Blood and Guns.
Steve got a sudden call-out downtown. Any call that started off
with 'oh my God!' from an arms dealer was a very bad thing. He
hissed as he grabbed things, running out the door with the others behind
him. Regular PD was responding as well. There was a huge
demon coming out of the water. They got there in time to see
Xander fire something missile-like at it and it scream, then saw him
drop the tube and lunge over to take it on with an axe. Steve ran
for Xander's car, knowing he had backup weapons. "Can't we use
guns?" he demanded as he jumped in to help.
"No, I could shatter her invincibility shield but we can't kill her with
it. She's slightly spongy and it'd bounce instead of
puncture." He took another swing and then growled and took the
other axe off his back. "The head's too damn small," he
complained. He moved it forward. "Take the other side," he
ordered. Steve and the other few officers who were trying to help
did that. Xander finally managed to pierce her skin and it tried
to heal but he kept going. She was shrieking and trying to bat
him. He ducked them and swung in-between the bats. The demon
tried to get back into the water.
"No, don't let her," Xander ordered. "She'll heal and
reform." They drove her away from the water and toward some
rocks. She was shrieking and trying to kill them all by pounding
in their heads. Xander did get a few claw marks. Steve and
the other officers had their own claw injuries. Xander finally
managed a deep enough cut and threw something into it. The
tinkling glass was a pretty sound as it fell from the wound. She
screamed in agony and flailed then fell over. Xander moved and
beheaded her. He kicked the head out of the way. "No water,"
he told the staring officers.
"Burning her?" Steve asked.
"If you want but not totally necessary. You could bury her if you want."
"Burning's probably safer," Steve decided, calling that in. He looked at Xander. "You good?"
"I'm fine. I've had worse than this on a date," he quipped,
walking back to pick up his smaller axe. "Let me go hide before
there's press people," he complained as he walked past his cousin and
"Ah!" Danny said, chasing after him. "You're injured, you're letting the paramedics look at you."
"I'm fine!" he complained, glaring at him. "I'm not a baby. I've had worse than this."
"You can get stitches so they heal faster," he ordered with a
point. "That way you're not on the disabled list for
longer." He walked him back there. Kono and Chin took the
weapons from him, making Xander scowl. "Do not, Xander.
You're getting treated or I'm handcuffing you for the nice
paramedics. I swear I will." He sat him on the step of one
of the waiting ambulances and hauled his shirt off him. "That's
not as bad as some," he decided, glaring at his cousin.
"I told you I was fine."
"Bullshit," one of the paramedics said. "It's bad enough we get
this from his partner." He bandaged the few injuries. "That
one could probably use stitched."
Xander looked then at him. "I can do that at home." The
paramedic gave him a strange look. Xander shrugged. "Not my
first set, dude."
"Sure," he decided. "I watch that show with the hunters and they
do their own too so that makes sense." He finished the bandaging
job. "There. Sign." Xander signed the paper and they
let him flee his cousin's nagging. Danny had stepped over to nag
Steve. The paramedic got the next officer in line and it was
better. "Do we need to do morgue duty?" he called to one of the
"City Services is coming to pick up the pieces and burn them," he said.
"Okay, sounds good to me," he decided, making the officer relax. He smiled. "You didn't look too bad out there."
"I took sword lessons when I was in SCA," he admitted. "I never
thought it'd have a practical use in the real world." The
paramedic grinned. "Who was that?"
"Our retired council guy," Danny said.
"Good!" the officer's partner complained. "Thank God we get retirees!"
Steve looked over. "They're setting up a safe haven for the very
young slayers and those who're too injured," he said quietly. That
got a loud prayer said. "We're pretty low threat. Oregon
has a lot worse to deal with. Virginia is worse than that."
The officer walked off praying. The governor was stomping
over. "We're all good."
"Good!" She looked at the mess then at him. "How did he hear?"
"Someone probably called him," Steve said. "I asked about using guns."
"The cameras caught it very well," she assured him. "Are you both all right?"
"Yes, ma'am," Steve said. "Just some pretty good scratches."
"Good." She looked at the staring detective. "Is your cousin all right?"
"He decided he could do his own stitches."
She smiled. "I've heard others are like that as well."
"Yeah, now I've got to deal with two of 'em."
She walked off happier to make a press statement. She called
Xander on the walk to see what it was and where it had come from.
She smiled at the members of the press, hanging up and putting her phone
back into her pocket. "I asked the retired member of the Council I
know moved out here recently." They stopped talking and stared at
her. "He said that she was an isolated incident. That she
was coming out here to set up a small base camp so her first egg could
get married out here." A few let out some tense chuckles.
"Since she's gone, they'll probably be going to Vegas instead.
He's very sorry if some of you panicked but it is dead. She will
not bring others to avenge her death. We'll keep this beach closed
for a few days until we can groom the sand to make sure nothing of her
blood or sweat or whatever is left on it." More smiled at that
announcement. "It's nice that even the higher level, dangerous
demons want to come here to vacation and do things like their
weddings. If they're peaceful, we can set up an office to help
them if one of the larger communities locally would help us. I do
not care about peaceful, safe demons." She smiled back behind
her. "Our PD did a great job helping and I'm also going to be
setting up some training time for those who wish to take it so they can
help the next time something happens."
"Who was the guy with the artillery?" one asked.
"He was our retired Council person." She smiled. "He retired
when he adopted." They wrote that down. "He's presently
hiding from all of you." They nodded at that knowledge. "Do
not hound him please." They walked off to get more film of the
clean up and the officers who had helped. She went to talk to
their chief of police. She had no idea how to get the
officers that wanted it sword fighting lessons. She texted
Detective Williams to see how his cousin had learned. The 'he
jumped in' didn't make her happy but that was the Council's problem not
Steve's day off found him on the Navy base. He had went through
Xander's old reports and files to get information his people could
use. He had called a friend who was hiding in Cleveland to help
anything that might come up so he could look at the reports Xander had
sent to the Council. He later found out that Giles hadn't read
most of them because they had come in the email instead of the regular
mail and that Willow had been responsible for keeping track of that so
she had probably 'edited' them before handing them in. Xander's
email did keep sent emails though. That had been handy and Chin
had gotten them all out and printed for him.
Doyle had gotten into the emails with the Navy Intelligence
person. He had not been amused that someone hadn't realized
things. It explained a few current problems that people were
complaining about. So now it was Steve's fun to meet with his
former commander when he was in Intelligence. Then he'd go to
Cleveland to talk to his other person about what else they had found
from other slayer reports. Steve got let into the meeting room and
"At ease, McGarrett." He smiled. "It's not usual for you to
call me about civilian reports but I've looked up Harris' files and
realized he's not really a civilian."
"The US's file is wrong. It was edited by Rosenburg a few years
ago." He handed over those files as well. "One's the demon
community dossier and it's the most right but still missing a few
things. Of the others, Morocco's had him under truth serum."
He sat down while his former boss glanced through them.
His boss shuddered and closed them. "Is he sane?"
Steve smiled. "He's a lot like me only self-trained. I work
with his cousin so we let him translate whenever I run into his cousin
not getting the SEAL mindset."
"Wonderful," he said dryly. "What did you find?"
"He mentioned he had sent reports back from Africa, which apparently no
one looked at. Those few that did get looked at got edited by
"The witch at the Council?"
"Yes. Though she's permanently with the Devon Coven now by order
the president." He handed over that stack of papers. "Harris
filed weekly reports while he was traveling. Mr. Giles, the head
of the Council, doesn't like computers. He's a museum and a
"So the person that's protecting us all from the apocalypse battles we
don't want to know about hates computers?" he asked dryly.
"Some. Rosenburg was a hacker," he shot back with an evil smirk. "Not a great one though."
"Even better." He looked at the first few reports then over at his former person. "Why didn't we hear about this?"
"They didn't hear about it because he never checked his email. He
let Rosenburg. She might have told someone like Captain Finn but I
doubt he did anything with them since he's in Homeland. That's
the reports he filed from each area on the various problems, weird
things he noticed, like a renewed Aztec sacrificial cult, and the human
problems he was running into as well. Harris has a great draw for
arms dealers and the like. They'd like to own him."
"That's how the Council got higher weapons," he said. Steve smirked and nodded. "Does he have any?"
"He has presidential permission. I have borrowing rights."
"Good! Make sure he doesn't snap and go off on people. I'm told he's a new father."
"His five sons are having their first birthday party on Saturday in my backyard."
His former boss smirked. "Nice job wiggling in." He went
back to the reports. "I wondered where they came from," he
Steve looked and pulled out another one. "He was near their home
area handling something else. He didn't include any time that he
got captured and had to fight his way out or ruin them and take their
money to buy the other weapons or to support himself and his
slayers." His boss looked at him. "Giles paid him three
thousand for six months of backpay."
The commander shook his head. "How is he doing now? I know it's expensive to live here."
"They finally paid him back for all the weapons he bought."
The commander smiled. "Excellent news I'm sure. Is he buying more?"
"He's set himself up to ruin a lot of the lower level arms
dealers. He told them only the best should be working out
here." He grinned. His boss moaned and shook his head.
"We get a lot of arrests through that." His boss just nodded and
went back to reading. Steve watched him reread a few looking
confused and one made him take some tums. A few others got set
aside. "Some of those we've already handed files on. Especially
about the magically active terrorist groups."
"I saw those," he said dryly, not looking up. "I was not amused."
"There's some sort of ancient protection on the islands keeping most of
them out. He only has to watch out for the regular sort that want
His former boss stared at him. "I saw something about that. Is that why there's gaps?"
"He went back to Cleveland a few times and then left again when the
nagging got to him. A few might've been illnesses. I know at
one point in time he got a snakebite as well. He mentioned
helping a temple when he found them all ill. I saw that they gave
him a small version of their idol when he took it out to feed it some
fruit and told him to please make the Council quit picking on him
"The idol *ate* the fruit?" he asked.
Steve nodded. "It disturbed me but that's how I found out a few
people have zombie monkeys guarding them. Xander suggested to the
idol that they go bother the Council. Instead, someone sent the
Steve pulled out a picture and pushed it over. "The head of Homeland took one home."
He looked then whimpered. "Okay," he decided, putting that aside.
"Xander told me that they're native to the islands. He's going to
take his cousin's daughter to see them this summer." He smiled.
"Clearly you need a vacation somewhere more normal."
"Hawaii has very few demonic influences."
"Even better!" He went back to reading, taking a few more Tums. "Think you can recruit him?" he asked while he read.
"One eye is missing."
"He's retired, sir. He's got to raise the boys."
His former boss nodded. "That's an important job too." He
finally bundled them up. "I'm due to fly to Cleveland to talk to
the guy that took your place."
Steve smiled. "I called him about them. That way he can look at the ones the slayers sent in."
"Are they still sending reports?"
"They're all supposed to send in one each week if they're not in
Cleveland. If they're in an official house, the house sends in
"With what you know about them, would they take one of the intelligence people in?"
"They're wary of military people thanks to the Initiative mess, and then
Captain Finn showing up a few more times to screw things up. Like
disabling their weapons." The commander glared. "The stuff
Xander left with them so they could handle things."
"Wonderful," he said sarcastically. "Who do I talk to?"
"Ask to talk to Mr. Giles and Doyle at the same time. The higher
beings over the slayers sent Doyle back to life to help Giles.
Xander has heard that Giles is feeling a bit resentful but Doyle's been
handling a lot of stuff so he doesn't have to. Including the
financial things that're being sent over. Frankly, they can use
all the help they can get. They haven't replaced Xander's job
yet. They really need people to go check on the farther flung
"The senior girls can't?"
"I'm not sure if Faith could or not, but they're in the wilds of the
world, sir. I'm not sure if most of them could handle going into
"Good point. We have some people who're retiring this year," he
realized. Steve smirked. He shook his hand. "Go take a
vacation, McGarrett, before you finish going insane." He left,
going to the flight field so he could catch his flight to
Cleveland. He had plenty of reading on the way. He'd also be
talking to his fellow bosses to see what they could do to help make
sure the world kept going. Museum people being in charge of the
warriors keeping them all safe wasn't what they'd want to happen.
Steve went home to kick back for the day. On the way he got a text from
Doyle and sent back that he had been honest and they'd probably offer
people who could do Xander's former job. So apparently it was
going to be okay.
Xander walked past Steve and punched him on the arm. "From Faith for siccing the military guys on them."
Steve rubbed the sore spot. "No kids?"
"I'm trying to figure out what to do about Jensen bursting out crying because I wished him a happy birthday."
"Ah!" He nodded. "Remind him you're not like that there?"
"I think it's his sister." He grimaced, walking to the boys'
favorite store. He came out with a bag a bit later, heading back
home. He had no idea why Steve was busting the minor pot dealer
but whatever worked for him he guessed. He walked back into the
house and let the babysitter go. He picked up Jensen and walked
him off to the kitchen. Cougar tried to follow so he stared at
him. "I've got it, Cougar. We're just going to talk."
He put Cougar back in the living room and came back. Jensen was
sitting on the table looking confused. Xander sat in front of him,
pulling him closer. "Nod at the right one, Jake. Is it
because you're missing your sister and/or niece, or was it because if I
could I'd go to your realm and kick your parents around?" He asked
Jensen stared at him. Then he hugged him.
Xander smiled, giving him a cuddle. "You may not have started out
my son but you are now and that's all that matters to me. That
we're a family." He kissed him on the ear. Then he made him
sit up. "I'm sorry you're missing your sister." Jake
grinned. "I can't take her place but we're family now too.
If I had a way I'd send her a letter." Jake shook his head but he
was still grinning. He pulled that bag out of his pocket and put
it on the table. Jake looked, it was only folded over so he could
get it open. He ended up with his head inside the bag to bring out
the thing inside. Jake looked at the 'mommy and baby hugging'
bear then grinned at him and hugged him again. Xander pulled him
into his lap to cuddle. "I don't want you to be sad." He
kissed him on the temple. "Is that okay?"
Jake nodded, snuggling in to cuddle it. Cougar came back in and
Jake waved it. Cougar grinned. He babbled noise at
him. Cougar went back into the living room. "Cougar, if you
guys want something to remember your families, let me know," Xander
called after him. Cougar grunted. Pooch came in and
stared. Jensen waved the set of bears. Pooch pouted and
pointed. Xander grinned. "We'll pick yours out later,
Pooch. I remember you had a wife and a baby on the way." He
petted over his hair. "I didn't see one for that so we'll look
Pooch smiled and nodded, patting Jake's foot. He looked at
Jake. "Want to bring it with you?" He nodded.
"Okay." He put Jensen down, putting the bear on his back.
Jensen cackled as he crawled off carrying them. Xander got up to
fix himself some oatmeal then went out there when Jake wailed.
Xander stared at Roque, who had his bear. "Leave him alone about
missing his sister and niece." He handed the bear back, letting
Jensen cuddle it. "That's nearly evil, Roque, and if you're that
evil, I can let Dawn raise you." He slumped and shook his
"Thank you." He went back to rescue his oatmeal from the microwave
and came out. "If the others of you need something to
remember your families or someone important you left there, let me
know. I know Pooch does because he misses his wife and
baby." They all nodded. He settled in on the floor to eat
his oatmeal, with some helping fingers now and then. He petted
Roque on the head. He got glared at so offered him some
oatmeal. Roque crawled off. "Fine." He ate it and let
Jake steal some more. Xander grinned. "Later on is your
birthday party on Steve's beach."
Clay grinned. Cougar gave a devious look. Pooch
pouted. "We'll stop at the store on the way there. Jake can
bring his or keep them safely here so Gracie doesn't play with
them. Yours can stay in the car if you want." Pooch gave him
a shy grin. "I understand about missing people, guys. It's
not the same but I've had some really good friends die." He ate
another bite. "We'll handle it and do whatever we can to make it
easier." Pooch nodded, grunting at Jensen. Jensen smiled and
let him take the bear set. Pooch cuddled them.
Jake cuddled him no matter how much Pooch tried to get free.
Cougar pounced Jensen to get Pooch free. Clay swatted Cougar and
let Jensen cuddle Pooch again. Xander plucked up Jensen to cuddle
him. "It's good that you usually like cuddles. I'd go nuts
without any cuddles." Jake grinned at him. He grinned
back. Jake snuggled in and got comfortable stealing the
oatmeal. Roque was staring at a wall. Clay was watching him
and then finally crawled over to bat at him until Roque glared at
him. Clay stared at him until Roque grunted and went back to
pouting at the wall.
Xander looked over. "Roque, would you like something to remember
someone by?" Xander asked quietly. Roque glared at him.
Xander stared him down. "I don't know if you left someone behind
like family, Roque. The movie never went over that. So how
would I know? Let me know when you need or want things and we'll
figure something out."
Roque grunted and turned back around again. Jensen got free and
crawled over to pounce him into the wall and cuddle him. Roque
swatted at him. Clay crawled off giggling. Jensen was cooing
and petting Roque, babbling at him. Roque was glaring but before
Xander could rescue him, Jake lapped him and then grinned. He
crawled off to pounce Pooch again. Xander pulled Roque over to put
him in his lap while he finished his oatmeal.
Roque gave him a funny look. Xander shrugged back and scraped his
bowl with the spoon. Cougar stared at him so he offered him the
last bite, getting a grin. Cougar crawled off to stare at the
weapons. Clay went with him. Roque wiggled but Xander had
him. He looked up and scowled. Xander stared back.
Roque huffed but relaxed and let himself be held. Xander whispered
in his ear, getting a nod. Xander gave him a squeeze and let him
go. Roque went to watch out the windows.
Xander grinned, taking his bowl to clean and then figure out what else
he was bringing for the birthday party. Rachel had said to only
bring the cake but yay, he wasn't like that. Willow had tried to
teach him manners.
Xander carried the cake out to the backyard, sliding it onto the
table. Steve gave him an odd look. "Isn't it today?"
"Yes, but that's a tiny cake."
"Pooch hates cake. There's also three gallons of ice
cream." Steve smiled. "Let me get the kids out of the
car. Grace is watching them for me." He jogged out to get
the other stuff, letting Grace carry in the ice cream while he got the
kids into the house. They crawled after Grace since she had the
sweet stuff. Xander got Roque out last and looked at him.
"Just think, in ten years I can start getting you knives as
presents." Roque smirked at him. He put him down.
"Crawl that way, Roque." He did. Xander got the diaper bag
and locked up the car, heading inside. He saw Jensen's new bears
and put them into the bag. Grace looked. He smiled.
"He missed someone."
"I snuck and watched the movie." She hugged him then went to hug
the boys. "Happy birthday!" Roque whined and got free but
she cackled and hugged him again. "I should make you help me play
house, Roque. I need someone tough to be my boyfriend when I'm
older, like Uncle Steve." He gave her a strange look and shook his
head. She noticed her father staring too and beamed. "I'll
need a boyfriend some day."
"In another decade," Danno said. She cackled and ran out of the house. "Oh, damn," he complained, shaking his head.
Xander snickered. "She did it for the effect." He walked outside at Grace's complaining noise. "What?"
"You got a tiny cake!" she complained.
"Pooch and Clay don't like cake. That's why I got extra ice cream."
She huffed. "Mom, he got a tiny little cake."
"It's big enough," Rachel assured her.
"Can we invite the boys over to play house? Since the teacher thought I'd like that?"
Her mother looked at her. "I doubt the boys would like that."
"The new teacher thought that it might be good for them, make them sensitive guys who girls like later on."
Xander snickered. "Clay's getting all my women when he's older,
Monkey. Jake too if he wants them." Jake snickered, shaking
"You're sensitive," she reminded him.
"Yeah but I was raised by Willow." She frowned, staring at
him. "Ask your dad, he met her a few times." She ran to do
that. He looked at Rachel. "New teacher?"
"Her other one fell and broke her knee joint or something. She's in traction at home for the next month."
"Ow but I understand." She smiled. "I take it the new one doesn't like the tough and silent type?"
"I'm not so sure she's not out to make all the guys gay," Danno said as
he came out with Grace. "She tried to tell me I could do so much
more than be a detective."
Xander grinned. "Tell her you are the nicer, more gentle guy in the family compared to me?"
"Yup." They shared a smirk. "I think she possibly knows about demons. She looked really horrified about you."
Grace looked over. "She asked us very gently what he taught us."
"I'll talk to the principal to make sure there's no problems," Xander quipped, waving a hand.
"I did," Danny said with a smirk. "The teacher taped all but the
first one so she could use them in later classes." Xander beamed
at that compliment. "The principal told her you had done a
"Then let's hope it's not like that tourist that night," Xander
quipped. Everyone stared at him. "That night he came to talk
to me after that whole kidnaped thing, there was a tourist that told an
officer that I should probably not have five boys that don't all look
like me," he said dryly. Rachel burst out cackling. "She
ended up taking a swing at Danny twice and getting arrested after she
sneered that apparently I'm dating my cousin and my sons." Rachel
had to hurry inside to the bathroom.
"Some people are dumb," Stan said from his seat out of the way.
Steve nodded. "Especially taking a swing at an
officer." He shook his head. Xander smirked at
him. "The guys that got handed to the Council are doing
fine. They're fighting off the girls pinching them and still
managing to teach them self-defense and other things."
"The girls will drive them off in a few months," Xander said.
"Faith and Buffy said that the girls are getting in good practice for
dealing with regular people." Steve shook his head. "Yeah,
they probably will. Especially when that incubus comes back next
month." Steve groaned and sent a text message. Xander looked
at his phone when it rang. "Yup?" he answered. He
grimaced. "Yes, that is how I answer my phone because I'm retired,
ma'am. Who are you and how did you get my number?" He
listened. "Huh, but pity you're so stupid. No, they're my
sons. I adopted them." He snickered.
"Sure, next time I won't help save the world. I'm sure you'll make
a wonderful demonic concubine or food source." He listened,
waving Danny over to listen too. He'd need a witness to make the
complaint against her. "Excuse me, I spaced out. You wanted
to know what?" He laughed. "No, I don't. I never have
and never will. They're not dangerous enough for me.
Everyone knows that my taste in dates is actually arms dealers."
He smirked. "Thank you for accusing me though. I'm sure
you're going to have a lot of fun defending yourself with the law
suit. You have a great weekend." He hung up and looked at
"Rachel, her new teacher just accused him of liking the kids and of being so wrong because he helped save everyone."
She snorted and pulled out her phone to call someone, walking down the
beach. "Principal Yielders? Grace William's mother
Rachel. We have an issue. My daughter's substitute teacher
just called up my cousin-in-law Xander Harris and accused him of liking
children, including his own. Also of saying that he was wrong to
do his former job." She smiled as she strolled. "Exactly,
which is why I'm calling you. Xander is already looking up the
forms to put in a protest with the local school board and the teacher's
union. He's also thinking lawsuit. I thought you might want
to hear about this before the process servers get there Monday."
"It's good she's getting some evil minded time," Danny quipped.
"I'll find those addresses for you later." Xander grinned.
Xander called the bar he hung out at. "It's Xander. Can you
please tell everyone to leave the teacher that just accused me of
sleeping with my boys to me for destruction? Thanks,
Franklin." He hung up.
Steve looked over. "If someone kills her, at least we know you didn't ask."
Xander grinned. "They'll harass her but let me destroy her.
Unless one of the stalkers is out here." He scratched his shoulder
under his t-shirt. "Then there's no idea how that'll fall
out." Steve shuddered. "But I think they're all waiting in
"Do you have a list?" Steve asked.
"Um.... No. The last one I thought was only a
groupie." He looked in his contact list, finding another
one. "Two things," he said in greeting. "One, leave the
teacher that just accused me of molesting the kids to me.
Secondly, McGarrett would like a list of my stalkers. Do you know
if anyone has one?" He smiled. "Exactly. No, Grace's
sub. No, I want to destroy her. Thanks." He hung
up. "He'll see if Hai knows them all and email you a list."
He grinned. "I think one of his people had it on a hit list."
Danny walked off calling Chin and Kono, who were hanging out with the
family today. "Head's up. My daughter's teacher lost her
mind and tried to accuse Xander of being a molester. No, never met
him. Hated the hunter stuff too. Yeah, we're starting with
protests. Rachel's calling the principal. Yeah, in case
anyone hears and talks. Xander's asked that her destruction be
his. Thanks, man." He hung up. "He'll make sure that
no one says a thing, Xander." Xander grinned at him. "Calm
down for today. We'll destroy her tomorrow. Today is for
cake and presents." Xander handed over the car keys so he could
get them from the trunk.
Xander looked up as someone knocked on the door that night. He
went to open it, staring over the shoulder of the social worker standing
there. "The woman who made the accusation has never even met me
or seen me and the boys."
"She still made a complaint," the social worker huffed. She tried to push past him. "You have to let me in."
Xander stared at her. "Technically only if you have a warrant," he
said dryly. "And first I'm going to make a statement to
you." He stared her down. "I've seen a few of you in my
youth, and all of you were worthless bitches who did nothing." She
flinched. He smiled. "If you're not one of those then we
can be civil. I'll even pull out the adoption forms. If
you're one of the ones who makes up stories, because seen three of those
over some of the slayers I was training, or one of the ones that is out
to get all single fathers, because seen a few of those as well, then
kindly change off to one who isn't." He stared her down.
"Because I'll be damned if you hurt those boys. Since I *know*
your job, and have dealt with other social workers before over some of
the slayers, I'm not putting up with shit from someone who's never met
me or my sons. Am I clear?" She grimaced but nodded.
"Now, are you one of those?"
"I have too many cases to ever want to make myself more work, Mr. Harris."
"That's fine then." He let her and the officers inside.
"Adoption forms are on my desk. I pulled them earlier for the
lawyer. I've also pulled the paperwork from all the other times
I've had to work with one of you over one of the slayers." He
pointed. "It's in there."
She looked then at him. "Weapons?"
"Ma'am, I'm retired from the Watchers Council," he said dryly.
"The president said I can and will have weapons. I'm retired
but I'm still on to protect these pretty islands and my cousin's
"I heard that you're related to a detective."
He nodded. "I am. He heard her threatening me earlier because I let him listen when the bitch called."
"Must you swear?"
"Yes, I must." He smirked. "How would you describe someone
who made false allegations because she hated your job and what you've
done to save others' lives?"
"I'd probably use the same language but never in front of someone official."
Xander smirked. "Like I said, I've worked with a lot of you over some of the slayers."
She nodded, going in to get those forms. "Why did you adopt
them?" Xander pulled out the transcripts from that, he had gotten
them in case this sort of issue came up. She blinked as she read,
staring at him. "Excuse me?" He nodded. "Which?"
He held up the movie he had. She shivered. "I saw that with my
Xander grinned. "One of my neighbors is one of you. She said the same thing."
"That's good to know." She looked around. He pointed upstairs. "Is that an add-on?"
"Yes. When Giles bought us the house, it had three bedrooms and a
very tiny kitchen. Used most of my retirement fund to up the house
so it was up to my standards."
"It's a nice job," she admitted. She went up to look in the
rooms. She came down with the stuffed knife. Xander shrugged
and pointed at the movie. "At least you're not giving him a real
"Not until he's ten and then they start self defense lessons."
"What about the end problem?"
"I told them they're not allowed to fight until they're sixteen.
Until then they're brothers and will act like it or else I'm going to
kick their butts around about it. We've had a few talks about that
subject. They agree, they can wait until they can actually throw
"Are there any softer influences?"
"Now and then Dawn comes out to babysit for the big things. My
cousin's ex-wife and daughter. Grace tried to talk them into
playing house with her because that same teacher thought it would make
them more *sensitive*."
The officer snorted, shaking his head. "I don't think so."
"Me either. Didn't work for me. I was all but raised by Rosenburg."
"What is wrong with her?" the officer asked. "Most everyone is treating her like she's a leper."
"Her magic addiction is showing again. That's who pulled the boys. Then people blamed me for her pulling the boys."
The social worker sighed and shook her head. "That makes no sense
but I doubt many people in the hunting community are what we'd consider
"Quite a few are uptight Brits," Xander said with a grin.
"That figures." She looked around the rest of the house.
"You seem well set up." Xander nodded. "Are you gay?
That was another thing she noted."
"I'm technically bi. I've dated both. Mostly deadly of both
sorts." He smiled. "The arms dealers and assassin types
really like me. There's a Chinese syndicate who considers my sons
their heirs." The social worker gave him an odd look. "Their
boss wants to date me but he's in jail."
"Wonderful. Is that safe?"
"It means less people want to attack me for taking out an arms dealer or because I was Council."
"That is reasonable but a bit weird," she decided. She looked around again. "Do they get outside often?"
"About every day. At least a few times a week we walk to the nearest park too."
"That's good. The weapons?" He gave her a pointed look. "Can they get into them?"
"They can't walk yet and they remember their last lives."
"That's more reasonable then. How are you handling five of them?"
"We do have a daycare they can go hang at when I have to go threaten an
arms dealer trying to move in around here. A few locals I can call
up for babysitting. My cousin sometimes comes over to play with
them to make sure I'm still sane."
"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea." She stared at
him. "Have you ever sought help for whatever trauma sent you to
"I've purged that anger on the vampires quite often," he said
dryly. "If they want it when they're older then I'll take the name
that McGarrett has waiting on me."
"Fine. I don't see anything wrong. Do they have a
doctor?" He got the card out of his wallet. "Can we get
"If you must."
"What are you going to do to her about her accusations?" the officer asked.
Xander smirked. "I've asked all my past dates to leave her to
me. Other than that, I'm going to sue her ass and get her banned
"She's in the hospital," the social worker said.
Xander snorted. "Wasn't me. We had their first birthday
party earlier then we came home to nap off the exertion of playing on
McGarrett's beach and all the ice cream."
"That's good," the officer said.
Xander smirked at him. "If I wanted her gone that badly, I have
many subtle ways. Including selling her to a few cannibal demon
tribes I know."
The social worker shuddered. "That's also good to know."
"I save them for the really big threats, like the person who tried to
marry me against my will. He and his brother were very sorry and I
didn't offer them but they showed up to deal with them over killing
their future leader. I was in the middle of making them damn sorry
on my own and raiding their bank accounts." She burst out
cackling. He smiled. "Like I said, if you're a good one and
not one of the bitches, then we can work together."
"I'd appreciate that." She shook his hand. "I don't see any
evidence of anything wrong. Can I examine one of the boys?"
"We'll see who's up." He walked her up there. "Hey, Jensen,"
he said when he found him awake. "The social worker wants to make
sure I'm not beating you or anything." Jensen stiffened and
started to whimper. "Okay, or not. Calm down." He
petted his stomach. "It's all right." He picked him up to
cuddle him. "We'll work on that later. Cougar?" he asked
since he was awake. Anyone moving near the door woke Cougar and
Clay both up. Cougar glared at the woman, who smiled back at
him. "It's all right. She just wants to look." He
looked at Jensen, walking him off to talk to him in the kitchen and calm
him down. Jensen calmed down and they went back upstairs.
The social worker was putting Cougar's pajama shirt back on. "We
good?" he asked the baby.
Cougar nodded. She smiled at him. "He's very smart."
She smiled and waved at Jensen. "I'm not mean, young man."
Jensen nodded. "Fine, I won't come near you without your father
being there. I'd never want to make you panic." She patted
over his hair. "You should go back to sleep."
"He will soon." He picked up Cougar to look at him. "You
sleepy?" Cougar shook his head. "Then we'll have a
bottle." He carried them down to the kitchen to put them into
their high chairs and made them bottles of koolaid. Jensen
grinned. "I know you like grape." He petted them both on the
head. "Drink and then we'll go nap again." The social
worker came down with Frank. "You awake too?" Frank
nodded. "Want a bottle too?" He shook his head.
"Okay." He put him down. "Don't bite anyone." Frank
snorted but crawled off. He saw more officers coming up the street
and groaned. Xander came to check on him and then nodded.
Frank got picked up and put back into the kitchen. Someone
pounded. Xander looked at the doors. "Guys, is there a
"Mr. Harris?" Xander nodded. "Can we talk?"
"If you must. I'm dealing with someone making false accusations against me at the moment."
The officer came in. "Sir, we're told that you have weapons that're illegal."
"No, I have presidential permission," Xander said dryly. The
officer shrugged. Xander walked off rolling his eyes, finding the
copy of it. He held up the framed letter. "I have
*presidential* permission. Who said they overruled the president?"
"Sir, there's a few people who hate you being here," the officer said. "Including the governor."
"That's funny, I saw her earlier at the boys' birthday party and she
never said that." The officer flinched. He looked at the
"This has nothing to do with the teacher making a false complaint because she hates men being macho," the social worker said.
The officer looked at her. "Why would that matter?"
"She decided me teaching the kids about where I had traveled was bad,"
Xander quipped. "Asked them very carefully if anything had
happened because she hates me too." The officer nodded and pulled a
gun. Xander struck and knocked him down, kicking the gun
away. "Okay," he decided. "Putting me back into warrior mode
is always a very bad idea." He looked at the original officer,
who shrugged. "Would you like him?"
"That's not my job but I can call our commander, Mr. Harris." He
did that and checked on the ones outside. "Huh, part of the SWAT
Xander walked into the armory and came out with something. He also
called the neighbor. "They hate that I hunted for the
Council. One just tried to kill me in my own house. There's
going to be some light and noise." He hung up.
"Please don't," the first officer said. He walked out there.
"Guys, you're making the person with presidential permission to have
weapons paranoid," he noted. One of them shot him in the leg.
The social worker frantically called that in. Xander dialed one
number. "I'm under attack, Governor. Some of the PD just
shot one of their own for telling them that they're being stupid
bitches. Light and noise right now. You've got under a
minute. They're moving." He hung up. "Take the boys
upstairs," he ordered calmly. "My closet is bulletproof and
locking." She grabbed the boys and ran up the stairs. She
got the others and hid. She noticed there were a few guns and some
survival supplies in there. She covered the boys with the
bulletproof vests she found in there and called her superior
again. The light flash from whatever was in the canister was
bright enough to show through the crack of the door. She felt
sorry for the officers who were stupid.
Xander watched them all fall down and sighed, leaning on the door frame
when more officers pulled up. "I only knocked them out," he
announced when the first one got out of the car. He pointed.
"They shot that officer in the leg so you might want to get him an
"Sir, put down your weapon," that officer ordered.
"What weapon?" he asked, moving so they could see him. "I threw a
light grenade, guys. It knocked them out. Get your person
who was shot by your other people help." The officer radioed that
in. Xander sat on the stairs. More people rushed up and he
waved at the governor. "The social worker that the loony bitch
made the false report to has the boys. That officer was the one
she brought with her. The one inside pulled a gun on me in front
of that one."
"That's fine. Where is he?"
Xander pointed. "Armory."
She got two officers to pick him up with her. "Xander, he's not here."
"He was there." He leaned back to look inside. "Upstairs. That side," he said with a point.
She went up there with her guarding officers and they found the officer
trying to get into the room. "What do you think you're
doing?" He turned and tired to shoot her. The other officers
got him non-fatally. She took a deep breath. "Okay.
Boys, down. Now." They took the officer down the
stairs. She caught her breath and knocked on the door. "It's
safer now," she called.
"We're not coming out until Mr. Harris tells us it is safe," she announced.
"That's reasonable. Thank you." She walked off.
"Xander, she's not coming out until she hears from you." She found
him in cuffs. "He has the right to defend himself and his boys."
"Chill," Xander said. "If they want to charge me, so be it.
We'll work this out in court." She nodded, lifting her chin
up. "The boys go to Danny tonight please."
"Gladly." She called McGarrett, interrupting his sleep. Then
she hung up and looked at the officers under arrest. "I want your
side of this. Now." He glared. "You're going to jail,
I don't give a damn. We'll get it out of you somehow."
Someone stomped her way and Xander nudged her out of the way and
attacked them. "I don't think we need your help, Doranty."
He kicked him back and maneuvered to put his cuffs in front of
him. The guy attacked and he got him down and standing on his
throat. "Tell me now what the fuck is going on," he ordered.
He moved his foot. "Your last chance at confession is now."
He pressed again. "Well? I'm out of patience and they tried
to attack my kids." He let his throat go again and the guy gasped
out something in Chinese. Xander looked down at him.
"Anyone else speak Chinese so it doesn't look like I'm putting words in
"He said Yi sent him to finish you off after he arranged this
humiliation," Steve said as he walked over. "Can I have him?"
"Hell no." He kicked the guy under the chin. "Yi and I will
be talking." He let him go and stared at an officer. "Keys?"
he asked mock-cheerfully.
"I think we can get him," Steve said.
"You can follow going 'he's really pissed off, no one should try to
attack his kids again'," Xander quipped. He looked and then
wrapped the chain around something then pulled. His wrist bled but
that was fine. He got free of one of them. "Good." He
walked off. "Get the boys to Danny please, Governor? I'm
going to be a bitch to him."
"Who is that guy?" she asked one of the officers.
"Major head of the syndicate that wants to adopt Xander and the boys," Kono said. "Xander, let us help!"
"Fuck no. Sit, stay, good protective auntie!" he called
back. He knocked someone out and took their bike. "Thanks,
I'll leave it in a nice hotel's lot."
"I have the car," Steve called.
"Yay." Xander zipped off.
Steve ran for the car. This was going to be bad.
The governor shook her head. "People, try to calm him down," she
ordered. A few ran after them. She looked at the
officer. "So you're in the pay of a chinese syndicate?" He
hung his head. "Or are you just paranoid that he was with the
Council?" He shuddered. "Whatever. Clean their mess
Danny showed up and slammed his car door. "Are the kids and Xander all right?" he demanded when he saw Kono.
"The children are in his closet, Detective Williams," the governor
said. "She's not coming out until he tells her it's all
clear. He wants you to watch them." He nodded once and
stomped inside. She calmed herself down. "Clean up this
mess. We've made a big enough spectacle tonight." The
officers in charge got things together. "If we find Harris, we can
talk about all this tomorrow when we're calm. Before I shoot
people." They sped up the clean up.
Steve walked Xander back into the unit the next morning, pushing him
into a chair. "Sit." Xander barked. "Thank you," he
Kono looked over. "Didn't save him any?"
"No. Not in the least. Steve got there as I kicked Yi out
the damn window, which didn't originally open. Then I called
someone and told them that because they had ideas as well."
"Jesus," Danny muttered, shuddering. "Does this go with the cute
names they used to call you in Africa when people pissed you off?"
"Yup," Xander said. "Am I under arrest?"
"No clue," Danny said. "The boys are with Rachel and Gracie; we kept her home today. That teacher is in traction."
"The officer that showed up with the social worker told me that. Is he all right?"
"He's fine," Kono said. "He said thank you for making them evacuate him first."
Xander nodded. "It sucked because he was only doing his
job." He looked back as the door opened. "Morning, Chin."
"Morning, Xander. The Commissioner and the Mayor are somewhere
behind me," he warned everyone. He made some coffee. "Need
"No, I'm fine. Thank you though." He shifted to look when
Rachel came in with the kids. "Boys," he sighed, pulling them over
to hug. Roque made complaining noises but yay. He settled
on the floor with them in his lap.
The Mayor walked in and paused. "You still have them?" he asked.
Xander looked at him. "You are aware that I destroyed six blocks
in Russia over one of the slayers I was training being taken hostage?"
he countered. "Fuck if I didn't hate her half the time because she
was spoiled and wanted to go be a money grubbing ho to get free of
Russia as a trophy wife." The Mayor flinched. He went back
to hugging the kids.
The commissioner stomped in. "At least you limited the damage."
Xander looked at him. "What would you do if it was your kids?" he asked.
"My children don't have arms dealers wanting them."
"Like it's my fault that they want my ass as their kitty cat," Xander
shot back, glaring at him. "If nice, decent sorts were attracted
to me it'd be different but I've never dated anyone nicer than a former
vengeance demon or a head cheerleader. And by the way, most of
them would never *think* about harming my kids. That one didn't
like that his boss wanted me as a spouse because it might compromise
some of his power making moves. I'm pretty sure his boss has told
him it wouldn't but he decided against it. So I'm pretty sure his
boss is going to shrug and go 'he brought it on himself'."
"Enough," Danny said. He pointed. "Crawl in there,
guys." They glared. "Now. Let the adults talk."
Jensen refused to move so Chin got him and took him in there to close
them into the office. "Thank you." He looked at them.
"I would've made a bigger mess and I don't date arms dealers." The
commissioner backed down. "We have enough anger right now, don't
"He harmed some of our officers," the commissioner said.
"Sure, next time I'll let them shoot me and the boys," Xander snapped
back. "Then I'll become a soul of vengeance and destroy you
all." He smiled sweetly. "Anything else you want to ask me
"I heard you had a social worker there," he sneered.
"Yes, because a teacher hated my former job and that I'm not one of
those soppy, sensitive sorts, though she hated me being gay.
Apparently I'm not metrosexual enough for her tastes. Then again,
she was taking bribes from the same people who were paying those
officers. I made damn sure that everyone I know would leave her
alone so we could get her in court." The commissioner pulled his
gun. "That's a weak peashooter. Hell, I've improvised better
weapons than that in the bush." He glanced at the mayor, who was
"You go right ahead," he said, standing up. He held out his
arms. "Take a free shot." The man's hand shook. "Go
ahead. It's your only one. After all, it's not like I have
to protect anyone around here. I'm sure the next one will come for
you." The man raised his gun. "C'mon. I can shoot
people if I need to, I'm sure you can't." The commissioner started
to pull the trigger but Danny had his in his hand. So did Kono
"Give him his shot, guys. He wants it so much, let him prove his
macho level. Not like he's a good shot." The man shot him
and it went into his arm. Xander yelped and held it.
"Okay." He attacked and knocked the guy down and out. Then
he calmed himself. "Cool, another bandage. Kono, where's the
bathroom and the bandage kit?" She pointed a shaky hand.
"Thanks." He stomped on the guy's chest on his way over him.
He came out a minute later putting on the bandage. Xander looked
down at him. "I could shoot better than that even before I got
possessed by someone Army and I hadn't held a gun before then." He
sat down again, not looking at his very pissed off cousin.
Danny was looking up, praying for patience. "Xander, can I see you in the office?"
"No. We can talk later," he said dryly. "Right now we have to talk to those two."
Danny grabbed him by the ear and pulled him off. "McGarrett, do
SEAL things to them please." He dragged Xander into the office and
kicked the door shut.
Kono winced at the shouting going off. "Ooooh. I'm so glad I'm not the in there."
Steve nodded. "Get Xander the better first aid kit. That way
he can pull the bullet or do stitches." She found it and tossed
it in there and then shut the door again. Chin gave her a
look. She went to hide with the kids. Steve looked at
them. "Now that you've made asses of yourself," he said a bit too
calmly. "What else are we going to do today?"
"I'll have you fired," the Mayor said firmly.
Steve glared. "You go right ahead," he said, making him
flinch. The governor walked in. "Governor, we're about to
have a masculine discussion. Can you give us ten minutes?"
She looked then shook her head. "I don't think I should. Did
you have to injure him that way, McGarrett?" He pointed in his
office where Danny was ranting and helping Xander apply a better
bandage. "I saw his temper last night."
"The commissioner pulled a gun," Steve said. "Xander machoed him down to where he shot him."
She nodded and looked at the Mayor. "Are you in the employ of the
same people as last night's were?" The mayor tried to stomp
off. The agents waiting on the other side of the door stopped him
and arrested him. They came in to get the other one. "Thank
you, boys. Are there others?"
"Ma'am, does Mr. Harris need more help?" one asked politely. She
pointed. He winced. "I'll debrief him later." They
walked out. "Have a better day, McGarrett."
"You as well," he said automatically, looking at his boss. "What happened?"
She smirked. "They showed up with information on who was dirty and
who had been blackmailed to be there, arrested all the dirty ones, and
then gave the others deals to testify and lose their badges but not
their freedom. I'm told the being that started all this got served
with papers this morning about a lawsuit. The social worker is
testifying in Xander's behalf." Steve nodded slowly.
She winced as the yelling got louder again. "He looks like he's
used to that."
"The slayers tend to nag," Steve said calmly. "Is it going to happen again?"
"I'm told that sixty different gang members, arm and drug dealers, and
some people procurers left Hawaii for good this morning. More are
finding more quiet ways to leave. The FBI had a lot of fun
arresting those that panicked enough to use the main airports."
"Good. A win for the good guys." He winced at the continued
yelling and then one of the kids crying. "Chin, let the kids go
calm them down?" he called. Chin shook his head. Steve
opened the door, letting Jensen crawl toward the other office
sobbing. "He's fine, Jensen." He opened that door.
"Let me finish cleaning up his arm," Danny ordered.
"No!" Jensen shouted. "Bad!" He swatted his father, staring at him. "Bad!"
Xander picked him up with a small moan. He knew rage and anger in
babies that young came out in screaming and crying fits so he wasn't
worried about the baby crying. "I had to so they wouldn't try to
hurt you guys again. I'm fine. It was only a .22. It's
a tiny wound. It's fine." Jensen swatted him again with a
scowl. "I know it was dumb but it had to happen. Now you're
all safer." Jensen swatted him again and then wiggled so Xander
put him down. He crawled off to pout at Kono.
She picked him up to cuddle him. "Xander's fine. That's a
tough guy move even though it was really stupid. We'll spank him
later for it." Jensen nodded, putting his head down on her arm.
Chin shook his head. "Some day you'll have a few of those," he quipped. "And I'll spoil my new cousins rotten."
She swatted at him. "It's going to be years." She slid to
the floor to cuddle Frank and Cougar since they looked upset too.
"It's all right. He's just fine, even if he will be deaf from the
Someone appeared in a flash of light. "What the hell happened!" she demanded.
"Oh kill me this time," Xander muttered, getting swatted by his
cousin. "Go the fuck away," he called. "I don't need this
stress right now, Willow."
"Excuse me?" she demanded, stomping that way. "You're coming back to Cleveland right now, Mister!"
"First, kids so no I'm not," he shot back. "Second, the president told you to stay out of the US."
She snorted. "I don't take orders from any man." Steve knocked her out.
"Yes you do or else he throws you in Gitmo," Danny quipped.
"I might be able to arrange that," the governor said. She called
an agent. "Willow Rosenburg showed up threatening to take Mr.
Harris to Cleveland by force without his sons." She hung up with a
wince. "He's swearing."
"I'm mentally swearing," Steve said. "I've got to teach him better tactics."
"I think he's got bad enough ideas," Danny complained.
"I was going to teach him how to handle things more sanely."
"Guys, headache, me," Xander complained. "Go fuck and feel
better." They both backed down. He stood up and walked over
Willow. "C'mon, guys, let's go home."
"It's a crime scene for the rest of the day," the governor said.
"Then we'll go to the bar, I could use a beer." He gathered them
together. Roque slapped him. "I know it was dumb but it was
the only way to protect you guys. You can yell when you're old
enough to talk." He walked them off in their special
stroller. "Let me hide before she wakes up," he said as he walked
past the governor. He nodded at the agent stomping his way.
"Going to hide before she finds us again."
"Thanks," he said sarcastically. He walked in and handcuffed
Willow. "Let us take her back to the office." He hauled her
up and off. She was starting to wake up. She
struggled. "Do it some more, Rosenburg, and you're definitely
going to prison."
"I don't take orders from you!" she shouted, magicing herself away to an
open area she sensed nearby. She spotted Xander. "We're
going right the hell now," she ordered, trying to grab him. He put
the stroller between them. "They'll be fine," she sneered.
He punched her. "Don't touch my sons, Willow." She gaped,
starting to cry. "I'm still hot from dealing with the last people
who tried to hurt my kids. You're in deep shit with me.
Permanently deep shit. I'd still be working with the slayers if
you hadn't told everyone about that Thanksgiving." He walked off
again. He spotted someone. "Douggie, we need a ride," he
called. "Right the hell now please." The bookie stopped and
stared then nodded. He got back into the car and helped Xander put
the boys on the backseat. No car seat but it was better to get
away from all that mess. Xander slid into the back with the
kids. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"You need medical attention?" he asked as he pulled out of the parking spot.
"Probably not. I stitched it. I'm not dragging you from something important, right?"
"Divorce hearing in an hour but I can drop you off and come back. Was that Rosenburg?"
"Yeah, she decided I was going back to Cleveland without the boys; they could handle themselves. So I punched her."
"Okay," he said. He texted ahead while Xander checked the boys. He
dropped them at the bar and went back to the courthouse. He
didn't need to be anywhere near wherever Rosenburg would be throwing a
Xander walked the boys into the bar and sat down with a sigh. "Can
I have a beer?" he asked. "My wallet's probably at home."
"I'll buy you one," the bartender said. "Arm?"
"Stitched. Idiot pulled a .22."
"Damn." He handed him the beer and waved at the kids. "We have a safe room set up in the back. Go for it."
"I'd rather be around people I know won't try to help Yi. Or
Willow." The bartender winced. "She showed up. Which
is why I need the beer." He took a sip and patted himself
down. "Do one of you guys have my phone?" Jensen patted the
diaper bag. "Thanks, Jensen." He pulled it out to check then
called. "It's me," he said. "I punched Willow for saying my
boys could be left all alone when she took me to Cleveland against my
will." He took a drink while she complained. "Buffy, I don't
care. We had people who wanted to kill me and the boys last
"We had one this morning who hated I helped you and the other slayers
try to kill me too. In front of the boys. Then Willow showed
up here. That's why I'm presently having a beer for breakfast,"
he said a bit too calmly. "So call your rabid bitchy one
home. Because I'm pretty sure they were going to arrest her for
being in the US when the president said she can't be." Buffy hung
up and stomped off. He called Dawn and told her what had
happened. She agreed they'd handle it and to calm down. He
dropped the phone into the diaper bag and relaxed. No one in the
bar was going to hurt him or the kids.
"Look for an announcement about the head of the local PD and the mayor,"
the bartender said after getting a text message. Xander pointed
at his arm. "Okay then." Xander nodded, taking another
drink. "Your bitchy girls?"
"Buffy's ranting probably. Dawn's quietly calling people to handle Willow."
"Good!" one of the others said. "If she stomps in here we'll wound her so you can get away with the boys."
Xander grinned. "Thanks. Don't wound my cousin but lay down cover fire for me?"
"If we can," the bartender quipped. "His partner is scary and mean."
"He's calming down too." He finished his beer. "Hopefully
he's locked my cousin in a room to finish ranting at the air."
"We should probably tell them you're safe," another of the patrons noted. "Before they storm somewhere looking for you."
"Call the big, fluffy guy at the sno cone place?" Xander
suggested. Everyone stared at him. "Like that one Hispanic
comic calls himself?"
"Oh, him." The bartender found his number in the phone book.
"It's Franklin at the Dive and Cover. Can you get word back to
5-0 that we have Xander safely here and he's hiding from
Rosenburg? Yeah, it needs to be subtle this time.
Thanks." He hung up. "He said he'd call the cute young guy
you're not related to." Xander gave him a weak grin. "You
sure you don't want the back room? You look exhausted."
"I am but if she teleports in, she can't grab me from out here."
"We'd try to shoot her for you," the guy in the back corner
quipped. "Not sure if we'd manage it though, Harris." Xander
nodded. "We'd call someone in Cleveland though." Xander
gave him a weak grin too. "Here, there's a bench here. Curl
up and put the boys under the table next to you." Xander nodded,
maneuvering them that way. He had to shift the table some but it
worked. "Nap. We'll watch." Xander hugged him and laid
He noticed Frank waving a hand. "You guys rest too. We'll
watch over Xander. We're not sure why anyone was stupid enough to
come after you guys after what he's done in the past, but clearly
they're more wary now." Frank nodded and stared at the
others. They all curled up and he stayed up for now. They
watched them nap, being mostly quietly. When Frank started to
drift off, he patted Roque, who woke up and nodded, shifting some with a
grimace. "I have no idea how to change you," he said
quietly. One of the other guys snuck over to take Roque and the
diaper bag to the bathroom then brought him back.
Roque smirked at him for it. "We have it," the guy assured
him. Roque shrugged and settled in to watch over the
'daddy'. He did insane shit like their team would have.
Chin hung up his phone and looked over at where Steve had locked Danno
in an office. "He's at the bar," he called. Danno quit
yelling to stare at him. "They called Kamekoa. He's at the
bar with the boys. He ducked Rosenburg."
Danno nodded and got the door open, then stomped out. "Let me go do some guarding duty."
Three old women appeared. "Where is Willow?" one asked. "She's upsetting the protections on the islands."
"You take her off my state," Steve ordered. "And out of the US."
One of them stared at him. "That's not your decision, young man."
"The president said so," he shot back.
She slumped and shook her head. "We'll try." They tracked
Willow outside. "What do you think you're doing!" she demanded
when she found her.
"I'm not doing anything!" Willow complained.
"Except killing the protections against evil influences," the head witch said. "Let's go, Willow. Now."
"But!" she started. They took her with them against her will. "But Xander!" she complained when they reappeared.
"He's fine," the head witch said. "He'd be more fine if you hadn't
told people where he was. Go to your room. We'll be
"Beyond that, you probably couldn't move the boy and the children," the quiet witch said.
"So?" Willow demanded. "They can handle it!" The quiet one
slapped her. Willow pulled up power and the head witch knocked her
"She's to go back to isolation," she announced. The others dragged
her that way. "If she gets out, she'll be hunted." She went
to tell the others of the coven what had happened.
Xander got a nudge from someone in the bar. "They took Willow back
to the coven," he said quietly. "Before she warped all of our
Xander grinned. "Good. Hopefully they'll paddle her."
He yawned. "Whoever ran that teacher over, thank you."
"Wasn't us," the bartender said.
"Is Loki here? If so, the protections are already broken."
"She's on a ship off the coast," Steve said from his seat. Xander
blinked at him. "She still can't get on the islands but she said
something about imps and getting an idea from a book about
guardians." He pointed at the boys. "They're all
fine." Xander nodded and relaxed. "You're going to be nagged
to death by your cousin. Thankfully Rachel took Grace with her
when she left." He stared at him. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. It was necessary or else they would've come back.
People like that don't understand and respect anything unless you earn
it by being better and tougher."
"That one, he learned his lesson for other reasons," Steve said. "I would've wounded him."
"Then he would've sent more minions. We would've had a repeat of
last night. Since he was an officer, no one would've arrested him
and kept him for pulling his gun on me."
"We would've helped," Steve said.
"I know but that was the fastest and the safest way of protect the boys."
"He could've killed you."
"He was aiming for Kono and hit my arm," Xander said dryly. "There's tons of stories about him being a pathetic shot."
"I've heard," Steve agreed. "My father told me once the old
commissioner had tried to hit a squirrel in a tree and had hit the power
line in a whole other tree five hundred feet away, pulling down power
for a few hours." Xander nodded he'd heard the same. "Still,
there is the element of lucky shots."
"I judged where his gun was. Even if he had gotten me in the
stomach, I could've gotten back up for a few minutes." Steve
glared. Xander shrugged. "I have."
"I saw that. Your cousin saw that and nearly had a stroke."
Xander grimaced. "Maybe having him help protect me wasn't a good
idea of the president. I love my cousin but I'm causing him a lot
of stress. I can switch islands."
"No you're not," Steve ordered. "He will lose his temper and his
mind. I'd hate to have to shoot him to get him off you. Or
you to put you out of your misery." Xander gave him a weak
grin. "C'mon, you guys can have my couch tonight."
"No. We're going somewhere that has security," Xander said.
"So they don't come after you either. I'd send the boys but that
could still endanger you."
"No it won't. Even the guys that hate your old job within the PD
won't come near them or you. After last night, they might not even
show up if you call for help but they definitely won't be attacking
you." Xander grimaced but nodded. "So, let's go to my
place. The boys and you will be safe."
"I was going to raid my trust fund and go to a really upscale, protective hotel."
"That one needs reservations years in advance," Steve said.
Xander shook his head. "Not necessarily."
"Loki's father owns it," one of the thugs said. "Cougar's making *that* face."
Xander looked and grabbed things to change him in the bathroom.
"C'mon, let's clean that nasty butt before you draw something that likes
crap." Cougar snorted but let him.
Steve looked at the bartender. "Did she arrange something?"
"Yup. None of us are willing to screw with Loki Beldane at
all. Even the other chaos people don't screw with whatever she's
"Ethan tried once," Xander said as he came back out with Cougar.
"He regretted it but he did try once." He put him back into the
stroller. "Anyone else need one?" Pooch nodded so he got
changed too. "Thanks for watching over us, guys."
"Not a problem," the bartender called. "You were in scary bitch
mode and it might draw someone else to want you more than Hai does."
"Does she want him?" Steve asked.
"More than Hai does. She said her god wants to create the next
high priest from them. She's got ways of moving past his mermaid
taint and all that."
Xander came out shaking his head. "It can't happen. She
wants a daughter and I pleaded with a few higher beings to never have a
daughter because the Powers would turn her into a slayer." He put
Pooch back. "Beyond that, if she does, I get majority custody."
"Danno would coo over a new baby in the family," Steve said.
"Though he said to remind you that we agreed not to stress him out."
Xander shrugged. "It wasn't my decision. I played it as it laid. I tried to keep him out of it."
"Yeah but he's still mad." Xander rolled his eyes and sighed. "Maybe you should join her on the boat?"
"I get seasick," Xander admitted.
"It might help if you ate," the bartender offered.
"I'll order once we're there," he said. "C'mon, guys. Let's get a ride to the hotel."
"Your car's impounded as part of the crime scene since we had to pull some bullets," Steve said.
Xander found the phone and winced at the no charge bars. He called
her quickly. "Am I able to bum that room tonight? Thanks,
Loki. Figuring out how to get there now since the car's part of
the crime scene. That'd be really great. Thanks. We'll
video chat once I get there with them." He grinned.
"Thanks." His phone beeped. "That's my battery." It
shut off on him. "They're sending an SUV."
"That's cool," Steve said. "You're still getting guarded tonight by someone."
"Koko?" Jensen cooed with a grin.
Steve smiled. "I'll see but I think she has a date tonight.
Otherwise I'd let you and Frank flirt with her some more." He
patted them on the head. Someone honked and Xander looked then
walked the stroller out there. The driver looked at Steve.
"I'm helping guard him tonight. His cousin may be showing up later
"We have very good guards. Trained very highly, Lieutenant Commander."
"We know but his cousin is one of our people and some of our people tried him earlier."
"You'd have to check with our head of security, Lieutenant
Commander. You can follow us out there to do that." Steve
nodded, getting into the car. He helped Xander put the boys into
the carseats. "Go ahead, sir." Xander nodded and climbed in,
buckling up too. He got in to drive. "Miss Beldane said
that you were attacked?"
"Someone who likes me a lot has an heir for his power while he's in
jail. That one decided I'm in his way so he bribed a whole bunch
of officers." The driver grimaced. "I'm not in that sort of
life. I worked with the Council before I retired. He just
thought I'd make a great lap kitty."
"That's good. We don't usually allow those that have such security problems into the resort."
Xander looked at him. "If I hadn't had to attack back at cops last night I wouldn't have asked for the favor."
"I understand why, especially with your sons."
"They were really stupid to try to attack my sons."
"They were," the driver agreed. He pulled into the resort and
nodded at the gate guards to let the car following them in. He
pulled up to the gate, letting one of the other guards come help Xander
with the boys. "Lieutenant Commander McGarrett wants to talk to
the boss," he said quietly. They summoned him and let him talk to
Steve about how they'd protect Xander. Then the driver talked to
him. The boss knew and told him what all this was about. It
made him feel better that they weren't protecting an arms dealer or
Xander flopped down once the boys were inside the room, letting them
down. "Okay," he said. "Let me thank Loki." They
nodded and settled in to scout the room. He sat down at the desk,
turning on the computer. It was already waiting on him.
"It's not a problem, Xander. If I could get into Hawaii I would've protected you and the boys."
He grinned. "I did okay. And thank you for leaving most of the destruction of the other minion to me too."
She smirked. "It was her own doing." She touched the screen. "Which one is behind you?"
Xander looked. "Hey, Roque." He picked him up. "Roque,
this is Loki. She really wants to give you a sibling and a
wedding to be altar boys at."
Roque scowled at her. "No!"
She giggled. "Willow gave me that same look the last time I talked
to her about you." She grinned at her intended. "The Coven
has her in isolation again. If she breaks free, they're going to
declare her a hunt subject."
He slumped and nodded. "Thank you for letting me know."
"I want you to relax. I had them bring you guys something to
eat. There's a washer in the room so you guys can have clean
clothes tomorrow. They know the boys are eating mushy
things." He nodded, yawning. "Go sleep, Xander. We'll
talk in a few days. I'm going to have fun bragging to Hai that his
chosen heir is an idiot."
"Yi wanted power and was sure I'd remove him instead. He panicked and was very sorry."
"I'm sure he was. I would be if I did something like that."
"You know that even if you could undo the infertility problem it'd still be a boy?"
"I heard," she said, grimacing some. "But we'd have to see,
dear. Beyond that, I like you even without an heir." She
blew a kiss. "Go rest. Let whichever one is following you
feed the boys."
"I can feed them." He yawned. "It'll be fine. Thanks, Loki."
"You're welcome." She hung up and went to pray to keep her temper
at her altar. She really needed to get her temper back under
control. Xander was at least honest with her and not trying to
lead her on but those boys were now her heirs. No one was going to
mess with that. That reminded her, she had paperwork to do to
ensure that wasn't bothered later on if something happened to her.
Xander looked at Roque. "C'mon, let's see when dinner is.
I'm sure you guys didn't get lunch." He called the desk.
"It's Xander Harris. Yes, we are ready for dinner. I
was going to see when she had planned for it to come up." He
grinned. "They will eat that, yes. They adore pasta and
cheese. Thank you." He hung up and put Roque down, siting on
the carpet with the boys. They were staring out the window.
He looked then smiled.
"It's a pretty view," he told them. They nodded. When
someone knocked, Xander got up and checked the extra-large peephole
before letting them in. The waiter put down the trays of food and
had him sign something then left. Xander sniffed the first dish
and called the desk. "Hi, I'm not sure if that was your waiter
that brought us the food that smells like arsenic or not," he said
dryly. They said they'd be right up. The waiter was brought
up in cuffs. Xander nodded it was him and looked at the slip he
had signed, ripping it up. The head of security came up with Steve
and Danny. "Hey."
"At least you're immune to it, even if the boys aren't," Danny said,
hugging him. Xander gave him an odd look. "I'm your cousin,
you nearly died a few times in the last day. You're getting
hugged. Deal with it." Roque cackled. He
smirked. "It's his reason too, I know."
"We'll bring some undrugged food up," the head of security told
him. Xander smiled and nodded. "Thank you for alerting us to
this security breach. It will not happen again." He
left. Steve summoned regular PD to arrest the person. Twenty
minutes later, clean food was brought up. Xander was half asleep
but he woke up to feed the boys. They all fell asleep over
dinner. Danny got them changed and put down. Xander just
stripped and laid down. Danny found the washer and ran the clothes
for them. It was good for the night.
Xander got woken up the next morning by someone knocking. He
yawned on his way to open the door, glancing out the spy hole
first. He blinked a few times at the head of security. "New
problem?" he asked at his hurt look. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No." He walked in and shut the door. "A message I'm hoping is coded was sent for you." He handed it over.
Xander read it then went to the computer to log in. That end was
on and showed ... Something really nasty. Xander found
Danny's phone and dialed someone else. "It's Xander. I just
heard a rumor. Confirm it or deny it." He listened then
groaned. "Who?" He nodded once. "Fuck." That
woke Danny up. "Thanks." He hung up and tossed him his
phone. "No, it's not," he told the head of security. He let
him see the monitor. "I'm sorry. I liked Loki. She was
a great friend." He sighed, sitting down.
"Do we know who?" he asked. "Or should we investigate?"
"She's off the coast," Xander said. "I'm not sure how far off."
"We can trace the signal," Danny said quietly. "Any idea what happened?"
"Willow. She got mad that people were helping me retire away from
them." He cleared his throat. "I need my main
phone. It has a number I don't have in this one."
Danny called someone. "It's us. We need a number from
Xander's main phone. He said Willow killed at least the person
helping him hide last night."
"And most of Hai's people with him," Xander said quietly. "Including his new, pregnant wife."
"Geez," Danny muttered, repeating that. "Which one do you need?"
"I have to call him. He won't take a call from anyone else."
"Chin'll bring it in a few minutes." He hung up. "You
okay? I know you were friends with 'em." Xander shook his
"I got told the coven had her in isolation and if she got free she was
to be hunted. With her taking out a high priestess, she's in deep
and they'll take out the coven around her." The head of security
settled in to make a report and help trace the signal. "Hai was in
a jail in Macau," he said quietly. "I'm hoping she didn't get
anyone else. Two is bad enough." When Chin got there he
looked at his phone. It was fully charged. He had two
numbers he had to call. "Should I be practical or warn Buffy and
them first?" he asked.
"Practical," Danny said.
"Buffy blames me for making that choice before." He called the
practical one first. "It's Xander. It's bad news.
There's a hunt." They went quiet. "Willow's killed people
who were protecting me. She's with the Devon coven wherever they
are in Mexico. She's in isolation and they said she's a step down
from being hunted. This will get her hunted. Loki Beldane
was one of them. I'm not sure if there's more than two,
Chuck. If you find out, tell me? Thanks." He hung up
and called the main Council number. "Darwin, it's me. Gather
people around a speaker. Now. No, it's bad damn
He waited. Buffy came on crying. "Did Willow kill someone
there?" He listened to her rant. "Buffy, she killed two
people last night magically because they were protecting me," he said
quietly. "Even the coven had enough of her. They ordered a
hunt if she got free." Giles asked how he knew. "Someone
told me. Last night she killed Hai and she killed Loki
Beldane." Giles shuddered at that news. "Yeah, she did and I
talked to Chuck, Giles. That way we know if she got anyone
He clenched down at the news he got. "Is Dawn all right? She
can come out here, Buffy. It's warm, quiet, and safer. You
guys have a battle coming up, that's why." He nodded, resting his
forehead on the palm of his hand. "Yeah, I'm sure. Chuck
will tell me if there's more than those two. Because they were
protecting me from the people who decided to kill me and the boys,
Buffy. Including having bribed some officers to attack the
house. Even some higher ups."
He sighed. "I'm not going to argue with you. Send me Dawn
and I'll nurse her back to health," he growled. Giles agreed that
was the best choice even though Buffy complained. He reminded her
that Dawn would be safe out here. "How many others did she nearly
get, Buffy? How many of the slayers did she get since you mostly
worry about them?" She gasped and said something then stomped
off. Giles said he'd check and hung up. Xander handed his
phone to Danny. "Buffy will call crying later."
"Anyone else who can do it so none of the Council has to?" Danny asked.
"Hannibal." He took his phone back. "It's Xander. I
heard," he sighed. "How many?" He winced. "Dawn's
hellishly sick too, Hannibal. Yeah, I'm sad, I'm upset, but I'll
manage it for now." He swallowed. "Mexico last I heard but
they had enough of her too. I called Chuck. I told Buffy and
she got mad. Please. She was trying to break the
protections here yesterday. No, I'm okay. Thanks, man.
Yeah, I'll take virtual hugs. Thanks." He hung up and
tossed his phone back. "The hunters will handle it." Danny
nodded patting him on the arm. He looked at the security guy that
was working with Chin. "She's on a boat."
"We know. She's got a satellite link," Chin said.
"She always linked off a news satellite since her dad owned a news corporation when she was younger."
"That helps," Chin decided. The head of security knew which one.
"Should we tell her family?" Danny asked quietly.
"He's dead," the head of security said. "It was his death that led
Loki to swearing to a pagan god of chaos then changing her name."
Xander nodded. "She had a younger sister but I'm not sure what
happened to her."
"She's in a convent," Xander said. "She tried to dabble, got spooked, and ran. She's a Carmelite nun."
"Good to know," Danny said. "Should we tell her?"
"I will later," Xander sighed. "If Loki didn't somehow have an
automated message or something." That got another nod.
Xander looked at the boys. "Let's get you guys a bath so we can go
"Tomorrow," Danny said. "Its still a crime scene." Xander
huffed but nodded, walking into the bathroom to start the water for a
bath. Danny looked at the head of security.
"She would insist. She did insist we shelter him for as long as
necessary." Danny nodded at that. "I'll have breakfast sent
up. What do babies that young eat?"
"Whatever they can steal from your plate," Chin said dryly. "Especially Jensen." The head of security smiled a bit.
"They like scrambled eggs, oatmeal, and cheerios," Danny said.
"Xander will eat any of those too. Usually he does one huge plate
and feeds them all from it." He got patted by Frank and patted him
back. "Hey. Xander's doing baths." Frank
scowled. "Give him a few?" Frank nodded, crawling that
way. Jensen slid off the bed with a cackle. "Let us know,
Jensen, and we'll move you." That got another cackle. "Or
change your tiny butt." The head of security laughed.
"They're good boys," he said, waking up the others and putting them on
the floor. "Bath time, guys." Xander came out to get the
rest of them. "Clothes are in the dryer, Xander."
"Okay. Thanks." He shut the bathroom door. He looked
at the boys. "Looks like we're here again today." They all
nodded. He got them bathed and into diapers. On the way out
he grabbed all the clothes to get them dressed then went to take his own
shower. He came out and saw the odd looks. "It's not any
worse than walking into a village that's all been killed." They
nodded that was true.
Xander was settled in on his front porch when someone pulled up and got
out. The repairs on the house were done and they were just barely
back and calming down after the rounds of funerals. "Do I know
you?" he asked.
"Mr. Harris, I'm the solicitor for Miss Beldane."
"That was fast. I don't want anything. She was a friend."
"Actually, she filed you as her only heir."
"She has a sister."
"I've talked to her and she said she did not want anything from her
heathen sister." He walked over to stand in front of him.
"Her two cousins wanted a lot but her will left them practically
"She told me they hated her for being a pagan 'flake'."
"One of them mentioned that feeling and it was pointed out that's why they were practically cut out of the will."
"I still don't want anything."
"Did you ever vow anything to her?"
"That if she bothered Dawn I'd have her killed." That got a
grimace and a nod. "She got me really drunk one night on the
anniversary of me starting to hunt," he said more quietly. "I have
no idea but I know we didn't have sex. I was just coming off my
bout of dengue. I was too exhausted to get it up."
"She filed paperwork the next week saying that you were her
husband. Including a pretty bad fake marriage license from
"We were in the Carribean."
Xander shook his head. "Didn't happen."
"It shows intent."
"Still didn't happen. I knew she wanted me to be the father of her
heir. I know she liked me a lot and would've probably tried a
relationship with me, but I'm not sure if it would've worked because she
still wanted to go be wild, go party, get drunk, occasionally smoke
some pot. I'm... not like that. I had three years of not having a
home and constant traveling, battles, and problems."
"It still shows intent and the probate judge will take that into
account. Her cousins are going to try to push their luck."
"I'll support them not getting any. The one I met was a bitch
bigger than some I presently know." His watch beeped. "I
have to go pick up Dawn."
"I've already arranged for her to show up here so you don't have to haul
the kids to the airport and wait with them," the lawyer said
calmly. "I sent Paulo." Xander quirked an eyebrow up.
"She knows him. He flirted with her for weeks."
"As long as he won't hurt her."
"No, he will not because he knows you'll kill him." He pulled out
some forms. "There's a few things that have to go to
someone. They can't take them for taxes without selling them and
if it gets sold it'll put a lot of people out of business."
"Them as well. There's a few others." He pointed. "That's
her listing of assets as we know them. We know there's some hidden
things; I don't handle those and unless the probate judge finds out he
won't be touching it either."
"That would be lying," Xander said. "And probably tax fraud, which
would get my cousin in trouble. Again." His phone rang so
he reached over to get it. "Hey, Dawn. You're early. I
was told that someone you know is picking you up for me because
someone's talking to me about Loki's will." He listened.
"Someone named Paulo? No, I was about to leave and he told me you
knew him, would trust him, all that. Who?" He rolled his
eyes. "They can fight about it later. The other one can give
you an honor guard here since I need to beat that one a little bit
about Hai's stuff. Sure. Napping," he said with a
grin. "Sorry. Yup, I'm here." He hung up. "This
is a cluster fuck," he said.
"Yes, it rather is. If we find it and claim it, that'll mean more taxes. It shouldn't impact you or your cousin."
Xander rubbed his forehead. "No offense but I want someone to read all this for me and give me some unbiased advice?"
"That's actually a solution that any good lawyer would suggest," he said
with a smile. "Do you have one in mind? I can coordinate
"I'll find one tonight." That got a nod. Xander handed the forms back. "Do we have a week?"
"We have about six months."
"Give me a week?"
"Gladly. I'll look at those hidden assets as well."
"Marakesh has some."
"I was not aware of there."
"She has a safety deposit box that at least holds money and documents."
"I'll look. Thank you, Mr. Harris." He left.
Xander looked at his phone. He decided to text Chin. "Got
any relations that're lawyers? I'd trust them to not tell me the
wrong thing, like not admitting to some of Loki's assets for tax
reasons." Then he put it down and groaned. This cluster fuck
was going to drive him nuts. He felt a pat to his ankle and
picked up Pooch to cuddle. "I don't know why they like me.
I'm not like them, I don't understand all that crap, and it's going to
drive me nuts. It's like some punishment for being born
sometimes." Pooch patted him and let Xander hold him for
now. The two cars pulled up and Dawn slowly got out. "Hey."
"Xander." She walked up and felt the wards she had put around the
house wrap around her. She moved Pooch and sat down, holding him
in her lap on top of Xander's lap. "Thank you."
"I'd never want to see you suffer and if I had known she was going to do
that I would've killed her when she showed up." She nodded,
snuggling in. He looked at the two people. "I'm getting
someone independent to go over things that everyone wants with me."
Hai's local top person nodded. "That's very wise. I know Miss Beldane's income would be interesting to look over."
"That too." That got a nod. "I'll hopefully have a name
within a week." That got another nod. "If not I might ask
for an independent name."
"Agreed," he said. He looked at the other, who was staring at Dawn. "I know you flirted once."
"I did. I could've seriously fallen for Dawn if not for her sister driving me off."
"Doesn't really surprise me," Dawn quipped, sounding exhausted. She looked at him. "I'm not at my best right now."
He kissed her hand. "I live here. I will come visit when you
are ready for one." She smiled and nodded. "Xander, if you
need something for her, let me know."
"I will." He nodded and left. Xander looked at the other
one. "I don't need people to arrange things," he said
quietly. "You and Loki's lawyer have been doing a lot of it."
He grimaced. "Hai would want you protected. He was most worried
that you would feel regret for taking out Yi." Xander shook his
head. "He was most impressed as well. Even as he died, he
gasped out that you were his true mate. It is our job to shield
"My cousin," Xander reminded him.
"That is a point and we will discuss this when you have someone
independent to advise you." He smiled. "We would not expect
you to take over the clan. We have a chosen heir ready."
"That's good." Xander shrugged. "Give me a week, Stephen."
"I will." He nodded at Dawn and left.
Dawn looked at him once they were gone. "Wow."
"Which is why I have a headache." He gave her a squeeze. "I put a small bed in the armory for you."
"That'll work." She kissed Pooch on the head. "You need a
haircut." He grinned. "If I could have, I'd have adopted you
guys myself." He frowned and shook his head. "I wouldn't
have turned you guys girly or anything. Xander would've
helped." Xander nodded. "Have you seen someone about the
headaches?" she asked, looking back at him.
"No. You know I hate doctors."
"Xander, what if...."
He covered her mouth. "It's not a tumor. I know it's not a
tumor, Dawn. No one's gotten to me like they did your mom."
She pouted. "I'll have it checked if it's that important to
you." She smiled and nodded. "Do you have any meds or
"Yes and a doctor recommendation." Xander nodded. "Giles is pissed that you called Chuck first."
"I was right to call Chuck first. I should've called him once I got free of her here."
"Yeah, that's what I pointed out, then she wouldn't have killed nineteen people."
"Twenty-three," Xander corrected. "When she was killing Hai she killed a few of the prison guards and his new wife."
"Basically. I told Hannibal too."
"Good!" She gave Pooch a squeeze then sniffed. "Eww, butt
stink," she said, giving him a teasing grin. "Not very mannerly,
Pooch." She got up and Xander took him to change. Dawn sat
down in the chair, falling asleep there. Xander would protect her.
Xander glanced out there then moved the boys to the living room.
"Dawn's napping," he said quietly. They got to work picking on
each other and stretching. Xander put in the baby yoga tape and
they huffed but it was good for them and they knew that. Chin
showed up around dinner time, giving Dawn an odd look. Xander
waved him in. "She's napping it off."
"I noticed the snoring. Is that safe?"
"No one's going to attack here again." He took the card. "Thanks."
"Why is it a problem?"
"Lawyers for both sides are trying to give me advice I'm pretty sure is
wrong. Things like ignoring some of her assets that aren't listed
"No, that would get you in trouble," Chin agreed. Dawn snorted and
woke up. Xander got up to help her inside to her bed. She
curled up and went back to sleep. Xander came back out and
sat with the kids. "I don't personally know any that aren't criminal
attorneys so I asked the guy that handles your trust."
"I didn't even think about that. I figured you know half the islands."
Chin smirked. "Something like that." He left happier.
Xander called their office and left a request to have someone call him
about the wills. Then he got up to feed the kids. They all
needed some food.
Xander and his new lawyer sat down together with the other two lawyers,
and one assistant since Hai's lawyer only spoke Japanese. Dawn had
the boys for a few hours. His lawyer was native Hawaiian
and had longish hair, wore a shirt Xander appreciated but Dawn would
think was hideous, and khakis. "All right," Xander said.
"This is Maui Wirl. He's my attorney on this matter so I get
independent advice." Xander knew he had changed his name to sound
less native, or as Maui put it he got tired of people mispronouncing his
name. Stephen translated that, getting a nod and a smile.
"So let's start with yours, Stephen. Since it'll probably take the
least amount of time." He nodded and laid out the
paperwork. Xander's lawyer knew that he wanted nothing to get
anywhere near Danny so he was going to be overly cautious, which Xander
Maui looked and shook his head. "Totally unacceptable. It
will draw my client deeper into that world, probably endangering his
children." Stephen translated that. The lawyer gave
back his ideas. Which Xander grimaced at. "You speak
"About first year's worth. I learned a little bit of a few of
them. It came in handy while I was traveling for the
Council." He leaned on the table. "I appreciate and adore
that Hai wanted the children protected," he said in English. Then
in Japanese. "I do not want them to have no choice and I do not
want anyone to ever look at my cousin and wonder if he's got relations
that are in the bad circles of life." The lawyer said
something. Xander translated it. "There's no other
heirs?" The lawyer shook his head. "What about whoever takes
"They have their own funds. This was from Hai's personal funds,"
Stephen said. "Not his things from the clan or any business
Xander considered it. "Can you use it to help some kids in
orphanages get into decent schools? I know he went on a
few-week-long complaint about one of his cousins who was left in an
orphanage not getting into a decent school. One really good fund
in each country the clan looks over?"
Stephen and the lawyer looked at each other and spoke. Stephen
nodded. "As long as we could still make sure the children were
protected," he said. "Hai's fondest wish was to protect you and
the children. He would come back to punish us if they were not
Maui nodded. "That's something that I can appreciate. The boys are adorable."
"At one time, Hai really wanted me to be his mate," Xander said.
"I can understand that as well." He smiled. "It would have
to be a totally legitimate, clean source that would be put into a trust
for the boys. That is the only way that Internal Affairs could
stand that situation. They've already been in contact with my
client to make sure that he was going to keep protecting his cousin.
They understand that he's in a very awkward spot right now thanks to all
this." They all nodded. "So I can see setting up a totally
legitimate and clean trust for them." Stephen smiled and
nodded. "The rest could be used toward that very good
suggestion. There's many children who would do wonderful things
for humanity if they had a decent education."
"We agree," Stephen said. "That is a kind, wise, and generous
thing that Xander suggested." Xander grinned. "We can draw
up those papers easily enough."
"That's fine. My office is up the street," Maui said with a smile
as he handed over his business card. They nodded and left to make a
report in their hotel room. He smiled at the other lawyer.
"I've seen the papers you sent him. By law, all assets, even
hidden ones, have to be disclosed or else my client can go to jail."
"I understand. There's some spread in various spots throughout the world."
"They should be listed in her journal," Xander said.
"There was no journal on the boat," he said.
"Willow has to have it then."
"Because she's a magic addict," he said bluntly, grimacing. "I
have no idea what crackhead idea was behind all the killing. She
got twenty-three people."
"Can we find out?"
"She's in Vera Cruz the last time I heard. Another hunter spotted
her. The coven ordered a hunt on her the next morning when they
found out." That got a nod. He called someone.
"Hannibal, Xander. Does Willow have Loki's journal?" He
grimaced. "Shit. Ethan's too?" He winced.
"Where? How sure?" He sighed. "Loki's lawyer needs her
journal to find all her little hidey holes. No, if she's doing
that I wouldn't be shocked if she hacked them as well."
He groaned and rubbed his forehead. "I can't make that call,
Hannibal. She raised me." His voice cracked and he
swallowed. "I'm not sure if they can. Buffy still thinks
that she's innocent. Even with twenty-three... What do you
mean she killed a few others? Who?" He took his lawyer's pen
and pad to make a note. "Damn it!" He huffed. "You
know what, I .... The president didn't want her in the US.
The UK doesn't want her there. She went after normals to get their
energy for sacrifices, didn't she?" He nodded once. "Let me
conference you in." He hit another key and another number.
"Giles, Xander. We're on with Hannibal, who is where Willow is,"
he said quietly. "It's not happy news. No, she's still
alive. She killed a family last night to sacrifice for their
powers. She's stolen some books again too. Hannibal and
whoever's with him spotted some that were marked as being
Ethan's." He swallowed. "That's what they're wanting.
She has some or all of Loki's journals as well. That means she not
only killed her but she stole at the same time so it wasn't
unintentional. No, Dawn's still very sick. She's napping at
the drop of a hat. She's babysitting today but I'm going to be
home soon. Hi, Buffy. A family last night."
Hannibal told them what he knew. Buffy was starting to cry
again. "Buffy, she's not our friend anymore." He glared at
his phone. "Excuse me? I never killed anyone outside of
protecting myself or you girls. I never went and just killed a
family for their souls. Hell, I've stopped a few people who have
done that. Including the one that wanted to kill your blonde
ass." Giles told him to calm down.
"No, I think it needs to be said. I can make this call if you want
me to. I've always been more of a hunter than a watcher.
You guys made that very clear to me." Hannibal said something
else. "How long did the Rangers give you, Hannibal?" He
rubbed his forehead again. "Giles?" He said something
quietly and hung up. "Hannibal, I'm sorry." He nodded at
what he said. "I agree. No, bring them here. I'll hide
them. I don't want them at the Council in case someone else tries
things. Thank you." He hung up and put his head on the
table then looked at the other lawyer. "I'll have them in a couple
of days," he said quietly.
"I can accept that and I'm sorry for your further loss, Xander." Xander nodded, looking at his lawyer.
"I can talk to him and make plans." Xander nodded and left.
He looked at his counterpart. "I'd hate to be in his shoes right
"Me as well. My employer was slightly warped toward a chaos god
but nothing like that. I hope the hunters are all right."
"They should be and he said that there's at least one Ranger there to help them."
"The president signed the hunt order last night."
"I know why. That's dangerous." That got a nod and they went
over what assets she had and what absolutely had to be in decent hands
to keep people from being jobless.
Xander made it home and found Dawn awake. He hugged her. She
squeezed back. "Hannibal found her. She stole books too,"
he said quietly. She started to cry but he held her and let
her. He wanted to do the same. Jensen looked over and he
shook his head. The kids went back to playing with each other.
Giles hung up and turned to hold Buffy. "We have no choice with
her taking out people as sacrifices. Hannibal said that the
president sent military people after her as well." She nodded,
sobbing. "Should you call Dawn?"
"No," she said, looking at him. "She'd probably say it was a good thing."
"Willow did nearly kill her," he said gently. "And many
others. Including some innocent prison guards. Then that
family." She nodded, sniffling. He handed her the tissue
box. "Call Dawn, check on her." She shook her head.
"Xander said she's doing slightly better."
"They should both stay there where it's safer." She blew her nose. "Dawn could get hurt here."
He tipped her face up. "If you treat Dawn like you did Xander, you
will not ever see her again," he said quietly. "She loathed that
problem as much as he did."
"It's still safer."
"Perhaps. But then we've all lost her in our lives and her help during problems."
She nodded. "I'll talk to her about going to college out there and
coming home for problems. The new people you and Doyle hired are
doing a lot of her job anyway." Giles nodded. "Is she really
"Xander faxed a report that said she was still napping a lot but mostly she was fine. The doctor agreed."
"Good." She called out there, curling up in her usual chair.
"Hi, Dawnie." She heard the post-crying voice and
swallowed. "I did the same thing," she admitted. She stopped
Giles from leaving. "How are you feeling?" She listened,
actually listened. "That's good. We were thinking that you
might want to do a year of school out there to get back into Scoobie
shape." She smiled. "To keep you safe too but it's pretty
and paradise. You can lounge on the beach or do homework on the
beach. Then you can come home for holidays and problems.
Plus Xander could probably use some backup."
She grinned. "I know and I don't want you to but with you sick I
want you *safe* and Cleveland isn't. It probably won't ever be
even if we become immortal." She grinned brighter. "That's
actually a really good idea and maybe you can get a nice apartment near
the college or something. Learn Hawaiian since you like language
stuff. Good idea. I'll call tomorrow, Dawnie. How's
Xander doing with all this?" She sat up. "Headaches?"
She relaxed. "Thank you for nagging him. We can't lose him
too. Sure, you go nap with the babies. I'm sure they're
being adorably cute for you." She hung up. "Xander's getting
"There's been no one that could cause problems or a sudden tumor.
I'm sure she'll have him get checked." Buffy nodded.
"Good." He petted over her hair. "Go talk to the other
girls." She got up and left. Giles sat down to think about
some things. Where had he gone so wrong with the children?
Xander looked at the doctor Steve had sent him to when Dawn had
asked. He had even offered her some handcuffs to get him
there. "It's been a lot of stress," he told the nurse. "I've
been getting tons of headaches. Dawn's worried because her mom
died from a sudden onset brain tumor."
"One day she's fine and the next she's having headaches. They found a walnut sized lump."
"Usually you show more symptoms."
"There was a commando unit that was doing nasty things at the time that
we were trying to shut down. I may be a bit paranoid but I haven't
seen any of the ones I'd recognize since I moved out here. Then
again, I've had one friend killing a few other friends and then working
on their wills and other things." He rubbed his forehead.
"And they're right there. Advil is not working well though."
She rechecked his blood pressure. It had went up slightly so she
got the doctor in there more quickly. He came in with his penlight
and checked, including some gentle pressing. Then he ordered a
CT. Xander would go because otherwise Dawn would poison him.
The doctor also wanted to do blood work and Xander shook his head.
"We need it," the doctor said.
Xander got the initial patient page and pointed at something on it. "It's classified. There's people who want it."
He read the remark of 'had illnesses while in Africa'. Then he stared at him. "Many?"
"At least a few and I ran into a blood hunter."
"Oh, dear. Could they be causing this?" Xander shrugged. "Can we test that?"
"Only if you can do it in a way that guarantees no one can see it, even
by magical means. I've been avoiding that for a long time."
"We can do the general health checkups instead," he decided. "Let
me think on that other issue while we do the CT." Xander nodded he
could accept that. "Why did you come to me?"
"A friend suggested you. He's a SEAL."
"That's a good reason." He smiled and let the boy go schedule his
CT. It was strange but he had seen others who had caught very bad
things while on assignment.
Steve smiled as he walked into the doctor's office. "Hey."
"Steve. You sent me Mr. Harris," he realized.
"I did because I got sent a nice letter." He handed it over.
"We don't need to know more than a list. A very quiet list.
We have a way to do it so not even the magical terrorists he found can
"There are?" the doctor demanded.
"Six groups, who all want him."
"That lab is shielded. We asked Dawn how to do that. Dawn's
like his little sister. She did not want anyone to do the testing
but she's sure that you probably need it and the president would like
that part of his file updated."
"I can understand why and with what we've seen I need to look
anyway." He considered it. "Should we draw the blood there?"
"Yes. I can have him come in tonight."
"That's fine, I can do that right after dinner?"
"Sure." He texted that to Xander. "He said he'll be there
since Dawn said she had it covered. He's not the only one.
We're doing a few others' testing the same way. He's our test
"Good. I'll see you tonight." Steve nodded and left.
Xander walked into the lab. "Are we *sure*?" he asked. "I don't want to go into further hiding."
"You won't," Steve assured him. "He's also drawing something for
the DNA testing to see if maybe the headaches are related to the mermaid
taint. The Coast Guard found one off the coast."
"They're migrating to somewhere under Molokai."
"Good to know. That's not in the book."
"I didn't write the book, just carried it out." He sat down where
he was pointed to and let the doctor suck off a few vials of
blood. "How long?"
"I'll bring it over at breakfast," Steve said. Xander nodded and
left, going home. The lab techs got things started and Steve
stayed to watch it run. The machines were totally shielded and had
no external access for a hacker to get into. It didn't keep
results either. It was actually a very old machine. The
other three they were using as a check got faster results but didn't
read anything. The ancient one read a ton of stuff.
Steve allowed them to move to another machine that was also
shielded. That one found the same as the ancient machine so they
checked the new one. They had removed the database of what things
were when they had disabled the external function. The DNA coding
was going well too.
Steve got the results around two. For the first time in a long
time he wanted to start shouting 'fuck' repeatedly at the top of his
Steve bundled up the copy of the results and the DNA scan for the president. He wasn't going to be happy either.
Steve knocked and walked in the next morning. "Hey, Dawn. Feeling better?"
"Slightly," she said, sounding stuffed up. "Apparently I'm
allergic to some of the flowers next door." She took her allergy
pill. "Xander's in bed. Is it bad?"
"Yeah. It's bad. I handed the president's personal guard his
copy on my way here. It's sealed so he can't read it
either." He went upstairs, knocking on Xander's door.
"Xander?" He heard the grunt so walked in. "Part of the
headache is the mermaid taint. Where they're migrating right now
they're putting out calling signals. I asked the Coast Guard to
see if they could find anything like sonar or bat calling waves."
Xander grunted and nodded, sitting up. "That'll end in a few
weeks. The rest is probably stress and he's given you something
for your blood pressure in case it helps." He handed over that
"You don't look happy."
"I feel like the morning after I read your files," he admitted. Xander smirked. "You missed a few."
"Crap." He took the reports to look at, staring at them. "How in the hell did I get that?"
"I do not know. The doctor also ran an HIV screen, which came out negative."
"It'd better have been negative since I've never been exposed and I donate plasma for the dengue antibodies."
"No more of that," Steve said. He sat down on the foot of the bed,
pointing. "That is probably what you had in China that you
ignored. A lot of muscle aches if you're not fully infected."
"Sounds about right. What's this one?" he asked with a point.
"You apparently are immune to rabies." Xander gave him an odd
look. "That's a wild animal rabies antibody. It's a
different strain than what we have over here. You may have eaten
something with it in Africa, not totally sure. Apparently the
mermaid taint kept you from getting sick. The doc said that you're
getting three of the anti-rabies shots anyway in case this current
stress might kick it up or if it was something that got held down by a
protection Willow did. You start those later." Xander
slumped but nodded. "Those two," he said with a point. "We
have no idea why you read as having had radiation sickness."
"That's what he was thinking, he's not totally sure. So you've got
two new pills waiting on you there that he wants you on for a month to
see if he can finish calming that part down. This last one you
didn't know about," he said with a point. "He knows you were in
Africa. He's hoping you got a native strain and not a weaponized
Xander looked. "When did I get ebola?"
"I don't know. It's possible that you got a tiny bit exposed and
made antibodies. Ebola is naturally carried in some plant spores
over there. That's where it started. If so, feel very lucky
you didn't get sick from it. It's possible that the mermaid taint
fought against that too. I know you said it makes you immune to
some poisons." Xander nodded, folding the papers up. "So now
that we know and the president will have it later tonight; you've got a
month of medicines and then you should be okay. And hopefully by
then the mermaids will be gone."
"Maybe, I'm not sure why they're migrating," he said quietly. "We made sure?"
"Dawn charmed the paper."
Xander relaxed and nodded. "I guess I can go get the really painful shots."
"It's only a few days of shots," Steve offered.
"That's good. No hospitalization?"
"No. He can do them in the office." Xander nodded. "Then we'll redo the tests to see if anything calmed down."
"I hope so. How did I get ebola?" he muttered, considering that.
"Any villages that had an outbreak?"
"No. Not that I'm aware of. Maybe someone exposed me on
purpose? A few of the villages where slayers were didn't
really like me showing up to train their daughters."
"Could be," Steve admitted. "We'll see." Xander nodded,
handing the papers back. "Take a cab over. He's expecting you at
"I can do that. Thank you."
"Welcome." He got up. "Come eat. You'll be nauseous
later." Xander nodded, getting up and following him down the
stairs. Steve tucked the results into his pocket. He'd be
hiding them later in case they were ever needed. You never knew if
someone would end up in the hospital, especially if they did heroically
dumb things like him and Xander.
The president took the envelope from his guard, nodding his thanks at
him. He checked, it was still sealed. The sticker seal was
still there and whole. The interior seal was still whole.
The glued edge was still down. It didn't look tampered with.
He used his letter opener to slit down the top and read the
results. He called in the person who would need to update the
records and his personal physician, who was his brother-in-law.
They both showed up quickly because they knew they'd be called in
tonight. The president handed over the result pages. The
look on their faces was almost comical if it wasn't something so
"Do you think he'd let us put in something that would let him kill himself if he's ever captured?" the doctor asked.
"For him, that's called dating," the higher intelligence person
muttered. The president snorted but nodded. "Damn it."
"I'm guessing the boy was right to hide it," the president said. "I'm not sure if he knew about all those."
"Who else knows?" the intelligence official asked.
"The doctor that ran the tests is one that some special forces people go
to." He cleared his throat. "He's in Hawaii."
The intelligence person thought. "That one SEAL is out there."
"McGarret is very good friends with him," the president said. "I
sent him the order to get that run. That's the other reason I sent
Harris at his cousin. Because I knew that there'd be some
protective people who could help them."
"That's good," the doctor said. "Is there anything we know he can
do to make sure it doesn't happen? I'm scared of him being alive
and it getting out."
The president held up a hand with a smile then showed him a picture. "That's him."
"That's that Council guy," he said flatly. "With the kids. Oh, damn."
"Basically. Harris hid this for years from everyone," the
intelligence guy said with a smile. "When someone found out, he
handled it quickly and efficiently. Then Rosenburg opened her
"The Rangers said that magic spike we all felt earlier was her but it
got stopped somehow and sent back to the hellmouths," the president said
quietly. He sighed and nodded. "We have no idea on anything
"Good enough. That young witch they have?"
"Rosenburg nearly killed her. Dawn has ethics, doesn't want or
need more power, and is frankly another sort of problem because she's
only minimally trained it so she doesn't aura flash or whatever she
said. I'm told that there's a story behind that within the
Sunnydale history but that she'd never succumb to a magic
addiction. She doesn't rely on her magic for anything except her
own safety and huge things. She'd never rebel and dabble in black
magic like Rupert used to when he was younger. She's actually a
fairly smart and sensible young woman. Who is finishing her
recovery out there. Her sister would like her to take a year of
school out there to make sure she's fully healthy again."
"That might be good with the protections we've heard are on out
there. Are there other similarly protected spots?" his
"Two. One in Montana somewhere and one somewhere in Florida.
No idea who set them up since the ones in Hawaii are based on centuries
of religious sacrifices and offerings."
"I didn't think our natives were like the Aztec," his brother-in-law quipped.
"Harris managed to find a new version of them operating in Mexico by
nearly being sacrificed," the intelligence person said dryly.
"There's more than one type of sacrifice. It could've been
self-sacrifice instead. Some of Hawaii's were I'm sure."
That got a nod from the president. "Admittedly, only glanced at a
book on that subject. Speaking of gods, have we heard anything
about the Beldane holdings?"
The president nodded and pointed at the papers. "Rupert asked if I
could intercede and make whoever ended up with them burn her
journals. He thinks Xander will."
"Harris doesn't need to do chaos magic, he's already chaotic enough,"
his intelligence person said dryly. "He's probably keeping them
from Cleveland." The president nodded. "Called?"
"Earlier. One of the hunters that was going after Rosenburg is bringing them to him."
"I won't worry about them being in Harris' hands," his intelligence
person said. "I know he won't use magic unless it's absolutely
necessary to save us all. I doubt his boys can either.
Though, I saw that movie and if anyone could, it'd be Jensen and we'd
all be geek'd to death." The president smirked at that
announcement. "Worse than the geek trio in Sunnydale would
have." He folded the papers up again. "I'm going to clarify
his file as 'multiple blood issues' and leave it there but put these
into the Vault." The president nodded.
"Are we sure he won't put in something to stop his heart if he's captured?" his brother-in-law asked.
"Harris has been captured many times before," the intelligence guy said,
staying honest. "Sometimes as part of a plan, sometimes
not. He tends to ruin them. Then he never tells the Council
people because they'd complain he's normal again. Frankly, the
kid's good at getting himself out of things and with who's around him
right now we'll handle it. If he does get taken again, I'm going
to make sure that there's people who are going to solve that issue and
take them out of possible." That got a nod and the doctor
relaxed. "Beyond that, I worry more about people taking sneaky
samples, like at the lab, instead of kidnaping Xander. They know
he'll destroy them one way or another."
"Most of the ones who want to take him now want to date him," the president said.
His intelligence guy nodded. "I really do have to see if any of my
present or former agents would like to date him. I'm not sure if
it's a bad thing if they're interested in him, because it means that
they're dangerous, or if it's a good thing and it'd make the boy more
secure." The president snickered, shaking his head.
"I know. I asked the head of the CIA if he knew of anyone who'd
like to be the boys' stepparent. He said if they did they were
hiding it very well because he'd fire them as soon as he heard."
"Probably," he agreed. He stood up. "Let me arrange
that. Have a better night, Mr. President." He left the
family members to talk.
The president smiled. "If it was anyone other than Harris or one
of my special forces people, I'd have them instantly put into protective
custody. At the very least witness protection." His brother
nodded. "Harris is a special case in many ways though."
"That's good to know. Need something for your stomach?"
"Please. Dealing with the Council is always touchy and with what happened, they're really upset with an upcoming battle."
"Charming." He wrote out the prescription and handed it
over. "Come over for dinner this weekend, Bob." He left.
The president sent his guards out to get that filled for him while he
went up to hug his wife. It had been a pretty long day.
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