Xander showed up for his first day of classes.  "Morning, Principal MacNash."

"Let's have a quieter year this year, Harris," he ordered.

Xander looked at him.  "Why wouldn't we?  Most of the bullies are gone.  The teachers know not to nag me about my caffeine addiction..."  He shrugged.  "Unless we all get attacked?"

"We'd better not," he said, smiling at Sam.  "Welcome back, Sam."

"Hi, Principal MacNash.  Jon's behind us somewhere.  He's still grumpy we took him to Mexico and got him laid."

The principal smiled.  "Some boys are like that."  Jon nodded as he walked past him.  "Any injuries, boys?"

"Nope," Jon said.  "But I might thump Xander for...sparring practice."

"Sure, we can spar," Xander quipped with a grin.  He found his locker and unloaded the twelve pack of soda and took one to homeroom with him.  The teacher gave him a dirty look.  He stared back.  "What?"  He hadn't had her last year.  "I'm being a good boy."  Jon and Sam were both in there with him this year.  He wasn't sure why but okay.  He looked at Jon.  "Are you really mad?" he asked quietly.

"No, but it still sucks.  Friends don't let friends wake up in the surf on the beach."

"Sorry.  I was up the beach from you at least."

"Good point."  He took the soda to gulp for him.  "I didn't get up in time for breakfast."

"Sam made scrambled eggs," Xander said.  Sam smirked at him.  "With hot peppers."

"You wouldn't wake up."

"Don't tell me if you guys had a party and didn't invite me," Jon said dryly.  "I don't want to hold any information that I might have to tell the others."  They snickered, shaking their heads.

The teacher stood up.  "Welcome back, students.  This is home room for the deviant personalities among you."  The trio glared so she sneered.  "I picked you three specially with all the problems you caused last year."

"Sure, next time I find someone trying to rape a girl, I won't step in and nearly kill him," Xander offered.  She glared harder.  He stared back.  She huffed off.  "So, anyway," he said dryly.  The other students cracked up.  "Sam, schedules.  Anyone here new and need stuff?"  They all shook their heads.  "Good."  Sam found the schedules and handed them out.  "Why am I in German?" he muttered.  "This is last year's."  He got up and most of them followed him to the office.  "We got last year's schedules," he told the receptionist.

She looked then printed out new ones for them.

"Still a mistake," Sam said.  "I'm not in math for the jocks.  I'm in calculus this year."  The principal opened his door to stare at him.  Sam let him see.  Xander let him see his too.

"I'm not in special ed english.  I passed english last year."

"You did," he admitted, looking over all the other schedules.  "These are wrong," he sighed.  "Let me pull up what you signed up for."  A few more students came in with wrong schedules.  He found the common denominator very quickly.  That home room teacher.  He got them all fixed and the teacher rolls resent with the corrected versions.  Then they all went to their second class.  He looked at his secretary.  "Get her in here so I can yell."

"Yes, sir."  She called that classroom to get the teacher to the office for a chat.  "I thought it was going to be quieter."

"It will be," he assured her.  "We don't have a football coach like the last one."  She smiled.  He glared at the teacher coming in.  "In my office," he growled.  She stomped in there.  Really, how much worse could it get.


Xander walked into lunch and stared then grinned at the lunch ladies.  "Thank you!"  They all smiled back.  "What's not too hot?  I have heartburn thanks to Sam's jalapeno eggs this morning."

"Turkey noodle casserole and some sweet potato fries?  They're baked but nice." the cook suggested.  Xander took those.  Plus some milk.  She smiled.  It might go well this year.  The other students were amazed and happy with the food.  Some even bought seconds.  It was so much better.


Xander walked up to the security guard later.  "Dude, you so rock today.  I didn't have to stop a single bully."  The guard smiled.  "Thank you."  The guy laughed.  "Let me go home and throw out all the peppers Sam bought."  He walked off shaking his head.

"Too late, I already hid them," Sam called, following him out.  "It was nice the sophomores stopped the single bully earlier and told you."

The guard grinned.  "We do try, boys.  Have a safe drive tonight."  They nodded.  The other students flowed out too and he was happy with that.  It was going to be a quiet week.

Actually, it was quiet month until something happened and then it was something huge of the screaming, attacking Jon O'Neill type.  Which Xander calmly killed and made it turn to dust in front of some of the students.

Xander looked at Jon.  "Did you want the vampire?"

"Hell no.  Thank you for being mom-like again," he quipped.

"Keep it up, we'll make you a pack member so you have to cuddle," he quipped back, giving him a pointed look, which made Jon crack up laughing.  Sam came jogging out.  "Vamp be gone applied."

"Cool.  I got the one trying to come up the sewers in the machine shop."  He looked at Jon.  "Why do they want you?"

"I'm handsome, intelligent, like grammar?"  He shrugged.  "I'm what every girl should want really.  Mothers all adore me."

Xander nodded.  "You're better at that than I am."  He smiled sweetly.  "Sam, tonight?"

"On," he agreed.  He looked at Jon, who nodded he'd back them up.  "Thanks."  They walked off together.  "Fuck if it'll happen again," he said at the horrified looks.  The students tried to relax.

The principal walked out.  "Thank you, boys."

"NP," Xander quipped.  "We're going to cut the last two periods so everyone can calm down and we can get ready to hunt."

"No, we want you here," one girl shouted.  "They might come back!  I don't know how to do that!  So therefore you're staying here even if we do have to handcuff you three together to someone."

"I'll volunteer," one girl quipped.  "That's a pretty sandwich to be the filling of."

Xander blew a kiss and winked at her.  "Of course we are, Sascha.  What're you doing here?"

"Things worked."  Xander beamed.  "They're on their way back.  I dropped Helena at your place and came to see if you could sneak off.  And then I found a vampire in a bathroom."

"Everyone, we're going to lock down the school so we can search it," the principal ordered.  "I want everyone in the gym...."

Sam coughed.  "Outside.  In the sunlight."  Most everyone relaxed and nodded.  "Everyone to the football field, go have a study hall."  They flowed that way.  "Don't tell anyone who's not a student so they don't freak out and parents don't start to wail and hover."

"Please," Jon agreed with a sigh at the end.  "They end up crying on me."

Sascha gave him a hug.  "We like you anyway, Jon."

He grinned.  "You're much too dangerous for me, Sascha.  At least for another two years."  She cackled and helped them search the school.

"Air ducts," Xander ordered, pointing at Jon.  He was the smallest.  Jon glared but got boosted up to search them.  He found a few and got them with the specially modified wooden rounds Xander gave him from his locker.  Xander got the ones in the gym.  Sam got the bathrooms and classrooms checked with Sascha and the principal.  Then they went to let the students back in.  They gathered back in the office.  "Seventeen," he reported.

"Five," Sam said, looking at Jon.

"Three or four.  One might've been bigfoot by the hair.  Or a really huge rat."

Sascha shrugged.  "I only had four."

"All right," the principal said.  "I'll get to work on security upgrades."  Xander drew out what he'd need, and it was fairly cheap.  "We can say those will keep animals out," he said, appreciating that.

"They will.  They'll even keep the squirrels out since they tried to ambush us in science class."

"I remember the running and screaming before Sam shot them," he said dryly.  He smiled.  "Go."  They fled, going home to get ready to hunt.  Well, Xander would hit on Helena and get some hopefully then go hunt.  The principal had the shop teacher make those new grates for him.  It was a good project for them.  The other things he could solve by locking the doors at night.  He had no idea why they weren't.


Xander led the way into the vampire club.  The ladies were at home since this wasn't really their style of hunting.  The music suddenly stopped and Xander looked around.  "I go to Mexico for a few days and suddenly vampires move into my town?  How cheesy are you idiots?"  The bar hissed.  The few humans in there started to back away from the suddenly changed people they had been dancing with.  "If you're human, go," he ordered.  They fled.  One had to stop and get a jacket but otherwise they left.

"Why are so many in town?" Jon asked.  "We didn't have this sort of infestation before you got here, Xander."

"I believe it's that blonde lady's fault," he said dryly.  "Since there's been some days that I've felt them sucking at my hellmouth taint too."

"I'll talk with someone," he decided.  He checked his weapons.  Sam did the same.  Xander just stared.  "We have tests tomorrow, Xander."

"I know.  Second period too so it sucks badly."  A few lunged at them and they staked them.  One needed silver.  That was easily done by Sam.  Xander looked around.  "Fine, we'll do this the easy way."  He tossed something into the middle of the room and walked off with the boys behind him.  The entrance was nicely in the alley so they waited for any to run out.  Jon flinched at the 'whompf' sound that went off.

"Vampire specific antigen," Sam told him with a grin.  "Dean and I cooked it up."

"Cool," Jon decided.  A few people ran out but they were falling apart and easily killed.  One had to be beheaded.  The rest...  They looked in when no one else came.  There were a few with gas masks on.  Xander shot them in the chest with the wooden bullets.  They went to dust.  The rest were all piles of ash.  Xander walked in to check, staking one hiding in a closet who was whimpering as his fingers fell off.  It was a niceness.  Xander got them a beer and they left together.

"That's cold," Sam complained.

Xander looked at him.  "They don't need 'em."

"Good point I guess."

"I trained on the principle of loot, Sam."


Jon was shaking his head, gulping his beer before they got onto the street.  "That's not what I'm used to."

"It's easier when there's half an army," Xander admitted.  "Otherwise it's all stake and sword stuff."

"What are you boys doing?" the officer walking up the street asked, staring at them.

"We decided we didn't want to go to the vampire club after all.  It's really quiet in there and a bit creepy," Sam said with a grin.  "So we're going to hang out with some ladies at home."

"With swords?" he demanded dryly.

"We're planning our next D&D campaign," Xander said.  "Don't you game, Officer?"  He grinned.  "Sword work is *fantastic* for upper body muscle building."  He pushed up his t-shirt's sleeve to show off his.  "See?"

"I do.  You boys are carrying beers."

"They're not open," Sam said, showing his.

"Why doesn't your friend have one?" he asked, looking at Jon.

Who shrugged.  "I'm not in the mood for a beer really.  There's no steak."

The officer snorted.  "Are you driving, son?"

"No, sir, it's my car," Xander said with a grin, pulling out his keys.  "I barely let Sam drive my car unless I have a concussion.  A man's car is an extension of himself."  He grinned.  "That's why I'm going to change this one for something more deadly and me soon."

The officer walked off snorting.  "Whatever, boys.  Go home."  They had disappeared by the time he turned around.  He went to check on that goth club but it was silent and had a lot of dust floating around.  Though no locked door so that was strange.  He'd have the shift supervisor make note of it to pass onto the morning shift so they could tell them to watch for it.  Then he moved on.

The kids had probably stolen the beers but he couldn't prove it so they could go be geeks.  He reported the talk to his boss, who asked what they looked like.  He got handed the BOLO about Harris and blood hunters when he described him.  The officer moaned.  So apparently it was an odd night in Colorado Springs.  They had so few of those these days.


Jon called his older self when he got home that night.  "It's Jon.  We may have a slight issue with the gate.  Because for some reason they're pulling at Xander's hellmouth taint and we had a shitload of vampires earlier, Jack."  He listened.  "No, handled.  Efficiently handled by Xander.  Who then got us beers from the dead bar."  He listened.  "No, like half a platoon of vampires.  Exactly."  He nodded as Jack complained.  "Xander thinks it is because now and then his taint pulls him that way.  Yup, he's fairly certain.  Well, not like I can call and tell them," he said dryly. "And you're their boss, Jack."  He hung up and went to shower off the remains of the dust.  They had found another troupe of vampires out and about so had gotten them before making it home.


Clay reported back.  "Sir," he said, saluting the NSA official that had sent them overseas.  "All targets fixed.  Plus three others."  He handed over the report.

He read through it, nodding slightly.  "Excellent job, Colonel."  He looked at him.  "Is there any chance of them reforming?"

"They're like roaches, sir.  There's always a chance but it'd be behind a cleric of some sort or another probably and probably out of Iran or Pakistan from what we can tell.  We did hobble some of their operations as well.  In the six months we decimated a lot of the drug and weapons lines they had set up.  Plus a major smuggling ring from Saudi.  Saudi eventually learned of that and helped us.  Apparently Helena had a contact among them so he took over the investigation on whoever had it and helped us stop them."

"That's good to know.  Who is Helena?"

"Sir, you were in Xander's folder?"  He nodded once.  "The KGB agent?  Brunette usually?  Pretty girl?  Very volatile?"

"Her.  Fine.  The other one, the German?"

"Is in Colorado Springs visiting the last we knew," he said dryly.  "They appreciate what the boy can do for them, sir."

"I see."  He nodded once.  "All right.  How many ends might unravel?"

"Page six."  He turned to find the loose ends that were left.  "That one needs to be caught but he somehow found out about the teammate we had undercover so he's not coming out anytime soon.  He was paranoid before but now he's even worse.  I believe he has visions."

"You saw this?"

"From what was reported on another's surveillance shift, he grabbed his head, doubled over, and started to pray to Allah.  The same as Harris does when he has his, only he prays to the Goddess."

"Huh."  He made note of that and kept going.  "This one should've been wound up."

"We couldn't get him out of his cadre of civilians.  I know we could have used deadly force, sir, but none of us were comfortable with blowing up the orphanage he was surrounding himself with.  The backup team has him in their sites so they can get him if he ever gets away from his protective barrier of children.  We tried to poison him but the kids stopped it.  We're not sure how."

"Good to know," he decided, making that note as well.  "You did more than I expected in the six months, Colonel."

"Thank you, sir."

"And much more quietly as well."

Clay smirked.  "It'd only cause problems if they knew the US was off stopping things."

"Yes it would."  He stared at him.  "You know that you cannot ever mention to anyone that you were there?"

"Yes, sir, and our hacker has insurance to make sure no one tries to wet works us to ensure that."  The higher up gaped.  "Sir, we've been on these sort of missions before," he said dryly.  "We've actually been declared dead in the past."

"That's why I picked you," he admitted.  "That and you had that knowledge already.  I can't guarantee later people won't think of it but I did not have that in my plans.  I was going to give you a month of stand down to make sure whatever problem in Colorado Springs is solved.   For some reason Fort Carson has a lot of people complaining of vampires."

"Interesting.  We can go do that."

"Good man.   Go on stand-down until you're recalled, Colonel.  Good job."  Clay nodded and left.  He took the report to his boss, who took it to the president.

"Sir," the senior agent of the NSA said as he was let in.  "I have a report from the first team that went."  He handed it over.

The president read through it, nodding slightly.  "That's a good portion gone," he said, smiling.  "The last few he noted the backup team had them.  That's good."  He put it down.  "Make the analysts at the CIA keep a watch on that area and listen to any chatter."

"I will.  Ours as well, sir.  Also, I'm told that he sent that team to Colorado Springs to see what was causing the mass hallucinations of vampires."

"As I heard, you don't have clearance for that project, Nelson."  He smiled.  "I'm told they're all swearing though."

"Good to know.  Should we move assets into or out of the area?"

"Out of.  This may take someone like Harris to cure."

"Vampires are real?"  The president nodded.  "We know that for sure?"  He handed over an older report he dug out of his desk drawer.  The NSA head read it over, shuddering.  "Disgusting."

"Very."  He took it back and dropped it back into the spot.  "It'll be handled.  Clear the offices if you can do so quietly.  We don't need to be missing any more agents than we have to.  The people are being protected."  He nodded and left to pass on that order.  That would make the people in New York relax as well.  They could use the easing of the tension.


Don walked up to Mac, who was outside catching some fresh air.  "Hey."  Mac smiled at him.  "You and Claire all right?"

"We're pretty good actually," he admitted.

"Remember, Mac, a change is just that."

"I know.  I realized a few nights back that I could keep her for a few days longer and then have her die in a car crash or something.  She soothed me a lot and said it'd be all right.  So we'll take it as it comes.  Did Xander tell you to remind me?"

"Nope.  Danny did."  He shrugged.  "He was trying to figure out what to do with little miss 'farm girl of Montana' barbie."

"It'd be hard to know he had her and then had to let her go."  Mac looked at him.  "What did happen over there?"

Don sighed, leaning against the building, pulling one foot up.  "About a week after Xander died, Sam got a vision.  Huge, horrible thing.  Something huge was going to take advantage of the grief the girls were in to take them down."  He looked at him.  "So Sam told us and we all did the imprint because he also heard how Xander got switched."  Mac nodded slightly, leaning beside him.  "The lead up to the battle took almost a month.

"Little battles, small horrible things that kept piling up.  Even John got called back from his post protecting all of us from weird shit to help us that time.  It was a full battle.  To the point where we were all sure we weren't going to win.  Even if something went our way we were going to lose.  We had lost a lot of the best of us in the battle.  None of the pack but the slayers."

He sighed.  "Then Rosenburg lost her damn temper."  Mac shuddered at the ice in his voice.  "Rosenburg.... she was really powerful.  She had nearly caused her own when she was grieving.  Xander stopped her that first time.  This time there wasn't any way to stop her.  She killed all them... but it triggered the collapse of our world."  Mac shuddered harder.

"Yeah.  Well, Dean shot her before it was a done deal.  So we wavered in limbo for a few weeks trying to figure things out.  In the end, some parents decided they wouldn't let their children live through that experience.  They didn't want their last day to be *that* day.  Which I kinda get."


"Couldn't.  Stopped Lindsay when she tried," he admitted.  "He understood why, didn't hold it against her, but he couldn't.  He loved Lucy more than anything.  Especially her momma.   In the end the vacuum won and it was one hot, burning flash of pain that made most of us wish we had just suicided instead of feeling that.  Then it was done.  For all but Dean apparently.  Xander told us that he had still been there thanks to the attempted apocalypse the angels had done.  He was protected somehow.  So Dean walked the dust and shell for months before someone else stopped him.  A higher up called Xander and he released him so they could start things over," he finished quietly.

"If there were higher powers, why didn't they step in?"

Don shrugged.  "Most of the time it was a chess game to 'em.  People like Cordelia," he said, nodding at her since she had appeared in front of them.  "Get sent out as a messenger to warn you bad shit's coming."

"They're trying to undo it," she admitted.

"Won't help any," Don said.  "It'd create a paradox if even one of them remembered, and all the pack is immune from memory spells."

"I know."  She smiled.  "That battle won't happen."

"That would require Xander not dying."

She nodded.  "Yeah."

"Does that mean he's going home?" Don asked her.

"No.  He's staying here.  I pointed out that contradiction but no.  They won't remake him.  They did all the probabilities and he's staying dead but a few superior warriors are coming to help and they'll solve it before Dean has to shoot Willow."

Don shook his head.  "You can't.  Because that won't work either.  Unless you got a whole army or John manages to get word back to his people to zap 'em somehow."

She blinked a few times.  "That's...  I forgot he was trying a few times but they wouldn't answer."

"They were evacuating the important people," Don said dryly.  "That's their protocol."

"Good point.  I'll offer that solution."  She went to talk to her old bosses, because she was staying.  She also went to talk to Xander about getting something that could help with that battle.  Xander had a few things that could help, including one he had built because of a vision.  So when they rewound time there and the battle was raging once again, she went to hand that canister to John.  "It will destroy anyone with any sort of demonic influence."  She looked at the slayers then at him.  "Including some of them.  Call them again."

She faded out, going to get the last few on the base to listen and answer.  She turned on the intercom, making someone run for the command post to answer John back.  It was a terrible decision to have to make but Sam took it and did it, kissing Faith and pulled her out of the way.  He called a fallback of all the girls he could.  Most of the heard him and ran.  Some of the demons did.  It had a finite limit.

Buffy was finally released and sighed in pleasure as she faded into the light.  A few others went too.  Castiel came to escort them.  The other slayers got hellishly sick.  Including Faith.  John got an idea to taint them with his bug taint or Xander's mermaid taint.  That saved the last hundred.  But they were weaker.   The slayer line itself was weaker.  It would get stronger again when the later potentials were born but for right now, slayers were fragile.

The pack had that terrible call to make and had made the right one, but it still ate at them.  She knew it would but they knew they had to.  Buffy wouldn't have.  Faith would have.  The other girls would've hesitated.  Though Dean still got to knock out Willow for trying to call them back.  He resisted the urge to shoot her.  Barely.  Castiel sent Michael to deal with her this time.  She had tried to mess up the Lord's plan as well as the one the other higher ups could agree with.

Michael had no idea that she was tied directly to the old Sunnydale hellmouth  He had no idea that her death would open it in a way that meant it ripped, couldn't be closed.  Now the angels had to manifest and help fight for the humanity they had tried to destroy.  They ultimately barely won.  Humanity was still destroyed for the most part.  Very few were left.  None of the pack made it through the end battles.   Dawn's form could only be in one realm at a time and she had been called back there by someone.  She went postal when Dean died.  So the world still ended.  The higher ups decided to fade and go to other realms since they couldn't repair that damage.  It was permanently gone.

Just for fun, Loki ran what might happen if Xander had been around but injured.  The girls had won the battle, being pissed at hell for demons hurting him.  It had been a short, bloody, nasty battle that cost them Speed and Don.  The other higher ups groaned and left it there.  They wished the new ones good luck dealing with him and went to some rest or another.  Loki merged with his self in that new world, watching over his little magnet of chaos energy.  He had always adored Xander.


Dawn woke up screaming and flailing, not realizing she was in human form.  She beat at the monks as she sent herself to Dean, to cling to him.  "Oh, god, they tried to undo it," she muttered into his throat.

Dean turned to hold her.  "Shh, Dawn.  What happened?"  She sent it to him and he grimaced at the sudden brain movie he had.  It was horrible and he squeezed her.  "It can't happen here."  She looked at him.  "It can't."  She sighed and went limp, going back to ball form.  "Huh, didn't know you could do that, munchkin."

"I'm not that short," she complained.

The waitress Dean had been hitting on stared at the ball.  "Did she...."

Dean nodded.  "Yeah, she's a family responsibility to watch.  We love Dawn.  She's a nice girl."  She nodded and left him alone, going to church instead of getting laid that night.  He took her back to the motel room.  He called the others in the pack he could to let them know.  They all agreed not to tell Xander.  He didn't need to know how bad it had went.


Clay walked into the school, hearing the screams.  "What the hell?" he demanded when he ran into the worrying nurse.

"Some girl's bad boy biker bastard of a boyfriend decided to storm in here," she said.  "Aren't you Winchester's father?"

"Cousin.  We look alike."  She gave him a begging look and pointed.  He went that way.  The trio were beating the crap out of him and his buddies.  "I taught you better," he snapped, hitting one of them.  He went down.  Xander tripped one and kept himself from stabbing his.  The knife went into Jon's instead since he was struggling.  That one went down with a yelp.

Sam kicked his back toward Clay.  "We need to know where the girls they took are."

Clay nodded, grabbing him and making him scream in pain with a good pressure point squeeze.  "Where are they, maggot?"  The idiot whimpered.  "I've seen tougher in basic training their first night.  Now, where the fuck are they?"  He gave him a hard shake.

Xander pulled out his special dagger, letting it flash in the light as he moved closer.  "Oh, let me find out, Clay.  Please?"

"Save me!" he begged, trying to back away.

"Then I'd tell us, fucker," Xander offered.  "I'll back off if you tell us."  He babbled an address so Xander left him a small reminder in his shoulder.  The man fainted.  Xander cleaned off his dagger and put it back.  He looked at the principal, helping him off the floor.  "Want us to go look?"

"They have a lot of police officers in this town, let them," Clay ordered, staring at him.


"Thank you."  He looked around.  "Boys, we good?"

"We're fine, Clay.  Thank you."  Sam was helping the two crying girls up, letting them curl up against him.  "I know but it's over with and you'll know not to date someone that gross again," he soothed.  "Can we get their parents to take them to the ER?" he suggested.  "They're not injured enough for an ambulance."

"Of course," the principal said.  "Come to the office with them, Sam.  Boys, stay here until officers show up."  They nodded, cleaning up the mess.  Xander took his knife back to clean off and hide.  Plus his other one.

Clay watched.  "Xander, do you know how to brawl without a weapon?"

"I'm fairly good on upper body strength, but I throw a crappy punch," he admitted.  "I've tried like hell to correct that but I'm better with weapons."

"Some people are.  We can work on that for a while."  He looked at Jon.

"I'm better with hand-to-hand than fighting with a knife."

"We can work on that too," Clay said with a smile.  Officers came jogging up the hall.  "They're mostly down to moaning as they try to wake up, boys."

Xander kicked one on the thigh.  "This one got a reminder scratch because he told us where the ones they have hostage are."

The officer in the lead looked at him.  "Harris, do everyone a favor and get laid soon please?  Before you start to go vigilante?"

"I did last week but he made sure I flunked a math test because the teacher doesn't allow make ups."  He kicked him harder this time.  "Fucker, I need that grade!"

The officers took them away from him before he hurt another one.

"We'll talk her into it, Harris," one promised.  They got the people into the van to take them back to the station.  Clay gave them the address and they sent SWAT there.  The other guys were defeated like the pussies Harris called them.

Clay looked at them.  "I'll help if she won't give you a make up, Xander."

"Can you tell Sam I don't want to go to college?"

"No.  College is good for a soul."  He stared at him.  "But we can talk about it later.  There's all sorts of versions of college.  Including trade schools."  He walked them back to the office.  "Here's the other two," he said.

The principal looked up.  "I'm trying to talk her into a makeup, Xander."


"If not, you'll make it up later," Sam sighed, looking at him.

"And hear your dad bitch?"

"Point," he admitted.  The bell rang.  "Speaking of, that's my call to math class."  He ran off.  One of the other students had taken his backpack to the math class and he gave her a hug for it.  He sat down, letting the teacher glare at him.  "The police are getting the girls they have hostage.  They have the ones who attacked here to get that one's girlfriend and her buddy.  Xander and Jon are in the office."  Jon walked in and sat down with a groan.  Another girl handed him his backpack, earning a smile.  "Clay?"

"In the office going over things."

"Enough," the teacher said.  "It was exciting but now it's time for the more subtle excitement known as math class."  She handed out tests, letting them get to work.  Sam got the end quickly but stared at it.  She stared at him.  He looked up.  "I forgot my name," he mouthed, then sighed and went back over his problems.  He did finally remember his name and put it on there.  He handed it over and went to get a soda from Xander's locker.

Jon followed a few minutes later.  "What happened?"

"My mind blanked when I went to write my name," Sam complained.  "It's like a total brain fart."

Jon grinned.  "I've had that.  It'll be okay.  Not like she's going to take off major points if you didn't put it on there."

"No, I finally remembered."  He popped the lock open and handed Jon a soda and then got one for himself.  "Xander needs more."  He relocked it and walked off to the office.  "Xander, we stole the last two sodas."

"We'll get you some more after school," Clay offered.  "Or I'll send Jensen to get you some and bring it."  He looked at the boys.  "You two good?"

"The math teacher was in a more PMS-y mood than usual," Jon warned.  "She nearly growled at me."

"She did glare at me," Sam said, sitting down and taking a drink.  Xander took it to get a drink then handed it back.  "Sorry.  If I had thought there weren't more I would've left you one."

"I'm not sharing spit with you, Sam," Jon quipped.

Xander grabbed him and pulled him over to kiss him.  "The pack cuddles, Jon."  He let him go with a grin.  Jon swatted him, shaking his head.

"I don't want to see you do that to Jensen or Cougar," Clay ordered but he was smiling.

"Sure, you can live in another apartment," Xander said happily.  "The one above us is open.  Or we might be moving.  My prepaid rent runs out in about 3 months."

"We can start looking," Jon decided.  "That way you have a bigger living room for all the pillows for pack cuddling.  Plus a room for all the damn dusty books."

"That might be nice," Xander agreed.  He shrugged.  "I know there's more money needed for buying a house."

"And a year of age first," Clay warned.  "Rent one."  Xander nodded he might do that.  "With a few bedrooms."

"Of course.  We can't all cuddle together every night."

"I don't need to know," the principal assured them.  An officer was let in.  "Did you find my students?"

"Yes, sir."  He looked at Xander.  "Please calm down?"

"He made me miss a math test I can't make up.  Which means Sam's father is going to bitch my ass out for something I couldn't help."

"We'll talk to her."  Sam and Jon shook their heads.  "She won't?"

"God himself could come down and she'd deny him," Jon said.

"She is a bit of a hardass," the principal admitted.  Jon's phone rang.

"Yeah?" he answered, listening.  "You can stake, behead, or zat," he ordered.  "We'll be there in a few."  He hung up.  "There's a vampire raid on the mountain."  Xander and Sam stared at him for a heartbeat then headed for the car.  Xander got the rest of Sam's soda.  Jon followed with Clay following him.  "Military," he told the officer.

"Okay," he agreed.  "We'll make sure they don't get out.  The mountain?"

Jon nodded once, getting into the back of the car.  Xander got in to drive, Clay got into the front, Sam got into the back.  They sped off.  "Do we have gear, Xander?"

"Yeah, some.  If someone's at home, tell them to break out the blue shoebox for brown shoes in the third closet," he told Clay, who called that.  He hit the road for the mountain going faster than he probably should in civilian traffic.  But yay.  They made it to the gate in six minutes.  The guards tried to stop them but they dove out of the way.  Xander parked by spinning the car into a free spot.  They piled out and got weapons.

"We're here to solve the invasion problem, soldier.  Make sure none of them leave.  Clay's team may be showing up.  They go by the team name Losers."  He grabbed what he wanted and let Sam have something.  Xander petted his axe as they walked, checking for sharpness.  A few stakes into his waistband.  His guns got reloaded with mixed bullets and flare rounds.  "Be careful," he told Clay.  "Those are sodium flare rounds."  He looked at him.  "They'll kill normal people too."

"Most bullets will."  They walked in and found people already down at the sign in desk.  Jon checked, they were dead.  They moved down to the elevator, the hall was a dead end.  "I'll take NORAD's old hallway," Clay offered.  They nodded.  The boys went down to the next floor and took off to handle things.  They didn't find too many and got back on to go down a floor.  They ran into Clay's team with him.  Jensen tossed over a few more bullets and something else.

Xander nodded his thanks and they went down the next floor.  Most of them were empty or there wasn't really a floor there.  So it was easier to move deeper faster.  They came out on the level with the infirmary.  The two groups broke apart.  The infirmary was barricaded.   The other offices were shut.  They checked doors, they were locked.  They moved on, finding a few victims.  The biters were farther up the floor.  They attacked the group and Xander got a few with his pretty axe then got kicked.

He dropped it and staked then picked up the axe and threw it at another group.  They were all hurt and one decapitated.  Xander picked it up on the way past them.  Jon cleaned up the mess and caught up.  He and Sam were just better at this sort of hunting so they took point.  The same as Roque and Jensen were.  Because Jensen had been taught and Roque was good with blades.  The others followed and guarded the sides.

They cleared that floor and told the infirmary.  Jon got them to open the door and told them where the people were and they were heading down.  He got on the elevator at the last moment.  They went down another floor, finding soldiers waiting.  They took point because they knew how to handle the biters.

The soldiers watched, helped, and kept going with them.  Xander tossed one a stake and he nodded, staking that one.  He stared when it turned to dust.  Xander grinned and moved on.  They came to the last group in the gateroom, trying to hold a standing point.  Xander and Sam were breathing hard.  They gathered and made a plan.

"How does it lay out?" Clay ordered quietly.  One of the guys made motions with his hand to outline where things were.  "All right.  Boys, I want you on the wall side.  They'll try to run that way and you're more tired," he said, staring at Xander.

"We can help," he noted.

"You will.  Make sure they don't get out."  Xander nodded.  "Losers, take the tight right flank.  Guys, I want you to range out.  We'll take the majority of attacks because they'll want the doors, get what you can."  They nodded and one got the door open.  They rushed in firing and the vampires panicked.  A few went toward Xander and Sam.  A few more went toward the team.  Some tried the new soldiers for food.  They kept them off and Xander moved up to help a few who weren't used to this form of combat.  "Harris, doorway," Clay shouted.

"Jon has it."

"Good."  They got the last ones and then looked around.  Xander turned and threw a stake at the hallway.  Jon caught it when it didn't go in deep enough and hit that one harder.  It dusted.  Xander slid his axe out and Jon got the one that didn't dust when he tried.  The last one went whoosh too.

Jon looked at the axe then at Xander.  "I can see why you like these."

"They're really handy and a bit lighter than my swords."  He patted one guy that was choking on the back.  "Rinse and spit, dude."  He started to gag.  "Hit the bathroom at least?"  He ran off to do that, one of the soldiers going with him.  Xander looked at the ring, then at Sam.  "Is the one in the book upside down?"

"Maybe."  They walked off.  "Heading to the elevator to go to the infirmary," he reported.  The other soldiers followed.  They walked in and Xander looked around.  "Anyone dead, we need to check their mouths," he said calmly when Doctor Lam stared at them.  "In case they decided to make a second wave."

"If so?" she asked.

"Most of these were stakeable.  Implant a toothpick in the heart, Doc."  She nodded, sending a few of the soldiers to gather up bodies.

"We found some up by the gate," Jon reported quietly.  That got another nod and they started up there.  "Doc, do we need to help gather people from offices?"

"Let us do this group first and then we'll get the hidden ones.  Are you boys injured?  And are they pack members, Xander?"

He grinned.  "This is Jensen and Cougar, these are pack members.  This is their team, who has worked with General O'Neill in the past.  This is Colonel Clay, Cougar, Jensen, Roque, and Pooch."  She nodded, shaking their hands.  "Did we ever figure out what the hell in the gate was drawing them?"  Everyone stared at him.  "Something you guys do sucks at the hellmouth taint I have every few weeks.  I figured that must be what's drawing them."

"The damn thing must be miscalibrated," Cam muttered.

"The pictures we have of the myths have it upside down too," Sam said.  "Daniel has those books."

"We'll look at that too," he decided.  "C'mere, get tortured, boys."  They walked over and let the doctor check them over.  "Colonel, thank you for butting in with the trio."

"I was helping them with a problem at the school when someone called O'Neill."

"Again?" Lam demanded, looking over from working on some of Cougar's cuts.  "Why this time?"

"Some biker boys wanted his girlfriend and her friends to be their pack bitches.  Broke into the school to gather them with the others they had hostage," Xander said dryly.  "Which meant I missed a math test I can't make up.  I *so* should've beaten them harder."

"We'll do what we can," Clay sighed.

Doctor Lam smiled at him.  "We love him worrying about normal things, Colonel Clay.   It's much better than the other things he could be worrying about, like weapons."  Xander cuddled his axe with a grin.  "Aww, it's a sharp and pointy teddybear.  Mitchell, hold it for him while we work on his injuries please.  I'm sure he'll let you."  She stared at him.  Xander shook his head.

"We can do each other's," Sam said, shifting closer to Xander.

"Fat chance and if you move, I'm having you conscripted."

Cordelia appeared, her hair blowing.  "No," she said slowly and clearly.  "He may not go military.  It will mean we'll have another world destroying apocalypse when he's off world."  She looked at Xander.  "Awww," she said with a mean smirk.  "I should post a picture of that up on the higher realms."

He shrugged.  "Half of them want my ass anyway because they're evil and dangerous," he quipped.  "They should think I'm hotter with a weapon I stroke and take good care of."  She blushed and disappeared.  He grinned at Sam, who grinned back.

Mitchell took the axe to look over.  "It's nicely compact for field maneuvers.  Good, sharp edge.  Fairly plain and a dull finish so it won't tip off people by twinkling.  Nice choice, kid."  Xander smirked.  The nurses came over to help him and Sam.  Jensen tried to get out of the nurse's way but Cougar held him in place.  Doctor Lam smiled at him.  "Guys, fair warning, she's mean and she has huge needles.  We all do what she wants or else she tortures us."

"You missed the Wolverine treatment I got," Xander told Jensen.  "She even used huge needles then."

"Did you get claws?" Jensen asked.

"No, we were weeding out his DNA taint when it grew," Doctor Lam said with a smile.  "He was a good boy most of the time.  Even if he did insist on getting out to go to a shooting match and then came back to finish it."

"Yeah, it was important," Jon said.  The soldiers relaxed at the banter going on.  They got fixed up and got made to wait in an office.  The hidden people got found and checked over.  Only two vamps were in an office and they got shot then staked.  Finally the general walked in.  Clay and his boys stood and saluted.

"At ease," General Landry said, smiling.  "Mr. Harris, why did you show up?"

"Because I got called," Jon told him.  "Because your people aren't trained to fight vampires and I'm presently being trained to fight vampires and other nasties."

"Who called you, Jon?"  He sat down.

"Doctor Lam."  He stared at him.  "I assumed she had the right to do that."

"I think in cases of catastrophic emergency she may," Clay said.  "Fort Bragg's goes from the base commander, down to the higher commanders and then the head doc before the team leaders."

"It may," the general admitted.

Xander stared at him.  "Sir, did your people know how to stake?" Xander asked.

"Very few."  He sighed.  "I'm not doubting it was a good thing.  You closed the gate?"

"I told them not to let in anyone but Clay's team to limit more victims and to keep any of them from making it off the base to find more victims in the city," Xander admitted.  "They followed it I guess?"

"That seems reasonable," he decided.  "What weapons did you use?"  They disarmed on the table, including his axe.  The general stared then at them.  "Guns?"

"We have a multiple purpose bullet and a sodium flare round we used," Clay said.

"All right," he decided.  He heard the 'off world activation' announcement.  "What now?" he sighed.

Xander paused.  "Is that John?"  The general gave him an odd look.  "It smells like salty air and John always smells the same these days when he comes in on leave."  The door opened and someone walked in.  "Hi, Evan."

"Xander, boys.  Losers."  He nodded at them, earning a smile from them.  "Sir, we need something larger than usual sent up immediately," he said quietly.  He looked at Xander.  "Do you have anything hidden?"

"Of course I do.  How big are we talking?"

"Nuclear?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

Xander considered it.  "I don't think that bomb I have disarmed is.  I picked up recently from an idiot here in town who didn't need it."  He shrugged.  "We can look."

Clay stared at him.  "Anything he wants, he gets, Xander," he ordered.

Xander blew a kiss.  "Not my daddy in any manner of the word, Clay.  And Evan's nearly pack so he gets the help I can give."  He looked at him.  "We can check."


"Why?" the general demanded.

"Sir...."  He leaned closer to say something in his ear, getting a shudder.  "We need them."

Xander looked at Sam, who shrugged.  "I don't know where you hid them, Xander."

"Fine."  He got up.  "Come with me, Major; we can dig through the closet and come back.  General?"

"Agreed.  Go ahead, boys."  They left together.  The general went to take some antacids.  This was insane.  First vampires and now wraith trying something.  What next, higher powers showing up to tell them to wear tutus on their next missions?

Cordelia showed up.  "Hey, if it'll make friends, go for it."  She smiled.  "I'm the Messenger for the Powers That Be.  Am I high enough?"

He took another one.  "Yup, thank you, miss."

She blew a kiss.  "If I have something I need you to know I'll come to you instead of going to Doctor Kusangi again or Xander."  She disappeared again.

He sat down with a whimper and called the president and Jack.  Before he banged his head on the desk until it burst open.  When Evan Lorne came back he had a small box of things and they got the ship ready to bring him back immediately.  They stuffed as many weapons as they could as well.  Atlantis clearly needed them.


Evan appeared.  "Sir, we got back as fast as we could.  We're loaded for war, and I'm to tell you that they want you to make up a plan to train the soldiers at the SGC on how to deal with the next vampire invasion."

John stared at him for a minute.  "It's good you raided Xander's things.  Vampires?"

"Yes, sir, apparently the day I went back there was a mass invasion of the mountain by vampires.  Doctor Lam is in trouble for calling Jon O'Neill."

"Which brought Xander and Sam," John said dryly.

"And Colonel Clay's team."  He smiled.  "They were in town."

"The general must have a concussion from banging his head on the walls."  He took the bomb to look over.  "McKay, your bomb is here."

"Oh, no, sir, that's just the least stable of them.  Xander managed to take some from sixteen other sources and got some from Helena.  She had dropped them off and had them shrunk.  We went through all the weapons."  He smiled.  "Xander now has a sensible apocalypse closet.  Colorado Springs now has no more vampire menace.  They've finished fixing whatever about the gate was summoning them to the mountain.  And Xander sends a cheek lap and a cuddle."

John smiled.  "Xander's insane but I adore that about him."  McKay huffed in.  "This is the least stable of the ones you have.  There's a bunch more on the ship."

"Bring them to the lab.  I can chain them together if I have to."  He looked that one over.  "That's incredibly poorly made.  Which idiot built it?"

"Xander confiscated it."

"Ah!  So it was made by unprofessional idiots."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Thank Xander for us."

"I did," Evan called after him.  He held up his rope, making John give him an odd look as he took it from him.  "I tested Sam since we never got a chance to," he said quietly.  John smiled and put it back around his throat for him.  "It turns out that Xander has done more work with spirit animals and floating out than Sam probably ever will.  Sam said he could sense another form just beyond him but he couldn't tell what it was and how to get there.  He's going to ask the shaman helping their training.   Xander, interestingly enough, can join any animal he can latch onto.  He had to step in late last school year to save the biology lab rats who were all sick from malnutrition."

"So I'm guessing that goes with Xander being able to suck in spirits and Sam being more normal," John said.  Evan nodded with a smile.  "Good testing.  Thank you.  We forgot the last time."  They walked off together to get the weapons off the ship.  "McKay said any bombs go to the labs."  They got hauled that way by some of the Marines.  The rest kept loading the weapons into the armory.  John and Evan stepped in to help with that bucket line move.  They'd need them very shortly.  And really they needed a ZPM.  Or six.  Six might be nice.

Cordelia looked at him, head tipped to the side.  John stared back.  "Then make some, idiot."

"We can't figure out how."

"That blonde, possessed lady knew.  She figured it out when they had some alternate thems."  She smirked.  "Didn't they tell you?"


"Huh, probably should have."

"Can I have a hint?" Radek asked.  "So we can try?"

"Something about a gateway portal, zapping it somehow, making a void...."  She shrugged.  "Way too technical for my brain, boys.  But you're adorable and if you don't watch out the tentacle will ruin you for lesser boys."  She faded out.

John looked back and ducked, getting them all out of the way as they fired on it.  Radek opened something and blasted it out of the water.  "Huh," he said.  "Hey, any biologists?" John called.  A few came running at Radek's summons and took the creature to dissect.  Radek also told Rodney what she had said.  Rodney was already ranting and preparing a nasty email back to the base about that subject.  Someone should have told them!


Back on the base, Landry looked up at the 'Atlantis Mail' note that went out.  "Many of them this time?  Or an update, Walter?" he called, walking out there.

"No, sir, but a very bad one for Colonel Carter.  Apparently we've been keeping important ZPM information from them?"

"We have?"

"He seems to think she knows how to make new ones and never shared that.  Colonel Carter?" he called over the intercom.  "Please come to the gate control area."  She came jogging up the stairs with a smile.  "Doctor McKay is going to have your PhD's revoked, ma'am," he said, letting her see the email.

"I sent that," she complained.

"Apparently not and they're about to go into battle again, ma'am."

She growled.  "I hate McKay's uppity nature."

Landry watched her eyes light up then go out.  They stunned her and sent her to the infirmary again for whatever to finish being removed.  Then the rest of the science department prepared a report and got a few ZPM to charge quickly.   They had the sub-station they could pass it through.


Xander woke up from a nasty dream, taking notes on it.  Which he emailed to Rodney and John.  They needed to know.  He laid down again, hoping not to go back into that dream with the mother of all domestic disputes because he threw his husband out of the house.  Jensen blinked at him.  "I'm fine."

"Vision or nightmare?" he asked, shifting closer to cuddle him.

"I think a partial vision of warning."  He sighed and snuggled in better.  "After some huge thing I retired.  Somehow had a daughter.  I married a guy in New York who had went legit."

"Family?" he asked with a grimace.  Xander nodded.  "What happened?"

"Apparently I pissed off the pack so much that when John took it over he forbid anyone to speak to or about me.  When my daughter was about eight, I found out my husband had offered her in marriage to one of his people.  This was after we had a small problem thanks to his other moves behind the scenes.  Well...  We had the mother of all fights.  I kicked him out of our house after threatening him with artillery and telling his cronies that if I saw them near my girls, because he had a daughter too, then I'd be killing them all.

"I gave her the option of staying or going, pointing out she could come back.  She found out he had offered her too because she was just a girl."  He snorted.  "I told one of his buddies to come pack his shit before I did it and set it on fire.  The attack had brought officers so we were fighting in front of them.  They just stood there and took it all in.   Even when I pulled out the shrunken piece of artillery to threaten him for coming near my daughter.  He left.  He didn't come back and the cops started to ask uncomfy questions that got back to Don, who told John, and John snapped that I was on my own because I had left to retire and get married."

Jensen cuddled him.  "John is not that big of a judgmental ass."

"He was scarred.  I think we had fought over me retiring from hunting and getting married."

"Neither John, there or here, would ever refuse you the right to be happy.  Even if he didn't like your spouse choice.  He might take the pack alpha spot from you but he'd never kick you out.  He might kill your boyfriend.  The same as Cougar and I might."

Xander gave him a squeeze.  "Thanks, Jensen."

"It's not a problem.  We've already made plans in case you get smitten by some evil thing.  We've drawn straws about who gets to shoot them and made plans of how to get you free of their compound of evil."  Xander snickered, hugging him.  "Cougar's going to cover us so we can break in and do fantastic things to get you free.  And of course any evil spawn they have so you don't have to adopt some year."

He petted him gently, lulling Xander back to sleep.  Jensen considered that semi-prophetic nightmare.  Maybe he'd talk to Faith about that guy.  That way it wasn't an issue.  Her 'big brothers' hated mafia sorts.  She was just as good as they were....  So maybe it was self solving this time.  In the morning he'd warn Cougar so they could make some plans.  They seriously needed to finish the Xander dating disaster plan.  They might need it soon.


to part 11

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