Vacation Playtimes.

Xander finally managed to escape the estrogen zone.  "I'm disappearing into the ether!" he bellowed as he walked out the door.  "Don't destroy the city without me!"  He slammed the door and ran for the cab before one of the girls could stop him.  "I'm free," he said happily once he was inside.  "Airport?"

"International or domestic, sir?"  He pulled away, seeing the girls coming out to pout.

"International, Virgin."  The cabbie nodded, closing the little window.  Xander relaxed.  He was finally getting three weeks off.  There was a beach full of girls waiting on him in the Carribean.  Hopefully without reporters.  The ticket checker gave him a worried look.  "Vacation," he said slowly and clearly.  She smiled and relaxed.  "Giles is in charge if something happens."  He took his ticket and left.  He was being a good boy.  His gun and knife had been mailed to the hotel by UPS for him.  He was totally unarmed at the airport.  It felt creepy to be without even a stake but that was fine.   He ran into Dean in the airport, he was walking out.  "I thought you hated to fly."

"I do, but Faith said she needed a sub for you."

"Giles is there."  He called.  "Faith, why did you need Dean?"  He listened.  "Dean, did you want to play with the girls?"

"I don't mind helping them work on their endurance."

Faith quipped something.  "Yeah, they want you to work on their *endurance*, dude."  Xander smirked at him.

"I'm all for playing but I'm not staying."

"Good, come on.   Yes, Faith, I'm taking him with me.  Because he hasn't had a vacation either and the girls are going to handcuff him.  I heard them making plans that's how I know."  He hung up and dragged Dean to his flight, finding they did have spare seats.   Dean got his bag from baggage claim and checked it in then they went on first class to Aruba.  It would save Dean's life from the slayer pouncing and Xander's sanity.  They could use backup to picking up easy girls on the beach.


In DC, John Sheppard got onto the plane with a sigh of relief.  "Vacation," he cooed.  Cam Mitchell and Evan Lorne were with him.  They were all going on R&R.  Aruba was big enough for the three of them.  Two guards and it was good.  He sat down near them, getting comfy.  They were taking the smaller presidential plane on vacation.  "Finally."

"Definitely," Evan agreed.  "McKay's being a pain in the ass since they decided he was dating Radek instead of you, sir."

"Unless I'm chewing you a new one, I'm only John, still," he ordered with a smug look.

"Sorry, I don't like you that way," Evan quipped back.  "Or else I'd have stopped that dangerous priestess habit you grew in Pegasus."

Cam snickered.  "I know that habit very well.  Apparently I took over that spot on the mountain's teams too."  They all laughed.  The plane taxied and took off smoothly.  The three of them were pilots so they didn't worry if something happened.  They needed to relax.  Things were insane with the project being blown open.  "Did they get that general?"

"Oh, yeah," John said dryly.  "He's in jail.  Won't get out in this century."  They all smirked at that.  "Hopefully they have AA there too because he was drunkenly vengeful when he did the interview."  He tipped his seat back, getting comfy.  "Poke me if I snore, guys."  They nodded, getting comfortable too.


Dean ran into Cam Mitchell and winced.  He knew him.  "Vacation?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, you?" he asked.

"Definitely.  Xander saved me from the girls pouncing and tying me up."  He smirked.  "We're on this beach today and plan on the little private beach up the road tomorrow.  The club downtown with the red lights and flashing dancers later."

"We can avoid those," he agreed, shaking his hand and walking off.  He went to tell the others that they were there.  "Saw Dean Winchester."  John moaned, shaking his head.  "He and Harris are on vacation.  Winchester told me where they were going to hang so we can avoid it."

John smirked.  "That's an excellent idea."  They left to do some surfing and hanging around on the private beach up the road a few miles.  Hopefully nothing would happen with them around.   They managed two weeks of the vacation before something did.  Then it was John's bad girl drawing power that got them caught.  Tied up.  Put into a van and driven off.  The guards too.

A reporter who had been following John called that to her boss as she looked around.  "Oh, where is he?" she muttered.  "They weren't human!"  She went to check at the hotel.  "Have you seen Mr. Harris or Winchester in the last few minutes?  It's critical, I saw a demon snatch someone."  The worker pointed.   She jogged out to find him.  "Mr. Harris," she said.

He gave her a dirty look.  "Can't I have a vacation?"

"Three demons just took the VP's vacation party," she said quietly.

He nodded.  "Describe them."  She showed them the pictures she had taken on her picture phone.  "Done.  Thanks."  She ran off to report that too.  He sighed, looking at Dean, who sighed too.  "Breeders."  He got up.  "Stay, bask."

"You'll need backup, Xander."

"Maybe."  He walked off, going to get the weapons he had shipped to himself.  So much for a vacation.  They probably had a few hours before the Secret Service pounced the whole island.  Xander went to find out where the local demon bar was from the demon working in the kitchen.  He told him why too and the demon begged for their lives.  Apparently they were at the only demon brothel on the island.  He got directions and promised to leave most of them living.  He even let Dean drive as he called in the report to Faith.  He left it as 'stole one of the VP's friends to a demon brothel' so she wouldn't panic and tell Giles.  They got there and got out, finding a fat demon on the porch.  "Morning."

The demon shuddered.  "They had heard much about how nice and good they were, wanted to try them."

"They still stole the Vice President of the US," Dean pointed out.  "You're getting the Secret Service here."

She nodded.  "I will evacuate all those not involved?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure," Xander agreed.  "Have fun with that.  Where?"

"Back room, Harris."  She got out of their way.  This was going to be messy.  She might need to remodel with the weapons they were carrying.

Xander walked back there, kicking in the wrong door.  "Sorry."  He walked on until he found the right room.  John was complaining loudly.  Xander kicked in the door and shot all three with tranq darts.  "I thought it was just my luck," he said dryly.

"Two of them tried to hit on me yesterday on the beach," Dean said.  They got everyone freed and out to the car.  "We can hike, guys.  They're going to panic since a reporter told us."

John called it in.  "We're good, we were rescued," he reported to Chuck, Jack's wonder assistant.  "Yeah, Chuck, we're fine.  Harris and Dean Winchester saved us from the demons who had heard we were good and wanted to try us.  Tranq'd."  He drove them off.

Xander called a cab and they got back to the resort and then to a secluded beach to hide better.  This was so going to suck for them if they got noted too much.


Buffy and Jack met the plane that came back.  "Xander and Dean saved you from demon pros who wanted to see how good you were?" she joked.  "That's more Xander's luck than yours, John."

"Apparently they weren't getting anything good and wanted to try the best," he quipped with a dirty look for her.  She cackled, shaking her head.  "Mean wench."

"Yup, sometimes, but Jack's still better at all that stuff."  She got them to the car, ignoring the reporters.  She was getting better at that.

The others shared a look.  "A reporter told Xander."

"She also sold the story to HNN," Jack said.  They all whimpered.  "Not why just that you had been stolen by some."

"I'll clarify that was their version of hitting on us," John muttered.  "Rodney call to laugh?"

"He demanded that we let your former team go rescue you.  I told him you had already been rescued so it was fine.  He ranted for another ten minutes so I let Buffy calm him down.  She talked him in circles until he had a migraine."

"Nice work," Evan said with a smile for her.  She grinned back.  "Hopefully Willow will find a new spell to test and he can do that for a few weeks."

"Xander and Daniel are keeping whole stacks of magic books from her.  Dawn too."

"I might do the same," John admitted.  "What about history books related to the city?"

"Daniel's found that whole section and sent them over with Giles' blessing," Jack said.  They pulled onto the highway.  "You okay?"

"I'm good.  It's all good.  We had a great vacation.  When Cam ran into Dean, they got an itinerary so we could stay apart.  They got down and funky, we hit our own places to do the same.  It was good for all of us.  They're heading to Cleveland tomorrow."

"Why was Dean there?" she asked.

"Xander saved him from the pouncing plans the girls had for him," John said dryly.  "I asked."

"Dawn will stop that once Dean tells her."  She snuggled into Jack's side, smiling at him.  Then at John.  "For being kidnaped you have to go into public and be seen to be okay."  He gave her a dirty look.  "There's the Navy thing tonight."

"I might go to that," he decided.  "Or out to dinner."  The other two nodded.  "Are my guards being sworn at?"

"No," Jack said.  "Their commander said it was an extreme situation and they're fine.  They're pouty probably but fine."  John nodded and they watched the city go past.  "Just two more years and we're free."

Buffy grinned.  "Are you going right back to the Pentagon or are we going to the cabin?"

"The cabin," he said.  "I've said all along I'm going fishing without having anyone stare over my shoulder to scare the fish."

She laughed.  "I won't scare the fish on you."  He smiled at her for that.  "Giles wanted to know if I was fully retired or just on leave."

"You're fully retired outside of emergencies, the same as I am," Jack told her.

She nodded.  "That's what I said.  He agreed emergencies were different.  Apparently there's a slayer pension for those who have to retire due to traumatic injury and stuff."

"That's fine.  If you want to take that, that's up to you, Buffy."

"It'd give you more shopping money," John joked.  "They're calling you the Pink First Lady."

She snorted, shaking her head.  "I wear other colors.  I should shock everyone and wear a burgundy or something soon."

"There is the Marine Corps ball in a few months," Jack offered.  "You'd stand out among all the blues, greens, and whites from dress uniforms."

She nodded.  "I might do that then."  She hugged his arm.  "That means you have to put on your dress uniform, right?' she teased.

He smirked.  "It would."

"Good."  She looked at the guys.  "Yes, I'm allowed to be gushy and cute.  I've saved the world so I get extra cutesy points," she quipped.  They all snickered.

"I give mine to Vala," Cam admitted.

"I give mine to McKay for his freakouts," John and Evan said, then pinched each other.

Jack shook his head.  "You two are nuts."  The car swerved and he looked out there. "Are we under attack?" he called.

"Stolen police car, sir."

"Thank you."  He closed the window again with a sigh.  "I never get attacked anymore.  I almost missed being attacked the other day."

"Me too," John agreed.  "I haven't had to negotiate with anyone recently for food or to keep McKay and Ronon unmolested."

Evan nodded.  "I haven't had to geek wrangle recently either.  It's weird."

"If you want to, you can go unJedi the places the trio went," Jack offered.  "The Ori like the Jedi code much better than the book of Origin."  Buffy burst out cackling, shaking her head.  That's when they got attacked.  The car flipped onto its side, making them all crash together.  Jack groaned, having hit his head on the door frame.  Cam was still mostly good.  Evan had a broken wrist from trying to brace himself.  John was unconscious from Cam's bag hitting him too hard on the temple.  Buffy was mostly good.  She grabbed Jack's gun, silently thanking Xander for teaching her how to use one against her will, and climbed out.

"Get back in the car!" the secret service guard yelled.

Buffy climbed out anyway.  "They're mostly knocked out."  She moved to check the driver.  "He's dead."  The guard nodded, calling that in.  She looked around with her slayer senses.  She pointed.  "Something's wrong that way but I don't know what and the sniper's there," she said with a point.   The guard stared at her for a moment.  "Slayers have better eyesight and other special gifts related to the fighting."

"Good to know."  He called in the probable position of the sniper.   The 'wrong' feeling spot ended up being a demon club when they checked it.  Ambulances screamed up and Buffy stiffened, pulling up her sidearm to point at one.  "Know him?"

"Oh, yeah."  She cocked it.  "What are you doing here, Riley?"

"Move, Summers."

"That's Mrs. O'Neill to you," she said firmly.  "Guys, he's Initiative and part of that conspiracy that was trying to take us all out."  More guards showed up and got the ambulance crews.  None of them were licensed ambulances.  Buffy relaxed, leaning against the car.  She heard a groan so pulled herself back up to look in there.  "It's safer, guys, but just sit up and moan for a bit.  Real ambulances are coming."  Jack looked at her.  "Riley Finn was here."

"Your ex?" he asked.



"Basically."  She helped Cam out since he was the most awake.   She heard another shot and moved Cam out of the way.  It hit where she had been standing.  "I'm so calling Xander," she muttered.

"Buffy, that's why you have the Secret Service.  They're all like Xander, only sane," Cam told her.  One of them gave him a dirty look.  "Aren't you?"

"Much more sane than Mr. Harris," he assured them.  They got them into a shielded ambulance with the others.  John was barely awake.  Evan had to get a shove up with his broken wrist.   They got Jack out last, shielding him as best they could.  The ambulance went to the nearest hospital and it was good.  Mild concussion, a cast, and they were back at the White House.  Buffy's cellphone was ringing in the office.  Chuck was staring at it.

She answered it.  "Better be good, my husband needs babied."  She listened to Faith.  "Riley.  Yup, them again.  Apparently some escaped whatever Xander did."  She hung up, taking Jack upstairs to baby him.  Evan and Cam got taken to John's house to baby them there.   Buffy tensed when someone appeared.  "Whistler?"

"Buffy."  He stared at her.  "There's big stuff coming, princess."

Jack glared at him.  "Who the hell are you?"

"That's Whistler.  He's from the Powers.  He's a balance demon," she told him.  "He gives cryptic, life changing advice that sucks."  She glared at him.  "If this is about Riley, we noticed."

"Taking them out this time will mean you're going to lose one of your crew, but not to death.  Can you do that?"

"Are they going to jail?"  He shrugged.  "Spit it out.  I'm out of patience for the day."

"Fine.  Probably not jail, though a trial probably.  Plus, have you checked on Germany?"  He smirked.  "Beyond that, there's another big bad coming."

"Is Spike coming back without the chip?"

"No.  Someone that makes Angelus look pleasant.  And he wants you."  He disappeared.

She looked at him.  "I'm so putting on a slayer as a helper or trainer or something."

"We could use one that could train with the guards," he admitted.  "I'm fine."

"Shut up."  She fluffed his pillows and called down for a special dinner to make him feel better.  "I'm supposed to fuss," she said at his scowl.  "If you don't let me fuss I'll have to fuss over something else while I worry about whatever this new plan is and whatever new big bad this is."

He kissed her.  "Calm down.  C'mere."  She snuggled into his side, snuffling his shoulder.  He stroked over her hair, calming her down.  The guards brought in lunch.  "It good?"

"Very good, sir, all tasted."

She looked at him.  "So, are you part of Riley's idiocy or not?"  He stiffened.  "Like I didn't recognize you," she snorted.  He handed over the food, letting her taste it.  "Very good soup today."  She stared at him.  "Well?"

"Not part of his.  Most of us are against what Riley's doing now.  We learned what the girls should be doing from you and your team."

"Whistler showed up and said there's another big bad," she said.   "Beyond him."

"We've heard rumors, that's why two of us switched."  He smiled.  "Feed him, Summers.  He needs fussed over."  He left them alone to report that contact.  The general over Homeworld Security was not taking any chances about this.

Jack looked at her.  "We'll figure out Germany soon too."  She nodded, sitting up to help him eat his lunch.  He needed it and she needed to fuss so he'd put up with it this time.  Next time he'd fuss over her tiny injury and she'd know better.


Buffy looked up as the German ambassador walked into her office that weekend.  "So, I heard rumors that your country was doing something with the demon underground."

He nodded, swallowing as he shut the door.  "It is the feeling of our government that all demons deserve recognition as sentient species."

"I'm with you on that.  I was told there was a problem though."

He cleared his throat.  "It was felt all species should be protected under the laws of our country."  She nodded, making go on motions.  "It was also felt that your duty is considered a bad thing.  Almost genocidal."

"We don't touch anything that's not causing problems."

"We think they should go to jail instead."

"If you're sure, you can do that.  We won't work where we're not wanted.  How are you going to handle the vampire threat since there's a growing one?"

"We believe that they fit in the same category."

"Okay," she said, considering that.  "How are you going to feed them in jail?  Sacrifice a few prisoners every few days?"  He gaped.  She stared back.  "Most vampires need three pints a day according to the one I used to date in high school.  Most of them take about six a day."  He shuddered.

"No country's blood banks will have that much surplus.  So how do you plan on taking care of them in jail?"  He coughed, shrugging a bit.  "That's fine, I'm pulling the slayers away from your country.  If you want help, you'll ask.  Unless it's an apocalypse then all bets are off.  Because we can't let one of those start.  We'd let you guys try but I doubt you'd be able to handle one."

"There is a push to put slayers on trial for having killed some of our citizens."

She snorted.  "Vampires are no longer citizens once they lose their souls.  They died, that negates citizenship."  She had been thinking about this since checking the rumor mill.

"How do you know they don't have souls?"

"Again, dated one, history after history of them, all that.  I can find a few so you can ask if you want."  He blanched.  "There's only six in DC and they know if they try to attack a person or demon here I'm going to be there a few minutes later to stop it for good.  They eat out of the butcher shop.  Most of yours don't.  You've lost fifteen people this week to vampire attacks in your country.  If you really want to decimate your population that way, we can't stop idiocy.  We'll pull our girls back and tell them to stay out of Germany."

She leaned forward.  "For the trial idea?  You'd never get one of us on trial.  The UN said that we're outside all that because we're taking out problems.  The girls who hit all demons were ended before me."  He swallowed again.  "Other than that, I've already ordered her to stay away from Germany.  I hope your population survives.  No humans deserve to be a feeding pool like my former town was."

"Some do have souls," he sneered.

"Yes, and that's a very hard spell that Willow Rosenburg alone can do," she said bluntly. "It won't keep them from killing.  Both of the ones I know who got souled, really against their wills, could still fight, hunt, all that.   After all, a soul is only a shoulder angel telling you something is wrong."

He huffed.  "We think your kind are no longer welcome in Europe."

"You don't speak for all of Europe," John said as he walked in.  "I video called France, the Netherlands, Britain, Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, and Liechtenstein.  They're the only ones that will video conference.  Yesterday I talked to the Russians.  They all welcome the slayers openly and are sneering at your people.  Austria and France's heads both said they'd look into asylum for Germans fleeing the feeding frenzy going on. By the way, a soccer match today turned into a blood bath."   He held up the report the press secretary had gotten for him.  "You've now lost over a thousand people to vampires, Ambassador Hans.  Don't you believe that's enough?"  He stomped off.  He looked at Buffy.  "Nice job."

"Thank you.  Mary Beth's in France.  We have one we haven't been able to get hold of yet but Xander's going commando to do that.  He's not a slayer and they can't really stop a hunter beyond trying to say he killed them and he can claim self defense."

John nodded.  "Probably true."  He sat down in front of her desk.  "Anything on this big bad he heard or the trial that would take out one of your people?"

"Slightly on the second.  Xander had a vision he's not sharing."

"Huh.  Why not?"

"I don't know.  He won't tell me."

"I'll ask him if you want."

"Maybe.  The other thing, we think is coming out of Germany since they're all fleeing there to hide if they're evil.  The rest are moving to Austria and Switzerland from what I've been told."

"Decent."  He smiled.  "We'll handle it.  It can't be worse than a full scale invasion of the planet."

"We hope," she corrected.  "Never say it can't be worse because it will be."

"True.  I forgot that rule."  He smiled and left her alone to swear at Germany.  Jack was doing a good bit of it too.  He got himself, and his guard because the guy was paranoid, to the main Council building in Cleveland.  Xander looked up from his ice cream.  "What was it?"

"I'm going to be on trial for shooting at your pretty city because it's going to explode around you if you make it into space," he said quietly.

"For that, you call."

"During an emergency?"

"Good point."  He considered it.  "What did you see?"

"Willow checked, it's not there yet.  Rodney knows."

"Tell me anyway."  He handed over the account.  "Why not tell Buffy?"

"She doesn't need it on top of her former boyfriend deciding she's the root cause of all evil and trying to remove her and most of the slayers."

"This big bad?" the guard asked.

Xander stared at him.  "Are you on Riley's side or ours?"

"Yours, Harris.  What is it?"

He ate another bite of ice cream.  "Willow's going to lose it again.  Something on the city will zap her, put her out of control.   We're not sure if it's started or not.  Apparently the city hates magic."

"Did you warn her?" John asked.

"Yeah.  She's been zapped plenty of times and thinks that even if it makes her lose total control of her magic she can still contain it.  Apparently she's had a few minor test runs.  I had to tell her it was a vision and she wasn't going to handle it and the west coast was going to be a smoking island then she was going to go to Germany to pay them back for the idiocy over there.  It was going to make Pompeii look pretty."  John shuddered.  "I don't know what to do.  Willow can't stay off the city or out of the Mountain and I'm not sure that whatever's getting her isn't also there since she admitted one of those she was on base."  He finished his ice cream.  "Other than that, I don't know what's going on.  Half the demon population heard that and started to flee the west coast and Germany.  They're going to Switzerland.  There's some sort of hidden enclave inside a mountain that's a sanctuary."

"Okay," John said.  "You let me talk to Willow?"

"She knows it's a problem but she's denying she can't handle it."

"That's probably part of her blindness to her own addiction," the guard said.  Xander nodded.  "Is there something that can hold her?"

"Not if she goes full blown.  She can draw on power from all over the world if she opens herself to it.  Dawn might be able to but it'll kill Dawn to contain her."

"Knock her out?"

"Then we're looking at an uncontrolled explosion."

"Is there a spell that will allow Willow to go somewhere else?  Like another planet?" John asked.  Xander nodded.  "Get it to her.  Or me, and I'll use it when I talk to her."

Xander went to the library to get that book from the locked case, bringing it back.  "The whole book is on moving realms and spatially."

"Okay.  So what if she goes to explode somewhere else?"  Xander groaned, holding his head.  "Vision?" he guessed.  The guard nodded, helping him into his seat again.  Xander panted, looking at him.  "Will that work?"

"Denial.  She'll say she's fine and refuse to go."

"Can we avoid it by sending her now?"

Xander considered it.  "Maybe.  I'm not sure."

"That's fine.  She's going to Camelot then."  He smiled.  "There's an ancient outpost somewhere around there.  I'm betting it'll come out at the magic and the planet is all but evacuated.  It's got a terraformed moon apparently so she can head there and safely explode if she needs to."  Xander relaxed, nodding.  "Now, the Whistler guy said something about a trial?"

"Yeah, if I go take out the problem growing in Germany."

"Don't," John said.

"They can't handle it."

"They can.  They want to handle it on their own, let them," he ordered.  "It's against everything we both believe in but the people can escape.  Other countries are helping.  People are already fleeing.  It's up to them to fix their own shit."  Xander slumped, shaking his head.  "Why not?"

"Two slayers got kidnaped by German agents.  I need to get in there to get them.  One's one of my girls from Africa," he said quietly.

"Can you ask a favor from a higher demon who might be able to steal them?"

"Not without dating one."

"We can beam them out."

"You'd have to be able to lock on them and there's nothing in your system.  Neither one have ID vials.  That only started a few years ago."

"How were you going in?" the guard asked.  Xander showed him his plans.  "They'll know you're there."

"The girl in Russia is helping me."

John smirked.  "No, you let the Russians handle it.  They owe us."  He called Jack to tell him that.  "You come with me for now."

"I can't.  I'm the only adult in the house right now and we have two sick girls.  Demon chicken pox."

"Literally?" John asked.  He nodded.  "Let me get someone who wanted to study demon diseases."  He made that call.  "Doctor Lam, John Sheppard.  Want to look at demonic chicken pox?"  She answered in a way that made him smile.  "Main Council building.   We need Harris for a meeting and he's babying them."  She appeared before he could hang up.  "Show her, Xander."  He led her up there.  He came down dressed better.

"Cool.  Let's go."  He tagged him with a target and they went to the White House to fill in on the problems.  Buffy got very upset that the Germans stole a few of her slayers.  She was ready to storm Germany herself.  Jack got her calmed down.  Between him and Sheppard, they were excellent at planning battles and covert actions.  The girls would be free within minutes of the team finding them.


Xander was in DC waiting on the girls to get back, when he ran into a problem.  Everyone was giving him funny looks so he looked where they were.  "Hey, Cordy."  He smiled at the staring people.  "My ex girlfriend.  She's going to cut down my self esteem some more."  He looked at her.  "So?"

"It won't stop the problem."

"Which problem?  We've got three."


"Even if she's somewhere else it won't help?"


"Have you told John?"

"Why would I?"

"Because he's helping me figure out what to do about it."

She stared then nodded.  "I can try.  It still might not work."  She grimaced.  "You so need to shop, Xander.  You're still an ugly shirt wearing dork."

"Love you too," he quipped back sarcastically.  "But hey, I got better from Anya."  He smirked.

"She had centuries of practice more than me.  That's worse than the age gap Buffy's got."

"Well, not recently but you know how that goes," he said dryly.

"Point.  You do need laid.  It might make you happier."

"I have a date tonight.  I'll see if she's up to oral sex or not.  Anything else?"  She faded off.  He turned, finding a reporter.  "My ex."

"We didn't get her, even if I saw her," the reporter admitted.

Xander smirked.  "You're not using the right digital filter.  There's one that works on vampires too."  He walked off.  That was bad news on a grand scale.  How do you solve a problem like Willow?  He blocked off the Sound of Music reference before the damn song started again.  He did need a nice shirt for his date tonight.  She had been right about that.  And hey, maybe she'd like sex.  A lot of sex hopefully.


Cordelia faded in, looking at John with a smirk.  "Rodney's little zappy thing doesn't work on me."

"I can see that."

"Sending her away to another place won't stop it.  She'll still make it back here and Dawn will probably have to give up her corporeal existence to stop her."

"Small problem with that," Buffy said from behind her.  "Dawn's pregnant and ignoring it greatly."

"What?" she asked flatly.

"The kid is the probable rebirth they got warned about.  Which would be their dad.  Apparently he annoyed a lot of demons and then heaven when he finally go free of hell.  They want him back down here *badly*.  They tried to get you to come ascend him but apparently you were doing your nails."

"Shit!  No, we need Winchester down here in about twenty years when we're down to sixteen slayers.  He'll be the next Xander without the destiny to screw up the world.  Because the new game plan?  Kinda creepy and I'm glad I'm dead."  She faded out.

"That leaves one option," John decided, calling Rodney.  "Willow's magic is going spastic thanks to Atlantis.  I know I told you that.  The plans we had won't work.  Heard it from an Ascended your shield won't work on.  No, Chase, that comes from the Powers That Be.  I don't know, maybe because she has tentacles or something.  Anyway, check her for it.  See if a dose of Carson will help her."  He listened.  "Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, then it can be drained.  Thanks, Rodney."  He hung up.  "Sleeping Beauty."

"Then who's her prince since Tara's gone?" she asked quietly.  "I would've said Sam but she's firmly straight."

"I don't know why with how many of her boyfriends have died," he said dryly.  Buffy almost smiled at that.  "It'll be fine.  If we have to, we can test everyone to do that.  Maybe it'll get Rodney laid."

"Willow kinda got broken on guys with the whole Oz thing."

"Oz?"  She came in and sat down to tell him that story.   He nodded he understood it.  "I don't know what'll happen if she has to be kissed awake.  We don't know where Oz is."

"He's in Tibet," Jack's guard called.  "Still.  He's leading the secondary pack at the temple."

"Okay, thank you," she called.  "Have I mentioned they're kinda creepy?" she asked quietly.

He laughed but nodded.  "They can be.  And highly overprotective."

"So, how are you liking being saved by Xander?  It's still all over the news."

He snorted.  "About the same as being saved by my team only no huffing scientist to complain at me about dating."

"We need to go on a date night," she said, going to talk to Jack.  He was busy with Peru again.  She kissed him on the ear.  "Would you like a nice dinner in or out tonight?" she asked when he looked at her.

He gave her a weak smile.  "I'll be lucky to make it to bed tomorrow night.  The budget's out and it's a wreck."

She kissed him again.  "Then want dinner out tomorrow night?  No steak, I promise."

He smiled and nodded.  "We can go out tomorrow night."  She smiled and looked at something, pointing at it.  He looked and groaned.  "That's a demon enclave?"

"A sanctuary.  They have a group that's trying to destroy it.  The ones in there will fight back and the last I heard there's some powerful little brats in there.  Including the head pack bitch of a magically powerful group of demons."  She walked off.

Jack called that world leader to warn him about that.  It was the best he could do.  Maybe he could stop his own people for a change.  Then he got into the budget, making notes about things that sucked badly.  He had to look up some projects and cut them from the budget totally.  NID only needed a third of their budget.  The rest could go to more useful things.


Xander walked up to his date the next day, kissing her and taking the gun from her.  "Bad girl."  He swatted her on the ass, earning a glare.  He stared back.  "Bad, bad, evil girl.  No oral sex for you later."  The Secret Service pounced her.  "Pity, you were better than my last evil girlfriend."  He handed John the gun, walking off shaking his head.  "Aren't they back yet?"

"Tonight," he called, looking confused.  "Did he just... kiss her to save me?" he asked.

The guards both nodded.  "Yes, sir," one replied.

"Huh.  Interesting method.  I'll have to try that sometime when I'm being held hostage."  City cops showed up.  FBI showed up.  John watched them arrest her and lead her off.  He blew a kiss.  "Maybe you can get bail and have another night of Xander," he called after her.

"Don't encourage that," one of the FBI agents growled.  "That man is a danger to all of us when he dates."  He stomped off.

"Just for that I'm going gay and dating senior agents only!" Xander shouted from where he was getting coffee.  The agent growled but huffed off.  Xander smiled at John.  "Welcome."

"Don't you date normal girls?"

"No, never.  Sorry.  I didn't mean to let that one go so soon.  Clearly I hadn't warped her enough yet.  Must've needed more oral sex.  My last one I did it to long term went from torturing people to wanting sex all day," he told the watching agents.  "Clearly not enough exposure.  I'll have to plan my next date better."  He smiled.

"Give us a warning if you're dating in DC, sir," John's guard ordered.

"Sure.  Two weeks ago I dated a director."  He sipped his coffee, smiling at John.

"I wondered what made her evil," one of the agents muttered.   They got John back to safety inside the car and took him back to the Senate since his lunch break was up now.  This was going in the urban legends book for sure.


Dean watched Sam watch Dawn getting sick.  "Ginger ale," he ordered in his little brother's ear.

"She can't be."

"The angel said they were getting tired of Dad."

"Good point."  He went to get her something to settle her stomach and brought it back.  Dawn was insisting she wasn't pregnant, there was no way she was pregnant, and she was going to stay not pregnant.  "Then let's take a test," Sam said, sounding reasonable.  "Please?  We can go to the health department or pick up a home version, either one."

She sat down, staring at him and pouting.  "I'm not ready to be a mom yet."

"Neither am I," he quipped.

"You're both girls so you'd both be mothers?" Dean joked.

"Shut up, Dean," Dawn and Sam said together.

"Do you know how much warding we'll have to do in case my blood starts to open portals again?" she asked Sam.

"Bobby's really good at that," he offered.

"If she's pregnant she's only allowed to research," Gunn yelled from downstairs.

"That too," Dean agreed.  "How did you know?" he called.

"Buffy's email."

"Shit," Dawn muttered.  Sam smiled, helping her up so she could brush her teeth and do a listerine rinse.  Then they walked out together to hit the health department.  It was like the world was against her some days.

Dean walked downstairs after cleaning up the small mess, shaking his head.  "How bad could her blood be?" he asked.

"She had a hell goddess after her blood to open portals to another realm to pull it here," Connor told him.  "That's even worse than me being stolen and raised on a demon realm.  I'm not changing diapers."

"I doubt she'd let you, Connor, you might scowl and traumatize the baby," Dean quipped.  Connor nodded he was right.  He looked at Gunn, who shrugged.  "Fine, we'll figure that part out.  Let me call Bobby."  He walked upstairs to get his cellphone and call from there for some privacy.  "Bobby, Dean."  He leaned back on his bed.  "No, things are going okay out here.  Need me?   Well, I doubt we'll get Sammy away from Dawn's stomach anytime soon," he said dryly.  "Yes.  What, exactly, was the Key?"  He listened to him wonder.  "I know it has something to do with inter-dimensional portals."

Bobby found that mention and read it from the book.  "Okay, that would explain why we'll have to do a lot of warding for the labor.  Oh, and the one that got them hitched said it might be Dad being reborn."  He listened to the choking and smiled.  "Yeah, we can do that.  No, at the health department making sure that's why she pukes all morning and glows all afternoon," he said dryly.  "Thanks, man, we can be there in about a week.  Yup.  Or I'll send him and Dawn if I'm needed here.  Thanks, Bobby."  He hung up and texted that to Sam's phone.  South Dakota might be good for Dawn and the baby.


Buffy got the text message and looked, sending one back.  Everyone in the room looked at her.  "Sorry, news from my sister.  She's on the detail in LA right now."  She finished it and turned her phone off, which she thought she had.  It rang again.  "I know I turned you off," she said dryly.  She muted the ringer instead and answered her.  Jack leaned over and snickered.  "Yeah, she's freaking out majorly."

"Why?" the woman at their table asked.

"She's newly married and might've slipped up on her pill regimen.  The wailing at the health department apparently took over an hour."  The woman gaped in horror.  "She's pregnant."

"Oh.  I was hoping your sister didn't have that sort of problem."

"No.  Just a bit of fussing right now.  I reminded her how often she jumped her new husband."  She sent another text and then shut her phone off again.  That would work.  She hoped.  She'd wail at Xander.  Cordelia faded in and stared at her then shook her head quickly before fading out again.

"We've got to find a way to block Cordelia," Jack decided.

"Yup."  They nibbled on the nice, unusually large, salad for the luncheon they had to attend because it was honoring a general Jack liked.


Willow pouted.  "I'm not building too much."

Rodney put the sensors on her and looked back at her.  "You are so.  You're glowing in dim rooms, Willow."

"But I can't feel any."

"Which is probably the zap you took last night."  She slumped further.  He checked the readings coming off her.  She always radiated when her magic was high.  It had driven them nuts for days until they had figured out what kept messing up machines.  "It's twice what it was when you had that cold," he said quietly, letting her see.

She went pale.  "That's really bad."

"It is," he agreed.  He looked at her.  "Can you consciously dump it?"

"Only if I'm in a trance."  She considered it.  "That level might take forever."

He patted her on the shoulder.  "Start now.  If we have to, we'll drug you down into that state, drop a feeding tube, and come visit you for a week or so."  She nodded, dropping down into her usual meditation state.  He watched the readings.  "Willow, it's growing," he said.  She groaned.  He looked, she was glowing brightly now.  So he had to fix this emergency in the making.  He knocked her out with the tranquilizer he had with him just in case.  She went limp.

He called Doctor Lam to join him and help him suck it out of her.  They decided on a semi-stasis state.  It wouldn't drop her fully down but fully enough to let them not need a feeding tube.  They could suck all the excess magical radiation out of her during it and she wouldn't feel a thing.  He stroked over her hair.  "You'll be fine.  We'll see you in a few weeks," he told her.  He started the stasis module and the leeching configuration.  Willow's glow slowly went up then started to fade again.  He stroked her hair again and she let it drain her better.  Apparently she was aware enough to dream.  "I'll check on you tomorrow."

He left, leaving it in the Doctor's hands.  He could understand the allure of having so much power at your fingertips.  He'd had that after that one machine had zapped him into nearly ascending.  It was the same level of power as he had registered.  It would've been so easy to try to keep it, or try to reach the ascended state again, but he knew he'd always want more knowledge and that would take it from him.  It would've taken him from Atlantis and life.  He couldn't allow that.


John called Xander, making him relax about two less threats suddenly.  That only left the one.  He had a sneaking suspicion about things.  He went to find Buffy, finding her head down in her office.  "New event?"

"Yes," she mumbled.  "Formal dress I can't rewear."

"So take them to a consignment shop or donate them to a charity.  There's one that gives underprivileged girls prom gowns."

Buffy looked up.  "I could like that."  She smiled.  "You look worried."

"If the main Council house in Cleveland is attacked, how much ordinance do you have stored that might explode and destroy the world?"

She considered it.  "A few pieces of light artillery the last I knew but Xander has been in charge," she admitted.  "We can go look if you want."


"Definitely."  He grinned.  "Why?"

"Willow's taking her long nap.  The girls are back from Germany.  That leaves your ex's suicidal mission to kill you all as a current problem."

"And seeing if Wolfram and Hart is doing something else."

"Does it never end for you guys?"

"No," she sighed.  "We wish sometimes *so* hard but wish demons haven't been obliging yet."

"Okay.  We'll go over for dinner?"

"Sure.  Andrew's back and he's a pretty good cook," she promised with a grin.  Jack walked past.  "Want to eat dinner with Faith and the girls?" she called.

"Can't.  I'll be on the Eisenhower."

"Why?" John called.

"New rank day for a general, I served with him and it's long overdue."

"Sure.  We're going to see if the house has any issues that might come up if Finn tries it."

Jack looked at him.  "Don't tell me they have artillery."

"Not much according to her."

"Yay," Jack said flatly. "Fix that shit, Sheppard."

"They might need it."

"Yay," he repeated just as flatly.  He walked off shaking his head.

John looked at her.  "So I guess we can have an early dinner if you want."  She texted that to Faith and then put her head back down.  He laughed.  "Happy shopping, princess of the pink."

"I'm *so* going to wear something different this time to stop that name," she complained.  She looked up at him.  "Someone asked me if I was the Pink Power Ranger the other day.  It was a little girl so I couldn't get upset."

He laughed.  "Add some spice to your wardrobe."  He walked off cackling at that image.

"Mean shit," she muttered, putting her head back down.  "Bethany, we have to shop again," she called.

"Of course you do, you don't really have a winter wardrobe, Mrs. O'Neill."  She came in with her social calendar.  "Let's see, I'm seeing two formal events."  Buffy handed over the one from under her head.  "That's three then.  Hmm, one's in six weeks.  That's a bit soon.  We should also find you a designer that will make you look fantastic, yet not slutty."

"Versace?  I always wanted to try them," she mumbled.

"That may work, we'll have to make sure it's still tasteful," she decided.  "Come along.  That way you and the Colonel can go eat with your slayers.  Is Mr. Harris still single?"

"Yup, he only dates evil things."

"Pity.  If he liked nice women one of my sorority sisters thinks he's the cat's meow."

Buffy looked at her.  "Is she a bad girl?"

"No, she grew out of that phase."

"Then the next time he's in, ask him.  We'd all like him to date someone nice."

"I shall."  She gathered their jackets, Buffy's shopping card, and checked the balance on the way out.  They went to check out the Versace collection as requested.  They would do a lot of good for her figure. They had a few dresses that were a bit short but could be classy with the right accessories.  They got a good consult, found a suit that would look good on her, and a few other dresses for dates.  Nothing too risque of course.   For the formal ones, Buffy found three that she liked that were nice, but a bit too flashy and modern for a president's wife.

Her husband would definitely swallow his tongue about any of them.  "Well, one is for the Art Smithsonian," she admitted, looking at the black dress with the asymmetrical, ruffled ballgown skirt.  It looked gorgeous on her.   There was an off-white one with a chainmail looking corset that did wonderful things for her figure.  There were a few that were all covering that had a longer look but it was a shorter in front/longer in back or a high slit on it looking skirt.  A deep purple one with a neckline at the throat but it had a cutout over one breast that showed a bit of cleavage and skin that had a high slit.  Not really demure but pretty on her.  "You'll probably need five this year," Bethany told her.

Buffy considered it, picking the black silk banded, asymmetrical ballgown and the off white corset dress if they could change the corset to something less military oriented.  They talked to the designer and he knew what she wanted.  They purchased those and went to look at a few more fall collections and dresses.  Buffy found something for the Marine Corps Ball, which was months off, but she still would look nice next to her husband's dress uniform.  A few more outfits and then they went to clean out her closet of things that couldn't really be used over and what could be donated or sold at consignment.  She was good about that.  They decided to donate them.  Jack would be pleased about that.

Buffy leaned into John's office.  "We're donating some of the stuff I can't wear to the people that help by giving people clothes for interviews."

"If you wait until tomorrow I can clean out my own closet and donate a few things too," he agreed with a smile.  "Did you find something nice?"

"A few things."  She grinned.  "Versace was way cool and a lot like my style."  She walked off.  "Bethany, he said he'd clean out his closets tonight so we can donate them at the same time."

"That's fine, Mrs. O'Neill."  She smiled.  "All yours are boxed up.  The new things are hanging up.  That one dress will be ready in about three weeks."  Buffy smiled.  "You should call and warn them you're coming."

"I texted Faith," she said happily.  "Andrew's cooking."  She got a smile back.  "Anything else I have to do today?"

"No, not that I'm aware of.  Should I slip word that you're donating there?"

She shrugged.  "I don't want to make a big deal of it but it's the right thing to do."

"Good point."  She smiled and Buffy closed up her office, going to change into jeans and a t-shirt so she could go back to her sister slayers for the night.  John came out of his and joined her, getting them there.  She made a note to the press secretary so he could slip it in a good ear but that she didn't want to make a big deal of it.  Plus that nothing new was pink.  It was a big step in the right direction.


After the girls had dragged Buffy off to go over their homework, John looked at Xander.  "A question came up from Cam.  If they attack the house, how much of Cleveland will be blown up because the armory gets breached?" he asked quietly.

"I haven't stocked a lot."  He led him to the armory.

John found the nicely hidden door and looked then at him.  "I went to Pegasus with less than this, Xander."

He shrugged.  "Sometimes you need it.  Not like I want to have to break onto a reserve base to find something immediate."

"No, you probably shouldn't."  He went over everything.  "Is this the main armory?"

"Kinda.  Why?"

"Because the ATF would freak out," John said bluntly.

"We have an ATF agent who is now our arms master.  The Secret Service said so."

"Good idea."  He went to talk to him.  He knew Xander had to have some stuff hidden from them.  A failsafe, something.  Turns out the guy knew, had an inventory list, and was planning on talking to him about securing things better in case of demonic attack.  They sat down in the kitchen to go over what needed to happen in case it was Riley with a bomb in the armory instead of a demon with magic in the foyer.  It was a good talk and they got things worked out so things were safer.  Buffy came in to help during it, swatting him for not letting her pet the artillery.  John shook his head.  Gun nuts were strange, especially since she didn't like guns but loved artillery.


Jack walked into their apartment that night, looking around.  "Jacques, what's with the bags?" he called.

"Your wife cleaned out her closet to donate some things she couldn't wear," he said, coming out to take his suit from him so it could be cleaned.  "It gave her enough room for some new things."

"Huh.  When's the next formal thing?"

"The Art museum at the Smithsonian, sir."

"Hmm."  He went to browse in her closet.  It was nice, there was less pink.  He saw a gown bag and looked, blinking.  "Huh."  He closed it back up and walked out there.  "Did she want to surprise me?"

"I believe she more wanted to look like a proper sultry wife, sir."

"I'm sure she can."  He walked toward the bathroom.  "Have a good night, Jacques."

"You as well, sir."  He went to his own quarters for the night, happier that they were slowly eradicating the threat of pink in the white house.

Jack smiled.  His wife was bouncy but pretty and liked to stun him stupid at times.  He knew nothing about fashion but she always looked very nice.  He came out to sort through his own closet, putting some things in the bags with hers.  She came in and caught him doing it, earning a kiss.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  We've made sure the Council House won't explode the whole city if Riley does something stupid."  She took another kiss.  "Did you peek?"

"Just at the one black dress without a neckline.  Fairly daring," he teased.

"I look like the Goddess in it," she assured him.  She took another kiss.  "I'm all set for at least six months, pending an emergency formal thing."

"That's wonderful," he teased.

"I spent under nine grand."  He beamed at that.  "Of my own money."  He kissed her.  That was very thoughtful of her.  She was good about that.


The night of the art ball, John caught sight of them and stared, mouth slightly open.  "Wow," he decided.  "That's...  not your usual dress."

"I figured it'd go well around all the arty stuff," she quipped with a smile.

"Very well.  You look wonderful tonight as well, sir."

Jack snorted.  "I'm a frame for the picture of wonderfulness."

John nodded.  "She'll definitely fit in.  Have fun tonight and be safe."

"I doubt they'd be stupid enough to blow up a museum.  Though I don't remember if Riley likes art or not," she admitted.   John pointed at the guards, who got a look over.  "Brush your teeth," she sighed.  One went to do that.  "I meant Blinky, not you."  He went to do that too.  They waited, Jack shaking his head.  "Anyway, working late?"

"Yes, some stupidity got introduced and I'm working on how to stop it."

"Gun barrel to the head stupidity or lesser?" Jack asked.  John got him his copy, letting him read it.  "Yeah, gun barrel to the head stupidity."  He handed it back.  "Hell if I know. Ours have asylum."  He walked her off once the guards were back.  She really did look pretty in that dress.  Flashing just a bit of leg.  It'd probably look fantastic when they danced.  It also went well with the art theme of the museum.  He was going so mentally gushy she had to stop it by kissing him stupid.  Which always seemed to work for her.


Jack looked up as Maybourne was let into his office.  "What do you want?" he demanded.

"Three things.  Three submitted projects."

"You're NID.  If they're warning us, it's horrible."

Buffy strolled in, taking them to look over.  "Since we've now arrested six of you guys trying to kidnap my girls."  The man glared.  She glared back.  "I don't have a problem with thumping you around and it'll only make Jack coo at my bruised knuckles."  She read it over.  "One to get Ronon?"

"John's," Jack said quietly.  She handed over two when he held out a hand.  "Yours too."  He read them over.  "You know what?  I'm about to shut your people down," he told Maybourne.

"If you do, they go private sector, where they have zero oversight."

"But they can be arrested then," she pointed out dryly.  She smiled sweetly.  "For some reason the police hand the ones we have arrested to an agent, who releases them back to you."

"I haven't heard of any of us being arrested in Cleveland," he admitted.

"Oh, he won't go near Xander.  He's not that dumb.  He got near the girl in South Dakota twice.  He got near the LA team once and Dawn turned him back from the twisted looking amphibian creature she turned him into in the police station with a warning he had just tried to snatch her.  I about sent Xander out at them for that."

"I'm all for sending Xander at the NID," John said as he walked in.  He handed over the other one.  "I'm avoiding the senate today before I do shoot someone to put them out of the harm of the universe."  Jack read it over, handing over the NID programs.  "Huh.  Well, we have citizenship papers for Teal'c, Ronon, and Teyla, plus her son," he said bluntly.  "They can't get in the mountain or on the city."

"They can try," Maybourne warned.

"Then they can be shot," John said bluntly.  He handed them back to Buffy.  That got him given a dirty look.  "She'll send Xander at them and you won't have an agency."

Jack looked up.  "Who?"

"One of the fundies.  One of the really loud fundies."

"Fuck 'em," Jack muttered.  Buffy took it to look over then faxed it somewhere.  "Where is that going?"

"Willow's office to warn them since you guys have a few other lesser witches on staff."  She called Xander and read it to him.  He sent back a sigh and a 'come arrest the NID weenie parts' so he could handle it for her.  "They are terminally stupid.  One went against Xander."

"Oh, shit," John muttered.  "Buffy, are you missing any?"

"Not that I'm aware of but I'm being kept out of the loop.  Xander would know."

Jack looked at her.  "Not Giles?"

"Giles learned how to be a really good field watcher with me," Buffy told him.  "But he's doing good rebuilding things.  He doesn't really click with most of the girls.  He gives them a lot of confused looks.  He was way relieved to have Xander back in the US because he was being overloaded.  He's got the ultimate case of 'I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm doing the best I can' going on."

"I've had that," Jack admitted.  "I know Daniel said he's been very happy to have another book nerd around."  He looked at Maybourne.  "Can't you stop them?"

"Not fully," he admitted.  "I've tried.  There's a few universities that would allow the research on a genetics basis."

"Nope nope nope nope nope," Buffy said, shaking her head.  She looked at John.  "Want to go save his weenies that went against Xander?"

"If I could put out a presidential order I'd merge it with Area 51 and give them harsher oversight and ethics," John said.

Xander was let in dragging two agents and the agent with him dragging another.  "The federal government really can't do anything about these people, Mr. Harris," he mimicked.  "They're not covered under the Internal Affairs portions of any major agency and they only get grants from us.  They should be covered by civilian law enforcement."

The agent snorted.  "Civilian law enforcement isn't meant to handle researchers who have a bright idea and a microscope.  That's the FBI's job," he mimicked.  They dropped them.

Maybourne looked.  "They're not even the ones that gave the project to dissect a few of the slayers.  They are fired however."

"That's good.  One's also dead.  He tried to pounce one of the really young girls as she got off the bus and the officer had to shoot him to get him off her throat with the knife."  He handed over that picture.  "I'm going to start shooting them soon.  I'm sorry but I'm not liking this risk and I'll be damned," he told Jack.  He looked at his agent.  "So, we done?"

"Probably not."

"The girls are panicky and we left Faith in charge."

"Good point.  I'll go.  You explain."  He smirked and left.

Xander looked at Jack again.  "For some reason he thinks I'm scary too," he said dryly.  He looked at the guy he didn't know.  He had to be the NID weenie Buffy had wanted saved from.  "Are you like them?"


"Then why can't you stop them?"

"They'll take them private sector."

"I say we trade them all to Iran for the three civies they arrested for daring to hike," Xander said.

"That would cause more problems, Xander.  They need to be contained."

"So put someone like Frau over them," Xander said with a small shrug.  "Only less Nazi."

"I like the idea to merge them with Area 51," John admitted.  "Much stricter oversight."

"Not that much but there is a project where they can have that sort of browbeating."  He called that director up to talk to him.  She was more than pleased to take the failures to science in and beat them for them.  "Maybourne, you're being reassigned.  They're going under Gretchen Wilders."  Maybourne shuddered.  "Exactly."  He smirked evilly at his former nemesis.  "Guys?" he called.  His guards came in and glared at Xander.  "I was wondering why you let them drag them in."

Xander dug out one's ID, holding it up with an evil smirk of his own.  Jack snatched it and glared at his guards, who shrugged.  "We have no idea, sir, we were calling our boss."  They frisked the others, finding their ID's.  "This one's a project I know nothing about."

Jack took it to look at.  "That's Gretchen's person already.  I'll lay down the law about that."  He smirked at Maybourne.  "I want a list of all those who went private recently and their projects."

"Sure.  Am I being officially shut?"


"Fine.  Make me retire and hunt."

"If you're going to start hunting demons, make sure they're doing bad things, not all of them," Buffy ordered.  "Also, stock up on rock salt and silver."  He shook his head, walking out.

"Two days," Jack called after him.  He looked at Xander.  "You didn't have to drag them."

"The FBI said for me to bring them to you," he admitted.  "That this was beyond their mandate, they had seen all three of these guys before, and had no idea how to stop them.  Our local Homeland office has their thumbs up their asses again so they refused to even consider arresting them."

"That'll change," Jack muttered.  "Who?"  Xander pulled off a wire and handed it over with a smirk.  "Thanks, kid."

"I have the last few's tapes in the desk at the office."

"Even better.  John can come get them tonight."

John nodded at that.  "Are they working with NID, sir, or possibly Riley Finn?"

"I don't know yet," Jack said, looking at his guards.  "Figure that out for me."

"Yes, sir."  They had them carted off to be talked to.  Doing that was almost at the level of treason because it was taking out the protectors of the United States.

"Can't I smite my ex?" Buffy sighed, sitting down.

"You should ask Giles if he can beat him again.  Riley barely got away from him and Jackson last night."  Buffy stared at him.  "He's fine.  Kamria was with them and spotted him.  Giles questioned him but wouldn't tell me what he got."

"He'll tell me," she said, calling him.  "Giles, Buffy.  What did Riley say when you beat the snot out of him?  I am sitting here with my husband and he is pissed off about Riley too since he tried to kill him.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "Daniel emailed it to you, Jack."

He got into his email, finding it in the SG account.  He scanned the tape then let them see it.  That was really bad.

"Why is it my fault?" Xander demanded.

"CPR?" Buffy guessed.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"You're more easily killed than Willow," John pointed out.  "Plus that would change the slayers a lot."  He kept going, nodding.  "I'm so adding to your guards, Xander."

"We don't need armed guards.  The girls would pounce them," Xander complained.  "They'd become armed pets."

"Teal'c said Istha wanted to see if her warriors were any good against slayers," Jack said, considering it.  "Ronon and Teyla might too."

"Her son," John said quietly.

"True, that's a dangerous spot to bring him."  He looked at him.  "Ask?"

"I can do that."  He smiled at Xander.  "We'll make sure the girls know they're not pets."

"They'll still be cooed at pets," Buffy assured him dryly.  "My girls are usually girly girls."

"It'll be fine," John assured her.  "Sir, Istha?"

"I'll ask Teal'c," he said, calling Landry to pass that on.  And the warning about the NID.  Xander got paged back home by a social worker, making him groan and go back to explain why humans were attacking their girls.  Buffy went back to help with that too.


Ronon was let into the house by John, Teyla and her son behind him.  Behind them were three of Istha's warriors and a few Marines who wanted to do something down here.  John walked around them.  "Guys, this is the Slayer house in Cleveland."

Faith leaned out of the kitchen.  "Are we giving tours?  Because half of us are in jammies."

"No, these guys are here to help you," John said with a smile.  "These are people that Jack and I trust to help you."

"Cool."  She walked out, looking at the big, buff guy in front.  She smirked.  "You look powerful."

"Ronon's one of the best warriors I've seen," John told her with a smile.  "He's here to help with the sparring and all that."

"We have a few of the really mini here," she warned him.  "Ladies, fall in, visitors," she called.

"I have stuff on my face," one called.

"So?"  They came tromping down the stairs.  All twenty of the girls stared at them, one grinning shyly at Teyla and waving at her son.

"Teyla is an excellent warrior," John told them with a grin.  "Ronon is too.  We found both of them in Pegasus.  Ronon's the sort to be pretty damn scary when he wants to be.  Teyla's here to help with some training you girls might not have.  She teaches an armed combat style with bantos rods.  These three fine warriors are from a tribe that mimics the Amazon way because the person who had them enslaved hated women."  The girls all smiled at them.  "The last are a few guys from the base that wanted to come help you ladies.  They're all about to time out of the Marines.  They wanted to try this to see if they might make good field watchers."

"Cool beans," Faith said, nodding.  "That'll work and we have rooms."

Xander appeared in a flash of light.  "Dawn's seriously nagging Sam today.  Early mood swing and now she's crying on him like she's beaten him.  I advised him to do her more, it'd help her moods."  He looked around.  "Ladies, we will not hit on them unless they seem receptive and if they seem receptive to those of you who are under age, they're toast," he said.  "Kylia, some goop in your eyebrow."

"I had an ingrown hair," she complained.

"Fine.  Take them up to settle them in.  Andrew, extra people to feed."

"Good!  And you forgot lunch.  Don't make me nag.  Buffy said I had to."

"I was off beating the hell out of NID people," he shot back.  "I got a latte when I went to calm Dawn down."  He spotted the kid and smiled, waving.  "Hi, little guy."  He smiled and waved back.  "We have a crib around here somewhere for him if you want, Teyla."  She smiled and nodded.  "Girls.  Orders.  Shoo."  They led them up to the empty rooms.  He looked at Faith, who was staring at Ronon's backside.  "You're an adult," he reminded her.  "He's an adult.  Spar with the man."  He looked at John then walked off.  "I'll try to protect their virginity, boss, but I can't be certain it'll stick."

"That's fine, Xander.  They're big people, they can beat off anyone who needs it."  He smiled at Faith.  "He's very strong, Faith, but don't break him."

"If he's breakable I'd probably never try."

"Everyone is breakable," he pointed out dryly.  "He can play though."

She smirked and went to introduce herself.  She was the technical head slayer of the house.  The girls were either chatting with Teyla or talking with the warrior women so that left the studly one all for her.  "Sparring after dinner," she reminded them.  They went to get the gym ready.  They had been messy earlier.  She smirked at Ronon.  "So, how breakable are you?"

He smirked back.  "Not very.  Are you willing to try?"

She looked him over.  "A whole lot."  She walked off with a smirk.

He stared at her.  "She was making a pass?" he asked quietly.  Teyla smiled and nodded.  "Good.  We'll see if she's worthy during sparring."  He went to check on their gym and armory.  In case they needed more things.


John reappeared after the post-dinner sparring with Buffy.  "They are so happy to have other warriors to learn from.  Teyla's son will never learn to walk and think that cooing is a language down here.  The Amazons agreed Teyla was very good.  Ronon nearly growled in pleasure at Faith's performance.  I think it'll work and those marines might make good field watchers."

"They might," Buffy agreed.  "They've seen stranger."  She smiled at her tired looking husband, moving to work on his neck again.  It always helped him.  "Budget or Germany?"

"Germany."  He patted her hands.  "Maybourne said that someone came up with a retrovirus against vampires.  That it'd kill the virus that's keeping them alive."  She purred at that.  "That's chemical warfare though."

"Drop it in one nest and watch it go sort?" she asked.  He nodded.  "Will he turn it over to the Council?"

"No.  It's dangerous, Buffy, and a bad precedent to set."

She sighed.  "I know.  But so are stake shooters and a few of the hunters have figured those out."

He smirked.  "That might be handy, yeah."

"They look like Rambo with them."

"Probably," John agreed.  "But handy when you have to take down a nest."

"Anything on them goes bye-bye though, including information and jewelry."

"What do people do with the things left in nests?" Jack asked.

"In the old days it fed our Chinese and pizza habits during research and bought wood for stakes.  These days, we donate it somewhere and the regular hunters probably take it.  They don't get paid so they probably need it."  She slid into his lap.  "I know one of the hunters Dean knows ran into a demon that was selling arms while keeping an unwilling harem."  Jack shuddered.  "He ended the demon, released the harem, and went looting.  When he found the weapons room he took what he could reasonably have and then called the ATF."

"That's probably why they were giving you dirty looks," John quipped.

"Probably," Jack agreed.  "How many demon arms dealers are there?"

"I don't know, ask Xander?" she suggested with a smile.  "I'd only coo over the artillery, honey."  She took a quick kiss and got back to work on his neck.  She smirked at John.  "Bored?"

"Incredibly so."  He walked out with a wave over his shoulder.  "Have fun, guys."

Jack smirked.  "He thinks I'm much more wild than I am."

She shrugged.  "It's all good in the end.  If dreaming about us makes him have happies I'm fine with it."

He snickered, giving her a hug.  "I'll be up on about an hour."

"I'm going to soak then."  She winked and walked off.

Jack smirked.  That means he'd have a soft, nice smelling, newly shaved wife waiting on him upstairs.  He got back to the dreaded mundane crap that annoyed him so much.  He kept repeating over and over 'two and a half more years'.  It was cheering him up more than the wife could.

The End.

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