Fixing His Heir.
Jett was summoned to Olympus, bowing to the person sitting in front of
where he landed. He wiped some of the soap off his chest.
"You couldn't wait ten minutes?"
"No." Ares frowned at him and waved a hand, sending water over
him so he could finish rinsing off from his shower. "I've got a
very serious job for you, Jett."
"All right then," he agreed with a smirk. "That's a good
reason. Who is it?"
"One of my sons, the lost one, was just found and he's got some
training. He's got some very decent training but the people he
works with don't know that yet." Jett raised an
eyebrow. "He does, but he's as good as Joxer ever was at hiding
it. As a matter of fact, he's a lot like Joxer."
"You want him dead?"
"No, I want you to finish his training."
"Because he lives on the Hellmouth, Jett. He's working with the
Slayer there." Jett shuddered. "Exactly. He's the
power and strength behind her duty. There will be
complications. Namely his girlfriend, who only loves him more
now. Anya can see *exactly* what's in it for her if she stays
"Has he manifested?" Jett asked, crossing his arms over his chest and
canting his weight off to one side.
"He has, and he's done it while hunting. He can do offensive
things; he can also be offensive when he feels the urge to snark and be
mean," he said dryly. "I'm trusting you to make sure he survives
and comes up here. You can tempt him, train him, get with him if
you want, but he is to come up here eventually. There's bad
things coming and I don't want him to be suffering."
"Done. Where is he? Which hellmouth?"
"Sunnydale." Jett shuddered. "Exactly. He was hidden
there with things blocking him. They were tied to the Master when
he was alive. His slayer killed the Master and things started to
happen around him. Cupid found him of all people." He
smiled. "Cupid went down to see why this one mortal was giving
him headaches from being so fucked up in his area. The boy was a
disaster. Demons, vampires, a botched love spell," he let out a
groan as he shifted. "Cupid had to step in and cut most of the
love lines in the boy's body to free him from some of the tangled crap
that happened when they tied his coverings to the Master. So now
he's attracted to humans but some of the taint remains. Anya's a
*former* demon," he sighed. Jett let out a small moan and shook
his head. "Exactly," he said smugly. "So not only are you
guarding him from them, because every vampire down there still wants
him, but you'll be finishing his training. He's got a very good
start on it, Jett. I'm not going to lie though, he won't trust
you for a few days. He's very like Joxer."
"Fine, I can handle that. Send me back and I'll travel tonight."
"Why were you in a shelter?"
"I was only passing through and so was my last target," he said with a
shrug. Ares put him back in his room. Jett got dressed and
went to pick up his other things from the bathroom, only finding the
dagger he had brought gone. He called it to his hand and tucked
it back into his boot, then grabbed his bag and left. "Thank you
for your hospitality," he said quietly as he walked past the social
worker at the door. He looked up and smirked, then started to
walk to the garage where he had left his bike. They were so much
nicer than horses, who balked at the smell of blood. He
found it unmolested and took off the security system, attaching his bag
to the back before straddling it and kicking it to life. He
roared out of the garage, heading down the coast. Cascade had
been fun, but boring. There wasn't anything fun here to be
done. He sped up as he hit the interstate, hoping he had the time
to get there the mortal way and that Ares wouldn't try to kill him for
daring to ride down.
//No, that's fine, Jett, they're in a lull,// Ares' voice said in his
head. //Don't procrastinate too long. He'll be in LA in three
days at a club if you can meet him there. Club Inferno.//
"That's a demon bar," he muttered.
//Exactly.// Ares let out a chuckle as Jett sped up. //Travel safely,
Jett. Dying would take time away from your trip.// His voice
disappeared, leaving a small ache and a warm spot in his head.
Jett shook it off and wove around some of the slower traffic.
This just sucked but he couldn't say anything. That boy of anyone
should not be in a demon club. Especially one that had a
'dangerous people only' clause to get in.
Jett walked up to the door of the club and the vampire sneered at him
so he pinned him to the wall with a dagger. "Where is the boy?"
"He's inside," he gasped. "Go in, sir."
"Jett," he corrected.
"Jett," he said, a touch of awe in his gasp. "You belong
here. The same as he does."
"Thanks. He's my protégé." He unstuck his
long knife from the vampire's lung and walked over the velvet rope to
get inside. The music was loud and the club was dancing.
Wonderful. Really. He glanced around, searching for the
human boy. He couldn't see him so he searched for the largest
group of vampires, figuring they'd know which one he was. That's
when he found the boy, he was dancing among them. He shook his
head but walked over, making his way through the crowd. The music
was infectious. He figured that the siren doing the DJ-ing was
projecting some. He even found himself dancing. He caught
the boy's eye as he got closer, making him smile and move to dance with
him. After a few minutes he nodded. "Want a drink?" he
called over the noise. The boy shook his head. "I wanna
talk to you, Xander. Ares sent me." Xander blinked and
walked off after him, leading him to the bar to get a drink. The
boy went for a soda but Jett needed a real drink so he went for a
scotch. They picked a quiet back corner table and shooed the
lesbian vampires out of it, inhabiting it. "I'm Jett."
"Okay, and that's supposed to mean something?" Xander asked. "Why
did Ares send you?"
"To finish your training."
"You're one of his?"
"In a way. I'm a personal annoyance eliminator."
Xander rolled that phrase through his head. "You're an assassin?"
he asked finally. Jett nodded with a smirk as he finished his
drink. "But I don't need that in Sunnydale."
"No, but you need some of the skills and I am a competent teacher,
Xander," he said patiently. "Are you hunting on your own?"
"I try not to," he admitted. "Unless I'm feeling really odd or
jumpy. No one knows when I do."
"I'd figure as much." Jett punched him on the arm. "Don't
worry, in six months we should have you up to fighting speed demons at
my level. As long as what Ares said was true."
"I can fight, but sometimes I don't know what I'm doing."
"That's instinctual knowledge. I'd expect that," Jett agreed,
taking another drink. "Drink, you look like you could use the
fluid." He looked over as some vampires shimmied their way toward
them. "You want them?"
"Fine." Jett kissed him, making the vampires pout and move off to
find a new target for their fun. He pulled back, noticing the
stunned look. "It worked," he noted dryly. "Didn't mean
anything if you don't want it to, kid."
"Thanks. I think." He gulped his soda. "So, what else
were you going to teach me? By the way, don't let my girlfriend
hear about it or she'll return to her job and we'll both be sorry."
"She can't touch you, Xander. She knows this. She came to
you because she saw the protector in your aura." He smirked at
him. "You're well built. Construction?" Xander
nodded. "I bet that's handy when you're building weapons."
"I build houses."
"Then who does her weapons for her?"
"She buys off the rack," he said dryly, giving Jett a long look.
"Surely you know where you can find crossbows."
"Yeah, many of them. I'm guessing the Watcher has them?"
Xander nodded. "That's fine, the Watchers probably have a storehouse of
them." He finished his drink. "Did you want to go back out
"No, I'm tired of being nipped." He rubbed across a shallow bite
mark on his thigh. "They're rabid tonight. They haven't
been this bad since the guy with wings that no one else could see
showed up and did something to my insides that made me quit liking
Buffy and quit making Dru pant after me." He sipped his coke
again. "You can get another, as long as someone's driving you."
"That would be kinda hard, I rode my bike down." Jett
smirked. "Two drinks isn't going to impair me, kid. I've been
drinking now for many years." He got up to get a second one and
came back to stake the vampire trying to get into Xander's pants.
He brushed off the seat and sat down again, giving him a long
look. "Having fun?"
"She offered and it'd be cheap. Anya won't."
"She won't blow you?"
"Nope. Says it's not her thing." He shrugged. "I get along
without it." He sipped his soda and smiled at one of the vampires
walking past. "Can you tell the bartender to send another soda my
way since you're between us?" he called. The vampire sneered but
Xander was soon given six or seven sodas by willing vampires.
"Thanks," he said with a grin. "This is my new trainer."
Jett waved and they backed off and ran away, all but one who cuddled
into his side and nuzzled his neck. "Just a taste. I'm
addictive," he allowed. She nipped him on the ear, then swooned
and wandered off in a daze. "Is that because of who my parents
are?" Xander asked Jett once he had wiped the spit off his ear.
Jett blinked a few times. "I have no idea," he admitted. "I'll
ask him later." He gulped his latest drink, then picked up one of
the extra sodas. "They do that often?"
"Anytime I'm in a happy, carefree, dancing mood, yeah. If I'm on
a hunt it's like I draw them for a completely different reason."
"Wonderful," Jett said dryly. "I'm sure that'll be fun." He
sipped the soda, looking the boy over. "You need better clothes."
"If I wear leather I look like a vamp."
"Maybe, but it's protective as well. It can be light armor."
"Only if you get really thick and stiff leather, which then makes me
walk like I'm a mummy," Xander said dryly. "I tried a pair of
those on once."
"Fine, we'll work it out," Jett decided. "Gotta tell ya though,
the whole family wears leather."
"Then I will when I'm not on the hunt."
"Fine." Jett sipped the soda, looking around. "They're
Xander leaned back against the wall and lifted one foot up onto the
seat, letting the other dangle, but getting very comfortable.
"I'm like a buffet of your favorite treats to them, Jett. Of
course they're staring."
"Then why did you come here?"
"I got offered three hundred bucks to come party. Each time I
come in here, the population goes up and the owner makes a nice
profit." He grinned and sipped his drink. "The first was
pretty odd, but then again I managed not to stake them when they
basically slithered around me and begged. The next time I
desperately needed a party night off and I took it. I came
back. Vamps came from all around the city, even some following me
from Sunnydale. Or so I heard from Buffy and Willow. They
apparently had a very easy night that night." He looked over,
then smirked. "It's my occasional roomie."
"Which one?" Jett looked, noticing the blond staring at them.
"Yeah. He's more or less harmless at the moment. C'mere,
Spike," he called, waving him over. The vampire walked over,
looking at them. "This is Jett, he's going to be working on my
"'Bout time you admitted you could do some stuff," Spike said
gruffly. He stared at Jett. "I know you."
"I know you too, idiot. You nearly staked me twice."
"Thought you were a vamp. You dress like one," Spike said with a shrug,
not sorry in the least. "Woulda been fun I bet," he added with a
smirk for the assassin. "Who're you really?"
"Head of personal problem eliminations for Ares."
"Hmm, interesting. We'll be watching, or at least I
will. None'a the others like to watch the chit." He walked
off, going to get a drink and inhabit a corner of the bar.
"That was odd," Xander decided, staring at Spike's back. "He's
pouting," he decided, shaking his head to look at Jett. "I get
forced cohabitation with him sometimes."
"Interesting. You okay with that?"
"No, but Giles has a sex life and his visitors come from very far away."
"Oh. Okay then." Jett took another drink and took another
of the sodas for himself. "This is a cushy job."
"Yeah, but I can't do it every night. I only do it every two
weeks, that way I can afford to stay in town."
"What did the cash the guy gave you go to?"
Jett blinked a few times. "Huh?"
"Your girlfriend took it?"
"No, she wanted something."
"She's a whore?"
Xander hesitated. "She doesn't know any better."
"You can't train her better?" Xander shook his head. "Do you love
her?" Xander nodded, grinning at him. "You're fucked up."
"Slightly," Xander agreed happily. "Then again, look where I
lived my *entire* life."
"Good point," Jett decided, taking another drink. "We'll help you fix
that as well. Before you go broke."
"Can't I manifest things for her?"
"Only small things. Doing jewelry takes a lot of imagination and
concentration. I can't do it."
"Are you a God?" Jett nodded. "Over?"
"Personal problem elimination."
"Oh. Okay then," he said with a grin. "We should probably
leave. They're massing to jump us and will demand that I give in
and be turned by someone."
"Sure, let's go." He finished his soda and walked the boy out,
staying between him and the vampires. He sneered at the door
guard. "We're going."
"That's fine. Remember the non-violence policy the next time
"You can't tell me one vampire will make a difference in this city."
"Unless it's Angel," Xander corrected. The door guard shuddered.
"Hey, I used to work with Angel. He was in Sunnydale too."
He led Jett on, letting him go to his bike. "Where are you
staying tonight? I can get somewhere nearby."
"I'm in the Traveler's Motel. It's cheap, scummy, and no one asks any
"Fine, that's about what I can afford," Xander agreed. He pointed
at his car. "I'll follow you." Jett nodded, going to his bike
while Xander found his keys and got in to drive. He followed the
interesting God out of the parking lot, heading after him to a cheap,
rundown motel in a semi-bad part of town. He got out and went
into the office, getting a room, then parked his car in front of
it. He got out, looking around for the bike. "Where did he
Jett came around the side of the building. "I parked around back,
kid. I'm like that. Which one are you in?" Xander pointed behind
him. "Fine. Got a bag?" Xander shook his head,
heading inside but leaving the door open enough for him to
follow. Xander had stripped off his shirts and taken off his
shoes by the time Jett had walked in. "Feel better?"
"Much. Too many clothes." He flipped on the air conditioner
to cover anything they said from eavesdroppers. "So, why are you
really here, Jett?"
"To finish your training. Ares said so. He said there's
some big shit coming your way and you had to be better trained.
He said something about not losing you again too but that was a
momentary lapse into mushiness. Only happens once a century or
so." He sat down in the old chair, looking the boy over.
"You've obviously started to work out."
"I work construction, Jett. I don't need a gym." He flexed
an arm muscle, looking at it. "They could be more defined but I
don't want to look like a bodybuilder." He caught a hint of Jett
lunging up to get him and turned, then helped him onto the ground, but
the other man had caught him around the waist, trapping him.
Xander bit him, making him howl. "If you wanted kinky sex, you
should have picked up a vampire," he said dryly, getting free of him.
He stood there, looking down at him. "Are you sure you want to
"It's an assignment. Ares will open my ass wide and back an
elephant up into it if I fail and you die."
"Interesting mental image," Xander said, shaking his head
quickly. He shuddered. "Eww."
"Sorry, kid." Jett got up. "It was just a test."
"Fine. I got that part. That's why I bit you." He
wiped the drool off his shirt. "Sorry, I'm a bit hungry," he said
with a grin.
Jett shook his head. "You're a goofy guy, Xander. You are a
lot like Joxer. We can work on that too."
"I like telling jokes, it makes me happy," Xander pointed out.
"Fine. It's probably a defense mechanism anyway." He
shrugged and sat down again. "Get comfy. It's going to be a
long night while I test you about what you can and have
done." Xander stretched out on one of the beds. "Not
that way, kid. I wouldn't care but you couldn't handle me."
"I'm not offering, Jett. I'm dating a former vengeance
demon. We'd both be very sorry in the morning."
"True," Jett agreed slowly. "Why?"
"She picked me to teach and protect her."
Jett shuddered. "You need better girlfriends. Did Cupid sanction
"He hasn't reappeared and he hasn't shown up to smite her for giving
him a headache yet. I'm supposing he likes the woman since she's
got more energy than most batteries and is more than willing to use
them six or seven times a day."
"Then maybe she should dedicate herself to Cupid and move on," he said
grimly. He looked up. "Cupid?" Cupid appeared, his wings
fluttering slightly. "Do you have any beef with Xander here and
"I like Anya, she's recharged me many a day," he said dryly.
"Told ya so," Xander said smugly. "Hi again. You do know
I'm thinking about proposing to her, right?"
"Nope, didn't know that, and Pops would have to agree to it," Cupid
told him. "It's that way among the family." He shrugged.
"Consider him like a Godfather." He looked at Jett again.
"Pops sent you?" Jett nodded, looking smug. "Fine, then
I'll warn you of this. Anya will not like you moving into her
territory. Xander is her snuggly and protector."
"I'm going to be teaching him how to protect her better," Jett pointed
"Yeah, but you constitute a distraction from his time with her.
She won't like it."
"You could always take her," Jett offered.
"Dude, I like sex as much, if not more, than the next person, but I
can't keep up with her," Cupid complained. Xander chuckled.
"That's how we knew you had manifested, Xander, you didn't die after a
few of those marathon bouts and kept going."
"Even I eventually got tired," he reminded him smugly.
"Thankfully she hasn't had another of those weekends planned
recently. She wasn't happy about me coming in tonight
either. Did she know about Ares sending him?"
"Nope. There's no way she could have. Anyway, want me to
drop the word in her ear that he's being trained?"
"Please," Jett agreed. "I'll work on him tonight and
tomorrow." They shared a mental conversation, Jett telling him
what he had learned about this woman and Cupid telling him the
rest. Xander was entitled to a Godly credit card but they
couldn't do that with Anya being such a money-grubbing woman. So
they'd have to wait. Cupid grinned at Xander, then
disappeared. "So," Jett said finally. "You're thinking
about marrying her?"
Xander nodded. "I am. I can stand her, she puts up with
most of my stuff. We're living together at the moment."
"I see." Jett nodded. "That'll definitely make her whine when
you're too tired to please her after a few training sessions.
I'll be getting a place in town so you can stay there if you need
to." He put his feet up on the edge of the bed. "You tired?"
"Not really. I'm more energized by the people I was dancing with."
"Really?" Jett asked, sending a quiet query to Ares about the boy's
Godhood. He didn't get an answer. "What did they name you
"Nothing yet." Xander waved a hand. "They said that they
can't do that, the proper people haven't announced what it was yet."
"Hmm. It's interesting that sex and vampires dancing would
*energize* you," Jett said thoughtfully. "Maybe you'll take
Bacchus' place." He shook his head. "That's a bad
"Maybe they'll break it up. I don't want to be over
vampires, I'd feel odd after killing some of them," Xander explained at
the odd look he received.
"Maybe," Jett agreed calmly. "For now, let's get back to what you
know how to do properly."
"Yes, sir," he sighed, shifting some to roll onto his side.
"Xander," Anya called as the door opened. She looked up and
smiled at the man standing there. "Who're you? You're
Godly, I can tell that much."
"I'm the God of Annoyances," Joxer said smugly. "I'm here to
check up on Xander."
"Why?" She put the pot she had been using off to one side.
"Why are you here really?"
"To check up on Xander." He smirked at her. "That's part of
my job. One of us is training him, one of us checks up on him,
and the other one will be here to annoy you to no end, but that's
Jace." His smirk grew a bit more smug. "How do you feel about
drag queens anyway?"
"Am I going to become one or become related to one?"
"Well, yeah, if you and Xander stay together." He moved over to
hug her. "Then we can do all sorts of bonding stuff!" he
cooed. "We can sharpen weapons together and write Xander a
theme song, and we can even go shopping for his own armor!"
Anya looked at him. "Do you hate me?" she asked blandly.
"Nooo, I *love* you, you're a neat daughter-in-law," he said with a
grin. "So much better than most of the stepkids or their
spouses. You're one of mine you know."
"Wonderful. I'd rather be Bacchus' again."
"Sorry, can't grant that one. He's kinda dead. I was
playing a lyre to distract him when he died." He sat down,
staring at her. "So, what sort of music should we put his theme
"Every hero needs one," he said patiently.
"Xander's not a hero," she said impatiently. "Buffy is a
hero. Xander is a zeppo. Just ask him."
Joxer gave her a long look. "You have not a clue who you're
sleeping with, Anyanka. Not. A. Clue." He
smirked at her again. "Xander is a hero in many ways and
many times. You have no idea what you've stepped in, but I'd pray
*really* hard to Ares. He's kinda...possessive about his
sons. He hates it when people diss 'em. Except Jace, he
gets away with it because he gives Ares headaches." He grinned
again. "Don't worry, I'm sure you and Jett will get along *just*
fine," he offered.
"Jett?" she asked flatly. "God of Assassins?" He nodded,
still grinning a sappy grin. "Why is *he* training my Xander?"
"Because Ares said so," he pointed out. "Another very good reason
to pray to Ares to give you knowledge of your true mate. Before
he gets...upset." He disappeared, and his grin fell to the floor,
shattering into a bunch of white and pink pieces.
Anya looked up. "Why me? Can't I have Xander without those
"No!" a booming voice called, but no one appeared.
"Fine," she said meekly. "Sorry. Doesn't he need his lips
to suck up to Ares and to kiss his butt?" She found the broom and
the dustpan, cleaning up the mess the God of Annoyances had made.
She went back to fixing dinner, pushing that out of her mind.
She'd consider it a hallucination. The Gods weren't going to
Xander smiled at Jett as he woke up. "Hi."
"Good morning," he greeted. "Sore after last night?"
"No, it's been a nice night. Dancing doesn't make me sore, unless
"You stripped? You?" he asked, looking the boy over.
"You're cute, but not the sort I could picture shaking it for bucks."
Xander smirked and shrugged. "You do what you have to do to make
"Uh-huh," Jett agreed slowly. "I still can't see you shaking it
for dollars and pleading for drink sales."
"No, I got some mild tips. Nothing too great. Nothing to
brag on, just some minor tips."
"You didn't work in a demon club, did you?" he asked dryly. "You
would have made top tips there, kid. Since all of them *love*
your ass so much." He grinned at the boy. "That's one way
to earn a down payment on a house."
"Would that matter in my training?"
"Having a house? It's usually more private and you could easily
change a room into a gym for training purposes."
"Not that," Xander groaned. "Them liking me so much."
"Only if that's your area." Jett looked up. "Yo, annoying
sperm sharer! Got any idea of his area yet?" he called.
Jace appeared in a flash of gold glitter, hands on his hips. "I
should paddle you for that, but you'd probably like it," he
sneered. "No, no one has any idea of his area."
"They might want to check under Bacchus. The boy makes vampires
pant and wiggle like bitches in heat. Or like you when you find a
Jace slapped at him, just a gentle swat really. "I hate
you." He stuck his nose in the air, sneering at Xander.
"What are you looking at?" he demanded in his most queenly voice.
"Something more interesting than any soap opera on tv these days?" he
suggested dryly, smirking at him. "Hi, I'm Xander." He held
out a hand. "Jett got assigned to teach me."
"I know," Jace said smugly. "Everyone does." He looked at
Xander's hand. "You need a manicure and some lotion." He
manifested a bottle. "Here, use this. 'Dite makes it for me
specially," he said before disappearing.
"Sibling?" Xander asked dryly. He sniffed the lotion, then put it
aside. "A bit stronger than my Jergins at home."
"Yeah, it is," Jett agreed. "We're triplets.
Unfortunately." He heard a thought and grinned. "Oh, and
Anya got to meet Joxer last night. He's working with her on your
"I get a theme song? Why?"
"Because Joxer's like that," he said wisely. "Just hope you have
more talent than he does for singing your theme song. Joxer drove
all of Olympus mad with the 215 extended verses he sang
for...six...days...straight. Ares nearly killed him but Cupid
locked him in a leather mask and shortie shorts for sixty years,
forcing him to do nothing but watch the orgies going on below
him. Ares decided that was punishment enough once he quit howling
in pain at the moon and regained his normal senses."
"Poor dad," Xander sighed. "No one should have to go
insane. You should enjoy it if you are, as long as you've got a
good version of insanity instead of paranoia, but even then you've got
to get some kick out of it I guess. Or maybe not, that could be
why they don the tinfoil hats."
"Ares went to Thor and asked him to bash the singing out of his head."
"Interesting. Is Thor a big, buff, blond like they show in the
"Yeah, and he wears a pointy hat with horns. Mostly to sleep with
women. Or while he sleeps with them. He's a bit kinky that
"Does he make them wear fur bikinis?"
"No, he prefers them naked and lying on furs, but tied down like
frightened sacrifices to his manliness. The man's got a twelve
inch tool but he's insecure about it. Then again, I've heard Jace
say that once Thor gets there, no one else will ever get a tight
hole." He shrugged. "I never tested that theory. All
I know is that the former virgins mope for weeks. He's even
driven one to suicide by not going back to do her again. He only likes
"He's got to be short on sex then," Xander said with a smirk.
"They're in short supply these days. If aliens came down and said
that our continued existence would take an offering of a thousand
virgins, you couldn't pull that many out of this planet who're over
"Not totally true. Some people do wait," Jett assured him.
"Then again, they'd probably never get a guy."
"Yeah, I doubt it." He grinned at Jett. "Do you really
think I'm under Bacchus?"
"Possibly. You're the one who's bouncy after dancing and turning
on vampires. Can you tell when they're rising to salute you?"
"Well, kinda," Xander admitted, blushing a bit. "Not just
physically but I know when people want me. It's a nice feeling."
"It is," Jett agreed. "I can only tell when they're dead."
"I guess that's handy in your line of work," Xander offered.
"It is, but it's not as exciting as knowing when someone will beg to
blow you in front of a crowd."
"Only a few got that bad," he protested.
"I'm sure you'll get more next time," he said sarcastically.
"Maybe," Xander agreed with a grin. "Hopefully they won't
pinch me next time."
"Yeah, maybe they'll go back to nipping."
"You know, I could set myself up as a dealer and make a ton from the
vampires," Xander joked.
"Your father would kill you," Jett said blandly, crossing his feet
after putting them onto the end of the bed again. "We'd never
hear the end of it."
The dark, deep disembodied voice came back. "No playing with
vampires. No teasing vampires. No sleeping with
vampires. No giving blood to vampires. No making them
perform sexual acts in front of others while teasing vampires. No
Someone pounded on the door. "How many people you got in there!"
someone yelled. "You didn't pay for an orgy!"
Xander got up and opened the door with a bright grin. "I'm having
a religious experience and conversing with my God. Did you hear
him too? You can join our cult if you want," he offered with a
wink. "We could use a special guy like you at our training.
Of course, the high priests get first pick of the lower levels
to...serve them...." The manager walked off in a huff. "If
you're sure, but the offer stands whenever you're ready to join us in
the study of pleasure in the service of our God." The manager
flipped him off so he giggled and closed the door. "I like doing
Jett patted him on the back as the boy walked past him. "Too bad
we've got a God of torture. That was pretty decent for an
The deep voice coughed. "No taunting the mortals or exposing
yourself to them," he ordered.
"Does that mean I can't have sex outside the family? I gotta
admit it, pops, I don't believe in incest. That's just kinda
icky." He flopped onto his back on the bed, smirking at
Jett. "Sorry, man, I like you a lot, but you're family and that's
"Not among us," Jett said with a shrug. "Besides, I only like
people under me, kid. We can deal with that issue when I have you
sweaty and on your back, begging for mercy."
Another cough. "Play later, train now. Training before
"Jeez, Ares, uptight much?" Xander called. "I can train and have
pleasure. That's why I have an Anya. She *loves* pleasuring
me to exhaustion after a long, hard day of being sweaty and manly."
Ares appeared, glaring at his son. "You're going to be too tired
for sex, son. You need to train starting immediately.
That's why I sent Jett to you," he said impatiently. "You need to
train very hard and fast. Now, have one last day free and one
last night of teasing, then go home and train your ass off.
Before I have to step in again." He glared at Jett then
disappeared in a flash of light. "Get him decent clothes too,
Jett. I'm tired of those shirts."
Jett crossed his feet in the other direction. "Which mall did you
want to hit, Xander?"
"I don't have the money for a new wardrobe."
"And? We do." He pulled out his Olympian Card with a smug
look. "Never leave your temple without it."
"Wow. Who gives those out?"
"Hera. Ares said you could have one, but not while you're with
Anya. Ares said he couldn't pay off that debt. It would be
worse than the gross national product of a small country, like France."
Xander batted his lashes. "So you're going to make me pretty for
you and big, dark, and studly?"
"No, if you were mine, you'd be wearing nothing but a pair of soft
leather cuffs and a blindfold. For now, we can get you jeans and
things." He stood up. "Let me go shower. You take one
"I did before you got up." Xander stood up and put back on half
of his shirts. "There, I'm ready."
Jett looked the boy over, shaking his head. "First stop will be
an underwear store. I can't believe you were dancing with
vampires without any on."
"I'm impressed no one tried to bite me through them this time."
Jett shook his head. "Give me twenty minutes to get
pretty." He walked out, going back to his own room to shower and
Anya looked up as Xander walked in with seven large bags, staring at
him. "You bought me stuff?"
"No, Jett said I needed stuff," he countered. "He said I dress
nearly as bad as Joxer, who only wears really ugly plaid according to
him. He called it his Braveheart obsession." He walked into the
bedroom to put things away. "Sorry, Anya, but he wouldn't let me
buy you anything."
"Poo." She walked in there, cuddling him from behind as he pulled
out all manner of clothes. "He bought you black underwear?"
"He said they go better under black jeans in case they get ripped," he
said with a small shrug. "We all know I'm not that picky."
"True, you have some very uninspiring undies, Xander." She licked
the back of his neck, smiling as she felt him shiver. "Did you
"I did, but I've got to work at dawn tomorrow," he reminded her.
"We can't go all night tonight, Anya." He folded the remaining
clothes, then got free to put them in his drawers. "Sorry."
"Will you at least give me pleasure?"
"Sure," he agreed with a happy grin. "You missed it, we went to a
different bar than usual and some of the vamps *begged* to have me," he
said happily. "Jett thinks I'm somewhere under Bacchus."
"Then I'm happy for you. Did you touch him?"
"Jett? No!" he snorted. "Only to defend myself while he was
testing me. He's *family*, Anya. That's gross." He
went to the kitchen to get a drink. "Besides, you know I'm not
cheating on you with him. He's teaching me to do it better."
"That one seemed to think you're some sort of hero. Is there
something you're not telling me?"
"No," he said patiently. "I'm the youngest son of Ares,
Anya. I have to be trained. It's an obligation of the
family line. Sorta like wearing leather apparently." He
shrugged. "I don't like leather but Jett kept looking at some
jackets and saying how I'd probably end up with one some day.
Maybe as a graduation present from my training." He looked over
as someone appeared. "Hey, Jace. Back to torment me?"
"No," he scoffed, looking him over, shaking his head. "You need
an entire makeover," he announced.
"Jett just bought me clothes."
Jace snorted, rolling his eyes in best theatric fashion. "I'm
sure it's all very *practical*," he sneered, "but that is not what you
need. You have a fabulous body and you should be showing it
off." He looked the boy over again. "Then again, you could
use some work in the gym to add definition."
"I'm fine the way I am," Xander said firmly. "I like the way I
am. I don't want to look like some steroid-driven, muscle
boy. I like being built the way I am. I'm more than strong
enough to do my construction. I'm good enough to fight like
this. I'm not changing." He looked at Jace. "Do you
have problems when you go to straight people places wearing gold velvet
pants and a maroon silk shirt?" Jace sighed and looked up,
silently asking for patience. "By the way, aren't sandals *out*
"I'll fix you yet," Jace warned.
"Yup, sure you will. Right after I get a personality transplant
and I suddenly become a flaming queen, I'll come to you for fashion
advice, Jace. Until then, I'm learning how to fight. I
can't do that in silk, velvet, or lace - and I do look sucky in lace by
the way. I *like* my looks for the first time in years. Get
Jace sighed. "Fine. But I will still help your wardrobe
some. All black is not good for you. You need colors to
make your skin glow and your body be shown the best way you can.
If you wear all black, you look like a vampire. If you wear
"I look like one of Angelus' kin," Xander interrupted. "I
can dress myself. I still can't fight in silk."
"Fine. Then we'll work on boring, *practical* clothes," he
decided. "You can still wear something more fashionable while
"One outfit," Xander warned. "Only one."
"Fine," he agreed, waving a hand. He handed over the pile of
clothes with a smile. "Try those on."
Xander looked at the clothes, then at him. "Turquoise?"
"It's a blue, you look good in blues," Jace assured him. "Go try
it on." He made shooing motions. "I don't expect you want
me to watch you change clothes since you're clearly not wearing
"I am so!" he complained, but he went to try on the dark blue pants and
turquoise shirt. They did fit, a bit snug but they fit.
They were comfortable. He could move in them. He stretched
to make sure of it. He opened the bathroom door, leaning in the
"I don't like that shirt," Anya told him. "It's too bright."
"It looks like something you would buy him," Jace said, looking him
over. He frowned and tapped his fingers on his hips, waving a
hand at the shirt to darken it. "There, how's that?"
"Better," Anya agreed. "Are those comfortable?"
"Very. Surprisingly so."
"They're stretch jeans," Jace said patiently. "Jace always knows
what to dress you in, dear one. After all, I got Apollo to quit
wearing a gold thong in public or around mortals." He pulled the
boy out to walk around him. "They do fit very well on your
butt. The shirt needs to be a darker color," he decided,
darkening it to a royal blue. He traded the bare feet for top of the
line sneakers. Jett had probably gotten him boots, he was like
that. He pinched Xander's butt, making him jump and spin around,
glare already in place. "Yes, you are Ares' son," he said
sarcastically. He nodded. "Good, and more like that."
He waved a hand, putting ten more outfits on the bed, exactly the same
sort, stretch jeans, plain t-shirt in dark colors. Plus one in
pale blue. He adored the boy in blues. "There. I'll expect
you to take good care of them and to be a good boy, Xander." He
pulled him closer to kiss him, making the boy struggle. Jace
pulled back to smirk at him. "Didn't like it?"
"You're not the sort I like, Jace. I'm much more a top. I like
people under me. Just ask Anya."
"He does like to be on top," she agreed.
"Pity. He'd make a charming toy," Jace said with a wink.
"Yeah, but you're family and that's icky," Xander reminded him
smugly. "Thanks for the clothes though. I do look
hot." Jace sighed and left, leaving him looking at
"I like them," she admitted, tossing the rest of them onto the
floor. "But you did promise to give me orgasms."
"True," he agreed happily, taking off the new outfit to toss into a
chair. He could wear them tomorrow. After he finally woke
Jett looked at Xander's outfit as he came in. "Jace or Joxer?" he
"Jace. He stole a kiss too. Made Anya hot." He tossed
his overshirt on the back of the couch. "Now what?"
"Now, we practice." He waved a hand at the open space.
"There, Xander." Xander moved into the open area, readying
himself. Jett watched him, then leapt at him, trying him again.
Xander faced him off without thought and moved on to fighting
back. Jett tested him in a few different styles, and Xander was
trying very hard. Finally he stepped back. "We'll start
with blocking," he ordered. "You still need some work in
blocking. You've got avoidance down pat."
"It's easier sometimes. Vampires are faster and stronger."
He relaxed and Jett nodded that it was fine.
He moved closer. "Instead of avoiding me, block the hits."
He swung at Xander and the boy ducked, making him groan. "No,
"Sorry, it's an involuntary twitch."
"Okay, fine," Jett agreed. "We've all got that one. You can
learn to ignore it."
"Yeah, but I don't like being hit."
"Which is why you learn how to block and how to fight better."
Jett started on him again, watching as Xander only blocked those he
couldn't duck. He backed the boy up against a wall, forcing him
to block instead of duck and weave for a bit. Xander ducked under
his swing and moved to face his back, giving him a shove.
"Hey!" Jett looked at him. "You've got to block sometime,
"No, I don't usually. I try very hard not to have to," Xander
pointed out. "I fight things that are better, faster, and
stronger than I am. Ducking and dodging is usually safer and
"You still have to learn how to block and how to hit back."
"Calm down. It's what normal people do. No one likes to get
hit, unless they're odd and wrong in some ways." He looked at his
student. "I know you're used to avoiding it but sometimes you
have to hit back." Xander nodded. "What do you usually do
in those situations?"
"Duck and then get them from behind."
Ares appeared, looking at his son. "You hit from behind?"
"Yeah! Hello, been fighting really strong vampires!" He
waved a hand. "Not exactly what most normal people like to lunge
at and hit."
"Fine," Ares agreed. "Let me try, Jett." He sized up his
son, then slowly moved closer, then suddenly reached out. He got
ducked under and Xander came up behind him. "Interesting."
"He can't or won't stand still to block," Jett offered.
"Hmmm." Ares spun and tried it again and Xander did block, but he
ducked under the second blow and the third, then kicked him in the
knee, grinning at him. Ares looked at his son, smirking at
him. "Fine, you're not going to be a warrior the way most
are. Jett, any chance of him training as one of yours?"
"Hell no," he snorted. "I still think he'll be under Bacchus' old
"Hera's being mute on the matter."
Jett groaned. "Hera!" She appeared, scowling at
him. "We're trying to train this one," he said, pointing his
thumb back at Xander, who waved and grinned. "We need to know
what to train him as since he's not exactly a warrior of Ares' and he's
not exactly one of mine. We know he got hyper while dancing with
some vampires and he can read their energy flows in some ways."
"I do not want to be Bacchus! I don't want to be over vamps
unless I can make them all go away. I'm kinda engaged in a war
against their kind ya know." Xander looked around then scrunched
up his face *really* hard, grinning when a stool appeared for him to
sit on. "I'd make you guys one but I'm about to have a
headache. Anya's going to be really pissed at me later."
"That's another thing, the *moron* who tied him to the Master did it
wrong," Jett noted. "He attracts demons and we don't know if it's
part of his gifts or not."
Hera continued to scowl. "Fine. We'll see what area he's
"Let's hope it's something I can do," Xander pleaded. "I'm tired
of being the butt of jokes. So hopefully nothing under, say,
Artemis? Or Hecate? Or even Hades? Though I hear he's
very cool to hang out with and he's got to have a lot of stories."
"It's not that way among us, young man," she assured him. "A god
can't be useful if he's not well versed in his area." She walked
over to him, looking at his energy patterns. She laid a hand over
his right ear, blowing in his face. He shivered and she
smiled. "He's under Athena. Under knowledge."
"I barely graduated high school," Xander pointed out. "Again, not
something I can really do and not embarrass everyone in the universe."
Hera frowned at him. "What were you doing instead?"
She frowned at him. "That's not possible. Has no area of
study ever interested you?"
"Nope," he said immediately, shaking his head. "I hate books."
"Who tied him to the Master?" Ares asked.
"Zeus and Hecate."
"Can I kick their asses?" Xander asked sweetly, grinning at her.
"Possibly. If anyone should, you should," she agreed
lightly. She looked at him again, doing the hand over ear/blowing
in face maneuver. "He still reads as knowledge." She
stepped back. "This is going to cause some problems. I'll
make sure Athena will allow you to go. Give me a few days,
"Thank you, dear." She looked at Ares, giving him a silent
command, then disappeared.
Ares shrugged. "Okay. You've still got to learn how to
defend yourself," he told his son. "It's mandatory that all
children in the family take self-defense lessons. You've got to
do it too. Don't fight with Jett, he knows better than you
do." He disappeared, then came back to look at his outfit.
"Jace?" he suggested, pointing at his pants. Xander nodded.
Ares sighed and rolled his eyes, leaving again.
Jett coughed. "Okay, now that you're the newest problem of the
pantheon, we'll figure it out soon enough. For now, though, we've
got to deal with your refusal to block punches, kid."
"I'm not that young."
"Bullshit. I'm about as many centuries old as you are
years." He waved away the stool, watching as Xander fell onto the
floor. "It's time to start again, no more procrastinating."
He lunged at Xander and the boy rolled away from him, tripping him up
and rolling him on top of him to hold him down. "Having fun?" he
asked, looking up at the boy.
"Loads. You? I had to tell Jace about only being a top."
"If you're sure," he offered. "Now get off."
Xander beamed. "Really? Right here? On top of
you? Wouldn't that be naughty of me?"
Jett groaned, rolling onto his side to dislodge the boy from his
waist. Xander wiggled to get away from him but he easily pinned
him to the floor. "There, that's where you should be."
"But I only top, Jett. I'm not a squishy person who can be ridden
into the bed." He bucked up and got a knee in the way, knocking
Jett off him. "But if you want to play, we can do that.
I've got to go on patrol tonight." He smiled. "Then you can
see what I do." He got free and stood up, dusting himself
off. "Wanna come with?"
"Sure, why not. I haven't slayed since the Middle Ages. The
girls back then were fairly thin. They barely lasted a few months at
times." He grabbed his jacket, watching as the boy grabbed his
overshirt and headed out, happily bouncing along. They ran into
Willow on the way and Xander gave her a hug.
"This is?" she asked.
"Jett, this is Willow. Willow, this is Jett, who is my new
"Trainer? Like at the gym?" she asked dryly. "You're
bringing him with you tonight why?" She grinned at Jett.
"He's cute. Are we maybe making a statement about not having any
more evil woman panting after you?" she teased.
"No," he snorted. "Not even close. Remember, I've got an
Anya." He patted Jett on the arm. "He's not like that
"Sorry, I only like my partners willing and begging," Jett told
She blushed and shook her head. "Tara would be very upset with
me." She looked around. "You know, it's pretty light
tonight. I haven't even seen Spike recently."
"We saw him in LA over the weekend," Xander assured her. "He was
pouting at the same club I was at."
"Oh, so you went to provoke the demons again?" she teased.
"You're very good at that."
"I am, aren't I?" he agreed happily. "Come on, Jett.
There's way too many of them tonight and time's wasting. We're
giving them too much of a headstart to come up." He strolled on,
waving back at Willow. "Tell Tara I'll come by soon."
"Sure, Xander," she called after him. "Buffy's doing the Western
"Cool. Less for us." He jogged off, heading to the first
spot. "If we're really lucky we can get done in time to go hang
out at the Bronze." He led the way into the first cemetery of the
night. "Come out, come out wherever you are," he called.
"I'm tasty and yummy. Very sweet to nibble on." Six
vampires came rushing at him and he grinned at Jett. "Need a
"I've got one," he admitted, pulling his out. "You?" Xander
pulled one from his pocket and they attacked the vampires. Jett
let him handle most of them, watching his technique. The boy had
some style and some abilities, but he could definitely use some
improvement in many areas. It did give him a very good place to
start. Xander was never going to be one of those who jumped in or
fought head-on. He'd have to teach him how to be more
sneaky. Jett saw another running toward him and sneered, raising
"Not him," Xander warned. "He's not really a vampire, yet."
He looked at the man standing there. "Riley. Having fun?"
"No," he panted. "Where's Buffy?"
"West side tonight. Willow said so."
"Damn it. There's a major group coming up in Sunny Rest."
"Fine, go find her, we'll start that way, see if we can't keep them
contained," Xander offered.
"Define major?" Jett demanded.
Riley looked at him. "Who're you?"
"That's Jett, he's here for a while to work on my training. How
"Seventeen that I counted." He stared at Jett but the other man
just smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, and for some reason
Riley shivered in fear from him. "I'll find her.
Thanks. Don't try to take them on. I tried one and he was
too strong." He jogged off, going to find Buffy.
Xander looked at Jett. "Freaked him majorly," he said in
appreciation. "Good job." He pointed at a road.
"Sunny Rest is that way." He jogged off, going to jump in like
usual. He followed the screams, pulling out his pocket
knife to make a shallow cut on his arm, which drew attention to him.
Most of the vampires sniffed and turned to look at him. "Get off
the human. Come try me instead." All but one of them lunged
over to try and capture him, but he dodged and got a few with
stakes. He ducked to scoop up a rock, tossing it at the vampire
over the human. She wasn't screaming any more but maybe she was
still living. A vampire grabbed him from behind and he struggled,
but the guy was bigger than he was.
"Duck forward," Jett called. "Toss her."
Xander rocked forward, landing on his feet. She didn't quite sail
over his head, but she did go off his side. He staked her before
she could move. "A woman was that big?" he said in disgust.
He dodged another one coming for him, getting under his arm to stake
him. The next one got him from the side, pouncing on him to drag
him onto the ground.
Jett groaned when he saw that, dispatching his victim of choice and
heading for the boy. Ares would be pissed if his son got turned
and would be taking it out on him for centuries. He got that one,
hearing running footsteps. He got Xander up and they each got
another opponent, ducking one swing and another grab, which made their
vampires run past them. So they switched and got the other's when
they came into range.
Buffy kicked one with a flying kick and then started off with he
crossbow. The last one she pointed it at was Jett. "Who're
"That's Jett," Xander panted. "He's here to work on my
training." He bent down, trying to catch his breath. When
he no longer saw stars he stood back up, leaning on Jett's
shoulder. "Hey, Buffy. Good timing."
"You dumbass! You took on vampires by yourself!" she yelled,
swatting at him. "Xanders do not do things like that, they get
dead! Then Willow would have to turn you into a zombie!"
"Chill, chick. It's fine. I had his back," Jett told her
calmly. "He's not half bad. We'll work on your endurance,"
Jett assured him. "Jace may get his wish and see you in the gym
yet." He patted Xander on the back. "Bronze?"
"Sounds good," he agreed. He looked at the victim. "She was
screaming when I got here, but I'm not sure if she's all right or
not. I haven't had a chance to check."
Jett stared at her, then shook his head. "She's living, barely.
It's going to be a make or break night for her."
Buffy pulled out her cellphone, calling 911 for the poor thing while
the guys walked off. She hung up. "I'll see you in a while," she
called after them. "I want an explanation." Jett waved a
hand. She frowned, something was not right. Was it another evil
person after Xander? He didn't seem that nice and he was wearing
leather. She heard a siren and went to hide. She'd make
sure the paramedics made it back to the ambulance with the girl but
she'd be yelled at if they saw her. None of the local cops and
paramedics liked her. She saw the fearful glances around
but they quickly got the girl bandaged and into the ambulance, heading
off. She went to report to Giles and then head to the
Bronze. That did deserve some time off. She'd done half the
town, it was good enough for the night. It's not like it made a
dent in the demons around there.
Up on Olympus, Athena canceled the scrying spell they had on the
boy. "He's not mine," she agreed. "Pity. I was hoping
someone was going to take over those duties. He's not really a
"So Jett said," Hera agreed. "What do you think he's under?"
"He used his blood to call out to the demons. I'd say he's taking
"He said he didn't want to since he's fighting with them."
"Then he'll be able to weed out the lesser demons," she said with a
"I think he would have ethical complaints about that," Hera told
her. She looked at the empty pool. "You have the family
chart, was there anything under Bacchus?" Athena shrugged and
went to get it, opening it and glancing at the chart before handing it
over. "Hmm. His name still appears under yours."
"I release him," Athena said formally. "He's not meant to be
"Thank you, dear." She looked as the name faded out but didn't
appear anywhere else. "It's not here."
"He has to be on there, he's one of ours," Athena reminded her, taking
the book back to look it over. She checked the other two pages,
but those kingdoms didn't list the boy either. "Is he in-between
"Ares?" Hera called. He appeared, still scowling. "We're
trying to find a spot for your son. He had been placed
under Athena and Knowledge, but it wasn't right for him."
"The boy hates books," Athena said blandly. "So I released him
and now he's not showing up anywhere. Is he in-between kingdoms?"
"Well, let's see," Ares said, creating a chair. "He's been
possessed a few times, he was tied to that Master in Sunnydale for most
of his life. He attracts demons. Demons want him and get
high off his blood. He was nearly turned into a sea creature back
in high school. He slays with the best of them, including the
present slayer. He's her sidekick and Joxer's already working on
his theme song. I had to kick him out of the temple when he
started to hum. He's dating a former demon, is thinking about
marrying her, but Joxer doesn't like her very much at the moment
because he said she doesn't have a clue who and what the son is really
like. He can't be under Jett, or Jace, I've already talked to
both of them. The boy gives Cupid headaches, that's how we found
him. And on top of all that, he's in construction for a living
and likes it a lot."
Hera and Athena both groaned. "Temptation?" Athena asked
finally. "Since he doesn't want to take over Bacchus' old
"Bacchus is still listed as having his spot, he's just less effective
from Hades' realm," Ares said dryly. "Maybe you should ask Hades?
He's pretty good at finding these things out and he can do the
life-line review thing like the Fates do."
"Hades, a word?" Hera called out. "At this rate it'll be a full
Council of Twelve event to find this boy a spot."
"Well, he *did* ask to be put in a spot where he wouldn't look like a
moron," Ares said, smirking at her. "He asked not to be under Artemis
or Hecate, and when told where he had been he denied that one too."
"Which is a good thing," Athena agreed. "The boy can't be
Knowledge if he doesn't like to read."
"What's going on now?" Hades sighed as he appeared. Ares was
noted first. "Something wrong with your son?"
"Just the fact that we can't find him a spot," Athena said
bitterly. "He was put under me at birth but being tied to a
vampire in Sunnydale has warped him terribly. The chart doesn't
show him having a spot."
Hades looked at the book, then groaned. "He's in-between?"
"He slays, he's possessable, he's attractive to demons, he was nearly a
fish creature, and he's thinking about marrying his former demon
lover. Jett thought something under Strife or Bacchus. The
boy doesn't want to be Bacchus though because he's in a war against the
demons of the world. He works with a slayer."
"Fucking hell, Ares, can't your kids have normal problems?" he
complained. "I'll look over the boy's life, do a review.
Maybe I can find something in there."
"He does tempt demons," Athena offered, taking back the book.
"They get high off his blood," Ares agreed. "He can tell when
they're getting hot for him on the dance floor too. He goes to
taunt them every now and then."
"He just broke up a planned sacrifice by vampires by cutting his arm to
draw them," Hera told him.
"Then I should probably ask Bacchus for his help. He's bored
anyway," Hades agreed before disappearing.
"I knew you and Joxer having children would bring problems," Athena
complained. "That's two now, Ares. Fortunately the other
one only wanted to be married powerfully."
"That's her thing, I wanted her to be a warrior." He stood up and
made his chair disappear. "Anything else? I've got to
banish Joxer to the mortal realm until he quits singing again."
"No, go, save the sanity of all of us," Hera said tolerantly.
Ares disappeared so she looked at her stepdaughter. "No ideas?"
"Temptation," she said with a shrug. "He is very tempting."
"That would fit under Bacchus, Strife, and Cupid," Hera agreed.
"Perhaps. I'll go check on Hades and suggest that." She
disappeared, landing in the central throne room of Tartarus.
"Hades, Athena had a suggestion."
"I heard. It's possible," he called, opening a door. "This
way, Hera. We're doing a full life review by the speed
method." He let her in and closed the door again.
"The boy should have been mine in payment for what Joxer did to me," he
complained, looking at them. "His line's so tangled it's hard to
get a good reading on most of it."
"What about what you can read?"
"He reads like one of Athena's Chosen," Hades said grimly. "That
doesn't exactly lead to a long life and since he's a full god he can't
be one of them."
"I knew I made that decision for a reason," Hera said
sarcastically. "No ideas?"
"Not a one," Bacchus admitted. "He doesn't want my spot, right?"
"No, he's presently fighting with most of your people," Hera pointed
out gently. "He's working with a slayer and sees a clear conflict
"Good." He scowled at the thread. "This boy is not right."
"He was tied to the Master, Bacchus, of course he's not right," Hades
snorted. "Why else would we be doing this?"
"Who did that to him?"
"Hecate and Zeus," Hera told him.
"Good, then I'll be using my days off this year to go talk to
them. Perhaps a horn up their asses would help."
"Probably not, Zeus might like it," Hera said dryly, smirking at
him. "Do record it for me however if you do go that way."
She looked at the string. "We'll have to make a decision within a
week since Athena formally renounced him earlier."
"Zeus won't be happy about that," Hades noted.
"It's his fault," she spat. "He should be doing this but he'd put
the boy somewhere he'd be worthless." She shook her head.
"Let me know, dear. So I can tell them. They're working on
his training at the moment with Jett." She disappeared, going to
the council chamber, where Zeus was lounging. "I loathe you," she
said in greeting. "You and Hecate have now created the biggest
headache on this mountain in nearly three thousand years."
"I haven't slept with her," he protested. "There's no issue from
"No, but you tied one of Ares' sons to a vampire and now he's not fit
for the position he had and we can't find him a new one." Zeus
shivered at the coldness in her tone. "So get off your worthless
ass and go help Hades and Bacchus!"
"Why should I? They're better at that sort of thing."
"Hecate!" Hera yelled. She appeared, looking confused. She
slammed her with a ball of power, immobilizing her. "You and Zeus
are responsible for the warping of a God from his native element.
I hereby charge you with that and you will stand trial, both of you."
"Now, Hera," Zeus said calmly. "You can't do that."
"I can," Athena said as she appeared. "It's unfortunately
true. Any luck yet?"
"No," Hera said grimly. "Not a bit. You know Ares won't
like it if his son is judged as a rogue. He'll take over and
destroy most of us." She glared at Hecate. "What were you
thinking when you tied his son to the Master?"
Hecate swallowed. "The Fates told us to."
"Oh, no," Atropos said as she appeared. "You're not laying this
one on us. We like that boy. We've kept him alive this
long. You're not laying that one at our feet, Hecate. We
refuse to take it this time." Hecate screeched but since she was
still pressed against the wall and unable to move that's all she could
do. "Justice!" Atropos called. "I'm tired of this shit, get
your ass up here now, girl!"
Justice appeared, looking bemused. "Who blamed what on you this
time?" Atropos pointed at the tableau beside them.
"Alexander?" Hera nodded. "Any idea where the boy goes?"
"Not a clue. They warped him so he couldn't be in his native
one. Atropos, dear, any ideas?"
"Something under Bacchus or Strife," she said with a shrug.
"We've tried, Hera. We tried a great many times to save that boy
some warping, but *nooooo* Zeus had to have his way again," she
spat. "It's your fault we're dying!"
"Enough!" Zeus yelled. "I am not responsible...."
"You helped me tie him to that vampire. If I go down, you go
down," Hecate promised.
"Oh, shut up," Justice complained, zapping her with a gag. "You
too, Zeus. I've had about enough," she ordered, staring him
down. "Ares?" He appeared, looking amused at least.
"Where you're son? So we can pull him up here and examine him?"
"Working. It's a new day and he's getting sweaty building houses."
"Very well. Get Apollo to get him and bring him here. Then
tell those working on it to come examine him in person. I want
this solved before it becomes a bigger instability."
"We agree," Atropos offered. "Clotho's been crying over that boy."
"Fine," Ares agreed, going to do as ordered. Justice may seem
nice and sweet and gentle, but she could be a bitch when she got
rolling and outraged. "'Pol," he called as he walked into his
temple. "Go get my son and bring him here. Justice wants
"Why?" he whined from his spot lounging in a hammock under his sun.
"Because Justice said so. He's the one Zeus and Hecate
warped. We've got six days to find him a spot."
"Shit." He hopped up and went without changing.
Ares smirked and went to find the other two or three. Maybe
they'd bring popcorn.
Xander looked up as some of the guys around him squealed in
fright. "Wow, I thought Jace cured you of wearing that in
public," he noted dryly. "Problems?"
"Justice wants to see you. We're figuring out where you go."
"That can't wait for another hour and a half?"
"You don't keep her waiting, she'll just turn into a bigger
bitch. Come on, kid."
"Fine." He looked around the very tanned and fit God of the Sun
and other things, shrugging. "It's a family thing."
"He's your family?" he asked in awe.
"Yeah, and I'm taking him back before anyone gets an idea about the
gold thong." He handed over his tool belt and took the God's
held-out hand. "I don't suppose I can stop to shower and
change? Or get Jett?" he asked as they disappeared.
"Hell no, she'd kick my ass, kid," Apollo snorted as he joined the
others. "One son, as requested."
"Good. Come here, boy," Bacchus called.
Xander looked at him. "We killed something that looked like you a
few years back, it was trapped in a book." Bacchus raised an
eyebrow so he shrugged. "We did, but he was more brown and black
than your red tones." Hades snickered. "He was!"
"I'm sure he was," he agreed. "Come here, we're to examine you to
see how badly Zeus and Hecate screwed you up. Hopefully we'll
find you a spot at the same time." He walked the boy over,
standing him between him and Bacchus, then put him on a slowly rotating
pedestal so they could look him over completely.
"I feel like a chicken in those neat ovens."
"Sorry," Bacchus said. "Necessary but sorry." He
groaned. "He does have skills in my area."
"Yeah, but I'm at war with your people. Not exactly ethically
"True," Hades agreed. "But you could be over the more harmless
"I still say Temptation," Athena offered.
"That doesn't explain his hunting," Bacchus told her. "If it
wasn't for me still being partially here, he'd be in my spot," he told
Justice. "By the way, might you punish Joxer for me?"
"He wasn't a God at that time and the Fates said so."
"We did not!" Atropos proclaimed. "That was Zeus! Not us!"
"Fine, I'm the bad guy yet again," Zeus complained. "Any chance
of fixing him?"
"Making him be reborn somewhere else to nurturing parents who loved to
read to him and raise him somewhere that he never sees a violent act,"
Hades suggested. "Somewhere that no demons exist also."
"I don't really mind my life, I'd just like a spot to belong to before
Dad gets a really rude shock and gets ordered to leave me alone."
Xander looked at the Gods around him. "Can I go back to work
now? I still had a few hours left."
"No," Hera told him. "You can go back tomorrow."
"Yeah, but I'll still have to put up with 'what was he wearing'
questions." Everyone but Apollo gave him an odd look. "He showed
up in the thong, people. I'll get razzed for weeks."
"Sorry, I thought it was too important to change." He shrugged
but smirked. "At least I fill it out well."
"Yeah, and I'm gonna be asked if you stuff that thing too since I work
around a lot of guys with gender issues. As in they don't like
"Pfft, what do I care?" Apollo asked grandly. "They're mortals,
they should bask in my radiance."
"Enough," Jace ordered as he appeared. "Didn't I tell you not to
wear that in public!" he screeched. Apollo hurried away before
Jace could catch him. He sniffed. "Xander, dear, sweaty is
not a good look for you."
"Apollo wouldn't let me change."
"Fine. Do so now."
"Er, not quite that skilled yet," he noted. "I'll shower before
going out on patrol tonight."
"Not tonight you're not," Justice told him. "It's gonna be a
while, Xander. Come sit beside me." He shrugged and walked
over to sit beside her, letting her put an arm around his shoulders
even. She kissed him on the temple, then smirked at Zeus.
"You're so dead."
Zeus stood up. "I don't have to listen to this."
"You will or I'm toasting your balls," Hera told him. "You fucked
up, you deal with it."
"Fine, then he can go rogue," Zeus told her simply.
"Do it and watch me destroy everything," Ares vowed, buffing his nails
on his vest. "Son, I agree, sweaty is not a good look for you."
"Sorry, *dad*, but I happen to work outside doing sweaty stuff all
day. Excuse me for needing to pay the bills."
"I like him," Bacchus admitted. "He's got fire, like Strife did."
"Strife?" Xander asked, looking at him. "That's actually a job
description?" Ares nodded. "Not going to call him in since
he seems to be over my life?"
"He's dead too," Hades said gently.
"So's Bacchus since he looks like a ghost."
"Strife won't come up, kid," Ares told him. "It's painful for
"Okay, then I'll leave that point alone." He shrugged. "I don't
like to see people in pain."
"Thanks." He looked up. "Discord!" She appeared,
looking confused until she saw Xander, then she sighed and shook her
head. "We're finding him a spot."
"Bacchus' old one?" she suggested. "Or Strife's?"
"I hadn't thought of that," Hades offered.
"I'd rather have him back. This one can plan battles and he can
fight, but he doesn't like to."
"I'm not a good maker of practical jokes either," Xander told
him. Hades frowned at him. "Sorry! Being honest
here! I could lie!"
"No, don't lie, boy. Being honest is better in this situation,"
Bacchus admitted, standing up. He walked over and laid a hand on
the boy's head, reading his mind, then he sighed. "If Strife and I had
a son, it would be this one," he admitted, looking at Ares. "Then
again, sometimes you were very close to being mine by right of
attraction and Joxer is one of Strife's to this day."
Ares nodded at that. "So where should he go?"
"But I don't...."
"Hush." He tipped the boy's face up. "I know you don't
think it's ethical. You're right, but you could also do so much
more to help. You could help thin out the stupid ones. You
could help promote the stronger ones to an area they can't do much harm
"Yeah, but I'd rather see them all dead."
"Good point," Bacchus agreed with a small smile. "This would be
so much easier if you didn't have morals, Xander."
"Again, sorry but I'm like that," he said with a small grin. "I
wouldn't care to be partially under you and partially under Dad, but I
can't deal with the demons. I hate demons. Demons love me
but I hate them."
"There's no position like that, Xander," Ares said patiently. "We
can't just make one up without Zeus agreeing."
"No, no new spots. He can fill in the spot he was originally
meant for or the Council will have to give him a new one."
"Zeus, do you want to look like an idiot for putting me into a spot I
can't do?" Xander asked. "I don't like books. I hate
books. I hate reading books, I hate learning from books.
How am I supposed to be Knowledge when I don't like books?"
"Originally you were meant to take over Strife's spot," he said
smartly, glaring at the boy. "Knowledge was Hecate's idea."
"Uh-huh. Do we think I have what it takes to do Strife's job?"
"Hell no," Strife said as he appeared. "No, no, no, and hell no!"
"I agree," Xander told him. "Now you see the problem?"
"I did before, Xan. Calm down about it." He looked at
Athena. "She had it right. He's got attraction, but only
for demons. That does cause mischief, which gives me a
headache. It probably gives 'Dite a headache too. Ares is
getting ones from him because he fights. Athena gets ones because
he doesn't use her area when he fights. Zeus gets one because
he's a dick and Hera gets one because of the thought of that marriage
going through. So let's settle this now. Kid, I know ya
hate it, but you're best suited for part of Bacchus' job. The
vamps already know and love ya as their master and liege. That's
why they keep trying to bite you and suckle on the true blood. Ya
might as well be mine, but you're right. Ya can't pull a prank ta
save your life." He smirked at the boy, getting one in
return. "Though, I do love watchin' ya work the crowds at that
club. So do the smart thing, take it on as Bacchus' true heir, and be
done with it. Ya won't be able ta hunt, but you can still rule
the town and make it safer. She's about to go berserk anyway," he
shared. "The blonde one'll get ta hunt, you'll be somewhat over
that witchypoo of yours too, and then you can either make Anya your
lover for real, which would addict her to your cock, or you can use her
as a toss-away until you decide to addict her. That means
Bacchus' don't have ta move on. You can do what you want when you
want it. Plus you could make that girl something to shut 'er up."
"I'm still seeing ethical issues. How can I let Buffy slay if I'm
one of Bacchus' people. How can I help her?"
"You'll help her by smoothing out the town, which will probably make
her leave," Ares pointed out. "Think long term, Xander, not short
term. You and Jett are staying in Sunnydale, no matter
what. You can set up an altar, which will draw the
stronger, but make the weaker go insane and leave. None of them will
like you, but they'll crave you and your affections."
"Which would be nice, but what about those harmless demons?"
"LA," Jett said as he appeared. He shrugged. "Angel's got space
to put up with some harmless demons and he could easily stake the
stupid ones. Plus, he's not powerful enough to be drawn to you so
he wouldn't know unless he bit you now."
"No prior bitings would trigger that?" Xander asked.
"No. In Spike maybe because you have fed him so much. Then
again, he'd make a good consort for you," Jett offered.
"I like girls more and I don't think of Spike that way, he's kinda too
dead and cold for my tastes, Jett."
"Yes, but Bacchus had many people who were officially turned but not
dead," Hades told him. "He had a whole harem of them."
"Which would majorly piss Anya off," he noted dryly. "Former
vengeance demon gone to full blown bitch in three-point-five sorta piss
"She'd be yours to give powers to anyway," Bacchus said with a
shrug. "Though, if you don't want her, I do. She seems very
good at what she does and I *love* it when women beg for pleasure," he
added with a catty smirk.
"Fine. She'd adore you more anyway," Jett told him. "You
can still have a theme song too since you'd be clearing out the town
pretty quick. Buffy could move to LA and shack up with the Cordy
bitch and they could get together. Buffy seems like the sort to
need a more feminine tongue doing the licking." He grinned.
"Willow would be under control because Hecate's going to be punished
soon. Tara could end up being the more powerful witch on the
"Speaking of, who's Tara's Godly parent?" Xander asked. "It's
pretty clear, she glows with it." Everyone pointed at
"She's Demeter's niece by an immortal daughter," he admitted. "That
makes her an in- law. She is nice though. Very strong, but
"So howzaboutit, kid? Can ya take one for the team for the good
of everyone?" Strife asked. "Before ya make me crap my brains out
from the mischief energy floatin' around ya?"
"That's.... a really graphic image," Xander said, shuddering.
"Eww. Can't you use it to restore yourself?"
"I tried, I got burned." He looked at Ares. "I did try."
"I know you did. My son creates more than enough hell on earth to
satisfy you for weeks on a binge. If you were alive, I'd send you
with Jett to work with him and teach him the ropes."
"Good idea!" Hades agreed happily, waving a hand. "That way I
don't have to deal with the dancing sex toys *ever* again. I give
up all claims to the boy being part of my Kingdom. Poseidon?"
"What?" a cranky, deep male voice called before he appeared. "I'm
having a riot from some of my new sea creatur...." He looked at
the boy. "Shouldn't you be in the water by now?"
"He's my son," Ares told him. "The one Hecate and Zeus played
"Oh. No wonder you're not in the sea by now." He looked the
boy over, then shrugged. "Since your godhood defended you, you can't be
one of mine. Pity, you're cute and you'd look good on a
half-shell being pampered and stroked to pleasure all day."
"Turn my swimteam back, they'll probably serve you that way for years,"
Xander said with a smile. "Does that mean I won't be able to swim
"No, I like you. You're pretty and you're built nicely. The
mermaids would come up to tease you if I allowed it. You can swim
in my waters anytime, my boy."
"Thanks." He smiled at him, then at his father. "Dad?"
"Take it, son. It's the best thing for you. Even though you
don't like it."
"Then I formally name the God Alexander as my heir and my repository of
power," Bacchus said formally, stunning everyone. "Whoever
touches him will be like touching me, only he's more deadly and I'm
"Cooooooool," Strife breathed. He looked at his body, then
shrugged and looked at his grandmother. "This okay with you?"
"Yes, dear," she said patiently. "As long as you go help Xander
and leave us in peace for a few more centuries."
"Sure," he agreed with a grin. "Mom!" She reappeared and
paused, then threw a fireball at him. "What? Hades got
tired of me! I tried to come back sooner!"
"Auntie Discord, please don't. I'd hate to have to send out the
roving mischief issues that I have and give you a headache too," Xander
said, giving her his best pitiful look. "Please, Auntie
Discord?" She groaned and hugged him, then scowled at everyone
"Nice work," Strife and Jett said in unison.
Ares snickered. "Fine. Any disagreement?" No one said
anything. He counted the Gods around them. "Apollo,
Artemis? Aphrodite, Hephie?" he called. "We need a quorum!"
Aphrodite appeared first, fluffing out her hair to dislodge some rose
petals. "For what, bro?" She saw Xander and grinned,
wiggling her fingers at him. "Hi, Xanny. How's the Anya?"
"Good. But she'll be pouting soon since I was supposed to take
her out to dinner tonight." He beamed at her. "They've
decided on a spot for me."
"Artemis, Apollo, get your butts here now!" Aphrodite shrieked.
"Before the kid loses his chance and we all get more headaches from
Artemis appeared, looking confused. "I've never gotten any from
anyone in the last century." She looked at the boy snuggled up to
Justice. "You look familiar."
"You were kinda over me while I was possessed by a hyena a few years
back, Auntie Artemis."
"Oh, Xander. I'd forgotten." She smiled at him. "Have
they figured out where you go yet?"
"He's my heir," Bacchus told her.
"Good choice," she agreed. She saw Zeus's scowl and shrugged. "It
is. It'd suit him. I tried to tell you where he was.
You never listened. You didn't even let me tell Ares."
Apollo appeared, this time in gold chinos. "Yeah? We
finally figure it out?"
"He's going to be Bacchus' heir," Artemis told her twin.
Apollo sighed. "Thank Gaia that I didn't get him." He
looked up. "Thanks, Grandma!" He grinned at the boy. "Good
job. Fits you well." He saw Strife and frowned at him.
"You're not dead."
"Nooooo," he drawled with a smirk. "Hades got tired of the
dancing sex toys in Tartarus and Cerbie chewin' on 'em before bringin'
'em ta Chiron for his amusement." He beamed at Hades.
"Thanks for letting him bring me chicks too. They were nice."
"I'm sure they were," Hades said patiently. "Hephaestus?
Gaia appeared first. "Hephaestus is fixing my toilet, dear, it
overflowed," Gaia said with a smile for him. "There you are,
naughty boy," she chided, walking over to kiss him on the forehead.
"You left and there's a major demon causing your friend trouble."
"I'll send him back in a moment," Justice offered with a shy smile for
her. "You're the only one who can overrule me, do you mind if I
punish Hecate and Zeus for warping him?"
"No, they deserve it and I can't exactly ground them this time," she
agreed gently, pulling the boy to his feet. "Let me look at
you. Oooh, so big and strong." She patted him on the
cheek. "You'll do wonderfully as Bacchus' second in command, just
remember not to hold too many orgies in my sacred groves in the woods."
"With my woman, that's not likely," he assured her with a shy
grin. "Hi, Gaia."
"Hello, love. Welcome to the family." She smiled as
Hephaestus appeared. "There you are. Is it fixed?" He
nodded. "Good. Maybe Xander can help you in the future.
He's to be Bacchus' new heir."
"Wonderful. You do what?"
"Good. I could use the help now and then," he agreed. He
counted. "We have a quorum. Issue is?"
"Me taking my spot."
Hephaestus shook his head. "Anyone not in favor?" Zeus
raised his hand. "Besides the people who did it?" No one
said anything. "Anyone got an alternate suggestion?" No one
said anything. "Can we hold the confirmation party in Sunnydale
in two weeks time?"
"Hell yeah," Aphrodite agreed. The others nodded or added in
their less stringent 'yeses'.
"Good, motion carried. New business?"
"Punishment for Zeus and Hecate?"
"Make them do Strife's former job for Hades for six months?" Xander
"Don't be mean to me, kid, I stuck up for you."
"Sorry, I thought you might enjoy having them down there."
"No, not really. Gaia?"
"I would say do it traditionally and make them mortal for ten years,
but at their ages it'd be suicidal." She considered it and looked
at Justice. "Make them live Xander's childhood over again?"
"I like that," Justice said with a wicked grin that made both Xander
and Strife shiver in pleasure. "In real time, in their minds I
might add," she announced, waving her hand at them. They
disappeared to specially locked room where they could be taken care of
but they wouldn't be bothered. "Anything else?"
Hera shook her head. "I agree, two weeks for the confirmation
hearing. Xander, dear, go back to your girlfriend, she's throwing
a fit. Strife will be down later with Jett." He nodded,
hugging everyone before leaving. "He's such a nice boy, even for
what he's gone through."
"He is," Ares agreed. "He still can't block a punch though."
"He'll convince anyone who tries ta hit 'im ta go on their backs
immediately," Strife said with a shrug. "It's good fer
him." He grinned at Jett. "Hi."
"Hi. Happy being alive?"
"I am. Everything's back to normal. Ma tried ta kill
me. Ares hasn't hugged me yet or tried ta kill me taday."
He looked at Hera. "Can I have my powers back?"
"I forgot. Here, have some," she ordered, handing over her
personal cup of ambrosia. "Then go help Xander learn control
before that whole town ends up in an orgy." Strife beamed and
gulped the contents, making a gross face. He suddenly cackled and
sparkles shot out from his body. "There you are. Spend some
time with Jett before you go." He nodded, beaming at Jett, who
raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Jett, dear, get laid soon.
You're making me miserable," Hera ordered patiently.
"Yeah, the rest of us too," Aphrodite agreed. "Cupie thinks he's found
you someone though."
"No thanks. I'd rather have Strife." They disappeared
together to catch up.
"Meeting adjourned," Ares ordered. Everyone went back to what
they had been doing. Mostly avoiding Joxer and his singing.
Xander landed on one foot and one knee, with one hand touching the
floor. He grinned as he felt the building around him tremble but
calm down at his command. "Honey, I'm home," he called as he
stood up, dusting his hands off. "Should we go out for dinner?"
"Buffy wanted you," she said with a pout. "There's a big, major,
scary demon in town and she's scared she'll break a nail."
He kissed her on the cheek. "I wouldn't worry about it, I got her
some help," he promised when she looked up at him. "It was a good
family meeting. Let's go out to dinner."
"Sure. You seem different. More powerful."
"Well, they finally found me a spot. I'm under Bacchus." He
pulled her up and kissed her, making her moan. "Get
dressed. We'll go out." He looked down and found himself
dressed by Jett, he's the only one who would have put him into leather
pants and a black silk shirt. "Jett!"
"Sorry," drifted out. "You needed the leather."
He grinned at her. "He and Destructo boy are having some fun
tonight. Go change." He swatted her on the butt.
"Wear something pretty and slightly naughty, with stockings." She
smiled as she went to dress up for him. It was going to be a good
bout of foreplay tonight. Xander looked down at himself, then shook his
head, taking the ruffles off so he was in a normal black silk
shirt. "I looked like an Anne Rice character," he complained to
himself. He changed his boots for his usual boots and sat down to
wait. She came out a few minutes later in a pretty dress with a
short skirt and the asked for stockings on. "Let's go." She
grinned and walked out with him, letting him take her to dinner.
Across town, Buffy sneered as the demon took off running, along with a
bunch of other ones around town. "Chicken," she called after
it. "Come back and fight!"
"I'm thinking Xander must have went clubbing again," Willow said from
her position on top of a tombstone. She hopped down and handed
over her stake. "I wonder if they're paying him extra to come in
during the middle of the week."
"They pay him?"
"Yeah, he draws customers. They pay him like three hundred a night or
"Wow. Bet Anya loves that." She shrugged and walked off
with her best friend. "Now where? Since they ran and all."
"Sure, we can do that," she agreed happily, traipsing that way.
They ran into Anya and Xander, grinning at them. "The big, major,
scary demon just ran from me," she said proudly.
"Congrats, Buffy. I just got back so we're headed out to do
dinner and coupley things."
The girls giggled. "That's why you're wearing leather?" Willow
asked. "Did you make him, Anya?"
"No, it's a family trait," she admitted. "They're all like
that." She shrugged. "I'm going to get teased over dinner.
Have a nice night and I hope you get many orgasms tonight, Willow."
"Me too," she agreed happily, watching as they walked on. "Xander
seemed different. More calm."
"Maybe leather calms him down," Buffy said with a shrug.
"Vampires do seem to like him so maybe if he dresses like them he'll be
more aggressive and suit her more." They headed into the
shop. "The big one is gone, he went for a run," she said proudly
to her Watcher, who was manning the counter.
"Good job, Buffy. Where did it go?"
"Out of town," Willow told him. "I saw a few others take off
running too." She sat down and grinned. "We saw Anya and
Xander too. They're on their way out to dinner. Xander's
dressed in leather and silk and he seems very calm about it."
"Is he all right?"
"Yeah, he just seemed pretty calm and kinda alluring," Buffy admitted
with a grin. "Kinda like a wicked and naughty Xander with Anya in
a short skirt."
"Ah." He nodded wisely. "Then I'm sure they'll have some
fun and you'll see them both tomorrow." He glanced around. "Is
there anything else for tonight?"
"Nope, just sharing the good news. I was going to suggest a movie
"I'm for that," Willow agreed. "Giles?"
"We've still got an hour left, girls," he said patiently. They
pouted. "Fine, go. I'll catch up with you later."
They nodded, heading back to Buffy's house to do the movie thing
there. He looked over as Tara came out of the back room, glowing
brightly. "What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything. I took a nap. I woke up and I'm a
lightbulb." She looked at herself. "I look like those
pictures of saints in the museums. Only I don't have a pie plate
above my head."
He smiled. "That's fine. We'll figure it out. The
other two have went to have a movie night at Buffy's if you want to
go. Xander and Anya are out to dinner."
"I guess I will. Can I walk around like this?"
"Of course you can," he promised. "Buffy said a great many demons
just ran for the city limits." That made her smile. "Go
ahead. You could probably catch up with them." She nodded,
grabbing her bookbag and hurrying out after her friend and
girlfriend. He smiled and made a note in his journal about this
so he could come back to it later.
Hermes appeared, making Giles shriek and back away. "Duuude,
chill," he ordered with a bright grin. "It's all good. I'm
here with an announcement. The heir of Bacchus is in town. It's
gonna be okay from now on. Plus, Heccie's kinda in deep doo-doo
right now," he admitted with a grin. "That's why that one's
glowing. She's her advocate of purity and light." He
"Hold on. Heir of Bacchus? Is that a problem or a good
"A good thing. He's not for the whole 'vamps eat the girls before
he gets there' thing. He'll straighten it out soon enough."
He zipped off, heading off to tell some others who needed to
know. Or those that Ares wanted to brag to.
Giles wrote that down as well, going to do some research on the Greek
Gods. "I didn't know Bacchus had a child," he complained.
"Someone left out a few stories." He stopped and thought for a
moment. "Surely it can't be Tara," he said, frowning at that.
Xander caught sight of Tara later that night as she headed back to the
dorms, jogging to catch up with her. "Hi." He
grinned. "Liking being the purity monitor and holiness girl?"
She gaped at him. "Bacchus?" she said softly, touching his face.
"Heir of," he admitted with a wink. "Only you and the family
knows. Watch out for Strife, he's on his way down with
Jett." She blushed. "Hey, if they do it for you, I'm all
for it," he promised, giving her a hug.
"My witch," Willow said as she caught up to them. "Hands off."
"I was only hugging her glowyness." He grinned at her and let
Tara go. "There you are. Safe and sound."
"Thanks. You have a good night, Xander." She patted him on
the cheek. "We'll talk tomorrow night." He nodded, going
back to Anya's side. "She was glowy."
"She was," Anya agreed. "She also likes girls, as opposed to me, who
likes you." She grinned up at him and he grinned back. "Can
we go home and have orgasms now?"
"Sure," he agreed happily. "Anything for you, Ahn." They ran into
Spike in front of their building. "Probs?" he asked with a small
smirk. "Jett said you may be able to tell the difference."
"Oh, I can," he said grimly. "Can I stay?"
"If you want you can sleep on the couch but he's giving me many orgasms
tonight so you're going to be rudely awakened quite a few times," Anya
told him primly. Spike grinned and shrugged so he followed them
up. "I didn't know vampires were voyeurs."
"Can't get none of my own," Spike said with a smirk. "It'll be
like a porno without the visual."
"Go ahead and get ready for me, Anya. I'll be right in," Xander
promised, undoing his shirt. He waited until she had closed the
bathroom door to look at Spike. "Out me and I'm turning you into
a bug-eating, bone shitting minion," he warned quietly.
"Not an issue. I figured I'll be good in your service." He
nodded at the boy's crotch. "She gonna need all that?"
"Yup, she will," he agreed smugly. "We'll talk about that later,
Spike. Then again, Strife and Jett are coming down here
soon." Spike's face lit up. "I thought you might. You can go to
him if you want."
"Fix me?" he requested quietly.
"If I can. As long as you know you're gonna be souled within an
instant." Spike shuddered. "That's the bargain price,
"Deal. I guess."
"Fine. Let me figure out how and I'll get back with you."
Spike nodded, going to find the other two and get some of his own
in. Xander finished undoing his buttons and went to wait on the
bed, pants open but not off. She was going to be blowing him
tonight, even if she didn't like doing it. It was a perk of the
job after all.