Title: Interesting Revelations
Series: Mental Torture (Or the I'm Better at Mind Fucks Than You Are) Series
Email address: to list or email@example.com
Rating: Still PG, just wait until the next one.
Fandom: Austin Powers.
Other website: Voracity.tripod.com
Disclaimers: Do you really think I own them? If I did, wouldn't I have someone to take care of the laundry monster that's trying to hunt me down and eliminate me? Wouldn't I be getting sleep almost every night? Needless to say since those two conditions haven't been met, I don't own these characters.
Summary: Scott shows more of his hand.
Warnings: my humor muse? Maybe?
Scott looked up from his reading as someone entered his room, pointing at the door. "Knock or leave. I do have the right to privacy."
"Son, you don't have the right to live without my express permission." Doctor Evil sat on the chair facing the bed, frowning at his son. "Why did you do that to me, son?"
He rolled onto his side, going back to his reading. "I don't answer rude people. And if you kill me, all my shares go to her permanently." He smiled as his father stormed out of his room, pressing a button on the stereo's remote. "Get over it, duffus, you wanted bad, now you're gonna have to live with me."
Chastity walked back into the meeting room, still smiling and happy. "Wow, that park across the street is the bomb for touching nature." She took her seat. "So, everything's cool now?"
"More or less," Number Two told her. "We've accepted Scott's plan and we'll begin to familiarize you with our operations this afternoon." He shifted so he was leaning back. "Let me ask you a few questions. How do you feel about the state of the economy?"
"It's like totally gross these days. All those poor and hungry people that the government is oppressing with the tax structure. I think it's the role of big business to correct some of that, especially since everyone knows that they have all of the powers-in-charge in their pockets." She looked around. "Who decorated? This place is grossly lifeless and stale."
"I did," Doctor Evil said, glaring at her. "What's wrong with it?"
"Do you have an aversion to growing things? Maybe some oxygen exchange to help our brains work a little faster and easier? Or even some color? I *like* gray and all, but everything's gray. It's a bit redundant, makes me think that someone's over-focused on some topic. Maybe like his childhood." She smiled at him. "Not that I think you are, but I think your decorator has problems."
"Not anymore," he said. "How do you feel about world domination, Ms. LaGrain?"
"Ya know, since we're gonna be working together and all, you might as well call me Chastity. I mean, it is my name and all." She smiled at Number Two, who gave her one back. "As for that, I'm firmly against it. This global thing we've got going is a *great* and *wondrous* thing. All the different cultures merging, giving a little of itself up so we can understand each other. It's sorta like a stew. The meat and veggies all give up part of their flavor to the broth so it becomes a harmonious whole." She turned so she was looking at Frau. "Why would I want to dominate someone else whose ways I didn't understand? It's not as if most of the countries in the world don't have their own problems, well maybe except for Canada, but I'm firmly on the side of 'no' here. There is no *one* right way, and even if there was, it's not my place to give it out and I doubt that anyone would agree with my ways. Humans are *way* over competitive; I've always tried to break my daughter of that habit. We need to fix that before we wear ourselves out with our over-proliferation of nukes. Men can do a great deal of damage right now, more so than at any other time in history. It's something we should be trying to fix, not trying to help happen. We aren't into that here, right?" she asked Frau.
"No, dear, we do research and things of that nature." She reached over to pat a tanned hand. "We'll show you everything tonight, all right?"
Doctor Evil shut his mouth with a snap and got up, heading back to his room. "I'm going for more drugs."
"Oh, I have some weed if you want it," Chastity said, grabbing her bookbag. "It's my niece's but she's all into the sharing thing. Her idea is that everyone sharing a blunt would make for world peace."
Doctor Evil whimpered and walked faster, slamming the door behind him.
"Wow, he is way uptight. He needs to smoke some before he strokes out or something." She looked down at the folder sitting in front of her chair. "What's this?" she asked, picking it up to look at it.
"It's what we have current holdings in and what we ourselves do," Number Two said. "I'm more of the business manager so we'll be working together closely. Frau does some of the other things around here but I doubt you'll end up in her area too often." He stood, holding out a hand. "Shall we start a tour of the compound?"
"Surely. That would be totally excellent." She grabbed her ever-present bookbag and followed him out of the room.
Frau put her head on the table and started to laugh.
Doctor Evil walked into his son's room, remembering to knock this time, briefly. "What are you doing?" he asked, sitting next to the bag on the bed.
"It's my time to go visit my kids." Scott threw another thin piece of cloth into the bag, turning and zipping it up. "Why? It's not like I'm needed here. You have Chastity after all." He sat in the chair, smirking at his father. "Don't you like her? I thought she'd be *perfect*."
"I'm sure." Doctor Evil looked his son over. "You have children?"
"Six or so, yeah. Their mothers all live together in this great place." He snapped his fingers, getting up to grab a dark wooden case and take the thin strap out of it. "Can't forget this, they'll lower my status again." He carefully folded it into the side compartment of the bag.
"That's a collar."
"Yeah. See, we believe that humanity should be a matrilineal society. That's what's really wrong with the world. I'm a lowly male and I know my place in the hierarchy. My top keeper will want that as soon as I get off the plane. It's how we mark me as hers." He sat back down in his chair. "I'm hoping to regain some of my former status, go back up to the position of third husband again. And if I'm doing *really* good then maybe I can bring one of the other men up with me so I have someone to be with again."
Doctor Evil held his forehead as he walked out of the room, heading for his own. "Frau!" he yelled. "Go stop him! My son's joined a cult!"
"Herr Doctor?" she said, head coming out of her office.
"My son. He's part of a cult. They're using him as a breeding experiment."
"Yes, isn't it great? He's finally found a place where he's happy and accepted. We've thoroughly checked out the other men there that he associates with. And I do heartily approve of his main wife," she hurried on to explain when his face turned red.
"Main wife?" he asked.
"Yes, since there are so few men, they're being shared. He's the under-husband to six of the women there if I'm not mistaken. It's a hard job, providing for all the women and their families, but he seems to enjoy doing the manual labor they ask of him. And he has his animals, though they don't make him butcher them, they know he's too sensitive for that." She ducked back into her office and locked the door behind her when she saw his face go totally red, leaning against it to make sure he couldn't come through it.
"Well, that didn't go well," Number Two said, looking up at her. "It's an odd arrangement but it keeps him out of trouble most of the time. And out of his father's way. A living heir is better than no heir after all."
"Ach. Those children would be perfect to take over our jobs," she reminded him, going back to her desk chair. "Is he supposed to leave today?"
"Tomorrow." Number Two put down the papers he was reading, shaking his head. "There's nothing we can do. Scott covered all the options and outs. We're stuck with her or we'll have to dissolve part of the corporation to pay off the debts."
"I'm sure he has someone picked out in that case," Frau reminded him, calm again.
"I'd hate to be there for the final showdown," Number Two sighed. "I think it's time that we both took some of our accumulated vacation time and planned to be far, *far* away when it finally hits in full strength."
Frau nodded. "Unibrow's going to be in Scotland for her next match, I'd like to join her."
"No," Doctor Evil said over his speaker. "No way in Hell. You're not allowed to leave. We have to fix this."
"I'm sorry, Doctor, but we had planned for me to be gone anyway." Frau gave Number Two a desperate look.
"That's right, we had," Number Two said, nodding at her. "She's finally made it into a major tournament and she needs our support. Besides, this way you could try and...convince Chastity to your side without us."
"Riiiggghhhttt, do you actually think that will work?"
"Sir, you managed to charm Austin Power's girlfriend from him. Why not this young woman. After all, they say power is one of the best aphrodisiacs."
"Maybe," he said. "Can we buy pain killers by the case?"
"Yes, Doctor Evil, and at the rate you're using them we can even take stock in the company that makes them."
"Do so. It'll be nice to make some money off something I'm doing again." The speaker went off.
Frau shook her head. "I'm leaving tonight for her side. You?"
"Definitely." He stood up, walking out, knowing that they weren't talking about Unibrow anymore.
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT PART OF THIS SERIES.