wedding," Xander said. "How immature and clingy is he?"
Joyce snickered. "A lot apparently."
"I'm just glad you got out all those 'so you thought I was normal'
feelings, Xander," Dawn said. He shot her a dirty look. "You
"I did," he agreed. Phil patted him. He leaned closer to
him. "We should go destroy Riley just for fun," he said quietly.
"I've already got an investigation into their unit started."
Xander beamed at him. He grinned back. "I don't like them
running around bothering the world either." He settled in to chat
with Banner and the others. Joyce was sipping water and talking to
Dawn about her day.
Pepper showed up. "Dawn, you may have to go out in something
slightly slinky and trashy to get that rumor stopped. Another
reporter asked me about it on my livejournal."
"I haven't clubbed in a long time," she quipped. She looked at her
mates. Who shrugged. "I don't feel right going out by
myself to pick up random dance partners."
Clint smothered his growl. Natasha didn't quite manage that.
"I don't think that would be a good idea either," Clint assured her.
"So take her out dancing," Pepper said with a smile. "Make sure
the outfit is showy enough to prove that she doesn't have a baby
bump." She sat down. "Tony, is it nearly ready?"
"Only if you want it very rare," he said with a grin for her. "Hungry? Callia's making the salad and pasta salads."
Pepper got up to get some and help Callia finish them so they could be
brought out. "This child of mine is a bit weird. It likes
"I used to mix some with chocolate sauce," Dawn admitted. "Ate it on english muffins."
"You did used to be the queen of weird food combinations," Pepper agreed
with a smile for her. "There were a few times I wondered if you
had managed to sneak out and get pregnant."
"There's still some now and then," Clint assured her.
"Crunchy peanut butter and chocolate marshmallows belong on eggos," Dawn
defended but she was smiling. "It's really good. Especially
when I mix that coffee creamer that no one likes into my coffee and use
that as a sauce."
Clint stared at her. "If you ever quit eating weird stuff we'll know to make you pee on a stick."
She pinched him. "You'd probably know before then."
"Maybe," he agreed. "There are other changes before food cravings."
Natasha said something quietly in his ear, making him cackle and
nod. "Then you definitely would." She settled in.
Callia and Pepper brought out their salads and it was good. "Nice
"Thank you, Auntie." She hugged her. Dawn magically took the weapon back from her. "I only wanted to look."
"No. No weapons until you're at least ten. Sorry."
Callia pouted. "I see them built."
"Yay," Tony said. He looked at her. "Did she pickpocket you, Natasha?"
"I let her. She's very unskilled in that art. I'll have to teach her."
Dawn grinned. "You did a good job with teaching me."
"Spike wasn't enough?" Xander complained.
"No." She smiled. "It came in handy."
"I'm sure it did."
"They taught me how to hotwire more cars too."
Xander shook his head. "It's a strange world we live in that it might be necessary."
"It's definitely not a set of skills I thought she'd need," Joyce said, staring at her daughter.
"Saved my butt, Mom, more than once. I even got my wallet back from a pickpocket before all that."
Joyce shook her head. "I should be worried but I'm not." She
hugged her little girl. "No teaching your niece unless she might
"Thank you, dear. Wear that new lavender dress clubbing."
Dawn nearly blushed. She smiled. "It's a bit naughty but it
will show that you're not pregnant."
"I'd have to do a bit of shaving for that," she said dryly. Clint
stared at her. She shrugged. "Mom found it the other
day. Said it was hotter on me even if it is a Buffy dress."
She made herself not blush.
"So it's backless and makes someone think of hos?" Xander guessed.
"Not really. Covers of magazines maybe."
He nodded once. "Wear real clothes, okay?"
She smirked. "Maybe. I do have a catsuit."
"Lavelle's Dawn wore them all the time when she was pretending to be an
art thief," Xander quipped. "Then she married a cop so she quit
that bad habit. Had like seven kids or something." She
whimpered. "Yeah. Exactly."
"No thank you." She looked at Pepper. "Speaking of Lavelle,
that reminded me. The Japan trip in the spring. We have a
formal tea ceremony scheduled. Do I need to find a kimono?"
She considered it. "I don't know," she admitted. "Call their
assistant tomorrow to get information on that? That way we can
both find one and figure out how to put it on."
"I know," Natasha told them. They grinned at her. "It does not show any sort of shape."
Dawn sighed. "I've seen. We went year before last for a long
meeting. The hosts in the company took us all to a geisha
bar. I spent most of the night asking them about their musical
training and poetry skills." Tony shook his head with a
groan. "He and the hosting people were getting very lit with three
of the younger maiko. The elder geisha over their training was
smiling tolerantly at the men but talking to Pepper and me."
Pepper nodded. "She was very nice. It sounds like a hard life though."
Dawn nodded. "Especially since she said some of the girls went
bald because of the hair styles. They had to sleep with their
necks on wooden blocks, and no other support, so they wouldn't smash the
"I've seen," Natasha admitted. "I could never pass though."
Dawn looked at her. "Really?" She smiled and nodded. "Pictures?"
"Shoot." She leaned back again. "Clint, have you went to wear a pretty kimono?"
"Nope, not really my style." He grinned at his tease and his flirt. They were getting it later.
Pepper smiled. "They did want you to have no waist, wanted your whole body to look like a rectangular block."
Dawn nodded. "They did."
Clint shook his head. "When you go to Fiji next time, get a new sarong?"
"I have three in the closet that's mostly empty. Loki was laying on them earlier."
Xander looked at her. "My father?" He wouldn't put it past
his father to be curled up in Dawn's closet fondling her clothes but it
wasn't his usual thing. Maybe an extra special kink night where
he'd be dressed up prettily?
"No, the cat. Cap named him. Speaking of, where is he?" she asked Tony. "He's never this late."
"Not sure," he said, pulling out his phone. "His phone is
off." He got into an app that let him turn on someone's phone
remotely. It turned and listed him as being in the river. "I
think someone took it. It's in the river by the bridge."
Phil searched with Xander, finding him. "He's in a car. Heading for JFK," Phil said.
Xander nodded. "There's a nice thing after that but it'll mess up
traffic." He and Phil went to handle it. Xander waved at the
police car that went past them then picked up a boulder to throw at the
right car. It smashed the hood, the car stopped.
Phil walked over. "SHIELD. Get out of the car. Hands
up." They did and he got them under arrest while Xander woke up
Steve, who was sedated. "He good?"
"Pretty heavy dose. He's not waking." He glared at
one. "Do you know who I am?" The man started to cry.
"What did you give him and in what dosage?" The man whimpered in
Spanish. Xander stared at him. "Really?" Police cars
sped up. "Hi, guys."
"You work with SHIELD during battles," one of the officers said, hand on his gun.
"I'm with SHIELD," Phil said, pulling his ID. "That's Captain
Rogers they were snatching." The officers nodded and helped them
search the car for weapons. They took the idiots in so Phil could
have them picked up. Steve got taken with them back to Tony's
house. They laid him on the couch and let the infirmary people
know so they could check on him. Then they went to dinner.
Phil answered his phone twenty minutes later.
"Coulson." He listened. "Yes, that was us, Director.
Because they had Captain Rogers hostage and sedated, sir." He ate a
bite. "At the Stark infirmary. We're having a team and
family dinner tonight so we brought him back here. Because Dr.
Pigalli is a very good, quiet doctor and he does like her touch with
injuries. I would if she wasn't here but he does prefer this
infirmary. You can ask him when he gets up, sir. He's still
sedated. Spanish I believe." Xander nodded. "Yes, they
answered in Spanish."
"Probably the idiots in Peru that wanted Callia," Dawn muttered then
stuffed her mouth. Tony's fork dropped and he stared at her.
"They were watching the park's playground so I called in NYPD and had
them arrested as pervs, boss."
"Good! Thank you! Why did they want her?"
"The same reason I had to beat someone British the day the robomutt bit me?" she guessed. "I didn't ask."
Phil covered the mouthpiece. "It was an attempt to get tech,
namely weapons," he said then uncovered the mouthpiece. "Sorry,
sir, answering Stark about someone that was found watching his
daughter." He listened, eating another bite. "No, sir, only
that one boulder and Xander threw it." He smiled. "I'm not
really suited to throwing boulders, sir. I will leave a note
saying that you need a call when he wakes up, sir." He hung up and
put his phone away. "I think he's more paranoid than Dawn."
"I have good reasons for mine," Dawn quipped. Her phone beeped so
she pulled it out to look at it. "I've been ignoring my emails all
day." She got into it quickly, snorting at a few. She
handed Natasha her phone. "Your former boss said you're pretty."
She looked at those, mentally snarling. "We must talk with them."
Dawn smiled. "We must?"
"No, you will be safely sitting at home," she said.
"Amen," Tony quipped.
Dawn stuck her tongue out at him. "Watch me use salt water next time to baby your injuries from a test."
"Keep it up, I'll make you wear real clothes for the rest of the month."
"It's not like I show up naked and in an illusion," she said dryly.
"Nothing flirty at all," he said.
She snorted. "That leaves me very little. Even my business
suits make me look good, even the ones that make me look way too old
still get my butt stared at."
"They do. It's because you're still young," Pepper sighed. "When I was twenty, everyone stared at me too."
"Everyone still stares at you," Dawn assured her with a smile. "I get not a bit of notice when we're together."
"That's because I'm a CEO now."
"Even before then."
Pepper blushed. "Really?"
"Really. That girl the other day in the store? She was
flirting hard with you. Not with me, who looked hot if the
reactions of security was any indication, but with you."
Pepper blushed but smiled. "I didn't realize that." She stuffed her mouth.
Tony smiled. "If I had to choose I'd choose you too.
Experience makes your mind wicked and sharp where hers is pointy and
naughty." Pepper blushed harder but swatted him on the arm and
went back to eating.
"Hey, Xander, didn't Lavelle use that choker to make up other identities beyond his female one?"
"He had a whole binder of identities he worked out, with backstories on
most of them. Including one that looked half-asian and female so
it wouldn't look odd when she was with Fujiko while she was
post-birth. Even ones for anime festivals if he wanted to go as a
school girl or a warrior wench." Clint was staring at him
oddly. "Lavelle's had fun with his."
"I bet," he agreed, nodding some. "He goes to anime conventions?"
"He schedules his heists and all that around the anime festival
schedule. They made him promise not to steal at them but some of
the guys in Interpol that were chasing him went to them too. They
had a truce during them and all that. He and Ishi went. He
even went as Martian us once." He beamed. "He makes a great
giant furry mouse."
Dawn looked at him. "Throttle and that Xander did have *really* soft fur."
Tony stared at her. "What?" She found the cartoon on her
phone and let him watch it. He stared then at her. "You're
"They're really nice guys. That Xander's married to Throttle, the
one with the special sunglasses because he's blind without them.
Willow made him a mouse as her dying wish." She ate some rice.
Tony stared at Clint. "She's warped."
"Just a bit," he agreed, taking the phone to look at it. "I saw
this a few times while we were in a hotel waiting on something about a
"I remember," Phil agreed.
"Author Xander is married to a former KGB guy," Dawn quipped. "They flirted over golf."
Phil stared at her. "I wonder if he's here."
"Not that I've seen," Xander said. "I asked someone to look." He shrugged.
Natasha shook her head. "I couldn't find his name anywhere so probably not."
"It's spreading," Clint told Tony, who nodded.
"Sividia Xander had really soft wings," Dawn offered.
"I have the wing spell," Xander said happily. "I loved that spell."
"I remember," Joyce said, shaking her head. "You had it going when Callia was born."
"Really?" Callia asked. "Why wings?" she asked Xander.
"Another me had wings thanks to a spell that changed him. I wanted to try it. It was really neat."
She looked at her father, opening her mouth. Tony was already
shaking his head. "No, not until you're eighteen and can do it on
your own, dear."
"Sorry. You have to learn about aerodynamics first anyway. That way you don't crash when you try to fly."
"I guess I can do that."
"You can but it's a higher science so you'll probably be in your teens at least."
"Okay, I can do that," she decided. Joyce smiled and hugged her. "Thanks, Grandma."
"Maria said she was babysitting the twins," Xander realized.
"After dinner," Tony said. "That way they can have the night off."
"I can watch them," Phil said.
"Tara said you'd be busy." He stuffed his mouth. "New couple
stuff." Phil quirked an eyebrow up then shook his head and got
back to his own dinner.
"What other Xanders were there?" Pepper asked.
"Three of the hormone suffering Xanders, all with long hair. One
has horses. Two of them had ferrets." She grinned.
"He's a really nice guy but an anchor." Phil choked, he knew what
that meant. "For Ares, Cupid, and Strife." Xander
whimpered. "There was the Xander in the new D&D world.
There's comic shop Xander. There's mini Xander's and the two from
"The mini Xanders were all created by the Draco in one world, who had
been banished to the same spot with Harry, Dean, and Sam
Winchester. They were found to be too interfering so they got sent
by demons. Then someone made a wish and brought that Xander to
another Xander, but it deaged him so they were the same age. The
Army of Der were really nice. Some were eight inches, some were
four inches high. They helped those two Xanders and his cohorts
Sam, Dean, Harry, and Draco."
"The Army of Der?" Phil asked.
"Yeah, over a hundred miniature Xander, with a miniature Dean, a
miniature Sam, and a miniature Harry and Draco on the main council over
Phil shivered. "That's a bad sign for that world."
"I nearly packed one. They can cook, lay protections, and are very protective."
"Like my mousy person friend?" Callia asked.
Dawn grinned. "Just about their size, yup." Callia wiggled and dug into her salad again.
"A hundred mini Xanders, twin full size Xanders, two demon hunters, two wizards," Phil said. "That poor world."
"All with very little inhibitions," Dawn quipped with an evil
smirk. "The original Xander, not the one with the army, but the
other one, said that he had walked in on some things he did not want to
"I can see that happening," Phil agreed, stuffing his mouth. A
hundred mini Xanders having an orgy. He'd die watching it.
Xander beamed at him. "Don't even think about it."
"I'm not but I might ask to borrow one to send to Grandfather and Dad."
Tony was rubbing his forehead. "I can't even imagine what Loki could do with a miniature you, Xander."
Dawn cackled. "The Der were trying to pack themselves while those two Xander went on a road trip."
Pepper shivered. "Did they have a SHIELD office there?" she asked.
"Oh, dear," Phil said. "That's going to be messy."
"Well, they do have Xander's psycho drawing ability," Dawn said
dryly. "The tougher, meaner Xander got them dates by taking his
twin clubbing and letting all the nicely armed women hit on him.
He had to number the knife carrying ones."
Phil looked at Clint. "It's not my fault," Clint defended.
Dawn patted him on the arm. "It's a great convention.
Especially with President Xander teaching some self defense and stuff."
Natasha wiped her mouth. "Excuse us. I think she's fevered
now." She got up and helped Dawn up. "Take us home."
She did. Clint could get home the normal way and take a second
shift of helping Dawn calm down. Natasha could strap Dawn down and
drive her nuts for a few hours without help.
Clint pointed. "Can I have seconds please, Pepper?" She
smiled and handed over the plate of hamburgers. "Thanks."
Xander smiled. "President Xander was really pretty normal.
The people voted in O'Neill because they felt safer after a demon
society that wanted ultimate peace took out all the world leaders down
to the Cabinet levels and a lot of senates all over the world."
Stark stared at him. "Is that demon species here?"
"Yeah, they are. It was O'Neill and Sheppard, and O'Neill married
Buffy. Then Sheppard with the me there as his VP, then me and Evan
Lorne. The people voted us in even without us campaigning or
anything. The whole 'he'll make us safe' thing turned into 'what's
the next best thing to a general, a colonel' campaign on the internet."
Tony shivered. "We'd definitely never be screwed with again."
Loki, the human one, appeared, staring at his son. "The you in another realm was president?"
"Yes," he said with an evil smirk. "I served one term because I
begged to be let go of. I had the big gay wedding of the century
there with Ezra, you know Demeter's son I'm sure. I brought him up
during the convention so he could talk to that him there about various
threats they had shared."
His father sighed. "Are you ill, son? Poisoned?"
"I wasn't a demi there, Dad."
He looked at his son. "Where did you meet this other you?"
"At the convention of Xanders. There's over three hundred of us, counting the Army of Der as one."
His father blinked, staring at him. "The what?"
Xander created a mirror that showed the last convention. "That's
me too," he said with a point and a grin. "Willow made sure I'd be
compatible with my spouse there." Phil quietly got seconds on his
own dinner. He'd clearly need the extra energy too.
Loki watched, whimpering at what he was seeing. "I thought I was
the chaos god," he complained, popping off. The mirror got left
there before he had more of a migraine. His spouse understood him
going to bed early and curling up in a tiny ball.
Clint took it to look at, staring at one. "Is that you with the white hair?"
"Oh." He kept watching, staring in horror at a few of them.
"The long haired ones are pretty decent guys." He let Bruce take
it and shut it down. He got thirds. He would have to do a
lot of work to get that out of Dawn's head.
"No making an army of little Dawns," Tony warned.
"Andrew could probably make tiny robotic ones," Xander offered.
"Hell. No," Clint ordered. "One is good. We like
having one Dawn." He wouldn't mention that birthday present if no
one else wouldn't.
Xander stared at him. "One is usually more hyper perkiness than anyone needs, yeah."
Phil patted him on the arm. "How many of them are CSI?"
Xander counted. "Five, six because of the twins." He grinned. "I did remember that demonic forensics books."
"Thank you. I'd like to see those," Stark said.
"Sure." He smiled and dug back in.
Phil added more food to his plate. "Eat." Xander smirked at
him but did eat. Tara and Maria walked in with the twins.
"Evening," he said, taking them to cuddle. They gave him a cuddle
then got down to wander around. "Stark, watch the pool?"
"There's a forcefield around it." That got him patted by Tara and
Maria. "So, we're talking about the convention of Xanders," he
Maria looked at Xander. "How many?"
"Over three hundred of us." He smiled.
"Does that realm have a SHIELD office? I'll send them a sympathy card."
"No. It's a created tiny realm."
"Good!" She walked Tara off. "Thanks for the sitting, Stark."
"Not a problem. Kids, hungry?" They cooed and went to play
inside. Callia followed them. Tony sighed, looking at the
others. Clint was cleaning his plate. "Everyone have fun
curing the headaches?"
"I'm sure we will," Joyce quipped, cracking Bruce up, even if he was blushing some. "Xander, did more than our Dawn go?"
"No, it's usually just us and our spouses or boyfriends. For some
reason not a lot of us had girlfriends. Very few of us had
kids. President Xander had Ezra's team and puppies. His St.
Bernards died." He smiled. "Don't worry, if we destroy this
world, we're all to fall back to Lavelle's island of hos or to Miami
with one of the long-haired Xanders."
"Island of hos?" Pepper asked.
"He created an island retreat for his thieves. He hired a bunch of
hos, who had right of refusal, and brought them there. It's a
beautiful island paradise that means he knows his men won't stray."
Pepper wiped her mouth. "I can't imagine you as a thief," she admitted.
He grinned. "I had my reasons but he's a very good gunman.
Not as much of a thief, but he does really good training with swords and
stuff too. One of them is a samurai and he helped train him."
"Excuse us," Phil said. "I think I need to take a report on this before they show up here."
"Only Lavelle usually travels," Xander quipped. "Then he's bored."
"I'll keep that in mind if a more dangerous you shows up," Pepper said
with a smile. She and Joyce waved as they popped off. She
looked at Tony. "No, you can't have one."
"I don't want an island like that. There's very few women I'd stock on it." She swatted him.
"I saw a picture of all of Lavelle's family. There's a lot of
older kids too," Joyce said with a smile. "He had two sets of
twins and a single, Pepper."
Pepper stared. "Wow. Ow but a lot of kids."
Joyce smiled and nodded. "There's a fertility spell that can work with that choker."
"Well, if Barton gets pregnant he can take a leave from the team," Tony
decided. Banner choked but nodded. "I'm sure his women will
"Probably," Joyce agreed, smiling at Bruce.
"We should hide that choker," he said.
"They use it for birthday presents," Tony said smugly. Bruce
shivered and took Joyce home. He was nice enough to let her kiss
the babies but he needed them at home right away. Tony looked at
Pepper, who smiled at him but shook her head. "It's never boring
with this group."
"No, it's not." She started to get up but Tony pulled her into his lap. "Did we need something?"
"I don't know, did you?" he asked in her ear. She shivered.
"I have executive and captainly permission to help you if you do,
She looked at him. "He did?"
"He did." He grinned. "He was going to tell you that
later." She blushed and ducked her head. He kissed her on
the cheek. "So if you need *anything*, let us know."
"I'm not turning into Barton and needing two of them, but there's some
understanding there." She nodded and got up, kissing him on the
forehead before leaving, still blushing hard. He got up to put
things away and do the dishes. Callia was reading to the
twins. "Why are you reading about robots?"
"Voltron, Daddy. I like it."
"Okay. Is that an approved story?"
"It's G rated," JARVIS said. "Barely."
"Fine." She went back to reading to them. Sometimes his daughter worried him.
Phil and Xander got home, and sealed themselves in. "Strip," Phil ordered.
Xander grinned. "Really? We're going to do that here?"
"Yes, you are." He moved closer to help him take off his
t-shirt. "I need to prove I learned how to do things last
night. Think of it like a pop quiz."
"Does that mean I'm on the bottom?" Xander asked.
"If you're okay with that."
"It does take some trust."
"But I think we can try that. If not, I'll flip you over."
Phil smirked and helped Xander out of his jeans. "Are we doing
this out here?"
"Just the stripping parts." Phil got his own once Xander was
naked. "I read about something and picked up things over my
"What'd you get?" he teased, moving closer to kiss him.
"An enema kit?"
Xander moaned. "Damn."
"Don't like? Do like? Too much too soon?" Phil offered.
"I don't mind. Needs to be the right temperature."
"I've had a medical one." He took him into the very nice and
spacious bathroom, helping him get ready. They warmed it together
under running water and then he sat down on the toilet, putting Xander
over his lap. "I should spank for all the bad ideas."
"Dawn started it."
"I know that. She was begging for her own correction." He
smoothed a hand over Xander's butt. "I lube the tip, right?"
Xander nodded. He did that and then slowly slid the disposable
bottle in. Xander tensed up but he stroked his back like the
section on that had said to. Xander relaxed and it went all
right. At the end, he let Xander have some privacy while Phil made
sure he had what he wanted in the bedroom. He came back when the
shower came on, climbing in with him. "I just realized we didn't
use a single condom last night," he said.
Xander kissed him. "I use a protection spell but no, I don't
usually." Phil stared at him. "It's like a power version of a
condom so I don't have to deal with the lack of feeling."
Phil kissed him. "You're clean and all that?" Xander
nodded. "Just making sure. I'd hate to lose you to killing
you if you gave me something." He stared at him.
"Good." He took another kiss. "I like the idea of us not
needing one between us." Xander moaned and kissed him again.
"No protection. You can't get me pregnant. I'm clean.
"That would be a true mating, Phil."
"If I was Tara would you be using one?" He stared into his eyes.
Phil shook his head. "Not unless she was totally adamant against
the pill." Xander relaxed. "I'd get snipped first."
Xander groaned and kissed him. Phil cleaned them both up and took
them to the bedroom once Xander had toweled them dry. The bed was
nicely ready for them. He shoved Xander onto it and leaned down to
kiss him. "Let's see, I start here," he said when he pulled back,
nibbling on his earlobe. Xander went tense and moaned. Phil
smirked evilly and laid down to tease Xander to death before he got him
ready for him. A bite to a nipple, a stroke over a sensitive
side. A lick to that same side that drove Xander to arch up and
moan. Then, the teasing blow job. It was a wonderful
thing. Xander was gripping the headboard so hard the wood was
squeaking as it compressed. Phil was loving this teasing
thing. Now he understood what Dawn got out of it. He found
the lube and used it on Xander, making him whimper. "If you want,
I'll stop," he offered.
"I'm going to murder you if you do," Xander growled. "Phil!"
Phil chuckled around the cock he had pulled into his mouth again.
He went up to two fingers and Xander wiggled. He found the
prostate nub he had read about and teased it. Xander went
rigid. He pulled off. "Too much?" Xander nodded
quickly so he eased off and went back to the stretching. Xander
was nearly sobbing in need so Phil moved up and slid in, making Xander
keen with need. "Shh, I'm here." He rode him slowly, wanting
to get used to this. Xander needed more and tried to get them to
flip over. He kissed him. "No, I like this." Xander
panted, staring at him. "When you're ready, you can come as hard
as you want," he said with a grin.
"You want me on my knees."
"When you're ready. Not before then." He took another kiss,
holding their hands together as he slowly went back to riding him.
"I'm not interested in anything you're not willing to give,
Xander." Xander moaned and wiggled. "Not tonight."
"You're not ready yet," he soothed. "When you are, I'll come home
to find you waiting on me." He leaned down to hiss dirty things in
his ear. "I'll come home to find you naked on the bed, on your
knees, waiting on me, hard and already stretched so all I have to do is
take you." Xander whimpered and his breath hitched. "Pretty,
all nicely clean, maybe a bit lotioned or oiled down." Xander
came and clutched him. "Shh, I have you." He finished off
and laid down to calm Xander down. "Did I set off a bad
thought?" Xander nodded. "Shh, I'm sorry."
"S'okay. Been a long time."
Phil kissed him. "It's not okay."
Xander snuggled in. "Was fine." He teased his chest. "You'll have to do more later."
"Of course I am if you want me to." He laid there and let his
spouse cuddle. It was a nice feeling. They could definitely
make this marriage work. Xander looked up at him. "No
reading my mind."
He smiled. "I was worried about that part."
"I know. I'm still a miserable, brooding bastard at times."
"We all have those days, Xander." He stroked over his hair.
He said something he had Dawn look up for him in Norse, which cracked
Xander up. "I know, my pronunciation is bad."
"Just a bit." Xander settled in to teach him. It was a sweet
sentiment, said between battlefield companions. 'I'll always
protect and cherish the gifts you give me' was very sentimental for
Clint finally made it home to find Natasha worn out. Dawn was on
her back, tied down, making begging noises. He kissed
Natasha. "Did she wear you out?" he teased.
"Yes. I made the mistake of letting her tease me. She's being evil tonight."
He took another kiss. "I love her in this mood." He stripped
off his shirt and pants, staring at her. She was watching
him. "So, Short Stuff, being an evil tease again? We'll have
to turn you back into the good, sweet princess." He dropped his
boxer briefs and moved to the bed. She was kitty smirking at
him. He leaned down to kiss her. "I think we'll have to
teach you about teasing." He got what he wanted, bouncing the
vibrator in his hand. Of course, his phone went off. Natasha
grabbed it for him.
"It is a bad time," she noted. "He's in the bathroom." She
listened. "That's not his duty or his area of expertise.
Thank you anyway." She hung up and turned off all their
phones. If it was really important, JARVIS would tell them.
Clint was gently teasing her with the vibrating egg set. Right now
he was teasing her nipples, which were perky and hard. Dawn was
wiggling a bit. Natasha moved to nibble on her inner thigh, a
known Dawn weakness. Dawn hiccuped. "We should let her find
ten minutes of relief," she noted. "That way she can pee."
Clint nodded. "I could like that. Though I like her sweaty."
"I doubt I could like this," Dawn panted.
He unhitched her and took her in there, helping her sit down since her
thighs were so shaky. "Pee and then we'll have fun." He
strolled off to set up a few diversions. He came back and she was
still trying. "I know guys have that problem," he teased, making
her blush. "Please! Saw you behind the trees while camping,
Dawn." She blushed harder and he kissed her, making her moan and
go limp. Since she quit trying, it worked. He winked and
strolled out again. "Clean up and come here."
"Yes, dear." She finished up and cleaned up as good as she could,
then used a damp washcloth from the shower. She walked out.
He stared at her. "Used your washcloth."
"That's fine." He kissed her and laid her down, looking her over. "Hmm, haven't shaved recently."
"I'll have to before we go on vacation by the lake. I can't wear a bikini when I look so hairy."
"I don't mind here at the house." He leaned down to kiss her
stomach. "Yup, used my washcloth. You taste like my
soap." He went to get a clean one and she blushed harder. He
smirked. "I like you clean for me. That way I can make you
just as dirty as you do me when you handcuff me in the shower."
The cloth got put aside and he went back to teasing her. He laid
down beside her, using the vibrating egg to slowly tease her sensitive
spots, making her wiggle. He tied her back down and went back to
being an evil tease. By the time he was ready to move on, she was a
begging pile of girlish goo. He smiled and moved on to tease with
"Clint," she moaned. "You'd complain if I did this to you."
"Only if it's at three in the morning. I can go on a few hours of
sleep tomorrow. So can you. We taught you that." He
took a kiss. "Unless you want me to stop?" She shook her
head frantically. He smiled. "Good." He went back to
teasing her with his fingers. She spread out for him. "Hmm,
not time for that yet." He leaned down to tease her breast, making
her hiss. He checked, Natasha was asleep. That was
handy. That meant no one could save her. He leaned down to
tease her belly button, making her giggle and wiggle again. "Still
too wiggly. Have to wear that out," he teased.
Someone broke in the porch doors. "I'll save the fair damsel," he announced.
Clint and Natasha both came out with guns. "Who the fuck are you?" Clint demanded.
"No, you're a wannabe," he said, wounding him. He tossed him in
the hall, calling it in to SHIELD and Stark security. Natasha got
the door fixed. Dawn was cackling. "Dawn, did you know about
"It was in the _New Yorker_ last week."
Clint put his gun back under the pillow. Natasha put hers under
her pillow. He kissed her. "No one's going to save you from
us. I'd have to ruin them." He kissed her again as he laid
down overtop of her. "Are you down?"
"Language," he teased. She babbled at him in Chinese, getting
kissed. She switched to German, which made him laugh at the filthy
language she was using. "Not a good girl's mouth; I'll have to
clean it up." He pulled himself up and over her head.
"Lick. Clean us both up." She moaned and sucked on
him. He had taught her well. She was damn good at this
art. He finally pulled back and smirked. "Are you going to
be a good girl? Only good girls get fucked tonight. Bad
girls get teased all night and then screwed tomorrow after work."
She whimpered. He smirked.
"I think that's the sound of naughtiness," Natasha teased.
"Remember, we can do this to you too," Dawn panted.
Natasha kissed her. "I have done it to myself in the past."
She winked. They got Dawn set up with the vibrating panties they
had bought for her. Clint had the remote. Dawn was locked in
them and she was already needy. It had a nice sized plug for each
hole. It was a nice invention. They put her between them
and teased her until they fell asleep. Clint still had the remote
in his hand so Dawn couldn't find relief that night. The low, very
subtle, barely moving vibrating plug was going to drive her nuts all
Dawn showed up the next morning. She was wearing what Natasha had
picked out, down to the stupid vibrating panties that kept catching her
attention at the wrong time and stockings. She was pouty.
She was distracted. She nearly ran over Pepper and had to
apologize. Pepper stared at her. "Not good last night?"
"They're evilly mean to me, Pepper."
"Why?" she asked with a smile.
Dawn looked around and hissed in her ear. "And I can't pick the lock, it's in the back," she muttered.
Pepper laughed. "Not really appropriate work attire, and we have
meetings most of today." Dawn winced. "I'll call one of
them." She gave her a nudge. "Go get Stark up. He's
still asleep with Steve."
"Yup, I'll try." She sighed and went up there.
Tony blinked at her when she walked into the penthouse. "I gave
Pepper a pair of those one year. She nearly beat me to death with a
"I'm considering it since we have meetings today." He winced,
getting up with a yawn to head for the shower. She nudged Steve,
who woke up with a flail. She blocked the instinctive hit.
"Morning. Did you talk to Fury last night? The pervert
wanted to know why you preferred our infirmary to theirs."
"Pervert?" he asked, looking confused.
"Yeah, again. Tried to have Phil checked to see if he and Xander had sex."
Steve blushed. "I like yours, the doctors are nicer and sweeter."
Dawn smiled. "They are. I like them for the same
reason." She smiled. "Tony's in the shower. We have
meetings most of the day. Want me to call the caf?"
"I can make breakfast. Is my phone on vibrate?" He was looking around for it.
She blushed. "Not exactly." She fled.
He found his phone and stared. No missed calls. So what had
caused that buzzing noise? Maybe Tony's electric razor? He
went into the bathroom to check and take his own shower. Tony
pulled him in with him. He was freshly shaved so it had to have
been that. His sleep fuddled mind accepted that idea easily.
On the way down to the office, Dawn hissed something at Clint that made
him turn it off and tell her he'd apologize if Cap figured it out.
She sighed in relief. He hit it with one good shot then turned it
back off with a promise of it going on at lunch. She showed him
her schedule and he pouted. She sighed and promised she'd wear it
all night, on whatever speed he wanted, if he let her attend the
meetings. It had been embarrassing enough that Pepper had to be
told and Tony had realized. He agreed and let it go. She sighed
and got off the elevator, locking their link back down again.
Pepper was staring at her. "They're both up."
"That's good." She stared at her stomach. "Someone's having a problem."
Dawn looked and winced, heading home to change. Natasha showed up
to check on her. She had only been upstairs since it was her day
off. "No idea. Bit warm though."
"I've had something like that give me actual burns," Natasha admitted,
helping her out of it to check. It had caused a small burn and a
scratch that was bleeding at a good pace. They got it stopped and
Dawn redressed, sending her back. This new vibrator worked when
she called her phone.
Dawn winced, going down to the infirmary to ask about burn creams.
They gave her an odd look until she hissed in the nurse's ear.
"Done that," she admitted. "One of those little things that go
over the vibrator." She got her something and handed it
over. "Light coating."
"Thank you." She went back upstairs to put some on and hide the
tube in her purse for the day. It had helped some. She could
walk almost normally now. She walked into the office and Tony
stared at her. "What?" she demanded at his long stare.
"Those things are dangerous. Turn off your phone." He sipped his coffee.
He took her phone and turned it off as it was set to ring. "Nearly
caused an accident with an ex and one of those," he muttered, handing
her the phone back. He texted Barton to leave her alone for the
day. He needed her working. He could have her on Saturday
when they were doing the file cleaning. He sighed and
agreed. He noticed how she was walking and pointed.
"Go put on whatever you need to fix." She left to do that.
He sighed. He had seen her pick up a tube and looked up the
security footage to be nosy. He sent a nasty text to Barton about
that too. He apologized and said he'd stop it. "Thank you,"
he muttered, going back to his coffee. He sent him a better
package of toys that would make Dawn happier and not bother her at
work. He'd get them later that day since the local shop delivered
for very good customers. Which he was.
Clint winced at the newest text message. "I didn't know it would do that."
"I have an order in for shovels," Coulson said from behind him. "Should I add to it?"
"You might." He put his phone up after erasing all the text
messages. It meant he lost a mushy one from Natasha but it was
safer since he worked with the elite nosy people. "I didn't
realize something would get too warm with repeated use."
Phil shook his head. "They can, or so I'm told." He walked
off. He'd beat him about that later on. Clint looked
miserable enough over it. Besides, that was Dawn's job to beat him
for that this time. When someone showed up around lunch time for
him, security called. He went down. "Yes?"
"Agent Coulson, I was told this was for an Agent Barton that no one can find. You were the second delivery name."
He looked up. Then he texted him. Clint came off the next elevator. "Who sent him what?" Phil asked.
He smiled. "I'm with Magdon Street Clit Shop." Clint choked
and spluttered. "One of our better customers sent that special
package so he would have a better set of ideas that might not
overheat." He accepted the tip Phil gave him and happily left.
Phil looked at him. "It wasn't Dawn."
"I've only heard of that place," he complained.
"I've been in there but it was picking up something for someone's
assignment." He walked off smirking. Stark had struck again.
Clint waited until he was in his rooms he hardly ever used to open
them. Inside was an interesting assortment that he had to look up
to find the uses of. Even Natasha was blushing about some of
it. He was going to beat Stark to death with a dildo for having it
Andrew and Jonathan smiled as Dawn came in to check on them, then Andrew scowled. "Did they hurt you?" he demanded.
"No!" She patted him on the cheek. "We played a bit too
hard, Andrew, that's all. Sometimes things can overheat and it
did." He glared at her, one foot tapping. "You look like my
mom when you do that. I'm fine. Really. It was fully
fun until the thing overheated. Can you maybe relax before I lose
your day off paperwork?" He blanched but nodded, ducking his
head. She hugged them both. "Thank you for caring." He
grinned at her. "Now, need anything? Got reports?"
They handed them over. "What's going on? You look sheepish,
like you just made new magical tech."
"No, not really. Long talk with the girls," Jonathan said.
"Okay. How's that going?" They smiled and babbled about
their not-quite girlfriends. "Good!" She hugged them both
again. "Remember to talk to Stark if you get confused. He's
had *billions* of girlfriends." They laughed and let her go.
She finished up with her usual path to nag the boss. "Day off
He looked and signed. "Only the one's going out?"
"I guess. Jonathan didn't say anything." She shrugged and
walked off. "Weren't you supposed to take Callia to the baby
doctor today?" He checked and swore, getting up to grab her and
bring her there. She walked off shaking her head. Sometimes
Stark was worse than a kid. She sat down at her desk, sending
things where they needed to go. Pepper signed off on the day off
forms and handed them back. "I'll copy and post." She
answered her phone. "Thank you for calling Stark International,
how may I direct your call?"
She listened. "Yes, ma'am, I am Dawn. Is there a
problem?" She listened then smiled. "I know Andrew very
well. He and MaryBeth... no, she's going by that name here.
She felt it gave her better credibility to use the initials. No,
Andrew's a sweet, young guy. My sister finished high school with
him and Jonathan. He's a sweet, shy young man, ma'am. He'd
never hurt anyone and it took them weeks to do more than stare at each
other. Actually, no, MB made the first move during the halloween
party we throw for the staff each year. She asked him to
She grinned. "He's the sweetest guy, he's like a brother and I've
helped him a lot since he moved here to this lab. Including
letting him carefully explore and get to know people he wasn't used to
being around. No, he'd never hurt her. He's a nice guy and
he'd never hurt her. No matter what. They're what?
That's news to me. If I had known I wouldn't have made the joke
about losing his day off paperwork. No, I won't. I like the
boys like brothers and I won't upset them that way.
"I'll ask and see if they will hold off for a few days." She
pulled out her cellphone and turned it on, texting him. He was on
her quick list. She got one back in person by Andrew coming off
the elevator. "Let me put you on hold, MB's Mom. I'll ask
and see if he'll hold it off for a few days so you can meet him before
the wedding." She put her on hold and stared at him. "Why
didn't you tell me! I would've thrown a party and stuff!"
"We wanted to do it quickly before we lost the urge."
"You have the prenup and all that?"
"Prenup. It's a legal document that lays out what each of you has and keeps if you break up, Andrew."
"Is it like mandatory?" he asked.
"No but it's considered good sense in case something happens and you two
divorce. That way you can't fight over patents. If you ask
MB, she'd probably agree."
"I didn't want it to get that complicated."
"Legal can draw one up in under twenty minutes probably. Bring in a
list of what each of you have in the way of patents and stuff you
own." He nodded, texting that to her. "Tell her that I've
got her mother on hold. She wants you two to wait for a few days
so she can meet you."
She came off the next elevator. "No! No, no no. Mom
will try to run him over. She's not like your mom, Dawn. She
doesn't understand science, or me, or really any humanoid being, but
she's not like that."
"Okay. Sit." They sat. dawn took her off hold.
"Hi, I talked to them and they're adamant that they've already scheduled
everything. So they can't really hold it off. Everyone's
asked for time off and all that. They've got the prenup being done
by Stark legal." She frowned and looked at Andrew. Who
shrugged. "I can definitely tell her to call you, ma'am.
With him if you have video conferencing system." MB shook her head
quickly. "If not, maybe a nice call. No, my own mother is
working locally and she's helped me mentor the boys so they were more
used to normal people things. Including that they have to eat on a
"Yes, he's one of those sort of geeks, ma'am, but he's still the
sweetest guy and he's gotten a lot more healthy recently. I even
made him give up snickers ice cream bars for breakfast. Of
course. I'll pass that on." She wrote a note and tossed it
over. MB shuddered. "I'll see if I can find her in the
labs. We talked by text since she's a few floors down." She
noticed Pepper staring from the office doorway and made a note to hold
up. She smiled and got them in there to work on what they needed
to bring down.
"You didn't tell me it was more than hypothetical," MB complained and swatted Andrew. "I would've bought a new dress."
"No, that wasn't her. That was her best friend, who is a chemistry
intern and dating Jonathan. I can pass on those messages, yes,
ma'am. Let me find her. Thank you and have a nice day,
ma'am." She hung up and thumped her head on the desk before going
in there. "She said she is going to sic your sister on you tonight
if you do not call." MB whimpered. "So we call my mother,
see what you need to go be married at the courthouse today, and then
we're having a celebration dinner," she told Andrew. "Since you
took my party fun away."
"I can do that," he said with a shy grin at his girlfriend. Dawn
hugged them both and called her mother, who gave her a precise
list. "Thanks," Andrew said next to the phone.
Dawn smiled and hung up, hugging them both. "From my mom, guys. Pepper?"
"Legal's working on it. They can sign it on the way down."
"I have no idea where my birth certificate is," Andrew admitted.
"It's in your personnel file," Dawn said dryly. He looked around
for filing cabinets. She called and got them what they
needed. She went down to get it and the papers for legal.
She was a notary, had done that so they didn't have to find the other
one in the building for agreements. They signed it, she notarized
it, and then she had someone drive them to city hall. With a stop
at their place so she could help MB dress up. She went as their
witness. Within an hour, they had it done and they were on their
way to a week off honeymoon thanks to a very confused Tony Stark.
Dawn came back and sighed, flopping down. "She giggled through the
whole thing." Jonathan came off the elevator pouting. "MB's
mom was going to show up and stomp."
"Ow. I heard about her. They're good?"
"They probably locked you out for the night, Johno."
"I can sleep on Patty's couch."
"Just remember, when it's your turn, there's this thing called a prenup that's good sense," she told him.
"Yeah, I've heard." He shrugged. "What am I going to do for a week without Andrew?"
"Um... add onto the roomba dog's programming?" He grinned and went to do that.
"Dawn?" Tony called from the office. She walked in there.
"Why did I need to give Andrew an extra week? Is it an
emergency? Jonathan looked really calm for it to be one."
"He and MB decided to elope today," she said with a grin. "He
totally had to be nagged into a prenup because he didn't know what it
was. She had to avoid her mother." Tony was gaping in
mouth-opened horror. "That's why he was taking the day off but her
mother called and said that she was going to stop it."
He squeezed his eyes shut. "Prenup?"
"I made sure because I know it makes good sense."
"Thank you!" He looked up then at her. "So, him and MB?"
"Yup. I leant her mine." She smiled. "She looked
pretty and Andrew was trying hard not to stare. She giggled
through it due to her nerves. They've probably locked Jonathan
He nodded. "That makes a lot of sense. Do they know what to do on a honeymoon?"
"I'd guess Rodney told him or showed him," she quipped. He blushed. "If not, they can ask."
Tony texted Andrew to make sure he had everything he needed, including
condoms. Andrew said he wasn't sure what they were, he had missed
sex ed, and he had no idea why girls didn't want butt sex. He went
to talk to him, taking some supplies down to them, including
dinner. Sometimes being a mentor was a bit strange and confusing.
Dawn decided to pay Clint back for the burn she had by telling him Andrew needed desperate sex advice and why.
Clint was in a meeting with the training agents when his phone went
off. He looked and blinked a few times. "Coulson, Andrew
needs marital advice."
"Why? He can barely talk to his girlfriend."
"They hit city hall earlier," Joyce said happily from her desk.
"Before her mother could pounce like the evil witch MB said she is."
Coulson found a site he liked and sent it with a congratulations.
Clint's message suggested oral sex: all women liked it and it could calm
down a virgin faster than anything. Andrew had to ask what that
was so he found him a clip online of it. He got back an 'oh!' and a
virtual blush. Clint assured him it'd calm them both down and
would let him get her into the better, more relaxed mood. If he
needed more tips, to ask Dawn. She enjoyed it a lot. He sent
back a thanks and a hug then hung up. Clint put his phone up.
"It's in the damn water," Fury complained.
Joyce stared at him. "It's sweet. Andrew could barely talk to a girl."
"His girlfriend is the same sort of geek," Coulson agreed. "She
asked him to dance at the Stark halloween party." Joyce
cooed. "They're perpetually cute together." He looked at
Clint. "What did you suggest? I gave him the site that Dawn
researched her paper for Joyce on."
"Oral sex. It calms down virgins, of both genders, and it'd help
them get used to things. Plus he can't hurt her with it if he's a
"That would work well," Natasha said from her seat. She sent her
own congratulations. She got one back from MB thanking her for
letting Dawn dress her up. "Aww, Dawn leant her that cream slip
Clint smiled. "That's definitely a good thing."
Fury glared at them. "I'm tired of the cooing."
"Sir, does that mean you want us to find you a wife?" Clint asked
dryly. "Dawn seems to have some luck hitching people
together." He got up and stomped off. "Sure, I'll hire you
one," he quipped. Coulson reached down to smack him hard on the
"Don't hire him one. It's in bad taste."
"Buy him one from overseas," one of the other agents quipped.
"They're cheaper in the long run and maybe we'll find one he can turn
into an agent."
"Marsh's computer had a nice site for that and a really pretty dark
auburn haired young woman from the Ukraine," Clint teased Natasha, who
kicked him under the table. "Not even close to you but still
fairly pretty. Only twenty-one. A year of college in
"I doubt he would appreciate the sentiment," she said in Russian. "Perhaps a husband?"
Coulson choked. "Widow!" he complained. "I did not need that thought!"
"One of the valkyries thinks he's hot," Clint shot back in
Spanish. She smirked at him. They texted the temple to have
Xander talk to her about her interests. Phil winced. "He
"Yes." They watched as a winged horse showed up and stomped before
leaning over to nibble on Joyce's desk plants. The rider got off
and walked into the office.
"You're mine, I'm claiming you. You're warrior enough for me and
man enough to have a great warrior as a wife." She picked him up
and put him over her shoulder, stomping back to her horse. "We'll
fix that scowl as well. Both of our scowls need to be
broken." She threw him over her saddle and climbed back up.
"There, I've fetched you like a proper warrior is gotten, even though
there's no great battle you've fallen in." She and her horse
Joyce texted Xander to tell him that Fury had to reappear in three days
by one in the afternoon for an important meeting. She put her
phone and smiled at Clint and Natasha, who smirked back. Phil was
still moaning a bit and shaking his head. "Maria, she'll make sure
he makes it for that funding meeting."
"Thank you, Joyce." She walked off to get some coffee - and cackle in the bathroom so no one could see.
"Just think, Dawn turned down the one in Miami that was like her," Natasha teased Phil with a smile.
"Yes, she wanted something permanent and I was only in for a few
days. She looked interesting to talk to but a bit pouty." He
got up. "I believe our meeting is done for now. Everyone
get their list of updated training needs done for the next one?"
They nodded and broke up. He did hit Clint in the elevator.
Then Natasha. "He's going to come back and attack us," he said.
"No he won't. Not if she's any good," Clint quipped.
"Perhaps she can use some of the toys that Stark sent you earlier," Natasha quipped.
Clint looked at her. "One burned her, Nat." She
winced. "She's got to be in Saturday for some file cleaning
event. He promised we could do that then since they had meetings
most of the day." They got off on Coulson's floor, going to the
gym to spar. Dawn would need some soon and they needed to warm up
and cackle in private. She had been a pretty young woman.
Very fierce. Able to handle the scowling director who clearly
hadn't gotten any in a *long* time.
If Alana made her give him back, then they'd deal with the fallout of him stomping around again.
Phil went home that night to find a laughing husband who had made dinner. "What happened?"
"Alana had to run from the squealing he was doing. Apparently
Magrid isn't all that gentle on Fury's back. He tried to escape
once to the bathroom so she pounced him in there instead." Phil
grinned. "He's not scowling though." Phil flopped down next
to him. "So, dinner?"
"I could like dinner." They got up to eat. They talked about
trivial things, like Xander getting a new sword. Him having won a
few new pieces of artillery during a kitten poker game earlier.
"Does Dawn play kitten poker?" Phil asked. Xander smiled and
nodded. "Is she very bad at it because we never hear about her
"No, she's almost as good as I am. Spike and Clem made sure of it." He ate a bite and grinned as he chewed.
"Dawn Summers, if you're hoarding artillery, I want an inventory," he
called, putting it next to her ear at full volume. They heard the
thump as someone hit the floor upstairs and across the hall.
"Ah." He turned it off and went back to eating. A few
minutes later a paper was slid under his door telling him to 'tell the
nark it's not possible, I forgot to keep track' and whoever walked
off. Phil and Xander shared a look then shrugged and
laughed. "They'll find out," Phil assured him. "The same as I
will about yours."
Xander shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not."
"I might want to borrow some."
"I can teach you how to play kitten poker, Phil."
"I could use that." They finished up and settled on the couch to
boring tv, listening to the argument upstairs to the left of them, and
maybe thinking about some mild groping if they both weren't sore.
Clint jumped when the voice message went off. He looked at his troublesome imp. "Really?"
"What? I don't play that often."
"Uh-huh. Where are said winnings?"
"Some of it's in the bank. A few times it went to presents."
She shrugged. "I don't get to play that often." She made a
note and went to deliver it then came back. They were both staring
at her. "I'm getting the creepy 'I should run' feelings
again." Clint motioned her over and she sighed but went.
"Really, it's not a lot."
"You're hoarding weapons," Natasha said. "I found Xander's. I will find yours to make sure it all works."
Dawn shrugged. "I don't really play for weapons."
"Uh-huh. Pull the other one. The only other mass currency
they use are cats and jewels," Clint said, smiling at her. "We'd
have hopefully noticed jewels."
"I did win a few of those but I sold most of them to liquid
assets?" He stopped her from moving. She couldn't even
teleport without hurting him. She huffed. "I maybe play two
nights a month. It's not like it's an addiction or anything."
They were still staring. "Where are they?" Clint asked in her ear. "We want to be impressed."
"Also to stop the FBI from arresting you for hoarding weapons," Natasha agreed.
"Wouldn't that be ATF's job?" she quipped back with a smile.
"Perhaps but you're watched by the FBI," Natasha reminded her. "As
is Stark." She smirked. "Where are they?" Dawn sighed
and took them back to the Stark building. She had her own storage
locker in there. Had for a while. It was locked from the
inside with a lock that Jonathan had helped her create but only she had
combination to. She pushed it on her phone and the door
opened. She got out of the way. She almost managed to sneak
away but they grabbed her and pulled her inside.
Dawn's phone lit up with a text. "There are many more charming
places to have sex in this building than your storage area formerly full
of kitten poker winnings, Dawn Summers. Including the more secure
area you rented up the street from your building that's in a *secure*
locked down pod. Btw, we will be talking about your kitten poker
habit, young lady." She huffed. "Damn it." She took
the lock with her.
The pod place was nicely secure, asked to see their ID's. At
Dawn's they gave her the three keys they had waiting on her. She
smiled and took them to her pod they had her assigned. They were
those pods that got carried on trucks not normal storage areas. It
was on the second floor of the storage area. The ladders were
nice though. She got up there and unlocked it, staring. "He
sold some of it," Dawn complained.
"He probably took some of it to cannibalize," Natasha said, looking in
there. She stared then at Dawn. "Once or twice a month?"
"Yeah. I was on a run when we were in Vegas," she admitted sheepishly.
Clint stepped up behind her and held onto her shoulders so she couldn't
leave. "Wow. Maybe we should've hidden in Montana
instead." He gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Inventory?"
"I keep forgetting?"
He hummed and walked her in there to look over things. Natasha
closed the door. Dawn made fairy lights. He looked over
things, making a mental inventory. He finally found her running
away stash and looked at her. She shrugged. He stared and
"When you got frustrated with economics papers?" Natasha guessed,
looking in that trunk. They both had to whistle. "Why can
you not play regular poker that way?"
"I don't know. Maybe they let me win." She shrugged.
She texted Tony to see where the stuff he took was. He sent back
it was being fixed on her and he had an inventory list when they wanted
it. Including of something that she wasn't supposed to have.
No normal person should have mini gold bars. She asked who had
paid her in that. He groaned and said he was ignoring her now but
Natasha's phone rang. "That's not fair," she complained.
Natasha looked at her. "You weren't keeping track?"
"I was, loosely, but I have no idea if the guy who owed me so many
kittens gave me that instead and if it equaled out. Only Xander
and Spike know how it relates to real world money."
They shared a look then at her. "We've got to figure that out," Natasha decided.
"I need to learn how to play kitten poker," Clint quipped, kissing
her. "We need an inventory list in case we need to grab
"Which was my intention. Especially with the demon invasion coming soon."
Clint nodded. "That's a good thing." Natasha was calling in
for someone to come move this for her. "Did your sister get any?"
"Yeah, when she needed some I got it for her." She smiled
slightly. "Buffy was really confused but I told her I got it off
someone up here who was a bad guy. Technically, the Fallen One is a
bad guy...." Clint shut her up with a kiss. "I can't name
them even if I know how to use them."
"I realize that. We do thankfully."
"Stark said he has an inventory."
Natasha hung up. "That's always a nice thing." They walked
out and closed up the pod, locking it again. Soon enough, a SHIELD
truck was there to pick it up. Natasha went to make sure they
didn't have another one here. No, Dawn only had the one under any
of her known aliases and Joyce didn't have one. She had hoped
Joyce wasn't hoarding artillery to help her elder daughter but you never
knew with some families.
Clint had texted Joyce, who said she was looking at a pretty crossbow
for Buffy's birthday but she was not in the kitten poker circuit and her
daughter needed to have her mind taken apart in that fun way to
distract her from the bad ideas. Please, she added at the
end. He laughed and said he'd try. Right after they found
out where she was playing poker, with who and what, and how much she
thought she had won so they could work out the relative exchange rate.
It was time for some light interrogation. Which he and Natasha
were both *very* skilled in. They smiled at Dawn, who nearly made
an escape again but they were faster and better. They walked her
home, stopping to pick up a few necessary things. Throat drops,
extra body wash because he was out. Douches, enema kit.
Condoms because he was out. Dawn was looking in the basket then at
him. He smiled and let Natasha add in her treats. Godiva,
the ones that Dawn nearly begged for. Two other candy bars.
Some new lube. A candle in a scent she liked. Dawn shivered
and walked off. Natasha went with her while Clint paid.
They walked in and set the locks, making Dawn put on a privacy shield
that blocked the sensors too. Dawn did it and stripped off her
jacket. Natasha moved behind her to take her shirt off her and
then her boots and jeans got kicked off. "Good," Natasha
agreed. "We can definitely start here." Clint put things
where they needed to be and brought Dawn up to Clint's apartment.
He had the better bed for interrogation work.
He gathered a few of the things, walking up after them. He had
just the perfect idea. Dawn chatted a lot while distracted to keep
her mind from slipping into an area she didn't want it to go.
Clint nicely distracted her enough by melting some of the special godiva
chocolate and smearing it on Natasha's pussy, letting Dawn see him do
it. Dawn was drooling, she loved those candy bars. Clint
smeared another stripe of it. "So let's talk," he offered.
"Where are we playing?"
"Um, at the pub." She moved closer. Natasha moved out of her
reach. "Nat," she begged. "My two favorite things."
She smiled. "Which pub have you been playing at?"
"I'll bring you," she offered. She pounced Natasha to get her
treat for that offer. They let her have a few licks then pulled
her off and put her back in her usual spot. She whined.
"C'mon. I'll bring you."
"Who have you been playing with? We need to make sure they don't
have human contacts," Clint said, nibbling on a bite of the candy
bar. She stared at it. "The longer this takes, the more of
this I'm going to eat so it can't be spread anywhere else." Dawn
went limp with a sound like she had deflated. He smirked.
"The Fallen One and a few others. There's a demonic mafia group in
town, or three really, but only one plays there and I don't play with
them because I figure they're as mean as the Russians that used to want
to own me," she babbled because he was eating another bite. "I
really don't play all that often and I usually go in on the fifth.
Please?" Natasha straddled her, close enough to see and sniff but
not taste. "'Tasha," she moaned. "I'm trying to be good."
"If you were being good, you would have told us so we could do official
things and you could keep it," she chided. "You know that."
"I'm used to hiding a lot from them."
"I know. Which is the only reason you may get a reward."
Dawn leaned her head up but Natasha pushed it back down. "I want
full details. Or else he eats the rest and the tasty chocolate
smeared on me will get his attention as well."
Dawn pouted. "That's mean."
"No it's not mean. It's important. You have to tell us these things so we can hide them."
"I hid some of those for over a year."
Natasha leaned down. "If you keep secrets from us, we have to
worry," she said simply. "We keep nothing modern from you if we
can help it." Dawn pouted but nodded. "Pouting does not get
you out of trouble."
"Think of it like confession. You confess, you do your penance, you go to heaven," Clint said.
Dawn looked down at him. "She's being mean to me. How do I
get great joy from that?" He teased her with the rest of the candy
bar he hadn't nibbled on. She moaned. "But...."
"I do like these ones as well," Natasha reminded her. She tasted
some of what was on her. Dawn growled and teleported enough to get
out of the velcro cuffs. Natasha nearly squealed when she landed
on her back. Dawn was definitely happy. Clint let her do
some and teased her, then pulled her off. Dawn pounced him
too. "I think she's too distracted," Natasha panted.
"Definitely," Clint moaned, holding her head where it was. "Dawn,
we need to know these things." She opened up their link to show
them. They groaned at what they saw, including her plans to help
them if necessary or hide them if Fury lost his mind again. "We
taught you the right things," he groaned, letting her head go down to
tease him with the candy bar she had snatched. He could enjoy
that. Her being devious was a slight turn on for him. And
Natasha. She made them both very happy and they appreciated it
enough to help her get off. Then cuddled her so they could talk
about her poker habits mentally. That way no one could eavesdrop.
Phil looked up at the ceiling then at Xander. "They're taunting her with chocolate."
"I would pounce for that too. I wouldn't even expect the really good chocolate, just hershey chocolate."
Phil stared then grinned. "Was that a fantasy?"
Xander shook his head quickly. "No, not really."
"Uh-huh. Would you like it painted all over me?" he asked,
shifting closer. Xander gave him a strange look. "Fantasies I
can usually handle, Xander. Especially one that would get me so
pampered and spoiled."
Xander blushed but smiled a bit. "I wouldn't mind. I'm good with however."
"How did you think about this?" he asked.
"Um, the geek me that's working on Atlantis as a linguist had a special
birthday present that was painted on and covered with nerds." Phil
shivered. Xander clutched him. "He said he could barely
walk. Or Evan. Because he's with Evan and Radek."
"Hmm. Must have stamina like you," Phil teased. He took a
kiss. "I can see that perhaps for a special birthday thing."
He took a second kiss. "Then we'll see." Xander nodded,
resting his head on Phil's shoulder. "On your stomach."
Xander gave him an odd look for that command. "I'm in the mood to
give a backrub." Xander nodded, getting in the right position
without a shirt on. Phil found some oil and came back out to work
on the slightly tense muscles. Xander was like a cat, he liked
being petted and touched most of the time. It helped him and it
helped Phil get used to him. Neither one was used to waking up
next to someone.
Xander moaned and shifted, spreading out some. He flashed a
thought at Phil, who put it into action and it was great. The soft
power flow kneaded deeper than the fingers could, making it even better
than it had been. "That's nice."
Phil smiled. "It feels nice from what I can tell."
"Give you one later."
"Sure." He kept going until Xander was limp, sated, and nearly
asleep. Then he got off him and got a sheet to cover him
with. Xander blinked a bit but yawned and fell back asleep.
"I'll see you in the morning," he said quietly, going to get ready for
bed. Xander could come in later if he wanted to. Phil laid
down, realizing that the bed felt colder. It had only been a few
weeks and he was adjusting well to having Xander there with him.
He shifted a few times then started to get up but Xander wandered in,
naked now, and climbed in beside him. He relaxed against the warm,
cuddly body, and let himself drift off.
Xander snuggled in and got comfortable. This was nice. He could really get used to this.
Clint stared down at Dawn, who was snuggling on his shoulder on their
next shared day off. "Why is it that half of my shirts have an
oval stain right about there?" he teased.
She winced. "Sorry." She pulled back.
He pulled her down. "I was teasing, Dawn."
"I could probably wash my face better before bed."
He stared at her. "If I was worried about it, I'd have mentioned
it over dinner or something." He stared at her. "I was
teasing." She relaxed. "You're tense today. Why?"
"We were all kinda quiet last night," she said quietly, playing with the shirt over his stomach.
He stopped her plucking fingers, squeezing them. "Sometimes quiet is nice."
"It is but it was like we were in our own little worlds and no one talked to each other or even sat near each other....."
He pushed her face up and kissed her. "It was just a quiet night. We all have those. You were having one too."
"I kept feeling like if I curled up against one of you I'd get that look."
"No, you wouldn't," he said. He petted her hair. She
relaxed. "Sometimes we have nights like that and you curling up
against us wouldn't have mattered. We would've cuddled and still
been quiet. Normal couples have it too."
"I'm certain," he promised, realizing she was still nervous. He looked at her. "You're worried again?"
She shrugged a bit. "Stupid shit."
"Sometimes they come at the wrong time. Who said what this time?" He shifted to hold her better.
"The reporter that was interviewing Pepper was asking about how much age
difference there was and such an experience gap and all that."
Clint kissed her again. "It isn't really that large of an
experience gap anymore, which we all hate for you, and having a young,
pretty thing on my arm is a great thing." She stared at him.
"Really." He took another kiss. "Now, calm down?" He
looked at the alarm that hadn't went off then at her. "Why do you
have today off?"
"I have to head up to Massachusetts later."
"Mandatory eval." She got the paperwork by magic and floated it over. He looked and grimaced. "Exactly."
"That's ridiculous." He found his phone by sight. "Bring it over so I can call and complain?"
"It's Fury's latest attempt to screw with things," she said quietly.
"Exactly." She floated over his phone, letting him find the number
in his contacts list and call them. "Stark needs to open another
office and move us all there. We'll transfer SHIELD branches, you
go to that office." She snuggled in around him. That was
more usual and felt better. Less tense. "Coulson,
Barton. Mandatory eval for Dawn?" He listened. "Hell
no!" She looked up at him. "No, I'm not allowing it and you
can tell the fucker I said that." He listened. "They want
her to do what? Why does that need an evaluation? No, I'm
pretty damn sure she's not. If they want her to help prompt Warren
that's completely different. Because right about now, if Stark
would move cities, we'd all go." He hung up.
"They want me to help Warren?"
She sighed. "I'm not sure I can after what I found him
doing." She snuggled in, nuzzling her cheek against his
ribs. "I still want to beat his ass over that."
She smiled. "Stark does have other buildings."
"Yes, but not that he's living in."
She smiled. "The Malibu house is still his favorite."
"I could like being in LA full time. Nice beaches. More
bikini time for you and 'Tasha." She laughed and gave him a
squeeze. "Coulson can transfer to that building. The only
problem is Tara and the kids." She nodded. "Maria would have
to transfer and her duties are being on Fury's ass all day long."
"We need to get her a shock collar and remote."
He laughed. "That might be nice, yeah. Or fix whatever's broken this time."
"Could it be the nanites?"
He stared at her then texted that word to Coulson. They could
check him. They still had the sensor Stark had made. He
snuggled with her. "Since you don't have to go after all, I guess
we get the day off."
"I need to log in sometime soon to make sure there's nothing I need to do."
"We can do that later." He took a kiss and shifted to hold her better. It was better. A lot better.
Coulson saw the one word text and grimaced. "He's shown that his
abnormal moments come out that way because he represses it so much, and
they were focused on Dawn," he said, getting up and heading up to the
bridge. He walked up to Maria's desk, making her turn around since
she was staring at something over someone's shoulder. He found
the scanner and walked into the office, turning it on.
Maria walked up behind him, taking it to use. "I'll be
damned. It is the nanites. Sir, were you in the lab when
they were looking them over?"
"He was in the elevator when they brought Barton in to get a report," Phil told her.
"Huh." They got him to the infirmary by Phil's power. "Not wise," she said.
He grinned. "Xander leant me a bit of power for emergencies.
I think this qualifies. Now we know; the next time he starts to
stalk Dawn and use cameras for sexual deviance purposes, he's got a
problem." He walked off. The med team got him into
quarantine while Maria scanned the rest of the staff. They could
easily blast Fury in there with a high powered EMP then call in the quit
code. It was on file. Phil relaxed and told Xander, then
went to find Natasha and tell her. It eased some worries and maybe
Barton would quit thinking about them all moving back to LA.
Tony got the text message from Natasha and smiled. "That's a good
thing," he agreed, sending one back. He got one from Steve to
please come up to the penthouse if he wasn't busy. Tony wasn't
busy, he was stuck on something, so it was a good distraction. He
headed up there, smiling since Callia was waiting at the elevator.
"Is it a surprise?" he teased.
"I'm going to see twins with Nanny so Auntie Tara gets nap. I'm
being very helpful. The twins can play with Carrot and
Cheese." She pointed at her pets on the rolling cart.
"That's good. Have a fun playdate, Callia." She beamed and
got on the elevator with her new nanny and pets. He walked further
into the apartment, staring at Steve. "So, why is she going today
since that's usually Wednesday?"
"I wanted some alone time?" Steve offered with a sheepish smile.
"I'm always up for alone time with you, Steve." He walked over to sit next to him. "Needed to talk?"
"No. Not exactly." He kissed him and stood up in front of
him, staring down at him. He walked over to turn on music,
blushing bright red. Tony was giving him an odd look. "I
"Okay, for what?" Tony watched as his lover started to move.
He realized what it was. It wasn't skillful by any means, and he
had been taught Dawn's rhythm problem when she had taught him to club
dance. "Did ....did Dawn teach you this?"
"Actually, Joyce gave me the idea. She was taking those pole
dancing classes for exercise to rebuild her muscles." He ducked
his head some and grinned. "It's not too odd, right?"
"Hell no, it's hotter than hell." He got comfortable, letting
Steve tease him. "Shirt off," he said. Steve fumbled but got
the t-shirt off. That was nicer and the skin was nicely warm and
blushing too. Tony smirked. "You really should be closer for
a lap dance."
"I watched the burlesque sorts, the ones that it's all about the tease so they don't get fully naked." He shifted closer.
Tony patted his lap. "I like the tease being close up."
Steve casually straddled him and went back to the teasing dance.
Touching himself, almost playing with a nipple, circling it instead to
draw attention to it. His hips were still moving with the muted
music and it was good. He could tell Tony was very
interested. He got an idea and shifted his weight to move against
him. Tony's moan filled the living room with a low, deep sound
that made Steve shiver a bit. He barely got to hear that sort of
noise from Tony. He increased the pressure and kept moving.
Tony was gripping the couch behind his head. "More," Tony ordered
with a smirk. "Tease me, Cap. This is supposed to be a huge
tease that makes me come in my pants."
Steve smiled. "I'm not sure if I'm that good yet."
"Yes, you definitely are." Steve shifted his weight again, drawing
them closer, teasing Tony's chest through his shirt. The teasing
rubs were making him ache. The fingers were making him want to
strip them. If he had magic, they would've been naked by
now. Steve was doing good driving him out of his mind. Tony
was staring at him until he got kissed. That was his signal he
could pounce. Steve landed on his back on the couch, Tony's mouth
kissing him then moving down to his throat. "I knew you could be
an evil tease if you wanted," he moaned, stripping himself off one
Steve's pants got opened and pushed down. Tony found the lube he
had hidden from his daughter and Pepper, squirted some on his fingers to
get himself ready then got up to slide down his boyfriend's pole.
"More," Tony ordered. Steve gasped and helped Tony take what he
needed to make them both happy. It was a hard, short ride but it
was fulfilling and Tony gasped his name as he came. Steve finished
up, he had to because Tony's body was inviting him with the warmth, the
squeezing, the tightness. He went limp, pulling Tony down to kiss
him. Tony stared at him before kissing him. "That I
Steve smiled and stroked Tony's still covered shoulders. "We didn't make it to naked."
"Which proved how hot it was," Tony assured him, taking off his shirt
and tossing it aside. Steve kissed him again. Tony relaxed
against him. "Thanks for sending the mini me out for a long
Steve grinned. "I didn't want to try that with her in the house."
"No, I don't think she needs to know about that yet. Or see me totally lose my mind enough that I pounced."
"I like the pouncing."
Tony looked at him. "You're getting stalked later." Steve
grinned and pulled him back down for another kiss and cuddle. Tony
relaxed and of course an idea hit him but he grabbed a pencil and paper
he kept stashed around the house for those needs. He sketched
then laid back down. Steve was beaming proudly at him for it so
apparently it was a great thing that he wanted to cuddle. The
music switched stations. "JARVIS, his pick was fine," Tony
called. It was changed back. Steve grinned and kissed
him. "Want me to make lunch?"
"No, I can make sandwiches." He got up and stripped off the
sweaty, slightly stained jeans. He could make lunch naked.
Tony watched him, head tipped. Steve smiled back at him.
"Ham's good." He got up to stalk Steve into the kitchen. They had many easily cleaned surfaces in there.
"It's the kitchen," Steve squeaked when he was pounced. "Where you put food."
"All easily cleaned with a sponge." He kissed him, backing him
against the fridge. Pinning him against the slightly cool surface
earned a shiver but Steve was more than willing. They were rubbing
while kissing and it was good, Tony's mind was about to lose cohesion
and let his baser instincts take over. "Need to move this," he
muttered between kisses.
"Why?" Steve gripped the top of the fridge to pull himself up so
he could wrap his legs around Tony's waist. "I was ready
earlier." Tony growled and pushed his way in, keeping him pinned
while he rode him hard until Steve was gasping and putting finger dents
into the metal of the doors holding him up. "Tony!" he
gasped. Tony growled and pushed in harder and faster, making it a
ride that would be remembered. Steve gasped and came. Tony
chuckled and got free, turning Steve around to lean him against a
counter. This needed a deeper angle. He pushed back in and
made it a harder ride, one with some nipping and some biting on Steve's
shoulder. Steve shivered but clutched back at him, trying for any
sort of grip. Tony gave him one. Steve growled as Tony made
him get closer again. "Tony!"
"Mine," he assured him, hissing it in his ear. "All mine."
"All yours," he promised. Tony came with a grunt, pulling him
closer. Steve shouted and got off, panting hard, leaning on the
counter. Tony's forehead was resting against his sweaty
back. Steve caught his breath and looked back. "Tony?"
Tony kissed his back and gently pulled out. "You drove me to it."
Steve grinned. "I didn't mind. Primal you is very
hot." Tony moaned and kissed him, then grabbed the bag of deli ham
and brought them back to the couch so they could feed it to each
other. Steve sighed as he sat down, Tony pulling him against his
side. They ate the meat, feeding it to each other every few
bites. It was good and this time Tony made them use the
bedroom. It gave them many more options for spreading out.
Tony was a bit sore since he hadn't really stretched himself enough but
Steve could cure that and tease him even more.
Yeah, this was the best day they'd had since they got together.
Pepper looked up as JARVIS cleared his throat. "Problems?"
"No, ma'am, but I'm locking off the Penthouse until they're completely sated," he said quietly.
"That's fine," she promised with a smile. "It's a great thing to have."
"It is, yes. They are happy, even if they are growling a
bit." She giggled. He checked on the others in the building,
shutting down a few experiments but telling Dawn which ones. She
could check on them. She wasn't in he realized but she checked in
from home. That was sweet of her.
Dawn finished her checking on people and reauthorizing one to turn back
on his experiment, while promising two others she was going to kill them
because it would damage Pepper when their experiments blew everyone
up. She put her phone aside and looked at her captive man.
"Really, some scientists have no sense." She checked the ropes
tying him to the base of the couch over the arm.
"No, they don't," he agreed. "So... I'm here...." Dawn
smirked evilly and got up to find what she wanted. "Dawn?"
She came back with the eclair, sitting on his chest to eat it.
Nipping off the end, licking off the creamy filling, then the chocolate
on top. Nipping off the cleaned off section and doing it
again. He moaned. "Dick tease."
"I always cure what I cause in yours," she teased, licking her
lips. She went back to it. He was moaning and trying to get her to
shift backward onto his cock. "Not yet you're not." She
finished off her flaky pastry treat and licked her fingers then
lips. She kissed him.
"I have one of those?" he asked.
"Yup, you do. I haven't decided yet if I'm letting you eat it or
I'm going to open it up and put it around you so I can clean you
off." He groaned and stretched. She smirked and moved to
tease his cock with her tongue. "Remember the day it was touching
He nodded. "I do. It's a very fond memory that was my dirty dream last night."
"I think today's an only oral sex day." He growled but she went
down on him. He went limp and let her spoil him. She pulled
off with a slurp. "Or do you need more?"
"More is always nice but I taught you very well. Go back to
it?" She smirked and just licked up the underside of his cock,
earning a shiver. "Dawn, teasing, bad."
"Yet you tease me when you have me tied down."
He nodded. "I enjoy the hell out of it."
"You call me a flirty tease," she reminded him.
He swallowed. "I do. You're amazing at it but do it for the
second orgasm?" he begged. She smiled and went back down on
him. She did scrape a bit with her teeth but that was good for him
and he was not going to last for too much longer. He came with a
shout and went limp. "Untie me?"
"Nope." She licked him clean, earning a groan, because her tongue
was trailing up to tease his stomach. He was starting to come up
again and she was going to pay for the teasing. He was mentally
tensing up but he was trying to act casual. She bit the scar he
didn't like touched then moved on. He relaxed and let her handle
it. She was good at handling his needs and wants. She
finally made it up to his mouth and kissed him. He moaned.
She smiled. "Want a backrub?"
"No. I think we'll have only oral sex day tomorrow." He used
his higher height and weight to shift them some. She had done a
pretty good job of tying him down but had left some slack. It
pinned her against the back of the couch. Even without his hands
and not having full access to her body he still managed to put a thigh
between her knees and shove to give himself an opening to slide into
her. "Still have tomorrow off?" She nodded. He
smirked. "Good." He could get him and Natasha both off
tomorrow. It was her day tomorrow and he could take a day
off. He made it a slow, hard ride, making her clutch at him.
"Untie me?" he asked in her ear.
"Later. I wanted to tease you more."
"You're a great tease." She reached down to tease herself for
him. He groaned. "That's beautiful." He kissed her and
they finished off. She panted, hugging him. "Lick me clean
again?" he offered. She smiled and got them back onto his back
with her on top. She could give in to that request. Even if
she did turn around so he could do the same. "You only keep me
around for the oral sex, right?"
"Yup," she quipped. "That and your amazing stamina."
He laughed and nipped her. "I knew it." He licked her,
making her moan and clutch his hips. He grinned. "If I was
untied I could do more."
She looked back at him. "You're more creative than that."
"I am, yes." He shifted his hips. She got back to teasing
him so he could do the same thing. He had taught her what she
liked and he could expand those boundaries now. He got her worked
up enough that she was only holding onto him, panting hard. He
smiled. "Ride me, Dawn?" She nodded, shifting around to ride
him while kissing him. "Faster, dear." She sped up and he
inserted a better mental song for her to find the rhythm from. It
was one of his favorites and she enjoyed dancing to it. She found
it easily enough and it was so good. She made sure he came
first. Then she moaned.
"Untie me. I'll soothe it," he promised. She undid one hand
and he flipped them back so she was pinned against the couch. He
kissed her and used that free hand to tease her into an orgasm that
would mean they'd both get to nap. She squealed loudly and pushed
into his hand. He smirked nibbled on that sensitive spot on her
throat. His fingers were sliding through all the dampness, making
her twitch. He found the perfect spot again easily enough each
time he lost it. She finally came with a wail of noise and went
limp. He kissed her. "Better?" She nodded, falling
asleep there. He licked off his fingers and untied his other hand
so he could hold her. This was the best day off he'd had in a
while. Even with the bondage.
Tony watched Steve at dinner. Callia was already in bed. She
had come home tired. They were having a private, quiet
dinner. Well, Tony was eating and teasing Steve, who was blushing
again. "I want you to try that again."
"Which what? We did do a lot of things today."
"The lap dance thing." He ate a bite then fed him one. "Why aren't you eating?"
He grinned. "You're doing a very good job of making sure I eat."
"I am, yes." He fed him another bite then joined their plates to
do it better. He finally fed them both enough and they went back
to the bedroom. Tony stretched out on the bed, hands behind his
head. "I know the no touching rule. Until you make me snap
and pounce it is all your show."
Steve smiled and straddled his hips, once he had gotten out of his
shorts. He moved Tony's down and tossed them off the bed. He
kissed him and music came on. Something a bit more clubby and
harder. He looked up. "Thanks, JARVIS. Can we have a
bit of privacy?" No answer. He looked at Tony, who waved the
remote that hitched to the headboard.
"That's good." He took another kiss and started to move with the
music. He knew how far he could push Tony now. Knew what it
took for him to be in that primal, claiming state. This time he'd
push it a bit farther. He dipped down to add more pressure now and
then but it was still a tease. Just barely brushing their cocks
together, just barely skin touching skin as he moved. He was
stroking his sides, going up to his nipples to tease them.
Tony was staring, totally focused on his hands. He moved them up
to caress his neck then back down to his stomach to tease himself.
He was getting himself hot with this one, which was a great
thing. Tony's eyes were dilated so much you couldn't tell what
color they were. His breathing was getting a bit shallow. He
could tell he was having an effect on his lover and on himself.
Steve moved slightly forward to brush against Tony's stomach.
"Nice position," Tony growled.
"Thanks." He smiled and leaned down to kiss him just barely above
his lips. He pulled back when Tony moved his head.
"Nah-uh. It's a tease." He bit his lip as Tony's hips
moved. "My job." He shifted back to dance more over his
hips. It let him brush against Tony's cock again. He finally
had to touch him while teasing him. Tony had some very tender
spots that earned him gasps and Tony twitching. He did avoid the
arc reactor's area. He knew it bothered Tony. He hadn't seen
him without a shirt for nearly six months. He kissed it though
and stared at him then grinned and licked over the cover, earning a
whimper and Tony tensing up.
He went back to refinding all the tiny spots that made Tony gasp and
moan. One made his cock twitch when he licked over it so he did
that for a bit, watching the reaction. He took another almost
kiss. Which was when Tony pounced. Steve found himself on
his back, being taken and held down. Tony was stronger than he
looked. Steve could barely move but it was good because Tony was
staring at him. "Claim me?" he begged.
"You're already mine." He pushed in harder and faster. "Do I
need to prove it to you?" Steve nodded. "Then I can do
that." He shifted his hands to Steve's hands and made it a slower,
yet still hard, rocking ride. Steve was a pile of sweaty,
twitching muscles before Tony let him come. "Come now," he
ordered, hitting just the right angle into his prostate. Steve
shouted and came. "See, mine," he panted then let himself
follow. He calmed himself, letting Steve pull him down to hold
him. He was gulping air but that was normal. Steve got
calmed down first and soothed a hand up his sweaty back. "We need a
"We could, yup," Steve agreed, taking a kiss. Neither one
moved. It was nice being held and doing the holding. "I
"We both needed this but I'm buying you a ring," he promised.
"That way there's no fan girl that tries to capture you again."
Steve blushed. A few fans had tried to take him from the grocery
store last week. He took a kiss. "You are mine, right?"
"I'm yours, Tony."
"Good. Then I can possessively stalk you around."
Steve smiled. "You do?"
"I so do. You should ask Pepper."
"We have talked." Tony grinned. "I know she's still important in your life."
"She is. She's... she's like my... my healing spot powered by my
kryptonite. It's like a black hole that would destroy me and
remake me all at once."
Steve kissed him. "I understand." Tony stared at him. "I do."
"Yup." He took another kiss. "I'm not jealous of Pepper,
Tony. I could never be jealous of her." Tony relaxed
again. He stroked his back. "I think I threw my back out."
"I give excellent massages." He got up and hauled Steve up,
smirking at him. "First, let's get less sweaty." He got them
into the shower. Thankfully they had a spare guest room, even
though Steve wanted to change the bed and do it there. "Sure, we
can stay in here."
"Its our room," Steve said.
Tony grinned. "Yeah, it is." He took a kiss and helped
change the sheets, then found the body butter he liked to use for
working on his muscle cramps. He got Steve on his stomach and
soothed some of it down his back before working it in. Steve was a
moan chorus, which inflated Tony's ego. Even if Steve's moans
turned to quiet, soft snores after a few minutes. Tony smirked,
putting down the tub of lotion and laying down with him. He really
was going to have to design a ring for him. Now all he had to
decide was if it went on his finger, around his neck on a chain, or was
attached to some part of his body.
Dawn looked up from her weekly finding of articles on the Avengers, any
single member of the team, or SHIELD when she heard Tony. "Boss,
got a slight issue I found."
"What sort?" he asked, stopping to stare at her instead of looking over
the plans he was screwing with. He noticed what she was
doing. "Is this like the time that you had to find gay porn
because you found stories about a certain sniper and a certain agent
dating?" he asked with a smile.
"Actually, the first one I found was you and a certain all american geek
screwing," she admitted. "No, there's a SHIELD movie." She
turned the screen fully so he could see.
He read, blinking. "Who had that sort of information?"
"No, I know it wasn't you. Yell at your toys?"
"Can't. In the field with rookies."
"Poor people. Coulson?" He appeared. Stark
pointed. "Dawn found it in her weekly archiving of all stories
He moved to read it, blinking hard. "Damn." He printed it
and took it back with him. He walked up to the admin area, holding
it up for Maria.
"They can't find someone hot enough to play me," she complained quietly.
He smirked. "Ditto. Dawn didn't have access to those
files." Maria groaned and shook her head. Phil carried the
paper into the office, putting it on the desk and leaving.
Fury came out a minute later. "Who found this?" he demanded.
"Dawn. She searches weekly for new things on us and the Avengers
to make sure there's no wild rumors and to archive copies of all the
news stories for analysis, sir." He sipped the coffee he had just
Fury looked at him. "Where did she find it?" Joyce held up
the phone so he could ask Dawn that. "Which paper?" He took
down the address and that she had started with a google search. He
winced. "How many mentions of this movie?" He winced worse
and frowned. "Damn it." He hung up and went to look those
up. Joyce took them for him and pulled them up. He
stared. "I want to know how they found out."
"Send Agent Romanoff. She's listed as a character," Joyce
said. "She's very good at making geeks talk to her. This
will probably be the next big comic book style movie." She went
back to her desk to search out more information on that.
"Let me, Joyce," Maria said from her own desk. "I can tell when they've gotten into the classified information."
"Of course, Maria." She smiled. "The one they have playing you is pretty."
"Still not pretty enough." They shared a smirk and got back to their searches.
Phil left it to them. He had to warn Barton and Romanoff that they
were part of a new movie. They had managed to stop the release of
one that had featured Natasha a few years back. Not even geeks
could usually find a copy now.
Tony had taken the direct route and used the video conferencing software
he had built into all their special phones to call. "People, we
have an issue."
"What now?" Barton quipped. "Beyond the fact that I have three
trainee rookies that need to find silence." He glared at someone
to his left. "Even Dawn talks less." That agent shut up.
"She'll beat you for that later I'm sure," Tony quipped. "There's a
SHIELD movie coming out." He texted Jonathan to come up. He
came bouncing out of the elevator. "Tell them about the new
SHIELD movie, Jonathan? We just found it today and I'm pretty sure
your friends know more than I do."
Jonathan smiled. "We do. We've got the whole synopsis out on
our bulletin boards. It's going to be so cool! There's a
Russian spy that was brainwashed and they had to send her ex to take her
out but he brings her to SHIELD instead and then it moves onto them
going on a few missions, which other agents get slowly added into.
It ends on the unfreezing of Captain America so the whole team is
"Am I in it?" Tony asked.
"No, you have your own movie," Jonathan said, taking the keyboard from Pepper to get into one of those sites.
Tony stared then at them. "Off the unauthorized, very wrong biography of me done by that British lady that makes up shit."
Barton winced. "How realistic, Johno?"
"I think, knowing you guys, that they may've had access to
records. If not, it's pretty much something I'd expect to happen
to you guys."
Natasha nodded. "Quite. They had access to very sealed records."
"Dawn said she didn't," Tony said. "So they couldn't have hacked her for them."
"She doesn't have anything about us on the computer outside a few
pictures," Clint said dryly. "She made sure from North
Dakota." He glared at one of the rookies. "Shut.
Up. Spot our target." He looked at the phone again.
"Okay, so we do what?"
"I'm going to go talk to someone," Natasha said. "Since it seems to start off with me."
"Only you're a blonde," Jonathan said with a smile. "A really hot
actress too. She wanted to play a strong yet feminine role model
sort of character and is gushing all over the place that you are."
"Yes, I am, but still." She didn't want to smile at that
compliment but it was a very good one. "Jonathan, pull up all the
information on that movie for us please? That way we make
sure they can't use classified information that will get agents
harmed?" He nodded with a grin and bounded off. She looked
at Stark. "Dawn?"
"Moaning. The actress isn't one of the stick-figure ones but she's
not voluptuous by any means." She gave him a dirty look. So
did Barton. He pulled it up to show them. "See?"
"She's pretty," Barton agreed. "But not really very Widow-like."
"No, I'm a bit more feminine," she agreed, hanging up.
Steve winced. "She's going to destroy people."
Tony nodded. "So am I." He hung up. "Pepper, legal is on their way?"
"Yup, ten minutes. She was out at lunch." She took her keyboard back. "This is not good looking."
"No, it's not." He got up and stomped off. "Let me know when they get here, Dawn."
"Yup. Go calm down Stepdad please?"
"I am." He went to that lab to calm him down. "Bruce, it's
not as bad as it could be. There's already two movies to
you." He got stared at. "Really." He pulled up IMDB
and typed in 'Hulk', finding them. "See?"
He looked and groaned. "Why?"
"People are fascinated by heros, buddy." He patted him and walked off. "Dawn wanted to make sure you were calm."
"I was when I came in."
"Just think, they're going to have to find someone to play Fury."
He laughed. "I shouldn't want to laugh."
"I do." He walked off again. He had to meet with Legal. They had to stop this shit. Now.
Barton hung up and tucked his phone back into his pocket. The
rookies were staring at him. "Someone's making a SHIELD
movie." One of them moaned and looked begging. "Off
classified files. Including how we got Agent Romanoff. She's
not happy." That begging look got worse. "Ask her.
Not me." He led them to where they needed to be. This was
simple training in surveillance. He would've had them doing it
around the building but they weren't subtle enough for that yet.
They really had to find a better way to get better recruits. These
ones were all from other agencies and sucked.
Natasha hung up and threw the staff she had been fighting with.
Her opponent kept his and tried to fend off her attack to wear out some
stress. She let him because it gave him a slight advantage over
her unarmed attack. Not enough of one but some. She finally
got calmer and walked over his limp body, going to report for details
and who she needed to talk to.
Callia found something while looking over the building. She was
bored and liked building things. "JARVIS, what's this level?" she
asked. "I've never been there."
"That is the emergency decontamination and protection rooms," he told
her. "If we have a lab accident we can have a small number of
people safe there if they can't make it to a rescue station."
"Oh, wow. Is it nice?"
"It's set up like an apartment. Why?"
"Just wondering." She looked it over. "Why does one have Auntie Dawn's name on it?"
"Because she has run into a problem in the past that meant she needed to
be quarantined. That's in case she does it again."
"Huh." She was thinking hard. She knew her Auntie Dawn had
more powerful magic than she did or her Auntie Tara did. She had
heard one of the scientists talk about how scarily powerful she
was. So it was probably very strong to hold her in. Was she
as powerful as Uncle Xander? She looked up. "JARVIS, someone
was talking about Auntie Dawn being stronger than Uncle Xander.
"I believe that their powers are different in nature and that would be
hard to gauge," he said. "Without proper testing we could only go
on battle evidence, which is an unfair judge of ability."
"You do things during fights that you don't at other times," he explained. "So that's not what they usually do."
"Like that fight no one would let me know about?"
"Was Daddy there?"
"Yes he was, and you were sent against my will after it to calm down Dr. Banner."
"Oh, there." She considered it. "So are they about as powerful?"
"No one can really be certain without testing that could harm them."
"Huh. Okay. Thank you, JARVIS." She went back to
thinking. She had an evil girl plan starting and it was a good
one. It'd make people happy. Plus she'd get new playmates.
JARVIS checked on her father but he was involved with the company's
lawyers over something so he wouldn't interrupt to note that strange
Callia finally managed to get down to that room. She had to crawl
through the air vent like Uncle Clint told her he did sometimes to watch
over Auntie Dawn and the geeks but she made it. The plans earlier
had shown her where she was going and she remembered very well, only
took one wrong turn. Of course, she had found the computer room in
there. She'd think about that later. She walked around the
containment floor. It was a very nice apartment and
infirmary. She found her daddy's room, because it had a computer
and his dried fruit, plus a coffee maker. She found Dawn's because
it didn't have a coffee maker and it was a bit more bare. She
didn't decorate like Daddy did so it made sense to her. She closed
the door most of the way then moved to the middle of the room.
"Uncle Phil, Uncle Xander, help?" she called then got out of the
way. They appeared and she shut the door with a giggle.
"Make me new babies to play with!" She ran off.
Xander looked at the door then at Phil. "I'm spanking her," Phil
assured him. "I don't usually believe in spanking unless your
child was just in the middle of the street or playing with a handgun but
for this, she's being paddled."
Xander nodded. "It'll save her." He looked around. "I'm guessing this is some sort of saferoom?"
"Not Stark's. I got a good look at his when he was freed from it
in that other place, before the wish." Xander started a scan and
Phil winced. "Something's drawing power, Xander, stop." He
did. It was still drawing power. "I believe this is meant
for Dawn if she goes critical mass."
Xander nodded. "Apparently." He blocked off the draw and
helped Phil do the same. This was not good and it was pulling at
their powers to the point that it could, if it went on long enough,
drain them to the point where they might die. "Can you reach
"No, it's fully blocked off. Dawn's went telepathic a few
times." He looked around. "JARVIS?" No answer.
"No cameras either."
"He wouldn't want to watch her explode," Xander murmured. "I
wouldn't either." He looked around. It was the nicest Dawn
trap ever. It even had a bed that looked comfortable. He sat
on it and concentrated on keeping his powers from being sucked
out. Phil settled beside him and Xander showed him how to do
that. Phil nodded and started the same meditation exercise.
He was still naturally leaking some but that was normal.
Tony jerked awake as his phone went off with an alarm that only worked
for one floor. "JARVIS, who's in containment?" he demanded,
getting up and finding clothes.
"I believe your daughter decided that Dawn's containment cell would work
well for her uncles who are godly, sir. I also believe that I
cannot shut off the siphoning devices and they're pulling at their
"Damn it!" Tony shouted. "What's the code?"
"It's not in the file."
"Where did I write it down?"
"It's probably on the list in Pepper's left hand drawer."
"Put up a copy of that," he ordered.
"We have a containment cell for Dawn?" Steve asked quietly.
"If her powers start to bleed, yes," Tony said, staring at him.
"Because she got overloaded and it was necessary for a few hours when
Andrew and them pulled in the extra Keys. Thankfully she made it
to Malibu. This was in case she couldn't. There's no cameras
so I don't have to watch her die or audio pickups, I'd send in a radio
to her so we could talk if it was necessary. There's power
siphoning devices to pick up any energy she's bleeding off and store it
away from her so it won't make anything explode," he said, looking
"It was fully a just in case safety measure and she knows. I told
her and she gave me a hug and thanked me but I felt the most miserable
I've ever felt having to think about that." The scan of the paper
was up. "Release her," he read. The alarm quit. "Turn
off the siphoning devices. I have no idea what they'd do to a
godly power, JARVIS. We're on our way down to release the manual
lock." He found his keys and went to the elevator, sticking it in a
little keyhole and turning it. "Only security has the other key
to the level. Pepper knows where mine are."
Steve rubbed his arm. "It makes sense, even though we hate to think about it. The same as we have one for Banner."
Tony nodded. "I hate the very idea of needing one." They got
off on the floor and he stomped over to release the door. "Guys,
"Callia called us for help," Xander said, blinking at him.
Steve helped them both out. "Are you guys all right?"
"Bit weak feeling," Phil admitted, wobbling a bit. Xander caught him before he fell.
"Sorry," Tony said.
Xander shrugged. "It might be necessary. We all know
that." He was about to pass out too. He was feeding Phil
energy to help him stabilize his form. "We need to go somewhere
"JOHN!" Steve bellowed in his best battlefield voice. Sheppard
appeared looking like he had been in bed. Messy hair, pajama
pants, yawning. He looked at them and growled, taking them to
Valhalla and then to Xander's cabin. He helped Phil link into the
local power to draw on. Steve looked at Tony. "She needs to
have a talk with someone."
"She's having a talk with my hand," he assured him. "Callia, you'd
better run to your damn room. Call your Aunt Pepper so she can
yell at you too!" He heard the movement in the air duct.
"JARVIS, 'port her to her locked room so I can deal with her
please." He stomped off. "Then call Pepper so she can help
us yell at her." They went back up to the penthouse. He
walked off and over to her door, unlocking it and walking in.
"You're in such deep shit, it'd fill the Grand Canyon, young lady."
"Grounded?" she sniffled, looking down.
"Hell no! This is so far beyond grounding it's not damn
funny!" She flinched and stared at him. "You could've hurt
your uncles. You did hurt your uncles."
"Thought since it would hold Auntie it would hold them. Only wanted them to have quiet time."
"Bullshit." She flinched again. He pulled her over to give
her the first spanking of her life. Then he stood her in front of
him and glared at her. "We will be talking when I'm calm enough to
not swear at you again. Sit. There." He
pointed. "Do not move, do not cuddle, do not call, nothing."
She climbed into the spot on the foot of her bed and curled up.
He walked out to calm himself down. Steve stopped him and held
him, letting him shake. "Thank you," he said when he was more
"I want to spank her too," he said quietly. Pepper came off the
elevator looking worried. "She locked Phil and Xander in Dawn's
"Excuse me?" she demanded, stomping that way. Callia screamed a
minute later. They both winced. Pepper was usually the
gentle one that Callia went to for softness. The ranting was not
They went in there to calm Pepper down and then talk to the child genius
that was clearly having bad ideas already. Joyce got called to
talk to her too. That way they could pound the concept of not
hurting others for plans into her head.
Joyce walked into the office the next morning. "Sorry I'm a bit
late. I tried to get an extra half-hour of sleep because we spent
all night yelling at Callia," she told Fury.
"She locked Phil and Xander in a cell that was designed to leech powers
from someone." He shuddered. "They're on Asgard and probably
trying to heal."
"That's good to know. Why did it affect him? I know that
they gave him something so he could hunt down the other demigods and see
if they needed help."
She went with the cover story they had made up. She was well
aware of why Phil didn't want him to know. "By marrying Xander
they probably linked him since he said Xander gave him a tiny bit of
power to use in emergencies."
"That makes more sense. He's probably sitting vigil then. Are you fit for work?"
"No," she admitted. "But I'll fake it." She went to her desk.
He made notes on that. He wanted to know why Stark had a
containment cell like that. Though, if he was right, it was
probably in case Dawn went rogue. Like they had one at SHIELD for
Banner losing his temper in a permanent manner. He'd have to get
the plans in case they had to capture Loki again.
Dawn walked in the next morning, spotting Callia sitting in her corner
on a stool. "What did you do?" she asked, looking at Pepper.
"She locked Phil and Xander into your containment cell," she said
quietly. "They're on Asgard trying to heal from the energy
"Shit. John, I can help them," she called. Nothing.
"Roque, I can help heal them." Nothing. "Fuck this
shit. Roque!" she summoned. He appeared, blinking at
her. "Take me, I can help them absorb it more smoothly." He
nodded, taking her with him. She knelt beside the bed, touching
each of them on the arm. She concentrated, opening the Key.
The power was drawn to her and she was feeding it to them. Phil's
form stabilized from the column of light.
Xander's open leak had kept him from that but she could feel it pulling
at the Old Ones that were there. She pushed them back and helped
him close it slightly. She opened up a pinpoint one in Phil,
hating that she had to but it'd help him. She got them stable and
back to looking like they might wake up then stood up. "With the
pinpoint one, Phil's going to be strong enough to take on any demi or
god going rogue," she said quietly to Roque and John. "Xander was
pulling in the ancient ones." John shuddered. "They're
stable. They're sucking up normal energy at a better rate," she
"Thank you," John said, hugging her.
She nodded. "Why did she do that?"
"Xander mumbled that she said it was so they could make her new playmates," Roque said dryly.
"If she hasn't been spanked, she's so getting it when I get back
there." They smiled at her. "Seriously. I'm wondering
if they told Mom yet."
"Probably." Phil heaved a huge breath then let it out and went
limp. Dawn checked and nodded. John was checking his powers,
nodding they were fine. Phil blinked at them. "Hey."
"Did someone paddle her?"
"I'm hoping so. If not, my foot's going up her butt," Dawn said
bluntly. He smiled weakly at her. "Sleep, Phil. You're
stable and I made sure of it."
"What's that extra energy?"
"I opened a pinpoint leak to stop you shedding power." He nodded,
shifting so he was more comfortable. Xander was being
watched. Dawn leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.
"C'mon, Xander. Wake up. Please?" she begged quietly.
"I can't do this without you." He moaned and she shot more power
into him, making him wince. "I known, burn out." She helped
him come back from the deeper meditative level. He blinked at
her. "Hey, I'm enough of a pain in the ass to wake anyone up," she
said dryly. He nodded. "You're safe. I made
sure. Push the Ancients out of the way of your leak." He
checked and winced, doing that. "Phil's okay. He's beside
you." He looked at him and let her go, rolling over to check on
"I'm fine. We both need rest," Phil said, patting him.
"Rest, Xander." Xander laid back down and let himself slump.
Dawn went to the kitchen to make cocoa, bringing it up. They both
gave her weak grins. They finished it and went back to sleep.
"I'll tell Fury he's got at least a few days up here," Roque said.
"He does not know," Dawn noted.
"Okay." He took her back to the office. "She got paddled,
right?" he asked Pepper. Who nodded quickly. "Good!"
He went to SHIELD. "We got them both stabilized. They're
both sucking up native energy."
Fury looked at him. "Does that mean my agent's now immortal?"
"Yes, it does. It saved his life."
Fury nodded. "Then that's fine. I don't want Coulson to die. Summers would kill me, both of them."
"At the very least, yes," Roque said dryly, staring at him for that
bullshit response to cover up feelings. "It'll be a few
days." He left.
Fury nodded, making notes and sealing them. He leaned back in his chair. Things were going to hell again.
Dawn looked up from her typing when someone walked off the
elevator. It was a demon. "Do you have an appointment?" she
asked in her most perky voice.
The demon sneered. "You and yours will not stop us, Key."
Dawn shot him with the gun she had been pulling out of her thigh
holster. "Really?" She got up and gathered him. "Boss,
gotta take this down to the garage and burn him." She dragged him
down there and threw him onto the ground. "Now, what the fuck did
you want?" she demanded. The demon got up, holding the
injury. It wouldn't kill it, only fire would.
"I am the harbinger of the invasion."
"Nice to know." He attacked and she blasted him back then followed to beat his ass. "Does your death summon them?"
"No. They're already coming. I'm the herald."
Dawn shouted that over her bond and took him out with a fireball, then
changed her clothes to her unitard as she flashed home. She put on
her chainmail and grabbed a few things. SHIELD hadn't started to
appear yet. "I thought it was during our vacation," she
quipped. She flashed to where it was starting, sending feelings at
the normals to run like hell. They started to run from the demons
in the lead. Six demons, all with weapons. She appeared
down there, staring at them. "You know, I'm not the only protector
of humanity here but they're a bit slow." They growled. She
stared back. "Go home. Don't make us kill you all."
"D," Faith called.
"Come join me, Faith." She walked up to them. "Until the others get here, I'm good."
"That I can accept even though your momma's gonna beat your ass."
"Yup, probably," she quipped back. They shared a smirk and looked at the warriors. "Go home."
"This world is ours. We claim it."
"No, it's mine," Dawn said, flashing her aura. "Not yours."
They lunged and she and Faith fought. She had sparred with
Faith a few times on the sly. Especially since she had
been...altered by those extra memories. She got two of the
demons. Faith got three. One died by arrow. "You're
late," she called.
"Sorry, traffic," Clint quipped back. "Ladies, move." They
got out of the way. More warriors were coming but the rest of
SHIELD was there. Including Thor stomping their way. He
looked at Dawn. "In trouble."
"Necessary." She shrugged. "I'm backup, you know
that." He nodded, moving into a better position. Stark flew
in and dropped Cap. It became a real battle within half a block of
Midtown Manhattan. She kept the portal from widening each time
they tried. She was trying to close it down but it wasn't
working. Tara took one of her hands to help her with that.
They got the portal shrank. "Someone shoot the damn mages on that
side," she yelled. Clint fired off an arrow, getting one.
That made it easier. "Thanks." The portal went back to
shrinking. They were calling up reinforcements.
Dawn and Tara felt something erupt behind them and looked then turned to
deal with that portal. "Um, guys?" Tara called. "We have
Clint looked and called that in, breaking some of the better agents off
to handle that. He hit those mages for the witches then the ones
on the primary portal. Another two tried to form but Dawn blasted
the second one closed. A few agents got some wind damage but that
was fine. They moved to the third and fourth while everyone else
fought the primary one that was spilling out demonic warriors that
looked like really tall turtles. Tara and Dawn got one closed but
they were looking wiped out. Dawn gave Tara a nudge and moved to
the other one, cutting her palm and putting it on the portal. It
shrieked in pain and she winced but it closed down to a pinpoint.
She panted, stomping on it. It wouldn't break. Someone fired
a higher powered weapon into it. She smiled at Rodney and
nodded. He pointed for her to go.
She got led to safety with Tara by some paramedics. "Just
exhausted," she said quietly. "I could use an energy drink."
They handed her some gatorade. She gulped it and rested then got
up and went up to help again. They tried to stop her but she
pulled a weapon she had in storage. She helped Rodney by firing
into the portal. It screamed and went up. They all watched
it burn once the demonic warriors were dead. "I think that's when
Xander puts them in a romance novel," she quipped.
"Probably, and I can see what sort of torment of hell that is," Rodney said dryly. "Go sit down."
She nodded, handing off the weapon and going to baby Tara. Who was
resting. Maria came over to get a few injuries treated so she
turned Tara over to her. Dawn undid the neck hitch of her
chainmail, looking around. "That's a mess."
Rodney was calling orders. They stripped the bodies of weapons,
took three specimens to be examined, and then he burned the rest with
gas. "That's better and safer in case they had something funny
like germs." He stomped off. "Where is Sheppard? I
hate pretending to be him."
"Helping Xander because Callia trapped them somewhere that sucked power
from them," Dawn quipped. "She thought it'd be good and hold them
so they could make babies."
He stared at her. "Is she sane now?" he asked Iron Man.
"I spanked her because it caused harm," he admitted.
"Good!" He walked off. "I'll meet you back at the lab for
reports. Let me get my people back to Atlantis." They got
Stark looked around. "Let's all go home and recuperate." He stared at Dawn. "So grounded."
She shrugged. "You needed magical backup, Stark. Quit before
I screw up your schedule again on purpose and schedule you interviews
with teen girl magazines." She walked off. She could take
off the chainmail in the shadows and find a cab.
Clint walked up behind her and walked her off. "Backup is not
actively participating," he reminded her, leading her to a SHIELD van.
"You guys were tardy."
"Shut up, Dawn."
"Thank you." He gave her a look, getting a smirk back. "Nice job," he said once they were in the van.
"Thank you." She stretched and winced. "I hate using that
much magic. I always need to eat." He nudged her. She
smiled. "Did you run out?"
"Twice. Thankfully we had replacements and you marked all my
favorite arrows." She smiled at that, ducking her head some.
He looked at the others. "Infirmary," he reminded them.
"Just to get checked. Separate out into 'not injured', 'slight
battle injury', and 'hope the docs are superheroes today too'
groups." They nodded. He was thankfully not injured.
Dawn was just exhausted and hungry. Maria had Tara by her desk and
was feeding her. It was going to be okay. He got Dawn back
to her desk before Stark got out of the infirmary with a great dinner
from the caf for both of them. He'd send in reports and make her
do a sitrep too. That way Fury couldn't yell.
His phone beeped with a text. He laughed. She grinned at it
and sent one back to Natasha. "She'll make the next one. I'm
sure there will be one." She dug into her lunch.
Stark came off the elevator, staring at her. "Don't threaten me with Tiger Beat or something, Dawn. It's immature."
"The girls could use encouraged toward science and engineering,
boss." She ate a bite. "Throttle's Xander said that they
were going to post stories about them being so helpless after that long
war and some of them starving to get girls into the space program at
"Cute, furry, and muscled would draw a lot of teenage girls," Clint quipped, stuffing his mouth.
"I don't think I'd encourage girls into the sciences, I'm not one," Tony said.
She grinned. "Yes, but girls adore you, boss. You know that. Plus you can talk about Callia."
He walked off shaking his head. "Still don't see it."
"I can schedule one for you."
"You do and your vacation is canceled, young lady."
"Fine. Though, National Geographic wanted to talk to you."
He paused to turn and stare at her. "Your weapons did make a
difference in how the world's boundary lines are drawn." He shook
his head. "Pepper turned them down but left Maxim, Teen Vogue,
Boy's Life, and MAD magazine."
"I'm being put in MAD magazine?" he asked dryly. She smiled and
nodded. "Wonderful. I like that one. Boy's Life?"
"Cap probably read it when he was younger." Steve nodded as he
came off the elevator. "Teen Vouge is one of the best selling mags
"What am I really going to tell them?"
"They're probably going to ask about Callia and Pepper since they're interviewing you, me, and Pepper."
He whined. "Why?"
"Hey, it's not Tiger Beat or Seventeen."
He nodded. "Cap, I need a martini."
"I could use some water and so could you." He grinned at Dawn and
Clint but walked Tony off. He told him about what Boy's Life
covered. It only made Tony more reluctant so he stopped and
rewarded him for helping so much during the battle. It was good.
Dawn smiled and sent that email to Pepper, who was probably upstairs
waiting. She dug into her lunch again. "Thanks for buying
"Welcome," he said. "I missed mine too." They settled in to
wait. People always overreacted and the Board would start calling
soon by what she knew. There were a few reporters that got passed
up to her through the switchboard who wanted to talk to her. He
smiled as she 'no commented' and hung up on them. "Put a statement
on your LJ page." She smiled at him for that suggestion and put
one up about doing what was necessary during apocalypse battles,
especially when they'd be short handed due to a slayer pregnancy and
some of the Avengers being on assignment. She logged off and got
back to work.
Pepper smiled as she walked past them. "Nice statement."
"I no commented to them," Dawn said, handing her the list she had made.
"Good." She went to start on a statement. Dawn sent her
one. She tweaked it but it was what was needed. She sent it
to their PR person for Stark International. He could talk to the
press so she could hide her baby bump for a few more days.
Dawn had to sneak into the building the next day. "Press is
covering the front," she reported to Stark since he hardly left the
"I saw." He grimaced. "Half of them are looking for you."
"Bullshit." She put down her things and fluffed out her hair then smiled. "One spotted me and ignored me totally."
"Really? Pepper said she's been asked about you twice."
"Pepper got asked about you nearly thirty."
"Fine, so less than half," he relented, smirking at her. She
shrugged and synched their systems for the day. He groaned.
"Called last night. Want to make you give up the suit," she quipped. "Same BS, different chorus of whining and day."
"Can I ignore them?"
"They'll hound Pepper."
"She can take it."
She stared at him. "Baby."
"Point. She'll beat them to death thanks to the hormones."
He shrugged. "I guess I can. What computer were you using
She smiled. "Nothing you need to see."
"I want to see."
"Yes but I need some secrets, boss."
"Uh-huh. Hammer's ineffectual little system? I should've been able to hack that."
"No. Natasha had one souped up for me that's commercially
available. I did the review on that Hammer tablet, it sucked so
I'd never use it for anything important." She walked off.
"So, what, like a Kindle or something?" he called.
"Yup, something like that."
"No wonder it didn't have a camera," he said, getting up to look in her
desk and purse. She swatted his hands. "I want to see."
She looked at him. "If I need it again, you don't need to remember."
He huffed. "What can a Kindle do?"
"Kindles had a bad screen rating when I went looking for an e-reader tablet, boss."
"Seriously?" He finally found it in her bag and pulled it out of
the neoprene case to look over. "A Nook tablet." He got into
the specs and frowned. "Little storage but she fixed some of
that. Android. Wi-fi."
"Some have 3-G."
He nodded, looking over how Natasha had it 'fixed' for Dawn. "Huh. I can do that better."
"Make me one I can lock you out of," she quipped with an evil smirk.
"I can do that." He handed it back. "You're right, you might need it."
"The same as you might need that containment cell some day," she reminded him.
He nodded. "It sucks we have to think about that shit."
"Yeah, but we're practical people, even if you are an
engineer." He swatted her on the arm. She
shrugged. "You are. You have *muses* and *ideas*."
"You have plenty of ideas. That's why Barton can't walk some mornings," he quipped.
She kitty smirked. "Yes, it is." He laughed. Pepper
came off the elevator. "Morning, boss. Did you avoid the
"I had to go through the parking garage and the pass sensor is
down." Tony nodded, going to fix it. "Isn't Andrew off his
"Supposedly yesterday. I didn't get to do rounds though."
Pepper smiled and went into her office. She followed to note what
they had, including that stupid board meeting. "Want me to shoo
off the reporters?"
"Please," she begged.
Dawn walked down there. "Boys, heel," she ordered to the security
team. They fell in step behind her. She walked outside,
staring at them. "It's cold out here so I'm going to make this
short and sweet. You are blocking the company's entrance so
move. If there is a statement to be made, it will be made by the
Stark PR people. You have their number. They gave a
statement last night."
She looked around. "For now, you are keeping scientists from their
labs and my excellent coffee, people. Move." They got out
of a few employees' way. "Morning, my geeks." One grinned at
her and one shook his head. Bruce was like that though when you
got him up too early. "Is there anything you just have to know
right this very second that will take under a minute before I freeze to
"You were at the battle," one said.
"I was closer. I said in the past that if an apocalypse battle
needed my specific skills I'd lend them. Which I did until SHIELD
got there, then I fell back to magical support."
"That Alexander guy?"
"He was injured the night before. He was off healing on
Asgard." They slumped. "He would've been there with us, but I
had to help him not die a few minutes before that battle.
Unfortunately there was a prank call for help that got him trapped
somewhere that tried to eat at his powers." A few more
shuddered. "Exactly. Then I came back from helping him to
find that opening. So I filled in. Anything else? I'm
"Is Ms. Potts pregnant?" one asked.
"Ask her, not me. I do not give out personal information to anyone
about anyone in Stark International or at SHIELD." They
groaned. "Anything else?"
"Was your boyfriend injured?" that same one yelled.
"No." She smiled. "No one at SHIELD had more than
superficial injuries thankfully. The worst were a few cuts and one
that got some wind damage when that second portal fell. Which I
apologized for. They said the ringing in his ears will quit in a
few days. Anything else? Because Pepper and I both have a
LiveJournal and we do use it for personal statements." The press
got moved by NYPD officers. "Thank you, Officers. We like
our people being able to get in, especially with a meeting later."
She smiled. "Anything else you absolutely need to know right this
"When's the next apocalypse battle that you know of?" one yelled from behind his camera. Clearly not the usual reporter.
"As far as I know, the next one is a minor battle in Cleveland sometime
late this spring, and then I think the next one is in Europe but they
have it. SHIELD has a European branch." That got a
nod. "Ask SHIELD, I'm not certain beyond that."
"Is your sister pregnant?" one of the entertainment reporters Dawn recognized asked.
Dawn smiled and nodded. "She is. I'm told it's a boy.
She and Hylal are ecstatic about it. He has four boys from his
first marriage, she has her daughter Callia, and he adores her like she
was his own." She walked back inside. The guards smiled at
her. "Thank you."
"Welcome. Elevator one is warmer." She smiled and got on that one, going up to the office to warm up.
Pepper smiled. "Nice job."
"Probably June," Tony told her.
"I don't need to know unless it's something magical I need to help with."
"True." He smirked. "Thank you for remembering that."
She patted him on the shoulder. "Shut up, grumpy, before I pour
vegetable oil in your suit." He cackled and hugged her but walked
off to check his suit. She smiled at Pepper. "They asked
"He pulled up security footage. Thank you."
"Welcome." She went back to her desk to do the usual things and
get ready for the complaining board meeting later. She found
Buffy's lj had a new entry and read it, snickering over her complaint of
'no sex until the baby's born, why no sex? It's unfair not to let
me have some relief for the next few months. So why can't I have
sex?' Dawn wrote back that orgasms could start off preterm labor
and Buffy had said that Hylal was fantastic to her so she never went
without at least one a day. Buffy could pout but they wanted this
one carried to full term.
Xander groaned as he woke up, blinking at Phil. "Ow."
"Very ow." He gave him a hug, letting Xander rest against his shoulder. "We missed the invasion."
"Damn. Did we lose?"
"No. Dawn helped."
"Cool. I'll yell later."
"Mostly magically. John said SHIELD was late getting there."
"She and Faith took out five of the first six warriors."
Phil smiled. "Head hurt?" Xander nodded. "You okay otherwise?"
"I will be." He made himself sit up and held his head. Roque
walked in and shoved him back down, handing him something. "I
have to eat?"
"That's got tea stuff in it." He handed one to Phil too. "That's those battle bars."
Xander hummed and ate it, nodding. "Not as bad as I remember."
"I had Talsa flavor it better." He walked off shaking his
head. "Have some stress relief. I've got the dogs down
"If we do, our powers are going to be glued together," Xander called after him.
"What?" Phil asked.
"Right now, we're sucking in native energy to replace what we lost,"
Xander said. Phil nodded he felt that. "If we got groiny
right now, my powers would suck at yours, yours would suck at mine, and
we'd be joined that way, unable to be parted. We'd be as joined as
Dawn and her Keys are." Phil shivered. "That goes
well beyond mating and claiming," he assured him.
"I'd suppose it would." He laid back once he had finished the
battle bar. He'd have to get that recipe for the Avengers.
Xander smiled at that. "I know but they probably could use it
"Probably." He popped his neck and finished his own bar. He
laid back down with a yawn. Phil took a kiss. Xander
moaned. "Phil, it's already trying."
Phil nodded. "We're bound together anyway. Is it that different?"
"You'd have access to a whole different part of me. We'd be like twins."
"The twins do have a bond." He stroked over Xander's bare
chest. Xander wiggled some. "You're already my mate,
Xander. I can't go for the polite, barely touching sort of
He sighed. "That's not something to do without clear intent,
Phil. It could mean one of us inside the other and I don't really
want to be pregnant with you." Phil blushed. "Seriously!"
"I know. Though it could go the other way. You're not
feeling as strong as I am right now." Xander stared at him.
"Sense us, you're not." Xander did and the magic caught.
Xander whimpered but Phil kissed him. "It was clearly meant to
happen." Ares appeared and groaned, trying to separate them.
They let him try. "Who prompted the link?"
"I think his grandmother." Ares grimaced. "Well,
congrats." He disappeared. Gaia was sniffling happily.
He walked off shaking his head. He was not going to burst her
Phil rolled on top to kiss Xander, staring down at him. "Are you really upset?"
"Not like we can fight it."
"I can feel the upset feelings."
"Yeah, that's part of that bond."
Phil smiled. "Dawn and hers manage a doorway between them.
We can too with some work." Xander nodded. Phil kissed him
again, letting their powers merge. He moaned as they both went
elemental for a second. Then he was alone and feeling some stomach
pains. "Ow. I didn't think he meant literally." Roque
came up with a potion. He drank it without question, which made
Xander separate as they turned back into elemental forms. He
panted, becoming human, staring at Xander. "Energy pregnancy?"
"I've seen one that lasted two decades and a few years," Xander admitted
quietly. Phil cuddled him. Xander hugged back. That
joining had shown him a lot more of Phil and himself. He might be
able to handle that. He kissed him. "You know, there is
elemental form sex."
Phil looked at him. "Are we strong enough for that?"
"With that potion in use, we can't be stuck for the next twenty
minutes." Phil smiled. Xander grinned. They faded
their physical forms and let the elemental forms sink together. It
opened them fully to the other one. Phil read all his darker
memories, all that he kept hidden. He found Phil's dark side and
it was bad, not as bad but still pretty nasty. They wallowed in
each other for a few minutes then pulled back slowly and
carefully. They came back to physical form hard and rubbing
against each other, mid kiss, and working hard to get off. Xander
gasped and went first this time. Phil chuckled in his ear and
finished off then cuddled. "You may be the best thing that's ever
happened to me," he whispered.
"I am." He squeezed him. "I hope I always will be."
Xander kissed him. "Can't be anything but." He snuggled into
his husband's side and it was good. It finally felt perfectly
comfortable and like he should be there. Phil slept nicely on his
shoulder. Xander let himself drift off and it was great.
Just right as Goldilocks said.
Downstairs, John and Roque shared a look and toasted with coffee.
They'd never have that sort of bond. The godly contingent had a
new power couple and it was the good guys this time.
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