Advanced Learning Problems.

Molly Weasley gasped when she saw the bird flying toward her back door. She opened it, letting the phoenix inside. "Oh, my," she said when she saw the colors. "Murphy?"

Arthur walked in from the living room. "That's Xander's bird?" He took the message off, smiling at the contents. "It's praise. He's not in trouble, Molly."

She sat down to read the message, smiling at the praise it contained. "That boy," she said fondly. She reached over, scratching the bird's crest. "Would you like a snack, dear? I'll write out a reply right now." Murphy leaned over and nudged her face, giving her a phoenix nuzzle. She laughed, petting the precious one fondly.

Arthur smiled and put on his hat. "At least it was good news." He grabbed some floo powder and took off for work.

Molly frowned at his back. "Something went on and you didn't tell me," she told the empty house. "You will not hurt Xander. He's meant for George." Murphy sang, agreeing with her.

***

Ron looked up as a bright and shiny object headed for the Gryffindor table, his mouth falling open as Murphy landed in front of him, holding a large package. "What's this?" he asked, taking it from the bird.

Murphy nuzzled him and flew off, going to take up residence on her daddy's head. He cooed at Dumbledore but gave his daddy ear nips.

"Did you have a good trip?" Xander asked, smiling up at the heavy weight on his head. He reached up and fed the bird a piece of his meatloaf.

Ron opened his package, smiling at the letter and the fabric that spilled out. Deep, rich blue velvet. "It's a robe," he said happily, opening the note to read it.

"Anything good?" Xander called.

"Mum said hi and thanks for the note," he called back. "Said she found the perfect robe for me, just needs something around a pocket." He laughed. "She said it'd do me good to learn how to fix it too." He looked up. "It tore while they were packing it away."

Xander grinned. "Cool. I have a spell for that. I even fixed my last sweater from your mom."

"Put it on," Harry encouraged.

"Later," Ron said with a blush. He balled it up in his lap and went back to his dinner, eating quickly.

Hermione played with her food and stared at her plate. Harry nudged her. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"I'm not doing well," she confided.

Ron smiled at her. "Then we'll help. Xander said I was one of the two fastest in our class." He glanced at the Slytherin table, but Malfoy was staring down at his plate too. "We'll work on it this weekend, how's that?"

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Ron."

Harry nudged her again. "We'll both help." She finished her food and got up to go study. Harry looked at Ron. "A new robe?"

"Xander sent home a progress report for me. Mum was really pleased, but they got it last week. This was just convenient." He smiled happily. "Did you hear about how we're splitting up the class a little?" Harry shook his head. "Those of us who are moving ahead really rapidly are getting a group by ourselves to practice in, and to help the other kids when they need it."

Harry smiled. "I like that. When?" Ron shrugged. "Hopefully it'll be next class." He looked over at the Slytherin table, but Ron shook his head. "He's in our group?" Harry asked in shock.

Ron leaned closer. "Xander told me that he and I keep going back and forth over which is quicker in a duel." He glanced over and saw Malfoy watching them. "I hate to say it, but he is good at this stuff."

Harry nodded. "True. I just wish he would keep his smart mouth to himself."

"Maybe he will," Ron said. Xander may have talked to the boy, but he wasn't counting on it working all the time. "We've got to run tomorrow," he reminded his best friend. Harry shuddered. "It could be worse. We're not going at dawn. Giles did suggest that but Lupin and Black overrode him about the time."

Harry laughed. "No, we're not going before breakfast. That's a nice switch." He ate a bite of his meatloaf. "I wonder how Hermione is really doing in the class."

"I don't know. Xander won't gossip." Ron dug into his dinner, hoping to get done so he could go read some more of his new book. The spell he had tried last night had been so very wicked. Now he could have pastries whenever he wanted them.

Harry looked at him, Ron was hiding something from him, something big. He hoped that his friend would share soon.

***

Draco looked at the missive from his father and grimaced. He had to do this, so he stood up and walked up to the head table. "Professor Harris?" he asked quietly, trying hard not to disturb the sleeping chicks that had decided Xander was a roost for all of them. He laid the note out in front of his teacher, letting him read it for himself.

Xander smiled. "Not a problem. Tell him to come up for next week's class. We'll be doing duels and physical training, by group."

Draco nodded. "I doubt he's going to be impressed."

"We're doing the new light exercise." Draco smiled at that. You stood in this darkened box and had to weave around dark shapes that popped up in the way of your target, while trying to hit the target with a beam of light. He had done very well in it so far and could see the application for it. "Tell him what we're doing and invite him to participate if you want." Draco nodded. "Would you mind taking a few of these guys so I can eat?" he pleaded.

Draco carefully lifted one sleeping chick into his arms, taking it back to his seat. He noticed that Ron and Ginny both did the same, taking a chick each back with them too. Professor Harris looked very happy with them, picking up his cup of tea to give himself some caffeine for the day. Draco carefully wrote out his reply, hoping not to wake the chick as he moved, and sent it back with his father's owl.

***

Professor Snape shrieked and ducked, trying to get away from the dive-bombing creatures. "Go away!" he shouted, waving his arms.

Murphy flew down and shrieked back, scolding him for it. He called to his chicks and headed for the classrooms.

Snape stormed away to find Harris. This was ridiculous. He walked into the advanced class, frowning when he saw the exercise going on. "Your bird just tried to attack me," he said harshly.

Xander looked over at him, nodding another student over to spot the one he was helping lift weights. "The chicks taking lessons in hunting?" he asked dryly. Snape frowned. "I'll talk with Murphy tonight, but they are little and learning. I'll bring it up tonight with Dumbledore too." Snape stormed out and Xander turned back to the class. "Guys, rest," he called. He sat down in one of the comfy teacher chairs, watching Ron and Draco duel. "I said rest!" he called when they started another light duel.

Draco looked over at Ron. "My father's coming next class," he hissed.

Ron shuddered. "Wonderful. I'll warn Harry." He smiled. "Thanks for the warning. Gotcha!" He heard the second yell and shrugged it off. This time, Draco got him in the stomach. "Hey!"

Draco smiled. "All's fair in war."

"And love," Harry said as he walked over to them. "Xander's about to freeze you both."

"It'd be fine if only it were cold," Draco said as he walked away wiping sweat off his forehead.

Ron sat down on the mats they had been standing on. "His father's coming next class."

"Wonderful," Harry said dryly, sitting beside him. "Looks like you showed him."

Ron nodded. "I'm wondering if I should make him look like an incompetent git next class or let him win a few." Harry laughed and shoved him.

"Let?" Draco said as he walked back over with a glass of juice. "I win two-thirds of all the duels." He smirked at Harry. "Going to hide from my father?"

"No. I'll be doing weights. I need to build up some muscles in my arms for Quidditch practice." Draco's mouth fell open in shock. "England's coaches told me I need to train harder." He got up and strolled away, going to get himself a mug of juice too.

"Th...they're recruiting him?" Draco stuttered.

Ron grinned cruelly. "Harry got to go to a recruitment camp this summer. They said he needed this year to train, but that he might have a spot next year." He got up to get his own juice.

"Ron," Xander warned. He had heard it. "Don't rub it in."

"Yes, sir," Ron sighed.

Draco drank his juice, staring at Harry. What did Harry Potter have that he didn't?

***

Xander followed the students down into Hogsmeade, going directly to the joke shop with half of the students. Since he and Harry had gotten most of Gryffindor to buy stuff last year, and the episode at the Halloween feast, the students all flocked to see what new treats the twins had cooked up. He walked in and sat down against a wall, smiling at Fred. "Hey. Whatcha got?" he asked happily.

A few of the students who knew he was seeing George smiled at him, giving him sly looks. Even one of the Slytherin kids gave him one. They bought their fill and tromped out. Only a few treats floated out of pockets and back into their respective cases thanks to a very nice anti-theft spell.

Fred leaned on the counter after the rush was over. "George is working on something new right now. Another color-changing product." He smiled at the few remaining students who were browsing the shelves. "The color changing frogs were made last night," he told them. He saw a few get tucked into pockets and raised his wand, putting them back. "We've got anti-theft spells," he warned them. The caught student sighed and bought a few things, leaving the store. Fred looked over at Xander. "I heard you guys got a transfer."

"Yup, Melody. Gryffindor." He shuddered. "Please, never leave me alone with her." Fred frowned. "She's a *lot* like me."

"Oh. Animal attraction?" Xander nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." He stood up and rang up the student coming up to the counter. "Did you find everything?"

The girl smiled up at him, a pretty little fourth year Hufflepuff. "Can I make a suggestion?" Fred nodded. "Could you make color-changing ribbons? Like you open a gift and it changes you colors? Maybe for Christmas? My mum would love them."

Fred grinned. "I'll start working on it tonight. That's a great idea." She squealed and grabbed her package, walking out beaming at the world. The two kids who jumped her outside got zapped by Xander, and she waved as she walked on. Fred snickered. "Those two are just bullies. Bet they're smarting right now."

"Oh, they are," Xander said, getting comfortable. "So, how's it going otherwise? Any juicy gossip from your parents?"

Fred leaned on the counter again. "Well, your ambassador showed up."

***

Ron and Harry looked at the girl following them, grimacing at each other. "Never been here before?" Ron asked her.

Melody laughed. "Nope. I *love* Diagon, but I've only heard of this place." She looked at the small village. "Two joke shops?" she said in a nearly-reverent tone of voice. "Wow."

Harry chuckled. "One of them belongs to Ron's brothers. The others are slimy gits who pissed Xander off last year by picking on Ron's brothers."

Ron laughed. "Oh, you should have heard some of the names Xander called them."

"Let's go," she said, dragging them to twin's shop. "This is the one, right? It's a newer building so I assumed it was your brothers'." They stepped inside and she got a look of awe on her face.

"Hey, guys, where's Hermione?" Xander asked.

"She'll be down in a bit, wanted to do something funny to her hair," Harry told him. He walked over to the 'new' section, smiling when he saw the little silver balls. "What're these, Fred?"

Fred came over and looked down at where he was pointing. "Those are jelly balls. It's like the jelly leg curse, only for the whole body. It dissolves really quickly into anything liquid and it's kinda neat."

"Only if it wasn't tested on you," Ron put in, smiling at his friend. "Just don't put any in my soup. Had enough of that this summer." He walked over to sit next to Xander. "So, what devious plans do you have today?"

"I'm going to relax and plan the class for two weeks from now. We're hoping for rain." Ron shuddered so he patted him on the head. "You've got to get used to working in all conditions, Ron. Not all fights are indoors, with your usual comfy clothes, and bright lights." He looked over at Fred. "Ron is very good at dueling, one of the two fastest, but he's not great at the 'get around the blocking thing to hit the target' exercises."

Fred looked down at his baby brother. "I'm sure you'll learn. Think of it like hitting one of us with a spell without us knowing from the next room." He smiled at the young girl who was 'casually' walking up to Xander. He nearly laughed when he saw her glue herself to his side, and his panicked expression. "George, Ron is here!" he called. Xander shook his head, his eyes moving to her.

George walked out of the back room, frowning when he saw the girl attached to Xander's side. "Well, if it isn't the trouble making duo," he said mock-happily. "Hey, Ron, I got something new to try on you." He laughed when he saw the shudder.

"I'll be a test subject," Melody said nicely. "I *love* pranks."

"That's because you're like him," Harry told her, pointing at Xander. He caught George's eye and shook his head, rolling his eyes. George relaxed. "Were you going to get anything?"

She skipped over to the cases and grabbed a few things she wanted to try.

Ron looked over at her. "Just as long as none of it ends up in or on me," he warned her. "I know how to counter everything here and my brothers will give me worse stuff."

"Sure we will," George said dryly. Ron glared at him.

"Family is something good to work with," Xander said, starting to relax now that he could move again. He gave the twins a 'help me' look again, nodding at Melody's back.

"Hey, Harry, where's Hermione and Ginny?" George asked, leaning on the counter beside his brother. He smiled at Xander.

Xander felt the itching feeling start up again in his palms and his stomach. He was going to explode if he didn't use some of the energy. "'Scuse me," he said, hurrying out. Everyone was staring at him, he knew they were.

"Energy build up," Melody said out of the blue. "Always happens when you're in a good or lusty mood. Had a few times like that in my last dorm, really cute girl in my room and all." She carried her selection over to the counter. "Do you have anything meaner? I'd like to prank Professor Harris." She grinned evilly.

George nearly shuddered. She was after *his* Xander. Not a chance. "I think I have something in the back." He caught Fred's look and smiled innocently as he went back to get it.

Fred leaned closer. "Please don't hurt Xander. He's George's."

She laughed. "He can be his all he wants, but this *urge* is coming over me."

"It's called animal attraction," Hermione and Ginny said in unison as they walked in.

Ginny looked at Fred. "Why is Xander out there changing the colors on your broom?"

"Energy build up," Melody told her. "It happens whenever we're in lust, or really happy." She took her purchases but leaned closer to Fred. "As the older gryphons say, there's a difference between love and mating to continue the bloodline." She skipped out, going off to explore on her own.

Fred nearly whimpered. Xander was going to have trouble with her.

"That's why we brought her in here," Harry told him, looking over at him. "We've got to protect Xander." He brought over a color-changing frog. "Think you could make me one of these, only less froggy, for Christmas? I was thinking about sending something to the Dursley's this year after the visit I got this summer."

George whistled as he came out. "Meow, Harry. What form did you want it in?"

"A cake," Ron said, smiling. "Something that they'll eat but not serve to guests."

"No, they might pass it on," Harry told him. "I've seen Aunt Petunia do it before with a Christmas Bomb." He looked at the twins. "Even something that doesn't change colors would be great. With a limited working time if possible so I don't get in trouble for exposing the wizarding world."

Fred snickered. "I know just the thing, we used to do it to Percy. Works for about five minutes, then disappears without a trace." George laughed, nodding.

Xander walked back in. "Don't pick on the Percy, he's got enough problems in life." He retook his seat, after carefully checking around. "She's gone?"

"Gone to bother someone else," Harry told him with a smile. "Can we use the training room after class hours?"

Xander looked at him, then shrugged. "I'd say yes, but the exercise equipment you've been glued to really needs to have someone spotting you just in case."

"So, if he gets someone else to work out with him, it's all right then," Ron asked.

Xander nodded. "Sure, on those conditions. We lock the room so you'll have to come see us because we're using a special key." Both boys nodded.

"You've been working out?" George asked. Everyone in the store nodded. "Let's see some muscles then."

Ron and Harry both took off their robes and rolled up their shirt sleeves, showing off the developing muscles. Hermione lifted her shirt two inches so he could see her abs. Ginny blushed and wrapped her arms around her chest. Ron looked over at her strangely. "What?" she snapped. "I'm allowed to work on that part of myself!"

Ron and Fred both burst out laughing, and George pulled her over for a hug. "Of course you are," George agreed, "but if a boy looks at you, he's going to have to get through all of us to see what you've been working on." She stomped a foot, making him laugh.

"That is the curse of brothers," Xander told her.

"You don't need a boy anyway," Ron told her firmly. "You're too young for that."

"He's channeling your father again," Hermione said dryly. The twins laughed. "Ron, she's old enough to date. Seriously! Some girls in other countries are married and have children by the time they're her age." She picked out what she wanted and handed it over with some money. "These for me I think." She smiled at Fred. "Can we count on you to help us with the Melody issue?"

Fred snickered. "Sure. I'll try and keep her distracted so Xander can run for it."

Xander blushed. "I'm sure she'll get over it eventually," he sighed.

George came around and pulled Xander up, dragging him into the back room. "She'd better get over it, the little trollop." He kissed his boyfriend gently, like Xander liked. "I'll make her sorry if she doesn't." He felt Xander relax and decided a hug was in order. "Has she been bad?" he asked into Xander's hair.

"She stares," he complained. "She's in my classifications class and she constantly stares at me. She even licked her lips a few times. I lost my place in the lecture." He wrapped his arms around his friend's body. "This is the first time I ever wished I was a normal guy again."

George patted him on the back, one of his hands sliding down to touch the perky butt. "I'm sure she'll get over it." Xander's breath quickened. "Too much?"

"Another energy buildup," Xander confessed. "This sucks." He pulled back. "I don't want to have to go prank someone right this moment."

"So show me one," George suggested with a sly grin. "I can only promise to try and replicate it the normal wizard way, but it would help."

Fred stuck his head into the lab. "I got a suggestion earlier. A girl wanted us to make color-changing ribbons so she could wrap her present in them." George snickered. "Said her mother would love them." He smiled at Xander. "Ron was telling me about a great illusion you did recently. Do one of those." He closed the door firmly behind him.

Xander pulled his wand and aimed at a clear space. "Dresdelis," he whispered, picturing a half-Ron/half-monkey being for the 3-D illusion. It started to dance and sing a silly song about a lovely bunch of coconuts. George fell to the floor laughing. "Gee, just laugh," Xander said with mock-indignation. The picture changed to one of George and Xander banished it as quickly as he could.

"Hey, I liked that one," George complained. He grabbed Xander by the leg and pulled him down onto the floor, holding him tightly while he struggled. "Quit, I won't hurt you," he reminded him.

"And you did ask for cuddles," Fred said from the doorway. "Minister Fudge is here with Percy," he said in his most dry tone of voice. "Percy smiled at me, it's creepy."

Xander hopped up, helping George to stand too. "Really?" he asked with a smile.

"Looking for you," Fred added.

Xander frowned, patting down his pockets to make sure his wand was back in there. He smiled at Percy as he walked out, stopping to talk to him. "You never have to fear me," he whispered. "I figure you've had enough hell from the twins." He stepped over to Minister Fudge. "You wanted to see me?" he asked, trying to sound neutral since he couldn't act well enough to pull off pleasant.

"Why did you send her down?" he demanded. "You're actively working against me and I won't stand it, boy!"

Xander shook his head and smiled. "I didn't send Fredericka down to see you. The ambassador decided to come see you before that *incident* happened." He heard Percy gasp and looked back at him. "Heard about that?"

"Father threw quite a fit last night when he learned exactly what had happened," Percy told him.

"Do tell," Fred told him, looking at Xander. "Incident?"

Xander nodded, looking at the Minister. "*Someone* sent a group of people up there to try and kill the ambassador and myself. They got pretty close too."

Fudge glared at him. "I had nothing to do with it," he spat. "I'll have you removed."

"Go right ahead," Xander told him. "I can always go hang with them and finish my education." He smiled. "I might even get the hang of potions with a few years of Reynaldo slapping me on the head with a wing." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I had nothing to do with her coming up. She decided a few weeks before the villagers showed up she needed to talk to her liaison about finding more of us. If you had checked around, you would have learned that she sent an owl *three weeks* before that incident to set up a meeting." He stepped away. "I'm sorry if what I am bothers you, but I could care less about your personal prejudices. If you want to be a bigot, go ahead and have fun. I've always thought there was a special place in hell for people like you." He stepped back farther when he saw Melody coming that way. "I think you'd better leave before the *other* of us gets in here."

Minister Fudge's face turned purple as Melody walked in. "Who're you?" he snapped.

"Melody DuPruis," she said with a faint smile. "My mother just transferred in." She held out a hand but he refused to shake it. "Oh, you're one of *those* people," she said in a snotty voice. "Wonderful." She looked at Xander, giving him a brilliant smile. "Do you fly?" He nodded. "Would you like to take one with me?" He shook his head. "Shoot."

"You're not allowed to go off school property without permission anyway," Fred told her. "No flying without permission from the head of your house and Dumbledore."

She shrugged. "It was just an idea." She grinned up at Xander. "How about a picnic then?"

He shook his head. "I'm showing off to George and Fred." She frowned. "I'm doing illusions."

"Oh. You're not letting the magic out, are you?" He shook his head, giving her a confident smile. "Then who has your books?"

"Hermione, Snape, and I have one," Ron told her. His brothers stared at him in shock. "It's got stuff about making things like brooms. Xander's lent it to me to look at that part." He smiled at her. "I'm not letting it out either. It's locked up in my room."

She looked relieved. "Good. I'd hate to have to kill you if it got out. I'm starting to really like you." She looked at the Minister again. "Did you need help picking out a prank, sir? I'm sure that either myself or Professor Harris would be more than happy to help you."

Minister Fudge stormed out of the building.

"Good riddance," George muttered. "Xander, show Ron what you just showed me."

Xander shook his head. "Not a chance. He'd try to hit me and I'd have to beat him up. It wouldn't look very good." He looked at Ron and grinned. "But I'm sure he'll catch something like that eventually. I'll only be able to hold off so long."

"As long as it's not in front of Malfoy," Ron said wearily. "I can't stand another year of teasing."

"Do you want me to hurt him?" Melody asked with a perky tone.

Everyone shook their heads very quickly. "Not necessary," they told her, almost in unison.

"Pity," she sighed. "I can think of a few things I'd like to try with that boy." She shrugged and walked away.

Xander shuddered, cringing. "Eww. She wants to do Malfoy."

Ron mimicked him. "Gross thoughts," he complained. "I won't get that picture out of my head for days." He smacked Xander on the arm. "Thanks a lot."

"Here, try this," Fred told him, handing him a piece of candy. "Take it right outta your head."

Percy snickered when Ron's head turned into a potato. "That was brilliant," he said with a smile for his brothers. "Xander," he said, turning to look at him. "I'm sorry for what father tried." Xander shrugged. "I know he's sorry. Remember, some of us aren't like Fudge."

Xander smiled. "I know. I met some really nice Ministry guys when they came up to save us. Only one of them gave me funny looks and I'm betting that's because I was crying at the time." He reached back and scratched the scar. "This is starting to bother me again." He dug inside the pockets of his robe with his free hand. "I know I brought some," he muttered.

George thoughtfully came over to help him, coming up with the vial. "This?"

"Yeah, that," Xander said, taking it and swallowing it. He sighed when the itching started to fade. "Snape mixed it up. The poison needed a long-term antidote so I'm taking this for the next two days." He looked around the store. "Gee, his funk didn't taint anything."

Percy patted him on the shoulder as he walked past him to the fireplace. "Minister Fudge was questioned yesterday about his involvement in that incident. There are many who are not pleased with him. He brought me so I could keep you focused on not hurting him." He waved at his brothers and flooed away.

"Incident?" Fred asked.

"Villagers, fire, the usual," Xander told him.

"Ah." Fred threw something at his head. "I'm going to chain you to George so you can't get into trouble." He looked at Ron, then at George. "What image did he have going? I only saw you."

Xander took out his wand and redid the dancing Ron monkey. Ron mumbled but his lips didn't move.

***

Xander walked back into the school and directly up to Dumbledore's room. He tapped on the door. "Sir?"

"Come in, Xander." Dumbledore looked over at him. "Is this about Minister Fudge?"

Xander walked in and shut the door before any of the chicks could escape. "He accosted me in the twin's shop. I basically told him I'd see him in hell." He sat down across from the kindly old man. "Melody offered to hurt him for me."

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course she did. You're part of her flock now. She considers you a possible mate and someone's messing with that." Xander looked up in shock. "The female gryphon is much more violent than the male. Didn't you realize that?"

Xander nodded. "I knew, but she doesn't have a chance."

Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I know, and so does she, but she's got this urge to make more little partial gryhlets. It's so strong that it's probably clouding her vision." He handed Xander the chick that had been helping him read. "Here, pet her, she's needy today."

Xander sat back, petting the little baby. "What am I supposed to do about Fudge? He just threatened to have me thrown out."

Dumbledore laughed. "You'd be surprised at who's sticking up for you, my boy. Even Lucius Malfoy isn't complaining too loudly right now." He smiled and his eyes twinkled. "I heard it was a foot."

Xander grinned. "Yeah, me too. The toes even wiggle according to Draco." They shared a laugh. "So I shouldn't worry?"

"Definitely worry, but don't make it your whole life. Be on guard." Xander nodded at the wise advice. "Now then, we need to talk about names, young man. I can't keep calling them 'hey you' and 'the pretty one'." The phoenix in Xander's arms cooed at him.

"We really need to know their sex," Xander pointed out. "Otherwise we could have a Glinda the Good Witch who's male."

"Glinda? I've never heard of her."

"Oh, she's a character in a muggle work of fiction. The Wizard of Oz?"

"Hmm. I'll have to check that out. She sounds interesting." He pointed at that one. "For her you think?"

"Sure. Glinda wore a sparkly ball gown." Xander looked around the comfortable room. "Sir, can I ask a few questions? I'm thinking ahead to Christmas for treats for my kids." Dumbledore nodded. "I'd like to show them some things that I grew up on." He looked down at the baby nuzzling his chest. "I'm not breastfeeding you, don't do that," he scolded gently. He petted her to make sure she knew she was loved. "Do we have any electricity around here?"

Dumbldore laughed. "No, but I can tell you how to compensate. As it happens, we actually have a television that was left here by a muggle-born student a few years back. It has a...." He snapped his fingers. "The thing that plays those little black cassettes."

"A VCR?" Xander asked hopefully.

"That's it, a VCR. Yes, one of those; it's attached."

Xander beamed. "Cool. Can I borrow it over Christmas? I'll floo over to London and get some movies?"

"If you'd like," Dumbledore agreed. It was going to be an interesting holiday.

***

The next advanced class, Lucius Malfoy showed up, sneering at the weight equipment. "My son uses that?" he asked, pointing at it.

"He's building up his arms and legs for Quidditch," Giles told him, giving him a smile. "Draco, your father."

"I saw, two more reps," he called.

His father frowned. "Now, boy."

Draco did them both quickly then got up to walk over. "Sorry, sir, but I needed to finish them." He used his towel to wipe off his sweat. "Professor Giles, Professor Harris said my father could try some of the training equipment for dueling if he wanted."

Professor Giles smiled and pointed at the darkened corner. "Go ahead, he's walking the other group through it right now." He held out a folder. "These are Draco's scores so far. Xander pulled them when he heard you wanted to come see your son's progress."

Malfoy senior took it and looked it over. "Where does this place him?"

"Within the top four," Giles said, smiling at the boy. "He's one of the top two in physical dueling, but he has a minor problem with this exercise that he can correct quickly with some more practice. His physical conditioning is quite good. Some of his methods are rather extreme, such as baiting his opponent," he said with a frown for the boy. He looked at the father. "He's doing quite well."

"Is he second or first in dueling?"

Xander walked out of the darkened area. "It depends on the day. He and Ron Weasley are neck and neck for that honor." He slapped Draco on the neck. "Take him over. You can watch the other group and have another go. I'd like to see you get over ninety percent."

"What is that exercise?" Lucius asked with his usual sneer. He had apparently learned how to ignore the foot sticking out of his nose.

"It's dark, there's a target, and things pop up between you and the target," Xander explained. "It's to simulate a fight while running, possibly in the woods or inside a house."

"We fire light at the target, the teacher marks down when we hit it, and we're scored on the number of hits in how much time with how many obstacles," Draco finished explaining. "I'm running just at ninety percent at the moment."

His father smiled at him. "Then let's see if you can do better while I'm here." He followed his son over.

Xander leaned against Giles watching him walk over. "Think he's going to try something while the kid's in school?"

Giles looked at him. "Are you feeling protective toward him?" he asked quietly.

Xander nodded. "A little. I'd like for all the kids in here to at least hit the good side of neutral. I know it's unreasonable, but I have the feeling that Draco's father is examining him for flaws before trying to make him join the family business."

Ron walked over, having heard. "Draco's just bad," he told them quietly.

Xander shook his head. "No one's *just* bad, Ron. Humanity is a spectrum. We each fall somewhere short of the absolute ends." He smiled fondly at him. "Go duel with Hermione, she needs the practice." He nodded and walked away, dragging his friend over to the stacked mats. "So, jogging, Giles?" he asked with a grin.

"Yes. I expect you'll want to join in." Xander shuddered. "You don't run?"

"I hate running. Running leads to falling, which leads to scary things trying to beat me up." He walked away, going to help Hermione with her form. She was slumped over for some reason.

Lucius watched his son carefully as he went through the exercise. Maybe he had been wrong about him this summer. Maybe the boy wasn't too soft for the job. He certainly had the skills. He declined a chance to go through the exercise personally; it looked rather like work.

"Good job," Lupin told Draco, giving him a smile. "Ninety-two percent. Just under Harry's at ninety-five."

Draco smiled. "I was motivated." He looked back at his father. "Potter still has the highest score, but I hope to beat him by the end of this term."

Lucius led his son back toward the rest area. "Are you coming home for Christmas?"

Xander looked over at them. "I was kinda hoping he'd stay. I was going to do something special with the kids who were staying." He walked over to them. "There's a martial arts exhibition in London a few days before Christmas and I was hoping to take him. Draco has the body for it if he wanted to take up a muggle form of fighting."

"Fight without magic?" Lucius asked, looking horrified.

"Martial arts are about concentration and using your body to its fullest potential," Giles told him. "I taught some rudimentary forms to my Slayer." He smiled at Draco. "Xander is quite correct though, he does have the ability to go in that direction if he wanted. I doubt he'd be able to break bricks with his hands like some people, but it would give him an extra layer of concentration."

"Yes, but it's not magical," Lucius reminded them.

Xander shrugged. "I'm not sure that a wholly magical approach is necessary. Sometimes hitting something works better than killing it. Intimidation can be more powerful than death." He stared into the other man's eyes, telling him that he knew what Lucius stood for and what he had done.

Lucius backed away a step. "That may be true. I'll consider it." He looked at his son. "Are you coming home?"

"I'd like to stay. It's not like we have a celebration," Draco told him, not sure why he said it. His father nodded and walked away, pausing at the door.

"Boy, I'd like to talk to you about this growth," he told Xander.

"I'll have Ginny Weasley sent up to Professor Dumbledore's office so you can apologize," Xander agreed. Lucius scowled at him. "That's the only thing that will make it go away, an honest apology."

Lucius huffed and walked out.

Draco slumped. "That was close. He could have cursed you, Xander."

Xander smiled at him. "If he tries to hurt me, I'm getting him back with something so evil that even his master will laugh and be shocked." He laughed at the shocked looks. "Hey, you never mess with a gryphon or its family." He put an arm around Draco's shoulders. "So, wanna go to London to see this exhibition? It'll probably be us, Harry, Hermione, and Karyn."

Draco shook his head. "No thanks. I'd rather eat live snakes and shit their babies." He walked away to go get a drink then went back to his exercises. It was his day to do this.

Xander laughed. "I like that one, I'll have to steal it." He looked back at Giles, who was still looking shocked. "What? It was a great line." He went back to the darkened corner, going to help the students who weren't so fast.

***

Xander stood in front of the now-yearly occurrence of the maze, watching as his students passed through it. "Remember, don't actually stake the vampire unless you're last," he called when he heard the 'shit, it's a vampire' scream from inside. "Just pretend!" He looked over as he felt someone move up next to him. "Melody, get back in line," he said, going back to his grading. It was a miracle, one student had come out walking confidently and not sweating or pale, and no one had passed out yet. He thought this one had been harder but apparently he was wrong.

"Xander," she purred, "can I help you do anything?"

"You can get that hand off my arm and get back in line before you flunk," he told her coolly. She didn't move. "Now, or you flunk and lose house points." She sighed and walked away.

Professor Snape, who had been asked be down here and monitor, walked over to him. "I've never had that problem," he said, seeming to be laughing at Xander.

"It's called animal attraction," Xander told him, looking over at him. He grinned. "George is ready to skin her."

Snape gaped at him. He'd heard of that problem, it could turn out quite badly. "What are you doing to discourage her?"

"Short of hiding, I'm doing all I can. Even a repellent charm didn't work." Xander shrugged. "It sucks but she'll get over it. It's about the same as any crush." He scratched his head. "Never had one of those before outside of Willow, but it's handleable." He handed over the sheet for the Slytherin students. Most of them had went through already. "House scores?"

"How are you judging this?" Snape said as he looked them over.

"Professor Flitwick charmed a few clipboards. Whatever the teachers inside the maze put down is added to this one and I tally it at the end. I give them more points for coming out in one piece and for not breaking down crying, but no one loses points as long as they finish."

Snape nodded and handed it back. "How are they doing against the other houses?"

Xander grinned. "Second best." He looked down as the clipboard vibrated and sighed. "Well, that takes that section out."

"What happened?"

"That one Hufflepuff who hunts with his father just staked the vampire prematurely. Hold this." He gave him the clipboard and walked into the maze through the teacher's entrance, going to make an illusion vampire. He smirked as he created Angelus. A 3-D representation that would hop out and scare the crap out of the students. He whistled as he walked back out, stopping to laugh when he saw the chick sitting on top of Snape's head. He walked over and took the clipboard. "It's her daddy's favorite position," he reminded the pissed off teacher.

"Get her off me," Snape snarled. "Shoulders are acceptable, my head is not."

Xander looked up at the bird. "Move down a level, baby Glinda. He doesn't want you mess up his hair." She nipped at Snape's hair and moved down to his shoulder, giving him ear nips. "Those are phoenix kisses."

Snape rolled his eyes and went to find the chick's other grandfather. This was strange. This chick followed him everywhere. She had even sat above one of his least favorite students a few classes back and shat in his potion.

Xander giggled. He looked over at Lupin, who was outside the maze too. Lupin was resting his head against the wall and banging a fist into it while he laughed. A few of the remaining students were laughing too. "Remember not to do it to his face," he told them, looking over as someone screamed. "She okay?" he yelled.

"Your vampire just tried to bite her," Black yelled back. "She'll be fine. Just shocked."

A male who had already went through looked up at Xander. "The fledge didn't try to bite us."

Xander smiled at him. "I created an illusion vampire, giving it three responses. Bite, jump, and growl." The student laughed. "It'll be okay. It can't really bite." He checked his clipboard. "What?" he called.

"Please make this less realistic," Black yelled. "It just tried to bite me. It's annoying." Black walked out. "Besides, what vampire looks like that."

"That's Angelus," Xander told him.

"What?" Willow shrieked, exiting the maze.

"An illusion one," he told her. "Chill. It can't really bite the person."

"But...but, if you're not careful, you can pull part of the real Angelus into the illusion, like you did with the Ronmonkey last night."

Xander sighed and decreated the illusion, setting up a new one from where he stood. "There, one illusion of the former fledge." A new voice screamed, this time in real terror so they hurried in there. Xander staked the fledge standing there. "I didn't know I could do that," he muttered as he concentrated on his illusion, making sure it was really an illusion this time. "It's okay," he said as he walked out. "All fixed." He looked down at the clipboard, smiling at the note. This vampire purred when he jumped out at you? Oh, well, it would do. There were only a few more students to go.

Ron and Draco walked down the stairs arguing. "Tell him he's a slimy git!" Ron demanded.

Xander looked at Draco, then at Ron. "Why? He's not slimed at all. I can create some if you'd like, but I doubt he really needs to be slimed today."

Draco frowned at him. "Weasley thinks I was hitting on his sister. McGonagall told us to come to you before I finished beating the shit out of him."

"Language," Lupin called. "Five points off each."

"Git isn't a swear," Ron complained.

"But I figure we'll be hearing one from you soon enough, Mr. Weasley, so it was in advance."

Draco snorted. He looked back at Xander. "I don't fancy her, I was reading the sign stuck to her back."

"A likely story, you were checking out her ass," Ron snorted.

"See?" Lupin called. "Next one is five more."

Xander smiled at them. "Draco, can you promise me that you're not after his innocent, sweet little sister?"

"Certainly." Draco stepped closer. "I take care of those needs," he admitted with a faint blush and in his quietest indignant voice. "There's plenty around willing to lay down for me."

Ron's mouth fell open. "What? Where?"

Malfoy smirked. "You never got approached?"

Xander smiled at Ron. "It's girls after him for the name. They're after the Mrs." Draco nodded. "That doesn't bother you?"

"I'm not with them for a relationship," he snorted. "They know that. I make it very clear."

Ron frowned. "Fine. Remember my sister's not one of them." He stormed off.

Draco shrugged. "I really was reading the sign on her back. It was funny."

"That's fine. Stay out of his way for the next day or so." He stopped the boy from moving. "You're being careful, right? I mean, I know your father would probably shit if you had a kid, but there's other things out there."

Draco laughed. "There's spells for that too if you know where to look."

"You mean no one gives you guys sex ed talks?" Xander asked, his face starting to scrunch up.

"We tend to leave that to the parents," Lupin told him as he walked over. "You found the spell?" Draco nodded patiently, looking upset. "Good. As long as you're careful. It's an ignored situation." Draco nodded and left. "We can't teach them that, Xander, parents get really upset and scream mean things at Dumbledore. He tried to with the year before mine. Looked like a blizzard of owls the next week."

Xander shrugged. "As long as that protective spell is getting around somehow."

Lupin grinned. "Of course it is, through the girls." He checked the clipboard. "Just the three left to go through?" Xander nodded. "Then what are you doing with your afternoon off?"

"I was going to take the chicks flying if they wanted to go outside."

"There's a high wind. Madam Hooch canceled flying lessons because of it."

"Oh, well," Xander sighed. "Maybe I'll go work out downstairs." He looked over as Snape walked back down the stairs. "Glinda go back to her other grandfather?"

"No, she took off somewhere." He scowled at the students sitting around. "Are those finished?"

"Yup, was about to release them for lunch. Go." The students ran up the stairs, heading for the Great Hall.

Snape tried to stare Xander down, but the boy simply chuckled. "What that girl is doing is inappropriate. You can not take this so lightly. Not only does it look bad on the school, it sets a bad precedent for other students." He smoothed down one of his sleeves. "The next thing that will happen will be one of them coming after me."

Xander held in his laugh. That was a match he'd like to see, Melody and Snape. "I'm trying, Professor Snape. If you'd like to give it a shot, go right ahead. I'd appreciate it greatly if she never grabbed me in the halls and rubbed against me again." Snape goggled at him. "That was last night after dinner. The night before that I found a pair of obviously used panties on my bed, in my locked room." He glanced around then stepped closer. "If you'd handle this, I'd be *really* grateful. McGonagall couldn't get through to her, Dumbledore had a word with her, and neither one of them has been able to stop it."

Snape unstiffened slightly. "Fine, I'll have a word with her. Her behavior with some of my young men has been quite irresponsible."

"You mean she's only hit on the guys?" Xander asked. "She's always talking about the female fuck-buddy she left back at Beaubaxton." Snape looked shocked. "Sorry, did I offend you?"

"That's not a comfortable subject for many of us."

Xander chuckled lightly. "In America, we can do that, have a friend that we sleep with whenever it gets to be too much. It breaks up the boredom of masturbation." He walked away, going to check on the student coming out of the maze and send her to lunch.

Willow stuck her head out of the maze and shook her head. "It's not like that for all of us," she assured Snape.

"Indeed." He walked off.

Xander grinned. "Well, that was fun," he said cheerfully.

"Feel better now?" Tara asked him. Willow gaped at her. "It was obviously his wearing out of the day."

Willow shook her head and withdrew. She didn't want to go there, ever.

Xander sat down on the bench and looked back over his scores, tallying the last group as they walked through.

***

It was the middle of November and Xander was contemplating asking George to the Yule ball as he walked toward his room after dinner. He flinched when he heard a door slam somewhere behind him. Melody had been really persistent recently, so much so that he hardly went anywhere without at least one other person. He turned a corner, taking the last hall he would need to go down to reach the main entryway and the stairs up to his room. From the shadows, a dark form moved, slamming him against the opposite wall. "Help?" he yelled, trying to push the girl off him. She was stuck to his body, trying to bite or lick his neck, or something. He kept pushing at her, but she was pretty strong for a sixteen year old. "Some help here?" he called again. He heard footsteps as she slid down his body, and he continued to struggle. "Help?" he yelled.

Professor McGonagall rounded the corner at the same time as Professor Snape. She glared at the girl. "Petrificus totalis" Xander glared at her, it had gotten him instead.

Snape took the direct approach, trying to pull the girl off him while the other teacher freed Xander from the spell.

"Get her off me before I hurt her!" Xander said coldly. Hagrid and Dumbledore came from the entryway about the same time she tried to swallow him through his pants. He hit her, making him release him and was pulled away from him. "I want her fixed," he panted.

Hagrid grabbed the struggling girl, holding her still. "Take her to my office," Dumbledore said quietly. He waited until they were alone. "Are you all right, Xander?" Xander shook his head. "Will you be all right in a bit?"

Xander sighed, slumping against McGonagall. "I'll be fine. I'm really pissed though."

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, that's what brought me." He looked the boy over. "Close your robe, Xander."

Xander looked down at himself in disgust. He wrapped his robe tighter around his body. "I want her fixed," he repeated. "Whatever's wrong, I want it stopped."

"Is there anything in your books?" Snape asked him.

Xander sighed and shook his head. "I tried looking, there's nothing. The closest thing was a spell so someone wouldn't get hurt during mating." He looked at the headmaster again. "I can't take this anymore."

"That's reasonable. Can you contact the gryphons and ask for advice?"

"If I had a private fireplace. I'm not supposed to tell anyone how to reach them."

"Use the one in the staffroom, I'll watch the door," McGonagall said, glancing at the other teachers as she walked Xander that way. "She attacked you?"

"She shoved me against the wall and tackled me," he said, rubbing his neck. "That's just ick. I need a shower, I feel dirty."

"Of course you do," she soothed. She nodded Professor Flitwick out of the staffroom and locked the door once they were alone. "Call them, I'll be over here making some tea, Xander."

Xander pulled a crown royale bag out of his pocket, tossing a handful of the contents into the fire. "Fredericka?" he called softly. No answer. "Reynaldo?" A face showed in the fire, the gryphon who had refused to tell him his name. "I really need Fredericka," he told him.

The gryphon looked him over. "Is it an emergency?"

"If you consider my sanity useful, yeah," he told him. He leaned closer. "There's another gryphon-born here and she just attacked me."

The gryphon laughed. "If that's all, I'm sure you won't hurt her."

Xander frowned. "I don't want her. I'm already taken. If she comes near me again, I'm *going* to hurt her. Very badly if I can. She just *attacked* me in the hallway."

The gryphon frowned. "Fredericka and Reynaldo are out flying. I will have them call as soon as they get back. Maybe she can fix this one. It is the mating urge."

"But I'm with a guy!" Xander hissed.

"Ah." The gryphon nodded wisely. "You are still eligible then. The mating urge will happen until you have a gryphlet of your own. Then none will touch you save your mate."

"I'm not foreseeing children," Xander noted dryly.

"Ah, but one of the most devious of us did create an accommodation spell for such instances," he said with a smirk.

Xander shook his head. "I doubt I'll be using it. Can you fix her? Make her come out of it or whatever?"

"If she was mated with intensely it could help the urges slow, but it would take a special potion to make it fully stop."

"Hey, potions we can do." The gryphon elder gave him a dry look. "Not me, there's a master maker of potions here and Melody has even gotten on his nerves."

The gryphon elder nodded. "I will talk to Fredericka when she gets back. It will be her decision. Females rule the roost." His head disappeared from the fire.

Xander sat back, looking at McGonagall. "This really sucks," he told her.

She hauled him up. "It could be worse. She could have gotten through your clothes." She gave him a short hug. "Go change clothes, Xander, then come to the Headmaster's office." She unlocked the door and let him leave, watching him jog up to his room. She shook her head. She had never seen such a thing before. She walked up to give her report.

***

Xander walked into the headmaster's office, frowning at the girl sitting in her chair, chained to it actually. "So now what?" he asked.

Dumbledore pointed at a chair. "For right now, we sit. I just got word that one of them is on their way up to look at Melody."

"At least you didn't comfort her," Xander said, glaring at her. "You will never touch me again or I'm going to get violent."

She sneered at him. "I've tasted your blood, you're mine! You'll stay my mate!"

Xander growled and balled up his fists. "Over your dead body."

"Xander," Dumbledore said quietly. "No one faults you for your anger, but please don't destroy my office with it." He smiled at the young man as he put a wall of silence around her again. "I do have a partial solution until we can get this settled." He opened the book in front of him. "Since it was reported to me that she has entered your room in the past, I'm going to give you a secure room. You'll have a picture to get past and a personal door." He looked up. "It will be temporary, but the room isn't that horrible. It does face the East tower's wall, but you don't seem to like a view anyway."

"As long as there's a window so Murphy can get out."

Dumbledore nodded. "There's actually two of them. This room is larger." He smiled. "Would that suit you?" Xander seemed to relax as he nodded. "Fine. I'll have your things moved for you tonight. And since you'll now have a sitting room, the chicks can spend the night with you." His eyes spoke of mischief. "I'm sure they'll enjoy helping you sleep as much as they did me."

Xander smiled, looking down at his hands. "It's okay. I like noise when I sleep."

"Even better. You'll be closer to the kitchens and the dungeons than not." Dumbledore looked over as Hagrid walked up his stairs. "Is she here yet?"

"Yes, sir, Professor Dumbledore, sir, there's a gryphon coming in for a landing." He smiled at Xander. "You all right there, Xander?"

"I won't kill anyone," Xander said optimistically. He stood up. "Let's go. I could use some comfort." He walked out, going to wait outside, as far away from her as possible.

Hagrid smiled at the headmaster. "I hope you don't mind, I sent for some of my advanced class to wait out of the way and see the gryphon."

"As long as she doesn't mind, I have no objections," Dumbledore said as he stood up. "Bring her please, Hagrid. I'm sure you'll be able to keep her away from poor Xander." He headed down to the front hall. He found Xander surrounded by feathers as he got his hug. He considered calling on George to come up, but thought it better that Xander tell him personally.

Little did he know that a student in Hufflepuff had seen the removal, one of Xander's students from last year. The news was already on its way around the school and down to the village. Ron had just punched a wall and broken his hand, and even Malfoy was pissed enough to move the girl off his lap.

Xander stepped away from the elder female gryphon, he had already told her all about it. She had promised to fix the girl. He watched as Melody was put in front of the female by Hagrid, biting his lip.

"Where is this potion master?" Fredericka asked. "I think we can bring her out of this heat."

"She's in heat?" Hagrid asked, looking interested. He loved creatures. He reached out then withdrew his hand. "If'n you don't mind, may I pet you a bit?"

"Hagrid, step off to the side so Professor Snape can talk with her," Dumbledore said kindly.

Fredericka stared down at Hagrid, then extended a wing. "I could use some grooming. It was a very fast flight." She looked over the potion's master, then at Xander. "You trust him?"

"He's making the healing potions," Xander said with a shrug. "He even adjusted the headache one for my depth of heritage."

Fredericka laughed. "I'm sure it will be fine then." He stepped closer and she put her beak down near his ear, telling him how to fix the girl. She pulled back. "Keep her locked in a room by herself. Even wearing it out won't help that much this time." She barked at the baby phoenix who had come out with Professor Snape. "You are adorable," she told the chick, nuzzling it. It sang at her. "Very cute." She looked down at Dumbledore, then at Xander, then back at the headmaster. She leaned down, telling him something too. He nodded and stepped away. She looked back at Hagrid. "Thank you, young one."

He laughed. "I'm not young, ma'am."

She chuckled. "Trust me, to one my age, you are very young." She patted him with a wing. "I will be up this spring, the embers have told me so. We will talk then." She bowed to Xander. "Be at ease. They will fix her." She took off, gliding away on a thermal heading home at a leisurely pace.

Xander stood up. "Can you tell me which painting is mine?" he asked politely. "I'd like a bath now."

Dumbledore smiled and nodded. "Of course." He led Xander down toward the dungeons and took a small side hallway, pointing at the painting second on the left from the dead-end of the hallway. "The password is fletching right now, but you can change it." He handed over a key. "This is for the door after it." He patted Xander on the back. "I've already had the house elves move everything down here, including the nest. Have a good bath. Please, feel free to call on me tomorrow if you want to talk."

Xander impulsively gave the older man a hug. "Thank you for not making fun of me." He opened both doors and disappeared.

Dumbledore stood there for a moment, basking in the glow. He did enjoy good hugs and didn't seem to get so many of them these days. He went back to his office, knowing that the two professors had everything in check.

Xander came out of the bath and flopped down on his new couch. It would be okay. She couldn't get to him. He heard a scratching at the window and went to go look at it, smiling when he saw the tiny owl. "Hey, Pig," he said as he opened it. A nice smelling breeze came through, but he closed the window before the chicks could get out. "No, it's not time for you to go outside yet. There's a big wind." He took the message and smiled. Ron was worried about him. He sniffled. He loved his adopted family.

***

Xander looked over as Ron and Harry walked in, followed by Draco. "Thanks for the note, Ron," he told him with a smile.

"What she did was wrong!" Ron said firmly.

"I agree," Draco said from behind them, making Harry jump. Ron gaped at him. "What? That's barbaric. No witch or wizard should ever have to force their way onto anybody," he said coldly. He looked at Xander. "I was so shocked I actually pushed someone off my lap," he said with a small smile.

Xander laughed. "Thanks, guys."

"How're you getting any?" Potter asked.

"I've never had to beg, borrow, steal, pay for, or even ask for sex, Potter, it comes to me." Draco turned and walked into the changing area.

Ron laid a hand on his arm. "They're after his money."

"Oh." Harry grimaced. "Can't be fun then." He shuddered lightly.

Another of the male students, Philip, a Ravenclaw, walked closer. "My mother told me that she'd cut mine off if I slept with a girl while I was still in school," he told them, smiling at Xander. "I believed her stories about women who did things like that and then dumped defenseless men."

Ron smiled at him. "My mum didn't say anything to me on the subject. My brothers all warned me about a certain type of girl though." He waited until Draco came out to go change, taking Harry with him.

Xander smiled at Philip. "Your mom may have been right. Just think about having a kid at your age."

Philip delicately shivered. "Please, anything but diapers," he said dramatically, then he walked over to work on his dueling.

Malfoy walked over. "What's my group doing today?"

"You're with Lupin and Black learning some very advanced fighting spells," Xander told him. Draco nodded. "Then you'll come back and help the others."

"All right. Where are they?"

"Three floors up and off to the right," Xander said dryly. Draco looked at him. "There weren't any open classrooms down here."

"Oh." He shrugged. "That's fine then. Three floors up and to the right?" Xander nodded. "Are they coming down to guide us?"

"In a few minutes. Lupin sent a note." He held up the enchanted clipboard. Ron and Harry walked out together. "You guys are going to get some advanced spells then come down here." They nodded. Xander looked at Ron's shirt. "That looks like it used to belong to Hagrid," he said with an amused smile.

"My dad had it when he was here," Ron said, flushing a little. "He said I could have it for pajamas. I need to do laundry."

"Hey, take the bag upstairs with you and wash things," Xander encouraged. "It's all good here as long as you have clothes for next class." He hit himself on the head. "And bring a spare robe next class. We're working in normal clothes."

Ron nodded. "Yes, sir." He turned as the door opened, smiling at Professor Lupin. "Are we yours today?"

Lupin nodded. "For the next hour."

Xander whistled. "All those in Harry's group meet by the door, you're going upstairs for an hour." Everyone except Hermione came over. "Where's the bright one?" he asked Ron.

"Infirmary. Her stomach hurts again."

"Happens about every three weeks or so," Harry noted, looking at Ron.

Xander coughed to hide the laugh. "I'll talk to her later," he told them. "She can get the notes from you guys." He waved as they left, then broke out laughing. It wasn't really funny, but it kinda was in a way. She probably turned into uber-bitch too. Giles smacked him on the back as he walked past. "Hermione is in the infirmary."

"Poor girl, I'll have to go see her later. Is she very sick?"

"No, it's the stomach cramps that she gets about once a month." Giles stopped then shook his head. "I think we'll have to make an allowance."

"Yes, we probably shall have to. Are you going to put up a note about wearing normal clothes with robes next class?"

"Right before everyone leaves." Xander got up to go help with the weights. It was his turn to spot for the kids.

***

It was two weeks before the Yule ball and Xander still hadn't decided whether or not to ask George to it. He was waffling hard when he ran into someone. "Oh, hey," he said, stepping around Ginny. "Seen the brothers recently?"

She pulled him into an empty classroom and shut the door. "Professor Harris, can I come talk to you about stuff that I'm worried about?" she asked.

He gave her a hug. "Of course you can. Maybe you can even help me figure out if I'm supposed to ask George to the dance or not."

She giggled. "George hates dances. He only goes to make-out."

"Oh. I guess that's one decision out of the way." He let her go and stepped back. "What's up?"

"I'm having funny feelings about some things and I'm kinda worried about acting on them."

Xander grimaced. "This is about sex, isn't it?" She nodded, looking very pink. "Are you sure you want to ask me? I don't have the best track record in the girl department. Tara though, she's great at this stuff."

Ginny sighed. "I know, but I can't talk to her. She's too familiar to be a stranger and too strange to be family."

"Which is why you came to me. Okay, I'll try to help. What's on your mind?" He sat on the top of one of the student desks.

"I think I want to have sex, but I'm not sure."

He cleared his throat, trying to will away the blush he was sure he had. "Well, my rule is if you're not sure you're not ready. Of course, you can feel ready and not be ready too, but most of the time if you have to ask the question, you're not ready." He stopped when he realized he was babbling. "What's the next topic?"

"How do you know when you're ready?"

He shrugged. "My first time just kinda....happened out of the blue." He considered it. "I guess you'll know. Some sort of instinct or feeling will pop up and go 'now'. Willow told me that she was sure when it happened, but Oz had taken a lot of time to get to the same point. I'm guessing for girls it's instinctive."

"So, kinda like Melody going into heat, I'll know?" She looked confused. "What if it doesn't happen soon?"

He patted her on the head. "Honey, you're sixteen, you're not going to run out of shelf-life anytime soon." She looked even more confused. "You've got time, live a little before you get into the heaviness." He scratched his eyebrow. "Have you tried to talk to your mother yet?"

Ginny nodded. "And she said it wasn't time yet, that *she* would tell me when it was time," she said with a disgusted look. "I don't want to be a twenty-year-old virgin."

"See, that's four years for that feeling to pop up though," he said quickly. She frowned at him so he gave her another hug. "Wait a while longer, it'll happen when it does." He pulled back. "Sorry if it's not real helpful, but it's all I got."

She nodded, but she was smiling. "Okay, I can wait." She hopped down. "Are you going to ask George anyway? I'm sure he'd be really excited. He might even buy a new robe. He needs one you know."

He reached over and tugged her bangs. "How about you help me pick out mine while I figure that out?" She giggled. "Thanks. I'm hopeless when it comes to clothes." He slid off the desk. "My criteria is that I'm covered and not covered in ick or wet." He walked her back out to the hallway. "Go to dinner and I'll arrange for you to help me shop tomorrow." She walked away smiling and he sighed. "So do I ask him or not?" he muttered, continuing his trek to his room so he could wash up before dinner. He found a note and a small bag on his bed. His first term's worth of paycheck and a notice of a broom for sale from one of the other teachers. Cool.

***

George walked into the family home and stopped, noticing his mother was still around. He had tried to get her to go away for the afternoon. "Mum, can you do me a favor?" he asked. She smiled at him. "Would you help Xander find a dress robe? He's taking Ginny, but she still has horrid taste and I've seen his wardrobe."

She laughed. "Of course." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek. "You'll tell me what this is about?" He shook his head. "Yes, you will, George."

He hugged her. "Not unless Xander wants me to." He let her go. "Thanks, mum." He waited until she had left to go corner his father in the study. "Dad," he said as he walked in and shut the door. "I want to know what's going on. And I'm not taking no this time." His father opened his mouth then shook his head. "I'll know, or I'm going to have to get mum to tell me."

"She doesn't know either." He moved so he son could have the other half of the small couch. "Son, there's been quite a few incidents that you don't know about."

"Actually, I know more than you think," George told him, taking out the scroll he had gotten off Percy. His brother liked Xander for some reason and was encouraging the relationship. Percy had actually said Xander was nice, high praise from his older brother.

His father sighed as he read it. "That's almost all of it, but not quite." He handed it back. "Percy doesn't know that I tried to memory charm Xander."

"You did what?" George asked, hopping up. "How could you do this to me!"

"Son, I was trying to protect you. Xander's powers are still very dangerous, even with the drain."

George noticed he looked so sad so he sat down again. He was obviously torn up about it. "Dad, I understand you trying to protect us, but you can't do that to him. He'd never hurt us on purpose."

"And what about by accident?" Arthur looked at his son. "You remember the frustration bomb?" His son nodded. "Well, there's another few emotions that can cause it which seems more likely for someone of Xander's age. There's one for lust, one for anger, and one for grief."

"But he's learned how to deal with those," George told him. "Xander uses some of the energy up whenever he feels one coming on." He shifted closer. "Dad, you should have told me instead of acting. I'm a big boy now."

Arthur hugged him. "To me you'll always be the little boy trying to plant a garden gnome in my hat." George laughed. "I think you and Xander need to have a talk." He pulled a small scroll off his desk and handed it over. "This is something important for you both. It's a way to ground him permanently." George looked at it and blushed. "Go talk to him."

George sighed. "I would but it'll seem like I'm being girly and pushing for an invitation to the dance."

His father laughed. "Xander's not exactly the most socially correct person, he might not have decided if you'd like to go with him or not."

George grimaced. "Then I'll have to do something about that, won't I?" He stood up. "Thank you, dad, for telling me."

"I really didn't mean to hurt you. Xander knew that, he faced me down about it." George smiled. "Gave me some flowers for a headache cure."

"Bet you'll need it sooner or later," George said with a smirk as he left. He didn't see his mother, who had snuck back to listen.

She walked into the study and closed the door as soon as her son was gone. "Arthur, I did some tea leaves. He's the one for George," she said quietly, "They'll be married this spring."

He sat up. "Really?" His wife nodded. "You and your divination skills," he said with a fond smile. "I guess we'll have to be prepared then." He pulled her into his lap. "They both forgave me."

She patted his cheek. "That's good. I'd hate to see that tear the family apart." She let him hold her close, giving the comfort he craved.

***

George walked out of the fireplace and looked around. There had been people in here when he had left. He noticed the sign and went to change it around. "Fred?" he yelled. No answer. "Well, that's wonderful," he said as he went to check the register. It was missing money. So hopefully his brother had went to deposit some of it in Gringotts. He leaned on the counter, reading the binding scroll. It was quite ...thought provoking.

***

Xander walked into his room, followed by Ginny and the bags she was carrying. The robe shop in Diagon had been having a very nice sale, which was good because they'd had to put off the shopping until the day of the ball. He waved his wand and all his robes were hung up, except the one he was going to be wearing and a small package. He smiled at his helper, she had quite a lot of taste. He patted her on the top of the head. "You're so great," he told her. He handed her the package. "For tonight. I saw it and thought you'd look really cute."

She squealed and opened the brown paper, dancing around with the new robe he had picked out for her. A very pretty unshiny gold robe with black velvet trim. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you," she said, hugging him as hard as she could. "I'm going to go get some help with my hair." She ran out of the room, slamming the portrait behind her.

Xander sat on the bed to take off his shoes. He really needed a bath. He closed and locked the doors to the room then went to run himself a bath. He had a cast iron bathtub and a shower head in here, it was good. He had forgotten to ask George, his mind blocking out the struggle the last time he had seen his boyfriend. But that was okay, he was supposed to be a chaperone, not go off necking behind the Christmas trees. He poured some of his favorite bubbles into the rising water and climbed in. "Oh, yeah," he sighed. Even his feet quit hurting.

Outside, a cloaked person whispered a word to the portrait and pulled out a wand.

***

Ron sent off his owl to is mother and went down to the common room. He saw his sister coming in. "Go all right?" he asked, flopping down onto a couch.

She held out her robe. "Xander bought me this because I found him the *perfect* robe. So very much like him." She grinned. "And I saw George skulking about down there. I pointed at which portrait his was." She tittered.

Ron shook his head. "You and Percy both. Matchmaking."

Ginny laughed even harder. "Percy likes him because Xander promised not to prank him. Xander thinks Percy's had enough in his life already." She flopped down beside him, her robe across her lap. "What are you wearing?"

"The blue velvet mum sent with Murphy. I'll have to find something else for the one in spring."

"Borrow one," she suggested. She hopped up. "I've got to do something about my hair," she told him, hurrying up to the girls' dorms. "Hermione," she yelled while she climbed the stairs. "My hair needs more help than I'm competent to give it."

Ron shook his head. Girls, he didn't understand them at all. He was starting to think he never would.

***

Xander came out of his bathroom and found the inner door open. "I thought I closed that," he mumbled as he went to do that. He turned and nearly jumped. There was a cloak on his bed. He walked into the sitting area and stopped. His boyfriend was on the couch napping. How cute! "George?" he called from the doorway into the two-stride hallway between the door, the bedroom, and the sitting area. George snorted as he woke up, looking over at him. That's when Xander realized he was wearing only a towel and was still dripping water from his hair. "How did you get in?"

"Lock spell," he said with a grin. He stood up and walked over, brushing some of the water off Xander's shoulder. "I'm very resourceful." He stole a kiss and looked over the body he hadn't seen this much of. "If I say I appreciate this look, would you blush?" he teased.

Xander did blush. "Yeah, I think so." He saw how his boyfriend was dressed. "I'm sorry I forgot to ask you." George stole another kiss. "We can't make-out at all at the dance."

George pulled Xander into his arms, thrilling at the feeling of his damp skin. "Then I guess we should do that now." He heard a fire start behind him and pulled back. "Energy buildup?" he suggested.

Xander nodded. "I need a better ground."

"Well, dad did find something," he said, leading Xander into the bedroom. He had noticed earlier that the wooden bed rested directly against one of the outer walls of the castle and on bare stone floor. Someone had set this room up to drain excess energy back into the earth. How fortunate for him, no lust bombs to interrupt. He shoved Xander down onto the bed, taking the clothing on it and putting it aside. He considered the robe Xander was going to wear, then smiled. "Ginny's idea?" Xander nodded, he was trying to adjust his towel. "Oh, let me," George said, taking it off him. He opened his own robe, showing that he was still partially dressed. Xander started to say something. "As long as one of us is dressed, it can't go too far," he assured him, lying down next to him. Xander started to open his mouth again and George gladly took the opening as a chance to get a real kiss.

Xander wrapped himself around the warm body. This was too good. He wanted this. Didn't know what to do with it, but he wanted it very badly. To hell with his thinking and considering, or his screwy powers. He felt the excess energy slowly being leaked out of him and pulled back. "How?" he panted.

"Easy. A natural substance against something embedded in the earth will act like a funnel to the earth." George kissed him on the tip of the nose. "Elementary reactions." He let a hand wander down the firm chest. "How long do we have?"

"Until dinner."

"More than long enough." George unwound himself and stood up, taking off his shirt. "Is this all right?"

Xander nodded. "I don't have a clue what to do with it, but yeah, I like looking at it."

George snickered. "I'm sure we'll figure something out together." He reached for his pants but only took off his belt. He saw the dark brown eyes widen and teased his pants button. "Should I?"

"Only if you think we're ready to move on," Xander told him. "I'm not sure about much right now."

"Even better." George slid out of everything and back onto the bed. "I think we can make it up as we go along." He started to kiss his man again, when the worst thing happened. Someone knocked on the portrait.

"Shit," Xander sighed, grabbing his towel to go answer it. "What?" he called, looking out the eyes of the portrait to find Giles standing there. He opened the portrait but didn't let him in. "Kinda naked here," he pointed out.

Giles looked him over, noticing what else he was, hard. "Just came by to give you these," he said with a smile, handing over the last few chicks who had been out playing. "Remember, dinner's in two hours." He walked away. He had thought he'd seen a robe, but it could have been Xander's. He was sure he hadn't seen a body on the bed. He shivered. Was it cold in the hallway? He shook off his thoughts. Xander was an adult. He could make his own choices.

Xander closed and locked both portals, taking the chicks in to rest in front of the fire. He checked on the others, all napping soundly, and went back to the bedroom. He found George laid out for him, pleasingly showing every bit of himself. Xander took off his towel and dropped it, walking over to the bed. "What are we going to do with you," he said as he joined his boyfriend on the bed. "Sneaking in here and napping with the chicks." He nipped the strong shoulder. This wasn't so bad.

George pushed himself up into the warm mouth. It was good, it'd been too long since he'd touched anybody. Xander moved down his chest, missing his nipples entirely to play with his sparse chest hair. He giggled when he was tickled, rolling them over so he was on top. He tasted the warm flesh, enjoying the smell coming off him. "I like this scent," he murmured as he licked over the hard nipple. "Very nice." Xander shifted and wiggled, wanting more but not knowing how to ask without sounding like he was demanding. "Just ask, I'm reasonable right now."

"Lower," Xander ground out.

George smiled as he shifted down, teasing the hard stomach. "Here?" Xander shook his head. "Am I making you feel better?"

"Driving me crazy," Xander noted, grabbing fistfuls of sheets. "Please?"

George went further back, touching the thing that was making Xander crazy. "Nice," he said in appreciation. Not too large, but not at all small. Firm, hard, throbbing. He could feel a pulse in it. He stroked over the head, watching as Xander gasped and came off the bed. "Needed this?"

"Please?"

"Sure." He moved farther back, taking his time to learn this part of his lover. He'd never held a cock before, except for his own, but this one wasn't so different. He heard a squeak and looked back at the foot of the bed. "Shoo," he told them. "Human games."

Xander whimpered. "Please, go away," he begged. He heard Murphy warbling. "Murph, call them!" he shouted. He heard wings and hoped that they were gone. He opened his eyes, watching George study him. "Liking it?" he asked, starting to blush again.

"I must say, it is rather pleasant to look at." He smiled up at Xander. "You could do the same." Xander shrugged and nodded so he shifted around into the classic sixty-nine position. His smile got brighter when he felt the hesitant touches to his lower body. He went back to slowly stroking the hard body. All of a sudden, it deflated. "Problems?" he asked.

Xander groaned one word, "Chicks."

George looked behind himself to see all ten chicks, and Murphy, lined up on the footboard. He felt himself go soft. It would be like having sex in front of children. He looked back at Xander, who had a pillow over his head. He decided to switch around in the bed again, covering them both up with the throw. "Shouldn't you be resting or some such?" he asked.

Murphy waddled up the bed, chirping at both of them. He gave them both phoenix kisses on the chin, trying to encourage them. He liked daddy's friend.

Xander pulled the pillow off so he could pet his baby. "I know you were interested, but this is a daddy thing, not a daddy and birds thing. Take the chicks into the other room and we'll come get you in a few minutes for dinner and the dance. You can go nibble on the trees again." Murphy stretched his wings out, singing loudly. "Yeah, I was gonna make that noise too," he said dryly. Murphy took off, leading his offspring back to the other room. Xander rolled into the warm body next to him, curling up against its side. "Want to do this part of the act?"

George wrapped an arm around him. "This is fine." He shifted down some, stealing a kiss. "This is wonderful for me." Xander wrapped himself back around him, making George feel very warm. "Feeling better?"

"Liking this." He initiated the next kiss, making his boyfriend hum in appreciation. He heard something moving down near the foot of the bed and looked down. One of the unnamed chicks was sitting on the end of the blanket watching them. "No."

George smiled at the bird. Phoenixes were very emotional birds and you couldn't yell at them no matter how much you wanted to. "Maybe you should go play in the other room," he suggested. The bird cooed at him, waddling up to sit on this new person's arm. It leaned down to sniff him, then cooed in his ear. It liked the person who liked the granddad.

Xander reached over to scratch the bird gently. "Behave or I won't let you go play with Professor Sprout tomorrow." His baby bird sang. Someone knocked on the portrait. "What?" Xander yelled.

"It's me, Xander."

"Kinda tied up," Xander yelled. He saw the speculative look and shook his head. "No bondage, not going there." He looked at the door again. "Come in." The doors opened, admitting Dumbledore, who stopped with a semi-shocked look.

"Gee, I think I had that look when I saw our audience," George whispered to Xander.

"Good," Dumbledore said with a smile. "It's about time you two managed to get together." He came in to take the chick, but she dug her claws into George's side. "Come on, you, it's nearly time to go eat the trees. Don't you want groomed? Hagrid's coming." She let go and flew toward the door, looking back at him when he didn't open it immediately. He laughed, shaking his head. "There's exactly an hour until dinner, boys." He smiled at George. "I take it he forgot to ask you?"

George nodded. "His mind made him forget. He's already apologized." He stroked down Xander's shoulder. "I'll forgive him for it this time but I'd better be invited to the spring ball."

Dumbledore laughed loudly. "Good. It's good to see you two being happy." He went to gather the rest of the chicks. "Boys, please don't ....make-out visibly tonight. Dancing is fine, but do keep it decorous for the impressionable youth. There's been enough sex in this school already this year." He gathered the rest of the chicks. "Xander, you toasted a tail feather," he called as he walked out. "That one's fine though, just laying a bit too close to the fire." He closed both doors behind himself.

Xander slumped. "At least the audience is gone," George said optimistically. Murphy started to sing in the next room. "Or not." He looked around. "Bathroom?"

"Cast iron bathtub."

"Could be fun," George pointed out. He could feel the energy building up again and went with it. Murphy could entertain himself for a bit. Hopefully.

***

Xander walked into the Great Hall with a light blush, holding George's hand. "Want to eat with me or with your house?" he asked as they started up the aisle. Someone whistled and Xander turned to glare at the likely culprit, Ron. Ron shook his head. Xander looked at the second most likely prospect, but Draco was staring in shock.

"I always wanted to eat at the teacher's table, and they did add a chair for me," George told him, steering him that way. There were a few more whistles and cat calls and Xander blushed horribly. "Relax and ignore it," he whispered as they stepped up to their table. "They're children who aren't getting any and are jealous because I look good."

Xander laughed, nearly giggling. He looked over the velvet robe and nodded. "Yup, you look good."

"Xander, what is that?" Tara asked, pointing at his robe. It was shiny and glittery and blue, but not lamme. It glowed faintly in the candlelight.

"Ginny helped me pick it out," he said proudly. "Like it?"

"It's a bit shiny," McGonagall told him, smiling at George. "Quite an entrance," she said kindly. She waited until they sat down. "Did you plan on making this common knowledge?"

George leaned over to talk to her. "Xander forgot to ask me so I came up to escort him." He caught Tara's glare. "He's already apologized."

Tara giggled when she saw Xander's blush. "I bet he did." She giggled louder when Xander went darker red. "It's okay. You two are very cute together." She smiled at George. "Keep him happy, Fred, or else."

"I'm George."

"Really?" He nodded. "Cool. Even better." George smiled at her. "The or else still goes for you too."

He laughed. "I wouldn't doubt it." He looked over as Snape and Sprout walked in together. "Favorite people," he sighed. "Where's Willow?"

"Hiding. Her favorite robe had ink on it somehow. She's trying to get it out."

"Did you look for another imp?" McGonagall asked. Tara looked at her. "We've already had one this year." She smiled at Xander. "Was your broom fixable?"

"No, but I heard someone was selling theirs," Xander told her. "I'm going with Madam Hooch tomorrow to look at it."

Professor Dumbledore and Hagrid were preceded by a shimmering parade of phoenixes singing loudly in the Hall, earning quite a few 'ahs' and 'oohs'. Most of the chicks landed on Xander, cooing at George and him. Dumbledore smiled at the show. "My, I see they're happy," he said as he sat down. He looked around. "Professor Rosenberg, Professor Giles, and Professor Sinistra?"

"We think we have another imp," McGonagall told him. "They're cleaning their robes."

The missing teachers appeared and walked quickly up to the main table, taking their usual seats. "Sorry," Willow told him. "Had to remove some ink." She noticed George and smiled. "Good, it's about time." She punched Xander on the arm.

"Mine to abuse," George told her when he saw Xander wince. She blushed. "Sorry, but I'm feeling rather protective at the moment." He looked up at the face leaning down to stare into his eyes. "Yes, hello," he said, petting that one.

"Glinda, let him eat," Xander sighed. Glinda went over to perch on Professor Snape's head. He waved her away so she went over to the Gryffindor table and shat in a plate, cooing up at him. A few of the others laughed. "I think she's trying to win your approval," Xander suggested lightly. "Try praise and gentle remonstration. It works very well. Glinda, come," he called. She came flying back, landing on his held-out hand. "Good girl, but you shouldn't terrorized the students. The other grandpa loves them." Glinda looked at Dumbledore who nodded. "So go sit on Snape's shoulder and behave. We'll give you guys treats in a few minutes." She flew over, landing on Snape's shoulder. Snape sighed loudly. "She's adopted you. You might have a chick."

Snape glared at him. "Does this have to happen?"

Dumbledore shrugged. "She loves you for whatever reason. You might as well accept it, Severus."

Snape sighed again and petted the bird. "If I must." She cooed and sang in his ear, making him smile slightly.

Everyone one else watched as the plate in front of Neville was switched. Then Dumbledore stood up. "Good evening," he said happily. "This year's Yule ball will hopefully give you many memories for many years." He looked around, eyebrows going up when he saw the first year. But he didn't say anything. He clapped his hands and the food appeared. "Eat and be merry." He sat down.

A few students came up and stole some of the chicks, taking at least one per table. Three went to the Gryffindor table, and one decided to go play with the Slytherins on his own. Now Xander could eat and move more than a few inches. Under the table, Xander took George's hand to hold. This was nice.

***

As soon as the music started, George drug Xander out onto the floor. "Ginny said you hated to dance," Xander told him.

"No, I hate dancing with her," he corrected, swinging Xander around. "Just the one then you can go be serious and break up all the kids doing what I want to be doing." Xander blushed. "That's a cute look for you."

"Just as long as I don't wear it all night," Xander said quietly, moving smoothly on the crowded floor. His boyfriend pulled him closer, letting them sway to the music. Xander swallowed when he felt the hand land on his rear. "I'll get yelled at."

George smiled at him. "It's not like you'll be in real trouble. We'll be patrolling for snogging all night, best to get in some of our own." He stole a quick kiss, which got a few gasps. "Now then, Professor Harris," he said as he led him off to the side at the end of the dance. "We'll talk and watch, and maybe do that again in a bit."

Xander smiled at him. "Sure, but only if you explain it to Ron." He pointed at where George's younger brother was making his way over to them.

George sighed. "He should know the facts of life by now. Or at least tried to get some of his own." Xander pinched him. "Hey!"

"He said your mother never gave him any advice and you guys only told him watch out for evil, wicked women."

George smiled. "But evil and wicked women and men are the most fun," he said innocently.

"Guess that's why you're with him then," Ron said as he finally made it to them. "Quite a show."

"We're charging admission later," George joked. A few of the kids around them looked interested at the prospect. "Joke."

"He's known for them," Xander added. "Go hover somewhere else." The crowd moved a little farther away. Xander tugged on George's robe, pointing at Ginny. "She's so cute with what's his name."

Ron and George both frowned. "Where'd she get that one?" George asked.

"I bought her the robe," Xander told him. George looked at him. "For helping me shop."

"Oh. I'm sure she was pleased. Her other is still a bit big."

Ron closed his mouth and looked at the couple. "Did mum and dad agree to this already?"

"Yes, Ron, why?" George asked, sounding exasperated.

Ron smirked. "Because I just saw Melody."

"Crap, psycho woman returns," Xander muttered.

George patted him gently. "I'll save you from the horny women, dear." Ron snickered. "And you, don't you have a date?"

"Melissa got sick earlier and decided not to come so I'm stag." He took a step back when Melody walked up to the group. "Feeling better?" he asked her.

She smiled at him. "Yes, quite," she said, mimicking his accent. "Xander, I'm sorry for how I acted." She noticed the arm snaking around Xander's waist. "Is that how it is?" Xander nodded, smiling at George, who was just about his height, only an inch smaller. "Fine." She rolled her eyes and walked off. "That won't keep the problem from coming back though."

"Bet me," Xander called after her. "My threat still stands." She turned and faced off with him. "You now have a way to deal with that problem, please use it." She sighed and walked off. "George, get your hand off my butt, the other teachers are watching. Especially Giles."

George squeezed it. "I like it where it is. Quite a nice bum."

"I bet," Ron snickered as he walked away.

Professor Snape walked up to them, holding out the chick who had attached herself to him earlier. "She's asleep."

"Hagrid put a nest up behind the teacher's table," Xander told him. "They're all curled up together."

Professor Snape noticed the missing hand and looked at George. "Do you think that's appropriate behavior?"

Before Xander could say anything, George quipped, "Well, Professor Dumbledore did ask us not to snog on the floor, but feeling up his bum does not snogging make. That'll come later," he told him with a brilliant smile. Xander eeped. "Dear, did you need something?"

Xander shook his head and walked outside, going to hide his embarrassment in the snow.

Snape glared at George. "It's a pity that I can't take points off your house for that."

George shrugged. "Try it and see how fast Xander puts them back." He walked away, going to soothe Xander.

Snape walked off in a huff, but missed the look on Melody's face. As he stepped up onto the dias holding the teacher's table, his robes melted off his body, leaving him in a green thong and them in a puddle on the floor. A few of the students clapped a hand over their eyes, muttering about being blind.

Tara did the nice thing, getting up and handing him her pink robe. "Here, you need it more," she told him.

He snatched it and put it on. "I'll get him for this." He saw someone waving and glared down at the young girl. "That was you?"

"It slipped," she said, looking innocent. "Cute panties. Do they hiss?"

He growled, which woke up the bird. The little phoenix made soothing noises, which some found even funnier than the thong. "I'm leaving," he stated, then left by the back door.

Professor Dumbledore managed to finally blink. He glared at Melody, who continued to look innocent. "That wasn't necessary," he told her.

She smiled sweetly. "Of course it was. I don't like him." She walked away, grabbing a boy standing stunned in the middle of the dance floor and forcing him to dance with her.

"Hey, he's my date," another girl complained, trying to take him back.

Ron sighed and looked at his friends. "Xander?"

"Xander," Harry agreed, walking over to the doors leading outside. McGonagall stopped him, shaking her head. "You're sure?"

"I think we can handle this. It's best we not make him deal with her." She smiled at them. "You all look very nice." She walked away, tactfully taking Melody with her.

Outside, Xander had his face against the cold stone of the building, hiding it and hoping that the cool stone would make the blood leave it. George was standing behind him, patting him on the back. "I'll hear about that for years," he complained.

"I'm sure Snape won't be talking to you for quite a while," he said cheerfully. He pulled Xander back into his arms, holding him tightly. "It'll be fine, Xander. If he bothers you, you can get even with him."

Someone cleared their throat. "I doubt Professor Snape is going to be saying much of anything to him," Draco told him. "Melody just took his robes off him."

"Really?" George asked. Draco nodded. "Wicked. I always wondered what he wore under them and if there really was a stick under there."

"A thong." George burst out laughing and Xander turned faintly green. Malfoy looked at the pair. "Are you two really together?" Xander nodded. "And you're not going to hit on any of us?"

Xander chuckled. "No, Malfoy, I'm not going to hit on you." He patted George on the rear. "I like him and only him."

"That's a bit arrogant," Harry said as he walked out. "Thinking that everyone's out for a piece of you." He handed over two mugs of punch. "Professor Dumbledore wanted to know if you were ready to come back in yet. He's having to stop quite a few couples from snogging."

Xander took the punch, handing the other cup over to George. "Yeah, we're coming in. Thanks, Harry."

"I've seen you with him before."

"Peeping already? I thought that was a habit for dirty old men," Draco teased.

Harry growled at him and balled up his fists.

"Behave or no surprise over Christmas," Xander told them as he walked back inside. He saw the relieved smile and nodded at his boss. He drug George over there. "Sorry, but I had to go outside."

"That's fine. Please watch the punch bowl for now. I found a couple under it already." Dumbledore walked away, going to stop another couple groping on the dance floor.

"Is this some sort of lust spell?" George asked Xander quietly. Xander shrugged. "You didn't leak any magic at all?"

"Not that I've felt." He sipped his punch and spit it out. "I know where it came from though." He waved a few of the teachers over. "Is the punch supposed to taste like a potion?" He handed his cup over, nodding when the other teachers agreed. "So, is it a lust potion?" Professor Flitwick looked down at himself and smiled. "I'd say that's a yes. Do we dump it or what?"

"I'll go get the headmaster," Flitwick told him. "You keep people from drinking it." Xander stepped back to guard the punchbowl.

Xander smiled at Willow as she walked. "This table is off limits."

"To staff?"

"To everyone. We just found a potion in the punch."

She laughed. "At least it's not alcohol. Can I at least have some fruit?" He tossed her an apple. "Are you happy?"

Xander nodded. "I'm pretty sure I am." He looked at George. "Am I happy?"

"You were ecstatic earlier," George reminded him. "Until the chicks butted in."

She blushed. "That's more than I needed to know." She waved and walked away, going to talk to her girlfriend.

Ginny giggled as she strolled up to them. "Can I have some punch?"

"No you may not," George told her. "There's a lust spell in it." That got even more laughter. "Nope, no snogging for the sister." He glared at her date, who wilted.

Ginny punched him in the stomach as hard as she could, but it only made him grunt. "Be nice! I'm not having sex tonight." The few people who looked at her date saw his disappointed look. "Xander convinced me to wait until I knew the boy wasn't a complete booger."

George looked at his boyfriend, but Xander shook his head. "She asked. Your mom told her that *she'd* tell her when Ginny was ready."

George snickered. "I'm sure she did. She tried that on Percy too, seems to have worked." He looked at Ron, who was walking with some girl. "Wonder if she tried it on him."

"Probably, he hasn't gotten any," Draco said as he came over, his date stuck to his arm and simpering. "Can I get at the punch?" Xander shook his head. "No?"

"Lust spell of some sort," Xander told him. He looked at Malfoy's date, who was obviously not wearing anything under her dress robes. "I doubt you need the help though." Draco blushed. "Sorry," Xander said with a grin. He looked over as Snape stormed in, back in his own clothes again, getting out of the way of the punch bowl. "It tastes funny and we've had an outbreak of sex."

Snape picked up a glass and dipped it into the punch, bringing it up to sniff it. "Pixie potion," he grunted. He took the punch bowl with him, leaving the hall again.

"Pixie potion?" Xander asked.

George snickered. "Really corny folk-potion. He hates it because almost anyone can make it."

"It's supposed to be responsible for some of the oddest children," Ginny agreed. The males around her looked at her, looking faintly shocked, even Malfoy. "What? A girl hears things." She smiled at her brother. "So, when are you two going to become official and get married? I'll need to figure out what I'm wearing."

Xander patted her on the shoulder. "We're taking it slow, honey. I've dated psycho women in the past and I don't want to rush anything in case your brother turns into one of them."

"I'll have him wearing my clothes by spring," George told her. She giggled. Xander looked up at him. "What? You'd look smashing in my lab coat."

Draco shook his head. "I didn't need that mental picture. Thank you." He kissed the girl on his arm, then shuddered. "Still there."

Ginny poked him. "Be nice. Just because she's been with half your house doesn't mean she can take that picture from your mind." He looked down at her, smirking. "And no, I'm not offering," she told him. "I'm much too sweet for someone as tart as you." She flounced off, taking her date with her.

George and Xander leaned against each other, laughing. Draco shook his head. "That girl has a mouth on her. One of these days someone's going to take her up on her offer," he warned. He turned and ran into Ron and Harry, Hermione standing behind them. "I didn't say it would be me. She's right, she's much too *nice* for me."

"Don't do good girls?" Xander teased.

Draco smiled at him. "Why should I? There's plenty of bad ones." He walked away, shoving Ron hard on his way past.

Xander laughed harder. "My, the words from a teenager's mouth."

Ron snorted. "I bet he's just bragging. He can't get as much as he says he does."

Harry patted him on the arm. "I'm sure it's bragging too." Even though he'd heard some of the girls gushing about how good Malfoy was in the library one night.

Hermione sniffed. "Some girls will do anything for attention."

"Including know everything," Xander reminded her. She glared at him. "It's a different sort of attention, but they want it just as much as you do. They're just doing it for a different reason." He stood up. "You three go dance together. The floor's looking pretty thin of people." They trudged off, Harry taking Hermione onto the dance floor.

George walked over to his brother and said something, then came back, forcing Xander onto the floor too. "Ron's watching the table," he told him. "And yeah, there's always some girls who'll go on their backs whenever you ask. Slytherin used to allow girls to be brought in on the weekends, back when Harry's dad was here. Someone's father would send him a 'tutor' for a weekend and they'd have quite loud parties." He saw McGonagall staring at them and waved, dancing them over that way. "Ron's watching the food."

"Please move your hands at least three inches northward," she told him. She smiled as George moved his hands. "Xander, yours too please." He looked shocked, apparently he didn't realize he had been getting a good grope in, but he did move them. "Thank you, boys."

"So, do they still have parties?" Xander asked as they danced away.

"Sometimes. I heard that Draco's eighteenth is supposed to be one of them. His father's been sending word that all the boys Draco wants invited are invited up to the mansion for a party." He dipped him. "Then there's the whole 'trying to get stuffed up' point that some of the girls have."

"Yeah, I figured a lot of them were after him for his name."

"And fortune. They're one of the richest families. The two richest actually don't send their children here, they're tutored privately at their castles." George swung them back to the refreshment table as the new bowl of punch was being put out. "No potion this time?"

Ron shook his head. "Tasted it already, tastes like fruit." He smiled at Xander. "You two do look cute together. So, who gets to wear the wedding dress?"

"Ron!" George said sharply.

"Sorry." Ron blushed. "I didn't mean it to be mean."

Xander gave him a hug. "I know. Besides, wearing robes is like wearing a dress." He turned around, surveying the students. "Think about how many dresses there are in this room."

Ron snickered. "The whole wizarding world is made up of cross-dressers?"

"Only to a muggle," Xander reminded him. He let the boy go. "Go steal Hermione. Harry's apparently stepping on her feet. She keeps grimacing." Ron jogged that way, butting into the dance and swinging her off.

"Smooth," George whispered in his ear. "Now we'll get Harry though."

Xander whistled and Ginny looked up. Xander nodded at Harry and she went to commandeer him. He looked at his boyfriend. "Better?"

George smiled at him. "Much." He stole a kiss. "And that's a promise for later."

"I suppose I'm having a guest tonight then, huh?" Xander wrapped an arm around George's waist. Draco's date stormed past them, going outside. He strolled by a few minutes later. "Bored with her already?" he asked dryly.

Draco nodded. "Bloody prig. 'I want a ring'," he mimicked. "Not getting one." He turned, surveying the crowd.

"Xan, since you're in the mood to pick dance partners, give him one," George suggested, squeezing Xander's butt cheek subtly.

Xander looked around, but all the students he knew were taken. "Unless he wants to cut in on the fab threesome, I don't see anybody." Draco glared at him. "What? Don't wanna dance with Ron?"

"No. I doubt I'd be able to feel my feet afterwards." He looked over the crowd again, smiling when he saw someone unaccompanied that he knew. "I'll be back."

"Hmm, should probably rent the Terminator," Xander muttered.

"Huh?"

"It's a muggle movie. I'm going to get some movies and show them to the kids in my advanced class who're staying. Some with different fighting styles, some that I always enjoyed. Some that are just plain Christmasy." He grinned. "Dumbledore thought it was cute."

"I agree with him, you are cute," George told him. He started to kiss Xander again, but a girl made a gross face next to them. "Problems?" he asked as he got away from her.

"With as many women as there are in the room, you should be with one of them." She flounced off.

"Gee, someone needs to explain things to her," Xander said darkly. He was nudged on the other side and turned to find Giles standing there. "Yours?"

"In my advanced class. She's been a bit sheltered and probably doesn't know that there are people attracted to the same sex." He looked at George. "As long as you take good care of him I won't curse you with something so horrible even the Dark Lord would shudder," he told him with a smile.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Thanks, dad. You and Willow both."

Tara walked up to them, back in her own dress robe again, smiling at George. She whispered in his ear, making him turn very pale. "Trust me, I can do that. And if I can't, then Willow can." She tugged on Xander, getting him free of his boyfriend and out onto the dance floor. "Do you like him?"

Xander nodded. "A lot. I never even looked at boys before, but we're really close. He understands me and my funky energy problems."

She gave him a squeeze. "Good. Then I'm happy and Willow's happy, though she's going to pounce him the next trip into town and give him a lecture about the care and feeding of you." She laughed when he groaned and put his head on her shoulder. "She'll be nice about it. No rope or chains involved."

George watched Xander being taken away and looked at Giles. "You really care for him?"

"A great deal. He's a bit on the loud and obnoxious side sometimes, and he's always jumped into everything without looking, but he's a very decent young man. I feel honored to work with him and to have helped him become the man he is today." He looked over at the young man, then back at George. "Whatever curse she mentioned, I can do worse," he said pleasantly. "And do try to keep Xander calm and balanced. If he's off-balance mentally, he tends to get hurt." He poured himself some punch and left the table.

George leaned back, watching his boyfriend and his boyfriend's best friend dance. They looked cute together, but he was sure he was better for Xander. After all, Willow didn't apparently know Xander like she thought. She kept trying to change him, or to channel him, instead of giving him a clear path and letting him have some freedom. She didn't understand Xander and flying at all either. He crossed his arms, thinking about it. For a woman who had known Xander since they had been toddlers or so, she didn't seem to know much about him today. He wondered about that, but he wasn't sure what it would mean to them today. He knew Xander loved Willow like a sister, but that was all, right?

Ron coughed, breaking into his brother's thousand-yard stare. "You're in front of the punch. Sit." He poured himself some and stepped away once his brother had sat down. "Problems?" he asked, sipping gently.

"None you'd understand," George told him. Ron scowled. "There's some that I don't even understand."

"Oh, something like that." He shrugged. "It'll sort itself out. Or, if it's something that you wanted to know, ask him. That's what mum told me about making friends." He waved at Harry and got two more glasses of punch, bringing them over to his friends.

"Maybe I'll do that," George muttered. "He might tell me. Could be an excuse to cuddle too."

Willow walked up beside him, and smiled having heard that comment. "You could try asking me if he won't tell you."

George stood up and pulled her outside. "You two used to be very close, but now you're more distant and you don't seem to really get Xander on so many levels. Why?"

She blinked. "Huh?"

"Sorry I'm so blunt, but you don't really seem to get how Xander is, and what's driving him most of the time. You know everything about his childhood, but almost nothing about him now. You didn't even talk to him after you got back from the summer until that first dinner."

"How do you know that?"

He smirked. "I have my ways. I was checking up on Xander and it was mentioned," he admitted when she glared. "I'd like to know if there's something I should know about."

Willow sighed and leaned against the outer wall of the school. "There's been things that have happened since grade school, George. All relationships change over time, but we started to drift apart. It wasn't anything that was done, it was circumstance. I've tried to get close to him again." She looked inside, where Xander and Tara were laughing at something Ron had just said. "I've tried a lot to get closer." She turned back to the new boyfriend. "We grew apart when Buffy and I started college and Xander didn't. He continued to work and the only thing that held us together was the slaying duties." She sighed again. "Even that wasn't strong enough after a while, the group started to break apart. We pulled it together eventually, but we're never going to get back to the closeness we used to share." She looked at her hands. "I haven't even written Buffy in months, I doubt he's sent her anything recently, and I'm starting to wonder if we're going to split farther away." She looked up at him. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

He shook his head. "That was part of it. I want to understand Xander. I know him how he is now, but I don't know how he got this way. Why there's this thread of caution in him. Why he's so hard-assed about giving the kids the truth of fighting."

She snorted. "Well, the last one is because all Giles ever told him was 'it's dangerous, you shouldn't do that'." She smiled sadly. "Xander found out the hard way what fighting for your life was like, the same as I did. He....jumped in and fought. I got to stay back and learn magic and fight that way. There were times when I wanted to fight right there beside him, but that wasn't for me. I couldn't handle having two broken bones a year on average, or needing an ice pack every few days. I'm not that strong."

"He's doing this so the kids won't fight if they're not cut out for this?"

She nodded. "Probably. He's also probably doing it so that the kids who are going to end up fighting are prepared for anything. It's something that Giles tried to give us, but there were plenty of times when we were fighting one demon and another type popped up. Or when the facts led to one sort of thing and it was really someone else pulling the strings." She smiled. "Xander's a very complex guy. The days when all he cared about was cartoons and his skateboard are gone. Now he's trying to make sure these kids live."

George smiled at her. "Thank you, Willow."

She stepped closer to him, patting the side of his face. "You're welcome. If you hurt him, I'm turning you into something that requires lots of chopping for a spell and casting it multiple times so it takes days before you finally die." She walked inside, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

George sat down on one of the stone benches, ignoring the cold seeping up into his rear for now. Xander wanted to make sure that he didn't lose anyone else. He really cared for these kids. Even the annoying ones. Would he have room for him?

Xander came out laughing and shut the door behind him, walking over so he could sit in George's lap. "Big think?" he asked.

George smiled at him. "Are you sure you want me?"

Xander poked him on the nose. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't." He stood up, pulling George into his arms to dance with him. They could barely hear the music, but it was enough to sway together. "What did Willow tell you?"

"I asked her why you were so distant when you used to be such good friends."

"She got too self-involved to realize I was still there."

"Oh." George rested his head against Xander's. "She said circumstances."

"That too," he agreed with a light shrug. "She went to college and her life started to revolve around that. She cut off ties with anything that wasn't college or Tara related once they got together. Buffy did the same thing when she took up with the slimy assholes killing demons for fun and giggles. Giles nearly left, Buffy died, and we pulled back together some but the glue that used to make me not sleep at night worrying about whether or not either Buffy or Willow were going to die was gone." He squeezed him. "You only had to ask."

George nodded. "I can see that." He pulled back some. "I know that you're very tight with your students, but I don't share that with you."

Xander grinned. "No, you share my nature with me, who I am outside of the classroom. And hey, I don't try to help you in the lab or the store." He moved closer, pulling George as tightly against him as he could. "If I wanted a shadow, I could have picked up your brother Ron," he whispered. "I want and need someone who understands and who'll try to give me balance when I'm lacking it. I don't need a shadow, I need a lover who understands me and what I am."

"I can do that." George gave him a squeeze on the butt. "This isn't about sex for you?"

Xander pulled back enough to grin at him. "Sex is always of the good."

George laughed. "Point. But you're looking for something more? You're not just with me because I'm funny."

"And cute."

"And cute," George agreed.

"Nope. I'm here because you can actually calm me down when I'm in a rage." He pulled them back to the bench and sat down, pulling George into his lap. "Ow, this is cold." He didn't move though. "Sex is great, but I've had that. My last girlfriend was all about that and I nearly married her, but someone stepped in to show me what my life would be like ten years down the road and it horrified me." He picked up both of George's hands to hold them, and to warm them because they were cold. "I really need someone who's there for me, not because I'm cute, or because I can fight well, or even because they're trying to find an ally. I need someone who's there for me, focused on me, and who wants me for all of what I am." He looked his boyfriend in the eyes. "Do you think you can do that?"

"That's what I started out to do," George told him; then he kissed him hard.

Someone, or actually a few someones, started to clap. There was even a wolf whistle. Xander flipped them off behind George's back. "Can't a guy get a kiss?" he yelled when he pulled back to breathe.

"Preferably not in front of the students," McGonagall said, making them jump apart. She smiled at them. "While I enjoyed it immensely, you are needed inside and it's cold out here, boys. Come get warm so you can sneak out again later."

Xander grinned at her. "Later, I'm going to take him back to my room and make him give me a backrub and teach me how to play Quidditch." He took George's hand and walked past a number of his students, who all looked like they had been caught outside too. "Come on, guys, let's go get warm so we can do more of this." The kids followed him inside.

McGonagall stole George for a moment while Xander was distracted by a third year asking him to dance. "Do be good for him," she said quietly. "He deserves it."

George smiled at her. "I'm going to try. That's what we were talking about."

"What I saw had nothing to do with discussion," she said, a twinkle in her eye as she walked away.

George looked over, smirking when he saw the height difference between Xander and his current dance partner. That was so cute. He sat down to wait on his boyfriend's return, they were going to have a long night and he needed to conserve his energy. Dumbledore walked past and gave him a bright smile, and a wink. Yes, it was going to be a very long night indeed.

***

Xander walked into the headmaster's office, giving him a bright smile. "Hi. How do I fix this so it works?" He patted the top of the tv sitting in his usual chair. He was handed a small instruction book. "And the electricity part?"

"Put your wand against the plug and say, "Lightning." Dumbledore looked the boy over. He was wearing jeans, fairly tight ones, and a t-shirt/overshirt combination. "Are you leaving for a bit?"

"I need to go get movies and popcorn." Xander flopped down into the other chair. "I'd take George but I'd be afraid I'd have to drag along his father and explain everything to him. I figured I'd do that late next year, when I can take a whole day and get us a motel room." Dumbledore laughed. "You think he'll like it?"

"I think Arthur would love it, Xander." He crossed his hands on the desk. "What else did you have planned for today?"

"Just that and taking care of the chicks. There's snow against my window and they're fascinated with watching it come down. Oh, and I got the screen installed correctly so I can open the windows for them this spring. Thank you for digging that out for me."

"It was nothing. It was actually in the way of something I needed." He glanced at the tv. "Are you going to do that in your classroom?"

"I could, but there's almost no sitting space in there, and it's starting to smell. I was going to open the door for a few days to air it out." He grinned. "And to let Harry and Ron sneak down there without having to come get the keys."

Dumbledore laughed. "Good. Harry's working hard?"

"Very hard. He's built a lot of muscles. He's in the top four, he and Ron both. Draco's right up there with them too. He's been playing Quidditch every afternoon too so he can qualify for the team next year."

"Yes, I'm sure he'll be excellent, he is here." Xander grinned, he had loved the last match he'd seen - he had cheered for all his students, which earned him many funny looks since it was Gryffindor versus Slytherin. "Any news for Weasley?"

"He finally got a letter back, and they want to interview with him this spring, after he sends them some forms and an essay sorta thing. Something like college admissions I guess." He shrugged. "Ron was dancing around about it last week. Fred didn't even prank him when he snuck down to tell them and show off the letter."

"Good." Dumbledore stood up. "Did you get your pay?" Xander nodded. "You could have it directly deposited to the bank if you wanted."

Xander shuddered. "Eww. I heard about the ride down there. I like rollercoasters, but that just sounds like my stomach's going to turn."

"I'm sure they're used to it."

"Maybe, but I'd rather have it in my hand. Just in case, ya know." Dumbledore nodded. "Did you give me a raise?"

"No, but I figured that you'd need January's pay to buy the old broom that I heard was being sold."

"I did, thanks," Xander admitted. "It flies really great. George, Madam Hooch, and I all burned the p.o.s. as soon as I paid for the new one. She said that's the right way to honor a broom with as long of a history as mine had to have had."

"Yes, she holds a funeral pyre each year for broken student brooms. Quite moving last year if I remember right." He stood up. "Did you need help getting that downstairs?"

"Nah, if I can move a recliner, I can move a little tv." Xander stood up and hefted the tv. "See, we're all good as long as I can make it down your stairs."

"Stand on the second one down and they'll go down with you," Dumbledore advised. "Behave. I don't want to hear about you encouraging a food fight or anything."

Xander grinned at him, and it wasn't a nice one. "Oh, my students will still be learning this holiday. Just one lesson, but I'm sure they'll learn it." He walked out. "Thanks, Prof. I'll see you at dinner."

Dumbledore waited until he was sure the boy was gone to burst out laughing. That boy and those children were so adorable together. It was torture in miniature scale. He was looking forward to hearing the auror's assessment when one finally got here in February.

***

Xander walked into the Gryffindor main room, after having had to spell the doorway to let him in because no one answered the knock. "Ron!" he yelled. Ron came jogging down the stairs a few minutes later. "I'm going to London, muggle London. Wanna come? I can get you junk food."

Ron laughed. "No thanks, I'm trying to teach Harry a new strategy in Wizards Chess. He sucks badly at it." He glanced around. "How did you get in?"

"Gryphons are very good at picking locks," Xander said smugly. "Did you want anything?"

"Can you get my father something muggly?" he asked. "I'll pay for it and all, but I'm sure he'd love something funny and cute if it came from the muggle world."

"Can't figure out what to get him?"

Ron shook his head. "Not a clue. Used to be anything was laughed over, but he's had a hard year, what with Fudge trying to burrow into his arsehole to hide. He actually thinks my father and Percy will stand up for him against George."

Xander grinned. "Cool. Maybe I'll stop in and deliver the present. Something cute and funny?"

"Yeah, something he can look at and laugh."

"Done." He patted the kid on the shoulder. "Come down to my room tonight, we're doing muggle movies as a learning experience." Ron rolled his eyes. "These'll be okay, you'll see. You'll like what I have planned." He turned and walked out, forgetting to uncharm the doorway.

"Xander, the door," Ron yelled after him when it bounced open. He barely saw the wand flick before the door slammed in his face. He tried to open it and shook his head. "Door's stuck shut!" he called in warning as he headed back to his room. If it wasn't unstuck by lunch, they'd owl down to the headmaster, he could usually fix it. Hedwig was down getting plenty of attention, she'd do it for them.

Melody trudged down the stairs. "Fuck me!" she complained loudly.

"Eeww!" was heard from upstairs on the boys side.

She snorted and waved her wand at the door. "Open." It remained shut. "Unlock?" She pouted and stomped her foot. "That's no fair."

Hermione came down and whispered at the door, and it opened. "It's the lock sticking charm," she told her as she headed down to go to the library.

Melody glared at her back. So the girl wanted to play know-it-all with gryphon magic, huh? Well, they'd see who'd win. She stomped off, forgetting that Hermione and Ron had some of Xander's books.

***

Xander walked around London, eating his fries. He had been surprised at the exchange rate Gringotts gave him, but it was a great thing. He had a lot of money in his pocket, spelled so no one could pickpocket him, and a short list of things to get. He found the first thing he was looking for, a video store. He walked in and smiled at the person behind the counter as he walked back to look at the movies to buy. Renting would only cause problems. How would he list Hogwart's address? And these places usually needed a credit card. He spied the used bin and took his selections over there to look at them, grabbing some of his favorite Christmas specials from in there. "Yup, just so me," he said as he pulled out one last one. He found one in the comedy section that he had missed seeing and grabbed a Monty Python and a Benny Hill. Teenaged boys would appreciate it for the partial nudity if for nothing else. He carried his stack to the cashier and smiled at her again. "Hi."

"Starting a collection?" she asked as she ran the scanner over the price tags.

"Something like that," he agreed, pulling out the money to pay her. "Would you happen to know where a kitchy sort of store is? I need to get something funny and cute for my future father-in-law."

She laughed. "There's one of those *wonderful*," she said dryly, "tourist shops on the next corner. Or try about five blocks to the west. There are a bunch of little places down that way." She took his money and gave him change back. "Anything else?"

He leaned closer. "I need to find a porn shop," he said seriously.

She smirked. "Go toward the shops in the west. 'Bout half way there, there's a nice group of them. Most of the rest are farther away." She handed him his bag. "Thank you for shopping with us."

He waved and left, heading what he thought was west. But hey, the cabdriver had been nice, even if he had hiked the price a bit.

Xander found just the present for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and bought them, then he found the porn shops. He walked in and right up to the cashier. "I need something gay that's good for first timers."

The cashier looked at him in shock. "I can't help you. I only check people out, mate."

Xander sighed. "Okay. Is there anyone here who can help me?"

One of the customers smiled at him and slowly looked over his body. "Virgin territory?"

Xander turned and smiled at him as he turned a pale pink. "And my boyfriend wants to go farther but I'd like to know what I'm getting into first. So I need a few tapes, preferably with just the basic stuff, no kinks." It was much easier to talk to strangers about this than it was people he knew.

The customer laughed. "My, I'd heard all Americans were bold, but you're just delightful." He nodded and walked over to the videos, Xander following him. He picked out three of them. "These are great. That one's het," he said, waving at it, "but it's informative. Got a good preparation scene and it's about the same. This one's a bit kinky, but it's got good views, and that's all about sucking," he finished.

Xander looked at them, then nodded. "Thanks. Anything for pleasure viewing?" Another two were handed to him. "Hey, cool," he said, reading the back of one of them. He smiled at the customer. "Thanks, man." He walked over to the other stuff, looking at the toys, the lubes, the magazines. He found some lube and some condoms that sounded pretty good and added them to his stack. And something for Percy. He checked out, walking back toward where he knew the Ministry of Magic was. It wasn't a hidden building, just a boring, ordinary one. He walked inside with his bags and stopped at the receptionist. "Arthur Weasley please?" he asked politely.

The witch put out her cigarette. "We'll need to check your packages."

"Sure. Just don't blame me if you blush." He handed them over with a smile, nearly laughing when she quickly closed the one from the sex shop. "Which floor?"

"Take the stairs to the third floor. Turn left, go to the end of the hall. Percy's up there right now."

"That's cool, I need to see him too." He waved and jogged up the stairs.

The witch touched a button on her magic-based intercom. "Weasley, visitor for both of you." She let the button go and picked up her cigarette to relight.

Xander bounded into Arthur's office, giving him a hug. "Ron said I was to come give you a Christmas prezzie from the both of us, and I've got one for you too, Percy." He sat down and dug through the bags, coming up with six bobble-head dolls and the latest catalog for a scientific company. He handed them over to Arthur, then dug out the one he had gotten for Percy. He smiled as he handed it over. "For whenever you need it," he said with a fond tone of voice.

Percy looked at the ball gag in his hand, his mouth hanging open. "Wherever would I use this?" he squeaked.

"Fred," Xander said with a nod.

Percy burst out laughing. "I say, that's a wonderful idea." He tucked it into the biggest pocket in his robes so no one would see it after he left. "Thank you." He smiled at his father, who was playing with the dolls. "Those are cute."

"They're bobble-heads. Those are the entire royal family, those in line for the throne and in the press. Very British."

Arthur smiled at him. "Tell Ron I love them. Where did you find them?" Xander handed over the top half of the receipt. "Thank you, my boy." He leaned back. "Are you coming over for Christmas dinner?"

"No, I think I'll stay at school. I've got stuff planned for the kids in my advanced class." He patted the video bag. "We're going to watch movies with different fighting styles and some really campy stuff. It's part pleasure, part work, and then I'm going to jump them and give them a workout while they're tired so they can learn that lesson and skip it later in the year."

Arthur smiled. "You're certainly taking very good care of them. Ron's owls have all said that he adores your class."

"How's Harry doing?"

"One of the top four. He's not so fast on dueling, but he's good in other things. Plus, he's taking the opportunity to build up a lot of muscles so he has a better chance of playing Quidditch after school. He and Ron work out almost every day now."

"Good," Percy said with a nod. He stood up. "I'll see you at lunch?"

"Of course," Arthur said fondly. "We'll eat in the commissary. Xander?"

Xander shook his head. "I'm for the excess of fast food. It's been *ages* since I had any." He stood up, making sure everything was tucked nicely back into his bags again. He found one last thing for Arthur and pulled it out, handing it to him. "That's from just me." He waved and walked out, heading for Diagon and the floo home.

Arthur opened the card and smiled, letting Percy read it while he felt mushy. "That boy is wonderful."

"Indeed," Percy agreed with a smile. He went back to his office. Their tea break was over. He bypassed Minister Fudge as he walked away.

Minister Fudge walked into Arthur's office and closed the door. "He gave you gifts?"

"Christmas gifts from himself and my son Ron. Ron apparently thought I needed something to make me laugh." He touched the over-sized head of one of the dolls, watching as it bobbed. "Isn't it cute?"

"Are they magical?"

"Technical."

"I see." Fudge gave the toys a dirty look, then spied something lying on the floor. He picked up the tape, looking it over. "Monty Python and the Holy Grail?"

"Xander picked up some stuff for himself," Arthur said as he took it. He tucked it into his desk drawer. "I'll send it to him today. Thank you for finding it." Minister Fudge 'humph'ed and walked out. Arthur got up to see what else the boy had dropped. He found a magazine and another video, both of which made him blush. He quickly bundled them up and went down to the post owlry. He wouldn't dare use an official owl for these, he didn't want to give Minister Fudge any more reason to come after him. He sent a quick note in thanks for the gifts to both boys with it. He watched as the owl left, sighing in relief. He hadn't wanted to know that much about his son's sex life.

***

Xander walked into the Great Hall, back in a robe again, and walked up to the table set for everybody. Four of his students had stayed. "We're doing stuff in my room tonight," he said as he sat down. "Come on down and we'll even nibble." He smiled at Dumbledore. "Thank you for taking that owl for me."

Dumbledore blushed. "I didn't think anyone else needed to know what you had bought today. You're not showing that to the students, correct?"

"No, those are for personal use. That's okay, right?"

"Of course. I'm sure it will answer many questions you have about your..." He stopped. He couldn't think of a phrase that wouldn't give away the contents or embarrass him.

"The questions I've had about what to do with George?" Xander suggested.

"Xander, you didn't buy porn?" Willow sighed, shaking her head. "You don't need that. Try it, you'll figure it out."

Tara blushed. "Willow, it's different with guys," she said quietly. "They need stuff." Willow looked at her. "You know, *stuff*?"

Willow rolled her eyes and nodded. "I know. I'm sure he got some of that too."

"As enlightening as Xander's shopping habits can be," Giles broke in, "I don't think it's an appropriate topic for dinner conversation." He sent a glare at Xander. "Please keep them away from the students."

"We wouldn't want to see them anyway," Draco told him. He smirked. "Some of us don't need tapes."

Harry glared at him. "Some of you are overblown windbags."

"Unless someone wants to kiss each other, I'd stop it," Xander told them. Both boys blushed and looked down at their plates. "Thank you for stopping the argument. Do it later." He looked at Ron, who was just blushing. "Your father enjoyed the present I got him and I got Percy to laugh."

"He laughed?"

Xander nodded. "Yup, out loud and everything." Ron looked speechless. "I'm good. Your dad got bobble-head dolls and a new catalog."

Ron looked at him. "You made Percy lighten up. You're a God." Xander leaned over and told him what he'd gotten him. Ron started to snicker and had to jump up and run out into the hall so he could collapse in laughter.

"I'm good with the prezzies," Xander said smugly. He looked at the headmaster. "The only questionable thing I got for the kids to watch was rated PG-13 and is fairly old. It's comedy and no one goes totally topless."

Dumbledore snorted. "Thank you. I'm sure they'll enjoy it, being the age that they're at." He smiled at Hermione. "I saw that one and it was quite funny if I remember right."

Xander nodded. "I always liked it." He smiled at Ron as he walked back in. "Come eat so you can finish growing."

Ron retook his place and dished himself up some food once it appeared. He eventually looked at Xander. "You are a God," he told him, smiling at him.

Xander beamed.

***

Xander sat down with his large bag of McDonalds to watch the kids study the tv. "It's a muggle thing," he reminded them.

"You see pictures on that?" Ron asked. Xander nodded, pulling out a cheeseburger to eat. "What's that?"

"Fast food." Xander handed him the bag as he stood up. "I also got bags of popcorn and chips, plus some decent generic soda." He put his wand down and started the spell to run the machine, then popped in the first tape. "Okay, this one has a few martial arts fighting styles and a really good villain, but it's got an iffy plot." He started the tape and sat down again.

"It's too small," Malfoy complained. "It's hard to see."

"Then figure out a way to project the picture."

Hermione pulled out the book she carried with her, as did Ron, and both of them came up with a spell at the same time. They even cast it together, making a large sixty inch picture float in the air. They relocked their books and put them away.

"Nice work," Harry told them. He turned the tv around so they wouldn't get distracted from the minipicture. He also turned the sound up. Then he relaxed to watch the movie. This was a treat he hadn't enjoyed very often, even when he was living as a muggle.

Draco looked over at Ron and Xander, who were nibbling, and scowled. Xander handed him the bag and he shook his head. So Xander got up and got the muchies out of the bathroom where the sodas were on ice in the bathrub. He came back and laid them out, sitting down again. Draco looked them over, then carefully picked up a can of soda and a bag of chips. The soda's popping noise made him jump, but he sipped it. "Eww," he told him.

"The second one kills the taste," Xander instructed. "This was the other part of my life as a muggle." He watched as everyone got something to nibble on and started watching the movie again. Yeah, this was great. Next was a Christmas movie, Rudolph in claymation.

***

The whole group stumbled in for lunch looking like they hadn't slept yet and smiling. Even Hermione had liked Monty Python and Benny Hill. They took their seats. Giles smiled at them. "Good morning, did you have fun last night?"

"And this morning," Ron told him. "Straight through."

Willow snickered. "Monty Python marathon?"

"Shrubbery?" Harry responded.

"NIT!"

Xander snickered.

Dumbledore laughed.

Giles and Willow shook their heads, groaning.

Tara smiled at them. "Can I join you tonight?"

"Sure. I've got a few more that I haven't shown," Xander told her. "We've got enough movies to not show a rerun one for two more nights." All three boys looked at him in awe.

Tara smiled. "Good. I miss Christmas specials." She picked up a piece of meat and handed off the platter. "How did you like the Christmas stuff?"

"It was interesting," Harry told her. "I never knew how many versions of Santa Claus there were, and that's only in America." He handed off the meat platter. He'd finished off the last cheeseburger an hour ago and wasn't ready for that sort of real food yet.

Draco looked at two of the other students. "What were those books you used last night?"

"Mine," Xander told him. "Can't give them out to anyone." Draco raised an eyebrow. "I'll have to kill whomever lets them out into the normal wizarding world."

"Oh. Never mind then." He took some of the meat and put it on his plate. "Was a good image."

"They usually are," Ron sighed, glaring at Xander. "No more Ronmonkey."

Willow grinned at him. "But I like the Ronmonkey. It's cute. What's it singing now?"

"Hakuna Mattata," Xander told her.

She giggled. "At least it's not a dirty song anymore."

"I don't sing dirty songs," Ron reminded her. "My mum would kill me."

Harry nudged him. "It could be worse, everyone could know what you're talking about."

Willow smiled at him. "Xander created this illusion that was part Ron..." Ron jumped up and covered her mouth. "Okay, I won't tell," she said when she got free.

Draco laughed meanly. "I'm sure you enjoyed seeing your ancient relatives quite a lot."

"That's it," Ron said, standing up, nearly knocking over his chair. "Duel, now."

"Boys, stop it," Xander warned. "I wasn't kidding about the kiss and make up stuff." He buttered a roll and nibbled on it. "Sit. Now." Ron and Draco both sat.

"There shall be no dueling, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said kindly. "And you, kindly remember you are on probation." Both boys nodded, not looking at him. "Thank you." He smiled at Xander. "Were you going to have to leave again today?"

"Not unless someone wanted me to go get more fast food."

Hermione covered her mouth. "No thank you," she said as she burped. "Last night was enough." Ron started to open his mouth so she elbowed him. "Wasn't it."

Ron nodded. "I guess."

Giles cleared his throat. "Madam Pince told me she received a shipment of books today from the Watcher's Council. They sent quite a lot of their duplicate books for the dark arts section."

"Cool. Anything like what we use as a classification manual?"

"No, but I'll finally be able to pull pictures of nearly everything so I can finish writing a textbook for the class," Giles told him. Willow nodded. "Did you want to help?"

"No, but I may want to rearrange things. You originally gave them to me in a funny order and I rearranged the groups."

"That would be fine," Giles agreed. "Since it is your class and all." He smiled. "How are they doing?"

"As of the last test I graded, I've got two flunking, three D's. Five or six average students, one that does brilliantly, and one who it depends on the phase of the moon and her temperament." He grimaced. "Someone else gets Melody next year, okay?"

Giles nodded. "I dare say she's going to be going to the other side of the classes exclusively next year. She has no desire to learn from either Willow or myself."

"Hey, even better, she thinks Lupin's neat." He looked around. "Where is she?"

"Her mother showed up today. Melody stayed yesterday because she was being picked up instead of taking the Express," Dumbledore told him. "Her mother wanted a conference and update on her progress."

"I did that for you," Willow told him. "That way you wouldn't have to be in the same room."

"Hello, all," Fred and George said as they walked in.

George gave Xander a hug. "I saw what you gave Percy, meany," he whispered to him. He smiled at Dumbledore. "I was going to snatch Xander for a long fly and Fred wanted to borrow the other three. May we?"

"After lunch," Xander corrected.

"I've got lunch for us," George told him.

Xander shrugged and stood up. "Then I'm going to go for a fly. I'll be back about dinner time and we'll start again," he told the kids. They all smiled at him. "Coolness. Lets go grab my broom and cloak."

"You finally got it polished?" George asked as they walked out.

Ron looked up at his brother. "What did you need us for?" He took a bite of food as his brother took Xander's spot.

"Inventory and as a test group." Harry paled. "Nothing serious. You can do the inventory if you want."

Ron smiled sweetly at Fred. "So, did you get to see Percy's present yet? I know you went home yesterday."

Fred shoved him. "Yes. Remind me to get Xander back for that. I woke up in it this morning."

"What did he get Percy?" Hermione asked.

"Something naughty," Ron told her.

Fred gave her a deadpan look. "A gag so he could use it on me."

Hermione blushed scarlet. "Oh, my," she squeaked. Fred laughed. She hit him on the arm. "Oh, you! What did he really get him?"

Ron nodded. "Just what he said. Xander promised Percy he wouldn't play any jokes on him."

Hermione grabbed her goblet of juice to drink from, trying to hide her blush.

"Why would he get him that?" Harry asked.

"He snores," Hermione said firmly. The gentlemen all looked at her. "That's as far as I want my mind to go, thank you."

Giles cleared his throat. "I daresay I agree." He looked at Fred. "What did your father say about his presents. Xander was practically glowing about them."

"He showed them off to everybody. They ate dinner with us even. Took your seat, Ronikins."

Ron snorted. "I'm sure dad loved them all just as much as he does me." He quickly finished his lunch. "C'mon, I'll show you our training room if you want." Fred nodded so they left the hall. They found Xander and George about fifty meters down the hall. "You need some help finding your room, Xander?" he asked. He got flipped off. He almost said something, but Snape was walking up the hall so he pulled Fred with him.

"I do not believe this is the place for that activity," Snape said as he passed them by.

"We're in our twenties," Xander complained. "We don't have self-control yet." He pulled George down to his room to show him what else he had gotten. He didn't know George could blush that brightly.

***

Xander checked his watch. 3 am. A great time to do this. He stood up and turned off the tape. "Let's go train!" he said happily. Everyone glared at him. "This is the only lesson you'll be getting during the break but it's an important one." The four students stood up and trudged out of his room, going down the hall to the training room. "Cool, let's duel you guys."

"But we're tired," Hermione told him, nearly whining.

"Which is the point," Harry sighed. He looked at Xander, starting to glare. "We have to prove that we can fight while we're tired?" Xander nodded, smiling at him. "One duel?"

"For each of you." He pointed at the dueling mats. "Go for it and we'll go finish the movies." They trudged over to the mats and climbed up, facing off with each other. He crossed his arms as he watched them listlessly raise their wands. "Guys, pretend this is real," he called.

"Dear God," Snape said from the doorway. "It's break."

Xander looked over at him. "It'll only take a few minutes. I want to see if they can fight while they're tired." He grinned as he turned back to them. "Come on. Prove the second point too."

Harry fired a light at Ron, who flinched. "Sorry," he grunted, turning to hit everyone else, getting Malfoy really hard. "I'm done," he said, sitting down.

Ron got everyone very hard, and flopped down too.

Malfoy started to growl. His stomach hurt.

Hermione stood there, thinking. Then she shot both the boys as hard as they had hit Draco. "The second point was that, while you're tired your concentration and judgement are off." She hit Draco, sending him crashing to the floor, then walked away.

Draco drew his wand and got them all, making them scream. "I just get dirty when I'm tired, that way I can get back to what I had been doing." He strolled past Xander. "The point?"

"Both of them. Let's go back to the room and finish that movie." He let the two kids walk in front of him, but waited for Harry and Ron. "Did you understand?" he asked.

Ron nodded. "I agree with the ferret this time though, and it's an odd feeling." He yawned. "I think I'll crash out on your couch," he muttered as he walked away.

"Voldemort doesn't usually attack in the middle of the night," Harry complained.

"Are you sure about that?" Xander asked him. "Why would he wait and attack when people were expecting it? Evil is not only lazy, but it counts on the fear it raises." He pulled the boy closer by putting an arm around his neck. "Showing up in the middle of the afternoon doesn't give as much fear as showing up in the middle of the night. I bet that if you asked, the Death Eaters showed up quite often in the middle of the night, or when people just got back from vacation." He walked into the open portal to his room, letting Harry come in and get the door. "Evil doesn't want to make you comfy, it wants to make you crazy with fear and ready to beg them for mercy or to join them. That's how they get their rocks off."

Malfoy nodded. "My father started telling me stories this summer. Almost every single one was done at the darkest point of the night, done in groups, and they gave the family no chance." He paled out some. "And personally, I'd like to never think about it again."

Hermione looked at him. "You don't want to follow him?"

Xander sat down. "Part of knowing people means that you understand their personalities. Draco is a leader, he likes to be the head of everything. If he joined his father, he'd be a foot soldier. Whenever someone like Voldemort," he saw the winces, "oh, get over it," he told them. "When someone like that asshole builds an army, he can't stand being questioned. Everyone has to follow orders, even those who seem to have a lot of control don't because that takes away from the big guy's power base, which makes him feel weak and helpless, which pisses him off and he kills the person who's making him feel that way." He shrugged when Draco looked shocked. "I noticed a while back that you're not a follower, you could probably never be a follower, and it's not going to suit you." He looked at the group. "That's why he's here. Not to fight Voldemort like you guys, but because he's going to become a target."

Draco stood up. "Thanks a lot, Harris."

"Sit," Harry told him as he flopped down onto the couch. "He's right. Even if you take a neutral track, supporting your father but not joining him, you're going to become a target. He's trying to make sure that you live."

"Don't know why," Ron snorted.

"Ron," Xander warned. Ron looked away. "Thank you." He smiled at Draco. "It wasn't meant as an insult. It's meant as a reality check. Besides, maybe they'll start to leave you alone if they think that you're not going to be showing up on their doorstep at about this time of night."

Draco scowled. "Still shouldn't have said anything," he muttered.

Xander shrugged. "I'd rather have their support if I were you. They knew, they just didn't put the pieces together."

"Crabbe and Goyle have been giving your back funny looks," Hermione told him. Draco stared down at her. "They did it right before they left. It looked like worry, but also contempt."

"I think there's a great wonder about where you're going to stand," Harry told him. He smiled. "Feel happy, you're getting more discussion than I am for once." He smiled. "It could be worse. No one's suggesting that you're going to become an auror."

Ron laughed. "That'd almost be worth it so we could see his father's face."

"Or Snape's," Xander added. "Sit, Draco. You're part of this group. You don't like these guys, and they don't like you, but it's all good if you're willing to deal with it like the adults you're becoming."

Draco sat back down, but he didn't lose his frown. "My father's been hinting that I'm going to have to prove myself," he admitted.

Harry sat up and looked down at him. "How?" Draco shrugged. "Well, and I say this under duress, if you don't follow your father, I'll help you anyway." He leaned back. "Movie?"

Xander turned on the movie. "There you go." He smiled at Draco. "If you need anything, I'm going to be right here. I am one of those people you can run to, no matter what you've done." He looked at Ron. "Even you guys can come running if you need it." He turned up the volume and grabbed a soda to relax. He mouthed 'sorry' when he caught Malfoy staring at him.

The boy shrugged and went back to the Christmas movie. He could devise a devious plan to get the teacher back in a few hours, when he wasn't so tired.

***

Part 3