The Incidences of The Blippy Dohickey 12: Back At The Starting Point Again.
Cam appeared on Atlantis, looking around. The others appeared behind him. Xander with his bag. Xander checked and pouted. "They said it was mean of you."
"So?" He pulled out the painting. "There, so someone can cut it up."
He smirked at that. "Put it back." Xander did that. "We should probably call home." He checked his watch. "What time is it?"
Chuck looked at them. "Three days after Colonel Sheppard disappeared from that same spot," he said. "You worried us sick! Was it ancients?"
"Something like that," Xander admitted. "As old but not as technological."
"Okay. The General wanted told if you guys reappeared."
"Let us get medical checks and we'll hike back there," John promised. Rodney came storming in. "We're fine."
"I doubt that! You're covered in dust... Xander?" he breathed.
"Yeah. I know, Landry's special project took for fucking ever."
Rodney stared at him. "Get checked over so I can yell at you for worrying us!"
"Yes, Mean Uncle Rodney." He walked off. "Guys, let's let the doctors do the pokey thing." They groaned but headed to the infirmary. "Docs, we're back."
"What were you doing!" Doctor Keller demanded.
"Well, let's see. Landry decided I could go save Cam by going on my back, then we found some people to train us a bit better." He stared at her.
"Excuse me? You had sex while gone?"
"Not fully by choice but it sure beats being killed," he said dryly. He hopped up onto a table. "Now, can we get this done so I can go bitch, whine, complain, and let Rodney rant so he feels better?"
She got a scanner to run over them. She stared at one result then glared at Cam. "Really."
"That was relief, and private," he said firmly. She growled. "I'd never hurt Xander. The Ori fleet commander might if they didn't blow him away."
"I did do a good job of taking that whole planet out," Xander decided. "Started a zealot panic, which started a riot." The ones who had been with him smirked at him.
Cam nodded. "You did do good with that, Xander. How's your reserves?"
"About eighty percent. I need native energy to help with the rest." They all nodded at that. She released them with a grumble. He stared at her. "Please don't report that?" he asked quietly. "He helped me a hell of a lot."
"Fine. I won't."
"Thank you." He left, dropping the bag in his room. He looked around then at Rodney when they ran into him. "Where's Armand?"
"With Daniel. Landry wanted him somewhere safer."
"Hmm." They walked through the gate to Midway and then to the SGC. "Armand!" Xander bellowed. He came running. Xander looked at Landry. "I'm not doing that again. I don't care who's going to die." He picked up his dragon, petting him. "Hi. I missed you." The dragon cooed and leaned on his shoulder, snuffling him. He snuffled Cam's hair, getting a pet back.
"The main objective was destroyed in space, during the battle," Landry said. Cam handed over the papers. "Thank you, boys."
"Never again, sir. I agree with Xander. I may love you guys and this job but never again."
"I had no idea you were going to be...."
Cam held up a hand. "Respectfully, sir, you knew you were sending Xander up to do that. Which was causing him problems. He had burnout over that too. Thankfully I'm a good person to help him." He looked at his team when they walked in. "There's one Ori planet down. Xander caused a panic when they all got visions during a religious celebration. They rioted." Sam Carter smirked at that. "You can go on the next one, Carter." He looked at the General, who was looking disturbed. "Sorry, General, but I'm not in the mood. Really." He petted the dragon again. "Also, we ran into a long dead civilization." He looked at Xander. "Were they remnants?"
"Temporal spell left them there and out of time so that anyone who came to them would be taught. That's why the six months was only three days on Atlantis."
"I liked that," John admitted. "It was good training." He patted Xander on the back. "I'm glad your battle rage state is a bit less berserker and a bit more calm and reasonable." Xander smirked at him. "I know. It helped." He patted him again. "So, General, anything interesting happen while we were gone?"
"Where did you go?"
"Their gate is destroyed," Jon admitted. "We hiked back to look at it. It was broken." Xander nodded. "Your doing?"
"Then how?" Cam asked.
"Oh. Okay. The magic stuff still freaks me out a bit," he decided.
The general stared. "Go to the debriefing room." They walked that way. He followed. He sat down in his seat, looking at them. "All right. Let's start from the mission that went slightly off."
"No, sir, the person who helped me get into his household knew he wanted a pleasure slave," Cam told him. "He said you knew it too."
"I would not...." Landry started. Xander stared him down. "You could have taken him out."
"Not really. They would've realized it. Especially with Adria on the planet." He put the dragon into his lap. "Thankfully the program pissed them off enough to get him out of the house. We put his staff down for a long nap in a safe and secure vault. Then we started to ransack things."
Cam tossed over the USB drive from Xander's stash. "The library." Daniel snatched it to look over. "Xander got vindictive and took souvenirs." Xander smiled sweetly. "Including the gou'ald hand device." Sam moaned at that. "It only bruised." Too many times and he would have nightmares about that.
"It's wearing out of power," Xander said, tossing that down from his back pocket. She got it to look at. "And just in case we think you're missing out on the presents, we did bring everything we had from his desk on their troop movements, staffing of their fleet, and all that," Xander finished. Cam pointed at the papers. He leaned back, petting his dragon.
"That is a lot of information," the general said calmly. "Then what happened?"
"The riots started, Ellis and the ship were out of orbit so we took a small statue I had noticed had power stored in it and went to their home world, general. That's where we were training for six months."
"They decided to steal us so there were warrior kings, as they put it, sir, in the battle," John added.
Jon nodded. "It was nice we found people who're tougher than Teal'c and Ronon together, sir. I learned a lot for all the time that I spent on my back in the dirt."
"Indeed, they are very good warriors," Teal'c agreed. "I learned new techniques myself and some on how to train better."
Ronon nodded. "They were tougher than I am and got Xander's battle rage calmed down to a more reasonable point."
Xander nodded. "Taught me how to use the sticks Teyla was teaching me before. Showed her a few things." She nodded at that. "I got to rebuild a bit more of my reserves as well."
"That's a good thing to have happen. Are these people going to be allies?"
"They're stuck in a temporal bubble. If they came out of it, they'd probably turn to dust because they haven't really been there since before the Ori came to wipe out the rest of their planet. They've been in there since Camelot was thriving."
"Oh I see." He looked over the papers. "This is very useful information."
"I was hoping so, sir," Cam agreed. "You know, I don't ache as much as I did the first day."
"Training is like that," John agreed. "I learned a lot on how to use the skills I have, sir. It was good to take that extra time after they stole us. They knew we'd be on the forefront of the war with the Ori and the wraith." Everyone nodded. "Speaking of, we want Harris and his team permanently. They seem to fit better on Atlantis because our linguists don't make him do all their work. He can also sense the wraith. The Genii are scared to death of pissing him off thanks to the last episode. And we really like the goofball."
"Awww, thank you," Xander cooed.
"Welcome." He looked at the head general. "When we get rid of the wraith, we're going to be bringing Atlantis back here, right?"
"That is the plan," he agreed. "If McKay can solve the power problem."
"Those asshole ancients we were hosting taught him how to make safe ZPM's and with ours it's very safe and useable. He did a test lift-off and it went well, didn't drain the power hardly at all."
"Fine," he agreed. "Are you sure? Harris has ties down here like Summers."
Daniel coughed. "Sir, she'd be safer on Atlantis. Especially since she's learning from Xander's books. By the way, I took the smut in Latin from her, Xander." Xander shrugged. "Fine, but still."
"It's fine, Daniel. Not like she doesn't know. How's her family?"
"Buffy's got 'I lived too long' syndrome," Carter told him. Xander scowled. "Her mom's still in ill health. The chemotherapy wrecked her immune system, which it does to most people, but she's in relatively stable shape. She caught a cold and ended up in the hospital for two weeks." Xander nodded once at that. "Buffy did ask that you take custody of Dawn because she and her mother could not handle it yet."
"Which means you can't go to Atlantis," Landry finished. "She's not cleared to be on a classified project, no matter how bright she is."
"And the fact they were hiding things in the sister of a slayer. Yes of course I'll take Dawn if I can. However we can work things out."
"How did they do that?" Landry asked.
"They were trying to protect it," Xander told him. "There's not a whole lot safer places from an insane goddess than a slayer's home."
"I like the mouthy little brat too," Cam said. "Even if she does think all pilots are gay."
"There may be another way," Xander admitted. "At least until we can get Atlantis back here."
"How would you move your office?" Daniel asked.
"The same way I moved it last time. I'll pack it up, carry it up there on the ship, then unpack it in a closet they find me." He shrugged. "By the way, I'm finding mentions of another mythical city, an older one." Daniel stiffened. "I have no idea and I was working on it while I healed."
"If you do, I want to know the minute you have anything on it," John ordered.
"Of course, big brother."
"Thank you." He looked at the others then back at the general. "There's not many ATA carriers who might be able to activate it if we do find one."
Xander nodded. "Me, Dawn. Does Faith have it?"
"Lightly," Daniel admitted. "I'd like to see it too, Xander."
"Is my laptop still up there?"
"Yes, Faith guarded all your stuff until you came back. She said you came back from things she thought was hell, that you could come back from this too." Xander grinned and let out a one-sided shrug. Dawn was let in and flung herself at Xander, getting hugged back.
"I want to learn how to handle things," she said, looking at him. "I know Mom's sick again. I know Buffy's got issues."
He kissed her on the head. "I think I can work something out as a preliminary training area." She beamed. "It's overseas."
"Some." He gave her a cuddle and Armand let her into his lap for now. He just sat on top of both of them. She petted the dragon. "So, I need to find anything else about that." They all nodded. "We need to find a way to kill off the wraith for good. Then we can move Atlantis somewhere safer. Teyla, Ronon?"
"I do not know," she admitted. "My people are there."
Ronon shrugged. "There's not much for me outside of the wraith."
"Ronon, this is Dawn. Once she joins us, I want you to help me train her. Teal'c agreed to act as her protector when I'm not local."
He stared at her then at him. "She's adorably young."
"She's almost sixteen. That's the lesser stage of adulthood age. You can drive, have sex in some states, date, all that stuff. In two years she'd be a full adult."
"I can see why you would worry. She is pretty, wiggly, and wears tight clothing like Faith does." Dawn stuck her tongue out. "That does not make you seem more innocent." Xander beamed at him. "I can work on her self-defense when she becomes local to us."
"Cool. Sam, Daniel, where did you guys want to do her education?"
"The US is getting more dangerous," Sam said quietly.
"What about... Wales? Or England if I can keep the asshole Watchers away from her?"
"That might work. There's a good college up there, some excellent schools," Daniel admitted. Dawn squealed and leaned over to hug him too. "We want you to be able to follow Xander's impressive footsteps."
"Of course I will. Would Mom agree, Xander?"
He pulled out his phone to call her. "Joyce, Xander. Of course I want her but small issue. I'm going to be out of the US on a classified project for about six months but I do have a way. A very good friend could use her skills I do believe. It's safer. It's in Wales. Yes, as in by England. They do a lot of the same things and he could use a big brother moment, plus there's an excellent school that Daniel and them can work with. Would it be okay until I get back? Being debriefed and I'd introduce them myself. Please?" He grinned.
"Definitely. Jack loathes the Council. Thanks, Mom. Feel better?" he begged quietly. "I'll try to stay out of trouble and away from bad girls if you try to get better." She laughed but it was weak and she agreed. "Cool. I'll bring her back for a bit then over there. I can do that. Why are you in our hole of a hospital?" He groaned. "I should kick their asses too. That's nice of them, yeah. We'll be there soon." He hung up. "She agreed as long as the Watchers could not get you. I don't think you'll have a problem." She hugged him around the neck. "That's my Dawnstar." She grinned. "General?"
"Permission granted. I'd like to see her safely somewhere as well, Harris. Then perhaps we should talk?"
Xander looked at him. "No talking needed, General. My ass only goes to ones I like from now on. I'm tired of being a whore for things I need now and then. It got old back in Rome. I don't want this one showing up pouting and I really want someone who wants me for more than what my ass can give them." He stood up. "Going to see Ianto. Armand?" Dawn cuddled him. He took her to visit her mom, then to Wales. He appeared, looking around. "I still say you guys need paint."
Jack came out of his new office, staring at him. "Are you giving tours now?"
"Not quite. This is Dawn Summers."
"Hi," he said, waving at her.
She smiled and waved. "Why does your office have protections written in Ancient?"
He looked then at her and smirked. "How much do you know of that language, young lady?"
"Some. I'm learning from Doctor Jackson and them. I'm going to follow Xander."
"But I'm going to be wayyyy far away for the next six or seven months," Xander said bluntly. He stared Jack down. "She'll be enrolled in a local school of Daniel's choosing."
He came down the stairs. "What else can you do?"
"I've watched my sister hunt every night."
"Which is why you'll never be a watcher," Xander told her. She looked at him. "You couldn't handle the field watcher position, Dawn, so you'd end up being a research watcher." She nodded that was true. "Which means watching girls that you come to care for go out every night of their lives." She shuddered and shook her head. "So, liking this better?"
"Much better." She smiled at Jack. "I need someone to shop with me and to teach me things that I can't learn in school but I might need following him."
"She is learning a lot of languages," Xander offered. "She doesn't care if you and Ianto get it on in front of her because she'd probably sit there and watch. She's got my dirty mind. She was reading my Latin smut the other day."
"It's good she's open minded," he said dryly.
"She's seen her sister hunt. She has very little self defense. You need someone to handle the office while you're off handling things and she's used to the weird since her sister's a slayer on the hellmouth. All I ask is that you take care of her for me, teach her how to handle things because she's going to the SGC, and you guys act like big brothers."
Jack considered it. "We do need someone to watch the computers."
"You can't be serious," Gwen complained. "She's underage!"
"Sweetie, my sister hunts down demons. Has since she was my age. She and this one here have faced *so* many apocalypses." She looked at Jack. "Can you keep the idiot Council from me?" she asked quietly.
"They think we're imbeciles," Ianto said from his desk.
She smiled at him. "I feel the same way about them." She looked at Jack. "I'll try my best not to be a problem. Maybe now and then I'll beg for help shopping. Gay men are supposed to be able to shop."
"Ask Ianto for that," he said with a smirk.
"That's fine, I can do that."
"Won't your mother mind?" Gwen demanded.
"Maybe, if she weren't laid low right now by an infection since the chemo lowered her immune system." Gwen shrank back. "I'm not the usual fashionable girl, ma'am. I have sense. I've seen combat, even though I was too young to participate. I've been kidnaped, I know why people would take me for power. Frankly, I'm safer over here because you guys only have the idiots at the Watcher Council over here."
"Now and then we get aliens," Jack admitted.
She looked at him. "I saw that." He grinned. "Good job." He beamed. "I can make brownies in reward and handle things like tracking duties. The guys who came to help my sister showed me how to use their systems for location updates and things."
"I think we can," he told her then looked at Xander. "You sure? It's dangerous."
"She's from the hellmouth, Jack. She had to stake a vamp after walking out on the porch one night. The demons all want to take care of her or kidnap her. She's a lot safer over here, aliens, Watchers, and all."
"I can agree with that. That town's a cesspool of problems. We have a rift, Miss Summers. It's a temporal and sometimes dimensional rift. Things come through." He pointed up at the pterodactyl.
She smiled and waved. "Willow said you were going to eat her if she fucked up." She smiled at Jack. "Do you guys have demons?"
"No. We do have some harmful species that we capture."
She scowled, hands going to her hips. "You don't torture them like the Initiative did, right?"
"No. We do lock them up to keep people safe. We don't experiment, torture, or have fun with them." She relaxed and nodded. "How is Spike?"
"Moping over my sister's period." Jack burst out laughing. "Yes, I'm still blunt. Vala enjoyed me this way."
"I can enjoy that as well." He looked at Ianto. "Do you think we can be surrogate big brothers for six months or so?"
"I think we can manage and perhaps make her skirts a bit longer."
Dawn looked down then at him. "What's wrong with my skirt?"
"It's fairly short," he pointed out.
"Yeah, because boys like them that way."
"Yes, but those sort, you don't want."
"Why?" she asked.
"They want panty and pussy points," Xander said bluntly, staring at her. "Your sister went out in clubbing clothes and half the times they wanted to rip it off her. Have some taste and learn how to be subtly enticing. That way you don't look slutty but you get more play. Classy women are chased and wooed. Sluts are bedded in the backseat of a car."
He smirked. "Teal'c will be a good big brother. So will Ronon."
She sighed. "Oh, please! I'll never get a date." Jack smirked and nodded at that. "Damn. Did you date at my age?"
"He's a slut," Ianto told her. "He dated many things."
"Ah. My sister's one of those. She dates vamps."
Jack patted her on the shoulder. "We'll get along just fine, Dawn. Tell me what Xander painted around my door?" She muttered it and he burst out laughing but Armand and Xander had left. "I need to spank him someday."
She grinned. "We just want him to date better bad girls."
"How is he doing on that?"
She lost the smile. "The general there just asked him to save that nice guy Cam by going on his back in Cam's place."
"Shite," Ianto muttered. "No wonder he looked upset."
Jack nodded. "I can agree with that. So, what can you do?" he asked her.
"I'm a pretty good spy. I can handle a computer and Daniel promised if I passed physics, I could learn hacking from Rodney. I'm doing good learning languages and self defense. Teal'c was making sure of it."
"She's still underage, we can't put her in the field," Gwen complained, coming over. Dawn got her off her feet and out of breath from hitting the floor. "How did you...."
"Teal'c. He knew every woman needs to know how to defend herself. Especially the pretty, young ones." She smiled. Ianto burst out laughing, shaking his head. "Do you really think this skirt is too short?" she asked Jack.
"I don't usually wear skirts but yeah, I think so. Especially for Wales since we have weather and your part of California doesn't."
"Oooh, weather? Like rain and snow?"
"Definitely." He called Xander's cellphone. "She needs stuff to set her up." He hung up and a few minutes later Ianto's computer beeped with a new email. He looked it over. "Housing, food, and clothing allowance. Now, what can you do with a communications system, young lady?"
She looked it over and turned it on, including the trackers. She smiled at him. "I can call and pass messages too."
"We can teach you the rest," he decided. "By the time you go, you can be our liaison to the SGC and possibly UNIT."
"You guys were really mean when you got Willow."
"She deserved it." Jack smiled but stared her down. "Will you have such problems?"
"No, I have a coven on my ass thanks to him." She gave him a look back. "Beyond that, I don't need more power. I have plenty, thanks. Unless you can introduce me to Draco Malfoy? I'm in my bad boy phase." Ianto shook his head, walking off cackling now. She beamed. "At least I won't be following my sister's lead and screwing the vampire with a soul that went bye-bye because of said screwing. He's really broody and emo is just *not* my type."
"You and I will get along just fine, Dawn," Jack decided. He walked her off to get a full history. It wasn't much but yeah, he knew that already from questioning Willow. She was very observant so she could tell him about the former Initiative people and their new unit too. He knew Martha Jones hated them. Ianto came back with coffee and Dawn nearly swooned on him. "I don't share," he told her, taking his own coffee.
"Hey, my sister had gay porn that I watched, I'm all for being gay. You, Xander, whoever. It's all good," she said, taking a sip and moaning. "Do you have pilot porn like Buffy does?"
"I don't need it," Jack assured her. "I have Ianto." Who smiled slightly.
She gave him a pat on the arm. "Way to go. You got a medal in the man olympics. Help me find a bad boy I'll enjoy?"
"Not a chance we'll agree to have you debauched for less than the possible end of the world."
"Shoot." She shrugged. "Maybe introduce me so I can drool and stare then?"
"Maybe," Jack agreed, walking them off to talk about some of things they had. She could translate some things Tosh hadn't gotten around to. Xander was being sneaky in her education.
Xander walked into his office and pulled everything into a temporary trunk. "There," he said, looking around his closet.
"Did you finally quit or did they fire you for being so flaming and a pain in the ass?" one of the other linguists said snidely.
"Neither. I'm going to Atlantis." She growled. "Maybe if you did your work you could go too." Daniel walked up to them. "Problems? You don't look happy."
"I'm perfectly happy. I'm going with you to look over this new mythical city stuff." He looked at the other linguist. "While we're gone, try to get something done for a change." She huffed off.
"She asked if I got fired for being flaming."
Daniel said something that basically translated as 'let her fuck a goat' in Chinese. Xander replied the goat would be pitiful for years and would need to be put down in Korean. Daniel nodded. "True. I'd pity it." He went to his office. "You have to pack your room."
"Going." He went to do that, floating his trunk after him so no one bothered it. So he had two trunks. Plus his carry-on bag with shampoo and stuff since he had forgotten the bathroom.
"I want that skill," Daniel complained as he packed.
"I want a way to travel like a tardis so I don't have to worry about packing."
"If you build one, you're taking me," Daniel said.
"Sure, boss." He put his trunks down and helped Daniel gather what he might need, including a few books he knew came from his own library. Daniel smiled at that. "The ship?"
"Ellis is in orbit waiting on us to pack." He grabbed some clothes and followed. Xander let him put his bags on top of his trunks and they got floated to the gate room. He saluted the general. "I'll be back in a few weeks."
"Call me if Adria shows up," Xander told him, shaking his hand. "I'll blip back." That got a nod. He put his comm earpiece in. "Colonel Ellis, Harris and Jackson to beam up with a small pile of stuff." They were beamed up without the stuff. That got sent up afterward. Armand got beamed up when he ran in. Xander looked at him. "I thought you were with me."
"From the look on his mouth, he was stealing hershey's from the botanists again," Daniel joked.
Colonel Ellis walked into the beaming room to meet them. "Harris, I'm sorry we were pulled away."
"I'm not fully. It was good to go train with those others." He shook his hand. "Can we bunk down?"
"Of course. Hi, Armand. Will you have an upset stomach?"
"As long as he hasn't been eating wood he should be fine. If he does, don't feed him pepto."
"I heard." He led them to their quarters. "You know it takes a week."
"That's fine. I could use the rest," Xander admitted. He got smiled at. "We're cool. Thank you, Colonel."
"Welcome." He left the two super geeks alone to talk since they were sharing a bunk room.
Daniel looked at Xander. "Are you okay with the last mission?"
"No, I feel pretty used. Landry knew I was going for that." He tossed his comm earpiece on Daniel's bed. "I guess he decided once a concubine to save your life, the next time's easier or something."
"I don't think he thought of it that way, Xander. Just that you could handle it if it went bad."
Xander shrugged. "Cam and I spent a lot of time talking."
"I noticed you're happier. Smiles are brighter and go to your eyes again." He gave him an impulsive hug. "It'll be okay. I promise." He laid down. "Take a nap?"
"Yeah, it's a good time for a nap." He and Armand curled up together. He had missed his baby dragon while he was gone.
"Are Jack's team going to be able to handle Dawn?"
"Yup and I think she'll get a lot of the practical experience she'll need without going military that way."
"That's good." He shifted, watching Xander curl up tighter. He got up and went to sit beside him. Cam had told him it helped his nightmares. He petted the boy's head and it helped him drift off. Yeah, this had to be handled. Landry couldn't have meant for Xander to use his ass for currency, right? Or Cam's?
Xander smiled as his earpiece connected with Atlantis' main channel and Rodney chewing someone a new one. "Fine, I won't bring more books with me," he shot back. Rodney spluttered and told him to get down there. "We're nearly there. Ellis is driving, not me. I don't have the experience to drive something this massive." He hung up and they gathered things back together so they could be beamed down. He smiled at Ellis. "See, I'm not a bad backseat driver, no matter what Caldwell said."
"He didn't, kid. You guys ready?" He checked the floating furniture and dragon. "Good." He beamed Daniel down. Then Xander and his trunks and the dragon last. Then he went to have a cup of real coffee for a bit. The kid had been having nightmares for days.
Xander landed and looked at his trunks than dragon appeared. "Daniel, your stuff all here?"
"I think so." He looked at the staring people. "What?" Sheppard got beamed down with Jon and Ronon. "We thought you guys came back through the gate."
"Midway was having power problems. So we spent the trip being bored while you two rested."
"I did need a nap. So, Major Lorne, I need somewhere I can totally corrupt into my office."
"We're not sure if you can do that up here, Xander."
"I can at least try."
"Sure. Let me look it over. You still have the same room." Xander grinned. "Doctor Jackson, are you staying?"
"For a bit, Major. Xander thinks he found mentions of another city."
"Wonderful. I wonder if they have wraith there." He found him a room. "Here you go," he said, coming down to hand him the slip. "All yours, Doctor Jackson." Daniel smiled at him. "Have a good rest."
"We slept the whole trip," Daniel admitted. He took his bags and went to find his room with Jon following to talk to him.
Xander saw the unhappy looks. "What?" he asked.
"You asked to be switched off the main base?" Woolsey asked.
"Yes. Because my ass isn't currency." Woolsey gasped. "So I need an office." He smiled.
"I'm sure we can find an empty one. What did you find on a new city?"
"I found dual mentions of different versions of Alexandria before it was a city. Then they started calling it Nila. They said it was sunk as well but I'm trying to figure out where."
"That's fine. Being here means you are under my authority." Xander pointed at John and then Rodney. "No, I'm the head of this base."
"The offer still stands for me to translate things from Bermuda. I'm not going to change who I am for anyone, Woolsey. Deal with me as I am, caffeine addiction and all." He walked around them. "Let me unpack in my room. Atlantis has a few funny areas about magic."
"No magic on the city," Woolsey ordered.
Xander looked at him then snorted. "I have more books than some college libraries. I'm going to set back up my office so I can get into them when I need them. Like on the main base, feel free to give me a closet and I'll make due."
"No magic and no blipping."
Xander stared at him. "Woolsey, I'm here because I traveled that way and because I can do magic. I'm one of the few who can win an all out argument with Adria." He shuddered. "I don't use it for bad things, even when you piss me off, but I won't allow myself to be fucked with. I'll gladly go back on the ship and hit Bermuda. That's not a problem."
"I don't want that stuff up here."
"Too late." He walked off. "I'm still listed as a political conscript. That means the IOA doesn't own me. If I'm not, I'm going to retire. Find a good boyfriend, all that." He waved over his shoulder. Armand hopped up to get a ride, earning a smirk. "Lazy," he teased. Armand yawned and curled up. Xander found his room a mess. He sighed and straightened it then unpacked the bedroom trunk the easy way, stretching his own room. Ah, nice, big, empty bed. Armand hopped up on it and Xander put down the trunks for now. He could unpack the other one. The rest of the things that had been in here he let drop into this new version. Even though he knew he wasn't that messy. He'd deal with whoever had searched his rooms later.
Xander looked around his space and shook his head. "No, this one's shielded." He looked at Lorne. "That one to keep out ascended is going to screw with it."
"Damn. I wanted to see your office."
Xander shrugged. "Move me somewhere outside the main tower then." Lorne gave him an evil smirk. "It worked in my room. My bed's very comfy to rest on. Much comfier than the one you guys gave me."
"Shrank in a corner as a seat."
"I guess that works."
"Who was in my room?"
"No wonder it was messy," he said, cracking the major up. "Okay, whisk me away to a beautiful place with a view and maybe a window that opens? I'd even take an eyrie."
He grinned. "I know a room that might be useful then. It's tiny. It's above the metal shops."
"I can bang out a pretty decent sword but it's not my best talent." He and his trunk followed him through the transporter. Though the trunk had some problems so Xander just sent it there ahead of them. Lorne walked out and around it. Xander caught it and they walked into the small office area. It was decent by Atlantis standards. Xander beamed, opened the trunk, and threw his library up. Including the spare door that got put into the main room.
The weapons were all there. His couches. The books Daniel had confiscated. The extra trunks of porn from his room that Vala had said she had locked in his office away from the nosy sorts. Though she did admit she had taken two or three for herself. He beamed at Lorne, who gave him a stunned look. Xander switched the couch down by the window and the chairs. He petted Morticia and Gomez. They had been in stasis. His plants were fine in his nursery. He closed that door and opened the balcony, sighing in pleasure. "Ah, better."
"Wow," Lorne said, looking at the books. "Hey, normal english books." Xander grinned at him. "Can I?"
"I never mind as long as you guys don't ruin them."
Lorne got a few and looked around again. "Wow, Xander." Xander beamed. "McKay's going to be jealous."
"He's been in my office before."
"That's cool. The linguists won't want to come up here."
"They're allowed as long as they don't ruin my books too." He looked and plugged in his mini fridge. He tossed the bad stuff out the window and into the water. Where it was eaten by some of the fish. He tossed out the toxic milk into the recycler and then smiled at him. "Sorry."
"It's okay." He shook his head when the sodas from Xander's stash got put in there. "Can you actually run out and get more?"
"Yeah, but I'd have to pick a safe target on earth." He shrugged. "I usually pick Times Square. No one notices anything there."
"You'll get in trouble."
"Probably." He grinned. "It's cool. I can get milk some other way. The other stuff was for Morticia and Gomez from the mess."
"I can see why. Is she...reaching for me?"
"Yup, she thinks you'd make a wonderful snack, Lorne." He laughed and left the room. Xander settled in to open his laptop and get back to what he had been doing. "Good afternoon, AI."
"Good afternoon, Xander," she said, her image appearing beside him. "Did you have a good trip?"
"Not necessarily but it was productive. I'm up here for at least six months so let's see what we can do, focusing on Nila today please." She moved that to his computer and then disappeared. "Thank you."
"You are welcome. You have visitors."
"I don't mind. Even the huffy ones," he said when he spotted Woolsey with Daniel and John. "I moved the sub-library out here."
"I noticed." He looked. "Are you going to move your stuff to that closet?"
"I'm contemplating most of it." He grinned. "This is what I have so far on Nila, Daniel."
John plucked a few books off. "Thanks, Xander."
"Welcome. Don't let anyone move Morticia into direct sunlight. She withers."
"She's an Addams, of course she does," he agreed dryly. He petted both plants and avoided being eaten. "Botany wants to compare Morticia to some tentacle plants we found up here."
"Not a problem. Tell them to bring her some meat without bones. I'll start saving part of dinner."
"I can do that." He left before Woolsey could finish losing his temper.
"I did not want this up here, Mr. Harris."
Xander looked at him. "Woolsey, do you want me to be polite or blunt?" He flinched. "I don't care what you want. I'm up here to translate. I'm not going to leave this stuff somewhere someone can get into it or my plants will die. Most of my collection is priceless. So no, I'm not going to leave it in a box either. Then I'd never be able to find it. I do work in a logical method beyond expanding my office."
"Others will get jealous."
"Then they can buy the stuff to let me expand theirs. I bought my own and they can buy theirs. If they do and they're not in the main building where the ascended shield is, I can do that."
"We keep everyone down there for power reasons."
"I gave you guys a massive power source," he said dryly. "The two pouting Ancients you have around here gave you safer ZPM's. Beyond that, there's times I work by candlelight."
"The other linguists won't want to come up here."
"It's not like I'm some princess in a tower. You don't need to climb up my hair. I can also go down for meetings. Besides, I don't think that's a problem. They had no problem on base coming up a flight of stairs to get into mine and Daniel's offices. It's easier here."
"I don't like it," he said firmly. "I am the head of this expedition and you will do as I say."
Xander chuckled. "Woolsey, you're not the head of this expedition, O'Neill is. He can complain to the IOA and get you removed." Woolsey glared at him. "Since he hasn't I guess you're decent at this. But I'm not under IOA control. I haven't been under IOA control. I'm not going to be under IOA control or I'll go to the press." Woolsey flinched at that. "Especially since three of them have sent me death threats again," he finished blandly. "I could care less what your opinion is on anything. My job is to translate things. If I'm on a field team and going to do something, that's one thing."
"You could be vulnerable if we get attacked."
"I'll probably be beating the hell out of them and I can shield my office, Woolsey. I can put up a shield that no wraith will ever get through. Or Genii. Or even a replicator. I can make it so the only one who can walk in is me and Sheppard. Because I *trust* him." He stared him down, seeing when he got it. "I've already had my fill of assholes who want to use me. I'm doing my job. I created this extra space and when I go it'll go with me. The same as my bedroom will. All I ask for is a bit of quiet now and then. That's not too much to ask, right?" He shook his head.
"Good! Then don't bitch at me because you feel the need to top anyone new! I'm not your bitch. I'm not Landry's bitch! The only one who has any say over me is O'Neill and he turned over that right to Sheppard and Daniel, or McKay if Daniel isn't up here. I might go alone now and then when I want to or when I think it's necessary but I'm not going to bend things to your will. The IOA is not getting any future tech. They're not getting any past tech, or future knowledge. So you can tell them to tongue me. I did before I left."
"Others will complain."
"Half of everyone doesn't want to be around me anyway, Woolsey. They all know I'm a bit weird thanks to blipping and being around for seventy fucking centuries." Woolsey gasped. "In the gym, I get the new guys, not the experienced ones. They all know I'm going to kick their asses. The new guys hear I'm a bit strange thanks to that and they back away too. The military mindset doesn't allow for differences," he said dryly. "Now, anything else you wanted to whine to me about that I don't give a damn about?"
"Your office is shrinking."
"AI, please remove the ascended shield from my office and above. I don't think we have anything above me, right?" Woolsey shook his head. It was removed and Xander expanded it out again with a sigh, then locked it down. He locked it every way he could and felt the city protest. He had a silent battle with the city and he won because it was a computer and was programmed to obey. It quit fighting the magic in that one tower. He sighed and locked things down again once he had it perfect. It stayed. He beamed. "I even got the AI to quit fussing at magic. I'll have to check my bedroom later." The AI appeared. "Is my bedroom still all right?"
"Yes, Xander. We extended the benefits of your office to your bedroom. It will be vulnerable during an attack."
"I can shield it better than even yours, so that no one but me can walk into it," he told her.
"That is wise then. Someone is in there right now." Xander blipped and came back twenty minutes later. "Is it fixed?" she asked.
"Quite, thank you." She bowed and left. He looked at Woolsey. "Had to deal with the same shrinking problem but Faith was in there looking for a shirt. I needed to take her shopping."
"You did what?" he asked.
"Took her shopping and got stuff for the plants." He put the bags down and loaded his mini fridge with the lunch meat. "There." He tossed the extras over since he hated putting them in stasis. They gobbled up the meat and Gomez was smoking happily again.
"Has Botany seen them?" he asked.
"Yes. The one on Earth has one of Morticia's old tentacles planted. Lorne said the local ones might want to look at them. I don't mind."
"Is that blipping dangerous?"
"It's nice you care, Woolsey, but this is my blippy. It's not going to run out of power and strand me somewhere, or I have a backup. It's running on the power of a harnessed sun." Woolsey shuddered at that fact. "No, it's not dangerous in my hands. In others, it may be but they won't be getting it." He sat down at his work table and felt Atlantis probing his office. He called his laptop over and ended that subroutine to sense magic. It stopped. "I turned off the subroutine to sense magic since I know it's gotten Faith at least once."
"That's fine. Can it call other things or pinpoint our location?"
"It's a very minute energy output when I blip through time and space. None when I just teleport back to earth. Which is why it's better I'm up here in case I need to run out for more soda."
"We have coffee."
"Fine." He stared at him. "I don't want you showing off. Others are feeling that you're getting special privileges."
"I do but I'm also conscripted."
"I'll point that out." He put the book he had been looking at back. "Smut in Greek?"
"Yeah, I have smut in most languages I know. It's easy to learn on because you know what it's saying."
"I don't want to know." He left.
Xander looked through his porn stash. Then he called a few Marines he knew in person up. "These go into the porn closet please."
"Gay smut?" one asked, grimacing.
"Het smut, gay smut, bi smut, even some anime smut." He looked at him. "Even something with tentacles, though I'd never let Morticia play with my heart that way." They snorted but carried them off. "Thanks, guys. I kept my favorites so that's free game." They nodded at that. Xander got back to work on the translation, moving back to his couch.
Rodney walked in and looked. "You made it bigger?" he demanded.
"I moved the sub library out into the open." He smiled at him. "Come see." Rodney came over to read over his shoulder. "Is that not another city?"
"It sounds like it." He frowned. "What did you stop in the computer?"
"The anti-magic sub routine. I need to check my bedroom again. Do you have Armand? I left him sleeping on the bed."
"No, I don't. Go check." Xander teleported down there and fixed things, including finding the dragon and bringing him back. "With Ronon?"
"On the bed that Atlantis was trying to banish." He got into another section of his computer and fixed that problem for good then went back and fixed his bedroom, even though Jon was standing in the doorway. He sighed and went back to his office. "There."
"You hack?" Rodney asked dryly.
"No. Not quite."
John Sheppard strolled in. "Your bedroom's still fine. What did you just end? It pinged the command center computers and created a glowing dot."
"The anti-magic stuff." He let Rodney look over his shoulder and fix whatever he had done. "Thank you, Mean Uncle Rodney. I don't know how you guys sleep on those beds."
Rodney gave his head a shove. "You get used to it." He looked at John, who was calling. It worked and the light had went out. They moved Xander's bedroom and dragon up to the suite at the end of the hall and it was better. Everything worked well. The stretching stayed. A few people stared at his huge personal tv. Especially Faith. She even made a quip about porn. Then they went to his office and groaned about it. Faith played with Gomez's affection by not letting him bite her fingers but teasing him with them. She stayed away from tentacles as a rule so Morticia got to watch.
Xander beamed at them. "Welcome to my office," he told his fellow linguists when they appeared. "Yes you can borrow books but they're priceless first editions. Most in original printing. Got it?" They beamed and went to look. One took a Summerian smut novel and the other took a Latin one with a blush. "It's easier to learn to translate on smut." He grinned. They agreed this was fine and they could come help him with whatever soon. Rodney shooed them off finally to go work. He and John shared a look and he left.
John sat down on the foot of the couch, looking at him. "It's probably one of the best views in the city," he admitted.
"It's fresh air and a breeze."
"It is." He looked at him. "I understand about you and Cam," he said quietly. Xander shrugged. "I know it was casual. If you're going to flirt up here, be cautious. Some of our Marines are uptight."
"I heard the last time I was here."
"Good." He stood up. "I know it's hard, Xander. We all agreed, all of us who know you pretty well, that you need a real boyfriend sometime. Preferably soon." Xander gave a small shrug at that, not looking at him. "If you find one up here, then I'm all for it. Let me know and I'll help protect you two." Xander blinked up at him. "I know why Cam came to you too. I couldn't stand watching you do that to save my ass either." He patted him on the head. "Just relax and if it happens it does. We like it when you relax. Even when you don't spoil us by letting us borrow books." Rodney brought two back in. "Were they mistreating them?"
"No, they were translating smut on work time instead of working." He scowled at Xander.
"There's some in the database."
"Don't tell them that!" he complained, walking off again. "They can have it back after they're done for the day."
"Sure." He smiled at John. "I gave up hiding who I was after all that, John."
"I can agree with that. You should be able to be yourself. You've earned that right, just by being in the project. I'm sure Landry's swearing at himself over that." He sighed, staring at him. "If it happens, let it. Even if it's just for fun. It could help."
"Maybe. I don't know anymore. I'm more screwed up after that, though Cam helped a lot."
"I know. It helped to have someone who was there because they liked you, not because they wanted to use you. Personally I think Landry should've gotten someone from the CIA who's used to it." He left, taking the books back with him. He gave them back to the linguists. "For after work, guys. Xander said there's smut in the more ancient sections of the database."
"Who's this Nila we keep running into?" one asked.
"Xander's working on that with Jackson. Send all those to him." They nodded and sent him section mentions so he could include it. John went to his office, stopping in Woolsey's. "We're his healing spot. Leave him alone."
"What did Landry do? He seems more bitter now."
John walked in and had the door close behind him. "Landry sent Cameron Mitchell on a mission to infiltrate an Ori Fleet Commander's home by pretending to be his staff. They had a contact who could get him in. Landry swears he didn't know that it was to be his pleasure slave." Woolsey went pale. "When he found that out, you saw him summon Xander, who had to deal with that issue in the past and sent him after Mitchell." Woolsey threw up. "I think that was about Xander's reaction. He's had to protect himself before and this brought up bad memories. Landry lost his unwavering support from Xander by basically having him sell himself to save Mitchell. Those two got closer during it, mostly to help Xander. Cam didn't... he saw him the four days the commander was there using him for his own pleasure and then a few others who tried to interrupt while they were looting his house of information. I couldn't have held back myself," he finished quietly. "The last of which Keller caught when we came back from that training thing."
"I can fully understand that. No wonder he's more hard now."
"You put his back up, Woosley. You know better. You tried it the first time and it didn't work then." He left him to his misery and upset stomach. John knew missions like that happened. Or you got captured and used. Things like that happened and you just had to persevere and heal then move on. He agreed with Cam. Xander had seen too much of that in the past and needed to heal. The only way he'd find that healing was with someone who liked him for himself. Not for what he could give them, make them, translate for them, or even build for them.
If he liked boys, he'd adore having Xander as his. Unfortunately boys weren't his thing and he wasn't sure even if it was he could handle all the knowledge that Xander had tucked in his brain. It would be like dating a super McKay. Which was a bad thought. Maybe Ronon? That would be purely physical and good for the boy. They could both use the healing time with another person touching them. He'd have to subtly suggest it later.
Xander looked up as someone walked in. "Hey, Ronon."
"Xander." He came over to where he was sitting. It was a good hike but the view was wonderful and so was the breeze. "No wonder you picked up here." Xander smiled and nodded. "You're missing sparring practice."
"Let me finish this one section."
"What is it on?"
"I think we found mentions of another city."
"Hmm. Interesting." Xander beamed and finished up, then closed his balcony doors and followed him. He locked his library with a thought as they walked to the transporter. "If there is a new city?"
"I'd like to be the one to find it. I was never on Atlantis before this project and it's nearly magical but not. Something in that new one is calling on me to find it."
"Maybe they built it after you visited?"
"Maybe. Or maybe before. It was the prototype for this one." He shrugged as they got into the transporter. They came out by the gym. "Think I should play weaker so the others actually spar with me?"
"No. That's an insult to what you can do." He gave him a dirty look. "We've all noticed and it was stopped." He walked him inside. "Major Lorne, warm him up for our later sparring."
"Yes, Ronon." He grinned at Xander. "Came out of your office?"
"I do need to keep in shape." He shrugged and took off his t-shirt and sneakers. "Staffs, bantos rods, or just hand-to-hand?"
"Hand-to-hand. You're weaker there and I have a chance of winning," Lorne's teammate teased.
Xander grinned. "I don't mean to be so rough on you guys."
"We know but it makes us better," Lorne assured him. He and Xander fought. It was a great workout and Xander helped him where he had a few weak spots. The rest of the team tried a pile on and even Ronon had to wince when one hit a wall. "Oops," Lorne moaned as he got up. "Guys, we keep forgetting Xander's like the intellectual version of Teal'c and Ronon's love child." He rubbed his shoulder. Xander pulled him over to look at it for him. "Just banged it," he said quietly.
"I gave you a hell of a bruise and I'm sorry," he said, smiling at him.
"No more piling on you," Lorne teased. Xander beamed at him. He gave him a gentle shove. "Let me get some tyelenol."
"I made some more of my oil if you wanted to borrow some."
"I might later, before a long soak." He left, going to the infirmary.
John was in there by then, Jon too. "Let's rumble," Jon decided, taking off his own shirt. John did too. Ronon was already without his vest. John attacked Xander, since he was partially tired. Xander got him and backflipped to a weapon. "No fair using tricks off Buffy's repertoire," Jon complained.
"Whatever works," Ronon told him. "Though that does look handy." He caught Xander's ankle when he moved and tossed him at a wall. Xander bounced and groaned but got up and came back to beat his ass. John and Jon attacked as a unit, piling on Ronon, who groaned.
They turned on Xander, who was still pretty damn good. And running a bit hot. John's rods got found and tossed to him by Teyla. Jon took a staff and Ronon got his own rods. Then it was really on. The others in the gym were watching. Teyla had moved out of the way. She didn't want drawn into that. Xander got past Jon's staff and got him on the side, making him yelp and move.
Which left John's arm open. He corrected but Ronon did get in a lucky blow to his shoulder. John grimaced and kept going. Jon was holding his side and swearing. He needed more work but O'Neill hadn't been that sort of warrior. He had been a higher weapons master, not a lower one. John and Ronon nodded and turned on Xander, who ducked a blow to the head and got Ronon's leg pretty hard. Then his stomach when he winced and shifted because of the blow to his thigh.
He came back but Xander spun-kicked him in the chest, making him groan and move out of the way. John and Xander moved around each other a bit but then John lunged and Xander blocked. The bantos rods weren't his best lower tech weapon but he was pretty decent. He fell for a feint and got a good hit on the shoulder himself.
"Payback," John smirked.
"I have my oil, I'll be just fine rubbing out muscle soreness later," he quipped with an evil smirk. John knew that look and braced himself but the attack didn't come immediately. He attacked and Xander defended then he attacked with a spin to avoid a new hit and getting him in the leg twice, then knocking him off his feet and getting him in the side, before jumping out of the way of John's strike so he could get up. He was panting and it was good. "Going to lay there?"
"I give," John moaned, standing up.
Xander pouted. "Already?"
"Yes, already." He smiled. "Good job."
"I'm going to be bruised for weeks," Ronon agreed.
Jon snorted. "Me too. I need more physical weapons practice."
"You were always a higher tech weapons master before, Jon."
"I know. Give me a bomb and I'm a happy guy," he complained, straightening up. Doctor Keller, who had been summoned and had seen a good bit of the fight, came over. "Hey, Doc."
"Jon." She scanned him. Then the others. "Xander, do you need something for your shoulder?"
"No, Doc. I've got my oil and a tub."
She looked at him. "Uh-huh." She walked them out, letting them hand their weapons to Teyla.
"Okay, I want to learn that," one of the new Air Force guys said.
"I can teach you the bantos rods, but with practice comes that level of skill," Teyla told him.
"Please. I know you taught Colonel Sheppard." He moved forward once she had picked out lighter rods for them. "Ma'am, that was super geek Specialist Harris, right?" he asked. She smiled and nodded. "He's the toughest geek I've ever seen."
"He has been in other wars, just not here."
"He had temporal travel from what I'm told."
"Oh!" He nodded. He let her teach him how to block and attack with the rods. They moved up to a pretty good practice. At the end he was a pile of sweat and shaky muscles. "How many times a week do you teach?" he asked her.
"I teach any day I'm not busy. Simply ask. I'm in here for myself three times a week."
He grinned. "Thank you, ma'am. I'll be back very soon." He went to cool down with a long stretch and some yoga.
Teyla walked over. "How do you do that? I do not know of any method of stretching that way."
"It's called Yoga." He smiled. "Here, do this," he said, helping her into the first position. "If you can't do it fully, that's fine. You'll work your way up to it." She beamed and they went through all the positions he knew together. Then they both needed showers. He got her the tape and book he had bought before coming up, letting her have it over dinner. "So you get a fuller experience than I can give. I'm not a master," he said with a shy grin. He went to get his own dinner and sat with his friends. She read the book over dinner.
John came out, finally released from the infirmary, and sat across from her. "Yoga?"
"It looked beneficial to be that flexible."
"It is," he agreed. Ronon came in and grunted as he sat down with his tray of food. Jon did the same but he had something in his mouth already. Xander and Rodney walked in, with Daniel following, all arguing. They got food and pulled over a table to eat with them. "What now?" John asked sarcastically.
"The new city is definitely sunk," Daniel told them. "It said to be at the scene of their greatest failure. I don't think that's earth."
"We have two here locked in their rooms working on ascending," John reminded them. Daniel rushed off to talk to them. "Xander?"
"They won't tell me anything. They still hate me for not fighting exactly the way they wanted." He shrugged. "I'm fine with that because I think ascending is the best way to run away ever."
"It does seem that way," Ronon agreed.
McKay nodded since his mouth was full. He swallowed quickly. "It makes no sense to want to ascend when you're healthy, young, and have things that you can still learn and do."
"They gave up," Xander pointed out. "In a lot of ways, what they did was like suicide, only they went to a higher plane to be energy and watch over things. I may never understand that. No matter how long I live, I can't see the point of ascending to float around as energy and go 'I'd do that differently' like they do. Especially since most won't interfere in daily things to teach. I mean, if you can't laugh sometimes, what's the point."
"It does seem to be a miserable existence," Ronon agreed. "Not one I'd choose."
"The same can be said for those masters who give up all worldly gain and influence so they can go to the next level of evolution," Rodney pointed out.
"Which I think is great and all but they do teach before they get there. They teach how they're doing it but I can understand what sort of comfort that brings. It brings you to a final ending place that's supposed to be nirvana. I get that. I don't get not teaching it, giving it all up before then, and just ascending to a higher plane of energy where you're bored all day and can't really do anything but watch. That's not my version of an after-life."
"Mine either," John agreed. Ronon shook his head since his mouth was full.
"I don't see that any life where you can't laugh, learn things, and then sometime find someone nice to be with," Rodney admitted.
Xander shrugged. "On that last one I'll find someone sometime. Maybe."
"I'm sure you will," Rodney said firmly. He stared him down. "There's many people who would love to get close to you."
"For my mind or what I can do, Rodney. I need a person who's there for *me*, not for my brain, my ass, or anything else. I can't take having another boyfriend that wants to hold me on a leash to show me off. Or thinks he'll protect me because I'm his toy. I just can't do it again."
"No, you shouldn't," he agreed quietly. "The last time was bad enough."
"Can we not talk about that?"
"Sure." He saw Ronon's look at him. "Surely your people know about such things."
"Yes, many have taken spouses for that benefit. I cannot see Xander doing that though."
"Sometimes you can't really help it," Xander said dryly. "Especially when you have no idea what's going on and you get snatched by people sellers."
"Oh. I'm sorry then." Xander shrugged. "Are you all right?"
"I'm tired of people wanting me as a thing, Ronon. I'd like a man, or a woman, cause I'm not picky anymore, who wanted *me*."
"I can understand that and I know you'll find one sometime. I found a mate and I'm more stubborn than you are."
Xander smiled. "That you are. Hasn't Armand pounced you?"
"He was feeling a bit warm to the touch so we let him nap," Rodney told him.
"Must be a growth spurt. I'll bring him into the tub with me later. He likes to soak."
"Dragons are hedonists?" John asked with a grin.
"Oh, so much. He's so spoiled too." He ate another bite of dinner. "So, anything good on the team mission front?"
"Not right now," John admitted. "Just some trade things that need to go through so we're training the new guys on them. Lorne's team is going on one."
"We can go on a few," Jon offered. "Not like I have a secondary job up here or in the Mountain."
"I'd like for you to work with Faith," Xander told him. He waved her over. She came over to sit beside him. "You remember Jon right?"
"Yeah," she said, shaking his hand. "What's up?"
"You know what he is?"
"Yup, got that filled in for me by Kissen."
"Well, he used to be a pilot and special ops commander," Xander told her. "Do you think you can keep him from being bored by working with you on that stuff? I know Radek's so happy he's wiggling over teaching you."
"I can do that," she agreed with a grin for Jon. "You sure you're up to that?"
"Yeah, I can boot camp you, Faith. That's not a problem. I know about your unique skills and that'd free up Sheppard for more mundane things that he has to handle. Plus I could use some time in the flight simulator myself," he finished with a grin. She beamed at that, punching him on the arm. "Ow. Easy on me, I sparred with Xander, Ronon, and John earlier."
"I downloaded the film; it was impressive," Rodney offered.
Xander beamed. "I know I am. Thank you."
"You can only have an ego like that if you save the universe," he shot back with an evil smirk.
"I saved the earth, is that good enough? That would be a solar system."
"No, not until it's a galaxy," he shot back.
"Shoot. Now I'll have to do that. But, hey, I gave you pretty things to help save the galaxy from the wraith and the replicators."
"That may count," John admitted. Xander beamed. "Still, egos are bad. It means you get less dates. Like him."
"I've had some very nice attention," Rodney complained. "It's not my fault I'm on the same team as the manslut of Pegasus."
"I am not!" John complained. "I never *ask* for their attention, McKay."
Xander pouted. "Can I aspire to that title? At least it'd be fun playing."
"No," they said in unison.
"He'd hate it if you took all those priestesses away from him," Rodney said dryly. "They simply refuse to leave him alone."
"Doesn't Teyla scowl good enough?" Faith asked.
"Nope," Ronon said dryly, looking at John. "We need to go to that planet with the nubile princess that had the coffee-like stuff."
"We can send Lorne's team." Ronon pouted. "Don't start."
"They had a few guards there who liked to challenge me."
Faith snickered. "I find you big and cuddly, Ronon, but only a small threat to chastity." She ate a bite of dinner. "Maybe if you scowl more?"
"Ha ha," he said sarcastically.
"I find him more imposing when he's happy. Then he usually has a plot and is up to no good," Teyla told Faith. "Do you know this discipline?"
"Yoga? No. Getting bendy and meditative was never my thing. Sorry. X?"
"I've tried it a few times but I was never that bendy. Maybe sometime you'll invite me down for a new trial." She beamed and nodded, getting back to her reading. He finished his dinner and looked at his tray. "Didn't I blackmail someone into getting us a bigger food budget so we wouldn't have liver again?" The others laughed but nodded. "Damn."
"We get hotdogs more often," John offered.
Xander stared at him then shook his head. "I know there's a people that use a goat for food. It's a very evil goat."
"No, thanks," John said dryly. "No living things please."
"Damn." He drank his milk then Faith's milk, then went up to get some more. Because that aftertaste was just nasty. Though the milk had an aftertaste too so it was clearly fake milk. He did get Faith a new glass of milk. He sat down again. "Okay, what do we have on Nila beyond that she's sunk and was the prototype to Atlantis? Ask me questions so I can think."
"How big?" John asked.
"Smaller than here. Maybe half as big at the most."
"Does it have a shield?" Rodney asked.
"Not that I've seen. It's where they experimented on all their tech for here by what I've seen. They mentioned a few failed trials of the AI and things."
"I'm hoping Jackson can tell us which planet it's on," Rodney admitted. "Is it made of the same material?"
"Yes. I think so. It has a stargate too I think. They mentioned traveling to it once."
"Is it unretrievable?" Faith asked. "Why did they toss it away?"
"They finished building this one and planned on recycling it but then didn't get around to it," Xander admitted. "As for unretrievable, that may depend on which ocean it's in or if that ocean dried up." He scowled. "I don't know."
"Well," John said, considering it. "Is it up here?"
"All I've heard was at the scene of their greatest failure. Which isn't earth I don't think. Daniel thinks it was because they ran from that plague. I don't think it's up here because they ran from the wraith in other ways." He looked at him. "When they left Pegasus and Atlantis sunk, I know they took the stargate back to earth. Where did they go? The outpost?"
"We think so," Rodney admitted.
"That makes no sense. The outpost couldn't handle that many people. There's got to be others."
"We have no idea how to find them," Rodney admitted.
"Can you scan from space for a specific metal?"
"We've thought about that but it would clue in the others," Rodney admitted.
"So get one of our people into NASA on a space flight to do some scanning. Or send up a roaming satellite?"
"We've tried both. It hasn't worked yet."
Xander leaned on the table. "Why would the Ancients build in Antarctica when they didn't seem to like cold?" They all stared at him. "None of the planets we've visited were ice planets, were they?"
"The outpost was storage you think?" John asked. "A last resort, for the last few to live on after the rest had ascended?"
"I'm guessing so," Xander admitted.
"They seem to like trees," Jon offered. "Half of everyplace we've been looks like Canada."
"Back then there would've been more trees," Xander pointed out. "I'm betting we can probably skip the desert areas. Possibly on purpose." They all nodded, some of those areas were in war zones or in countries that were only semi-friendly. "Okay, so, they had to be able to get to Atlantis. Any evidence of puddle jumpers on earth?"
"Not that I ever saw on the outpost," Rodney said. "I was assigned there for a long time and I never saw anything like a docking station. Though I can see the point that it was storage and the chair was there because they moved it. It's not at the deepest layers of the ice and we always wondered why."
"Rodney, we have scientists from all over. How many can visit home with a scanner? Would a scanner be able to tell within the same region?"
"We have one that might be able to tell within a continent."
"So someone has to write a paper and then go lecturing?" he suggested.
"That's not a bad idea," John agreed. "But risky in some places."
"Well, then let's use the IOA. They have to be good for something beyond making plans that nearly get good soldiers dead." They all smirked at that. He looked around for Woolsey then shrugged. He tapped his earpiece. "Woolsey, we're going to use the IOA, if you want in, come to the caf." He turned it off. Woolsey stormed in. "We think there's more than the one outpost on earth," he told him.
"We've considered that. We have no idea how to tell."
"We can ping for certain metals," Xander offered.
Rodney nodded, sketching out what they'd need to do it. "We need to get them to scan areas. Things like Canada."
"We're going to rule out deserts right now," Xander offered. "Since they seemed to like trees."
"I see." He considered it. "I can get with Landry over those plans."
"Sometimes we won't be able to get somewhere. Have the non-stupid, non-greedy, not Watchers Council related IOA people do it," Xander offered. "Or have Dawn do it. She's with Torchwood 4."
"What happened to three?" he asked.
"They're still in Cardiff. Jack shut that one down after everything that happened in the last invasion. I made sure they knew they had a safe area in another spot just outside Cardiff. It let them be less industrial and expand more."
"I suppose that's reasonable. Does UNIT know?"
"Torchwood isn't run by UNIT," Xander said dryly. "And I'm sure some do. After all, Martha Jones and Jack both used to travel with the Doctor."
"Good point. I can suggest that with Landry to a few who might be more open to helping. Why not Watchers Council related?"
"Because they're greedy information hogs who turn girls like me into single tools to be used, then tossed," Faith told him.
"Oh, I see. We didn't think they were that bad."
"I have a bomb with their name on it," Xander assured him. "Because I hate those people more than I hate the Initiative."
"That's probably reasonable with your past. I'll see what we can work up. What are you working on now, Harris?"
"There's a prototype to Atlantis, they called her Nila."
"Oh!" He stared at him. "On earth?"
"No. I don't think so."
"No. They said at the site of their greatest failure. I don't think it's on either planet. I know it could have been docked with Atlantis for a bit but they moved Atlantis after they finished it."
"Hmm. What other planet did they work on directly?"
"I don't know," Xander admitted. "Plenty have outposts."
"Good point." He left to send that suggestion back to Landry. It would keep the IOA and SGC busy for years probably. Which would mean Atlantis would lose some rank in their priorities but have less oversight too. "As long as they give us what we need to fight the wraith," he decided.
Daniel walked into the caf, walking over to the table to sit down in the free chair he pulled over. "It's not on earth, here, or in Pegasus. They have a manufacturing plant for the bigger things."
"Of course they did, it wasn't forged by hand," Xander said, considering it. "Do we have any idea?"
"I've run into a mention and neither of those were old enough to know. They abandoned it after they got Atlantis built. The greatest failure was another plague that they couldn't stop among their own people, possibly started by them. It sounds like the influenza."
"Which humanity never grew an immunity to," Rodney said. Daniel nodded. "So where is it?"
"It's in the Milky Way they think."
Xander considered it. "They have more outposts in Pegasus."
"I raised that point. They wanted to spread out this time, make sure that if it happened again, a bright mind wasn't lost by being in so close. I also got a few places that your random dialing pattern should've caught."
"We never instituted it," Rodney admitted. "We're still working on our lists." He looked at Xander. "What galaxy did Morticia and Gomez come from?"
"Um...this one I think. From Perantha if I remember right. But that's...that's future.... Shit." Rodney smirked. He called that journal to him. "Here it is. It's an outer rim world." He let him see it. "It's far enough ahead that there might not be people there yet."
"How did you know?" Ronon asked.
"I've seen ones that looked just like Morticia only smaller and less healthy. The suckers are smaller and less vicious. I figured it was evolutionary. The same as we've seen the big brother of Gomez, without the smoke."
"I was wondering if Gomez was from the same species as the one that nearly ate me," Teyla admitted, putting down her book. She took the book to read. "As far as I know, we do not have people that far out. That's wraith space."
"So, in the future, there's no wraith there, so people moved in and started a city," Ronon said. Xander nodded. "How far in the future?"
"Don't know. I got them in the twenty-ninth century. They were a present," he said quietly. Faith gave him a shoulder nudge. "It's okay. I spent a lot of time healing but they were a 'you're welcome and remember us' present from Jack and the Doc. They agreed I had to try to get back to my own time. That's when I built my own blippy. But you knew that, Rodney."
"He snuck them into your storage area with the note. I saw when you found them. I saw you overshoot your time zone by a few decades and end up in 1890's. Then land 3 weeks before you got it. I saw you follow yourself and realize when you couldn't do it anymore. I saw when the paradox was fixed. I think you made the right decision. We're a good way to heal and rest from all those battles and things."
"If a group I hadn't trusted hadn't shown up I would've went to offer Jack my services," he told the others. "It would've been more dangerous but I would've volunteered to help him build for the next set of problems. Someone's got to get him weapons. I would've run into the others who wanted me but not as often."
"When's the next one?" John asked. "So we can tell others to prepare?"
"Um... What's today's date?" He looked at Jon's watch. "Six weeks we'll have one that's supposedly friendly. Oh, and don't vote Saxon if it hasn't happened. He's a fuckhead who's going to endanger and enslave the earth. Um.... Oh, the next major one is in nine months? Or six months. I don't remember which."
"I'll let them know and send Torchwood and UNIT both personal emails," John assured him. Xander smiled. "What's the one in six weeks?"
"A guy who seems really confused. Keeps saying he wants bathtub water. That's really blood. The slayers will take care of him because he's the First Evil." Faith stiffened. "Not just you." He grinned. "Or just you and Buffy. You do have backup." He smirked. She batted him on the arm. "Then the next one is .... hmm. Annoying. Wants to be the queen so keeps trying to change into her. Of course, he thinks the queen rules everyone so that would give him better control."
"Gotcha, we've got to stop them before they get to earth," John said, getting up to write those messages. Rodney had looked up the people Xander talked about in case they became security risks. Those files had their emails and phone numbers. He grabbed Xander's cellphone too. It could even do conference calls. Their numbers were even programmed. He initiated it, closing his doors with a thought. "This is Colonel John Sheppard," he said in greeting.
"We were just talking to Xander about where he would've been and he let out that we're going to have a few problematic alien intrusions soon. He wanted you two told as well as my bosses." He leaned back. "He's not happy at the moment, Jack, but he's getting there. It's a long story and you should let him rant it at you to feel better. No, let's just say they sent him on a sexpionage mission." Jack growled. "He's fine. He transferred up here to be with us instead for the next six months. Yes I am. How did you know... oh, when it became public. I know you've traveled like him so I don't want to know what you know unless we're all dead when we land." Jack quipped something.
"Good enough then. We have one in six weeks. He said it was actually a demon in disguise and the slayers would need some backup since it was the First Evil?" Martha said something about that. "Exactly and he plans on being there. Said he acted confused, wanted bath water of all things. The next one was either in six or nine months and they were going to be in your neck of the woods, Jack. We're informing Martha because he said to. Something that wants to be the queen because they think she rules everything. Exactly.
"He wasn't sure if it was six or nine months from today. You know, he said he would've come to you for a job if too many projects he didn't like came for him. That way he could help you prepare and you could shield him from them. Exactly. How's Dawn doing? He'll want to know." He smiled at that information. "That's fine. I'm going to tell O'Neill next. That's fine, Ms. Jones. Whatever your chain of command wants you to do. I would personally get with O'Neill over that yourself. Set up his library and bedroom, Jack. He's better. I can do that. Thanks."
He hung up and called O'Neill, finding his number in there. He wondered why he had the Secretary of the Navy, the President's personal number, and the one for the control room at UNIT in there but knowing Xander he had needed them. "General, Colonel Sheppard. Xander's cellphone, yes, sir. Good reason, yes sir. Xander just told us that we're going to have a few more invasions soon. One in six weeks that's a demon that the slayers need to deal with.
"One in six or nine months that's going to go for the queen of England. Exactly. He asked me to talk to Ms Jones at UNIT and Jack at Torchwood. Both friends and fellow travelers. Yes, the last to know," he said dryly. "I didn't know if I could do a three-way call, sir. The one in six weeks is a demon, not an alien. The slayers need to deal with it. The First Evil." He laughed.
"That's why they need to, yes, General. The next one is going to want the queen for control purposes. Yes, that's Torchwood's job but this way you're on alert and we may be able to meet them in the solar system to scare the crap out of them. I can do that. Thank you, sir." He hung up and went to hand Xander his cellphone. "Jack said he wants to beat you for letting on about future events, you know better. Jack O'Neill said the same thing."
"My original can blow it out his ass," Jon told him.
"Take him with you when you blip," John ordered. "So he can tell the general that in person." He smirked. "Dawn's fine. She's got jealous girls all over her at school."
"I can do that." He took Jon's arm and they left from there. They got some burgers and fries too. Liver was gross! Pseudo liver was even worse!
Xander reappeared, handing Rodney a huge bag. "Share at will." He walked off.
"He'll be back on the supply ship. He held them hostage to get us no more pseudo liver."
"Can't blame the boy," Radek admitted, looking at the bag. "It smells nice."
Rodney opened it and moaned. "Croissants." He handed two to Radek, one to Miko, then hoarded the rest himself since they were stuffed with cherries and chocolate, depending on which one it was.
Xander walked into his room and had to turn when someone rang the 'bell'. He opened the door and stared at Evan Lorne. "Hi."
"Hi. No treats for the rest of us?"
"Jon's holding the supply ship hostage over the liver things."
Evan grinned. "Seriously?"
"Seriously. Jack agreed with him. Liver's gross and pseudo liver is even worse." Evan beamed at him. "So probably more hotdogs but maybe preformed burgers. They're cheap."
"You're welcome. I gave Rodney filled croissants."
"I don't rate on his gift giving list." He looked around. "That's a nice tv. You could play a huge game on it." Xander turned on his gaming console. "Seriously?"
"Seriously." He nodded him in. "You can help. It's no fun playing by yourself." He blushed. "I did not mean to make that sound dirty, sorry."
"I don't mind if you flirt, Xander. You're the nicest guy on base." He came in sit on the foot of the bed with him and play the racing game. He even won a few. A few hours later someone rang the bell and walked in. So it had to be an ATA carrier too. "Hi, Colonel," he said without having to look.
"Hi, John," Xander agreed.
"Boys. You brought a Playstation?"
"Yup." He beamed at him. "I needed it for downtime on the Mountain. When I got any. The linguists there were mean, Evan, they kept trying to pawn their work off on me."
"They're dumb," he said. "I know you got them back."
"Yup. Including their food turning to frogs whenever I got too fed up." Evan laughed and turned the corner in the game, leaning slightly.
John sat on the bed behind them. "What other games do you have?"
"Six or seven," he said with a point. "I wasn't sure if I wanted first person shooter games or not." John gave him a pat and moved to look at them. "Yeah, I got hockey because of Jon."
"It's a good game," he promised with a grin. "You need more so we can come bum it sometimes."
"Only if you're moving the tv too."
"We have some tv's but nothing this big." He sat up again. "You spoiled yourself."
"Yes I did because I deserve it, even if I don't use hair dye." Evan laughed at that, shaking his head. It made him miss a turn slightly and run into a barrel, so therefore groan. Xander beamed at him. "Are you the sort who talks on your phone while driving?"
"Nah, I have bluetooth for that." He got back into it and kept it up.
John stood up. "Where's O'Neill?"
"Food supplies so we don't get more liver."
"Thank god," John muttered. "He complain?"
"He held them and Jack hostage until they got better supplies in. Plus more tampons and chocolate pudding for the females."
"They'll thank him I'm sure." He left, going to make notes on that. He wouldn't tell Lorne it was nearly morning. Let him have some fun and he was nice if Xander wanted to date him.
Jon got beamed down with two MP's who handed him to John then disappeared. "I heard you made an ass of yourself."
"Yeah, but it was worth it." He smirked at Woolsey. "No more liver. O'Neill agreed with us."
"I like liver."
"The rest of us don't so have it once a month instead of every week. Before we go on a hunger strike." He walked off.
"Are you in trouble?" John called after him.
"Fine. Go give Xander whatever he called you for."
"It's coming down in a bit." He waved over his shoulder, going to take a nap. Caldwell had kept him up most of the trip asking questions about being a clone.
The food supplies got beamed down and the whole city rejoiced at not having liver anywhere in it. They had actual *beef* again too. Plus chicken. They were going to be parties all over Atlantis that night. The case of tampons in various sizes got a few laughs from the men but the women beamed at the supply crew and gave them hugs. The chocolate pudding got them more and from the men too. He guessed dinner was going to be great tonight. Yeah, they could handle Xander on Atlantis.
To The Next Part
Back to Crossovers Index