Plotting Old Ones.
"Why don't you want to get remarried?" the young woman muttered as she
stomped away from the Greek Council of Twelve. "You have been
alone a long time and it is starting to wear on you," she mimicked.
"Then the answer to that is to take an official consort," a male voice said from behind her.
She squealed and jumped, hand going to her chest when she saw the
smirking bastard standing there. "Xander! Don't scare me
He walked closer, kissing her on the cheek. "Bia, we both have that problem."
"You scared yourself?" she snorted.
"No, Odin ordered us all to marry with a year." Her mouth opened
and all that came out was a tiny whimper of fear. He
smirked. "I've talked with the woman I'm dating, who still doesn't
want to be immortal. She suggested I ...move around the plans."
Bia swallowed. "Why me?"
"I'm getting the same damn thing you are." He smirked harder. "And for the same reasons."
She shivered. "That could backfire."
"Possibly," he agreed. "But no one says it has to be
consummated. Or that we have to do more than set a date.
Because, think about things."
She considered it. Being his fiancé would give her a lot of
status. It would definitely get Hestia and Hera off her
back. It would get Odin off Xander's back and they all knew that
Xander was looking for a way to destroy the ego that wouldn't leave him
in peace. She swallowed. "Hera would hate that idea."
"Hera would adore that idea." He grinned. "Because it would mean that we might slip and falter a bit."
"I really don't want a husband."
"Me either. But if I don't he'll pick one for me. Caroline thought it was brilliant."
She smiled. "I heard how Cupid described her. She sounds
nice." She considered all the implications. "You'd have to
ask my parents."
"That's fine. Your mom's pretty savvy." He winked and took
her hand to walk her off. Her parents were home and both stared at
them. He grinned. "Odin demanded that I marry within the
Bia's mother, Styx, stared at her daughter then at Xander. "Is that your grand idea?"
"With the way she's being nagged, I'm being nagged....." He grinned.
Pallas cleared his throat. "I heard rumors that you were dating a mortal."
"I am and she suggested it." He grinned. "She doesn't want to be immortal."
"That figures," Pallas decided. "It's a hard thing to give
up." He looked at his daughter. "It would be quite a
coup. You've been friends for years. It'd let you get away
from Hestia." She nodded. "Alexander, how would you take
care of her?"
He grinned. "It would be a marriage of convenience and protocol."
Styx burst out cackling. "Hera would loathe that."
"Not really. Hera?" he called. She appeared, blinking
at him. "Sorry for the rude summons. I'm sure you've heard."
She rolled her eyes. "I have." She looked at the goddess
next to Xander. Then at him. She cleared her throat.
"You two have been friends for centuries."
"A marriage of protocol would be enough for everyone and Caroline likes it," Xander admitted with a grin.
Hera considered it. "It would give us stronger ties to your people
but a marriage of protocol has a time limit, usually of a
century. Which would be long past Caroline's time."
"Usually," Xander agreed. "But I'm a young god. You'd never
need that long to make an alliance and hope for kids since I'd never bed
her anyway. She's much too wild for me." Bia hit him on the
arm. "And she's abusive." He grinned at her. She
swatted him again.
Hera snickered. "That is absolutely a grand idea. It would
also let Hestia quit nagging and drawing me into it, Bia." The
younger goddess grinned at her. "Do you consent?"
She looked at her parents.
"A marriage of protocol for a decade would do her good," her mother
decided, smiling at her daughter. "It'd also help Xander as he
sets up things."
"Which I could use," Xander agreed. "I almost asked Mari to break the curse on her."
Hera shivered. "That would be some loud parties at your temple,
Alexander." He kissed her on the cheek. She looked at
"I believe it would do her good," he decided after checking on his
daughter's expression. She grinned. "It would let her have a
decade of peace and quiet if nothing else."
"It would," Bia realized, looking at Xander, who grinned back.
"Then I accept. But I want a massive ring I can flash."
He pulled one from his temple, holding it up. "Like that or bigger?"
She moaned. It was a pretty light greenish diamond surrounded by a
equally light green jade frame on platinum. "That's
beautiful. It goes with my eyes." She put it on.
Hera brought them back to the Council's chambers. "We are
witnessing a marriage of protocol," she announced. Aphrodite and
Cupid both appeared to protest but Xander shook his head at them and
they stared, mouths open.
"Oh, dude!" Cupid shouted, smirking at him. "That's *so* almost a Strifian idea!" He hugged Bia. "Congrats."
"Thank you, Cupid. Aphrodite?"
She considered it. "You're friends. You can handle it for a century."
"A decade," Hera said. "Alexander is a young god. He needs a
consort who can fix things on him as he sets them up." Zeus
appeared looking displeased until he saw who it was. Then he
cleared his throat a few times and looked at his wife. She
smiled. "It's an inspired choice for a marriage of protocol, don't
you think, Zeus?"
He considered it then nodded. "It is. Do both parties and their families agree?"
"Odin ordered me wed within the year," Xander said with a grin. "Who better for a consort than one I used to play with?"
Zeus looked at him. "If Odin starts to kill you, we'll try to protect you, Alexander."
Hera did the short ceremony, making sure they all heard it was a
decade-long commitment that only needed her being asked to be let out of
it. She did the binding and bells rang all over
Olympus. She smiled and let them kiss then go tell others.
John looked up at the sound of bells. Others were hearing it too
and looked at him. John shrugged. "A powerful alignment on
Olympus or a blessed wedding," he explained.
Cupid appeared with a beaming, happy smile. "Xander asked for a
marriage of protocol to one of ours." He hugged him. "It
*so* rocks the rules." He winked. "By the way, he created
the fountain for us too, John. Maybe you should take a dip."
John shivered. "This is so going to be not good," he complained,
calling Mari. "Mari? Cupid said Xander just entered into a
marriage of protocol." He hung up on her swearing. That was a
bad sign. He called Caroline, who was giggling and said that she
had suggested it to get everyone off their backs. John hung up on
her too. Because now he had a headache and it was probably still a
really bad thing.
Hermes appeared in the bar that most of the immortals drank and hung out
in while they were in London. "Hear ye, hear ye." Everyone
put down their drinks and stared at him, even the normals. It was
clearly something huge. "Zeus and Hera are pleased to announce
that the God Alexander, Protector of Humanity, has agreed to and entered
into an agreement for a marriage of protocol." A few people
choked. "He and his *consort* Bia are to be married for the term
of a decade. If any spawn should occur we'll alert you all to hide
in fear." He rolled up the scroll, got his own beer to drink, and
One of the immortals looked around. "What did Odin do this time!" she demanded.
Kyra looked over. "Odin told him he had to marry within a
year." She gulped her drink and went to get a double shot and
another beer. She had been the victim of a prank from Xander and
The others sent out messages to their contacts and friends. They had to be warned.
Roque got the text message from one of the other immortals while he was
attending his mother. There had been some civil unrest near their
homes and Roque needed to take care of it. He licked his lips and
then sighed. "Mother, does that say what I think it does?"
She took the phone to read, nodding. "It says that Alexander has
now done what Odin wanted and is going to piss off that whole pantheon
over that high-handed demand, my son." She handed it back and
kissed him on the cheek. "He and Bia are friends."
"They're good friends. They played and pranked each other for
centuries," he agreed calmly. He texted Xander to warn him next
time so he'd have something on hand to drink. "I should check on
the lady he was dating later," he muttered.
"She's a beautiful woman but nowhere near ready to settle down. In
a decade, perhaps she will be." She winked and strolled
off. "It does allow him to keep dating her and Bia to find someone
in the wider world that she may enjoy, my son. Plus let everyone
quit nagging them."
"Yeah," he said dryly. "Maybe." He walked off shaking his
head with a subdued whimper. One of the guards sneered at
him. "Let it be known that the God Alexander, my former intended,
has now married Bia in a marriage of protocol," he announced in the
courtyard. Somewhere, someone thumped and another few started to
cry. He smirked. That just made people *so* happy.
Now everyone could have his headache with him.
Thor's phone, that he never used or could ever hope to understand, went
off. He scowled at it. "Stark, this foul creation whines at
"It's a text message," he said, taking it to look at. "Huh. How does that work?" He let Thor see it.
Thor swallowed hard. "All Father is going to rend all of Valhalla
into bricks," he muttered. "Nephew?" he called loudly.
A sign appeared. "Xander and Bia are on our honeymoon planning his
temple and introducing her to other godlings of her status so she can
meet some nice people, since no one ever let her off Olympus
before. We will be back in two weeks," the sign said in a
pleasing, female voice that sounded a lot like the computer on Star Trek
for some reason.
Thor squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. "That's going
to be so bad," he mumbled. He got up and went to get something
from the nice doctors. He'd have to talk to Caroline later to make
sure she wasn't upset.
Tony Stark sent an email from his phone to Fury. That was really
looking like a problem with the way Thor reacted. What was a
marriage of protocol anyway?
Roque sat down in that same bar, summoning Thor and a few others he
knew. "Caroline *suggested* it because she's not ready yet."
Thor whimpered. "Mari told her about Bia and about the group that
used to play. She was giggling over it and Bia introduced herself
to her. Plus it lets Bia off the mountain to meet others she
might like more." He got handed a drink by the bartender.
"Thanks, Mort." He sipped and put the beer down on the
table. "It does mean that Bia can fill in all those gaps that
Xander hasn't gotten to yet during his setting up period." They
all nodded. A few whined. "He said he almost asked Mari to
get that curse of hers destroyed but she might like to snuggle too
much." He took another drink.
"All Father will be most unhappy," Thor said quietly.
"Not much he can do about it," Roque quipped. "If he tries, it'll start a war with Olympus."
Thor blinked. "That would," he realized. "When did my nephew learn strategy?"
"He's had it," one of the others said dryly. "Or don't you remember raids to help out your people now and then?"
"Point," Thor admitted. He rubbed his forehead again. "My
own girlfriend wanted to yell at Odin All Father for his decree."
"You're divorced, you don't need to remarry," Roque said.
"By the way he worded his proclamation, you need to marry one who is
fertile," Thor shot back, putting up a view of the ceremony's end.
Roque stared. "I've only got a ceremonial one. And he can't say anything about my mate."
Thor smiled. "You are mated? That is good news, Roque.
I wish you both happiness and less stress. Does your mother
"And sobbed. She was pregnant for those two Rainforest
godlings." They shared a smirk. "Xander's mother is due to
have twin girls soon." The others moaned and nodded. Roque
finished his beer. "Other than that, if Odin tried, he'd have to
end himself. His own marriage hasn't had any children and I doubt
Alana would count since she's just Odin's."
Tyr appeared, looking confused. "What is he doing?" he asked
Roque. "Strife has appeared, stared silently at Loki, then
disappeared cackling *twice* now. Even Freya and her twin are
Roque smiled and Thor brought the sign that had appeared to him. Roque pointed with a smirk.
Tyr stared then at Roque. "His female companion?"
"Liked it. She's not ready yet," Roque said with a smirk.
"Oh, dear," Tyr said in a tiny voice. "Um.... All Father is
going to throw a fit." He disappeared with a sigh to start
Thor and Roque shared a look. "I'll be hiding," Thor
announced. "All that week." He got his own drink and took it
home with him.
Roque got his own second drink and they saluted Xander and Bia. Because they were both crazy.
Thor walked in the next day, hungover and not in a pleasant mood. "Thor, what's a marriage of protocol?" Dawn asked.
He blinked at her. At least she respected his headache and spoke quietly enough. "It's to make alignments."
"Like what Roque's mother did with the two hotty, young Rainforest gods?"
He nodded. "In that case there was no marriage, just the child to
align them but basically, yes. It makes her a consort and able to
help him handle things going on."
She handed him a soda. "Caffeine could help that hangover. Should we buy presents?"
Thor looked at her. "Just stay out of the way when All Father
hears," he mumbled. "I will be. We can create one of those
holes like on that show for the wolf."
She looked confused. "Coyote's hole," someone female called.
"Oh!" Dawn smiled and nodded. "We'll need one when my mother
hears too. I'll make sure it's stocked with chocolate and ice
cream." She walked off to figure out how to make one of those.
Thor drank the soda and it did help some of his mood improve but he was
still waiting for the official announcement. That would be when
the universe might end.
Xander and Bia had planned this very well. They showed up at the
end of the Asgard Council for the week. Xander snapped his fingers
and trumpets went off. Everyone jumped and stared at the
doorway. They walked out of the shadows with a herald.
"The lone grandson of Odin All Father is returning to Valhalla with his
bride," the herald crowed. Loki choked so hard he was turning blue
in his corner. "We hereby proclaim the marriage of the God
Alexander, Protector of Humanity, and the Goddess Bia of Olympus."
He got out of the way and bowed.
Bia winked at him. "Thank you, Herald."
"Thank you, m'lady." He disappeared with a wink at her and
Xander. He was one of their friends. It was so cool.
Odin stood up. "What was all that noise, Grandson?"
"A true proclamation deserves a herald, especially such an important one
as the only grandson in Valhalla following the dictates of his
grandfather." He kissed Bia on the cheek. Loki was still
choking. One of the Valkyries was trying to help Loki by beating
on his back but it wasn't helping very much.
Bia walked over and patted him on the arm. "It's all right, I will
be a good helpmate for your son for the term of our consortship," she
said quietly. He stared at her, still coughing. Then he
faded out with a whimper. She walked back to hug Alana.
"Sister." She grinned at Alexander. "Congratulations."
"Thank you, sister." He kissed her on the cheek. "You are
still welcome in our temple, just give us some warning first." He
smirked. She cackled and nodded, going to help Heimdall quit
choking. Xander smiled at Frigg. "Goddess Frigg,
grandmother, this is my wife, Bia."
She stood up and came down, smiling and embracing her. "It's a
welcome sight for him to have you however long this marriage is due to
last. Is it a permanent union, grandson?"
"It is a marriage of protocol," he admitted. "My mortal girlfriend
cannot see us married for years yet. That would break All
Father's decrees so I chose the next best thing, a friend I have had for
"I remember seeing Bia before," she agreed, smiling at her. "Will there be issue?"
"Possibly not," Bia admitted. "My father wishes one but I'm not sure I want to."
Frigg smiled and nodded. "That is reasonable. You're still
young, both of you." She gave Xander a pointed look then went back
to her seat. "Freya, what say you?"
"We have liked their friendship and their consortship will be good for the century it is to last."
"Decade," Xander corrected quietly with a grin. Freya could feel
the mischief energy now. She was starting to scratch. Strife
gave her the same itchy feeling. Xander bowed to Odin, followed
by Bia. "So, Grandfather, this is my wife. I brought her to
formally announce our union."
"You were not married in front of your natal family?" he demanded coolly.
"No, we were married in front of her natal family since ours was not in
meeting then." He smiled. "That way no one could hinder our
union. Mother's awake and knows. She spent two days crying
on Bia. Krishna and the rest agreed she was a good choice and
would make a wonderful consort." He grinned. "We came to
hold the most important, announcements last as my father would probably
have much to say if he was here again."
Odin cleared his throat. "This is not what I was expecting. I
was expecting you to find a mate that wanted children immediately."
Xander shrugged with a grin. "I'm not that fond of children and
I'll have a few some decade far in the future. After all, it's not
as important for me to have one as it is for my uncles and aunts as my
father isn't in the succession lineage."
Odin licked his lips and nodded. "That is true," he
admitted. "She's pretty. Does she have a job in her
Xander looked at her. "I'm the binder of Prometheus and I am also
the Goddess of Force." She smiled. "Though it's nice that a
few Star Wars fans have started to pray to me as well."
"Hmm. Are you one of Zeus's get?"
She snickered. "No, Grandfather Odin, I'm the daughter of Titan Pallas and the Goddess Styx."
He nodded. "Then you would be a capable administrator and mate for my grandson?"
"I will be but we are consorts. Until I decide or he begs
otherwise. Though we have been friends for years, a marriage is
He nodded. "It is, yes," he decided. He looked at his
grandson. His only grandson. He couldn't smite him.
Loki would destroy everyone and Xander himself would kill him.
Xander was smiling. "I do believe the decree was that you produce
"That would be fine as I've already fathered two energy pregnancies when
you sent me to Hera for that duty. Plus I've blessed the wombs of
two of the minor wives in Mother's pantheon to help them conceive with
their warrior husbands."
Odin blinked a few times. "They will not be yours."
"They will bear the taint of my blessing and my heir is still my sister
Alana as we share a duty." He smiled at her and she grinned
back. Then he smiled at his grandmother. "Does that not
count as having heirs and children?"
"It does," she agreed. "Especially with the unique taint you carry
from your own blessings and how they got stuck in." She patted
Odin's hand, making him relax. "It's a wonderful thing and I'm
sure she'll do wonderfully helping him set up his temples and
procedures. She's much like what I was when I was younger by what
we've seen when she visited in the past."
Odin nodded once. "True." He stared at them. "A century?"
Odin considered that. His official decree had said that each of
his offspring had to have a child within a decade that was worthy of
being an heir. "We would still need a better heir by then.
One that would be suitable."
"Are we Sparta now?" Xander asked dryly. "Throwing heirs out if they're not perfect?"
"No," Odin said. "I would not go that far, but each of you needs an heir."
"I have an heir. My sister Alana and I share a duty. If I
should fall, that duty is hers alone and therefore she is my heir.
Any ankle-biting heirs in the future would be weighed against her
wonderfulness and then be trained for their duties that I would find
them in my own temple." He smiled at her then at his grandfather
"Though I'm not really looking forward to being more than a stepmother,
Grandfather Odin," Bia said with a smile. "It's a lot of work
raising a child, especially a godly one."
"It is," Frigg agreed, smiling at her. "And I'm sure yours with
Alexander would drive us all nuts like he and Thor did at times."
Bia smiled and nodded. She patted Odin's hand again. "We
accept this marriage of protocol and the date built into it. I
hope she helps you much, grandson."
"Thank you, Grandmother. Grandfather?"
Odin waved a hand. "You have done as I have decreed," he sighed. "Thank you, Grandson."
"I hope I'm not the only one sometime soon. After all, it's lonely
being me." He stared at a few of his uncles. Then he and
Bia disappeared in a golden shower of sprinkles and twinkles.
Odin sighed and slumped in his throne. Everyone else was chatting
about this news. This was huge! Loki was still missing as
well so perhaps he was plotting against his own son this time.
Loki appeared, looking calm and collected. He had went into the
nearest void to get control of himself and throw a fit. "I wish my
son and new daughter-in-law much blessings and happiness for as long as
their contract lasts. I'm sure they'll have much fun and
happiness settling him into his own temple." He looked at his
brothers and cousins, who were all giving him strange looks. He
smirked. "Bia is not the ideal wife I would give him but she is
more than suitable and was the one that helped him and Jonathan with
many plots and plans." He strolled off looking unconcerned.
Alexander's method of getting around the stupidity of Odin's
proclamation was very shocking but very nice in its own way. Plus
he wouldn't have any grandchildren anytime soon.
Odin got up and walked off, talking to his ravens. His wife
followed, smiling and happy. She could help him calm his thoughts
until he was rational.
The others in the halls went back to gossiping and thinking up wild ideas about how that had come around.
Ares appeared in Xander's present apartment. "This is a dump," he said, looking around.
"My mortal identity isn't rich," he said, eating some popcorn. "What's up, Ares?"
"Your temple." He stared at him. "Where is it going?"
"Ummmm.... On a protected mountain?"
"And?" Ares pressed.
"With more than enough area for training, farming for self-sufficiency,
and caves so I can do the creepy testing thing?" He ate another
"Which country?" Ares asked sarcastically. Xander pointed since he
had just eaten a piece of cheeto. "Why?" he complained.
"I do a lot of my work over here?" He shrugged. "That way
some people can find my dumb ass." He ate another cheeto then
rolled back up the bag and got up, changing his clothes and taking Ares
with him. Bia was there decorating. He waved a hand.
"My mountain temple."
Ares looked around. It was fairly bland at the moment. A
nice throne room that wasn't *too* formal. Presently it held
tables with fabric samples. Open windows to air it out. He
searched around with his powers. A lot of sleeping quarters, a few
other buildings that had bunk rooms. A large master suite with
two bedrooms and a large living room. Down the mountain he could
feel some farms being started and some practice areas being set
up. Also a cave that already had a shiny, sparkling thing that
would draw attention. He looked at the kid. Then he shook
his head with a sigh. "I suppose it beats Valhalla if only because
you don't need torches."
Xander and Bia both grinned. She took his arm to look over the
armory and the practice areas. Xander had told her what he'd need
and she had sculpted the mountain to do that. He did the
buildings. Bia bragged about all she could do to help Xander's new
Ares looked at her. "What about hiding it better? It's possible for mortals to get up here."
"They should be able to for training. And he's asking some of the native Gods and Goddesses to protect it too."
Ares nodded, sending Zeus a note mentally. Zeus laid a protection
like was around Olympus so only godly offspring and those that *really*
wanted it could find it and get up there. Or if they were
invited. She beamed and hugged him then pulled him to look over
her berry patch. "That'll be helpful to teach the warriors how to
get out of things." She swatted him and shook her head, showing
the obstacle course. It was very evil looking and Ares grinned,
taking pictures to send to Discord so she could up theirs.
"That'll do," he decided. They went back inside where Xander was
making a snack.
"Thank him for us."
"I will." They settled in to go over Xander's new plans.
Ares had been helping the kid before but Bia was a capable administrator
and the touch of softness the warriors would need when they were
Roque appeared and suddenly there was a new temple going up. He
strolled inside. "I'm starting the stretching spell."
Ares summoned Hephaestus to help and he came to fix the problems
immediately. Suddenly their mountain was as big as Olympus, had
more temples waiting to be claimed, and a lot of pretty statuary.
Xander got up to hug him and gave him a snack too. Hephie grinned
and came in to talk to the young gods. They always had plans and
he was bored anyway.
Roque brought Clay home to their new temple, letting him look
around. "Jensen will be pissed if I don't bring back beer this
time," Clay joked.
Roque smirked. "We have some for you to bring back and make him
beg for." He pointed. "That's Xander and Bia's place.
Their rooms are in the back." He took him down to look at the
obstacle courses and the training yards. "For us to knock some
"That's going to be a bitch," Clay praised with an evil smirk.
"Jensen's going to hate that. Do we have ones for helping him
learn how to fight while flying?"
"They teach their own young that." He walked him around the 'base'
area and it got approved by Clay. Then they went home.
Roque was feeling uncomfortably mushy and hated it about himself.
Somewhere a love goddess was getting her happies in about their lives.
Clay glanced at him. "If you try to pick me up and carry me inside I'll beat you to death."
"Good! Not my style anyway." That broke the mushy
feeling. They went in to get some beers and sit outside to watch
the stars and see what Clay needed him to add to the temple.
"There's a lot of plants."
"My mother's already appeared, approved, painted, put down bedspreads, and then left again," Roque quipped, sipping his beer.
"All the statues?"
Clay nodded. "It looks good. A bit formal but good."
Roque smirked and nodded. "When do we get training grunts?"
"I think Fury's sending some of his green agents for training."
"Wonderful. Xander would probably be over them too." Roque
nodded with an evil smirk. "I hope they survive then." They
clinked bottles and got back to it. "I see you imported other
things," he said with a glance back in their bedroom.
Roque shrugged. "Mom. She reminded me our anniversary is
soon." He took another drink. "I pointed out you're not the
hearts, flowers, and dinner out sort for those things."
"Not really," Clay agreed. "Maybe a firefight since it'll be during the invasion in LA?"
"The week before actually but yeah, I can see that battle being a decent
anniversary present." Roque smirked. Clay had always read
his moods very well. When they got finished he hauled Clay up and
inside to show him where everything was. Including shoving him
into the enema shower to use it on him. "We're working on your new
dick phobia," Roque taunted as he turned it on. Clay yelped and
it was a good thing. It'd let them play for a long time tonight.
Bia sat up and looked over at her window. Then she sighed and
shook her head. "Clay and Roque must have fun with as loud as they
are." She laid back down and went back to reading.
Xander looked over from his own reading, magically making some other
kinky things appear. Roque had always needed a good paddling and
he was sure Clay was the colonel to give it to him. He turned the
page and went back to his graphic novel.
Clay reappeared on Altantis the next morning, handing Jensen one of the
bags of beer cans. He strolled off looking exceptionally smug,
handing John the other bag. "Roque's new temple is all set up and
there's one with your name on it too." He strolled off again.
"I take it you had a good conjugal visit?" John taunted.
Clay smirked. "Very. Especially with the nice studded paddle
someone gave us. Roque clearly had some bad ideas." He went
to clean up and shower in his room. He was still wearing a lot of
Roque's sweat on him. And a bit of cum but that was about normal
for them anyway.
John shook his head. "Smug." He looked in the bag and took
it to his room to hide. Beer was in *extremely* short supply on
Atlantis. Those Buds were all his.
Roque walked into Xander's apartment the next morning. "Bia, is this yours?" he asked, holding up the broken paddle.
She cackled. "No, if it was mine I'd be upset that you broke
it. Since it looks like you had a good night with it, I think it's
all yours." She patted him on the arm and held up a plate.
"No cutesy pet names," Xander complained as he came out. Roque
held up the paddle. Xander grinned and hugged him. "I'm glad
your kinky thing with your mate is so much fun. You didn't have
to brag by showing us though. We would've noticed when you
couldn't sit." He took a muffin and walked out to go warm
up. "Later, Bia."
"Have fun doing soldier stuff, Xander." She smiled at Roque.
"Did you have fun trying out all the new kinky stuff you two bought?"
"We didn't buy it," he said dryly.
"Oooh, did you steal?" she demanded, staring him down. "You know that's not right."
He growled. "We didn't include this in our temple. It just showed up for us."
"Maybe it was your mother then." She smiled.
"I wouldn't put it past her," he complained, sitting down to get some
breakfast before going to help Xander break in the new equipment.
He heard her cackling as he walked off and he knew who had put it in
there now. He smacked his former fiancee hard on the back of the
head, making him yelp. "You deserve it, suck it up," he smirked.
"You're taken, we can't do that anymore," Xander said dryly. He dove at the rope swing and used it to get away from Roque.
"Won't save you," Roque reminded him. "And you're taken too now."
"Bia wants me to import a harem of fun for us." He beamed and
flashed out to do this in godly style instead of normal soldier
methods. Roque smirked and followed. They both needed their
powers exercised, especially since they didn't really admit that they
Bia watched from the front porch, sipping her coffee and shaking her
head. "Boys," she said dryly. It was good to watch Xander
and Roque play. They were cute like that too. Back when they
had almost been married, a lot of young goddesses had wet panties over
those two playing or sparring with each other. Roque managed to
hit Xander, making her wince and hiss but Xander snickered and created a
staff to knock him into the shallow water underneath the pillars they
were standing on. Her first full week as a new wife was turning
out to be okay.
Xander appeared later that night, smiling at the tiny thing that had
called him. "What's wrong?" he asked her. She blinked at
him. "I know you're a future slayer and one of mine automatically
because of who your mommy and daddy are," he teased, tickling her
belly. "But that's no reason to yell for me when you have a dirty
diaper, dear. You have people to take care of that because your
daddy is great like that." He tickled her, making her laugh.
"Who are you and what are you doing in here!" a male voice shouted.
Xander looked at him. "I'm her godfather, dude, and wake the whole
house, I dare you." He went back to teasing her. Some woman
huffed in and he glared at her. "Back down." She flinched
back. He looked at her again. "I can see why you called
me. It's really odd and I'll have to read her to make sure she's
not the sort of half-demon that would hurt a baby slayer. Yes I
will." She cooed. He grinned. "You're so
adorable. Just like your mommy is sometimes." More people
ran in. "She called me."
"Why?" Tony demanded, pushing his way in. "What's going on?" Xander pointed at the nanny. "What about her?"
"Baby slayer senses. She's got enough to get weird feelings from
some people that aren't quite normal." He looked at her.
"C'mere," he ordered. She trudged forward and he read her.
Then he nodded. He looked at the baby. "She will never hurt
you. She'll vow it to me if she's wise."
"Who're you?" she sneered.
He grinned. "Alexander."
"The guy that hunts with her mother?" she snorted.
"That too," he and Tony said. Xander manifested his radiance and
the baby cackled, waving her fists at him. Xander grinned.
She swallowed hard. "I, um, swear I will not harm Callia Stark
upon my life," she murmured. "I thought the blond one was bad,"
she complained to her boss.
"He's my uncle." Xander grinned. He patted the nanny on the
head. "You'd better never hurt her." He stared at her.
Then at the security guys. He grinned. "I'm also her
godfather Xander." They all groaned. "But she yelled for
me." He picked her up and handed her to daddy. Who cuddled
her. "She could use changed," he admitted, smiling at Tony.
"She's really loud too. She was complaining about a mouse when I
showed up. Woke me up complaining about the mouse and other
"Why?" Tony asked.
"What's my title?" Xander asked patiently.
"Protector of mankind?" Tony guessed.
"Which means I'd be over...."
"Oh," he said, nodding. "It's her future job."
Xander grinned. "She's not going to be called." Tony stared
at him. "The line's not that strong in her. From what I know
of slayers and the calling, it looks like she's down the list. So
train in case but don't go stupidly stressed over it."
"That'll work," Tony said with a smile. He looked at her.
"You really do have a messy butt with that stink. Maybe I'll make a
special helmet so I can change you." The nanny took her to
change. He looked at Xander. "Mouse?" He
pointed. Tony looked then got a familiar looking black cat.
She shrieked and pounced the mouse, killing it. It tried to change
into a human but it wasn't going to make it. "Huh," he said,
looking around. No Xander. He took the mouse and shook
it. "Change. Now," he growled. It did and he knew that
person. "Why were you in my daughter's room?" he demanded.
"I wanted to check on her!"
"He goes to Fury," Stark said, handing him over. "He can baby
himself in a cell until then." They nodded. He picked up the
cat. "Thanks, Sonya. That was very good to protect Callia
for me." He petted her and walked her over to let the baby coo at
her. The cat huffed. "Don't worry. She's too young to
crawl after you yet." He grinned. Then he put her
down. She huffed off to her old room. He picked up the baby,
who didn't have a diaper on yet. "You're so great," he whispered
in her ear then handed her back. "Let me go check the rest of the
house for mystical mice people. You have a good sleep, Callia."
The nanny looked at the baby. "If you had told me there was a
problem, I would've handled it. You didn't have to call the mean
one." The baby yawned and seemed to smile. "Though I have no
idea how your mother met someone like that being. Even somewhere
like Sunnydale." She put the baby back to bed once she was
redressed. The nanny settled in to read her a story about the good
gods, her own ones, so she'd know where she needed to lean toward.
Xander looked around LA. It was the day of the invasion.
People were setting up reasons for people to leave the immediate
area. Xander was watching from on top of a building. Roque
was on another one. This was an old ritual from before ancient
battles. Staring over the battlefield, making notes of what was
going to be in your way. Xander finished his coffee and dissolved
the cup. Roque was eating breakfast like it wasn't a huge problem
coming up. Xander felt the magic starting and it stopped. He
gritted his teeth. He hated the lead up spells and needing more
power to do it.
Though if they couldn't, he'd like that even more. No, another
prep spell. Then nothing. He looked at Roque, who finished
his breakfast and coffee, then called his weapons. Xander got his
own sickles and concentrated, feeling the energy. When he felt the
portal snap into being, but still inside, he nodded at Roque.
Roque sent the warning out that it was starting. Stark appeared
within minutes but he was up the coast. The other Avengers started
to assemble. Faith and Buffy were together. Buffy shouldn't
be here but she felt she had to be since she wasn't pregnant
Xander felt the portal open. He flashed down to take out the first
demon out of the building. The others attacked. SGC forces
appeared a minute later and the battle for earth was on. Xander
glanced around. The LA team was with the two slayers. Some
peaceful ones as well. He sent that to Roque, who was wearing
communication gear. It'd just distract Xander. He kept
going. He did not like these demons. When one bit him he
backhanded it and then cut it. He let himself fall back into
warrior mode, calling on his Uncle Tyr to help. Then on Ares and
the other war gods. It was his right and his duty to do so.
They appeared with their chosen warriors and the battle got a bit more
"What sort of fucking moron summons people-eating demons!" Ares complained a minute later, healing a bite.
"They want them to take out humanity for them," Buffy panted, shrugging a
bit. "I guess less people being around would only help them."
"Maybe," he growled. The battle was hard. Roque was working
on shutting down the portal. Miri and Rodney got summoned to blow
it. It finally went down and the battle moved to the clean-up
phase. They were all tired, injured, and sore but it had to be
done. By then the regular military was showing up to help.
They didn't look happy either. Yay!
Roque got the last one before it could bite or use Mari as a hostage, earning a tired sounding cheer.
Xander looked and checked around. "Great job, people. We
won. Even if we were nibbled on we won." That got a louder
"By order of the United States Government, halt!" one of the military vehicles said over their loud speaker.
Nick Fury stomped over. "Mother fucker, I'm Nick fucking
Fury! These are my goddman Avengers and I outrank you!" The
vehicle moved back away from him. "Stark!"
Tony shot out the tires. "Sorry, running a bit low on
power." He let his face shield go up. "Did you want do
Xander snickered. "Of course not. They're going to blame us
for handling things that they didn't want to. Haven't you seen
that before?" He and Roque stared at their higher Gods of War, who
snorted and disappeared. He and Roque turned all the vehicles
into marshmallows. Xander smiled and waved. "If Agent Fury
doesn't outrank you, I sure as hell do." He grinned and
waved. "Hi, Alexander, Protector of Humanity." He and Roque
moved everyone but Fury, who got beamed a second later, back to the
hellcarrier Fury had. "Huh, so," he said, looking at the SGC
guys. "How did you like demons?"
"Stupidly strange," Rodney complained, coming to look him over. "Your brother must be throwing fits."
"Yeah. But I wanted him there to protect your pretty city for
Diama." He grinned. "She'd pout if you guys got destroyed
before she got to run up and down the halls giving you guys ideas."
Rodney smirked. "You wanted to protect the city?"
"Yeah. Because there's wraith heading this way as of what I woke
up to this morning." Rodney growled. Xander grinned.
"Give it three months."
"Shit!" He stomped back to Mari. "Can we get sent home?"
Roque came over to grab them and take them with him. His consort was up there being impressive and in battles of his own.
Xander grinned at the generals. "They're about three months away."
"Thanks for letting us know, Harris," General O'Neill said with a salute. Xander saluted him back and they got sent home.
Fury looked around. "Everyone, do post battle check-ins. Do
medical because I know you all need it since I do." He lit up a
cigar. "Then relax and celebrate we won one for the good
guys." They nodded, going to do that.
Xander patted Thor on the arm. "Want to come visit?"
Thor smiled. "I have a girlfriend. I'm sure she will fuss." He walked off happier.
Xander stretched then winced. "Ow." Buffy swatted him. "Hey!" He glared at her.
"You didn't tell me you got married before you did it!" she said, swatting him again.
"It was kinda spur of the moment." He shrugged and hugged her,
hugged Faith, hugged Dawn and her kitten when she walked in, and then
disappeared to go home and let Bia help him clean up. "Bia, I need
stitches. The damn things bit me."
"I saw that," she called back. "Your bath is already up."
"Blessed be, Bia." He went to soak off the sweat, the bites, and
the sore muscles. She had even put bubbles in there and a lego
ship. That was so cool of her. He adored his friendly wife
Bia smiled from the couch in their apartment. Sometimes Xander was
still so young and full of energy. But cute. Very cute.
Fury stood in front of the president, being chewed out. Fury
finally got tired of it and yawned. "We warned you there was going
to be something this week." The president spluttered and
coughed. "Next time, when we say there's going to be a huge battle
in a city, listen! I never say that shit unless I know it's going
"Who were those others?"
"What others?" The pictures, obviously captured from the film of
the battle, were held up. He pointed. "That's Thor.
He's one of mine. That's Hercules with him and Tyr right behind
him. Thor and Hercules got a bunch of the demi and full gods to
come help." He pointed at another. "That's Ares if I'm not
mistaken. Never met him but I know others of his people.
That's Alexander. He's a weird case but it's actually his job to
do all that. We're all underneath his aegis." He
changed. "That's the two slayers we presently have. Behind
them is the loudest dressed demon I've ever seen but Buffy told me that
the demons helping us were friends of the hunters in LA." He
stared at him. "The rest were O'Neill's people and the other
"We have a demon hunting team in Los Angeles?"
"Yes. I'm told that their sort are overseen by the Powers That Be
and their champion, who is a pouty vampire type, is over that
group. Faith, one of the slayers, tends to stay with them and
handle LA things for me."
The president moaned. "Gods?" he demanded.
"What did you think Thor was?" Fury shot back, staring at him.
"He's not a delusion. He sleepwalks and likes to run you over when
he's doing it."
The president slumped. "I want a full briefing."
"Yup, sure." He walked off. "Later this week. When I
get everything together. My people are calming down from a battle
and I don't want them to go get into a bar brawl to do that." He
got beamed back to his hell carrier.
The president pressed a button and got his VP's boyfriend. "Gods?" he demanded.
Loki snorted and smirked. "Some of us are." The president
glared. He changed into his normal magnificence. "What did
you think I was?"
"Whatever! Who were they?"
Loki looked, pointing out who everyone he knew was. He smiled at
the last one. "That is my son." He handed over that photo.
The president stared at him. "Is he like you?"
"He was a demigod before. Now he's fully broken out and is a full
god." Xander appeared, staring at him. "He asked."
Xander looked at the president. "You're not the one that sent Area
51 to try to capture me for illegal testing and baby making, right?"
The president cleared his throat. "No. I succeeded him."
"Good." He grinned. He looked at his father. "You needed to brag *that* much?"
"Well, yes. You did save humanity. I still wonder where that nasty habit came from, son."
"It had to be you. That's why I'm guardian over some of the villages."
"Good point." He considered it. Then looked at his son. "Are you sure you want Bia as a wife for a decade?"
"Fine. I suppose I can like her. She is very naughty when you two get together to prank Strife."
Xander grinned. "I talked to a few of us in other realms.
One of them told me about putting Puritans in Valhalla as a
prank." He beamed and disappeared.
Loki considered it. "That would definitely make things more
interesting for a night." The president cleared his throat.
Loki manifested throat drops and handed them over with a smirk.
"Sounds like you're getting sick." He strolled off, becoming his
usual boyfriendly self that his lover was used to.
The president thumped his head on his desk. This was so bad.
The other world leaders were going to pick on him about this
again. He hated demons, the avengers, and gods. He was never
going to a church again if this kept up.
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