NOTES: Kimmychu wrote a wonderful story called _To DD or Not To DD_ that has the idea of nanites in it.  I have asked her for permission but at this time haven't received any sort of answer.  She stated she has left fandom.  I'm only borrowing the idea of the nanites for this one fic.  Vo.

Not Quite Myself.

Xander got the package the receptionist had called him down about, looking it over.  "It wasn't scanned?" he asked her.

"The mail office said it was too small to contain anything harmful, Xander."  She smiled.  "They thought it might be a new love note or something."

"No, no body parts," he said dryly, smiling back as he walked off.  He flipped it over a few times in the elevator.  He was not a happy boy at the moment because this was weird.  No one would be sending him anything but threats or dropped guns at the lab.  They might send them to the corporate office, but not this lab.  He walked into ballistics, frowning some.  "We have a strange letter."

His twin, Alex, looked it over.  "Too small to be a letter bomb.  Not scanned?"

"No.  They said the same thing."

"Huh."  He found their metal detector and ran it over it.  Nothing unusual.  "Want me to get Stella since Mac's out today?"

"I think it'll be all right.  Just weird."  He sat down at the table while his twin went to do the newest gun's test fire.  He checked it over again, groping it carefully.   Nothing he could feel.  It felt like a piece of bulky paper.  He picked up the letter opener on the desk and opened it, careful to make sure the hole faced away from him.  He pulled out the paper carefully, looking at it.  It was a short note. //You won't win and you're wrong.//

"Huh," he said, putting it down.  He picked up their scene camera to take a picture of it, and the envelope, just in case it was a threat after all.  He also emailed those to Graham so he would be aware.  That's when he started to feel funny.  Like his insides were twitching.  He frowned, scratching the area.  Nothing.  Then all of a sudden, pain.

Alex came out of the firing pen.  "1?" he asked, looking at him.  He was on the floor groaning, holding his stomach.  "SHELDON!" he bellowed, checking on his twin's pulse.  Stella came running.  "No, Sheldon only.  He opened a letter that got sent here and then fell down in pain."  She nodded, backing off, calling Sid since Sheldon was out of the building.  Then the paramedics.   There was no telling what this was.  She would call Mac once they knew something for certain.

Sid came hurrying in and looked.  "What happened?"

"That envelope there," Xander said with a point.  "It was sent here."

Sid glanced at it.  "No powder residue so it's probably not a biological contamination.  Does he have his appendix out?"

Alex considered that.  "I think ...  You know what happened, right?" he asked quietly, getting a nod back.  "It burst when I was seven but I have no idea."

"All right.  Let me check him."  He put on gloves and got down to check the boy over.  He moved his shirt to feel his stomach.  It gave him a fantastic view of the breasts that were currently growing.  "Um...."

Alex looked.  "No, that's not usually there."  He tipped his head to the side.  "Huh.  Anything else going?"

Sid felt around his stomach, nodding.  "I do believe so.  I can feel some heat in this area."  He looked then undid his belt, nodding once he peeked.  "Definitely."

"How in the hell?" Alex demanded.  He looked at the letter, getting up to get some clips and a tester for electrical output that they kept in case of problems in the lab.  "It has a small current.  The light's barely glowing.  Stella, this paper has electricity and it's causing my twin to change."

She came in and looked over his shoulder, then at the boy on the floor.  "That's definitely not normal."

"Ya think?" he asked dryly.  "I'm a bit freaked out right now," he complained at her glare.  "Wouldn't you be?"

"I am freaked out," she promised, patting him on the arm.  "Bag that."  He did that and the envelope.  "Adam!" she shouted.  He was waiting.  "This paper has a small current.  Figure out what it is."  He took the bag to the sterile lab to open it and run the usual tests on it.  She called to cancel the ambulance.  Sid gave her a dirty look.  "I don't think they can handle this in a normal ER.  I know someone, I questioned him on a case.  I'll call him directly and see if he can pop over."  She walked out into the hall to call that contact.  She had hoped she'd never have to see him again but he handled the strangest of cases all the time.

Alex looked at his twin.  "Is he all right, Sid?"

"Probably in some pain."  Alex nodded, helping him up.  "For right now, make him...her comfortable.  Then we'll see what we can do once we find out what it is."  He closed the door and put a sticky note on it, writing out a warning to leave the boys alone for now.  Alex looked like he was going to break down and Xander was probably going to be ranting for a good, long time until he could deal with this.  He hoped they could change him back.

Stella hung up and leaned in.  "He'll be here in a few hours."

"Um....  Can you get Graham?"

She nodded.  "And some softer, more comfy clothes too, guys."  She closed the door and walked down to the office calling him.  "Graham, Stella.  No, not hurt.  Well, kinda.  Someone sent the twins a letter that somehow changed Xander.  No, I think she's going to make Faith jealous."  He spluttered.  "Please, and something comfy and soft since Sid thinks this is probably pain that made him pass out?  Thank you."  She hung up and walked in to call Mac so he wouldn't hear it from anyone else.


Graham walked into the ballistics lab, looking at the twins sitting against opposite walls staring at each other.  "How in the hell?" he asked.

"Letter," Xander said, looking at him.  "Do you have any sweats?  My stomach is killing me."

He handed over the bag.  "Jammie pants, a loose t-shirt.  I wasn't even going to guess about underwear, sorry."

"It's fine."  He went into the exemplar room to change and came back out to flop down and stare at his twin again.  All the cameras were off in their lab until they were ready to deal with people.  "Any clues yet?"

"No one's told me anything."  He looked at Graham.  "We have how many generals coming in a few days?"

"Four.  It's just those two weapons they wanted to test."  He sat down at the desk, looking at them.  "Are you two okay?"

"Kinda freaked out," they admitted in unison, then grinned.

"At least some things didn't change," he offered.  They both scowled so he smiled.  "Taking some time off?"

"I shouldn't.  We don't have many leave hours after the whole battle stuff," Xander said quietly.

Someone knocked and Mac walked in, staring at him before he shut the door.  "Stella told me."  He looked at her, then nodded.  "Adam said the paper had nanites on it."  He looked at Graham.  "Is this going to cause you problems?"

"Not if it's temporary.  If not, we'll have to explain it better to the generals."

"Who would send us nanites?" Alex asked.  "Especially with that sort of message?"

"I managed to pull up a listing of who's working on what project according to the oversight people," Graham said, pulling out his laptop to get into it.  He did a search.  "Three people are working on nanites.  Two for germ warfare....  Oh, one's doing it for undercover agents."  Xander snorted, shaking her head.  "That probably means it's temporary."

"Hopefully.  Did we piss them off somehow?"

He traced that scientist around, back to someone else.  "He and Kavanagh are buddies.  His livejournal lists him as his best man at his wedding last month."  They all stared at him.  "They fired him while we were in DC.  He's behind that whole 'they stole our idea' complaint last year too, Mac.  We stopped that one by proving it."  That got a single nod from Mac.  The boys both groaned.  "So....."

"How do you kill nanites?" Xander asked.  "Or should we be worrying about injecting me or infecting me, whatever, with another dose to turn myself back."

Graham called the oversight person.  "It's Miller.  Small issue, not with the lab."  He listened to him complain, the guy always complained.  "The twins got sent a letter that was filled with nanites."  The man complained louder but found the list.  Graham sent him the link he had found.  "That's why.  Email."  He got into it and groaned.  "We need to know if they're reversible or if he has to be injected with another dose, and what to do.  No, I'm sitting here looking at her," he said bluntly.  "Their boss at the NYPD lab is not happy either."  He smirked at Mac.  "He said he's going to stomp that guy and get his notes."

"If it's technical...."  Alex started.  A large demon appeared and the boys grabbed weapons before anyone could do more than flinch, killing it.  He looked at his twin.  "Clearly someone likes this idea."

"This makes me a twenty-eight-year-old virgin with hellmouth taint and slight magic," she said bluntly.  "I am in deep shit if they get me."  His twin gave her a hug.  "Thanks."

"You know I'll protect you as much as I can.  If we have to, you can have Faith or Wendy help."

She sniffled.  "Thank you."  She went into the firing pen to curl up in a corner.  It was safer.  They had protections in there in case something happened.

Someone pounded then walked in and slammed the door shut.  "Taylor, I heard we had a biological scare today?" the commissioner demanded.

Mac handed him the report Adam had done and pointed.  "CSI Harris is presently recovering."  He glanced in and blanched, then read the report.  His boss groaned.  "Graham Miller, their helper at the company lab, found out who it was, sir.  We're figuring out if it can be reversed at the moment."

"All right.  What do we need to do?" he asked.  Another demon, this time small, vicious, and armed appeared in a flash of light.  Graham hit it with a taser bolt, killing it.  "Nice shot, sir."

Graham smiled.  "We're all very protective of the twins at the company."  He listened.  "Please.  Yeah, we're already having to deal with that issue," he admitted.  "What do we need to do to fix this?"  He nodded.  "That'll work.  Stella said she's got a friend coming to look him over.  Please."  He hung up.  "He's getting the notes and sending them to you personally, Mac."  Mac nodded, going to his office with the commissioner.   He saw Stella talking to someone in the hallway.  "I think that's him.  He's on a cane, about ten years older than I am."  Xander came out to look then went back to hide.  Stella let him in and Alex pointed.

"Do we have any idea what caused it?" she asked.  Xander handed over Adam's report.

The doctor snatched it to look over, frowning.  "I thought this was science fiction."

"Apparently someone got it to work."   Alex sat down, staring at her.  "I don't know, Stella.  Graham found out who, we're waiting on info."

"Okay.  For right now, finish up for the day and hang out in here.  We'll move you to a lab or something if you're still in here for night shift."

"I have a nice, heavy cloak, and the company car downstairs," Graham assured her.  "We can hide at the lab."  She smiled and nodded, letting her contact go see the poor thing.

The doctor came out a few minutes later.  "I don't know how I can help.  From what I can tell, everything's in the right place."  They both nodded.  "Though she does still have a vestigial penis."  Alex shuddered, curling up some.  Graham unconsciously made sure his was still there.  "For right now, she could use a hot bath.  She's still achy.  I would like to have her do a full CT to make sure it's all there and not a problem."

"We have access to one," Graham admitted.  "We invested in a clinic and they'd do it for us."

"You guys have investments?" Stella asked.

Alex grinned.  "So we can still draw the skanky whores when we're no longer young and pretty."

She rolled her eyes.  "Better than what you usually date."

"True."  He looked at the doctor.  "Any care precautions beyond the pain?"

"Not right now.  Can they do it tonight?"

Graham called the owner of the clinic to talk to her.  He nodded after a few minutes of quiet conversation, hanging up.  "She can fit us in about four, they're going home then."  The doctor nodded.  "We can give you a ride there if you want."

"I drove," he admitted.  "Give me directions."  Graham wrote them out.  "I'll meet you two there.  Do I have to make a chart?"

"The oversight person is going to press charges and get the idiot who did this shut down, plus the reason he did it shut down.  Even if he has to storm Area 51 to get him."  Alex snorted.  "He will."

"Call O'Neill and let him know?  He's related back to him too.  That way he's aware."

"He's coming up on that thing," he said, sending him an email.  "Okay, it's three now.  Boys, let's drive through somewhere and then we'll hit the clinic?"  They nodded, Xander coming out to get the cloak.  "At least Willow didn't do it," he said quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "If she had, I would've killed her.  This one.... it's going to be messy if I get my hands on him."

"Good!" Alex agreed with a quick nod.  "I'll cheerlead."  His twin smiled and they snuck out with Stella and Graham behind them.  The doctor followed down to the parking garage.  His bike was easy enough to maneuver in mid-town traffic.


Xander walked off the airplane and grabbed her bag, heading for the cab stands.  She was nervous.  Her twin had to stay in the city for a huge trial.  She had already fought off three attempts to snatch her, and she was not up to her usual self defense abilities thanks to this new body.  She was not a happy camper by any means.   Buffy had passed out when Graham had told her.  Willow had laughed but one of the coven had yelled for over an hour for them.

So now he needed a fall back spot and he had the feeling he needed to be closer to O'Neill land.  Since someone in that kingdom of geeks had created the problem in the first place.  They hadn't heard from him yet but they'd figure it out.  The cabs were out there.  It was easy enough to get one.  The ride was pretty long but that was fine.  Most things that could teleport couldn't hit a moving target and the two snipers that had tried for him earlier wouldn't know why he had come here so they'd have no idea which route she'd take.

She paid her fare and got out, grabbing her bag before heading into the building.  Of course, they weren't in.  They were on a case.  So she left a message, got a recommendation for a very safe hotel nearby, and went there.  If they didn't get in touch within a few hours, she'd go hunting.  Denver had the highest rate of peaceful demons living in it and they wouldn't want her that much.   She hoped.


Ezra was the first back from the assignment and got the message, looking at it.  "That's a bit different," he decided on his way back out.   He went to the hotel, finding out where she was once he had pulled his badge.  So apparently they were being security conscious of the young slayer the twins had sent to be protected.  He knocked on the door, getting a young woman that looked all too familiar.  "How in God's name?" he demanded quietly.

Xander let him in.  "One of the geeks in O'Neill land got his buddy to do it because we proved he was an idiot.  We have no idea about anything yet, but so far I've fought off six demonic grab attempts and two snipers this week."

Ezra nodded.  "Calm down."  She slumped into a chair, looking at him.  He stared at her.  "Let me contact Mr. Larabee.  We'll see what we can do."  He looked her over.  "Is it reversible?"

"We don't know yet.  The oversight people are looking.  We told O'Neill that his former geeks had done it but haven't heard from him.  He might be on vacation."

"That's fine.  Stay calm and let me inform the others," he ordered.  She nodded.  "For now, rest.  You look dreadfully tired."

"I can't.  I've already had to switch rooms once thanks to someone shooting at the window.  They told me it probably wasn't related," he said dryly.

"Oh, dear.  All right, stay here.  I'll return in a few hours."  She nodded.  "Do you need the services of Nathaniel?"

"Please, Goddess, no?  I've already had one doc in to look at me and another one wants to test me and take blood and poke me places I don't want to think about having."

"That's fine.  Calm down.  Rest for a bit.  Give me an hour."  She nodded.  He left, going back to the office.  This was a very bad situation.  He walked off the elevator.  "JD, find out if the other twin has sent an email or Mr. Miller please," he ordered.  He walked into Chris's office, closing the door before looking at him.  "Did you hear anything from New York perhaps?"

"No.  Why?"

"Xander is here."  Chris groaned.  "Some unkind scientist has rendered her female."  Chris stared, mouth slightly open.  "She's so far been the target of snipers, grab attempts, and some doctors getting a bit too friendly with her person."

"Usually he can handle that stuff."

"She's two inches shorter, about thirty pounds lighter, and extremely tired."

"She's probably off-balance for fighting then.  Why not stay up there?"

JD leaned in.  "I have one from Alex saying to please guard his twin and an attachment that's password protected for you, Ezra."

"What trial are they doing right now?"

"Two huge mafia hitters," he said with a grimace.  Chris nodded.  "What's going on?"

"A bit of a story," Ezra told him.  JD handed over his laptop, letting him open the attachment and read before handing it to Chris.  Who growled.  JD fled to find Vin.  Vin would calm him down.  Growling was something that made people beg for their lives.  "I need to make a call.  I said I'd be back in about forty more minutes."

"I'm going with you," he ordered.  Ezra nodded and went to his desk to call DC.  Chris called the other twin.  "She's here," he said bluntly.  Alex babbled a bit, sounding frantic.  "What happened?"  He grimaced.  "Is that why they want her or because of the trial?"  He nodded once.  "That'll work.  Where else is your fallback spot, kid?"  He listened to the coded message since he was clearly in public.  "If something happens I'll make sure she gets there.  Calm down.  She'll be fine here."  He hung up and went to find Ezra.  "Let's go.  That trial is going to get messy.  He rolled and they were the ballistics experts that finally got him after ten years of him being a hitman."

"Coming."  He hung up after one last quiet sentence and followed down to the truck.  This was not a good thing to have happen to their quiet city.


Alex hung up and looked at the mess that had been created right before the phone call.  This was really bad.  Really, really bad.  Bordering on catastrophic.  Mac stomped his way.  "They thought I was him too," he said quietly.

"Who else was helping?" he asked.

Alex snorted.  "No one.  Including the four guards or the two other officers."  Mac nodded and glared, going to question them while Alex paced.  He'd be seeing Internal Affairs soon.  Shooting reviews happened all too fast these days, especially when you shot four dirty cops who were minor assassins in their free hours.  Especially when you had two on-duty that didn't bother to jump into the fight when they had fired on him first.  Hillbourne stomped his way and he handed over his gun properly.  "They started it."

"I've seen the tape, kid."  He stared at him.  "Where's your twin?"

He snorted, staring at him.  "You didn't hear the rumors about nanites?"

"I discounted it as being bullshit," he said bluntly.  Xander shook his head.  "Damn it, how do you two do that?"

"We discredited and fired someone.  They got their buddy.  That's related back to the company.  This is probably related to the two hitmen on trial."

"Probably," he agreed, walking him off to get him away from the bodies.  When Mac stomped over to tell him he was arresting those two, he was all for it.  And the guards.  Mac got the kid calmed down and safely in the custody of someone he trusted on the way to the airport.  They were moving the trial to DC thanks to this.  He could go hang out with some friends who were agents.


Gibbs looked up as his phone rang, walking back to answer it.  "Gibbs."  He listened.  "Why?"  He nodded once.  "We can make sure the kid is safe," he promised, making the rest of the team stare at him.  "Thank you for letting us know.  One or both?"  He nodded once.  That sounded bad.  "I can do that."  He hung up.  "DiNozzo, check your email, go confer with O'Neill about Xander, and pick up Alex.  They moved his present trial here."  He nodded, grabbing his keys to head out.  "McGee, make a rotation for DiNozzo's backup apartment.  Alex just had to shoot four officers who were moonlighting as shooters in the courthouse."  McGee shuddered and did that.  He hoped the other twin was all right wherever he was stashed at the moment.  This was not good.


Xander checked out the spyhole and opened the door, letting them inside.  She went back to sitting on the bed, curled up around her knees.  "Hi, Chris."

"Xander."  He looked at her.  "Is the idiot who did this in jail at least?"

She looked at him.  "We're trying really hard but the people O'Neill works with are blocking it."

"I'll see about that.  This assassin problem you seem to have?"

"Six months ago we got handed samples from a brilliant young CSI who was working a shooting.  One tap, long distance, through a window."  Chris nodded slowly.  "With that bullet being so different and from a fairly uncommon rifle, we were able to track the thing to the specialty shops that carry them.  There's only seven in the world.  We know about six and got the seventh from the manufacturer.

"One of the owners who knew us *real* well told us how many he sold in the last ten years, three.  We had evidence from the same gun for that long.  He also mentioned his other gun, which he had fixed recently, and had done the forms on to keep things legal because he's under investigation for selling someone something too high powered for the local's comfort levels."  That got a smirk from Ezra, who sat down.  "That gun was in the system."

"So you figured out who the hitter was," he said bluntly.

"Who used to be NYPD, who had turned some officers.  Who, I'm told, this morning turned on his clients and trainees.  Which is what happened to my twin a few minutes ago.  He's fine but heading to DC because of the attack on the courthouse."

"Who was the brilliant young CSI?" Ezra asked.  She held up her hand.  "Your twin did the ballistics?"

"Yup.  I did all the calling around though.  So my usual price on my head just went up, then this happened.  We were being cautious due to the upcoming trial.  That's why we were on edge when the letter showed up that changed me.  Then, all of a sudden, I'm a twenty-eight-year-old *powerful* potential sacrifice that would change a lot in the underground if they could capture me and take me out," he finished quietly.  "I've fought off all too many grab attempts by demons and the snipers so far.  I'm not able to fight like usual.  Can't throw a punch worth a damn right now actually."

"Calm down," Chris ordered.

"I keep hearing that," she said, looking a bit spooked.  "I don't think I'm panicking."

"Yes you are," Ezra assured her.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Are we expecting?"

"If I am, someone's going to die," she said bluntly.   "Messily."  Chris snickered as he walked over to answer the door.  A hotel worker came in.  "What's up?"

"Ma'am, that card you used...."

"Is my twin brother's.  He's presently hiding due to a trial as well."

"Oh, I see.  The manager wanted to know."

She smiled and dug into her bag, holding up the stack of cash she had on her.  The clerk smiled and nodded, leaving them alone.  She tossed it back and called Graham.  "When you have a minute free of swearing, make sure I'm on the cards?" he asked quietly.  He hung up.  "One more detail we forgot."

"We'll help," Ezra assured him.  "There is no onus on you for this going on."

She smiled.  "I'll try to hide the body if I get my hands on them."  She pulled out her laptop at the beep, getting into it and copying things down, then handing them over.  "From Graham.  An update on that case, reports from the courthouse, reports from Gibbs, and a report from O'Neill.  Someone hacked his email."

Ezra nodded.  "I called personally to make sure he had heard."  He accepted the USB drive and put it in his pocket.  "Are you safe enough tonight?"

"I hope so.  I really do hope so."

"Rest.  We'll make sure you're not alone," Chris ordered quietly.  She relaxed and nodded.  "Why come here?"

"Because it would've been more obvious if we had went to Miami," she said, sounding tired.  "Plus, Horatio's lab got green lighted by the Mala Noches."

"That's bad," Chris decided.  "Let us handle things.  Is this a suite?"  She nodded.  "All right, we'll let someone stay with you and work from here since we're on the report part of a case."  She relaxed and smiled, nodding.  "Try to rest for now.  Let me set it up.  Ezra?"

"Let me set it up, you stay.  You're more protective."  He smiled.  "Do we need to plan for female needs like shopping?"

"I'm not wearing a dress.  Or heels.  I learned enough from watching my girls and being dragged with them, but unless it's necessary I'm not doing it."

"That's fine."  He left, going back to the office.  The others were waiting.  "Give me two minutes."  He read over the information and nodded, printing out what needed to be passed on.  The team had a meeting with their supervisor as well because he had to know that this was that bad.


Graham hung up and called his contacts to get them new cards.  "I totally forgot that she's not going by her own name," he muttered.  Alex snickered, nodding he had too.  "So let me fix that and get her some backup."


"Welcome.  We'll turn it over to O'Neill if he gets out to handle it.  He's got good people."

"I hope they can fix it."

"Me too.  It's weird looking at her and thinking she's pretty."  Alex hit him on the arm but it wasn't too hard so he knew he wasn't in trouble.  "Are you going to tell Zach and Spenser?"

"I think Danny told Spenser.  For some reason Garcia sent me a video of Spenser choking and spluttering for almost twenty minutes."

"Yeah, if it hadn't been critical, I would've too," Graham decided.  He got everything set up and sent to Denver via courier he trusted.  It'd be a legitimate excuse for his guy to go protect her.   They already knew she couldn't fight like normal so when she found that lesbian serial killer Denver presently had problems with, and she would because she was a Xander, then she'd need the help.


Alex came off the plane and found Tony waiting on him at the gate.  "Tony."  He gave him a short hug, looking at him.  "I'm sorry they're causing such problems."

"I'm not.  They need to go away for good and this is doing it."  He walked him off, ignoring the stares.  Two FBI agents came their way.

"For us?" he asked quietly.

"Probably since they have that agent look of unholy glee," Tony said dryly, pulling his ID.  "Boys, problems?"

"Yes, Agent DiNozzo, we were asked to help sit on the protection detail for him."

Alex nodded.  "Think it'll help?" he asked.  Tony shook his head.  "Why not?"

"We have a safe backup apartment.  They don't know who it belongs to.  Gibbs is already making it secure enough."

Xander nodded.  "Then I'll let you guys do the departmental pissing match stuff.  I don't care.  I'm exhausted, guys."  They nodded and led him out to the cars.  They could follow in an SUV.  "That's noticeable."

"It is," Tony sighed.  He called Gibbs to warn him then pulled out of the garage and onto the highway.  The attack they were expecting the whole trip finally happened right before they pulled into the shipyards.  Two black SUV's that looked like the agents' pulled up to surround them.  They were a block from the base's gates.  It was an industrial area.  They didn't even bother getting out of the car before opening fire.  That made Tony and Alex both flee when one got near the gas tank and head for a parking lot and better cover.  Tony swore as the agent's SUV was hit with an anti-tank rocket.  "Alex?" he called.

"Shit," he replied back.  "I'm *so* not happy.  What's my limit, Tony?"

"If you got it, use it.  Now if possible."

Alex pulled out something and opened the small case.  Inside was stuff Willow had done for emergency attacks, like dates according to her note.  He reached in and grabbed something, smiling as it rolled off.  The other got the other SUV.  They went 'boom' loud enough to rattle nearby windows.  Alex grinned at his buddy.  "Takes out all problems of depth perception when I'm tired."

"What were those?" he demanded.

"Programable anti-tank bombs.  They'll go about 100 meters then explode."  He looked.  "The other guys."  He went to check but they were dead.  Cops were rushing their way.  Tony was on the phone with Gibbs, pulling him closer to check him out.  "I'm fine.  Two grazes that ache like a bitch.  A turned ankle.  I'm good.  You?"

"I'm fine.  A few grazes, yeah," he said then hung up.  "Boys, NCIS," he called, holding up his ID.  He pointed.  "That had two FBI agents who were sent to help me protect this CSI who is a witness at an upcoming mafia trial.  They weren't," he said with a point at the others.

The officers came over.  "Agent..."

"DiNozzo.  NCIS."

"That explains why they hit you here," one said, looking at the young one.  "Do we know you, sir?"

Xander shrugged.  "I was an intern at NCIS almost two years ago now so maybe from the local forensics program or from one of the serial killers I dated."

"Oh, you're *Harris*!" he said, nodding.  "Mafia trial?"

"My twin and I found a cop who turned," he said bluntly.  "They're moving the trial after four more tried to take me out before I could testify."

The cops nodded and more cars sped up and screeched to a halt.  "Gibbs is here," one announced.

Tony smirked.  "He was faster than usual too.  We're good, boss."  He looked at him, letting him have the kid to guard for now.  "Xander, can I see that box later?"

"Maybe."  He made sure he still had it.  He looked at Gibbs again.  "Thank you," he said quietly.

"Go sit in my car, Xander."  He nodded, going to curl up in the backseat for now.  He needed a nap.  Gibbs looked around.  "What caused the explosion, DiNozzo?"

"Something Xander had, boss.  Like an ELF only smaller and explosive."

Gibbs nodded at that.  He had seen their tank Pippen in action one weekend.

"ELF?" one of the officers asked.

"They make a little video surveillance, can make coffee and deliver things, tank," Tony told them with a smile.  "It's the most helpful thing and does surveillance as well.  He had some little short range explosive spider-looking things that caused them to explode after they used the anti-tank rocket on the federal SUV.  I told him to use it if he had it."

"The other two have federal plates," one noted.

Gibbs walked over to look and call Abby so she could trace them.  "Both retired due to accidents that lead to deaths," he said quietly, letting the officer make that note.  He checked, the kid was napping.  "He must be exhausted, this is his second today," he said quietly, walking back.  "DiNozzo, take him and put him in Ducky and Abby's care for now.  Then come back."  Tony nodded, taking the keys to drive him to safety.  Gibbs watched the fire crews until the SUVs were put out.  "Let me know how many in their vehicles."

"We can turn the case over, Agent Gibbs," the officer assured him.  "This is going to be a federal matter anyway with the two deaths."

"Agreed.  Thank you."  The officer finished his forms while Fornell drove over with his people.  He and Gibbs shook hands.  "Thank you for sending two to try to guard the kid."

"I didn't.  That's what took me so long.  They were former agents."


"No.  No ties to any of that disgusting mess back in Sunnydale.  I don't know if Miller might've asked for a favor from someone.  I can't get him."

"I can."  He called Tony.  "Ask Miller if he sent those two agents accompanying you two."  He hung up.  "He'll find out."

"Good."  He looked at the mess.  "What did that?"

"Short range, robotic, explosive spiders according to DiNozzo."

Fornell shook his head quickly.  "Those two are warped."  He went to nag his people for information.

Gibbs got a ride back to the office, finding Ducky bandaging DiNozzo's wounds.  "Bad?" he asked as he walked in.

"No, not terribly so," Ducky said with a smile for him.  "Much less than I would've expected given that problem."  He looked at Tony then at Gibbs again.  "Abigail already has him on her office futon, Jethro.  The poor boy is exhausted.  Between this and the threats to his twin...."

"Hold on, it's a different case for the other one?" Gibbs demanded.  "Where is he?"

"With someone's more protective than you are, boss," Tony answered.

Gibbs considered that.  "Larabee?"  Tony nodded.  "That's even better.  Should we warn them about this?"

"Oh, they probably know," Tony said dryly.  "I told Graham and he swore a bit but promised he'd tell them.  And no, he didn't hire those two agents.  He had no idea who they were."

"Interesting."  He went to check on the kid then call Miller himself to see if he had found anything about them since he'd have already started looking.  Abby had the airport surveillance by now to get a visual ID from them.


Graham looked over the report then went to talk to the design panel.  "When did they build the robotic, explosive spiders?" he asked.

They looked up from their lunch meeting/trash talking about Kavanagh meeting.  "We did?" the head of the panel asked.  "I don't remember them coming across my desk."

"Apparently Alex pulled two out to help stop the issues in DC."

"Then it's probably in their toy vault," she decided.  They all looked at her oddly.  "Originally the boys started out designing toys that amused them and for things like patrol needs while still in Sunnydale."  Graham nodded he knew that.  "Then they discovered people would pay them big bucks for the some of the toys so SI was started after they got back from Africa.  I have no idea where the toy vault is but no one, even Tony, you, Faith, no one, is allowed in there.  I think they decided you'd throw a fit."

"Would others consider these toys to be big business or dangerous?" he asked, sounding amused.

"I guess it depends on what you're going to do with them," another of the board said.   "Robotic spiders?"

"Explosive, short range, robotic spiders," Graham told her.  "Apparently strong enough to blow up a car."

They all nodded.  "That sounds like the twins," the head of the board said dryly.  "How is Xander doing?"

"Fine so far.  Still a bit creeped out.  She told me she took a shower without looking at herself today."  They all smiled at him.  "We'll see but we might be behind this quarter."

"We have ninety-three open designs in front of us.  If the boys don't do anything... then maybe they'll release something in the toy vault."

"Ninety-three?  Is our new engineer having mood swings with artillery?"  They all grinned and nodded.  "Then I'll be extra nice.  Thank you."  He walked off to see if he could find that vault.  How had Xander gotten them to DC?  They hadn't stopped back here before he left.  Was he storing them at the office maybe?  He called Mac to have him check.  He knew they had some stuff up there in case of another lab assault situation.  Maybe that's where they came from instead of the mythical toy vault.


Mac hung up and went to check ballistics.  "Chad, have you seen evidence of spiders in here?"

"I saw a daddy long legs in the break room but not in here.  Why, Mac?"

"No, a robotic one.  Graham said Alex used one to blow up a car that was attacking him."

Chad considered it.  "No, I definitely haven't seen anything like that, Mac.  Is he all right?"

"He's fine.  Graham said he's napping at NCIS right now."  That got a small smile.  "But you haven't seen them importing more than the few bigger things in their personal exemplar?"

"No.  I try very hard not to get too greedy to pet those things.  They're a bit possessive of their stuff."

Mac smiled.  "I doubt they'd mind if you petted, as long as you let them clean things."

"I can do that," he agreed, happier now.  "How long do we think this will take?"

"Who knows.  I'm hoping that we've run out of his proteges and clients."  He left, going to tell Graham they weren't there.  So how had Xander gotten them before he had left for the airport?  And who made robotic spiders that exploded anyway.


Tony looked at Alex later that night.  "Graham has no idea where the spiders came from."

Alex nodded.  "The toy vault."  He grinned.  "Willow gave us an emergency link in case we needed it for dating purposes.  I can't grab much but I can grab things near it.  We always keep some really handy things next to it."

"Huh.  Have any more of those so we can look them over?"

Alex opened it and felt around then pulled one out.  "We've only got two more so be careful and don't destroy it."  Tony nodded, taking it to look over.  Alex wrote his twin a note so she could build some.  It'd take her mind off her new nipples itching and her girl parts being confusing.  Maybe they'd stick with guys from now on since they were so creeped out by girl things again.

Tony walked the spider out to Gibbs and Fornell.  "It's from their toy vault, guys."  He sat down.  "They only have two more left so don't hurt it."

They picked it up to look over, shaking their heads at the thing.  "What's the explosive?" Fornell asked.  "Kid."  He came to the doorway.  "What's the explosive?"

"It's a chemical one."  He went back to his email.

"Make sure you're going through a secure server," Tony called.

"I am."

"Thank you."  He took it back.  Gibbs looked at it.  It fit in the palm of his hand.  It looked like a tarantula, painted like it too.  "I wonder if they could put AV equipment on it," Tony said.  "That would be one of the best hidden bugs if so."

"I'll ask my evil other half.  She needs something to do," Alex called.

"She?" Fornell asked.  Tony filled him in on that problem.  "No wonder O'Neill looked ready to kill when he left the congressional meeting the other day."  He shook his head quickly to clear it.  "Is that one in New York being guarded by Taylor and Miller?"

"No, apparently this has made the mystical sort want her even more at the moment so she's found an even more protective sort."

"There are?" Fornell asked.


"Do we know them?" Fornell asked.

"Think...  City of conspiracy."

"Ah!" he said, nodding when he got it.  "Tanner can be.  His whole team is said to be very protective."  Fornell smirked.  No, she wasn't going to have many problems at all.


Xander drew up a list and handed it to JD along with some cash.  "I need a project."  He grinned and went to shop for her.  She sat down, getting dealt into the hand of cards the others were playing.  "Alex is fine.  They tried to attack him in DC but he fixed it with Tony."  Someone knocked so Chris got up to answer it, waving Xander over.  "That's General O'Neill.  He's cool and he might have the answer to fix this."  Chris let him in.  "Hi."

Jack stared at her before stepping in.  "I got their files; I'm handing it to my people once I get to Cheyenne, Xander.  Are you good?"

"No, I'm still freaking out."  He shrugged and slumped, leaning against a wall.

"Women shouldn't stand like that," Nathan said quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "Even as a guy I slump.  My back hurts otherwise and having tits makes it worse."  He looked at Jack again.  "Did you get the letter?"

"I did.  Why?"

"That's what they're on."

"Ah!"  He nodded.  "Good thing I kept it bagged.  I don't think I wouldn't finish going insane if it were me."

Xander nodded.  "I'm about there.  I did not need this extra threat right now."

"I heard about the trial."  He stared at her.  "Give me a few days.  You know I have some of the biggest geeks on staff."

"They can't arrest the ones who did it because their head geek is obstructing things so can I kill him?"

"I might let you gut them both," Jack admitted.  "Let me see what I can do, kid.  You staying here?"  Xander nodded.  A demon showed up and Xander threw his knife at it, making it scream and disappear.  "Nice shot."  He patted her on the shoulder.  "Relax, destress.  Calm down.  Let me talk to my people."  She nodded and he left, going to shudder in the car.  That was *so* bad.

Chris smirked at him.  "He can get the geek out of wherever?"

"Yeah.  He heads a special ops project that we like to sell to.  The guy behind this problem was originally his geek."  She sat down again.  "Ezra, do you telepathically read what our cards are?" she asked after exchanging a few.

He smiled.  "No, I have no need of reading minds, Xander."

"Damn, I was trying to figure out an explanation for why I never win against you."  She folded and got a cup of soda then came back to join the next hand.  The others could laugh but that was the only rational explanation Xander could find.


O'Neill walked into Landry's office.  "We have a small geek problem."

"What now?" Landry complained, tossing down his pen.  He took the folder of information, reading it over.  "It might be handy for undercover agents," he said.

"It got used on one of the Harris twins."  Landry chuckled.  "She's a pretty girl but it's causing hell right now.  Keep going."  Landry kept reading, moaning at the reason and that it wasn't fixable as far as they knew.  "I need geeks who know nanites and to arrest those two since they're hiding and agents can't get in to get them."

"I can have them brought here to be arrested, Jack."  He handed it back.  "I don't think we have any nanite specialists right now.  Let me check.  Is she healthy?"

"She looked tired and sore."

"Poor thing."  He looked at the classification of specialities they had available.  "Our last one went to another DOD think tank."

"Which one?"

"Classified."  He looked up and smirked.  "It's under McMahon and others."

"I know that one.  I've went there to recruit before."  That got a nod.  "Let me go talk to them to see if they can help.  You get those two arrested because Xander is going to kill them."  He left, going to catch a flight to Oregon.  It'd take too long to drive.  The longer this went on, the harder it was to solve.  Though he would be dealing with whoever had hacked his email as well.  Just... after this project was shut down.


Jack used his Pentagon ID to get into the building and to the director's office.  "Doctor Blake."

"General O'Neill.  We don't usually see you."  She smiled and shook his hand.  "What can I do for you?"

"I need a nanite specialist."


"A few of our former geeks were maliciously playing around with some and used them on one of our favorite weapons designers."

"Are they military?"

"No.  Geeky twin CSI who own a design firm."  He handed over that file.

She read it over, grimacing.  "That's not good."

"We're hoping they can find a way to fix it relatively quickly."

"I hope so too.  It's got to be worrying him."  She got up and led him down to where he needed to go.  "Parks."  He jumped and gave her a dirty look.  "Here, figure out if one of you can undo this."

He took the file to read over, grimacing.  "My former student.  How charming of him."  He looked at the general.  "Why do this?"

"They kicked his buddy out of his job when he was found to be inferior and a problem."

"Kavanagh?"  O'Neill nodded with an evil smirk.  "Thank God.  Where is he dirtying now?"

"Area 51.  Both of them are.  They're being arrested sometime tonight."

"Even better."  He looked at the bagged letter.  "It was in here?"

"According to the NYPD forensics report, they're in the paper somehow."  The scientists looked at him oddly.  "The person it was done to got hit in the lab."

"Oh, dear."  He took the bag to his system so he could scan them in and see what they were made of.   He hummed a jazz song while he went over the things.  "I think a good EMP would kill them off and therefore change him back."  He looked up.  "But that is fairly dangerous for a human body."

Jack considered it.  "The kid might go for it.  Any other way to shut them down?"

"No, it doesn't look like my idiot student built in a shut off or a reverse.  So if they're used as he intended, then they'd have to take a new dose to be themselves again.  Very sophisticated work but clearly inferior."  He got back to his scanning it.  It was a wonderful problem.  "I'll give you a report on what I can do tonight.  Go eat or something."  He waved a hand without looking back at them.

"Page me when you have it," Doctor Blake ordered, walking the general off to talk to him.  She wanted to look at the new weapons designs.  She was always looking for talented staff.


Alex got off the phone with Graham.  "The design board picked the current stuff to test.  Our newest engineer is having bad mood swings."  He sat down, looking over at Abby since she was babysitting him today.   "Is there any news from the trial?"

"Not yet."  She grinned.  "What else is in your toy vault."

He smirked.  "Mean, evil things that amused us."  She swatted him.  "Sorry, no access other than us two.  Not even for slayer weapons."

"I guess that's fine.  Since we know about the spiders are you going to update them?"

"Xander is working on a few.  If she wants to make them more applicable then she can do that."  Someone pounded on the door but they heard the thump of them hitting the ground before they could move.  "Huh."  He went to check then came back.  "An FBI agent just got pounced."  He sat down again.   "Any idea how much longer this is going to take?  I'm missing the smell of gunpowder floating around me."

She giggled.  "Maybe another few days."

"Good."  Gibbs walked in and looked at him.  "What?"

"Graham didn't send this former FBI agent either."

"Hmm."  He called someone.  "It's Alex.  Yes, 2.  Who is sending former FBI agents to me?"  He listened to the theories.  "No, not them.  Yeah, to protect me from what they said.  The first got killed in the assault here."  He nodded, making notes.  "Thank them for me.  Tell them to talk to Gibbs in person too please.  Thanks."  He hung up, handing over that note.  "They're sending them.  No idea why."

"That's a Russian mafia head," Gibbs said, staring at him.  Alex shrugged.  "No clue why?"

"Maybe it's a new suitor," Abby quipped.

"That's actually a possible reason," Alex reminded her.  Gibbs walked off groaning.  He sent an email to his twin about that.  She hacked better and it'd give her more to do.  Better a busy mind than thinking bad, evil thoughts.


Xander read her email, bringing it out to Chris.  "We have no idea."

Chris read it over.  "New date?" he quipped dryly.

"No clue.  I'm going to look at them."

"JD, hack this person, find out why they want to protect the twins."  JD grabbed the laptop to get the email and work on it from his own.  Chris grinned at her.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  JD got a brown paint that was too brown so I had to adjust some arms."  She went back to her bedroom.

"Arms?" Chris called.

"She had me get her some stuff to build something," JD told him.

Chris went to look, staring at the little things on the bed.  "Usually women scream at spiders."

Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Sometimes I do as a guy too," she quipped.  "These are special spiders.  Since my twin had to expose that we had them.  I'm working on a way for them to download a lot of video and then send it in one large bunch but stay in place."

"You guys usually make robotic surveillance spiders?"

"No, usually we make explosive robotic spiders."  She smiled.  "They're very helpful sometimes."

"That wouldn't do more than a heating duct though.  Not at that size."

"Ask Tony, he saw them in action."  Chris went to do that.  She got to work on the plans for the remote download problem.  It was a neat idea.  It'd let someone dial in to get info but it was more subtle.  Maybe Radek's people would like it for remote use.  Rumors had them dealing with remote issues.

Chris got the video the FBI had found from a parking lot camera, watching it.  His mouth dropped open at the explosions.  "Harris!"  She came out to look over his shoulder.  He rewound it and let her see it.  "They're that powerful?"

"Yeah."   She grinned.  "JD can't get me the chemicals."

"Thankfully," he said dryly.   "Can we look one over in case someone else gets a bright idea?"

She considered it then shrugged.  "Alex has the emergency drop from the toy vault."

"Build another one," he said bluntly.

Xander nodded.  "I need to get some chemicals."  Chris nodded, grabbing his jacket.  She went to put on something other than sweats.  They left together.  She had her paperwork from the oversight board so no one would bother her about a chemical buy.  Graham had included that with the credit cards.


Xander got it finished later that night and brought them out.  "Flip the switch to on, flip it to 25, 50, 75, or 100 meters, then put it down in the direction you want.  It explodes when it's reached that distance.  We have a few with remote controls but it's not really practical in a firefight or when you're being held in a room."

"When did you design these?" Chris asked, looking them over.

"Back in high school when we had problems with vamps hiding in the a/c ducts one night."

Chris and Ezra, the only ones there, gave her an odd look.  "You were designing weapons in high school?" Ezra asked.

Xander grinned.  "For patrol needs.  It was a wishful thinking back then.  We found out we can actually do that sort of stuff while in Africa.  Then we started the company when we got back.  Those are toy vault only."

"I'd like to see that toy vault some day," Ezra told her.

She smirked.  "Sorry, me and my twin only.  Graham would freak out if we let him look."  She sat down.  "Those two can be tested if you want, Chris."

"I'll test one tonight," he promised.  "Thanks, kid.  Will the others be surveillance?"  She nodded.  "Decent."  He took it to the office to test it out.  He went up to his boss.  "Harris just made this for us.  Apparently it's what helped when her twin was pinned down in DC."

The judge looked at the thing in his hand.  "That's very realistic looking."

"Very," Chris agreed.  "It's powerful enough to blow up an SUV."


"She said we can test this one and she's been working on some surveillance ones."

"Even better.  Let's go test this."  They went down to the testing area together.  Chris had the geeks down there set up a pile of bricks with a hole for the spider to be under, then monitors to be put around the room so they could tell how powerful it was.  "The explosive might be their creation as well," he said quietly to his boss.  "I've never heard of it before."

"Excellent.  On the market?"

"She called it their personal toy vault.  Not even their people are allowed in it."

"Even better."  Chris set the range and backed up a few more feet then let it go.  It walked in a straight line, moving like a spider would.  It entered the hole under the bricks then went another two feet.  Then it exploded.  The bricks were dust.  The monitors were knocked down.  So were they.  AD Travis pushed himself up off the floor with a moan.  "That's a heavy explosion for such a little package."

Chris moaned as he stood up.  "Yup.  Was it under the bricks?" he called to the monitoring tech on that side.

"Barely, Agent Larabee.  Did it have a timer?"

"Distance switch."

"Huh."  He got the results off their monitors and handed it over.  "Is this on the black market?"

"No, two goofy, twin artillery designers have them for emergency use."

He nodded.  "Good to know."

"Not in the public view," Travis told her.

"That's fine.  I'm amazed."  He walked off to make notes on the test in case they came up with another one.  His secretary got the tape for Chris so he could store it for agent training too.

Chris took the DVD with a smirk.  "Thank you."  He looked at his boss once they were in the elevator.  "I like those two, even when they are being mean."

"I'd prefer them not to have to be paranoid."

"Us too but the tank is neat enough."

Travis smirked at him.  "You're so spoiled by that thing."  He went to his office to make notes on that test.  Chris got the tank and brought it back to the hotel room.  It could help guard the kid.


General Landry looked at his head of science.  "Captain Carter, I have two Area 51 people who are refusing to show up.  I need you to retrieve them."  He handed over two little sticky pads.  "Those are targets, let Ellis know when you have them tagged."

"Which ones, sir?"  He handed over their dossiers.  "What did he do this time?"  He handed over a copy of the other folder.  She growled.  "He did what!" she demanded.

"They have him hidden too much to arrest," he said bluntly.  "Get them back here however you can."

"Yes, sir, my pleasure."  She saluted and left, going to huff on the way to Arizona.  They would not get in her way.  Too bad she couldn't bring Cam and Teal'c.  They could run interference for her.  How dare they start making artificial women!


Xander let Jack in with his friend.  "You found a solution?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"We found the frequency we need to zap you with to kill them," Jack said.  "And made some to return you to a guy, Xander."  She hugged him.  Jack pushed her back.  "The problem is that it's an EMP pulse.  That's going to possibly hurt you or kill you."

Xander stared at him.  "I've nearly died a few times.  Make sure I have someone there to do CPR?"

"Of course.  We'd miss your goofball inventions," he complained.  Xander beamed and got one, letting him see it.  "Is that a spy camera....?"  He looked it over.  "Huh."

"You can remote download it.  I'm working on the small, quiet beep it gives off when you connect but otherwise it's a neat little thing."

"I like that one better than the explosive version," Chris agreed from his seat.  "We might ask to borrow one of those."

Xander smirked at him.  "Toy vaults are twins only unless we marry someone who can help us."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at O'Neill.  "Do we need special gear or any precautions done?  A hospital bed waiting?"

"Probably," Jack admitted, handing the spider back.  The thing got put on the wall and it stuck.  "How....."

Xander grinned.  "One of our slayers found it."  He grinned at the scientist.  "How soon?"

"It'd be three days between the EM pulse and doing the undo nanites.  Now, it will cause some pain."

"I'm told that I passed out due to it on the way to this form.  And I really want my penis back soon.  Please?"

"We'll arrange it so we can do it tomorrow," Jack promised.  He looked at Chris.  "I'm here to help watch over the kid since there's rumors that someone is going to try the company by taking her out."

"We've seen that twice already," Chris admitted.  "Plus a few who wanted her because she's never touched a guy."

Xander nodded.  "That's almost freaky."  He looked at Jack.   "How is DC doing?"

"Your twin has been in NCIS or Quantico every day since he flew down.  They're holding the trial in a secret location in DC.  They sneak him out of whichever building to it and back so it looks like he never left."

"Is the NCIS director causing problems?"

"No, she was horrified when one managed to break in all the way to the lab and your twin had to shoot him before the idiot shot Abby."  Xander stared at him.  Jack smiled.  "Perfectly shot and she's safe."

"I wondered why no one's told me anything."

"Gibbs said he was worried you'd turn into Xena," Jack quipped.

Xander grinned.  "Well, I do look hot with a sword and do have leather."  Chris choked, shaking his head.  She grinned at him.  Then at the scientist.  "Okay, explain to me what's going to happen."  They sat down to talk while Jack and Chris went over what would be needed.  That way no one would be able to grab her from the hospital either.


Alex looked at the two people who had just fallen to their knees in front of him.  "What are you two doing?" he asked.

"Our Lord and Master said to protect you, Great One," one said quietly.

"Are you demonic?" he asked.  Abby gave him a worried look.  "It's an option," he reminded her.

"Not a good one," she shot back.

One of the guards looked at him.  "No, Great One.  Our Lord and Master said that you are his to guard and this has fouled things horribly.  It has caused our Lord and Master much anger."

"Who is your Lord and Master?" Abby asked.

"We are not to call him by name," the other told her.  "Or this one.  Those are the only code names we are allowed to use."

Alex considered it.  "Does your Lord and Master have a sister and a dead brother maybe?"  The talkative one nodded, looking amazed he knew that.  "Okay.  That's Rasputin's brother then.  You do know that he's mostly insane?"

"Yes, Great One."

"My name is Alex.  Use it.  And I'm not his.  We are not dating."  He looked at Abby, who called Hotch down since they were in Quantico today.  She and Garcia had been having lunch.  Spenser and Derek came down.  "Guys, did you know Rasputin's brother considered me his?"

"We weren't keeping an eye on him," Spenser said, looking at them.  "He's the one sending the former agents?"


"Huh," Derek said, pulling them up.  "Come talk to us about this situation and what you guys know.  That way we can work that into our orders."  They nodded and looked at Alex, who pointed.  They followed him.  "He's safe enough in here."

"We have heard that some of the people here are hostile toward him."

"That's because they don't like us designing artillery."  He looked at Abby once they were out of hearing range.  "Is it me?" he asked her quietly.

She gave him a hug.  "It's not you, Alex."  She walked him back up there with Spenser snickering beside them.  "What about his sister?"

"Still insane," Spenser assured her.  "I'm fairly certain they're both still hospitalized too."  He went to his desk to check on that.  Because this was really amusing.  A serial killer protecting his wanted date Alex was so *cute*.


Xander hung up with her twin, looking at Jack.  "Rasputin's brother is the one sending the extra agents to guard Alex."  Jack moaned, shaking his head.  "He's still batshit insane too."

"At least his brother isn't around to complicate matters since he was out of the hospital," Ezra offered.

"Please don't suggest that they come out here," Jack said.  Ezra only smiled.  "That's mean to us."

"He's having fun picking," Chris said, shooting Ezra a dirty look.  He got a smirk back.  "For that you should have to take her shopping or something."

"No, because I would make sure she looked like a classical lady."  He went back to his book.

"Eww, dresses," Xander said, shuddering.  Jack patted her on the arm.  "What am I ordering for dinner?"

"Food," they all replied.  She had asked that each time and then pouted when they weren't specific or asked for anything.  It was fun taking her mind off girl things.

JD knocked then walked in and shut the door.  "Chris, Team 6 got taken hostage earlier."  He groaned, grabbing his gun while Ezra got his own jacket and gun back in his holster.  "Sorry, Xander."

"Please, save them.  Need stuff?"

"No.  You stay here and be guarded by the general and our tank."  They left together.

Xander went back to petting the tank while programming some new features into it.  Jack shook his head, getting up to check the doorway and the windows.  "Wait to order until they get back," he said quietly.

"Of course.  It's safer."  Jack smiled and got comfortable again.  Xander went back to his fussing.  Maybe he'd work on the long-distance spider's beep some more.  She went to get it and her laptop, sitting down to work on the beep issue.

"That's quiet," Jack said.

"It can still be picked up in a quiet room."

"True, but not it's not too noticeable."  Xander smiled and kept fussing with it until the beep was cut down to nearly nothing.  "How do you see that being useful for us, kid?"

She smirked.  "Since I know what you do and someone told me *how* you get there."  Jack shook his head.  "You can drop one and then dial in to connect and download but leave it there."

Jack nodded, considering that.  "I'll talk to my geeks, see if that's a need they have.  Guys like Chris would have a good use for it too.  Especially if you could make the AV only versions smaller and less noticeable types of spiders."

"I might."  He went to get that one and some extra things, redoing the arms so it looked more like a daddy long legs instead.  The body could be shrunk some but it would sacrifice the storage.  They'd have to log in more often.  That worked better and it worked with the tank.  He programmed the tank with how to release them if it was carrying them.  Jack smiled and watched it be tested in the room.  "That should help."

"A lot."  He coughed, looking around.  "What is that smell?"

Xander shrugged, looking around too.  "No idea."  She saw Jack pass out and hit the emergency key that shut down her computer and locked it, stuffing it in the tank as she was starting to fade.  "Guard," he ordered.  The tank pulled out weapons and got ready for whoever broke in.  She passed out next to it.  Someone broke in and the tank shot its ball at it.  The man yelped and the one behind him managed to trip over him.  The rest of their team got hit by the tank's little weapons as well.  Two went down.  Three still managed to carry her out.  Their people would be rescued later.


Alex hung up after the emergency code hit his phone.  "Someone's attacking Xander," he announced.  "She just hit the emergency code for her laptop."  Gibbs called out there.  Alex grimaced, getting into his laptop.  "Hmm.  Yes you can remote dial the tank," he decided.  He found one option in it for the spiders and got into them.  "Good going, less evil twin," he muttered.  "Gibbs, got a camera.  Actually I have a few cameras around the room."  He came over to look over his shoulder.  "Looks like some sort of knock out gas and the tank got a few since those aren't on the local ATF team."  He zoomed in on one.  "That one's on the NYPD most wanted list."

Gibbs nodded, adding that.   They'd handle it well enough.  Larabee was pissed as hell.  The same people had taken a team hostage as a distraction.


JD heard the swearing and logged into the tank's cameras.  "The general's unconscious and there's three others but I can't see Xander, Chris."

He looked and nodded.  "That's what I'm seeing too, Gibbs.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Ezra, go find her.  Arrest them.  Alex said one's on the NYPD list."  He nodded, hurrying off to do that while the rest of them handled the hostage situation.  JD got a nod so he went as well.  He was more use there.  "Damn it," Chris muttered.  He went back to working on the plans to get the other team free.  The rest of the teams were out of the area working or else he'd turn it over.  The local agencies weren't ones he trusted with this sort of thing.

They'd handle it, even if they did have to rescue her later.  She could protect herself most of the time.


Mac got the courtesy phone call from Alex and swore.  He was not a happy Marine today.  Stella and Don both backed away from him slowly.  "Someone kidnaped Xander."

"Are they part of why he's out there?" Don asked.

"No.  He's part of another problem that may be company related, they're not sure."

"Charming," Don said sarcastically.  "Do they need us?"

"No, Larabee is good."  Don nodded at that, leaving it there.  "But you may have to go out to take custody of some people."

"I can do that."  He called Alex to see what was going on and which people.  He could fly out that night if he had to.  He didn't have a date or anything else that might need him in town.

Stella looked at Mac.  "Xander said they figured out how to solve it.  They were going to do that tomorrow.  Then three days to do the reversal."

Mac grimaced but nodded.  "At least we've had her working out there."

"Plus she said she's been working on some stuff."

"Clearly.  I got an email about spiders."  She smirked as she walked off.  Mac sighed and let it go at that.  He had to calm himself down.  This city still had too many problems for him to stay mad at something going on in Denver.  He would stay worried but anger had to be put aside.


Xander woke up tied to a chair.  She was about to sigh 'not this again' when a male voice cleared his throat.  She looked at him.  "Good, you are awake," he said with a smug sounding Russian accent.

"Unfortunately I'm not awake where I should be.  Do you have any idea why that is?" she quipped back.

He smirked.  "Because you will be mine."

She stared at him.  "Let's cut the shit, dude.  Even if you rape me, kill me, and then forge my signature on forms, the company goes to my twin.  It's in my will.  Even if I'm married it goes to my twin."

He laughed.  "I'm sure that will not happen.  You could help me do great things."

Xander stared at him.  "I doubt it."

"I think you could."  He moved closer.  "You have many gifts."  He stroked her cheek.  She kicked at him, making him back up.  "Ah, you are feisty.  A proper woman who will give me many years of pleasure in and out of the office."

"Not likely and not really a woman," Xander quipped.  He laughed.  She worked her wrists to see if she could get free.

"You will damage your delicate skin."

She gave him a dirty look.  "I'm not fragile.  Thank you anyway."  She kept working.

"You will not get free unless you give in to me."

She stared at him.  "When I get free I'm going to cut you into bait chunks."  She considered it, then managed to get her thumb dislocated.  She got a hand free.  He moved to stop her but she moved and used the chair to block him.  It was heavy and the other handcuff got freed when the arm of the chair broke.  That gave her a stake and a few other sharp and pointy objects.  He laughed but she avoided his grab attempt.  She moved, checking around.  No other weapons.  Well, she was trained to stake.  He laughed and moved closer.  She let him get close enough then lunged and got him in the stomach with a spin kick then the stake got his cheek instead of his eye, unfortunately.

"You bitch," he sneered.

"Told you I'm not an easy target.  Who the fuck are you?"

"No good woman talks like that," he sneered.

"I'm not really a woman."  He smirked at the horrified look.  "Sorry, it's all due to nanites."  He lunged and she fought back harder.  She was still off-balance and weaker but oh well.  The door blew in and she didn't even stop.

"Freeze, Denver PD!" someone shouted.

Xander panted, looking at the officer.  "He kidnaped me.  He's trying to rape me and kill me.  Do you maybe wanna help me here?"

"Both of you freeze!" he ordered.  Xander stepped back.  The man tried to grab her again but she kicked him in the stomach.   "You too!" he shouted at her.

She looked at him.  "Dude, I'm NYPD.  Fuck it and arrest him!  He *kidnaped* me!"

The officer called for backup.  "Put the weapon down."

"Put him in cuffs and I will."


She stared at him.  "Put him in cuffs and I'll let you put me in cuffs if you want, Junior.  I'm not disarming myself until he's in cuffs.  He kidnaped me," she repeated at his glare.  "I'm the fucking victim!"

"I don't care!  He's not armed and you are!"

She snorted.  "Fine."  She put it down and the man tried her again.  She kicked him at the officer and when the officer didn't help she sighed and decided she was going to have to show her ass.   Oh, to have a *real* officer with *brains* with her right now!   She did a pretty foot sweep and the idiot fell down.  She backed off shaking her head.  Two more officers came in.  "Finally!" she shouted.  "This idiot on the ground kidnaped me from my hotel room.  I'm an NYPD CSI.  This idiot wanted me to disarm myself while he was still attacking me."

The older officer stared at her.  "Got your ID on you, miss?"

"Because most kidnapers bring it with you," she snorted.  "None of mine ever have."

"We'll need to take you both into custody then."

"That's fine.  My thumb's dislocated because I had to get out of the chair he had me handcuffed to."  She held up her hand.

"You fought him off with that injury?" the first officer asked.  "I couldn't tell."

She looked at him.  "Some women aren't weak little whiny things.  Some of us have fought for *years*."  She looked at the other officers.  "I'll gladly go with you.  Just get him first."

"We'll be taking you both in," the older officer agreed.  "Step this way please?"  She moved that way.  "Do we know who he is?"

"Beyond annoying, Russian, wanting to kill me and rape me?  He wants the company I half-own."  She shrugged.  "I don't know.  I heard rumors that there was some Russian mafia head who wants my company."

"What sort of company is it?" the first officer asked.

"I design artillery."  She smiled.  "I'm also a ballistics tech."  That got an odd look.  She smirked.  "Guns are nice."  She let the officer cuff her since the other was being cuffed.  She winced and moved her wrists some.  The officer looked and let her free, picking up one wrist to look at.  "I had to so I could get free," she said quietly.  JD stomped in.  "Hi, JD."

"Xander."  He gave her a hug, pulling her over to look over.  "Guys, leave her alone.  He kidnaped her from her hotel room."

"Who're you?" the first officer demanded.  He pulled his ID with a sneer.  The officer backed down.  "Should we talk to any other agents?" he asked more meekly.

"No, our team is watching her," he said.  He looked at her wrists, scowling.

"I had to get free of the chair."  She pointed.  "I nearly got him dead."

"Good job," he said quietly.  Ezra and Josiah stomped in.   "Guys, she's fine."

"Good," Ezra agreed, looking her over.  "Come along.  We'll go back to the hotel so you can clean up."

She smiled.  "I'll be fine."

"Her thumb is dislocated," JD said.

"I'm sure our over-reacting healer will have much to say about such matters," Ezra said dryly, leading her off.  "Are you all right?  Did he touch you?"

"Threatened to so he could have the company," she said quietly.   "I'm fine."

"Good."  He put her into the car and walked back in there to get a report.  Josiah was being nice but firm.  JD was being bouncy and mad.  Ezra could calm them both down.  Then they drove her back to the hotel.  She went to shower/hide from Nathan in the bathroom.  They reported to Chris.  Josiah had the officers bring the idiot to the office for Chris to talk to.  It'd make his night.

Nathan knocked and got let in by JD.  "How badly is she hurt?"

"Wrists are bruised.  Her thumb may be back in place," Ezra said.  "She had gotten him down by the time we rescued her from the officers."

Nathan grimaced, knocking on the bathroom door.  "If I can't stand to look at this body, you sure as hell aren't," she called.  "It's back in place.  I have cream on the bruises already and I'm *fine*!"

"I'm still checking," Nathan ordered.  "Ezra, get the door open."  He came over to open the door.  He knew better than to get on Nathan's bad side.  He'd make him stay in the hospital the next time he got injured.  She would only swat him and pout.  Nathan opened the door and had to get out of the way of the being that came flying out.  "What is that?" he demanded.

She came out to stare at it.  "It thinks I'm cute and good for a sacrifice to make the slayers pissed off."  She looked around.  "DAWN!"  She appeared with a squeak.  "Good, she did teach you that.  This one wants to sacrifice me."

"Who're you?" she asked.  She stared at him.  "Xander?"  She nodded.  "How?  Willow?"

"Pissed off geek that proved he was an idiot.  It's being fixed soon.  This one and others still think I'd make a *wonderful* sacrifice."

"Oh, hell no!" she said, taking the demon with her to her sister.  It was dinner so they'd get dinner theater when Buffy beat his ass.  "Did you know about Xander?" she demanded.

She nodded.  "I passed out."

"This one thinks she's a good virgin sacrifice now."  She gave the demon a shove.

Buffy sneered.  "You wanted to do *what* to our Xander?" another slayer demanded.  "How dare they!"  She pounced the demon and beat it.

Buffy tipped her head to the side.  "You're hitting off center, Tamra.  We have to work on that later this week."

"I don't care!"  A few more dove in to help her.

Buffy nodded.  She'd let the younger girls work off their stress.  Then she'd get the demon to kill.  She called Wendy and Faith to warn them too.


Chris walked into the hotel room later that night.  "Thank you for helping us catch a major link in the gun chain locally, Xander."  She gave him a dirty look.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  He didn't actually touch me.  Faith said that Buffy and the ladies got pissed at the demons trying to take me out."

"Good.  That's reasonable.  Is there any way to stop that?"

"If I get laid while I'm female."

"Never mind," Chris decided.   He wasn't going to touch that subject.   JD giggled.  Chris scowled at him.  "Anything else we should know?"

"Your local serial killer's name is Beth, she's a blonde, and the local lab knows her but they haven't realized it I don't think."  She handed over that evaluation.  "She's in CPS."

Chris gave him an odd look.  "I forgot you're a profiler."  She smiled.  "Get all that from the papers?"

"And the CSI I called locally who told me what I needed to know yesterday."

"Even better.  You might be scary otherwise."

Xander smirked.  "We do know serial killers."

"True."  He looked it over, it cited another source that she had talked to.  "Nice job."  He went to hand it to the officers that needed it.  He had to keep his mind off the subject of her purity before he blushed.  She was too blunt as a woman.  He hoped they got that other nanite fixed soon.


Alex shifted while in the testifying box, grimacing.  "Sorry, what was I saying?"

"Are you all right, CSI Harris?"

"I think my twin's in pain."  He shook his head quickly and refocused his mind.  "Xander's safely off somewhere else."

"That's fine.  Do you need a break to call him?" the judge asked.

"If I'm right, it'll be okay and he'll be here soon."  He shifted again.  Yeah, something was definitely going on.  "Can I take ten?"  The judge nodded and he walked out to the hall to call Ezra.   "Is it being fixed?" he asked in greeting.  He listened to the report.  "Thank you.  No, I could tell.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and calmed his mind to block her out.  Then he went back in.  "Xander's coming this way in three days."

"That's good news," the judge agreed.  They had wanted to talk to him as a witness as well.


Xander looked at the general that night.  "Is he in jail?"

"Yup.  Carter, you haven't met her yet, went to grab him and yelled the *entire* trip back.  She was going to kill him for you."  He grinned.  "About these spiders?"

"We will need a field test," he admitted.  Jack smirked.  "You and Chris can talk about it."

"I can do that.  Can I try the explosive one?"

"I made Chris two.  He only used one."  Jack went to talk to Chris.  Xander finished picking up his mess and repacked then sat down to rub her stomach.  He still hurt.  He took a few tylenol and checked everything, adding in the soap, shampoo, and toothbrush.  He walked out with the two bags, giving them all a hug.  Including the general.  "Thank you, guys."

They all smiled at him.  "Behave in New York," Chris ordered.

"I try really hard but I have to hit DC."  That got a nod.  "General, let me know who gets testing rights so we can get reports."  He grinned and left, letting them finish cleaning up their things from the guarding.   He checked out at the desk, making them happy to have helped and kept things safe.  They were told she was hiding as a woman because of the case.  Since it was now safer he could go back to himself.  He got a cab to the airport and went to DC.  He was thinking about buying a corporate plane but he wasn't sure how to do that.  It was expensive but more comfortable.  Plus no screaming kids or puking people.  He put on his headphones to block out the noise of vomiting before he got sick too.


Xander walked up behind the man with the gun, tapping him on the shoulder.  "Excuse me, do you have my geek friend hostage?"  The man gave him a strange look.  Xander smirked.  "I think you may."

"Who're you!" he demanded, shifting to look at him.

"Xander."  He punched him.  "Ah!  It's so good to be back."  He cuffed him and looked at his buddy.  "Hey, Zach.  You good?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Xander."  He smiled.  "He was trying to be witty I think."

"Clearly."  He walked closer to Zach.  "How did he get you anyway?"

"He decided I'm one of the forensic scientists that caught him."  Police cars sped up.

Xander pulled his ID, holding it up.  "This is Zach, he's one of Gretchen's forensic people."

"Sir, we heard from her about him," one said.  "Are you all right?"

Xander smiled.  "Thank you for having more sense than the one I met in Denver who tried to arrest me for fighting back with a kidnaper."  Zach shook his head but he was smiling.  "He wanted the company too."  He looked at the confused officer.  "Hi."  He grinned.

"You're related to that CSI with the eyepatch, right?" one asked quietly.

"He's my twin brother."

"That's good."  He pulled a gun and pointed it at Xander, who ducked, kicked the gun arm, and let the other officers pounce him to beat.

Zach looked down at him.  "That was not really a logical move with the other officers in attendance."  He looked at Xander.  "Might I borrow your cellphone?"

"Sure."  He handed it over with a smile.  "Call Hodgins tonight too since you've been out of town."

"I forgot."  He called Gretchen to give her his location and then hung up and called his buddy to talk to him.  Hodgins sounded happy to hear from him so it was nice.  Zach's minder showed up to get him.  They gave Xander an odd look.  "This is my friend Xander."

"I've met his twin, Zach."  Xander smirked.  "We'll be fine, CSI Harris."

"Good.  I'd hate for something to happen to Zach."  He smiled and Zach hung up after saying he'd call after work hours.  He tucked his phone back into his pocket.  "Let me get to the courthouse for the testimony.   Zach, we'll be over for dinner."  That got a smile and a nod.  Xander looked at the officers.  "Need a statement, guys?"

"No, sir."  They all smiled and let them go.  It was something they expected with either Harris in town.  Now they all remembered the twins.  The one who had gotten here first was mean, tough, and liked psychos.


Xander walked into his lab a few days later with a sigh, hugging his scope.  "I'm finally back."

"Why did I get a call from the Denver PD?" Mac asked from the doorway.

Xander looked at him.  "Because one rookie little shithead tried to arrest me for defending myself."

"Figures.  New friend?"

"Russian mafia guy who wanted the company.  I was fighting back when the kid walked in."  He let go of his scope and sat down on his stool.  "Alex is on his way in, he had to deliver the transcripts to the DA."

"I heard.  Are you all right?"

"Yup.  I saw Stella's friend yesterday and he said I looked normal again.  I'm fit for duty.  We found a few people who like a few of our toys.  I'm good.  Thank you, Mac."

"It's not a problem, Xander.  They could help you more than we could.  There's still too many around here who might want to date you too."  He smirked back.  "Chad has you up to date.  Are you back today?"

"Sure am."

"Good."  He walked off to tell the commissioner that the problem was solved and that he was back.  Now they had to live through another big trial and however the trial in Denver went in a few months.  Now if only everything else would calm down.  He grimaced at the thing on his wall, moving to swat the spider with a folder.  Nothing happened and it didn't fall.  That wasn't a normal spider so it had to be....  "Xander!  No field testing equipment in my office!"  Xander came in with a grin and walked his little spying pet off.

"Spider!" Stella squeaked.

Mac called Graham to come get them.  Before one of them freaked out.  He knew Adam hated spiders.  Stella might break it and have to pay for one.  It was still good to have Xander back.  It would've been hell to protect him if he was still a woman.


Two days later, Ezra opened his email and started to snicker quietly, responding back.

//Is the reason my temporary sister started to use extremely large words because she happened to kiss you?  If so, I don't mind, but please keep that particular communicable disease to yourself, Ezra.  I need my former sister to be normal please.  If it wasn't you, it must've been Ducky but I didn't think he was her type.  So in the future if you do end up kissing her, please keep that to yourself.  Or do something good enough to make her lose her mind and speech capabilities.  Thank you.  Alex.//

Ezra closed it before anyone else could read it, shaking his head.  He didn't think that sort of thing was communicable but one never knew what one would get from a kiss on the cheek in thanks.

The End.

To next part

Back to Crossovers Index