Title: The Quidditch Match, A Snippet From _Advanced Learning Problems_ (or whatever I call hp/buffy 3)

Author/pseudonym: Voracity

Email address: to list or bookwrecker@yahoo.com

Rating: R if I'm being generous

Pairings: but this trilogy is George/Xander and Ron/Buffy

Fandom: hp/buffy xover

Status: snippet, complete

Disclaimers: do you really think JKR would let me do this to the poor twins?

Summary: Xander watches his first quidditch match of the year, but his powers are still really funky.

Warnings: lol.....just read it. Naughty powers ahead.

Notes: Shaz inspired the muses to do this and they wouldn't leave me alone. Send all applause her way please.

The Quidditch Match

by Voracity.

Xander allowed himself to be led out to the quidditch pitch by McGonagall. It was the first game of the year and a few of his kids were playing. He smiled and sat down next to Hagrid, actually next to Fang, and petted the poor puppy gently. "Hi," he said happily.

"Gonna root for Harry then?"

"I root for all my kids," Xander told him. "I don't want to play favorites."

"Then you're gonna root for both sides?" Hagrid asked.

Xander nodded. "I don't play favorites. With the exception of a favorite food, I don't pick any favorites." He accepted sloppy puppy kisses from Fang. "Yeah, you understand, don't you, big guy."

Hagrid shook his head. "You're odd."

Xander beamed. "Thank you."

McGonagall sat down on Xander's other side. "I'm sure it will all turn out fine, even though Gryffindor will win."

"Care to place a friendly wager on that?" Hagrid suggested.

She frowned and shook her head. "It wouldn't look right for me to do so."

"Besides, she already has one put in with the bookies in Hufflepuff," Xander told him.


"What? I saw you put down five sickles."

Hagrid laughed. "That's how most of us do it these days. Better odds." He patted his dog's back. "He demanded the right ta come see ya."

"I'm sorry I haven't come down this week, but I've had a run of tests to grade." He clapped as both teams took to the air.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to start off the first game of the new year at Hogwarts," the announcer said. "It's a breezy fifty degrees and sunny today on the field and both teams have taken the air to warm up. Slytherin is facing a mostly new team this year, what with all but their seeker graduating last year, and Gryffindor is using last year's second string plus their most famous seeker of all time, Harry Potter!" The crowd went nuts, cheering and stomping. "And the referee releases the balls. They're off!"

Xander sat back to relax and watch the game go on. It was really exciting. They zoomed from end to end, back and forth, and he only got a little dizzy while following the chasers. His section had to duck when a bludger was sent their way by the Slytherin team, the announcer calling the foul a heartbeat before the referee did. He cheered for his students as they scored, earning quite a few looks from his fellow teachers.

"He doesn't pick favorites," Hagrid told them when Xander was glared at. He liked the boy, best to protect him from the house rivalry system.

Xander smiled back at Professor Snape. "Not having been sorted into a house, I can cheer for everybody," he reminded him sweetly. He scratched absently at his leg. Snape 'humphed' and he turned back around. "Go Harry!" he yelled as Harry tried to lose Draco, who was following him closely. The announcer said he did some sort of feint maneuver, but it wasn't anything Xander understood. Xander glanced around, looking at the students gathered around. He caught sight of Melody, who was also scratching. Apparently she could feel a build up of power too. He shook his head, consciously trying to dump some of his own energy into anything but the magic. It would be bad if he let it go. He caught Dumbledore's eye and shrugged, looking apologetic. He got a smile in return, so apparently the older man understood what was going on. He was really sorry in advance if something happened.

"'Scuse me," a deep voice said, shoving Xander and McGonagall apart so he could sit between them. "Hi."

"Fred?" Xander asked. Fred nodded. "Why did you come up?"

"Because George sprained his ankle and told me to come take his place. Popcorn?" he asked, handing over a small bag.

Xander munched, ignoring the tingling going on as the hair on the back of his neck and his back grew. "Cool!" he shouted, clapping for the latest Gryffindor goal. He had three students on Gryffindor and two on Slytherin's side. Fred looked at him. "I'm cheering for my students, not the teams," he told him.

Fred reached over and tugged on the newly grown hair. "If you say so."

"Yup, I do. I don't have a house loyalty, just student loyalty." He reached back and touched the hair. "Braid it," he told him. Fred snickered. "Really, it's probably very messy and what would George say if he saw it being so nasty and snarly." He pulled out a comb and handed it over. "Here you go. Use that."

Fred shook his head but did try to straighten some of the hair up so his friend would look cute for his twin. He cheered at the next Gryffindor goal, laughing when he saw Xander taking another bite of popcorn. That boy was going to look like a yeti by the time that bag was done if he didn't watch out.

Xander felt the itch coming back and scratched at his palms, the only unhairy spot on his hands. "How long does this last?"

"Few hours," Fred told him. "You should be fine by tonight." He finished braiding the thick neck hair and handed back the comb, plus a piece of gum. "Candy?"

Xander looked at him, then at the gum. "Color changing?"

"Would I do that to you?" Fred asked innocently. "After all, you've already tested all that, so it's old news."

Xander shrugged. "You know I'll test anything for you guys as long as it's not harmful." He chewed on the gum, turning all the hair on his body bright red. He looked down at the back of his hands. "This is cute, now I really look like one of you."

McGonagall looked over at them. "Weasley," she said sharply. "Behave or go join the house."

Fred gave her his most innocent look. "He volunteered."

Xander nodded. "I did volunteer, and hey, I'm warm now."

She shook her head and went back to the game. "Boys," she said warmly.

Xander grinned at Fred. "I am really warm."

"That's good. George wouldn't like it if you got a cold from the game." He cheered the next goal with Xander, who clapped loudly.

Apparently the announcer noticed what was going on too. "And the crowds in the teacher's box are going wild, especially the wild looking Professor Harris, who is, as usual, a walking advertisement for Weasley Wizardly Wheezes. Cute do, Prof."

"Evens," McGonagall said sharply. "The game."

"Yes, ma'am." He turned back to the game, calling out who was running with the quaffle just then.

Xander groaned as the itch started again. It really wasn't going to be funny if he didn't dump some of it soon. He sent some of it into Fang, making him roll over and beg for tummy scratches. It wasn't enough though.

Out on the field, all the quidditch robes melted like they were made of water, leaving the players in their undergarments, and one girl in her long johns. The Gryffindor beaters hit the bludgers away before they realized what was going on, but the breeze had been growing.

"Xander!" A shriek from on the field.

"It wasn't me," he told them, still itching.

"Melody!" someone else yelled.

"Hey, I'm being good!" she yelled back. She pointed at Draco and snickered. "Gee, couldn't find a jock that fit?" she howled.

He glared at her. "It's none of your business how my jock fits." He glared at Xander. "Can't you do something about this?" That's when he noticed the extra hair. "Never mind, not if I have to end up looking like that."

Xander took out his wand and ran his fingers down it, then out at the boys. They ended up in really long t-shirts, bearing flowers. His old Hawaiian shirt collection. "That's as good as I can do," he called.

Harry looked up and then took off, Draco noticing him moving a second later. They jockeyed for position, moving closer and closer to the little gold snitch. Draco tried to shove him, but it sent Harry sideways, making his broom hit Draco in the most sensitive area. He hopped up to stand on his broom and grabbed the snitch before his broom could roll, and turned in time to see Draco fall, clutching his balls. "Sorry about that," he called with a smug grin. "I got it!" he yelled. The referee didn't move. "Blow the bloody whistle already!" Slytherin had just tried to make a goal while she was stunned.

Madam Hooch shook herself and blew the whistle.

"And Gryffindor wins!" the announcer yelled. "With a brilliant bout of unselfconsciousness by the two seekers, the game was won when Harry Potter caught the snitch in that horribly loud shirt. The game concludes with the score of 160 to 120. Thank you, Hogwarts! And please, go get dressed people, it's rather windy out here."


"Well, it is. Only Professor Harris and his new coat are really warm. I'd like to see the headlines for this one."

"Evens!" McGonagall said again. "Enough. Into the showers, everyone." Dumbledore looked at her. "I meant the players. They're probably quite cold."

Xander looked at her. "I don't even know that spell," he told her. "Magic is a big fluffy puppy to me, it likes to jump up and lick me and beg cutely, but I can only do what I know how to do. So it couldn't have been me." He pulled Fred up and took him back into the castle, directly to his rooms. "It wasn't me," he said, stopping to laugh. "Melody is in such trouble."

"If you say so," Fred agreed, trying not to laugh. It was just so funny. When they had finally calmed down, Fred nodded at the door. "Can I tell George that you liked it then?"

"Sure, I love the extra hair. I might go for this look again, it's very comfy." Xander curled up on his couch. "Have fun, Fred, and thanks for coming up to sit with me."

"You're welcome." He walked out, smiling at the students walking past him to head up to their dorms. He casually handed someone a bag of popcorn from his pockets. She had said she was hungry. And getting one over on a Slytherin was always good. He smirked when he saw Harry and Ron shoving each other as Harry ran up the stairs in what was obviously Ron's robe. Then Draco Malfoy ran past, scuttling to his room as quickly as the too-short shirt would allow him to. He saw him take some of the popcorn and had to bite his lip until he got outside. Then he howled in laughter.

"Something funny?" Snape asked as he walked up the front stairs of the school.

"Popcorn," Fred gasped, "jock strap." He shook himself as he pulled himself together. "Are the kids coming down tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow is a weekend in town," Dumbledore told him with a smile. "Where is Professor Harris? I'm sure he'll want his shirts back.

"In his room, curled up like the bigfoot he looks like." Fred grinned and strolled away, having to wipe his eyes from the tears of laughter when he heard the howl of rage from inside the school. Sounds like someone had gotten Melody, or Draco had grown some hair. It was funny, that boy shaved everything. He ran into the shop and turned to lock the door, putting out the 'out to lunch' sign.

"I can run the store," George said from his seat, his foot propped up.

"Naked," Fred gasped, starting to laugh again.

George put aside his book. "Naked what? Or who?"

"Teams." Fred gasped for air. "Melody." He nodded. "Draco shaves."

George burst out laughing. "Really?" Fred nodded. "Who won?"

"Gryffindor by forty." Fred walked over and sat behind the counter where he could see his brother but not be seen. "Xander tested our new ever-grow popcorn." George smiled. "And the hairdye gum. Liked them both." He giggled again. "Melody apparently derobed everyone on both teams, then made a pass at Malfoy." His giggles picked up. "And he shaves everything, that boy does." George closed his eyes as his laughter started to pick up. "Xander put him and Harry in his old shirts, the loud ones. Harry got the snitch by getting Malfoy in the balls with his broom." George toppled onto the floor he was laughing so hard. "And I gave Malfoy and some other Slytherins some of the ever-grow popcorn."

"Too brilliant," George gasped. "I wanted to see that."

"Madam Hooch froze when she saw the robes melt off."

"Oh, God."

Someone pounded on the door. "Help!" Melody yelled.

George made sure he couldn't be seen by her. It served her right for going after his man. She gave up and ran on, hoping to get away from the angry students. And Fang, who was just a bit shaggier now because he had snatched some of the spilled popcorn for himself. She would have to pay penance to the Slytherins for costing them the game. "I wonder what dinner will be like tonight," he said conversationally once he had himself back under control.

"I dare say that some people will be skipping it to shave," Fred noted.

The door opened and a small female stepped inside, but it was relocked and Ginny came over to collapse near them on the floor. She burst out laughing. "She is in *so* deep," she told them. "The Slytherins are claiming vengeance against Melody. Madam Rosemerta kicked her out of the Three Broomsticks before the rampaging herd broke everything. They dragged her back to their house to shave Draco herself, convinced that she did that to him too." She reached over and swatted Fred. "That was so mean," she told him.

He grinned. "What? I didn't melt the robes." He stood up and checked outside, going to reopen the store now that the danger had passed.