Title: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Email address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Pairings: Deke (who is played by Dennis Rodman for those who don't know)/Matt
Fandom: Soldier of Fortune.
Disclaimers: not mine, just a sudden thought. I mean no harm, but I think Rodman would get a
kick out of it at least.
Summary: Just a silly little thing.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Deke Reynolds walked into the Silver Star bar, waving his wand around. The silver instrument
gleamed in the dull light, adding a shine to his gold ball gown. The gown itself was a beautiful
specimen, the sparkles and glitter were placed in delicate patterns; the jewels sewn on glowed
with their own light, matching the jewelry he wore around his neck and in his tiara.
"What are you supposed to be?" Benny Ray Riddle asked, snickering at the outfit his friend and
team member wore.
"I got appointed to the job of Fairy Godmother. Unfortunately, this is the regulation uniform."
Hee looked down at it. "It's not that bad, but the heels are killer. No support at all." He smiled
as Margo Vincent and Matt Shepard walked down from the office upstairs of the bar. "Hey, I got
appointed to a new job. I'm going to have to fall back to part-time status. I knew you guys would
understand." He waved his wand around a little, creating pretty little lights in the air.
Margo choked, then bit her bottom lip. "Um, Deke, whose idea was this?"
"The last one just needed to get away for a while and I was there. Apparently I'm the first man in
forever so the regulation outfit is this." He looked down at it. "It's hard to run in, but it'll do. It's
comfortable enough, especially since they took away the corset." Deke winked at her. "At least
they left the thong." He waved his wand again and turned, running into Benny Ray. "You
"Yeah, to know what game you're playing at now," Benny Ray said, taking a long look over the
dress. "That's some costume you got going, but it's a bit over the top, don't you think?"
Deke gave him a bland look, waving him on. "Get it out of your system now."
"I mean," Benny Ray said, taking a step back, "you're dressed worse than any southern beauty
queen I've seen. Even the tacky ones don't go that far with their outfits."
"Benny Ray," Matt warned.
"No, let him say it," Deke said, shaking his head. "Come on, spill the rest."
"You look like some tramp dressed up to impress her rich client's maiden aunt. I've seen whores
on the Boulevard that had on better outfits. I mean, the fabric's pretty on you, but the jewels are a
bit much, aren't they?"
Deke sighed. "You done?"
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Thanks."
"Welcome," Deke said, waving his wand. In place of Benny Ray stood one of the ugliest iguanas
ever seen. It hissed at him. "You should know better than to diss a man's uniform," he said,
bending down to talk to the lizard. "Deal with it."
Margo walked around to look at what used to be Benny Ray. "Don't like frogs?" she asked,
stopping the giggles.
"They're very blase, just so fourteenth century." He waved his wand and disappeared. "I'll call
when I'm free but I have my cellphone."
Matt Shepard woke up screaming, looking around the room in shock. Deke sat up, rubbing down
his back. "Nightmare?" the big man asked.
"Yeah, but at least it wasn't a horrible one." He looked at his lover. "Whatever you do, please
don't turn Benny Ray into an iguana, he's allergic to them." Matt lay back down, staring at the
ceiling. "Though, you looked really pretty in the dress."
"Thanks. What dress?"
Matt looked at him. "The gold one with sparkles. Your Fairy Godmother outfit."
"When did you see me in that?" he asked, brow wrinkling.
Matt groaned and rolled over, hiding his head under the pillows. "I don't want to know, Deke,
please, I really don't want to know."
"Don't ask, don't tell," Deke whispered, laying down with the biggest grin on his face.