CODA: Profiles.

1 walked into his early interview for his profiling internship.  "Sir," he said, nodding at the agent in charge.  "You guys wanted me to report early?"

"We have a rush of serial killers and needed someone who could do the paperwork," he said dryly.  He walked him toward the conference room.  "Remember, please, that we've seen more than you have so listen more than give opinions."

Xander looked at them laughed.  "Dude, I dated two of those and the one on the board, my twin dated last month," he said dryly.  "I'm a profiler candidate because it makes it easier to find my twin or myself when we're being courted by one of them."  Everyone in the room stared at him, his senior internship director gaped.  He grinned and wiggled his fingers.  "By the way, Brenda, the one on the board behind the skinny guy, is black, she's five-eight, she's a bit chunky but not too heavy, she's got big tits that she hates but shows off, and she tends to lure the guys by pretending to be helpless.  My twin nearly got snagged by her for changing her tire on campus one night when she had stabbed it.  Of course, with the way our luck runs, he realized it and left her with the impression that we are the better predator but we're amused by her.  She's been sending a letter about once a week."

"How in the hell," the lead agent asked quietly.

Xander shrugged.  "It's always been dangerous women who liked me.  A few dangerous guys."  He grinned.  "So, paperwork?  Worse than my ballistics internship at NCIS?"

"You're one of those twins?" the geeky guy asked, staring at him in awe.  "There's death threats on you."

"Yeah, some rogue NID with a conspiracy plot.  A few Mossad agents who hated us for finding them out since they were spying.   A few other piddling shit that most likely Brenda or someone will take out on us."  He grinned.  "And one really cool one that sent us hamburger that was kinda suspicious so we're having Abby run the tests right now for us.  Just in case."  He grinned.

They all blinked at him and the computer tech raised her hand.  "Will it make me a bad girl if I say you're cute but scary?"

He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.  "Of course not.  Only if you want to sleep with me or own me, dear Penelope.  Abby said hi by the way and thank you for your help last week."  He grinned.  "So, paperwork?"

"I want those letters," the agent in charge ordered.  "Today."

"I'd have to head home and it's about thirty away."  He stared at him.  "Want to come with?"

"Please," he decided.  He walked out with him.  "How many others?"

"We don't date that often.  Truly date.  Now and then we get play in a club or something.  Some wannabe predators try.  I think between the two of us we've had seventeen total?  But four of those were in Africa when we were over there training some people.  We turned the nice gun runners in."

The lead agent sighed.  "Do you have anything else I should know about?" he asked as they came off the elevator in the garage.

Xander turned to look at him, walking backward.  "The Director at NCIS is a raving bitch who's rabid to get into the sealed files that our names are on.  No one will tell her anything so she's foaming more than usual about that.  My twin and I own a gun and artillery design firm jointly."  He grinned.  "That's why we're ballistics interns."  The lead agent sighed.  "What did you want to know about us?"  He turned and turned off his alarm, looking at his car.  "Stay," he ordered firmly.  "The trunk wasn't open when I got out."

The lead agent called security over while Xander looked at it.  "Awww, my fetish friend is back.  You might know him.  He likes to turn people into copies of fetish figurine carvings."  He looked around.  "No bomb that I can see this time.  Guys, get me some gloves so I can pick this up please?  I am a CSI intern."  They got him some gloves and a bag.  "There we go," he said, handing it to the lead agent.  "He followed me back from Africa, but he usually lives in New York.  He's very particular about who he chooses to transform."

"I'll debrief you about that later," he said, handing the bag off. "To the BAU please."  They nodded and rechecked the car before letting them into it.  "This is nice."

"We decided on these after the rogue NID idiots decided to blow up our last one."

The lead agent sighed, staring at him.  "Why would NID be after you?"

"They hated a special ops group that we found some stolen weapons from, and gave them back after only glancing them over.  Plus, we're good.  And the NID hates my friends and me anyway."  He pulled out of his parking spot.  His radio came on and he looked at the station.  "Huh, not what I had it set on."  He hit the eject button and looked at the CD that popped out.  "There's evidence bags in the glove box."  He got them out and carefully bagged the CD.  "I'll figure the meaning of that one out later.  Usually he leaves me clues about who he's doing."

"Have you turned him in?"

"I got told there's no evidence, there's no way I could know that, and if he was pleasing me, they wanted to know why so I backed a detective into a corner and made him whimper.  They decided I'm more dangerous than the serial killer guy and they can't be sure it's the same guy with the way he's doing things.  I sent up all my notes to the local office of you guys up there, and got back a nice form letter.  So he's now on victim seven."

"Hmm.  That won't go with me," he  said.  He checked the inside of the car.  "Anything else out of place?"

Xander looked around at the next stop light.  "Snake.  Pretty African dangerous snake."  He grabbed it and hung it out the window by its throat until it died then handed it back over.  "Watch your feet, they usually travel in pairs.  I don't know how this one got all the way from the Sahara...."  He whistled at the tune on the radio.  The other snake finally came over his shoulder and he grabbed it in a move the agent didn't catch, slamming its head on the dashboard to kill it then handed it over.  "They like music," he said dryly.  He turned and headed toward the apartment.  "Call Len," he ordered.  His on-board phone/GPS/everything that spoiled him system did so.  "Len, 1."

"Yes, sir," he said through the speaker.

"I'm doing my profiler internship thingy today.  They wanted to know about the past dates file.  Can I have you deliver a copy of it to the BAU please?"

"Both of yours, sir?"

"Yeah, especially anything from fetish guy.  He's apparently got a new victim.  I got a fetish, a CD, and two snakes this time."

"Hmm, you said last time it was only a fetish and a CD.  I can pull that out of the security files for you, Xander."

"Thanks, Len.  I'm heading home then back there."

"Yes, sir.  Thank you."

"Nope, thank you.  Let us know if there's problems."

"Of course.  2 is with Abby?"

"Class for another ten then there, yeah.  Why?"

"That doctor with the glasses and the colonel is back."

"We won't be back until tonight.  What did they want to see?"

"The plans for the UAV and other things."

"Um....  I'd rather they waited," he said.

"I told them that and they've agreed it's fine.  They're getting a burger and playing in a museum nearby."

"That's fine.  Tell 2 when he gets out."

"Yes, sir."  He hung up.

Xander hung up on his end with a touch of the button.  "Our company's security guy."  He saw another snake and grabbed it, throwing it at the window.  It didn't die, just got really pissed off.  So he grabbed it again and killed it by smooshing.  Then he handed it over.  "Triplets, all right."  He looked at his phone, finding a contact and plugging it into the system.  "Detective Flack please?"

"Who may I say is calling."

"Xander Harris.  Tell him the fetish guy is back and has triplets, who are probably African."

"Please hold."  Music came on for a minute.

"How do you know this?" he asked dryly.

"Gee, the fetish carving in my trunk and the three matching African snakes in my car?" he asked dryly.

"We still have no idea if it's the same guy, kid."

"Please!  I met the guy.  I slept with the guy.  Yeah, it's the same guy."

"If you're sure."

"To lend weight, I'm a profiling candidate and a csi candidate, how's that?"

"That may help.  I'll gather all the stuff together and run it past our head CSI, how's that?"

"Would that be the hardass with the tight ass and the blue eyes?"

"Um, I won't answer that but maybe."

"I am bi, dude, and he's cute, but old.  Very daddy vibes off him.  Though he does know me.  He avoided me in a club like I was the biggest predator in the room.  Well, my twin.  If he forgot us, mention eye patch, brown eye, shaggy hair, just back from Africa."

"I can do that.  You sure?"

"This is Special Agent Hotchner.  He's giving us the information on him.  We can forward anything to you that you might need if you think you can handle the case."

"Please," he agreed.  "Let me take this to my main CSI.  Is this your phone, kid?"

"Yup.  We can fax that or whatever later."

"Sure, I'd like that.  Thanks."  He hung up and muttered all the way to his desk to get that file.  Something about that kid wasn't right but hey, he seemed to know serial killers.  If he was one taking them out, good!

Xander hung up, looking at him.  "Maybe, just maybe, they can stop him this time."

"That's always a hope.  You don't think we can?"

"You guys called me in early for *paperwork*?" he asked dryly.

"Good point," he sighed.  "The local office should have."

"The local office was full of people who were concerned about if their skirts were the proper height to be sensual, but tough."  He pulled into his parking lot, seeing a police car.  "I wonder."  He parked and got out.  "Gentlemen," he called, walking over.  "Is there a problem?"

"Sir, do you live here?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm in apartment 23."

He checked.  "Do you know your neighbor in 15?"

"Not real well.  She kept to herself a lot.  Now and then we heard depressing music from the elevator.  I think I saw her carrying packages."

"Sir, that's a male."

"No, he was a trannie," Xander corrected. "Going to female.  It was kinda obvious since one time we saw him he was pretty femme looking and the next time he had tits."

"Oh!  Okay."  He made note of that.  "Are you off duty, sir?"

"No, getting him files."

"That's fine, sir.  Go ahead since you won't be in our way."

"Sixteen works at Quantico," Xander said.  "I think.  And his wife works in an engineering firm.  12, below her, is usually home, just lost her job, seventeen and eighteen both work off-country most of the time I think.  I think they're military personnel in the Navy on a ship I believe."

He beamed and made notes.  "Thank you, sir."

"Is our doorman not helpful?"

"No, he is.  He's just with them."

"Ah."  He walked inside, glancing back from the doorway.  "Why would the doorman be inside?" he asked once they got into the elevator.  He got off.  "Stay," he ordered.

"I'm the full agent," he complained, pulling his gun.

"I'm badder bitch on this planet, Agent Hotchner.  Stay."  He walked toward his open door and looked around.  "Good morning," he called softly.  Someone came at him and he kicked them backward, out the window that was open.  The others came out at his scream.  Xander hit his panic button and nothing happened so he hit his personal one.  That got something happening.  "Stop anyone that leaves.  They were in our office," he called.  He got two more before Willow and the girls got there.  Then all hell broke loose and they were not happy.  Xander panted when one got him on the side but he kicked him and knocked him into the couch, sending him flipping over it.  The guy groaned from the floor after breaking the coffee table with his shoulder.  "Good!  'Cause I've now had enough," he said bluntly, staring at one the girls had captured.  "Who the fuck are you, why the fuck are you here, and is that cop outside one of you?"  He sneered.  Xander glared and let the inner predator come out.  "Who the fuck are you?" he demanded more coldly.  The man flinched, trying to look away.

Willow compelled him to speak then went to check on the cop Xander had mentioned.  "No cop car, no body that flew without wings," she reported as she came back in.

Agent Hotchner was interrogating.  He did it very well.  What he heard was making him sick.

Xander looked at Willow, then at Buffy.  "So," he said bluntly.

"Can't you just buy them and end them?" Buffy asked.

"Government agency.  No.  Pity."

"Very."  She let the idiot go and helped round up the others.  She patted them down.

"Don't touch the computer, Willow, it has a security setting."  She nodded, going to look.  He smirked.  "You do realize that all our plans that we keep at the office or here have flaws?"  They groaned.  "It's a security measure and the only people that get the right ones are the ones who buy them.  Or us."  The colonel walked in.  "Why did I figure you guys were involved?"

"They're after our project," he reminded him.  "Len told us you had hit your panic button?"

"Yeah, NID weenies," Buffy said with a point at them.  "Military?" she asked.

"We checked," Xander said firmly.  "They're a good project that does it like we used to."  She nodded and relaxed some.  "Even Miller's in awe."

"I guess that's fine."  She looked at Xander.  "You need to clean."

"We're bachelors and they threw shit around."

"There's dust.  Mom would be way pissed."

"Your mom saw us not dusting in the past," he assured her patiently.  "We're guys, we need a maid service."  She nodded at that, helping the colonel and agent round them up.

The colonel smiled at the agent.  "Our general will want them eventually but you guys can hold them securely for us if you might."

"We can do that.  Xander, that file?"  He went up to get it.

Buffy stared at him.  "Agent for what reason?"

"Xander's doing a profiling internship with them," Willow said, looking in the fridge.  "There's not one vegetable."

"Touch our snack food, watch me turn you into one," Xander warned.

"You can't do that," she said, looking smug.  He put something on the counter beside her, staring at her.  She flinched and shrank back.  "Ooh, okay," she said, sneaking around him to hide behind Buffy.

Xander put it back into his pocket and went back to gathering things from the opened safe.  "Why did you guys want stuff on the guy who thought he was the reincarnation of Rasputin?" he asked.

"You did?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," Xander said dryly.  "We are bi."

"Oh.  So bad and evil boys too?" she asked.

He looked at her.  "Don't comment since your present one was one of mine for a few days."

"Oh, shit," she muttered.  "He's so dumped then."

"I told you he was bad and you didn't listen," Willow chided.  "Now you know why he was bad.  He slept with Xander."

"I think that's a sign, not a condition of going bad," the agent said firmly.  She shrank back again.  Xander came out with a large stack and went back for a few more then to his bedroom and back down.  "All of them?"

"I'm missing a letter and I don't know where it is."  He went to look for it in the mess of papers.  "Here we are.  Tossed around."  He handed it over, staring at them.  "Well?"  The bad agents all stared at him.  "I can take those shaman herbs again and get back in touch with my primal nature."  They shrank back and one handed that file over.  "Anything else you have?"  They handed that over too.  Two small key stick drives.  "Good!  Thank you.  Of course we'll be doing a full system scan to make sure you didn't swallow anything."  More agents ran in.  "Guys," he said.  "These two are military, this is my BAU profiling internship director, these three are friends who came to help me out with their stupid asses.  We know one went flying out the window when I kicked him, we know that they had a cop downstairs talking about the person in apartment 15 being dead, and our doorman is missing."

"We can search for them," one agreed, going to do that.

"Who, Harris?" the lead agent asked.

He held one up, making him whimper.  "Tell him."

"Trust," he gasped.  "Please, God!  Save us!"

"Hell no," he sneered.  Xander beamed and handed him over.  "Thanks.  Anything else we should know about?"

"Fetish guy is back but we've talked to this guy and the New York guys so they both know," he said.  "We came back to get my psycho ex files."  Willow snickered.  He looked at her.  "You were dating what?"

"Oops."  She, Buffy, and the other slayer ran out and disappeared from the hallway.

"Thank you," Xander called at the ceiling.  "For the timely help."  He looked at the agents again.

"We ignore Cleveland stuff, Harris."  He looked around.  "You not touch anything?"

"No, I touched, he interrogated."

"Decent, let us handle that while you get him back to safety.  Our geeks are too valuable to risk."

Xander looked over as someone else came in.  "Inspector."  His skin was itching.  "You're different."

"I'm heading this."

Xander looked at the colonel.  "You know, we had some lovely snakes in the car from the fetish guy.  African ones."  He stiffened and nodded at that.  "Want us to bring the nice Doctor with us?"

"Please."  He was left there with them and called for backup for the kid.  The agents gave him wary looks but oh well.  Teal'c showed up and the gou'ald in the room freaked out.  "Yeah, we thought so."  They captured the rest for the general to go over first.  Then they locked the kids' apartment themselves for now.  Jack was happier with them and could easily get the others from the FBI.

Xander looked at his profiling mentor.  "You know, it's not a good day if your life isn't threatened somehow.  Just gets the blood moving," he said dryly.  He got into the car and found a voicemail.  So he called while they drove off.  "Sorry, I was beating some rogue NID agents who had broken into my apartment, Detectives.  What can I do for you?"

"You're that guy with the eyepatch?" the new voice asked.

"His twin.  He lost an eye, I didn't."

"Oh, interesting.  Military service?"

"Emergency in California but protecting the town we were in.  I have my internship director for my profiling degree with me and you're on speaker."

"Wonderful," he agreed.  "There are very small links between them.  How do you know it's one person?"

"Because my twin dated him in Africa."

"Oh.  So you know him by name?"

"I know him by sight," he corrected.  "It was a one-night thing and the guy knows that we're the bigger and badder version of what he is."

"Wonderful.  Is he native to New York?"

"He's living up there now but he was in DC earlier today because he put a fetish carving he usually leaves, a CD, which he left the last time as well, and this time three snakes."

"So you think he's got triplets?"

"Possibly.  They're the same species of African desert snake and they're highly dangerous."

"Are they dead?" the first detective asked.

"Yes," he said patiently.  "I don't like snakes.  Especially not after training people in Africa for ten months."

"Why were you training?" Hotchner asked.

"ICW business."

"Shit," the lead detective said.

"We're reformed, the old ones mostly got blown up.  We're in Cleveland now.   How did you run into us?"

"I remember working the guy up here's case," he said bluntly.

"Barged in, broke a wall sort, used knives?" Xander guessed.  He got an assenting sound.  "They're all gone but that's the same being that took out the main building.  Which is why we rebuilt."

"No more threat?" the first detective asked.

"No.  If they're back, we're all in deep shit.  We fixed it last time though."

"Good to know," the new detective said.  "Okay, so I've seen the notes.  They're very concise."

"Thank you."

"Including a picture you had of him.  I've went back over the scenes and they're not pretty."

"No, they're not."

"Why does he think you're a higher predator?"

"Because I could be if I wanted to be," he said bluntly.  "That's also why I'm a profiling candidate.  Too many of them like us.  I'd date good people if I could but I only get psychos and my twin gets the evil things now."

"Interesting," Hotchner said, going through the files.  "I found his."  He looked it over.  "The profile is a bit scarce."

"I did it two years ago."

"Not bad for beginning training," he admitted.  "With picture so that's negating anything physical."  He read over the rest.  "How much is knowledge?"

"The job stuff is what he said he did but we doubted it.  The reasons, I think it's mystical to him.  My twin thinks it's more fairytale in his mind.  We couldn't decide between the two."

He nodded.  "Not bad overall."

"We have a copy of what he gave the local office," the higher detective told him.  "Can you send us pictures of what he left today and anything on that CD?"

"Of course.  Do you have the last CD?"

"We have a copy of a CD.  I'm not sure if it's the same one or not."

"Check and see if it has _Closer_ by NIN and Static X.  I can't fault his taste in music, I like that song."

"I've heard others on the case load identifying with it too," Hotchner admitted.  "It's a music CD?"

"Yes, it's basically his mood as he hunts, captures, creates, then shows off his beautiful new fetish.  As far as we could tell."

"Good to know.  This one started out country music."

"He knows I like country when I'm upset.  I can go over it later if you want."

"Please.  We can send the copy with that analysis up to them," Hotchner agreed.  "When does he usually send it to you?"

"When he's got them.  After stalking and acquiring."

"So possibly still alive," the first detective he talked to said.

"I'm hoping so," Xander agreed.

"Okay, we'll look that over and get those tonight, Agent Hotchner?"

"I can manage that by courier."

"Thank you.  The both of you."  They hung up.

Xander grinned.  "Let's hope it's a better day from here on out."

"Let's hope for no more attacks," he agreed.

"Dude, I design guns and artillery.  They are *so* messing with the wrong Obi Wan."

Hotchner smiled.  "Good to know."  They pulled in finally and he got out, taking the boy back up there.  "They in custody?"

"In a room waiting," the tall, dark, handsome black man said.  "Who are they?"

"They decided they wanted what was mine too," Xander quipped.  "And some of the psycho ex files."  He shrugged.  "Some military guys will want them since they're with the same guys that blew up my car."

"I heard about that," he admitted.  "Abby gave us a rundown."

"Is 2 there?"

"Yes, he is.  She said he's safely there and protected.  Gibbs is growling," Penelope said with a smile.

"Wonderful."  He kissed her on the cheek and handed over something.  "Because you deserve it."

"Ooh, what is it?"

"I bought it at a foreign bazaar.  It's supposed to be able to turn your enemies into pets."  He smirked and walked off while she giggled.  He walked in after Hotchner, putting the dead snakes on the table and sorting out this particular serial killer's stuff from the rest.  Hotchner nodded.  "This way we keep them separate."

"Any others you've heard from?"

"I'd like to know why they wanted to talk to the guy that thought he was Rasputin reborn," he offered.  The geeky guy choked.  He shrugged.  "My ex, not my twin's."  That got weeded out then they got the rest for the others on the case load.  That helped a lot.  They sat down and Xander went over that CD, making any notes he felt were warranted.  Hotchner checked it over his shoulder.  That and the snakes all got sent to New York in a courier bag that would be there later this afternoon.   Xander did what he needed to to help them and then went back to his internship at NCIS for the day.  It was safer for now.  Gibbs growled at anyone who got near them or Tony.

Hotchner looked at his team.  "What do we know about Harris?"

"He's dangerous and could be one of ours," the geeky guy said.  "Parents are both on disability for addictions, work under the table if at all.  They're full ride on the system.  One uncle, now deceased in the supposed earthquake that took down their town out there."  He coughed, looking at Penelope.  "She found video of it."  She shuddered.  "School records mention he's a terrible student unless it's a hands on class.  Lots and lots of disciplinary actions."

"One about every few days but to be honest there were complaints filed against that principal and he did give the boy detentions for things like a sloppy shirt that wasn't buttoned and untied shoes," she said, passing over that file.

Hotchner read it over, nodding.  "He's looking like a good start to our caseload.  Why isn't he?"

"Sometime in tenth grade, something changed," Reed said.  "I don't know what, but his grades slipped a bit more than usual.  The principal started to note another girls' records in with his and his friend Willow's."

"Met her earlier.  And Buffy.  I'm guessing she's the only one in that school with that name."

"In that system of their age, yes," Penelope agreed.  "As a side note, she nearly got expelled for supposedly killing a robot by their town's records.  That charge was later dropped.  She was put under suspicion of killing someone in the library but that was dropped because she had been across town, and she did a small stint as a run-away.  Then she came back and the Napoleon-like principal expelled her finally after years of trying but she got taken back a bit later on.  She graduated on time, somehow, with a fairly low GPA as well.  Their friend Willow was an over achiever and got all A's."

Reed coughed.  "Whatever happened when Summers showed up, it changed him.  The insults to his intelligence and fashion sense that got him detentions changed to more dangerous things.  Cutting more classes.  Being on school property later."

"She didn't seem like the sort to do property destruction.  She showed up, somehow, in fashionable shoes and clothes with a cute hairdo."  He looked around.  "I did hear and acronym ICW?"

Penelope stiffened.  "The British version?" she asked.  "There's all sorts of paranoid sites out there about them."

"He mentioned Cleveland."

"Yeah, that's them," she sighed.  "That's bad.  But that's what happened then.  He ...  Crap."  She got into the video file again and found him.  "With a sword," she said.  They watched it and shuddered as everything happened.  They watched them flee and the town start to sink behind them.  "He went protection."

"He went protective," Reed corrected.  "But why do other predators see him as a higher one?"

"Because he hunts the predators," Derek Morgan said, with a point.  "Those clearly aren't normal people."

"The blonde in the lead is Summers.  The redhead is Rosenburg," Hotchner said quietly.  "He's interning under Abby, Penelope."

"I've already asked and she told me whatever I wanted to know."  She asked that and got a simple, quietly muttered 'yes' back.  She nodded.  "He is."

Hotchner nodded.  "So he's a predator hunter and somehow it managed to turn sexual for him?"

"No, from some online reports about him, on those same paranoid sites," Penelope said, handing over another file.  "He was like that before then.  Substitute teacher who killed the regular and was going after virgins.  Foreign exchange student that killed some wanted to be his.  This was back when Summers barely got there."

He looked it over, then shook his head.  "What makes a kid like this seem like such a victim when he's not?"

Reed shrugged.  "A really good facade."

"Which he probably put up due to his childhood," Derek said.  "It got him out of trouble at home and got him noticed at school when he needed help to handle things.  Did they not have CPS out there?"

"Nope," she said.  "There are no CPS casefiles with the town of Sunnydale in their system."

"Charming," Hotchner said.  He put down the files.  "Okay, so he's one of us really and not one of them.  That's good to know."

"He just dates them.  They're attracted to the facade and the hint of 'you can't have me, I've won against others," Reed said.  "He's the ultimate challenge and then he bests them so they respect him.  This way, he gets to keep hunting predators without it being so dangerous to him."

"It would be," he agreed.  "Because ...  How many has he turned in from the clubs?"

Penelope did a search on that and hummed.  "None but he's provided over sixty tips on local predators to the PD unit that handles the clubs by their college."  She smiled.  "They're well known I think."

He nodded.  "Good.  Now, this NID mess?"

"Rogue NID," she corrected.  "I got that from Abby personally and did some more searching in areas she couldn't due to their mandates."  She handed that over.  "Gibbs is in a snit of epic proportions."

"How does he know weapons?" Reed asked.

"The local PD out there, which admittedly was craptastic," she told him.  "Had him listed on a few suspected weapons trafficking charges.  Those were later found in a building that had been owned by the mayor that got blown up during their graduation.  Which is a locked file no matter where I look," she told them.  "That whole graduation file.  Not ours, which would be usual.  Or ATF, since it was an explosion."  They all stared at her.  She smiled and put it up there.  "Locked by a special ops program that is now defunct and eaten by Homeland."

Hotchner nodded once.  "So it was bad?"


"Is that locked like the time loop they had in LA a few years back?" Reed asked.

"Yes, by the same people."  She smirked.  "I'm sensing another conspiracy."

"Probably," he agreed.  "Might not be important though.  How bad was their PD?"

"Fifty percent death rates when combined with missing persons and suicides the year he was in ninth grade."  They all moaned at that high of a number.

"There are some countries having civil wars that don't have numbers that high," Derek Morgan complained.

"Which the old mayor tried to blame on Miss Summers and her friends but the next year, it went down to thirty-one percent.  The year they graduated it was at seventeen before graduation.  Twenty afterward."  She looked at them and smirked.  "So whatever they did, it was helping and the police were dirty."

Hotchner nodded.  "Any of them working for us?"

"Three.  Two went to Homeland and the rest retired in shame," she quipped with a beaming smile.  "The three working for us have all been fired for being dirty and two of them are in jail for it."  They all smirked at that.  "As a side note, someone tried to stop me finding this lovely information out but Rosenburg is out of practice as a hacker.  She had been on our list."

"Joy," Hotchner said flatly.  "She get in our way?"

"No, tried to restrict things to the public profile and couldn't."  She shrugged.  "Nothing too bad."

"Even better."

"As a profiler, he'll be one of the better ones because he has a deeper understanding of them," Reed offered.  "We look at them like we would abstract art, picking out the spots in the picture to make something that we understand.  He'd be an artist in a similar genre that would be able to look at the whole and see what the artist meant."

Morgan nodded.  "Which might be scary."

"He's also a ballistics intern, guys.  Him and his twin," Penelope said with a smirk.

"They jointly own a weapons design company, that does not surprise me," Hotchner told her.

"A few nights ago, that thing on the tv that they said was a hoax?  That was him."

"I figured it was," he sighed.  "Anyone else checking on that logged film?"

She looked.  "An Agent Booth, on detached with the Jeffersonian."  She smirked.

"I know him," he said with a hand wave.  "She was probably looking at it over his shoulder a few times for the oddity of the creature."  He looked around.  "We got things done at least."  They all smiled.  "Send things wherever.  I'm going to be going over this ex that appears to still be around that thinks he's Rasputin."

Reed shuddered.  "With his record?  That can't be a good thing."

"He's persistent if the boy hasn't shoved him off yet," Derek said.  "What was on that CD?"

"Music.  He wasn't as happy with this kill according to what he and I heard.  Like he missed what he really wanted or needed."

They all nodded and left it there.  The locals had that one for now.  Until they tossed it back asking for help, they could watch it from afar.


Xander walked into the apartment that night, finding it neat, clean, and organized.  "Faith was here," he told his twin since he was behind him and carrying the food.

"Cool.  Thanks, Faith," he called.  She came out of the bathroom wiping her hands off.  "Bad day at classes?"

"Rage at the stupid weenies," she corrected.

"Buffy, Willow, and Sandra showed up but left again," Xander told her, handing her a carton of food.  She beamed and they sat down to eat.  Someone knocked a bit later and Faith got up to let Tony and Miller in.  "Huh, team meeting," he said dryly.  "We got extra."

"Thanks," Graham said, sitting down and getting a carton.  He handed Tony some and some chopsticks, getting a grin back as he sat down.  "What designs were they in?"

"Some of the lighter artillery and energy weapon stuff," 1 said, taking another bite.  "And the boyfriend files."

"You turned them all over to the new BAU internship people?" Tony asked before opening his carton.

"Of course.  The fetish guy got turned back in to New York too."

"Why are all our security guys named Len?" Tony asked.  "And they kinda look the same."

"They're all the same species and they're like that," 2 said with a grin.  "Very protective though.  They consider us part of the nest."

Tony nodded.  "Not a bad idea.  Which boyfriend in particular?"

"Rasputin."  He ate a bite and frowned at his twin.  "That was your freaky shit."

"Freaky shit is I slept with Buffy's present boyfriend.  Willow went on a 'I told you so' glee fit before they disappeared."  He ate another bite.  2 shook his head quickly.  "Anyway, it looked like they were into the lower end stuff.  The higher end stuff never comes home with us and they didn't get into the main safe either."  Graham relaxed and nodded.  "Neither did I after checking it.  He never asked if we kept tester models but I have heard that they did a pretty good background that Willow couldn't block.  Apparently Garcia is better than most everyone but Abby and maybe McGee."  He slurped up some noodles.  "Oh, saw Angel too."  Faith moaned, giving him a look.  "You heard he got a reward?"

"Yeah, and B sobbed for weeks."

"He didn't look too bad.  In the sunlight.  Lurking at Quantico for a bit earlier.  Sent me a text message to meet him Saturday if I could."

"Tell him I said hi."

"I can do that."  He smiled.  "How bad was class?"

"It was frustration since a few of them decided to try to raid the campus and I almost outed myself."

"These guys, very much stupid," 2 noted.

1 nodded.  "Yeah, they are.  Any idea where we can help there?"

"The military guys asked that you stay out of it," Miller ordered.  "Though they still want to go browse in the vault anyway."

Xander nodded.  "I might let them later.  Let me eat first."

1 grinned.  "I've got a date."

"Have we done a check to see what sort of psycho this one is?"

"It's one of Willow's coven that just moved into the area," he said dryly.  "So she'll babble about her training and things."  They all nodded at that.  "Also, on the schedule, I have one day a week at BAU.  So I have to rearrange things and maybe, just maybe, drop my humanities class."

"Pity that she got arrested today for trying to stab me, because us being twins made you inferior for her plans so I had to go," 2 said dryly.

"So no class?"

"I don't know, call and check," he offered.

Xander nodded he'd do that in the morning before he had class.  "Think I can get out of physics the same way?"

"No, he's a nice old fart," Faith reminded him.  "He just wants to spank you because you're a bad boy."

Xander smirked.  "Of course I am."  She threw a noodle at him but he caught it.  He grinned at the two slightly outsiders.  "Anything else we have to be aware of before the date?"

"What did you give Garcia?" Graham asked.

"My little pet making statue."

"If she gets that to work, some people are going to freak," Tony decided.

Xander smirked. "If she does, I'll introduce her to some people."  He shrugged and got back to his dinner.  He had to shower, change, and then go out tonight.  Even though she was probably a lesbian and liked cats.  Most of her coven were lesbians and loved cats.  He wasn't really sure why though.


2 walked into the building.  "Hi, guys."

"Does your security guy never change?" the colonel asked quietly.

"Yeah, they change out ever four hours," he said with a smirk. "They're handy that way.  Len, any problems?"

"Nope, Xander.  Are they decent sorts?"

"Yeah, from what we saw they are."

"Wonderful.  That doctor guy is trying to figure out the lock on the vault.  He's being frustrated."

"It's cool.  He's a physicist.  We're supposed to warp their minds."  He winked and strolled off with the colonel.  "Everyone else go home for the night?"

"They did," he agreed.  "You have a good staff, but one."

Xander smirked.  "Miller or Seshi?"

"Seshi.  Did you now she was an industrial spy?"

"Yeah but she sucks at what she does.  We blatantly put a nugget of that metal in front of her and no one could figure out how we did it."  He shrugged and walked into that work area, opening the regular handpad and keypad, both of which also took a magical resonance as well as the more mundane things.  The door slid open and the second door took another one so it opened.  He grinned at the stunned and fuming doctor.  "What?  You never saw biometrics before?"

"That is not a normal handpad."

"No, it's not," he agreed.  "It was a bit of custom work."

"It does not take normal readings.  I scanned it."

Xander shrugged.  "No comment, Doctor Zelenka."  He smirked evilly.  "We can't give away security secrets like that."  He got into the last doorway and let him go browse some more.  He was scanning and comparing to what they had.  Nothing that he was using would give them plans.  The vault was shielded that way magically.  Their real files were in there as well.

"Some of this should only be in military hands," the colonel said, running a hand over something.

Xander looked.  "That one went to a design and manufacturing firm that has Navy contracts.  We only sell to those on the DOD safe list, guys."  They smiled.  His twin stomped in.  "Bad date?"

"Rasputin showed up.  She froze him and I made sure she got home safely.  He's going to be a problem for days."

"Can we catch him this time?"

"The real Rasputin?" Zelenka asked, staring at them in horrified awe.

"No, he just thinks he's his reincarnation," 2 admitted.  "He loves 1 for some reason."

"Thinks I'll be his princess and he's very stubborn."  He walked off shaking his head.  "I'm going to take range time."

"Sure.  I'll make sure the cars have good emergency packs in them," he agreed.  He went to check those and repack them with fresh guns, ammo, and knives, plus a pair of handcuffs, a few zip ties, and a few other things they might need.  Then he upped the hunting kits.  Of course, he'd have to leave them the days he went to the BAU, but they had something different there, he had overprotective geeks who apparently saw him as the second coming of Satan's mistress.  They'd love to see how he did it.

The colonel and the doctor both shook their heads.  This was outside of their grasp but they were going to be getting plans if they could help it.  They had a list and pretty pictures to give to the general.  They could ask them to demonstrate anything of the list and then they'd decide to buy the plans.  Which would suit them just fine because that meant they could customize to their specific needs.  Especially that energy cell.  They really wanted that energy cell.


Xander slid into a booth the next Saturday, staring at the man across from him.  "I heard you got the reward of the century," he said quietly.  "New beginning?"

"From the beginning of life," he agreed.  "It had it's bad moments but not like before."  He sipped his coffee.  "Why are you in DC?"

"Giles sent us to go to college."

"So you're working with the BAU on a new girlfriend?" he guessed.

"No, we're both CSI interns and I'm also a profiling intern," he said with a smirk.

Seeley Booth, formerly known as Angel, shook his head.  "Must make it easier then."

"Yup, pretty muchly."  He got his own soda with a grin for the waitress and some pie when his former cohort ordered some too.  He inhaled the first piece and moaned, making the waitress blush.  "This is really good."

"We come here a lot for dinner and pie," he admitted.  "So, how long have you been in town?"

"Two years and a bit.  Faith said hi by the way.  She's with us at school.  We're not going to bust you," he said quietly.  "That past is gone."

"Thanks.  I doubt anyone but Hodgins would understand," he said dryly.   "CSI?  I never would've expected."

"Ballistics.  It goes well with the artillery design company."

Seeley stared at him.  "You're SI?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Damn."

"We have tons of fun in the lab and testing stuff we build.  Faith's going into advertising."

He considered it.  "She would know how to push products," he agreed quietly.  "How is she?"

"She's good.  Back to normal Faithisms, but steadier, more healthy.  Now and then she gets frustrated and cleans on us.  Willow tried to turn all our food into vegetables again so we yelled."  He snorted into his coffee, taking another sip and shaking his head.  "I gave Garcia my little pet making stone recently too."

He stared at him.  "I've heard about her.  She might be able to make it work."  Xander smirked.  "So, why else are you local?"

"Just that."

"No idea I was here?"

"No clue, didn't look, didn't really care," he said bluntly.  "You got freed of the duty.  I figured if you needed us for something, you'd call."

"Probably but it'd bust my past," he admitted.  He ate a bite of pie and Xander watched outside.  He stared.  "That is my partner.  She had no need for anything but blunt," he said dryly.  "Like Anya only without the sex and money talk."

"Cool."  He grinned.  "So, I heard you got into that short fight's video."

"Yup, and saw that they were doing a background on you too."

"Yeah, I started my profiler internship a bit early to help them with a case overload.  Turns out the other of us dated one of them, I knew two others, turned in one to New York that they had been ignoring, with his help, and then helped clean up the rogue NID problem.  Were you told...."

"Yeah, I heard through the Hodgins Grapevine of Conspiracy," he admitted.  "Special Ops group?" he asked quietly.

"They're good.  They do what we would.  We checked."


"We knew the DOD wouldn't trust two guys with no seeming military or weapons experience who started a weapons design firm.  We knew they'd put a plant in.  We accepted the obvious one we can kinda trust.  He's gained it but he also had to hook back up with Riley to save a missing squad."

"I heard you hired more."

"An XO from NCIS."  He smirked.  "He got all the corporate spies we knew about and were yanking along out."  He nodded politely at the woman who stopped beside their seat.  "Hi.  Did you come to meet my magnificence?"

"She's not like your usual psychos," Seeley said dryly.  "Temperance, this is Xander.  I knew him when he was younger.  I saw him in town so we're catching up."

"You were handling that purple thing that night," she said.  "You blew it up."

"Yes I did, because it was eating people."

She stared.  "Most people would deny that."

Xander smirked.  "I'm not most people.  Hell, my current ex is stalking me because he thinks he used to be Rasputin in a past life."  She walked off shaking her head.

"I hated Rasputin," Seeley admitted quietly.  "Talk about an ass.  But Dru liked him.  Too bad she's dead, you could point him at her."

Xander leaned closer.  "Who do you think sent him at *me*?" he asked quietly.

"We made sure the last time."

"No, you hoped like hell and saw the remains of a dress.  We spotted her in Brazil again last year."

"Crap.  Keep her out of DC?"

"Spike's back and he's moping about her.  He's keeping track of all that for Buffy."

"Good!"  He got more coffee and finished his pie.  "It's really good pie here."

Xander grinned.  "It is great pie here."  He stared at him.  "It's cool."

"Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome.  If you need it, yell."

"You'd let me bum?"

"I trust you not to totally ruin anything," he said dryly.  "You, maybe the new profilers I'm working with, Tony can ask.  That special ops group is asking for plans for some too.  Pretty nice paycheck from that soon."  Seeley moaned.  He grinned.  "Stay safe from the wannabe weenies with the snake worshiping sect."

"I heard that too," he sighed.  "Anything in the old area?"

"No.   Not in the least.  Psycho scientists and militant corporate people who want to control everything by committee."

He nodded.  "If I hear, I'll pass it on."

"Cool."  He wrote his address on the napkin.  "That's the apartment.  You know where the company is until we move it."

"Moving it after you're done interning?"

"After we do our year-long post grad.  Then we'll move it.  The head ATF guy suggested Denver.  Said there's a bunch of guys on a team out there who're a lot like us.  Slightly crazy when they do the heroically stupid things as he put it."

Seeley laughed.  "Yeah, that kinda does fit, kid."  He smirked.  "How's Connor?"

"Haven't seem him in a while but the last time I saw him, the younger girls had sucked him into a movie night and were using him as a pillow, which made him grumble but he got the popcorn bowl to hold."  Seeley smiled at that.  "He's okay.  The girls are good to him.  Gunn's pretty cool with most of them.  Illyria too.  Buffy and she talked a lot about the afterlife.  So she's settled down again.  Though, she's dating one of my ex's.  Willow went onto a gloat fest of 'I knew he was a baddie' when she found that out after the weenies tried to invade."

"That sounds like her.  Is she better?"


"She should be in England again?"

"She's under enough control but she's an addict to that problem," he said quietly.  "Like any other, it's a struggle.  Though, she and Kennedy broke up."  Seeley smirked at that.  He knew that one wasn't going to last.  "Then again, we're here because the girls went on a normal person kick again.  Giles stuck up for it too."

"That sucks," he agreed.  "After all that...."

"Yeah, well, it's not too bad.  We did good with the company.  We make really nice paychecks. We're fighting an evil director who tried to sex up 2 for info and drugged him with too much truth serum; thankfully we're immune."  He smirked at that.  "She wants in the sealed files *so* badly."

"I'll take that as a warning of a possible visit.  I've got a young son now."

"Congrats.  Last time you got to miss all the nastiness."

"This time, I did a lot of it," he agreed with a slight grin.  "It's painful being divorced but...."

"Less painful than before?"

"Yeah, a lot less painful than before.  I wouldn't trade it."  He looked at him.  "Can you, um, not tell anyone?"

"I won't bust you."

"Except to Connor?"

"If you want me to, I'll slip him a letter later on."

"Please."  He handed one over from his pocket.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Be happy, you don't have to deal with the next one."

"Yeah, I'm very happy about that.  Now all I have are murderers."

"Eh, I will some day too," he said dryly, cracking him up.  He put down money and winked.  "Call us if you need us, Seeley.  You know that."

"I do.  Thanks, kid."  Xander walked off, putting the envelope into his pocket.  He looked up as Temperance slid into the still-warm seat.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome.  How did you know him?"

"I met him back in high school.  His high school."

"He seems decent enough, if a bit flirty."

"Now and then, the kid's not bad.  Other times, he's like Ares when you get near him.   From the tv show," he explained.

"I saw Zach watching that," she admitted.  "It stretched the myths out of shape and made the characters a lot less homicidal yet less likeable."

"In some ways.  Yeah."  He smiled and finished that cup of coffee, putting down money.  "So.  New case?"

"No, I heard you had a meeting today and I wanted to make sure you had backup.  Isn't that what partners do?"

"It is," he agreed.  "But I need to talk to Hodgins.  There's some conspiracy idiots who want the kid and I want to make sure they're not coming my way."

"He's at the lab."

He got up and she got up, taking him back to the lab.  He ran his ID to get in, letting her go be subtly out of the way.  "Hodgins."

"We have a new case?" he asked hopefully. "I'm cataloging old samples for entomology that they could've done years ago."

"No, I need some quiet watching of some paranoid sites."  He sat down beside his work area.  "Someone I know from when he was in high school is being bothered by some conspiracy nuts and he wanted to make sure they wouldn't come near me or Parker."

"Interesting.  Who's this person?"

He sighed.  "The new profiler intern at the BAU."

"Harris?"  He grimaced.  "I don't understand that guy.  He dates psychos from what I've heard."

"They're unnaturally attracted to him and regular people aren't.  So he's taking it to protect himself and his twin."

"Twins?  Interesting."  He switched to his laptop, looking at him.  "What's this conspiracy?"

He winced, glancing around then at him.  "Rogue NID members calling themselves the Trust," he said quietly.  "They blew up his car, raided his apartment trying to get weapons designs and some files off them."

He stared at him.  "You're joking, right?"

"No, they also own a weapons design firm," he sighed.

"They're the owners of SI?"  Seeley nodded. "No way!"  Seeley nodded again, starting to look impatient.  "How in the hell did you meet them since your history doesn't go anywhere near California?"

"It's a long damn story and I can't tell you," he said with a grimace.  "I know you'll want to know but I can't."

"Which means you can relate back to the ICW conspiracy," he said bluntly.

"A few times, yeah.  Why?" he asked cautiously.

"That's cool."  Seeley grimaced and shook his head.  "No, like seriously cool."

"No, it was more life threatening than cool."

"Huh."  He got into the sites he hovered in, nodding.  "Yeah, they have you on their radar.  Who is Angel?"

"Someone who the twins and their team worked with, he looked like my brother," he said.  He showed him a picture.  "Not a great one," he admitted since he was in game face.  "He worked with them."

He went back to it.  "I actually managed to snag a copy of the LA riot," he said bluntly, staring at him.

Seeley grimaced.  "I can't."

"I know."  He patted him on the hand.  "It's nice you're warm."

"I'm not the same guy I was then."

"So mystical bullshit too?" he asked quietly.

"From on higher ground," he said bluntly.  "All the way back."

"Wow."  He went back to it.  "Okay, I've diverted their attention to you, pointing them at a monastery after pointing out that you weren't the same, just an offspring of the line," he said bluntly, giving him another dirty look.  "And that you're special ops trained yourself so going after you was stupid since they never involved you."  He shut it down and looked at him.  "So, how?"

"I can't tell."

"Will it rebound if you do?"

"No, it's a long damn story and I don't want to remember," he said bluntly, standing up.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  No one should ever have the NID take interest in them or their kid.  Those idiots are scary and evil."

"And then some."  He walked off happier.  He came back.  "Don't talk about it?"

"At all," he promised.  "Though I do know that someone on another team in the BAU gave all the profilers Harris as an assignment."  He smirked.  "Sweets is mumbling about why the kid wasn't a serial killer."

"He's a hunter.  It's a bit necessary."  He walked off again to talk to him.  He tapped on his door then walked in, staring at him.  "Erase the Harris file," he said, closing the door.

"Why?  It's a fascinating look at someone who's a future serial killer."

"He's not.  I know the kid.  Psychos love to date him but they all find out he's the higher predator."

"He's a killer who hunts them?"

"No.  He's now a profiler candidate."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "They accepted him with this sort of personality flaw?"

"He doesn't actually.  He's a nice, goofy kid with a self-esteem problem sometimes, mostly due to his friends deciding he's too normal after helping them for years."

He stared at him.  "He's not military but you're talking like he was in a team situation."

"He was."

"But he's not military."

"No."  He got into some statistics for him.  "See that jump down?  That was the team he worked on handling things that their cops didn't."

He stared.  "How did they not get shut down by the state?"

"The old mayor had everyone dirty who could be dirty."

"Oh."  He looked up at him.  "So they were part of a vigilante squad?"

"Something like that.  Protection patrol to help the other teenagers and the like mostly.  Some minor hunting down of things that needed to be handled and the city wasn't."

"I see."  He stared at him.  "We're going into Hodgins land."

"Yes we are," he agreed.  "But it's important to the kid's safety, and mine and my son's now since they decided I'm someone else, to stop this."


Seeley sighed and got into another file he had on his computer at home.  "This is Angel.  Who worked with that team.  Notice the resemblance?"

He watched then looked at him.  "He....  Evil twin?" he guessed lightly.

"No.  Relative but no."

"Okay."  He reran it then looked at him.  "That's very strange."

"He's like that.  The whole team is like that.  It's led by a fashionable dyed-blonde girl who wore skirts and heels on patrols."

"Oh.  It was effective apparently."

Seeley got into another site and showed him the real statistics that they put out.  "Ya think?"

"People died by barbeque fork.  Interesting.  Apparently wild animals roamed the streets, barbeque implements attacked, and PCP was fed to everyone?"

"So they said."

"They're gone now, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, the whole town got closed due to an earthquake."

Sweets stared.  "That was another really bad coverup lie on the all time worst list."

"Yup, but I can't tell you what happened.  I wasn't there."

"Oh."  He watched the video again.  "So, this Harris kid...."

"And his twin."

"There's only one live birth listed."

"His parents treated them like one boy.  They were drunk too."

"I saw that."  He stared at him.  "They're not dangerous?"

"No.  Not unless you force them into it."

"So they're like Dexter?"

"No, he doesn't kill unless it's hurting someone else.  He's a hunter."

"And we're back in Hodgins and fairytale land," he sighed.

Seeley smirked.  "The world is wider than you think, Sweets.  Really.  Some of the things I saw on missions would make you doubt God."

"So these other beings just like him?"

"Yeah, for some reason they all think he's the ultimate prize.  Then Xander makes them sorry.  Thereby becoming the bigger predator."

"Which they must hate."

"His first two were serial killers.  His third one was a cheerleader."

"Eww.  Poor guy."  He turned off the files.  "So he's not dangerous."

"No.  Not unless you make him be."

"What's he doing now beyond profiling classes?"

"CSI classes and a design company."

"Houses?  Interiors?"


"Figures."  He shook his head.  "The higher ups want a good look at the kid."

"And the head of the FBI is going to hate that," he said bluntly.  "The kid has sealed files."

"Oh, shit," he muttered.  "He's twenty-three."

"I know that.  He also spent ten months in Africa training some people that needed it."

"Wonderful."  He put his aside.  "She'll roast me if I hand in that."

"So don't hand in anything.  Or hand in something citing a source that knew the kid when he was younger."  He shrugged.  "That'll cover your ass.  Just don't mention me because right now, he is in Hodgins Conspiracy land and it's NID," he said quietly.  "They got me confused with my relative and wanted to go after me and Parker."

"I can do that," he agreed, writing that up.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He left, going back to his own office to sulk.   Sweets sometimes reminded him of a male Willow.  Though if he ever started using magic, he'd spank the kid like the boy he was.


Xander walked up to the guy staring at a playground, handing him a letter.  "Hey."

"Hey," Connor said quietly.  "So, he's happy?"

"He got the full restart."

Connor looked at him.  "Really happy?"

"He said being divorced sucks."

"I can see that."  He looked at the letter then at him.  "From him?"

"Yup.  I told him the last time I had seen you was a movie night."

He snorted, shaking his head.  "Those girls are pouty."

"I know.  Trust me, I know."  Connor smiled and walked off, going to read his letter in private.  If the girls let him.  Xander went back home and it was easier.  2 was on their laptop.  "Anything?"

"The conspiracy person that Seeley knows put out that he was Angel's relative, not him.  That might help him and the kid."

"The girls and Connor are watching him and the kid."

"Even better."  He looked up.  "You okay?"

"Yeah.  He's mostly happy."  He sat down.  "It was good to see him happy enough to just enjoy pie and decent coffee.  Though his partner's like Anya without the sex and money talk."

"Interesting."  He went back to it, hyping that on the other boards they lurked on when mentions of Angel came up.  It was the least they could do.  "The military guys have a wish list."

"Good.  How long is it?"

"At least seven things and the energy cells."

"We haven't released those plans," he sighed.  He considered it.  "As long as it couldn't get out of their hands."

"They have associated projects, including Area 51."

"No, we'd have to make that a condition.  It does not get out of their project.  Them, their side project, no outside scientists."

"I can put that in."  He got back into the contract and added that clause then sent it to Graham to formalize it and Tony to look it over.  An hour later he got back corrections in his grammar, spelling, and word usage from Tony.  "Graham passed it on."  He made those corrections and sent it back, then Tony sent it to them for him.  "That's done."  His twin leaned against his side.  "What?"

"He's got a young son.  He's getting to do all the stuff he couldn't with Connor," he said quietly.  "Playing, all that."

"Including the nasty stuff?"


"Huh.  Well, maybe some day we'll find some less than totally evil wench to share."  He petted him.  1 needed comfort a lot more often than most people and he could do that.  He liked cuddling with his other half.  It was soothing but not too creepy.  Though, they didn't care what anyone said, they liked the way they were together.  So even when it turned into a naked couch cuddle to anime, they were fine with that.  No matter how much people would complain about it.  They were Xanders, they were unique.


The head of the FBI looked at his section director later that night when she was let in.  "Good evening."

"Is there a problem I need to fix in one of my units, sir?"

"Yes, leave Harris alone."  She gaped.  He held up the profiles.  "It does let me know who has no idea what they're doing.  Six of them are going on probation out of thirty.  The rest, were okay enough I suppose, but I wouldn't want to only count on that if it became critical.  Sweets is looking good, over at the Jeffersonian detachment.  He actually found someone who knew the boy and talked to them.  It gave a different viewpoint.  One we knew about because we know of the boys."

She swallowed.  "They're known to the FBI due to a case?"

"They're known to most of the higher ups due to many reasons.  One of which is admittedly a few sealed cases where they showed up at the right moment."  She nodded stiffly.  "Another is because we knew what he was doing out there, before he went to Africa.  I also know why he went to Africa."  He stared at her.  "Leave the boy alone.  He's a very good profiler.  He can pick out traits and relate it back to someone he dated I'm sure."

"That's not healthy.  He'll be a danger to my best people."

He snorted.  "If they were your best people, you'd treat them better," he said bluntly.  "Not be politicking your way into their suits with them."  He stared at her.  "Even if we didn't know, right now is not the right time since there's a conspiracy group trying to remove them from their path to glory.  They blew up their shared sports car at NCIS one day last month."  She shuddered.  "You're putting more ammunition in their hands.  That's why I confiscated all of these.  So we will be leaving the boys alone.  One is a profiler candidate.  They are both ballistics interns.  Then they'll be leaving DC for somewhere else for their post-grad most likely.  They don't want to work for us really.  We'd be uptight and try to claim credit for some work out of their lab."

"I'll let them know that, sir."  She left, going to her office to think and seethe.  Someone in the city knew that boy.  She had to find them.  Her eyes flashed and then went back to normal.  "Someone needs to know," she muttered.


2 walked into the lab that night, finding the scientist there waiting on him.  "Sorry, traffic was horrible."

"I can accept that apology," he said with a smile.  "We did get the contract.  Who did you not want to get them?"

"Anyone not directly in SG hands," he said bluntly.  "We don't give out those designs.  It ensures a steady income when they have to get more from us."

"I can understand that need," he promised.  "I'll talk with our generals later."

"Good."  He walked him into the most secure lab they had.  Nothing electronic worked in here.  Not even machines to help them make things.  He put his bag on the table and opened it, pulling out two containers.  "A contact out of England gave me those."

He stared at the yellowish looking sludge.  "What is it?"

"When released into the air, it will crystalize and be able to be spread on wind or rain."

Doctor Zelenka stared at him.  "Biological weapon?" he asked, glancing around.

"This lab is sealed.  There's no electronics able to be used in here.  And no, not really.  It's a snake bait and killer serum as he put it."

Doctor Zelenka licked his lips.  "Do not be obtuse this time."

"For the pouchy snakes.  The person who created it got attacked by the Trust and he knew he was doomed.  He was a normal geek.  He had been keeping track of things and had some ICW contacts so he sent it and two CD's to me."  He pulled them out and put them on top.  "We got them earlier today."  He stared at him.  "It's pouchy snake be gone."

He nodded, looking scared to touch it.  "That is dangerous.  Could kill the hosts."

"Which is why I don't want it near me."  He waved a hand.  "You guys need that and whatever's on the discs.  He clearly used us as an intermediary."

"This is all of it?"

"No, there's a small vial that's in our fridge," he admitted calmly.  "About two ounces.  It was labeled with a name."  He handed over a picture of it.  "Which is the name that our Rasputin wannabe is using right now."

He sighed.  "This is a horrible thing.  It is dangerous to have."

"Which is why when I saw the note inside, I called you."  He handed that over and the box as well.  "However you get it home, that's up to you, Doctor Zelenka.  I don't rightfully care, but I don't want that sort of risk.  But you guys need it."

"We can use it."  He looked at the boy.  "I need somewhere electronics will work."

"Use the testing range.  It's got cameras we can shut off."

He nodded, putting it back in the box and taking it with him.  Xander turned off all the cameras, including the security one.  No one came so he was clear.  "Apollo, this is Zelenka, I need immediate beaming to Landry's office with O'Neill if you can target him.  The twins gave me something dangerous they were given," he reported.  He and the box disappeared.  He landed in front of the desk and the general came in a minute later with the other one.  He put it down and opened the box, handing over the vials.  "Gou'ald be gone as he told it.  Someone in England made it and the Trust found out, went after him.  He knew enough to send it to the boys."

Jack O'Neill looked it over, nodding.  "It looks like something we've used in the past.  CD's?"

"I did not run it.  He was very clear he did not want the risk.  Though they have a small vial that has a name on it.  Ba'al.  He said the new stalker is using that name while insisting he used to be Rasputin."

"Fuck," Landry muttered.  "So this is a biological weapon against the gou'ald?"

"Can be seeded in clouds so it rains destruction.  He was insistent that I bring it with me.  Gave me an area to beam out.  Also, those energy cells?  Not outside of SG control they said."

He nodded.  "How do they know?"

"That first night, one of them used the passcode of a general that had disappeared.  Apparently he was killing some of his assistants and someone took him out but hid the body.  They somehow ended up with the ID and used it to look the project up," O'Neill told him.  "It was safer considering that the kids' team had taken down a special ops project hat NID was running in the past."

Landry groaned.  "Is he a danger to us?"

O'Neill shook his head.  Radek Zelenka beamed.  "He said we are worthwhile, do things like they would have, and he respects us.  That's why he's willing to sell things to us.  Though he could have probably found out other ways, it would've been slower."

"We're a secret project, Doctor," he complained.  "Weapons designers aren't supposed to know about us."

"They have an 18 for clearance," Jack said.  "We've subtly bought some of their stuff before from a company that manufactured it.  McKay hates it because he said they code oddly."  Radek nodded that was true.  "They do not have formal training though.  Also, they're ICW."  Landry shuddered.  "So yeah, he probably would've heard about us."

"Fine.  I don't like it but fine.  You're in charge and would have to get yelled at."

Jack smirked.  "The kid reminds you of a young me," he admitted.  "Or a younger Sheppard maybe."  He looked at the doctor.  "I want that in safe storage ASAP.  It does not leave this base.  That one vial, we'd like it too.  And his present stalker."

"I can go back and tell him that."

"Good.  Do that."  He patted him on the arm.  "Good job, Radek."

"He was insistent."

"I'm glad he was insistent.  These Trust guys aren't someone to screw with."

"Why would the Trust not want more anti-gou'ald made?" he asked.

"Some may be snaked," he realized.  "Shit."  He considered it.  "I'm going back with you.  Hank, call the IOA, see if they know anything."  Radek called someone in the labs he trusted.  She came up and nodded at them.  "It's a biological weapon against gou'ald," he told her.  "It goes into secure storage, generals orders to release it only."

"Yes, sir."

"Walter, get her people to walk her down there to make sure," he called.  "I want it so locked it can't be moved without us authorizing it."

"We have the special safe on Atlantis," Radek pointed out.

"Yes, we have one here too," Landry agreed.  MP's came in to escort her down so no one would bother her.  "I'll check those CD's myself, Jack."

"Thank you."  He touched his earpiece.  "Apollo, please beam myself and Doctor Zelenka back to his former location."   They did that and he looked at the twins.  "We want your stalker and the other vial," he said in greeting.

"The stalker is in the closet babbling that he's a god," 1 said dryly.  "I told him if he was, he was shit in bed.  Gods were supposed to be better.  Look at Ares."  He held up the vial.  "This I went home to get and came back with."

Jack took it and handed it to Radek then went to get the clone.  Yup, it was a Ba'al implant.  "Apollo, take me and the target back to the base, ending point gateroom."  They disappeared.

Radek beamed at them. "Thank you.  We will be back later to talk about contract.  This was too important to wait."  He got beamed back too and went to put that safely in the storage locker.  He sat down with the two CD's to run them, giving the information to Landry and Jack when they came in.  "Agent lists, chemical formula, all his life's work since he was in danger."

Jack looked.  "He used to be one of us.  Why didn't he call us?"

"Note on first CD said he could not.  Someone rerouted calls."  He looked up.  "We have hidden agents."

"Of course we do," he sighed.  "Have Lam and Teal'c do a check of every single base personnel we have.  From the topside down."  Landry nodded, going to pass on that order.  "Radek, how big is your wish list?"

"Seven things, plus the power cells.  Those are going to be costly."  He pulled up the copy of the contract he had been given by Colonel Mitchell.  Plus the pictures he had included into it.  "We also asked for a chunk of that metal of theirs to test.  A big enough one.  They agreed and settled a lower price for it.  They seem to have lowballed their prices this time."

He looked it over, nodding.  "That's not as bad as most places would be.  They could be asking for millions."

"They like us."

"They do.  Or they don't know what it's worth."

"Also could be.  Only know black market value with their pasts."

"Hmm."  He mentally counted up the pricetag and nodded.  "That's not a bad price overall.  Usually we'd spend three times that."

"We can up it," he offered.

"No, don't.  Budgets are about to be cut again."  He nodded at that.  "Okay, I like it.  If Landry does, we'll take them."  He went to show it to him.  He also got his scan done first while he read it.  That way he could get back to DC.  He would compare the plans to the tester models to make sure they were the right ones and no one had switched them on the boys.  He liked them.  They were nice, goofy geeks that he could enjoy being friends with.  That didn't happen often these days.


Sixteen days later, Radek was beamed down to Atlantis' main control area.  He looked at his boss and friend.  "Colonel, Rodney, we have presents."

"Presents?" John Sheppard asked, coming down to look.  "What sort of presents?"

"We found new supplier of designs.  The ones who code wires funny," he told Rodney, who grimaced.  "We have special metal from them.  We have new energy cells from them."  That perked him up.  "We have new weapons designs from them."

"Oh, so sweet," John said.  He followed them to look over the new toys.  He loved new toys.  "Their stuff always worked, right?"

"Except for the time Rodney rewired something with less wires and it nearly exploded," he agreed.  "I like the goofy boys.  They are nice twins."

"Twins?" Rodney asked.

"Twins," he agreed.  "Colonel Mitchell went with us.  They handed over something that been taken off the project.  They handed over Kavanagh, who had been put in as Area 51 spy."

"I like the sound of them," John decided.  They settled in a lab to look over the new energy cells.  Rodney could understand the plans, of course, and could make bigger ones he hoped. "Energy weapons run on those?"

"Yes.  They are rechargeable but do last for a good long time.  They quipped about decade before needing plugged in."

"It's not far off what we do with naquadah," Rodney admitted.  "Which means we can maybe shrink those to be a lesser power source for some needs and maybe expand this into our generators to make them last longer."  He looked at the other plans.  "That's a big gun."

"Yes, it is."  He showed him the testing demos they had done.

"Cam had fun," John quipped.

"Much fun."  They kept going and it was good toys.  Even if the metal was going to drive Rodney nuts.  They had the production notes and the formula they used, which wasn't in technical speak at all.  It was in smithing language.  But they could use it.  He hoped.  It did look promising though.


Xander 1 looked around the profiling office as he came in for his day there.  "Hey, Garcia?" he asked, leaning into the office.  "What did they want me to do today?"

"They're in Richmond."

"Oh, dealing with Morgan Petrie.  Cool.  Want me to file or something for you?"

"I'm good.  How did you know his name?"

"He and my twin got funky in a club and Xander made him beg."  He walked off to straighten out the meeting area first and handle those things.  He stared, head tipped slightly at the case on the board.  "It's nice they were profiling me," he decided.  He grimaced and moved to the other board, which he stared at.  "Hey, Garcia, is this a pack situation or just a two killer thing?" he called.

She came out to look over his shoulder.  "Huh?"

He pointed.  "You can't be the same person unless you absorbed a misformed twin before birth and that's usually the same blood type.  That's two different blood types that they think were left by the killers."

She stared.  "Huh."  She went to mention that and Hotchner was heard slapping himself on the forehead.  Score one for the new kid.  Xander came in to watch her.  "I'm not that mystical."

"Yes you are," he said dryly.  "I'm also avoiding the higher up that just called the meeting area.  If I can't hear the phone, I can't go deal with her."

Garcia looked at him.  "She's been poking into the group, Xander.  Be very careful with her."

"I'm very charming," he said with a grin.  "But I don't like politics.  I think it was nice she assigned all the profilers in the city to do mine."

She groaned.  "You saw that, huh?"  She turned back around to get back to searching.

"Yup.  It was nice that from what I heard only a few decided I was overwhelmingly dangerous this time."

"Well, you do have a lot of traits," she admitted.  "The bad childhood stuff, all that.  Plus, you know, the gun stuff."

He shrugged.  "I have other ways of getting socially unacceptable feelings out.  Including target practice.  Last week it was Gibbs' picture because he growled at Abby for trying to explain something he needed to hear."

"I've heard he's like that," she admitted.  "How competent are you on computers?"

"Kinda.  Enough to find stuff."

She looked at him.  "Rate yourself as a hacker," she said, staring him down.

"2's better.  I can find things on bulletin boards, sites, that sort of thing.  He can mildly hack."

"Okay."  She turned back around, getting into the flashing screen.  "Higher up alert.  You ignored her too hard."

"Crap," he muttered.  "So, this system can do a quicker records search than the usual ones CSI use?"

"Each department pretty well uses their own version of one of four systems available," she instructed.  She knew what he was doing but he needed to know anyway.  "Since we're the FBI we created our own."  She finished searching and sent it on, turning to look at him.  "Now, the main one you'll see in *most* labs is a slightly customized version of this one, but it's a lesser version usually.  It takes it longer to search, doesn't go into as many databases, all that."

"So, if I did a driver's license search, I know the one at the school, we go into the special database application and search."

"Yeah, that's the second most popular version," she agreed.  "It's not *bad* but it's hindered by how many databases it can access.  Which will partially depend on the department's tech skills, but also it'll depend on how many they signed up for.  For cross-state matters, they're screwed.  They can't usually get ones out of their own state."

"I know the teacher mentioned she had done health insurance clearing house searches?"

"That searches a listing of older claims.  Basically all over five years old.  Which doctors submitted those records.  Some of them will give you patient names because you'll be PD then."  The higher up cleared her throat.  "Teaching him the various search engines, ma'am."

"I heard.  That's good that he wants to learn that."

Xander scratched his arm.  "Ma'am, are you feeling all right?  You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine," she assured him.  "I think we should talk, young man.  It's not often this prime team takes on an intern."

"Sure," he said, patting Garcia on the arm.  "Tell 2 that I might be late to lunch?" he asked quietly.  She nodded at that.  He followed her out and up to her office.  He kicked the door shut and smiled.  "Ma'am, I don't want to be involved in anything political before you say anything.  I don't want to play games or anything else."

"I wasn't going to suggest you should, young man.  Who said I would want to?"

He stared at her.  "A lot of people warned me that our internship might be seen as favorable to that agency or department with the company."

"I see.  And you don't like that?"

"No, I don't.  I never have really.  Either of us.  That's why we hired an XO to help with that situation."  He stared at her.  He knew what she was now.  Fucking pouchy snakes.   Why did they want him?  He stared at her since she was staring.  "Did I do something wrong since you asked all the city's profilers to do one on me?"

"You heard about that exercise?"

"Yes, I did.  I heard it was nice a few got the right answer."

"So, tell me about yourself."

Xander shrugged.  "What do you want to know about?"

"You didn't do good in school."

"No, I didn't.  I do better in hands-on things.  My CSI training is excellent in that field.  I get to touch and do more than I get lectured at.  My profiling one is more research oriented, which is something I can excel at as long as I'm not bored."

"Good."  She crossed her feet, still looking him over.  "Have other directors tried to use that company of yours to gain your affiliation?"

He snorted.  "You haven't heard the Director at NCIS was foaming at the mouth our first month?"

"Yes, I did hear a rumor that she was feeling...thwarted," she admitted calmly.

Xander stared at her.  "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Why would you ask?"

"Because me calling an ambulance for you would probably look strange and I don't really want to do any more interviews with higher ups this week."  He smirked just a tiny bit.  "I have a test next week that I have to study for.  People annoying me for interviews will cut into that time."

"That is a good point," she agreed.  She smiled.  "I feel better than usual," she assured him.

"Is that what made your eyes glow a minute ago?"  She gasped.  He stared.  "Now, ma'am, is there anything else?  I really do need to learn those things from Garcia."

"I don't think you'll be staying, young man," she said, standing up.  "I can have you arrested for that creature."

"Unfortunately I'm covered there," he said, pulling out his Council ID.  She gasped.  He stared back.  "Sometimes shit's gotta happen, ma'am.  Now, I would suggest, as being partially medically trained, that you should get that eye glowing checked out.  Pouchy snakes can't be good for one's body with the way I heard they take over."  Her eyes glowed and he stared back, then he snapped a picture.  He checked the readout, nodding.  "Nice picture of her," he said with a smirk.  He looked back up, showing off the picture.  "Someone made it for the Council to find possessed people."

"No one will believe you."

"I think the right people will," he countered.  "So go ahead and make your proposition so I can get on with my day," he said calmly.  "That way you can pout later on."

"We want you out of our way, young man," she said, walking around her desk.

"Um... no.  Sorry.  Though we won't be in DC for much longer."  He walked off, sending that to Seeley so he'd know and be warned.  She was kinda his boss too.  He went back down to Garcia's office.  "Come on."  She gave him a look.  He held up the picture.  "Since I know you're part of the same paranoid sites that we've been having to lurk on recently."

"Shit," she muttered.  "No, not you guys.  The head lady just tried to get Xander and he's being all protective."

"Yup and we need to go now," he ordered.  "Before she decides to attack."  She gave over the information and went to lunch with him.  He sighed once they got outside.  "We know you know," he said quietly.

"Yeah, kinda.  I was asked to look them up to help Abby."  She looked around.  Then at him.  "I saw plenty of your past, Xander.  How are there two of you?" she asked quietly.

"A big, huge ass hammer," he muttered, cracking her up.  "Literally."  He opened her car door for her and walked around to the other side.   "I'll even buy."

She snorted. "I can buy lunch, sweetie."  She started the car and Xander got out, grabbing his knife out of his pocket as he popped the hood.  "Oh, don't tell me," she moaned.

"Yup," he called.  He cut the wires and whistled loudly.  "YO, SECURITY!  BOMB ON PREMISES!"  People came running.  "I disarmed," he said, getting out of their way.  "Garcia?"  She got out and let them check the car for her.  She was shaky so he rubbed her upper back, calming her down.  He looked down at her.  "I think someone's pissy."

"I think so too," she said.  "I have to tell them."

"No, let them check the office and things first," he ordered.  She looked at him.  "That way they get the full report.  Then they know to rush back or not."

"I'm the analyst for the BAU," she reported.  She pulled out her ID.  "Please check there?"  They called it in and walked her up there.  The young man got a long look.  "He's our intern."

"Xander Harris, CSI intern and profiling intern," he said, shaking one of their hands.

"Sir, we've seen you before," one said.

"Yeah, the higher ups don't like the DOD safe list for weapons design companies."  He grimaced.  "They got me and my twin mixed up, even though he's got an eyepatch."  They walked in and he walked around the higher up.  "Ma'am," he said in greeting.  He stayed with Garcia.  It was safer for both of them.  They found a few more remote devices and one in the computer lab.  It was not a happy moment.  Xander stared.  "I was just in there, guys.  We would've seen that sitting down, right?"

"Possibly," the girl that disarmed it said.  She looked at him.  "You know bombs since I heard you disarmed the other one?"

"Slightly.  I'm actually a weapons designer so I have to know some."

"That's a good reason," she decided.  "Navy?  I've seen you at the Shipyards."

"Ballistics intern as well, both of us."  She nodded at that.  "We were just in here."

She looked around, handing it to the CSI waiting.  "The strip was still very tacky."

The CSI looked then at Xander.  She held it up.  "How new?  Since you're an intern."

He took the bag, pressing overtop of it.  "That tape dries to a firm hold in about thirty minutes unless heat from pressure is applied.  Then it dries fully within a ten minute window."  He handed it back.  "That's nowhere near dried, ma'am."

She smiled.  "Good job," she praised quietly, walking off.  "Guards, I want the security footage.  Garcia, Harris, I want a report of movements."  They followed her since she was protecting them.  She got the report on the cameras and nearly laughed.  She walked back in.  "They did a very bad job pretending to be your brother."

He looked at the photo.  "Ask Riley Finn, in Homeland, who that is.  It's one of his people, ma'am."  He handed it back.

"How would you know, Harris?"

He pulled out his original ID then grinned at her.  "I knew him when he was military."  She glared.  "We helped bring them down."

"You're from...."  He held up his ID and his Council ID.  "Good to know."  She smirked.  "You have a very good protector, Garcia."

"I need to call my boys, I mean my team."

"I have them waiting on line 2."  She picked up the phone.  "Hotchner?"  She put him on speaker.  "Here you go.  She's fine."

"Garcia?  What happened?" he ordered.

"They tried to bomb the office and my car," she said quickly.  "Xander disarmed the bomb in my car when he was removing me for my safety because the higher up was being evil to him."

Xander cleared his throat.  "The bombs were put in after we left most likely," he said quietly.

"It was," the head CSI agreed.  "Are you staying in DC after you graduate?"

"No idea yet," he admitted.  "That's up to my slightly less evil twin."

She smirked.  "I'll talk to him later then.  Hotchner, she's fine.  We're putting guards on her tonight.  We've told Harris's twin, which made him swear for a good ten minutes no matter what Miss Scuito did to calm him down or how much Gibbs growled.  They have good security."

"She can come to the office with us later," Xander promised.  "We like Garcia."

"Good."  She smiled.  "Would that work since you guys won't be back until tomorrow at the earliest?" she asked the phone.

"That would be most acceptable.  Who did it?"

"They tried very hard to make it look like the other Harris, but it was a fairly laughable job.  The hair's wrong, the clothes are too coordinated, and he's wearing boots instead of sneakers.  The eyepatch is on the wrong side as well."  She looked at them.  "So I'm going to turn her over to him and set someone on the company.  Got it?"

"That's agreeable," he said.  "We're not planning on coming out tonight and I'm sure we can call someone to pick us up food."

"That'd work," Hotchner agreed.  "Thank you, Xander."

"I'll be damned if someone's going to hurt someone like her.  She's not a soldier and she's supposed to be a non-combatant.  Whoever did this, clearly on my shit list," he said bluntly.  "So find them so I get to kick their ass."  She let out a small laugh.  He smiled at her.  "You can hide in Tony's office if you want.  He's got a couch.  We still haven't extended our bug jammer that way."

"Please.  I'm a bit shaky."

"We'll be back tomorrow," Hotchner said.  "Harris, I'm putting her safety in your hands.  If something happens to her, you're not going to live to regret it for long."

"Yes, sir."

"Keep me informed please, Agent Silon."

"Of course.  Let me get them there."

Xander pulled out his phone.  "Me.  Do we have a ride?"  He nodded.  "Cool beans."  He hung up.  "Tony's swinging by to take us to the office."

"Even better.  We can follow."  She hung up and walked them down there, waiting on DiNozzo.  When he pulled up she made sure the car was fine before letting them in.  She watched them pull off before going back up to her office.


Aaron Hotchner hung up and thought about throwing his phone.  Usually he put forward a cold, calm, impenetrable front.  Right now, he was ready to kill.  Spenser looked up and carefully moved closer.  "The people on that conspiracy crap that went after Harris tried to get Garcia," he said quietly and calmly.  "Harris has her safely at their office."

"How did they come after her?" he asked.

"They put a bomb on her car and a few in the office."

"Oh, shit."  If there was ever a time for swearing, this was a good one.

"Yeah.  A few were very new when they found them.  Harris had been jumped by the blonde demon above us.  He came down, took her to lunch, found the bomb, then the guards found the bombs in our office."  He looked at him.  "They have it until we can get back."

"I have an idea who it might be," Spenser offered.

"Good.  Let's hear it."  He walked over to the table.  "Let me tell Derek.  He'll go insane."

"I'll be ducking."

"That's fine.  Start a profile on this group?"

"Gladly.  Though she said it's hovering around a lot of freakish occult sites too."

"I'd expect that since Abby helped them find it first."  Derek walked in.  "Let's walk," he said, taking him back outside to let him know.  That way the locals wouldn't see him throwing a temper tantrum.  It'd ruin their image.

Derek took it calmer than he thought.  He called her and threatened Xander first then made sure she was fine.  He got calmed down by her babbling at him so he would be okay until they could catch this unsub and get home.


2 looked up as someone walked in, blinking at the stranger.  "Yes, does Abby know you?" he asked, looking like he wanted to reach for a weapon.

"No, but I know you, Harris."  He made sure the door shut behind him.  "I work with Seeley Booth, he said to introduce myself that way."


"My name is Hodgins."

"I've seen you when I was tracing the assholes."

"I did some better tracing."  The boy grinned at that.  "Including who went after your improbable twin earlier."

"Yeah, that's about pissing everyone off right now," he admitted.  "Who did you find?"

"I found some very strange groups."

"Depends on which one I can tell you about."  He put down his laptop to show him.  "These guys, they're good," he said, looking at him.  "We fully respect them."

"Okay.  Good good or just basic good."

"Like my former group's job good."

"Okay," he said calmly.  "Same reason?"

"No and I don't know the details."

"Good to know," he said, moving on.  "We see people associating with the oddest people because of this.  Senior FBI officials who're older and crabby mixing with people in Homeland that are former military and discredited."

"Under lifelong contract," he muttered, getting a smirk back.  "They are.  Industrialists.  Some NID and former NID people."

"Exactly."  He let him see that chart, making the boy beam at him.  "What was in her?" he asked quietly.

"No idea what their proper name is but it's something that's taking over her mind.  I'm not sure how in the hell you'd cure it or if it'd hurt her if removed," he said, glancing around.

"I put in our own bug jammer."

"Thanks.  This director, a bit paranoid.  Is she?"

"Not that I've seen.  Just nosy for other reasons."

"Yeah, I've seen.  I have no idea what we did to get their attention.  Rescuing and handing back shouldn't have."

"Ah.  He thought you might be wondering."  He got into another file.  "You tripped over some of them in Africa, young man."  He smirked and let him see it.

"That fucking idiot," he muttered.  "New York's felony lab needs to know that.  He's a serial guy we turned in to them again.  A fetish carver."

"I saw that mention.   We sent them some info on the guy as a help.  Booth said so."  Xander relaxed at that.  "African snakes?"

"Yeah, three."

"How did you kill them?"

"I grabbed them before they bit and smashed their heads."

"No normal person...."  He stared at him.

"Dude, battle reflexes still in action," he said bluntly.  "Remember, I do the impossible and draw serial guys."

"Good point.  You know, I have a friend who got mixed up with one, I'd like to introduce you two.  He's very logical.  Almost Vulcan."

Xander beamed.  "I could do that or my other half.  He's the profiler."

"We can start with him and move to both of you."  He got into another file and printed it.  "Yours."  He winked and walked off.  Yeah, that kid and Zach would get along pretty well.  He'd help him get right again.  Plus this annoying conspiracy of aliens could be stopped.  Who would've thought, bad aliens, he mentally scoffed.  "Hi, Abby."


"Had to tell Harris something."

"Something bad and evil?  Like serial killer bad and evil?  Because we know he dates them."

"No, conspiracy bad and evil," he said, glancing around.  "You see some of the strangest people having meetings in parks at midnight these days."  She beamed at that.  "Be safer."

"You too since they tried to get Garcia with a bomb."

"I'd sic Booth on them and then Brennan.  She'd kick their asses for me."  He smirked as he walked out.  One of their people was waiting to drive him back.  Just in case.  He had heard rumors about the bombs they had found.  And that someone in Homeland had planted them.

Xander walked past her pulling on his jacket.  "Gotta go stop some idiots," he said, kissing her on the cheek.  "Stay safe."

"You're going to the office?"

"No, I'm going to the Pentagon, then meeting someone in Homeland, then to the office."  He winked.  "It'll be fine."  He jogged down the stairs instead of taking the elevator.  His car was parked in the parking garage so it was fine.   They had security that was very good and very paranoid recently.  Especially about his car.  He got in and drove off, going to the Pentagon first.  He knew where O'Neill's office was.  He even had a reason to be there, checking on that contract.  He walked in, signed in, and headed where he needed to go.  He walked into the office, nodding at the assistant.  "I need to see the general about a probable contract," he told the aide.

"He's a bit busy, sir.  May I have your name?"

"Harris."  He called and said that, hanging up when the General yelled 'let him in'.  Xander walked in and handed over the information.  "From another geek that a friend asked.  He said he's seen a lot of strange pairings."  He held up the picture his twin had sent him too.  "Does that look familiar?"

Jack groaned.  "Yes it does.  Where is she?"

"Right above Garcia," he said quietly.  "Met with my twin right before they went to lunch."


He laid out the pages of that report.  "I'm going to Finn next," he said quietly.  "He knows the strangest of strange shit."

"Agreed.  Since it was supposedly one of his people."

"Do we have a way to tell?"

"No idea, kid.  I know some people who can but they're not local."

"Okay."  He stared at him.  "So just call you?"

"Sure, you can do that.  Better than handling it on your own."

Xander snorted.  "This is way out of my league, but there's another hitch."  He pointed.  "That's why I'm involved.  He's a serial killer presently in New York, cutting people into fetish carvings."

"I heard something about that on the news," he admitted slowly.

"We met in Africa.  He decided he wants to impress me and I told him to stop but he hasn't.  I've turned him in a few times.  They didn't believe he was the same person."  He tapped.  "I think his picture will come up the same."

"How did you do that?"

"Rosenburg charmed the camera to tell possessed people."

He stared at him.  "Magic?"

"Yup, sorry."

"No, you guys deal with that freaky crap.  Not your fault."  He looked over the reports.  "Mine?"

"I need a copy for Finn."

"Who gave it to you?"

"One of the geeks that hits the conspiracy sites.  He got asked for some help looking since he lurked there."

"Is he on a list?"

"He's a top entomologist."

"Hodgins?" he asked, looking confused.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "How did you meet him?"

"We have a mutual contact and that one asked him to look when I warned him that they were glancing his direction.  He has a kid."

"Good idea.  They believe it?"

"No idea.  His kid has guards though.  The Council's pissed as hell."

"Even better news."  He leaned back.  "Let me copy this and you go tell Finn I want to see his ass by six tonight."

"Granted."  He let Jack copy things and then left, driving to Homeland Security.   The building was locked down so he called.  "Finn, Harris.  I'm outside.  We have to talk because I have information that was given to me about this conspiracy that's driving us nuts.  And an invitation to talk to someone higher who's also being targeted.  Outside.  Car.  Parked.  Street."  He hung up.  Riley came out about ten minutes later and got in.  "Bug jammer," he said when he winced.  "Not like I'm not paranoid these days."  He took his picture and nodded.  "Good."  He handed over the forms and drove him off.  "I have a general that they're being a pain to as well."

"Good to know."  He looked it over.  "Any idea what sort of demon this is?"

"Not demonic."  He smirked.  "Which is why you got an invite to talk to a general."

"That project Graham said you handed stuff over to when it turned out to be theirs?"

"Their boss."

"Even better.  We had no idea."

"We looked.  They're good.  They do things our way.  Buffy would fit in *real* well there."

"Then I can respect that.  Even if they are science heavy."

"Yeah but they kick ass and do it well.  For a good reason.  Plus they're physicist scientists, not testing scientists."

"Even better."  He noticed where they were going.  "Thanks, Harris."

"They tried to take out the team my twin was interning with.  He might have to leave to keep them safe.  They tried to hit Gibbs after trying to blow us up.  This is not looking good on our internships.  Or us laying low."

"I heard from Giles.  He's very worried why they're coming after you two.  Weapons?"

"No, one of them decided they liked me in Africa.  He's spread it around that I'm potentially useful but not very easy.  So it's part 'we'll destroy you for daring to get in our way' and part 'we'll protect you if you come to us'."

"Like a protection racket that destroys," he said.

"Yup, they want me as a smart minion."  He sighed, handing over the files.  "The general has a copy.  Those are my copies."

"I heard Connor was in town and Angel rumors," he said quietly.

"He got his reward and got a whole new life," he said quietly, glancing at him.  "Connor's in town watching over his son.  He's seven."

"Oh, wow.  So, from the top whole new life?"



"Yup."  He smiled.  "We had pie.  It was pretty cool.  He's happy but divorced.  But he said he's happy."

"Even better.  He clearly earned it."  He shifted.  He still didn't like Angel.  They pulled into a parking lot and Xander got them to the right office.  "Sir," he said, saluting.

"At ease, Captain."  He looked at him.  "Harris, shoo."

"Yes, general.  I trust you guys to watch over me too?"

"Of course.  Go to the office."

"Am."  He left, going to make things to blow these fuckers up if they came near anyone in his present, temporary pack.


Connor Angel looked out on the playground when someone sat beside him.  He glanced over.  "He's sweet."

"He is," Seeley agreed.  "Connor."

"Stop.  Please."  He sighed and looked at him.  "The girls said I had to *talk* about this crap."

"Most girls believe that way," he admitted dryly, smiling some.  "How are you?"

"I'm better.  The girls are good for me.  They annoy the crap out of me but sparring solves that.  I can still kick most of them around."

"Good."  He smiled slightly.  "I, um...."

"Hey, you got your reward.  They started you over.  Let you make your own decisions.  I'm happy with that.  Really.  Though, if he needs help learning how to fight...."

"I'm FBI.  We get special teachers if we want."  He smirked.  "When he's old enough, I'll see if he's interested in the Council but I'd rather have him safe."

"I think we'd all rather have him safe.  After all, he's my little brother."  He punched him on the arm.  "You can write.  The girls were sniffling that you hadn't written.  Buffy and Willow had to make them stop plotting."

"Thank them for me.  That would really blow things open."

"Yeah, a lot."  He smirked.  "Anyway, we're on until they're handled."

"Thanks, kiddo.  You know, you're a good son," he said quietly.  "And I'm proud."

"Aw, crap, mush," he muttered, getting up and walking off when his brother screamed 'daddy' and ran over.  It was good to see him happy without threat of losing his soul.  Yeah, this redo was cool.  Though it suited his mean side that his dad had to start back as a kid again.  Diapers, being cuddled, all that, must've driven him nuts.  But hey, he had a little brother that was slightly a smartass and really cute.  He could handle that and not tell the girls he had gotten mushy.

Seeley hugged his boy.  Yeah, it'd be okay.  Connor had understood and accepted things as they were.  He'd help him protect Parker for as long as he could.  Parker would grow up being a normal little boy.  Not a champion, a destroyer, or Xander.  Though he had been *so* glad Parker wasn't a girl.  He couldn't have handled having a slayer.


Things finally settled down and the twins decided they needed a stress break.  All the plans had been delivered in the second batch to O'Neill.  Everything was just fine.  Their internship people had been pissed as hell that those nuts had went after them but hadn't let them out when they had delicately, for them, asked if they wanted them to leave their internships.  Hotchner had even glared so that was nice of them.

Now, it was clubbing time.  They were nicely hot tonight.  2 was in leather pants and a very tight t-shirt.  He decided he wanted people to watch something other than his eye patch for a bit, because that creeped him out sometimes.  1 was dressed nicely and still very hot in tighter than tight jeans and a t-shirt.  The bouncer at the club they picked stared.  They grinned.  They got patted down but that was all right for the moment.  Then they got let in.

Ah, the scent of lust.  It was good to them.  They had picked a gay club tonight.  Less hassle than dealing with women.  Though there were usually straight women there who just wanted to get down and avoid being hit on.  Which had always amused them.  2 strolled to the bar to get a drink and 1 headed for the raised dance floor.  He was really stressed.  He had tests in classes he hated.  He had that one teacher that kept hitting on him.  Apparently she hadn't lost her job after being arrested.  She was out on bail and making up for lost time, both in the class and with him.  He had taped her and given it to Hotchner since it was still technically their case.  That way they knew where she was.  He had growled and went to talk to the attorney over the case for them.  It was appreciated.

Xander found a small pack already formed around a guy and avoided it.  He did not want to be with the whore of the dance floor.  Whatever he was doing, that was fine.  He moved and wiggled and the person he attracted was much nicer.  He had finally learned to dance on his road trip so he looked good and he felt better almost immediately.  Which meant he looked around for the stress-sucking demon but since he didn't find any he was soothed.

2 came up with his drink, taking the other side of the floor.  Sometimes he and 1 did dance together but tonight they weren't looking for that kind of fun. They wanted separate fun. Someone was attracted to his ass almost instantly and it was nice.  He noticed he had drawn someone from the floor whore's pack and ignored his dirty looks.  He was younger and cuter anyway.

One of the guys moved closer.  "Did you know there's someone who looks just like you?" he called over the music.

"Yeah, he's my twin," he said with an evil smirk.  "He's doing his thing, I'm doing mine...."  The guy laughed and it was sweeter.  Better too.  They liked the leather more than the jeans his twin was wearing because he even got one of his over to his side.  The floor whore wasn't happy with them but they were younger, prettier, and better anyway.  Yeah, this was good for tonight.  And hey, half of them hadn't seen the eye patch, just his ass.  So it worked well.  He could take some ass-love and use it to get him some lovin' later on.


Hotchner checked his watch.  "Okay, Harris is late.  Anyone call him?" he asked.

"I called Abby," Garcia said, coming in.  "Abby said they were stressed due to that teacher and semester tests so they went out."

"Crap.  Which means he's probably either passed out at home with someone or they've got him tied up somewhere," Derek said dryly.  He tried the boy's cellphone.  That they kept nearby.  It went right to DiNozzo's.  "It's Morgan.  Tell me they forwarded calls?"  He listened, making notes.  "Which club was it?"  He smirked and nodded.  "We've had a few out of there go missing but about as many as any other club in the city.  Want our help?"  He laughed.  "Thanks, DiNozzo."  He hung up and looked.  "They were at Tendon."  Hotchner moaned.  That one had been raided last night by police for 'immoral sexual acts'.  Meaning that the cops who did it hated gay people having sex.  "Garcia?"

"I already checked, no arrest, no hospital records for them last night."

"Could they be in a drunk tank?" Prentiss asked.

"They don't hardly drink," Hotchner said.  "What else did he say since you looked amused?"

"Abby sent him over to check since the other one was late on her and he found both beds used, and signs of a thumping.  So yeah, they were their type."  Hotchner sat down with a sigh.  "Any idea who was there last night, baby girl?"

"Not real sure yet.  Let me look."  She went to do that.  She came back ten minutes later.  "Two serial rapists just out of jail.  Rearrested last night.  One other FBI agent who got arrested but she can claim she went to the gaybar to get away from the straight guys hitting on her.  And...."  She put down a picture.  "That one.  They both went home with students from their college and both are psych majors."

They all looked and went to find the boys' profiling teacher.  They really hated that she was out on bail.  High bail but bail.


2 woke up and sighed.  "Well, this sucks," he said, kicking at his twin.  He was chained beside him.

1 woke up and looked around then up at his shackles.  "Which one do you think it is?"

"I went home with a student from our school."

"Me too.  Psych?"


"Huh," they said in unison.  "Or ballistics," they said, considering it.  She had liked to prey on psych students when she was killing.  So maybe....  They slowly got up, their arms stiff now.  That got solved easily enough.  The shackles were set into a dirt wall.  They were solid but not too much room to work with.  1 gave a hard yank and his didn't shift but he could feel something moving so he did it again.  This time they shifted a little bit but he felt the pull of something anchoring it.

They were both in boxerbriefs.  Tank tops.  Which neither one owned.  Yeah, she was psycho.  2 listened and nodded that they were alone.  He yanked harder and it snapped from the anchor and then the wall.  He got free.  He got his twin free.  They still had shackles and chains but nothing was holding them in the basement.

They carefully walked up the stairs.  2 kicked the door out of their way.  It was a pretty house.  "Ballistics," they said together.  2 called Abby.  1 called Garcia.  "It's our ballistics teacher," they told them.  "We're here, were redressed, have cuffs and chains on."  They dropped the phones and went to make coffee.  They needed caffeine.  It was hard work saving yourself when you had no caffeine.

Outside they heard car brakes screech and grimaced, sipping their beloved goddess of the morning.  "I wonder if our toys are still in our beds," 1 sighed.

"She probably killed them for following her orders," 2 decided.  They unlocked the door that was near them and went back to drinking.  Gibbs and Hotchner walked in together.

"Morning," they said in unison.  They took another drink.

"Are you two okay?" Hotchner asked.

"Yup," 1 said, finishing his cup.  "Want some coffee?  We just made it fresh."

"No, let's get you two back to the office while we have uniforms search the house for more victims."  He walked them out, letting Gibbs handle it since they were both his interns.  "What happened?"

"Cute psych students," 2 sighed.  "Very nice asses.  Got home.  Had a short pout about who got the downstairs bedroom that made them laugh."

"We told them whoever gets there first gets it because it's closer to the fridge for midnight snacks.  Got some lube from him and went to the other bedroom, because it was out, and had some fun."

2 shifted.  "He wasn't bad."

1 nodded.  "Not that great on mine either.  The cuteness and good rhythm on the floor did not carry over in my case.  He was all thrust and grunt."  He shrugged, letting the EMT work the shackle off his wrists.  "So we finally went to sleep and woke up in the basement."

"She stupidly wasn't here to gloat.  That's very odd to us," 2 agreed.  "So we got ourselves free because the shackles were only in the dirt wall.  Went up to call you guys, made some coffee so we were less violent and more rational, and here you are," he said with a grin.  "Our hero today."

"Quit flirting," he said dryly.  Gibbs came out.  "Anything?"

"Two dead young guys in clubbing clothes.  One dead woman."

"So we were supposed to starve to death?" 1 asked.  "Interesting idea."

"Shot from someone else, not self-inflicted."

They looked at each other.  "Psych teacher?" they guessed.

"Could be Brownie," 1 offered.  "They still haven't caught him in New York."

"Can't be, no fetish dolls were mentioned and the General's people were after him now.  Rasputin's gone but what about his little brother?" 2 asked.  "Or even his sister."

"Hmm, could be," 1 agreed.  "They're both psycho but not enough to really come at us.  He warned them off often enough.  Could also be fetish man, the one with the latex and ropes that wanted us."

"Yeah, he was sucky but you arranged for him to be quietly arrested when he went after Seeley's partner.  Ooh, the floor whore.  I got definite 'pack' vibes from him."

"Yeah but we're not pack to him."  He considered it.  "He did look a bit...  Bad.  But I didn't even give him a second look."

"Me either, but that doesn't mean he didn't look. I got plenty of evil looks because some of his pack got into my circle."

"Floor whore?" Hotchner asked.

The EMT looked at him.  "The person in the club who's gotten all the people in his circle to dance with him, sir.  There's usually one that draws half the floor to them and they can get jealous when you poach."

2 nodded.  "1 can do that now and then."

She grinned.  "I'm sure you both can.  You're both well built and speak of unspeakable things later on."   They grinned at her for that compliment.  "Anything else unusual you remember?  Because I see needle marks."

"That was probably post sex," they sighed.  "Blood?"

"I can't pull blood."

"I can," 2 said.  "Get me stuff?"  She gave him a look.  "I'm a field medic," he sighed.  "Combat trained."  She got it for him and let him do it.  They signed off on not going to the hospital and the ambulance left.  He handed the vials to Hotchner.  "There you go."

"Combat trained?" Gibbs snorted.

"What do you call what we used to do nightly?" 1 asked.  He looked at his twin.  "You don't think it's related, do you?"

"We can ask," Gibbs ordered.  "Car, boys.  We'll go back to NCIS while Hotchner deals with this."

"Thanks," he said dryly.

"We'll help where we can.  Want Ducky?"

"Please.  We'll share this time since they're both interns with us."  They nodded and Gibbs called Ducky to the scene and his team.  Aaron called his team to go over what they found.  And to get a full and complete list of the psychos the boys knew, had turned in, and who was floating around them.  They'd end up seeing most of them sometime so better forewarned.  He'd pass on this warning when they went to their post-grad too.  Though he would pity the agents in that city, wherever they went.  There weren't as many of them as there were in DC to handle things.


Seeley Booth walked into another office in Quantico, looking at the man in there.  "You wanted to see me?"

Spenser Reid smiled.  "Well, the boss wanted to see you but he's off yelling at our intern for being kidnaped and about the person who kidnaped them got killed by another serial killer."  The other agent moaned, shaking his head.  "Hotchner did make them both write out a list of all the psychos they knew were being drawn to them, liked them, were floating around that they had seen.  Two of them relate back to your caseload so we thought you'd like warned.  One's in jail.  The other is just hanging around."  He handed over the files.  "That way you can handle any security for your people that they might need."

"Thanks.  They okay?"

"Yeah, they're fine.   They got free, called us and NCIS to apologize for being late and to find them.  When they got there, the boys had made coffee and were drinking it."

"Sounds like Xander," he muttered.  "Thank you.  Let me more if you hear more?"

"Of course."  He smiled.  "Have fun with that.  Neither one's *too* bad but we think she picked up one on a dig too.  That's in there as well."

Seeley smiled.  "We'll be talking later then.  Thanks."  He left, going back to his office so he could look those over.  Then down to talk to Temperance, who was not happy.  She was having a temper tantrum in her own understated way because someone had moved remains on her.  New kids, really new, stupid kids.  He walked her off.  "Come talk to me about this anthropologist who wanted to kidnap you, pour hot bronze over you so he'd have a statue of you, and use it to set up a shrine," he ordered.

"What?  There was?"  He handed over the file.  "Oh, there was."  She scowled.  "I saw him at a fundraiser last week."

"Then we clearly need to deal with it.  Thankfully one out of the three I got told about a while ago was arrested quietly for trying to stalk you."  He took her to her office so they could go over them together.

"He's a brave man," Hodgins said.

Doctor Sweet, who two of the new kids had tried to hide behind, nodded.  "I wonder how she got a new stalker this time."  He went to butt in.  "Can I help?"

"Sure," Seeley said, handing the extra file over.  "He's around here somewhere."

He read it over, nodding.  "Profilers had it?"

"Yup.  I got handed it by some geeky young guy.  Bit older than you."



"Spenser Reid.  Child genius."  He went back to it.  "I can't believe you two got your own serial killer that's focused on you."  He looked up.  "The other?"

"In jail," he said, letting him see it.

"Out on bail then.  I saw him last night as a janitor."  Seeley went to find that putz first.  He was the more immediate problem.  "Let me see if I can help with this first folder for you, Doctor Brennan.  That way you can calm down and handle the person from the field trip?"

"I can do that," she agreed.  "Thank you."  He nodded and left.  Her temper was still high and she was going to shoot or maim someone.  She knew at least one martial art.  She was going to mess someone up.  Slowly.  She went back over that first file.  She did not like these things.  They made very little sense to her and she hated people who stalked others.  She understood the fundamentals behind the actions but why her?


Tony stared at the boys who had been put into the office and ordered to stay there.  They were napping together on their couch.  It was cute.  He coughed and 2 lifted his head.  "Thank you for helping us arrest seventeen people today."

"We left files."

"They noticed that."  He came in and sat down, looking at them.  "You're good."  They grinned.  "Abby pouted that we made you come back here where it was safer."  Graham leaned in, tossing him a file.  "Paperwork?"

"Yup.  How many sickos?"

"Eighteen including the one that got shot for having them."

"Any idea which sicko that was?" Miller asked.

"Nope.  Not yet."

"Crap.  You know, you could pull that couch out," he suggested.  "Madria saw you two and blushed.  She thinks you're doing each other."

"No one loves you more than your own hand," 1 quipped.  He walked off groaning.  "If we had pulled the couch out, she would've tried to interrupt us for being together."

"Probably," Tony agreed.  He stared at them.  "Gibbs is *so* not amused by serial people."

"That's why we left the files at the FBI."

"Good of you.  He liked that move.  They said next time put a post-it with your name on them."  He leaned forward.  "Only one wasn't arrested," he told them.  "There wasn't enough immediate evidence so they have him under surveillance."  They smiled.  "Seeley Booth said thank you as well.  And to do your post-grad in Miami.  They have a lot of bad gangs, drug dealers, and international stupid fuckers who could use arrested."

"We got accepted to New York, LA's, and Miami's labs."

"Hotchner said to take Miami.  New York has a good set of profilers.  You'll be drawn into the Russian things up there."

"I speak Russian," 1 said.

"Good!  Can you speak Spanish or Portugese?"  They both nodded.  "Then go to Miami.  They could use the help more and both bosses agreed on that.  They'd even send down warnings to your future boss."

"Cool," 1 said, yawning.  "Thanks, Tony."

"Welcome.  Nap, guys.  It's been a long few hours."  They nodded and went back to sleep.  Tony dropped his paperwork off and went to see what they had built today.  "Aww, they finished the bombs," he said dryly, cracking Miller up.

"And two others, plus the newest design.  They're calling it Cupid's Arrow."  He let him see it.  "I have no idea why."

Tony looked at the prospective write up.  "Huh.  Meant to be fired with a dart of biological substance."

Miller moaned.  "I don't want to know."  He walked off shaking his head.

Tony grinned and faxed the report to Hotchner.  He'd be amused he was sure.  Gibbs would growl and no one deserved that today.  Not with as much paperwork they had to do on those arrests.


Both twins stood up as their prospective post-grad internship person walked into the conference room.  "Good morning."

He smiled.  "Both of you are coming to Miami?"

"If we can," 1 agreed.  "We're both ballistics interns and I'm also a profiling candidate."

"That's wonderful."  He put down the folder he was carrying.  "I have had the most interesting talk with your present internship people."  He put down his sunglasses as well, staring at them.  "Do serial killers really like you that much?"

"Yeah, since we first sprouted a woodie," 2 sighed.  "It used to just be evil girls."

"Cheerleaders?" the officer guessed.

"Actually, she was probably our nicest one," 1 admitted.  "Before her was a foreign exchange student who killed three or four people.  The one before her was a sub that had killed the teacher to get a spot and had a fondness for virgins."  The officer gave them a horrified look.  They grinned.  "After that was a woman who swore up and down she was the essence of vengeance for scorned women.  We nearly married her."

"Anya was decent, but blunt," 2 agreed.

He nodded.  "You two are going to drive us nuts."

"We'll try very hard not to," they promised.

"All right.  I can see benefits of having you two.  You're both very high up in your program's rankings.  You've both got exceptional skills with artillery."

"We do design some," 2 admitted with a shy grin.

"I was told about your company.  Is it coming to Miami?"

"No, we'll be moving it after we're hired on in a permanent sense," 2 told him.

"That's fine.  It's a good plan."  He sat down and they sat down.  He went over their internship program, the benefits, the duties, all that.  They signed on right then and there.  He did warn them that the first time they drew someone too psycho they were going to be grounded to the lab.  They sighed but nodded.  He shook their hands and left to get the fuller report they had promised if he signed on with them.  It was nice to see two government agencies working together.  And the Pentagon adding in a file was nice as well he supposed.  That was more on the company so it was fine.  They could commute up to DC now and then.  Or set up a temporary lab for their own use in Miami.  He went back to his office and called his ballistics person up once he finally made it in that night.  "You have two interns."

"Why do I get two?"

"They're twins."

"Really?"  She took the main folder.  "They are."  She smiled.  "They're cute.  They've got good rankings.  They know artillery?"  She looked up.  "Military?"

"They own a design company."

"Ah!"  She nodded, getting back to it.  They were good looking interns.  "Any problems I should hear?"

"Yes, I've been told both draw psychos, they're slightly smartasses, and they flirt now and then when things get tense."

She looked at him.  "So they're Speed's relatives?"

He smiled slightly.  "Possibly.  Dark hair, one has an eyepatch.  Both strong looking young men.  Both used to work construction.  Joint trip to Africa for just under a year."

She nodded.  "So experienced.  Good."  She handed it back.  "Psychos?"

"Their total of serial killers, rapists, and torturers that have been caught thanks to them is twenty-four in the past six months."  She groaned, sitting down.  "Some because they handed over a list of who was interested.  But one is a profiler."

"Probably makes it easier for them to find each other."

"Probably," he agreed.  "SSA Hotchner at the BAU agreed with that.  That the boys themselves had joked about that."  She smiled.  He handed over a card.  "That is their corporate email address.  Send them anything you need to get to know them and any first day instructions."

"I can do that."  She got up and took it, heading down to write to them.  At least they were competent.  That was a good thing in her book.  Eric leaned in.  "I am getting twin ballistics interns."

"Twins?" he joked.  "Male, female?"

"Male.  Construction experience, time in Africa for about a year, one's a profiler, and they draw psychos like you do."  He walked off snickering.  "Well, I'll make him club with them so they can save Eric too."  She finished her email to them and it bounced but she got one a minute later from a better one saying that their firewall was acting up and introducing themselves.  That was nice of them.  It had a better email address too.  She was sure they'd fix the firewall issue.  It was probably hackers or something.


2 looked at the real estate agent.  "Truth, dude.  I have enough money to buy something sweet for us.  We're only here for a year though.  We need space to create things with metal.  We need space to live.  I can add security."


"We love to swim but it's not on the top of our list."

"We?  Wife, girlfriend?"

"Twin brother."

"Okay."  He pulled up some listings and took him to look them over.  Each one would narrow down his search.  The kid ended up liking a rundown shack that was a bit far out.  It had a garage workshop already attached, and an apartment overtop of it.  The house needed work but he let slip he could do construction so that would be good.  Fixing it up and flipping it would be even better he supposed.  They signed and he paid for it, with a cashier's check, then it was sent in.  He went back to the hotel to their spa, or so he said, and the realtor got happy with his commission.  He needed a new car.


Xander looked at his twin once he got home.  "Well?"

"I like it, I told you that," he said, looking at the catalog.  "Should we sell this place?"

"Probably.  Our new one is big enough and we'll have some storage areas for the winter stuff."  He sat down beside him.  "What else were you thinking?"

"I saw General Annoying, Retired thank you God."

"I heard that on the flight up.  What did he complain about this time?"

"We're not living up to the status of our company.  Anyone who does business with us thinks we're still starting out because we drive cheap cars and don't wear suits and stuff."

"I'm not really interested in changing who we are for corporate excellence."

"Me either," his twin assured him, "but he was real blunt that we're cutting our prices too low too."

"I heard you quip something about willing to up the prices for the bids."

"Especially for him and his company."  They stared at each other.  "I asked Tony and Graham."

"What did Tony say?"

"Graham said he agreed, we needed to dress better and make the office look more prosperous.  He also pointed out to the general that they were temporary offices until we finished our post-grad.  He said next time, to get more glass and plants."  He shrugged.  "Miller agreed that we should get a new corporate mobile."

"Len said so too because ours is in the shop again," he promised.

"So I gave Tony carte blanche to go looking."

"I like ours."

"If we're in Miami, nothing less than money cars gets play."

"I know."  He leaned against his shoulder.  "I can hear your hamster wheels turning in cycle with mine."

"Tony said we'll need a more professional set of clothes for work.  I checked their dress code.  They like dress shirts."


"Tony said he'd help."

"That's better.  Maybe he'll find something not strangling."

"No ties outside of court," he promised.

"Even better!"  He relaxed.  "I like our cars."

"So do I but what about getting a third car?  Something flashier?"

"That seems fake to me."

"I know but if it helps...."

"I'm not going to go Wall Street for the company."

"Thank God."  He leaned back and they cuddled for a bit.  "What about motorcycles?"

"Maybe.  We'll think about it.  We are young, hot, and free."  He grinned.  "We'll move our special lab down there?"

"Will we have enough room?"


"Can't we just rent a crucible setup?"

"No.  Not with the size we'd need."  He stroked his twin's shoulder.  He clearly had all the business sense but that was okay.  They'd handle this and 1 would get to shyly entice more sickos soon.  While he paraded around and made them beg.

"I make them beg plenty," he complained quietly.

"Yes, but you make them beg when they have you.  I make them beg to have me."  They shared a grin and bopped each other with a pillow.  "So, how high are we going for bids?"

"I tripled it and noted that we were told we were undercutting our own prices by General Annoying.  I also told O'Neill his project was outside the bidding process.  The general complained but I pointed out we liked their work and it was more necessary.  Therefore we were supporting them fully by being nice to them.  That they then had to contract our to have them built.  Which made him happier.  We'll see what happens."

"Cool."  2 yawned.  "Bed?"


"Dinner," he agreed, letting his stomach lead the way to the take out.  "Someday we're going to have to learn how to cook more than simple stuff."

"Maybe if we become mega rich, we'll get a housekeeper?" 1 teased.

"We're worth like forty-five mil," he pointed out before taking a bite.  "With the company included."

"I know but only ten of that is in cash.  Oh, got an offer from England."


"Build them a prototype for their military.  I showed them our older prototypes.  O'Neill told them some about how some worked since he was in to talk about what Kavanagh had been working on.  Apparently he had taken a design that his team had been working on with him.  The team agreed to let him have that one but put their agreement for split of profit in writing for him."  2 nodded at that.  "Tony thought that was fair and said that Kavanagh probably couldn't sell it for anything and that the weapon was on the weak looking side."

"It was," he agreed.  He had seen that design in the last week.  He ate another bite.  "Did they like anything?"

"We let them test whatever they wanted and they bought the plans for six of them and contracted for power cells."

"Excellent."  He smirked and ate a bite.  "That should give us some to clothes shop out of our part."

"Only one was a team design.  Most of it was our earlier, meaner stuff."  That got an evil smirk.  "He looked at our stuff that we drew in Africa and during the First.  O'Neill too.  They both moaned at it.  I had pulled out the old trunk to compare Syd's team's present thing to something and O'Neill wanted to look so of course he told them."

"We're allies."

"That guy knew O'Neill."  He smirked.  "We sold a whole hell of a lot of them and that was pre-company stuff."  That got an even bigger evil smirk.  "I talked to our stiff and our CPA.  They agreed that was all ours since it was pre-company.  The foreign general was even nice when we said we gave O'Neill a special rate.  Apparently he *knows*."

"Wow.  So good shopping?"

"We can so buy half of Texas," he said, holding up the checks.  His twin came over to hug him.  "Ours after the company got theirs.  Free and clear."

"Wow."  He stared at it.  "We should photocopy it.  I've never seen one with eight zeros before."  He pointed at the wall and he looked then at the checks.  "Deposited?"

"On the way home."

"I love you."  He hugged him.  "Thanks for dinner too, dear."

"Welcome."  He smirked back.  "So we can shop if we must.  Just don't dress like Mary-Kate and go rich hobo."

"Oh, yeah, like that'll happen," he said dryly.  "Tony would never allow it."

"True.  I invited Spenser along too.   He was having a down day."

"That's cool."  He cleaned up.  "How much longer?"

"Twenty before we have to leave."

"Let me shower and change then."  He went to do that and came down in clean clothes for their shopping misery.  Shopping was for girls but sometimes you had to.


Tony smiled at Spenser.  "The boys drag you too?"

"Yes.  They decided I was having a bad day."  He looked around.  "This is very upscale."

"Not really," he admitted.  "I shop here and all of my stuff has to be able to be cleaned after a day in the field."  Spenser smiled so he handed him a pair of pants.  "Try those on."  He went to do that.  The boys came in.  "There you are."

"I needed dinner," he said, giving him a quick hug.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, boys.  Now, you need professional without being too uptight.  You'll need to be able to get dirty if you must and have it clean easily, and you need to look hot enough to attract *good* attention."  Spenser snorted from the changing room.  "They're going to Miami."

"Get short sleeved shirts," he called.  "It's hot down there."

"It's humid too," 2 complained.  Tony smiled and pointed at a rack.  They looked.  "Easily cleaned?"

Spenser came out.  "These are comfortable.  A bit of stretch to the fabric.  I might not need a belt."

"They are," Tony agreed.  "They can be washed at home and usually come clean for me.  Or you can drop them off if you want."  Spenser smiled at that.  "They're a good neutral color so you can match whatever you want on top."

"I like my sweaters," he said dryly.

"Not like anyone confuses you, Spenser," Tony joked with a smirk.  "They all know you're incredibly smart.  Even without the sweater."  He handed over a shirt.  "Try that on."

Xander 1 held up one.  "This?"

"God no," Tony complained, taking it and putting it back.  He handed him something else.  "Try that on.  And you try the other jewel toned one next to it," Tony ordered.  They went to do that while Spenser snickered.  Tony considered it.  He really should invite one of his ladies down to help them.  They helped him.  They found enough for this store and he moved them to a store where an ex worked.  She smacked him on the face when he walked in.  "You never returned the phone call," he complained.

"You never tried a second time," she shot back.

He shrugged.  "I ended up in Paraguay the next day."

"Oh.  Well, maybe later?"

"If you help my interns and the profiler."  He grinned.  "The two young ones are going to be interning in Miami.  The profiler is local but he travels a lot."

"Aww, you brought me geeks."

"Geeks will sneak up on you," he quipped.  "I like these three geeks.  They're smart in a nice way."

"That's wonderful.  What fields?"

"We're ballistics interns," 1 said with a shy grin.

She beamed and took them to get them better clothes.  She knew just what would make them look nice and hot.

"One suit for court each," Tony ordered.  "You'll need it."  They all sighed and nodded.  She worked on commission so she was more than happy to help them.  She was a bit mercenary but that was fine with Tony.  Mercenary girls didn't let anyone else move on their turf.  They came out of there with four huge bags and they got put into trunks, then they walked up the street to get shakes and head to a looser store for clubbing clothes.  Tony insisted.  Especially since he had gotten an idea of how to put GPS on them when they went out to draw their next psychotic follower.  Spenser liked the idea too and got some of his own, that way he could tag the team.  Tony put an extra one down and put it on Spenser's collar for him with a smirk.  The boys giggled but let Tony find them stuff they could move in.

Spenser watched them try on outfits and move to the music playing quietly in the store.  "They do look hot."

"You're not insane enough for them," Tony joked.

"No, I'm not a bad boy by any means."  The twins smirked and pulled him over to dance with them.  It was very hot.  He was sweating.  He was starting to think about gay sex and he hadn't doubted that area before.  He fled with a blush and decided he might think about that topic later, when he wasn't in close proximity to them.  It might make things clearer again.  Tony was giggling so he hit him on the arm.  "You go dance with them."  They came out in another set of outfits and drew Tony over, letting him get down with them.  Still very hot.  Spenser decided maybe he was bi right then and there.  He coughed.  "Tony, girlfriend."

He smiled and waved.  "I'm making them get better clubbing clothes that we can put GPS on because they get stolen a lot by bad girls."  He pulled her in and she shivered but let the twins dance with her while he escaped.  Tony nearly pouted at not having his ex for another night but the boys needed someone *sane* for a change.  Even if they did look a bit kinky together with just one woman.  "Boys, pay?"  They paid for the clothes and got them to another hot spot for clothes then took them home.  Tony shook his head, watching her work them both.

Spenser patted him on the arm.  "Sorry, Tony."

"Its all right.  I can see the allure of being between them but damn...."  Spenser laughed.  "I'm sure she'll have more fun than I will be tonight.  But I have a full black book."  He looked at Spenser.  "Need driven?" he teased.

"No, I have ben and jerry's calling my name from my freezer while I reevaluate my sexuality."  He went to his own car, heading home to think about that topic now that he wasn't being smarmed by hot twin pheromones.

Tony went home to call a friend and it was better.


Tony looked over as the boys came in for their last day of internship.  Abby was pouty about it but they only had summer classes to do and then they'd be done.  "Nice choice," he praised.  "Comfortable?"

"Mostly," 1 said.  "I've got a wedgie thanks to my evil twin there and Mistress Kelsi."  He rolled his eyes.  "She wanted us to get hotter cars or motorcycles."

"I can't see you two on motorcycles.  You'd be holy terrors," Gibbs complained.

"Awww, that's the sweetest thing I've heard all year," 2 cooed.

Gibbs glared but the boys only grinned back.  "You two are certifiable."

"No we're not.  The profilers said so," 1 quipped.  They all snorted at that and let it go before more bad jokes got started.  The boys got comfortable and it was nicer.  Their evaluations came out excellent.  BAU had sent theirs over since they were once again out of town on a case.  It all looked good and the program would be happy to let them go in a few short weeks after they finished classes.  Abby pouted and hugged, sniffling a bit, but they reminded her she could write and they'd like that.  They left Tony with orders for how to do things in their absence and left for the day, going to celebrate in a park.


Horatio looked at Calleigh a few weeks later.  "I was just told that the twins were encouraged to upgrade for corporate success."

She snorted.  "They going to fall for that?"

"Sometimes you have to humor generals who want to buy your weapons.  DiNozzo said that he talked them into spending an outrageous amount of money on what they're calling their corporate mobile."

"What did they get?  Some sports car?"

"Not enough passenger space.  They got a Bentley Arnage."  She gave him a look.  "Honestly.  He was also encouraged to make them meet up to dress codes.  Took them shopping and lost one of his ex's to them.  That way they weren't wearing print shirts and jeans.  He said he's working on a haircut too."

"So they wear tight jeans, printed shirts, have messy hair....  Are they going to show up on a Ducati and are you sure they aren't related to Speed?"

He smiled.  "Not that I'm aware of.  Though DiNozzo had met him at a conference and when I asked he said it was amusing to think of but that he would've taken them from their home immediately."  She nodded, groaning a bit.  "So they will be professional looking, at least slightly, and he said they're sticking firm to their lower class sports car, though may get one for more private use later on."

"Wonderful."  She stared at him.  "They get here when?"

"Two days for the move, six days to start.  I've seen where they're staying, they submitted the address.  It's a bit farther than I'd like but it's got a good workshop area for them."

"Good to know."

"Plus a house that could use some fixing up.  Both boys worked construction."

"So when they leave, they've fixed it and they'll flip it," she said.  He nodded.  "Huh.  So why aren't they living like rich boys?"

"They're not from money and apparently don't want to be."

"That's sensible then.  Will it hurt them?"

"As long as the people who want to bid are impressed, I don't think they care."

"Even better.  Though they might not get much play in the clubs."

"I think we can help them figure out a sense of style that gets them noticed.  I'm sure Eric will be helping," he said dryly.

"Probably," she sighed.  "At least he can't get into any more trouble with them there."

"They are supposed to be quite protective," he agreed.  "Six more days.  Then we'll have new people."

Eric walked past them.  "Can we get the new people to bury some of the older ones?"

"No, Eric, but while they're here, you might suggest helping the boys with their corporate image so the generals like them more."

"Generals?  They're going military after us?"

"They own a weapons design firm," Calleigh said dryly.  He shuddered.  "They know artillery."

"Wonderful.  Can they come sooner so I can figure out what shot at my last victim?"

Horatio looked.  "RPG, Eric.  Nothing that exotic."

He groaned.  "Illegal still, right?"

"Yes.  Ask the ATF if they know where they might have gotten it."  He nodded, going over there.  "You might also see if you can figure out why they draw the evilest of evil women," Horatio told her quietly.

"Sure, will Alexx have a problem?"

"I hadn't thought of that."  He sent that text message to DiNozzo.  He had left it with him in case something happened that he needed to know - he had jokingly suggested a long term kidnaping.  He got back an answer.  "No, they won't accept mothering and they'll fuss over someone else.  They greatly fussed over him when he wrenched his back."  He went to talk to her.  She'd want to mother them with one missing an eye. "Alexx?" he called quietly as he walked into the morgue.  She waved from her office.  He walked in there.  "It is six days before new interns show up."

"I know.  All those babies who have not a clue and think they know everything."

He smiled.  "Most of them will be, but two are not going to be like that.  Well, they may be know-it-alls but they might be better than average."  She stared at him.  "We have a set of twins coming in."

"Awww.  Male or female?"

"Male.  Both ballistic techs.  Both, I'm informed, will shy away from mothering but they will fuss over someone else."

"I'll be gentle on Calleigh's new boys, Horatio.  What do they look like?"

He sat down.  "They are a lot like Speed from what I understand. A bit smartass, clubbers, young but quietly intelligent, though hiding it from what I'm told.  They draw every single bad boy and girl in existence to them.  They own a weapons design company together."

She gaped.  "We're getting the Harris boys?"  He smirked and nodded.  "We'll have to make sure they take GPS monitors with them when they go out," she said dryly.  "My friends in New York's lab said that they turned in someone that followed them back from Africa to kill people over here trying to impress them."

"I had not heard that yet.  I'll have to call Mac."  He smiled.  "Yes, we are getting them.  They're coming down from DC.  They interned with NCIS.  The one that's a profiler student got some time at the BAU as well."

"Wonderful.  He probably needed it."  She leaned back.  "I won't mother or fuss if they're not comfortable with it."

"Thank you."

"Will they be showing up on a ducati?"

"Calleigh asked the same question and if they were related to him."  She cackled.  He patted her on the arm.  "We'll introduce them."  She nodded.  He stood up.  "So in six days you can scare them all straight again."

"I will try, but you know how stupid most interns are in their first month, until their first body call."

"I know.  It's always amusing when they flinch, run, and puke when they see their first mutilation or dead body."  He left her to think in peace.  The boys were going to hopefully bring some life to their lab.  Speed hadn't been able to come back.  His shoulder was limited in range of motion and he had lost some feeling in his hand.  He was also pouty, sulky, and depressed at the moment.  He called him.  "I have new interns I want you to meet even though they are ballistics interns, Speed."  He smiled.  "Because everyone who has heard said that they sound a lot like you."  He laughed.  "Yes, all that and more.  Harris.  Twins."  He saw a horrified look and paused.  "You heard about our new ballistic interns, Mr. Wolfe?"

"Yeah, they arrested one of my ex's thanks to them realizing she had become a black widow.  They're coming here?  Both of them?"

"Yes, in six days.  With the rest."

"I'm looking forward to meeting them then."  Horatio smiled and walked off chatting with Speed about them.  Maybe they would be enough to kick him in the ass and get him back on track.

The end.

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