The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 5: Home Again.

Cam Mitchell was waiting when they got back.  "Welcome back, SG-25," he greeted, shaking Kissen's hand.  "Anything to report on your training missions?"

"I can't take the kids anywhere," he said dryly.  "They snark when the natives are dumb.  The priestesses thought they were fertility idols and wouldn't save any for the rest of us.   The wraith are scared to death of Armand and think dragons are our new allies.  If we go back to Atlantis, Xander and Jon are not allowed to explore together, or singly.  Sheppard sent you mission reports with the data packet so you can cackle too, Colonel."

"We're not *that* bad," Jon said dryly.

Cam looked at him.  "Compared to what?"

"No mother ships, no pouting ex's, the priestesses that we met are definitely more than happy to trade with Atlantis now, and we found a bunch of stuff McKay hadn't."

General Landry cleared his throat from the control room.  "Let's debrief, people."

"I have a file for Doctor Lam, sir," Xander called.  "The genetics people on Atlantis were highly amused."

"I can get her up here too, son.  Meeting room, people."  They walked up there.  Cam printed out the mission reports, cackling as he read it and walked in at the same time.  He looked up.  "That good?" he asked, holding out a hand.

"One of the piers decided to help Xander play with the merpeople by lowering a pier into the water when he was tired."  He put things down, staring at the boys.

"I was just catching my breath.  The city wasn't sinking again.  No matter how much Rodney panicked and threw a fit.  I'm also not the one that told the pier to let him slide into the water when he was throwing the fit."

"Uh-huh.  And the fact that Sheppard's pouting because it loves you so much?"

"Well, I was nice to it.  Now and then he'll kick a wall or something.  I usually petted it and it likes me because I can speak to the AI."

"That's a good reason," he decided, sitting down.  "Kissen, anything you want to add?"

"They make good coffee."  Landry shook his head at that.  "It's important."

"I want Jack's personal coffee god," Xander sighed.  "His is so great people might kidnap him for it."

"I doubt he'd let you," Landry said dryly.  "Anything on the missions to report, Major Kissen?"  He got a shrug back.  "The incident with the wraith perhaps?"

"One tried to cull an area, I accidentally got sucked up getting some kids out of the way," Xander said.  "Armand was with me and he was not a happy dragon."  He looked around but Cam pointed where he was napping on his feet.  "Oh, thanks.  He did the size change thingy and they all stared at him like he was a horrible creature.  Especially since he was getting pissed and smoking some.  They couldn't feed off him and when one came near me, he growled.  Then I pulled up a spell and kindly punctured their hull.  They had to land and the other ships were gotten by the jumper that the other team called.  The Marines training with us were not happy.  Mostly that we kinda rendered them obsolete for a few minutes because we reacted faster."

"Sheppard looked at the pouting Marines and told them next time to grab people to get out of the way and start shooting at darts faster, General," Jon agreed.  "We managed to save all but one villager there and the wraith were mostly all killed in that engagement.  They had a watching dart for backup that fled from the baby dragon."  Armand cooed at him.  "I like you too, scaly.  I'm still not feeding you any trees.  I heard about the pink foam of doom incident."

"I told them not to feed him pepto," Xander said dryly.

"I heard about the one on the ship," Landry admitted.

"No, Doctor Lam snuck him some when he ate some sort of bunny rabbit looking thing that didn't agree with his system.  It gave him the runs.   She got to clean up the acidic pink foam of doom and the crap after he nearly exploded all over her and the infirmary bed."  Tilla snickered, shaking her head.  "I told her not to feed it to him and was taking him out to the nice trees on a pier because it stunk.  Not even the botanists could use it."  Fischer nodded at that.  "Not my fault, General."

"That's fine, Xander.  I know how those things happen."  He looked at the dragon then at him.  "Is he better now?"

"Yes, sir."

"Excellent.  The botanists are looking forward to walking him some more."  He looked at the mission reports.  "Tree making facility?"

"Their tree cloning lab," Jon said.  "It can be run on a generator.  They're very interested in trading with the city for the new produce and the botanists told them how to nurture apple trees to plant later on.  They did remember not to feed Rodney anything with citrus."

"That's wonderful."  He looked over the other ones.  "Did you really *have* to hit on the priestesses, boys?"

"It was them or me, sir.  Or else we'd be dead," Tilla said.  "I love the military and my life but I can't wrap my mind around lesbian sex.  There's no dicks," she said bluntly.  "I wouldn't know what to do without one."

Xander looked at her.  "Oral sex."

"I think that's more your kink than theirs," Kissen complained.  "Since the holy watchers kept going 'I didn't know you could do that'."  He looked at the general.  "They were going to flog us for visiting if we didn't, General.  Xander grandly got some stress relief, so did Jon.  I claimed I was infertile and couldn't get it up.  She's female.  Fischer nearly passed out.  I've got to take you to the strip bar, kid, that way you're more used to naked women."  He sighed a bit.  "They're now willing to trade but we did warn them that there might be greeting rituals expected.  Sheppard quipped that was the third culture up there that had those."

"Wonderful," he said sarcastically.  He looked at the others.  They looked normal by SG-1 standards.  Which might be a bad indication of future headaches.  "Are the Genii going to cause less or more problems to the city do we think?"

"I think their splinter group is very dumb if he tries anything," Xander admitted.  "I ran into them with SGA-1 before you sent up my new team.   John warned me quietly then and Lorne warned us before we went out on training missions.  We ran into the regular Genii once and they were wary but I stitched some injuries they were being bothered by.  Apparently the plants up there were mean to them and had pushed them down a hill.  The local healer watched me and praised my stitching, said it was prettier than his daughter's.  I said thank you."  He smiled.  "The regular ones decided that our team is decent enough folks but that we're slightly insane.  I was humming."

"That's enough to drive anyone nuts," Cam said patiently.  "They almost stoned you to death because you got a song stuck in your head and made it spread."

"It's not my fault," he complained.  "It's a catchy song."

"Don't you dare," Jon ordered.  "This time it was something from Aladdin."

"It was last time too," Cam agreed dryly, staring at the kid.

"Not my fault!  The team movie night had it the night before!"

"Fine," Landry said.  "Did the natives kick you off the planet for humming?"

"No, but the Genii like it.  They asked me what it was about.  I sang it and they liked it a lot."

"Still sick of your mind, Xander," Jon complained.

"Hey, it could've been Brave New World or even a Celine Dion song since one of them was being played repetitively as a punishment for that one team."

"Woolsey was mean to do that to them," Kissen agreed.  "It did get Disney banned unless it was an individual watching it in their rooms alone, General."

"I can agree with that."  He straightened up the reports.  "Go rest.  You all have a day's downtime.  Xander, Joyce Summers pulled out of the surgery to correct it very well.  She's resting in an LA hospital."

"If I had a picture, I'd go over," he said quietly.  "Can I call?"

"Yes you may, son."  Xander beamed.  "Go.  Take a day of downtime."  They fled.  He looked at Mitchell.  Kissen came back.  "Any changes you can see that need made?"

"No, sir, and I appreciate the hell out of having O'Neill's younger half on the team.  Tilla and I agreed if I fall, it goes to him.  I like the boys.  They lighten each other up, a lot.  Tilla's complained about the squishy maternal feelings she claims started about the boys.  Fischer just watched it all, being amused.  I am a bit worried about Fischer in the field.   He's hearty enough but I don't think we've tested is limits yet."

"You guys still have training with my team," Cam assured him.  "For at least another month."

"That'll work.   He needs more varied time in the field.  Harris was apparently very good on Atlantis, even if he did find hidden rooms and the like."

"That wasn't mentioned," Landry said.

"That's why they're not allowed to explore without a full team backing them up, sir.  Xander got a bit lost looking for something the AI told him to find.  Instead he found a room with the memorial for the lost ones.  He found the very ancient, pre-wanting to ascend, wedding chamber.  He found someone's quarantine suite.  Something about they were sick minded but still useful so they gave him a suite and kept him in there to design things.

"Xander compared him to an insane seer vampire he once knew.  He has a real affinity for water, Mitchell.  Probably even without the mermaid taint.  By the way, he helped them make contact with Rodney.  They have a 'we won't fish off the piers and disturb your hunting' agreement with them.   Apparently they were a creation of that insane one.  That's why his suite was in one of the minor underwater spires.  The AI up there gave him full maps of everything so he could translate it.  Including hidden areas.  McKay's in geek glee over new toys."

"That's good to know.  So it went well?  You're integrating well?" Landry asked.

"Fairly well.  Harris is still a bit worried and bouncy sometimes.  I think the visit home will help."  He left after a quick salute.  Jon and Xander had already disappeared off base somewhere.  He knew where Jon's apartment was.  Tilla was probably in the woods.  He went to take a nap.  The boys had been bouncy for the last day.


Xander knocked on the hospital door, then stuck his head in.  "Hi, I'm back in the US."

"Xander," Joyce sighed, smiling at him.  "Get in here."  He walked in and gave her a hug.  "Thank you.  Now I can watch Dawn grow up."  He sniffled but nodded, pulling back to look at her.  "How is the military thing going?"

"Not bad.  I've got my own team now.  We're training to make sure we mesh pretty well.  I have someone on there who understands me and a female Marine."

"That's good."  She stroked down his hair.  "It's getting long."

"No one's told me to get a haircut."

"You probably should anyway."  She smiled when Dawn and Buffy came in.

Buffy punched Xander on the arm.  "Thanks."

He rubbed it.  "You know I wouldn't let her be hurt."

"I know."  She gave him a quick hug, looking him over.  "They feed you there."

"Yup, it's a pretty good caf.  Plus I blip out sometimes for soda and snack cakes."  She smirked at that.  "She's gone?"

"Fully.  They checked to make sure.  They sealed him in an airtight room and left him a knife."  She sat down on the foot of her mother's bed.  Dawn pounced Xander.  He grinned and patted her.  "So, how's the apartment?"

"I'm living on base but if we need me to, I can set up something off base for Dawnie protection."

"We should be okay now," she promised with a smile.   "Are you staying for a bit?"

"I just blipped over to check on you guys."

"Like magic blipped?" Dawn asked.

He nodded.  "Yeah, when the master mage unblocked it, I'm fairly powerful and he made sure I had ethical uses down.   With some of the spells he pulled off me, he *really* wanted to meet Willow."

"Oh, she's in trouble anyway," Buffy assured him dryly.  "Graham caught her doing magic on Riley.  She's going to be talked to."  Xander took out a pen and wrote out an address.  "Where's that?"

"A very ancient coven that's been going on for centuries.  The master I trained under was affiliated and they're not Council related."

"That'll hopefully work," she decided, texting that to Sam Finn's phone.  Sam got nervous when Buffy talked to her new husband since they were ex's.   She got back a response.   "Xander, Sam Finn wants a sit rep on how things are going."

"I'm doing good there.  They like my book collection and my pet."  He smiled.  "I can't give them anything else and if they want to know, talk to General O'Neill."

She replied that and Riley sent back a growl.  "Riley didn't like that answer."

"Yay.  It's beyond their classified status," he said dryly.

"You have a pet?" Dawn asked.

"Yup.  Armand."  He held up a finger and pushed her back slightly, disappearing and coming back with the dragon.  Who belched.  "Sorry.  He ate a toxic bunny."  He held him up.  "This is Dawnie, Buffy, and Joyce," he said, pointing at each.  The dragon sniffed Joyce, meeping at her.  He meeped at Buffy, then he stared at Dawn before yawning and pouncing her.  "He likes you."

"I like him.  He's adorable."  She smiled at him.  "So, you know, huh?"

"Yeah, I can feel it radiating off you," he admitted dryly.  "You need shields.  Badly.  Can Tara, Buffy?"

"I'd trust Tara.  It'd help hide her."  She looked at her mother, who nodded.  "Good."  She smiled.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome.  Most of the time I'm only a phone call away.  Hell, I've got an enhanced cellphone that might be able to reach me most anywhere," he said dryly.  She laughed at that, batting him on the arm again.  Armand glared at her for it.

"You behave.  I'm allowed to beat up on him."

Armand looked at Joyce.  "Don't look at me, I tried."  The dragon huffed and snuggled in with Dawn again.  He gave Xander a possessive look.  "Is that a problem?"

"No," Xander assured her with a smile.  He pulled something out of his pocket and held up a finger, taking off for a minute then coming back with something.  He handed the small rock to Dawn.  "For when it's older.  It'll take sixteen months to hatch.  Keep it warm and rotate daily."

"It's a rock."

"No, it's a small egg.  It'll soften as it gets older."

"Cool."  She looked at her outfit.  Then it went down her bra for now.  Buffy moaned.  "What?  It won't show!"

Armand sniffed then licked her on the nose before putting his head down and belching.  "I can take you home," Xander offered, taking off the bracelet.  He put it back into his pocket.  The dragon grumbled and snuggled.  Dawn cooed and let he let himself be petted.  Xander looked at Buffy. "They'll be expecting Willow tonight when they kidnap her."


"Welcome.  It's not a problem."  He smiled.  "The one who'll come take her will come help Tara put on shields."

"Even better.  Are they strong, ethical witches?"

"Very.  They're the backbone of ethics and even the Devon Coven answers to them."

"Cool."  She smiled.  "So what are you doing?"



"It's not hard.  I just do a lot of it."  His phone rang and he looked at it then answered it.  "Hi, Jon.  Visiting Joyce.  Why?"  He smiled.  "That's fine.  No, leave the plants alone.  Why did they pull you to look at my plants?"  He rolled his eyes.  "Make sure Morticia is moving well and don't inhale the smoke of Gomez."  He laughed.  "Yeah, that's why.  Tell Carter I said I'll be back soon.  Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "Jon tripped my protections on my office by accident.  Carter's now bright pink with orange polka dots and ready to cry."  Buffy cackled.  He smirked.  "I know who's been in my office.  There's biologists who want my pet too.  They seem to take sudden naps."  He hugged Joyce.  "I'll be back as soon as I can.  Get better?  Please?"

"I am, Xander."  She stroked his cheek.  "I have to threaten anyone you settle down with."  He gave her a sad smile.  She stared at him.  "This time at least."  He nodded, hugging the girls.  He had to pry Armand off Dawn.  "She can't have a pet until hers hatches," Joyce told him.  He meeped sadly, snuffling at Dawn, who gave him one last pet.  Then they disappeared.  "Be good to your egg."

"I will."  She smiled at Buffy.  "Maybe I'll go work with him if they're good people.  It's definitely safer than Sunnydale."

"Yeah, it might be."  She ruffled her sister's hair.  "Go get me a latte?"

"Fine," she huffed, going to do that and get her mother a treat too.  She needed it to feel better.


Xander reappeared in his office, scaring the crap out of Jon.  "What?" he asked.

"Don't do that!"

"Fine, I won't teleport around you," he said dryly, putting Armand on his couch.  He had to move it back by a foot.

"Cleaning crew," Sam said.  "Can I be changed back?"  He undid the spell.  "Thank you!"

"That way I know who breaks into my office."

"The other two are hiding in theirs," she said.  "Doctor Lam laughed too hard to try to find a cure."  She left to tell them that news.

Xander came over to look at his plants, feeding them things.  "Maybe I should see if you guys like the toxic bunny rabbit Armand ate."  Gomez's bulb seemed to sway at that suggestion.  "I know, you guys are meant for live meat.  Some day I'll take you guys into the woods and let you catch some."  They both got happy with that thought.  He opened his mini fridge to feed them some beef he had put in there earlier.  They eat it greedily.  "Did someone forget to feed you guys?"

Cam leaned in.  "I didn't know you were the sort to talk to your plants, Harris."

"They're waving and wiggling back," Jon told him.

"Of course they are," he said dryly.

"They're starving, Cam.  Help me carry them topside to the woods so they can catch their own for a while?"

"Hell no, they might try to eat me."

"They like you."

"Yeah, which is why they'll try to eat me," he complained.  "Have Jon help."  He walked off shaking his head.  He paused at the belch, looking back.  "I hope that was the dragon and not the plant."  He kept going.  If the plant ate Jon he wanted to be far away when O'Neill heard.

Daniel walked in with the two polka dotted people.  "Xander?"  He looked and undid the spells.  "Thank you."

"Whichever of you guys took my sword, I want it back," he told them.  One groaned, going to get it.  "Thank you.  Daniel, help me and Jon carry these two up to the woods so they can hunt?"

Daniel stared for a second.  "Let me see if we have another alternative."  He called the general from the desk phone.  "Sir, Daniel.  Harris needs to feed his plants since no one else did.  Well, I was thinking about the complaints of the giant mosquitos."  He smiled.  "We can do that.  Thank you, General."  He hung up.  "C'mon.  Grab some bug spray.  Coming, Armand?  It'll be outside."  The dragon followed while the boys carried the plants.  Jon got the safer plant.  Carrying it meant Gomez couldn't eat him.  Morticia was wrapping herself around Xander's waist.  Xander stiffened and did something back at his office doorway, then walked off.  He could handle that later.  They went through the gate, seeing the irritated SG-3.  They put down the plants and both of them seemed to come alive.  They were snacking off whole new realms of prey.  So was Armand.  Who got a bit sick but he covered it nicely with some kicked dirt.  He ate more bugs and it was good for them.

The leader of SG-3 looked around.  "Damn they're handy even if they are creepy."

Xander smiled.  "You don't like plants?"

"House plants are fine.  Addams family plants aren't.  They're creepy and kooky."

"Fine.  We'll be back in a while to get them.  Armand?"  He purred and caught another bug.  "Fine, ask if they can babysit you."  The dragon nuzzled someone, crawling up him to eat the bugs that were buzzing around his hair.   He sniffed, it did smell good.

"Don't eat the mousse, dragon," the guy said.  "I can watch him, Harris.  We're waiting on someone to meet us."

"Cool.  Thank you.  Be back soon."  They went back through the gate,  smiling at the general.  "They love the bugs.  Thank you."

"It's a handy thing to have," he agreed.

Xander smiled, going back to his office to find his teacher waiting on him.  "Hi."  Jon left when he saw he had a visitor.  "So, visiting to check on me?"

"I did."  He looked around.  "I see you made use of your skills for your own comfort."

"Just to give myself a work area.  If I was going for my own comfort, I'd have a pool."

"Good point," he admitted with a smug look.  "How are you handling things?"

"I'm okay.  I'm not stretching myself by any means.  This, some concealing spells, a few warning spells like a sleep hex and things."

"Excellent.  The coven said you gave them a name?"

"Willow.  She's having a lot of problems.  I also wanted them to look over Buffy's sister since she's the Key made human."

"Oh, no.  The Beauteous One?"

"Gone.  They handled it recently."  His master relaxed.  "Which is why I wanted her to have a guide."

"I can agree with that.  What pet did select her?"

"One of the smaller, new ones.  It's still rock hard."

"Wonderful."  He clapped him on the arm, seeing the wince.  "Fight?"

"Buffy slugged me on it."

"Ah.  She forgets her own strength."  He smiled.  "I can accept this is not a misuse.  No dragon?"

"We just found somewhere with *huge* mosquitos.  Do we have a book on dragon eating habits and stomach problems?"

"There is one such book.  It's in Ilendil though."

Xander grimaced.  "Damn it."

"Faintly," he admitted with a smile.  "At least it's not a full hellmouth.  Why?  What's wrong?"

"He's had an upset stomach a lot recently.  A toxic bunny and things."

"Yes that can happen.  For all that they can eat nearly anything they do have sensitive systems."

"Who's this?" Daniel asked from the doorway.

"This is my former teacher in magic, Master Nycom.  He popped in without warning when we were carrying the plants.  Did you like my conservatory?"

"The door needs to be bigger but otherwise, yes."  He patted him on the head.  "You should go to Ilendil to get that book and other things.  Some day he'll need a leash."

"Why?  I'm training him."

"Never mind," he said, shaking his head.  "I'll go see the young one myself."  Xander nodded at that, grinning some.  "I'll suggest a good one to mentor her more gently than I did you."  He patted him on the arm.  "Also, get your things out of my closet, young one."


"And the other two closets you set up."

"I did?"

"You did and clearly you've taken too many blows to the head again," he said dryly.

"They were destroyed centuries ago.  The buildings are gone."

"The closets you set up still stand.  That's the way I taught you."

"Oh.  Okay.  I can do that.  Thank you for nicely chewing on me this time."  He smirked.  "And not that way either, yes.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He disappeared.

Daniel blinked.  "That's an interesting skill."

"It takes a shitload of power," Xander admitted.

"How did you sneak him in?"

"He showed up in here to look over what I've done."

"Oh.  Okay.  Next time, warn people."

Xander looked at him.  "Can you really keep out a non-ascended being with the same sort of power?"

"No," he admitted.  "Who was he?"

"I told you that."

"Beyond that.  Any other aliases in history?"


"I heard that word somewhere."  He went to look it up in Xander's books while Xander searched for something.  "What are you doing?"

"Finding money from Ilendil.  They have books to help with Armand's touchy stomach issues.  It'll only take me a minute."  He put on the bracelet and went back there.  He had a lot better control with his version of Jack's blippy.  He visited those two closets too.  Then he went back to pick up his order and home again.  He put down the stack of books and the two large bags with a sigh.  Daniel stared at him.  "What?"  He pointed behind him.  He looked.   "Hi, General Landry."  He put the bracelet back in his pocket.  "Sorry, my teacher showed up and told me where to get the touchy stomach manual for my pet."

"We had some power surges reading down here."  He looked at the bags.  "Presents?"

"He told me the closets I had stuff in that I thought were destroyed weren't."

"Interesting."  He stared at the boy, getting a sheepish look back.  "Was this a magical trip or another blip?"

"Um, kinda both?" he said hesitantly.  "But I didn't want someone to accidentally activate it and find something that I had stored from the future."

"Good!"  He smirked at him.  "Get another laptop?  McKay has envy."

"I could go get one."

"Don't you dare."

"Fine.  I won't."

"Would that break laws?" Daniel asked.

"Not with the mishmash of tech you guys have around here.  Besides, I made sure it can't be told apart from the others unless you look at the properties.  It's even running XP."

"If you do, Carter wants to compare it to some Asgard tech but she knows not to touch your laptop," Landry told him.

"Rodney took a lot of scans."

"I'll let her know."  He left.

Xander looked at Daniel, who grimaced and shook his head.  "No, don't."

"I could use a backup.  I have a ton of stuff on that one."

"Fine.  Make it very quick and very subtle."  Xander changed clothes into something tighter and grabbed his machine and USB key, heading off again once he had his bracelet on.  Daniel came over to look at the books.  One was on dragon care and breeding.  That was good to know.  The kid came back stumbling under a huge box.  He helped him put it on the table and he left again, coming back with a few more floating and one being carried.  He helped with those.  "What's all this?"

"Not a lot really.  He put his bracelet back and changed back into something that wasn't crawling up his butt crack.  His personal laptop got put down and the USB key got locked up again.  "This one is Sam's," Xander said, handing it over.  "I didn't shield it from magic, it won't write until she can figure it out on her own.  He did it on purpose.  It's a few decades behind mine."  Daniel smirked at that.  "Not as compact."  He unloaded the other boxes and magically sent one box to Cardiff.  Jack needed freaked out and a treat.  The Doctor had told him what to pick up and give him when he was getting his sonic screwdriver fixed.  He had put a note in too.  The rest he unpacked, including some pictures he had left.  The bags got unpacked last.  Daniel stared at what was in there.  Xander just beamed.  "No, she can only purr and coo at it."

"Sure, I get that," Daniel said, staring at the ray gun.  Compact, handgun sized ray gun.  "Modern there?"

"Ancient.  They got tired of it."

"Ah."  He went back to the books.  It was safer for his mind.  Then he carried the things down to Sam.  "Xander had to get a backup drive for his laptop," he told her, handing her the heavy box.  "That's a few decades from before his.  It won't work until you can make it work."  He walked off.  His head really hurt now.  Xander was usually nicer to him than that.  He stopped by Cam's office.  "Check on Xander's weapons collection."

"What did he pull out this time?  A death ray?"

"Buck Rogers' pistol."  He walked off, going to lay down for a nap.  He'd have to get Xander back for the headache.

Cam went down there, finding Xander nibbling on something while reading an older book.  "What's that on?"

"Dragon tummies."

"Good!"  He looked around.  There were pictures and a few other things.  He stared at them then at the kid.  "Who's that?"

Xander looked.  "Um...Ten in that one."

"Okay."  He wasn't going to ask.  He really wasn't.  He looked at the weapons.  "Laser pistol?"

Xander looked up.  "You can't have it."

"I want to try it out, not keep it."

"Bottom desk drawer.  I replaced my H&K with it."

Cam got it out and took it to the range to try out.

"If you tell me that thing came from Harris' stash, I'm kicking you out and reporting you for mental health violations," the range master warned after the first shot had burned the pretty hole in the target.

"Then I won't tell you that."  He shot another time.  It wasn't too bad.  Fairly accurate.  He found a button and turned it since it didn't push or slide.  Then he tried it again.  "Hey, adjustable width," he said, looking happy.  "Yeah, he can carry this."  He went to hand it back.  "Nice, kid.  Any other new weapons?"

Xander looked at him.  "I was cleaning out stuff I thought had been destroyed.  Oh, shit that means Helsinki isn't destroyed," he realized, going to get that.  He came back with a few more things and then went back for the big things.  Another chair and a long box.  Then another trip and he landed with another few boxes.  He left again and came back with a big door.  He hung it up over his and went into it to finish unloading it.

Cam looked inside, then at him.  "Unless you can add more room, I doubt you have room for these books."

"I'm going to reanchor it but I need them out of here to do that."

"Let me get Jackson so he can bum."

"Get me some grunts," Xander complained.  "Please?"

"Fine."  He backed out of the doorway and looked at it, sliding around the side.  He found two lieutenants staring at it.  "He needs help moving books so he can move the door."

"No way in hell, sir," one said.  "That's Harris.  There's no telling what might eat us."

"It's all books.  He already moved the other stuff."  They moaned but went to get him some grunts on the shit list.   Landry came back to look over their shoulders.

"What was so important you had to grab this one?" he asked Xander.  He pointed at the long box.  He looked.  "Artillery?"

"Not from this century."

He went to look at it, staring at it for a moment.  "What does it do?"

"Umm....  I confiscated it because it was too powerful for normal folk and the person who had it was a bad guy?" he offered.  "Before he kinda destroyed the earth?"

His teacher showed back up.  "That was impressive."

"The confiscating or the moving?"

"Both.  You forgot one."

"I don't have room for it.  I'll get it later."  It was handed over.  "You can shrink them?"

"I can.  You never read that book," he said dryly.  He put it up in a corner and reattached it.  "There."  He looked at the boy.  "Your one from Athens."  Xander beamed at him.  "Also the link to the other closet from Mysenis."


"And the one to the large library in Arvada.  Oh, and your one to Toler's shop."  He put those up.  He held up one last one.  Xander snatched it, knowing that one held personal mementos.  "Good.   Make yourself another room, Xander."  He disappeared.

Landry looked at him.  "What's that one?"

"Mementos from past boyfriends and girlfriends."

"I don't need to see it," he decided.  "Try to put it inside one of those."

"You can't do that because then you create a universe inside another and it leads back to a void if it's done wrong.  I'm not that good.  If I could teach Rodney how to do it, he might be able to help me figure it out."

"No teaching McKay magic," Cam ordered.  "It'll make him scarier."  He let the grunts unload the rest of the books.  Then the two bookcases and the one low table.  Xander put that on top of his couch for now.  The door was destroyed and he created a new one on the spare wall to stuff with the rest of the things he had to pull out of the older ones.  Cam watched as he ordered the grunts in how to move things.  The general locked the artillery again. Pretty soon everything was settled and Xander put that new table down by the two good chairs and spare one.  "Kid, it's too crowded," he said.

"I'll let someone steal the blue chair.  Not the recliner."

"That'll work," he decided, helping him move it into the hall.  He put a note on it that said 'free to a good home'.  Then he came back to look around the new room.  It had a ton of books.  Xander went back to look at the general, letting Cam sigh.  "Jackson would do this if he could.  O'Neill would kick my ass if he taught him to."

Xander looked at Landry.  "It was that or let them destroy everyone, General.  The person who was overseeing me that part of my trip said it was a good idea.  It solved a lot of problems and he told them that he had sent it into the sun.  Which I'm supposed to if I ever get the urge to use it."

"Can it be used to destroy a super gate?"

"The explosion might take out a solar system on either side if you toss it in and detonate it.  It's made with qualinick."

"Okay.  What if we fire it at a super gate?"

"Then it goes boom as it disintegrates."

"Okay.  What about open wormholes?"

"Hell no.  Please don't create a sucking void?  I'll get blamed and the Doctor will take my ass out."

"We'll lock this up in a way that means no one will get it, son.  Quit stressing.   We'll make sure no one touches it.  If they try, we'll send it into the sun."

"Thank you.  I don't want to face down the Doctor if that gets out."

"I can agree to that.  Can you disarm it?  Will it work if they use naqquadah?"

"No.  It won't."  He opened it and looked it over.  "I need a bomb tech."

"We have a few."  He had one summoned, making them all paranoid when it came from Harris' office.   One leaned in, in full gear.  "He managed to confiscate a higher weapon that is dangerous enough to destroy the solar system if it's set off wrong.  We're disarming it so it can be stored somewhere safely."

"Sure," he agreed, coming in to look over it.  "Do we have schematics, Harris?"

"Yes."  He pulled them out, handing them up to him.  "We have to remove the qualinick and then disable it."

"I can agree with that.  It even looks like it's dangerous."  Cam leaned out.  "What's that?"


"I don't want to know," he decided.  Xander grinned at him.  "Any others?"

"Nothing this big."

"I want to see them all, son," Landry said firmly.  Cam came out to let him into that doorway.  He stared.  "Any artillery goes to the armory, Mr. Harris."

"I haven't had time to unpack it yet, General."

"I don't care."

"I'll do it once we get this thing done."

"Anything to note with this qualinick?" the bomb tech asked.

"Don't put a charge to it."

"I can do that.  You go unpack that.  Please?  Before you blow up the mountain?"

"It wouldn't do that."  He walked in there to sort and unload things.  Some of it got marked and was going to be put in special storage for him.  That way if they needed it, they could grab it but none of the scientists could get into the advanced weapons.  Xander did pout and pet his guns.  He was allowed to keep those.  Anything below a bazooka since he had a few of those.

The arms master gave the pile he was getting a dirty look then the boy who collected them.  "I'll make you a special room, Harris.  How about that?"

"That's fine.  Make sure it locks and only I can authorize anyone getting into it.  Especially not the design teams.  We'll be putting some things that are too advanced and dangerous in there," Landry ordered.

"I have a vault for those.  It has that glowing crystal that tried to take over people."

"I don't want them near these.  It might take them over."

"Good point."  He nodded and they went to set up the room then carried off the boxes.  The bomb tech got finished with that one and the box was labeled plus a note was added inside about what had been taken out but Xander recopied it in Linear B.  They all smiled at that.  Almost no one read that language but Jackson.  That'd work.  They left him to finish redecorating his new library with Mitchell watching over his shoulder.


In Cardiff, Ianto looked over as a box appeared.  "Interesting."  He paged Jack up to him.  He came up to stare at the box.  "It appeared.  I don't know what it might be."

"Neither do I."  He picked it up.  "It's not heavy.  Let me open it in quarantine."  He carried it down to the hub.  "Owen, set me up a quarantine area," he called as he walked in.  "It appeared."

"Sure."  He did that.  It was them and Gwen, and she didn't know how to do that yet.  He looked over the box before it was put into the field.  Jack opened the box carefully, finding a letter on top of a few bags and things.  Jack pulled out the letter to read, giving it a sad smile.  "Good news?"

"The Doctor had the little bastard Harris send it to me."

"So how did it appear?"

"Apparently he can do that," he said dryly.  He looked inside.  It was some of his favorite treats through the years.  A few new shirts too.  And one sparkly thing.  He held it up.  "Aww, the kid gave me a thermal grenade."  The tag on it said the Doctor didn't think the kid needed *more* weapons.  He snorted.  "I'll let his boss know he has some.  That's so sweet of the Doctor."  He took down the field and opened the top bag.  "Snack?"

Owen took one, eating a corner hesitantly.  "That's strange."

"It's a hybrid fig."  He ate another one.  "I craved these things for months on end sometimes."  He carried the box up to his office to unpack.  The shirts were appreciated, even if one was a bit...sparkly.  The tag on it said it was from a space cruise.  "No wonder," he told it, putting it aside.  Maybe Ianto would rip it off him.  That'd be a good use of it.  He unloaded the other snacks.  Owen came up for another one.  "They're not addictive."

"No but they're good."  He walked off nibbling on his handful.

Jack ate another one.  He had missed some of these.  It was a nice birthday present, even though his wasn't for months yet.  Then again, not like Tardis would land on a certain date most of the time.  He covered up that sparkly shirt before it caught his attention again.  It really was very bright.

To Part 6

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