(Set between alignment 18 &19)
Private Journal of Derek Rayne:
As I look back on the events of last night, I am stunned by my own actions. I have knowingly taken advantage of a woman I consider a part of my family and the two young men I consider my sons. The night before last, when Kristen was bitten, I was stunned by my reaction to Willow, how motherhood had changed the body she so readily bared before me while they were trying to keep Oz calmed down. I admit to being flustered with the vision that she presented me, but it is no excuse for what happened last night.
Willow Rosenberg, supposedly a sweet, king, shy woman - or so she was when she entered the Legacy - proved that she was no longer like that. She came to me last night, offering herself to me. I was in bed when she walked in, leaning against the door she locked behind her, one leg in front of the other to make her even more winsome. I dropped my book, and I knew my mouth hung open in shock as she unbuttoned her top, telling me all that she missed with her two men, how they couldn't really satisfy her needs any longer. In my state of shock, I did not protest strong enough and before I knew it, she was straddling my legs, kissing me. I admit, here and now, that I am a man and that as such I do have needs, ones that have not been met for quite a while - since Philip had left me for his calling again. I make no excuse for my actions, only that I was overcome by my needs, overwhelmed with the woman who took charge and had her way with me. I was so overcome, I didn't even mind the stench of alcohol on her breath or her skin, or the scent of her men on her.
This is not something I would do normally, nor will it happen again. I hope. But it has happened and I had to confess this sin. This sin to my family, to my house, to the people who trust me, and most of all to Philip, he who loves me. I betrayed him last night. I will tell him, and I'm sure he'll understand, but I would rather it not have happened at all. To all who read this, now you know my shame and my secret. I slept with a woman I consider my daughter and I enjoyed it.