Hi! My sense of humor struck again. Thanks to Reets for the ending. As
usual, I make no gain from this other than personal. 'e' me at
firstname.lastname@example.org with any comments, etc.
Nick meets the Three Stooges
Nick looked up, 'No, it can't be.' There in front of him were the
three highest life forms in the universe, the Stooges. "Ah, umm, can I help
you?" He wasn't sure if this was a hallucination caused by the pain
medicine, but he wasn't going to be rude to them. After all, they were his
"No, we're here to help you. You've been taking everything much
too seriously. You have to lighten up." Moe was so formal about this.
This was a serious offense in the Big Guy's eyes. If you couldn't laugh,
then you couldn't deal with him. This one did try, but not hard enough.
"I try guys, really. I really do. Can you help me? I mean you three
are here to help me right?"
"True." Curly smiled, "But we have to do this a certain way. Now
just fall asleep, and we'll see you in your dreams." The three men
disappeared, and Nick followed their advice.
Nick woke up the next morning with a new goal in life, to get
Derek to laugh also. He knew that if he didn't laugh enough, Derek sure
didn't. He crawled out of bed, got dressed, and headed for breakfast.
Derek, Alex, Philip, and Kat were all downstairs ahead of him, but that was
okay. Maybe Kat would like to hear about this. She would be a good
helper, but he didn't want to get her into trouble if something went wrong.
"Good morning, everyone." Nick poured himself a cup of coffee and
looked over the tired faces around him. Moe had been right, they all did
need to laugh more. This wasn't healthy. "Do you have anything you want
me to do today, Derek?"
"No, I want you to go back to bed and rest. We need you to get
better, not worse." Rachel came in and stood behind him. "The only
reason you're home is that we told the doctor you would rest. In bed. For
at least another two days. So scoot, young man, and we don't want to see
you downstairs again until Lunch."
"Yes, ma'am. I'll just go now." Nick left the kitchen, but didn't go
back upstairs. He walked into his workroom. It was secluded, and nobody
would know he was down here. He thought back to the dream last night.
'What did they tell me was needed? Oh, yeah, I remember now. I think I
have all the materials in here. If not, there's probably some in the kitchen.'
Nick got down to work, first on some thing explosive. 'Never thought my
Seal training would help me like this. Oh, well, Derek will be surprised at
He worked for a few hours, until Kat came in. "What are you
doing here? Mom told you to go to bed, not come and play with your
"Kat, if you knew how bad that sounded to someone my age, you
wouldn't say it again." Nick didn't even look up at her. He didn't want to
encourage her to help him, it had to be her choice. After all, a pre-teen
was supposed to make her own choices, right? "Just don't tell them you
found me. I don't want to get yelled at again, I just couldn't stay upstairs
"What are you making this time?" She came over to the work
bench and looked around him. "Looks like an explosive of some sort.
Nick, you aren't going to blow up Derek are you?"
Nick laughed at the suggestion. "Nope. Felt that way some days,
but today it's harmless. If you want to help me, I'll tell you about what I
found out last night during a visitation." Nick let the offer stand. 'It should
be enough. Maybe she'll help me after all. She's pretty cool about these
Kat gave him a look. 'Oh, that was mean. Just start my insatiable
curiosity and then leave it." "Okay, what can I do to help?"
Derek emerged from his office later that afternoon to the sounds of
screeches. 'What now?' He headed towards the foyer, and stopped cold.
Philip, Nick, and Kat were spraying something out of a can on each other.
Laughing and carrying on at the top of the stairs. It was good to see them
so happy, but this? Just then Philip looked at Kat and grinned. They both
turned on Nick, who fell under the string stuff, laughing as he went down.
Unfortunately, Nick was trying to get Philip in the face with it when Alex
walked past them.
"Nick!" Alex tried to pull the stuff out of her hair, but it wasn't
"Sorry, Alex. I meant to hit Philip."
Derek walked upstairs to intervene laughing. Everybody was, even
Alex. "What are you three doing?"
"Playing?" Kat asked the question with her best 'Who me?' look and
a tiny voice. She smiled a little at Derek and looked up at the tall man.
"You three need to clean up this mess. Then Nick will help Alex
get that string stuff out of her hair." Derek walked away from the group.
"By the way, it was great to see you three laughing like this." Then he went
into his room to lay down.
Nick and Philip cleaned up the mess, and Alex went downstairs to
see if some dish washing detergent would take the sticky strings out of her
hair. Nick yawned and went to his room to take his pain pills. After that
romp in the hall, he needed them.
"Good start, Nick" Larry said from behind him. Nick turned
around and smiled at him. "I know what you have planned for later, and it
sounds good, but only using one? Why not use ones throughout the
library. It won't hurt the books, and I'm sure you could rig up some remote
"You're right I could. Wouldn't take too much more work to make
another four or so. Okay, I'll get on it right after my nap; my meds make
me sleepy. Okay?" He asked the question, afraid of making Larry mad.
"That's fine, Nick. Just don't sleep too long." Then Larry
disappeared and Nick went to bed.
Later, after supper at the house meeting, all of them were sitting
around the table. Nick sat there, waiting for the perfect time to detonate
the bomb. 'Boy, will this liven things up. I can't wait to see everyone's
face.' He and Kat had been practicing the finer points of physical comedy
all afternoon, after he had filled the bombs. 'She had a real handle on it.
She's going to be fine.' Nick waited until the meeting was getting somber
and depressing, then he reached under the table like he was scratching his
leg. He pushed the small remote device the had hidden under his leg.
Everybody yelled in shock when the shaving cream hit them. Not
only did they yell about them getting dirty, but the mess all around the
library was a sight. He had hidden one under the table, scored to hit
everyone in their seats. There had been another one hidden in the light
fixture overhead. The other three were around the books, letting the spray
cover the greatest distance, and the most books, possible. They all looked
at each other.
"Hey, who did that?" was the general consensus of questioning.
Derek just looked at Nick and got very mad. He grabbed Nick and pulled
him upstairs to their bedroom.
"What the hell do you think you're doing." When Nick didn't
answer right away, Derek grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.
"Answer me, Nick. I want to know why you did this."
"Because the guys told me we all had to lighten up, before it was
too late." Nick looked down at the floor. He had meant for everyone to
laugh, but Derek was really pissed at him. Damn. "Derek, I..."
"Not another word." Derek pulled him over and sat on the bed;
pulling Nick across his lap. Derek was going to spank him until he begged
for mercy. Derek began to spank Nick in earnest, until he heard Nick
moan more in pleasure than groan in pain.
Nick didn't like the first few, but by the time Derek was really
getting into it, so was he. He started to lift up his bottom to meet the next
stroke. He moaned louder and louder until Derek finally stopped. Nick
looked over his shoulder to face Derek.
"I can't believe you enjoyed that. I try to punish you for probably
ruining the books in the library, and you're enjoying it. What did I do to
"Derek, listen, these three guys came to me last night. Told me that
we all have to lighten up. If we don't, bad things are going to happen."
"What three guys, Nick? Nobody was in the house last night
"Yes, Derek, they came to visit me. They told me things. They
even told me how to make the shaving creme bomb in my dreams. That's
where they taught me everything."
"Nick, it was just a dream."
"No, Derek, it wasn't. I saw them before I fell asleep. They were
standing in my room. They told me I had to spread the light around some."
"Nick, it was just a reaction to your medication. Nothing more.
Promise me, that you won't take it again. Promise me!"
" I was just trying..."
"You were just trying to drive us nuts. All because of a
hallucination. That isn't like you. You were doing this to hurt me by
"This is getting us nowhere. Since I can't punish you this way, you
will clean all of the library. By hand. You will clean each and every single
book. By hand with a very tiny brush. Do you understand?" At Nick's
nod, Derek continued. "You will also do all the laundry from today's
escapades your self."
"Yes, sir." Nick looked slyly at Derek, "Now can we get back to
where we were?" Derek dumped him on the floor and tried to walk out of
the room. Unfortunately, Nick was faster. He tackled Derek by the door
and pulled himself up the hard body beneath him until he was next to
Derek's ear. "Anything else you want to assign for punishment, Boss?"
"Yes, keep that up and you get to be on the bottom for the next
month; and do what ever I say without question, both in and out of our
"Goot, now kiss me." That was the last phrase Derek said that
night. It was the last conversation for both of them that night. By the
morning, Nick could hardly sit, and Derek was very happy.
When Alex and Philip went upstairs to check on them a while later,
they didn't see the three men standing at the foot of the stairs, leaning
against the railing. They didn't see Moe turn to the other two and say, "I
think that they have some promise here. Let's go."