Notes: small spoilers for season finale of Warehouse 13

The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 3: Differing Realities and Orbits.

Xander blinked because he had just been on Nila talking to Cam about the upcoming week's drill schedule.  Now he was... in a huge ass warehouse that had a lot of Egyptian things.  "Huh," he said.  He looked at the thing next to him.  "Okay, wish related probably."  He could handle that.  He looked around and felt energy, pure energy.

"That's probably not a good sign and probably why I got wished here."  He jogged off, following the energy trail.   He found the glowing orb and concentrated, shorting it out.  It died with a fizzle.  He felt something POWERFUL arc into being near him and went to stop whoever that was.  They had probably summoned him.  "Hey!" he shouted at the woman.  "What the hell do you think you're doing brining me here?"

"Who are you?" she demanded, giving him an odd look.

"Someone wished me here."  He stared at her.  Then he summoned the trident she had.  "Um, no."  He heard more people running and looked.  "Did one of you make the wish that brought me here?"

"Are you a genie?" the male asked.

"No.  I'm a mage though."  He stared at him.  "And have time traveled.  Since this is Ancient Egyptian....  Saw it the first time around," he said at the other woman's opening mouth.  "So, let's talk."

"Why do you have that trident?" the second woman asked.

"Because she had it and I felt it power up.  Since I know *I'm* not going to use it, I'm holding it safely before she does."

"She was probably trying to stop that big orb thingy," the male said.

Xander nodded.  "I did that already.  She fired it up after it got shut down."

"Okay," he decided.   "We're not supposed to be here with you."

Xander smirked.  "I've been a lot of places like that."  He looked at the first woman.  "I doubt it."

"You read minds?" she asked casually.

"No, I'm a time traveler and this isn't my dimension.  So yeah, I kinda have a special gift you guys don't have."  He bound her and looked at the other two.  "Okay then.  Now, what is this place, are we in Ancient Egypt, and which one of you wished me here?"

"We didn't wish," the guy said.  "Can you put that down?"

Xander looked then at the rack, fitting it into the open spot.  It sealed it in.  "Cool."  He looked back at them.  She had a gun.  He summoned it with a dirty look.  "Whoever wished me here probably didn't do it to have me hurt you, lady.  Besides, I carry better."  He handed it to the guy since he was at least rational and calm.  "So, answers?"

"Do you have a name?"

Xander smirked.  "Xander Harris.  Now part of the SGC."

"We don't have an SGC that I know of."

"It's probably top secret if you do," Xander admitted.  "So that means you're not a higher up."

"We know someone who is," she assured him.  "Maybe they can help you get home."

Xander stared at her.  "I can probably get myself home if I have some time to relax and remember how I did it the last time I got displaced.  Right now....  I think we have bigger problems."  Sand was trickling in around their ankles.  "Yes?"

"Yeah, I think this is the ancient version of a self destruct," he agreed.  "We have to get out of here."  They looked, the office was pouring sand already.  "It's the whole freakin' desert," he complained.

Xander sighed and made a portal, waving.  "I'm assuming we're near the Valley of Mages."  He walked the bound one out and the other two followed.  "There."  Their little box buzzed so he stared at it then smiled.  "Huh.  Ancient video conferencing."

"Where are you two?" the man in it demanded.

"The guy who said he was wished up got us out through a portal," the guy with them said.  "He's got HG bound."

"Good!  She's the bad guy."

"Figured since she had a godly weapon," Xander said dryly.  He looked at her then sighed.  "I saw when Willow nearly destroyed the planet."  She gaped.  He stared her down.  "I can't let anyone do that.  It's against my oaths, lady."

"I'm Pete, this is Myka," Pete said.  "Artie, do you know anyone named Xander Harris?"

"Like the guy from that Buffy show?" a female voice said from the box.

"Yes," Xander sighed.  "I'm guessing here we're a tv show?"  They nodded.  "Figures."  He smirked.  "No, I left Sunnydale."

"He's a good guy," the female voice said.  "A bit sarcastic, a white knight personality, and things sometimes went wrong around him."

Xander walked over.  "That was hellmouth taint and now I'm with the most powerful coven in the universes, dear.  I'm not screwing up magic any longer."  He smiled.

She beamed.  "How did you get here?"


"Huh.  I have no clue," she admitted.

"I do," he sighed. " Unfortunately."  He shrugged.  "We'll handle it.  My boys are used to me being gone now and then.  One of them can get the GD people to geekwrangle for me."

"GD?  Global?"  He nodded.  She smiled.  "They're here too."

"I'm not sure you guys are in our world.  Who's in charge here?"


"Fargo, from what I've heard from the ones on Nila, is a lot like me.  But we can fix that.  I can get myself home but it'll take me a bit to gather power."  She nodded.  He looked at the older man stomping their way.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Mr. Harris I presume?"  He nodded.  "Thank you for your help.  How did you do it?"

"I short circuited the orb thingy and then I felt her grab something godly.  I'm assuming Poseidon's trident but that's the only one I remember from mythology on this planet."

"How could you tell the difference?"

Xander grinned.  "Having traveled through time, space, and dimensions...."  The older man whimpered.  "I was in Ancient Egypt a long time ago when someone decided they wanted me and I fought back.  Then I dated a wannabe God-King."

"Demonic?' he asked.


"That we don't have here.  Though I've seen a remnant from your realm that mentioned them."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, there's all sorts of leaks from our world."  He shrugged.  He closed his portal and looked at him again.  "Anyway, all I need is some time and space to draw extra power in.  Is Sunnydale still open here?"

"No.  It was bought and used by the US government back in the forties for bomb testing."

"Excellent."  He grinned. "Let me find my old camping area, see if it's inhabited, and then I'll be out of your hair in a few days."

"We could bring you back to the US with us.  That way you're monitored in case something happens.  Because it's said to around you," the female voice on the box said.

Xander shrugged.  "Whatever.  Though, are we aware that grabbing the trident opened the portal?"  He pointed to the west.  "There's a fairly powerful spike slowly opening that way.  Looks like she woke up someone."

"Shit," Artie said.  "Can you close it?"

"I don't know."  He drew symbols on the sand with his foot and moved them into it then took them there.  "Transport ring.  A D&D world was really fun for that."  He grinned and headed for the opening feeling.  "There's an illusion wall."  He broke it for them but didn't bring it down.  Waking the Old Ones was always a bad idea.  They never had enough coffee on hand for them to be less than cranky.  He walked into the antechamber, looking around.  "Hey, this is Greek.  And we're here with Ares.  Huh."  He walked into the throne/burial room, finding the blinking God of war.  "You're awake and in the wrong time, Lord Ares.  Someone unwisely grabbed a staff of power and woke you by accident."

The god stared at him.  "Why don't you bow?"

Xander switched languages.  "Because I've seen stronger hamster gods than you are right now," he said dryly, staring at him.  "For that matter, I serve the coven of the White Guardian."

The god nodded slowly.  "I remember them.  They were all assholes too."

"True."  He stepped forward.  "Read my memories if you wish."

Ares laid a hand on his head to read it, then nodded.  "The world is screwed."

"Definitely," he agreed, staring at him.  "So can we talk you into taking something to go back to sleep?"

He yawned.  "The power spike woke me."

"I know.  It's back safely stored and won't wake you again.  They drowned it in the sand."

He nodded, blinking hard.  "Maybe I will go back to sleep then.  You're not native."

"No, these are the guardians of the powerful artifacts now," he said with a point.  "On my world, I'm working on Atlantis and Nila."

He smirked.  "I saw.  Good boy."

Xander grinned.  "I try so hard sometimes but now and then....  My boys usually enjoy it though."

"Clearly."  He yawned again.  "It's not an emergency wake up.  I could stay up, help stop some of the pointless things."

"While I think you might like MP3's and all that, you'd overbalance things," Xander said quietly.  "Then we'd all die in a fiery flash."

"True."  He yawned again and Xander levitated him up and into his bed, tucking him in.  "Hmm, better than Mother."

"Of course.  I'm a gay man, I know how to make a comfy bed."  Ares smirked and Xander linked them again to give him happy dreams.  Ares groaned but drifted off happier.  Xander snapped the link and they backed out together.  Xander closed and sealed the doors magically.  Then he looked at the others.  "That's one crisis averted."  He got them back to the US.  "Here?"

"Here," Artie said.  "How did you know?"

"Wherever you spend a lot of time you taint and it taints you.  Your energy reads of here and they were clearly your minions."

"They are," Artie agreed.  "We're very top secret though."

Xander smirked.  "I'm SGC."

"Oh!"  He blinked a few times.  "They shut you guys down here a few years back.  It was all political and we have the gate here, unhooked."


"Where is the city?"

"Pegasus.  Ever's on the edge of the solar system.  Nila's in this galaxy but underwater."

"Thank you."  He got them inside, walking in to find people waiting on them.  "This is Mr. Harris."

The doctor who was there to help Mrs. Fredricks stared at him.  "You have temporal energy."

"I know that."  He grinned.  "Time Agent."

"Yay.  You know one of us?"

"No, I activated a band by accident."


"But the Doctor is very nice."  She blanched.  He smirked.  Then he bowed at the other two.  "Ladies."

"Mr. Harris," Mrs. Fredricks said, scowling some.  "How did you get here?"

"Wish."  He shrugged.  "I can get home, I just need to raise a bit of energy for myself right now."

"Please do.  Do we exist in your time?"

"Not the old ones.  Buffy said something about a warehouse that some demons had tried to get into that held part of my project's stuff."

She blinked a few times.  "What are you?"


"We do have the remnants of it here."

"No, in ours, we have the cities."

"Oh."  She stared.  "That's bad."

Xander nodded.  He frowned and looked around then opened a new portal, saving his step-dragon.  "Why didn't you tell me you came with me, Mira!"  He checked, no Armand.  "Is Armand at home?"  She meeped and cuddled.  "I'm sorry.  If you had let me know I would've brought you with me."  He closed the portal.  "Poor baby."  He calmed her down, petting her gently.  "A friend's pet dragon."

Pete stared, then grinned.  "I knew dragons were real somewhere."  She stared at him.  "My name's Pete.  You're adorable."  She purred and let him pet her ears then hid her head inside Xander's shirt again.  "So, how long do you think it'll take?  We live at a rooming house in the next town."

"Probably not more than a bit.  Unless I can transfer us to the coven's realm and then over."  He shrugged.  He looked at the younger woman, smiling.  "You need to do the meditative training of those gifts of yours.  Before you turn into me on the show."  He winked and transferred to the coven's realm.  The witches all stared at him.

"Not my fault they wished me to a realm that was having a major issue."  He hiked out after grabbing a slice of raisin bread to nibble on his way home.  She got some of it with a happy meep.  "I know, you're a huge ass mooch."  He grinned at her.  "We're nearly home."  He walked past Gomez and Morticia, who got petted.  Then they went into the house and back to Nila.  He handed her to Rodney.  "I didn't realize she was with me until she panicked at all the sand coming in on top of her.  I got her calmed down."

"Thank you.  Who took you?"

Xander shrugged.  "It was a wish situation."  He walked off to find Cam and the person with him.  "Ah, you're the same as the other warehouse's redhead and you still need the meditative training."  She gaped in awe.  "I got wished to another realm where we saved somewhere in Egypt."

"Only you," Cam muttered, shaking his head.

"They accidentally brought Mira but I didn't see her so I had to rescue her from the sand self-destruct.  She's fine, has Daddy and all that."  He looked at her again.  "So, is the Warehouse still around?  Because I'm told you guys have some of our artifacts."

"Yes," she said carefully.  "How do you know about us?"

"Well, someone told Buffy, who told us.  And we're SGC."  She beamed.  "Exactly.  You're on Nila.  Want escorted back?"

"Please.  That way you can explain it to the worried people and maybe we can arrange the transfer over."  Armand came bounding in and leaped at his daddy, getting caught and petted.  "Aww, he's adorable."

"He's my baby dragon."  He grinned.  "Cam, fixing this."

"Please do."  He waved a hand with a pen already held.  "I'm doing reports."  Xander grinned and took her with him.

She looked around then at him.  "How did you know?"

"Area taint."  She got them inside and he looked at the people staring oddly at him.  "I just saw another version of you," he said bluntly.  "Hi, Artie."


"Someone made a wish for someone to handle a situation in Egypt with a glowing ball going critical."

"Oh, dear."

Xander spotted the others and bound the one.  "The you there had just grabbed a godly artifact and awakened Ares.  He's really nice now that he's sleeping again."  He looked at Artie again.  "Also, I'm here because I'm told you have some of our stuff from Atlantis, Nila, and Ever."

Artie blinked a few times.  "Yes, probably.  Who are you?"

"Xander Harris.  Geek to Military liaison on Nila and Atlantis."  He looked down.  "This is my baby dragon Armand."

"Okay," Artie said, nodding.   Pete came in to coo at him, getting petting permission from the dragon and human holding him.  "He could be dangerous, Pete."

"Only if you're an evil bitch," Xander said dryly.  "He was the calm one when I was in whichever realm that was."

"Which godly artifact?" Artie asked.  Claudia pulled up records.

"A trident so I'm guessing Poseidon's.  It power spiked enough that it activated the emergency wake up of Ares."

Claudia gasped, staring at him.  "Was he hot?"

"Very hot but I'm taken.  My boys would object."  Pete smirked at him.  "So would all my other evil ex's."  He shrugged.  "Anyway, Buffy got told that the warehouse did contain bits and pieces of our stuff.  We wanted to negotiate to get them back."

"Nila is where some of the GD scientists are working," Claudia, the redhead said.

"Yup.  I geek wrangle them too."  She grinned.  "So, what can we work out?"

"We're under direct oversight, Mr. Harris."

Xander stared at him.  "We're presidential eyes only ourselves.  Same as GD is."  Artie smiled at that.  "But Atlantis knows it's here.  She's going to invade soon to find it."

"We can keep out a city," Claudia said, frowning some.

Xander snickered.  "Atlantis?  I know you've been sneaky."

"Yes, Xander, I have found all my missing pieces and Nila's as well.  Plus where they are in other warehouses that were supposedly destroyed in the forties so the Nazis could not get them," Atlantis said from the computer.  "I have made a wonderful list and there are two things that radiate on the same wavelength as your magic that may belong to the coven."

"I can make sure they're stored properly," he promised.  "Thank you, dear."  He grinned at Artie, who was looking at him in a horrified way.  "Atlantis has a very smart, very human AI," he said quietly.

"Yes, I am."  Her picture appeared on the monitor after pushing things out of her way.  "Some of the things you have are very dangerous.  Including a staff weapon, Xander."

"Jaffa or Ancient?"


"How did one get down here?"

"We got it from Area 51," Artie said.

"Then it might be Teal'c's.  Huh."  He shrugged.

"How do you know what a Jaffa is?" Artie asked.

"Oooh, I can answer that!" Atlantis squealed with a smile.  She pulled up a picture.  "That is the new Stargate Command compound.  It is next to my technical mother, Nila."

Artie looked then at Xander.  "You're that SGC?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Hell!"

"Basically, sometimes."  He sat down, letting Armand go climb up Pete to sniffle the others better.  He looked at the sour looking African-American woman.  "I believe you talked to my friend Buffy.  She described you well."

"I had.  She told your generals?"

"Yes but it's been a lot of problems recently so they let it slip aside for now.  Now that General Ferretti is in charge instead of Landry, who only used to run Area 51, we're in better shape.  He's one of us from the grunt level."

"Even better," she agreed.  "I would like to see the storage areas on either city."

"The docking station and labs are on Nila," he told her.  "We're not so much on storage as fixing, looking over, all that."

"All the things here are dangerous," she said firmly.

"Wouldn't that depend on who uses it?" he countered.  "In my hands a staff weapon is very dangerous.  I've taken out a good portion of a military troupe with one."  She gaped.  He shrugged.  "We do have enemies."

"Good point.  The others are probably not weapons."

"They're probably unstable and someone figured out a bit or used the energy they contain to do something stupid," he said.  "Which I fully agree with.  I've had to stop a few scientists making paradox engines."  She shuddered.  He nodded.  "But... in our hands it's not dangerous, we may be able to fix it so it's not leaking if it is, and I need to look at those coven things because leaking mystical artifacts cause problems."

"Xander, they may have a point.  One is a weapon part," Atlantis said.  "But it is broken.  Plus they do have a partially charged ZPM.  It's presently trying to get power to the artifact next to it that is sucking at it."

"That's dangerous," he said, looking at Claudia.  "Lead me there."  The others all stared.  He stood up.  "A ZPM making attempt destroyed nine-tenths of a solar system, people.  It's void and compressed energy."  Pete shuddered and got the coordinates, leading him down there.  Xander paused at one and put a shield around it.  "That's drawing people to it for snacking purposes."  They found the ZPM and the artifact.  Xander disconnected the artifact and broke it.  "Temporal bomb."

"Thank you for the warning."  He read the files on it.  "It said it was some sort of explosive device but they weren't sure what."

"I am."  He picked up the ZPM to look them over.  Rodney had made sure he knew what one felt and looked like.  "We're a beauty, precious.  Nearly full too."  He carefully carried it back.  The foam case they had it in was actually holding open a part of it, letting it drain.   He carefully put it on a desk and smiled at Artie.  "I stopped the one thing that was calling people in to be nibbled on.  I disconnected the temporal bomb next to it and broke it so even if someone steals it they can't get it to work."

Artie swallowed, finding the files since Pete was pulling them up.  "We had wondered what that was."

Xander shrugged, sitting down again.  Armand came over from petting Claudia's hair to sit on his lap.  "Hi, Armand."  He smiled.  Then at Artie.  "I'm most often known as a problem solver."

"I've heard about some of them," Mrs. Fredricks noted.  "The Trust?"

Xander stared her down.  "Are you really going to complain about that militant band that wanted to hoard all technology and kill people?"


"Good.  I was hoping you weren't snaked by them."

"They tried, it was unsuccessful."

"Cool.  I dated one without knowing it but that was back in Ancient Eygpt."  She gaped.  He smirked.  "When I found out, we had the Mother of all domestic issues.  I even pulled out a hand grenade."

She nodded.  "Good."  He grinned.  "You're clearly not the normal human."

"No, I'm a hellmouth baby.  I'm also the one that shut down Sunnydale."

"I saw that.  Nice work."

"Thank you."

"Where is the new one?"


"The politicians must hate that."  He nodded.  "Can you transfer it?"

"A hellmouth is a thin spot in the barriers between realms.  We can't really move it but I'm looking over to see if we can repair some of them."

"That might help, yes."  She sighed.  "I can work out with your general about moving your things back there as long as they'll be safe."  Xander summoned Ferretti, who gave him a dirty look.  "Were you busy?' she asked dryly.

"I was chewing Walter a new one for the base-wide music fest we had today as an ongoing bit of the war between the hard and the soft sciences."

"I heard," Xander said dryly.  "And I told Walter to quit taking sides.  I was going to weigh in tonight with a game version of stopping the fighting."

"Thanks, Harris.  You're a nice warrior geek to know," he said dryly.

"General," Atlantis said.

He looked around.  "Atlantis, did you invade these people's computers without permission?"

"They have some of our things."

"That's still not polite, young lady."

"I'm sorry but I didn't want them in such mundane hands.  They can deal with the other strange things and the artifacts that Xander would normally.  Or the things that GD makes and can't use because it could destroy everyone."

He looked at the computer and she changed the window so she was showing again.  "It's still not nice, Atlantis.  Apologize.  Now."

"I'm sorry I invaded your system without authorization or permission," she told Artie.

He smiled.  "It's nice to see some good technology like you, Atlantis.  Give me the list and we'll talk with your general about it."  She grinned and pulled up her list again.  "Thank you."

Claudia leaned over.  "Have you talked to the baby AI's at GD?  Fargo said they're learning fast."

"I have.  Since we're linked I helped them a bit.  They were still learning strategy so I played Monopoly with them."

Ferretti looked at her.  "With permission?"

"The idiot making them has no idea what he's created," she said bluntly.  "Even Doctor Kavanagh calls him an idiot.  He was trying to make a new virus and created three baby AI's."

"Have you talked to the head people about them?" Xander asked patiently.  "Because they're supposedly top secret too."

"Yes, I have.  Fargo was quite stunned but very nice and agreed I could chat with them so they weren't lonely.  We had a good four hour talk about being alone."  She smiled.

"Then, as long as he doesn't mind and no classified information gets exchanged, that's fine with me," Ferretti said.  "From now on, ask me and them."

"Yes, sir," she said, ducking her head.

"You're acting like a teenage girl, congrats," he said.  She beamed and waved then disappeared.  He shook his head.  "Harris?"

"She used to be like a mature librarian until we interacted.  I think it's good for her and aids in her sentience but she does need to ask."

"Thank you.  Can you travel to GD to talk to them?"

"Sure.  I need to talk to their head guy anyway because I'm about to throw two of their people off for fighting again."

"Decent.  Did you...."  Xander smirked and nodded.  "I'll go with you then.  That way you don't end up involved in the crisis of the week up there."  He looked at Artie again.  "I love them but Xander still draws evil things who want him."

Xander snorted.  "Please!  Radek fixed the last one."  He gave him a smug look.  "He is very possessive."

"Good!  We've seen two too many of your ex's already."  He shook his head.  "Where did you disappear to?"

"These nice people in another realm somehow wished me there to handle a huge ass issue in the one in Egypt and a bad guy."  He pointed at her.  "Who woke up a god."

"As in gou'ald?" Ferretti asked.

"As in Ares, God of War.  It's an emergency switch in case someone uses one of their power holders wrong."

"Oh, shit," Ferretti said.  "Are they here too?"

Xander shrugged.  "Daniel and I can go check if you want."

"I'd never send just you two.  You'd get into trouble."

"We balance out each other's instincts actually."

"Uh-huh.  Yay."  He shook his head quickly.  He looked at Artie.  "Is that thing available to be used here?"

"No.  The old warehouses were destroyed during World War II when we heard Nazis got wind of them.  Only this one still exists."

"Thank God."

"Destroyed how?" Xander asked.  They all stared at him.  "A physical bomb in a place that size would've done some damage but I'm betting there's some left and someone is digging in the Valley of the Mages so they might come across the edge of the building."

"Good point.  Claudia, figure out who they are."

"Sure."  She sat down at the other system to figure that out.  She glared at the bound woman, who looked down.  "It looks like we funded them."

He came over to look over her shoulder then at the woman.  "Why?"

"She wants people to feel like her," Xander said dryly.  "The same reason Willow nearly did the earth in."  He petted his dragon.  Ferretti looked at him.  "Yes, I helped stop her."

"Thank you."

"NP, General."  He smiled at his dragon.  "She's gotten help, gotten dead, come back with a former member of the coven attached to her, and she's still magic addicted."

"How likely is that at your level?" Mrs. Fredericks asked.

Xander shook his head.  "I don't use it for everything.  She was taking showers, doing her hair, changing clothes with hers.  She was doing power raising stuff and I have plenty.  To be honest, I'm more powerful than most people are comfortable with thanks to the hellmouth taint.  Also, I've been in that sort of grief.  I didn't try to destroy people then.  Made a lot feel miserable but I tended to hide and cry instead."  She nodded, relaxing some.  "I have a whole coven that would come after my ass if I did something like that.  That's their job."

She smirked.  "Good.  This other one?"

"Willow?  They know.  That's why she's got a former member attached to her soul."  He stared at her.  "If we have to take her out, we know it's our duty."

"Thank you for that worry easing."  She stared at him.  "We do have a way to handle that here.  We call it Bronzing."

"I heard," he said dryly.  "The underground calls you a fucking psycho for that habit."  He grinned sweetly.  She laughed but nodded.  "We'll kill her, thanks anyway."

"Fine."  She smirked at the general.  "I like him, he's honest."

"Just don't be like his ex's and evil?" he offered.

"I'd never take in someone so young."

"Radek would make weapons to take you out anyway," Xander said smugly.  "He'd teach Evan how to use them."

"I'm sure he would.  It's good when your lovers are possessive of you."  He lifted his shirt and she gasped.  "No wonder."  She patted him on the head.  "Much safer as well."

He shrugged.  "Not really."

She walked off laughing.  She liked that young, upstart boy.  He was adorable.

He smirked at Claudia.  "I like making evil things laugh."  She cackled, shaking her head.

Ferretti looked at him.  "Behave, Harris."

"Yes, sir."

"Go gather those two and come right back here, waiting outside for us."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Don't think I won't spank."

Xander grinned.  "You look like fun but Radek would really mind."  He disappeared.

Ferretti shook his head.  "Sorry, he's having a playful day."

"Claudia and Pete have the same sort of days," Artie assured him with a smile.  "He was surprisingly competent and able to get his point across very well.  I haven't seen Mrs. Fredericks laugh like that in years."

"He's good at playing the goofball so you underestimate him.  O'Neill told me he did it for weeks on base.  Until they ran into a problem, which he handled."

"That figures.  Pete does the same thing sometimes."  He smirked and they went back to the list.  Ferretti had no idea what some of them were but that AI had been helpful in pointing out what it was by proper name and something called 'Marine naming code'.  He pointed at one.  "You have Marines that can't use proper english?"

"Most of the time they call it what it's used for or an acronym."

"I guess I can understand that."

Claudia smiled at the others.  "I'll call Fargo to warn him you're coming."  She bounced off to do that.

Pete looked at his partner.  "Am I really that goofy?"

"Now and then," Myka agreed.  "We put up with you anyway."

"Hey," he complained, walking off.  "You're mean today.  I should find those drugged chocolates from the sixties for you."

"Don't make me beat you both," Artie called after them.  He rolled his eyes.  "I can send them to pick up some stuff if you have things for us."

Ferretti shrugged.  "I don't know if we do or not.  Send them to Eureka for a few days of vacation."

"What did Eureka do to you?" he asked with a smirk.

"Fargo.  I was under McMahon."

"Oh, dear.  I'm so sorry."

"Me too sometimes but he's not allowed on Nila at all."

"No, that might be a bad thing."  Artie sent Pete and Myka to pull things for them.  That way they could check them over.  There was no telling what other things might be attracted to the general since the SGC was so strange.  He might set off anything they had stored.


Xander reappeared in front of Stark.  "Those two we talked about are getting a free ride home."

"I've already got them packed.  They annoyed me to no end this morning."  Xander smiled.  "Be careful, Fargo's in charge right now while Allison's on maternity leave."

"I heard.  It's fine.  I'm told Fargo's a lot like I was before I traveled."  He created a transport ring and brought them plus their things.  Plus Dr. Stark.  "Needed a lift too?" he joked.

"I have to make sure Fargo hasn't torn up anything else.  Why are we at the Warehouse?"

"Buffy said a demon found some of the cities' stuff in there when it tried to break in.  So the general is in there negotiating and told us to wait out here."

"That's fine.  Though we could move to the shade."  Xander put up a small shady spot overhead.  "That's handy," he said, staring at him.  Xander just grinned back.  "Don't teach Fargo."

"Of course not.  Not unless he has the gift and asks."

"Even then, don't teach Fargo magic."  The general got beamed out.  "We done?"

"We are.  The geeks there will have a lot more to explore.  The next time they find something of ours, we can send Xander to liaison here."  Xander beamed at him for it.  "Plus they're sending us some stuff to translate too."

"Cool," Xander agreed.  He helped the general into the transport ring, checked the symbols, redrawing one and moving one of the idiots off them.  He doublechecked then took them back to GD.  "Ah, home sweet home for some of you."  He smiled at the idiots.  "It was a pleasure geek wrangling you two.  I hope you guys have exciting careers."  They grumbled but went inside.  He smirked at the general.

"More polite than I usually see you, Harris," he said dryly.

Xander snickered.  "They might get to come back and they'll spread bad rumors about me.  You, I don't care if you spread bad rumors about it.  It'll mean more politicians leaving me alone."  Ferretti burst out laughing and nodded.  Xander grinned at Stark.  "You either."

"You're an ass when you want to be, the same as I am," he said dryly.  "You're honest about it which is better than most of them.  Can you destroy this before Fargo or our sheriff stumbles into it and accidentally sends themselves off?"

"Sure."  He erased them and they went inside.  They found a young guy, about Xander's age, in glasses watching them.  "Doug?"

"Xander?" he asked.

"You know they keep saying Fargo and I never put it together."  He gave him a hug.  "How's things?"

"Decent enough."  He smiled.  "Hi, Dr. Stark.  Dr. Blake is waiting on you to call her at home."

"That's fine, Fargo."

"Fargo, you can't come to Nila," Ferretti told him.  "We have enough of a probability generator in Harris here.  You'd cause destruction."

"I understand fully, General.  Maybe we'll switch out some day."  He beamed at Xander, walking him off.  "So, why were they kicked off?"

"Continued fighting.  The Marines were taking bets again."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I can mark that in their files."  He led him to his office.  "Out, Larry."

"He's not wearing an ID," Larry said snottily.

Xander smirked at him.  "I'm the geek to military liaison on Nila, little boy.  Back down before you never get to my city."  Larry stomped off.  "What a putz," he said, making sure he heard it.

"He wants what I have very badly," Fargo said with a grin.

"I have a few of those too.  Got shot by one."  He sat down and put his feet up.  "So, how's things been?"

"Not bad.  I talked with your AI the other day."

"Atlantis said she had talked to you."

"She's very sweet."

"All of them are.  Though Atlantis has been taught to swear in French by Faith."  Fargo snickered, nodding.  "She'll probably introduce you to Botany, Nila, and Eterna sometime soon."

"She's wonderful and the artificial intelligence project here is drooling to talk to her more about how she evolved."

"A long time alone yet aware," he said quietly.  "All of them."

"Poor women."  He got comfortable.  "Do they know that you can do the sparkling stuff?" he asked quietly.

"I freaked Dr. Stark out and he told me I was not allowed to teach you."

"I think it was nice the coven told you the same thing when you rescued me."

Xander grinned.  "That was a fun trip."  They smirked at each other.  He saw guards stomping his way and pulled out his ID, holding it up when they walked in.  "I came with General Ferretti.  I'm here talking with a friend.  If you don't like it, shoot the idiot up the ass with rubber bullets, guys."  He let one of them take it.

"Sir, who are you with the SGC?"

"I'm the geek to military liaison."

"Oh!  That's where I've heard your name.  A few of our scientists said you were nice about giving them things that weren't classified."  He handed it back.  "Tentacle plants?"

"You can find them in some of the strangest places."  He summoned one and made it grow a bit, handing it to Fargo.  "For your office."

He grinned and put it in the window.   "Bug eater?"

"Anything eater.  It's an offspring of my Morticia."

"Wonderful."  He smiled.  "I'm sure he's perfectly harmless today, people."  They nodded and left, complaining about Larry.  "Larry, since you're so concerned, go do a badge inventory to see who needs a new one.  ID sent up a request to have someone do one last week.  They need it done before they order the new machine in three days."  He growled but stomped off.  Fargo grinned.  "If he did it right, he could do it in an hour.  Of course, he won't so he'll be doing it for the next three days."  Xander snickered.  "Anyway."  He grinned.  "I've heard rumors that you settled down?"

"My boys are good to me.  They worry a lot too."

"Aww."  He grinned.  "I need one of those."

"You should, yeah."

Ferretti walked in.  "I'm almost scared you two know each other.  How?  Please tell me he doesn't work with the coven?"

"I rescued him once," Xander said.  "While I was traveling."

"Thank God."  He smiled.  "We almost done catching up, kid?  Your men have to be worried."

"Yup."  He winked at Fargo.  "Yell and we can hit lunch sometime."  He took Ferretti back with him to the base.  "Stark was staying, right?"

"Yeah," he said, taking a few deep breaths.  "When does that quit making you puke?"

"Don't know," Xander admitted.  "It's set to my energy signature so it might bother everyone else."  He shrugged and bounced off.  "I'm okay, Radek.  It was a desperate wish to have someone handle something."

Radek looked at him.  "Is good.  Why are you so happy?"

"He got us the stuff that was stored in the Warehouse," Ferretti said.  "And he got to catch up with Fargo."  He walked off shaking his head.  Harris and Fargo being friends was a bad thought to have.

Radek looked him over.  "Unharmed?"

"Not a bit of harm.  I even helped put a God back to sleep."  He grinned a manic grin.

"No more chocolate for you."  He gave him a quick kiss.  "Go get soda and back to work on new things."  Xander nodded, heading to do that.  Radek followed.  Xander was very bouncy.  Much too much energy.  He would have to make him wear it out later.

Evan watched Xander bounce past him.  "Sparring lessons later, Xander."

"Yes, sir," he quipped with an evil smirk.  "I was a good boy."


"There."  He went to pick up the things and take them to a free lab.  "My people, we have found a hidden cache of things from the cities," he announced over the intercoms.  Scientists came running to get hold of them.  Including McKay and Radek.  Nila created floating projections over each one that listed what it was and the 'Marine classification' name.  That helped them a lot.

Rodney looked at one.  "Energy weapon isn't very specific."

"That's what I forgot," Xander sighed, popping back there.  "Did I leave that ZPM, Artie?"

"You did," he admitted, handing it over.  "What's wrong with the case?"

Xander pointed.  "That's a contact and it had it pressed open.  It's how the thing next to it was leaching off.  Speaking of, want me to destroy that?"

"Please.  Before we all go temporal traveling."

Xander grinned.  "I have a blippy for that."  He took them back to the base.  "Mean Uncle Rodney, I have two presents for you."  He grinned when Rodney slowly looked at him. "Which do you want first?"

"Are they dangerous?"

"Yes.  Both of them."

"Are they weapons?"


John Sheppard walked in.  "Oh, my God, you found a ZPM," he said in awe.  "What's the egg thing?"

"A temporal bomb I broke."  Rodney pushed people out of his way to get them.  He was all but cooing at the ZPM.  "Yes, I said you needed a new Precious."

"Colonel, hit him for me."  He walked off to scan it and make it ready for implantation.  Sam could argue but it was going into Atlantis' systems.  That way if they had to fight they could.

Xander punched John on the arm.  "I meant for him to guess and get flustered first," he complained.

John smirked.  "Then he would've hit you himself."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Why are you so high on energy?"

"I don't know."  He grinned and bounced off.  "Daniel, what would you say if I told you there were partially destroyed artifact warehouses around the world?"

"Technological artifacts?"

"Not mostly."

"Are they owned by anyone?"

"Destroyed supposedly so the Nazis couldn't get to them."

"I'd say you probably need a really good archeological team.  You'd have to get permission from the former owners and Ferretti."  Xander pouted at him.  "Oh, no.  No."


"Hell no."  He walked him off.  "He wanted to talk about a dig to find some supposedly destroyed artifacts?"

Ferretti looked at him.  "They're thinking about the same thing.  Would you have anything in them?"

"I don't think I left anything with power in Greece or Egypt," he admitted.  Ferretti gaped.  He grinned.  "That's where I dated SiSi."

"You're insane, Harris, go nap."

"He's high on something like chocolate," Daniel warned.

"I think it was the energy link where I was helping put that God back to sleep again."

"I want a report on that," Ferretti said.  "You can sit in here and fill it out for me, Harris."  He gave him a smug look.  "Then we'll talk about some geeks going to dig up things for you and those people."

"Did we ever figure out where the storage area for emergency city evacuations was?" Xander asked him.  They both gave him odd looks.  "When Atlantis was here, they would've had to have an evacuation point in case of problems.  Right?"

"There's protocols on both cities for that, yes," Daniel agreed cautiously.  "I don't think they left them though.  Atlantis?"  She appeared, smiling at him.  "Did the Ancients leave the emergency evacuation points down here?"

"I don't believe they ever took the stored supplies out," she admitted.  "I don't remember putting them back into my inventory."  She paused then shook her head.  "No, they're not in my inventory at all, Daniel."

"Would they still be able to be found?" Ferretti asked.

"Yes.  Calculating for continental drift.... accessing satellite images.  Yes, I can find them."  She smiled.  "Is Daniel going to go?  I know he misses digs."

"Maybe," Ferretti said.  "Can you give me what information you have on those so we can see if there's anything priority like a stored ZPM maybe?"

"Of course."  She transferred that onto his system.  "Someone will have to translate it for you of course."  She faded out.  The humans loved doing things for themselves and it pleased her to no end that they weren't dependent beings.

Ferretti looked over the list, letting Daniel run the translating program on it.  Miko had made one for Ancient for things that got included in reports.  He nodded slowly.  "That's a good storehouse to find for the soft sciences but nothing that McKay or Carter could use."  He looked up at Daniel.  "If we had geeks who wanted to go searching that's not a bad idea before they get found by others."

"What I was thinking was that the same group could find the other storehouses since I'm pretty sure there were more things from the city in the earlier ones.  They would've seemed more fantastic than a wish granting cup."

"True," he agreed.  Ferretti leaned back in his chair, staring outside.  "We need most of our archeo team to do off-world digs right now."

"We have the use of GD's teams and they've sent stuff to Artie," Xander pointed out.  "There hasn't be a quiet dig in years."

"Also true.  How much of it might be yours?"

Xander shrugged.  "As far as I know, none.   I hope."

"You seem awfully pushy."

"That's because I'm bored," he said dryly.  "I've translated most of the stuff we have.  The other translators are feeling bored too.  Beyond some hidden files on Nila, we haven't had an off-world dig in months because Landry canceled them all as too dangerous."

"We have a list of digs that we wanted to go on," Daniel said.

"I had a team checking a lot of them out and they're totally destroyed," Ferretti sighed.  "I don't know why.  That temple?  It's in rubble now."

Daniel grimaced but nodded.  "I'm guessing someone else didn't want us to see it.  Xander?"

"No.  We are not doing temporal travel for that," Ferretti said.  "Good reasons to save us all, yes.  Any old thing, no."

"As a point of order, Hammond and Landry let anything that wasn't an energy weapon slip out of our hands," Xander said.  "Even Jack did it.  We understand we're in a military project but we had whole cultures that ran on alternative energy we would've used the hell out of if we had bargained for it.  Then a lot of times we made enemies of them."

"I remember," Ferretti said.  "The geek on my team got so damn mad at Hammond when he classified something that could've been very useful to humanity as unnecessary and blacklisted it.  That is the military mindset and we were at war."

"We're still at war.  We still need better energy sources."

"True."  He sighed.  "I don't see how I can change that now.  Like you said, some are destroyed, some are enemies."

"So you send a wandering group of scientists that only want to learn," Xander said with a small shrug.  "Ones not obviously with the program, just allowed to use our gateway."

"The natives could still hurt them," Daniel said.  "A few we made absolute enemies of."

"Are you proposing we make a corporate arm?" Ferretti asked him.  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"To fund our asses.  Congress is going to decide that we're not worth it within a few years.  The argument over the bill to build the rest of the stuff out here was on CNN this morning.  They didn't show a single person for it.  None of the comments, nothing.  Even with the knowledge that we've been attacked before, will be attacked again, and all that.  They're paranoid."  He leaned forward.  "Because of that, other groups within the DoD are getting cuts too probably.  So GD is going to end up in the same boat."

"I saw what happened when they tried to make GD more fiscally handy."

"But if we had something ready, we can take in GD when it gets cut," Daniel said.  Xander nodded.  "Is this forewarning?"

"Extrapolation.  I'd guess within five years."

"What if we let them know about the wraith?" Ferretti asked.

"How dare we bring back something the aliens that want to kill us want to own.  A direct quote from someone who was IOA," Daniel said quietly.  "The scientists have a shell company for anything too big to go out."

"The DoD cut it out of next year's budget," Ferretti sighed.  "Hell, he's right.  We can lean on GD for a while but not forever.  Can you get me Stark, Xander?"  He summoned him, making him fall on his ass.  "Sorry, I asked him to get you."  He glared at Xander.

"It's faster."

"He could've been doing something," Daniel reminded him.

"I would've scared him into a heart attack popping in behind him in the bathroom."  He looked at Stark now that he was standing.  "Doing some extrapolating, have you seen the current climate for GD retaining income from the DoD?"

"We have been discussing that," he admitted.  He sat down.  "We're starting to look at corporate options outside of the Defense Department."

"Does General McMahon know?" Ferretti asked.

"He knows we're working on things.  Not what things.  I have asked him to have the town turned over to GD ownership instead of the government.  He wanted to know why so I laid out what had happened with the budget last year and what might happen in the future.  Some of our math department assigned it to their interns as a project.  He was not impressed but agreed it might happen.  So GD officially owns Eureka now instead of the government.  He agrees we need a way to make some of our own money, which a corporate arm would help with.  Which would probably let us absorb you guys if it came to it."  Ferretti nodded.  "Though it might mean cutting positions."

"That's better than leaving us helpless."

Daniel coughed.  "What about UNIT, would they help?" he asked Xander.  Who shrugged.

"They want more control than either of us are willing to give up," Stark told him.  "They'd like to raid Xander's things as well."

"Which is another good reason why I moved them," Xander agreed.  He shifted to cross his feet.  "There's a whole bunch of science stuff that's not getting done because of funding.  I don't like DARPA."

"The Defense Department's version of a rejected projects award?" Stark snorted.  "Us either."

Xander smirked.  "A lot of it could work but the scientists realized that they were making weapons."

"True.  Why haven't you applied for one?"

"What I know I can't even teach you guys, much less make them weapons.  And I hate to say this, but before the next alien thing is another huge ass demon thing."  Ferretti shuddered.  "Exactly.  So we might need to shield the two slayers too.  In a way we're like the Super National Guard.  That is how a lot of people are thinking of us really."

Ferretti nodded.  "They do, yeah."

"In that other dimension I landed in earlier, they shut the SGC due to the dangers that it brought here.  That Artie said it's stored in his warehouse."

"Interesting.  I'm sure some have thought about that here, especially after something happens.  Before we had oversight so they probably felt more comfortable."

"Some people worry more about the bottom line than the overall problems it causes," Xander agreed.  "Torchwood had that problem for years.  They used to be the problem half the time.  Then Jack took over."

Daniel nodded.  "I read up on that history and talked to Ianto.  They have a permanent funding though."

"We could but we'd have to work on it," Xander admitted.  "And probably cloak the cities sometimes to make sure no one could attack against it.  That was on CNN this morning too.  They wanted to shut down the cities so it wouldn't draw any more attention."

"So, if we gave them things that were good for humanity it might help," Stark said.  Xander nodded.  "Probably not all but the bean counters who only worry about the bottom line would have something to concentrate on.  Something expensive to build so they could bitch and whine but would save thousands a year and pay for itself."

"Sounds like starting up the ZPM city power project sooner," Daniel said.  Stark stared at him.  "That was Rodney's plan all along."

Ferretti nodded.  "If we could figure out how to make more safely."

"We know now," Daniel corrected.  "Sam figured it out by accident but it takes making a void portal."  Xander smirked.  "Which you helped Rodney figure out how to do easier and more safely."  He nodded.  "Plus that energy source."  Xander nodded again with a bigger smirk.

"That humming thing is void energy?" Stark demanded, looking at Xander.

"Yeah.  A triple use system as well so not so much of it is wasted.  The void portal's about as big as my fist."

"Can it be safely shut down?"

"Yeah, and moved," Xander said dryly.  "No ecological waste unless someone makes it too big."

"That's a very good idea," he decided.  "Our alternate power people would love to study that."

"They have to learn at Rodney's knee.  Plus for Ever's solar system, which is much more efficient and has less wasted energy."

"Very interesting."  He tapped in a message to someone back in Eureka.  Then he put his phone up again.  "We could easily fund ourselves with that.  Get a DARPA grant for the new energy research to start it off and put it under corporate status.  Then branch out from there."

Xander coughed.  "Plus, since I had Ever make this floating compound, it kinda belongs to those who are in command of the city."

The general smirked at him.  "Who is the ruling board for Ever?"

"Me, Radek, Evan, John, Rodney, Dawn, Owen, Jack, Ianto, the Doctor, and Eterna."

"So we're basically non-rent paying because you're working with us," Ferretti said.  Xander gave him an evil smirk.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome."  He texted the others.  They came in.  "Since we're all on Ever's board and she's responsible for the most amazing things locally."

John smirked.  "I saw Evan trying to figure out what you were worrying about."

"Budget cuts to the point of permanent shutdown," Dr. Stark said.  "The same as GD is."

"That's a hell of a worry.  We could move the SGC under UNIT."

"They'd want to put in their own head people," Ferretti said.  "Plus that would end all exploration."

"Does the gate belong to the government?" Xander asked.  They all nodded.  "Are we sure?  It was found at a private dig, not sponsored by the government.  They had it in storage for some reason.  Though, hell, if we needed to we could go steal another one."

"That would be using government property," Stark said.

"Not if we build another ship," Xander told him.  "I don't think the contracts were for the future ones?"

"That they had first option but it was not going to belong to them," Rodney agreed.  "I foresaw this as well.  There's many too many nervous and paranoid people on this planet."

"So maybe Ever will become the new GD," Xander said.

Eterna appeared.  "Would that mean more people to come take care of my meat beasts?" she asked with a smile.

"We're talking about eventualities for when the paranoid people win and the program is shut down.  I'll be there to handle the cows tonight."

"Thank you, Xander."

"I would like to get a good look at Ever," Stark said casually.  "The photos some of my people have taken show spectacular views."

She smiled at him.  "You are so adorable," she said, pinching his cheek.  "I'll see if the others will agree."

John looked around.  He called Jack and Ianto's desk lines.  "Guys, Stark, from GD, wants to see Eterna and we have to look after the cows tonight.  Anyone mind?"

"That's fine with us," Ianto said.  We know you wouldn't bring anyone harmful there.  Oh, dear."  He hung up.

"That was a Giles-like oh dear," Xander said.  "Be right back."  He disappeared without standing up.  He saw the creature there and looked around.  "Do we have a temporal rip?"

"I believe we do," Ianto said, staring.  "Lisa?"

Xander looked then knocked him out.  "That's a kindness to him."  He blasted the cyberman Lisa.   She exploded into parts.  "I don't think we need more of those."  He called.  "Dawn, where is the temporal rip?"  He listened.  "Need help?"  He nodded.  "No, we had a ....  Tell Jack I knocked Ianto out because it was a kindness."  He hung up.  Tosh came running in.  He nodded.  "I'm hoping she does have it."

"She's closing it now," she said.

"Thank God.  Here, let me float Ianto into the office."  He floated him that way then helped her clean up the remaining mess.  No one needed to see that.  Jack rushed in.  "Is it closed?"

"Yes."  He saw the mess and took a deep breath.  "Ianto?"

"He was staring at her and said her name.  I knocked him out.  He's on your couch."

"Thank you, Xander."  He clapped him on the arm as he walked past him to check on Ianto.

Xander and Tosh shared a look, him giving her a weak smile.  "It'll be cool.  Give them a bit of time to relax."  She nodded.  He helped her toss the rest of the mess into the incinerator.  Dawn walked down to look over his shoulder.  "I'm thinking he knew her."

"Yeah, Owen said she used to be his girlfriend and he saved her, kept her in the underground portion of the old hub.  She ended up attacking."

"We didn't give her that chance this time."  He made sure all the pieces were gone, going up to gather one.  Ianto was holding it.  He took it from his hand, staring at him.  "Let us," he said quietly.  He nodded, letting Xander walk off with that last piece.

Dawn came up to hug Ianto, making him relax and smile at her.  She grinned.  "You have a great thing and we love you in our family."

He gave her a squeeze.  "I love you too but that skirt is again too short."

She grinned.  "I'm teasing Owen horribly all day."

"Quite flirty then."  She gave him an extra squeeze.  "I'll be all right.  I came to terms with that a long time ago."  He smiled at Jack, who smirked back.  "Though I'm not sure I'd do the same for him."

"Dad would be horrible as a robot without a libido.  It'd be a waste of all that makes him Jack."

"True."  He kissed her on the forehead, then went over to Jack.  Jack gave his wrist a squeeze.  Ianto gave him a hug, getting one back.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, though if I ever get changed, don't ....  Let the Doctor do it instead of you or Xander," he said quietly.

"I'll try."  Jack nodded, taking a kiss.  "Dawn, is it closed?"

"Yes."  Xander walked up with Tosh.   "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He tweaked her ear.  "Dr. Stark wanted to see Ever?"

"Fine with us," Jack assured him.

"Owen won't be minding tonight," she said with a smirk.

Xander smirked.  "Let us know if there's more of them down here."  He disappeared back to the office.  "All the board is unanimous."  He looked around.  "Okay, the meeting broke up."  He walked off, going to find them.  "Sorry, we had a temporal rip in Cardiff.  Ianto's former girlfriend showed up," he said as he sat down across from Stark.

"That's a bad thing?"

"Well, she was a cyberman."

"Yeah, that's a bad thing," he decided.  Xander nodded.  "Did they agree?"

"Yup.  The only one that didn't get a vote was Owen.  Dawn said he'd be too busy to notice tonight."

Ferretti smirked.  "She's a mouthy little girl."

"She's fully legal and she drives him nuts on purpose."

"It was a fun game when I was married too," Stark agreed.  "Used to drive Allie nuts."

Xander grinned.  "I teased the ones I had on my trip but never as bad as she did.  I couldn't wear the flirty skirts."

"Not a mental picture I needed," Ferretti said.

"We'd never let him do it now," Evan said from his spot.  He looked down at Xander, who shifted down to sit between his boys again.  Evan smirked.  Xander winked back.  "Pond tonight?"

"That'll be cool.  We can let Stark look around after we take care of the cows."

"That'll work," he agreed.  He handed Xander his coffee.  "Get me some more when you get your dinner."

"Yup."  He went to do that.

"Subtle, I like it," John said dryly.

"It's better than nagging and it reminds him we want him to not starve."

"I'm not starving," Xander said as he sat down, handing Evan his refilled coffee cup.  "I've been good today."

"You haven't eaten since six this morning when you were making omelettes and then you got called away to break up the fight again."  He stared at him.  "Radek, didn't you miss lunch too?"

"I am eating, unlike Xander."  He stuffed his mouth.  "I'm sure he expended much energy."

Xander stared at him.  "What did I do to piss you off this time?"

"You did not warn us you were going across realms."

"I didn't plan on that.  I got yanked."  Radek dropped his fork.  "It looked like a wish situation, someone wished for someone who could handle the huge ass problem.  All I had to do was short circuit it, bind the bad girl, take the godly weapon from her, open a portal, and then make sure Ares went back to sleep."  Evan moaned and Rodney stared at him in horror.

"Touching the godly weapon and firing it up means that the emergency procedures to stop someone from using it happen.  I let him read my mind and gave him happy thoughts for sleeping to.  He's safely back asleep so I sealed the area.  Not a whole lot of energy needed because I went to the coven and back through the house."

Rodney stared at him.  "At what point did Mira get nearly buried?"

"I didn't realize she was with me.  I didn't see her when I looked around.  The self destruct on that warehouse was leaking most of the desert into it.  She's linked close enough to me as an uncle sort that she could send me that.  I reopened the portal and rescued her.  I got her calmed down and cuddled plus apologized."

"Thank you for rescuing her.  Who wished?" Rodney asked.

"I don't know.  I couldn't figure that out and no one admitted it."

"Then you went back there to talk them out of our stuff," Ferretti quipped with a smirk.  "Thanks, kid."

"Buffy found out and told Landry."

"That was another thing he let slip," Ferretti agreed.  "I'm looking over the others."

"Do we know anything else about this warehouse?" Stark asked.  "Who started it?  Is it government sponsored?"

"The two people there were agents," Xander said.  "Because they stood that agent-y stiff way.  As for who started it?  I'd have to take a guess."  They all stared at him.  He smirked at Rodney.

"You think the Doctor started it?" he asked.

Xander nodded.  "Way too much strange shit for anyone who wasn't used to it.  Government or other higher ups would want to use it.  Only someone like us, or the Council, would want to hide it away from people.  If it was the Council then they would've pulled in more demon related stuff.  I didn't see any.  Plus that nasty little habit of 'bronzing' people who get in the way.  It's not killing them, only taking them out of the temporal problems they're causing."

"We'll have to ask," Stark said.  "If he was real."

"We've all traveled with him," Evan said.  Stark dropped his fork.  "Xander set off a temporal band and ended up doing a lot of traveling."  Xander nodded.  "That's why he never eats."

"I was talking," he defended, but did eat.  Radek gave his leg a squeeze, earning a smile.  "I like you too."  He ate another bite.

Evan smirked.  "If you're not strong enough to remember our anniversary tomorrow....  Well I guess my nasty, dirty ideas will have to wait," he said in his ear.  Xander shivered, his ass tensed, and he moaned.  "But you won't be strong enough."

Xander inhaled the rest of his plate and went to get seconds.

John Sheppard looked at him.  "What are we celebrating?"

"Our anniversary," he mouthed.

"Are we going to recreate the nerds episode?"

"No, not this time.  Maybe when we have some time off to recuperate."

"Do I want to know?" Ferretti asked.

"Depends, how strong is your distaste of us?" Radek asked.

"None at all."  John leaned over to hiss it at him.  Ferretti whimpered, shivering all over his body.  "That's...."

"Was a birthday treat," Evan said with a grin.  "I still get flashbacks when I see strawberry nerds."

"You kept us all up," John told him.

"Sorry but it was good," Xander said with a happy grin.  He sat down to eat.

"Definitely something to do when we have vacation time," Radek said, smiling at his boys.  They both smirked at him.  "Though perhaps we will each pick a different flavor?"  Evan moaned, slumping and staring at him.

"That's mean, Radek.  I love nerds."

"We love you too," Sam Carter called.

"Not your sort, Sam."  He looked at him again.  "I won't be able to eat them without the thought of it if you switch flavors on me."

Evan gave him a shoulder nudge, grinning at him.  "I get the same thoughts, especially when I see you eating them."  Xander beamed, wiggling some.  "Maybe some time in the wardrobe tonight?"

Xander smirked.  "I think we can arrange that."

"As long as you're all fit for work tomorrow," Ferretti said.  "We don't need to know."

The trio smirked at him.

"Of course we will be," Evan assured him.  "We're responsible most of the time, sir.  Unless someone kidnaps us or the Doctor needs him again."

"Fine.  Let me know.  I've heard amazing things about his cellphone."  He gave them a dirty look.  They all smiled sweetly.  "Uh-huh.  You're all perfect little angels."

"Yup, sure are," Xander agreed.

The End.

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