Title: Nightmares and Illnesses. Part 1
Author: Voracity
Rating: PG-13 to R (someplace in there)
Pairing: D/N/P
email addy: to list or voracitys@hotmail.com
archive: sure if our esteemed listmommy really wants to
Disclaimer: not mine, don't sue, I'm poor you won't get anything

Summary: DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HUMOR'S COMING OUT TO
PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (nope, not gonna tell ya, you gotta read it)

Warnings: see above.

Nightmares and Illnesses. Part 1
By Voracity

Nick snuggled down under the blankets, the medicine he had taken for his
cold kicking in. //Thank god for Nyquil,// he thought, closing his eyes to
drift off on the medicine and alcohol haze.

Nick opened his eyes again, looking around at the strange furnishings.
Gone was the light and airy woods and the soothing colors. His, Derek's,
and Philip's room was draped in black velvet and blood red satin. He
groaned, thinking this was a Nyquil hallucination, and reached for the
light. He never expected the lamp to start nibbling on one of his fingers.

Nick shot up, screaming, and looked over at the mouth smiling around his
fingertip on the front of the lamp.

Alex, or at least it looked like Alex, came *wiggling* into the room. Her
all black dress was so tight she couldn't walk normally, the ankle
constricting skirt, the tight sleeves that led to draping cuffs, the low
neckline. Really just the small train, all the way around, was enough to
make him look - how did she not step on it? He looked up at her face, not
expecting the deathly pallor or gothic hairstyle.

"Are you all right dear?" she asked, wiggling over to the bed to lay a cold
hand on his forehead.

"Yeah," he said, pulling his finger from the lamp's mouth with a ‘pop'.
"The lamp just wanted a snack," he joked.

"Oh, all right, I'll get it one in a minute." She removed her hand and sat
down next to him. "How are you feeling? You're cold again and that's a
good sign and all that nasty color is gone now."

"I feel miserable," he said.

She smiled. "Ah, normal again. Good, come downstairs when you're
ready." She got up and wiggled out of the room.

It hit Nick once the door was closed, where he was. "I shouldn't have
watched that marathon with Philip," he moaned. But instead of laying in
bed and feeling pitiful, his natural curiosity took over and made him go
downstairs. He took a quick shower, indulging himself with thoughts of
his lovers, then headed for their closet. All he could find was suits and
ascots, just like a certain member of that show wore. //At least some are in
my size,// he thought, getting dressed. He carried the ascot downstairs so
Derek could do it up for him.

He found Derek fencing with Alex in the living room.

Derek threw his rapier up, walking toward him just before it embedded
itself in the floor. "Cara mia , are you feeling better?" He picked up Nick's
hand, kissing it. "We were worried about you. You had so much color on
your face earlier." He spun Nick around, tying the ascot tightly and taking
a nip of his neck. "Fence with me?"

"Nah, I'm still not fully better." He sat down, grinning. "I'll just sit here
and watch your grace."

Derek laughed and grabbed his foil. "En garde," he told Alex.

Nick watched them dance back and forth, stunned yet again by the grace
and ease of his lover's sure movements with the weapon. He was
interrupted by a skeletal hand on his shoulder and looked up at it's owner.
"Rach," he said in greeting. She was obviously supposed to be Grandma
Ma, with her white straggly hair and shawl.

She laid a cold and long fingered hand on his head. "Good, you're
returning to normal. You still need to drink some of the brew I made you

Nick almost made a face, almost, but he held it back. "Umm, no thanks, I
might need it again later though."

Derek looked over, spinning to avoid Alex's blade. "Querida, if she says
you have to drink some, then you need to drink it." He danced off to the
side and pulled the rope.

The butler walked in stiffly, moaning. He handed Nick a steaming cup and
stepped back.

Nick made the face he had held back a minute before.

Derek snaked an arm around Nick's waist, pulling him up and against him
for a hard kiss. "Now, now," he murmured against Nick's lips, "drink it for
me my pet and I'll reward you later." He held him tightly while he drank
the foul brew, rewarding him with another kiss.

Derek spun Nick back to the sofa, tossing him onto it. He smiled at the
way his body hit the cushions, licking his lips at the splayed legs. He
suddenly attacked Alex again with renewed interest and strength.

Nick glanced around the arm of the chair toward the loud, shrill noises
coming from the hall.

Philip - in his collar and suit, hair slicked back, dark rings under his eyes -
and Kristen - blonde hairball that was whining - came into the room,
continuing their argument.

Philip pulled Nick up, possessing his mouth. He whispered, "You look
good enough to be put on the rack and played with," before pushing him
back onto the chair, hard.

Nick looked up, smiling. "Thanks, I am feeling better." He looked at the
blonde Cousin It clone. "Kristen," he said in greeting.

She squeaked at him before going back to harassing Philip over something.

Philip turned to her, evil little smile coming out to play. "I want to do
some ... experiments, would you like to be my test subject? I'm trying to
find the limits of the human body."

The hairball squeaked one last time and ran from the room. Quickly.

Philip turned to Nick and laughed. "Stopped that argument." He licked his
lips and grabbed Derek, taking his mouth hostage. He broke the kiss and
took Alex's foil out of his arm where it had run him through when he didn't
move. Philip looked at the blade, then slowly licked it. He interspersed
little kitten licks that drove them nuts with the long slow licks that said he
was enjoying it. He lowered the rapier suddenly, attacking Derek without

Derek laughed and the fight was on. He dodged and danced, trying to fight
the methodical assault of Philip's unshielded weapon. Philip slowly backed
the older man against the wall, eventually pinning him. He pushed the
sword-point into Derek's chest, walking closer but not letting the blade get
deeper. He removed the blade, slamming it into the wall suddenly beside
Derek's head and took his mouth, possessing it as he had Nick's earlier. He
removed Derek's sword and took a long slow lick of Derek's lips and
smiled. "Guess I'm on top tonight." He slammed Derek's foil into the wall
between the older man's thighs, making him shiver and moan ‘rematch'.
"Later my pet, I'll torture you later." He gave one last seductive smile and
left, going after their resident hairball.

Alex smiled at Derek and Nick, now sitting beside the ex-Seal, seeing both
shaking in anticipation. "You two are *so* lucky."

Nick woke up, laughing maniacally and shouting. Derek placed a soft kiss
on his forehead as he looked around.

Nick saw the nice, normal furnishings, the soothing colors, the light and
airy room he had fallen asleep in. "Thank you," he whispered, still hoarse.

"For what my love?"

"For not living like that and still being so good with a foil." Nick smiled
and rolled over to grab the warm lump of former priest beside him in the
bed. He checked his lover, just to make sure the dream hadn't followed
him home. Philip had caught his illness too and had apparently been led to
bed that was all, no rings, no slicked back hair. He snuggled down, secure
now. "Glad you're both normal."

Derek just looked at him, confused.

The End, onto the sister (or brother, as the case may be) piece.