The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 20: Not The Usual Apocalypse.
Xander looked at the text message he got and groaned. "Guys, gotta go," he said, looking up. The mission wasn't critical thankfully.
"Is this like the gotta go that made you put up a shield?" Jon asked.
"Worse." He left, going back to his desk to grab three things. He petted Armand for a moment, smiling at him. "Daddy's going to be brave and noble. You stay here and adopt someone if I don't come back." Armand roared so he gave him a hug then he disappeared, wiping the tears when he landed. "You summoned?" he asked the person next to him.
"It's bad," he said quietly. "I need help."
"I know." He looked over. That man stomping their way was a very bad sign of the world ending. He'd rather see a union of hell gods again than this man. "Fucking hell." He walked out. "No, you don't get to do this."
"And who're you to stop me?" he asked, laughing. "You're no time lord, boy."
"Not all that travel through time are time lords. There's Time Agents, those who just travel, Ascendeds. All sorts of beings travel through time." He stared at him. "Though I've seen some worse than you. You're definitely in the top ten but not the worst."
He sneered. "Who are you?"
"The protector of this planet."
"Then you should've shown up earlier."
"Sorry, was a bit busy on another one helping out." He shifted. He looked at the clones then him. "Not even they will save you. Not even if you changed every single being on earth."
"You can't stop me."
"I can and I will stop you. The Doctor, he's nice. He's a decent guy. He's not a warrior. He's a philosopher. He's a scientist. You're just psycho." He shrugged. "It falls to warriors to end psychotic threats to the universe."
"You won't stop me," he shouted.
Xander clapped. "And the award for over-dramatics goes to you," he said blandly. He saw someone moving, nodding to her. Then at the Doctor. He looked at the things in his hand, tossing her one. "Donna." She caught it, smiling at him. "I knew he'd need an extra some day."
"Oh, that's really fair," he sneered. "Three against one?"
Xander shrugged. "I don't believe in fair fighting, only fair warning. Though I can toss you one and it still won't help you any." He looked at the ball of light coming down behind him. "Asha."
"Xander. This man is a threat to all of everything."
"Then help or get out of the way, Asha."
The Master turned, staring, head tipped slightly. "You're an Ascended."
"Yes, I am. You're about to die. I have seen many that Xander has ruined, rightly so. He saved Atlantis at one point as well." He changed from a ball into a human shape, almost ghostly version of what he used to be. "You will not win. Even if your people come back."
Xander shrugged. "They might hate me too," he sighed. "Oh, well." He looked at Donna, then at the Doctor, getting a slight nod back. "Any last statements you wish to make?"
The Master sneered. "I'll have your pretty little ass sold for parts."
"Hmm. Probably not. Others have tried and failed." He looked at his wrist and took off the bracelet, breaking it. The light show coming out of it was fantastic. The power it had contained was blinding. Now, it had a higher purpose. He stepped through the corona and everything stopped as the spell set.
"How did you do that!" he shouted, looking around. "There's no way! Nothing can stop time!"
Xander smiled. "It's moving very slowly but again, not all beings that travel are Time Lords. Some of us aren't." He fired on him. The Master pulled out his own weapon and fired back. Xander didn't move. The other two fired on him. They kept going. Xander was using his nice, pretty, magically enhanced sonic screwdriver. Donna had one of his normal ones and the Doctor had his. "You won't win," he called.
"Why aren't you falling down!" he shouted. "You're injured!"
"Because I'm not like you."
"Ha! You're human!"
Xander shook his head. "No I'm not. Not any more. Partially, yeah."
"Ooooh, a time being and human cross," he sneered. "How cute."
"Hey, bite me," Donna called. "Some of us fantastic this way!"
He stared at her. "A half human/half timelord?" he demanded. "How in the hell!"
Xander shifted closer with a hidden wince. "Not that hard. Regeneration and stuff." He fired off another blast and hit him lower this time, in the chest. The Master went sailing but he took the chance to fire at the Doctor. Xander moved forward, expanding his axe. Donna had the Doctor's well being in hand. He stood over him, axe in one hand, sonic screwdriver in the other. "Reverse it," he ordered calmly.
"You'll still die!" he gasped, then coughed.
"So be it."
"I can regenerate."
"Not without your head." He swung and chopped it off.
"I was done this way by a single hand," Donna complained. "Come help him, Xander."
Xander walked over, staring at him. "Hey, Doc?"
He coughed. "Xander, I'm going to regenerate soon," he gasped.
"I'll guard eleven until he's steady on his feet, Doc. Don't worry about it." He pulled at Donna but she was crying on him. "Donna, move."
"No!" she shouted. "There has to be a way!"
"Donna, I don't want to leave," he chided. "You have to move."
He tried to pull her back again but then the light show started. He backed out of the way, bowing his head in respect. Donna disappeared, eaten up by the energy she gave to him. To heal him. A new body was forming. A new person was also appearing. Xander looked at the new one. "Elder."
"Who are you!" he demanded, stomping forward. "What have you done!"
"You stopped time!"
"I know that. Though it's really just moving very slowly and it'll slowly start up again," he said quietly.
"Who are you?" he demanded again.
"Xander. A traveler."
"You can't be. No one...." Jack appeared. "A Time Agent?"
"Yeah and that's the White Knight." He looked at the new body. "I was on a whole different planet."
"Me too. Donna was here."
"Damn it," he muttered. "I liked Donna, even after he had to block it off."
He shrugged. "She got unblocked." Jack looked at him. "She went with him." He looked at the Master's body then snapped and set it on fire. The Elder gasped, staring at him. He stared back. "As I said, I'm a Traveler. Accidental at first, admittedly. Then I learned. He helped mold me into the being I now am." He looked at the new one, smiling at him. "Doctor?" He got a groan. "Okay, we can wait."
One of the coven appeared, two more behind her. "Xander, this is a rogue action," she said.
Xander held up the Master's head before tossing it into the fire too. "No, it wasn't." She gasped. "It'll restart in about five minutes I think," he told her. "Calm down, no hissy needed." He took a deep breath, limping over to him. He was magically pressing on the injury to help stop the bleeding. He squatted down no matter how much it hurt him to do it, nudging him gently. "Hey."
"Who're you?" he asked once he had blinked awake.
"I'm Xander. I knew you before." He helped him sit up. "How do you feel?"
"I'm confused. I'm awfully sore too." He looked at the thing in his hand then around. "What is this place?"
Xander smiled. "London. Your prior incarnation helped save London and the universe." Asha came over. "Don't touch me, Asha."
"I know I'm bleeding. He damn near severed my hip joint. Leave me alone."
"I will not." He looked at the other being, who was about the only one Xander ever listened to. He merged with him, getting sucked into the powerful core, freeing him from the damage.
"Hey!" he said, jumping up.
"I think my ex was trying to help," Xander told him. "Sorry." He looked him over. "Can you force him out?"
"No, he entered then he turned squiggly then he kinda turned to dots. What is going on?"
"You're the eleventh Doctor," Xander said formally. He bowed slightly then winced. "That's going to leave a scar." He sighed, looking at the elder as time restarted, slowly moving back up to normal time. "Jack, this is a street." Jack got on the phone to block it off. He looked at the elder then the coven. "Do you doubt my intentions?"
"No," they agreed.
"Just your sense," one of them said dryly.
Xander raised an eyebrow. "I'm one of the protectors of his planet, even though I am off gathering things to help us more. Get off it."
"Settle down!" that one counter ordered.
"I'm kinda seeing two people," he offered with a shy smile, then winced when he tried to move. "I hate sonic screwdriver injuries. They never heal." The witches laughed and let themselves go home. "Elder, did you have a problem with us stopping that bastard?"
"He was one of us."
"Then you should've policed your own psychos," he shot back firmly. "It's not my fault or this planet's fault that you didn't stop him before he caused harm!" he shouted with a point at the fire. "Do you know how many people he killed! That does go against your much vaunted non-interference laws, doesn't it?" he demanded in a sneer.
"So has the one behind you."
"No, this one is innocent. The past lives of him saved people. Including doing your dirty work during the Time War." The Elder stepped back at that. "So don't fucking tell me about that. He saved lives and made lives better. He protected the integrity of time even when it meant his own traveling companions suffered, or he himself. You brought back the Master, you and your Council did so, and then you let him loose like some hunting dog. Only he didn't hunt your enemies, he hunted our people. He created paradoxes that had to be solved. He killed countless millions of others. He nearly ended time for good today. So I will not hear you bitch, whine, or complain about this shit!"
"He is one of us."
"I can put out the fire so you can grab the bones," he offered dryly, wincing as he stepped closer. "I may be a traveler but I'll be damned if I'm going to see this planet destroyed after how many times I've helped protect it."
"They both will face charges."
"You bring the Master back and your whole species will face me," he said bluntly. "I am not the traveler to fuck with."
"The one who entered me said that he knows many weapons," Eleven offered, still looking confused.
"Xander!" Jack snapped.
"Fuck off." He glared at him then back at the Elder. "I can destroy your whole planet just for shits and giggles if I wanted to. The only reason I don't, and the reason that healed me so I wouldn't become like that pitiful attempt at a being, is that one," he said with a point at Eleven. "Even if his actions weren't perfect, you guys started the fucking problem by bringing the Master back and letting him loose."
"We were desperate."
"Now you're not. Now you're paying for it. Go tidy up your planet and watch your reality soap operas." He looked him over and sneered. "This planet and the ones he's saved over the generations want to keep him. We could care less about you and yours unless he wants to talk about it."
"How did you get one of our screwdrivers?"
"I made three of them," he said dryly. "This one's extra special." He held it up, letting him scan it and give him a horrified look. "Yeah, I'm with the coven." He stepped back. "Leave Eleven alone. What Ten did saved us all. Including you frosty assed beings. So get over it."
"How did you stop time? We felt a sun being born here."
Xander pointed at the remains of the bracelet. "Yeah, well...." He shrugged then winced again. "I so deserve spa time this time." He stared at him, seeing the awe. "I'm a person who accidentally traveled. Was human, though I was born on a dimensional thin spot. Got given DNA warping things, radiation poisoning, then I traveled. By accident. I went all the way back to the beginning of time. Three times." The Elder shuddered. "I was trying to home in on home." He smirked. "Didn't quite work that way. Fortunately, when it got to the point where I was going to break, the Doctor stepped in," he said more calmly.
"We have those who would want to see your memories of him."
"I need to get him settled and my other bracelet is on Atlantis with my dragon." The man gaped in awe. Xander stared. "Yeah, I know, I'm a fucking myth. Yay me," he muttered. "It's things like this that create it." He looked at his screwdriver, then pointed it at the dying fire. He fired and it waved then seemed to fade. Until it popped.
"That's a time bubble," Jack said.
"I noticed that. It'll be fucking difficult to get him free of it, right?"
"Impossible," the Elder agreed, nodding some. "Get him settled."
"I don't know how to work the Tardis," he complained. "Jack?"
"No clue," he admitted. "The Doctor didn't let me drive either."
Martha coughed from where she had appeared. "The rest of humanity is returned."
Xander nodded. "Thank god. Who'd want to be a clone of that asshole."
"Xander, you're injured."
"Duh, Martha. Obvious much?"
She glared at him. "I'll tell your General if you sass me. He'll paddle you."
"He'll have to wait until I'm healed."
"Good point." She walked closer. "Is that another Time Lord?"
"Yeah, from their council I think." He sighed. "She was a companion of his as well."
"We would like to see what he has done in our absence. We will vow no harm will come to you because he is right, he could destroy us."
"Xander, way too many weapons," she complained.
He smirked. "Me, weapons? Nah, Martha, why would I have weapons?" He looked. "We'll take the Tardis?"
"That would be acceptable. Bring her home. By then he'll be able to function hopefully." He left.
"Road trip," Jack called.
"Oooh, me!" Dawn shouted. "It sucked having to watch that."
"Yeah, well, it does suck," he agreed. "Jack?"
"Dawn, watch Ianto for me. Handle things, I'll be back in a jiffy. Doctor, into the police box." He walked in and looked around in awe. They got in and Martha thankfully knew how to work the engines and set coordinates.
Dawn huffed. "That's no fair!" she shouted. "Damn it!" Ianto came jogging up. "They took the new Doctor with them." The head of the coven appeared, a very old man. "Master Nycom."
"Dawn. Are you throwing a fit?"
"We've all had that one I believe." He walked over. "They'll be right back. That is the nature of time, child."
"I know, still sucks ass." He glared at her. She stared back. "It does." She looked around, picking up a few things. "Xander's screwdriver. Xander's magical sonic screwdriver. Ianto, that's the remains of one of his blippy bracelets. That's going to cloud the energy that's coming off around here." Soldiers came running up with guns, pointing them at them. "Freeze, Torchwood," she shouted.
"That's a good job. Jack has really worked on your delivery," Ianto said with a smile. "We are Torchwood."
"UNIT, freeze," their leader said, pointing guns at them.
Dawn pulled their guns from their hands and stacked them over the time spot she could feel. It was still slightly open so they went there too. Hey, if the Master regenerated, he could shoot himself a few dozen times. "Really?"
The one in the lead pulled his handgun. "Who are you!" he demanded.
"Dawn Summers." She walked closer, staring at him. "Torchwood. Linguist. Martha knows me but she had to travel with the new Doctor." She disarmed him, knocked him down, and looked down at him. "You're such a pussy. God, Teal'c doesn't fall for that move." She handed the gun to Ianto and went back to cleaning up. "Ianto, if I touch that bracelet and the magic around it, it's possible I'll flare up and call more people from the dead."
"Of course," he said, pulling out a sealed vacuum from his bag to pick up the small pieces. He measured the energy as well. "What was he powering it with?"
"Half a supernova. The other half's in the other bracelet."
"Wonderful," he said dryly. "Owen?" He came over with Tosh. "Here, finish this, Tosh. Owen, clean up any trace while I help her with UNIT?" he said quietly.
"Looks like she's got them scared."
Dawn smirked. "They're not even as bad as demons." They all backed off, giving her awed looks. "Yeah, Buffy's my sister," she said dryly. "Xander's my big brother though." She smirked.
"Harris?" one asked. "You're with him?"
"Well, he's kinda with the SG. I'm kinda interning at Torchwood at his orders. But yeah, he's just like my big brother. Nags worse than Ianto here does. Especially about skirt length. I mean, how bad is it to wear a short skirt now and then? Not like I'm wearing them ho short or anything. Maybe 'jump me in the club' short but not that bad."
"Hell no!" Owen told her. "You're not going to turn into the slut your father is. Your mother would be appalled."
"Xander gets more than I ever will."
"So?" he countered.
"So does Jack."
"So?" he repeated. "You're female, they're not. They can be sluts, but you'll end up a mother."
"We don't think that's possible," Ianto offered, cleaning up another area. "At least not physically."
"Yeah, kinda sucks, but hey, more fun," she said with a happy grin at the soldiers. Who all whimpered. "So, Martha will be back shortly. Xander's going to manfully be babied for nearly dying inside a time dilation field. Eleven will be fine I'm sure." They all groaned when the police box reappeared. "Martha! We've just been having a *lovely* chat with these nice soldiers of yours who are *way* overprotective. Do they let you go out on dates or are they as bad as Owen is to me?"
"They don't care who I date as long as I'm fit for duty," she said with a pat to her back. "Xander's on Atlantis."
"Good! Since he nearly fucking killed himself this time."
"Knights are like that," she pointed out.
"Dawn, I do believe your language is out of hand," Jack said, coming out of the Tardis with something. "Modulate it into a more professional sounding one," he ordered.
"Yes, Herr Capitan!" she said in German, saluting him. He glared. She switched to calling him stupid names in Hebrew, making him snicker as he walked off. "Is he going to live so I can beat him?" she called.
"He'd better. I get his ass first," Jack called back. "Master Nycom."
"Jack." He looked him over. "You were late?"
"I was somewhere else."
"Pity. The boy could use help. He's still locked in the battle." Jack groaned but Dawn got them and the Master Mage up there to handle Xander's injuries.
One of the UNIT guys nudged Martha. "That was Summers, from Sunnydale, right?" he asked quietly.
"Buffy's little sister, yes. Why?"
"The one who sneezed up a unicorn?"
"Oh, well, yes. I don't think we told Xander that story," she admitted.
He swallowed. "And that was Harris? The same one that did the disease shield?" She nodded, smiling. "Is he one of ours?"
"Can they maybe keep a leash on him?"
"Why not?" he begged.
"Because he's not that sort of boy." She saw the running others. "It's all right now!" she called.
"It bloody well isn't!" Mickey shouted. "Where is he?"
"Eleven's in the box."
"Eleven?" His face fell. "He regenerated?"
"Yes, but he has the full memories," Jack told him as he reappeared with Dawn. The mage was going on his own speed. The other elders were in trouble because Xander had found the crystal holding them and had broken it. So the time lords were in a bad spot. If not destroyed again. He wasn't going to ask. Both the doctor and Xander were in a bad mood. Mostly about Xander's injury. He sighed, patting her on the head. "No more blipping. Now I'm using his term," he sighed, shaking his head.
"Xander can wiggle his way into your mind," Martha agreed with a smile.
"Yes he does, and other places." He looked at them. "Eleven?" He leaned out. "Companions?"
"Oh, hello," he said with a smile and a wave. "I have a pounding headache from one of Xander's ex's trying to take over. Bloody ascended." He went back to getting him out of him and then sighed in relief when the main crystal of the Tardis dissipated him a bit more. "There, better." He went out to talk to them. "What? Do I look that strange?" he asked dryly.
"Just...different," Sarah Jane said quietly. "Welcome back."
"Thank you. Jack, Xander?"
"Better now that the injuries stopped growing."
"Hmm." He saw the extra screwdrivers in the bag. "I wondered how he did that."
Dawn took it after he scanned them both. "One's more magically based. The other's a spare for when you need it sometime."
He smiled at her, scanning her. "I wondered about that."
"Me too," Jack said, coming over. "Doc, is she immortal?" he asked quietly.
The Doctor smiled. "Isn't that going to be a bitch to find out."
"She's my daughter. Please?"
He scanned her again, looking at something different. "Half and half. She could go either way. I'd say, she'd have it kick in or she'd ascend and therefore come back to bother you at various points when you need nagged."
Jack smiled and relaxed. "Thank you."
"Welcome. Try to keep Xander there for a bit? He's showing radiation again."
"He stepped through the bracelet he broke to start the time stop, Doc," Dawn pointed out. "That's a supernova. Though, the new one using negative space... very much prettier." She smiled. "So?"
"Ascended or," Jack told her. "Might depend on when and if it happens."
"I'll be young and cute for a long time then."
"Still not getting any," Owen called. They all stared at him.
The Doctor looked at her. "You sneezed up a unicorn?"
"It was an accident; I had cold medicine in my system thanks to Rhys. I was loopy, high, and dizzy. Then I sneezed and started a bloody nose." She shrugged, looking sheepish.
"Where are you going once you graduate?"
"I'm going to follow Xander and Daniel Jackson." She beamed. "Whole bases full of cute people. Some even sweaty. Lots of people I can make sure like us."
"I'm having her fitted with a chastity belt," Owen told Jack, handing him something.
"She's my daughter, why are you so worried?" Jack asked.
"Hate to see you as a grandfather and if a nosebleed pulls up a unicorn, what will the childbirth do?" He looked at the blank spot. "So he's all gone?"
The Doctor scanned it. "Xander is brilliant. He created a time loop." He shrugged. "Why are there guns?"
"Because the soldiers pointed them at me," Dawn said patiently. "I didn't like that. I hate being scared that way. So he can commit suicide over and over again if he manages to regenerate." She walked off to help Ianto.
The Doctor shook his head. "I'll get her ice cream in a few," Jack promised, earning a smirk. The other companions piled onto the new Doctor to talk to him and make sure he was going to be all right. He looked around. "Donna?"
"No, the bastard awakened it," Dawn said, looking at him. "I felt it explode from the dormant stage." She shut down all the video cameras and erased them and their feeds. She looked at him. "She was there with Xander and him." She pointed. "There. The energy from the regeneration is there and so was hers," she finished quietly, coming over. "I'm sorry."
"No. She died helping him. That's what she would have wanted."
She patted him on the arm. "We'll see her again."
"Yeah, sometime," he sighed.
"Xander pointed out that even immortal, you are very slowly aging, Jack," she said quietly. "A few days a decade." He smiled at that reminder. "So some day I'll catch up and then we'll see what happens." She swallowed. "After we kill Xander for nearly dying this time."
"Agreed," he said, giving her a one-armed hug. "Ianto, do you need my help?"
"We're nearly done," he said, coming over. "Are you all right?"
"I'm good," he admitted, smiling some. "We'll all be fine." He helped pack the cleaned up things and sent Dawn back with the others. He was a companion too. UNIT got them all somewhere secluded for a bit so they could talk and mourn the loss of one of their own. Then argue who was going to help him for a bit. He looked like he needed feeding. He was much too skinny and all the female companions wanted to mother hen him. He could see the distraction starting and tapped him. "You have a cellphone," he told him quietly. "It can reach you anywhere. Xander made sure of it when it broke."
"I had wondered."
"We all have phones these days and some of us can get wherever you are if you're having a crisis or an apocalypse. Xander and I especially."
The Doctor smiled. "He is a Traveler now."
"Him and me both, Doctor. He's another that'll fuss over you though." He smirked. "If you need any of us, you call."
"I'll do what I can."
"We spank if you don't," one of them said smugly.
"I'm not getting into that conversation ever again," he said firmly. A few cracked up. He looked at Jack. "You sure?"
"Yeah, for now. Maybe some day I'll be ready to go again. I'm hearing great things about the twenty-ninth century with me and Xander." He shrugged.
"He's a myth."
"I heard. You heard. He knows and he laughs. Thinks they blew it out of proportion. Then again, Xander somehow accidentally went back to the beginning of the time stream three times with my bracelet. We have no idea how."
"I should fix that thing."
"Can't." He smirked at him. "Xander stuck it."
"Damn. I'll need to confiscate his."
"He'll just build a new one, Doctor."
"I know. Maybe the next one won't have a sun in it."
"Hmm. Go play with your daughter before that Owen turns her into a nun."
"Owen's a slut but he's good to her." He gave him a shoulder nudge. "Be safe?"
"You as well. Torchwood isn't exactly sane."
"I'm in charge, so no, it's not." He winked and got up, strolling out. Ianto was sitting in the SUV reading. "You waited?"
"Of course." He stared at him. "Where else would I be when you were moping?"
"You're welcome. We have to go save Dawn from Owen. Even Gwen is telling him to lighten up and let her play. She's going to end up on a pole or something to push back at him." He started the engine and they drove off. "How is Xander?"
"He'll be fine. Hopefully. He might limp a little but he'll be fine."
"Uh-huh. How many years?"
"Few weeks probably with his healing." He shrugged and got comfortable. "He's still an asshole though."
"Yeah, he is. Spoils her horribly too."
"It's that or he's going to make more weapons. I pity his whole city with him bored in bed." Ianto snickered. Jack was horrible enough, a hyper Xander had to be worse.
Doctor Keller came out of surgery, looking at them. "He'll be fine. He'll walk. I'm fairly certain he won't limp if he doesn't want to." They all sighed in relief. Armand roared at her. "Tomorrow. You can see him tomorrow. Tonight I need him to be flat on his back, not curled around you." The dragon pouted. "You can pout?"
"They learned it off Dawn," Rodney said quickly. "What happened!"
"I don't know. They didn't tell me when they showed up." He huffed. "Go make contact with Earth or something."
"They don't know," John sighed. "But he'll be fine?"
"He's going to drive everyone nuts for a long time. Especially since I don't want him walking for *days* at the very least. And then it'll be supported walking." They all groaned. "So, yes, he'll be fine. The cut was very clean. It parted along the cell lines, there was no indication of cutting or burning tools used. I have no idea how."
Rodney snapped a few times. "His screwdriver," he said. Someone went up to check. "We could've asked," he said dryly. They came back a minute later, holding up one. "He has three."
"Only this one was in there, sir, and the drawer was open."
Armand gave out a pitiful roar and tried to push past her. "Fine," she said. "On his chest only, dragon." She picked him up and put him into place. "No moving or wiggling." He snuggled, letting the daddy snore at him. She put his IV-free hand over him and they both relaxed. She turned and found a very old man standing there and a lot of people watching. "Yes?" she asked. "Do we know you?"
"I'm one of his training masters," he said with a toothy smile. "You're quite pretty to be a doctor."
"Brains come in all sorts of packages," she said dryly. "What happened?"
"A great evil got brought back and taken out. The battle was short, painful, and then ended in a time loop. He stopped time for the whole planet with one of his bracelets. Thankfully the new ones are easier to keep powered." He smiled at her. "You do have quite a powerful mind."
"I'm also about to pounce someone into a date."
"If it doesn't work out, think of me, child. I may be old, but I am powerful." He chuckled. "He'll be fine. The Master is no more and cannot be again. The old ones are back nagging each other about doing nothing. Time moves on as it always has while there was a guardian." He disappeared.
She looked up. "Did anyone else see him?"
Everyone in the doorway nodded. "Yup," Rodney said, walking in with the screwdriver. He checked it and ran it over him. "He's showing some radiation I think."
She snatched it and ran her scanner over him. "The same as you get off people who were through a quantum mirror." She gave him a dirty look. "Go do something else, McKay."
"Not likely," he said, sitting down. He snapped and pointed. "Come on and quit moping." Mira ran in to sit in his lap, cheeping quietly at Armand, who let out another mournful meep. "He's fine, just sleeping, Armand." Xander shifted and Armand got all sorts of excited. "I told you so. Next time, listen to me. I do know everything that I talk about." Keller pulled him off the body and put him in McKay's lap. "Yes, fine, we'll take turns holding him." She walked off shaking her head. Others came in to sit with him but Radek.
Nila found Radek in Xander's office the next day. "You don't want to visit him?" she asked quietly.
"I'm mad at him and trying not to yell."
"I think that's a normal human emotion, Radek. That is part of worry, the anger that he had to put himself into danger."
He looked at her. "I want to beat him to death for that."
She smiled. "I do not have human emotion and I want to spank him and then cry on him." He groaned. "Did I share too much?"
"No, it was good sharing," he promised, giving her a weak smile. "Thank you, Nila."
"You cannot love him for who he is and want him to change at the same time, Radek. He wouldn't be our Xander if he changed. Though I don't think he'll have to do it again for a while. There's not many truly great evils left in the universe."
He nodded. "Thank you for making me feel better."
"It's no problem. Evan felt the same so he was using the heavy bag. He and I talked as well. He's down there now with the dragons if you wanted to be with him."
"I think I will." He walked down there, taking the stairs so it'd give him more time to clear his head. He walked into the infirmary and sat down. "How is he?"
"Better. She still won't let him wake up. The wound is sealing pretty well," Evan said quietly, petting Armand. Mira cheeped from on top of Xander's feet. "Doctor Keller said you're not supposed to be on there. That she's going to make Rodney put a leash on you." Mira growled and curled up again. Armand slithered up and curled around her, head facing the daddy so he could stare at him. "He'll wake up when the doctor lets him, Armand. She's making him sleep. Like the plant spray." Mira meeped. Armand growled but she licked his ear and he was calmer. "If they get together, would that make Rodney and Xander in-laws?" he asked.
Radek let out a tired sounding laugh. "They are already uncle and nephew." He looked at him then at Evan. "Are you upset as well?"
"Yeah, I am. I don't know why it's got to be him."
"Because none of the other ones have his skills," Cam said as he walked in. "Buffy can fight and does. Faith's the same way. Jack's got cunning and some weapons but not what Xander has. Dawn has magic but not what he has because she's not training it very hard. She doesn't want to. None of us can do what he does either. So he's the perfect person to send when you really need a team that won't be able to work together. Sam about threw a fit the first time he used magic on a mission. That was just to light a fire." He looked at them. "He'll probably only have one other major thing this decade. We've defeated most of the big bads. So the next one has to be demonic. There he'll have more backup."
"That doesn't understand or want to understand him," Evan said quietly. "How do you know?"
"I picked up the book on his desk. It's a biography." He held it up. "It said the next big thing he'll have to help with is a demon invasion and that'll be a weapons use while we're getting ready to land Nila."
"Where did that come from?" Radek asked, taking it to look over.
"I don't know. Maybe he belongs to an Ancient Book of the Month club?" he said dryly. "Maybe someone wanted him to have it? Maybe he preordered it from the future. No clue." He stood up. "It was kinda interesting though. Who made his laptop?"
"Some smith in the twenty-third century," Radek said.
"That smith?" he asked with a point at the bed. "Probably because he couldn't get some stuff back here as easily." He walked off. That would totally blow the kid's cover and they'd get closer. Even if they did want to shake him to death.
Radek looked at the book. "We should not."
"No, probably not," Evan said, snatching it to read it. "Forewarned and all that. Like his visions." Radek smiled, shifting his chair so they could both read.
Xander finally woke up while they were working their way through a few chapters in the future. He blinked at the book they were reading and mentally groaned. "I hate that book. They said I came from a crater and didn't even mention my parents."
"That is so no one would go back and kill them," Evan said dryly.
"They're the reason I'm the man who could turn into the man I am today."
"True," Radek agreed. "You made sonic screwdriver?"
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that. It was after I had seen his when he lost it one day too. He got to the point where he got it and he didn't because no one had created it yet. So I kinda created it for him." He shifted, looking at his ankle warmers. "Hi, guys. I'm awake," he said quietly. They rushed up to lap him. "I love you guys too." He petted them and they settled down. He looked down at himself. "How much damage?"
"Shitloads. You're lucky Keller's so excellent."
Xander nodded. "Yeah, I am." He looked at them. "So I guess you saw why?" They nodded. "It would've destroyed everyone and he didn't have the help. That's my job, guys. I'm sorry."
Evan sighed. "No you're not. We could've lost you and not have even known. If you had told us, we would've went with you."
"You couldn't have done much."
"We could've laid down fire to distract him. Thereby making you not as injured," Radek offered. "Or blown him up."
"The Doctor chewed on me for not letting him do it honorably."
"Someone like that, you don't have honor. You have stopping it," Evan agreed, shifting in his chair. "You didn't even tell us, Xander. You had the time since you used your bracelet."
"That's an hour, not a minute accuracy."
"You're right, I should have," he said quietly, looking at the pets. "I'm sorry about that."
Radek shifted over to touch his leg. "I should spank. I want to spank. I want to beat and scream and yell." Xander flinched. "Then I want to know how you created the computer."
"I couldn't get some of the stuff back here," he said quietly, glancing around.
"Cam knows. It appeared on your desk," Evan told him. Xander let out a sigh then winced and shifted. "We read it." He stared at him. "The weapon for the invasion?"
"It used the resonance of the portal to eliminate any demon that came from there within eighty miles. They called it Thor's Thunder or some such," Radek said quietly.
"No idea but I can figure it out from that." He looked at them. "I'm sorry!"
"No, don't be. This is the real you."
"I'm the real me. Just sometimes I have to go into the secret identity stuff," he said weakly.
Radek smiled sadly. "We're not Alfred but you could have told us."
"You're not my butler, Radek, you're my boyfriends," he hissed, glancing around. "And I don't want people to hurt you. Not because of something that I stepped into at the right moment. Half of those, I was there at the right time and did something that was dumb. Sometimes, like this time, it was noble and had to be done but still fairly stupid of me. I'm lucky more often than I am good and it sucks because someone can twist that and come after you guys."
"That's noble and all but let us worry about that," Evan said firmly. "That's our job."
"But I'd jump off somewhere if you guys got hurt because of this," he whispered. He looked down at his pet and friend's pet, getting dual licks. "Thanks."
Radek and Evan shared a look. "Remember when we had talk about your self esteem?" Radek said patiently.
"I got nagged, yeah."
"Same thing." Xander stared at him. "It is. We can take care of ourselves and being a hero is lonely work, even when you do just end up at the right time somehow." He stood up and walked to the other side, staring at him. "We would like to see more of the real you. The goofy, bastard, flirty you. You hold it inside."
"If I'm like that up here, no one respects me."
"They're all scared of you anyway," Evan said dryly. "The fact you can beat Ronon sometimes earns you that." Xander slumped and had to shift some. "We do respect you, Xander. Even when you flirt. Even when you fuss over us because we're sick or something. We respect you for all that, and even this noble, hero part. It sucks that you don't trust us enough to let us see that."
"I do. But you'll get hurt."
"Fuck that, that's my thing to worry about, not yours. I know very well someone's going to say something sometime, Xander. That's my job to worry about it, not yours. Hopefully by then the regs will change. Though, they're not going to ask me outright because they won't like the answer." He stroked his knuckles down Xander's cheek. "I knew someone might fight me some day because they wanted you. The same as I knew that not all the military guys were going to like us hanging out and things. I realized I didn't care." He smiled at Radek. "He has it a lot easier. A gay scientist is nothing new. He doesn't have to worry about regs. You and me and him? We'll work this out once you're out of here since we have no privacy," he said, spotting John in the doorway. "He's up."
"She said she was going to let him wake up today." He came in, looking at him. "Someone found out what happened and told O'Neill. His remark was 'next time, call for backup. You do get the perk of that as well as the dragon'." He stared at him. "I'm blown away because O'Neill told me and Jon what he had heard happened. This is from Dawn, who had to rant to someone because everyone she works with basically shrugged and said 'another day at work and go put on a longer skirt'." Xander cracked a smile and shrugged a bit. "I know. You got that attitude too after all that time in Sunnydale. Stake and move on. Handle what you have to. Next time, tell us! We'll come back you up. You know that about us."
"You'd have been vulnerable."
"You're vulnerable too," Radek pointed out. "Or you'd be in your room with a movie right now instead of in here with a nearly severed leg."
"He thought I was the normal one so he focused on me. He screamed at me 'why won't you fall' or something like that. Oh, saw Asha again. He helped get Eleven back into kicking order sooner." He sighed and shifted then winced and held his hip. "That's going to take some work."
"Which we don't have the facilities for up here," John said quietly. "Keller wants to send you back for therapy until you're healed."
"I have to slowly work back up to walking and then running," Xander said dryly. "You limp with support, you limp without support, you slowly work your way up, with some water work if you're lucky, until you're not really limping, then you work on that final bit of conditioning."
"How many serious injuries have you had like this?" Radek asked.
"I got advice on PT for my arm and I did do a lot of training over the years," he admitted, glancing around. "I'll go see a specialist but walking around the halls isn't any worse than walking around on a treadmill down there. And I'm a hell of a lot safer. No demons that'll think I'm weak to attack me. Or the Council's price on my balls."
"I had forgotten about those threats," Keller said as she joined them. "I still need you to see a specialist. I have no idea how to help you."
"I can get a book," he offered with a grin.
"No you can't," she said with a smile. "If you leave that bed before I say so, you won't like it." She walked off. "I'll arrange for you to see someone, who will give me orders. Which you will follow, Xander."
"Yes, mother," he called after her. He sighed. "I put a pool into Nila's new docking area inside the free time lounge and gym." He looked up. "Hey, Nila?" She appeared. "Do we have an area in the external parts of the city that I can use for water PT?"
"That area is not explored," Radek said firmly. "Who knows what could be there. Could be giant Xander eating spiders."
Xander looked at him. "Don't give me nightmares, Radek. Please?" he begged.
"I suppose we could recalibrate the Lanar." Atlantis appeared. "Is the Lanar in good shape?"
"I had not thought of that because they only want to work with rooms inside the specified radius they had explored. That whole complex is very dusty but still whole," she said, checking over it. "It is very easily dusted and fixed, Xander. Why?"
"Because I'd like to do some water PT to help rebuild my leg."
"It has stairs," Nila admitted. "But there is a secondary transporter on the top floor so you'd only have to go down a flight instead of up three."
"What's a Lanar?" Evan asked.
"A lounging area, used for pleasure and relaxation," Nila told him with a smile. "It would be perfect. Or there is the personal one to the South," she told Atlantis. "Does it have less stairs?"
"Yes, it does," she agreed. "Both are suitable for use as far as I can tell."
"Then that'll give me a project too," Xander said with a happy grin. "Before I drive everyone nuts while I'm on my back."
"How are you going to get up to your room?" Radek asked. "The transporter ends at stairs. Eight of them between your office and your room."
"Well.... first I'm going to beg Rodney to go get into my storage areas in Dallas and Vancouver. I'm pretty sure he'll be able to find the working prototype for a floating chair there." They both groaned. "I am and always was a comic geek, guys. Also, if Rodney wanted, I'd let him browse through all the crap I have stored that I probably need to sell off. There's very few things in there that I really *have* to keep." They nodded, looking numb. "Then I can do stairs. Or go plant things. Or even make it to meals."
John stared at him in awe. "You have how much stuff stored?"
"Way too much but I need to go through it in person to sort out what needs to go because it was spiteful taking and what I want to keep."
"How many storage areas?" John asked.
"Um...." He counted mentally, tipping his head side to side. "Including the weapons storage area in the apartment in Cardiff that Dawn and I share?"
"Yes," he said patiently.
"Four. No, five. There's a small one started in Paris. That's where Armand was waiting until I could grab him because I didn't want to see Buffy slay him. Or see him eat a vampire."
Evan gaped. "Then all that stuff in your office?"
"Came out of Paris's but it's mostly empty. I think there's a few boxes left."
Radek whimpered. "What is the other things?"
Xander stared at him. "Do you really think the ex's didn't have to give me pretty things when they pissed me off or used me? Or that I didn't get vindictive?" he asked quietly. "You can ask Cam. I looted on that assignment. It's in Dallas."
Radek swallowed. "I like that idea actually," Evan decided. "That you didn't let them use you."
"You pay for it one way or another if you're not a real, true boyfriend. Then it's more equal and I pay for dates, you pay for dates. We both do nice things for the others."
"I never thought about it that way," John admitted. "Guys do pay for it in many ways. Being nice, paying for dates, buying treats."
"Is immoral," Radek pointed out.
Xander looked at him. "You didn't pay for dates?"
"Yes. I never expected them to put out."
"And neither do I but if they piss me off or I find that they're using me, they're fair game. I'm sorry if that upsets you, Radek."
"No, it is practical," he admitted, looking at him. "You never ask us for things."
"No, I don't," he agreed. Radek beamed at him. "Though I wouldn't mind a candy bar from my stash."
"Rodney already emptied it," Evan said. "I found one but I had some stress nibbling."
"Why send Rodney to get into them?" Radek asked.
"Because it's got a security system that'll zap anyone who's not ever traveled through time and he has."
"Ah!" he said, getting it. "The rest?"
"Numerical and then password I'll have on my USB key. Or he'll have to spring Dawn."
"That is most reasonable and safe," Rodney said as he walked in. "I heard my glorious name mentioned?"
"My flying chair is in either Dallas or Vancouver."
"You must be joking," he said flatly, staring at the boy.
"Comic geek?" he pointed out dryly, smiling some.
"Oh, dear god!" he complained.
"Well, there is that planet I helped with the farming stuff," he offered with a grin.
"I will beat you," Rodney said. "Why me?"
"Security system set to time travelers and an invisibility shield so no one can take it."
"Fine," he agreed. "I can do that and chat with my sister for a few days. Tell her you need a mother hen."
Xander pointed at Armand then his boys. "I have three."
"Clearly they need you to tell them when you're being heroic."
"The biography that may or may not be wrong said that he's done for this decade. Only one more miraculous thing that got noted and it was a weapon he fired off during an invasion of LA by demons," Evan told him.
Rodney stared at him. "You're making my brain hurt. Stop it."
"Sure," he agreed. He grinned at Radek. "We never did figure out if those two mated would they be in-laws."
"Probably. You'd consider it that way when your dogs marry."
Rodney let out a shriek and stomped off. "Give me the codes and addresses, Xander, before my brain leaks out my ears. Mira? Come on before they warp you too."
"Daddy has a headache, Mira," Xander told her. She scurried after him, cooing the whole way. "They're in my journal from before I moved to the base."
"I'll get 'em," Evan promised, smiling at him. "That way I can peek?"
"Go ahead." He took a kiss on the forehead. Radek stayed and John patted him then left. "Are you disappointed?" he asked quietly.
"No. I'm glad it was that instead of just killing them or leaving in shame or defeat." He leaned closer. "You do amazing, scary things," he said quietly, staring at him.
"Sometimes. Most of the time I'm in the right place at the wrong time."
"The others, you are very noble. Very much the knight they call you." Xander grimaced. "You are. That is why it is very scary when you say you have to leave suddenly to handle something." He stroked the back of his hand. "I would have liked to been there."
"If I fall, because I know I will some day, even I'm not that good or lucky, I don't want it to be witnessed by someone who would have that branded on their mind, Radek."
"It is better than wondering."
"Being told blunt facts is always nicer than having to see it happen, in person, watching the blood spray out and all that."
"True, but some of us do not want to hear the little things. We want to see it, to know it is true."
"Radek, he could've vaporized me."
"Which would have left us not knowing what happened."
"The Master came back," he said very quietly, glancing around. Radek moaned. "Like that year time loop that got canceled out for being a paradox."
Radek nodded. "He was evil and deserved it. He deserved you to take him out. But I'd rather be able to rush over and hold your limp body, hoping for revival or ascension than I would hear it on the news."
Xander nodded. "I understand."
"Good. Then next time..."
"There won't be a next time, Radek. Probably not for a long time."
Radek smiled, stroking over his boy's hair. "I would hope not. Remember this though." Xander nodded, staring at him. "Good." He planted another kiss on his forehead. "When you are out, we will watch movies and I may help you with your therapy." He winked. "Somehow." He stood up. "You need to rest."
"I'll nap soon."
"Rodney will be screaming soon for something since you gave him a migraine."
"Point." He shifted and winced. "That didn't feel good. Hey, Doc?" She came walking back. "Should I pop and then feel damp when I shift my leg inward?"
"No." She uncovered it and took off the dressing, grimacing. "That's possibly not good." She scanned it. "Not good. Radek, take Armand."
"He had shifted a few times to get comfortable."
"He didn't move any of the stitches this time, his hip partially dislocated and opened a new one." Radek moaned. "Let me take him to fix it." Radek stole the dragon and helped her get Xander into the operating theater. "By the time that special chair gets here, you should be able to get out of bed," she said dryly.
"Yay me," he said flatly, waving at Radek and Armand. "I'll be fine," he called. He looked up. "Hey, Nila, can you make a list for Rodney for me? That way I know what to pick up in the way of cuttings?"
She popped in. "There are some plants in stasis, Xander, but not many. As for the lanar, there are some very big pots and one that has a huge crack thanks to some bigger than average roots." He smiled and rattled off a few things in ancient, making her gasp and clap her hands in glee like she had seen one of the airmen do. She beamed at the doctor. "That is a wonderful plan!" She went to tell Atlantis, who helped her make the list after looking over the area. It could definitely be done. Especially if Xander could get there.
Rodney came out of the stargate, handing over the files. "From Xander's other doctor. He's got a plan hatched to do his PT up there."
"He blipped and came back?" Landry guessed.
"He had to, he still can't really move from the bed."
"We can switch a wheelchair up there but there are stairs," he pointed out with a sigh at the end. "He'll have to move his room."
"He has a flying chair in storage," he said dryly. "That's one reason I got sent." The general rubbed his head. "Think how I feel." He walked past him. "Mira?" She hopped on his shoulder, nuzzling him and cheeping, staring at the new person. "This is General Landry. He runs this base." She sniffed delicately then cheeped at him and waved her tail.
"She's cuter than the pictures said," he said with a small smile petting her ear. "You're adorable." She preened.
"Yes, you're as cute as I am smart," Rodney agreed, making her purr. Landry laughed and quit petting her. "Anyway. Dallas, Vancouver, two other places to pick up plants because we don't have the right sort of plants that he wants to work on, and then he'll have a nice relaxation area set up and we can work on the one we found hidden in a tower we haven't explored yet."
"I thought you had a map."
"We do. Radek never asked about relaxation areas and apparently this was used for something like a formal relaxation area. Plants, tea, small water feature," he said with a hand wave.
"Their version of a koi garden?" Landry guessed.
"Apparently." He shrugged. Mira cheeped at him. "Sorry."
"She does you good."
Rodney smirked. "Quite. She also sucks up to Miko's leather boots." He walked around him. "Let me get that chair so it can go up on the ship. Hopefully with his plant samples." He looked at his dragon. Then at the general. "Inside are also mission profiles for the replicator attack and what they found out."
"Assuran?" he asked, finding the disk.
"No, ours. Xander woke up out of sedation demanding to see Jackson because he realized they had been bug replicators, not people replicators as he put it in his report."
"It gives Ellis their trajectory so he can do a scan however you want him too." He waved a hand. "Come, Mira. Let's be traumatized by human flight." He left. A few of the people on base stopped him to look at her. She was sucking up the attention but he didn't let anyone too dumb pet her in case it was contagious. You never knew what you'd find around the base.
Ellis beamed down, looking at the waiting people. "Xander's chair is seriously strange."
"He's a comic geek," John said dryly. "Look like the Professor's?"
"No. I expected it to but no. It's got some futuristic hovering, mag-lev technology." Xander grinned from the stairs. "They finally let you out of bed?"
"Yup, barely. Did you get my plants?"
"I have three boxes for you on your chair, Harris."
"Cool!" It got beamed down and they helped him up and over to it. He had a work table for the boxes that was sturdier than it looked. He opened them and beamed, having Atlantis beam them to his room or the Lanar. Then he floated it and they all groaned. It looked like a wheelchair, front uncovered, table across the lap, pack on the back of it. Wheels too so he could do it the normal way. He maneuvered and beamed. "Thanks, Ellis."
"Welcome, kid." He shook his head. "Landry wanted to know if you'd let others who needed it borrow it after you were done."
"Sure. Let me know who needs it. Even Jack after they finally replace his bad knees." He smirked. "I'm going to do things. Need me?" he asked John.
"Go." He smiled, watching him putter off. It did seem to send out soft noise. He shook his head. Armand leapt up and snuggled on him too. "At least he won't be stuck in bed driving everyone nuts."
"Not hardly, he'll drive you nuts in person," Ellis said with a smirk.
"I heard that," Xander called back as he rode off. "If you like me, you never go nuts."
"Uh-huh." He looked at Sheppard. "McKay too." He got beamed down with the rest of the stuff. "There, have him." He walked off to oversee unloading and have dinner. Since they had good cooks and no Woolsey there wouldn't be liver. Probably never again on Atlantis.
John looked at Rodney. "What are you reading?"
"Another of Xander's multi-billion books he has in storage," he said dryly, looking up at him. Mira yawned. "Yes, the person who wrote this is rather boring," he agreed. She leapt at John, cooing and nuzzling him. John petted her, making her happy. "She hated riding in the carrier on the planes. My sister adored her though. Wanted her own." He walked off. "Radek, your boy is mobile," he called. "And I found a few new books for you to bum too." Mira cheeped up at John, who followed. She was happy with how she had trained them.
To Next Part
Back to Crossovers Index