Many thanks to Tazzy and Myiaka for the beta-reading since I've never written, only watched, in this fandom. 

Your Land, Our Land, and Goddess, Is That Our Land Too?

On a twinkling gray plane, a burst of light appeared, fading into four figures.  One smaller one with a gold headband.  One with longish red hair and some baggy pants.  One wearing a monocle and fairly well pressed clothes, and one who was dressed like a priest.  They all stared around the plane.

"Okay, so this is our big reward?" the redhead asked.  "I'm not impressed."

"Does anything impress you anymore?" the one with the gold headband asked.

"Shut up," the priest ordered.  "Any idea where we are, Hakkai?"

"Looks like it's a meeting plane.  Not totally in the real world and not totally here."  He looked around again, pointing at something.  "I see beer cases.  I see cigarettes."

"Gee, and no pretty women?" the redhead asked.

"Shut up, Goyjo," the smaller one said.  "Not everything is about women.  I don't know why any of them would want a cockroach like you anyway."

"That's because none of them like you," he shot back.

"Boys," Hakkai said with a smile.  "Stop it.  Let's figure out what we're doing before you two start again."

The priest looked at him.  "We can banish them away from here, right?"

"I have no idea why we're here."

Sanzo walked over to the beer and cigarette stashes, looking them over before getting one of each for himself.  "This is not the reward I wanted for winning against the bitch."  He opened a beer and sat on the semi comfortable recliner that appeared.  He was scowling.  No one had warned him that they were going to be going somewhere different after the battle, just that they'd get a reward and a time to rest.  Even if he did want a rest, this wasn't the rest he wanted.

"Hey, maybe I can think up some women," Goyjo said.  "Before I get desperate and Goku starts to look good in a dress."

"I'd never wear a dress," he snorted.  "If you're thinking about me in one, that's your sick mind."

"Boys," the priest said again, more heatedly this time.  He took another drink to keep himself from hitting them.  "Yo, a little help here before I use the banishing gun on them!" he bellowed after he had swallowed.  A sign appeared.  Yeah, that seemed like the goddess of bitches he was used to.

They all read it.  Then Hakkai snickered.  "Okay, so we're on the plane of mystical weapons.  That's good to know.  Do we need another one?" he asked the sign.  "Or are were here to be guiding lights this time?"

"If so they've got to be *really* screwed up," Goyjo noted.  He thought up his own recliner.  He tried for a woman too but only a blow up doll appeared.  "Well, it's better than dressing up a rock I suppose."  He put it down beside him and got his own beer out of the first case.  "Hey, even cold.  Someone has some sense and class."  He took a long drink.  He didn't care if Sanzo was cooling down his irritation with the beers or not.  This wasn't what he wanted either but he couldn't leave so he had to make the best of it for now.

Hakkai looked at the sign.  "How long are we here for and are things going right after the battle?"  It changed to tell him it wouldn't take long and they needed the rest to regroup for the rest of the problems going on.  "Thank you.  You did remember what Goku's appetites are like?"  Food appeared, making Goku's eyes go wide and him start to drool before he ran over to dig in.  Goyjo followed to get his own before Goku drooled on it. Sanzo got himself something after he had watched to make sure they weren't affected by it.  Hakkai got himself something smaller and they all sat down to relax for now.  Apparently their quest wasn't quite done yet.

"This is going to suck if we're here for a long time," Goku said finally.  "There's nothing to do."

"That's why it's called a rest break," Hakkai said.  "Sanzo, have you ever heard of this area before?"

"Nothing in anything I've read said anything about a mystical weapons plane.  I'm guessing it's where they're stored until they're needed.  So maybe we're going to be helping a new warrior who needs to know how to fight or something."  He finished his beer and his cigarette.  "I agree though.  I'm bored with this flat color around here."

"Well, maybe we can think up a pond to swim in," Hakkai offered.  "That way we can bathe too."  A door appeared marked 'bathroom'. It was free standing and not supported by anything.  All four of them smirked at it.  "Any entertainments?  Or should we let Goku and Goyjo be bored?"  A few books appeared too.  "Well, at least it's something."

Goku shook his head.  "I'm not that bad."  He got free of the straps on his recliner that were keeping him from pouncing Goyjo for fun.  They seemed to keep wrapping around him whenever he wanted to get up and move.

"Yes you are," the other three said.

"Fine.  Whatever."  He went to the bathroom.  "Guys, this thing is *huge*!  The tub is the size of a pond and it's marble!"

They came in to look, taking their time in the nicest toilet they had seen.  It was solid gold, had a lot of magazines in there, and the toilet paper was very soft.  The tub was big enough for them and sixty of their best friends to soak in.  The showers next to them had wonderful streams of warm water from them.  Well, if they were stuck here for a bit, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be.  Maybe.  If the two didn't drive them all nuts.


Goku looked up when a flash went off in the distance.  "Hey, visitors.  Finally!" he said, getting up to wave his arms.  "Over here!  We're over here!"  Sanzo smacked him on the head with his fan.  "Hey!  Maybe they're the ones we're waiting on.  Then we can get free of this freaky place and go back to kicking ass."

"Still, it could be a danger," Hakkai said.  "Or someone else who came up to help another warrior."  He looked back as the two guys walked their way.  They were about their age, maybe late twenties, early thirties at the most.  They both looked very tired.  They looked like they had just stepped out of one war and were stepping into the next one without a rest actually.  "Sit and pull up a beer, guys.  Want a smoke?"

"No thanks.  Not our thing," the shorter one said.  He flopped down into the recliner that appeared, moaning when the massage function came on.  "Hey, better than a magic fingers system anytime," he said happily.

"Wish mine had one," Goyjo admitted.  He handed them both a beer.  "So, why did you guys come to the plane of mystical weapon storage?"

"Mystical weapons...."  The taller one beamed.  "I think I know why we were sent."  He looked at Dean.  "The colt should probably be up here?"

"Could be but we have it in the car, Sammy."

"No, Dean, there's others that can do the same thing only with less danger," Sanzo said, holding his head.  "I don't like those.  That had better be the only one I ever get," he called, looking up.  "Before I we come up there!"  The sign appeared on top of his can of beer saying he didn't need to have another.

"We'll pout at the Merciful Goddess for you," Hakkai said with a smile.  "Does this colt kill demons?"  They both nodded once.  The one in the recliner took a drink.

"The problem is that their gun is basically part of the problem, not the solution," Sanzo said.  He looked at Sam.  "The key will kill and fit in the lock."

"Oh, damn it," Dean complained.  "So we can't use it to kill the Yellow Eyed Demon?"

"There's others that can," Goku said, starting to bounce.  "Sanzo, you found the spare banishing gun, right?  When we went to look beyond those rocks the other day?  And we found that trunk of junk plus the few other weapons?  I don't think they need a sword but would a banishing gun work?"

"I did."  He tossed it to the one standing.  "It banishes demons at the molecular level."

"That could come in handy," Dean decided, taking it to look over. "Bullets?"

"You can use regular bullets but you have to know and believe that it'll work," Sanzo said.  "I carry one.  It's come in very handy recently helping take down a demon army."

"You guys aren't in our time, right?" Sam asked, looking miserable.

"No," Hakkai said.

"Beyond that, we were in India," Goyjo said.  "Defeating the evil  horde of busty assassins and their bad outfits."

Sanzo looked at him.  "Some weren't so bad.  Just stupid and incapable of doing anything right.  But pretty enough for a guy like you."

"Bad priest," Hakkai teased with a smirk.  "Shouldn't you not have those thoughts?"

"Shut up, Hakkai."

Sam and Dean looked at each other.  "They're like us, only there's more of them."

"Goku eats like you too," Sanzo said dryly.  He saw another flash.  "We've all got special weapons that can banish demons at the same level.  Goyjo has a shakujo, Hakkai uses his Chi.  Goku has his Nyoi-Bo, that's a staff that can lengthen itself, banish demons, and hold a shield in some cases."

"It's like some bad sexual metaphor," Goyjo added with a smirk.

Sanzo stood up when he saw the young man stumbling toward them.  "Fuck, that's not supposed to happen."

Hakkai stood up, going over to him.  "Hey, why did you get sent here?"  The guy passed out at his feet.  "This isn't why we're here, guys, this is an emergency I think.  He smells like he's been magiced heavily.  Goyjo, help me get him into the pool.  Guys, give us a few please?"  He noticed Sanzo was staring and looked at the boy then at him.  "You know him?"

"I feel like I should."  He came over to help.  They got the boy into the water, letting him float for now.  Water was always a good insulator against black magic.  "What happened to him?"  Goyjo got him stripped with a knife.  They found the glowing bruises.  "Shit."

"Seriously," Hakkai agreed.  "That's not right."

Sam walked in and looked.  "Some witch apparently cast at him to kill him and he's still living," he said.  He looked at the priest.  "The lady with black hair, way too much jewelry, and tits Dean wants to nurse on said yes he should be familiar, you screwed up once on your lack of worldly pleasures list.  And that the witch who hit him was acting out of grief.  She tried to stop him from stopping her from ending the world.  She said he's why you're here, instead of them."

"Aw, shit," he muttered, going out there.  "Can I know more than the barest of facts?  That didn't really explain anything."

"No."  She smirked.  "But he should be very familiar to you."  She looked at Dean.  "The banishing gun will help you but there's others that may help just as much, and no, they're real."

"They'd have to be with the way they're standing up without support," he said dryly. "Which makes you a real goddess in my book."

"She's the Merciful Goddess and she can screw up your life," Hakkai warned.  He looked at her.  "Can we remove the taint from him?"

"Please do.  Then make him talk.  Before he snaps and becomes that which he hunts."  She gave him a pointed look.  "That would be your next battle if he should."

Dean raised a hand.  "The witch?  Is she on our roll of bad guys?"

She considered it.  "It would cause a conflict later.  Others are trying to handle her.  Not very well but her friends are trying to edge her back from her grief.  This one...  I'm not feeling so merciful where they're concerned about him."  She stared at Sanzo.  "Am I clear?"

"Never," he assured her dryly.

She smiled.  "Good.  Didn't want to give too much away ahead of time."  She wiggled her fingers.  "Have the bright one in there look him up on the bulletin boards.  Oh, and Dean, don't make the deal.  Dumbass."  She disappeared in a shower of sparkles.  "Fix this and you can go home.  The battle's done."

"Thank you," Hakkai said.  "We'll make offerings or whatever later."  He looked at Sanzo, smirking.  "Was she pretty?"

"It was a long time ago," he admitted, heading back in there.  "Give us a few more, guys."

"If it's black magic, there's ways to drain it from him," Sam offered.

"We know.  We've just dealt with someone using youkai magic and science to revive demons," Hakkai said.

"Please don't let ours do that," Sam moaned.  He looked up.  "Whichever god or goddess you are.  Please?"

Dean walked in.  "He won't be.  He's never went for brains outside of you, Sammy."  He looked at the guy.  "I've seen his picture.  She said to look him up." 

Sam went out to the main room, finding a laptop with an ethereal ethernet connection waiting on him in Dean's recliner.  He found the bulletin boards and went searching.  "Finding the rogue witch might be easier," he decided.  That one, there was a lot about.  "Oh, shit," he said.

Dean came jogging out.  "That bad?"  He let him see it.  "Powerful witch, grieving over her soulmate, tries to destroy the world after sucking up black magic," he summarized as he read.  "And he tried to stop her so she hit him with magic.  Crap.  What's he listed as right now?"

"In the hospital and no one apparently realizes because no one's been noted as coming to see him."  They shared a look.  "Maybe a little later roughness would help?"

"Don't you boys worry about it," Goyjo said dryly.  "If we can get out of here, Sanzo's going to have a fit on their asses.  He is not the priest to mess with."  He smiled and showed them the other mystical weapons that had appeared.  "Know how to use any of these?"

"Many," Sam admitted.

Dean gave him an odd look.  "Since when can you use a sword?" he demanded.

"A class in college with a bunch of renfaire kids.  I sparred with them on and off for nearly a year."

"Geek," he muttered.  Goyjo nodded that he agreed.  "So, why did you get this gig?"

"Apparently it's our reward for saving the world.  There's no pretty girls so I don't know what sort of reward it is," he admitted sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'd consider that a punishment too," Dean agreed.

"There's more to life than girls," Sam reminded him.

"Besides we'd hate to watch you have sex.  You've probably got disgusting habits there too," Goku said.  "Sam, can you maybe find a way to bleed taint into the water?  Before it finishes killing him?"  Sam looked, letting him have the laptop.  "Hey, Sanzo, use the scroll on him.  Maybe it'll help."  He walked the laptop in there.

Dean and Sam both went to watch the chanting, finding the scroll that Sanzo had been wearing around his neck and shoulders now moving on its own.  "That's freaky," Dean decided.

"That's an elemental sutra," Sam realized.  "A foundation of life."  Hakkai nodded and smiled.  "Wow.  So he's a Sanzo, not just named that?"  Goku smirked and nodded.  "You know, I think I saw this anime.  Which would make that the Maten Sutra?"  Goku nodded, looking happier that they had heard of it.

"What's an anime?" Dean asked.

"Japanese animated movie that tells a story.  You've probably seen some hentai, which is animated porn, Dean."

"Oh, that stuff.  That had tentacles and stuff."  He shuddered.  "I could not get into that, no matter how pretty they drew her.  You watch that stuff?"

"My first roommate did at Stanford.  So, you guys won in India against Kougaiji?"

"Yup," Goku said with a smirk.

"Thank you."  He smirked at his brother.  "Entombed and trapped demon king with an army.  Black magic and science together to bring him back.  Please don't give our bad guys any ideas?" he asked Hakkai.

"This witch probably already has them," Hakkai admitted.  "But she said it'd be harder in the future if you handled it for us."

"She's getting my foot up her ass," Sanzo complained.  The scroll wrapped around the boy, glowing slightly as it sucked the bad magic out of him.  He straightened up as the boy disappeared.  "That's it, let's go.  Guys, did you need more than a banishing gun?  Any more advice we can give?"

"Did you guys have to ride horses?" Dean asked.

"No, I have a dragon friend that can change into a jeep," Hakkai said with a grin.

"So, good tunes, nice ride, weapons, demon killing, we're on the right track then."

"No radio in Hakkuryuu," Goku admitted.  "Wish there was sometimes.  Instead he hums when he's bored and he can't carry a tune.  Other than that, he chirps.  It's *real* annoying at sunrise when he tries to wake you up."

Sam patted his pocket, handing him something.  "Copy of a Metallica tape Dean likes a lot in payment for the gun?"

Goku snatched it with a grin.  "Thanks, guys.  Have a good battle.  Don't do what we'd do and screw it up."

"Oh, this thing's going down," Dean assured him.  "One way or another."

"Don't end up living up here," Hakkai warned.

"No, not in my plans."  He and Sam faded out.  They woke up in their car with a state cop tapping on their window.  He rolled down the window.  "Sorry, had to nap," he said with a yawn.  "Long drive, Officer."

"That's good of you, boys.  You worried a few people when you didn't wake up."

"We're heavy sleepers thanks to some nightmares," Sam said through his yawn.  "Sorry to have worried them."

"That's fine, boys.  You go wherever."  They nodded and Dean started the car, driving off in a blare of loud music.  The officer shook his head at the strangeness of today's youth.

Dean looked at Sam.  "Gun?"  Sam pulled it out from under his shirt, letting him see it. "Cool."

"We need a test case."

"We can do that."  They sped up, changing lanes to take an exit and head for Bobby's to show it to him.  A mystical weapon like that needed some research done before they used it. And boy would Bobby never believe how they had gotten it.  They'd be drinking holy water for weeks.  "That witch?"

"If they don't, we will," Sam promised.  "Even if she was acting out of grief, she should've known better."

"Good deal, dude."  He sped up and changed the song.  He liked the next one better.


Sanzo walked into the hospital, followed by the others.  "Alexander Harris," he said.

"Are you family?  It's not visiting hours, sir."

"I'm his spiritual advisor and uncle," he said dryly.  "These are some of his cousins."

"He's up on three east."  He nodded his thanks and went up there.

Sanzo came off the elevator and felt magic.  "Shit," he muttered, heading for where he could feel Xander's taint.  He walked in and found a young girl staring at him.  "Are you here to help or hurt him?" he asked in a deadly cold voice.  The others hung back in the doorway for a minute.  There wasn't any room to fight if they had to, and if she was a threat, Sanzo could take her easily enough.

She glared at him.  "Who the hell are you?"

"Apparently his great-great-great-great grandfather.  You?"

"Dawn.  Xander's like my big brother."  She stared at this new guy then looked down at him.  "I told my sister he was here.  She said I was stupid and wrong.  I even took a picture of his bracelet but she said he's at work right now.  Instead he's unconscious and they're not really sure what's wrong with him."

"I know exactly what's wrong with him.  That witch's magic when she tried to stop him is infecting him."

Dawn stared at him, rubbing her arm.  "Really?"  He nodded.  "Can I help fix it?  I have some powers."

"No.  I helped weed a bit out already.  I need you out of the way."

"Sure."  She moved to the other side of the bed then leaned out to look at the nurse.  The other three strange guys got out of the way and moved into the room.  "He's a family priest.  They're going to try to fix him that way," she told the nurse giving her an odd look.  "See, a young priest, an older priest," she offered with a grin.  The three guys all snorted at that.

"If he was just possessed we'd expect floating.  So we know it's more than needing a priest.  Aren't you young enough to need to be in school, young lady?  We don't want the hospital in trouble for letting you up here.  My supervisor wouldn't be happy with that."

"My sister says he didn't leave two days ago to come here.  I even took a picture of his bracelet and she said I was making it up."  She smirked.  "I'm going to kick her ass."

"Just don't send her here," she said dryly.  "She sound shallow."  She let the door be closed and the curtains close but she did keep an eye on his monitors.  It was looking a bit stronger so she wouldn't worry too much.

Sanzo looked at her.  "You could go."

"Fat chance, buddy.  I don't know you but I can damn sure try to destroy you if you hurt Xander."

He smirked.  "I like you.  You have spirit.  Want to become a Buddhist nun?"

"Hell no!  Some day I want the sex with a boy, or maybe a few boys if the first one isn't any good at it, and then maybe even to make my sister whine by making her an aunt.  Though I'd never let her babysit."

"Good idea," he agreed.  He took off the sutra he had hidden, putting it over the boy's chest.  He laid a hand on it, chanting quietly.  The scroll grew, twitched, wrapping itself around him.

"Whoa, that's handy magic," Dawn said.  "Can I learn that sort?"

"Become a nun," Goyjo offered with a smirk.  "When you finish growing up, you might be too cute to waste on that though."  She kicked him on the leg.  "Ow!"

"I'm already pretty.  You're blind and ignorant.  And probably gay anyway."  Hakkai giggled, turning to lean against a wall.

"I need some quiet," Sanzo snapped.

She came over to the other side of the bed and added some power by touching his hand.  "Will that help?"

He stared at her.  "What are you?" he asked calmly.

She smirked.  "Dawn Summers, now."

He took the energy.  He knew what felt that way, and nodded at that information.  "Okay. That can help.  Then we'll be talking to the witch and your sister."

"Sure, I can watch the slayer smackdown all you want," she assured him.

Goku grinned evilly.  "If she's a slayer and doing this, then she's ignoring her calling. I remember hearing about them at the temples a few years back.  Cool, a legal target for some fighting."

Hakkai patted him on the shoulder.  "We'll see what's going on first."  Goyjo gave him a dirty look.  "She could be blinded by the witch."

"Doubt it.  She sounds selfish and bitchy."

"Possibly true," Hakkai agreed.

"Shut up," Sanzo ordered.  He went back to work.  The scroll apparently liked the boy a lot.  "Maybe you'll be a priest instead," he decided.

"It might help since only bad and evil girls like him," Dawn told him with a grin.  "And former demons now."

Sanzo stared at her.  "Excuse me?"

"He's dating Anyanka, now Anya since she lost her powers."

"I can fix that," he assured her dryly.  "Not in my family.  A full demon, a half demon, not one that liked to torture for shits and giggles."

"You swear a lot for a priest," she told him.

He smirked.  "I'm a special version.  That's why I wear the red chakra dot."

"Cool."  She smacked him on it, making him look very surprised that she had managed to touch him.  Then she grinned.  "Needed a V-8.  His heart rate's dropping."  He went back to it, shaking his head.  She looked down then up.  "Yo, I know you're an evil bitch who likes to screw with lives, but if you screw with his, we're all gonna die the next time Buffy has to plan anything," she hissed.  She felt peace come over her and a female presence land beside her as it turned into a woman.

The Merciful Goddess looked at the girl.  "She's strong and mouthy.  I like this one.  Train her well, boys.  She needs the experience to keep herself safe."  She laid a hand on Xander's head.  "The most important one of all humans is one who knowingly gives his life to save a friend's soul."  She pulled some of the taint out.  "I can't pull more out."

Sanzo finished up and looked at him.  He'd ignore the irritating presence before he lost his temper at her for letting it get this far.  "He's less injured."  The boy moaned.  He looked up and the Goddess was gone.  He looked down as the brown eyes opened.

"Ohmygod, you're alive again," Dawn squealed, hugging him around the shoulders and neck.  "Thanks, strange priest man."

"Dawn, tired," Xander mumbled.  She pulled back and beamed at him.  He blinked at her then at the guy next to him.  "Do I know you?"

"We're relatives," he said dryly.

"No, I know you from somewhere else."

"Sam said something about an anime," Goyjo admitted, sitting in the visitor's chair.

"Hmm.  Saiyuki," he mumbled then blinked a few times.  He stared at Sanzo.  "We're related?  Am I an anime too?"

"Just lucky," he said, shooting him a dirty look.  "Do you know what happened?"

"I figured something Willow shot at me caused a broken something."

"Try black magic tainting so bad you were starting to shut down."  He stared down at him. "She hasn't shown up."

Xander nodded.  "Fuck 'em at the moment."  He let Dawn cuddle him again.  "I'll be okay. I survived all the other freaky Sunnydale stuff."  He looked at the guys again.  "Thank you."

"Welcome," Goku said happily.

"We'd rather not have Sanzo pout," Hakkai agreed happily.

"I'm just glad that there's finally chicks around," Goyjo admitted with a smirk.

Xander smirked back.  "This one's too young."  He looked at Dawn's head.  "You should be in school."

"Shut up."

"Fine."  He kissed her on the head.  "Go nag the brats for me?"

"Nope.  I even took a picture of your bracelet and they decided I made it up."

"Yay them."  He raised the head of the bed, looking at his relative.  "How am I related to an anime?"

"Every myth has a bit of truth in it," Hakkai noted.

"Hmm.  Okay.  That's cool enough I guess.  Anything else I should realize and will the banishing gun work on vampires?"

"Yes," the four guys said together.

"You can't banish Spike, Xander.  He drives my sister nuts for you."

"Whatever."  He looked at the guys again, swallowing.  "Are we having a redo of your battles?"

"Not that I know of," Hakkai said.  "Not that we've been told either."

"We were on the mystical weapon handout realm when you showed up," Goyjo said.

"I don't remember that."

"You passed out at the feet of a few hunters," Goku said with a grin.  "The Merciful Goddess said to let us handle it instead of them."

"She's supposed to be going to a coven to help her heal the grief."

"She still knew it was wrong, even if she was reacting to the grief," Sanzo told him.  He leaned down.  "She showed me too, Xander."  He flinched at that.  "So yeah, she's getting it.  Possibly up the ass, we're not really sure yet."

Dawn bounced some, clapping.  "Can we watch?  And can you kick Buffy's ass too to show her up?"

"Sure," Goyjo said with a grin.  "There hasn't been a girl yet I couldn't kick the ass of. Even a slayer."  He stood up.  "Think you need to stay?"

"Maybe overnight," he admitted.  "I feel really tired."

"That's normal.  Let the girl fuss," Sanzo said. 

"You'll see us tomorrow when you get home.  Miss Summers, can you handle that?" Hakkai asked.

"Of course I can.  The vo-tech bus doesn't leave for another hour.  I can fuss for a good forty minutes before catching it back to the school."  She beamed at Xander.

He patted her.  "Go home, catch up on your homework.  Wait for me."

"Yeah, right," she snorted.  He stared her down until she huffed but nodded.  She opened the door.  "He's awake, can he have chicken noodle soup?"

"Of course, Miss Summers."

"Killer, thanks."  She looked at Xander again.  "You will behave until I see you tomorrow?"  He nodded slowly.  She smirked.  "Good.  I want ringside seats."  She walked off, still rubbing her arm.

"Willow hurt her too," Xander admitted quietly.

"It happens when you go over the edge to the dark side," Hakkai admitted.  "I did it once."

Xander smiled at the nurse.  "Did I snore too much?"

"No, Mr. Harris.  You were very quiet and nice while you were sleeping.  We hope you'll stay that way."  She handed him the broth and left again.  Whatever that priest had done, it had worked very well.

Xander looked at him.  "Hellmouth."

"I saw."

"Many demons and vamps."

"I still have my gun.  They still have their weapons."

"Energy weapons won't work against vamps," he told Hakkai.

"Sure, I'll keep that in mind and bring a stake like Dean was muttering about."  Xander grinned.  "We'll see you tomorrow, young man."

"Please."  He looked at Sanzo.  "Are you freaked out?"

"Incredibly freaked out," he agreed with a smirk.

"Me too.  But hey, it's better that I'm related to you than my biological donor.  Thank you," he finished more quietly.

"Not a problem."  He walked out once he had the Maten Sutra over his shoulders.  The group followed him out.  Hakuryuu appeared and changed in the parking lot.  "That's nice to have too."

"Thank you, Hakuryuu.  We were worried we'd have to walk," Hakkai said, patting his hood.  They got in and headed off.  "The kid was right, we need music."  The dragon/jeep started to hum.  The others all groaned but he grinned.  "Driver picks the music as Dean said," he quipped.

Sanzo glared at him.  "Be less annoying than the girl was?"

"She seemed like she cared about him."

"Hmm.  She did," Sanzo agreed.  "A good thing from someone who he considered his little sister."  He pointed.  "To the east yet again."

"Sure, and hey, no demon king this time, right?"

"Damn I hope not," Goyjo said, relaxing again.  "I can handle some but man, I don't need another battle."

"Yeah, me either," Goku admitted.  "I'm kinda tired."  He yawned and fell asleep there.

The others ignored the snoring and farting their friend was doing.  Otherwise they'd have to kill him for that.


Sanzo walked Xander into the Magic Box, which was apparently an apothecary for the scary witch types.  He nodded at the older man behind the counter.

"Giles, look who I met.  My relative who healed my ass since I was nearly dead in the hospital from the magic you said wouldn't hurt me."  Xander put down his bracelet then walked off.  "I'm going to take Dawn for ice cream.  Before she becomes a cheerleader too."

"Excuse me?" Giles called.  "What did you say?"

"Just what he said," Sanzo said.  He stared at him, hands up his sleeves.  "I am Toua Genjo Sanzo Houshi."  The man stiffened, staring at him.  He stared back.  "Apparently Xander is my great -great-great-great grandson.  Do you think you could try not to kill him this year since it was seen that he was needed in the future?"

"I..." he started then his mouth shut as the other three came in.  "You're a myth," he complained.

"And apparently an anime," Goku said with a grin.  "The spoiled bitches who said he wasn't sick?  Dawn promised to let me have some of her ice cream."

"Willow's packing for her trip to the Devon Coven.  Buffy's with her I suppose."  He reached for the phone but the girls in question walked in.  "Please," he begged quietly, staring at Sanzo.

He just got an evil looking smirk back and turned to look at the young women.  "Hmm, shallow, uncaring, needing corrected for attitude problems."  They stopped to stare at him. "Clearly falling down on the job, Watcher.  The temple lists your calling and it never said anything about letting them turn into bitches like these two."

"Who're you?" Willow demanded.  "Get away from Giles."

"Shut up," Goyjo told her.  "Such a spoiled little bitch who didn't even care that she nearly killed her best friend too."  He walked off.  "I'm going to tail the kids.  Something tells me Xander's too pure for around here since you removed all her spells and the taint, Sanzo."

"Please do."  Hakkai and Goku got out of the way.  They knew that tone of voice.  They had heard it right before Sanzo had killed a lot of demons for screwing with them.  "For your information, Miss Summers, I am in your kind's books.  Mostly as a myth.  You see, we four fought off a demon king." She shuddered.  "You, however, are pissing off even the Merciful Goddess."

"Giving her PMS is not cool," Goku said.  "She takes it out on everyone else."

"Who?" she demanded.

Sanzo smirked and found the book had been pulled down by the watcher.  He let her see the entry, then stared at her as he held up the bracelet.  "Look familiar?"  She went paler than she had been.  "He had to drive himself there because his friends didn't seem to care that he was nearly dead when he crashed in the hospital parking lot."  She slowly shook her head.  "Your watcher told him it was nothing.  You didn't check on him, as a friend should have.  He lived for over a day with the pain of his intestines and organs eating themselves from the black magic she threw at him.  It took divine intervention to heal him this time. Do you think maybe you might quit tossing aside your greatest asset?" he asked coldly. "Before he turns into that which you hunt?"  She shuddered, backing away.

"As for you," Hakkai said, looking at the witch.  "You were playing with black magic long before you snapped.  Long before that handy magic addiction."

"I did not!" she shouted.

"Will.  Spell," Sanzo said simply, staring her down.  She shrank back at that.  "I got a rundown from a local priest who lives here.  He was very knowledgeable and helpful."

"A few of your supposed mistakes are classified the same way.  If you had actually researched, as a good witch would, you would have seen that variation in the black magic books.  That's another six of your supposed mistakes," Hakkai told her.  She shook her head.  "The Goddess gave you a helper, and you did the most vile thing you could by ripping her memories from her mind.  Not even the higher demons like to go there.  They'd talk you to their side."  He moved to look her over.  "I think she's failed her leash, Sanzo."

"I know she has."  He looked her over, then the slayer.  "You have already messed up enough.  Don't you think it's time you grew up?"  She opened her mouth so he attacked. And he kicked her ass.  He stared down at her.  "I could end you but the higher authorities said not to.  That there's more important ways for you to die coming up."  He looked at Willow.  "By the way, resurrections never go as planned.  You can never call the full soul back, Rosenburg.  Something always comes with the hole."

Sanzo pulled his pistol.  "This is a banishing gun.  It's meant to destroy demons.  It will not kill a human."  He shot Willow on the arm, making her scream and hold the injury.  "Have I made my point yet?"  She pulled up magic.  He backhanded her.  "Don't even think about it.  Real power means that you don't have to shove it in people's faces.  It means you don't have to hurt hose you supposedly care about for shits and giggles.  It definitely means that you have enough room to care for those who care about you.  Even demons can find love."  He walked over Buffy's crying body, looking at the watcher.  "You can do better."

"I've tried.  I'm still trying to help them.  We've lost so much recently."

Sanzo nodded.  "We all lose those that we love.  You nearly lost another one because you were all selfish asses.  Try to do better before I have to come back."  He walked off, Hakkai and Goku following.

"Goyjo said he wanted to see how good she was," Goku complained.  "You didn't leave him any ass to kick, Sanzo."

"I have a more important reason for being here."  He walked into the ice cream shop, ignoring the boys who had stared at him in awe.  "Where's the putrid hole of ick?"

"Under the school."  He grinned.  "Think it can be closed for good?"

"I think it needs glued shut," he admitted.  Dawn held up her ice cream.  "I don't need to share your mouth germs.  I doubt it's been anywhere I need to know about," he said dryly.

She smirked back.  "You badass, swearing priests are scared of girl germs?  I'll have to remember that.  Xander, are you up to the walk?"

"Sure, I can walk slowly."  He got up and led the way to the school.  He pointed.  "There, under the blue tiled floor at the moment."  He looked at his relative.  "We've been rebuilding it.  I'm the crew lead."

"Congratulations.  How do you do a full time job, hunt, and have a girlfriend?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't sleep much anymore.  My girlfriend likes money so I have to work."


"Can we talk to her too?" Goyjo asked.

"If you want to, we'd like to watch," Dawn snorted.  "That way he doesn't have to work overtime."

"She's not that bad anymore," Xander told her.

"Bet me."  She took another lick of her ice cream then gave the rest to the drooling Goku. "There you go."  She patted him on the head.  "It's nice someone's nearly my size."  She called someone.  "Hey, we're at the school with Xander.  No, he wasn't out screwing around on you, Anya.  He was in the hospital dying from the magic Willow shot at him.  By the way, one of Xan's relatives are in and wanted to meet you."  She hung up.  "She's making sure she can't get her powers back."

"Yeah, not for that," Xander said.  He walked them in there.  "This is about over our pit of evil."

Hakkai shuddered.  "I can feel it radiating.  It's open slightly."

"Willow keeps closing it," Xander told him.  "Dawn, out."

"Shut up.  It's safer to be with you guys than outside being vamp bait."  Anya stomped in. "We're in here."  The older woman walked in.  "Way too much perfume, Anya."

"I'm trying to mask my scent from the vampires," she complained.

Dawn coughed.  "You more smell like a whorehouse, I think.  From what I've read in some of Buffy's trashy novels."

"She can read?" Goyjo asked.  "Wow."

"Everyone has to be literate these days," Xander told her.  "Mandatory schooling."

"Oh.  Figures."  He looked Anya over, nudging Sanzo.  "She's pretty."

Sanzo looked over.  "I've seen some of your handiwork."  He smirked.  "Genjo Sanzo, Xander's great-great-great-great grandfather."  She fell to her knees whimpering.

"Hey!" Xander complained.  "It may not be ideal but we're dating and living together."

Sanzo shrugged.  "I've had my moments of questionable taste too."

"No, she's the best yet," Dawn told him.  "He has no idea what undeadly women are like." Xander swatted her.  "Hey, watch the hair!"  He gave her a dirty look and so did Anya. "They kicked Willow around for nearly killing him."

"The magic she shot at him shouldn't have hurt him," she complained, looking at Sanzo.

"Then he wasn't about halfway to crossing over thanks to organ failure?" he asked dryly. "And what did you think he was doing for the last few days?"

"I thought he was out screwing around so I could finally get my powers back."

"I'm not like that," Xander said patiently.  "I told you that.  You want them back that badly, go find a player, Anya."  She pouted.  "She's my choice at the moment."

Sanzo pulled his gun.  "Need it?"

"She's a former demon.  You said it won't hurt humans," Hakkai reminded him.

Sanzo stared her down.  "Pity if she plays with him.  I'm sure the two we helped could let me borrow something less mystical."  She shuddered but nodded.  "Good."  He smirked at the boy.  "If you two break up, try for something nicer?  Or if you two have kids, let me know so we can come bless them from the moment of birth?"

"How would I call?" Xander asked.

"You'll have your ways," Goyjo said with a wink and a smirk at Dawn.

She looked at her phone.  "I thought someone had changed my background to a picture of that Goddess chick."  She got into her phone book.  "Yup, Sanzo is right below Sandy." She let Xander see.  He grinned and relaxed.  "Thank you for healing my Xander friend." She suddenly pounced him to give him a hug.

"Get off," he complained, pushing at her.  "I don't like people!  Get off!"

"No!  You need a hug.  You did great and important things to save the world.  You deserve a hug for that and for saving Xander."  She squeezed no matter how much he struggled or pushed.  She was a force of nature after all, all teenage girls were.

Goyjo pulled her off.  "He's too old for you, sweetheart.  You need a guy your own age."

She patted him on the cheek.  "You're way too old and our hairs would clash.  Plus you wear ugly, baggy pants.  Clearly you're trying to hide something tiny."  He burst out laughing, shaking his head.  She hugged Xander.  "I'm glad you're better."

"Me too.  Thanks, Gramps."  Sanzo groaned.  "What?  The other way is too long."

"Fine, kid."  He let Hakkai work on sealing the stupid portal then looked at Anya before looking at Xander again.  "We will call if we have another battle like we've just gotten done with?"

"If I can."  That got a nod.  "Make the general thanks for me to whoever helped you?"

"I already have when I swore at them.  The Merciful Goddess thinks you're important.  Remember that even if the girls don't."

Xander beamed.  "That's good to know."  Sanzo and the others disappeared.  Including the jeep/dragon.  He looked at Anya.  "So, that was my great-great-great-great grandfather."

"They were going to kick Buffy and Willow's butts," Dawn told her.

"Yeah, they probably did," Xander agreed.  They walked out together, letting him relock the gate to the construction site.  He waved at the guard.  "I'll be back tomorrow."  That got a nod and a note being made.  He walked them back to the shop, finding Willow still crying in a corner.  Buffy was sitting numbly staring at her glass of milk.  He picked up his bracelet.  "I've got to report to work tomorrow.  Can I switch off for patrol this weekend?" he asked Giles.

"Are you going to be well enough?"

"Probably.  I'm tired now, but not in pain."

"Then we'd welcome the help."

"You know, he didn't teach me any mystical secrets," he said dryly.  "But he did say we could call if we have a battle like they've had."  Giles relaxed and nodded.  "We're going to bake a pizza.  Buffy, I'll let Dawn sleep on our couch."

"Thanks," she said automatically. 

They left together, going to Xander and Anya's place.  Where they found a nice present. Someone had left them anime.  A complete set.  "Aww.  The geeks love me," he said happily.  He settled in to watch them while Anya tossed a pizza into the oven and Dawn curled up next to him.  It was a good way to come home.  And hey, his ancestors kicked ass so maybe some day he could.  Right?  Especially if that goddess chick said so?

The End.