The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 25: The Dawning of Owen.
Dawn strolled up to Buffy that night, staking the two vampires who were trying to grab her. Buffy got the other one. "Hi." She handed over the cup of coffee she had carried. "Ianto sent it."
She sipped and moaned. "I need that man."
"Argue with Dad."
Buffy smiled. "So how's it going?"
"Good." She walked off with her. "They all agreed that I could become half Welsh so I could do school easier." Buffy nodded she knew that. "Xander's now Canadian thanks to that crap."
"I heard he was switching from his email."
"They worked it out the other day."
"Wonderful." She took another drink. "What other news is there?"
"Like the new shoes?" she asked, letting her see.
"Pretty, stylish, and sensible. Good job." She gave her a hug. "What other news is there?"
"Well, two things. I'm nearly done with school. I only have to pass science and Radek taught me physics so that might count. I have to take that test for those who were home schooled."
"Wonderful. So college?"
"In another two months. I'll have a few months free if I get it."
"Even better. Then what?" She drained it. "That is so good."
Dawn smiled. "I thought you might like some. What do you do if you figure out you have a major crush on someone and they treat you like you're retarded half the time?"
Buffy stared at her. "Abusive?"
"Owen." She sighed. "He was being all grumpy earlier so I hugged him and it felt right, ya know? Before he was just like the most nagging big brother ever who hated skirts and heels."
"Yeah, I do," she sighed. "I felt that with Angel. Damn, our love life isn't normal."
"No, it's not."
"Have you noted this to him?"
"I hope not. He was treating me like a kid earlier."
"Have you talked to either of your two dads? Or mom?"
"Mom was fast asleep when I popped in. I made sure it was just sleep too."
"She's getting stronger. They said within a year she'll be back to Mom strength."
"Good!" She sighed. "I'm so screwed!"
"Only if you're lucky. Didn't he sleep with Xander?"
"Yeah," she sighed, slumping some. "The whole office is bi."
"I can find some pretty but never tried it to make sure I liked it. Well, that one kiss at the rave and then Owen broke it up real quick."
"So maybe he's treating you like a kid because he doesn't want to get close?"
"Maybe," she said, considering that. "He did seem a bit jealous that night."
"Hmm, maybe," she agreed. She smiled. "If you do, I want to meet him better."
"Of course. I'm sure Xander and Dad would give him the shovel talk."
"Yup, we will be." Buffy patted her on the arm. "That's a huge demon."
Dawn looked and waved a hand, killing it. "Not anymore." She looked at Buffy. "The coven's really strict."
"I heard." She smiled. "Go talk to your dad. He's known Owen longer."
"True." She hugged her then blipped off. She changed into jammies, because showing up in real clothes in the middle of night in Wales would cause a panic, and went to climb in with them. Ianto woke up to blink at her and the clock. "I have the mother of all crushes and have *no* idea what to do about it," she whispered.
He hugged her. "Knock Owen down and kiss him stupid." She giggled and snuggled in. It was nice. Jack was against his back. Dawn was cuddly. It was a good family night.
Jack waited until he made sure she was asleep to clear his throat. "If she does, I get to beat him to death," he whispered.
Ianto laughed. "They do suit each other."
"Fat chance. He wouldn't protect her like she needs."
Ianto shifted to look at him. "He seems to already."
"He appreciates her mind, he gets extremely jealous when she's flirted with."
"She's still a virgin."
"He'll be gentle." He took a kiss with a smile. "It'll be fine." Jack grumbled but hugged him too. "You're an excellent father to her genius little self."
"I am," he agreed. "I haven't warped her too badly yet." He stroked over Dawn's hair, smiling when she pushed up into the petting. "Hedonist." She snored and he laughed. "That too." They fell back asleep, comfortable with the snuggly one.
The next day, Dawn went into work instead of to school. She had to take that test later. She had changed into something more adult today and low heels. Pants and a nice top. Hair back. She walked in and found Tosh and Owen having a screaming match. "People, do not make me turn you into frogs! Ianto didn't make any coffee yet this morning." Tosh gave her a dirty look. "He hasn't."
"You look very grown up today," she said dryly.
"Well, I turn seventeen in three days so yes I do." She smiled and dug something out of her purse, handing it over. "Here, you need it." Owen walked off laughing. "Then share with him." Owen quit laughing to glare at her. "Oh, please! I saw worse from Buffy early in the morning, Owen! Like you're the king of scowls. Hell, Angel scowled better." She looked at him. "Though I still don't see how Buffy slept with him." She walked off to make begging kitty noises at Ianto until he made her something.
He smirked at her. "Addict," he teased.
"Quite pleased about it too. Buffy offered you a date if you'd dump Dad."
"Not in my plans. I don't really know what I'd do with a girl like her outside of the bedroom and I never go there on a first date."
"True, it took Jack a lot longer," Owen snarked.
Dawn looked at him. He sprouted a dog's tail, making him yelp and glare. "I can make it a kitty tail since you're hissing."
"Not ethical," he shot back, hands on his hips. "I'll report you to the coven."
"They'll want to date you instead," she shot back and changed it to a fox tail. "Better?"
"At least it's more like me."
Ianto handed out coffee. "I can see it's going to be one of those days. Dawn, test?"
"Thank you. Sit and do something so you quit worrying. Owen, you need to not knock things over with that." He handed Jack his since he was giggling. "Gwen comes back tomorrow."
"I remember. She sent me an email."
"How is her spawn?" Dawn asked. "Last time I called, Rhys sounded like he was exhausted."
"She has colic," Tosh said.
"Aww, poor spawn. That's the crying, always a tummy ache thing?" She nodded. "Well, I'm sure she'll grow out of it sometime. Hopefully before she dates."
"Not with the way her mother bitches about things," Owen shot back.
She smirked at him. "Catty, really." She waved a hand. "I can change it."
"Just take it off."
She looked at him. "You told me I couldn't ever touch a man that way, Owen." She gave him a pointed look and he blushed. She did remove the tail but it'd come back when she went to take her test. That would serve him right. Though only Ianto would be able to see it. He walked off looking smug so she gave him kitty ears instead. He would notice that later. She was harmlessly doing paperwork when her chair got tipped backward by a pissed off Owen. "Yes?" she asked, looking smug.
"Take them off, Dawn Summers."
She scratched behind one, making him swat her. "You look so adorable!" she cooed.
"That's witch, thank you."
"I'm fairly certain I had that right," he shot back.
"Not really. If I was being a bitch, you'd be in a lap being petted." She smiled sweetly. "Maybe being given to Cassandra as a pet."
"Don't you dare."
She smirked. "Why would I want a kitty to pet, Owen?" He blushed. She poked him on the chest. "And you thought I was nice and innocent before?"
"Yes!" he said firmly, letting her chair go. He stomped off.
She followed, hopping up onto his table to look at him while he paced. "While I'm innocent in some things, do you really think I don't know anything? I mean, hello, only club in town was all ages and a vamp feeding spot. Not to mention, average death age in Sunnydale was twenty-eight so yeah, we got it younger. I'm a statistical anomaly for that town. Hell, I had friends who got knocked up at fourteen. We're Americans, we have smutty minds and HBO or Showtime." Owen gaped at her. She stared back. "The same as I've seen it happen in front of me before. In the club there, in the club here."
"You went clubbing alone?" he demanded.
"Hello, teen club."
"So? It's still dangerous. What if someone cut you or drugged you."
She leaned over. "I have an automatic spell set up so if I'm ever hurt, I'd go somewhere safe. That's why when I was poisoned I went to the old hub. I reset it so it's here." She pulled him closer. "Remember, I'm not just nearly seventeen, I'm also a millennia old artifact of great power used to breach realms and dimensions. I've seen wars, centuries of people living and dying, and got held by really solemn monks for a bit. I'm the most screwed up person you'll ever meet because my sister has a duty to kill supernatural bad guys like an assassin, my mother loves art, and I know about aliens, even before I got here." He nodded at that. "So yeah, not normal. Quit treating me like I'm two. I may be a virgin, and have to take that into consideration some day soon, one way or another, but I'm not a little kid and I'm not that innocent." She hopped down, looking at him. "You fuss like you own me and I'd only wear a collar if I thought it was fun that day. Some day I'll want to try that." He was still gaping at her. She walked off. Jack motioned her closer. "What?"
"You will take precautions when it happens, Dawn. I don't need another dimensional rip in Cardiff," he ordered quietly.
"Unless it happens suddenly I will."
"No more clubbing alone either."
"Usually I go with Melissa and them."
"She's not a great role model since you came home smelling like pot and said it was her fault." He stared at her. "Go out with that one girl, the one who likes the knee socks."
"I do and she's a bit kinky since she was at the S&M club last week on the cross and begging for the whip."
"Oh. Well." He sighed. "You're going to hopefully be like your mother."
She poked him on the side. "Too late. I inherited your horny bastard genes too. Either that or Anya gave me old stuff that wore out too easily when she dropped off her old toys." She walked off, going back to her desk.
"You wore one out?" he demanded. "Not even I'm that bad, Dawn."
She smirked. "I'm not bad, but I have no idea if I'm doing it right." She smirked at Gwen since she was there. "Anya said she knew you."
"Anya?" she asked, looking hesitant.
"Oh, her; the horny, frustrated, demoness bint who wanted your friend Xander back. What about her?"
"She was?" Jack asked.
"Many times a day," Dawn said dryly. "Every day. Even on Sunday since Xander had it off. We all heard a lot about what he could do for a girl. She told me a lot more too so I'd know how those boy/girl things went."
"No, I don't think she's a good role model," Owen complained.
"Mom and I talked a few times."
"Good!" he assured her.
"She even agreed I could go on the pill when I was fifteen in case I got stupid one night and decided to hit it in the club. Which, you know in Sunnydale, probably would've been a vamp too."
"Eww," Owen assured her.
"Look where I was raised, Owen. Not much of normal outside of Xander."
"He's considered normal?" he asked. She nodded. "You need help."
"Well, I could use some help buying new toys. Anya's old ones wore out." Tosh and Gwen walked off moaning at that. "I'm not sure if it was her or me. It seemed more fun when she talked about it."
"Then you're not doing it right," Jack said, going to hide in his office.
"How would I know?" she called. "You guys won't even let me go flirt!"
"I think you do plenty of that," Ianto told her, patting her as he walked past her. "I'd say it was her wearing them out, not you, dear. She seemed more needy than most whorehouses." He went to file things and giggle. The ladies were hiding too. Oh well. At least they hadn't brought in the baby.
Dawn looked at Owen. "Want to go with me to the toy store?"
"You're going to be the death of me," he moaned.
"Anya said that was a myth, that not even Xander could kill someone that way unless they had a heart condition."
Owen stared at her. "You're insane."
"That's a matter of opinion."
"That's mine and I'm sticking to it."
"You're not that sort of doctor," she said smugly.
He glared. "I should paddle you."
"That's not something I think would be fun. How can spanking be fun?" She shook her head and got back to work.
He growled then tipped her chair back again. "If you're doing it wrong, you could hurt yourself."
"I don't use it *inside*. That would cause a problem that would need magical safekeeping," she said quietly. "It's still not as good and my wrists get sore."
"That's a problem with masturbation," he said dryly.
"It's all I've got right now unless I want to adopt Melissa or her master."
"Please don't." He moaned, sitting down in a casual slump. "Take your father with you."
"He said he doesn't want to know what I do in my bedroom the same as I shouldn't know what he does when he comes out wearing that goofy, happy grin."
"I don't want to know either." He sighed. "Take Gwen."
"I suggested that once. You had to do CPR," she reminded him.
"Is that what made her choke that badly?" She nodded. "Hmm. Should do it again."
"That's mean to Cassandra."
"Probably. Don't really like kids."
"The Doctor said I'm infertile for probably another five years. That I'm still having form fluxes."
"Would that be why you glow some days?" he asked her.
"Yup." She got back to her email. "Faith said I should try something called a rabbit."
Owen whimpered. "Most women like them, yes."
Jack came out and tossed paychecks at them. "Don't forget your test later, Dawn. I'm looking forward to having to be soothed because I have a college-aged daughter." He walked off to give the others theirs.
"You are?" Owen asked.
"If I can pass the home schooling test, yes. I take it at two and the only part I might not get is the science."
"Hmm. That's good then." He stared at her. "You're barmy," he said quietly.
She smirked. "And you're an ass."
"True. That's killed many a relationship."
"Oh, please. My sister is the queen of bitchy snark sometimes. My older brother is too, and look at my dad. He's almost the time lord king of snark."
Owen laughed, shaking his head. "Some days, yeah. Where have you been clubbing with her sluttishness?"
"Heathrow. She goes to Horse but I don't. The little club around the corner from the pub you guys like to drink at." He gave her an odd look. "It's got a good sound going. Nice floor."
"Fake ID?" he guessed.
"Yup." She grinned. "Oh well." He grunted in displeasure. "Last week Melissa took me and Carny to Dial." He growled at that. "What?"
"That's a dangerous place. It's been in the news."
"I pointed that out. She decided he'd moved on. I turned his ass in when he hit on me. She gaped and I shrugged and pointed out that bad boys loved me until that taint got worn out somehow. Xander's apparently has. No bad girls have hit on him since he took up with Evan and Radek."
Owen shook his head. "You're still insane."
"The PD loves me." She pouted slightly. "They don't even ask how I get into those places."
"Jack should paddle you for getting into those places," he assured her.
"I get a lot of hot looks and many offers that I don't take. I mean, how fun is it for me to blow them? That's not my fun."
"How many arseholes have you turned in?" Owen asked a bit too calmly.
She realized that trap. Xander did it to her too! "A few. Mostly in the clubs Melissa likes. I'm doing good at keeping her from being a victim."
"Her master would be peeved," Ianto said as he walked past them to get more files. "I do believe Jack's calling him today to talk about his girl's club habits. You'll be spanked later for the nineteen people you've turned in, dear." He walked off with the files.
"Shit." Owen stopped her from moving. "What?"
"Nineteen?" he asked a bit too calmly.
"Seven in one club. She really liked it and it was like pack hunting that night."
He stared at her. "I'm going to beat you myself."
"I'm not yours," she quipped. "Unless I am, that's not your right."
Jack walked around Owen, pulling her up. "Come talk to me, daughter."
"Melissa wanted to go!" she complained.
"If you're an adult, take it like an adult," Owen called, waving and smirking.
"Keep it up, my people do believe in arranged marriages and I'm sure I could get Xander to agree."
"Mom won't," she complained.
"I can talk her into it. Or moving you into my place."
"Yes you're in for it," Jack agreed, shutting them in the office to talk to her about her crush, which he clearly needed to do, and her very bad friends. Melissa was going to get the girl dead. He'd have to kill her for that if it happened.
Jack walked into a club later that night, smiling at the man Dawn had described. "Good evening."
"Do I know you?"
"No, but your girl knows my daughter and I believe we should talk about her going to places like Dog." He groaned. "Since my daughter has now turned in at least nineteen criminals and rapists, and she lets your girl Melissa pick the clubs, I believe you need a tighter leash. Especially since Dawn came home smelling like pot one day and said it wasn't hers, and her drug test came out clean."
"I had no idea." His face was clearly reading the interior monologue of 'crap' over and over. "I'm sorry she's dragged Dawn into trouble. I've met her and she seems like a sensible young woman."
Jack smiled. "Thank you. I've only recently gotten custody of her for schooling reasons. Her mother never told me to be honest."
"I know she lives alone?"
"Her sister's best friend has an apartment. It's two doors down from my own. It's worked out well but I've been working too long apparently. That's about to stop as well." The master smiled at that. "So, anyway, I don't mind them being friends," he offered, pulling out a list. "But these are the clubs she's had someone arrested from. Including a few from the news."
He looked it over, nodding and putting it in his pocket. "She and I will be having a discussion. Has anyone else been going?"
"Sometimes Carny, I've heard Jamara went a few times until her mother found out she had a fake ID and she got grounded. Pila went once but the hangover convinced her to stick to the teen club."
"She's so in for it," he decided. "Thank you."
"Not a problem. I'm about to hand Dawn to someone I'd prefer her to date anyway." He smiled. "Do have fun with that." He walked off. He had to talk to Owen about his crush on Dawn now that he knew what she felt. Owen was at his place, sulking, staring out the window with a drink when he let himself in.
"You don't knock?"
"I was going to surprise you."
"With what? A strip-o-gram?" he snorted. He swallowed the rest of his scotch.
"No. I talked to her about her very blatant crush." Owen stiffened. "I think, if you two do decide to go for it, I could accept that."
"I slept with Xander too."
"I remember. So does she. I think that means she moved you to the list as safe since you clearly weren't evil."
"How many have tried for her?" he asked quietly once Jack was sitting down to stare at him.
"Twenty-seven over all. A few were in the grocery store or the Chinese place. She caught a white slaver getting food there." Owen growled. "Which is why, if you thought you could handle her, even if it didn't work out, you have my blessing."
Owen looked at him. "With our age difference?"
"Her inexperience? All that mess? She'll start crying if it doesn't work out."
"Dawn doesn't cry. She hasn't in a while," he sighed. "As for when it ends, then it ends and she'd deal with it like every other woman, Owen." He fussed with his jacket then looked back up. "At least I know you'll be nice to her, it won't be in a club's back room, because she has dangerous tastes. She's still drawn to things that would be considered normal for Sunnydale, instead of normal for Cardiff. That's why she goes to the teen club where there's been a few rapes recently. Or the more adult clubs where there's been a few weevil attacks, things like that. If we don't stop her soon, she'll turn into the white knight Xander is."
Jack stood up. "So if you want her, truly want her, then that's between you two. Just ...don't hurt her. She knows you can be an ass and sulky. That's not a problem for her. Mine is the first real relationship she's seen though. Buffy's love life is a wreck. Willow's went downhill with her magic addiction, all the way to magical girlfriend abuse with memory spells. She still believes in some of the hype of a real relationship but she knows that it's not all like that. She still gives Rhys funny looks for getting demanding with Gwen too."
"I can understand that. I don't know what I want."
"Well, figure it out before I have grandchildren."
"She told me the Doctor said she can't yet."
"I heard. I asked actually. The last time he picked me up, there had been a ship that had crossed dimensions with her great-grandchild running away from an arranged marriage." Owen shuddered. "She had packed her jewelry, the family seal, her journal, and left. Xander managed to get it into his hands through Radek and a bet, so he gave those to me." He stared. "I have no idea who she ended up with there. The journal says that when she knew her great-grandmother, when she was little, she was sad that she was alone again but that she had a great love earlier in her life. It didn't mention who."
"I'm not that guy for anyone."
"I think you're selling yourself short. Especially since she thinks normal people are like Xander and Spike's a good guy for her sister."
"I'm as good as Xander."
"Yes you are," he agreed. "Otherwise I would be kicking your ass because you're lusting over her." He smirked. Owen sneered. "Just be good to her the first few times. She thinks she knows and she's still not sure if she's right." He left, going home to Ianto. Dawn was grounded and she knew that. He checked to make sure by pausing at her door. Ianto was talking to her so he went to change into something more comfortable then come back. Hopefully he had broken up the unholy alliance of his daughter and the future victim. Even if she was doing a fantastic job of protecting her from herself.
Xander walked into the lab. "What's up?"
"Email from Dawn to the both of us." Xander sat down to open it, grinning at the news. "She made it."
Rodney beamed and took it to look over. "Excellent news." He paged Daniel, letting him see it. It had her plans for college, which Daniel had approved because it had a great many of his teachers there. It was also just up the road. So Dawn could commute daily. Rodney got his laptop handed back and looked. "Hmm, did you know she was dating one of her coworkers?"
"Yeah, we had a talk about him. I agree, he's a good, safe, exciting first man for her." Xander grinned. "He'll treat her well, she'll make him play more so he's happier again. He won't freak out at any first time precautions she'll take to stop any magic leaking out to cause issues. It won't be in a club, in a backseat, or anywhere else because one of her friends was asking for a quick, messy death recently."
"She's that bad?" Rodney asked.
"Barely seventeen, already has a slave-master contract. Which I don't mind. He's apparently very lax because he let her go play at other clubs without his knowledge. Let's just say, Dawn turned in twenty-seven assholes to the local PD, nineteen in clubs." They moaned. "Protecting that friend from herself."
"She'll have college friends soon," Daniel reminded him. "College friends will be better."
Rodney gave him a look like he was insane. "Not even close that first year. Even *I* got into college parties at my tender age."
"Don't tell me that, I'll go buy her a chastity belt and a gag," Xander ordered. They laughed. "Then find the caveslayer beer recipe."
"What?" they asked. Radek had chimed in too.
"Before I came up here, I worked in a college bar."
"So you know about the parties," Rodney said happily.
"It was a pub type bar but we did have frat boys, who irritated the owner so much he had his sorcerer brother-in-law make an herbal recipe he could put in the tap beer that would turn them caveman. Brow ridge, grunting, lower than usual IQ...." Daniel whimpered. "I know this because I saw it turn the group that Buffy was drinking with, and her, into one."
"I'd like to see that in action," Miko said dryly. Rodney snapped at her so she went back to work but she was smirking at them.
"I can dig it out," Xander said.
"If you do, please dose a certain colonel," Rodney said.
"I'd like to dose Mini-Jack," Daniel said. Then he sighed. "He'd kick my ass. He'd recruit to kick my ass." He walked off happier.
Radek patted Xander on the head. "You are not running a fever so please quit thinking demented thoughts in the lab." Rodney burst out cackling at that, going out onto their balcony to calm down. "Before it is more contagious." Xander just smirked and walked off. Radek got back to work, sharing a grin with Miko. Hopefully he'd get Rodney too. That way he calmed down again. They needed to dose him with the spores regularly so he kept calm and decent but it had been too long.
Jack looked at his new email a week later. The story was cute. It even had a picture of Buffy that way. The recipe was included. But that was mean. "Owen?" he called, bringing him up. "Xander sent a recipe in case she starts to really party in college." He let him see it.
Owen paged down through the email, eyebrow going up. He smirked. "With our luck, shed' stay that way." He walked out. Dawn was giving him a curious look because she knew they had something going on for her birthday later on that night. "Xander sent an email to Jack about partying during college."
"What did he send?"
She shuddered. "Cave slayer beer. Yuck."
"He gave us permission to dose you if you got too party infested," he said smugly.
"Give me a new language book, I'll quit," she promised. He laughed and she checked her own. No email from Xander. He had forgotten. Well, no, Xander didn't forget those things. He'd send it to her later on, by teleport. Sure enough, when she got back that night, gallantly walked by Owen because two guys had tried to steal her to grope, she found it waiting on her. "Wow." She opened the package. "Of course, a plant." She took them out. One was grapes. One was a plant with square red berries. It had care instructions on them so she wouldn't kill them. She nibbled on one of the red berries and it was like a good buzz. She fed him one. He hummed and smiled as he relaxed. She nibbled on a grape and moaned. "Wine grapes. Literally."
He ate one and nodded. "They are." He sat down. "What's in the card?"
She opened it, grinning at the information. "He gave me my own shopping account so I'm not in his." She leaned back, totally relaxed. "Those are really handy plants."
"They are." He had another grape. She did too. "You can't get drunk either."
"You can. The instructions say a whole bunch will give you the hangover."
"Hmm. Enough for us then with the drinks earlier."
"It's been three hours."
"No more drinking."
"I'm not. Want one of the red ones?"
He shook his head. "No, they're good. Go put them where they need to go."
She took them to put on her windowsill for tonight. She'd plant them tomorrow after work. She came back and sat down, toeing off her shoes. "I don't do it often."
"I know. Still not good for you."
"I know." She smiled.
"You're still a prat about things."
"I thought prat was restrictively a male domain."
He poked her on the temple. "Not always." She smirked at him and poked him back. He got up. She pouted at him. "Now?"
"Are you dense?" he asked with an evil smirk.
"Only sometimes." He hauled her up and she beamed, dragging her back to her bedroom. He stepped over the figures she had to keep any magic flashes in while she slept. "It'll hold."
"I know why you did that." He took off his jacket. She took off hers and her socks. He laughed. "It needed to happen anyway," he decided, moving closer.
The Doctor looked up as the tardis whined. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, moving to the control panel. He had been watching the time stream go by since he couldn't sleep. He took a new reading, noticing the extra energy. "Well...." He considered it then homed in on the source. "Ah, Dawn must've had some fun then. If she had died it would've been more than that. I hope he was good to her." He smiled and took his cocoa from the stash Xander had put in his cupboard, he'd have to spank him sometime later on, and went to bed to read a book that Rodney had left by accident. That group did liven up his life immensely. Maybe he'd check on Joel again sometime soon. He had left a few shirts in the closet. And somehow Xander's indecent pants had ended up in there as well again. He'd really have to spank that boy the next time. Well, if Evan and Radek didn't want to anyway. He sipped his cocoa and slowly let himself drift off on the ancient art of string physics.
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