Notes: this is a spin off of Dark GHS. It is before they move to Denver in the last epilogue. It is AU from after the SPN boys join up and come over, after the dogs are killed, but before we get Harry and his boys or the gun shop is set up. Also, all hail Babblefish for translations!
Do we realize I wrote the first GHS story in the fall of 2000? Just before I got the cats actually. I missed this world.
The Empire of GHS.
The quiet team walked into a hallway. They had taken out the major threats but Cougar and Jensen both swore they had heard people down here. They kicked in a door and Clay walked in, looking around, focusing on the two hostages chained to the bed. Both young men with dark hair and blinking hard at him. "You two all right?"
"Dad?" they said in unison.
Jensen walked in and scanned around. He knew *exactly* what was going on here. "Boys," he said firmly. He walked over to undo the shorter one. He seemed more lucid. "Got a name?" he asked quietly.
"Dean Winchester. That's my brother Sammy. Is that our Dad, dude?"
Jensen smirked. "No, I don't think he has sons. Especially not your ages." He helped him up. Sure enough, he could see the little blue lightening on the rub marks. "You two will be fine." He got Sam undone. "C'mon, let's get you two into the fresh air."
Dean blinked at him. "We deserve to loot this fucker for him kidnaping our asses," he said bluntly. "If you can find my phone, I can get us a ride back."
"Sure," Clay said, helping them walk out. "Where are you two from?"
"Miami." Sam grinned at him. "You do look just like our Dad."
"Forgive him, we got given some nasty ass drugs that're clouding us a bit." He wobbled them outside. Sam got put against the building. "Any of them left?" he asked.
"Quizá (Maybe)," Cougar said in Spanish.
"Not that we've seen," Pooch translated.
Dean nodded, grabbing the guy's gun and shooting the demon over his shoulder. "Fucker, not like you're going to get us either or I'm fucking siccing Xander on your whole damn clan!" He handed the gun back butt first. "Sorry."
"Who are you two?" Clay demanded.
Dean blinked at him. "GHS, dude. Find our phone so we can get a decent ride home?" He looked around. "Anyone seen our car? A black Impala?" Cougar pointed down. He looked, wobbling some. Jensen caught the back of his shirt. He looked at him. "Cool. Thanks. It'll follow us back to Miami." He got free and went to check Sam.
"He'll be fine in a little bit. Let it lessen in his system," Jensen said.
"No, dude, this stuff in GHS members can take *weeks*. Even the super special ones." He shot him a look. Jensen groaned. "Xander had it for weeks the last time he got dosed." He knelt, patting Sam's face. "Hey, wake up for me, Sammy."
Sam blinked. "Shut up, Dean. I'm not six and we don't have school today."
"Yay. We're in hostile territory, baby brother. You know the drill."
Don appeared in a flash, looking around. "What the fuck?" he demanded, glaring at Dean. "Didn't I kill this fucker last week for trying to get into his weapons?"
"We thought so," Dean said with a small shrug. He pointed at the dead demon the others were staring at. "He tried to take advantage of it."
"I'm so siccing Xander on his whole clan." He noticed the team, tipping his head to the side. "Are you related to the boys?" he asked him.
"No," he said. "But they thought so."
"Yeah." Don nodded. "Let's find their stuff. That way we can have the retrieval team help you guys too." He walked in and paused. "I can hear your ass and I'm bringing Xander!" he shouted. One came jogging out, bowing to him. "Give me the boys' shit, now. Everything and all the other wallets in the house and anything pretty. You know the cost of kidnaping a GHS." He nodded and ran off, looking sweaty. "Any official intel he has goes to the soldiers," he ordered. He shook his head. "Damn," he muttered. "I'm channeling Ray today for some reason." He heard a quiet snicker and looked. "Detective Mystick."
"Don." He shook his hand. The others glared at him. "Relax, people. I had nothing to do with this."
"Can you get the Impala home?" Don asked quietly. "You know the spell on it."
"I do and I can." He smiled. "This one does have a twin. That is who you shot."
"Good! The boys got a demon too."
"I saw. I'm here for him." He went to gather the being's body, shaking his head. "His mother is going to be so upset with him for being stupid enough to go after that family grouping."
"Who the hell are you?" Clay demanded. This was getting stranger than he was comfortable with.
"Detective Mystick, DPP." He grinned at the confused looks. "Demonic police. We're a bit used to GHS and all this. Their family grouping gets a lot of the wrong sort of attention." He sent the body back. Don walked out with the phone, letting Dean call while he went back to ordering the minions around. "Don is not a happy boy. Xander's back must be out again." He shook his head. "Dean, Sam, I'll make sure your car gets back to Miami. That way it doesn't appear inside the plane or anything that could damage it."
"Thanks, Mystick," Sam said with a goofy grin and a wave. "You're really nice for being a vampire."
"Soshar, Dean Winchester and Sammy. We're somewhere canyon-y and Mystick is getting the car home. There's a commando team here to take out the guy who had us. Can you get us home? I know you're retired and all but I don't have Pieter's number. Please? You can talk to the guy who looks like Dad to arrange things." He yawned. "Good deal. Thanks, man." He handed over the phone. "Let me nap, guys. If the threat's done with?" They nodded and Dean passed out.
Mystick shook his head. "That's so sucky for them."
"They're full GHS?" Cougar asked quietly in English.
"Oh, yes, and what you think they are as well." He smirked. "There's a few in there, including the head of the family. He might go destroy another realm for this." He got his fellow detectives and rookies to move the Impala for the boys. Xander might take out their realm if they didn't and they liked Xander.
Clay took the phone. "Who is this?"
"Soshar Reynolds?" he demanded, looking confused. "I thought you went private."
"I did. I help retrieve kidnaped people like Dean and Sam there." He snickered. "Dear, can you please get the other guys on the other line? Dean and Sam are drugged and somewhere. They didn't have Pieter's number." He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I retired because the wife said she wanted kids. What do you know about GHS?"
"Not a damn thing," Clay said. "Are they special in some way?"
"Yeah. They have really high pheromone output and they get kidnaped all the time because of it. We can get you guys back to the States with them if you want."
"We're under the radar thanks to Max's idiocy," he said quietly.
Soshar snorted. "We have ways around that too, Clay. I'll have Pieter meet you in Miami. You remember him?"
"Slightly. You have KGB people?"
"Sometimes we have to. These guys are natural born concubines. You ran into some of the few that can actually defend themselves."
"Two people just showed up out of nowhere?"
"A Detective Mystick and another guy?"
"Don," Mystick called. He came out. "Soshar wanted to know which one of you was here."
"I'm supposed to be on shift," he admitted. "Need more help than this?"
"No, he said he has a way," Clay said.
Don smirked. "That's why we adore our group's rescue team. They *always* have a way." He got sent back by the detective once the boys had their things and the others had handed over their stuff. The minion guy was back to hiding somewhere in the kitchen. Don had even gotten them bottles of water.
Jensen opened his and took a sip. "This is not how jobs usually go." He took a larger sip. "Sam, do you have a picture of your father?" he asked casually. He was awake again.
"Yeah, dude." He opened his wallet and took one out to show him with a goofy grin. "That's our parents. And dude, we so know," he said quietly.
"Good. I'm not real good at giving the newbie lectures."
"The house we're staying in is on holy ground if you need to break your path for a day or so. Plus Xander has a lot of underground contacts."
"Holy ground?" Jensen asked. Cougar groaned, shaking his head. "I thought that was a myth."
"No. Xander trained us, including in a unique fighting style, so he can help you guys if you want." He grinned. "He claims he's bored anyway and bored is a bad thing because then the hormones back up and we get taken."
"We'll see." He looked at the picture, showing it to Clay. "You do look just like him."
He took it to look at, shaking his head. "He might be a cousin or something. I don't think I've met him." He handed Sam the photo. "Relax. Soshar said that you should be okay in about an hour."
Sam shook his head. "He gave us goofy, raising drugs too. I'd blast the demon that just appeared behind you guys but I might get you too and I don't need more people drooling on me please." He got up with a moan, putting Dean aside. "Anyone got a sword? They need beheaded."
"You're in no shape," Jensen assured him.
Sam stared at him. "We've been demon hunters since I was a baby. There's no such thing." He got handed one by the detective, who walked off with his fingers in his ears. "Thanks, Detective Mystick." He attacked the demon, making him moan. The others watched and Jensen moaned too. "Fucking idiot demon. We know you should know how to say no."
"Just kill it, Sammy," Dean called. "Because I can't move yet." He tried but he couldn't make it to sitting. He looked around. "Huh, snakes too. Sammy, snakes." Jensen shot the one that had bitten him. "Thanks, dude. I'll have Xander cook you guys dinner or something." He smirked and concentrated but it wasn't going to get his healing to work any faster this time.
"Did that thing summon the snakes?" Clay demanded.
"Yup," Sammy said, taking a wild swing to get closer, then he hormoned the demon. It groaned and reached for him, which meant it quit defending itself. So he took its head. "Hey, no quickening. That's a nice change." He yawned. "Hmm, still snakes." He frowned. "I want Xander's touch of magic ability," he complained quietly with a pout. He stabbed most of them but the guys shot a few to protect them too. Sam grinned. "You're really nice even though you do look like our dad and he was a hardass." He sat down next to Dean again and yawned.
"Dragon breath," Dean complained, pushing at his head. They were both half asleep again.
Clay listened to the guy on the phone. "Yeah, we can do that. Thanks." He hung up. "Detective, he said you can get us back to Vesvold's place then to Xander's?"
"I can. It'd probably be safer. They won't try to hurt the boys." He snapped and they were all there then in a backyard behind a large, pretty house with a lot of trees. "Xander?" he called. Xander came bouncing out and paused, staring at the same guy. "Dean and Sam said the same thing."
"Huh. Okay. Well.... Guys, I have a safe spot to stay if you want to borrow it. If something tries to bother you I can beat their asses. Dean, Sam, you're back home, guys," he called loudly. "Aww, they gave you the herby things." Sam pouted and nodded. "I know. It sucks. It'll be days before you're back to normal. Take Dean inside. Take a bath or a nap." Sam nodded, taking him inside to nap. He grinned. "Thank you, guys. Do I need to help you guys get back to a mission or can I make you dinner?"
"We need to get our stuff sent." Mystick coughed and pointed then disappeared.
"Thank you," Xander called. He nodded. "C'mon, we'll let you use the mirror house." He got them inside and shown that doorway.
"This is freaky yet cool," Jensen said, looking around. "How did you do this?"
"A demon that wanted to own me did this actually. It's why we have four ferrets instead of two." He smiled and pointed. "Master's probably without sheets but the beds upstairs should have some or the linen closet is on that floor beside the bathrooms. Come back here and I'll cook you dinner." He bounced off.
Clay handed his bag off. "Drop it on mine," he told Jensen, getting a nod. He went to the kitchen. "You don't look that shocked to see us."
"That's because I'm not. Aren't you guys with the retrieval teams?"
"No, though I did talk to Soshar Reynolds."
"I miss Soshar. He was always so great about getting us out of the Middle East." He smiled. "I'm Xander. This is mine and my family's home. I'm with two detectives here in Miami."
"Is one named Don? We saw him briefly. He threatened someone with you."
"Yup," he said with a grin.
"What is with this hormone thing?"
"Oooh, you don't know. Um, I have the newbie packet around here in the library because I had to explain it to Dean and Sam." He went to get it and brought it back." He held it up. "We are absolutely quiet about membership because if we're not, we're taken a lot."
"I can understand that." Xander handed it over then pointed at the breakfast bar. "I don't need fussed over." He got pouted at and his stomach clenched. "How do you do that?"
"I'm double what the two upstairs have." He grinned. "Beyond that, I'm bored and I like to cook. I do a lot of it for the guys' station so I can make dinner and snacks and all sorts of things." He looked in the freezer and pulled out a pan. "Are you guys against ham?"
"No, we're all good with ham. Thank you."
Xander grinned. "Really, it's a good thing and it's livening up my life a little bit so thank you." He defrosted it then put it into the oven. He bounced off to get more things for dinner.
Clay watched him while he read the information. What he saw amused the hell out of him. "Is Chuck DeLorentis one of you?"
"Um.... Not heard of him." He went to the office to get a small booklet, walking back looking that name up. "Yes but he's listed as missing and in Asia. So apparently he got snatched and they haven't been able to find him or he said he wanted to stay when Soshar's guys found him." He looked at him. "Was he one of you?"
"I served with him for a bit."
"Yeah, there's been a handful of us in the military." He checked the ham then went to do something. "Guys, the washer's free if you need it," he called over. He dumped the basket of stuff on the bed to be handled later. He went back to making a salad. He looked at him. "You really do look a lot like John Winchester."
"They asked me that same thing. He might be a cousin but I've never heard of him."
"Interesting. Well, maybe you're not a clone or anything then." Clay gave him a dirty look. "What? Someone who wanted me made me a clone." He shrugged. "A robotic one too but that one was never turned on before he died. He left me an island too. I let Jace have it." He went back to his salad making. "Anyone allergic to anything?"
"Not that I'm aware of." He went back to reading. The kid was acting like the information said so he was probably backed up. The drugs were explained too.
Cougar came over. "Usted don' t tiene que(You don't have to)."
Xander patted him on the cheek. "You need to stay strong." He got back to it. "Beyond that, I'm bored." He gave him a look. "You guys are keeping me from going to play poker with the thugs here in town."
"You play poker with thugs?" Clay asked.
"Yeah. I need to go pressure some people to pay up too. The two new Columbians in town who want to think they're not really drug dealers, just land barons, need to pay my ass soon before I turn them in for it." He shrugged and went back to his salad making. "Washer's around the corner if you need it."
"Sure." He went to get his clothes. They could all use some stuff washed. Jensen smirked.
Pooch shook his head. "No way am I adding anything you've turned pink." He started his own load and let the others know that dinner was going to be real food. He heard someone come in and they all got quiet.
Don leaned in a minute later. "Hey, guys. Thanks for saving them." He grinned. "Xander's in high spoil mode but don't take his chocolate from him please. I don't need pouted at all night." Xander swatted him. "Hey!" He smirked at him. "C'mon, let's go fold the clothes you dumped." He walked him into the master bedroom to do that.
Clay brought the information packet to that other house. Jensen frowned. "I've heard rumors but nothing concrete on this."
"I served with one way back when," Clay admitted. Cougar shook his head quickly. "He plays poker with thugs too."
"Not if we catch him," Danny called as he walked past the doorway. "Because then I spank."
"The two Columbian land barons owe me three mill," Xander called. "They pay up tomorrow or they're going to be turned in. I didn't turn your socks funny colors this time."
"Thank you." He went in to help with the laundry. He was a bit picky about some things. "The new guys?" he asked quietly. "Students?"
"Two might need it," Xander said quietly, shrugging a bit. "Otherwise, they rescued Sam and Dean."
He nodded. "Figures."
Don grinned. "He does look just like their dad." Xander nodded. He went to check on dinner while they finished with the laundry. They shared a look and shook their heads. They were going to have wear Xander out again. Which meant they'd be tired tomorrow. He felt the other immortal come closer and looked. "Hey. This is Danny. He's a CSI in the local department whereas I'm Homicide."
"Hi," he said. Jensen moved closer. "You guys all know about the immie stuff, right?"
"Could say that since we all are," Don said with a grin. "How long?"
"Few years. You?"
"Two hundred," Danny said with a grin. "Don and Xander were both my students." Jensen relaxed and nodded. "Who taught you?"
"I got some long-distance teaching from the guy who found me when I woke up."
Danny moaned. "We'll talk after dinner, make sure you're up to date. That way you know what you need to so you survive longer."
"Yeah, we can't take heads on holy ground or really bad shit happens," Danny said. "He didn't tell you that?"
"Yeah," Don said with a nod. "Like cataclysmic event bad thing from what we're told."
"That's good to know. Um, the other of us isn't much older," he said quietly. "The others don't know."
"Stay up tonight, we'll talk while Don wears Xander out." He smiled. "If you were GHS, Xander could teach you the same sword style he taught the boys. Only they seem to be able to do it though."
"That's cool. Swords?"
"Dude, you so need a long lecture," Xander said as he walked in. He gave him a hug. "It's okay though. We taught Dean and Sam as a family. We can help you too." He grinned. "Like peaches or cherries?"
"Either's good. You really don't have to spoil us."
Xander snorted, giving him a look. "I'd treat anyone who saved family members. Beyond that, I'm bored and you guys are helping cure it for a few hours. Therefore, don't whine at me."
"Xander, how deep do your underground contacts go?" Jensen asked, following him back to the kitchen. "Have you heard of someone named Max?"
"Heard of but otherwise not a whole lot. Why?"
"He kinda is trying to take us out. We're worried he might come for you because of us."
Xander stared at him. Then he smirked. "We'll see what I can find, Jensen." Jensen grinned back. "If we need to, we even know people who can make new identities. Because sometimes we need them ourselves." He grabbed a phone to call someone. "Oh, great debt book holder, two things." He grinned at the complaints. "I'm sorry you have an Econ test tomorrow, Wyatt. That's why I didn't go to college."
He snickered. "No, two things." He checked the ham and pulled it out to test the temperature of it. "The two supposed land barons? They have a day. I'm tired of it already and my attention span is back to spoiling my boyfriends so they work less. Two, someone rescued Sam and Dean and they need some help. Can you send the French bastard my way please? Yes, him. Thanks.
"No, just a quiet talk in the back yard. Yes, those two fucking morons. Because I'm bored. I've been bored all day. That means I rearranged my blackmail files and all that." He grinned. "Thanks. Making dinner. I can make him a hamburger since he only eats cow. Thanks, dear." He blew a kiss and hung up. "Danny, we're having a talk in the backyard later."
"That's fine. Let me know if we can have their files if they don't pay you." He came out to look. "We're having ham?"
"No, you're having the cold stuff. They saved Dean and Sam so they're having ham." He took a kiss and looked at Jensen. "Tell them it's done?" He checked the other stuff. "The corn will take a minute more to warm up." He pulled down plates and let them dish up what they wanted.
"Oooh, that potato thingy Stella taught you," Don moaned. "Thanks, Xander."
"You're welcome too." He took another kiss and smiled at Danny. "See, I spoil you rotten."
"You do." They took their food to the living room.
"You can eat with us if you want," Xander offered quietly. "Or over there if you want to. Up to you guys totally." They nodded and took the food with them. It was good food, Xander could hear the moans. He got his own and went to eat until they had someone pull into the driveway. He bounced outside. "Hey."
"Xander. Is there a problem?" he asked quietly, glancing around.
"Some people saved Dean and Sam today for us. I'm doing them a favor."
"Okay. What do they need to know?"
"Some guy named Max."
He winced. "He's powerful."
"And I can still make him beg," Xander pointed out dryly.
"Good point. One of his lieutenants is in the poker circle."
"Really? Think we can get him?"
"I think it might make Max mad and he might come after you."
Xander leaned closer. "A mad Max is still able to be killed and I'm not really that killable."
"Good point." He grinned. "Who needed to know?"
"A guy who *really* looks like the students' dad."
"Clay?" he asked, looking confused.
"Yup. That's what he said his name was."
"Huh. Can I...."
"Yup." He walked him into the house and over there. "Guys, a friend from the poker games." Clay growled at him. "Do you need ear pets?" he asked dryly. Cougar laughed, shaking his head. His poker buddy rolled his eyes. "Sorry, the smartass came from Sunnydale." He grinned and left them alone.
Clay stared at him. "How does the kid know someone who's a spook?" he demanded.
"Xander is a card shark and *everyone* who plays in the underground knows him." He sat down. "A few years back I owed the Lord of the Hair in there about sixty grand. He's fair about it but those that don't pay him quickly enough he turns their files over to his boyfriends." He stared at him.
"One of Max's lieutenants plays in the poker circles locally. He owes Xander about fifty large and Max is very pissed at him for it. Max has wanted to know what is wrong with Xander a few times but no one's told him anything. Xander has underground contacts in intelligence, demons, criminals, past suitors, and there's even politicians that want a Xander of their own. Max tried once to have him snatched and Xander blew them up. Then he sighed and said he had made a mess. He's very unique when his hormones are backed up.
"We adore the guy. We really do. The whole underground loves Xander because he's fussy, he doesn't pretend to know anything he doesn't, he's a bit strange and gay but we like the guy. Even the gangs who hate gay guys like him. A few years back, he hormoned the head mafia guy in town to make him stop the crime wave so his boyfriends would make it home to fuck the hormones out of him sometime soon. He handed over who had done everything for the last month then went to screw a garden gnome."
"That guy Chuck?" Pooch asked.
"Yeah. The thing that got the General killed? That was because he was cheating Xander and the Mala Noche friend he had at cards." They all shuddered. They had heard about that mess. "He has tight ties to the crime lab and homicide through his boys and all of us know that. We all know that not paying fast enough means he turns us in." Clay smirked at that. "Caine ran a raid through our circle to get all the people on the Most Wanted and terror watch lists out of Miami. They still had to pay Xander."
"So he's a good guy, he just happens into things?" Clay guessed.
"Yeah, basically." He shrugged. "That and he loves weapons." They all moaned at that. "As in remember Taylor? Sniper in the Marines?" he asked Cougar. "I heard he trained your class." Cougar nodded. "He's now down here. Manhattan closed his lab and Caine poached beautifully. Taylor found out Harris had weapons and nearly died from the artillery. Caine has oversight on it, and the GHS retrieval guys can bum when they want, but the ATF looks over Caine's shoulder. They don't want to mess with Xander." He looked at Clay again, smirking evilly. "Heard about the guy who entranced the whole Bazaar?"
"That was him?" he demanded.
"Yeah, that was him getting some kidnaped people back. Helping Soshar's people. He's a good friend to have."
"Why does Max want him?"
"He wants his contacts, his weapons, and to see what makes him so special."
Xander brought in the formerly frozen pie. "Store bought, guys. Sorry." He put it on the table with a grin. "Is he the guy that I had to hormone to make him quit staring at my hair?"
"When?" he asked. "I haven't heard anything about that."
"Yesterday. One glove, cheesy Fantasy Island suit?"
"That's him," Clay growled.
Xander smiled. "Then he's probably still at a brothel trying to get it out of his system." He shrugged. "I don't want the putz in my city. Let me know if he's around and I'll make him beg more than I did Sassone." He bounced off. "We have six flavors of ice cream if you guys want some."
"Thanks," Jensen called, going to get some. He brought back bowls and grinned as he sat down. "He's so spoiling us."
"It's good food," Pooch agreed. "I called the wife, told her to stay with your sister for now."
"Thanks. So he's in town?"
"He was. I'm not sure if he still is. Though Xander's probably right, he's probably still in a brothel." He looked at them then at Clay again. "Think about signing on with Soshar's group? They could really use the help. They're going to have to hire outside again soon. There's been six kidnapings in the last few weeks. All but one in Asia."
"I can talk to him about it," Clay agreed. "We are for hire at the moment."
"Xander's one of the best guys to know in town. If he doesn't know them, they know him. He can do things with a sword that'll make you cum as you die. It's totally impossible for anyone not GHS. Oh, if he ever offers you some fudge he made? Eat the fudge. It's so damn good it showed me how empty my life was of pleasure. It made me miss my ex-wife, guys. Honestly." Clay's mouth opened then he shook his head quickly. "I don't eat sweets so I took a small piece to be kind. The shit's addictive."
"I'll remember that. How major is he in the local underground?"
"He's hugely known but he treats us all like poker buddies who play an occasional hand in his garage or something."
"Would Max be able to get him?"
"Even if he snatches him when he's spending thousands shopping because he's bored he'll destroy Max for it. Then he'll kindly make sure any pets he had are adopted out. The kid fights off at least one kidnaping attempt a month. If not ten or twelve usually. You have some slow months when his boys are on injury leave so they keep him pretty worn out." He looked at the stuff on the table then at them. "Clearly he's backlogged again. He tends to get scatterbrained, flitters here and there, can't concentrate, all that. Then he often goes shopping or riding his horse."
"He goes out when he's like that?" Pooch asked.
Their informant nodded with a smirk. "He's strong enough that a meter maid who was trying to have his special SUV towed because he was gay and dating a gay detective or two, made him blast her with his hormones. He got a good few blocks. Oh, and that sword stuff? If you catch him doing katas, just hit the bathroom. It's all anyone can do. He's caught drug lords who swore up and down they were straight with that." He stood up. "I'll tell him if I hear Max is local. What he did to you guys and others sucks. Oh, Aisha's in Paris right now."
"I heard," Clay admitted with a grimace. "She finding more information?"
"I don't know but I know she and Xander won't get along real well. He'll kitty hiss then take off her head. He's fond of that approach. Because I'm sure she'd try for his man." He left them alone. That was a very interesting note to have. Though, plenty of people were betting who would win the battle between Xander and Max. His money was on Xander. Anyone who could make half a shopping center fall to their knees to have sex immediately would win against most anyone.
Clay looked at his people. "This gets more and more interesting." He dug into his pie and ice cream, moaning. "That's good ice cream." He ate more. "Why did he want to talk to you, Jensen?"
"Mutual friends." He stuffed his mouth, looking at Cougar. "I was going to bring him."
"That's fine. We have an orchard outside this house. We can get some fresh air." That got a nod and they finished up then went to talk to the family for a bit. Clay would ask him again later, when he was half-asleep. That way he got a better answer. Things were very strange and that wasn't his thing in the least. Though he did want to look up this guy he looked like. There was something strange there.
Jensen sat down next to Don. "How old are you?" he asked quietly.
"About as old as I look." He smiled. "I was freaking out at the quickenings I could feel so Danny kindly shot me the same night Xander came over." Xander nodded. "A head hunter nearly got him."
"How trained are you guys?" Jensen asked.
"Very," Xander said. "I took training off-realm at a temple of Ares." They both stared at him. He grinned. "Ryan Wolfe, who you'll probably meet sometime soon, is a high priest. I'm a priest to Ares, Cupid, and Strife."
"Wow," Jensen said. "So this holy ground stuff?"
Danny went over all the immortal rules. Jensen had taught Cougar what he knew when he had come across. Jensen's training hadn't been all that clear and he needed some. Including sword work. Xander could work on that with them while they were in Miami. They were fit so it wouldn't be that far outside of their training. They went up to the practice area to show them how it was done at the barest levels. It'd take them weeks to get up to a good fight but they might not have it. So they had to act quickly. Especially since there was an immie stealing immie GHS members so he could kill them at his own pleasure.
Xander walked into his next poker game with Pooch, Clay was listening from the car and watching their backs. The guys in there glared at Xander. "He helped save Sam and Dean, guys." He sat down, looking at them. "So I'm spoiling them for a few days." He grinned. "This way they have operating capital."
"Then I'm out or I'll never be able to pay the rent," one guy sighed.
"I was going to sit here and be pretty for a few more hands," Xander offered. "That way I can ask Fu a question." They all grinned at that. He walked him to the dining room, staring at Fu. "Hey."
"Xander." He led him to a table and sat down with him. "I have heard why and what you're looking for." He glanced at the other man then back at him. "While I'm usually neutral, this is a bad thing to have in our city. Especially since I think you'll cause a mess defending yourself because he wants you."
"He can't have me."
"He has been having people look at your weapons storage area."
"I heard." He smirked. "Conlon told me that he was behind the last kidnaping attempt I had to make messy too."
"A more subtle one as well. I have someone coming to talk to your companions today. Is the other one here?"
"Guarding my pretty ass," Xander said with a smile. "Thank you, Fu. I know you're usually neutral and you pride yourself on it."
"I don't want to see what Caine would have to destroy to get you back this time." He gave him a pointed look.
"No, that slave market in LA was me losing my temper, Fu. I'm a berserker." Fu gaped, then shuddered. "Exactly." He smiled. "How did he get the lust bug for me?"
"Oh." He shrugged. "It was helpful." He pulled out his phone to call someone. "Mac, the information I had that someone was checking out the weapons are was correct but he's so high in the underground and other areas that we'll get panicking dirty Feds. Yeah, I'm working on it. Just make sure it's safe for me please. I'd hate to have to kill someone for taking my babies. Thank you and of course I'll bring lunch next week." He hung up with a smile. "Which person that owes me money is his dweeb?"
"The nervous one." He smirked. "By the way, the Columbians are pissed."
"I can go visit and hormone them if they want."
"Your overseer would be highly upset if you did that."
"Probably, yeah." He grinned. "Anyway...." He smirked. "I need into the bag that has the gear if I might."
"That would be fine. I've heard why." He sent Xander's debt book keeper to get it. He came back with that and his book, to show him which 'dweeb' it was and how much was owed to him.
Pooch stared at the book in awe. "Half of those are underground and a few are CIA."
"Yes, we've had an unfortunate set of them retiring down here," Fu said dryly. "Speaking of, there's another agent trying to get back into good graces, Xander. I want you to meet him just in case you need his help or his contacts. He could definitely use yours."
Xander looked at him. "Does he belong to that flirty piece of trashy ho?"
"I met him through her. He was helping rescue someone that got kidnaped down to here on their way to Panama. Pieter and the boys had asked me to step in and help them so I ran into them." He grinned. "That one guy reminds me of the actor on the Evil Dead movies but a bit less happy." He shrugged. "Anyway, we have a truce and he knows where I am. He knows not to bother my weapons. She knows not to flirt with me because Danny's going to rip her face off next time." Fu snickered and nodded. "And Ryan backed that one up. He decided I'm very strange but apparently very good at what I do. So if you hear he needs me for something, send him to wherever I am at the time. You know I'm bored half the time."
"I know." He got up to talk with someone who came in.
Xander looked then at Pooch. "He owes me about fifty large too I think."
His debt keeper looked up then shook his head. "He paid yesterday, Xander."
"Cool. Thank you," he called with a grin and a wave.
"Thanks for giving me the extra time, Harris. Did you see the guy in the car?"
"Yeah, he helped Dean and Sam yesterday when they were snatched." He went pale. "And I'm told that the problem thinks my hair is cute."
"Fuck," he muttered, shaking his head. "We'll miss you." Xander snickered. "He's powerful."
"Stronger than any of you guys when I'm on a backed up day?"
"No," he admitted then grinned. "That's a good point. If you were a normal guy...."
"I'd just shoot him or offer him to a demon as a slave," Xander quipped.
"Even better point. You've never been normal." He went to the poker room. "You playing?"
"In a few." He went back over his debt book, pointing. "That's him, right?"
He pointed. "He paid. That was last week's page, Xander."
"Oh!" He looked it over. "This is his dweeb?"
"Yup. He's at the docks usually. Or he's at Hervet's games. Which you're still not allowed at."
"Ryan is. Dean is."
"Dean is." He pointed. "He's a problem. No one's seen him in days."
Xander grimaced. "I'll ask the boys, see if they arrested him." He kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Wyatt." He walked Pooch back into the poker room and sat down, pulling out some money. The guys made room for him and he played 'for gas money' like usual. Fu brought him the gear bag when he got ready to leave. "Thanks, Fu. I'll bring it back in a few."
"Wolfe authorized one guy to get into it when it was desperate and helping them," he said quietly.
"That's cool. Thank you." He took his winnings and walked off. They got into the car and he handed Clay the money with a grin.
"How did he do that?" he asked his teammate.
"I don't know. They all moaned a lot but he's not broadcasting or anything."
"I'm not allowed to in there." He grinned. "The luck is with me sometimes." They both nodded and drove back to the house. He carried the gear bag into the living room. "Jensen, want some new toys?" he called. He came jogging out with a grin. He handed him the bag. "A friend who retired from the making of underground toys and moved to LA made those for me as a poker repayment."
He sat down to look them over. "Wow. That's a new card maker."
"That's hooked into the system." He grinned. "It's also got a printer that can make other things like birth certificates." Xander got into the laptop to log in under that user name and password. He had to find the password in the bag when he couldn't remember the right one but that was fine. He let him take the cameras to do the pictures and came back to print out new licenses and passports plus all the other documents they'd need. Jensen checked, they were in all the proper systems and all that.
"This is absolutely cool and I could use this in the field so often."
"Now and then I let the PD use it for abused spouses and some friends who need it desperately." He gave him a look, getting a grin back. "So anyway." He handed over the last thing that had printed. "Ink's a bit weak."
"It looks faded so that's fine." He ran a finger over it. "Stamped too."
"Yeah." He grinned. "Happy learning."
Jensen picked up the stacks and carried them to the others. "Guys." He handed over the stacks of documents.
"Wow," Clay said. "That's a really good fake."
"It's not a fake. It's in the system," Jensen assured him with a smile. They all stared. "A former poker buddy who retired and moved to LA. He lets the PD use it sometimes for protection."
Clay nodded, looking them over. "That's really good. I know people who'd sell their kids to get this stuff in the right hands." He packed them into his wallet and bag where they needed to go. The new papers were going to be very handy. Jensen had made two sets with two different names just in case. He heard someone come in the back door of the main house and paused. Xander said something and handed in something to them. Then he left with the guy. He read it. "Huh. Dean wanted to go visit the present warehouse."
"Presents too?" Pooch asked.
"I looked up GHS people," Jensen told them. "They're basically like favored concubines. I'm guessing there's people who want his attention."
Sam walked in with a pot of coffee. "There are. Dean got word that someone dropped something massive in there so they're going to look. Horatio likes to have it checked at least weekly because it might be a living thing again. Someone sent him a tiger cub and a few mummies once." They all groaned. He refilled the cups. "Thank you, guys."
"Um, Sam, are you broadcasting?" Clay asked quietly.
"Yeah. Those drugs make it so we can't tell and regulate it. So we'll be highly hormoned for the next few days." He shrugged. "Sorry."
"No, just wondering if that's what that was."
"Be thankful it's not Xander. He's enough to start orgies without realizing it when he's backed up." He left them alone, going to practice upstairs. He came back down. "I need to practice my sword work. Anyone want to help me spar? I'm too used to sparring with Dean and Xander."
"Sure," Jensen agreed. "I'm very new to it though."
Sam grinned. "That's cool. I learned the traditional way and then Xander's way. Ryan too. He got trained at a temple of Ares thanks to being kidnaped with Xander and Horatio." He got Jensen a sword and they went out back. He taught him the basics and then worked out against him. The others came out to watch and it was amusing. Cougar needed the same lessons so he came over to take over when Jensen was tired. That worked a bit better. Clay groaned, shaking his head when Sam offered him a turn. Pooch too, citing his son. Sam grinned and pointed at the hot tub then went back to shower and change clothes. He came down to browse the fridge, pulling out lunch stuff.
Dean walked into the station carrying something. He put it on Don's desk. "Oh my god what is that?" Don complained, getting away from it.
"It's what they gave Xander this time." He stared at him. "I'm pretty sure he used to be on your caseload before someone turned him into a tar ball. We couldn't get anyone to come out for over an hour." He smirked. "Danny's phone wasn't working at all."
"Huh. Someone get one of the CSI guys?" he called. The watching officers called. "Any idea why?"
"Yeah, we think it's the same guy that came after the team that saved us because he's been trying to make a move on Xander." They shared a look. "You know that 'fuck this bitch' mode he goes into? He's beyond that."
"Shit," Don muttered. "I'm to know *before* anything happens."
Dean nodded. "If you're lucky. That one he had to fight off with explosives, same guy."
"Huh," Don said, looking at Frank. He had investigated that one. Frank took Dean to ask him questions about that. Ryan came jogging over. "No one's phone worked to get them to the present warehouse."
"Where's Xander?" Ryan asked.
Dean looked at him. "I dropped him with Steve for a few minutes. We also called to warn the guys at the farm, just in case."
They all nodded at that. "Poker debt?" Horatio said as he walked up to them.
"No, wannabe emperor of the world," Dean said. "Who used to be CIA."
"Interesting. What else do we know about him?"
"Not enough but we're looking. The team that helped save our asses yesterday got the supposedly killed treatment."
"I want to talk to them," Horatio said.
"They're at the mirror house."
"We can go back together."
"I have to pick up Xander at Steve's."
"That's fine." He walked over to the desk. "That is not pretty."
"No, and with the look on the remains of his face, it wasn't making him happy either," Ryan admitted, looking a bit green. "He said no one could be reached," he said quietly.
Horatio looked at his phone, sending out a test text. That went through to all but Danny's. but two were vastly delayed. He nodded, walking off calling someone. "It is Horatio Caine. I would like to speak to someone at Xander's very quickly," he ordered. "Because we apparently have a problem with some of his former masters as well, Fiona." He hung up and walked off. "Dean?"
"Coming." He looked at Ryan. "It was laying in front of the doorway. It was in my trunk on the tarp. I carried it up in this."
"Gloves and overshirt," he ordered, taking them. "That way we can make sure nothing transferred. Don, get that tarp and bag it for us please." He nodded, following them down there to do that. Horatio could bag it so it was proper. Ryan got Alexx to come get the ball of former person. She grimaced, staring at it. Ryan looked at her. "Someone left it for Xander."
"Yeah. At the present warehouse."
"That's not a present the boy would squeal over." She helped him get it onto a bag. The paper that had stuck to it she'd get free later. She hoped. "How did it get here?"
"No one's phone could get the call," Ryan told her. "Dean brought it in."
"Horatio is livid," Frank told her.
"I would be too!" She got the bag down to her morgue and started to work on peeling it apart and taking off the extra tar. This was one for the journals.
Horatio met with Fiona, handing her the information he had gotten off that very uptight and tense team. She grimaced at it. "It appears he wants Xander."
"He was behind that kidnaping attempt?"
Horatio nodded. "As we're learning. Xander is in high bitch mode as he put it."
"Oooh." She winced. "He's CIA, Caine."
"I heard. Since apparently he's now screwing with my people, I don't like it."
"He's taken down whole departments before."
"I doubt he can do it to my lab," he said dryly. "Everyone in the higher ups knows about us."
"Good point but he can and does use some Federal contacts."
"Some of them know as well."
"Good point. You know, Xander might just be able to beat him. Though I can't promise."
"Xander won't have to do it alone." She grinned. "Any help would be appreciated."
"I'll pass that around to the others down here. Have him talk to his poker buddies?"
"He has." He smirked and put back on his glasses. "They were not amused either. I heard rumors about betting going on."
"That's a bad sign."
"It's always a bad idea to bet against Xander." He strolled off. He had a call in to Fornell to see what had happened to their phone lines. Screwing with the department that way was a federal matter. And Fornell wasn't that happy either.
In DC, Gibbs got an unplanned and unpleasant visit. "What?" he demanded when the purple faced man stomped up to his desk.
"We have a spook with contacts trying for Xander by screwing with his department."
Tony printed off an email and handed it over. "What Xander knew as of this morning." He got back to work on his present case.
"When were you going to tell me?" Gibbs asked.
"Lunch. That's why we were going to have lunch with Abby in the lab, boss." He smirked. "That way we all knew."
Gibbs snatched it to read over, grimacing. "I've heard about him. He was behind a few good soldiers getting killed. We were ordered to hand over the case."
Fornell took them back, growling. "He's trying the lab right now."
"I'm sure Xander is going to kill him for us," Greg Sanders said with a grin. "Because he's been pissed off all day long. He's getting more and more pissed as time goes on. In the last hour he's went from your stage of livid to 'fuck this, I'll dance for them and then kill them' to 'fuck it, I'll just hormone them to death then sell them'."
"Does Caine know?" Gibbs demanded.
"That he's screwing with the lab," Fornell said. "That's who told me."
"That Xander's that pissed off.... I'm not sure," Greg admitted. "But we'll see." He texted that to Danny's phone. "Ah! They did get Danny's phone. It won't get texts." Fornell snatched it and went to have Abby trace where the attempted text message went. He knew she wasn't going to be involved. It had a legitimate Navy crime to back it up apparently.
"I want anything we have on this person," Gibbs ordered quietly.
"I've passed on that warning to Epps out in LA, boss, since he's worked with Xander in the past. Especially since some things run back there. We're talking international Don of the Universe wannabe."
"I can't see that guy as a mafia don," Greg said. "Now, wannabe emperor, that I can see. Xander said he wants power and things."
"Yeah but he wants it through weapons," Tony said.
"What's his name?" Ziva asked from her desk.
Tony smirked at her. "Max."
She stiffened. "You do not go against that one."
"He wants Xander. Who do you think is going to win?" Greg snorted. She blanched. "For obvious reasons we need to know, Ziva. Don't make me pull out the truth serum bottle?" She nodded, calling some contacts. If Xander was bothered, he'd come after their team because of Greg formerly being Xander's and Tony being under the family's protection. She got a lot of information to hand over. Gibbs photocopied it for Fornell's needs. Then he scanned it and sent it to Ryan Wolfe's email.
Ryan looked at his computer, nodding at something when it came in. He opened it and printed it all, handing it to Eric. "Right to H. On the guy that sent the tar ball and is playing with our phone system." Eric walked off reading it. Ryan read the email and forwarded it to the team that Xander was helping. They might not know all that.
Jesen looked at his computer when it beeped, opening up his email. "Someone in the Mossad sent Ryan Wolfe a lot of information."
"How did the kid get Mossad contacts?" Clay asked.
"She's at NCIS," he said with a grin. "There's a picture in the living room with Xander and his family and Greg Sanders, who is on Gibbs' team."
"So we have Gibbs on our backs too?" he demanded.
"No, the email said that Gibbs said they needed to know." He let him read it.
Clay read it over, nodding. "Some we didn't know." He forwarded it to Aisha's email as well. That one bounced. He called her. "We have new intel and are in Miami." He hung up. Even if it was being traced, they couldn't track them here. Xander had told them that.
Cougar took it to read over, handing it on to Pooch when he was done. Jensen took it back to print off. "So we have some new ideas," Pooch decided. They all nodded.
Xander turned when he heard a female voice behind him. "Hi, Aisha." He blew a kiss. "What are you doing in my city again?"
"I'm working with Clay to get Max."
"You still can't come to the house. You tried to hit on my man to make me forget your poker debt and I'll take your damn head off."
"I know." She grinned. "Are they all right?"
"Yeah. I've made them dinner every night." He smirked. "Behind you." She moved out of the way of the demon he was there to meet. "Thank you for meeting with me, Counselor."
"It's not a real problem, Xander. What's wrong? You said that there's a threat to us?"
"Someone trying to get into the Sophralle's vault. The same idiot wants me and I got warned he was trying."
"If he releases them we'll all be dead," he agreed. "And the earth too. Who?"
"His name is Max. He's a Caesar wannabe. Wanted my weapons too. Wants me for some reason."
"Oh, dear. I've heard of him."
Xander grinned. "And you do have all those nice ATF agents underneath you."
"I do," he agreed smugly. "Some IRS ones as well. You're sure?" Xander handed over the note he had been given. "That is very bad news, yes. You were right to bring this to our attention."
"If I have to defeat him I will. If I don't, I'll probably be happier but someone gave me a tar ball of former person today."
"That's not his usual style," Aisha admitted.
"It was his former henchtoad," Xander told her. "Who still owes me sixty large. He can pay me instead. I've already noted that." He smirked. "I'm not real stealthy all the time but if I'm drawing attention others can be." He grinned at the demon. "He's even pissed off Horatio."
"Shit," he muttered. "How?"
"Danny's phone suddenly doesn't work and we couldn't even get dispatch when we found the tar ball."
"Which means that Fornell knows and Gibbs knows and Epps knows."
"Oh, shit. The one who wants DiNozzo and Sanders will cause a mess."
"I'd worry about Gibbs before him," Xander pointed out.
"True." He patted Xander on the head. "Thank you for warning us. We will aid where we can, Xander."
"I'll take information for now and maybe some of your minions helping my diversion."
"Gladly." He left, going to warn the other counselors.
Xander smirked at Aisha. "A lot of his clan are ATF, FBI, and IRS."
"That's positively evil." She smirked. "Can I call them?"
"Yeah. I don't mind. They can't use my SUV right now but sure." She called and he walked off, going back to his SUV and home.
She stared at it. "That thing is huge," she said when they picked up. "I am in Miami. I just met with him. No, I once tried to get a contact of his through his boy Don. He's going to rip my head off so I can't show up at the house. Thanks." She hung up and went to find a friend in town so she could borrow their spare place. This was not a good thing but they were very close to getting him this time. This time, Max wasn't going to get away.
Xander saw the man watching him and coughed. Jensen looked and sneered. "That's him," he said, calling it in. Like they had heard. Max noticed him and he walked off.
Xander stared at him. "You're still pathetic," he called. "Very unworthy of anything I have." The man disappeared into the crowd. Xander smirked and pointed. The two demon dogs followed him silently. They had trackers on their collars so the team could find them. Xander went on to his regularly scheduled poker game. He ran into Epps there. "You good?"he asked in greeting.
"Thanks for the warning. He did come after Chuck." He sighed. "He got my whole team suspended."
"He did the same thing to Gibbs' team and tried to get Ziva deported." He smirked. "Someone's very unhappy. Especially since I called other contacts to tell them how unhappy I was being stalked by the weenie."
Don Epps smirked at him. "That's good to know. What're you doing today?"
"Poker game I can't bring you to because you'd be pissed you couldn't arrest people. Go to the farm, check on my horses for me?"
"I can do that," he decided. "Thanks, Xander."
"Welcome." He walked in, getting a smile from Fu. "He's going to check on the horses."
"I'm sure he is. We heard he's in town?"
"Yeah, I have something tracking him for me." He went to get dealt in. After a few hands he got bored and got that itchy feeling that meant that he should do something for Strife. He followed it back to his warehouse. He got into the secondary bay and came out with something huge, going to stop the idiot. He was holding a detonator switch in one hand and a gun in the other on Horatio.
So Xander kindly blew off the hand with the gun. And half his arm. Horatio stared at him. Xander dropped the case, smirking. "Pity." He walked closer, hormoning him. The man fell to his knees. "What makes you think you're worthy of me? I've had men of class, taste, and excellent breeding who weren't worthy of me. You, you're not even worthy to bleed on me." He kicked him under the chin, breaking it. "Pathetic. Totally pathetic."
"Xander, if he drops that, a large bomb will go off somewhere in the city," Horatio warned.
Xander took it and walked it over, handing it to him. He looked back but the guy had tried to stumble off. "Attack," he ordered. The dogs became visible and attacked, ripping him apart. "Really?" He looked at Horatio. "By the way, that was in the second bay. Someone gave it to me as a present." He smiled. He walked past the carnage, shaking his head. "Good puppies! Thank your master for me." They barked and headed home to get pets for being such good dogs.
"That is a disgusting mess," Horatio said. He called in he had the detonator switch so they could come get it and find the bomb finally. Alexx showed up at about the same time. "That was the person holding it."
"What happened to it?" one of the SWAT guys asked.
"Xander," Alexx said. "He wanted Xander."
"Oh, shit," one muttered. "Did he know about the bomb?"
"No. He knew he had to stop him. He's been working for a few days to stop him since he had heard." They shared a look. "He warned me first since that pile of being used to be CIA."
"No wonder, he was evil. Of course he wanted the kid," the head of the team muttered.
Horatio nodded. "Yes he was." He helped Alex gather up all the little pieces the dogs had flung around. That team's leader came up. "Clay."
"Horatio. Is that him?" Alexx pointed at the head. He looked then nodded. "That is Max. What happened?"
"Xander had two hellmutts," Don said as he walked up to them. "He bummed them off a demonic friend."
"I knew about them. They were tracking him for us," Clay agreed.
"He sicced them on him," Horatio said.
He nodded once. "That's a mess. I couldn't do that job." He walked off shuddering.
Don stopped him. "Talk to Pieter yet?" he asked quietly.
"I have. We're talking about that."
"It's not often but we do need it a lot and people we can trust. They lost a team last year when one of them decided he'd rather detonate a chemical bomb instead of give up the guy he stole."
"I heard." Don smiled let him go. "We'll talk about it."
"That's cool. You guys have done good making Xander fuss over someone other than us. Because I was getting fat from all the food." Clay walked off snickering. Don walked over to look at the mess. "Anything like a hotel room key?"
"You'd be involved, Sugar," she reminded him with a smile.
"Yeah, but the demons in the IRS want him now too."
Horatio shuddered. "That was evil of Xander."
"Definitely. What did he use?"
"Something he said he recently got as a present," Horatio said.
"I don't know artillery, Horatio."
"I know, and Dean and Sam are upstate on a hunt so they were safe. Get Clay's people to give us a new inventory please?"
"Sure." He called him. "Clay, bring Xander to his weapons storage areas and do an inventory for us please? He got given some new stuff as presents. Thanks." He hung up. "He said it was a small favor to ask."
"Thank you." He handed over the papers from his pocket. Don took them to look over. "Xander's spa," he said at the look.
"I'll check with them." He called over there to see what the guy had been in for, if he had left anything, and if he had talked to whoever.
Clay hung up and looked at the kid. "Don said to take you to your weapons place and do a new inventory?"
"Yeah, someone rented a new storage bay next to mine and loaded it with presents. Horatio keeps track of it for the ATF."
Clay gave him an odd look. "Why?"
"They're my babies. Like the ferrets are."
"Adopt, kid. That way you'd have someone to fuss over."
"Florida won't let me. Neither will Danny."
Clay called. "We're doing a weapons inventory for Don, people. Meet me there." He hung up and nodded. "C'mon and I'm driving."
"Fine." He handed over the keys. "I saw the coveting looks for my stretch Range Rover," he teased. "Tony and Greg have a more practical version."
"I'm not sure even a practical version of a stretch Range Rover is all that practical, kid."
"It's bulletproof, they have computer hookups in the back, it can carry the whole team, has some hidden cases in the back for gear and camping gear. They can camp in it if they need to. Dual tanks," he teased with a grin.
"It's still too big and noticeable." He got in and looked around. "There's a lot of switches."
Xander got into the passenger's side and shut the door. He flipped two. "Undercarriage and backing up cameras. Dual tanks in case I need to switch them out," he said with a point. "Locking and unlocking the trunk's in-carriage storage from here. We need to hit the house for the laptop since it has the official inventory on it."
"That's fine." He drove him back there. It was a comfortable troop carrier sized car. It was excessive and flashy, like the kid. "I'm surprised you got it in this color."
"They wouldn't let me get it like my former lavender regular one."
"That I'd almost expect," he decided. "It's attention getting like you are." The kid was like a walking, talking gay pride parade.
"Yeah," he agreed with a grin. "Plus if the poker buddies try to piss me off by shooting me again it's bulletproof."
"Even better." He pulled in and the others came out to pile into the back.
"Hey, a playstation," Jensen called.
Xander put down the window between them, grinning back at him. "I get bored sometimes. It's great on road trips. Dean, Sam, and I have spent a lot of time back there."
"It's comfortable even though the seats are a bit fuzzy," Pooch said. "My son would love to play back here. He'd think the seats were pets." Xander grinned and gave Clay directions. The gate guard on the storage place waved. Xander waved back with a smile. He got them out and into the secondary storage area. "Mine's next door but I need to make sure it's all there. I didn't get to that the other day."
"We can do that after this one," Clay said, looking around. "This... is a lot."
Xander looked and shrugged. "I have prettier probably."
"Cougar, help him do an inventory of his area. We'll do this side."
He got Xander into his and whistled. "Maldición (Damn)." Clay came over to look and whimpered.
Xander grinned. "Pieter sometimes has to borrow."
"Caine knows about this, right?" Clay asked.
"Yeah. He has oversight." He smirked.
"Uh-huh." They got back to their appointed tasks. He sent Pooch to see if there were more that might belong to Xander as presents. They got pointed at two more recently rented ones that were written down as being presents to him. "Jesus," he said, looking at all the jewels. "I feel like the dragon."
Jensen giggled. "Hubert is a cute thing." He looked around. "No weapons."
"No, not any weapons," Pooch said, swallowing. "Why do they want him?"
"Hormones," Clay said. "If Jensen suddenly breaks out in some I'm killing him for it."
"Hey! Why me?" he complained.
"You're worse at finding trouble," Clay assured him. "I couldn't even date someone who'd do this."
"We can't bring Aisha here?" Jensen teased with an evil smirk.
"Hell no, she might try to shoplift." They got back to the other ones. There were too many weapons in here for the military, much less Xander's demented collecting habits. He called Horatio when they were done with the other area, sending Jensen and Pooch to help Cougar since he was still in there. It had to be bad. Horatio showed up with Gibbs and Don Epps. "Presents?" he asked.
"Some do admire him greatly," Epps said dryly. "We captured a shipment through LA of someone wanting Xander, that was their courting/pay attention to me present." He looked around, shaking his head. "Doesn't he have a limit, Caine? What he pulled out for the invasion was bad enough."
"I try to take anything current military back," Gibbs admitted. Clay pointed at the stack they had pulled out. "Thanks."
"Welcome. A few are experimental. I've only heard rumors. One had the research notes and the plans."
"Wonderful," Gibbs said dryly. He went to check in the other one. "Caine, he's had to do an expansion charm," he called.
"Xander!" Xander came bouncing out. "Do we really need all this?"
"No," he said sheepishly.
"Then we'll cut this one down to a quarter and weed out that side to what's most useful, right?" he pressed.
Xander pouted. "That'll take out the babies I've had since Sunnydale."
"Those you can keep," he sighed. Xander hugged him and bounced off. "Help him sort. Then we'll have them carted off." Clay nodded, letting them have that area.
"I'll help run the dispo run," Don offered.
"Please," Horatio said quietly. He called Calleigh. "Xander got sent more presents. Yes, you can tell Mac and them to help. About double what he had what he had during the last full inventory. Yes, we're weeding it out now and some of it will belong to Gibbs. Thank you. Yes, there." He hung up and called Mac. "He got more presents in the artillery class." He hung up and put his phone back. "Don will not be pleased," he muttered, cracking Epps up. "We spanked him for it when we first found out he was hoarding weapons."
"Clearly it's a Sunnydale thing," Epps agreed.
Clay walked out looking pissed. "Who is Jace and why is she holding some of his weapons on an island?"
"Jace runs a very nice resort that is a safe area for Xander and others," Horatio said. "She runs one in Las Vegas that is very quiet and nice on holy ground and she bought the island a former attempted paramour owned and left to Xander, along with his very realistic looking robots and cloning facility. That way he wouldn't be without Xander." Clay moaned, shaking his head. "She's using it as a secondary resort."
"Some of the robots were so real no one realized the people had been replaced," Don told him. "They found twelve in the Pentagon spying for their maker. My brother's a math geek and he got to look over one. He said it's fantastic."
Horatio coughed. "They are also programmed to take care of surges. During testing of one to look at those issues, it chased Greg Sanders around the base with a dildo on its hand ordering him to drop his pants so it could help him and that he was fully trained for pleasuring him."
Don looked at him. "The one in Baltimore from the convention?"
"Yes, she did get a few of them for a security force since she's no longer comfortable around people."
Don nodded then shook his head quickly. "I almost turned on the one at Cal Sci to protect my brother from people snatching him." He looked over as sirens approached. "Sounds like we're getting help."
"That is SWAT, but the new people." Horatio called the boss, who hurried down. His new people were going to over-react. "We're sorting out what we have right now."
"Are we keeping some for Miami's needs?" the team leader asked.
"They're Xander's," he said bluntly.
He grimaced. "Why does he need artillery, Lieutenant?"
"Because now and then we have to borrow." The head of SWAT appeared in a flash of light. "That's interesting."
"The demon that invaded my office sent me immediately because he didn't want you to steal all of his presents to the kid."
Horatio let him look. "I think we'll be taking some since they're current issue and things."
"I'd say," he said dryly. He looked in the other one and whimpered. "Harris!"
"What?" he whined. "We're sorting, Captain."
"Dear Lord," he muttered, coming in to help. "Who're you guys?"
"Military," Clay said.
"They helped rescue Dean and Sam during a mission," Xander said with a grin. "They're helping me with the inventory."
"Uh-huh." He nodded. "Good! You can have half."
"Horatio said I can have my babies from Sunnydale."
"Fine," he muttered. "I know we'll get a fight about those since you needed them for apocalypses out there or someone would steal them back for you again. The rest?"
"We're weeding it down to things that can only destroy a building," Jensen quipped.
"Please," he agreed. "Why do you have a missile system?"
"I won it."
The Captain glared. "Horatio, he won a compact missile system in a poker game."
"No poker for a week, Xander." He walked in. "Make them pay you in that week or turn them in." Xander muttered but called Fu to tell him that. He took it to talk to Fu. "It's Horatio," he said smoothly. "Someone paid Xander in a compact, jeep mounted missile system, Fu." He smirked at Xander. "Yes, that's not allowed. Cash only please. Thank you. No, he's grounded for a week. They have to pay him what they owe him or I will make him turn them over to his boys. Yes, I'm punishing them for breaking the rules we set and him for not telling us sooner. Thank you." He hung up and glared at Xander over the top of his sunglasses, getting a sheepish look. "When were you going to tell me?"
"I only got them the other day. I was due to do the inventory next week. I figured you'd find out then."
"Uh-huh. For that, you, Tony, and Greg can do one of the present warehouse as well. Including the two new ones here."
"One's full of gemstones," Clay offered.
"That does not surprise me any." He stared at Xander, who slumped but nodded, going back to his sorting. He and the captain shared a look then he looked at Clay. "Are you local for a week?"
"He could probably use the help and I know you'll tell me if you find more artillery. That way he can't form an emotional attachment to it."
"Sure, we can guard the kid and his friends."
"Thank you." He walked off with the captain, who ordered SWAT on how to take what and what Gibbs was getting.
"That means I need to grocery shop on the way home," Xander sighed. "We'll have a full dinner."
"We're cooking out," Gibbs called. "Tony's already shopped for you." Xander grinned. "You can have him tomorrow. He's in your media room." He went back to his sorting. "Are we picking up his bounty from Fu's storage area?"
"Yes. He said he'd have it gathered for us."
"I want to look at this new document system Sanders noted," he said quietly.
"Me too," Epps said.
"That's at the house right now. Fu told me he took it back to help that nice team." They both smirked and nodded at that. It was a very Xander thing to do. The new SWAT guys weren't that happy with leaving some here but their boss would tell them why. By that night they understood all too well. Calleigh and Mac's ballistics tech, plus Mac, all got to get happy with the weapons petting. Don helped with the dispo run so it wasn't touched. Xander pouted some but his special ones got kept. They all piled back at the house later to have a cookout, eat, talk, and talk the guys into maybe staying in Miami as the local retrieval squad.
Pieter arrived in Miami looking tired, even when Xander pounced him with a squeal in the airport. "Thanks, Xander." He let him drive him to the house and stuff him full. The others were waiting but Xander needed to spoil. "Grounded again?" he asked dryly.
"Yes. Someone paid me in artillery," he complained.
"Horatio is a bit picky about that." He finished up and went to find the team Xander was helping. "Guys." They smirked at him. "Sorry, long flight back from Asia. My team is taking the others home. We found all but one."
"He's with someone demonic and they're giving him back or else," Xander called from the kitchen.
"We adore him for that," Pieter told them, earning a grin from Pooch. "So, we need to talk, huh?" He settled in, putting up the footrest on the chair. "Soshar started regional retrieval teams in addition to the main ones. Miami could use one for Xander's safety if nothing else. DC has all the agents so anyone who steals DiNozzo again is in trouble. Paris could use their own but they're being resistant and so could London but they're confused.
"MI-5 is really tired of running into us on missions but they don't realize how to fix it." He sipped his coffee. "If you guys wanted to hire on, we have six openings for teams. New York could use a second team, Miami's team, or the main teams." He took another drink. "I'm sure you've subtly met all the local GHS by now down here."
"No, just the family," Xander called.
"There's six others," he told them. They all smirked. "New York really needs two teams because they have 24 the last I knew." Clay moaned, shaking his head. "The highest right now is a level nine who's nineteen. She's good and in with the Council people Xander used to run with but the others aren't that lucky.
"Texas, as a state, hired a retrieval team out of former state and local cops who've dealt with them and put a former agent over them. They all know, went around to each and every member to make sure they were safe, knew who they were, knew their numbers, all that. They found a few missing that should've been home and got to save them during their set up." He took another drink.
"LA has ten and Epps is rabid over their safety, which we like. When the main government agencies found out they weren't happy and assigned certain agents in each gathering area to help. Epps stepped in, brought his whole team, brought in a sniper he knew he could trust to help. Edgerton is really not happy whenever we pull him off a fugitive retrieval for one of ours. We could definitely use the skill mix." He finished his coffee and put the cup aside. "I will warn you that sometimes the people who want them have figured out that the retrieval teams would be coming and do react. We lost one to a bomb recently when one didn't want to give theirs back."
"Did they try to negotiate?" Clay asked.
"No. They were sneaking in and he caught them. He decided he wasn't going to give them up, no matter what. He was highly fixated. He set off his apocalypse system and blew up his compound with everyone but his infant son in it. He sent him out of the way." Pooch shuddered. "Most of them we can sneak in, take back, maybe injure or shoot the people who have them. Most of them are very high profile so we end up shooting at the guards instead of them. The team from Texas prefers gas attacks and then going in."
"So quiet freeing of hostages basically," Pooch said.
"Yes, but the teams are allowed to loot to their heart's content if they see something. Or if the GHS is wearing jewelry, they can take it with them."
"Don got sent to do that for Dean and Sam when we saved them," Clay admitted.
"Xander gets downright vindictive for his," Pieter said with a grin.
"Damn right. You take my ass you pay for it. Usually by spilling your guts and then I take whatever else you held dear."
"Xander, go do katas since you won't affect the guys," Pieter called. He smirked, shaking his head. They waited until Xander ran up to get his sword then out back. "We love Xander. Since he started to take himself back by being as mean as possible, kidnapings have fallen by twenty percent. Among his family they've fallen by about two thousand percent. He's considered too hard and so is the rest of the family. Someone in China compared Wolfe to an ancient war god when he had to get Danny back for them. They took the wrong boyfriend."
"Xander's been approached about twenty times since we got into town," Clay said. "Half of those weren't people but still."
"Yeah, we know. The demons only take the GHS that know already. Having their new pets freak out and die from it doesn't really work in their favor. Since Xander, Dean, and Sam used to hunt them, they're seen as higher status pets for them. With Xander's level and hormones always being backed up, he's very good about his own personal defense a lot of the time for a reason."
"I can see why," Jensen agreed. "The poker circuit is rabid though."
"Which helps more than you know. If Xander wanted to start making subtle orders of things, he might rival that guy that got taken out. Fortunately he only offers suggestions when asked. I don't think they told him that he's like a quiet Don of the underground around here. Things have seriously calmed down since he started to play poker again."
"No one has any money to do anything," Pooch snorted. "He won a few mil last week and called it gas money."
"He does, for his SUV," Pieter agreed with a grin. "Xander's just like that, guys. Wait until you have to escort him somewhere like shopping. His boys work too many hours."
"We've noticed that he's backed up," Clay said dryly.
"Most level nines and tens have a stay-at-home spouse. At least one. It was easier when Sanders was here instead of dating DiNozzo but that solved all the problems Gibbs had in DC. He only found out after meeting Xander. He's a good example of 'don't let yourself get this bad'."
"Agent Edgerton said he doesn't want to see me on one of his missions ever again," Xander called.
Pieter shook his head because that meant something had happened. "Did someone take you again?" he called.
"Just now?" he called.
"Why was Ian on a demon plane?"
"Someone took him so they could ask him to shoot his ex-wife to get her away from their kid."
"Is he still there?"
"No, I got her for him and made her flee." Ian walked out with the coffee pot and a sigh. Xander bounced out with a tray of stuff. "I got fluffy, sweet stuff." He put it down with a grin.
"We're going to get fat, kid," Clay complained. Xander pouted and he groaned, looking away. "Fine, but no more spoiling that much." Xander shrugged and went back outside. Jensen got his pastry and handed them down the row. "Hi," Clay told Ian. "You knew about all this?"
"Yup." He sat down and put his feet up. "I got introduced to it the same way Epps did and got to follow Xander around the last New York convention." He ate his own pastry. "Any idea where Epps is, Pieter? I couldn't get hold of him when we got back."
"With Caine having a short conference of the crossover links between the two cities."
"Max got them suspended. Same with Gibbs."
Ian's pastry paused on the way to his mouth. "Are we doing something about him finally?"
"Xander and Horatio did," Clay said. "Xander had two demon dogs rip him apart."
"Good!" He finished that last bite, shaking his head. "Let me guess, he wanted Xander too?" They all nodded. "Figures." He sipped his coffee. "Is Xander grounded again?"
"Yup," Pieter said with a grin. "Someone paid their poker debt in artillery and he didn't immediately tell Horatio."
"Charming. How is his arsenal now?"
"Too big for everyone's good," Pooch said. He took another pastry. "What if we move down here, Pieter? I've got a wife and a son. Jensen has a sister and a niece."
"Xander will spoil you guys rotten by helping you find places to live, decorate, shop for food, help the kids find good schools, introduce you to most of the contacts he has that you might need, and probably teach you guys how to ride," Ian said. "He has everyone else he adopted into the family."
"He can plan some things," Clay admitted. "But all that?"
"Yeah. He does all the time to help other members and people in his other special group."
"Huh. We'd like to not be too spoiled. I'm starting to feel like something he adopted."
"He does love his pets," Ian joked with a smirk. "But unless you're being played with all the time, you're not." He looked around. "Where are the dogs?"
"One of those other group poisoned them to show how easy it was to get close to the family," Pieter said quietly. "He nearly lost it and the guy became smaller than bait chunks. It took Taylor over an hour to clean up the mess in the yard. He got the ferrets but they managed to survive it. They found the dogs dead in here."
"Damn," Ian muttered. "At least he paid."
"Oh, he did. Xander lost his temper on him."
"What other group?" Clay asked.
"Um, there's a self-healing gift that some people within and outside of GHS have," Pieter said. Clay glared. "They're basically immortal unless they lose their heads. Xander, Danny, Don, Adam, Ray, Dean, Sam, Ryan all have it."
"How do you know if you have that gift?" Pooch asked.
"You're an orphan and it's natural to you after your first death," Ian told him. "We didn't find out much information on them. There's a few thousand of them in the world. They don't get together all that often and some do want to thin down the herd. They all fight with swords, which is why Xander learned that sword style that makes you want to screw him into a tree." He finished his coffee and got more. "Do we think there's maybe a brainiac version of GHS? For those in the sciences that think knowledge and math is their beauty and pleasure?"
"Yes. It has been theorized that there's a mental version whereas guys like Xander are the physical version. Why?"
"Epps' brother. He knows about GHS. Don thinks he's a lower level but his tests come out inconclusive. Other geeks do the same thing though. Sanders actually fluctuates."
"Definitely and I've thought Professor Epps was for a while. I'll see if Greg can figure that out."
"Please. If so we need to make special security precautions for him as well. More than the usual ones we already have."
"Don is a fantastically overprotective big brother," Pieter agreed with a grin. "He and Dean bonded over that state."
"Dean had to be. Things really wanted to take Sam."
"Everything still wants Sam and Xander," Pieter reminded him.
"Which is why I want them to stay on this coast and I'll travel where I'm needed," Ian assured him. Xander came out to pout at him. "What?" he demanded.
"Charlie said I have to send you back today because he knows something about your case."
"So why are you pouting at me about that?"
"I was kinda hoping you'd go with me to meet the new poker buddy that needs to pay up?" he asked sheepishly.
"He's a sniper too," Ian said with a point at Cougar.
"Yeah but you're scary."
"Good point," he agreed with a smirk.
"He think you're a fluffy, sweet gay boy?" Jensen asked.
"Yup. He's only played with me once. Of course he lost majorly but he thinks I'm cute and sweet and not any sort of threat. The other guys tried to tell him but oh well." He shrugged. "I'd bring Adam because he's bored but he's got to field dress an injury for someone later."
"He's a doc?" Clay asked.
"Um, longer story there," Xander admitted. "Though I'm a pretty decent field medic for lesser things." Clay smirked at that. "I learned on patrol." He grinned at Ian. "Then I'll send you home?"
"Take them. They'll scare the idiot."
"I don't need that much scaring. They might not let him play again and he's a nice hacker." They all stared at him. "The circle doesn't have that many hackers."
"Do they know you plan things like that?" Clay asked dryly with a smirk.
"No one ever asks my opinion about anything but they're handy people to know. Especially since I'm going back to the Bazaar in a few days. We're out of speciality ammo. The only guy I know is there."
"First, you have to take someone when you go," Pieter reminded him. "Those are Ryan's rules that Caine agreed with. Secondly, which specialty guy? A bunch of them got busted in the Middle East by Interpol. Thirdly, hell no you're not going to the Bazaar without a lot of backup."
"DuChamps. And yeah, I heard he got arrested; he made bail and is back there in the bar."
Pieter stared at him. "What does he make you that you can't get any other way?"
"The new sodium flare rounds."
"I can...." Ian said.
"No. You can't." Xander grinned and went to get one. He came back with it, holding it up. "These?"
Ian took it to look at then at him. "That's really for the Dean and Sam areas, right?"
"Well, yeah. I need them sometimes too. We can't find them here and I don't really want to take a trip anywhere less safe to find them. It's safer for me there than anywhere else."
"True," Ian decided. He tossed it to Clay. "Very handy, low flare flash. I love those things for things that need to burn. I used them on a bear a few months back when I got attacked. I couldn't figure out non-hunting uses for it though."
Xander grinned. "I thought you might like the new ones. I loved those things. Horatio used them to scare the shit out of some drug dealers. Mac bugged me for weeks to test them too."
"I'm not surprised." He heard a car and looked outside. "Who's that?"
He looked. "Mac, Stella, and Don Epps." They walked in the back door. "Hi, guys."
Don nodded, getting some of the coffee for himself. "Ian, Charlie said he has a good idea where your suspect is hiding in that national forest. He didn't think Xander would let you go too soon."
"He wants me to help him scare the new poker buddy." He got some more coffee. "I know he's in the north woods."
"He moved his lair or that's a backup lair."
Ian called him. "Professor?" He listened. "When did he do that? No, I was still there until last night. Ah, the demon scared him. Is he alive?"
"They don't eat people," Xander told him. He looked then sighed and magically searched where Ian's jeep was. He found a few people. "Is he the black guy with the gun or the other one?"
"The other one. The black guy's a rookie in fugitive retrieval," Ian said dryly. Xander summoned the guy, looking at him. Ian smirked. "Thanks, Xander." He got up to arrest him with Don's help.
"Welcome, Ian. So can we go?"
"Do I need to know this hacker?" Clay asked.
"Well, he's NSA," Xander offered. "He's seriously not figuring that I'm able to do things. He thinks I'm the concubine kitty they all think I am." He smirked. "You'd scare him."
"Pooch, go with him."
"Fine. But I'm driving."
"That's fine, I'm used to it when I'm backed up." He kissed Stella on the cheek. "The office and the basement." He winked at Mac before bouncing off.
Pooch good up with a groan and followed. "Why are we taking the SUV of doom?" he asked from the kitchen when he spotted the keys.
"Because it's bulletproof and I don't know what sort of idiot he is yet, plus I'm stopping at the ice cream place on the way back." He grinned.
"New poker buddy?" Mac called.
"How much does this one owe you?" Mac walked into the kitchen.
"About twelve grand."
"What does this one do?"
"Jennings?" he asked. Xander beamed and nodded. "Take the SUV. He might shoot you."
"He thinks I'm a fluffy person and unable to hurt anyone."
"Take the sword and a few guns too then," he ordered. He looked at Pooch. "The last one who thought that of him, we ended up arresting after the fire fight. Because he tried to shoot Xander instead of paying him. Xander shot back. Xander wisely moved out of range and the guy tried to follow him to the bad end of town, where he has some contacts. It ended up involving six gangs who were fighting already and a bunch of others." He smirked. "Though it was very nice that the gang kids said they only came out to protect Xander."
"Who was that stupid?" he asked.
"He's CIA," Ian called. "A big damn idiot Professor Epps can't even make a scale for."
"Did they let him out?" Xander called.
"Yes, and told him if he ever came back to Miami for any reason he was going to be given to you as a sex toy." Ian leaned back to smirk at him. "That's apparently a worse fate in the CIA than being shot and killed."
Xander shrugged. "I'm better than that. I'd turn him so fast it's not funny." He smirked.
"Just don't do it to me, Xander. My wife would mind." Pooch shook his head. His wife would beat him if he suddenly turned gay on her.
"Okay." He smirked. "I'd never pounce without permission unless it's a desperate situation and it'd save all our lives."
"Good to know." He took the keys and walked out there to check over the SUV. Clay had him do it already but he wanted to check the gas levels. The thing guzzled gas. "No unscheduled stops."
Xander snorted, sliding into the back. "The ice cream shop is already a stop Don agreed to. Either that or I'm going later by myself."
"Fat chance." He started th engine and backed out. He checked on the kid, who was smirking. "Clay won't let you."
"I'm not sleeping with Clay, he can't be that possessive of me until I am."
Pooch snickered, shaking his head. He turned around and drove off. It was definitely a different sort of personality than he was used to. Xander was ...bouncy and loud and flashy. Even Jensen wasn't that goofy sometimes. Xander gave him directions and he shook his head. "The docks?"
"Yeah. By the usual poker game." He grinned. "They're used to us."
"They know we pay off poker debts. I handed the last idiot that complained back to the boss, who agreed it was safer if we paid poker debts there." He slid out once they stopped. Pooch parked and got out.
"You needed backup?" the hacker asked with an evil smirk.
"No, I needed a leash holder in case I decided to destroy you," Xander said with a grin. "Like the guys warned you." He saw the rookie agent and rolled his eyes. "Yes, it's a poker discussion," he called. "Go home to mommy." The guy huffed off. "I had to drag him to the office last time," he said quietly.
"I wondered why you wanted this out here."
"Because Port Authority would rather we do this than have an incident that included a dumped body and the rest of the city's cops are a lot meaner about these things. The guy who heads Port Authority down here actually is part of the circle. He only plays in this game though."
"Oh. That's interesting." He handed over the envelope. "Eleven-five-ninety." Xander grinned, putting it into his back pocket. "Now, what the hell are you?"
"Special." He blasted him with the hormones. "See?"
"Oh, god, you're that GHS," he moaned.
Xander smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I am."
"If I asked, could you dance for someone I know? Someone would *really* like a tape of it to use."
"No," Pooch said. "Not happening."
"Beyond that, there's teaching tapes out there in the society."
"I'll ask the head guy then." He looked at Xander. "Why do you like weapons?"
"Because I'm from Sunnydale." The man blanched and moved backward. "Yeah, I'm that same Xander too. But welcome to the circle. I'm not usually this mean. Just the first time to make sure no one screws with me."
"I understand fully, Mr. Harris." He smiled. "I look forward to winning some of that back."
Xander gave him a flirty look. "If you're lucky."
"True. I've heard not many are. Do you know where the National Head is?"
"He's doing the female Strager's leg today."
"Cool. I know where that is. Are you playing today?"
"No, I'm going to the ice cream shop to blow this on fantastic ice cream."
"I know enough about GHS to realize how normal that is," he decided. He looked at Pooch. "Special Forces?"
"Something like that," he admitted dryly.
"Good. He probably needs it."
"Not in Miami," Xander quipped.
"I heard. Go do GHS things, Mr. Harris."
"Xander then." He shook his hand and watched them walk off. "The boss was right, he is very dynamic." He went to the poker game to talk to the others who had warned him about Xander. He hadn't listened. Now he knew he was stupid. They made him take a shower and change clothes before he could play. He stunk with the pheromones and it wasn't fair to the other guys who'd want to pounce him.
Xander slid into the front with a grin. "Ice cream shop is on eighth or we can hit the airport in about an hour."
"Airport?" he asked casually.
"Yeah. Someone's coming in. We need to pick them up."
"Did we know about this before hand?"
"No but Don's mom is really good at surprising him."
"Fine." He started the SUV and drove off. "Airport then ice cream shop so nothing melts. That stuff isn't meant to get freezer burn. Jensen will sulk."
"Cool." They drove out to the airport and Xander got out to go get the people.
Pooch turned on the radio and waited. Even Xander couldn't have problems in there. Miami International Airport had some pretty decent guards who would stop anyone who tried to kidnap Xander to an overseas location. When he came out, the woman behind him wasn't old enough or white enough to be Don Flack's mother. He got out and ran over, hugging her and the baby. "Oh, my God," he whispered. "How?" he asked Xander.
"I have people I consider family. I'd miss them." He shrugged. "I'd have gotten Jensen's sister but she wouldn't answer the phone for an unfamiliar number."
"We taught her that, yeah." He got his wife and child into the back. "You get comfy. There's seatbelts." She nodded, hitching down the safety seat. Xander got into the front. Pooch grinned at him. "Thanks."
"Shouldn't you be back there?"
"I drive all the damn time, Pooch. Get back there with your woman." He put up the window between the front and back then gave him a pointed look. Pooch got into the back to cuddle his wife. Xander drove them off, to the ice cream store. He stopped at the grocery store too. That way Pooch had some extra time. Those seat covers pulled off to be washed.
Clay hopped up when he heard the SUV. "Where the hell were you?" he demanded as he walked outside. He paused when he saw Pooch getting out of the back with the baby. "How in the hell?"
"He arranged it," Pooch said.
Xander got out and closed the door. "Help me carry the ice cream or eat fast food for dinner," he yelled. Cougar and Jensen came out to help him carry. "Thanks, guys." He grinned.
Clay watched, shaking his head. "We're spoiled now," he told Pooch and his wife.
She patted him on the cheek. "Hell yes you are." She walked inside. "Xander, can I help?"
"Nope. My kitchen." He smirked. "Go play." He pointed at the doorway. "The mirror house you guys are using." She nodded, going to check it out.
Pooch carried his son into the living room and sat down, looking at the cooing going on. "What are you cooing at?"
"The ferrets," Clay said. "The cages are big, bright things he can see." He looked at the kid. "Hey, brat. Any other shocks?"
"He said Jensen's sister didn't answer the phone."
He went to tell Jensen that, making him walk off to call her instead of watching Xander magically lift things up to the higher shelves. "I want that skill," Clay said. "It would be very handy."
"I can see if you have it, teach you the opening meditative lessons," Xander offered.
"Not my thing unfortunately." He stared at the kid. "You did not have to spoil us this far."
Xander stared at him. "Take my fun at spoiling people and I'm going to make you take my pretty ass shopping all over Miami." He smiled sweetly. "I can spend *millions* doing that for *hours* on end." Clay shuddered. Xander smirked. "Leave my spoiling time alone."
"Fine. You need to spoil." He walked off shaking his head but he was smiling. Maybe Xander was more volatile than his past dates. He didn't understand gay men. He sat down, watching the baby. "He's happy."
"He's very happy. He missed his daddy."
"I'm sure he did." He looked at Pooch's wife. "Did you call Jensen's sister?"
"Yup." She smirked.
"Did Jensen know?"
"Yup." She beamed at him.
"Figures." He looked at the baby again. "So, we need a team vote."
"We already talked, and wherever's good for us," Pooch said.
"New York, here, roving?" Clay asked.
"Here, that way I can pick up chicks," Jensen called.
Cougar shook his head. "Él espera (He hopes)."
"At the very least he can pay for some," Clay pointed out.
"There's always spring break with all the drunken college girls," Pooch agreed. His wife swatted him so he kissed her. "He would."
"I know he would. So would you before we married."
"Well, yeah but you civilized me," he teased.
"Jolene, we have separate bedrooms," Clay offered.
"I'll take him up on that offer later."
"Wow, Xander, I didn't know anyone could do that," Jensen said. He walked out blushing. "Don's home for lunch."
"Kitchen sex?" Clay guessed.
"Nope. Groping definitely." He sat down and smiled at the baby. "If my niece was out of school today you'd be squealed at some more, little guy."
"Here, New York, or roving?" Clay asked.
"Here?" The others all shrugged. "Anything's good and she can move down here. The schools are better up there but there's some private ones we can afford."
Clay looked at the others, who shrugged. "Fine. We still might have to go on retrievals out of the country."
"I'm sure you will," she agreed. "And we'll be here."
Xander walked out and handed over his laptop.
"We can use mine," Jensen said.
"Yours is presently showing some sort of poisonous symbol that looks a lot like Cyma got you."
He hopped up to go check. "Mother fucker, I'm going to shoot him this time," he complained.
"When you find him, remind him he owes me a good mil and half," Xander called. "And that Horatio said to pay me this week or else I have to turn him in."
"Where is he?"
"Presently in London I think. But I'm not real certain." He went back to the kitchen. "Mrs. Pooch, is there anything you won't eat and should I use the food processor to mush up some vegetables for him?"
"He's still being bottle fed, Xander, and I'm good. We can eat later."
"Don't take my spoiling time."
"Fine. I could use something to drink." He smiled as he brought out tea glasses. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He smiled and went to the bedroom. "I've got to clean out their closets," he complained.
"Do yours so you can donate the stuff you never use," Don ordered.
Xander pounced him and made him a happy detective who was off for the rest of the day. He knew he was there to distract him and he was one of the best ones he had.
Jensen walked his computers back to the living room shaking his head. "Don's distracting him."
"That's something that distracts me most of the time too," Clay quipped. "Get him yet?"
"Yes. He is in London. He's also sorry and I did remind him of that poker debt." He looked at Pooch. "Did he blow the whole amount on ice cream and stuff for dinner?"
"I don't see how anyone can blow eleven and a half thou that way but you never know."
"The kid needs more to do," Clay said dryly.
"Yes he does," Jensen agreed, smiling some. "But I'm going to be taking sword lessons from him for a while." Cougar nodded he was too. "So we'll see."
"Why?" Clay asked.
"Long story," Jensen muttered.
"Did you finally get a woman and she's making you?" he asked.
"No." He smirked. "I'll tell you some day." He went back to his hacking. "Ah, there we are. Bastard."
"The baby is in the room," she reminded him.
"Sorry, little Pooch. I won't teach you to swear."
Jolene snorted. "You'd better not. I can spank you too." Pooch grinned at her. "What else are we doing today?"
"Apparently finding places to squat."
Jensen picked up Xander's laptop to look that up on. "Got a budget figure?"
"Under three grand a year?"
"In Miami?" he snorted. He found what he wanted and handed it over. "Specialized, small building. Seventeen apartments. Just being finished next month. Computer wired, fully wired for sound, nice enough kitchens, fireplaces for Pooch's working on a second child, and so Cougar can change his usual style. Some views, a rooftop garden, a gym in the building. Close to the lab in case we need them. Within three blocks of the weapons storage area in case we need that."
Clay looked at it, nodding. "Not bad. Expensive."
"Half the cost of something equal."
Pooch took it to look over. "Nice layout. A few two bedrooms for the kid. Not too expensive. Much nicer than usual in Miami."
"Too fancy," Clay said.
Xander came out to look at him. "Half the GHS in the city live within six blocks of there. I own the place."
"You own it?" Don asked, following him out.
"Yeah. It's one of the things that Steve had me invest in. I own the property company." He shrugged. "Steve said there's eight that aren't rented yet. One is a two bedroom. There's seven others that're on the top three floors and one beside the gym."
"How many other things do you own?" Clay asked.
Xander shrugged. "Ask Steve, I usually have to. That's why I have Steve."
"Okay," Clay said. "Anything less fancy?"
"I don't know. I'd have to ask Steve."
"Why don't we ask Steve," Clay decided. Xander grinned and nodded. "Go play with your husband."
Don nodded quickly. "We still have to do the quarterly donation of the closet stuff, Xander."
"Fine." He walked that way. He came back to coo at the baby. "You're so cute."
"Some day," Don ordered. "And don't take out the ferrets to play with him either. He's too young." He walked Xander off.
Jolene waited until the door closed then looked at Clay. "He seriously needs things to do," she said quietly.
"Yeah. He's spoiled us horribly." He saw a car. "Dean and Sam are back," he called.
"Yay!" He bounced out to talk to them.
Don groaned. "Xander, closet!" he called. "So we can donate before their big clothing drive."
"Coming," Dean called, walking him and Xander back in there. Sam followed chatting with Xander. "Dude, so backed up," he complained. "We smelled it at the gates."
Xander shrugged. "No one's had the energy for sex."
"I'm going to paddle you," Don assured him. He pointed at the closet. Xander pouted but went to clean it out. Sam helped. Don looked at Dean. "You guys good?"
"We're good. It's gone. Found a ghost on the way back and she's gone." He shrugged. "Situation normal."
"Good. Go help the new students spar."
"Got it." He went to do that, finding Cougar stiff and Jensen trying not to look at him. "C'mon, let's go spar. It'll wear Xander out in a bit when he and Sammy work out."
"Go for it," Clay ordered. They went to do that. He shook his head. "I don't get why swords." He stiffened. "Never mind. Son of a bitch, Jensen," he called, following them. "What we heard earlier," he said bluntly, staring him down. Jensen nodded slightly. "When?"
"Last year," he said quietly.
"You're supposed to tell me this shit!"
"Yes, you're going to be." He looked at Cougar, who shrugged. "Well?" He nodded. "Damn it."
"They never got taught what they need to know," Dean told him. "Xander trained us in it." Clay stared at him. He nodded. "This is what we do. We're some of the best trained among us."
"At least we're not GHS too," Jensen offered.
"I'd have to shoot you for that," Clay agreed.
"Some of us are perfectly normal. We wear those things out," Dean said bluntly. "Xander can't. He's got too much and his boys work. A lot. So do his backup protectors and love slaves. If he was wearing it out, he's a lot less bouncy and spoiling, and a lot more like me and Sammy are because he used to hunt demons too. They handled apocalypses."
Clay shuddered. "I don't want to know about that stuff."
"That's fine. We still have to train these two. Otherwise head hunters will get them within a few years."
"Fine. Make them the best they can be."
"Of course." Dean gave him a dirty look. "Not like I plan on leaving anyone half trained."
"Thanks." He walked inside. Pooch was scowling. "Yeah."
"Jensen said at least he's not GHS too."
"Then I'd have to shoot his ass."
"Then they can train," he agreed. Clay nodded, sitting down again. Xander came out with an armful of t-shirts, dropping them in front of the ferret cage then going back for others. They got dropped too. "Going to the donation bin?" Pooch guessed.
"After the rest of the family picks over them." He went back to his room. "Don, you need a new suit."
"No I don't. I have six too many as is," he said firmly. "So does Horatio."
Sam cackled. "Try harder, Xander." He came out to pick over the t-shirts, getting him some and Dean some. He handed back the Co-Ed Naked one. "Dean got you that." Xander went to put it back in the drawer. Sam carried theirs up to their room then grabbed his sword to go out and work with the guys. "Xander, sword katas."
"Yup." He took a kiss from Don, who went to get his sword too. The others came out to watch from the porch area but the groups were going well enough. Don and Xander were sparring. Don was clearly less trained.
Sam looked over. "Don, come work with him. I'll help wear Xander out." They switched places and he blocked a shot with a grin. "Go for it. It's been a while since we went all out."
"Aw, shit," Dean muttered. "Out of the way, guys." They got out of the way. Jensen let out a quiet whimper when they started off. "It's a style only GHS can use. We don't know why." They both stared, nodding slightly. Jensen started to drool but caught himself and wiped it off.
Clay and Pooch were giving them a long stare too. "I didn't know the human body could do that," Jolene said quietly.
"Apparently he's very flexible." Clay nodded he agreed. "I wonder if there's anything behind the sword stuff with that."
"Yes," Xander called. "You're taught it as a dance which teaches you the self defense stuff." He glanced over and winked. "I've started an orgy at a GHS convention with it." He got back to attacking Sam. Sam got him on his side, making him yelp but he got him back and paid more attention. It was wearing out his backlog really well.
Clay watched how the wound healed, timing it mentally so he could plan what might happen if his two losers got shot again.
"Xander, duck," Dean shouted. Xander ducked and Dean shot the thing flying in. "Damn harpies in Miami?"
Xander looked then nodded. "Maybe they're on spring break." He shrugged and got Sam again. Dean sighed and trudged over to join in. "You need work," Xander teased with a grin.
"That's because I'm not backed up," he quipped back. The rest of the family showed up during the sparring session. Xander was still holding his own against the two of them.
Mac groaned as he got out. "Of course we'd come when they were doing that."
Stella punched him on the arm. "He's out of practice."
"He's been lazy all week," Dean called, starting to pant. "I am so going to tie you to the bed for Danny and Don later." He ducked a blow at his forehead, which made him fall down. "I give." Xander smirked and drove Sam back, making him trip over Dean but he rolled back to his feet and attacked again. "Sammy, you're dripping sweat. Let someone else attack Xander." Sam huffed but Xander snickered. "C'mon. Go shower and eat something.
"I made pork chops," Xander offered.
"We love your pork chops," Mac promised. He patted Xander on the back. "Don?"
"I'm working with the new guys, Mac."
Ryan coughed. "Let me do that since I'm the same sort of style they'd start with and I was trained to train?" Don nodded. He and Danny sparred with Xander instead. Dean got Sam and him into separate showers and came out redressed a few minutes later.
"Where did you train?" Clay asked.
"An off-realm temple of Ares. So did Xander." Clay gave him an odd look. He grinned. "We got taken together. Xander learned his style on another road trip we took together."
"When I got Hubert, the baby dragon," Xander agreed.
"Do we need to retrieve you guys from those often?" Clay asked.
"Only us, and we usually handle those ourselves," Xander quipped.
"If not, I need to know how you travel that way."
"I can teach you that," Xander promised, waving a hand. "Plus make sure you have a way."
"Thanks, kid." He shifted in his seat to make his pants quit bunching up painfully.
Dean smirked at him. "Should see him do the full dances, dude."
"The hacker this morning wanted tape of it," Pooch said.
"What sort of hacker is he?" Don demanded.
"NSA." Xander blew a kiss.
Ryan shook his head. "Xander, just dance it out for right now. That'll take the rest of the backlog. Danny and Don both looked wiped out."
Xander pouted but nodded, moving into those instead. Everyone stared. He enjoyed being the center of attention but the new guys were a lot more intense. He turned around to dance at the garage instead so he wouldn't lose his concentration. It'd been a while since he'd done the full dances.
Jensen gaped then pointed. "Can I do those?"
"You can try but usually only GHS can do them," Ryan said quietly.
"Conozco a las mujeres de Latina que se mueven bien pero no tienen gusto de eso (I know Latina women who move well but not like that)," Cougar said, shaking his head to clear it. He went inside to get a cold drink before he started to sweat.
Jensen sat down, watching. "This is so much stronger than I thought it'd be."
"I've seen full fledged sex shows that aren't that arousing," Clay agreed quietly, earning a punch from Jolene. He glared but she stared back. "I'm sure he realizes it."
"Yeah, that's how he trapped some Mala Noche guys who were responsible for blowing up a cop," Ryan said quietly.
"That'd definitely make me do stupid things." He took Jensen's camera from him. "Quit."
"Fine. I wanted to save it for later."
"We have the full series set of teaching tapes in the office," Ryan told him. Xander panted, falling out of synch. He walked over. "You okay?"
"Just tired." He gulped air. "I need a shower."
"You do. We'll fix things to go with dinner."
"They need baked. They're marinating right now."
"We can grill them." He smiled. Xander nodded, kissing him and heading inside with Danny. Ryan waited then grinned. "He's not backlogged."
Clay clapped. "That was a hell of a show."
Jensen nodded. "Yeah, it was." He got up. "I'm for a cold shower."
"He does it to everyone," Ryan assured him with a grin. "Even the straightest guy."
"Yes he did," Pooch agreed. "Because the Pooch doesn't usually like guys." His wife kissed him. "Help me shower?" She nodded, taking him and the baby inside.
Clay followed. "Since no one's going to need hot water anyway," he quipped.
Ryan smirked at the rest of the family, who clapped. "Excellent idea, Ryan," Horatio praised. "Someday soon we can fix you up with one of your own."
"I think that's one of the plans for the next life," Dean quipped.
"It might be," Ryan admitted, making Speed and Horatio laugh. He saw the confused looks. "I'm one of the backup protectors for him, guys. And if necessary I pinch hit to save Don and Danny's lives so they can work the next day."
"That's a job that's got to be dirty and messy," Mac teased.
"Only sometimes." He smirked at Eric, who shook his head quickly. "You're out of practice."
"I know. I'll start again this weekend. When I get some time off. Nag Xander about his stamina."
"I will be."
"Oh Great High Priest, can't we have a weekend off?" Dean begged.
"No. The same as you couldn't hunting." He shrugged. "Sorry, guys."
"We know," Sam said with a smile. "It's tiring but we do need to work out every day." He looked at Dean. "Because I'll resurrect you if you get taken."
Dean smirked at him. "Of course you will. You'd miss my ass." He went inside to look at the pork chops. "Fire up the grill, Sammy." He got up to do that. Ryan came over to help with the pork chops. Dean got the other stuff ready to be laid out for when everyone finally got out of their cold showers. He heard a fussy baby and looked in the mirror house. He was on the couch. "Did you lose your thumb, little fella? Taking the baby outside," he called.
He sat the baby in a chair, making him happy because he could see things. Sam was growling at the hellhound. Dean pulled out his holy water but the thing dropped the envelope in its mouth before disappearing. "All the way," Dean ordered, looking around. The hellhound went home. Dean got tongs to pick up the drool covered envelope, grinning at the baby. "Yeah, it drooled like you do, huh?"
Jensen came jogging out. "What happened?"
"The baby was fussing so we brought him out," Sam said with a grin.
"He decided the hellhound drooled like him and cooed at it." He dropped the envelope beside Xander's bed and walked out since they were busy. Jolene was coming out scowling. "He was fussy."
"Babies do that."
"Don't remind me, I helped raise that one," he said with a point at Sam. He tossed the tongs into the sink and came back to help. She looked around before joining them. They grinned. "Xander taught us."
"My mother taught me just fine but he's a bit picky and fussy."
"He could use more people to fuss over," Sam said quietly. "Or unbacked up more often might help too."
Dean nodded quickly. "Even the poker buddies were worried." They laid food out inside on the counter, letting everyone get their stuff. Dean found a frozen bag of marinating pork chops and defrosted them in the microwave, then tossed them on the grill too. They were going to run out.
The trio didn't make dinner but they were entertainment enough.
Clay looked toward the bedroom then at Dean and Sam. "What builds that sort of stamina?"
"The dancing," Sam said with a smile.
Ryan nodded. "He didn't used to be so bouncy before he learned it." They all smirked at him for that. Xander yelped and they all clapped. It was nice the new guys were all smartasses, even the baby.
To next part