My Cult Is Fun.

Don hung up his phone, groaning a bit as he sank back into his desk chair.  Then he got up and went to talk with someone more reasonable.  "Mac?" he called as he walked past the receptionist.

"Chem," she called after him.

He smiled and waved, the headed up to the next floor to track him.  He taps then walks in, seeing Stella there.  "I need advice."

"On a case?"

"Sort of.  My cult is getting out of hand.  Gibbs found a chapter in DC that had about ten members and some of their kids."  Mac gave him an incredulous look.  "You and Danny didn't tell him?" he asked Stella.

"We did, he didn't listen.  His cult was the one trying to blow up the women's bathrooms, Mac."  That got a small moan.  "What are they doing now?"

"Tony found one of the guys down there hurting a lot of women, and another worshiper.  I wanna discourage 'em.  I don't know how."

"Talk to them," she offered.  "Be serious and let them know you'd never want anything that used your image that hurt women."

"I tried that, they didn't think I was me.  They're on the hunt for a rogue member."  He grimaced, leaning against the table.  "I don't know how ta stop 'em.  I'm almost desperate enough to talk ta Hillborne to see if he's got any evil ideas."

"If you open a dialogue, they could get mad when their delusions are broken; they could end up coming after you, Don," Mac offered.  "You can't be held responsible."

"But I am, Mac.  My father's holding me responsible.  IAB and Hillborne have been giving me dirty looks about it. Someone else tried ta tease me. Mirsck said to hold on, that it happened to guys like me sometimes.  Alex said he's got three or four to him, but I can't put up with this.  Not with them hurting women and with kids around there."

"Open up a dialogue, give them proof it's you, but do not meet them in person," Mac ordered.  "I'll talk to Hillborne and say that you're trying to discourage them. I don't have any suggestions about how you'd contact them."

"They've got a webpage and a bulletin board on it," Stella told him.  "Danny found it.  He showed Stan."  She smirked at him.  "He's also got a password for it."  Don nodded, going to find him.  "This could get really messy."

"I'll call him right now," he offered, going to his office to do that.  He dialed the phone with the hand he took the glove off of.  "Hillborne, Taylor.  No, something else.   You know about the cult to Don Flack Jr.?"  He smirked.  "That one.  They're finding more who're hurting people.  I've suggested that he talk to them to discourage such behavior and to turn those members in, especially since they're raising kids among themselves.  I don't care that they're gay.  I care that one of them found by NCIS was a serial killer killing young women.  He's not the first.  They're the same group that tried to bomb the station.  That's why I advised him to use a non-meeting method of contacting them.  Of course, I'll have them print off transcripts for you.  They sent Danny Messer a password since they think he's his guardian.  I have no idea.  I'm not up to date on that situation. You'd have to ask Messer, and I'd ask politely with the mood he's been in.  He's likely to walk off laughing."  He hung up and went back to work.  "Danny, print off any and all transcripts," he ordered from the doorway on his way past.  "Hillborne said so."

"Yeah, I'll do that, Mac."  He waited until he was long gone.  "Hillborne can blow me.  He'd do it poorly but he can blow me."  Don snickered.  "Mac, I'm taking off to do that," he called.  They were only up the hall.

"Fine," Stella called.  "Thank you for the warning."

Danny led Don back to his desk, going to fire up the computer and get to work on it.  He found the site he had bookmarked, his password automatically put in for him.  He logged them on, pointing at a spare chair.  "Pull it over."  Don did so, sitting beside him.  "How do you wanna do this?  Commands from on high?  Trying ta reason with 'em?  I wouldn't suggest playing to their delusions."

Don considered it.  "I'd rather make them see reason.  Someone could disobey if I ordered it and I'm not really comfortable with that."

"Okay."  Danny logged onto the bulletin board.  Someone immediately asked him how he dared to use the name of the Protector of the Father.  He pointed out it was him and Flack, they were at work.  That they needed to talk to the higher ups about some things that had been bothering Don.  A few more people logged on.  One asked him to prove it was him.  Danny typed in what they were wearing and told them to ask their hidden mole in the station since they were at work at the moment.  A few minutes later someone wrote and said that they were at Danny's desk typing into the bulletin board, that they were wearing those outfits, and it was them.  That got them accepted.  Danny looked at him.  "Start off with the DC situation?"

"Start off small," Don ordered, leaning on the desk to stare at his typing.  "You do that faster than I do."

"They'd expect me to announce shit for you," Danny reminded him as he typed. "It's come to Don's attention through some friends in DC, that some of you have been doing horrible things to others in his name.  He loathes this.  Don has stood for punishing those who needed to be punished, but these ones are going after innocents, specifically women," he muttered as he typed. He ran out of room and sent that.  A few of them sent back outraged icons. He snorted.  "Don appreciates women and their role in men's lives. Mothers, mentors, caregivers, those who soothe hurts and help you learn. Don's got a sister he adores, but they do pick on each other as only siblings can.  This is really irking him."

"I'd say," he complained.  He took the keyboard and typed in slowly but carefully.  "Guys, I hate that some of you are hurting women.  It's making the rest of you look bad and it's teaching the kids in the groups bad things.  I HATE people who hurt others for no good reason.  Them being female is not a good reason."

Danny took the keyboard back and sent that.  "Me again," he muttered as he typed.  "Don's so torn up about this, he's asked others how to help those of you who're not doing the evil things.  He's even thought about asking the assholes in IAB if he could meet you guys without getting into trouble to stop those of you who're doing this stuff.  He'd do almost anything to get you guys doing the bad stuff ta stop it."  He sent that, reading the responses.  "No, not all women are worthy to switch over to the faith.  The problem is that those who won't switch are the ones who'll become mothers.  The ones who'll be teachers and nurses.  They're the ones who stitch us up after we're hurt and hold us when we've had a bad day."  Someone sent back that Stella seemed to be able to do that.  "Yeah, well, she's a special case and they all knew she was one of them, but she couldn't stitch them up and she couldn't comfort them after all the worst cases.

"If they knew me at all, they'd know I respect nearly everyone except those who hurt others for shits and giggles," Don pointed out bitterly. "Hell, I was even nice ta the strippers on the last case."

"You were."  He typed that quote in verbatim, putting it in quotes.  Someone typed in that the rest would stay unenlightened.  Danny responded that 'that was fine, you can always preach to them, but making them hurt for not believing wasn't the right way to get people to believe.  It led people away from the truth'.

Don took the keyboard back.  "I'm sorry, I can't let them hurt others.  It's wrong and against the law.  I hate people who hurt others for no good reasons.  I hunt them down and put them into cells.  Those who I've caught doing it are in jail.  They're being the girls on their cellblocks.  I can't stand letting this situation go on.  It's giving me a bad name along with the rest of the officers.  People are thinking I'm telling you guys to do this, and I don't want it to happen.  You can treat them like unknowing heathens.  You can treat them like they're beneath you if you must, though I don't like that idea either. I like it when we respect women, all women, even the prostitutes and strippers, until they prove they're bad guys.  They've got kids too.  They provide comfort to those lonely sorts who crave it."  He hit send and kept going.  "I want us to respect others.  Like the Buddhists do.  I cannot accept women being treated like that with good conscious.  If it continues, I'll have to lump everyone in with them because you let them continue on that horrible path.  You'll all end up in jail.  I don't want that."  He hit send, letting them respond.

Danny took the keyboard back.  "Listen, if you need help ousting them, send us information on them and we'll pass it onto those who can stop them for you. We don't want attention brought to you guys, but they've got to be stopped."

Don read the note about Kelly Standa.  "She's one of us," he agreed. Danny nodded and typed that in.  That Tony was initiating her. That all their best of best friends, those who truly understood who and what Don was and stood for had females who were changing over to help them deal with those around them who didn't understand.  Someone asked if   they could trust those four or five to help them stop the members going wrong.  "Yes!" Danny agreed.  "Hell yes!"  He sent thoughts at Speed and Tony, getting nods back.  "Yes, that would be fine. They've agreed.  You can send them the wrong members and information to have them stopped if you have to.  They'd keep it as quiet as they could, and they know that all of the members aren't like that, though they did like to tease Don about having a religion based on his ideas and eyes.  That if they didn't think they had one locally to send it to them and they'd find someone out in that area who could do these things quietly."

Someone asked for someone on the West Coast.  "Sandburg, Ellison, Banks," Don said quietly.  Danny typed that in, saying if they couldn't handle it for being too far away, they'd know who to send it to.  Also to send it to Sanders or Brass in Vegas.  To send it to Vecchio in Chicago.  To send it to anyone on Gibbs' team at NCIS for any military members who were harming others like that.  To send it to Horatio, Speed, Eric, or Ryan in Miami.  Calleigh would help but she might not fully understand yet.  Speed was going slowly with her training and transformation in some areas.  To send it to Tony for anything in Philadelphia because he used to work there and had contacts there.  They could either advise or send it on quietly for those areas that weren't mentioned.

"Please stop them," Don typed in.  "I can't take that.  Not only how it's making me look like I support such actions, but also how it's hurting others.  Other officers and families were being torn up because of this plan."  He sent that and leaned back.  "Print that?"  Danny hit the print button, getting a 'no printing allowed.  Don took the keyboard back.  "I have to print it, guys.  Hillborne said so.  Or he said he's going to take my badge over this stuff."  An IM message window came up and a file was sent over.  He scanned it then downloaded it to print it.  He smiled.  "Is there anything else I can help you guys with?" he typed in.

"Wear the shirt that brings out your eyes," someone typed in.  "Please.  Looking on your radiance makes our loads lighter for that time."

"Which one?" Don asked.  "I always try to look my best."

Danny took the keyboard back.  "The one he wears with the blue striped tie, the one with the solid blue tie, or the one with the silver and red tie?"

"The silver and red tie one," Don read, shrugging.  "Okay, I can do that tomorrow if necessary.  Where is it?"

"My place," Danny admitted.  "It's in my closet since he picked up his dry cleaning the other day and brought it over when he came to dinner. I'll nag him into it tomorrow."  He looked at the next message.  "Okay, which one?"  He frowned at the answer.  "What silver one?  The only silver one I have is silk and it's my second favorite shirt.  No way I'm endangering it on a dirty, nasty, bloody crime scene."  Someone asked what his favorite shirt was.  "My black silk one."

"You have a black silk shirt?" Don asked him, giving him an odd look.  Danny smirked and nodded. "I've never seen you wear it."

"Not like I'm gonna wear it *here*, Flack.  With the shit I get into?  Not a chance in hell.  I wear it clubbing and on dates."  He shrugged and typed in he'd do that if they could guarantee he'd have an easy day and no cases where he'd get it nasty or dirty.  If so, someone was going to be cleaning it or replacing it.  That got a few moans and agreement.  "Silver or black?"  A short fight started and they finally decided they loved him in the silver one but they wanted to see what the black one looked like.  "Like I said, you make damn sure I don't have a case tomorrow to get nasty on and I'll wear it."  They agreed.  "Good.  Then I'll wear the black one tomorrow and the silver one the day after."  He smirked.  "And my new seafoam green one the day after that, deal?"  That got a few more moans and agreement.  "You know, Tony's been wanting to dress Don," he typed in, smirking evilly. "Someone should advise him on that."  Then he logged off.  The rest of the transcript was sent over and he printed that after scanning it.  He handed it to Don, who collated then got up, walking off shaking his head.  "What?" he called after him.

"I should warn Tony that you're getting him sent clothing ideas.  Gibbs won't be amused."

"With the hellish case they caught coming in today, he might be."  Don looked at him.  "Meat grinder.  Head first."

"Eww."  Don walked off shuddering.   He handed the transcripts to Mac.  "There ya go, for the moron.  They've agreed to help us stop those who're hurting women."

"Thank you, Don.  I know you hate the idea of them worshiping you, but you're doing the best you can."

"Arens has one to him.  It's all girls who want him to turn straight and make them his harem so they can have baby curse breakers."  Stella snickered at that, bending down to laugh.  She loved to pick on Arens about his habit of debauching tight little young men and making them gay.  "Seriously!  Alex said so.  He said he's had four.  Arens runs from his but Alex teases his since they're all impure and naughty for his pleasure and to gain enlightenment."  He smirked as he walked off, feeling better now.

Mac glanced through the sheets.  "Do I know Ellison, Sandburg, and Banks?"

"Sandburg as in Blair?" Stella prompted.  "You met him at the convention, Mac.  Ellison's his buddy and Banks is their boss."

"Oh, okay."  He shrugged, going on with his reading. "Danny's got a silver silk shirt?"

"He's worn it once.  He looked really hot.  It made his eyes sparkle a very icy blue."  She smiled at him.

"They're making him wear it as long as they can promise him no nasty cases that day, or else they pay for cleaning or a replacement."  He looked at the last line.  "I should warn Gibbs," he muttered.

"Don't.  They've had a meat grinder case today.  It'll make him laugh."

"Sure.  If you say so."


Gibbs glared at Tony as his email notification went off.  "If that's one of your bimbos," he started.

"No, it's from Don's faithful.  They've giving me ideas on how to dress Don apparently," he offered, scanning the message.  He sent a heated thought at Danny, getting a wicked, evil cackle back. "We might get sent some information on any other military personnel in the cult who're hurting women.  Don's asked them to please quit, to please respect women, and to let us help them stop them."  He looked at his boss, who looked slightly amused.  "Like the sword idiot, boss."

"I remember, unfortunately.  I had thoughts I didn't want that night, DiNozzo."

"Better than the ones I had about Taylor kicking himself for his shields dropping," he muttered.  Gibbs smirked at him.  "Yeah, he did too."  He shrugged and another one came in.  "Huh, a color palette.  Someone's very artistic and has a very good eye.  They're right, I should take Don shopping."  He got back to work, printing off the next one, getting up and handing it over to his boss.  "Rangers, boss."  He went back to his seat.

"I got one in the Air Force, boss," McGee offered, printing it off and handing it over.  He went back to his computer, giving Tony a sideways look.  "What cult?"

"There's a cult that believes Don Flack Jr. is the reincarnation of their Father and Saint," Tony said, smiling at him.  Ziva gave him an odd look.  "You've probably never met Don.  Don's a nice guy.  Oh, Kelly, one of them gave me suggestions on books to help you become one of the women who've switched over to Don's form of enlightenment."  She smirked at that, shaking her head.  "They'll be surprised some day soon."

"Hopefully."  She looked at her email then handed over one.  "Another two Marines, Gibbs, same base."

He groaned and gathered the information together, paperclipping it.  "I'll take it to JAG later today.  Any others, add it to the pile."  He put it in front of his monitor.  Then he got back to work.  "Any ID on the fingerprints yet, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, boss, didn't Abby call you?"  He walked over the sheet.  "That's our guy.  We're doing background checks now since he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near there."  He walked off, going to make more coffee.  When it was done, he brought out the pot and refilled his cup, then gave him a look.  "Time for a brain refill, boss?  You sound tired."  He walked the pot back there, then went back to his seat.

"Not funny," Gibbs growled.

"Oh, come on, boss, he'd look cute in a waitress' apron," McGee teased.

"More work, less nasty fantasies I didn't want to hear anyway!" he said firmly.  "Now, people."  They got back to work, handing him what they had. "Thank you!" he snapped. He did sip the coffee.  He was a bit tired.  Their case had called them out at four in the morning and it was nearly 1600 hours.  Tony's email beeped again and he sighed, saving that message.  "More clothes?"

"With pictures."  He rolled his eyes and sent one to Don, making him choke and splutter, and Speed too.  "Good."


Speed turned away to cough, walking away from the scene he and Eric were working.

"What's wrong?" Eric called.

"Someone wants to dress Don in a gold lamme toga."

"That's tacky," Eric agreed.  His phone beeped, sending him an email notification.  He browsed the information it provided.  "Why are we getting notifications of people who're killing women in Tampa?"

"Don's cult."

Eric gaped at him. "He's got a *cult*?"  Speed nodded. "Why!"

"It's all men, they think he's the reincarnation of their Father and Patron Saint," he said sarcastically, coming back.  "He demanded earlier that they quit harboring any members who hurt others, especially those who hurt women since they're very anti-woman on the best of days."

Eric moaned and shook his head.  "Women are *nice*."

"They are, but some of these guys think that women have to give up being women and change into men to be considered worthy of enlightenment.  So some of them have started killing those unworthy.  It bothered Don; he and Danny told them to pass on the information to those of us in the know who could handle it and could deal with this quietly.  Which would be us.  Forward it to Horatio."

Eric did that from his phone, still shaking his head.  "I'd never give up women for religion.  Never, ever give up women."

"They'd all pout at you if you tried," Speed agreed.  Eric glared at him.  Speed's phone beeped so he answered it. "Speedle."  He listened then smirked.  "But Horatio, it's part of Don's cult."  He hung up on the growl. "Horatio's having an evil bastard day."  His phone beeped with an email notification.  "Hey, now they're working on Don's wardrobe."  He sent back a message that he liked Don's suits.  To send those to Tony and Danny.  That maybe it would please Don if more of them dressed like him or at least had his fashion sense since what he'd seen of the robes they wore, they looked like they were Dumbledore from the HP books.  Then he got back to work.  Dead bodies needed to be dealt with in a timely manner, even if he was rolling around on the floor mentally.


 Stella looked over as the daytime receptionist for the CSI department walked up to where she was eating lunch.  "Problems?" she asked before eating another bite of her salad.

"I've got someone on hold who wanted to know who Don's tailor and suit shop are," she said quietly.  "I'm not sure what to tell them."

She held up a finger and yelled at Don over their bond, getting an answer and a question about him getting a present.  She sent back a 'no, the receptionist wanted to know' and cut him off again.  She wrote down the names and handed it over. The woman smiled and hurried back to her desk to pass that on.

Don leaned in the room.  "The receptionist wanted to know?"  She nodded, eating a bite of her salad and chewing slowly.  "Why?"

"Someone called and asked."

He groaned and yelled at the rest of the group, hearing Speed laughing his ass off.  He chewed him out, walking off pouting.  Sheldon gave him a pitiful look.  "Speed suggested my cult start dressing like me."

He patted him on the back. "It can only class up some precincts, Don.  Remember that."   He nodded, still pouting.  "At least you'll know who some of the members are.  Plus your tailor and suit shop will love you a lot.  They might even give you a discount."  Don whimpered and walked off, looking more miserable now.  "Sorry!  Trying to help!"  He walked off to tell that one to Danny and Mac since they were working together.  "Guys?"  They looked at him and Danny smiled.  "His cult wants to start dressing like him."

Danny burst out laughing, leaning back on his stool but holding onto the table.  "I wondered why Donny was swearing at Speed."

"I tried to give him a few good points of that situation but he's pouting now."

"If they could see it, they'd all come hug him," Danny giggled.  "Oh, Gods, I should take a picture of it sometime and post it on the bulletin board."

"Too late!" Stella called as she walked past the door.  "I saw one of them doing it.  I was right about him being one!"

Danny let out another peal of laughter at that.  "Now they need it when he's playful and doing the kissy face."

Mac shook his head. "More work, less giggling, Danny, before someone suggests you take a drug test," he said fondly, getting back to work. "Try to cushion him if and when it happens, Sheldon.  A few've went to talk to his parents to ask them about how he grew up and who he dated as a teenager.  They wanted baby pictures for the webpage too."  Danny ran for the bathroom at that, still laughing.

"THEY DID WHAT!" Don shrieked.

"Ooops.  Sheldon, close and lock the door on your way out, okay?"

Sheldon nodded, doing that for him.  It was a small favor and that way he could find a quiet corner and laugh his ass off.  "Hopefully Danny made it to the bathroom in time."  He took the back hallways, going down to the tunnels under the morgue to hide and laugh.  He found Hammerback down there.  "Don's cult," he gasped as he broke out laughing.

"I've heard."  He gave him an amused look.  "What have they done now?  A new hymn?"

Sheldon gasped a deep breath.  "Want to dress like him, asked his parents about baby pictures and his past dates and stuff."  He burst out in new laughs.  "Took a picture of him pouting," he managed to get out.

Sid Hammerback shook his head, letting out a few chuckles of his own.  "That is rather cute. Hopefully this doesn't make him paranoid."

"No, won't," he promised, waving a hand.  "He'll sic Stella on 'em."

Sid smiled at that.  He adored Stella.  She could definitely take on that cult of women- haters and make them see the light.


Don landed at the castle, pouting the whole way inside.

"You look like someone ate your dog," Ron told him.  Don snorted and went to the study, sitting down on Alex's lap to get a hug; Alex would understand and not egg the others on or push his cult into further worship of him.  Ron came to the door.  "What happened, Don?"

"His cult," Alex told him.

"Glad I don't have one of those yet."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Harry, Don's in," he called.

Alex patted him on the back.  "It'll be okay."

"Danny suggested they send clothing ideas to Tony.  Speed suggested they start dressing like me.  They've asked my parents about who I used ta date and for baby pictures."

"It sounds like you won't be killed by them anytime soon," he offered, stroking his back.  Draco came to the door. "His cult is bothering him."

"Having one would bother me," he admitted, coming in and pulling Don off his mate's lap.  "What did they do now?"

"Asked my parents about my childhood and for pictures.  They want to dress me and dress like me."  Draco smirked at that.  "It's not funny!" he complained.  He sat down, looking at him. "It's not!"

"It is," he assured him, kissing him on the head. "Pout if it makes you feel better, but get off my mate's lap."  Don got off Alex, curling up on the couch in the office. "Since you're here, you can advise Harry on that computer nastiness so he can woo his girlfriend."

"I'm not the person to ask about that stuff.  That would be McGee or Ryan Wolfe or maybe Speed. I barely use mine at work."

Horatio slammed the door open.  "Alex, we've got three curse breakers running artifacts stuffed with drugs and the bank won't help. They're refusing to turn them over.  We've got them in muggle custody but they've got helpers."

"They'll probably cite legal reasons and that it could expose us, Horatio.  Do you have a list?"  He nodded. "Then we can charm them to non-disclosure.  Let me call Gruinth while you help Don with his cult issues."

"Cult issues?" Horatio asked, looking at him.  "I got information on some serial killer earlier."

Don groaned.  "The cult to me, Horatio.  I made them turn over anyone who was hurting others, that it was wrong and I couldn't and wouldn't stand it."  He gave him a pitiful look. "Now they want to dress like me and want to help Tony dress me.  They've asked my parents for childhood memories and pictures."

"Suck it up, Flack, you're a curse breaker.  It happens to you guys like that," Horatio said dryly.

"At least they're not hunting you down as a living sacrifice," Draco offered.  "They've done that to a few others in past.  Arens' cult wanted to sew his arse shut so he couldn't take it up the bum anymore."  Don whimpered at that.  "They like you being gay, be proud!"

Alex shook his head, looking at the goblin.  "Horatio needs an intervention with the local branch."

"We've heard. It's too dangerous."

"It's not if you non-disclosure them," he offered.

"We can do that readily and will be but the man they're working for could try to topple the bank.  He's got many political allies who would not think twice about helping the purge by attacking us and our underpinnings of modern society."

"Can we take him out?" Horatio asked as he came over.  The goblin shrugged. "Is he an American?"  The goblin nodded.  "Who?"  A file was sent over, bordered in red.  "Oh, damn."  He picked it up, looking through it.  "This is a Senator."  The goblin nodded. "He's involved in illegal activities?"

"Yes, but you can't prove it by legal means."

"Oh, I can," Horatio assured him.  "Can you do the non-disclosure charms on him and the others from a distance? I can take this to Gibbs tonight."

"Interesting ploy."

"They've got someone who's about to burn her political capitol anyway," Alex agreed.

"Can I go?" Harry called.  "I need to change some of my money to muggle money then figure out how to make a computer work here so I can chat with Abby."

"We have a computer lab at the London branch, Mr. Potter," the goblin assured him. Harry beamed at him.  "We can lend you the book of charms for that."  He looked at Horatio.  "How many do you have?"

"Three.  We can only keep them for 48 hours without charging them."

"Can you charge them in muggle courts?"

"Yes, they were shipping through our docks and were found.  The drugs were found, that's more than enough to arrest them."  The goblin nodded.  "I'm more worried about their accomplices.  There was a goblin with them.  Speedle saw one there."

"I'll figure that out for you.  Who do I talk to there?"

"DiNozzo," Alex told him.  "He's one of people helping my two students."

"Agreed.  Thank you."  His head disappeared.

"Thank you, Alex," Horatio told him.

"Not a problem, Horatio.  I don't like drugs.  I never have.  I'll be down there next week for a slight vacation and to check on Willow.  Draco wants a tan," he said with a grin.

"That's fine.  Don't cause me any additional work please."  He looked at Don, then at Harry.  "Harry, come.  We're going to NCIS.  You can get the charms book after you get McGee's input on a computer system."  He nodded, going to grab his jacket and the credit card that ran on muggle systems but led back to his Gringotts vault.  They walked out together, doing a portkey from the approved point.  They landed in the parking garage, where someone had set up a target and approved spot.  They walked around and to the front entrance, Horatio showing his badge.  "I need to see Gibbs and DiNozzo.  So does he," he ordered, signing them in.

"Of course, sir."  He looked at the name, then at Harry.  "I heard you were here before."  Harry grinned. "Should I call Abby?"  Harry blushed and shrugged a bit.

Horatio sighed and rolled his eyes. "That was a yes.  He's terminally shy."  The guard laughed and got them visitor passes, then let them into the elevator.  Horatio looked at him.  "Quit blushing, Harry.  She's a beautiful young woman who you adore.  Show and prove to her that you adore her as more than a sex object.  She'll like that."  Harry blushed again but nodded.  "Don't go overboard on the presents though.  It looks like you're pre- apologizing and making up for inadequacies."  The elevator landed and they walked out.  "Gibbs."  He looked over, frowning at him. He waved the folder.  "I just caught a case that's going to chew on your tail too."  He handed it over. "Drug smugglers.  Alex's coworkers.  He's helping where he can but they've got support issues behind them."

"I've never seen a red-label bank file," Tony said in awe, coming over.  "They're the worst of threats."

"They think if I arrest all my smugglers, that one'll take out the underpinnings and help the purge," Horatio said quietly.  "Your director however...."  He smirked at him.

"Ooh, and she could do that too," Tony agreed.  "Boss?"

"Sounds ideal for her," he agreed, looking at Horatio.  "Can I say where this came from?"

"A banking background check.  It was handed over when I checked their contacts.  They were smuggling them inside artifacts."

"I can do that," he agreed.  He looked at Harry, seeing him fidgeting.  "Abby's in her lab.  Go."  He hurried off.  Gibbs shook his head.  "He really is terminally shy, isn't he?"

"Of course he is, boss.  He once said he had no more idea of what to do with a woman than he did with an American football," McGee offered. He stood up.  "Should I take that up there so you don't look like you're asking for a favor?"  He and Ziva were the only ones not blacklisted at the moment by the Director's petty power plays.

"Take Horatio up there, McGee.  If I can help, I will, Horatio."

"Thank you.  Are you getting funny files on Don's cult?"  Gibbs patted the pile. "I've got one from Tampa so far."  He shrugged and walked off with the file, following McGee.

McGee smiled at the director's secretary.  "This is Lieutenant Caine, from Miami.  He runs their CSI labs and due to a drug case, he's come up on a problematic contact that he thinks she can help him with.  Does she have ten or fifteen minutes?"

"I'll check.  She was pacing a minute ago."  She called in there.  "Director, there's a Lieutenant Caine out here with Agent McGee.  They've come up with a problematic contact and were referred to you."  She opened the door and motioned them in so the secretary hung up, smiling at them.  "Will you need coffee, Lieutenant?"

"No thank you.  I'm about coffeed out for the day.  Thank you anyway," he said with a soft smile, following McGee in.  Director Sheppard closed the door.  "This isn't you area, ma'am, but I was advised to come to you with this by someone who would know."

"About what?"

"Earlier today, we had some artifact finders who were found to be smuggling cocaine inside the artifact shipments. Unfortunately they're being shielded by someone higher up, someone that can go through the FBI and make them make us let them go."  He handed over the file. "That was sent to me by a contact.  It was gotten from a banking background check by an exclusive bank."  She looked at him.  "He's backing them and covering their problems."

"I see."  She sat behind her desk, looking that over.  "It wouldn't be terribly hard to find that."

"Yes, but due to his position, he can make things difficult to say the least.  Not only for Miami and the rest of Florida's law enforcement officers, but also for anyone investigating him who wasn't able to cover their own hind ends," he said, sitting across from her.

"I'm going to go, ma'am," McGee said before walking out, closing the door behind her.

"What's going on?" the secretary hissed.

"A secret background file of someone covering for drug runners," he murmured, making her shiver.  "Yeah.  Too high for the FBI."  He shrugged and went back to his desk.  "They're talking, boss."

"Thank you, McGee. Abby said she's going to help Harry find a computer for his room.  You might get a call about that."

"Yes, sir.  I've got the book on that at home."  He called Abby's cellphone.  "Swing by my house and get the green, scaley looking book off my special shelf, Abby.  It's on computers and how to make them work in low tech areas like the castle.  It works better with some sorts of processors than not.  That's the updated version of what the banks use."  He smiled.  "You're welcome. I like Harry, Abby.  You know that.  He's a very nice guy."  He hung up and looked at his boss, then got up to hand in his report.  "That's all I've found so far, boss.  I'm still working on the encryption on his possible suicide note.  It's doubly encrypted and before that it was run through an online translator."

"Get it to me as fast as you can," he said tolerantly. "If it was a suicide, we can leave it with how he got into the meat grinder."

"I got that part, boss," DiNozzo offered, standing up and finding the remote to put it onto the screen.  "Assuming he was at home when he died, however he died, this is the security footage from his apartment complex.  Notice the Datsun?"  He sped forward. "That's someone carrying out the body.  I had Abby make sure it was him by enhancing the picture.  That was our dead sergeant.  So they carried him out, put him into the car," he said, moving it to that frame.  "Then they headed off.  I'm guessing they were either trying to take out the evidence or to make it seem like something other than a suicide.  Possibly for religious reasons.  Abby couldn't get a clear view of the plate, it was dirt-covered, but she did note that all the bumper stickers were religious in nature."

"Do we have any idea who drives the Datsun?" Gibbs demanded.

"Working on it, boss.  Like I said, the plates are dirt covered. There's no doorman.  I've called the neighbors to ask them about the Datsun when we found it on the tape.  No one remembers him having any friends, even two hours after we looked."

"Datsuns are really old cars," McGee offered. "Not very popular ones either.  How many of those would still be around, Tony?"

"I've got a query into the DMV, I'm waiting on that information now, Probie.  Good thought though.  That's not a particularly *good* car, not something collectors would keep.  I'm hoping for a very small number that we can cross-reference."

"How long before the DMV spits it out?"

"It's nearly six-boss.  That would depend on the computers not being down tonight. If so, it might be in the morning if the upgrade they've been promising for the last year goes up tonight like it's supposed to.  I'll resend it if I haven't heard anything by when I come in."

"Good work," he decided.  He stood up.  "Take a dinner break and come back here."  They nodded and headed out.  "Officer David?"  She looked at him.  "Do you have nothing?"

"On his background?  Just what I noted earlier, Gibbs.  He's very devout, a Baptist.  His schedule was arranged around his Church's.  I've got a call into the Minister but he's refusing to speak to me. I was about to head over there with a male, in case that's why they wouldn't speak with me."

"Might be a good idea," Tony offered from the elevator.  "We had a problem a few years back with some more hardcore ministers cooperating with female agents, boss.  It was in the same area as well."

"I remember.  Kate swore for weeks about it."  Tony nodded at that, stepping on when the elevator doors opened.  He looked at her again.  "Go over after dinner, at the very least get the Minister's name and see if anyone there can tell you anything about the victim.  If he's that devout, the gardener should be able to tell you something."  She nodded. "Do they have services tonight?"  She nodded more quickly.  "Good.  Time it to get there just before it's set to end so they can't disappear early."

"I was going to.  Should I take Tony or Tim?"

"Take McGee.  He comes off as non-threatening and can pass for any religion.  DiNozzo's name could harm him there."  She nodded, walking off. "Stan?"  She looked up, her eyes red. "You okay?"

"Allergies."  She handed over what she had. "My meds haven't kicked in yet. That's his financial records.  She's right, weekly eighty dollar tithes to the church until last week. Also a payment into this group, which I can't quite find the root of. It's a cover for something else.  Since there wasn't one last week, I'm almost thinking he's been kicked out.  If he committed suicide, that's probably why.  I have the feeling this company is the root cause.  I'm not sure why yet."

"Go eat, give your meds time to kick in."

"I can order in. I shouldn't drive like this."  She picked up her phone and called the pizza place she liked.  "Hey, it's Standa.  Usual please.  To work.  I'm burning late oil tonight.  Thanks."  She smiled and hung up, pulling up her wallet to put out money.  She put it in an envelope and wrote her name and who it went to on it.  Then she went to deliver it to reception.  "Dinner," she offered with a smile.

"I'll make sure the greedy guards don't eat too much this time," he promised with a smile.  "Meat grinder?"

"Gibbs would have my ass in a sling immediately if I shared anything," she reminded him with a small smirk.  "After we've got it."  He nodded, they all said that to him. "You ever think about going up?"

"I have but I can't hack all the physical requirements.  I've got a replacement hip."

"Poor baby."

"I did it to myself really, Standa.  I wrecked my bike going one-thirty on the highway.  It was a very pretty crash against the Camry who stopped suddenly."  She patted him on the face.  "Thanks.  I'll send it up when it gets here."  She smiled and walked off.  "Hey."  She turned to look at him.  "Is there any chance for any of us or are you a member of the DiNozzo appreciation society already?"

She smirked a little bit wickedly.  "I like Tony's hands, they're very good on my back when it's too tense, but Gwen's more my type, Bill."  He blushed at that. "I don't mean to give false hope."

"You don't. It's just that you're so sweet."  She blushed at that and ducked her head. "I'll send your dinner up."

"Thank you."  She got onto the elevator, smiling at Ducky.  "Going my way, Doc?"

"I'm afraid I'm heading for the garage, Kelly.  You?"

"My desk.  Something about that other place he had weekly payments to is bugging me."  She shrugged.  "Plus, I'm on my allergy meds and they suck ass."  She kissed him on the cheek. "Pass that onto your Ma and pet the puppies for me."  He chuckled and let her off the elevator, then went to the garage.  She went back to going through all the roots of that business.  Someone sent her an email and she sighed, printing it off and handing it to Gibbs since he was still up there too.  "One of yours," she told him, shrugging a bit.

Gibbs looked and nodded. "I knew him. It doesn't surprise me any.  Thank you."

"Not an issue.  Guys like that irk me ta no end and I wanna bust their nuts for 'em."  She slapped herself on the head.  "That's a brothel," she realized, going back to search it through the local PD's Vice department.  They sent back that it was and the information file they had on it.  "I'm right, that's a brothel, Gibbs."  She printed it out and brought it over.  "Funded by his damn church."

Gibbs nodded.  "We've had to deal with this church in the past.  That Minister made Kate swear for weeks."  They shared a look.  "Good work.  Call Ziva to make sure she knows."

"I'll call Tim in case she's driving."  She went to do that, weathering his amused look.  "Didn't you promise to have her given driving lessons?"

"I did."  He called over to the FBI Academy to arrange that.  "This is Gibbs, NCIS.  One of my agents is Mossad and it's been brought to my attention she may not have passed the American driving tests yet and she's shaky on defensive driving.  When can I send her to you?"  He smirked.  "Yes, for real.  I'm sure you've heard about her problems driving.  No, Standa's a very good driver.  She and McGee could probably use the defensive driving course, but that can happen sometime when we have time off.  She needs it sooner."  He nodded.  "Thank you.  I'll make sure she's there."  He hung up and made a note, sticking it on her desk.  "Thank you for reminding me."

"Gibbs, not to be crude, but is she good enough to make you lose focus?"  He looked at her. "You've had the 'I've got a great woman' grin all day, Gibbs.  I had it when I finally nailed Stella.  Is she worth losing your focus over?"

"It's only in the office."

"It is, but you nearly scared McGee.  Ducky gave you an amused look.  Tony smiled at your back earlier.  If she is, I'm happy for you, but you'd yell at us if we walked around like that all day."  They shared a look.  "If she's that special, don't hog her, introduce her to us so she worries about your six being covered and your sanity being dug out and ripped ta shreds.  Let Ducky tell her a few stories."

"I'm not sure we're that serious."

"You've got the goofy, guy in love grin, Gibbs. It's that serious."  She crossed her legs.  "I hope she keeps you happy, boss, but you'd be kicking Tony's ass if he grinned all day like that and forgot what we had told him a few hours earlier."

"I would," he agreed.  "I've got a date tomorrow and it's a special event."

"Good.  Let DiNozzo dress you. He's good at that.  That's why Don's cult want him to dress him."  She smirked at him.  "Invite her down for lunch or dinner sometime soon, boss.  Like the day we all take defensive driving refreshers."

"Agreed.  Thank you."

"Tony would tease.  McGee would stutter and Ziva doesn't understand the meaning of the smile.  I've been there before with Stella.  Still there with Stella to be honest."  He nodded at that. "Does it get easier when they leave?"

"No.  I still dream about the one who tried to cave my skull in with a golf club."

"Stella threw a frying pan and a potted plant at me, but missed.  She's a crap pitcher."  Gibbs laughed at that.  "Tony ever been in real love?"

Gibbs nodded.  "I think he was, that he's dating so much now searching for it.  Like taste testing a recipe until it tastes exactly the same as you had in the restaurant."  He shrugged and looked over the reports she sent him. "I remember that brothel very well.  They had some trannies last time.  I'm wonder if they kicked him due to gay leanings or if he found out there were some trannies and he stomped off feeling betrayed."

"If Tim could finish up on that note, we'd know," she pointed out.

"He's good but he's doing it as fast as he can," Gibbs pointed out.  "He's not God either."

"I know, but it seems like the computers should work faster than this."

"It does."  He got back to work compiling his reports to be filed.  It was definitely a suicide, they just had to figure out why.


Danny walked into work the next morning and Mac's coffee cup fell out of his hand.  "Danny," he said, blinking at him.  "Wow."

"Thanks, Mac.  Means a lot," he teased.  "You guys happier?"  Someone moaned and a shadow moved off.  He smirked at Adam, their DNA tech, who drooled.  "Now you know why I wear it on dates."  He looked at Mac.  "Am I in the field?"

"On as a last resort, working on your own."

"Has anyone told Lindsey she's supposed to be in Florida?"  Mac moaned and nodded.  "What did she say?"

"She transferred back."

"Oh.  Interesting."  He walked off, heading for the locker room.  Don walked in a few minutes later, pausing to look at him.  "That's why I wear it on dates," he quipped.

"Is that your 'I'm getting some tonight' shirt?" he asked, going to his own locker to put up his jacket.

"No, that's my purple or blue. This is the one I wear when I want to make a good impression."  He grinned and closed his locker, then reopened it and pulled out his gun and badge. "Can't forget that."  He headed back out, going to work in the lab.

Don moaned as he sat down on the bench, sending that picture to Tony and Speed.  He got a 'hold on, that's Danny' back and sent a 'yup' in return.  Then he changed his shirt to the one he was supposed to wear, and his tie as well, coming out in it.  The one they knew was a member paused to look at him. "Danny was wrong, it was in my locker. I couldn't walk in shirtless."

He smiled at him. "Thank you, Don.  You've made us very happy.  Plus, your Protector is very lucky."  He walked off, after taking a picture with is camera phone.  He included the text message of what had happened, getting mass cheers as it was spread around.  His one of Danny when he had walked in was now getting considered for inclusion in the hymnal and prayer book.  "May the Protector serve his Master well," he prayed.  "May he make him happy as he pleases him."  Sheldon gave him an odd look.  "The Protector has done what he promised."

"Got a picture?"  The picture of them both were shown.  "He does look good in that black shirt.  Thank you.  They're happy?"

"We're very content today.  The information we gave was enough?"

"As far as I know.  You might ask Don to make sure.  At the very least it'd give someone the opportunity to investigate them."  He nodded and walked on.  "Nice suit," he called, smiling at him.  "Very Flack-like."  He got a shy smile and the worshiper walked on, going back to work.

"It's a copy of my blue one," Flack said as he walked over.  "It is a nice suit."  He grinned at him. "Danny's wearing his 'stun 'em stupid' shirt instead of his 'getting lucky' shirt."

"Stella said she's seen the silver one."  He went to look for himself.

Stella walked in after him. "Okay, jacket off, Danny."  He sighed and took his jacket off, making her blink. The silk did sinful things against his pecs.  She looked at him again, noticing how the black brought out the lighter blond highlights in his hair and the deeper tones in his eyes.  "Wanna go out tonight?"

"We'll see what I'm up to then," he said with a smug little grin.  "You, me, and Flack?"

She nodded quickly. "Works for me."  She ran a hand over the short sleeve.  "That's good silk, thin but good quality."

"Should be for what I paid for it way back when."  She blinked.  "Yeah, it's more of the found stuff from my former wardrobe."  She moaned and walked off.  "Sorry!" he called.  He looked at Sheldon, who walked out muttering.  "To you too, sorry!"  He put back on his lab coat and got back to work, weathering the 'I want pictures' from Tony.  He sent back it was the same old black silk shirt Tony had helped him buy back after graduation.  Tony moaned and went to have some alone-time in the bathroom at work.


Speed looked at Eric since they were outside.  "I'm going to kill the others of us."

"Why? How are you hearing them?"

"Long story," he admitted.  His phone beeped and he got the picture of both of them.  He smirked and waved Eric over. "That's Don in case you didn't remember.  That's Danny," he said, flipping it.

"Whoa.  I need one of those."

"Ask Tony.  He found Danny that one, a silver one, and a purple one."

Eric whimpered. "When is he coming back?"

"Soon.  This weekend is all off time for him."  Eric beamed at that.  "You can ask but don't nag. He hasn't gotten a vacation recently."

"Sure.  Think he'd help me?"

"Don's cult wants him to take Don. I don't see why he wouldn't."  Ryan came over and looked at the picture, so he showed him both of them.  "The darker one is Don Flack."

"I can see why he's got a cult.  Those eyes are very showing."  He looked at the other one.  "I take it that's Danny?"  Speed and Eric both nodded.  "Wow.  I'm straight but I'd date him."  He walked inside, going to check in for the day.  "No Horatio yet?" he called.

"He'll be back soon," Speed offered. He called Tony, who promised he was already on his way back and had probably stopped to change.  "He spent last night on Tony's couch since the drug contact was in DC.  A senator."

"That's going to get messy."

"No, that's why he went to talk to Gibbs' boss.  She's got political capitol at the moment."  Horatio's hummer pulled up a few minutes later and he looked at him.  "You look like Tony dressed you."

"He did dress me."  He grimaced at them.  "Is everyone in?"

"But us.  Ryan just got in."  They followed him inside. "I checked on the smugglers.  They're still here."  They got into the elevator.  "It worked, they quit babbling," he offered quietly.  Horatio just nodded.  "Anything I should know?"

"Alex and Draco are coming to town for a few days to check on Rosenburg and so Draco can get a tan."

"Wonderful," Eric agreed.  "Have I met them?"

"Not Draco yet, but you've met Alex.  Xander."  Eric grinned at that.  "Him and his very blond little husband."  They walked off to Eric laughing.  "Who can be a drama queen if the mood strikes him right.  Fair warning."  They signed in and went to their lockers, then their labs.  Horatio went to have his smugglers pulled into an interrogation room, where he made them cry, hard.

The End. 

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