Fixing His Heir.




Jett was summoned to Olympus, bowing to the person sitting in front of where he landed.  He wiped some of the soap off his chest.  "You couldn't wait ten minutes?"

"No."  Ares frowned at him and waved a hand, sending water over him so he could finish rinsing off from his shower.  "I've got a very serious job for you, Jett."

"All right then," he agreed with a smirk.  "That's a good reason.  Who is it?"

"One of my sons, the lost one, was just found and he's got some training.  He's got some very decent training but the people he works with don't know that yet."   Jett raised an eyebrow.  "He does, but he's as good as Joxer ever was at hiding it.  As a matter of fact, he's a lot like Joxer."

"You want him dead?"

"No, I want you to finish his training."

"Why?"

"Because he lives on the Hellmouth, Jett.  He's working with the Slayer there."  Jett shuddered.  "Exactly.  He's the power and strength behind her duty.  There will be complications.  Namely his girlfriend, who only loves him more now.  Anya can see *exactly* what's in it for her if she stays with Xander."

"Has he manifested?" Jett asked, crossing his arms over his chest and canting his weight off to one side.

"He has, and he's done it while hunting.  He can do offensive things; he can also be offensive when he feels the urge to snark and be mean," he said dryly.  "I'm trusting you to make sure he survives and comes up here.  You can tempt him, train him, get with him if you want, but he is to come up here eventually.  There's bad things coming and I don't want him to be suffering."

"Done.  Where is he?  Which hellmouth?"

"Sunnydale."  Jett shuddered.  "Exactly.  He was hidden there with things blocking him.  They were tied to the Master when he was alive.  His slayer killed the Master and things started to happen around him.  Cupid found him of all people."  He smiled.  "Cupid went down to see why this one mortal was giving him headaches from being so fucked up in his area.  The boy was a disaster.  Demons, vampires, a botched love spell," he let out a groan as he shifted.  "Cupid had to step in and cut most of the love lines in the boy's body to free him from some of the tangled crap that happened when they tied his coverings to the Master.  So now he's attracted to humans but some of the taint remains.  Anya's a *former* demon," he sighed.  Jett let out a small moan and shook his head.  "Exactly," he said smugly.  "So not only are you guarding him from them, because every vampire down there still wants him, but you'll be finishing his training.  He's got a very good start on it, Jett.  I'm not going to lie though, he won't trust you for a few days.  He's very like Joxer."

"Fine, I can handle that.  Send me back and I'll travel tonight."

"Why were you in a shelter?"

"I was only passing through and so was my last target," he said with a shrug.  Ares put him back in his room.  Jett got dressed and went to pick up his other things from the bathroom, only finding the dagger he had brought gone.  He called it to his hand and tucked it back into his boot, then grabbed his bag and left.  "Thank you for your hospitality," he said quietly as he walked past the social worker at the door.  He looked up and smirked, then started to walk to the garage where he had left his bike.  They were so much nicer than horses, who balked at the smell of blood.   He found it unmolested and took off the security system, attaching his bag to the back before straddling it and kicking it to life.  He roared out of the garage, heading down the coast.  Cascade had been fun, but boring.  There wasn't anything fun here to be done.  He sped up as he hit the interstate, hoping he had the time to get there the mortal way and that Ares wouldn't try to kill him for daring to ride down.

//No, that's fine, Jett, they're in a lull,// Ares' voice said in his head. //Don't procrastinate too long.  He'll be in LA in three days at a club if you can meet him there.  Club Inferno.//

"That's a demon bar," he muttered.

//Exactly.// Ares let out a chuckle as Jett sped up. //Travel safely, Jett.  Dying would take time away from your trip.// His voice disappeared, leaving a small ache and a warm spot in his head.

Jett shook it off and wove around some of the slower traffic.  This just sucked but he couldn't say anything.  That boy of anyone should not be in a demon club.  Especially one that had a 'dangerous people only' clause to get in.

***

Jett walked up to the door of the club and the vampire sneered at him so he pinned him to the wall with a dagger.  "Where is the boy?"

"He's inside," he gasped.  "Go in, sir."

"Jett," he corrected.

"Jett," he said, a touch of awe in his gasp.  "You belong here.  The same as he does."

"Thanks.  He's my protégé."  He unstuck his long knife from the vampire's lung and walked over the velvet rope to get inside.  The music was loud and the club was dancing.  Wonderful.  Really.  He glanced around, searching for the human boy.  He couldn't see him so he searched for the largest group of vampires, figuring they'd know which one he was.  That's when he found the boy, he was dancing among them.  He shook his head but walked over, making his way through the crowd.  The music was infectious.  He figured that the siren doing the DJ-ing was projecting some.  He even found himself dancing.  He caught the boy's eye as he got closer, making him smile and move to dance with him.  After a few minutes he nodded.  "Want a drink?" he called over the noise.  The boy shook his head.  "I wanna talk to you, Xander.  Ares sent me."  Xander blinked and walked off after him, leading him to the bar to get a drink.  The boy went for a soda but Jett needed a real drink so he went for a scotch.  They picked a quiet back corner table and shooed the lesbian vampires out of it, inhabiting it.  "I'm Jett."

"Okay, and that's supposed to mean something?" Xander asked.  "Why did Ares send you?"

"To finish your training."

"You're one of his?"

"In a way.  I'm a personal annoyance eliminator."

Xander rolled that phrase through his head.  "You're an assassin?" he asked finally.  Jett nodded with a smirk as he finished his drink.  "But I don't need that in Sunnydale."

"No, but you need some of the skills and I am a competent teacher, Xander," he said patiently.   "Are you hunting on your own?"

"I try not to," he admitted.  "Unless I'm feeling really odd or jumpy.  No one knows when I do."

"I'd figure as much."  Jett punched him on the arm.  "Don't worry, in six months we should have you up to fighting speed demons at my level.  As long as what Ares said was true."

"I can fight, but sometimes I don't know what I'm doing."

"That's instinctual knowledge.  I'd expect that," Jett agreed, taking another drink.  "Drink, you look like you could use the fluid."  He looked over as some vampires shimmied their way toward them.  "You want them?"

"Not really."

"Fine."  Jett kissed him, making the vampires pout and move off to find a new target for their fun.  He pulled back, noticing the stunned look.  "It worked," he noted dryly.  "Didn't mean anything if you don't want it to, kid."

"Thanks.  I think."  He gulped his soda.  "So, what else were you going to teach me?  By the way, don't let my girlfriend hear about it or she'll return to her job and we'll both be sorry."

"She can't touch you, Xander.  She knows this.  She came to you because she saw the protector in your aura."  He smirked at him.  "You're well built.  Construction?"  Xander nodded.  "I bet that's handy when you're building weapons."

"I build houses."

"Then who does her weapons for her?"

"She buys off the rack," he said dryly, giving Jett a long look.  "Surely you know where you can find crossbows."

"Yeah, many of them.  I'm guessing the Watcher has them?"  Xander nodded. "That's fine, the Watchers probably have a storehouse of them."  He finished his drink.  "Did you want to go back out there?"

"No, I'm tired of being nipped."  He rubbed across a shallow bite mark on his thigh.  "They're rabid tonight.  They haven't been this bad since the guy with wings that no one else could see showed up and did something to my insides that made me quit liking Buffy and quit making Dru pant after me."  He sipped his coke again.  "You can get another, as long as someone's driving you."

"That would be kinda hard, I rode my bike down."  Jett smirked.  "Two drinks isn't going to impair me, kid. I've been drinking now for many years."  He got up to get a second one and came back to stake the vampire trying to get into Xander's pants.  He brushed off the seat and sat down again, giving him a long look.  "Having fun?"

"She offered and it'd be cheap.  Anya won't."

"She won't blow you?"

"Nope.  Says it's not her thing."  He shrugged. "I get along without it."  He sipped his soda and smiled at one of the vampires walking past.  "Can you tell the bartender to send another soda my way since you're between us?" he called.  The vampire sneered but Xander was soon given six or seven sodas by willing vampires.  "Thanks," he said with a grin.  "This is my new trainer."  Jett waved and they backed off and ran away, all but one who cuddled into his side and nuzzled his neck.  "Just a taste.  I'm addictive," he allowed.  She nipped him on the ear, then swooned and wandered off in a daze.  "Is that because of who my parents are?" Xander asked Jett once he had wiped the spit off his ear.

Jett blinked a few times.  "I have no idea," he admitted. "I'll ask him later."  He gulped his latest drink, then picked up one of the extra sodas.  "They do that often?"

"Anytime I'm in a happy, carefree, dancing mood, yeah.  If I'm on a hunt it's like I draw them for a completely different reason."

"Wonderful," Jett said dryly.  "I'm sure that'll be fun."  He sipped the soda, looking the boy over.  "You need better clothes."

"If I wear leather I look like a vamp."

"Maybe, but it's protective as well.  It can be light armor."

"Only if you get really thick and stiff leather, which then makes me walk like I'm a mummy," Xander said dryly.  "I tried a pair of those on once."

"Fine, we'll work it out," Jett decided.  "Gotta tell ya though, the whole family wears leather."

"Then I will when I'm not on the hunt."

"Fine."  Jett sipped the soda, looking around.  "They're staring." 

Xander leaned back against the wall and lifted one foot up onto the seat, letting the other dangle, but getting very comfortable.  "I'm like a buffet of your favorite treats to them, Jett.  Of course they're staring."

"Then why did you come here?"

"I got offered three hundred bucks to come party.  Each time I come in here, the population goes up and the owner makes a nice profit."  He grinned and sipped his drink.  "The first was pretty odd, but then again I managed not to stake them when they basically slithered around me and begged.  The next time I desperately needed a party night off and I took it.  I came back.  Vamps came from all around the city, even some following me from Sunnydale.  Or so I heard from Buffy and Willow.  They apparently had a very easy night that night."  He looked over, then smirked. "It's my occasional roomie."

"Which one?" Jett looked, noticing the blond staring at them.  "Spike?"

"Yeah.  He's more or less harmless at the moment.  C'mere, Spike," he called, waving him over.  The vampire walked over, looking at them.  "This is Jett, he's going to be working on my training."

"'Bout time you admitted you could do some stuff," Spike said gruffly.  He stared at Jett.  "I know you."

"I know you too, idiot.  You nearly staked me twice."

"Thought you were a vamp. You dress like one," Spike said with a shrug, not sorry in the least.  "Woulda been fun I bet," he added with a smirk for the assassin.  "Who're you really?"

"Head of personal problem eliminations for Ares."

"Hmm, interesting.    We'll be watching, or at least I will.  None'a the others like to watch the chit."  He walked off, going to get a drink and inhabit a corner of the bar.

"That was odd," Xander decided, staring at Spike's back.  "He's pouting," he decided, shaking his head to look at Jett.  "I get forced cohabitation with him sometimes."

"Interesting.  You okay with that?"

"No, but Giles has a sex life and his visitors come from very far away."

"Oh.  Okay then."  Jett took another drink and took another of the sodas for himself.  "This is a cushy job."

"Yeah, but I can't do it every night.  I only do it every two weeks, that way I can afford to stay in town."

"What did the cash the guy gave you go to?"

"Anya."

Jett blinked a few times. "Huh?"

"Anya."

"Your girlfriend took it?"

"No, she wanted something."

"She's a whore?"

Xander hesitated.  "She doesn't know any better."

"You can't train her better?"  Xander shook his head. "Do you love her?"  Xander nodded, grinning at him.  "You're fucked up."

"Slightly," Xander agreed happily.  "Then again, look where I lived my *entire* life."

"Good point," Jett decided, taking another drink. "We'll help you fix that as well.  Before you go broke."

"Can't I manifest things for her?"

"Only small things.  Doing jewelry takes a lot of imagination and concentration. I can't do it."

"Are you a God?"  Jett nodded.  "Over?"

"Personal problem elimination."

"Oh.  Okay then," he said with a grin. "We should probably leave.  They're massing to jump us and will demand that I give in and be turned by someone."

"Sure, let's go."  He finished his soda and walked the boy out, staying between him and the vampires.  He sneered at the door guard.  "We're going."

"That's fine.  Remember the non-violence policy the next time please."

"You can't tell me one vampire will make a difference in this city."

"Unless it's Angel," Xander corrected.  The door guard shuddered. "Hey, I used to work with Angel.  He was in Sunnydale too."  He led Jett on, letting him go to his bike.  "Where are you staying tonight?  I can get somewhere nearby."

"I'm in the Traveler's Motel. It's cheap, scummy, and no one asks any questions."

"Fine, that's about what I can afford," Xander agreed.  He pointed at his car.  "I'll follow you." Jett nodded, going to his bike while Xander found his keys and got in to drive.  He followed the interesting God out of the parking lot, heading after him to a cheap, rundown motel in a semi-bad part of town.  He got out and went into the office, getting a room, then parked his car in front of it.  He got out, looking around for the bike.  "Where did he go?"

Jett came around the side of the building.  "I parked around back, kid. I'm like that. Which one are you in?"  Xander pointed behind him.  "Fine.  Got a bag?"  Xander shook his head, heading inside but leaving the door open enough for him to follow.  Xander had stripped off his shirts and taken off his shoes by the time Jett had walked in.  "Feel better?"

"Much.  Too many clothes."  He flipped on the air conditioner to cover anything they said from eavesdroppers.  "So, why are you really here, Jett?"

"To finish your training.  Ares said so.  He said there's some big shit coming your way and you had to be better trained.  He said something about not losing you again too but that was a momentary lapse into mushiness.  Only happens once a century or so."  He sat down in the old chair, looking the boy over.  "You've obviously started to work out."

"I work construction, Jett.  I don't need a gym."  He flexed an arm muscle, looking at it.  "They could be more defined but I don't want to look like a bodybuilder."  He caught a hint of Jett lunging up to get him and turned, then helped him onto the ground, but the other man had caught him around the waist, trapping him.  Xander bit him, making him howl.  "If you wanted kinky sex, you should have picked up a vampire," he said dryly, getting free of him. He stood there, looking down at him.  "Are you sure you want to train me?"

"It's an assignment.  Ares will open my ass wide and back an elephant up into it if I fail and you die."

"Interesting mental image," Xander said, shaking his head quickly.  He shuddered.  "Eww."

"Sorry, kid."  Jett got up.  "It was just a test."

"Fine.  I got that part.  That's why I bit you."  He wiped the drool off his shirt.  "Sorry, I'm a bit hungry," he said with a grin.

Jett shook his head.  "You're a goofy guy, Xander.  You are a lot like Joxer.  We can work on that too."

"I like telling jokes, it makes me happy," Xander pointed out.

"Fine.  It's probably a defense mechanism anyway."  He shrugged and sat down again.  "Get comfy.  It's going to be a long night while I test you about what you can and have done."   Xander stretched out on one of the beds.  "Not that way, kid.  I wouldn't care but you couldn't handle me."

"I'm not offering, Jett.  I'm dating a former vengeance demon.  We'd both be very sorry in the morning."

"True," Jett agreed slowly.  "Why?"

"She picked me to teach and protect her."

Jett shuddered.  "You need better girlfriends. Did Cupid sanction this one?"

"He hasn't reappeared and he hasn't shown up to smite her for giving him a headache yet.  I'm supposing he likes the woman since she's got more energy than most batteries and is more than willing to use them six or seven times a day."

"Then maybe she should dedicate herself to Cupid and move on," he said grimly.  He looked up. "Cupid?"  Cupid appeared, his wings fluttering slightly.  "Do you have any beef with Xander here and Anya?"

"I like Anya, she's recharged me many a day," he said dryly.

"Told ya so," Xander said smugly.  "Hi again.  You do know I'm thinking about proposing to her, right?"

"Nope, didn't know that, and Pops would have to agree to it," Cupid told him. "It's that way among the family."  He shrugged. "Consider him like a Godfather."  He looked at Jett again.  "Pops sent you?"  Jett nodded, looking smug.  "Fine, then I'll warn you of this.  Anya will not like you moving into her territory.  Xander is her snuggly and protector."

"I'm going to be teaching him how to protect her better," Jett pointed out.

"Yeah, but you constitute a distraction from his time with her.  She won't like it."

"You could always take her," Jett offered.

"Dude, I like sex as much, if not more, than the next person, but I can't keep up with her," Cupid complained.  Xander chuckled.  "That's how we knew you had manifested, Xander, you didn't die after a few of those marathon bouts and kept going."

"Even I eventually got tired," he reminded him smugly.  "Thankfully she hasn't had another of those weekends planned recently.  She wasn't happy about me coming in tonight either.  Did she know about Ares sending him?"

"Nope.  There's no way she could have.  Anyway, want me to drop the word in her ear that he's being trained?"

"Please," Jett agreed.  "I'll work on him tonight and tomorrow."  They shared a mental conversation, Jett telling him what he had learned about this woman and Cupid telling him the rest.  Xander was entitled to a Godly credit card but they couldn't do that with Anya being such a money-grubbing woman.  So they'd have to wait.  Cupid grinned at Xander, then disappeared.  "So," Jett said finally.  "You're thinking about marrying her?"

Xander nodded.  "I am.  I can stand her, she puts up with most of my stuff.  We're living together at the moment."

"I see."  Jett nodded. "That'll definitely make her whine when you're too tired to please her after a few training sessions.  I'll be getting a place in town so you can stay there if you need to."  He put his feet up on the edge of the bed.  "You tired?"

"Not really.  I'm more energized by the people I was dancing with."

"Really?" Jett asked, sending a quiet query to Ares about the boy's Godhood.  He didn't get an answer.  "What did they name you over?"

"Nothing yet."  Xander waved a hand.  "They said that they can't do that, the proper people haven't announced what it was yet."

"Hmm.  It's interesting that sex and vampires dancing would *energize* you," Jett said thoughtfully.  "Maybe you'll take Bacchus' place."   He shook his head.  "That's a bad thought."

"Maybe they'll break it up.   I don't want to be over vampires, I'd feel odd after killing some of them," Xander explained at the odd look he received.

"Maybe," Jett agreed calmly.  "For now, let's get back to what you know how to do properly."

"Yes, sir," he sighed, shifting some to roll onto his side.

***

"Xander," Anya called as the door opened.  She looked up and smiled at the man standing there.  "Who're you?  You're Godly, I can tell that much."

"I'm the God of Annoyances," Joxer said smugly.  "I'm here to check up on Xander."

"Why?"  She put the pot she had been using off to one side.  "Why are you here really?"

"To check up on Xander."  He smirked at her.  "That's part of my job.  One of us is training him, one of us checks up on him, and the other one will be here to annoy you to no end, but that's Jace."  His smirk grew a bit more smug. "How do you feel about drag queens anyway?"

"Am I going to become one or become related to one?"

"Well, yeah, if you and Xander stay together."  He moved over to hug her.  "Then we can do all sorts of bonding stuff!" he cooed.   "We can sharpen weapons together and write Xander a theme song, and we can even go shopping for his own armor!"

Anya looked at him.  "Do you hate me?" she asked blandly.

"Nooo, I *love* you, you're a neat daughter-in-law," he said with a grin.  "So much better than most of the stepkids or their spouses.  You're one of mine you know."

"Wonderful.  I'd rather be Bacchus' again."

"Sorry, can't grant that one.  He's kinda dead.  I was playing a lyre to distract him when he died."   He sat down, staring at her.  "So, what sort of music should we put his theme song to?"

"Theme song?"

"Every hero needs one," he said patiently.

"Xander's not a hero," she said impatiently.  "Buffy is a hero.  Xander is a zeppo.  Just ask him."

Joxer gave her a long look.  "You have not a clue who you're sleeping with, Anyanka.   Not.  A.  Clue."  He smirked at her again.   "Xander is a hero in many ways and many times.  You have no idea what you've stepped in, but I'd pray *really* hard to Ares.  He's kinda...possessive about his sons.  He hates it when people diss 'em.  Except Jace, he gets away with it because he gives Ares headaches."  He grinned again.  "Don't worry, I'm sure you and Jett will get along *just* fine," he offered. 

"Jett?" she asked flatly.  "God of Assassins?"  He nodded, still grinning a sappy grin.  "Why is *he* training my Xander?"

"Because Ares said so," he pointed out.  "Another very good reason to pray to Ares to give you knowledge of your true mate.  Before he gets...upset."  He disappeared, and his grin fell to the floor, shattering into a bunch of white and pink pieces. 

Anya looked up.  "Why me?  Can't I have Xander without those ones?"

"No!" a booming voice called, but no one appeared.

"Fine," she said meekly.  "Sorry.  Doesn't he need his lips to suck up to Ares and to kiss his butt?"  She found the broom and the dustpan, cleaning up the mess the God of Annoyances had made.  She went back to fixing dinner, pushing that out of her mind.  She'd consider it a hallucination.  The Gods weren't going to plague her.

***

Xander smiled at Jett as he woke up.  "Hi."

"Good morning," he greeted.  "Sore after last night?"

"No, it's been a nice night.  Dancing doesn't make me sore, unless I'm stripping."

"You stripped?  You?" he asked, looking the boy over.  "You're cute, but not the sort I could picture shaking it for bucks."

Xander smirked and shrugged.  "You do what you have to do to make ends meet."

"Uh-huh," Jett agreed slowly.  "I still can't see you shaking it for dollars and pleading for drink sales."

"No, I got some mild tips.  Nothing too great.  Nothing to brag on, just some minor tips."

"You didn't work in a demon club, did you?" he asked dryly.  "You would have made top tips there, kid.  Since all of them *love* your ass so much."  He grinned at the boy.  "That's one way to earn a down payment on a house."

"Would that matter in my training?"

"Having a house?  It's usually more private and you could easily change a room into a gym for training purposes."

"Not that," Xander groaned.  "Them liking me so much."

"Only if that's your area."  Jett looked up.  "Yo, annoying sperm sharer!  Got any idea of his area yet?" he called.

Jace appeared in a flash of gold glitter, hands on his hips.  "I should paddle you for that, but you'd probably like it," he sneered.  "No, no one has any idea of his area."

"They might want to check under Bacchus.  The boy makes vampires pant and wiggle like bitches in heat.  Or like you when you find a cherry boy."

Jace slapped at him, just a gentle swat really.  "I hate you."  He stuck his nose in the air, sneering at Xander.  "What are you looking at?" he demanded in his most queenly voice.

"Something more interesting than any soap opera on tv these days?" he suggested dryly, smirking at him.  "Hi, I'm Xander."  He held out a hand.  "Jett got assigned to teach me."

"I know," Jace said smugly.  "Everyone does."  He looked at Xander's hand.  "You need a manicure and some lotion."  He manifested a bottle.  "Here, use this.  'Dite makes it for me specially," he said before disappearing.

"Sibling?" Xander asked dryly.  He sniffed the lotion, then put it aside.  "A bit stronger than my Jergins at home."

"Yeah, it is," Jett agreed.  "We're triplets.  Unfortunately."  He heard a thought and grinned.  "Oh, and Anya got to meet Joxer last night.  He's working with her on your theme song."

"I get a theme song?  Why?"

"Because Joxer's like that," he said wisely.  "Just hope you have more talent than he does for singing your theme song.  Joxer drove all of Olympus mad with the 215 extended verses he sang for...six...days...straight.  Ares nearly killed him but Cupid locked him in a leather mask and shortie shorts for sixty years, forcing him to do nothing but watch the orgies going on below him.  Ares decided that was punishment enough once he quit howling in pain at the moon and regained his normal senses."

"Poor dad," Xander sighed.  "No one should have to go insane.  You should enjoy it if you are, as long as you've got a good version of insanity instead of paranoia, but even then you've got to get some kick out of it I guess.  Or maybe not, that could be why they don the tinfoil hats."

"Ares went to Thor and asked him to bash the singing out of his head."

"Interesting.  Is Thor a big, buff, blond like they show in the comics?"

"Yeah, and he wears a pointy hat with horns.  Mostly to sleep with women.  Or while he sleeps with them.  He's a bit kinky that way."

"Does he make them wear fur bikinis?"

"No, he prefers them naked and lying on furs, but tied down like frightened sacrifices to his manliness.  The man's got a twelve inch tool but he's insecure about it.  Then again, I've heard Jace say that once Thor gets there, no one else will ever get a tight hole."  He shrugged.  "I never tested that theory.  All I know is that the former virgins mope for weeks.  He's even driven one to suicide by not going back to do her again. He only likes virgins."

"He's got to be short on sex then," Xander said with a smirk.  "They're in short supply these days.  If aliens came down and said that our continued existence would take an offering of a thousand virgins, you couldn't pull that many out of this planet who're over age."

"Not totally true.  Some people do wait," Jett assured him.  "Then again, they'd probably never get a guy."

"Yeah, I doubt it."  He grinned at Jett.  "Do you really think I'm under Bacchus?"

"Possibly.  You're the one who's bouncy after dancing and turning on vampires.  Can you tell when they're rising to salute you?"

"Well, kinda," Xander admitted, blushing a bit.  "Not just physically but I know when people want me.  It's a nice feeling."

"It is," Jett agreed.  "I can only tell when they're dead."

"I guess that's handy in your line of work," Xander offered.

"It is, but it's not as exciting as knowing when someone will beg to blow you in front of a crowd."

"Only a few got that bad," he protested. 

"I'm sure you'll get more next time," he said sarcastically.

"Maybe," Xander agreed with a grin.   "Hopefully they won't pinch me next time."

"Yeah, maybe they'll go back to nipping."

"You know, I could set myself up as a dealer and make a ton from the vampires," Xander joked.

"Your father would kill you," Jett said blandly, crossing his feet after putting them onto the end of the bed again.  "We'd never hear the end of it."

The dark, deep disembodied voice came back.  "No playing with vampires.  No teasing vampires.  No sleeping with vampires.  No giving blood to vampires.  No making them perform sexual acts in front of others while teasing vampires.  No vampires, boys."

Someone pounded on the door.  "How many people you got in there!" someone yelled. "You didn't pay for an orgy!"

Xander got up and opened the door with a bright grin.  "I'm having a religious experience and conversing with my God.  Did you hear him too?  You can join our cult if you want," he offered with a wink.  "We could use a special guy like you at our training.  Of course, the high priests get first pick of the lower levels to...serve them...."  The manager walked off in a huff.  "If you're sure, but the offer stands whenever you're ready to join us in the study of pleasure in the service of our God."  The manager flipped him off so he giggled and closed the door.  "I like doing that."

Jett patted him on the back as the boy walked past him.  "Too bad we've got a God of torture.  That was pretty decent for an amateur."

The deep voice coughed.  "No taunting the mortals or exposing yourself to them," he ordered.

"Does that mean I can't have sex outside the family?  I gotta admit it, pops, I don't believe in incest.  That's just kinda icky."  He flopped onto his back on the bed, smirking at Jett.  "Sorry, man, I like you a lot, but you're family and that's icky."

"Not among us," Jett said with a shrug.  "Besides, I only like people under me, kid.  We can deal with that issue when I have you sweaty and on your back, begging for mercy."

Another cough.  "Play later, train now.  Training before pleasure, Jett."

"Jeez, Ares, uptight much?" Xander called.  "I can train and have pleasure.  That's why I have an Anya.  She *loves* pleasuring me to exhaustion after a long, hard day of being sweaty and manly."

Ares appeared, glaring at his son.  "You're going to be too tired for sex, son.  You need to train starting immediately.  That's why I sent Jett to you," he said impatiently.  "You need to train very hard and fast.  Now, have one last day free and one last night of teasing, then go home and train your ass off.  Before I have to step in again."  He glared at Jett then disappeared in a flash of light.  "Get him decent clothes too, Jett.  I'm tired of those shirts."

Jett crossed his feet in the other direction.  "Which mall did you want to hit, Xander?"

"I don't have the money for a new wardrobe."

"And?  We do."  He pulled out his Olympian Card with a smug look.  "Never leave your temple without it."

"Wow.  Who gives those out?"

"Hera.  Ares said you could have one, but not while you're with Anya.  Ares said he couldn't pay off that debt.  It would be worse than the gross national product of a small country, like France."

Xander batted his lashes.  "So you're going to make me pretty for you and big, dark, and studly?"

"No, if you were mine, you'd be wearing nothing but a pair of soft leather cuffs and a blindfold.  For now, we can get you jeans and things."  He stood up.  "Let me go shower.  You take one too."

"I did before you got up."  Xander stood up and put back on half of his shirts.  "There, I'm ready."

Jett looked the boy over, shaking his head.  "First stop will be an underwear store.  I can't believe you were dancing with vampires without any on."

"I'm impressed no one tried to bite me through them this time."

Jett shook his head.  "Give me twenty minutes to get pretty."  He walked out, going back to his own room to shower and get dressed.

***

Anya looked up as Xander walked in with seven large bags, staring at him.  "You bought me stuff?"

"No, Jett said I needed stuff," he countered.  "He said I dress nearly as bad as Joxer, who only wears really ugly plaid according to him. He called it his Braveheart obsession."  He walked into the bedroom to put things away.  "Sorry, Anya, but he wouldn't let me buy you anything."

"Poo."  She walked in there, cuddling him from behind as he pulled out all manner of clothes.  "He bought you black underwear?"

"He said they go better under black jeans in case they get ripped," he said with a small shrug.  "We all know I'm not that picky."

"True, you have some very uninspiring undies, Xander."  She licked the back of his neck, smiling as she felt him shiver.  "Did you like that?"

"I did, but I've got to work at dawn tomorrow," he reminded her.  "We can't go all night tonight, Anya."  He folded the remaining clothes, then got free to put them in his drawers.  "Sorry." 

"Will you at least give me pleasure?"

"Sure," he agreed with a happy grin.  "You missed it, we went to a different bar than usual and some of the vamps *begged* to have me," he said happily.  "Jett thinks I'm somewhere under Bacchus."

"Then I'm happy for you.  Did you touch him?"

"Jett?  No!" he snorted.  "Only to defend myself while he was testing me.  He's *family*, Anya.  That's gross."  He went to the kitchen to get a drink.  "Besides, you know I'm not cheating on you with him.  He's teaching me to do it better."

"That one seemed to think you're some sort of hero.  Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No," he said patiently.  "I'm the youngest son of Ares, Anya.  I have to be trained.  It's an obligation of the family line.  Sorta like wearing leather apparently."  He shrugged.  "I don't like leather but Jett kept looking at some jackets and saying how I'd probably end up with one some day.  Maybe as a graduation present from my training."  He looked over as someone appeared.  "Hey, Jace.  Back to torment me?"

"No," he scoffed, looking him over, shaking his head.  "You need an entire makeover," he announced.

"Jett just bought me clothes."

Jace snorted, rolling his eyes in best theatric fashion.  "I'm sure it's all very *practical*," he sneered, "but that is not what you need.  You have a fabulous body and you should be showing it off."  He looked the boy over again.  "Then again, you could use some work in the gym to add definition."

"I'm fine the way I am," Xander said firmly.  "I like the way I am.  I don't want to look like some steroid-driven, muscle boy.  I like being built the way I am.  I'm more than strong enough to do my construction.  I'm good enough to fight like this.  I'm not changing."  He looked at Jace.  "Do you have problems when you go to straight people places wearing gold velvet pants and a maroon silk shirt?"  Jace sighed and looked up, silently asking for patience.  "By the way, aren't sandals *out* this year?"

"I'll fix you yet," Jace warned.

"Yup, sure you will.  Right after I get a personality transplant and I suddenly become a flaming queen, I'll come to you for fashion advice, Jace.  Until then, I'm learning how to fight.  I can't do that in silk, velvet, or lace - and I do look sucky in lace by the way.  I *like* my looks for the first time in years.  Get over it."

Jace sighed.  "Fine.  But I will still help your wardrobe some.  All black is not good for you.  You need colors to make your skin glow and your body be shown the best way you can.  If you wear all black, you look like a vampire.  If you wear colors...."

"I look like one of Angelus' kin," Xander interrupted.   "I can dress myself.  I still can't fight in silk."

"Fine.  Then we'll work on boring, *practical* clothes," he decided.  "You can still wear something more fashionable while fighting."

"One outfit," Xander warned.  "Only one."

"Fine," he agreed, waving a hand.  He handed over the pile of clothes with a smile.  "Try those on."

Xander looked at the clothes, then at him.  "Turquoise?"

"It's a blue, you look good in blues," Jace assured him.  "Go try it on."  He made shooing motions.  "I don't expect you want me to watch you change clothes since you're clearly not wearing underwear."

"I am so!" he complained, but he went to try on the dark blue pants and turquoise shirt.  They did fit, a bit snug but they fit.  They were comfortable.  He could move in them.  He stretched to make sure of it.  He opened the bathroom door, leaning in the doorway.  "Well?"

"I don't like that shirt," Anya told him. "It's too bright."

"It looks like something you would buy him," Jace said, looking him over.  He frowned and tapped his fingers on his hips, waving a hand at the shirt to darken it.  "There, how's that?"

"Better," Anya agreed.  "Are those comfortable?"

"Very.  Surprisingly so."

"They're stretch jeans," Jace said patiently.  "Jace always knows what to dress you in, dear one.  After all, I got Apollo to quit wearing a gold thong in public or around mortals."  He pulled the boy out to walk around him.  "They do fit very well on your butt.  The shirt needs to be a darker color," he decided, darkening it to a royal blue. He traded the bare feet for top of the line sneakers.  Jett had probably gotten him boots, he was like that.  He pinched Xander's butt, making him jump and spin around, glare already in place.  "Yes, you are Ares' son," he said sarcastically.  He nodded.  "Good, and more like that."  He waved a hand, putting ten more outfits on the bed, exactly the same sort, stretch jeans, plain t-shirt in dark colors.  Plus one in pale blue.  He adored the boy in blues.  "There. I'll expect you to take good care of them and to be a good boy, Xander."  He pulled him closer to kiss him, making the boy struggle.  Jace pulled back to smirk at him.  "Didn't like it?"

"You're not the sort I like, Jace. I'm much more a top.  I like people under me.  Just ask Anya."

"He does like to be on top," she agreed.

"Pity.  He'd make a charming toy," Jace said with a wink.

"Yeah, but you're family and that's icky," Xander reminded him smugly.  "Thanks for the clothes though.  I do look hot."   Jace sighed and left, leaving him looking at Anya.  "So?"

"I like them," she admitted, tossing the rest of them onto the floor.  "But you did promise to give me orgasms."

"True," he agreed happily, taking off the new outfit to toss into a chair.  He could wear them tomorrow.  After he finally woke up. 

***

Jett looked at Xander's outfit as he came in.  "Jace or Joxer?" he asked finally.

"Jace.  He stole a kiss too.  Made Anya hot."  He tossed his overshirt on the back of the couch.  "Now what?"

"Now, we practice."  He waved a hand at the open space.  "There, Xander."  Xander moved into the open area, readying himself. Jett watched him, then leapt at him, trying him again.  Xander faced him off without thought and moved on to fighting back.  Jett tested him in a few different styles, and Xander was trying very hard.  Finally he stepped back.  "We'll start with blocking," he ordered.  "You still need some work in blocking. You've got avoidance down pat."

"It's easier sometimes.  Vampires are faster and stronger."  He relaxed and Jett nodded that it was fine. 

He moved closer.  "Instead of avoiding me, block the hits."  He swung at Xander and the boy ducked, making him groan.  "No, stand still."

"Sorry, it's an involuntary twitch."

"Okay, fine," Jett agreed.  "We've all got that one.  You can learn to ignore it."

"Yeah, but I don't like being hit."

"Which is why you learn how to block and how to fight better."  Jett started on him again, watching as Xander only blocked those he couldn't duck.  He backed the boy up against a wall, forcing him to block instead of duck and weave for a bit.  Xander ducked under his swing and moved to face his back, giving him a shove.  "Hey!"  Jett looked at him.  "You've got to block sometime, kid."

"No, I don't usually.  I try very hard not to have to," Xander pointed out.  "I fight things that are better, faster, and stronger than I am.  Ducking and dodging is usually safer and smarter."

"You still have to learn how to block and how to hit back."

"I'm trying!"

"Calm down.  It's what normal people do.  No one likes to get hit, unless they're odd and wrong in some ways."  He looked at his student.  "I know you're used to avoiding it but sometimes you have to hit back."   Xander nodded. "What do you usually do in those situations?"

"Duck and then get them from behind."

Ares appeared, looking at his son.  "You hit from behind?"

"Yeah!  Hello, been fighting really strong vampires!"  He waved a hand.  "Not exactly what most normal people like to lunge at and hit."

"Fine," Ares agreed.  "Let me try, Jett."  He sized up his son, then slowly moved closer, then suddenly reached out.  He got ducked under and Xander came up behind him.  "Interesting."

"He can't or won't stand still to block," Jett offered.

"Hmmm."  Ares spun and tried it again and Xander did block, but he ducked under the second blow and the third, then kicked him in the knee, grinning at him.  Ares looked at his son, smirking at him.  "Fine, you're not going to be a warrior the way most are.  Jett, any chance of him training as one of yours?"

"Hell no," he snorted.  "I still think he'll be under Bacchus' old job."

"Hera's being mute on the matter."

Jett groaned.  "Hera!"   She appeared, scowling at him.  "We're trying to train this one," he said, pointing his thumb back at Xander, who waved and grinned.  "We need to know what to train him as since he's not exactly a warrior of Ares' and he's not exactly one of mine.  We know he got hyper while dancing with some vampires and he can read their energy flows in some ways."

"I do not want to be Bacchus!  I don't want to be over vamps unless I can make them all go away.  I'm kinda engaged in a war against their kind ya know."  Xander looked around then scrunched up his face *really* hard, grinning when a stool appeared for him to sit on.  "I'd make you guys one but I'm about to have a headache.  Anya's going to be really pissed at me later."

"That's another thing, the *moron* who tied him to the Master did it wrong," Jett noted.  "He attracts demons and we don't know if it's part of his gifts or not."

Hera continued to scowl.  "Fine.  We'll see what area he's over."

"Let's hope it's something I can do," Xander pleaded.  "I'm tired of being the butt of jokes.  So hopefully nothing under, say, Artemis?  Or Hecate?  Or even Hades?  Though I hear he's very cool to hang out with and he's got to have a lot of stories."

"It's not that way among us, young man," she assured him.  "A god can't be useful if he's not well versed in his area."  She walked over to him, looking at his energy patterns.  She laid a hand over his right ear, blowing in his face.  He shivered and she smiled.  "He's under Athena.  Under knowledge."

"I barely graduated high school," Xander pointed out.  "Again, not something I can really do and not embarrass everyone in the universe."

Hera frowned at him.  "What were you doing instead?"

"Fighting vampires."

She frowned at him.  "That's not possible.  Has no area of study ever interested you?"

"Nope," he said immediately, shaking his head.  "I hate books."

"Who tied him to the Master?" Ares asked.

"Zeus and Hecate."

"Can I kick their asses?" Xander asked sweetly, grinning at her.

"Possibly.  If anyone should, you should," she agreed lightly.  She looked at him again, doing the hand over ear/blowing in face maneuver.  "He still reads as knowledge."  She stepped back.  "This is going to cause some problems.  I'll make sure Athena will allow you to go.  Give me a few days, Alexander."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, dear."  She looked at Ares, giving him a silent command, then disappeared.

Ares shrugged.  "Okay.  You've still got to learn how to defend yourself," he told his son.  "It's mandatory that all children in the family take self-defense lessons.  You've got to do it too.  Don't fight with Jett, he knows better than you do."  He disappeared, then came back to look at his outfit.  "Jace?" he suggested, pointing at his pants.  Xander nodded.  Ares sighed and rolled his eyes, leaving again.

Jett coughed.  "Okay, now that you're the newest problem of the pantheon, we'll figure it out soon enough.  For now, though, we've got to deal with your refusal to block punches, kid."

"I'm not that young."

"Bullshit.  I'm about as many centuries old as you are years."  He waved away the stool, watching as Xander fell onto the floor.  "It's time to start again, no more procrastinating."  He lunged at Xander and the boy rolled away from him, tripping him up and rolling him on top of him to hold him down.  "Having fun?" he asked, looking up at the boy.

"Loads.  You?  I had to tell Jace about only being a top."

"If you're sure," he offered.  "Now get off."

Xander beamed.  "Really?  Right here?  On top of you?  Wouldn't that be naughty of me?"

Jett groaned, rolling onto his side to dislodge the boy from his waist.  Xander wiggled to get away from him but he easily pinned him to the floor.  "There, that's where you should be."

"But I only top, Jett.  I'm not a squishy person who can be ridden into the bed."  He bucked up and got a knee in the way, knocking Jett off him.  "But if you want to play, we can do that.  I've got to go on patrol tonight."  He smiled.  "Then you can see what I do."  He got free and stood up, dusting himself off.  "Wanna come with?"

"Sure, why not.  I haven't slayed since the Middle Ages.  The girls back then were fairly thin. They barely lasted a few months at times."  He grabbed his jacket, watching as the boy grabbed his overshirt and headed out, happily bouncing along.  They ran into Willow on the way and Xander gave her a hug. 

"This is?" she asked.

"Jett, this is Willow.  Willow, this is Jett, who is my new trainer."

"Trainer?  Like at the gym?" she asked dryly.  "You're bringing him with you tonight why?"  She grinned at Jett.  "He's cute.  Are we maybe making a statement about not having any more evil woman panting after you?" she teased.

"No," he snorted.  "Not even close.  Remember, I've got an Anya."  He patted Jett on the arm.  "He's not like that either."

"Sorry, I only like my partners willing and begging," Jett told her.  "Interested?"

She blushed and shook her head.  "Tara would be very upset with me."  She looked around.  "You know, it's pretty light tonight.  I haven't even seen Spike recently."

"We saw him in LA over the weekend," Xander assured her.  "He was pouting at the same club I was at."

"Oh, so you went to provoke the demons again?" she teased.  "You're very good at that."

"I am, aren't I?" he agreed happily.  "Come on, Jett.  There's way too many of them tonight and time's wasting.  We're giving them too much of a headstart to come up."  He strolled on, waving back at Willow.  "Tell Tara I'll come by soon." 

"Sure, Xander," she called after him.  "Buffy's doing the Western side."

"Cool.  Less for us."  He jogged off, heading to the first spot.  "If we're really lucky we can get done in time to go hang out at the Bronze."  He led the way into the first cemetery of the night.  "Come out, come out wherever you are," he called.  "I'm tasty and yummy.  Very sweet to nibble on."  Six vampires came rushing at him and he grinned at Jett.  "Need a stake?"

"I've got one," he admitted, pulling his out.  "You?"  Xander pulled one from his pocket and they attacked the vampires.  Jett let him handle most of them, watching his technique.  The boy had some style and some abilities, but he could definitely use some improvement in many areas.  It did give him a very good place to start.  Xander was never going to be one of those who jumped in or fought head-on.  He'd have to teach him how to be more sneaky.  Jett saw another running toward him and sneered, raising his stake.

"Not him," Xander warned.  "He's not really a vampire, yet."  He looked at the man standing there.  "Riley.  Having fun?"

"No," he panted.  "Where's Buffy?"

"West side tonight.  Willow said so."

"Damn it.  There's a major group coming up in Sunny Rest."

"Fine, go find her, we'll start that way, see if we can't keep them contained," Xander offered.

"Define major?" Jett demanded.

Riley looked at him.  "Who're you?"

"That's Jett, he's here for a while to work on my training.  How many?"

"Seventeen that I counted."  He stared at Jett but the other man just smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, and for some reason Riley shivered in fear from him.  "I'll find her.  Thanks.  Don't try to take them on.  I tried one and he was too strong."  He jogged off, going to find Buffy.

Xander looked at Jett.  "Freaked him majorly," he said in appreciation.  "Good job."  He pointed at a road.  "Sunny Rest is that way."  He jogged off, going to jump in like usual.   He followed the screams, pulling out his pocket knife to make a shallow cut on his arm, which drew attention to him. Most of the vampires sniffed and turned to look at him.  "Get off the human.  Come try me instead."  All but one of them lunged over to try and capture him, but he dodged and got a few with stakes.  He ducked to scoop up a rock, tossing it at the vampire over the human.  She wasn't screaming any more but maybe she was still living.  A vampire grabbed him from behind and he struggled, but the guy was bigger than he was. 

"Duck forward," Jett called.  "Toss her."

Xander rocked forward, landing on his feet.  She didn't quite sail over his head, but she did go off his side.  He staked her before she could move.  "A woman was that big?" he said in disgust.  He dodged another one coming for him, getting under his arm to stake him.  The next one got him from the side, pouncing on him to drag him onto the ground.

Jett groaned when he saw that, dispatching his victim of choice and heading for the boy.  Ares would be pissed if his son got turned and would be taking it out on him for centuries.  He got that one, hearing running footsteps.  He got Xander up and they each got another opponent, ducking one swing and another grab, which made their vampires run past them.  So they switched and got the other's when they came into range. 

Buffy kicked one with a flying kick and then started off with he crossbow.  The last one she pointed it at was Jett.  "Who're you?"

"That's Jett," Xander panted.  "He's here to work on my training."  He bent down, trying to catch his breath.  When he no longer saw stars he stood back up, leaning on Jett's shoulder.  "Hey, Buffy.  Good timing."

"You dumbass!  You took on vampires by yourself!" she yelled, swatting at him.  "Xanders do not do things like that, they get dead!  Then Willow would have to turn you into a zombie!"

"Chill, chick.  It's fine. I had his back," Jett told her calmly.  "He's not half bad.  We'll work on your endurance," Jett assured him.  "Jace may get his wish and see you in the gym yet."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Bronze?"

"Sounds good," he agreed.  He looked at the victim.  "She was screaming when I got here, but I'm not sure if she's all right or not.  I haven't had a chance to check."

Jett stared at her, then shook his head. "She's living, barely.  It's going to be a make or break night for her."

Buffy pulled out her cellphone, calling 911 for the poor thing while the guys walked off.  She hung up. "I'll see you in a while," she called after them.  "I want an explanation."  Jett waved a hand.  She frowned, something was not right. Was it another evil person after Xander?  He didn't seem that nice and he was wearing leather.  She heard a siren and went to hide.  She'd make sure the paramedics made it back to the ambulance with the girl but she'd be yelled at if they saw her.  None of the local cops and paramedics liked her.   She saw the fearful glances around but they quickly got the girl bandaged and into the ambulance, heading off.  She went to report to Giles and then head to the Bronze.  That did deserve some time off.  She'd done half the town, it was good enough for the night.  It's not like it made a dent in the demons around there.

***

Up on Olympus, Athena canceled the scrying spell they had on the boy.  "He's not mine," she agreed.  "Pity.  I was hoping someone was going to take over those duties.  He's not really a warrior either."

"So Jett said," Hera agreed.  "What do you think he's under?"

"He used his blood to call out to the demons.  I'd say he's taking Bacchus' place."

"He said he didn't want to since he's fighting with them."

"Then he'll be able to weed out the lesser demons," she said with a shrug.

"I think he would have ethical complaints about that," Hera told her.  She looked at the empty pool.  "You have the family chart, was there anything under Bacchus?"  Athena shrugged and went to get it, opening it and glancing at the chart before handing it over.  "Hmm.  His name still appears under yours."

"I release him," Athena said formally.  "He's not meant to be mine."

"Thank you, dear."  She looked as the name faded out but didn't appear anywhere else.  "It's not here."

"He has to be on there, he's one of ours," Athena reminded her, taking the book back to look it over.  She checked the other two pages, but those kingdoms didn't list the boy either.  "Is he in-between maybe?"

"Ares?" Hera called.  He appeared, still scowling.  "We're trying to find a spot for your son.   He had been placed under Athena and Knowledge, but it wasn't right for him."

"The boy hates books," Athena said blandly.  "So I released him and now he's not showing up anywhere.  Is he in-between kingdoms?"

"Well, let's see," Ares said, creating a chair.  "He's been possessed a few times, he was tied to that Master in Sunnydale for most of his life.  He attracts demons.  Demons want him and get high off his blood.  He was nearly turned into a sea creature back in high school.  He slays with the best of them, including the present slayer.  He's her sidekick and Joxer's already working on his theme song.  I had to kick him out of the temple when he started to hum.  He's dating a former demon, is thinking about marrying her, but Joxer doesn't like her very much at the moment because he said she doesn't have a clue who and what the son is really like.  He can't be under Jett, or Jace, I've already talked to both of them.  The boy gives Cupid headaches, that's how we found him.  And on top of all that, he's in construction for a living and likes it a lot."

Hera and Athena both groaned. "Temptation?" Athena asked finally.   "Since he doesn't want to take over Bacchus' old spot."

"Bacchus is still listed as having his spot, he's just less effective from Hades' realm," Ares said dryly. "Maybe you should ask Hades?  He's pretty good at finding these things out and he can do the life-line review thing like the Fates do."

"Hades, a word?" Hera called out.  "At this rate it'll be a full Council of Twelve event to find this boy a spot."

"Well, he *did* ask to be put in a spot where he wouldn't look like a moron," Ares said, smirking at her. "He asked not to be under Artemis or Hecate, and when told where he had been he denied that one too."

"Which is a good thing," Athena agreed.  "The boy can't be Knowledge if he doesn't like to read."

"What's going on now?" Hades sighed as he appeared.  Ares was noted first.  "Something wrong with your son?"

"Just the fact that we can't find him a spot," Athena said bitterly.  "He was put under me at birth but being tied to a vampire in Sunnydale has warped him terribly.  The chart doesn't show him having a spot."

Hades looked at the book, then groaned.  "He's in-between?"

"He slays, he's possessable, he's attractive to demons, he was nearly a fish creature, and he's thinking about marrying his former demon lover.  Jett thought something under Strife or Bacchus.  The boy doesn't want to be Bacchus though because he's in a war against the demons of the world.  He works with a slayer."

"Fucking hell, Ares, can't your kids have normal problems?" he complained.  "I'll look over the boy's life, do a review.  Maybe I can find something in there."

"He does tempt demons," Athena offered, taking back the book. 

"They get high off his blood," Ares agreed.  "He can tell when they're getting hot for him on the dance floor too.  He goes to taunt them every now and then."

"He just broke up a planned sacrifice by vampires by cutting his arm to draw them," Hera told him.

"Then I should probably ask Bacchus for his help.  He's bored anyway," Hades agreed before disappearing. 

"I knew you and Joxer having children would bring problems," Athena complained.  "That's two now, Ares.  Fortunately the other one only wanted to be married powerfully."

"That's her thing, I wanted her to be a warrior."  He stood up and made his chair disappear.  "Anything else?  I've got to banish Joxer to the mortal realm until he quits singing again."

"No, go, save the sanity of all of us," Hera said tolerantly.  Ares disappeared so she looked at her stepdaughter.  "No ideas?"

"Temptation," she said with a shrug.  "He is very tempting."

"That would fit under Bacchus, Strife, and Cupid," Hera agreed.  "Perhaps.  I'll go check on Hades and suggest that."  She disappeared, landing in the central throne room of Tartarus.  "Hades, Athena had a suggestion."

"I heard.  It's possible," he called, opening a door.  "This way, Hera.  We're doing a full life review by the speed method."  He let her in and closed the door again.  "Anything, Bacchus?"

"The boy should have been mine in payment for what Joxer did to me," he complained, looking at them.  "His line's so tangled it's hard to get a good reading on most of it."

"What about what you can read?"

"He reads like one of Athena's Chosen," Hades said grimly.  "That doesn't exactly lead to a long life and since he's a full god he can't be one of them."

"I knew I made that decision for a reason," Hera said sarcastically.  "No ideas?"

"Not a one," Bacchus admitted.  "He doesn't want my spot, right?"

"No, he's presently fighting with most of your people," Hera pointed out gently.  "He's working with a slayer and sees a clear conflict of interest."

"Good."  He scowled at the thread.  "This boy is not right."

"He was tied to the Master, Bacchus, of course he's not right," Hades snorted.  "Why else would we be doing this?"

"Who did that to him?"

"Hecate and Zeus," Hera told him.

"Good, then I'll be using my days off this year to go talk to them.  Perhaps a horn up their asses would help."

"Probably not, Zeus might like it," Hera said dryly, smirking at him.  "Do record it for me however if you do go that way."  She looked at the string.  "We'll have to make a decision within a week since Athena formally renounced him earlier."

"Zeus won't be happy about that," Hades noted.

"It's his fault," she spat.  "He should be doing this but he'd put the boy somewhere he'd be worthless."  She shook her head.  "Let me know, dear.  So I can tell them.  They're working on his training at the moment with Jett."  She disappeared, going to the council chamber, where Zeus was lounging.  "I loathe you," she said in greeting.  "You and Hecate have now created the biggest headache on this mountain in nearly three thousand years."

"I haven't slept with her," he protested.  "There's no issue from us."

"No, but you tied one of Ares' sons to a vampire and now he's not fit for the position he had and we can't find him a new one."  Zeus shivered at the coldness in her tone.  "So get off your worthless ass and go help Hades and Bacchus!" 

"Why should I?  They're better at that sort of thing."

"Hecate!" Hera yelled.  She appeared, looking confused.  She slammed her with a ball of power, immobilizing her.  "You and Zeus are responsible for the warping of a God from his native element.  I hereby charge you with that and you will stand trial, both of you."

"Now, Hera," Zeus said calmly.  "You can't do that."

"I can," Athena said as she appeared.  "It's unfortunately true.  Any luck yet?"

"No," Hera said grimly.  "Not a bit.  You know Ares won't like it if his son is judged as a rogue.  He'll take over and destroy most of us."  She glared at Hecate.  "What were you thinking when you tied his son to the Master?"

Hecate swallowed.  "The Fates told us to."

"Oh, no," Atropos said as she appeared.  "You're not laying this one on us.  We like that boy.  We've kept him alive this long.  You're not laying that one at our feet, Hecate.  We refuse to take it this time."  Hecate screeched but since she was still pressed against the wall and unable to move that's all she could do.  "Justice!" Atropos called.  "I'm tired of this shit, get your ass up here now, girl!"

Justice appeared, looking bemused.  "Who blamed what on you this time?"  Atropos pointed at the tableau beside them.  "Alexander?"  Hera nodded.  "Any idea where the boy goes?"

"Not a clue.  They warped him so he couldn't be in his native one.  Atropos, dear, any ideas?"

"Something under Bacchus or Strife," she said with a shrug.  "We've tried, Hera.  We tried a great many times to save that boy some warping, but *nooooo* Zeus had to have his way again," she spat.  "It's your fault we're dying!"

"Enough!" Zeus yelled.  "I am not responsible...."

"You helped me tie him to that vampire.  If I go down, you go down," Hecate promised.

"Oh, shut up," Justice complained, zapping her with a gag.  "You too, Zeus.  I've had about enough," she ordered, staring him down.  "Ares?"  He appeared, looking amused at least.  "Where you're son?  So we can pull him up here and examine him?"

"Working.  It's a new day and he's getting sweaty building houses."

"Very well.  Get Apollo to get him and bring him here.  Then tell those working on it to come examine him in person.  I want this solved before it becomes a bigger instability."

"We agree," Atropos offered.  "Clotho's been crying over that boy."

"Fine," Ares agreed, going to do as ordered.  Justice may seem nice and sweet and gentle, but she could be a bitch when she got rolling and outraged.  "'Pol," he called as he walked into his temple.  "Go get my son and bring him here.  Justice wants him."

"Why?" he whined from his spot lounging in a hammock under his sun.

"Because Justice said so.  He's the one Zeus and Hecate warped.  We've got six days to find him a spot."

"Shit."  He hopped up and went without changing. 

Ares smirked and went to find the other two or three.  Maybe they'd bring popcorn.

***

Xander looked up as some of the guys around him squealed in fright.  "Wow, I thought Jace cured you of wearing that in public," he noted dryly.  "Problems?"

"Justice wants to see you.  We're figuring out where you go."

"That can't wait for another hour and a half?"

"You don't keep her waiting, she'll just turn into a bigger bitch.  Come on, kid."

"Fine."  He looked around the very tanned and fit God of the Sun and other things, shrugging. "It's a family thing."

"He's your family?" he asked in awe.

"Yeah, and I'm taking him back before anyone gets an idea about the gold thong."  He handed over his tool belt and took the God's held-out hand.  "I don't suppose I can stop to shower and change?  Or get Jett?" he asked as they disappeared.

"Hell no, she'd kick my ass, kid," Apollo snorted as he joined the others.  "One son, as requested."

"Good.  Come here, boy," Bacchus called.

Xander looked at him.  "We killed something that looked like you a few years back, it was trapped in a book."  Bacchus raised an eyebrow so he shrugged.  "We did, but he was more brown and black than your red tones."  Hades snickered.  "He was!"

"I'm sure he was," he agreed.  "Come here, we're to examine you to see how badly Zeus and Hecate screwed you up.  Hopefully we'll find you a spot at the same time."  He walked the boy over, standing him between him and Bacchus, then put him on a slowly rotating pedestal so they could look him over completely.

"I feel like a chicken in those neat ovens."

"Sorry," Bacchus said.  "Necessary but sorry."  He groaned.  "He does have skills in my area."

"Yeah, but I'm at war with your people.  Not exactly ethically nice."

"True," Hades agreed.  "But you could be over the more harmless ones."

"I still say Temptation," Athena offered.

"That doesn't explain his hunting," Bacchus told her.  "If it wasn't for me still being partially here, he'd be in my spot," he told Justice.  "By the way, might you punish Joxer for me?"

"He wasn't a God at that time and the Fates said so."

"We did not!" Atropos proclaimed.  "That was Zeus! Not us!"

"Fine, I'm the bad guy yet again," Zeus complained.  "Any chance of fixing him?"

"Making him be reborn somewhere else to nurturing parents who loved to read to him and raise him somewhere that he never sees a violent act," Hades suggested.  "Somewhere that no demons exist also."

"I don't really mind my life, I'd just like a spot to belong to before Dad gets a really rude shock and gets ordered to leave me alone."  Xander looked at the Gods around him.  "Can I go back to work now?  I still had a few hours left."

"No," Hera told him.  "You can go back tomorrow."

"Yeah, but I'll still have to put up with 'what was he wearing' questions."  Everyone but Apollo gave him an odd look. "He showed up in the thong, people.  I'll get razzed for weeks."

"Sorry, I thought it was too important to change."  He shrugged but smirked.  "At least I fill it out well."

"Yeah, and I'm gonna be asked if you stuff that thing too since I work around a lot of guys with gender issues.  As in they don't like their own."

"Pfft, what do I care?" Apollo asked grandly.  "They're mortals, they should bask in my radiance."

"Enough," Jace ordered as he appeared.  "Didn't I tell you not to wear that in public!" he screeched.  Apollo hurried away before Jace could catch him.  He sniffed.  "Xander, dear, sweaty is not a good look for you."

"Apollo wouldn't let me change."

"Fine.  Do so now."

"Er, not quite that skilled yet," he noted.  "I'll shower before going out on patrol tonight."

"Not tonight you're not," Justice told him.  "It's gonna be a while, Xander.  Come sit beside me."  He shrugged and walked over to sit beside her, letting her put an arm around his shoulders even.  She kissed him on the temple, then smirked at Zeus.  "You're so dead."

Zeus stood up.  "I don't have to listen to this."

"You will or I'm toasting your balls," Hera told him.  "You fucked up, you deal with it."

"Fine, then he can go rogue," Zeus told her simply.

"Do it and watch me destroy everything," Ares vowed, buffing his nails on his vest.  "Son, I agree, sweaty is not a good look for you."

"Sorry, *dad*, but I happen to work outside doing sweaty stuff all day.  Excuse me for needing to pay the bills."

"I like him," Bacchus admitted.  "He's got fire, like Strife did."

"Strife?" Xander asked, looking at him.  "That's actually a job description?"  Ares nodded.  "Not going to call him in since he seems to be over my life?"

"He's dead too," Hades said gently.

"So's Bacchus since he looks like a ghost."

"Strife won't come up, kid," Ares told him.  "It's painful for him."

"Okay, then I'll leave that point alone."  He shrugged. "I don't like to see people in pain."

"Thanks."  He looked up.  "Discord!"  She appeared, looking confused until she saw Xander, then she sighed and shook her head.  "We're finding him a spot."

"Bacchus' old one?" she suggested.  "Or Strife's?"

"I hadn't thought of that," Hades offered.

"I'd rather have him back.  This one can plan battles and he can fight, but he doesn't like to."

"I'm not a good maker of practical jokes either," Xander told him.   Hades frowned at him.  "Sorry!  Being honest here!  I could lie!"

"No, don't lie, boy.  Being honest is better in this situation," Bacchus admitted, standing up.  He walked over and laid a hand on the boy's head, reading his mind, then he sighed. "If Strife and I had a son, it would be this one," he admitted, looking at Ares.  "Then again, sometimes you were very close to being mine by right of attraction and Joxer is one of Strife's to this day."

Ares nodded at that.  "So where should he go?"

"My temple."

"But I don't...."

"Hush."  He tipped the boy's face up.  "I know you don't think it's ethical.  You're right, but you could also do so much more to help.  You could help thin out the stupid ones.  You could help promote the stronger ones to an area they can't do much harm in."

"Yeah, but I'd rather see them all dead."

"Good point," Bacchus agreed with a small smile.  "This would be so much easier if you didn't have morals, Xander."

"Again, sorry but I'm like that," he said with a small grin.  "I wouldn't care to be partially under you and partially under Dad, but I can't deal with the demons.  I hate demons.  Demons love me but I hate them."

"There's no position like that, Xander," Ares said patiently.  "We can't just make one up without Zeus agreeing."

"No, no new spots.  He can fill in the spot he was originally meant for or the Council will have to give him a new one."

"Zeus, do you want to look like an idiot for putting me into a spot I can't do?" Xander asked.  "I don't like books.  I hate books.  I hate reading books, I hate learning from books.  How am I supposed to be Knowledge when I don't like books?"

"Originally you were meant to take over Strife's spot," he said smartly, glaring at the boy.   "Knowledge was Hecate's idea."

"Uh-huh.  Do we think I have what it takes to do Strife's job?"

"Hell no," Strife said as he appeared.  "No, no, no, and hell no!"

"I agree," Xander told him.  "Now you see the problem?"

"I did before, Xan.  Calm down about it."  He looked at Athena.  "She had it right.  He's got attraction, but only for demons.  That does cause mischief, which gives me a headache.  It probably gives 'Dite a headache too.  Ares is getting ones from him because he fights.  Athena gets ones because he doesn't use her area when he fights.  Zeus gets one because he's a dick and Hera gets one because of the thought of that marriage going through.  So let's settle this now.  Kid, I know ya hate it, but you're best suited for part of Bacchus' job.  The vamps already know and love ya as their master and liege.  That's why they keep trying to bite you and suckle on the true blood.  Ya might as well be mine, but you're right.  Ya can't pull a prank ta save your life."  He smirked at the boy, getting one in return.  "Though, I do love watchin' ya work the crowds at that club. So do the smart thing, take it on as Bacchus' true heir, and be done with it.  Ya won't be able ta hunt, but you can still rule the town and make it safer.  She's about to go berserk anyway," he shared.  "The blonde one'll get ta hunt, you'll be somewhat over that witchypoo of yours too, and then you can either make Anya your lover for real, which would addict her to your cock, or you can use her as a toss-away until you decide to addict her.  That means Bacchus' don't have ta move on.  You can do what you want when you want it.  Plus you could make that girl something to shut 'er up."

"I'm still seeing ethical issues.  How can I let Buffy slay if I'm one of Bacchus' people.  How can I help her?"

"You'll help her by smoothing out the town, which will probably make her leave," Ares pointed out.  "Think long term, Xander, not short term.  You and Jett are staying in Sunnydale, no matter what.   You can set up an altar, which will draw the stronger, but make the weaker go insane and leave. None of them will like you, but they'll crave you and your affections."

"Which would be nice, but what about those harmless demons?"

"LA," Jett said as he appeared.  He shrugged. "Angel's got space to put up with some harmless demons and he could easily stake the stupid ones.  Plus, he's not powerful enough to be drawn to you so he wouldn't know unless he bit you now."

"No prior bitings would trigger that?" Xander asked.

"No.  In Spike maybe because you have fed him so much.  Then again, he'd make a good consort for you," Jett offered.

"I like girls more and I don't think of Spike that way, he's kinda too dead and cold for my tastes, Jett."

"Yes, but Bacchus had many people who were officially turned but not dead," Hades told him.  "He had a whole harem of them."

"Which would majorly piss Anya off," he noted dryly.  "Former vengeance demon gone to full blown bitch in three-point-five sorta piss off."

"She'd be yours to give powers to anyway," Bacchus said with a shrug.  "Though, if you don't want her, I do.  She seems very good at what she does and I *love* it when women beg for pleasure," he added with a catty smirk.

"My woman."

"Fine.  She'd adore you more anyway," Jett told him.  "You can still have a theme song too since you'd be clearing out the town pretty quick.  Buffy could move to LA and shack up with the Cordy bitch and they could get together.  Buffy seems like the sort to need a more feminine tongue doing the licking."  He grinned.  "Willow would be under control because Hecate's going to be punished soon.  Tara could end up being the more powerful witch on the Hellmouth."

"Speaking of, who's Tara's Godly parent?" Xander asked.  "It's pretty clear, she glows with it."  Everyone pointed at Hades.  "Really?"

"She's Demeter's niece by an immortal daughter," he admitted. "That makes her an in- law.  She is nice though.  Very strong, but very shy."

"So howzaboutit, kid?  Can ya take one for the team for the good of everyone?" Strife asked.  "Before ya make me crap my brains out from the mischief energy floatin' around ya?"

"That's.... a really graphic image," Xander said, shuddering.  "Eww.  Can't you use it to restore yourself?"

"I tried, I got burned."  He looked at Ares.  "I did try."

"I know you did.  My son creates more than enough hell on earth to satisfy you for weeks on a binge.  If you were alive, I'd send you with Jett to work with him and teach him the ropes."

"Good idea!" Hades agreed happily, waving a hand.  "That way I don't have to deal with the dancing sex toys *ever* again.  I give up all claims to the boy being part of my Kingdom.  Poseidon?"

"What?" a cranky, deep male voice called before he appeared.  "I'm having a riot from some of my new sea creatur...."  He looked at the boy.  "Shouldn't you be in the water by now?"

"He's my son," Ares told him.  "The one Hecate and Zeus played with."

"Oh.  No wonder you're not in the sea by now."  He looked the boy over, then shrugged. "Since your godhood defended you, you can't be one of mine.  Pity, you're cute and you'd look good on a half-shell being pampered and stroked to pleasure all day."

"Turn my swimteam back, they'll probably serve you that way for years," Xander said with a smile.  "Does that mean I won't be able to swim anymore?"

"No, I like you.  You're pretty and you're built nicely.  The mermaids would come up to tease you if I allowed it.  You can swim in my waters anytime, my boy."

"Thanks."  He smiled at him, then at his father.  "Dad?"

"Take it, son.  It's the best thing for you.  Even though you don't like it."

"Then I formally name the God Alexander as my heir and my repository of power," Bacchus said formally, stunning everyone.  "Whoever touches him will be like touching me, only he's more deadly and I'm more mean."

"Cooooooool," Strife breathed.  He looked at his body, then shrugged and looked at his grandmother.  "This okay with you?"

"Yes, dear," she said patiently.  "As long as you go help Xander and leave us in peace for a few more centuries."

"Sure," he agreed with a grin.  "Mom!"  She reappeared and paused, then threw a fireball at him.  "What?  Hades got tired of me!  I tried to come back sooner!"

"Auntie Discord, please don't.  I'd hate to have to send out the roving mischief issues that I have and give you a headache too," Xander said, giving her his best pitiful look.  "Please, Auntie Discord?"  She groaned and hugged him, then scowled at everyone before disappearing.

"Nice work," Strife and Jett said in unison. 

Ares snickered. "Fine.  Any disagreement?"  No one said anything.  He counted the Gods around them.  "Apollo, Artemis?  Aphrodite, Hephie?" he called.  "We need a quorum!"

Aphrodite appeared first, fluffing out her hair to dislodge some rose petals.  "For what, bro?"  She saw Xander and grinned, wiggling her fingers at him.  "Hi, Xanny.  How's the Anya?"

"Good.  But she'll be pouting soon since I was supposed to take her out to dinner tonight."  He beamed at her.  "They've decided on a spot for me."

"Artemis, Apollo, get your butts here now!" Aphrodite shrieked.  "Before the kid loses his chance and we all get more headaches from him."

Artemis appeared, looking confused.  "I've never gotten any from anyone in the last century."  She looked at the boy snuggled up to Justice.  "You look familiar."

"You were kinda over me while I was possessed by a hyena a few years back, Auntie Artemis."

"Oh, Xander.  I'd forgotten."  She smiled at him.  "Have they figured out where you go yet?"

"He's my heir," Bacchus told her.

"Good choice," she agreed.  She saw Zeus's scowl and shrugged. "It is.  It'd suit him.  I tried to tell you where he was.  You never listened.  You didn't even let me tell Ares."

Apollo appeared, this time in gold chinos.  "Yeah?  We finally figure it out?"

"He's going to be Bacchus' heir," Artemis told her twin.

Apollo sighed.  "Thank Gaia that I didn't get him."  He looked up. "Thanks, Grandma!"  He grinned at the boy.  "Good job.  Fits you well."  He saw Strife and frowned at him. "You're not dead."

"Nooooo," he drawled with a smirk.  "Hades got tired of the dancing sex toys in Tartarus and Cerbie chewin' on 'em before bringin' 'em ta Chiron for his amusement."  He beamed at Hades.  "Thanks for letting him bring me chicks too.  They were nice."

"I'm sure they were," Hades said patiently.  "Hephaestus?  Sister?"

Gaia appeared first.  "Hephaestus is fixing my toilet, dear, it overflowed," Gaia said with a smile for him.  "There you are, naughty boy," she chided, walking over to kiss him on the forehead. "You left and there's a major demon causing your friend trouble." 

"I'll send him back in a moment," Justice offered with a shy smile for her.  "You're the only one who can overrule me, do you mind if I punish Hecate and Zeus for warping him?"

"No, they deserve it and I can't exactly ground them this time," she agreed gently, pulling the boy to his feet.  "Let me look at you.  Oooh, so big and strong."  She patted him on the cheek.  "You'll do wonderfully as Bacchus' second in command, just remember not to hold too many orgies in my sacred groves in the woods."

"With my woman, that's not likely," he assured her with a shy grin.  "Hi, Gaia."

"Hello, love.  Welcome to the family."  She smiled as Hephaestus appeared.  "There you are.  Is it fixed?"  He nodded.  "Good. Maybe Xander can help you in the future.  He's to be Bacchus' new heir."

"Wonderful.  You do what?"

"Houses mostly."

"Good.  I could use the help now and then," he agreed.  He counted.  "We have a quorum.  Issue is?"

"Me taking my spot."

Hephaestus shook his head.  "Anyone not in favor?"  Zeus raised his hand.  "Besides the people who did it?"  No one said anything.  "Anyone got an alternate suggestion?"  No one said anything.  "Can we hold the confirmation party in Sunnydale in two weeks time?" 

"Hell yeah," Aphrodite agreed.  The others nodded or added in their less stringent 'yeses'. 

"Good, motion carried. New business?"

"Punishment for Zeus and Hecate?"

"Make them do Strife's former job for Hades for six months?" Xander suggested.

"Don't be mean to me, kid, I stuck up for you."

"Sorry, I thought you might enjoy having them down there."

"No, not really.  Gaia?"

"I would say do it traditionally and make them mortal for ten years, but at their ages it'd be suicidal."  She considered it and looked at Justice.  "Make them live Xander's childhood over again?"

"I like that," Justice said with a wicked grin that made both Xander and Strife shiver in pleasure.  "In real time, in their minds I might add," she announced, waving her hand at them.  They disappeared to specially locked room where they could be taken care of but they wouldn't be bothered.  "Anything else?"

Hera shook her head.  "I agree, two weeks for the confirmation hearing.  Xander, dear, go back to your girlfriend, she's throwing a fit.  Strife will be down later with Jett."  He nodded, hugging everyone before leaving.  "He's such a nice boy, even for what he's gone through."

"He is," Ares agreed. "He still can't block a punch though."

"He'll convince anyone who tries ta hit 'im ta go on their backs immediately," Strife said with a shrug.  "It's good fer him."  He grinned at Jett.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Happy being alive?"

"I am.  Everything's back to normal.  Ma tried ta kill me.  Ares hasn't hugged me yet or tried ta kill me taday."  He looked at Hera.  "Can I have my powers back?"

"I forgot.  Here, have some," she ordered, handing over her personal cup of ambrosia.  "Then go help Xander learn control before that whole town ends up in an orgy."  Strife beamed and gulped the contents, making a gross face.  He suddenly cackled and sparkles shot out from his body.  "There you are.  Spend some time with Jett before you go."  He nodded, beaming at Jett, who raised an eyebrow and shook his head.  "Jett, dear, get laid soon. You're making me miserable," Hera ordered patiently.

"Yeah, the rest of us too," Aphrodite agreed. "Cupie thinks he's found you someone though."

"No thanks.  I'd rather have Strife."   They disappeared together to catch up.

"Meeting adjourned," Ares ordered.  Everyone went back to what they had been doing.  Mostly avoiding Joxer and his singing.

***

Xander landed on one foot and one knee, with one hand touching the floor.  He grinned as he felt the building around him tremble but calm down at his command.  "Honey, I'm home," he called as he stood up, dusting his hands off.  "Should we go out for dinner?"

"Buffy wanted you," she said with a pout.  "There's a big, major, scary demon in town and she's scared she'll break a nail."

He kissed her on the cheek.  "I wouldn't worry about it, I got her some help," he promised when she looked up at him.  "It was a good family meeting.  Let's go out to dinner."

"Sure.  You seem different.  More powerful."

"Well, they finally found me a spot.  I'm under Bacchus."  He pulled her up and kissed her, making her moan.  "Get dressed.  We'll go out."  He looked down and found himself dressed by Jett, he's the only one who would have put him into leather pants and a black silk shirt.  "Jett!"

"Sorry," drifted out.  "You needed the leather."

He grinned at her.  "He and Destructo boy are having some fun tonight.  Go change."  He swatted her on the butt.  "Wear something pretty and slightly naughty, with stockings."  She smiled as she went to dress up for him.  It was going to be a good bout of foreplay tonight. Xander looked down at himself, then shook his head, taking the ruffles off so he was in a normal black silk shirt.  "I looked like an Anne Rice character," he complained to himself.  He changed his boots for his usual boots and sat down to wait.  She came out a few minutes later in a pretty dress with a short skirt and the asked for stockings on.  "Let's go."  She grinned and walked out with him, letting him take her to dinner.

***

Across town, Buffy sneered as the demon took off running, along with a bunch of other ones around town.  "Chicken," she called after it.  "Come back and fight!"

"I'm thinking Xander must have went clubbing again," Willow said from her position on top of a tombstone.  She hopped down and handed over her stake.  "I wonder if they're paying him extra to come in during the middle of the week."

"They pay him?"

"Yeah, he draws customers. They pay him like three hundred a night or something."

"Wow.  Bet Anya loves that."  She shrugged and walked off with her best friend.  "Now where?  Since they ran and all."

"Shop?"

"Sure, we can do that," she agreed happily, traipsing that way.  They ran into Anya and Xander, grinning at them.  "The big, major, scary demon just ran from me," she said proudly.

"Congrats, Buffy.  I just got back so we're headed out to do dinner and coupley things."

The girls giggled.  "That's why you're wearing leather?" Willow asked.  "Did you make him, Anya?"

"No, it's a family trait," she admitted.  "They're all like that."  She shrugged. "I'm going to get teased over dinner.  Have a nice night and I hope you get many orgasms tonight, Willow."

"Me too," she agreed happily, watching as they walked on.  "Xander seemed different.  More calm."

"Maybe leather calms him down," Buffy said with a shrug.  "Vampires do seem to like him so maybe if he dresses like them he'll be more aggressive and suit her more."  They headed into the shop.  "The big one is gone, he went for a run," she said proudly to her Watcher, who was manning the counter.

"Good job, Buffy.  Where did it go?"

"Out of town," Willow told him.  "I saw a few others take off running too."  She sat down and grinned.  "We saw Anya and Xander too.  They're on their way out to dinner.  Xander's dressed in leather and silk and he seems very calm about it."

"Is he all right?"

"Yeah, he just seemed pretty calm and kinda alluring," Buffy admitted with a grin.  "Kinda like a wicked and naughty Xander with Anya in a short skirt."

"Ah."  He nodded wisely.  "Then I'm sure they'll have some fun and you'll see them both tomorrow."  He glanced around. "Is there anything else for tonight?"

"Nope, just sharing the good news.  I was going to suggest a movie night in."

"I'm for that," Willow agreed.  "Giles?"

"We've still got an hour left, girls," he said patiently.  They pouted.  "Fine, go.  I'll catch up with you later."  They nodded, heading back to Buffy's house to do the movie thing there.  He looked over as Tara came out of the back room, glowing brightly.  "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything.  I took a nap. I woke up and I'm a lightbulb."  She looked at herself.  "I look like those pictures of saints in the museums.  Only I don't have a pie plate above my head."

He smiled.  "That's fine.  We'll figure it out.  The other two have went to have a movie night at Buffy's if you want to go.  Xander and Anya are out to dinner."

"I guess I will.  Can I walk around like this?"

"Of course you can," he promised.  "Buffy said a great many demons just ran for the city limits."  That made her smile.  "Go ahead.  You could probably catch up with them."  She nodded, grabbing her bookbag and hurrying out after her friend and girlfriend.  He smiled and made a note in his journal about this so he could come back to it later.

Hermes appeared, making Giles shriek and back away.  "Duuude, chill," he ordered with a bright grin.  "It's all good.  I'm here with an announcement.  The heir of Bacchus is in town. It's gonna be okay from now on.  Plus, Heccie's kinda in deep doo-doo right now," he admitted with a grin.  "That's why that one's glowing.  She's her advocate of purity and light."  He waved.  "Laters."

"Hold on.  Heir of Bacchus?  Is that a problem or a good thing?"

"A good thing.  He's not for the whole 'vamps eat the girls before he gets there' thing.  He'll straighten it out soon enough."  He zipped off, heading off to tell some others who needed to know.  Or those that Ares wanted to brag to.

Giles wrote that down as well, going to do some research on the Greek Gods.  "I didn't know Bacchus had a child," he complained.  "Someone left out a few stories."  He stopped and thought for a moment. "Surely it can't be Tara," he said, frowning at that.

***

Xander caught sight of Tara later that night as she headed back to the dorms, jogging to catch up with her.  "Hi."  He grinned.  "Liking being the purity monitor and holiness girl?"

She gaped at him.  "Bacchus?" she said softly, touching his face.

"Heir of," he admitted with a wink.  "Only you and the family knows.  Watch out for Strife, he's on his way down with Jett."  She blushed.  "Hey, if they do it for you, I'm all for it," he promised, giving her a hug.

"My witch," Willow said as she caught up to them.  "Hands off."

"I was only hugging her glowyness."  He grinned at her and let Tara go.  "There you are.  Safe and sound."

"Thanks.  You have a good night, Xander."  She patted him on the cheek.  "We'll talk tomorrow night."  He nodded, going back to Anya's side.  "She was glowy."

"She was," Anya agreed. "She also likes girls, as opposed to me, who likes you."  She grinned up at him and he grinned back.  "Can we go home and have orgasms now?"

"Sure," he agreed happily. "Anything for you, Ahn."  They ran into Spike in front of their building.  "Probs?" he asked with a small smirk.  "Jett said you may be able to tell the difference."

"Oh, I can," he said grimly.  "Can I stay?"

"If you want you can sleep on the couch but he's giving me many orgasms tonight so you're going to be rudely awakened quite a few times," Anya told him primly.  Spike grinned and shrugged so he followed them up.  "I didn't know vampires were voyeurs."

"Can't get none of my own," Spike said with a smirk.  "It'll be like a porno without the visual."

"Go ahead and get ready for me, Anya.  I'll be right in," Xander promised, undoing his shirt.  He waited until she had closed the bathroom door to look at Spike.  "Out me and I'm turning you into a bug-eating, bone shitting minion," he warned quietly.

"Not an issue.  I figured I'll be good in your service."  He nodded at the boy's crotch.  "She gonna need all that?"

"Yup, she will," he agreed smugly. "We'll talk about that later, Spike.  Then again, Strife and Jett are coming down here soon."  Spike's face lit up. "I thought you might. You can go to him if you want."

"Fix me?" he requested quietly.

"If I can.  As long as you know you're gonna be souled within an instant."  Spike shuddered.  "That's the bargain price, Spike."

"Deal.  I guess."

"Fine.  Let me figure out how and I'll get back with you."  Spike nodded, going to find the other two and get some of his own in.  Xander finished undoing his buttons and went to wait on the bed, pants open but not off.  She was going to be blowing him tonight, even if she didn't like doing it.  It was a perk of the job after all.

The End.