The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 2: When Good Fairies Go Bad.

Xander called the news station that was running a 'who were they' special on the people who had fought in the invasion.  "This is Harris.  Yes, that one.  No, I don't want to be noted.  I hate publicity, it makes my life a thousand times harder, so could you please quit?  No, I'm not.  I'm very bi, in a committed homosexual relationship, love my plants and my swords, and you're making my life miserable, so please stop now.  Before I sue.  Thank you."  He hung up and threw his phone.  He had strengthened the casing so that was safe.

Evan picked up the phone and walked away.  "They're only reacting to public interest.  It'll be forgotten about in a few days," he soothed.  "Calm down."

"I don't want to calm down."  He walked off.  "I'm going to help Rodney with the new lab they found."

"Sure," Evan agreed.  "Check on the eggs."

"I did before breakfast.  They're doing fine."  He grinned and got beamed over there.  He looked up at John.  "What new lab?"

"C'mon, we can go.  You chew someone a new one?"

"Yeah, the news station trying to identify all of us."  He walked beside him down the familiar halls.  "By the way, they got you and your service record, the classified version."

"Yay," John said sarcastically.  "I'm sure someone will be unhappy."

"I'm unhappy, does that count?  I have other pictures that I can put out there."

"No, don't.  He agreed not to medal those of us who didn't want it this time."  He patted him on the back.  "Rodney found the hidden lab and he's not sure what much of anything does."

"That's better than the constant wiring we've been doing for the last few days.  I could use some nice mind clearing work instead of wire, solder, insulate."

"Sure."  He walked him into the lab.  "McKay."  He looked up.  "One willing helper."

"Wonderful.  How's the wiring going?"

"We finally have it all done."  He came over to look and not touch.  "I recognize that as something that got ran over my side's injury when I appeared."

"It's some sort of medical scanner," he agreed.  "Probably their version of a sonic screwdriver."  He ran it over the boy.  "Hmm, reads your DNA taint, reads your thigh healing, reads your body wash or oil."

"Lotion.  I was out tanning for a bit until someone complained that I wasn't making myself work on my first day off in forever."

"So you came here?" Rodney snorted.

"Yes.  Radek came to shoo her off and make her go work on her day off instead.  He was all grumbly so I'm getting out of the way."

"Wonderful," he agreed.  "As you can see, this lab appears to be medical."

Xander shook his head.  "No, it's not, Rodney."  He pointed.  "I recognize some of the structure of that one.  They used it to tell when I had come from and it did react to magic.  That's how they coded the little anti-magic ball that tried to screw up my office."  Rodney groaned, walking over to it.  He followed, coming over to look at the machines but not touch.  He looked around.  "Something seems eerily familiar," he decided, looking around.  "Atlantis?"  She popped into being, smiling at him.  "Hi.  Can I have Asha's and Janus' full notes regarding this machine and the blue thingy over there?" he asked with a point.

She looked at it then shrugged.  "I have no idea what that is."

"Anything about this lab?" Xander asked.

"No, not that I've seen.  You translated it."

Xander nodded, considering it. "I swear I know something like this."  He walked around, thinking back.  Every time he did he got a headache.  He sat on the bench of the machine, looking up as he leaned back.  Then he sat up.  "We have to go now."

"Why?" John asked calmly.

"Because if we don't, we're going to have problems.  I made myself forget this side-trip.  They breached realities into something that makes Disney look like crack.  Go, now."  They walked out but it was too late.  Three ATA carriers in a lab and something will come on.  There was a way to make sure of it and the Ancients did have a sense of humor.  Especially the two on Atlantis trying to ascend.  "Shit," Xander said as the light hit them.  "I'll kill those two bastards in seclusion."


Atlantis was freaking out.  For an AI, that was both weird and worrying.  She was pacing as well.  In midair.  "What happened?" Radek asked as he walked in.  She had frantically called him back to the city citing an emergency.  She queued up the tape for them to watch.  Mitchell was there, Keller too.  Faith too.  Now if only Rodney, John, and Xander were there.  The generals were both there, she had stolen them from home.  They watched as their three brightest disappeared.  "Oh, shit," Jack muttered.  "Atlantis, where did they go?"

"I'm not sure.  I have no idea what that lab does.  It seemed that Xander recognized it though."

Radek got her to beam him back to his room so he could get into the library.  He found the journal from when he had been with Asha, looking it over.  He grimaced, getting her to bring him back to the meeting area once he was back on Atlantis through that doorway.  He walked in and looked up.  "There is a reason Janus was known as a chaos god."

Evan stole it to read.  "So this was Janus's version of 'let's get drunk and see what comes out of the lab'?" he decided when he got finished.

"Apparently," Radek sighed, sitting down again.  "Presently they are trapped in another realm."

"How?" Landry asked.  Evan gave him the journal.  He read it and then looked at them.  "How in the hell does Harris get into these situations?"

"I'm wondering why he didn't recognize it right off," Evan admitted.

"I'd push that out of my mind as well," Radek said dryly.  That sounded horrible.  Truly horrible.  They might have to go save them.


Xander looked around the room he was in.  It had no doors that he could find.  A few small windows that he wouldn't be able to fit through.  He had on clothes that were flimsy and white.  All in all, this was the suckiest flashback ever.  He calmed himself, reaching for his magic.  A bit blocked.  Only his internal stores.  He mentally reached into what the Doctor had taught him after that year that wasn't.  Rodney was a former ascended.  Fortunately.  He felt the energy flows and grabbed onto some.  He sent a message to them.  Cryptic but it might help.  "I am not Scheherazade," he mumbled.  "I do not tell nightly tales for 1001 nights or die.  Fix it before I have to do that again."  He went limp, letting it go.  He stared at the ceiling and the mural on it.  "I know you're a chaos god, but *really*!  Must you again?"  The mural's head nodded.  "Well, fuck you."

"You can die," it told him.

Xander stared at him.  "Because that worked *so* well for you the last time," he snorted.  "I don't care how much you and your other half or whatever he is talked about me.  I'm not playing this game again."

"You entered the machine."

"No, we didn't.  We were in the doorway.  We were getting away from the machine because I figured out what it was.  You unfairly stole us."

"Another Ancient set it to you."

"I'll kill those two assholes," he said bluntly.  "There's no way in hell.  I'm not playing this game.  You want amusement, descend.  Learn to play video games or go to porn parlors.  I'm not giving it."

"Then you can die.  Even your kind can die."

Xander stared at him.  "Don't make me break things.  I remember how I nearly did it last time and I can start there again."  The demon/ascended/chaos god glared.  Xander stared back.  "You know what?  Even if you wanted to play, there's only three of us.  Pity."

"I can kill them."

"I doubt it.  McKay will reascend and kick you to death."

"Hmm, an interesting challenge.  The power here is not your sort."

Xander smirked.  "All power's my sort of power, dumbass.  Not like I only use *one* sort."  The head disappeared.  Xander calmed himself, reaching out to tap into the sources he usually ignored.  It was dangerous to tap into the temporal stream for power.  Or even into voids, vortexes, alternate realities, or any of it.


Jack Harkness opened the door for Ianto on their way to lunch and a bright light took them.  Jack blinked when the light cleared, looking around the tower room.  This was not their usual chinese place.  "Ianto?" he called.  No answer.  He scowled, starting to mentally growl.  Someone was going to pay for hurting Ianto.  Even if he was perfectly fine back at home he'd worry.  This was not going to make anyone happy.  He looked around the tower room again.  Nothing unusual.  He checked himself over, realizing something.  He was...  "I don't usually wear gothic dresses with low bust lines," he said, staring down at his chest to make sure it wasn't for a necessary reason.  "Well, no tits at least," he decided, removing the falsies that had been inserted.  "That's a benefit."  He patted himself on the head.  "Stupid hat.  Am I in a fairy tale?"  He checked, no wings.  Just the stupid hat and dress.  He hoped Ianto didn't see him like that.  He didn't want laughed at today or him to take pictures.  Or Owen to take pictures to post up everywhere in Cardiff.

"Rapunzel, let down your hair," a male voice called.

"Are you fucking stupid?" he yelled back, coming to the window.  This was not making him happy.  Not even traveling through time had made him do things like this.

"Yes and it's your damn daughter's fault," Owen shouted back.  Jack smirked at that.  "Get down here!"

"How?  No ladder, genius."

"Cut off the hair, tie it off, and climb down it," Owen said smartly.  "Like she did in the damn story!"

"Thank you for telling me that."  He found a knife and did that, though it took nearly forever.  He'd have to keep the knife to sharpen for later use when he stabbed whoever had done this to them.  He finally made it to the ground and took off the dress.  He was in pants, leather ones, and nothing else.  "Fuck it," he decided.  They walked off.  "Any idea?"

"No.  This is Dawn shit, not Torchwood crap.  Though I'm hoping she's not Sleeping Beauty."  They went into the enchanted forest to deal with whoever had done this.  They seriously wanted to have a *talk* with them.


Dawn looked up, feeling the shift in the magic.  "Clean my leather halter top," one sister shouted.

"Restring my crossbow!" the other complained.  "I have to go on patrol tonight."

Dawn stared at them.  "Shut up, both of you."  They stared at her.  "I'm not your fucking maid, I'm your sister."  They gaped.  "Faith, Buffy, snap out of it!" she ordered, adding magic to the order.  They did and stared at her.  "Morning," she said sarcastically.  "Where were you before this shit happened?  And if that's Mom being the wicked stepmother I'm going to destroy this plane!" she called.

"You will not," a male voice said.  "You aren't that skilled."

Dawn stared at the mural that was forming on the ceiling.  "Bet me!  Even if I have to dump raw power into it to unravel it, I fucking will."

"That would kill the others here."

"I doubt that too."

"Beyond that, mortally embarrassed by the outfit anyway," Buffy said, waving a hand at her slutty, low cut halter top and matching leather pants plus three inch heeled boots.  "Kinda not my style."

Faith looked at hers then at her 'sister'.  "Yeah, gotta change the shoes and find a jacket."  They went to do that.  "D?"

"Shoes, jacket.  Maybe if Owen sees me in this getup I'll get pounced tonight instead of studying for physics."  She glared at the mural.  "I know who the fuck you are and as soon as I get home I'm taking out your pervy little priest Ethan," she said quietly.  "Even if I have to go on a vendetta war to get all the chaos people out of the way, I will.  I'll probably get help.  My big brother Xander would."

"He is not involved in these because his mind is fertile with what I need to hear for amusement."  It faded.  Dawn poured power into the spot and he came back.  "What are you doing, mortal?"

Dawn snorted.  "I'm not a mortal, asshole.  I haven't been since I was made."  He stared at her, then a light went over her.  "So yeah, not happy with you."  The Ancient gaped in horror.  "Put us back.  Now."

"You may go."

"My mother will go.  The rest of us will go.  Now.  Or I'll make sure they go."

"You would kill them with your lack of training."

Dawn snickered.  "Really?  Because all I have to do is link to Xander, and I'm kinda like his little sister."  The beam went down around her and she disappeared.  "Hmm."  She looked around the house, going to talk to the witches being petted by Morticia.  "Janus stole us."

They stopped arguing with the plants to stare at her.  "Xander is participating in chaos magic," one told her.

"No, Janus stole all our asses.  I was just there."  They read her energy and gasped.  "I got sent back because I was going to kill the fucker."  She put her hands on her hips.  Low cut leather catsuit?  Sure, she could handle that and the heels.  "So, no.  He's not.  He's trying to get everyone else free.  If chaos is the only source, he'll probably reach for temporal energy first."  She shrugged.  "He's not going evil.  Leave the house alone."

"Fine," the head witch said.  "We wish to see him when he gets back."

Dawn stared at her.  "Didn't you guys graduate him?"  They groaned.  "Shoo so I can get back at Janus and help save their asses."  They stomped off.  She erected Xander's shields around the house and found the book to transport her back with what she needed.  She found a few orbs and a few other things she'd need in his work area.  She packed a bag and took it to Atlantis since that's where the wailing about Xander being missing was heard.  She walked into the lab a few minutes later.  "Fucking Janus," she told Jack.  "Sick, sad, psycho asshole who's playing Brothers Grimm."  She sat on the machine and turned it on, sending herself back there.  This was not going to be going on much longer if she had a say in it.  And her mother had better be home!

Jack stared in horror.  "Oooh, someone's pissed."

"Ya think?" Jon asked.  "Janus?"

"Yup," Landry said.  "That's what she said."

Daniel and Jon went into the machine too.  It was the least they could do since they couldn't find Cam now either.  Or Vala.

Though they had found Evan for some reason.  Not Radek but Evan.


Xander was glaring at the being who dared to come into the room.  "You are not amusing me.  We will fix that or you will die."

Xander stared at him.  "You tried that last time.  It didn't work."

"This time we will use the method that you fought so hard last time."  He held up the sword.  "Or you will give in."

"You tried that last time.  Do you remember what happened?"  He stood up.  "Because it won't be happening.  I doubt you can behead me."  The supposed ancient laughed.  Xander summoned the sword.  The ancient stared.  "I'm not as weak as I was then."  He leaned on the sword.  "Anything else on this sick, pathetic exercise in pissing me off?"

"You're not the same as we are," he sneered.

"I don't need to be.  I'm a Traveler, not an Ancient."  Janus laughed.  Xander concentrated, pulling the other magics to him.  Janus escaped, but that was his intention.  Now he knew where the damn door was.  Plus he was armed.  That helped, a lot.  Now he could be pissed.


Evan looked around the small hut.  Then at the other six people.  "Huh," he said.  They all stared around and echoed him.  "Anyone have *any* idea?"  He wouldn't mention the clothes.  He really wouldn't.  He'd ignore his own little dwarf outfit too.  Especially the dorky hat.

"Yes," Owen said.  "It's Dawn and Xander shit."  He struggled out of the outfit of choice this time.  He was going to kill someone for putting him in that.  But at least it hadn't been a dress.

"Obviously," Evan agreed.  "Any other ideas?"

"Fairy tales.  I woke up being Rapunzel," Jack admitted.  Evan tried not to smirk.  "If we're in here, who's Snow White?"  They looked outside.  No glass coffin.

"Fan out," Evan ordered.  "Find if it's here.  It should be relatively close by."  They left the hut to find the coffin.  They found one.  It was empty.  "Thank you," Evan muttered.  "Okay, any ideas what we're doing?"

"Waiting or we can fight back," Jack said.  "I'm not exactly passive about these things."

Dawn appeared in a flash of light.  She dimmed, then flashed, then dimmed.  She squinted up and suddenly glowed very brightly.  Whoever left her there.  "Good."  She walked over.  "Break the fucker.  Let's move on and find Xander.  I have the feeling whoever did this, they want him."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Because it's Janus."  She smirked.  "He *really* likes Xander and Xander doesn't feel calm.  Xander's edging on his temper's core.  Again.  And he wasn't the last few times he lost it."  She shot into the coffin, bursting the glass top.  The whole thing dimmed out and so did the area around them.  "Okay, we've had Cinderella, Rapunzel, and Snow White," she said dryly.  She looked around.  "We're in...." Faith showed up only she had a froufy dress on and was grimacing at it.  "Faith?"

"Yes, Rose Red?"

"Ah!"  She nodded.  "Okay.  Let's go save the bear prince then."  Faith gave her an odd look.  "We've got to save Xander from Janus.  We're bouncing through fairy tales.  Right now, we're in Rose Red.  Sisters who treat a bear very kindly and he ends up being a prince."

"Huh," Faith said.  "I hate this dress."  She fought her way out of it, then sighed in pleasure.  "Hey, I can do boxer briefs and a tank top," she assured her.

Dawn smirked.  "I'd offer but I'm not wearing panties or a bra."

"That's okay.  Dawn juices aren't something I need to share," she said with an evil smirk.

"Good point."  She and Faith walked out, heading to find the bear prince.  The thing was fighting with the little gnome or whatever it was.  Faith took the crossbow from the bag and shot the gnome.  The bear smiled at them and told them thank you, sounding a lot like Evan.

Faith leaned on the bear's shoulder.  "Does this mean I should call you Papa Bear?" she quipped.

"Please don't," he moaned.  Dawn gathered things that was in his cave.  They went into her bag and Evan faded.  Faith and Dawn shared a look as they faded, Dawn grabbing onto her.


John Sheppard walked up to the castle.  "No thorns.  Please God, let this not be Sleeping Beauty," he muttered.  He saw the proclamation and paused, thinking back.  "Twelve princesses?  Where...  The dancing shoes," he said with a snap.  "Okay."  This one was only deadly if he didn't remember what was going on.  He went in to put himself forward.   What he saw later that night with the 'princesses' showed that Janus was having a bad day.  Rodney in a middle ages gown....  Not pretty.  The complaining was worse.  Him complaining that this dress was worse than the last one and all those mattresses with the pea underneath was going to give him nightmares - because if this low cut, sultry looking silk and lace gown was worse...  He did not want to hear about Rodney in any sort of gown.

"Enough," he complained back.  "Let's get through this."  He looked around.  Radek was swearing in Chinese about his dress.  Dawn and Faith looked hot in their dresses.  He knew how it went so he followed them down to their 'ball' with the supposed people.  Then the next morning he faced down the king, who looked a lot like the medallions and artwork on some ceilings they had woken up in.  He made his report and they ended up in a courtyard.  Radek turned and gasped, running.  There were guards though.

John stared, grimacing.  "No, not happening."

"He can't kill me," Xander called.  "Don't."

"Shut up," Dawn called.  She handed Owen the bag she had carried, pulling out things.  "Stop them.  I'm ending this shit."  They ran off to help Radek beat the guards and the executioner.  Dawn started to pull power and they all faded but him.  "Yeah," she said snidely.  "No thanks."  She found the crux of the powers and yanked, ending the machine.  She and Xander ended up back in the room, with the bag still in Owen's hands.  "Xander?"  He was in Radek's arms, shaking some.  Evan was stroking his back.  "Guys?"

"He'll be fine," Radek said.  Xander mumbled something then stood up and grabbed Jack's sidearm since he was the closet armed.  He stormed out.  "I think I know where he's going."

"Atlantis, he's to let us help him," John called, hurrying after him.  "Xander!  Let us help!"

Jack Harkness looked at O'Neill.  "So, doorway back to Xander's house?  Before I end up in another low cut frock that will give Ianto nightmares?"

"I know where it is," Dawn said, leading them off.  "I won't mention anything if you guys don't."

"Not a problem," Jack assured her.  "I've seen many strange things traveling with Doc and otherwise, that's ...that just sucked."  Owen snickered at that.  "Hey, not like you ended up in the dress."

"I ended up in too many of them," Dawn complained.

Owen and Jack both looked at her.  "Change," they said in unison.

"Once I do the damn report," she sighed.  "We have to do the Torchwood paperwork after all," she said mock cheerfully.  They groaned.  She swatted Owen on the ass.  "I won't mention the pretty frock you woke up in as a princess if you don't."

"I'm not mentioning any such thing and I'm thinking this wasn't rift related so we don't have to report it," Owen said, looking at Jack.

"That works for me," Jack agreed.  "So Dawn can change immediately."

"It's kinda comfy," she admitted, walking through the doorway.  She went to let the witches in.  "He's killing the ones that sent us there.  And possibly Janus himself."  She locked them out again and went to her own apartment.  Ianto and Gwen were in there cooking.  "Oh, it's team dinner night, we forgot."

"What were you doing?" Gwen asked cautiously.

"Dealing with Janus."

"Not Torchwood related so no paperwork," Owen said, pushing Dawn into her bedroom.  "Change."

She smirked.  "What?  I don't look hot?"

Ianto stared at her.  "I wouldn't mind if you let Jack borrow those pants," he said dryly.  "But I don't want to see *you* in them, Dawn.  Please?"

She smirked.  "Dad?"

"I'm having very un-fatherly thoughts.  You should take a picture for Buffy and your mother before you change."  He stared at her.  She giggled and went in there to change.  "Thank you!" he shouted.

Dawn waved an arm through the half-open door.  "What am I putting on since I need to do laundry?"

Owen walked in and kicked the door shut.  "You have more clothes than some malls."

"Nothing casual.  We've been off for the last few days."

He looked her over.  "You can wear that later," he quipped, pulling out something to make her get redressed.  Before he had bad ideas in front of her father and Ianto.  They'd pick on him for weeks if he even thought too much about the dirty thoughts he was having right now.

She leaned closer to his ear.  "Are you on top tonight or not?" she hissed in his ear, then licked it.

He shivered.  "We'll wrestle for it later."

"Hmm, wrestling.  I'll put on the plastic sheets once the Welsh version of Buffy is gone."  He moaned and nodded.  "Should I keep the shoes?" she asked with a wink and a smirk.

He looked down.  "I didn't even notice them.  Hand them to what's-her-name, the one with the Master.  He might appreciate them on her."

"Cool."  She walked out with him, wearing fuzzy slippers and plaid pajama bottoms, plus one of his t-shirts.  Jack grinned at that, much happier with that look.  "I'm not doing pigtails, Dad."

"I know.  That's fine."  He patted her on the shoulder.  Then he stared at her.  "Can't you...."

"No, I can't.  They're all in the wash.  You guys keep calling me in every time I try to do laundry."

He made a whining noise but Ianto smirked at him for his whining about his daughter going braless.


Ronon stopped Xander, pushing him against the wall.  "Stop," he ordered calmly.

"They fucking set it on purpose; they knew what it did."

"Then let us help!" Ronon complained.  "I haven't gotten to kill anything in days."

Xander stared at him.  "They didn't torture you."

"Yes, but that's what friends do," John said when he caught up to them.  "General?" he asked, spotting him catching up.  "Can we kick them into the water for the sharks?"

"Please do.  I don't want them on the base."

"We can send them to the Ori," John said dryly.

"Go for it," he agreed.  "Let him go, Ronon.  He's very pissed."

Radek walked around them and looked at Xander, taking the gun.  "It is not your job to kill them.  They nearly took what was mine.  It is my job."  Xander looked so confused.  He smiled and walked off, checking the gun.

"Doctor Z?  You can't actually shoot," Ronon said, following him.

John gave the boy a hug around the shoulders.  "Are you okay?"

"He was trying to psych me out," he said quietly.

"He freaked us out," John assured him.  He walked him off to follow.  The general had followed Zelenka.  Someone was going to get those Ancients.  They weren't going to make it to the Ori.


Evan pulled Xander closer that night, staring at him.  He hugged him and Xander clung.  Radek got his back and it was better.  Xander snuggled in.  "We would've done anything to stop them," Radek assured him.

"I know.  It wouldn't have worked anyway," Xander said.

Evan pulled back to look at him.  "I know you blocked out the last time."

"Who got into my journal?"

"Radek got it, I read it, Landry only read that section," Evan said, stroking his back.   "We were working to see if we could stop it."  Xander nodded, shrugging a bit.  "He'd never say anything."

Radek looked out as doors shut.  "Atlantis?" he called.

"That was her," Nila called.  "There was a small attack there by someone like Dawn."

"Need me?" Xander called.

"No, she said to stay there, Xander."  She went back to her own city, finding Rodney looking unhappy.  "People like Dawn attacked my child's city."

Rodney grimaced.  "Send me back there with a zat?" he asked.

"No, she has it.  They are frozen but does not want them near Xander."

"If you're sure."  She smiled and nodded, beaming him a cup of fresh coffee.  "Thank you."  He tapped his earpiece.  "Sheppard, is anything needed?"

"No, the witches are mad at the Ancients too," he said back.  "They're so pissed it's not funny.  Dawn got called and she's chewed them a new one in her jammies.  She's back home, they're pouting, but they're going to leave Xander alone."

"Sir," Evan said.  "Are they coming here?"

"No, Lorne.  You're clear."

"Thank you."  He hung up.

Rodney smirked.  "I'm on Nila."

"Coming."  He hung up and got beamed there.  "Jon's got a mouth on him.  He chewed the witches a new one in a way I've never heard even Marines do."  He sat down with his own coffee.

"I'd expect both of them to do it and Radek to do it too.   I was surprised the general got him stopped."

"Me too.  Ronon wanted him to go on."

"I would've cheered," Rodney admitted.  "Where are they?"

"They got sent to a small world that has a few handfuls of people farming.  They can make their own way, go ascend there, whatever they want.  As long as they never come here again."

"That machine?"

"Jon took a staff weapon to it.  It blew prettily."

"Thank god and hopefully there's no way anyone can pull up pictures."

"There had better not be."

"At least you weren't in the gown," Rodney said dryly.

"Yeah, not your best look to date," John said with a small smirk.  Rodney kicked him.  He rubbed the sore part but John was still snickering.  So Rodney kicked him harder, rattling the table.  Rodney saved his own coffee but John was still grinning.  "What?"

"I should send just you there," he shot back.

"Nah, I doubt I'd have that sort of fun in the fairy tales."  He finished his coffee and stood up.  "Coming back tonight?  The rest of that lab still needs looked over."

"I'll do it tomorrow.  I need to be here tonight since Radek and Xander are both gone."

"Fine.  We'll lock that lab down for the rest of the night."  He got beamed back and told the generals that.  They were all for destroying the rest of the machines, just in case more of them got stolen and ended up in fairy tales - Grimm or Disney.  Though, O'Neill did joke about seeing a few of them as Disney Princesses.  John glared but being a higher rank meant he couldn't hit him for it.  Though, Atlantis did swat him by beaming something behind him and letting it go.  Ample payback.


Xander walked into Nila's city the next morning and immediately wanted to go back to bed.  "Ladies," he told the witches.  "You're out of your usual time zone."

"You partook of chaos magic, Xander."

"No, I got kidnaped by Janus thanks to a few Ancients being fucking idiots."  He stared at them.  "Do I feel like I was doing chaos magic?"

One of them stepped forward to put a hand on his cheek, shaking her head.  "No, you did not do the magic yourself."

"Duh!" Evan said as he walked around them.  "Next time, stop shit like that from being able to be done."

"That is not our calling," the one in the lead said.

The one guarding the others from bothering them sneered at him.  "He should be tough enough to withstand and beat any problem that is sent to him in that manner."

Xander growled and put a hand on her head, sharing that vision with her.  And the first one.  She shrieked and passed out.  "Really?  Let's see you do it, bitch."  He walked around them.  "Leave me and mine alone.  I'm *not* in a good mood and I'm more than willing to take it out on anyone else."

The witches gathered their fallen one and huffed off.

Xander went back to his house.  "I'm off today."  He slammed the door.

Radek nodded.  "Of course you are.  You will sulk all day."  Evan nodded.  "All right, people, let's get back to work.  We still have many problems to solve before normals get sent here to do stupid things."

One of the soldiers raised his hand.  "What happened?"

"Ancient lab, Ancients on Atlantis being bitches," Evan said.  "Machine that took us to their version of a mind fuck."  They all shuddered.  "Exactly.  Xander's not happy.  He's taking today off.  He might go destroy some of the coven he trained with, not real sure yet.  O'Neill and them destroyed the machines after banishing those Ancients to another planet.  Let's get back to work."

They all nodded.  If Harris was that upset, someone would go help him pout later.  Or hand him interesting new plant samples, something to make him happier.  Before he made the cities pout too.


John walked through the link in his bedroom, staring around.  "Doing some construction?" he guessed.  The living room area was a shitload larger.  It nearly echoed.  "Xander?" he called.

"Fifth floor!" got called down.

"We have five floors?" he asked.  "Huh."  He went up there.  "Hey, an observation deck," he said, looking appreciative.  He sat down beside the sweaty young man.  "You did a lot of work."

"I pissed off some of the witches and had to make them leave me alone again.  They decided I had to be retested.  They even tried to be mean.  So I ended up sending a few into situations they wanted to beg and scream about.  They decided I hadn't done it to us after all," he said bitterly.  "They tried to hurt Gomez too but I healed him.  Them... they've got some work to repair."

"The other ones like you?" John asked quietly.

"Agreed with me.  A few said they had done it to them too but the witches learned to leave them alone too."  He sipped his soda and sniffled.  "But we're fine.  They apologized."

John reached over to pat him on the arm.  "You did not do that.  You were as much a victim as we were.  Even if you didn't end up in a dress like some of them did."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Rodney's still complaining that his warped mind made him into a girl."

"He had breasts?"

"No, thankfully not.  Just a really pretty ballgown."  Xander cracked a smile. "I can't imagine the fit he'd throw if he had breasts."

"He'd probably be spluttering the whole time.  Dawn looked nice."

"Dawn gave every single man who saw her dirty thoughts," John admitted with a small grin.  He put on the sunglasses that got beamed next to him.  "Thanks, Atlantis."  Since they were his, it had to be his city doing it.  Others came in.  "What's on the new third and fourth floor?"

"Bigger guest rooms."  He took another drink of his soda.  Rodney came up, pointing and staring.  "I got pissed.  Had to work it off."

"Ah!"  He nodded, coming over to sit down.  "Are they fine?"

"They'll replant a bunch of shit, but they won't touch Gomez or Morticia again."  Radek waked over and sat on Xander's legs, staring at him.  He grinned.  "Bad day?" he asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"Very bad day.  I had to yell at people myself."  He laid down next to him, letting Xander cuddle him.  Xander felt better whenever he was making someone else feel better.

Evan came out and snuggled in too.  "Nila, or Atlantis, warn us if someone comes through please."

"Only Jon, who came with you, so far," Nila said.

"She's sounding mechanical again," Radek sighed.

"We need to fix that node," Xander agreed.  They sighed and got up, going to help her.  The others smiled at them and relaxed.  When they came back, Nila's projector was with them.  She was happier, smiling again, and for some reason had changed clothes.

Rodney pointed.  "Chanel?"

"Kavanagh," Radek said dryly.

"He was very nice to program me sixty new clothing options, and a few hairstyles as well," Nila said with a smile.  "That way I could vary my look depending on who was around."  She changed to something more casual and settled in to enjoy the stars coming out with her family.  Atlantis showed up and she had changed into jeans and a t-shirt too.  "You do look nice in those, child."

"Thank you, Nila," Atlantis said with a beaming, happy smile.  "The generals do you say it, freaked out?"  They all nodded, smiling at the two AI's.  "But most of them did get very amused."

Jon came up the stairs, looking at the two projections, nodding.  "Nice choices."  He settled into a free seat with a sigh.  "This is nice.  The coven?"

Xander flicked a pebble at the air.  It glowed for a second.  "I'm still not happy.  When I'm happy I'll bring it down and associate."

Evan patted him gently on the arm.  "It'll work itself out.  They can't blame you for being taken by a demented machine."


"What are you?" Calvin Kavanagh asked the dog-shaped thing that just appeared.  He finally had a night off so he was doing some more clothing programming for Nila at her request.  And now, strange, bad things were going on.  It was redish-brown.  It had features like a doberman but an impossibly wide mouth.  It seemed to drool an awful lot but it looked very happy.  It also looked extemely mean.

"That would be Dawn's pet," Xander said from behind him, making him jump.  He patted him on the back.  "He's friendly most of the time, unless you're an evil demon."  He looked at the scientist.  "You can pet him.  Or her, we weren't exactly sure.  Her species doesn't show gender until it's an adult."

"It's a what?" he demanded.

"A hellhound.  Spike won him in a kitten poker game.  It was either him or they'd have to pay Spike in artillery, which he'd have to pay to me in rent for sharing my apartment and eating all my snack food with his blood.  So instead he took him and helped Dawn raise him.  It was right after her mom got sick."

"Did it come to see you?" he asked.

"No.  Maybe not.  Not usually unless Dawn or Spike are nearby.  I get called when strange things appear, usually being begged to bring a sword or something."  He grinned.

The mutt growled and moved between them, guarding her new friend.

Kavanagh stared at it.  "He's not mean to me unless I'm an ass."

The dog stared at him then huffed at Xander, who she let pet her now.  "You should go see Dawn, silly.  She's even found a pack alpha for herself.  She's with her daddy in Wales.  In Cardiff."  The dog nosed the other one.

"What is it doing?"

"Aww, I think she's adopting you as her puppy!"  He clapped him on the shoulder, happy.  "She obviously sees good qualities in you, Calvin.  Grab on, she wants to take you to introduce you to the one who raised her."

"Huh?"  Xander put his hand on her back and they left.  They landed and he was still confused.  "Why did you bring me?"  She nosed him and yapped, wagging her barbed tail.  "You actually like me?"

"She's picky about who she likes," Dawn said.  "Or did you turn out to be a boy, Harry?"  She turned and flipped her tail up.  "Aww, you are a girl!  Xander won that bet."  She reached over to pet her.  "She likes you," she said slowly and clearly.  "That's a very special thing.  Upset my dog and I'll stab you."

"You must be Dawn then.  Xander said you were a lot like his little sister."  He pushed his glasses back up his nose.

She beamed.  "Yes I am."  She went back to cooing and baby-talking at her dog, getting a happy mutt lapping her and barking back.

"So, um, are the rumors true that they eat souls?" Calvin asked.

"We taught her to go after the bad demons and vampires who might hurt me.  That way she was a good guard dog and my precious little one," she cooed.  The dog barked louder and wagged her tail.

Owen came out of the medical area, limping.  He had turned his ankle that morning tripping over his boots.  "What is that thing?" he demanded.  "And who the bloody hell are you?"

He fussed with his glasses' position for a second.  "Doctor Calvin Kavanagh.  I work with Xander."

"That figures."  He stared at the beast.  "What is that thing and did it come through the rift?"

"No, Harry's a very special friend.  Spike won him for me after Mommy got sick.  We raised him together."  She smiled at him.  "Harry, this is Owen.  He's my pack alpha so you have to be nice to him."

"It is *NOT* coming home with us," he complained.

She glared.  "She does tend to only drop by to play now and then anymore.  She's busy stalking and helping the slayers by eating bad demons."

He gaped.  "You're completely nutters.  I thought it was just me going insane but it's actually you and you're projecting, aren't you?"

"Hey!  You don't talk to young women that way!  Especially not if her brother hears and comes to beat you with one of his many pieces of artillery, one of his collection of swords, or one of the battle axes he has hanging all around his house!"

She smiled at the physicist.  "It's all right.  He's just confused.  Because if he was really that mean to me, you'd be seeing him in a body cast.  So calm down, Calvin.  Here, pet her since she adopted you as a puppy."

"What is all the shouting about?" Gwen complained as she walked in.  She stared at the dog.  "JACK!  SOMETHING'S COME FOR DAWN!"  She had *known* it would!

Jack walked in, looking casually unhurried.  "Why do you have that thing?" he asked.

"Spike won him for me in a kitten poker game."  She beamed.  "Daddy, this is Harry.  Harry, this is my sire."  Harry barked and came over to sniff him, giving him puppy looks until Jack petted her.  "See, she's very friendly, Owen and Gwen."

"I'm sure she is," Jack agreed.

"She said Spike trained him to help guard her," Owen said dryly.

"I'm sure he did," Jack agreed.  "Which is another good reason why Spike has to be staked.  Today."  Dawn pouted at him.  "What is Harry?"

"And why name her Harry?" Calvin asked.

"She has very pretty green eyes.  She's kinda mystical since she's from a hell dimension, and her homelife was hellish, and she's a hellhound, Dad."

"Ah," Calvin said.  "You're a Harry Potter fan."

"Yes I was.  I was fifteen, guys."  She whistled and Harry came loping back, jumping into her lap.  "Aww, I missed you too while you were out eating the bad, mean demons who might want to take me from my nest.  Did you get to meet the dragons?"  Harry gave her a look like she was insane so she pulled over a picture.  "Xander's pet, Armand, is a dragon."  The dog stared at it then at her, looking confused.  "We'll introduce you sometime soon."

Ianto leaned around the corner of the doorway.  "Is it safe?"  He spotted the dog when Gwen moved.  "What does it eat?"

"Bad demons and vampires," Jack said.  "Spike got it for her when Joyce got sick."

"Ah.  Well... I  have some sausage left over from lunch if he'd like that."

"She.  Someday she'll make me a puppy grandma."

"That's not exactly how I wanted to become a great-grandfather," Jack decided, walking off shaking his head.  "Owen, you all right?"

"He was mean to her," Calvin complained.

"He's a lot of hot air, kid.  Don't worry about Owen.  I'll kick his ass myself if he tries something."

Dawn snorted.  "Like I'd need the help."

"She is not coming home with us," Owen told her.

She stared at him.  "She's not coming home to live, Owen.  She'd get really bored and probably try to eat politicians or something."  Calvin burst out laughing at that, shaking his head.

"I don't want her where I eat, shit, or sleep," he said firmly.

Dawn smiled.  "Beyond my lap, she probably won't be."  She gave him a pointed look.  "Calm down before I turn you into a bunny rabbit for Buffy to pet."  She went back to cooing at her dog.

Jack came out of the office.  "Xander just called.  Her puppy there is off shift for the evening but if he gets caught by someone official we have to explain how to got to Cardiff."  He went back to take some more headache powder.  Ianto fed the poor beast and promptly needed a bath from all the licking he received.  Owen and Gwen looked disgusted but when Tosh came in, she got to coo over the puppy too, bringing the uptight one into it.  It would do him good anyway.  Then again, so would a weevil trying to attack him in Jack's opinion.  At least he was better now.  Had a firmer grasp on what was important to argue about.

Owen stomped in.  "Stick up for me here, Jack.  That thing has to be dangerous."

"You're sounding like Gwen," he pointed out dryly.  "Though I'm not sure that's the pet I'd want her to have either.  Maybe you two should go buy some fish or something?  I know that's a commitment, but I think you could handle fish."

Owen scowled.  "I'm not that shallow."

"I know you're not.  She's made you relax and have fun again."  He stared at him.  "I doubt her little wizardly hellhound down there will be staying for good, Owen."

"Thank you."  He went down to try to talk to her about getting some nice fish.  She squealed and hugged him around the dog.  Who lapped him too.  "Eurgh."  He pulled back and went to wipe his face off.  Ianto had taken a full shower and changed clothes.  Of course, when he reappeared the puppy came back over to play with him some more.  Ianto was never going to get free of possibly toxic mystical dog drool.


Radek looked around the meeting.  "Where is Calvin?"

"Harry took her newly adopted puppy to see the mommy dog," Xander said with a grin.

Radek stared at his boyfriend for a moment.  "Have you been eating the forest mushrooms that gave you strange dreams last time or perhaps we were in the pixie sticks again?"

"Dawn's dog, Harry, adopted him, and took him to see Dawn," he said with a smirk.

Radek sighed.  "What sort of dog can take a full grown man to Wales?"

"Harry's a hellhound."

Radek nodded, taking a drink of his coffee.  "I will brief him later, after it decides if he's a meal or not."  He got back to the briefing, mentally cackling and shaking his poor head.  Demons *and* Dawn?  He'd be insane when he got back.  He did show up by the end of the meeting, hellhound panting like a happy puppy and all.  Xander whistled and got the beast into his lap to pet while Calvin sat down to stare at him.  "Need time for a shower?" he asked.

"No, Harry was very nice to me.  She cuddled and loved on her human mother, she licked her friend nearly into needing to go shopping for something clean to wear from the drool.  She's very nice.  Much nicer than I thought a hellhound would be."

Xander grinned.  "Not all demons are bad, Calvin.  Some have existed nearly forever just because they exist.  They don't want to take over the world, kill people, anything like that.   Sometimes even the more deadly species pop up with one or two that are exceptional.  The same as humans do."  He petted her, talking in baby talk.  She barked and wagged her tail, snuggling into his lap.  Armand came in.  "Hey, Armand, this is Dawn's pet Harry.  She had her before she got Clover."

Armand climbed up onto the table, staring at the hellhound.  The hellhound stared back, looking at him oddly.  Armand was giving her a funny look too.  They sniffed each other carefully then Armand steamed a bit.  Harry yipped.  Armand batted her on the head.  Harry licked her and it was settled.  She was just visiting the nice lap that petted her.  Armand owned the lap.

"It is good that they worked out who owned you," Radek decided.  He gave Calvin his orders and he went to handle it. "Both pets must go now.  We need the petting one to work."  The hellhound yipped and Armand yawned, walking out waving his tail.  The dog followed.  They went to sun on a deck.   The dog sensed Calvin and yipped so Armand led them to a place near him.  They were both happy with that.  Armand looked up and made grumbling noises.

Nila appeared.  "What, Armand?  And aren't you cute?" she told the dog.  "What's your name?"  Armand moved the collar with a paw, letting her scan the tag.  "Ah, Harry.  Welcome to my city."  Armand grumbled.  "Mira is on Atlantis today, Armand."  Armand looked at Harry, who moaned at the lab Calvin was working in.  "I'm sure you can come back to check on him later, Harry.  I know John's helping in the labs today."  Armand roared and got up quickly.  She beamed them over.  That solved a small problem and Calvin would work without worrying.

John Sheppard looked down when the twinkling happened.  "Hi, Armand.  Who's your friend?"  Faith came charging in.  "Faith, is this a problem?"

"That's a hellhound," she said, glaring at it.  Harry yipped and wagged his tail, sitting down to stare at her.  "What the hell?  You're not supposed to be *nice*!"

"It's wearing a collar and tags," John said, squatting down to look at it.  The dog licked him.  "Thanks."  He read the tag.  "It belongs to Dawn."  The dog stood and turned to flip her tail up.  "Oh, it's a girl."  He patted her on the head as he stood up.  He looked at the slayer.  "You might call Dawn."

She did that, getting what she knew.  She came back and stared at it.  "It's harmless.  She's adopted Kavanagh as a puppy too."  Harry yipped in pleasure, wagging her tail again.

"Well, he's a bit evil," John said.  "I don't know.  Armand, ask Mira if she wants to sun with you."  He roared and Atlantis appeared, smiling and being down to pet him.

"Um, that skirt's a bit short," Faith warned.  "You're wearing panties short."  She squeaked and changed.  "Not a problem for me, just a warning, Atlantis.  Mira!" she bellowed.  She came running.  The hellhound gave her an astonished look and bowed to her.  Mira purred and rubbed against the hellhound's cheek.  "I think they want to sun, Mira."  She purred and walked off with her friend.  They found a sunny spot and got comfy.  Armand was on one side, the new friend was on the other and it was a happy day.

John and Faith shared a look.  "I'm not telling Rodney," she said, walking off.

John sighed, going to tell Rodney where Mira was.  In case he'd complain.  Which he would.  Of course.  He found Rodney getting coffee and pointed at the three sunning on the end of a pier.

"What is that?" Rodney demanded, taking a sip of coffee.

John waited until he had swallowed.  "A hellhound that Dawn adopted."  Rodney choked anyway.  "Faith said it's not dangerous."

Rodney glared at him.  "It has to be!"

"It adopted Kavanagh."

"That proves my theory of him."  He stomped out there.  Faith was watching and handed him her phone.  He called Dawn and got the information he wanted.  At least she wouldn't eat his precious one.  Still not a good friend for her.  He went to talk to the pets.  Harry pouted.  He sighed and walked off shaking his head.  Dawn had warped a hellhound into being an acceptable, nice pet.  Only Dawn.  Which was why he now had a hellhound shaped headache.  The doctor gave him some pills as soon as he walked in and he walked off again to go to the lab.  He'd be making sure she was thoroughly cleaned later on.  Not one drop of evil drool would mar her scales or fur.  Especially not her wings.  Then he would make sure she had a little cross on her collar so the hellhound couldn't come back.

John decided Rodney had taken it very well and left it alone.  Before he had to calm down the scientists after Rodney threw a fit.  These new ones weren't as tough as the ones that had went to Nila's city.


Nila and Atlantis appeared in the office on the main base, both pouting.  They had sent ahead a projector a few weeks back.

"Those are very chic outfits, ladies," General Landry praised with a smile.  "Are we having a problem?"

"We need our people back together.  My best people are on Nila and hers need Rodney and others very often."

"I would miss my geeks," Nila told him.  "It would be best if we were back together."

"Having Atlantis there could endanger her," Landry said.  "Someone would find her and we want to keep her hidden."

"Some people do know because of the invasion.  They think we're part of UNIT's overhead fleet," Atlantis told him.

"I saw that and got chewed out.  Really, you two can beam to each other."

"Yes but it takes too long," Nila said.  "We're having to beam back for medical as well.  Plus our rooms are still very tiny.  People are jealous that Xander gets to sleep comfortably."

He sighed.  "We still can't have you two that close together."

"I can move closer," Atlantis offered.  "Not very close and linked again but within easier distance."  She checked then looked at him again.  "I can move next to her."  She put up a virtual diagram.  "This would work for us.  If we had to, we could hop across that small breach."

Nila looked and shifted it.  "The new construction crew presently has a scaffold there."  She beamed.  "If we really wanted to, at some future time we could extend the new docking center between the two.  That way we could make a whole new medical bay there that would be bigger and easier to use for the non ATA carriers."

He considered it.  "I'll take it up with Jack and the others.  There is the matter of the budget, ladies, and trying to keep Atlantis hidden for a bit longer."

"It will fail eventually," Atlantis said.

"Yes but we're hoping for it to last for a few more years."

She pouted worse.  "I would like to be near my child and they need us desperately.  Especially Rodney.  Yet I need him too.  Unless I clone him...."  The general shuddered, making his chair move.  "Beaming him that often is going to keep him from sleeping so he'll be more grumpy.  Which means the hellhound that has adopted Dr. Kavanagh will decide to adopt him too."

The general shuddered again.  "A hellhound?  Harris can't stop it?"

"It is Dawn's puppy," Nila said with a smile.  "Harry has adopted Calvin because he needed someone to be a mother to him again.  He has learned a lot since he was kicked off Atlantis the last time."

"Yes, he has.  It is nearly shocking how better he is," Atlantis agreed, smiling at him.  "I could move closer."

He sighed.  "I'll talk about it with Jack."  They pouted.  "Go do that to him."  They shook their heads.  "I'll send him a projector later."  They beamed and patted him on the head before leaving.  He groaned, sending him a message and the projector.   He would let the AI's pout at Jack all they wanted.  That way they didn't do it to him again.  He went to get something to eat so he could forget the pout.  Then he'd talk to Harris about that hellhound.  It probably wasn't good for the city.  Especially not to get too attached.




John Sheppard looked out at the newest part of the Ancient/Future City.   There was a new bridge between them.  It was the new medical bay.  Larger and more packed with doctors that could handle things.  The Marshall Islands had ceded that small atoll to the program for their use.  The main base had been moved here from Colorado.  The gate malfunction that had sent the whole mountain, including NORAD, out of phase with reality for sixteen hours had caused a huge problem.  The main base's section of the city was behind them.  It connected the back of Atlantis to Nila.

Atlantis could still come free if she needed to battle in space.  All the bridges retracted back into the docks.  It was a good city.  It was also a good jog from Atlantis to Nila. If he jogged from his room to Nila it was nearly a two mile track to the main base's area.  Some of the people on base had bought small boats to fish from too.  It was good.  A good life, a good community.  The scientists could huddle together and smack the new ones into better behavior.

It was amazing that Kavanagh had taken a leadership role to straighten some of them out.  Of course, if they bothered him he sicced Harry on them.  Rodney was still laughing about him being adopted as long as he kept Harry away from Mira.  Armand would cuddle up with them both.  They had all adopted a sunning spot on top of the medical building.  Harry had somehow gotten knocked up and was busy sunning herself spread out like a woman in a bikini.  Xander was being a proud uncle to the puppies that were coming someday soon.  Kavanagh was growling about it.  Rodney thought it was adorable.

The last time someone had thrown a fit, which had been Rodney, Xander had promised to start planting that screwing plant around all three areas if they didn't stop.  He'd had a migraine but they all stopped arguing for a few hours.  They had drugged Xander's headache and let him nap it off while they went back to arguing over the botany lab.  When he had gotten up, he had kicked them all out of the lab and thrown out the bad plants they had bred.  Some had taken root on the atoll.  They were fairly scary too.  They all avoided the Pegasus plants.  The guys that hadn't been with them had laughed about dangerous plants....not anymore!  Not after one had to be pulled out of the plant after being eaten.

He checked the schedule.  The off duty guys were having a party in the area between the three cities.  Rodney had let an immature AI from Nila go to the new base area.  She had been very happy to have her own city.  She wore jeans, a tight t-shirt, had her hair up in a ponytail, and chewed bubble gum.  Faith had been a bad influence on her.  They liked her though.  She had sense.  She would yell at people doing stupid things in the lab to alert others to it.  She had made Xander make Daniel an office like his was so she could hang out in there and read the books.  The general was exasperated but oh well.  She won because she'd shut things down and they couldn't remove her without reprogramming everything.

John got changed out of his pajama pants and stretched for his jog, heading off.  Rodney was up and fussing in the creation lab.  Radek was yelling back.  Xander was such a bad influence on him sometimes.  The botany lab was quiet, because they knew the botany AI had orders to call Xander to yell at them if they screwed up again.  The rest of them were stumbling toward coffee for their morning meeting.

John shook his head, heading for the bridge that connected them to the base.  He jogged past some of the Marines getting ready for their own runs, nodding at them.  He kept going until he got back to his room and took a shower.  Then he went to find breakfast and his own morning meeting.  Some of the new soldiers were having problems with the scientists.  Some of the scientists were very pouty so he understood it but it was him fixing it or letting Xander have them.  They really wanted to let him do it instead of letting Xander fix it.

Most of them did look very oddly at Xander.  They hated mandatory bootcamp.  It was either him or Xander and they hated Xander more.  So it was good.  His geeks were settled.  The new geeks were all on Nila.  He walked into the meeting hall.  "Good morning, my people," he said.

"Morning, sir," they replied.

John looked and saluted.  "General."

"At ease, John.  Just listening in so I can avoid the griping at the Mountain and on Nila."

"I heard the new ones were being pouty."  He looked at his people.  "As a reminder, we have monthly requalifying this weekend.  All soldiers have it, even if you don't like it.  All scientists have to do their parts on Sunday.  If you don't, you go to Nila and are under Radek and Xander."  They all slumped down.  "Your choice."  He smiled.  "As a matter of protocol, is Harry ready to pop yet?"

"She started to push out puppies last night," Doctor Keller told him, smiling.  "They're slimy even after their first baths.  Kavanagh is cooing and some of us were creeped out but it's fine."

"Okay.  I'm expecting she has two dragon doulas?"

"Yes."  She smiled.  "Mira is cooing at them.  Armand is looking at them strangely but he's just roaring at the people coming near them."

"That's fine."  He looked around.  "Do not let the party tonight get out of hand.   Or else you will be on Nila doing scientist herding."  They all nodded at that.  "Any other events I have not heard about?"

Jack shifted and held up a hand.  "The president is coming to visit and tour tomorrow.  I'd suggest we not have hangovers, people."

"Thanks for the warning.  Is Harris going to be underneath the cities again?"

"Probably on the atoll dealing with the plants that eat everyone but him," Jack said dryly.  "Second note.  Zelenka and Lorne are both going on vacation."

John nodded.  "Is Harris?"

"No clue," he admitted.

"I'll mention to them that they should discuss that then."  He looked around.  "Any other notes?"  No one said anything.  "Then have a good, safe day people.  If you're in an area that he'll want to tour, make sure you clean it up a bit please."  They left.  He looked at the general.  "Does he even know?" he asked quietly.

"No.  I think they haven't mentioned it."  He walked out to talk to Evan.  "Lorne."  He stopped and saluted.  "Quit, kid.  Vacation?"

"Um... yes, sir."


"Oh!"  He nodded.  "I'll talk to him today."

"Good idea."  He walked off to tour things.  Some things clearly needed to be handled before the president got there.


Radek looked up from packing, seeing the pouty, horrified look.  "I am being nagged by my mother," he said.

"About me?"

"She wanted to meet you."  He looked over as Evan came out of the bathroom.  "You as well?"

"Yeah."  He looked at Xander.  "Why aren't you packing?"

"Um...  I ...."

Evan stared at him.  "It's not fun going on vacation without you, Xander.  Beyond that, his mother wants to meet us both and I want to go to dinner with you somewhere beyond a caf."

Xander relaxed.  "Really?"

"Now."  He pointed at the closet.  "Pack something naughty as well.  I've got the motorcycle out of storage."

"How are all three of us going to fit on a motorcycle?" Radek asked.

"You can sit in my lap," Evan said with a smirk.   "Xander's got the spot behind me first."  He looked at Xander, who was staring.  "Have you never taken a vacation?"

"Beyond the aborted road trip?"


Radek stared at him.  "When was the last time you took time off?"

"I was trying to get home with the blippy and I stayed in Athens for a bit because I was tired."  He moved closer.  "I have no idea what I'd do meeting your families."

"We're meeting his family, not mine," Evan told him.  Xander pouted.  "I might call."  He pulled him closer.  "Pack."  Xander nodded, grabbing a bag from the closet to pack things into.  Radek huffed and unpacked, refolding most things and choosing other clothes.  Evan grinned, packing his own bag.

"It will be cold at night," he reminded them.  They packed a few sweaters.  Radek smiled and helped them pack things that his mother would appreciate seeing them in.  Then they got beamed to the mainland.  Evan got them into a cab, to the airport, and then onto their flight.  They'd be back in a week; Evan could take them on long rides around the city, make them eat themselves sick, and take some downtime when no one was watching him.  He'd bet Xander would like being on the back of his bike.


Dawn sighed as the last case wrapped up, leaning back in her chair, muttering in another language.  Owen laughed but she shrugged it off.  He helped her up, staring at her.  "I'm starved," she told him.

"I can tell that.  You've lost weight again."  He walked her out.  "Team night?"

"Must we?" she whispered.

"No."  He smirked.  "The buggerer and Ianto are going to the pub."

"Feed me then club with me?" she offered, moving closer.

"Feed you so much you finally sleep?" he teased with an evil smirk.  "Of course I will."  She beamed at him and let him walk her out to the car.  They ran into Ianto and Jack outside.  "Have fun at the pub," Own quipped.

"Not a chance.  It's time for food," Ianto said.

"That's my idea too," Dawn quipped.

Owen smirked.  "C'mon, we can fix dinner at your place."  They got in together and headed to Dawn and Jack's building.  A lot of food could be made between the two kitchens.  Of course, neither house had anything edible.  They'd been in the hub for the last three days straight.  So they ordered out, collapsed on a couch, and fell asleep to the movie of the night.  It was peaceful for once.  Owen was one of the last ones awake so he hauled Dawn up and to their bed.  They could be sleeping comfortably for hours.  The older couple could have the couch and hurt their backs.

Around 3am, Owen woke up to a moan and glared at the door, then at his girlfriend. "It's clear you're Jack's daughter," he taunted, stopping her from her sleepy stress relief.  He could do that much better.  And since Ianto was groaning in multiple keys...they wouldn't mind too much if he debauched her some more.

The End.

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